SmartLess - "Zach Galifianakis"

Episode Date: May 17, 2021

Zach Galifianakis is upon us. From deep within the Canadian wilderness, this bearded golden-cherub with gorgeously flowing locks helps us see into the future while simultaneously reconfiguring the past. G'Forces of Nature, probably. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, welcome to smartlist. Oh, really good, dude. Really original. Where'd you come up with that? Do you write that? I figured somebody's got to kind of start it, and then something funny will come afterwards from you, too. Happy to start again. Hey, welcome to smartlist. Oh, it's the exact same thing that you did the first time. But I put six S's on that one. Oh, hey there, listener. Welcome to smartlist. I'm your co-host, Jason Bateman, along with Canada's own Will Arnett and Wisconsin native. Oh, fuck, I wish I could fire you. I wish I could fire you from this job. Wait, still rolling, still rolling. Welcome to smartlist. This is a podcast, and we are- Honestly, dude, just say welcome to smartlist. Here we go.

Good morning, fellas. Did you have breakfast this morning? Are you breakfast guys? I don't need to later. I'm getting a little tired of my oatmeal regimen, and I'm wondering what I could kind of maybe pivot to. You have it everywhere, right? Like, no matter where you go, you take that. Like, if you had a man to go down, let's say you were to go on vacation, you go to Mexico with the kids. Yeah. Do you- Well, I'm not taking oatmeal with me. You're not taking oatmeal across. You're not mulling oatmeal across the Mexican border. No, no, no. They got oatmeal all over the place. The problem is that, you know, I'm a little slightly gluten-sensitive, so, you know, if they don't have gluten-free

so then I have to pivot to something different, and I'm wondering- I'm telling you right now, every day, yogurt with fruit in it and grape nuts. That's what I eat. Grape nuts. Grape nuts. Now, see, that would wreck my teeth. And this is what you use the time machine, and you jump back to 1981, grab the grape nuts, and they came back. What a dumb usage of a time machine. You bought a truck full of grape nuts. That's where they all went. Yeah. Wait, why do they hurt your teeth? Because they're nuts. Yeah. They're like ball bearings unless they've been in milk for about a day and a half.

Oh, God. Like your brain. But you still eat them? What about alpin? Did you ever eat alpin? No, granddad. It's like a loosely- God. What about a nice- Oh, you know what I found out from my doctor the other day is that eggs, eggs do not give you cholesterol. They don't- I heard this. Yeah, eggs are- That's a whole wives' tale or whatever. It's, you're good to go with eggs, yolks included. They call it a partner's tale now. Thanks very much. What? They don't call it a wives' tale. They call it a partner's tale.

Oh, God. So fuck off. Okay. You know, anyway, eggs don't give you cholesterol anymore. They used to, but they don't now. Yeah. That's what Jason just said. Yeah. You don't need to re-say it. They got it. No, I'm just saying. But you said it like you owned it. Like you just owned that idea. Yeah, like it was some new idea. You just had it. But Jason just already said that. You said it like it was a brand new thought. Yeah. So we're in a four-wheel slide. We're in a four-wheel slide.

We're leaving the highway right now. I know I have so many thoughts of like stuff that I wanted to say. Oh, let's hear them. Well, no. Any more partner's tales? It's not worth it. Anyway, you know, anyway, that's neither here nor there, but it's kind of everywhere. And more importantly, our guest right now, unbelievable. You guys know this person. This person I once described as Hollywood's least favorite Greek. It's because of Jan and Clooney. There's so many other people ahead of this person. This person, I also once asked on stage why they decided to get into show business.

And I can't remember his answer, but this is a person who never stops making me laugh until he does. Oh, wait. I know who this is. Oh, my God. I hope this is who I think it is. I love hate and you guys know, and in America, adores, even though he lives in Canada, please give it up for the one, the only Mr. Zach Galifianak. Oh, boy. What a land there. There he is. Look at him. Hi, everybody. Hi, guys.

Well, I was praying that you were going to land this fish at some point. I'm just, I'm a real fan, Zach. I'm just going to be quiet and fan out while these guys ask questions. By the way, I apologize for the guest, the guest let down of the special guest let down. I could already see the buyers remorse in your faces. I was hoping I thought it was going to be Jimmy the Greek. And then I was like, no, I think he's dead. No, he's canceled. No, I, Zach, I don't know you probably as well as these guys do, but I do. We have met many times and you're always so pleasant. And I've been a such a fan for such a long

time. Sean, I remember meeting you for the first time. I was doing some terrible bit at a Luna Park. I think I was doing something on stage where it was a, remember that show, the real world? Of course. Sure. I used to watch it all the time. I used to do the real world with just one person in it. And I performed, I performed it live

on stage. It made no sense. And you were at that show and you were very nice to me after that. Oh yeah. I remember that. Yeah, that was hilarious. Wait, I have a question about you being an actor, Zach. Were you ever the type of actor who had some kind of like trajectory in mind for your career and then got sideswiped by like the hangover or something where you go, Oh, I thought it was going to do a talk show

or a standup or a one hour drama, but I guess I'm a movie star now. A Shakespearean actor. Well, yeah, I mean, you're right, Bateman. I did get my start in the London Academy of Dramatic Arts. Is that what it's called? Yeah. And then you went on and you did the real world two-hander at Luna Park and it all went to shit. I played La Crosse at Juilliard with nobody didn't get spotted. Well, no, I think, I think Sean's onto something here. You know, you look, listener, if you

could see the tableau we're looking at, it really does look like he's, he's doing nature hike, running a nature hike business. Is this where, I mean, it looks like you're kind of living the dream. You've sort of, you've staked your claim to Hollywood. You have one and then you said, guess what, honey, we're going to go ahead, we're going to buy an island question mark in British Columbia and just go ahead and take the victory and, and hit fuck it. Well, my wife is Canadian and I've lived on and off in Canada for years, even before I knew her. And I really do like it up here. And they've kind of rejected Will and Bateman,

aren't you Canadian? How dare you? No, I, no, I've spent time there though and I've enjoyed it. I have enjoyed it up there. He does look like he's got like a, like a backpack and he's, and he's taking sticky BCB to weed across the border, like into Washington state. Are you mule? Is there marijuana here? Higher, higher Zach.

Do you put a couple more question marks in that pitch? No, but you look like, I mean, you're living the dream. I'm so envious. Look at you. Just not washed the hair super long. You're in a happy marriage, which I am enjoying here. Some people say that I look like a Jodie Foster with a beard. Who's been saying that? Who's been saying that? Just mostly people online. You mean when she was with Matthew McConaughey? I'm always tracking my Twitter stuff.

Do you, do you, first of all, what do you miss most? Like you, you did all those, you did all those movies, all those hangover movies. Oh, I've done so many projects over the years. So many projects. What do you miss most about not, because you're not working with Bradley anymore? Is it the paparazzi? Hmm. Well, listen, I see, you know, it's tough to get popped all the time, isn't it? Oh man, those paps, those paps with the pops. Is the paparazzi still a thing?

No, because of the, because of COVID and the masks and everything, they, these guys have had to find real work. Huh. Let me ask you this. So Zach, so... I liked my question before about the actor. Well, I know I was going to say the same thing, which I was, something that was Sean was saying. So you come out of North Carolina, all bits aside. No, it's good. Serious. What was the thing? So you moved, you were, you moved to New York with, is that right?

You moved with Miles and Bobby Tisdale. Is that how that went down? And you moved to New York to become a standup originally, just a standup or an actor? No, I moved to New York to try to get into acting and, you know, you read those stories about, oh, I found this acting coach and they took me under their wing. I looked for that. I just could never find that person. I would giggle during... But were you doing standup at the time? No, I was trying to just go to acting classes and I would do plays and churches. I mean, just low end stuff. And then I met someone and she told me, you know, have you ever

tried standup, which was always in the back of my mind. And then I did it. And then I kind of got as soon as I did it, I knew that was kind of the path that I felt most comfortable with. I mean, being from where I was from, you just didn't know how to try to figure that out. So I just moved to New York to try to figure out... Where are you from originally? Paris. That's great. You really work on your accent. Paris.

It's amazing. I'm from Paris. Paris, California. Paris, Ontario. Paris, Epcot Center. If you go left, just when you get in... You think you're right at Barcelona and you're right at Paris. You grab a churro and before you know it, you're in the middle of Paris. What was it

about the standup thing where you go, oh, this is it. This is comfy. Were you killing it or was it the opposite? Was it like crickets, but you kind of liked the terror of that? The first time I did it, I did well and I got the bug. And then the next several hundred times I did it, I didn't do that well. So I think I'd already been kind of got addicted to the high right away. And I was not having luck in the acting realm, meaning I remember acting teachers telling me, this is no place for you to do your skits. Because that was one of the reviews of my acting, I remember. So I mean, you remember Uda Hagan, the HB studios in New York.

Do you ever heard of HB studios? So I took classes there and didn't do well. And then standup just was kind of the thing. But yeah, I moved to New York with AD Miles and Bobby Tiz though. So then it was the standup experience and that sort of flavor of comedy that you were doing there that was succeeding that you thought, oh, well, this is something I really feel comfortable with this, this brand of humor, this sort of take on humor. And then taking that into your characters with acting, do you think made you overcome some of the naysayers like Uda Hagan and all of that, that class? Is that what gave you the confidence?

I think I realized that was more comfortable around comedic persons versus serious actor types. Yeah, that makes sense. But like, like when I first met you, you were kind of, I met you through Miles and you were kind of really doing a lot of standup. And then like kind of, then you did the show that Jason mentioned, that late world. But then you were also pretty immediately, didn't you do a one hour drama on Fox for a while? And then you kind of kept shifting, but standup was always something that you did. Like they were both happening at the same time is my point. Is that right? Does that seem, is that accurate?

Yeah, I mean, I got lucky because I started getting acting jobs. I mean, and I got those acting jobs, not because I was a, I was a terrible auditioner, but I would always comment on the audition process while I was, because I remember when I tested for that Fox show, I remember I would write on the back of my sides. So you would flip the page, right? Of the sides that I've written on the back of the sides. I sure am doing well. Okay, so for the listener, the sides are your pages that you hold during an audition. But Zach, do you have like a really hilarious audition story? I mean, everybody's got one. We just, he just told one. Yeah. Okay. Well, I meant like, did you pass out

real quick? It was just like a general. I thought maybe like a general. Sorry, Zach. But the first time I ever got a laugh in an audition was the first time I auditioned for a drama and they were laughing. They were laughing at me. Okay. And you know, it's one of the situations where did you push through? No, there were 17 people in the room being very judgmental. And I had to play a fighter pilot, you know, in a chair and pretend that it was fighting, you know, top gun style. One hand on the yoke. In the other hand on the script. Yeah. And, and they started giggling. And I can tell they were laughing at me and I stopped my warfare and I looked at them and I said, what's so funny? You put it on

autopilot and challenge, but I also had such a chip on my shoulder being from the south. I don't know. I felt, I kind of felt it was me against fancy people. And I had this chip on my shoulder. Well, and I'll bet it hasn't completely gone away to the point where like truly you've won. You've taken yourself out of the rat race. You've got an enormous amount of respect and success in this community for whatever that's worth. Are you in the process of deciding what the hell you want to do with the rest of your life? Or are you happy with what you are doing as far as working when you want on what you want? Or, or you basically retired and you're just going to run these fishing trips? Well, you know, I became such

a family man and I had kids a little later in life and I just fell in love with being a father, to be honest. And I'm lucky enough to be in a position where I can focus on that work as far as show business stuff. Look, I've always thought I was so lucky anyway, honestly, it's never, if it all stopped, I would still go, God, I got a real opportunity to work and show business that even if it went away, it wouldn't bother me because I feel so, so much gratitude towards being able to work anyway. So it could end and I would be fine. Yeah. And you did it the way you wanted to do it. You were funny the way you wanted to be funny. You didn't have to like fit inside someone else's crap. I mean, you've done what

you wanted to do and everyone appreciates that uniqueness. I think that's just such a win. So that's kind of what my original question was was like, you don't seem like the ambitious type that's like, I'm going to do this. I'm going to go on this audition. I'm going to call this agent. I'm going to, you know, and go after it where you just kind of stayed true to yourself. And you know what? He's a lot more ambitious than he lets on. Let's just be fucking clear. I still hand out flyers at the third street promenade for, you know, my headshots. I have some of those. Yeah, he does get new headshots every three months. Listen, you got to keep up. Zach, you mentioned that you're talking

about fatherhood and I know that your family is super important to you and you've like everything, your priorities completely shifted. Like for a lot of us, when we have kids and you're no exception. And I know that you were really close to your dad used to tell me the funniest stories about your dad and you guys laughed and you would have so many used to talk about Zach and I did this really great movie for Disney years ago. G force. I tried to forget about and the only person who reminds me of it is Zach and my son who's 12. Oh, my nine year old will remind you of it. The guinea pig one, right? Yeah, the guinea pig movie. But Zach, I remember when we were doing that, you would tell me these stories about

like your dad coming on set and he loved craft service. Oh, he couldn't believe that I was that I mean, until just a few years ago, he still asked me, are you getting paid for what you're doing? So you used to do that. And you there were two things. One was that you guys, you and your brother used to could make him cry really easily, which I was thought was hilarious. And B, the other one was, what would you and your brother do you go or your brother would do you go into his office when it was kind of like dead at the office? Oh yeah. So my dad wasn't the greatest businessman sometimes. And you know, they're I remember just going to his office, there was not a lot of stuff going on. And my dad would be

sitting there and my brother and I would sing, there's no business like no business. And my father would laugh so hard. That's really funny. He had such a great sense of humor. You know, it's interesting too, as far as show business and your parents, my father passed away a couple years ago. And sorry about that. That's the other weird thing about it to me. And my dad got a kick out of me being in show business, probably more than even I did. Put it this way, guys. So I'm from a town, a small town. My father, you know how they'll have cutouts of people in movies in the movie theater of the character or whatever, like a cardboard little stand up things. Yeah, my dad took one from the

local theater of me, right? And he stood on the corner of the street with the cutout of me waving to people as if, Hey, this is my son. Guess how I found out about that? It was in my local paper. So he was so supportive. He was such a beautiful human being. I mean, he cried out of beauty. He just did. He was just the warmest human being. I love the stories that you would tell about your dad and you always and you would laugh, but always talk about how much he laughed, how much you and your brother made him laugh was so endearing and such a great connection. And I get that too. You know, I guess sort of later, it kind of hit my dad a little later in life, what I do and how weird it is. But I love that

idea that he cut that thing out like that as a father, I can relate to that. Like I would do that to my kid for fucking sure. You know, you just love them so much. You just think like, and you don't give a shit. You know, it could seem embarrassing. You don't, you couldn't give two shits if it's embarrassing, right? You kind of, you get it now. I mean, the other thing about it is when you get older too, and maybe you guys have a connection to this, man, God, we do a lot. Even though we're not trying, there's something deep in our psyche. Sometimes we really want to please our parents. You know what I mean? That never goes away.

I really want to just the core of me being in show business in a weird way is probably because I loved the sound of my dad's laughing. I mean, as simple as that sounds and is kind of dreamy and my dad watching Benny Hill or all in the family with my father and listening to those laughs. I mean, my dad would laugh at Benny Hill just like he would laugh at political comedy all in the family. That noise that he would make, I think there was a craving for me to hear that kind of noise out of human beings for as much as I could get it. It sounds very corny, but it's true. Does the same stuff make you laugh that made him laugh? Do you guys share the same sense

of humor? My dad was very into physical comedy. The kind of dirtier stuff or the more kind of cerebral stuff my dad wasn't much into. So I don't know. I've got more influenced by all kinds of stuff, but my dad had a great sense of humor and he was very, very jovial. So you wanted to make him laugh. I also get that too. I think that I realize now that the connection that I had with my dad was if I could make my dad laugh, that was such a real, you can't fake it. You know if somebody's not really laughing and if I can make my dad laugh in a real way and connect

with him in that way, that's like a real emotional connection if they sort of commit. So I understand that. That's something that's very, very... Sean, you could hear your dad laugh too, but in the sound of as it's kind of fading away in a car, you know what I mean? Yeah, he was real sweet. Maybe a bottle being thrown out the window. Oh, Sean, I don't know the story, but... It's uplifting.

He left when I was five. So it's just so similar to yours. But it sounded like your dad loved to be the audience while you loved to be the performer. And in that sense, who are you to your kids? Or are you a little bit of both? I'm not the performer in front of my kids. I am the audience for sure. They don't know that side of me yet. As a matter of fact, four and seven. My youngest son the other night was tucking him in bed and I don't know if he knows what I do for a living, but he goes, hey, dad, he's got a weird accent. Hey, dad, have you ever met Hitler in a movie?

No way. Hitler. He goes, yeah, you ever met Hitler? I go, no. He goes, he's a long pause. He goes, he's a pretty weird guy. Oh, I love that homeschooling you're doing up there. Homeschooling. You guys are just into world history right about now? My youngest son, I mean, they both have this, you know, kids are funny, I think naturally, but my youngest one has this way about him that I think he's writing jokes very early

in life. Again, I'm tucking him in bed the other night. My wife comes in and he says, hey, hey, dad, do you ever meet Goring Harman Goring? Jesus. Did you ever get a chance to pal around with gobbles? So my wife comes in to say goodnight to her youngest son and my youngest son goes, hey, mom, leave us alone. It's just me and daddy want to talk. And she goes, okay, and she turns around to leave and he goes, I like the back of your head. Wow.

Right? That's a pretty great joke. Wow. Yeah. It's a pretty great joke. So Zach, Zach, I was just going to say this. So you do all this stuff and then you kind of figuring out what's going to, like everybody else, like you kind of alluded to, like you're not getting work and then you are, and we all know how this is. And especially early

on, you're kind of, you're trying to pay the bills. You do what you can and stuff comes along and I already mentioned we met doing that, this thing, this kids movie. And then all of a sudden you do, what is it, 2008, 2009, you do the hangover and it kind of changes everything. Your life kind of changes. A lot of people know who you are already and you're very popular stand up and you're quite well known, but the hangover kind of takes everything to a different level. Truly what was that experience like? How did you notice that shift in your life?

Well, as far as when we were filming the movie, I remember we were at dinner and I said to those guys, hey, this movie seems pretty good. And I've never had that feeling before in anything I've worked on. So not on G-Force? Oh God, I'll never forget on G-Force. I'd already been working talking to Popsicle Sticks for three weeks. Sure. Next to a green screen. And Will comes in, you know, Will comes in to work, hotshot Will,

and I tell Will a good look. Just as a warning, don't do any of your bits because these people, they have no sense of the humor. They're just not going to like it. Within five minutes, he had everyone eating out of his hand. Everyone dying laughing at what Will was saying. And I could not get them to laugh for three weeks. You thought it was a problem with the audience. I got it. It was all me. It was all me. I should have been Zach's agent. I come in and we're working downtown and he's like riding his bike to some shit-hole hotel in downtown LA and I'm like, dude, what are you

doing? Now I go, no, no, no, you're moving hotels. Remember I got you moved to where I was staying? Do you remember that? That's right. I was like, you can't. You got to treat yourself better. They got to treat you better. That's right. And they offered me a teleprompter on that movie. Oh, no. Oh, were you struggling? Were there a lot of monologues for you on GeForce?

Well, none of it made sense. Sure, I know. It was a fantastical kids movie that didn't, the dialogue didn't really matter and I can't memorize things that aren't... That don't matter. Right. Yeah. When you're talking to a hamster, it's hard to link thoughts together. You know, Jason, you have to understand, Zach and I found out late in the game, this is

true. The director told us one night, I think, he said, well, yeah, we were like, how did you come up with the idea for this movie? And he said that his like nine-year-old son, it was his nine-year-old son's idea. And then we're like, oh, great, we're doing a movie that was written by a nine-year-old. I'd love to see Zach's son pitch out with the sequel with the other kid. Maybe the hamsters save Eastern Europe. Sure. My sons will go nowhere near show business. You understand me?

No. Wow. It took a turn. Bateman's gunning for him. Bateman's gunning for him. So wait, so Zach, so Zach, so you do the movie, you do all this stuff, and then you start doing the hangover and you say to the guys, this feels different. Yeah. So I kind of felt that this seemed, not that it would be big, but it would be something that was funny and kind of fresh. But then the movie came out and it seemed more people can recognize your face and that that's an interesting thing to navigate because

it's an asymmetrical relationship. And if you know who you are already, because I was an older dude, you know, and I wasn't too good with being known stuff and looking back, I'm kind of embarrassed by how I was not good with it. I was threatened by it, I think. How are you threatened by it? Well, first of all, I'm of the mind, there is no culture in celebrity culture, right? So I already know that going in and that whole idea of it in the worship of it is why we ended up with that, you know, Will's favorite president. So you voted for him four times.

Weird. Was there anything about it that you were like, oh, well, actually, this is not bad. Like, could you get a table at a restaurant you always wanted to get into? Did you, did you have a quick conversation with somebody who you admired and you didn't have to, and they wanted to talk to you? Like, some people find certain things about it, obviously the money and all that kind of crap. But was there anything about it that you were like, oh, if it was just this, that would be great. You know, I'm pretty grateful for it all now because it was such a, it was an exciting thing to go through. But the privacy thing is, you know, that's the only bummer of it

is, and I'm not really one to go to restaurants and get a nice table and do that anyway. Right. Yeah. So it was a shift. It was just a shift. And people also thought I was that character. Right. Or expecting you to be funny all the time. Yeah. And to be a wild and crazy dude. And I'm not, I mean, I have been in the past a bit, but I'm not like that. So it was just a process. But now it's, like I said, I'm a little embarrassed how I kind of was angry at that. But it's understandable because it pushes you out of your, your comfort. If you're not,

if you're not naturally a ham, if you don't naturally are attracted to the center of the stage, then it is immediately an imposition because you, you, you lose your anonymity. You can't disappear in a crowd. You can't just, I think Jason that most people think if you're an actor, you want, there's only one type of actor, right? Which is the center of attention, which is, you know, and, and a lot of us are just not that. And there is a difference. Yeah. But, but it's not just the center of the stage. I mean, you want to do, you are a performer

and you, but, but you want to do it under the conditions that are, you know, that you control, that you control, but when you walk home and you're walking to the store or you're doing whatever that, that shouldn't count. It feels like that that's part of the agreement. Like, Hey, fuck, hang on a second. This wasn't part of the deal. And unfortunately, once you get to a certain place, it is the deal. It is the deal. And, but you can't, you can't, you have to know at this point, everybody can read and has a TV and the internet and the social media that you, you know, that's part of the deal when you get into it. You can't not know that.

Yeah. Right. Yeah, that's right. But you can't control the level of exposure and notoriety that you're going to get. You know, Zach felt like he was in the middle of a really good movie. He had no idea whether it was going to be a huge commercial success or not. The fact that it was meant he lost his anonymity and you're, it seems like your whole performance draw, what you'd like to do, it has a very sort of democratic equality type of thing. And when you're on stage doing stand up, you're, you're with the people. You're not up there telling them what's funny.

You're kind of, it seems like you're in, there's a, there's an equality with, with your, with your presence with, with the audience as opposed to I am above you almost literally and figuratively giving you comedy and you better laugh at it. So yeah, that's more of a confidence thing that I've never felt comfortable with even knowing what I'm talking about in any situation. But going back to the kind of being known thing, the other thing is that I always make a joke that, you know, nobody walks up to me that has a doctor smock on it. It's always somebody with a who farted t-shirt, you know, but it's also the interaction that I get is probably different interaction than, you know, a lot of actor types get, which is, this is

all true. I mean, I've had people come up to me and go, I'm so sorry to say this, but has anyone ever told you you look like Zach Galifianakis? That's apologies first. I love how they try to solve it for, I'm so sorry. So Zach, I'm going to ask you the question that Sean usually asks, and I'm going to take it out of Sean's corner, which is, you know, you're up there, you're up living up in the woods and you're kind of doing it your way. And it's great. But what now? Like, what do you want to do? Like, what is, what would be, what would make you happy? What's the perfect balance? Like, if you could call the shot, you kind of can, what would you do? Like,

what do you want to do? How do you see the next 10 years playing out for you? You mean, you mean as far as showbiz work? Work and life. Work and life. Life, I've got figured out. Meaning, I'd love to live in Greece for a while. I'd love to go live in Greece. That's the goal of mine. Do you enjoy still being an actor and being in the business and working and all that, or are you just kind of like, it's a hobby now? You know what I mean? Like, some people

reached that point where they're like, you know, I've worked my ass off. I've, I've made my, I stake my claim and, and now I don't have the fire in the belly as much, or maybe you do. Well, I think to me, Sean, it's, I've always been kind of, or of late, I've been mystified by the, I don't know if it's an American thing of wanting more and more and more. You know what I mean? And like I said earlier, look, Jesus, you're not even Canadian yet. Just cool it. All right. Well, you will never be accepted in America.

I was with Zach when I, when I became an American citizen, he goes, you'll never be American. Never. Never. So go worship that queen, whatever it is you Canadians are into. Wait, you live there. Now you're shitting on it. Do you have Canadian citizenship? No, it's actually kind of difficult to, to do it. It's not as easy as you would think. Canada is pretty strict with that. So, so as far as the life to work ratio, the next 10 years would look just like the last

10 years. That's a, that's a comfortable balance. I think for me, I mean, look, I'm real lucky. I would like to continue working here and there and show business. If I'm, I mean, stand up to me. I can never not do. I love it too much. It just is such a therapy, if you will, for me in a weird way. But honestly, I just really love to garden. I love to be in the garden. And I, I, I think about shows that maybe I'd like to develop. I'm working on something in my head about a show that's kind of like the between two ferns element, but not the same character, but some, it's kind of a low end show like that.

You did baskets as well, right? Like how many seasons did you do on baskets? Four. Four. What was it? It was a great show. Yeah. It was a great show. And you were great in it. Loved you.

What was your schedule? Did you like the way that, did that fit your life doing a show like that? It's a rush. I got so excited every morning when I get up for work and I've always had that with acting. I have always gotten up very eager to go to work. I have to say that. I mean, that part of it is so energetic and I love it. And I actually, I make fun of actors a lot, but I really do love actors. I do. And that whole creative process on baskets and the family, you know, when you work on a show and you like the people around you and you don't want that to end.

No, I don't. No, I don't. No. And I've worked with both these guys on shows and I don't fucking know that yet. You're looking at the clock waiting for it to end. So you know that element of it. I mean, I guess, yeah, you guys know how it is. I mean, that part of it is so, we're so lucky to be able to goof off and get, you know, make a living of it. I remember, Jason, do you remember like I drive on a set at like at Fox? This is the most ever had closest to that was driving onto the Fox lot every morning to do a rest

development and every day like putting my fucking pass on the thing and thinking like, God, I'm so happy. There wasn't a day that I drove on to the lot and thought, Oh man, I got to get through today. Like not one and I, and I missed that because you have those moments now and maybe I'm older and maybe because I look at a lot of things as taking me away from my kids or spending time with the kids. I kind of like sometimes I have a tough time. There's like this kind of adversarial position between my work and my life and I get bummed out sometimes. And so that, you know, if I stay late or whatever, I'm like, you fuckers,

I want to be home. You know, I didn't know you were on a rested development. Yeah. He played the older brother, right? Were you the oldest? Well, I'm pretty sure you were the oldest. Who did you used to look up to? Who are the people that you, when you were young, before you moved to New York with Miles and Bobby and the whole thing, like who are the, who

are the people, comedians or actors or performer? I don't know. Just who are your sort of inspirations artistically that you kind of looked at and said, like, I want to do that. Andy Rice. Andy Rice. Andy Rice, sure. Not a lot of people know that she started under Uda Hagan and then went into politics. Well, we were in a improv group together called Mission Improvable. That's how we first met. I was influenced. I mean, Eddie Murphy, Bill Murray, then later in life, you know, it was

kind of more esoteric type of performers. But I, I had to say, and I've told people this, I was more influenced by my cousins and my siblings or my brother and sister were funny people and we would perform a lot. My sister and brother and I would do sketches about the Iran Contra. You know, we would watch the news and try to do sketches for my parents. So I was kind of more influenced by my family, strangely. Based on the hearings, like the Olly North hearings of Iran Contra? No, it was, I remember my sister was dressed as the Ayatollah in my mom's robe and I was a reporter. I can't remember exactly what, but my family always, we were pretty much

news junkies. But so I, but also you do remember the show, Shields and Yarnel? Of course, always, all the robots. Yeah, I loved it. So I used to copy their sketches when they would do the robot all the time. I did it all the time. By the way, during the pandemic, if somebody comes in, I go, do you have a Shields and Yarnel? I would say that all the time. And people would be like, what are you talking about? Yeah. So they were great. And they were in my Mac. Yeah, for sure.

Okay. So I was hearing all that. So what, I don't know, what was your favorite, like what's your favorite movie of all time? Yeah, all bits aside, hangover three. Yeah. Yeah. Growing up, I know that I'd never really seen anything like Spinal Tap before. When I saw that when I was young, that was pretty because it was, there was a lot of subtlety to it. No winking. That to me was very, that movie to me. And then, Will, I know you and I've talked about it pretentiously is with Nell and I. I mean, I think of people, I think a lot of comedians know it, but I don't know if American movie audiences know, but that

to me is Me too. It's the pinnacle. I really got to see that film. I've heard you talk about that film for what, 30 years now, Will. And I've still not seen it. The perfect film. There's not a wasted moment or scene in that movie. It's really a great balance. It's brilliant writing. Zack knows it too. What's it called? With Nail and I, Richard E. Grant, and it was written by and directed by this guy, Bruce Robinson. It's brilliant. Paul McGahn. But it's such a perfect film, isn't it? Because it's funny and it's

really dramatic. It's quite touching and quite moving as well. Quite tragic. I can't believe you guys haven't seen that. I've never heard of it. So, Zack, so you're there. We can't access you because you're so far away, but we want you back. We really, really want you back. How are you going to do, how do you scratch the itch for stand up? Because you talk about it as a thing that like you, once you get it and you're sort of addicted to it, you are so far up there and you're not living in the city. Like, do you have a hankering to get back out and to, and to get out there and perform, not necessarily in films or whatever, acting, but to do stand up? Like, is that

something you're sort of chomping at the bit to do? Yeah, a bit. I mean, I had this craving the other night that I really needed to kind of try to see if some of the things I've written down would work, even work. For some standups, at least for me, it's not like riding a bike. You need to get your legs again, rhythm, and this is obviously the longest hiatus for so many comics. It'll be interesting to see how much rustiness there will be from comics, or if there was going to be this huge explosion of people just wanting to express themselves and there's going to be a whole brand of, you know, humor that's come out, born out of this, who knows. But yeah, I feel, I feel

I would like to get on stage. But you, you know, it's, it's funny you talk about getting, getting your city likes back because you kind of had this really cool device. You use music and obviously you're very musical and you play piano and you would use piano sometimes in, as part of your act, right? You sort of play a little bit of piano between jokes. That's one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Of course, it's a hilarious bit, but also it must have been really kind of comforting in a certain way, right? Cause there was no gaps.

Well, it's a couple of things. So yeah, I started playing piano and by the way, I don't know how to play. I can't read music. I know how to fake melancholy music. And then that melancholy music, juxtaposed to diarrhea jokes is a combination that I don't know if that's really been done. I don't know, but the other part of it is on the road, it became limiting because I would be 20 minutes at the piano telling these one liners and there's only one kind of tone you can do there. So I kind of stopped playing the piano with my act because I just wanted to go explore some other things. The piano is a little limiting that way, especially when you're not musically

that inclined, which I'm not. Well, you could have Sean, Sean could come in a company to you because he's a pianist. I just in the background, Sean, are you, are you classically trained? Yeah, I thought that was what I was going to do with my life. I studied it about 25 years, 20 years. No kidding. Yeah. Well, listen, Zach, we've taken it.

Go ahead. No, no, go ahead, please. I think you're going to end it. Go, go, go, go. No, I was getting ready to go into another boring thing. You haven't talked to anybody in months. Go ahead, say one more thing. No, this is what I, what I do, I only do podcasts so I can talk to adults. Sorry about that. Were you doing podcasts? Yeah, sure.

I got a guy, a guy, a guy called me last week and this was weird. I picked up my phone. It was a number I, this is also how lonely I am. I'm answering phone calls. I don't, I don't recognize the number. Okay. Yeah. Hello. This is Zach. Can we talk? And so this guy calls me and he goes, Hey, Mr. Galvanakis, I wanted to know if you'd be on my podcast and I went, who, who, who is this? And he went into this description of who he was, some guy that has a podcast and I go, how did you get my number? And he goes, the white pages. Oh no way.

The white pages. That doesn't exist anymore, does it? Up there, I guess. He was lying. It was just funny. He cold called me and I mean, I was pleasant to him, but it was weird that he cold called me to be in his podcast. Maybe I should just do it anyway. Got to be pretty funny if you fucking did it. I think I will. Call him back. Can I sign you guys up for it too?

Yeah, of course. Yeah, that'd be great. Of course. I'll just tell him I can't do it, but I've got Sean Hayes that's dying to do it. I'm in. Well, fuck, Zach, we won't take up any more of your time. Thank you so much. Thanks guys. You're such a prince. Thanks, man.

Thanks for having me on. Very nice of you to do this. It's great to see you. And well, we'll talk payment. Yeah, we'll talk payment. We'll talk payment. Email me, email me an invoice, all right? You do e-transfers? Of course.

Yeah. Yeah, but through, we do it through the Caimans. We, we miss you, man. We'd love to see you back in town at some point. You're the fucking best. You're such a great dude and so much love to you and the family. And thanks guys. Thanks for doing this, man. So good to see you Zach. Be well. Thanks Zach.

All right. Bye guys. See you buddy. Bye buddy. Gosh, that was so fun having Zach on, right? Out of the, from, from the wilderness. Yeah, that is, I gotta tell you, it's a, it's a real, real fantasy for me. Just kind of, did you guys ever fantasize about just unplugging and just plugging in at another place on the big blue ball? All the time.

And, and just kind of starting over. Yeah, for sure. He, he's so like, I don't know him. Like, I'm gonna, like, I'm gonna obviously, will you know him? But he, he just seems so down to earth and normal and chill and such a great family. And yes. And Jason, to your point, I was like, wow, I envy that, that you could just go up to Canada or whatever country and just kind of check out like that from the business. Yeah. Yeah. He's, he's, you know, he's, I guess, you know, he pointed out, so his wife is Canadian

and obviously as a Canadian, I love how much he embraces Canada and really appreciates not just the wilderness, but kind of Canadian sensibility. And, which is funny because he used to make fun of me for so many years for being Canadian. And then now he's there. And I just, I love it so much. I cherish every time he talks about being Canadian. I'm like, yeah, of course you fucking dummy for years you fucking clowned me and now suck it. And then you know what, maybe I'll have him kicked out. Yeah. Maybe I'll have him kicked out.

It is so flippin' pretty where he is. It's gorgeous. Oh my God. I've never been to British Columbia. It's so green and all the eagles and the bears and the fish and the, I mean, it's just, it's everything. It's so spectacular. Well, first of all, the air, you know, you get up there in British Columbia and off the coast.

It's like the valley. It's a little better than the valley. It's kind of like Seami Valley. Yes. Like in the summer. Yes. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like Northridge, really, yeah, it's lush and lush. You're just, you're just ripping off all the hits from the valley.

Panorama City. Oh, no, it can't touch Panorama City. That's in a different league. Yeah, you're right. But I love him. I'm such a huge fan. He's so. He's such a unique talent.

Right. Yeah. I mean, he's just like, he's done it all. So dry. So dry. I forgot to ask him about between two ferns. Is that completely done now? He's not doing that anymore.

Is he? I think that it'll never be done. Is kind of probably. Never be done again. Oh, never be finished. No. Never be finished. Oh, I hope not.

Yeah. Something that great that only comes, comes by like every once, once every 200 years. What's that called? Oh, bye. Bye, Antonio. You idiot. Smart. Nice.

Smart. Nice. Smart. Nice. Smart. Nice. Smart. Smart.

Smart. Smart. Smart. Smart. Smart. Smart.