SmartLess - "Steve Zahn"

Episode Date: August 31, 2026

This guy knows how to clap: it’s Steve Zahn. Bite-breakage, noodle art, and a steak with Werner. Shower-Team assemble! … on a gorg new SmartLess. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of SmartLess ad-free and a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hi, this is Steve Zahn, and I just went through an intense tech setup with my mic and my computer, and I'm ready to go. I'm just waiting here. I'm waiting patiently to be on Smartless. Welcome to Smartless. All right, surprise guests. Give us a clap if you're still with us, please. We are rolling. Oh, wow, that's intense.

That's a dude. we're going to go tarps off today guys I almost sent you an article last night so we talked about tarps off it wasn't even a Canadian article I never heard that before is that an old saying yeah it is I never heard that Canadian old

You know when I was in junior high school they would do shirts Oh hang on let me settle in They would do shirts and skins You know like And I was so like I would always be afraid to be skins because I wasn't happy with my body.

Same. By the way, it's traumatic for children to be like, hey, take your shirts off, dudes, against the guys who get to keep them on. It's like, why is that a thing? Yeah, I wonder if you can still do that. Is it politically not okay to say, you take your shirt off, you keep yours on?

And the same, right, and the same was showers after. Like, I remember being 12 years old, guys hit the showers. I'm like, I don't want to be naked in front of my... Were you always on the shower team? Guys, can I be talking about, Team Captain showers? What sport are you doing this semester?

I'm taking showering. I'm quarterback of the shower team. You know, though? Isn't that so traumatic? Yeah, I went to all boys boarding school, dude. I had to shower every day. I mean, what is the thinking behind that? That, like, oh, they'll be fine.

They'll work it out. They're just boys. And I'm like, no, we're all sensitive. Anyway, moving on. Huh. Huh. Well, just drop us off right there, Sean. Thanks.

I guess we'll find our way home from here. No, you know what I mean? It was just awful. It was awful. I was in camp. I remember I had to take music camp. Oh, he's got more. Shot.

Go ahead. Off the top of my head with Sean Hayes. Yeah. Camp stories. I had to take a shower and it was really cold. But did I hear to tell the story? Oh, that explains it. There's a super long line.

And there was a line of like 100 guys in line to take one shower at a time. And by the time I got there, the water was so cold. I was, it was freezing. And I, you know, you'd lose your breath when the water's not, like, you can't get your breath. And I was like, and everybody was staring at me, taking a shower.

I don't know, it's just so awkward. Did your folks get a deal on the camp? This is 100 people for the one shower with the no hot water? Yeah, right. The music camp was awkward. Wait a second, that's it? Yeah, I mean, it's just... Full story.

Just the same as always. Well, I think we can start rolling now. Sean, you've got a GEPD hat on that is some sort of a police department that is... Glen Ellen. Glenn Ellen. Glenn Allen. Glenn Aaron. Glenn Aaron.

That's in the Chicago suburbs. That is in... I'm just looking in the chat there. I don't know if you guys want to click on that. Oh, yeah. The chat, there's Jason with the Chicago. Let me see. Towling off in the Mediterranean.

Hey, man, you know. Keep it relatable. That's something you can Google if anybody wants to Google. You do look good though, J.B. Yeah, you look really good. No, not really. That's a dad bod right there. That's a dad bod who's been working out.

Oh, that is... So that's my shower shot, right? I know. See? It's embarrassing. You're never nude, right? God, remember that show. Yeah. By the way, I got a bunch of...

I think it's, I want to give out the correct website, but I'm going to guess at Davidcross.com. But I went on David's website for his, you know, stand-up site, where he's got a lot of his performances on there, which is awesome. And I bought myself a bunch of swag. I've got David Cross T-shirts. That's cool. No one's great.

And they threw in a beer cozy. I said to picture to David, once it arrived at the house, I said, hey man, I just wanted you to know, I'm a fan, and I've been buying stuff. I don't know what site I was on, but it was some sort of a link or somehow I got to his website,

and I was like, oh, look at all of this stuff. He's got merch, you guys. That's great. So, I don't know, if you like David Cross, like I do, go get yourself a T-shirt with his beautiful face on. We love ourselves from David Cross. Yeah, yeah, he should come back on the show. He should.

We're doing repeats now, aren't we? We're going to do repeats. Well, this one's not. No, this is a fresh new meat. This is fresh new meat. And this is... With heavy hands. Yeah, a loud clap.

Yeah. This guy knows how to clap. Sure, he does. And he probably learned it from all the audiences clapping for him. He's a musician? He's not a musician. He's a performer.

A magician, maybe. He's an... His acting is sometimes magic. You know how good magicians are a podcast. We learned that lesson. Look at this. They're an easy booking. Watch that.

I would describe some of his performances as magic. He grew up in Minnesota. There was a time where he thought about joining the Marines before he started pursuing acting. And then we got to see him in so many amazing shows, movies and stuff over the years. Way back when, all the way to today, movies like Reality Bites,

which he was so good. And he does the thing where he goes through independent film and big studio films. And then he does like Crimson Tide with Tony Scott. And then he was in that thing you do, which has become like a cult hit. And then he did Happy Texas, which he was amazing in. I remember him in Suburbia. You guys, it's Steve Zon. How about it?

Oh, Steve Zon. I love Steve Zon. I know me some Steve Zon. Sam Rockwell was showing me some pictures of Steve Zon the other day. And I just lit up like a tree. I didn't even get a chance to mention his movie She Dances, which is available now, which I wanted to get into. Steve will ask you about that. But welcome to Smartless Man, huge fan.

Thank you. I'm so stoked to be on this show. This is a guest. Yeah, this is a guy. I'm a big fan of your, Steve. Big fan. I'm a fan of all you guys. And I got to say, like, how is it that in 30 years I have not been in the same room with any of you?

I know. Where are you living? Where do you and your macaroni art live? That's the name of his production. Macaroni art. Yeah, you got a piece of Macaroni art. Is the name of his production company, right? Is that true?

That's it. That's crazy. So, listener, you should know there's a painting behind him with an elbow macaroni upside down in the shape of a U, just over his left shoulder. That's it. It's a brick wall, Steve, and some art that is macaroni. That's the name of his company. And the brick wall is in midway content.

Kentucky. Wow. Well, that's why we haven't seen you for 30 years. Yeah. Well, I've, you know, I've, you know, I've, you know, I've always, I've always kind of lived outside, outside the world. Yeah. I like that. But thank God you're still finding your way to our, to our movie screens and TV screens. Yeah. Did you ever live in Los Angeles, Steve? No, because, you know, back in the day when you actually worked in Los Angeles, I would just, I would rent a place for a long time, and it was great. Oakwoods. Yeah, I've stayed at the Oakwoods and Marina del Rey when I did that thing you do. Uh-huh. But so I was like, well, if I can run a house for an extended period of time and live in a different neighborhood all the time, why'd buy?

Right. But I was New York. I was New York. You were. Okay. Yeah. And then I met my wife a long time ago, 1990. And we met doing national tour, Bye Bye Birdie.

Oh, wow. I'm in. With Tom, cool, Chuck. With Tommy Tune and Ann Rankin. Now you really take it easy, Sean. It was crazy. Fuck. Which part were you? I was Hugo.

Of course you're Hugo. It was 13 months on the road. Anyway, we got back and then we had, you know, we had tour money. We thought we were rich. And so we bought a little cabin in Pennsylvania. And then we didn't work. So we had to give up the apartment and then live in this cabin. And then we commuted.

to New York. So really early on... You got used to not being in the city. Yeah, exactly. So... Well, now, and you're not the kind of fellow that needs to go in there and take a bunch of meetings.

People know what's going on with Steve's on. They know what they know. It's like you make a call. You see if he's available. It's a lot of get-me-steves-on. Any chance Steve's on is available? I don't care where we've got to fly him in from. Yeah.

We just need him. Yeah. No. You know. Yeah. You're like a special firefighter. I will... I will say, Steve, I remember hearing that you are like a special fireman.

Let's get him in here and put it out. He's a problem solve. You solve problems for people. I'm a solving problem. No, but I remember hearing that you lived in like Pennsylvania or something. And I way back when, because I was always such a fan. I was always like, that's so fucking cool that he doesn't even live in the city. Yeah, we don't have.

The three of us don't have the balls to live outside the city. I certainly, I'm too afraid to miss the meeting. I know. You know? Oh, you guys are on New York. right? No, just soft L.A.

You're an L. I'm both. I live in New York for you. Sean, he's got both too. These guys are doing real well, Steve. Yeah. No, but I was a New York guy back in the 90, you know, for 20 years.

Man, just what you thought you were doing good. Yeah. You know what, Steve, it's true when Jason just said, wherever he is will make it work. You pop up and like, when you popped up in the White Lotus, I was like, oh my God, you're brilliant in that.

And then I watched Silo, and I was like, is that Steve Zon? Is that Steve Zon behind the door? And that was amazing. Thanks. You pop up in the most unique places. How do you, do they come to you? Is it something you seek out?

You're like, I love that show because it seems like you're on all the good ones. Well, no, Silo, they approached me. Rebecca did. She actually, Rebecca saw a short that we did, that macaroni art did. We did a series of shorts called Uncandid Portrait. And I played this, like, I played this fictional artist, this photographer. that's famous from taking photographs of fireworks. And it was just short, and she saw it.

She was like, oh, my God, he'd be perfect for this part. Yeah, for my sister, for my sister who doesn't watch, it's Rebecca Ferguson, brilliant actress. Yes, she's amazing. And really cool. Anyway, but White Lotus, that was one of the last times I went on tape. Yeah, wow. Audition.

And now what about that process? Do you prefer it to self-tapping as opposed to going into a room? I don't do it that much. I mean, usually I get an offer, but it's like... But it's nicer, right? Because you don't have to send it in until you're happy with it. Exactly. I was always afraid I was going to shit my pants in the room, you know?

Yeah. Right. Well, that's because you're in all those diuretics, too. Yeah. It's just trying to drop water weight. It's constantly. It just runs havoc with the valve. But you know what?

And also it's like whenever I remember reading, you know, being in New York and going in an auditioning at like three of us and there was like 70 guys there. Three of us. You know, remember that? And like Sam Rockwell was there

and, you know, Rick Gomez was there. And, you know, everybody was there. Josh Hamilton and... Thoreau using the office scissors there to tend to the sleeves. But you would go in and you would read with someone that might not be that great.

And so the instinct of an actor is to make that moment good. So you might do something completely different to what you planned. Right, because the other hand is clapping in a real weird way. It's just, right. That's a great point. So, wait, hey, well, while I got you there, let me ask you about that. Yeah, he's not going anywhere. Okay, great.

We got you for a little bit, right? Yeah. Well, I got you. But I was just talking to somebody about that. I don't want to get into bullshit actor weeds here. You know, you are a guy who clearly has many different pitches in his arsenal, and you can throw the ball a bunch of different ways, and I won't torture the metaphor,

but if you're working with an actor that is doing something wildly different than what you assumed the night before when you were running your lines and making your plan for how you're going to do the scene tomorrow, and you show up on set, and that other actor is doing it completely differently than one would assume, do you, are you okay with pivoting and taking a different angle on your character,

just as you said, to make that scene work. Because a lot of actors, I find they just, they don't or they're not able to or they don't want to. No, I think for sure, that's the fun part, isn't it? I mean... Well, not for some. For some, it's just like, what the fuck are they doing? You know, director, can I talk to you?

I tell young actors, I tell my daughter, it's like, look, just show up early, over-prepare, and don't be a dick. and overprepared the main thing. Right. You know, it's like, know it's so well that you can act with anybody. Yeah, that you can adjust with anybody

at any kind of, anything they throw at you, you can adjust, yeah. And in the end, it's just a show. It's just a show. That's true. But wait, but Steve, do you find that you've kind of on that thread, do you find that you've kind of changed the way you approach as you've gotten older? Do you work differently than you did when you were a young actor?

Is it kind of the same? No, not really. Yeah. No. I kind of do it. Yeah, I'm the same. I get, I still get really nervous, man. I get scared when I go to a gig.

And, you know, I was nervous coming on here. I mean, you know. I'm nervous right now. Sean Hayes. Yeah, interviewer of the year. Yeah. Well, Sean, it's like he's snorting a Xanax right now. What, um, don't you find, do you remember the last time you weren't nervous for a part?

And do you remember that performance being not? that great because I certainly do. Like the few times I've not been nervous, I just don't think it's any good. I think nerves are a good component to performance. Yeah, no, I agree. I think that's, yeah, for sure. Yeah, I agree. Let me ask something, the Macaroni Art Production Company in Kentucky, is that what you said? Yeah. Well, there's a Kentucky office. Oh, there's a Kentucky office. Oh, I thought it was the only office. Well, no. Well, no. Come on. You know, it's your office is your computer. Yeah, no, for sure. I just didn't know, like, how you get,

how is it you can accomplish all you want to accomplish from Kentucky for our... It's a lot of work going on in Kentucky. There is, actually. It's a state. Oh, there is. Oh, okay. Yeah, no, the film instead of years really good. There's a lot of work that came here.

Oh, okay. No, no, I think I know what he's driving at. It's like, it's obviously, you know, New York and L.A. are typically thought of as the centers of, of the entertainment. Access to people and, you know. Right. You find it easy to sort of work. remotely as it were.

Yeah, but, you know, we have a feature that's out in the zeitgeist now called She Dance as we shot it here. Yeah. And Rick Gomez is my partner. We wrote it. He directed it. I starred in it. My daughter stars in it.

Nice. We shot it all here. And by shooting it here, we saved so much money, man. I'm sure. Yeah. Did they have one of those rebates there in that state? Yeah, we have a 30% and then 35% outside. And is it above or?

above and below the line or is it just below the line? Just below the line. So tell Tracy what below and above the line. Well, the line is drawn between the, well, the above the line is typically the director, the producer, the writer, the actors, and then below the line is the everybody that works in the crew and post-production and all that stuff. Don't quote me on that. I think, I don't know.

Look it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got it. binding on this podcast. But talk to me about Kentucky in general, though. Like, what do you, how did you find yourself? How did you move from Pennsylvania down to Kentucky? I've been coming here since, my wife grew up here.

Okay. So I've been coming here since 90, and I've loved Kentucky. And then we had kids, and we lived on a farm in New Jersey, West Central, New Jersey. And there's not a lot out there, you know. I mean, we kept saying, like, we're only an hour from the Met. Is that near Somerset? It was Delaware Water Gap.

You know where 80 hits Pennsylvania? Yep. Yep. It's like Blairstown area. Eastern Pennsylvania is close by. Is it my right? Yeah. The Poconos, Straussburg.

You'd go directly, directly west from the city. GW straight out. And so we had kids, and it was like, I don't know if this was great out here for kids. Because why? Because it was too isolating? Yeah, there was not a lot of. out there. And so we decided, you know, I said, why don't we move to, you know, outside Lexington?

And my wife, of course, was like, I'm not moving home. I'm like, well, I'm not living in your parents' basement. We're going to get a sweet place. Right, right, right. And you went ahead and you did. And the kids love it? Yeah, the kids grew up here. They know nothing other than this place. And how old are these little angels? 26 and 24. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Oh, wow. Yeah, they're out of your back. Wait a second. Steve, does Rick live in Kentucky as well? No, Gomez lives up in Healdsburg in Sonoma County. Oh, wow.

And we've shot stuff up there, too. That's California. I love that. That town is awesome. I haven't seen that dude. I used to know that dude 30 years ago. He's the best guy. He's great.

I haven't seen him in forever. Please add him for me. I will for sure. Yeah. And we will be right back. And now back to the show. What was it like working with your daughter in the film? It was amazing.

Yeah? She's been acting a while, or was just the first thing? Audrey went to musical theater a great school called Baldwin Wallace. Sean, you probably know about that. But it's one of those, they didn't have these schools when we were young. It's very specific to musical theater. She was there two years, and then she started working in theater, musical theater. So she's got a great voice, I bet.

She's got a great voice. She's an amazing dancer. and even better actor. Had you guys worked together before? No. And will you work together again, or is that it, did it end okay? Bridges Byrne? Yeah, no, it was the best thing in it.

I mean, it was like working on any other movie for me. Right. And that's a compliment to her. It's got to be wild, though, to adjust your brain to, to like, dad to then coworker, right? Yeah. Like, kind of, but I don't know. No?

It was, we worked on it so much. We read, I was doing Silo, and she came to visit for like a month. And we read every day. And so we knew it back and forth, you know. But you didn't have any moments on set where they were cut and you were like, hey, are you going to do it like that every time? Because, you know, we're rolling, right? You know, yeah.

No. Okay. I mean, see the movie. It's, you know, I'm her dad, so I'm going to say great things. But I can't wait for days. She's phenomenal. When does that come out? Is it, uh...

It's, it's been out, it premiered at Tribeca. It's now, you can, you can rent it or buy it on, you know, you're... Okay, gotcha. And then it... Forget red, buy it. Buy it. And then, and then it comes out on Peacock on the 21st. Gotcha.

Wow. Amazing. Uh, wait, so, Steve, you grew up in, uh, Minnesota. Yeah. In the Twin Cities region? I love hearing the train in the background. I was, so... Do you hear that train?

Is that fake? Yeah, it's great. No, it's literally, it's going to go by, and it's like 40 feet away. You pointed at you? Yeah. Oh, boy. Oh, wow.

Hey, Steve, you want to call us back. Oh, buddy. There goes the train. That's cool. It's really cool. It splits Main Street. It's, you know, it goes down the middle. It'd be great if we pan the camera

and it was just some dude who works for you walking by it with a speaker. Yeah. And walk by. Now, growing up in Minnesota, that probably makes you a hockey fan. Yeah, yeah, I dig the hockey. I had two friends that played pro. No kidding. Will would like to know their names.

Dennis Vasky. Oh, sure. And Lance Pitlick. Lance was a defensiveman. You know, Lance played for Ottawa. He played for a lot of teams. I don't know. Oh, he's not right.

Oh, good. He was our quarterback in football at my high school. And then he went on ahead. And then became a... I know. These athletes, they can do anything they want, you know. And they can go out there and you put a golf club in their hands and off the go. Those guys were insane, man.

They would shoot pucks every day. Yeah. Winter, summer, fall, spring, it didn't matter. And I was the guy who had the... We made, you know, goalie pads out of, like, an old couch. Yeah. And I would just suffer. in front of, you know.

No, Steve. Yeah. We, I used to drive through, I spent all my summers on Lake of the Woods that dips into Minnesota up there. Yeah, yeah. Because my whole family's from Winnipeg, Manitoba. So I used to spend a lot of,

and we would drive through Minnesota to get there. Oh, yeah, it's cool. It's beautiful, man. It's beautiful country out there. Do you get back to Minnesota at all? Yeah, yeah, I was just back visiting my mom. How did you, so then, how, was it Twin Cities area,

though, that you grew up? I grew up. I was born in Marshall. I grew up in Mancato, which is a smaller town south. And then I moved during like junior high school up to the suburbs. You know, I was a suburban kid. And did you, so, and then how did you, because you started acting professionally pretty young, like you're like 20s, right? Like early 20s?

Yeah. You were getting work. I was doing theater. How old were you when you did reality bites? Like you weren't that old. That was, I was, I had moved to New York. I'd been in New York for like three years. Okay.

And then I got that. Did you audition for that for Reality Bites? I did. You did? I was doing a play with Ethan Hawke at Playwrights Horizons. Oh, nice. And a play called Sophistry. Yes.

Sean? I don't know that. I don't know. I do. That was a great cast. It was like Anthony Ramp and Callista Flockhart. Wow. When was that?

Dick Letessa. Dick Letessa was in Promises Promises with me. Oh, great. Dick was one of the greatest greatest guys of all time. I mean, he was like 90 when he was in Promises, Promises.

I was like, how are you singing and dancing at 90 years? It was amazing show. Anyway, Ben came to see Ethan in the show because he was, you know, directing him in reality bites, and then I auditioned and I got the part. That's so cool.

Was that a sort of a bit of a career changer doing reality bites? Yeah, I thought it was going to be much more of a career changer. You know, it's like your first movies, you go do them and you come home and you're like poorer than you were. Like, how is that possible? Yeah, right. You pay to do it. Right.

What's been the opposite in your career? Do you think, like something you thought was just going to be a, not a stinker, but it's success surprised you? I would say, you know, like, I mean, a whole lot. I mean, I'm always surprised. I think. Yeah. You know? And then sometimes, I mean,

comedies, you laugh your ass off on set and then you go see it, you're like, yeah, it wasn't as funny as it was on the day. Yeah. I'm going to do Will's shop here.

You can't blame the editor on that. Oh, no, I can't guess what he's thinking about. And I'm not going to name movies. Let's look. Phineas and Ferb. What about... Out of sight.

Night train. Out of sight. You know what? I was really surprised. When I saw Out of sight for the first time, I blew me away. And I had no clue I was in that movie.

No, I was, I was, I remember Cheatel sitting in front of me, he was like, isn't it great? I'm like, I haven't seen it, man. This was like the premiere. He's like, you haven't seen it? I'm like, no, he's like, oh, man. And he, like, he watched me react to the movie. Yeah. It was like, it was really cool.

But like Will said, that thing you do, that was a pretty big career Turner. That was huge for me. Yeah. It was all, it was that Tom, Tom Hanks directed that, right? Yeah. Was that his first thing that he directed?

Yeah. Was it? I think he directed maybe an episode of like from Earth to the Moon, like that HBO series. And three bosom buddies. Yeah, maybe. But yeah, that was crazy because Tom was at the height of the height of, you know,

and everybody that worked on that movie was like phenomenal. Yeah. Was that, I did, I missed it. Was it singing and dancing? No, it was about a 1960s rock band. It was like a one-hit wonder. Yeah, it was a great movie. Was there any musical performance at all in that that you guys had?

Yeah, we played a bunch of songs. We rehearsed. And the song, that thing you do. That thing you do. Right, so, same and dancing. J.B, you've never seen it. No. It's good.

You should see it. It's one of those movies that people come up to me and go, you know, it's like Thanksgiving. My family watches it every year kind of. thing. It's had this super long shelf life. It's funny that movie, right? I mean, it's... Yeah. Did you have to fake the music playing, or do you know how to do that stuff? Well, we were...

That was crazy because Tom and Gary Getsman had his rehearse for like a month just as a band. Yeah. Because they didn't want to waste time, not us screwing up and not being on. So we had to... Seems reasonable.

Yeah. And, you know, when you're back in the day on film and big shots. What instrument were you playing? Lead guitar. Oh, shit. Whoa. And did you have prior experience?

Yeah, but I was just like a a fokey kind of, you know, acoustic guy. But you had a rock guy. Actually, Ben Stiller bought me my first guitar. Did he? Oh, wow. Just because?

Oh, reality bites. Because, you know, I would sit in my trailer all day and he was like, that was really nice. And once you learn how to play guitar. We keep calling him in early and not get into his scene. So let's buy.

a kid, a guitar. Hey, Zion, what'd you do something with your freaking time, okay? Well, you're sitting in your honey wagon. Hey, think about it back then, though. It's like, you tell people now, you have all these devices and things to keep you preoccupied.

Back in the day, man. You're like, I would, like, draw and stuff. Yeah, read books. Yeah. I'd take a nap. I used to be good about reading books back then. Oh. Oh, Sean's got a train.

Hey. that didn't take more than 15 minutes to find That's where Sean's been Congrats Johnny How's that dial-up service? Wait, but you know, I mentioned I'm thinking about like out of sight Like, you know, that

You did with Stephen Soderberg And obviously Clooney And then you've worked with so many You've worked with so many You were Denzel Washington writing in Crimson Tide I mentioned Tony Scott And then I was thinking about Werzerzog and...

I was going to say Werner Herzog. Herzog was... Richard Linklater. Rescue Don, right? Yeah. Yeah, what was it like working with... I've always wanted to ask people. What was Don's last name?

What? No, it's not about rescuing a girl named Don. Oh. I thought she was in trouble. Or he could have been in trouble. Or Don. Yeah, no. Old Donnie.

But it was you and Chris... Right, Christian Bail, rescued Don. And what was that process like working with? How did that movie materialize? It was originally a documentary that Dead Werner made called Little Deeter Needs to Fly about this real Dieter Dengler who was a Navy pilot. His first mission over Vietnam was shot down. Sean's got the cutest little Dieter Dangler.

I'm going to post it later, especially when he's getting in line for a cold shower. Cold shower, sure. Anyway, he gets captured And then he's in this camp And so it was a really, you know It was a really heavy movie And we lost all this weight And, you know, went off into the jungle

But did Werner Hertzsock Was that another one you went in? You read for it, right? I found out that he was doing it And I just told, you know, I called on my people And we're like, I have to meet, I have to meet him.

This is one of my favorite documentaries And so I met him. I went to his house up in like the hills and he wanted to know what I wanted to eat. And I was like, oh, what do I say to impress him? You know, I was like, steak. And so he went, he cooked me a steak.

He's just so good at his skillet. And he was, and he showed me, oh, it was crazy. We had this night. Did he eat two? Did he eat two or he watched you as watch? Yeah, no. No, we shared a steak. Okay, okay.

And then, oh, wait a second. He shared the same plate. I can't remember specifically, but it was very. I mean, was he tarps off or was you wearing a shirt? See, Steve, we bring everything back around. So you keep your knees bent, okay? Okay. Oh, my God.

Yeah. Wow, wait, so you were, so you go up to, I want to know about this. So you go to Werner Herzog's house that he's probably renting in the hills in California. Yeah. You're talking about the movie. Then you agree, and you guys,

he wants you to come and do the movie, or you read from, you don't read from that day. He was like, Steve, I think you're better to play not the lead part. but the other part, you know, I'm like, great, fine. I'll play fucking anything. I don't care. Not so much to eater.

Yeah. Yeah, not, yeah. So, and then it went on forever. It was like, you know, one of those independent movies that fell apart and the Christian would call me and go, eat tonight. I don't think the movie's happening. I was like, fuck. And then it'd be like, stop, stop eating.

It's back on. And, and, and it was phenomenal. It was amazing. It was, I mean, Vernor's, is genius. He's also the guy on the set where you're like, what's happening? And then like a fucking butterfly will fly through, and he in the operator just run off into the woods,

and you're like three hours late. Oh, one time I was in my coveralls and I get grazed with a bullet, and he was like screaming at hair makeup, more blood, boy! He was like, let me do it! And he grabs it. And he puts up all this blood on my face.

and then his hands are covered in blood, fake blood, and he doesn't know what to do. He just looks at me, and he wipes it off on my costume. No way. swear to God. That's cool. Yeah, it was awesome. Wow. Wow.

And Christian was one of the funniest guys that ever worked with, by the way. Really? Christian Bail, yeah. Oh, my God. I'm such a big fan of his. He's so. Yeah, me too. Great and funny.

So talented. Would you do any of that weight gain, weight loss stuff that he does so sort of seamlessly? I mean, what was it, the machinist? Machinist. He went down to look like 120 pounds. You should know, Steve, Jason had a picture of Christian and the machinist on his wall in front of his treadmill. For years, for years.

And he just looked at his goal. As his running towards it. Never worked. Never worked. And then I put up a picture of when he, what was it, when he played Dick Cheney. That worked. That worked for me.

You thought it was that. It turned out it was a mirror. You thought. No, he put on a ton for that, right? I just don't think I can do it at this age. Yeah, he lost a lot of weight. We shot the end of the movie first. So he lost all the weight.

And then he had like a week. I'm wearing Thailand. And I remember seeing him on the street. And he was walking up and he had quarter-pounders in his pockets. No, really. And his cargo pants. I swear to God, he was. With cheese?

He was gaining... Careful, Sean. Cating weight in like a week. Sounds amazing. Wow. Getting all puffy and a lot of sodium. How about that? Yeah.

I don't think... Playing the hamburger. I only did. I lost 40 pounds for that. And you know what? Oh, my God. Yeah. And you know what was really liberating?

It's, um, I lost, I was down to like, you know, whatever junior high weight. And I still had back fat. Yeah. Uh-huh. That's a hard stuff to lose, you know. You know, it's, but it was like, oh great this will never go away unless I'm in like a lifeboat right you know for a month I feel like the back fat is for you know like on the old like

uh I love this you've got a point of view on back yeah let me give you a hot take on this you know the belts the little vibrating belts and the old timey stuff right yeah yeah yeah is that what those are for they just shake it till it falls off yeah maybe I don't understand how those work yeah I understand what made you think of that that I know exactly the conveyor belt thing or the yeah right it's just all backfracts yeah yeah yeah what does it I have a friend of mine who played professional hockey, who will remain nameless. Deion Phineuf.

He played for many years. And I won't say who. And he talked about being in a fight. Friend is Shian. True story. He was in a fight. It's got to be Shannie. It's got to be Shannie.

Yeah, I know you can't confirm her tonight. But so Shanny's doing what? So not Shanny. I'm going to say, not Shany. Okay. Sean Avery. Huge fight in the NHL. And there's a big pile up.

There's a real Donnybrook is happening, right? everybody's going at everybody. Tarps are coming off. Tarps are coming off, eh? Like, guys, everybody's dropped the coopers. You're just going out there. Yeah, right? Yeah, just a real tune-up going.

And there's a big pile, and my friend said he, at one point, he didn't realize who's grabbing what, and he realized there was another guy in the pile, and he had his hand on his back fat, and he just grabbed it and twisted it, and he said he heard from the bottom of the pile, a scream. Not the fat.

They should teach that in self-defense classes. And they ended up calling, they all gave him the nickname Backfat after that, the dude on the opposing team. I swear to God, it's a true story. It's a cheap shot. It really is. Dennis Vaski, my friend who played pro hockey, he woke me out. I slept over at his house and he woke me up doing a double titty twister.

Oh, God. And he was a hockey player. Painful. I don't know what it is. They're such tough, dude. We'll be right back. And now back to the show. Wait, what sports have you played, Steve?

Football and baseball. Oh, you did, yeah. Full stop. That's that. Now, does that make you a Viking fan or a twin fan? I'm a Vikings fan and a twin fan. Oh, boy. Yeah.

So the twins, that's a tough bus to ride on. Cool it, Jason. No, not really. I mean, they're doing good this year. Are they? But we had 87 and 91. You know, oh boy, look at them, reach back. I know, it's pretty far back.

Back when they used to playing the big baggie, right? Wait a second. I'm remembering... Curvy Pucket. 87, you guys beat... Is that that old Dome Stadium and you got... Yeah. It was a great series.

They were probably beating up on Toronto right now. No, because they're... No. No, in the World Series, it was not Toronto. It was... It was... In 87, might have been the Giants. Do you want me to say?

It was like the Cardinals? Yes, it was. Wow. How do you write it? Yeah, I can just remember. Yeah, I can see it. And how you feel, you put it another piece of gun on you realize. How about those Vikings?

Are you looking forward to the Vikings are looking good this year? I don't know, we'll see. I mean, you know. You don't need to get shitty. I mean. Hey, sorry. Hang on a second. We're here with the morning Zoom crew.

Go ahead, Sean. You got another. You got another card to play? Here he comes. Go ahead, Sean. It's just the button, the red one. There you go. Oh.

Go ahead, Will, you got a Flap, Flav, Fwap, Fwap, or something. Go ahead. Anybody? No? All right, we're going to be right back after these messages. No, no, no, no, no.

Oh, God. All right, wait, Steve. Wait, football. You played football. Go ahead. I was going to say theater stories. I was going to get into it because Steve did a lot of theater.

Well, I'm going to ask you a question about football first, but then get a theater story. I'll segue into it. Yeah, theater story. But football, what position did you play? And how long did you play? Because I played as a kid.

Did you? I played junior high and high school, and I was a cornerback, and I returned punts and kicks. Oh, wow. So you don't mind getting hit, do you? I do. You run right into the wall, don't you? I was scared shitless. I actually could not do a, I couldn't do a fair catch because I couldn't coordinate my hand and then catching the ball.

Oh, really? So I would just catch it. And they thought I was a badass, and it was just because I was. It was mentally challenged. I mean, I just fucking couldn't do it. No, I couldn't. I go, wait, well, ah! Now, that, what was going through your head there?

Were you thinking, I can't throw up the arm early enough to get it back down into catching position? Because if I throw up the hand too early, they're not going to see it, you know, right? Because you've got to throw it up late so that they're looking at you, right? But then it's too late to get the hand down into a catching position? Right. Like, when do you call for a fair catch? Am I calling it too early?

Right. And I could make a touchdown. And I'm going to get a touchdown. And I'm going to yell that for that. Sure. Right. I played safety, but I don't know what that means anymore. But I remember that was my position. And I would be so nervous because I'd be in this, what is it called?

Puddle? Shower. No, you know, when you would. Played safety in the shower. Let him finish his story. It's going to be great. Oh, my gosh. I'm crying.

Is there a vest on it all, Sean? Something bright and orange? Just an orange vest in the shower waiting for your folks to come through like a crossing guard, right? No. No, you're in the line of scrimmages. That's what it's called?

In the line of scrimmages. That's a book. You're in the stance. You're in the stance, ready for the book. What is that called? You're in the whatever. And I would be so nervous because I would, the guys,

cross from me would be like, I'm going to fuck you. I'm going to fuck you. I'm going to beat the shit out of you. Whatever they're going to, they're talking shit right before the ball is snapped. So you may have been lined up in the wrong position as a safety. If you were on the line. Yeah. I don't know about that.

Oh, is that what it is? Anyway, I would get so scared because I would be so intimidated that I would take it personally. What did? Did you hear what he said to me? Yeah, totally. That's exactly what. That's why they had you start lining up in the shower. That's right.

I'm going to sue you. Now, Steve, how'd we get to macaroni art As a title of your company there? Are you cooked? No, Rick and I were just, you know, we just want to make shit, basically. Right. And we were like, hey, man, if it's like, we'll just do stuff. Like macaroni art, like his kids, if you blew it to the paper.

Scale of 1 to 10, how high were you guys when you came up with this? Yeah, what was the substance? Six. Six. Okay, good. Thank you for the honest answer. No, but it came quick. When did Sam Rockwell run into your life?

Sam and I have known each other since early in New York. Yep. And then we did a movie together called Safe Men. Sure, yes. Which was really with Giamatti. Yeah. It was a great. John Hamburg's first movie, and he wrote it, he's brilliant.

It's brilliant. It's like, it's one of those movies that I get approached every once in a while somebody will come up and say, hey, that plays, that played it on a loop in our friend house or whatever. Well, now you know, Jason's directing Sam, you probably know that as we speak. Are you directing Sam right now? Yes, sir. Just finished. Great. Just finished.

Oh, you're done with the actors, Jay, but you have to go back and shoot another stuff? We're shooting with two other actors. And Sam himself is probably going to be replaced, but it's not that much to reshoot. This late this late. Yeah, well, I wanted to get all the way to the end to see if he's going to pull it out. And it just never got better. But it's not a lot of scenes.

It'll be fine. It'll be good. Steve, what's your availability? I'm open. I'm good. Wait to go. Back to macaroni art. Do you develop things for other people and other things?

Or just for you guys? Careful, Steve. You're about to get a script in your inbox. I mean, really careful. It's just our stuff right now, it's, you know, we're, We got a we got like a docuseries we did on a chef, Weed and Michael that's in town here. Got it. And, you know, we're doing our own stuff right now.

Every time I think, I keep looking at that art and I keep thinking about my favorite New Yorker cartoon of the one, the piece of rigatone pizza pasta, he's on the phone. He's like, right? And he's got a face of it. And he says, Fusili, you crazy bastard, how the hell are you? It's my favorite I'm funny I was going to say I need to get some

David Cross merch I did a movie of David and it was amazing He's the man He's such an incredible funny Dude

An incredible stand-up too Yeah Now when you're not making Macaroni art And you're not doing Your million things You seem to be everywhere What are you doing

What are you doing with your time Like what's the thing when you're back there that you're doing that's not related to your craft, your art, or your whatever, what do you do? I live on a farm, so I, that keeps, you know, I work on the farm. What do we got on the farm? What do you know? I got a couple horses, I got some goats.

I, uh, I fix stuff. I mow my fields. I, I've just spent eight days trimming all my trees. Do you drink the goat, do you drink the goat milk or anything? No, just point and laugh. Point and laugh, yeah. They're pets. Are they pets?

Okay. And then what, tell me about cutting these trees down. So you're up there, you got yourself like a lift or something? Or do you have yourself a bunch of ladders? No, I have an extended pole saw, and then I have a hand saw. And that's really all you need. That's kind of a gym. And then you got one of those chippers and you get all that stuff on the ground,

then you got to grind it all up? No, then I have a huge bonfire that I start. And when the coals are, you know, you've got to have a real dry one that's got a lot of wood in it. And then you keep the fire going, basically. It's so hot that you can put anything green on top. And so I have a side-by-side, you know, mule, Kawasaki mule. And I fill that up and I go to the fire and I throw it in.

I just keep going. Jesus. I mean, look at the three of us. I have no idea what to do. I'm so worried about getting a callus, just even hearing it. Well, this is a podcast. I put my headphones on and I go all day. Really?

Yeah, yeah. Wow. So you got a bunch of rideable pharmaceuticals. equipment out there. That would be fun for me. You got any of like those handsome green John Deere things? The gators? I do. I have a, you know, big tractor that I pull a 12-foot bat way. That's got to be fun going down to one of those stores and buying those things, huh? Like a real man. They're a little pricey. It gets so hot down there. You're on your tractor, mowing the lawn. But you know what? You get on a tractor and you mow, you just slow down.

It's like forced meditation. Are you sipping on a sweet tea? Sorry. I don't like the sweet tea. I like just plain tea. Sorry, it's all like you. You got any air conditioning on those riding mowers, by the way? No, open. I used to have a cab with AC,

but when it breaks, then it's like you're in hell. Because you can't, can't recamp. When the AC breaks and you can't take the doors off. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Tell me. So, Steve, now you've got Chad Powers.

Yeah. It's Aaron right around now. September 3rd, it drops. Yes, September 3rd. All episodes, season 2. This is with that... That Glenn Powell guy. That piece of ass, Glenn Powell.

Yeah. I love Glenn. He's a great guy. He's a very nice guy. Nice guy, easy to look at. He's got talent coming out the ears. Yeah. He's so fucking good in this show.

Yeah. It's... I'm like, dude, when we showed up first day, I'm like, my God, he's in prosthetics. You know, he's like, playing this crazy character. And it's like, oh my God, man, you've got to swing hard.

This is a big swing, dude. Yeah. Like you can't, you got to go all in, man, or else what do you do? Right. Yeah, you have to. Is it Peyton Manning associated with the show at all? Yeah, Peyton and Eli.

Eli did a video that so many people saw where he put prosthetics on. He went to Penn State. And the only person that knew it was him, was the coach, the head coach. So he's like, you know, at the walk on tryout. And he's just slinging these balls and people. You can see him.

Who's this weird dude that's like 30, you know? So that was the premise that Michael Waldron and Glenn. They pitched it and they said that it's the series. And I read it and I thought this is the dumbest thing I've ever read. This is crazy. Yeah, right. prosthetics? How is this going to work? And it works?

How about that? It's really great. And you got the gang from Omaha are still involved. They're producers on it, I imagine. Payton, you have to deal with notes from Peyton. These two guys. This fucking guy. You know what I mean?

Go ahead. Go ahead. Let it out, man. No, you just got the incomings from Peyton. And it's just like, you know what I mean? This fucking guy. We love Peyton. We love them both.

We love them both. Yeah, those guys. We love all three of them. You know? Oh yeah, and Coop. Will. Well, we love. Yeah, Will, you get Will going on Coop, boy.

We'll be here all day. Have you ever met Coop before? Steve? No. The third. Oh, my God. No, I haven't. He's an absolute jam of a guy.

We love. The Secret Sauce. Oh, you're a secret. It's a fun show, man. I get to play a coach. I mean, it's like, it's like the things, the check marks that you have is like a 10-year-old. Like, wouldn't it be cool someday to like, I want to be a coach? I want to be inspiring and I want my team to run out after me.

I can check that off. You know, I want to be in a Western. Have they done that? Yeah, I did that this season. God, you've played so, I'm just thinking you've done so many different characters, so many different, like in so many different levels. Character actor. Well, yeah, I mean, please, but I mean, like, we should all be so lucky.

We should all be so lucky to be able to play all these, you know, do all these different things. And is there something that's out there before we let you go because we kept you forever, but is there something out there that you're like, I want to do it. Like you were saying, like, you always dreamed to do it like doing a coach, playing a coach, is there kind of a role out there that you're something that you've always wanted to do

that you haven't done yet? I don't, no, I don't know. I really, I mean, I could say, I would love to go back to the theater. I'd like to do that, you know. But as far as like something specific, I really feel like if, you know, I wanted to be in a war movie.

I wanted to be in a Western. and I wanted to experience that. I've experienced all those things. And now it's like, it's a surprise. It's like, do you want to play this guy that's like in silo that hasn't seen anyone for 40 years? And he's basically 11 years old. Yeah. And he's alone.

He's been alone for 40 years. I was like, yeah, that's amazing. Oh, my God. Yeah. And then you just did a movie with your daughter. Like, that's pretty awesome. I mean, you're living on your dreams. Yeah, it's really cool.

Yeah. Good for you, pal. Yeah. Steve, listen, man, big, we're just such big fans. Thank you for showing up for us. We're lucky to have you. Man, thank you, you guys, I was so stoked to be on this. You guys are amazing.

Keep that macaroni art coming, okay? Please. Just send us all some macaroni merch. Yeah, thank you, Steve. Chad Powers comes out. September 3rd. It drops the new season, and she dances is going to be available on Peacock.

Dude, you got it all going on. The great Steve's on. Thank you. Thank you, Steve. Thank you, Steve. Thanks, guys. Good to see you. Bye, pal.

See ya. Steve Zahn, the number of characters he's played. I'd love to put, I'd love to put like side by side all his looks just to be like, wow, look at how different he is in every single. It's just like a mosaic, all the characters that he's played. He's played. Yeah, and then when you pull back, those images of spells Steve Zon. Oh, sorry, Steve Zon. Oh, we don't make one bit, yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you, I, he's one of those guys every. time you turn something, every time he shows up, you're like, oh, yeah, man. Not only am I in good hands, I'm so happy to see him. So many, yeah. How exciting would it be to, like, act in a scene with him, too. Like the very first day, you're just kind of looking across from them. They're about to roll and you're like, yeah, I wonder what's coming my way.

Yeah. Are you ready? Right. Oh, God. The nerves. Talk about nerves. Speaking of getting, no, not yet. Speaking about getting ready.

Willie, looks like you are getting ready to start working. Yes. A astronaut coming up. You got a nice astronaut haircut. You're looking really good. Have you started shooting yet? No, no, we're about a month away. A month out?

Yeah, just over a month until we start. I mean, it's one of the things I'm all joking aside. It's one of the things I'm really looking forward to is you playing that part and watching that series because it's right up my alley. And I can't wait to see you do it. Yeah, I'm excited. My character is not an astronaut himself.

He's a former, you know, pilot, test pilot, whatever. He's in charge of the astronaut program. And it's pretty Is there tension there between the astronauts and you? Like, hey, you can't tell us what's going on. You've never been an astronaut. Is there a line like that? There's a lot of regret.

There's a lot of regret. There's no line like that. I mean, I don't know. By the way, do you mind if we borrow that? Yeah, we'll say, fine, fine with me. So, wait, there's a lot of regret on your character's part because he never got a... We're going to watch.

We're going to watch. He wanted to get up. He wanted to leave the atmosphere so bad. Just watch my eyes. Just watch my eyes. You're going to tell the story right there in the windows? Well, I'm a storyteller. Yeah, with the eyes.

You ready for this? You ready? Sure. It's where? It's where? It's where? Oh, Shani's got more. Yeah, we're going to...

Oh, wow. We'll trim that up. There you guys. There it comes. I just didn't want the train to pass us... Bye! That was great. That was worth it.

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