SmartLess - "Steve Martin & Martin Short"

Episode Date: May 6, 2024

Double the power, double the math; for our 200th episode, it’s double-trouble with Steve Martin and Martin Short. The talk-show anecdote, the best use of a time-machine, and have you ever h...eard of the word “combo?” Here come the smiles… on an all-new SmartLess.See Privacy Policy at and California Privacy Notice at

Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, did you guys know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? Is that correct? Yeah, they die late. That's incredible. You know the last thing to go through a bug's mind before he hits your windshield? What? His asshole. Welcome to Smartless.
Starting point is 00:00:25 Smart. Less. Smart. Less. Smart. Less. So Will, you have expressed that you're not in a great mood today. It is surprising because it is our 200th, so it is cause for celebration.
Starting point is 00:00:53 I had sing you both happy birthday, but it's not a birthday, really. It's just a 200th celebration. I thought it is 200th celebration. You know what? It's a great day for us, and I got to remember remember I had a bit of an okay start and then you have grumpy moments And I just remember this thing of it, which is like Just cuz you have a grumpy start doesn't mean you can't have a great finish. That's right But we don't we don't need a bumper sticker or anything
Starting point is 00:01:18 Okay, what about you just tell us what the problem is and then we'll do you look like your current. Your current look with your beanies and your beard look like you've got a million bumper stickers and a lot of them say co-exist with different shit on the back of your fucking outback. Does my beanie and my beard put you in a deeper bad mood in my Sally Jessy Raphael glasses? You know why? Because it puts you deeper into Vermont, okay, for me. No, it looks like you're from Seattle. Oh, God, if you could smell my patchouli right now Willie well, yeah. Yeah, tell us what happened. No nothing nothing. I'm just just it's just so much it's just been a lot of admin and admin stuff gets me pissed and and because
Starting point is 00:01:59 domestic administration No, not domestic just work admin and I have a certain way I like doing things. And then when people fuck it up, I'm like, my patience for stuff is like, I go, whew, fucking, what, you've just, things got more, why didn't stuff just go the way, if you let me, my, I thought. This is relatable complaints about having too much work. Is that what it is? Getting a lot of sympathy from the. My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my,
Starting point is 00:02:30 my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, get inside your head. I'll walk into a room and I'll go, I don't know why she said that. And Scotty goes, you have to catch me way up. Like that's the first thing I'll say. Because I'm so far ahead in my brain. And you just assume that everybody's in your brain. And everybody's frustrated as you are.
Starting point is 00:02:55 All caught up. Can't they just read your mind? That's right. Anyway, this is wonderful. It is, it's a great, what is this? Yeah, this is supposed to be a day of celebration. Can you believe we've been 200 of these? Yes! 200 episodes!
Starting point is 00:03:05 I can't believe it. 200 episodes. It's hard, it's amazing. Does that mean that it's been 200 weeks since we debuted? Kind of. Is it clean math like that? I think it's a pretty clean math, once a week, yeah. Does it feel like it's been 200?
Starting point is 00:03:18 It does not. It does not, it feels like we've been doing it two weeks. Feels like two, okay, yeah, two weeks, sorry. 2000, sorry. 2000, sorry. 2000, sorry. So the math is tough for me, but it does that sort of correlates to what, four years? Well if it's one a week, right?
Starting point is 00:03:31 Yeah. That's 52 a year. And we've done 200, right? Yeah, it's four years. It's 200 weeks, right? Yeah. Do you want me to keep saying right? Is that not four years?
Starting point is 00:03:39 Well 208, 208, right? Would it be four years? So in two more months it'll be four years. So in two more months, it'll be four years. So like, we're less than smart. No, because 52 times four is 90, what? No. Oh no. You're really getting stumped on this.
Starting point is 00:03:57 Wait, what's 52 times four? Oh my God. Eight, five times four. What have I done, what have I done? Yeah, it's 208, man! Yeah, yeah. So we're not there yet, but soon it'll be four years. So not four years, but we're 200.
Starting point is 00:04:10 Anyway, who cares? Sorry, just real quick sidebar. With you spending so much time away from home, you must be really building up a little stockpile of crusty socks, am I right? Oh yeah, no, I've got them all standing up. I've turned them into little side tables. Sure.
Starting point is 00:04:29 Yeah, it's quite a collection. You sure? Of socks. By the way, have we already discussed, we don't need to get too blue, but I didn't know what the sock, I didn't know about the sock method until, I mean I'm 54 years old, I didn't know about it till like two years ago.
Starting point is 00:04:48 Okay. But that you use a sock instead of Kleenex or something? Yeah, it's just genius. It's just, I can't agree with you. Wait, I didn't know which way you were going with that. I know. Honestly, Sean, didn't you think that? I thought he was about to go,
Starting point is 00:05:01 it's just disgusting knowing that. No, no, I wish I could go back in time. You can toss it in the wash, right? Oh, I would have saved so much. I mean, I guess for you, this is your answer too, if you could turn back time, right? If I could turn back time, my masturbation technique would just be so fantastic. What a bird of a 200-sheet use. I was watching Oprah decades ago,
Starting point is 00:05:25 and they did this piece. Did she cover this? She did, no, no, she didn't. And she did this piece on this college kid, and they took her whole crew there, and they went inside the college kid's dorm, and with no irony or joking around, they were interviewing this kid,
Starting point is 00:05:41 and his roommates were like, yeah, and he's got this and this, and look, and they opened up his side drawer right next to his pillow and there was tons of Kleenex in there. No. Used Kleenex. And they go, and the guy goes,
Starting point is 00:05:52 yeah, he gets sick all the time. He gets like sick. Sure, he's always sick every night. And I was like sitting at home going, they actually believe that this kid gets sick. Oh, bless it. Well, he does, he doesn't get, but his dick bar sick. Oh, bless it. Well, he does. He doesn't get, but his dick barfs.
Starting point is 00:06:07 Hey, now Will. That's an old school. Shawnee, what's your mood like today on our 200? I'm better now, by the way. I feel much better now that I'm subject to the sun. You should see a little sunshine from your buddies. I know, it's true. I'm good, I'm getting my teeth cleaned later today.
Starting point is 00:06:21 So I need to clean. You're getting your teeth cleaned? So that's a joyous day for you? It is, I like getting my teeth cleaned. So what happens, you just FedEx him off and then they return him a couple days later? How does that work? You just click those out and put in the weekday set?
Starting point is 00:06:33 You just have it, do they come to your house or is there a box, a drop box near you? I'm waking up, I forgot to put them back in. Oh yeah, make sure to get your speech impediment. You don't need to put those in, just for an hour, keep them out. No, I gotta leave them in all the time. Abel was late getting in the car.
Starting point is 00:06:47 This is this morning. I can't, teenagers, it was part of the thing. And I got into this thing because the kids, I wake them up and then they're like, and then I'm like, we gotta go. And I know we have a recorder. I can't drive to the valet. I love the way they fall back asleep.
Starting point is 00:06:58 It's like, hey, great. And I'm like, what are you doing? You're gonna be late for school. You're gonna be late for school. And I'm not in an Uber's expense. I'm trying to like make them feel bad. And I'm like, you gotta get going. Abel goes inside and I'm like, what's going on?
Starting point is 00:07:08 I'm like backing out. He comes around and I go, what did he say? I had to get my rubber bands. He's got the Invisalign, it's like you're shining. I had to get my rubber bands because I got my new rubber bands. And I was like, oh my God, what is happening? Are they dealing with the wax too?
Starting point is 00:07:24 They gotta put the wax over the hot spots? Archie has to do, cause Archie has the old school ones and then Abe's got the Invisalign, they get to choose. Well yeah, mine's not called, mine's the same thing, but they put those permanent things on the back of your teeth. Those little posts. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:39 So is headgear no longer a thing? Is this the new headgear? It can be. I'll still wear it. It's still a thing, yeah. You have headgear as well? Oh no, that's for a different thing. He's thinking of a different headgear? It can be. I'll still wear it. It's still a thing, yeah. You have headgear as well? Oh no, that's for a different thing. He's thinking of a different headgear, sorry.
Starting point is 00:07:48 It's more like a ball that's attached to it. Sean, I don't want to speak for you. No, no, no, you got it. That's right, that's right. Is there a harness at all involved in this? But it's fun. It's fun, on the outside it says Chicago Cubs. Like he tries to make it kind of homey.
Starting point is 00:08:04 I heart the Cubs. Okay, tries to make it kind of homey. I heart the Cubs. Okay, it's enough because we got fancy guests. Let's go, let's go. So let's tighten it up. It's, you know, I figured since it was the 200th episode and just happened to be my turn for a guest, I figured, you know, if it's 200, we need two guests. Right? It's not 100, it's 200.
Starting point is 00:08:26 Double the power here. Wait, we had to give Sean more math. You're killing it. What's 100 times two? And it's not just two guests. It is a duo. This is a duo that... Cap'n and Neil.
Starting point is 00:08:43 Well, very close. And it's not Sonny and Cher either. But we're getting closer. And they're so fancy and they're so accomplished. There's so many awards, there's so many credits, there's so many things that I didn't even, this is the first guest I've not written an intro for. Because it just would be too long.
Starting point is 00:09:05 Longer than this bullshit. So here they come. Guys, Steve Martin and Martin Short. Shut the fuck up. Hey! Hey! Right? Now, what's the music like now, Willie?
Starting point is 00:09:20 It's a little bit better. Here come the smiles. It's a little bit better. This is wonderful. Steve, hi everyone. It's a little bit better. It's a little bit better. This is wonderful. Steve, hi everyone. Hi. It's too much. First of all, I have to just jump in. You gotta go?
Starting point is 00:09:34 And say, yeah, I gotta go. I gotta jump in and say how great it was to hear you guys try to figure out what 200 was. And the closest thing... It is four times 50, right? The closest thing I can come up with is that you think 200 is 208, and I'm thinking that you ought to contact NASA and give them this new information.
Starting point is 00:09:58 Well, you know, we're not trying to trick anyone to think that we're smart. We put it right there in the title. We're smart-less. Which makes me think, how come we're all the less- smart, we put it right there in the title. We're smart less. Which makes me think, how come all the- Oh, I get it. Less is smart. Oh, fuck, oh Marty finally gets it.
Starting point is 00:10:12 But you know- And by the way, four times 52 is like a 85. It's 80, it's in the eighties. Okay, okay. But you know, it struck me with all the brilliant titles you guys have had, have you ever thought about doing Steve Martin Short? It's, and I don't mean this negatively.
Starting point is 00:10:32 This is gonna hurt. No, it's not gonna hurt. It's so obvious. Right. It's like, we've been reviewed that way so many times that we expect more from our audience. Every day I get an email, hey, what about Steve Martin Short? And then I'd see it on any Twitter thing I'm on.
Starting point is 00:10:53 What about that? Marty should know that it's so obvious it's also Jason's title of his memoir. So that's why it was taken. No, we've had many different titles. One of my favorite was Two for the Price of Three. Depending on your seat. But what about these titles?
Starting point is 00:11:15 An Evening You Will Forget for the Rest of Your Life, genius, Now You See Them Soon You Won't, the Funniest Show in Town at the Moment, You Won't Believe What they look like today. And number one is Walking, Steve's new book. For Tracy, that's what they call them. It's two years old. Is it?
Starting point is 00:11:38 Why do they say new? You know, Wikipedia is just not what it used to be. Yeah, really. Yeah, I know. Also, your dreams are not as informative as it was worth. Marty, do you have excellent lighting or is that new work? You know what, have you ever heard of the word combo? Marty.
Starting point is 00:11:57 You must admit, I look, I am so angry by the press when they keep saying the word timeless. And I think I have to live up to it on some level. Yeah, sure. The great thing about Marty is he has it all done at once. Right. The hair, the eyes, the nose, the teeth. It's true.
Starting point is 00:12:17 And you heal all at once. You heal six weeks and it's over. Well, you know, I didn't get much from that book about Liberace, but I got a few pointers. I would say that the last time I saw Marty was at the opening of Sean, your play, and I was walking, I think I told this and I was walking by the bar to go upstairs
Starting point is 00:12:35 and he was like 50 people away from me and he yelled across everybody, why can't you have talent like that? I have to add a line from your earlier conversation about Kleenex, because Lenny Bruce had a line, it's like the mother, and she goes in her son's room and picks up, she goes, oh, oh look, Sonny blew his nose on the Playboy magazine again Wait a minute, you know still the guys, you know, Selena was on Selena Gomez was on our show a while ago And she said Steve she brought you she brought you up, and she said that, you know, I always wonder if we're gonna keep doing more seasons,
Starting point is 00:13:28 and Steve says, I wanna do the show, we're standing on the set, and Steve goes, I wanna do this show forever. When do we get out of here today? . . . .
Starting point is 00:13:39 . . . . . ..... First of all, we pay our compliments to Selena. She's lovely to work with. We love Selena. And she doesn't mind us. Oh, that's Marty. But is someone, do you need to get the door?
Starting point is 00:13:50 You're such a pro. You know what? This is gonna ring 10 times. Cause it's not like having a little. But it's a good location for your audio stuff. You know what, we should have removed it. Uh-huh, is there a little cuckoo bird that's gonna come out at the end?
Starting point is 00:14:02 No, no, no, but keep talking, but just remember, it's not nine o'clock, it's ten. So this incredible duo started with the three amigos, yes? Is Wikipedia correct on that? Correct. Yes, mostly correct. Now, were you aware of each other at all beforehand? Who was in a better position career-wise at that point? Who was who?
Starting point is 00:14:32 Well, Steve was, remember, a major star. Yes. And I was still in the ninth grade. Wait, wait, wait, did you say was? Yeah. Wow. You've still got room to go back. Still rolling, Marty.
Starting point is 00:14:42 Yeah. Wow. No, Steve, as you know, is a big, big star. But even then, no, I remember being aware of Steve. I met Steve quickly backstage of the new show and he was hosting it. Lauren's show, January 84, it started. It was just one season.
Starting point is 00:15:05 And the new show was kind of the idea of SNL in prime time. And Lorne was the host, and Catherine O'Hara was on too. Wait a second, Lorne Michaels was the host on camera? No, no, no, he was executive producer. Yes, Steve was the host. Gotcha, thank you. And so Catherine O'Hara was also on the show,
Starting point is 00:15:22 and we were friends with Catherine, so Nancy and I went and visited Katherine and Steve came into his dressing room doing quick change and was very friendly in that kind of icy way that is so Steve. Icy. It was friendly as far as I can go. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:40 You maxed out. But I first met Marty at my house, and he came over to get a copy of the script for Three Amigos. Really? And that's when I first met him. And I of course knew who he was, and I loved, I, since then, you know, I learned more,
Starting point is 00:15:59 cause I always enjoyed him, but I also watched him do specials and create new characters, and I realized that his characters are so bizarre, they have nothing to do with humanity. They have to do with like, you know, aliens coming down and saying, hey, I think this is the way they act. Well, thank you.
Starting point is 00:16:28 Right, it's like human behavior done by somebody who's never seen humans behave. Exactly. Right. But so was that part of the thinking, Steve? Was it, you know, this is a fella that mixed in with what I'm doing and what John would be doing, that it would be a great third element
Starting point is 00:16:45 creating a sort of red, blue, green. Here's exactly what I thought. I gave Marty the script, and I said, now look, when you read this script, and you come across Rick Moranis' name, just cross it out and write yours in. Unavailable. No, no, I was definitely the cheap amigo.
Starting point is 00:17:06 I was the, you know, carrot top had said, let me think about it. Wait, what about, and then Chevy was what? Well, no, it was gonna be Steve and Chevy. They were the, I think the original, wasn't it, wasn't it John Candy? I think it was John Belushi. Yeah. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:17:24 I think it was John Belushi. Yeah. Oh wow. I think it was John Belushi. And then it went to John Candy. I think you kinda know what we were going for there. But anyway, both were unavailable. And then the name Martin Short, Martin Short came up. You know, and after we, you know. And after there was a pause. And then Chevy was last?
Starting point is 00:17:46 No, Chevy was in. Me and Chevy were definitely in. It's actually Chevy and I, but whatever. Marty, what was that? Speaking of doing your, you know, Steve was talking about characters, I never knew, like, obviously I was such a huge fan of SNL then and now, but your character Jackie,
Starting point is 00:18:03 somebody with the blonde or the white wig. Jackie Rogers Jr. Jackie Rogers Jr. I've never known who that is or was. And I just. I'll tell you exactly who he was. I had done a piece.
Starting point is 00:18:14 An alien. No, a piece on SCTV called the idea that Jackie Rogers Sr. had been killed shooting a special called Old Mother Nature, She Loves Me, and he was attacked by a cougar and killed, and it had been on the show for 11 years. And then they were going to air it. But at the end, I needed someone to pop on and say, I missed my dad, I hope you won't, Thursdays at 7. And I'd seen a picture of Mickey Rooney jr. Who looked albino
Starting point is 00:18:46 I made him albino. Okay. Got it. So wait Jackson. I love that. You have a character backstory Like like your Marlon Brando What's your back Really funny uncle mother nature one Old mother nature, she loves me. It was killed by a rogue cougar. Yeah, there'd be a scene with me singing to a squirrel, pardon me miss, but I never done this with a real live squirrel. But then you saw a cougar lurking and he attacked me and killed me.
Starting point is 00:19:18 Marty, tell them the title of your TV special that I love so much. I Martin Short Goes Hollywood. But that reminded me of something I read years ago of this funniest book title I ever read. And then I thought, oh, I wish I had thought of that. And then I researched it and there is no book called that. I thought maybe I did think of it, but it was kind of a comedy biography of a fictitious actor called I, a actor. I, a actor?
Starting point is 00:19:54 I, a actor. I don't know whose joke that was. And we will be right back. Thank you to Macy's for supporting this episode of Smartless. And we will the right gift. You can shop by price and check out gifts $25 and under or $100 and under. If you're thinking to yourself, my mom has it all. Well, you're in luck. They have a gift list for the mom who has everything. With such a wide variety of fragrances, handbags, tech gadgets, you'll be sure to find something mom will love. I can't wait to go to the website. I'm going to get something for my mother-in-law. She's going to be so excited. And I can't wait to surprise her with something from Macy's. She's
Starting point is 00:20:48 going to be like, Ooh, it's Macy's. Head on over to Macy' slash gift finder to make this Mother's Day an especially memorable one. That's Macy' slash gift finder. Smartless is supported in part by Delta Airlines. You know what one of the things about a great trip is? It's not just the place you're going, but actually going and coming home from the trip. That's when you're absorbing all those memories. That's when you're hearkening back to that amazing experience you had with your loved one, your family, your friend. You got some nice wifi going, you got some great food and drinks.
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Starting point is 00:23:35 I might go hit some golf balls, and then I'm gonna come home and just chillax. Nothing says chillax like the Metapan or the Sunday performance joker. Viori is an investment in your happiness and they're hooking up SmartList listener with 20% off your first purchase at slash SmartList. That's V-U-O-R-I dot com slash SmartList. Not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase, but you'll also enjoy free shipping
Starting point is 00:24:03 on any U.S. orders over $75 and free returns. Go to slash smartless and discover the versatility of Viore Clothing. And now back to the show. Was it clear to you guys doing that first project that there was going to be a long life to this friendship and this work collaboration,
Starting point is 00:24:30 or did that just kind of grow on its own? No, I mean, I think it happens when you're working together. I mean, sometimes, as we all know, you do, you know, you're in Romania with a group of people for three months and you make a film and then you never, ever see them again. But with Steve, I thought, no to I want to keep this going. You know I want to I want to so we would do Amigo at dinners and go ahead. Can you see me raising my hand? Yeah go for it Steve. No I was just saying that you know you're
Starting point is 00:24:58 right usually work with somebody then you never see them again but in this case we continued to work together kind of coincidentally through Father the Bride movies. And did we do another movie together, is that it? Yeah, we did, but that's not, I think the point of it is. What was it? No, no, we did Prince of Egypt. Father the Bride too.
Starting point is 00:25:17 Oh yeah, you're right, yeah, yeah. And the scenes that were cut from Schindler's. No. No. That you were not supposed to talk about Marty. You know you're not supposed to mention it. Sorry. Just tonally, tonally it was not.
Starting point is 00:25:32 It was a swing. No, no, no, but Steve, Steve, Father of the Bride was five years after Three Amigos. We continued to be great friends and we grew up together. Yes, that's true. Yeah. Well, it's like you guys,
Starting point is 00:25:43 you're constantly riffing off each other. It's fun. And then when you work together, you start doing that all the time, and then you develop a kind of a, not only a kinship, but a style. And you guys had, and you guys also, right, you have a style and you have,
Starting point is 00:25:56 socially you have a lot of friends, right, in common. So you're sort of in the same circles. You're kind of in each other's orbits and on a lot of levels, right? Well, let me add something. Only Marty has friends. Right. Right.
Starting point is 00:26:09 That's my problem with these two. I benefit from his friends. Yeah, yeah. That's not true. But he's very social. Everybody wants to be with Marty, and I've told this before. I'd say, if we're, for example, or someone is plotting a dinner party in Hollywood,
Starting point is 00:26:23 and you invite these people and you invite Marty, and if Marty can't come, you cancel the party. Marty is the party. Marty party. Marty's party. But back then, and certainly after the success of Three Amigos, you guys could have, if you wanted to, start to generate your own sort of two-hander kind of
Starting point is 00:26:45 vehicles, much like you guys are doing today with your live stuff. Did you think about it? Did that start? No, Steve was a massive movie star, and I was just kind of there. While he was doing Roxanne, I was doing you know, doing the love boat reunion or something, so it wasn't always equal.
Starting point is 00:27:09 And I think it was, as Steve said, it just so happened that we were both cast in Father the Bride and the Father Bride 2 and then other things. But it wasn't until around 2011 that we were asked to interview each other on stage for the closing of the Just For Last Comedy Festival in Chicago, and that was successful, and that evolved into our live show. Oh, so that was the impetus for this whole other thing that you guys had created. Yes, right.
Starting point is 00:27:38 But I have to add something, and Jason said, after the success of Three Amigos, dot dot dot, you really mean 20 years after the success of Three Amigos, dot dot dot, you really mean 20 years after the success, the Three Amigos, did it become a success? It was a minor success at the time, and then it had a accumulation, a crude value, and then I remember like 10 years ago, a magazine from the UK, I think it was called Empire Magazine, And I remember like 10 years ago,
Starting point is 00:28:06 a magazine from the UK, I think it was called Empire Magazine, they called it, we want to put you, Chevy and Marty on the cover. And I said, why? And they said, well, it's the 25th anniversary of Three Amigos. And it's a huge hit. You mean, somebody cares?
Starting point is 00:28:19 I didn't think anybody even ever thought about it. Wow. Yeah, but the next year they did the cover of 25 years later from Ishtar. Yeah. So it's a magazine of flops. Yeah, I see now. Now, for a couple of fellas that usually
Starting point is 00:28:37 with your level of success, wanna do, the last thing they wanna do is start bopping around the country on the frequency that you guys are, staying in hotels, going up live every night. Like, it's a big thing that you guys are doing all the time, to massive success, and you know, you could probably do a million more shows.
Starting point is 00:28:59 But when you put it that way, geez. But I mean, I just think it's just incredible that you guys are, is it getting, is it tiring? Are you sorry that you've got so much momentum built up with this and all the fans that you would disappoint if you stopped? I mean, you're screwed now. Well, the truth is, I enjoy working with Marty
Starting point is 00:29:23 and I think it's vice versa, so we actually enjoy it, and all that other stuff. You get yourself a nice sitcom, you know? You get six hours a day, and you're just down the street. Well, that's a good idea. No, you know, it seems like way more work than it is. It really is, because we'll do maybe four shows, and then we won't do it again for two weeks.
Starting point is 00:29:49 Right, right. And they are fun, and then we, I mean, Steve and I will then, you know, have a glass of wine afterwards and discuss the show, and everyone kind of loves each other, because we have the Steep Canyon Rangers, and we have Jeff Babko, my piano guy, and everyone, and the stage manager,
Starting point is 00:30:07 it's all become very close, so it's fun. Yeah. There are no pricks allowed. Our max is six, maybe seven shows a month. Okay. So it's not, you know, I couldn't do it because I got a family and I love being home. Yeah, me too.
Starting point is 00:30:23 Steve, is it true years and years ago, Steve, that you, I've always heard this, I've never had the fortunate opportunity to have one, but did you used to have cards made when people came up to you, asked for a photo or an autograph, and you would just hand them a card that said you've asked a pardon? I thought it was funny.
Starting point is 00:30:38 This is in the 70s when I was getting asked for a lot of autographs. And so I made up a card, and it said, because I thought, what do people really want when they get an autograph? They want to say that they met you, that's the main thing, and what was he like? In the 12 seconds that they met you, what was he like? So I wrote, this certifies that you met me
Starting point is 00:31:01 and found me warm, charming, intelligent, and funny, and then I had a printed signature on it, then I found I'd give the cards out, thinking it was hilarious, and then they'd say, could you sign this? No way. Yeah, so I said, well, that's over. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:31:17 When you guys come together and you think up another show, because how many of the live tours have you guys done? It's four, five, six? Well, you mean different titles. I mean, but we keep changing the material all the time. We always. Well, in fairness, it's slowly evolving. We never throw everything out
Starting point is 00:31:40 and then bring everything new in. It would be impossible. So it just slowly evolves. Yeah, like what is that process like? Would it be like what the process would be, I'm assuming for standup, where you've got to spend a bunch of weeks or months accruing brand new material, observations, jokes, et cetera,
Starting point is 00:31:59 and shape that into a set that you like. Is that the same process you guys go through or no? You're saying it's sort of the same core and then you just kind of update it, yeah? Yeah, we change things one line at a time. And then every once in a while we'll come up with a new idea and we'll put it in whole. And is there a formal process when you guys
Starting point is 00:32:22 will get together and write? And will you do it via zoom? Will you just sit there zoom? We'll do zoom Yeah, we'll do zoom and we'll have a bunch of material in front of us and we'll but but you know We'll do that at the beginning of a tour if we have a lot of new material to go over Would you guys consider doing like Google spaces or Microsoft teams? We don't want to fuck with your process, your creative process, I'm just saying.
Starting point is 00:32:48 Now, Marty, is it true, Marty, that you originally saw yourself more as a singer and an actor? And if so, at what point did you feel it was a safe pivot to go into straight up comedy, screw the singing, screw the, I'm not gonna be a character. And do you regret it? And do you?
Starting point is 00:33:08 And what were you thinking? No, I think it wasn't until I joined Second City in Toronto that I started to develop characters and realized that I could improvise and all that stuff. But up until then I thought I wanted to be Sinatra. Frank Jr. oddly enough, not the father. And I wanted to. And I used to, you know, I used to do musicals
Starting point is 00:33:31 and I would do plays. But I'm sure you must have been, you must have had some comedic success in high school, right, junior high? Well, no, no, I was funny in the class. I heard you killed in St. Catharines. I heard that you would kill in Hamilton and say Catherine Oh, yeah, you know at the hungry hungry lion and
Starting point is 00:33:52 No, I I was I grew up in a very funny family My brother Michael has won many Emmys and awards from writing everything from SC TV to Schitt's Creek But so he was the eldest and it was very funny family. My father was funny. So it was kind of natural to be funny, but I never thought of it as something I would do until later on. And as you know, Marty is an incredible singer. I mean, I listen to him on stage every night.
Starting point is 00:34:19 He's never flat, he's never sharp, and curiously, he's never on the note. But. But no, he's incredible. He never misses, he has a beautiful tone. Is he a better singer than you are a banjo player? Absolutely. Is he?
Starting point is 00:34:41 That's high praise, because you know what you're doing on that thing, right? Well, oh Steve's good. I do in a way. There could be some Grammys there. In fact, whenever Steve plays the banjo. I've won Grammys playing the banjo. You've won many Grammys, Steve, haven't you?
Starting point is 00:34:54 Playing the banjo, hell yeah. Whenever Steve plays the banjo, I like to just close my eyes and pretend I'm on hold with Cracker Barrel. Pfft. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha We do some songs, but we use piano and we use our orchestra, but we don't have a banjo number. Jason, have you not seen it? No, I've never been invited. It's so good, it's so funny and so, it's hysterical. What, the show?
Starting point is 00:35:32 I've never, I haven't seen it either. I've been busy. I've been, in my defense, I'm very busy. Yeah, I know, you've mentioned, I hear, I listen to Smartless all the time, and I always hear, you've said many times, I'm busy. I'm very busy, yeah. I'm just not sure at what. Yeah. I'm busy. I'm very busy. Yes, not sure at what yeah
Starting point is 00:35:45 What country wait wait Steve? I want to ask you actually you mentioned Grammys And you've won Grammys for your banjo playing, but you've also won many Grammys for stand-up over the years and I Do you I don't know if you do any stand-up anymore at all, ever? The only stand-up I do is in our show. Yeah. I call it stand-up with Marty, but we each have a section in our show, and I just sort of do monologue jokes
Starting point is 00:36:18 and introduce the song on the banjo and play it. But I love doing it. It took me as long, as much time to work out that 10 minutes as it used to take to work out 10 minutes. You realize you're three years into this and you've got one little area that's weak and you're trying to fix it.
Starting point is 00:36:38 And now it's feeling really good now that it's old and overexposed. Is there, what is the oldest joke that you still include in your set? Like the one that just never fails, it goes all the way back to Carson perhaps, appearances there, no, anything? I don't, I don't.
Starting point is 00:37:00 I mean there's jokes that, for example, when we did our Netflix special, then we really started trying to change things out. And then three years later, we're talking, we're going, you know what, I missed that one joke, blah, blah, blah. And then we would put it back in, and then no one knew or cared. Marty, you're famous for really loving preparing
Starting point is 00:37:22 very deeply for talk show appearances. I thought you were gonna say, Marty, you're famous for using the same old joke. Which one is your favorite? Which one of the three? How is it to deeply prepare using old material? But you enjoy, did I hear this right, that you enjoy preparing for talk show appearances? Or is some of us... Well, I just have a philosophy about it.
Starting point is 00:37:45 I mean, I just kind of... It's like... It's work and you've got to prepare. I just don't want to go out and fail and feel it was my fault. So if I send in, you know, 15 pages and then I go out with Kimmel or Letterman or Fallon or whoever and they're off or I'm a little off. But if I go out gunning for bear,
Starting point is 00:38:08 I feel like whatever happens, I can still toast myself because I did everything I could do. I feel the exact same way. How's it going today for you? Did you prepare today? I did and none of it is working. You know? You should toast yourself because you did your best. You should toast yourself, because you did your best.
Starting point is 00:38:25 You should toast yourself. You know what I should? I should. I mean, I got the lighting. Again, to sort of the portion of the interview, hashtag relatable, talking about talk show appearances, I find that I get, I start to feel sad, and like I'm losing my soul,
Starting point is 00:38:43 as I start to like, the two weeks before the talk show appearance, I start to really try to log things in my life. Oh, this would be good to talk about. Or this would be good. And they're like deeply personal, cute moments like with your children or whatever. And you think, well, fuck, why am I logging this
Starting point is 00:38:59 for a talk show? I should be. Yeah, but it all works out, Jason. I should save this for a movie. I should save it for a TV show. No, no, but it works out because, no really, you're working, you're working, you're feeling, you're losing your soul,
Starting point is 00:39:09 you feel sad and depressed, and then when you do it, that's what the audience feels. So it's a journey. It's a journey. You transferred to the audience. Yes. I'm not sure what you mean. You mean you feel like you're giving away
Starting point is 00:39:24 your private life to do a talk show anecdote? No mean you feel like you're giving away your private life to do a talk show anecdote? No, I feel like I should be more present in my moment with my children or whatever instead of thinking, oh, this is funny what she's doing. I'm gonna talk to Kimmel about this. Like that's just like. No, you're doing the right thing.
Starting point is 00:39:39 You're doing the right thing. Use them on that. It's interesting, Marty, we've talked about this before where people don't realize those kinds of on-camera interviews on those talk shows are kind of performances, and it's like we've all seen them and all witnessed them, so we know what the good ones look like. Every single person in show business.
Starting point is 00:39:57 So don't you wanna do a good one? The first talk show I ever did was in 1982 on Letterman, and I kept thinking, what do I, like same thing you're saying, Jason, what do I talk about, what do I, like same thing you're saying, Jason, what do I talk about, what do I think about? And then I realized, oh, I get it. It's like being at a dinner party where everyone's had some drinks
Starting point is 00:40:14 and you're kind of on and telling stories, but somehow you have to lift that six minutes because you don't have the hour and a half ramp. Or the booze. Yeah, you know what I can't stand though is when people go on who are funny, like considered funny people in the business, and they just like to talk about something serious,
Starting point is 00:40:29 and people at home are judging them, and they go, oh I saw them on Letterman, or Fallon, or whatever, or Kimmel. They're not that funny. They're not that funny. Yet, yet, a dramatic actor goes on, and says one funny thing. People at home go, and they can do comedy.
Starting point is 00:40:43 It's amazing. Yeah. You know? I used to really resent having to. We're so bitter. Yeah, I know. And funny thing, people at home go, and they can do comedy, it's amazing. You know? I used to really resent having to. We're so bitter. Yeah. I know. I used, when I was young and dumb and really super duper full of myself, I used to think, oh, you know,
Starting point is 00:40:55 I'm going on this talk show, like, they're lucky to have me, I don't have to prepare anything, fuck that, you know, and they're not paying me to write. And of course, you know, the appearances were terrible. And I would see them and I was just like, oh my God, you punk. And then as I got older and wiser, as we all do, then you start really working on stuff.
Starting point is 00:41:14 And that pre-interview with the producer for Tracy, a lot of this stuff is talked about beforehand so that there is a cohesive six minutes where you're gonna get to a few questions. And not that the answers are prepared, but you've got sort of an angle that might be entertaining for the audience. But all the hosts vary.
Starting point is 00:41:34 I mean, you know, sometimes you go. But when I would do Letterman, I swear he would hit one quarter of what I'd prepared. One time he said, tell the Tony Randall story. And I said, I was on two months ago and told the Tony Randall story, Dave. He said, I don't care, tell it again. I have a secret fantasy, which is to go on a talk show,
Starting point is 00:42:00 totally unprepared, and just to see what happens. But you could do that and you could do that and there are certain hosts that could definitely do that and not need that, because sometimes the notes are really almost there more for them. But a lot of them, like Kimmel for instance, you can just go on there
Starting point is 00:42:19 and you can just go right off the questions. You sit down, how you doing? Great, and you guys are just both riffing. You're having a conversation like we're having. I mean, we're barely prepared, I'm certainly barely prepared. What's my next question here? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:42:31 I wanna talk about only murders. Did you guys, first of all, we share a mutual friend, John Hoffman, who I love. Yes. The bright, he's always cheery, always sweet, always kind. Would kill the head half of the- And then he stabs you in the back. Yeah. Did you guys know when you in the back. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:45 Did you guys know when you were developing it together, not of, I hate that question, did you know it was gonna work, but did you have a sense that with the writing and you guys and like the first table reads and the first kind of days of shooting, like yeah, this is, we have something here, or were you still kind of unsure
Starting point is 00:43:02 until the season was wrapped? Didn't know a thing, Didn't know a thing. You just write it according to the premise. And then when it started to hit the air, and you started to get back word that, why the way, it's the biggest debut that ever, and that sort of thing. I don't know how accurate that is.
Starting point is 00:43:19 Yeah, it's huge. And that's when you start to get excited, but you don't change anything because of that. You just, oh. And then even a year and a half later, you start to go, what is this? Yeah, right. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:33 We'll be right back. We get support from Happy Egg, and here's the deal. I love starting my morning off with farm fresh eggs that are just packed with flavor. At Happy Egg, all of their hens roam on eight or more acres of land, leaving no mystery as to why their eggs are the best. They are cared for by these small family farmers, and they live their best hen lives day in and day out. Aside from the hens roaming across eight plus acres of farmland, you heard me
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Starting point is 00:45:04 You'll always find the best of what you love or something new to discover. They offer an incredible selection of audiobooks across every genre, from bestsellers and new releases to celebrity memoirs or mysteries and thrillers, motivation, wellness, business, everything. Audible is your destination for thrilling audio entertainment with highly anticipated new releases and next listen recommendations for every type of thriller listener. As an Audible member, you can choose one title a month to keep from the entire catalog, including the latest bestsellers and new releases.
Starting point is 00:45:40 For me, it's The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt. It is my new audible book I'm onto. And it's narrated by Sean Pratt and Jonathan Haidt, which is amazing. And it's just one of those books that is just really striking a chord. And listening to them narrated is a great way to do it. And, you know, it's obviously talking about the impact of phones on this young generation as a parent, it's pretty striking. So I encourage you to listen to The Anxious Generation or any of your book favorites over on Audible. And new members can try Audible free for 30 days. Visit slash smartless
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Starting point is 00:48:13 or on their award-winning app. State Farm lets you do things your way. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. And back to the show. And back to the show. Now, there's word that you guys are going to be going to Los Angeles with it. Is the whole show switching to Los Angeles or no? Well, that's one of those news stories
Starting point is 00:48:35 because we're shooting two days in Los Angeles that it's mistaken for, they're moving to the entire season, you know. No, it's just, it's like a location shoot. Oh, gotcha, but it is shot in New York. Right. Yes. Do you both live in New York? Steve lives in New York.
Starting point is 00:48:51 I rent in New York. But you rent while we're shooting. You don't live in New York. That is correct, sir. Would you guys like for it to be shot in Los Angeles 100% of the time? That was my, you know, when I had the idea for the show, I pitched it to them, to the producers, Dan Fogelman
Starting point is 00:49:11 and Jess Rosenthal, based on, I wasn't even in it. I said, I think this is a good idea, and we liked it. Then they called me and said, would you do it? And I said, well, I can't. I could only do it if it's shot in New York. And then that's what, that's why it was shot. And also it's a New York show, which makes it kind of great. That's the thing, it's great that it's shot in New York.
Starting point is 00:49:34 It feels 100% like a New York show. And you just added Molly Shannon, I read. Molly Shannon, yes. That's super fun. You have a great cast of people on that show. So fantastic. And that's what, when we get somebody that we can, like, we worked with Matthew Broderick, it was like so easy and the comedy is so good.
Starting point is 00:49:55 It's like you've worked together all, you know, your whole lives. Yeah, Matthew's great, I love him. But talk about an out of the box piece of casting with Selena Gomez just obviously seems incredibly genius now, but like, the two of you with her is so unexpected. How did that come about? It came about after the fact, because I had originally pitched it as three older people who have a lot of time on their hands.
Starting point is 00:50:23 And, you know. We were busy. And then I think the studio suggested, what about Selena actually? What about Selena? And we met her on Zoom and she, they actually cast her and we met her on Zoom and Marty and I, after the Zoom, we called each other
Starting point is 00:50:40 and go, she's perfect. Yeah, wow. She's so sweet. Well I still wasn't sure, I was saying, maybe a female but what about Kathy Lee Gifford? She's a little higher but a champion of you you pull out names from from an old hat From the Harry Potter sorting yeah now Talk about another thing that you would think would be unexpected, because Steve,
Starting point is 00:51:07 you've lived a very private life. It's very, very cool, very mysterious. I love that about you. You don't seek attention, Marty. And yet you've got this, but there's this documentary coming out that is covering you from soup to nuts, or already out. And was that pulling teeth to get you to be a participant?
Starting point is 00:51:35 I mean, Morgan Neville as a director would probably a huge draw for you, but. Yes, Morgan Neville. I'm so glad. What's it called? It's called Steve! Okay, yeah, Steve! And I got a call from Morgan Neville about this documentary
Starting point is 00:51:51 and his credits are, Won't You Be My Neighbor and 20 Feet From Stardom. So many, he did a thing called Cool School. And I met him, we got along, and when you do a documentary you have to open up, first of all your archives, which I happen to have, they told me, he said, you have a lot of archives. And I didn't realize I had a lot of archives.
Starting point is 00:52:18 So they went, prowled through my archives for months and months and months and found things that they found. Like an old sock? A photo. Pardon me. A photo of an old sock. He kept the photo, not the sock. I love too that you didn't know you had archives.
Starting point is 00:52:38 You were just like, who was saving them then? It was a cherished sock. Anyway, they found a photo of my father in Germany in 1943 Three doing a USO show. Oh, thank God Wait Steve Steve, let me ask you, did you start archiving years ago, hire one of these people to do that?
Starting point is 00:53:11 I did not archive, I saved things. And I realized later, I would take things like, oh I'm on a magazine cover, I'll save it and I'd throw it in a thing. I was saving all the wrong stuff. I should have saved photos, which you know, photos were hard to come by then. You just didn't snap it. You had the photo that was sent in.
Starting point is 00:53:32 And the thing is, you know, change film, the whole thing. So, but when I wrote my autobiography, I did have one little plastic box where I just threw things in. And that had things like a receipt from a hotel in Salt Lake City in 1971. So you knew where you were at that date and you could research.
Starting point is 00:53:57 Do you remember her name though? It was like archeological because as it went down, you would go past time, go through time. It was like archeological because as it went down, you would go past time, go through time. I went to, speaking about receipts, I went to, when Marty's biography came out, he didn't send me one, so I went to the bookstore, bought it, and while I was at the cash register, put the book and the receipt, took a photo of it,
Starting point is 00:54:25 emailed him and said, that's okay, I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it.
Starting point is 00:54:33 I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it.
Starting point is 00:54:40 I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. you needed it, it's there. It's got plenty. Marty, what about a documentary biography for you? Like a documentary.
Starting point is 00:54:49 Can't make his deal. No, there's going to be one. Oh really? Lawrence Kasdan, the legendary director, is doing it for Imagine. Really? Wow, great. When does that, have you been shooting it? No, no, no, it's just they're just again,
Starting point is 00:55:02 accumulating stuff at this point. Yeah, well that's gonna take years. Yeah, they're making the final decision on who it's about. Yeah. Yeah. They're trying to decide the ending. Yeah. How long are you in town, Marty?
Starting point is 00:55:15 Are you in? I go to New York in about two weeks for, you know, we start shooting. All right. And is it that, are you in the middle of production? We don't start shooting for two weeks. Yeah. A new season, I mean, or is it?
Starting point is 00:55:30 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll shoot a couple days in LA and then the bulk of it in New York. Okay, got it. And how are you guys enjoying the process of being locked onto a show that lasts, I mean, how long is your season to shoot? Four, five, six months?
Starting point is 00:55:44 Yeah, four. It's about Four months, yeah, four. It's about four months, and I actually love it. It's, you know, the studio's 20 minutes from my house, and also you're working with two other co-stars, and so you're not shooting every day, and when we work together, it's really fun. And I would say that it is definitely Steve's philosophy, my philosophy,
Starting point is 00:56:05 my philosophy, and it turned out, luckily, Selena's philosophy to make the set as much fun and joyful as it can be. So there are no pricks allowed. So it's fun to go to work. It's just stunning, right, how people don't enforce that rule commonly on a set because the hours that you work, the cast and the crew, are often
Starting point is 00:56:26 many more hours than you spend with your family. So why would you tolerate anything short of a family dynamic on a set? Jamie, you've always been good about that. You're a crew guy and you've always had that rule, no pricks on set but me, and you've adhered to it, you've stuck by it, and you've never deviated, and there's only one.
Starting point is 00:56:46 I've said this on the podcast before, but any job I get the very first day, say out loud to everybody, is if you look around and you can't find out who the asshole is, it's probably you. It's true. Well, you guys have been very, very nice to help us celebrate our 200th.
Starting point is 00:57:03 I mean, this is a very significant booking. What a thrill. If we added up our ages, it'd probably be around that. What a thrill. Yeah. It'd be close. I worked with Jason in 2004, you know. And what?
Starting point is 00:57:16 And Will. Oh, unrested, yeah. Unrested, yeah. Unrested, I've never worn a wheelchair. Played a character, a rich fella, that had lost the use of his legs with a weightlifting accident and he was so wealthy that he, and hated wheelchairs,
Starting point is 00:57:30 he hired a big meathead, a big heavy fella to carry him around like a little baby. And then Marty would bark directions at him, you know. Shoot me! Yeah, shoot me, take me this way. To the nuts! And he'd have to dip him down to grab a handful of nuts. And then they did a flashback of the actual accident where he's lifting up a barbell, he puts it over his head,
Starting point is 00:57:54 and he just says, too much! And then his leg snapped underneath him. And then we cut back to the present time. It's one of the best. The funniest joke of that though was when, I'm being carried by Dragon, his name was. And I say, to the nuts! To the nuts! And he puts me at Jason's crotch.
Starting point is 00:58:15 And against his crotch I'm going, bridge mix! I want bridge mix! Where did Mitch, was that your joke or was it Mitch's? Mitch the Great Mitch Hurwitz? I think it must be Mitch's. Oh my God, the crap he'd come up with. Great Mitch Hurwitz. I remember doing My and Marty, the My and Marty show with Marty U. And we were rehearsing something in the hallway. And I said, should we just like, should we just kiss after that line? He said, yeah, let's do it. And he goes, let's rehearse it.
Starting point is 00:58:43 And he said, yeah, let's do it. And he said, yeah we just like, should we just kiss after that line? He said, yeah, let's do it. And he goes, let's rehearse it. And you just grabbed me and kissed me. There you go. Oh, he uses that a lot. I love that. Then I had to give you one note,
Starting point is 00:58:57 I just said, you know, it's a comedic kiss, we don't need the tongue. It was great. I mean, you and say, don't you ever get to see the people that you've been with? And you're like, oh, I'm not gonna see them. I'm not gonna see them. I'm not gonna see them. I'm not gonna see them. I'm not gonna see them.
Starting point is 00:59:11 I'm not gonna see them. I'm not gonna see them. I'm not gonna see them. I'm not gonna see them. I'm not gonna see them. I'm not gonna see them. I'm not gonna see them. I'm not gonna see them.
Starting point is 00:59:19 I'm not gonna see them. I'm not gonna see them. I'm not gonna see them. I'm not gonna see them. I'm not gonna see them. I'm not gonna see them. I'm not gonna see them. I'm not gonna see them. I'm not gonna see them. I'm not gonna see them. And you guys are the two reasons you got into this business. I was literally gonna tease you, I was gonna joke and say don't you start crying, you're literally crying.
Starting point is 00:59:32 Yeah, because a lot of the times you don't have these moments. Yeah, I hear ya. We're very, very fortunate. I'm with you. We get to meet some real heroes on this show. Hands down, you two are the two reasons I got on this show.
Starting point is 00:59:47 You're serious, aren't you? He is deadly serious. He's very soft and chewy on the inside. That's true. Thank you, Sean. It's true. You guys are incredible and incredibly generous to say yes to doing this today, so thank you.
Starting point is 01:00:01 Thank you. I love your show. I love when you're joking around. It just feels like you're with three friends, you know, not you guys. But. I'm sure it's what you guys enjoy working together all these years, we certainly feel that way. And I remember I was on one of the early shows
Starting point is 01:00:17 and you didn't even have a title yet. That's correct, that's true. And I suggested the Maguire Sisters. You did. Didn't clear. Didn't clear, didn't clear. We got so close. We got so close with that. Sorry for getting choked up there, but I meant it.
Starting point is 01:00:30 No, it's so, so thank you, Sean. That's why you are so lovely, because you were a hundred percent human being. Well, thanks, likewise. And he's got great taste. You guys are the best. Thanks, you guys. You guys are the best.
Starting point is 01:00:41 It is such a thrill for us. Thank you for having us. Thank you, guys. We loved it. Yeah. And I'll get the best, it is such a thrill for us. Thank you for having us. Thank you guys. We loved it. And I'll give you the address for the check. This will never air, this will never air, by the way. This will never. It can't.
Starting point is 01:00:52 No, it can't. There's nothing usable. There's nothing. Yeah. You guys. We'll punch it up later. The great Mark Short and Steve Martin, my guys, thank you guys for doing our 200th episode.
Starting point is 01:01:03 What an honor. Thank you, brilliant show, love, have heard everyone. Loth episode. What an honor. Thank you, brilliant show. Love, have heard everyone. Love your show. Thank you. Love you, love you. Bye guys. Thank you guys.
Starting point is 01:01:10 Thank you, bye bye. So I'm gonna say, I was at this dinner at our friend Ted's house. Yeah. And he had about 30 or 40 of the funniest people in his business. And I was fortunate enough to be there. And Dave Chappelle stands up,
Starting point is 01:01:29 and he gives this incredible speech about how everybody in that room means something to him, and has meant something to him. And it was just incredible. I was blown away by his speech. And I thought, good on him for making that speech in the moment while it's happening. And so I had this conversation with myself. I'm like, do I say it? Do I wait till we're done?
Starting point is 01:01:51 And I say it to you guys and I was like, no, embrace the fear of saying that, the thing that you feel in front of the people you want to say it to. And so I seized the moment. It's just so lovely. And I guarantee you that just drilled them right in their heart and probably meant the world to them. Because I guarantee you they feel at least half of that going back to you. Yeah, and you know what, I will say this too, and I'm with you, that those two guys have had, or two people that I as well,
Starting point is 01:02:28 have as a sort of comedic actor, if you will, I don't consider myself a comedian, but as a performer, two guys that I look up to as being at the sort of the pinnacle, again, gold standards of people that I think are funny, who have created funny things over the funny characters. For years. For years.
Starting point is 01:02:47 They have been relevant at the top of their game forever. And so the idea that I'm in a conversation with them, that they're doing our podcast, to me, is not, the novelty of that has not rubbed off. Right. And I hope it never does, right? And I never want to, right, and I never want to get to, ever,
Starting point is 01:03:03 get to a place in my life where I don't recognize things like that and I take them for granted. Because we've all been in this business for fucking 100 years, and you don't want to just pass moments by where we're like, oh yeah, there's so and so, there's so and so. It's like, you know them.
Starting point is 01:03:17 And it just takes a beat to go, wow, how did I get here? And those two guys are the only guy. As soon as a novelty wears off, you stop enjoying and appreciating how fortunate you are. I still remember, I think I was like, I don't know, 13 or 14 or something, and I'd been going for a couple of years,
Starting point is 01:03:36 and one of my buddies at school said, well, what's the most famous person you've ever met? And I forget what I said, but I remember there was this was like one person that I thought, well, this would be a great answer. I still remember that like it was yesterday. And I think about it all the time on this show
Starting point is 01:03:56 because we are so fortunate to be able to talk to people at the zenith of this business. And I feel, I mean, my pits are sweating right now. to talk to people at the zenith of this business. And I feel, I mean, my pits are sweating right now. They sweat every time we record this show. Because we're talking to someone that I don't feel like I really have a right to have on my show, our show.
Starting point is 01:04:19 Like, what am I doing, hosting a show that they would be a guest on? It's just bizarre to me. JB, I played this thing yesterday, that thing that you could be at, and one of the guys I played with said to me, he said, oh man, when you guys had Bono on last year, and he knows Bono, he was like,
Starting point is 01:04:34 that was such a great interview, and Bono had such a great time, and he really felt really comfortable with you guys, and he really had such a great experience, and I'm thinking like, Bono told you that about hanging out with us fucking morons? Like what? Yeah, well, none of this is lost on us clearly.
Starting point is 01:04:52 And no, we're lucky. We're fortunate. We're not lucky, but we're really fortunate. And as much joking as we do about our lives and all that kind of stuff that we get to do it, that we get the opportunities that kind of stuff, that we get to do it, that we get the opportunities to do it, and that we get to do it together. Yes, and now that we're talking about all this stuff
Starting point is 01:05:11 on another level, that we get to do it together. And that I admire you guys and love you guys, just like I did them. It's really cool how those, yeah, and then those two guys, we were talking about it, that's why they're bopping around together, because they just love being with one another. Just like, we love being together
Starting point is 01:05:30 and how this whole thing started. It's so funny doing this thing, and we do it together, and people have opinions on it, and opinions on our relationships, and people come up to us and say stuff, or whatever. And it's odd, right? It's very kind of revealing sometimes. It was part of it that I never expected.
Starting point is 01:05:49 Which one's the best? Which one's the funniest? No, but they talk about like what we do. And it's very, it's exposing in a way, right? In a way that I didn't anticipate before about being so open. And I feel very lucky, like you were saying, Sean, that I get to do it with you guys. I feel very safe doing it with you guys.
Starting point is 01:06:11 And I love you guys a lot. And we, like anybody, we have moments that are tough as well and we do stuff and because we're friends and we're in business together and we do stuff. But as you know, we are, I think of you guys as my for real brothers and friends. And I love you guys a lot. I love you too.
Starting point is 01:06:34 And that we're doing this 200th episode, it's fucking crazy. Right. It is crazy. It's fucking crazy, dude. The other cool thing is that while we do hang out with each other away from this, this is not 50%, but it's, let's say 35%
Starting point is 01:06:50 of the time we spend with one another. And we shared this relationship, basically. We share 35% of our friendship with the people who are listening. So thank you guys for listening. Yeah, thank you guys. And thank you for being a part of whatever this three-headed beast is.
Starting point is 01:07:12 You see and you live with us 35% of our friendship, which is kinda cool. And so. It's been on a podcast called 35%. Willie, you started this podcast today kind of down. How do you feel now? I feel a lot better now. Good. It always works. Willie, you started this podcast today kind of down. How do you feel now? I feel a lot better now. Good.
Starting point is 01:07:28 It always works. Yeah, you do. It always does work. It always works, it's wild. You better fucking show up with the right attitude next time. No, I'm gonna show up as me every time. It's true.
Starting point is 01:07:38 Wherever I'm at. I don't try to flip a switch at all, right? We just open up the computer and away we go. Yeah, you're at where you're at, and it's true, like I even said, I anticipated that you start here and you can always end up up here. Always. Right, and that any day, any given day,
Starting point is 01:07:54 doesn't have to be a bad day or a good day, you can have lots of different things on every day, and that's just the color of life. Yeah, you know, people come and go, you say hello, you say. Yeah. Yeah, you know people come and go, you say hello, you say... Bye, bye. You say goodbye.
Starting point is 01:08:08 Bye, bye. Boy, I wish we had some of those recommendations for buys. Right now. Right now. Will, are you trying to Google one right now? We went to... We went before, we were just gonna say a bi. I feel like there's something we could do
Starting point is 01:08:27 like in a bicentennial type of thing because it's 200 years. Do it, Jay, it's our bicentennial, do it. It is our, this is happy bi- Bicentennial! Is it really bicentennial? Yeah. Smart. Smart. Smart. SmartLess is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by Bennett Barbico, Michael Grant
Starting point is 01:09:02 Terry and Rob Armjarf. SmartLess If you like SmartLess, you can listen early and ad free right now by joining Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at slash survey. Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville and I'm Elna Baker and we have a new podcast is called Pretty Sure I Can Fly. Yep, we've teamed up with my friends and bar mates from smart list to create a podcast where we talk to folks who
Starting point is 01:09:39 have more balls in a bowling alley. People who accomplish something extraordinary despite people telling them that it couldn't or shouldn't be done. You'll hear stories about the Air Force doctor who buckled into a 600 mile per hour rocket sled and became the fastest man on the planet. And a man who wrestles alligators and sharks for fun. Do not do this.
Starting point is 01:09:58 You'll hear about a foul mouth moonshiner. Got a two inch dick and a six inch tongue and knows how to use both of them. And an even more foul-mouthed female stunt pilot. We got bull riders, balloonists, bops letters, and big wave surfers. People who lay their balls on an anvil and hand the other fellow the hammer. I bet you've actually done that, Johnny. Maybe for sweeps. Follow Pretty Sure I Can Fly on the Wondery app. Or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Pretty Sure I Can Fly early

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