SmartLess - Wondery Presents: Don’t Panic with Anthony Atamanuik

Episode Date: July 18, 2023

Staying alive in the most ridiculous situations keeps comedian Anthony Atamanuik up at night. If you’re attacked by a swarm of killer bees, do you lay on the ground and play dead? Climb up a tree? Jump into the nearest body of water with a little straw poking out as a breathing apparatus? We could find ourselves caught in a million wild situations, and if you don’t know what to do, you might not make it out alive! On Don’t Panic, Wondery’s new comedy show, super-worrier Anthony Atamanuik brings to life our most irrational fears and anxieties with some of the funniest people on the planet. Along the way, guests will also share what keeps them doom scrolling on their phones, and learn what to do in every ridiculous, worst-case scenario situation that couldn’t possibly happen in real life. Or could it? Enjoy Don’t Panic on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Don’t Panic early and ad-free on Wondery Plus. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery App or on Apple Podcasts: http://wondery.fm/Dont_Panic See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Do you spend sleepless nights worrying about being submerged in quicksand, being attacked by an unrelenting swarm of killer bees, or how you'd out swim an angry giant shark? I'm here to tell you to stop worrying and let Anthony, a tamonic, and anxious and overly informed comedian be your guide to solving your most worrisome what-ifs. Don't panic, a new comedy podcast from Wondery. Leans into our most absurd anxieties and diffuses them with humor and actual advice for how to deal. Should you find yourself facing your fears? You'll laugh, learn, and possibly sweat profusely.

I'm about to play a clip from Don't Panic. Enjoy Don't Panic on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcast. You can listen to Don't Panic early and add free on Wondry Plus. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts today. Okay, we know what you think you would do if you were in this submerged vehicle, but what do the experts say? Okay, so this is an infographic. There's a bunch of steps here, and let's go through some of them. Okay. So first up,

they're instructing you to keep your hands attendant to when you're already crashing into the water. I like that though, maybe because it's protecting you from breaking your arms or anything like that. Like, you know, it's keeping you, all right, I buy that there's something there. This is true and it does say that the impact of your car in the car could set off the airbag system

in your vehicle. Okay, got any other brace position could cause serious injury. Yeah, okay, great. I did not think about that. So now it says, try to remain calm. You have 30 to 60 seconds to act. Before your car sinks, now you said mind you, you said 15 seconds, 15 to 30 for you to catch on to what's going on.

Yeah. So you're at the at the low end, you're done. You're in the water. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, at that point, because it's like, I have to be honest with myself and go like, we're driving and talking about big gops. Oh, fuck, we're in the wall.

Like, you know, it's like, you got it. Like, there's going to be a moment. There's going to be a moment of like, let's just be honest with ourselves. Like, you know, if you're saying we're driving into the water, I'd be prepared for it. But we're, we're going right off. And, and it says, take a couple of deep breaths. You've been doing that. You, you're taking the best deep breaths and trying.

You need to stay focused and act immediately. And you are on buckle your seat belt. Yes. I feel good about that. So that's good. So you got that correct. Now open the window as soon as you're you've unstrapped yourself. Okay. Okay. So don't try to escape through the

door because the pressure of the water and the outside of the door. I was right about that possible to open. Yes. Of course. And now in here we go. So here's your little bolt thing which it says. Okay. Great. And by the way, it's this breaker window if you can't open one, which of course if it's electric, you might not be able to open it. Well, that's what I think about it. Yeah. If you have a little baby, you got to get the child out first. I have to say this why I'm not a parent. I would. This is, I mean, yeah, like, have you ever seen that movie at the, at the avalanche movie? Yeah. Yeah. I force mature. Yeah. Yeah. I love force. Major genius.

That's this crazy Swedish movie where a dad basically runs away from his kids and wife during an avalanche. And I mean, essentially, it masculates himself and then freaks out about it. Now, you see, this is interesting because I think I over complicated myself swimming out the back. This is probably the way to do it. But I'm going to argue that the electric windows aren't going to work, but well, here you go. Well, here you go, actually, and I'm going to go that the electric windows aren't going to work. Well, here you go.

Well, here you go, actually, and I'm going to go in here to this YouTube video. So in this video, this guy is running the scenario. It's like a Canadian guy with his mother. He's running a scenario where they are submerging a car in water, in a body body of water, filling up, it's trying to fill up with water. Oh, he does show cutting the seatbelt. He's like, you've got to cut the seatbelt. I just want everyone to know. And you're watching it, if you're watching, if you're listening to it, this guy leisurely drove into a lake. I'm picturing us shooting off of a cliff and going like this is I've driven into a lake and I just want to point out where this is not if you gave me this I'm all on board with a lot of technique

but this is not the mission impossible version I was expecting. Here he is just a little bit later. Okay. He says he's going to represent climbing into the back seat by doing it. You're not representing it. He's actually climbing in the back seat. Now you see, I did pitch the back.

Now he's going in the back. Yep. Look, there's like a person outside. Do you see them? Yeah, well, they're taping it. But what I don't like about this video, he's not doing anything with any speed. Like he's taking two, like he's doing a TED talk while thinking.

By the way, at this point, he's been in the car for almost two minutes, just sitting. Okay, letting it get full up. So there was a suggestion that you could pull the headrest out to use that to pop the window. Because you need like your thing, that diamond thing. That's a prime thing in all these suggestions is you've got to pop the window

if you can't get out using that that window breaker thing. This guy makes a very good point which is who the fuck is gonna be able to pull out the headrest in this amount of time? A hundred percent. Yeah. And then he has a little glass breaker thing in this keychain and one on his uh, passenger side. Yeah. How many window breakers do you need? This I found interesting. He just shoves it in. He like pushes through the window.

I don't know as much as he smashes it. But I guess that's because it has a very, very sharp tip. Yeah. Basically the pressure shatters the glass. What is he so gently pushing the glass away? And here he goes. And then he swims out to mommy and then tells his mommy

everything that he did I don't want. Hey, mom, that's a good word about. Where are you at, mom? Oh, look, that's yours. Wow. We aren't counting for the fact that a airbag could go off. Right. So you might be, and this is where I started

to freak out watching these, which was you could be pressed. So you have to like figure out, like think about like, this is the thing. It's like, yeah. If it all happens exactly like this, like, all right, so, if you spin sideways, right,

and you go into the water, forget it, like on your side, right? And the car flips over, it could, you could go in top up, forget it. Like on your side, right? And the car flips over. It could, you could go in top up, you know, and it could still go down. Like there's a million variables on how you go in. Can I say none of these scenarios have been remotely close to a scenario that even,

that in any way resembles what might actually happen. I mean, well, can I just say this too? It's like, I think the thing, this is like with everything. Like it gives us some sense of if I read a book about how to escape a bear attack, if I read a thing, I'll be able to do it. But the thing is they're prepared for what is about to happen. It's like like, you like, because what we're not counting for

is the panic, the unpreparedness. Like anyone who's prepared to get out of a sinking car, we'll be able to get out of a sinking car. That's no one is, no one ever is. Okay, so can we put together what we learned and can we get out of this car? You can listen to Don't Panic Early and Add Free on Wendry Plus, join Wendry Plus in the Wendry app or on Apple Podcasts today.

I'm Rex Chapman and these days most people know me for trolling weirdos on the internet, which is fun. But believe it or not, I had a whole career before that, playing basketball in the NBA. I played for four teams over 12 years in the league, alongside so many incredible players, but no matter where I went, there was one guy on every team who was totally untouchable. That was the owner. Plenty of fans don't even know who owns their team.

Who's making the backroom deals and moving players around like pieces on a game board. But every week on OND, we're gonna take the fancy elevator, sneak past security, and find out what it means to be a power player in the big leagues of pro sports. I said, I keep giving the money, but they keep getting the same result. The family is like the wealthy, but un-sixie Kardashians. Follow Old, wherever you get your podcast. You can listen early and add free on the Amazon Music or Wondry app.