SmartLess - "Sarah Paulson"

Episode Date: May 13, 2024

This week we fly-in the amazing Sarah Paulson, with whom we explore and examine the nooks and crannies of an English Muffin, a shared fear of flying, and how to eat air. So get ready, put on your bee-sized boxing gloves, and join us… for an all-new SmartLess.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What do I say? I don't know what I say. What do I do? All right, so I'm going to finish my peanut butter. It's probably really annoying to hear me chew a peanut butter sandwich. What might be a little better is... This is my apple juice. Guys, if this episode of Smartless is as delicious as my lunches right now, you guys are fucking set. Welcome to Smartless. I have a 1.30 pick up and a two o'clock crew call and 2.30 shoot time. So Jason's describing his first day of work, which is tomorrow at a fish market at two

in the morning. He has to shoot in a real fish market that's smelly and stinky. Yeah, the hours of operation is two to six a.m. So that's when we have to be there. And there was a time in my life when I enjoyed those hours of the day, but I don't anymore.

So my first day is gonna be, I'm gonna try to be warm. I'm gonna try to be welcoming. It's gonna be rough. That's two in the morning's rough. Yeah, I don't know. I guess I'm gonna go to sleep at six or something, try to sleep for a little bit.

Or should I just stay up? Should I just go get a big fat bag of white and stay up all night, Will? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's pump the brakes on that. Should I just start counting days again? No,, let's pump the brakes on that. Should we just start counting days again? No, let's just pump the brakes on that. Okay.

So I said to Jay, he was thinking of opening first day gifts or whatever, you know, start gifts. And last night I was with Will Jason and I said to Amanda, I said, the cookie thing, there's like a new place in New York that makes pie cookies. Can you believe Sean knows about that? And they also make croissants stuffed with cookie dough. It's amazing.

Jesus Christ. Yeah. Croissants stuffed with cookie dough. That's right. Yeah. And what do you think I said to that pitch as start gifts? Do you think it was a no or do you think it was a yes? Well, I'm just trying to imagine your tone.

I bet it wasn't considered friendly. No, it was very judgy. Yeah, shut me down immediately. Sean and I were talking on the weekend. We saw each other last night, JV. Yeah, that's what Sean just said. Yeah, and we were with your wife and I spent a lot of time with your wife last night.

We started talking about, I've been freaked out this weekend, and Sean, I mentioned this to you, we started talking about, because you read, I sent you the article, JB, I sent you the article about kids with smartphones. Yes. Yes. And it's been freaking me out. And that guy, Jonathan Haid, wrote that book, Anxious Generation. Yes, this is crazy. And it's been freaking me out.

And that guy, Jonathan Haid, wrote that book, Anxious Generation. Yes, this is crazy. And it's kind of, I spent the weekend like talking to my kids about it. And you know, what this smartphone has done to this young generation and like the super increased rates of depression, anxiety, even sadly suicide of course.

And it's like, it's really sadly suicide of course. And it's like, it's really bummed me out. And I've just been like. Well, what'd the boys say about it? Well, you know what's funny? Did you talk to them about it? I did, I talked to them a little bit about it. And I said, you know, what you gotta remember is that these, some of these companies are trying to,

there are people out there who knew that this stuff would be addictive to you guys and they fed it to you. Like big tobacco. In a way, in a similar way. And I was like, how does that make you feel? Do you feel angry? And they were like, yeah, I feel kind of pissed off

because I feel duped. Look, we're all guilty of it. We were talking last night, like how many times you're talking to somebody and you've got your phone and you go, hang on, sorry, what? Like your attention is divided. And so I do it as an adult and imagine what that does. If you're a teen, it's even harder.

And this is a moment where you're establishing your neural pathways. And I said to Sean, I go, the richest richest man my 13 year old has the same phone is the richest man in the world. That's crazy. Yeah they're all the same phones. I don't let I'm nervous about my kids like going out or walking around the corner or whatever and yet I'll let them get on their phone and go to the far deep reaches of the internet. I don't know I got gotta change. Anyway, that's been kind of dominating my thinking. Something to do, something to figure out.

Something to figure out. Well, how are they, are they able to manage boredom? Like, do they have coping skills for like riding in an elevator and not doing anything except staring at the wall or sitting at a red light and watching traffic go by? You know, like that's something we had no choice but to get comfortable with. And it has, I'm glad I have that skill. I would be very anxious without the skill

of managing boredom. And that boredom led to creative thinking. Thought, yeah, exactly. Do you wanna hear my thoughts when I'm sitting at a red light? Can I guess? Yeah, you can guess. Is there a fart joke in here somewhere. It's good. It's the thoughts are glazed or cake

Sprinkled or no sprinkle hot fudge hot fudge caramel fuck it both So I don't want a phone taking all that away from me hot caramel fuck it both hot fudge caramel fuck it All right anyway look it I'm not we're I'm not, we're not gonna, this is. We're not gonna solve it today, but yeah. But it's food for thought. This is someone who's as delicious as Glazed her cake. She is extraordinary. Oh wow. She is a hoot and a half, a real firecracker.

She has a starburst tattoo on her right foot. What? Yes. As an actress, her body of work is ridiculously vast, and yet she's still younger than any of us. Known in Hollywood for her transformative character work and strength on screen, you might be surprised to learn that her fear of flying goes as far as needing to meet

every pilot before takeoff. Will's gonna bond with that. When not in the cockpit, you could probably find her working on a Ryan Murphy project, or 12 of them. It's still lovely and delightful, and her good friend Sarah Paulson. Sarah, get your ass out here. Sarah Paulson.

I covered the camera with toilet paper. Toilet paper. Sure you did. It would've been better if it was clean, but. Use toilet paper. It's not clean, so. Are you in the bathroom? Sarah.

I'm upstairs. I'm upstairs. Yeah, near a bathroom. You live in New York. This is your apartment in New York? I don't live in New York. I'm just here while I'm doing, yeah, near a bathroom. You live in New York. This is your apartment in New York? I don't live in New York, I'm just here while I'm doing the play. But this is your apartment,

we're visiting you in your apartment while you're doing the play. I'm actually staying at a friend's apartment, renting that apartment. Gotcha. And the play, we should mention. Is that the Tabasco Theater, by the way? It's at the Spicy Tabasco Theater.

That's really the Belasco. That's where Sean won his Tony. And Sarah's well on her way to hers. Tony, yes. For, yes. It's the golden touch of that theater, Sarah, I'm telling you. In her incredible play called Appropriate.

Everybody, if you're. No, no, Appropriate. Oh really if you're- No, Appropriate. Oh really? Yeah, okay, so talk about that because we were like, it's spelled the same and I was like, oh, I didn't know this. It's true. So are we supposed to think

that it's both appropriate and appropriate? Well, I think at the beginning of the play, there's that sign, right? That sort of drop in front of the curtain that describes all of the various ways in which- The noun and the verb. Yeah, the noun and the verb. What is Will doing?

Hi, Sarah. Hi, how are you? He's working on his smartphone. Well, we don't really know you. No, I got some notification to verify that it's me on my Google. I don't know, but I was listening and what I was thinking was.

I mean, just exactly what we talked about. At least I listened more than you did when you were going to see her play appropriate. Clearly, thanks Will. Yeah, Will was not a- Both of you guys, you both missed it. I missed seeing the play. Now Sarah, I don't really know you

like these guys do, so hi. Then hush, let us talk. Yeah, go ahead, go ahead. Weirdly, I wanted to talk to Will. I mean, I know you both and I sort of- Great, Sean and I'll take a tight five. More interested in that. Take a tight five. More interested in that. Take a tight five.

But why is it appropriate instead of appropriate? I think appropriate could work just beautifully for that play. I think it could, and I think it's why he offers both options at the beginning of the play, because all of it is applicable, but I think, I did ask him directly, it is appropriate. All right. I think he's wrong.

I think he's wrong. I'm gonna tell him. Wait, so I wanna do, so we went backstage. First of all, go see the play, it's amazing, you're phenomenal in it, especially that last monologue was incredible, you're standing on the stairs and it's like you're Scarlett whatever and you're just like, it's incredible, it's incredible.

Thanks, Sean. It's really, really great. That's very kind of you, Sean. By the way, I love that thing too. People were like, you know, I was talking about it afterwards to friends and that thing about, it's too long to go into what the whole play's about

because it's about a lot of things, but your character with your two brothers go back to the home where your father died and you're sorting out business and you find all of these questionable things in his past, like pictures of things and other stuff that bring up a bunch of questions about your family and your upbringing.

And at the end of the play, I thought it was so profound when you were like, and please fill in the blanks, but you're talking to your two brothers and you're like, I'm the oldest of this family. I got to hold you and watch you and see all of the things that create your memories, but nobody's ever held me

or was there for me that was dead. Nobody's left in the family who's done that for me. For me, yeah, that was really powerful. Yeah. Well, it seems appropriate. Oh, God. It's definitely not appropriate. This is why we hired Will.

Well, definitely not, well, because that's a completely different meaning. No, I mean, Jason has a lot of skills, but this one particular assessment is not one of them. I tell you what, do yourself a favor. Don't ask either of them to define it because it'll be embarrassing for everybody. So moving forward. I want to talk about flying and your fear of flying, like why that is a view.

Sorry, before we move beyond the play, Will, are you going to find some time to come see the play? Yeah. I am. I am going to see the play. I had, I had, I was. What's the date, what's the date on that? Just so Sarah can be ready. You know, I hate knowing when people are out there.

So don't tell me, don't. Just give her a ballpark. I'd say it, but she hates knowing. Yeah. All right. I wanted to, cause I was gonna say, I was about to tell you, and then she's like, I hate knowing.

You've got till June 23rd, buddy, but I don't wanna know. I don't wanna know. You know, I don't like to know what, I'm the same way. I don't like to know when people are coming. I don't care if it's your dry cleaner. I don't care if it's your dry cleaner I don't care if it's your dentist. I end up thinking too much about about whether or not there

It's my codependent my kind of hyper vigilant way of listening in the world. I'm just yeah I'm just wondering like even any of my castmates. I don't want to know if your fourth grade teacher was there I'm not gonna say I don't I don't want to know if you're in the play tonight This is how I ended up with three kids. Because people didn't wanna know when I was coming. Listen, let me tell you something, Sarah. Hey, whoa. Let me tell you something, Sarah.

That's terrible. Ding-a-ling-a-ling-dong. Have you ever? Sarah, let me tell you something. Here's what I'm gonna do. I wanna show you, and I have so much respect for you as an artist, unlike these guys. I do too. Unlike these guys. Here's what I'm gonna do. I wanna show you, and I have so much respect for you as an artist, unlike these guys. I do too.

Unlike these guys. Jason's quiet, by the way. I'm not gonna tell you. I'm not gonna tell you when I'm gonna come to see this show. I'm not gonna come and see the show, and I'm not gonna tell you afterwards. So you won't even know I was there. You just say it, yeah.

Okay? Because I respect you. That works for me. Sarah, how I respect you. That works. Because I respect you. That works for me. Sarah, how is that at the end where, you know, for Tracy in Wisconsin, it is a practice, a habit, an obligation for anyone in the audience who knows a cast member, or even if you don't know them,

you just happen to be famous. Jason's obsessed with this. You are obligated to go backstage and introduce yourself to the cast and visit for a bit. And if you don't, apparently that's tantamount to giving it a bad review. And so how do you like that dance there at the end where you're done with the play, you're exhausted,

and now you gotta socialize? It's not my favorite, although I will tell you, we've had a couple of fancy famouses come and not come backstage. And we all collectively discuss that we think it means that they didn't like it. But then we sort of think, well, think about it this way. So you're so famous you think somehow that the cast, whom you do not know, wants you to come backstage

and announce yourself to bequeath them with your great... It's arrogant. It's so weird, so it's that, there's no way to win. Yeah, you can't win. But we have had discussions about, you know, there was like some fancy person who came who had worked with someone in the play who didn't come back, and it was like,

well, no, that is a communication that they just don't like you. Yeah, yeah. Right? So can I ask you, if I... Maybe not the whole play, just you. Yeah. If before June 23rd, I find myself at the Tabasco Theater,

and I've seen the play and I've enjoyed it, and I'm the first one to my feet, and my hands hurt from all the clapping, and I'm hooting and hollering, and then there's the moment. If you guys find out that I'm there and I don't come backstage, do you and your cast want me there?

And there's a thumbs up, I just wanna really make a point of this. Do you guys, do you and your cast, do you guys want me there? Or do you? Yeah, I think we would discuss that we thought Will Arnett didn't like the play. Really?

That's what we would discuss, yeah. What if he didn't like the play? This is all I want, so. This is my moment. What ifett didn't like the play. That's what we would discuss, yeah. What if he didn't like the play? This is all I want, so this is my moment. What if he doesn't like the play and he comes backstage and he lets you know? He thinks he's got helpful notes for you. He says, yeah, yeah, no, I enjoyed it. However, like, has anyone come back there

and popped off about how you can make it fucking better? That has not happened, although I would kind of welcome it actually, just simply so I could discuss it with other people about the outrage. I did do a play once. I will tell you, I did do a play once. My last time I was on stage, I did a play called Tally's Folly at the roundabout. And thank you for the applause. And the actress, and I'm going to say this, and I'm not going to ask you to cut this out because I don't fucking care. This actress came for the applause. And the actress, and I'm gonna say this, and I'm not gonna ask you to cut this out

because I don't fucking care. This actress came to the play. What's her fucking name? Her name is Trish Hawkins. Hi Trish. Hi Trisha. Hi Trish. Trish Hawkins came to this play. Am I gonna get sued?

I don't care, because I think this is outrageous. She came to the play. If it's true. And I proceeded, my mother brought her to the play. They were in some kind of like writing group together. And my mother thought it'd be great to bring Trish Hawkins to the play. I mean, this is a whole other conversation about my mom.

Hi, mom. But she came to the play, proceeded to say, she looked at me and sort of up and down, and then she went, "'Your dress is yellow, mine was pink.'" And I thought, what? What? She did the character before you.

Cut to two days later, I got an email that was six pages long of notes and a communication to me about what she had done when she had done the play. Oh my God. Jesus Christ. What she recommended I do. Oh my God. It was outrageous.

Oh my God. It was really outrageous. Trish Hawkins, I have not forgotten it and I hope to see you never. That's all I have to say. Do you still have the letter? I have it, I do have it. And did you talk to your mother and say please delete her numbers?

I didn't, I sort of just put it back in the file of things my mother has done. That's good though, you need to save that. Sarah, Sarah, can I just say, I need to say something. I need an interject, if you don't mind. Yeah, okay. I don't know you as well as these guys and I have a real feeling that you and I are gonna be

better friends than they could ever imagine. I love you for saying that so fucking much. Oh, yeah. The respect. No, you two would be inseparable. Sarah, I have all the time when people, and when they fucking deserve it. Now, by the way.

I'm like, this is the deal. You cannot come to, you wanna, if you're my dearest friend and we go have a cocktail or a little bread basket, Jason, or some air that we might eat, Jason, but post the show, some air, you might eat some air. Air is so tasty, sounds like Dr. Show, though, it's really wild how good it can be.

But if you are a person that I love and admire, and I say to you, tell me what you thought, really. And give me some, especially like early days previews or something, they're gonna be some real help. Okay, so here it is. So at the top of the show. But I would say this for Trish, I will say this for Trish, Sarah. We have, Sean, you're here.

Trish is here, by the way. Trish is over here. She's still in your guest house, right? Yeah, my mom will probably trot her out. Try to bring her to the next play. By the way, oh, Sarah, I also have a mom who says a lot of inappropriate stuff. I'm just like, mom, what are you doing? Well, we all do.

My mom also, my mom's gonna get so upset about this, but like, Cate Blanchett came to the play the same night that my mother came, same afternoon that my mother came, and Margot Martindale came also, and all these people I love, and I have long relationships with, and I've worked with Kate three times,

I've worked with Margo more than once. And I, of course, was really happy to see them, and I was, I'm not saying I wasn't happy to see my mom, but it was like, maybe the range was a little like, oh my God, Kate, oh my God, Margo, and it was like, hey mom. Hey mom. You know, it was like.

And she didn't like that? And I don't think she loved it, and I think her retribution is to just give me a little less than I would hope for. Yeah, no. Because I think I'm giving her, it's just gotta keep me a little, yeah. And she was like, I mean, I know we're supposed to go out,

I don't know why I'm making my mom sound like this grand dame of Fifth Avenue or something, she's really like the grand dame of Woodstock. She's like a tambourine playing I mean, I'm really sorry. I'm just disparaging you for my own comedy Interest but it's reality. It's my reality. I'm allowed to talk about my reality, right? Yeah I can't Hawkins my mom they belong to and poor Trish or Trish Trish used to love smartless She's every week. She loved it.

And I tell you what, she's about 25 million listeners per month. Trish is about to get the bombardment she never knew she had. She deserves, by the way. The one she deserves. She brought it on. She's a fucking persona non grata. I'll put that email on Instagram faster

than you can say Trish Hawkins. We're gonna put it in the chat. Oh, God. And we will be right back. SmartList is supported by Liquid IV. So guys, summer's coming, it's going to get hot, hot, hot. I know, just walking out the door, it's just getting hotter. So I always make sure I leave my house with a packet of Liquid IV wherever I'm going.

No matter what everyday summer activity you're up to, liquid IV is here to keep you extraordinarily hydrated. With three times the electrolytes of the leading sports drink plus eight vitamins and nutrients in a single stick, it's clear why liquid IV is the number one powdered hydration brand in America. One stick and 16 ounces of water hydrates better than water alone. Like for me, when I'm driving my car, I always leave one in my car with a bottle of water. And if I'm driving around for too long,

because I live in LA, so it's a lot of driving, and it gets too hot, I just pour one in there and drink it as I'm driving. It's like the best car ride drink ever. Turn your ordinary water into extraordinary hydration with Liquid IV. Get 20% off your first order of Liquid IV when you go to liquidiv.com

and use code SMARTLESS at checkout. That's 20% off your first order when Liquid IV when you go to liquidiv.com and use code SMARTLESS at checkout. That's 20% off your first order when you shop Better Hydration today using promo code SMARTLESS at liquidiv.com. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. I know we live in a time where there's a lot of divisiveness not only in our country but in the world. There's so many topics that are seemingly dividing us and it can weigh down on you a lot. A lot of people internalize all of that stuff. I know I do sometimes.

And we all carry around different stressors, big and small. When we keep them bottled up, it can start to affect us negatively. Therapy is a safe place and a safe space to get things off your chest and to figure out how to work through whatever's weighing you down. It's important to check in with yourself and listen to what your body and mind is telling you.

A therapist can help you recognize triggers or signs of burnout so you stay in touch with what you need. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. Get it off your chest with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash smartlis today to get 10% off your first month.

That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash smartlis. We're brought to you in part by ZipRecruiter. You may have heard the quote, "'Good things come to those who wait, but that's only part of the quote. The full quote is actually good things come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle. I love that. Well, if you're a business owner and want the best people on your team, the same applies.

Thankfully, ZipRecruiter puts the hustle in your hiring so you find qualified candidates fast. And now you can try it for free at ziprecruiter.com slash smartlis. As soon as you post your job, ZipRecruiter jumps into action and uses their matching technology to show you qualified people. They make it easy to find the right candidate. Let ZipRecruiter give you the hiring hustle you need. See why four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day.

Just go to ziprecruiter.com slash smartlis to try it for first day. Just go to ziprecruiter.com slash smartless to try it for free. Again, that's ziprecruiter.com slash smartless. ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire. All right, back to the show. Sarah Paulson, I want to talk about the fear of flying. You're my hero. Can I just say you're my hero? And you haven't even gotten into your shared fear of flying. Oh you have this too. Yeah yeah of course. Oh god so we're best friends. When's your birthday? Hate to be, not to be too Amanda Anka about it, but when's your birthday? Yeah so god we're even

better friends. May 4th. May 4th. May 4th yeah. Okay. Fourth of May. All right so it's coming up. What sign is that? I just want to know what your sign is. Taurus. Taurus. And what's your rising? Do we know what you're rising? What sign is that? I just wanna know what your sign is. Taurus, I mean Taurus. And what's your rising? Do we know what your rising is? What's your rising? Gemini.

Oh, yeah. What's your moon? I'm a Sagittarius with a Virgo rising and an Aquarius moon, so, you know, do with that what you will. And you believe in all that stuff. I don't. I mean, I don't know enough about it to.

I do kind of think it's a thing, but anyway, the fear of flying is very real for me. There's a lot of weeping that happens if there's a tiny pocket of, like. Really? You'll go right into, right into the weeping. The grabbing the stranger next to me. I know you guys haven't been on a commercial airplane

in a very long time, but if you do do. That's not true. I was on a falcon last week. Is that not He doesn't like the Falcons Falcons he thinks are beneath them The pilot planes are even scarier to me. I don't enjoy it I don't enjoy it

More room for us Sarah Sarah Sarah I want to talk so you yeah, here's here's my thing about pilots And I love hearing that you like to meet the pilot before what I do is I like to say the pilots What how we looking, right, for our journey, because what I don't enjoy is if you get on a flight and you have a bunch of turbulence and the pilot doesn't say, he doesn't come over. Correct, if it's the lack of communication,

I can't stand it. Just go, hey, we got some, it's run-of-the-mill turbulence, it's not a big deal, we're all good, we're blah, blah, blah. But you know, but Sarah, do you have this too, because I have a little bit of this too, the second you hear that, and right not a big deal, we're all good, we're blah, blah, blah, blah. Then I'm good. But Sarah, do you have this too? Because I have a little bit of this too. The second you hear that, and right before the pilot speaks, you're like, oh Jesus, what is this gonna be?

Just the thought of it makes me sweat. Like true. They should come on beforehand, right? We've got some bumps coming up. If they come on and they give you a lay of the land, which is why I like to talk to them, because I say the same thing, how are we looking? They often pull up the iPad with the root,

and they show me where the pockets of potential weather They show this is there on Delta United. I like it. I like Delta You know what it is, you know why cuz you know what it is this communicate This is a relationship and in the relationships really work with communication. So you need to have this communication You can't grow up Sean Sean, for a second, then take five, okay? Because Sarah and I are talking about relationships. Take a tight five.

You're back on a tight five. Sarah, why don't you invite... But wait a second, when's the last time you had a bunch of passengers stop by the cockpit and ask for... No, but Jason, when you walk on, the cockpit's open, it's right there. But if everybody stopped and asked to look at the iPad

for the routing... I'm not asking to look at the iPad, I'm asking how we're doing. And they often pull out the iPad as a way of saying, here's what we're doing. I ask them how the plane looks, who did the checkout, like who went around and checked out the plane. I wanna know how long they've been flying.

I wanna know. Do you ask for a little hint as to what chair the Marshal's sitting in just for fun? Sometimes I've done that. What if it's Sarah, what if you're like, how long have you been flying? It's some 20-year-old, he's like, I'm just flown for one week. Today's day one!

Well I want you to know that it's literally every single pilot joke that is made to me every time I ask him, like, oh, today's my first day. I'm like, not funny at all. Wish me luck, I just was lobotomized. Yeah, and sometimes there are, you know, the young co-pilot has fewer years and fewer hours. How about this, how about I don't like to meet the pilots

because if I meet the pilots, it becomes too human to me and I don't like to imagine the fact that a human being is even possible. This is more of a human than it does not fly. I like to think that there are super human, intelligent people up there that wouldn't even spend a minute with me. Like they're doing adult work up there.

He sits down, he sits in a seat and he plugs a type C plug into the side of his head and it goes into the side of the plane and then he just. Power down. He started speaking. Don't power down, Jason. Exchange information. Just like a software.

In five hours. So Sarah, are you also a type of gal likes to chat with the Uber driver? Nope, don't wanna talk to the Uber driver. You have that already clicked on your profile there, no cheating chats? Oh no, I did see that but I thought that was rude. To click on it to make a point of it?

To click on it to make it like a rule for them. I'd rather just let my behavior and my demeanor communicate. So if you got on the Uber and the guy started asking you a question, you would just stop him and say, check my profile, right? Well yeah, no exactly. Think about the kind of vibe you gotta kick out to him to get him to be quiet is more rude than him being pre-warned

that this person's not up for a conversation. I guess I think I feel really uncomfortable in general in a car where someone's driving. I have to chat senselessly just to make. What if there was a box for SmartList and you just checked it, I'd rather not chat today. So wait. If they tried talking to me, I was,

they always go, why won't you, and I just go, sorry man, my leprosy is flaring up. You know what I mean? And that gets them quiet. So I love this stuff, And I just go, sorry man, my leprosy is flaring up. You know what I mean? And that gets in quiet. So I love this stuff, because you're not only afraid of flying, but clowns, sharks, bees, and then you have,

what is it, trypophobia? I have that trypophobia thing where I can't, I don't actually know how it's pronounced, like Jason doesn't know about appropriate appropriate, but it's trypophobia, trypophobia, I don't know. But it's, it's like, so it's probably tryp, it's probably, no, it's not fear of tryptophan.

It's fear of holes, it's fear of like. Holes. So like if, holes. Like a group of holes, right? So like if you, like a grouping, a whole grouping. I've heard of this before. Like a natural sponge makes me like actually, I have to, or a coral reef, not interesting.

Wow, what about an English muffin? No, it's not. Those are nooks and crannies, those aren't holes. Those are nooks and crannies, those are nooks and crannies, Sean. Swiss cheese wrecks your night? No, because they're not close enough together, it's about when they're packed tight.

Right, so a loofah, no thank you. I don't like a loofah at all. So what's the reaction? It makes me, it makes my skin crawl and I have to like, I have to run away. And Ryan Murphy decided that this was so funny that he decided to make a season of American Horror Story about a character that I played who had this disorder.

So then I was constantly all day long having to look at these things and run from them, clowns as well and things. That sounds like bullying. That sounds like bullying. Exactly. Did that get you past your fears or did it make it worse? It just, it kept it at a steady place.

I'm not. It kept it on high. But the B thing, you know, I've never been, not to bring up my mother again, but my mom. That's what this is about. She locked me outside. She deserves it. to bring up my mother again, but my mom. You know, that's what this is about. She locked me outside. She deserves it. One day, my mother determined that the bees

should be something I should get comfortable with because obviously they do a lot for our planet, they're wonderful, they're great. I had never been stung when I was, yeah, exactly. Dirty hippie. And so I had not been stung at that point and I still at the ripe old age of 49 Have not been stung by a bee because I will drop a baby. I'm not kidding

I will I will drop a baby a tiny baby and fly to a bee. I'm not kidding I cannot be afraid of bees. I'm really you are not are you really? Oh, yeah, I really don't it's my kryptonite I'm allergic. Have you been stung though? I've been stung twice I think. Not allergic. I think I might be making it into something that is, or I'm actually deathly allergic and it's my, you know. No, mine's gotten less as I've gotten older. But the thing for me is that you can't feel them

when they land on you. And so the shock of the sting is just gonna come out of nowhere as opposed to, you know, if I'm in a fight with a bee and he gets better at me, then I'm not gonna be, you know, I'm gonna get stung. What if you had super tiny boxing gloves on and they did too and you're just like.

God, that's a great idea, Sean, you stupid fucking dick. This is a... You guys wanna hear my ultimate kink? My ultimate fantasy? I do. Uh oh, here we go. Oh boy. I'm getting stung by a bee while I'm sitting on a big sponge going through turbulence.

With clowns going through turbulence. With a clown pilot. With a clown for a pilot. How we look at it? Pretty good. Wee! Wee! Woop woop! He's a clown for a pilot. Yeah, you go up there and you go, how we looking? He goes, pretty good, whee, whee. Whee, whee, whee, whee, whee. Whoop, whoop, whoop. All right, Sean, start your fucking questions.

I got some. I got some. We're 40 minutes into this thing you haven't asked her a question yet. Yeah, and you still have one question that Michael Carey wrote for you. You've got nothing. You need to talk about clowns.

But I like this stuff more interesting because everybody knows who you are, everybody knows your work, and I wanna talk about that, but I wanna talk about your tattoos first because you have a lot of them, and I wanna know, I did not know this. You have a little freak on your hands, huh?

I like a lot of tattoos in all kinds of places. She's all tatted up. I got them tattooed everywhere. I was just saying yesterday, I was just saying, nothing says don't hire me like a neck tattoo Yeah, well she doesn't have them on the neck I have one on the back of my neck. Oh, yeah, it's the face forward It's the face tattoos and the neck tattoos is like and I'm sure there people like you look at like the comments like Neck tattoo saved my life, I don't care, but.

Yeah, neck tattoo saved my life. Believe me. But on your right forearm it says, I love this, this is Steven Sondheim lyrics. I know that Jason's gonna make fun of this. Okay, but I love it because I love this. Does it say I'm just a storyteller? No, but it's not, it's not not that.

You're safe. You wanna say what it is? You wanna say it to say I want to say it because I love it It's from it's from Sunday in the park with George right five six seven eight anything you do Anything you do let it come from you then it will be new Yeah, see Jason it. I love it. His mouth is a guy. Can I punch it up a little bit? Is it too late?

Well, he's dead, so he might have an opinion. No, it's not temporary. It's on the box. I like it. I really like it. Can I, you could add to it? You could do, and then. I could add to it,

but there was actually a line that I took out of it because I thought it was too pompous. What's that? What was it? Which was give them more to see as if I could do something like that. So how would the quote have been? It would have been anything you do,

let it come from you, then it will be new, give them more to see. This is a musical about George Surratt, the painter, Mandy Patinkin played, Bernadette Peters did, and it's basically her singing to him, it's from a song called Move On. Get out of your sort of, get out of your artistic rut.

That's nice. If you wanna sort of take away a little bit so it doesn't seem too pop is you could just put comma JK. You know what I mean? Could you imagine that? All right, let's get into Sarah Paulson and how you started and I want to know like Sarah, I'm so sorry about your decision to be with us. Yeah, yeah. Florida, right?

We're in Florida, Tampa, Florida. You were born. How old were you when you moved to Maine? Born in Tampa, Florida. We moved to Maine when I was in the, how old were you in the second grade? Seven. Seven. So I moved there in second grade.

But we moved to New York first. It was New York when I was five. And then Maine and then back to New York? And then Maine and then I went back to Florida and then back to New York where I moved a lot of places. My mom was a young mom. This is fascinating. Your mom worked at Sardis on Broadway,

which is right next to the Hayes Theater. That was her first job when she moved to New York. That's crazy, wow. Was working at Sardis. I mean, was she an actress as well? No, a writer. Oh wow. And she was a young mom?

21, she had me at 21 and my sister at 23. So you know, we can kind of forgive the Trish Hawkins situation because she just doesn't know what to do. Trish and your mom are just in the picture. And daddy, if you don't mind me asking, in the picture, out of the picture? No, in the picture, still in Florida.

Really? You know? Were they ever married? They were married. They were married very briefly. Divorced by the time I was two and my sister was 10 months old. Still could have been your fault though, sorry.

Yeah, definitely. If you were colicky or something like that. Yeah, he was like, God, this colicky baby, always wanted to sing these Annie songs. Wait, so Sarah, so tell me about that story about your mom singing. Telling me about the story. Telling me about the story. Telling me about the story.

About your mom seeing a psychic at some point and telling what, and saying what? I knew you were gonna say that. No, your mom, when you were a kid. My mom went to a psychic when some point and telling what? And saying what? I knew you were gonna say that. No, your mom, when you were a kid. My mom went to a psychic when she was, when I guess I was young, and she said something like, you know, your daughter's going to live a really non-traditional life.

And she's not gonna do things sort of by the book. And did she tell you that's what the psychic said? She told me that, but after I was older and fell in love with a woman, and then she was like, well, I had the psychic tell me that's what the psychic said? She told me that, but after I was older and fell in love with a woman and then she was like, well, I had the psychic tell me that this was gonna happen. Because to her that was sort of living a non-traditional life, which you know. Not the acting part.

Not anymore. Not the acting part, yeah, exactly. Not anymore. But you knew at such a young age, because you went to the fame school, fame. Wait, didn't Aniston, didn't Aniston? Aniston went there, yeah, she did. Were you guys in the same class?

No. No, she graduated a little Yeah, she did. Were you guys in the same class? No. No, she graduated a little bit before I did. Oh, snap. Oh, snap. We will cut that out. We will cut that out. Are you kidding? Cut it out. We're gonna fucking loop it

and we're gonna send it to Jen immediately. It's just, these are just the facts. This is not, you know, it's not a, I mean, nobody looks better than Jennifer Aniston. That's a fact. That is a fact. That is a fact. That is a fact. So wait Sarah, so your sister's a casting director, you're an actress, brothers and sisters?

I have another sister, my dad remarried, I have a half sister named Rachel. We don't know what she does. Okay but why? She actually teaches acting classes that she, I mean I'm literally. Is this true? We can cut the whole episode, okay Sarah? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Everybody's involved. So I moved to LA. There we go. And then my sister, so here's the truth, and everybody has this in a family, I think, to some degree. I mean, I don't know what your stories are, and frankly, I don't care, but I. Don't get me started.

My family's normal. But I'm just saying, I wanted to be an actress from the time I feel like when I was in utero. Like it feels like I came out of the womb wanting to do this. My siblings, I think, had more, I think less of a clear idea about what that particular passion was, and are probably better at a lot of things,

whereas I have one thing that I can do. Whereas my sister's great at math and all this other shit that I can't do. You know? But I mean, I don't think it's that strange, is it? Or maybe it is. Like, are all of your siblings, like? None, not one.

I have three other brothers and a sister. But did they all know what they wanted to be, whatever it was they wanted to do? Did they have that? Well, my sister kind of had a, yeah, my sister did a little bit. She knew she wanted to be a cop. But she was.

Are you kidding? Your sister's a cop? Yeah, she was a cop. And she is a cop. Yeah, well, she was, not anymore. She'll kick your ass. She knew she wanted to be a cop. She was. Are you kidding? Your sister's a cop? Yeah, she was a cop. Well, she was. Not anymore. She'll kick your ass. She was. By the way, Sean's sister, yesterday, I got a... I want to say this to Tracy. Tracy lives in Wisconsin.

Tracy, listen up. A beautiful red... Beautiful red golf shirt. ... Wisconsin Badgers golf shirt. Which was very generous and very... And with a beautiful note that was so nice. She's a very nice person, Sean. I don't know why she deserves what you're saying

behind the scenes always. She's great, she loves you guys. You've got her wrong. You have her wrong. Tracy is a wonderful person. Anyway, thank you Tracy. You should give her another shot, Sean. Yeah. So, and by the way, Sarah, do you play golf? If you play golf wonderful person. Thank you, Tracy. You should give her another shot, Sean.

So, and by the way, Sarah, do you play golf? If you play golf, my sister sent you a shirt. I don't, I don't play golf. Okay, great, moving on. I still want the shirt, is that bad? Yeah, no, that's okay. I still want it. I sleep in it.

Okay, great. And now, a word from our sponsor. Hey, smart list listener, we're supported by Mint Mobile. My favorite spring cleaning takeaway is the post-clean clarity you get, right? Wow, how have I been living like this? It's kind of like when you find out that you've been paying a fortune for wireless when Mint Mobile has phone plans for 15 bucks a month when you purchase a three-month plan. Wow, how have I been affording this?

It's time to switch to Mint Mobile and get unlimited talk, text, and data for $15 a month. Say bye-bye to your overpriced wireless plans, jaw-dropping monthly bills, and expected overages. Use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all your existing contacts. To get this new customer offer and your new 3-month unlimited wireless plan for just $15 a month, go to MintMobile.com slash SmartList. That's MintMobile.com slash SmartList. Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at MintMobile.com slash SmartL. Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month

at mintmobile.com slash smartless. $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details. We get support from State Farm. When you get a new car or a new home,

your first reaction might be, I can't believe it, or boo-yah. But what you really want to say is the one thing that can get you the help you need. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. State Farm is there with the coverage you need for your car, your home, and even boats, motorcycles, RVs, and other things that matter to you. With a State Farm agent, you know someone is there to help you choose the coverage you need. With so many coverage options, it feels good knowing you can find what fits for you. And when you need ways to get help, State Farm gives you options there too. In person or on the phone with your local agent or on statefarm.com or their award-winning app,

State Farm lets you do things your way. So when you need help protecting the things that matter most, remember to say, like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. SmartList is brought to you in part by Audible. Remember to say, like a good wellness, business, and more. Audible is your destination for thrilling audio entertainment with highly anticipated new releases and next-listen recommendations for every type of thriller listener. As an Audible member, you can choose one title a month to keep from the entire catalog,

including the latest bestsellers and new releases. So I love thrillers, I love thriller movies, and once I found out Audible does thrillers too, I was so excited. So I checked out Thriller, actually, by Heather Graham. And what begins as a simple dog-sitting job for a friend soon becomes the most terrifying night of Riley Jordan's life.

Riley Jordan is the lead character in the book. It's really, really good, it's a great listen. And by the way, the title is inspired by the song of Michael Jackson, which I thought was interesting, but a totally different story, of course. Check it out if you can. New members can try Audible free for 30 days.

Visit audible.com slash smartlist or text smart list to 500 500. That's audible.com slash smart list or text smart list to 500 500 to try audible free for 30 days audible.com slash smart list. And now back to the show. So wait, I want to know about Holland, the love of your life. Well, it's wedged just north of Belgium, just south of Denmark, considered part of the Benelux countries. I want to know the fun story because I know a little bit

of it, but you were at a dinner party and you hoped she wouldn't be sat next to you or something. And then what happened? Yeah, you know, she, I went to know the fun story because I know a little bit of it, but you were at a dinner party and you hoped she wouldn't be sat next to you or something and then what happened? Yeah, you know, she, I went to this dinner party that a friend of mine hosted where it was really kind of for Buck Henry who was there and it was a wild night. And I was at this dinner, it was a long, long table and there was one empty seat and Holland Taylor comes sort of, you know, bustling in and her hair just like throwing her hair back and just, oh God, sorry I'm late,

which, you know, late people, when they're really that late, it does end up making it sort of all about them when they arrive, you know? So she was really doing a like, kind of grand, oh, I'm so sorry I'm late at all. We all, and I looked up and I thought, that is really a very beautiful person. And I found her to be intimidating.

She's really smart and has a kind of formidable presence. And she's incredibly talented. And I was young at the time, guys. I was 35, 36. Wow. And she sat down next to me and I thought, oh God. And then, you know, we just chatted a little while and then really never saw each other again except for on the back lot where I was doing Studio 60 at Warner Brothers and she

was shooting Two and a Half Men. And she rolled her window down and said, hey blondie, do you need a ride? That's what she said to me. Wow. Right. And I was like, oh no. I'm okay. I can walk to stage 19 myself.

And we never saw each other again. And then we ended up doing a little PSA for Martha Plimpton's abortion. This is not going well, guys. This is not going well. By the way, I know this is the story about how you and Holland got together, but for me, it's the details of it are the fucking meat.

They're really the meat of it. Because the Buck Henry dinner and the Martha Plimpton abortion fucking... This is like the fucking Olympics for me. This is incredible. She has an organization called A is 4, which is an abortion reproductive rights organization, and she asked us to do this PSA. So, Holland and I happened to arrive on the same day. Holland was getting ready to come to New York to do her production of Anne, which she wrote,

that was gonna be done at Lincoln Center about Governor Anne Richards. It was a one-on-one show. That was the prequel to Annie, is it not? Yeah, well, that was probably Annie, like when Annie is finally a grown-up. She grows up. Grows up to be Governor Texas.

It's a sequel. It was a really hard-knock life before that. Yeah, exactly, hard-knock life. Yeah, and we saw each other there, and then we followed each other on Twitter, and I literally DM'd her when I was shooting in New Orleans. Yeah, I slid into Holland Taylor's DMs. Wow.

Wow, look at that. And then I sent a picture of her to a friend of mine and I was like, can I date a 70 year old woman? Right. And my friend was like, absolutely not. And I'm just kidding, she was like, yes you can. She was like, fuck no, are you insane? And I was like, I think I'm gonna do it.

I think I'm gonna fucking do it, why not? And so I did. And you guys have now been together for? And then the rest is history, almost 10 years. Not over nine years. That's so awesome. That's amazing. That's so cool. That's what you say, 19 years?

No, nine years. I'm 66. Okay, I don't know. I'm not paying attention. And she's 110. She's 110. She was born. I love being around you guys too.

You can just tell how comfy you guys are with each other. That it's one plus one making three. It's just that you're both individuals, but you got the overlap. I mean, it's just perfect. Yeah, we don't live together. That's the sort of secret to it. You know, Sean's married to a man.

I do know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure is. They don't sleep together either. No, we don't. Well, I, Holland and I, we spend plenty of time together, but we don't live in the same house. Now talk to me a little bit about that.

Are you serious? Because I'm not, tell me about that a little bit about that. Are you serious? Yeah. Tell me about that a little bit. And again, okay, this is, I'm divulging too much, but I said to Alessandra recently, who also, you like her tattoo, she has a lot of great tattoos. Yeah, on her neck, right?

No, no, on her neck. On her arms, really cool. She does have one on the back of her neck. And I said to her recently, we started talking about the idea of separate beds. Geez, yeah, great. Which is, and somebody wrote this, not in the same room, somebody wrote this thing,

she sent it to, she sent me this article because I kind of joked about it. Because sleep is so important, we're big sleepers, we're 915 and betters. And so, yeah, yeah. And that's why I am 65, and that's why I look so incredible. That's why I look so, in case you confused. And I'm taking the words out of your,

I feel like I'm cutting you off. No, you're venting. No, she didn't say how great you look. Okay, okay. But, sleep in hookers. Keeps you young. No, but we started talking about this idea, and so then we made a joke, and we're not gonna do it,

but this joke about living separately, living in another house, there is a certain wisdom to it on some levels, right? I mean, we've been together for a long time now and I think part of it has to do with we're together when we wanna be and we're not when we don't. Yeah, but couldn't you, but instead of, just challenging it, instead of living in separate dwellings, what about just living together,

but then sleeping in separate rooms? No, because my favorite thing to do, we fall asleep holding hands, Holland and I. We sleep holding hands. We're very, I like to sleep near her. I don't want to be around her the rest of the time. Just kidding. Sure, it's the daylight hours.

It's the daylight hours where I'm like, you can go. No, I mean, I think we both, Holland, before me, had not been in a ton of long-term relationships, whereas Holland is my sort of third, more than five-year relationship. So I tend to do that and have more experience doing that Holland has it. And so her life and to get to be her age and sort

of not having really cohabitated with someone for a long time I think it was a lot to sort of all of a sudden have me and all my meanness in her space. But if you live separate days you've got something to talk about right? Where in Canada are you from? If you live separate days. Separate days? I think that, you know, like I spend a bunch of time away, as you guys do as well, when you're working, and it's kind of, it's nice to be able to fill your partner in on that which they have not experienced with you.

It gives you something to fucking talk about. I thought you were gonna go somewhere else with that, but yeah. Honestly, it's one of my favorite things is to come home after a long time and fill my partner in. I was gonna make the same joke, and I just want you to know that that was the joke I was gonna make.

I knew you were. And I appreciate you will, and I appreciate that I'm not the only one with the mind. Of course not. The size of a tiny pea. Now, what I, 11 year old. Now, Sean, I will recommend to you

something that Amanda and I do, is that we do share the same, Say suicide. We do share the same bed, but we have two different duvets. Therefore, when she rolls over or I roll over, there's not a duvet drag that wakes up the other person. That's great.

But Jay, my thing is snoring. Do you snore or Scottie snores? He could bring down a building. Right. And I... Do what Amanda does, you just slide your hand underneath the shoulder just a little bit, create a little bit of a wedge and they roll over. You get that guy on his stomach and he's not going to snore.

What about earplugs? Nobody gets a guy on his stomach like JB. You know what? The snoring is a real thing. And does Scotty have a CPAP machine? Does he sleep with one of those? No, he's going to get it like the newest, the greatest latest. He's going to try it. But he also has what we call the pot of life on his arm because of diabetes.

What's that? Oh, the diabetes. So what, that means he can't roll over? Well, then he's like lying, it's on his shoulder. So then he's like lying on his arm. Hey, do they not have lemon laws in California? What's going on? You still got the receipt on that guy, right?

Fuck man! That's really funny. Anything else on the list, Sean? Anything else on my career? Well, let me check in with Will. Will, can I move on to the career or no? Hey, wait. Sarah's not done alienating more people in her personal life. You've got a minute, 20 seconds left to ask a fucking question. Wait, no, what time did we start?

No, we're just getting started with Sarah. This is, I'm here all day, right? Like I've got a ration of food here. I've got a, yeah. We bought a double book. If you're not, if this interview's over, I'm FaceTiming you, because this cannot end. Wait, I want to know, like,

I was going to go through all your stage stuff, like you did the glass menagerie opposite Jessica Lange. You were in a show with Jessica Lange, that's so amazing. And did Ryan Murphy see that, and that's how he cast you in American Horror Story, or did he see you in something else? Yeah, what's going on with you and Ryan? What kind of stuff do you have on him,

and will we ever see? I got nothing on Ryan. Ryan's an open book, man. Everything I got on Ryan, you know about Ryan, you know? You know I've never met him. I'd like to meet him. You've never met him? No, never. I don't think I have either. I met him maybe decades ago.

You're keeping him all to yourself. Why don't you share him with us for Christ's sake? I share him, but I love him. He's, you know, he's been very, very good to me. Like the first person in my working life, I felt who really saw me, you know? Like he continued to say, I'm not, I don't know why I always use sports analogies

when I don't watch any sports, but he continually threw me the ball, just always, and thought I could do things I didn't even know I could do. And so for me, he's just an absolute hero hero in my life both as a friend and a professional. And so you really felt seen? I really felt seen, Will. Yeah. Did you feel?

But then like Nicole Wallace in Game Change. Yeah. She was about to make it. Fucking phenomenal. Absolutely incredible in that. Wait, Nicole Wallace? I played Nicole Wallace. The four Nicole Wallace like was the MSNBC, you know. She's my hero. Yeah, Nicole Wallace? I played Nicole Wallace, before Nicole Wallace was the MSNBC. Yeah, she's my hero. Yeah, I played her in Game Changers.

You gotta see Sarah play her. She's, unbelievable performance, incredible. What is it? It was when Julianne Moore played Sarah Palin. This was that HBO thing where Ed Harris played McCain and Julianne Moore played Sarah Palin. You literally played Nicole Wallace. I did.

No way, did you ever meet her? Oh yeah, oh yeah. Oh, yeah No way. I'm such a big fan of hers. I watch her every single day Yeah, it was a very very traumatic thing that happened. I mean you should watch them that you should watch Sean's right You should watch it's amazing. What's it called game change? Okay He was really traumatized by the whole thing the Sarah Palin thing. It was really yeah. Yeah So much so that she didn't vote for her own candidate. She didn't vote for John She was really traumatized by the whole thing, the Sarah Palin thing. It was really... Yeah, I'll bet. Yeah.

So much so that she didn't vote for her own candidate. She didn't vote for John. She couldn't vote because of it. Wow. It was really wild. And then when you played Marcia Clark, phenomenal in the O.J. Simpson thing. You know, actually, I've got a couple of notes on that one.

You got a couple of notes, you got a couple of notes on that. Yeah, are you guys locked on that? Because if so, I won't give you the notes. Okay, you should probably not, because it's already here. No, you are, I don't, I don't, I think I can safely say you've never sucked.

Ever, yeah. Never been bad, yeah. I got a couple of things in my closet that I think you'd be like, this wasn't the- Probably on three quarter inch tape, right? Yes. Not even in the days of-

VHS, VHS. Fucking guys, can I just get a little bit of credit? You gotta go? No, I didn't jump in when I was teed up with sucked in in the closet and I didn't say a fucking thing. Yeah, you didn't do it. I didn't either. I didn't say a fucking, I didn't sat here

like a good fucking student. Cheap gay joke, you know? But you were refrained. No, I didn't say anything. Sarah, I read that after the OJ thing, Marcia Clark, you couldn't watch yourself anymore. Is that true and why? Yeah.

What? Yeah, I can't watch myself now. Well, I actually decided to, I think for me the Marcia Clark thing was the first time I had done anything where I felt so much connectivity to Marcia the person and so much, it Marsha the person, and so much, it just was the first time there felt like a real creepy actressy kind of melding

of like almost like a visitation where you've been sort of embodied by a person you don't know, I mean, how it happened. I'm waiting for your joke, Will, about being embodied by, you don't got one? Okay. He's writing it. He's slow.

He'll get there, he'll get there. That's okay. It's just an opportunity missed, it's not a big deal. But it was the most connected I ever felt to anything I'd ever done professionally and I thought if I watched this, and also it was in conjunction with the most celebrated I had ever been about my work.

And so I think I thought if I watch this and everybody thinks it's great and I hate it, I'm gonna sort of ruin my experience that I'm having that has never happened to me before, of feeling really, you know. You know what I mean? Like I just thought I'm gonna go in there with my hypercritical way and tear this apart

and that would be a shame, because this is the first time I feel like anyone's giving a shit about my work or what I'm doing, and so I thought I should try to enjoy it. And then I just kept it, yeah. You should check it out, it's pretty fantastic. All of it. And you should also remember that nobody's gonna be

more critical about your work than Trisha. Trisha Hawkins, I'm surprised I haven't gotten an email from her. If everything that's ever come out, I'm just shocked. So is that still your policy, is to not watch your work? Yes, except for when I have been EP-ing things, I do watch it, but I try to watch it in a kind of, a way where, you know, cause I'm giving notes.

Well, you're depriving yourself of incredible performances, but that's just me. I have one last thing and then we're all gonna let you go. So Nicole Wallace, Marcia Clark, and then Linda Tripp, crazy transformation, incredible, look, Clark, and then Linda Tripp. Crazy transformation, incredible. You completely disappeared as Linda Tripp. That was, and so are you. I'm watching your career from outside going,

oh, she's so phenomenal at playing as a character actress. Is that your go-to comfort zone? I feel like the vanity component of this industry, particularly for women, but for all of us, like I feel so hyper-focused on this shit, the face and the body and the hair and the weight and the thing and the wrinkles and all this shit, that I definitely feel a kind of freedom

when I can hide behind these other things, whether it's Marcia's wig or Linda's, the prosthetics to play Linda. I can hide. It's a way of hiding that I think ultimately. She died. She did die, she died right before we started. No way. Really?

Yeah. Wow. Wait, Sarah, before we go, I just wanna know, because you're a creature of the theater like I am, super fast, funny, tragic theater story, anything happen either in this play or another one? Funny or tragic theater story? I mean, I don't know if there's a more tragic story

than getting notes from an actress who played a play 30 years ago, but funny that something happened the other. Well, two things happened recently, which is in the play, which you guys saw, we can discuss this later. In the first act of the play, I am having an argument with the black sheep of the family played by Michael Esper.

The great Michael Esper. The great Michael Esper, who I think you were. He's incredible, and he's a great chorus doll. And I leave the room in a big huff, and I'm very upset, and I've just blown up and screamed at everybody. And I leave the stage, I slam the door, and his line is, what happened to her?

And someone from the balcony went, you. No. No. Oh, it's a balcony for you. People forget it's a place. And then the other thing that happened that was kind of cool the other day, which is I'd never experienced that,

and I don't know if you ever have either, Sean, but we had an actress get sick in Act One and then the understudy went on for Act Two. That's never happened, but I've always wondered about that. It was like Days of Our Lives or something where someone was decapitated in season four and in season 10study went on for Act Two. That's never happened, but I've always wondered about that. It was like Days of Our Lives or something where like someone was decapitated in Season Four and in Season Ten they came out with a different case. Did you have to make an announcement or you just did it?

Yeah. Yeah, they make an announcement and everyone just clapped and there's something very special about the theater where like people are willing to believe anything you do up there as long as you kind of commit to that world. And you like a good pilot, let them know what the fuck is going on. Not to bring it full circle for you guys, but I gotta say.

That is incredible. It's a relationship between you and the audience. It's a relationship. It's a relationship. You gotta communicate. It's the key to everything, you guys. Listen, lady, early congratulations on your Tony Award. Yes, exactly.

Incredible performance. We love you and thank you for even showing up today. I love you guys. Will, I just met you, but you're my favorite. I feel the same. Well, that's all the time we have. What a delight, Sarah. I've never been so delighted in my life.

Oh my God, thank you. And I really do want you to, also at the Tabasco Theater, Sean, you live on there. I think, have I told you this? First of all, your poster is down in the room. Did you talk about this on the show at all? About the elephant, the room under? The elephant room.

The elephant room under the Tabasco Theater. Did you talk about this? Am I boring? Everybody's already talked about it. You say it. But there is, I mean, it's really cool. They call it the elephant room because Houdini, right, used to have this massive room underneath the stage

that could hold an elephant. So part of his magic trick. Because he was going to do a big trick where he was gonna disappear an elephant. Yes, where he raises the elephant from the thing. So they call it the elephant room. Yeah, and so that's down there and there's a big poster of Sean down there.

So you're calling me an elephant. Well I'm just saying, like there are a lot of posters that are not down there. There's two posters down there and yours is one of them. And also every night when I walk backstage to get to my entrance, there is a cork board on the right hand side that the prop guys have up

and it just says Oscar Levant on it. And it's so cool. So I sort of think about you every day when I'm there. I love that, honey, that's very sweet, thank you. And I'm so glad you're there and I'm so glad we saw it and I can't wait to root you on. You're really great. I really appreciate it, you wrote me a lovely text.

I didn't hear from you, Jason, but I'm confident I will. Oh, check your spam, no one's in there. I'm confident I will hear from you, Will, when you come backstage or when you don't and then yeah I just had another terrible one. I saw your I want it Please give it get it out and it's fucking killing me And I said that who did he was gonna do that he was gonna do the trick with the elephant It was too long, so they asked him to

Fuck you guys fuck you Strangely I have to go I mean I just have to go now you gotta rest your voice. I got we love you Thank you guys Goodbye, that was great Thank you guys. Bye honey. Bye. Goodbye. That was great.

That'll start your week. Happy Monday everybody. You have great Sarah Paulson to give you a nice little jolt of love and energy. She is the best. She's something else. She's funny. And by the way, and everything she's done,

like you said, Jay, she doesn't, I know we say it a lot about a lot of people, but never terrible. Never terrible. She's one of those people who's always good no matter what she does. Yeah, she's so great. No matter what she's in.

She's also just like, just to be around is, as you can see, it just makes your day, makes your night. And you put her and Amanda Pete together, a couple of best friends there, you know, you're just, you're flying for a week. Are they old school best friends? She and Amanda Pete. Yeah, it's like, you watch them, it's like a ticket to a free show.

They just go, go, go, and it's fun and engaging and charming and yeah, it's great. Well, I know, I said it already to her, but I'm really excited about her and the award shows coming up for her in New York. I think she's gonna kill it and I'm so glad she was here. Oh, are you waiting for her vibe? Oh, sorry.

No, no, no, I didn't know. Cause you were just, no, I was just serious. You take the initiative, you've got a head full of steam going towards the vibe. And then it was just a fucking, and then it was just an absolute peer out. Yeah, I know. Just a fucking.

Oh, is there an elephant one? No, no, no, no. It was like. No, no, no, no. Let's see. Let's see. Oh, let's see. Let's see, yeah. So we see. Oh, let's see.

Let's see. So we think the Tonys, Trish, and then that one. Let's see Trish. Monica Lewinsky. Nothing about the elephant, right? How about movies versus theater? Ryan Murphy. Well, she's on New York.

She's in New York. She's also in Los Angeles often, so maybe she's buying coastal, we could use buying coastal. Oh, yeah, we've done it a few times. We've done coastal quite a bit. We've done it a few times. We've done Biden, we've done a Biden, yeah. We did, we did. Take a bite from the apple in New York.

Okay, go ahead. Yeah. Sean. Hey. So what's up? Hey, Sean. Hey. So what's up? Hey, Sean. Hey. You know, the theater, the Tabasco theater that she's in is actually...

It's actually the Belasco. Yeah, the Belasco, sorry. The Belasco Theater she's actually in. Isn't one of those big theaters like where you... No? Yeah, you can see everything in close. You don't need to sit in the back with one of those opera, you know, things. Those, you know, where they use it to see real far in the theater? You can pull up, like, um, binoculars.

Wow, Will's really blowing up. Smart. Less. Smart. Less. Smart. SmartLess is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by Michael Grant Terry, Rob Armjarve, and Bennett Barbico. If you like SmartLess, you can listen early and ad free right now by joining Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple podcasts.

Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. I'm Shimon Liayi, and I have a new podcast called The Competition. Every year, 50 high school senior girls compete in a massive scholarship competition. I wouldn't say I have an ego problem, but I'm extremely competitive. All of the competitors are used to being the best and the brightest, and they're all vying for a huge cash prize. This will probably be the most intense thing you've ever gone through in your life.

I remember that feeling, because I was one of them. I lost. But now I'm coming back as a judge, and also a kind of teen girl anthropologist. Because if you want to understand what it's like to be a young woman in America today, the competition's not a bad place to start. Hopefully no one will die on stage tonight. From Pineapple Street Studios and Wondry, this is The Competition. Follow The Competition on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts.

You can listen to The Competition early and ad free right now by joining Wondry+.