Smosh Mouth - #111 - The Character Episode

Episode Date: September 22, 2025

Angela, Chanse, and Shayne explain how they generate characters! Go to https://www.Zocdoc.com/SMOSHMOUTH to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to https://rocketmoney.com/SMOSHMOUTH today. PODCAST: https://bit.ly/SmoshMouthSpotify https://smo.sh/SmoshMouthiHeart https://bit.ly/SmoshMouthApple  0:00 Intro 6:36 Sponsor! 7:54 Looking back at our characters 24:11 Sponsor! 25:40 Character pitches SUBSCRIBE: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshCast WEAR OUR JOKES: https://smosh.com  WHO YOU HEAR Shayne Topp // https://www.instagram.com/shaynetopp/ Chanse McCrary // https://www.instagram.com/phatchanse/ Angela Giarratana // https://www.instagram.com/angelagiovanagiarratana/ WHO YOU DON’T HEAR (usually) Director: Selina Garcia Editor: Rock Coleman Producer: Amanda Lehan-Canto, Shayne Topp, Selina Garcia Production Designer: Cassie Vance Art Director: Erin Kuschner, Josie Bellerby Stage Manager: Alex Aguilar Prop Master: Courtney Chapman, Abby Schmidt Art Coordinator: Bridgette Baron Audio Mixer: Scott Neff Audio Utility: Dina Ramli Director of Photography: Brennan Iketani Videographer: James Hull Camera Operator: Reagan Frazier Assistant Director: Jonathan Hyon Executive Vice President of Production: Amanda Barnes Senior Production Manager: Alexcina Figueroa Production Manager: Jonathan Hyon Production Coordinator: Zianne Hoover Operations & Production Coordinator: Oliver Wehlander Production Assistant: Caroline Smith Director of Post Production: Luke Baker DIT/Lead AE: Matt Duran DIT/AE: Beni Kimuene Post Production Coordinator: Ariana Martinez IT: Tim Baker IT & Equipment Coordinator: Lopati Ho Chee Sound Editor: Gareth Hird Director of Design: Brittany Hobbs Senior Motion & Branding Designer: Christie Hauck Graphic Designers: Ness Cardano, Monica Ravitch Director of Channel Operations: Lizzy Jones Channel Operations Manager: Audrey Carganilla Channel Operations Coordinator: Sabrina Lieberman Director of Social Media: Erica Noboa Social Creative Producer: Peter Ditzler, Tommy Bowe Merchandising Manager: Mallory Myers Social Media Manager: Kim Wilborn Social Media Coordinator: Margaux Bernales Social Editor: Vida Robbins Brand Partnership Manager: Chloe Mays Brand Partnerships Coordinating Producer: Liz Kummer Operations Manager: Selina Garcia Talent Coordinator: Danielle Moses People Operations Specialist: Katie Fink Front Office Assistant: Sara Faltersack CEO: Alessandra Catanese Executive Producers: Anthony Padilla, Ian Hecox EVP of Programming: Kiana Parker Coordinator Producer of Programming: Marcus Munguia Associate Producer, Special Projects: Rachel Collis Executive Assistant: Katelyn Hempstead OTHER SMOSHES: Smosh: https://smo.sh/Sub2Smosh Smosh Pit: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshPit Smosh Games: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshGames SmoshAlike: https://bit.ly/Sub2SmoshAlike FOLLOW US: TikTok: https://smo.sh/TikTok Instagram: https://instagram.com/smosh Facebook: https://facebook.com/smosh

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Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connix Ontario at 1866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. But MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. Hi, welcome to Smosh Mouth. I'm Shane. And I'm Injula. And today we're here with Chance McCrary. Hey, what's up?

Hey, what's up? That sounded like a soundboard. It is a soundboard. Hey, what's up? Uh. Hey, what's up? Uh. Nice. Thanks.

Your turn. Brough. Brough. Yo. Brough. bruh they're all they're all like there's like doubles oh there's there's only like two why would you double up buttons yeah i don't have many sounds oh angela here we go ladies and gentlemen we got them have you ever ever seen that

press that one again please have you ever ever seen that she actually she did Can she go back? Oh, yeah. What's that one? You're a lady. What's the first one? Ladies and gentlemen, we got it. No, switched.

It switched. That was pretty good. That was pretty good. That was pretty good. That's a fun game. That was a fun game. Look at this. We're already generating little bit of games.

Oh. A little bit of games. It was so like millennial white woman. Oh, no. Don't do that. And that is what I am. And listen, I have been nonstop. Stop giving people the cringe today.

Jesus. Like something's wrong, y'all. Amanda's got to come home. Oh, baby, home. Bring her home. Don't do that to yourself after you just, you finally nailed the intro. Yeah, I like, I'm gonna nail it on the last one.

Yeah. That's a little hint at my character arc. Speaking of character arc, speaking of character, hey, good transition there. Today, we're gonna talk about characters. Just everything, because we do so many. And I want to sit and talk about them. Because it's not like even a right, we're not talking about writing, and we're not talking

about acting. We're talking about like character generation, which is a type of writing and a type of acting that I think we all do here a lot. And I'm excited to get in the weeds because I have a theory just jumping off the bat that I have stopped kind of generating like well-written characters. Okay. Just because of here. What do you mean?

I am now kind of like, like I think back on my Baff legacy characters. And I'm like, those were like built people. Yeah. That like, sure, we never built them like a day before. It was kind of morning of and then we were kind of going as we went. But like now, if I do a games video as a character or a BitCity or anything, I am like barely thinking of anything.

And I am jumping in the pool. Well, the Baf legacy was there was the nice time zone. Like you knew the time period. And so you're like, what would I be like in that time period? Yeah, but I'm not even, like, I think some characters I love to, like, get in the mindset. I'm not even doing that anymore. I'm just going like, blah, whatever. It's really hard nowadays.

We move too fast. Yeah. And then also, like, things elevate so quickly. Yeah. It's like you started a character, and it needs to, like, kind of reach its climax and have a big punchline within that first video that it's in, that you can't have a slow build for a character. Like, could a Sarah Christ be made and generated? in a smosh video nowadays. It's like gone.

It's gone too quick. Like that is so much more like, I don't know, you think about like the old formats. It's different. Everything changes, right? It's art, right? So it's different.

But it's like sometimes I think the characters I'm doing here are just like, like blah blah, that's it. Sure. You know, like instead of like a, like the chosen is a mindset. And also the chosen like in so many of our videos, I think maybe it's just a matter

of slowing things down a little bit because like characters Does that feel grounded and real have a hard time keeping up? I've had fun this year just because I think you've just been hosting so much that I've gone to get back in that swing of creating characters and like having them sit on the couch for an hour. So I started and I was like, okay, jokes, joke, jokes, what's the game going to be? And I found that it got easier and easier as I switched to the mindset thing.

I was like, okay, what would they, like, what would they be like in the more casual podcast setting, what would this character do or say, like, even off camera? I also feel like you and Courtney are similar where you guys cook on a look. Yes, you need to be immersed. You guys are like back there, going back to T&TL, you like, chance you are always look first.

Like you put clothes on and you go, who is this? Who is this? Yeah. And you're like saying that out about it. Everyone sees with their eyes. You see unless you're hearing it. But like, if you can see the person, you're like, okay, what would that person be like? Yeah, sometimes I go the opposite. Sometimes I'll, like, think of a bit

and then I'll dress the character. Yeah, I think my, when I'm at my best, when I feel most comfortable with the character, it's an intention. So, like, with the chosen, it's that everything I'm saying has to be, it's the most badass thing ever said. Yeah.

And then with, like, probably the most recent character that I felt strongest in, like, within was Stefan King, my, like, Stephen King's son character, where I'm like, everything I say is the spookiest thing you've ever heard. he's going to scare, like what I'm saying is the most treacherous

like torturous thing anyone's ever thought of and then like no matter what I say off the top of my tongue it's gonna be like the dumbest shit ever but because that's my intention it's then funny to me it's going back to point of view and I feel like that's like honestly

to me what a strong character is is you're showing me like just a good POV yeah like I don't know if it's if it really matters to me about the voice sometimes that'll sell it for me too but if like if I get to see what I think is so smart about The Chosen is the way they live life and the way life looks to them and how

different that is to me. And that's what makes him a character. And he's like a very real person, right? Yes. I think a lot of viewers relate to him because it's like, yeah, like we all feel like that sometimes. Like people dress like him at cons because that's the energy they're bringing at cons. The Chosen is who I am for the 30 minutes after I see an awesome movie. Yes. Like, you know, like those, when you're leaving the movie theater, walking to your car, you're walking a little different. Yeah. You're like still might have superpowers.

What if I am Paul Atreides? Yeah. You know, it's like you're thinking those dumb thoughts. You're like, I know this is stupid, but let me immerse myself right now. This episode of Smoshmouth is brought to you by Zok doc. It is that time of year where I need to schedule my next annual checkup. It looks like you do. It looks like you need to see a dentist, a dermatologist, a therapist, your mother.

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and click to instantly book an appointment. And I've done that before and it was amazingly easy. Was it easy? Because Shane, sometimes it feels easier to just like go on my algorithm and follow health trends and be like, okay, I'll do that instead.

No, I think you should leave it to a professional. And with Zoc Doc, you can search for the professionals that you need. Time is running out. I'm getting old. I'm worried about the health of my knees, Shane. Okay, look, we're all getting older, but it's okay. We're not that old, but it's, hey, no matter what, it's always a good time to go see a doctor. It never can hurt. So, stop putting off

those doctor's appointments and go to Zockdoc.com slash Smoshmouth to find an instantly book a top-rated doctor today. That's Zoc-D-O-C dot com slash smoshmouth. Zocdoc.com slash smoshmouth. I think the timing was pretty good on that one. I need a doctor. Back to the show. You're so right about the look. And I was thinking it's also not just the look. It's the way the character moves through the universe. It's the way their body moves too. So I feel like I get it in my body too when I'm doing really good character work. And I'm like, how does this person carry themselves? Where do they carry tension? And how does that affect how they think? Like, how does the blood flow to their brain differently because they're hunched over or because their chest is back? So

they're breathing a little more so they can boom a little louder when they speak yeah that's like I think like when we're back there for T and TL you and I are always kind of like like kind of wrestling in front of the mirror yes and I think like remember that one T and tail there wasn't a mirror yeah and we're like

I can't I need to like look at it and be like who is this yeah that's really important too but then sometimes all I think of premise based characters that like for people at home I think it's like it's like when I'm like oh that character was talking about in the last episode of Smashers, where I'm like, oh, it's a girl who shames people who have been seen movies. Like, that's a premise. That's not a P-O-V. That's a girl that's like, at the end of the day,

the POV is, she is, um, I'm saying this all wrong, but like she is insecure that everyone around her is young. It's like what I go back to and I patternize that. But like, yeah, so it's, it's fun. There's so many different ways to generate. Yeah. So what else about that girl? Like, what oh if it was not just game if it was character what would be character descriptors exactly yeah because i went in through that door like i i do feel like i go through different doors of different types of generation character generated it's also like just i think what's tough too is there's so many times in smosh videos where it feels like we got to get to that punchline yeah yeah it's like i need the laugh i need the laugh that you can't just like trust to just sit and

like this is just generally funny um that's why game characters are to me feel safer because no matter what I go oh I know this is funny because this it's what you see a lot nowadays like you used to see more like kind of like rounded characters that are just like oh this character is just funny to watch even if there's not like oh here's the joke of their character yeah like what's molly shannon's superstar yeah like there's no like there's like punch there's punch lines but it's just like she's weird in so many ways yeah right um i think like christin wigg had so great characters, right? That did have a punchline, but like, like, Target Lady was just, like, ridiculous. And you're just like, well, I kind of know that person. Yeah, the observational ones

where you observe something that you see in real life, I love that way of gender. Oh, yeah, 100%. When you just go, like, because that is, to me, is Target Lady, is like, that is someone, like, I've seen the real person. Or the Trader Joe's characters. I've seen a lot of people do those, where it's like, oh, there is a pattern here that we all can share and not really talk about, but we see in our day-to-day lives. Yeah. To make something that you could send that character anywhere, and you just are like, oh, I know how they would act there. Yeah.

It's like the best. Getting the cadence, too, they all start to talk the same way. They try to communicate their thoughts the same kind of like Trader Joe specifically. Like they all kind of have like a flirty, upy cadence. So you start to notice those patterns and then get it in your voice. And you're like, okay, what is it that they sound like? What are they doing? Yeah.

And how can I copy that? And what does it mean for me in this character? Yeah, but it's so funny, because I, I so wish, that's why I do love working with Amanda and you and, like, I love the physical people because I think I started training in character stuff with such a, like, like, joke. What is the joke? What is the, what is the justification? Yeah. Kind of dramatically getting into it, like, when Courtney gets really locked in to Dominic Petron, completely just different person. Yeah. And it's not even about, they're not trying to be funny a lot of times. They're just like in it. I love her character's. where she's like, I can't get out of this guy. And she's not doing jokes. She's just like, I'm Vincenzo.

It happened to me with Isaiah. I can't get out of Isaiah ever since I've done him. It's like now a part of my normal way that I communicate. And he was actually based on my brother. Don't, I hope he doesn't know that. Don't tell him that. Don't tell him that. Isaiah from BitCity episode Boy Moms.

Don't tell him. Guys, please don't tell him that. Please don't tell him that. He doesn't need to know that. but the cadence I understood my brother and how he would want to communicate things and so now it's become a part of me

where I'm like I can communicate this thought so much easier because of this character work I'm discovering the character which is a real person so it's like this observational thing I'm like what were they what are they trying to get across and now I do it it's so crazy it's interesting I have characters where like

I know there's aspects of people in my real life that come through even though like the voice will change all the time. I have my like, I call it just my Aunt Carolyn character, but it's like, oh, it's just general, like, older lady who's just chill and, like, funny and has no filter, right? Because we all have

a family member who's, like, inner 60s, 70s, zero filter has good intentions. It's the best because they trust themselves enough. It's like, they're not going to... And they've lived through the 60s. So they're just like, I, they're like, I don't care. Like, whatever. Yeah. They've had everything said to them.

But I realize, like, as I do it, I'm like, so often my grandma comes out. That's awesome. And I'm just like, and a little bit of my mom too, but like mostly my grandma, the way she's like sarcastic. Yeah. And says things. I'm like, that was just my grandma. Even though my grandma never drank wine or anything, but for some reason, she has wine. Like, she's

aspects of things. And I'm like, I even see where like, oh, the cartoons I watch, like, that will influence the voice. And I'm like, I'm not trying to copy that. It's just like an amalgamation of a bunch of things that have influenced me. What was the first character you did on Smosh? The very first I'd say the first big character

that ever came was Courtney Freakin Miller. Oh, wow. And that was because Courtney was sick one day. And they had a show back then called Seriously Super Stupid Sleepover. It was her and Olivia that would host it. And Courtney was sick. And they're like, oh, Shane, do you want to co-host instead? And I go, well, should I just put on a wig and just be

Courtney? I was like, should I just do that? And they're like, sure. And so all we had was that, like, Rod Stewart, like, rocker hair metal wig. So I was like, well, this is like an insane version of Courtney. And I'm like, that's all I put on. Otherwise, I was just me. And then I decided I'm just like I'm gonna just be the most intense

I can be with every line I say And then it just kind of elevated from there And it became this kind of like wrestler Just insane thing But so that's not like There's not much like There's no groundedness to that character It's just I'm gonna put this on

And what's the most insane thing I can say I think that there's something to be said about Like my first one was Bazanka And I think it was like I think it was truly like I don't know like going really extreme and screaming like I'm thinking about Courtney Friggin' Miller

and I'm thinking about Buzonka like like your first when you don't really you're not really comfortable like coming in with like I don't know grounded observational comedy on a YouTube channel where you don't really know anybody and you're kind of like what if I just like high status I love high status characters we get to that later but what was your first character

on Smosh Moth? I think it was Baccah Baccah. It was Baccah. Oh yeah It was therapy. There was a series called therapy. A couple's therapy. And Ian was James Cameron and I was a blue avatar. Right, you were an avatar.

The amount of aliens you played. Oh, I love you. It's so funny. I've never played an alien and you played like 10. By design, Shane. And I'm close to getting the pride flag. I think I still have a couple more colors. Is that been your goal?

I have, there's been my goal. the entire time. I have purple, blue, yellow, green. You don't have red. I know that. White. Mr. Beast. Do I not have red? I think you have red. Oh, I forgot the pride flag is added.

There's a lot more colors than just. Yeah, let's get into that. You're trying to get the light. I want all the alphabet. Nice. Yeah. Nice. I think all you have left is red. An orange. Orange. Orange. Is yellow Mr. Peanut?

Yellow is Mr. Peanut. Blue is Bacca, purple is Sprax, white is Mr. Beast, green is Elfaba. Wow. I didn't know that was a goal. Yes. That's so funny.

How long has that been your intention? I think it's been being Aaron's intention for at least eight months. That's crazy. As members of the writing room, of the writer's room of BitCity, it's good to know this. We'll just pitch off of...

This is very fun. I'm going to pitch you orange. Well, I've been, we have been pitching characters. Okay, Chester Cheetah. Yeah. I'm like, or like a salamander, so I'm pink. Are salamander's pink? They can be, I think, almost anything.

What's that weird, lizard? Not weird. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say weird. Axel waddle. Sorry to the lizard community. Angela, you know an axel, right? Axel waddle. No, that's a, she definitely is a,

that's a ridiculous one. That's a ridiculous one. It's like this pink lizard with like these. It's a weird. A pink lizard? Yes. Is it a lizard? A Barbie lizard?

Enfibian? Look at how cute. They are very cute. She can't see that. She ain't got her glasses. That's so far away, Selena. That's crazy. Chance, I think to this day, Mr. Peanut is still my favorite of yours because he is mysterious

to me in that I don't know his intentions, but I know that you know his intentions. Oh, 100%. Like, he's very Jack Sparrow. He's so, he's, but there's a devious nature to him. What? He is. He's like a genius, but not a genius. There's charm.

There's charm, but there's deviousness to him. Yeah, there's deviousness. You're like, what is his intentions? He's like, oh, he's like, oh, he's like, oh, God. My theory, I do think on Smosh, if someone were to be like, what's a good, like, what makes characters successful in Smosh versus not? Because I think about this all the time. And I do think high status.

I do love low status characters. Like, bug is low status. Grip guys. And I love. Grip guys are low status. Definitely. They're super low status. Yeah, I guess so.

But I think in the room, I don't think they act like they, that they're below people. I think they're very front-footed. Like, I don't even mean, like, political or, like, economic status. I mean, like, confidence. Like, do you feel... Like, I know bug comes under, because, like, I just want to please, right? And that's still, like, a confident move. But, like, versus, I think, like, I think the chosen.

I think Mr. Peanut, these guys are like, I am right, and they could be very wrong. I think, but they believe them themselves. I would say that's maybe by design of, like, how long our content is, hard to have a low status character travel for like an hour and talk for an hour. It's very possible though.

Yeah. Like no, there are a lot of low status characters that I think are really good. Like Zay was low status. Should we explain? Yeah. Should we explain, yeah? Like what the difference between low status and high status? And I think I just mean, I don't mean like economic status. It's a mindset thing. A high status character like the chosen

thinks he is, he is in charge. He thinks he is smart. He has the answers. Whereas a low status character is like, Like, it's kind of, I, I've always equated a little bit to intelligence, like, on a general plane, like. Or like, like, it's not even intelligence. It's like, willpower. It's like, how much will do you want to impose on the rest of the world, on the universe? And how much are you just taking in? Or, like, yeah, I keep going back to Bug because it's like, that character's like, I just, I am not where I want to be yet. Yeah. Versus some characters that are like. And I'm not willing, I'm not going to murder random people to get it. Yeah, like, I just want to, I want to train. I want to be better.

Versus like, I love watching Real Housewives because I think they're all high status. But they're wrong, right? And that's what's so funny to me. Like, my favorite characters are the ones with the craziest mindset that think it's normal. Yes. So the worst ones on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette when I watch that.

Yeah, and it just makes it, it's so funny to see someone that's like, I believe this thing. Reality stars are good when they're that way. I will say on Survivor, everyone has to be, everyone is secretly high status. Yes, but you can't. You cannot let anyone know that you are high status because you will get voted out. And the people who are like, I'm high status are voted out so soon or kept along to the end because they are an easy, like no one's going to vote for them.

Interesting. I'm about to do a dread, a live dread. And it's high schoolers, right? And I was like, where are you guys in the cool? Like in high school, there's a status, right? And it's like, that's how I relate to you, is like, are you a nerd? Like, you know what I mean? Like, that's how your character looks at the world is, are you cooler than me?

Like, does that make sense? I now realize there is only one low status character that I've played that I feel very good about. I haven't done it in years. But, like, I was like, okay, this is the only time where I've nailed low status and I can be in the room. And is my Mr. Muffin's character. Oh, my God, I've never seen him. What is that? You've definitely seen him.

He's the old white crusty dog that I've. I used to play him a ton I haven't done him in years You did it for Garrett's funeral Yeah and his whole thing is just He's just like I'm Mr. Muffins I keep living in spite of wanting to die So bad like it's just like

I'm like you see an old white crusty dog There was a compilation I saw on TikTok Of all these bits that I had done And I was like man I forgot how much I love this character And everybody was just replying In the comments with photos of their old white dogs Oh no Oh my God

That's so good And it's like that's you know the type dog I'm referring to and I'm always so sweet but they're always just like I'm so kill me they're like I meant I they can't take me outside because every animal wants to eat me yeah like it's just like just just like so bummed out like bummed and like not trying to take charge of the room because he has no goals yeah yeah I don't think there's one better than the other I think sometimes one hits harder in like sure in like content when we're moving a mile a minute but yeah I love low status characters it's really hard but they are my favorite

characters when you can nail it like they're so fun but they're harder and they have to want something really big or else they become they come off like some i did notice early on in my like when i was doing characters at ucb if they didn't have a strong want and they're kind of just like whatever it's hard to love them and attach to them i think that's why it's so hard to navigate through our content with that right because we have to keep pushing stuff along yeah yeah that makes sense. I just feel like they respond really well when you have a bunch of high status characters. They balance

it out, especially energies. It's usually like a softer, slower energy. Yes, absolutely. Yeah. I wonder, yeah, I feel like BitCity, it could be fun to try to introduce more low status characters. I think that would be huge for it. But it's hard. It's hard to come up with it. It's hard to think of them.

You said before we started rolling that you have a bunch of character pitches from back of the day. Oh yeah. I mean, I don't know how do you guys do it? Like, when you think of something, I don't know, there's so much to talk about. Like, do you see something that makes you go, oh, that's a funny character? Or if you, like, meet

somebody or you think of something, do you have a notes app? Because I, all my friends have one note on their notes app. I create a new note for every character. Oh, that's insane, Angela. But I would have assumed that's what you do. And I do that. So how do you find everything?

Because now I can find that the label is the character. Like, waitress who's being hunted, and you You open it and waitress who's being hunted, but it's empty, right? Okay, but that's just all you need it. But why wouldn't you just have a character's note? Because I'll never find waitresses being hunted. Now I kind of just go through like an Excel sheet.

And waitress who's being hunted came from one of our improv workshops. For the list is at home, it's not at all like an Excel sheet. It's a big list. It's a long list. There's nothing Excel sheet about it. There are no columns or rows. That's actually, it's one column. Let's get Keanu in here to tell us about Excel.

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Back to the show. I just kind of made a new one for this episode. Oh, that's fun. Oh, that's fun. Does anyone wish to share one? I just remembered I have a journal at home. What? Of my characters from high school.

No. I love that shit. And I would unearth it, but I feel like I'm scared. Oh, I'm very terrified of Tennessee's straight chance. Oh, I don't want to hear what he's creating. we don't want to see those characters. I kind of want to see these characters. All set on that one.

Let's have a BitCity episode where we open up the journal at the beginning and it's us going into the journal. Let's see straight chance. Build it. No, no, no, no. Tennessee straight chance. Scary. Wow.

I have. The Jack Daniels of Chance. See, but now I have, because of this, I have everything dated. Like in October of 2024, I thought of girl on a trip with no itinerary. That's, okay. That's amazing. Yeah. I love real characters.

One that I feel like hit recently that I did not expect to hit was I think it was Noah in the stool and trying out to laugh and I came out just wearing sunglasses and like a weird hat and I go like I'm washing my hands at a sink in a public bathroom

just like man those fajitas and I'm just like that's a real guy that is a real guy I'm making conversation in the bathroom I've also found when you talk about appearance like being completely honest as like a very stereotypical just white dude sunglasses and a hat

can change so much depending on what kind of sunglasses and the way you're wearing your hat and the hat itself is massive. Because like the Chosen has a specific type of sunglasses but you change those sunglasses up and I'm a whole new type of guy.

And it's like what I do think is common amongst white dudes with sunglasses is that clip begins here. Thank God we're talking about the hard stuff. And clip starts now. Yes. If you have a man who's 40 to 70 years old and he is wearing sunglasses

and you are out in public and he's walking around he's going to talk to you. He's going to say something. And you don't know what it's going to be but he's going to say something. Like is that not the connective trope? And it's like if he's wearing a cap,

how he's wearing the cap. It's like now I get a better inkling of what he's going to say to me. Okay, well let's do a little roleplay then. All right. Here you go. You can wear it forward. I need the sunglasses.

All right, well, let's see Scott. Here come Scott. We can find some sunglasses. Let's find some... It's going to depend on what the sunglasses are. Guys, I'm scared if we add props here, someone's going to have to... No, we can't do this.

Just the hat. Just the hat. Just the hat. Forward. Forward, what's he going to say? Forward, though, like, this is a... You can't find him. Come on, dude. I can't see myself, but forward is a whole specific vibe, right? Yeah. Like, there's maybe, like, more conservativeness

of safety to this guy. Okay. Family-oriented nature, maybe. See, these are... This guy is cool. This guy's cool. I don't think this guy's cool. These are not the type of sunglasses.

I don't think this guy's cool. Scott? I'm literally Scott right now. You look like you work at the Tom's store. And then this changes it. Now I'm at Valcerf. Oh shit. Now we're at Valcerf.

Now we're at Volcom. Yeah. Is that a thing? Yeah. What's Volcom? It's a skate brand. Wow. Skate brand.

Okay, skater girl. Rip curl? What? Was it rip curl? Yeah, it's still around. Wasn't there a girl rip curl? Rip Girl? Yes, there was.

Roxy was girl, Rip Girl. And the logo is like a flip on the logo. And it's a pink wave instead of a blue wave. Yeah, 100%. And that was my first understanding of gender. Anyway, here we go. That's how it works.

Let's see it. But this is a guy, and then this is a guy. Yeah. These might be kind of similar guys. Sideways? No, these are different guys. That guy? Oh, hell yeah.

Wait, put it backwards. This guy has bad taste and coffee. Put it forward. good taste of coffee This guy doesn't care about coffee This guy's like yeah I'll have whatever This guy's ripping a morning beer Whatever yeah

And then this guy's like Well you know we need to get our crew together This morning we need to get to the set This guy drinks espresso tonics This guy drinks water Turn it backwards This guy doesn't drink water No

He drinks a bang These are two completely different types of youth pastors Oh yeah Yes And I've had both This one Who is this? Is this He's like, let's get a slime pool for summer.

This guy's, I think this guy's just not thinking about a lot. We're going to have, like, ice cream Olympics. Yeah, and then this guy goes, um, let's talk about your journey with Christ. Yeah, or this guy's like, I, I think Iron Man represents Jesus Christ. What? Or like some type of big metaphor with cinema. Okay. Accurate.

Yeah. But these sunglasses, these are not the type of, these are, ray bands don't work as well as like, you know the types I'm talking about, like sport. Sunglasses. You want that? Like that's a type of guy. Who's she? Oh.

Now this is... Put the glasses on? No, I'll do that later, but who's she? Versus who's she? Oh, she's cool. God, this is an audio medium. I know. I know.

We can't do. I didn't intend to be this intense. Okay. But it's amazing, like, how subtle things change everything. Because, like, so many characters I want to play are, like, sunglasses. But I'm like, so many dudes who look like me. sunglasses are so much of their personality. Yeah.

And so I'm like, that's a big thing. Like, that's a real guy. Or their car. Or their car. I have one character. And you kind of know, you kind of know what kind of car a guy drives based on the sunglasses he's wearing.

Oh, wow. I have one character that I've... Tell me I'm wrong. I can't tell you you're right, Shane, but I mean, that's a scary thing to open up. Yeah, I know. That freaks me out. I think I'd understand the world a little bit more.

I have this one character that I haven't been able to really crack. My friend, Brett, used to help me with him. But it is a, um, I think I have a TikTok of her It's either a guy or girl And it's a girl with tattoos Instead of a personality But it's hard because that is low

That is like The bit was that she has no personality So it's really hard So there's nothing there I just like play her And I'm just like So what does she talk about? It's like you need the Wi-Fi password

Yeah it's it's Wi-Fi What's up? You love movies? I do too I think you can get a little more specific than that Yeah It's just all the like surface level things.

And I think it's like being covered. I think that's a visual one. That's a physical thing. And I think it's like, because it was based off of this bartender we had. She just looked. Like she's covered face and everything. No, it was this one guy and he was gorgeous.

And he was making us our martinis. And he was covered in tattoos. And we all just me and my roommates at the time just wanted to talk to him. And then we talked to him and it was just like, what? And it was like, oh, his look, it makes him so much cooler. And then we were like, who is that guy? And then we were like, we were building off of that, but that's like, that's just a...

It's unfortunately, it's a trope that's been done to death, but you see it a lot in L.A., unfortunately. I'm not trying to be mean, but you'll see people who are just so ridiculous looking. Yeah. Where it's like, oh, you're so, like, hot that your entire life, like... That you don't really have... They got you into so many doors that you didn't have to develop stuff. Yeah.

That doesn't happen all the time. There's tons of people I've met out here who are like, it's just like, what the fuck, you look insane man. And then they're like the coolest person on the planet. Because, like, hot people can be funny. No. Hot people can be funny. I draw the line right there.

You're either hot or you're funny. And where do you put yourself? Divergent. No, like, it can all happen, and it's like, it like pisses me off when it does, but it's like, you know, it can be real. But you meet so many people out here who just like, you're like, man, you think you are so smart and so like. You think that you're layered. You think that, yeah, you think that your personality is so deep because everybody gives you that conditioning. It really is the worst when they have such confidence or like, have you ever been to an audition with someone or seen someone audition for an improv troupe or any type of scenario where they've gotten by on their looks?

Yeah. And they've gotten, they usually get the thing that they want because of their looks. Yeah. And then their day of reckoning comes when you're behind the judging table. and their skills aren't nearly to the point that they should be. I'd still pick that over anything. What?

I'd still pick what? And I'd give anything to be them. I'd be so hot. Just let people down, but look stunning. Yeah. I'm kidding. Okay, so I'm reading my shit. Let me hear some of yours.

Because I have girl with no... Girl on a trip with no itinerary, which I can't crack. I love that, though. But I can't crack that one because... Because that's a girl who's on her eat, pray, love journey. See, no, but I think... girl who's searching for something. Sure, but what I think is more funny to me is a girl,

like this is inspired by a girl on a trip that I went on where I was strangled by the itinerary. So I almost think it's easier to play the girl that's like, and then we're doing this. No, so you have to have the, wait, sorry, I was getting into the. Exactly, but I almost think this might, another take I have on this is a girl

who needs an itinerary on a trip with people who don't have an itinerary. Sure. And she's like, are you and I, are. When are we eating? Like, you know, I don't know. Wait, really. I just need to know what's going on.

Yeah. That drives me crazy. I love an, sorry. Are you an itinerary person? I like an itinerary as a roadmap that we don't have to follow. Oh, okay, that's great. We need rules to have freedom. We don't know what to do.

We don't know where we're going next. There is the itinerary that we can fall back on. I like that I think the way that Courtney and I operate a lot is like we have like an itinerary day and then we have a non-itinerary day. Oh. We do that a lot. So how do you, how do you figure out what? Do you freak out at all in the non-itinerary? Because it depends on the type of vibe we're going for,

but it's just like, all right, we're just, today we're just going to, like, wander. Like, let's just go out and let's just like, and, like, there's no wrong answers. Yeah, there are two edges. And so it's kind of fun because then you discover things that you weren't planning on discovering, right? Like, you go fully itinerary. It's like, we're going to see what we plan on seeing, but what is there to see in the city that we don't know about? And then you find, like, the weird quirky things.

Yeah, there are two edges of hell. And one is a bachelorette trip with a big itinerary and a bachelorette trip with no itinerary. Sure. And I've been to both. And I think I would actually pick the one with the itinerary. Oh, yeah, for sure. Because, and that's how I thought, I was like, oh, there's a character here, but I haven't been able to crack it.

It depends on what the goal is, though, because if you're on a trip where the goal is to, like, see stuff and do stuff, it's an active trip. And then there's, I need to relax, and I need to get out of my head. And then it's like, you don't want too much an itinerary because then it becomes work. But without an itinerary, I have trouble relaxing because I'm like, should we, like, there's like a prep that I'm worried about. like I'm like should we have made reservation you know it's like I have um this is girl at a music festival getting hit by a ball oh that's good it just like girl who gets hit by stuff is I was at a music festival and they were these the beach balls that you like hit up in the crowd and there was this one girl she's super short like shorter than everyone around her

it's like you think she would not get hit but the ball I'm not kidding hit her from the front And she's like, oh, and then we're like, oh, kind of laughing. She, like, picks it up. She hits it, not two minutes later from the side. Nails her, and she's like, ah. And she's like, you can, she's kind of getting perturped. She hits it up again, and it was like two minutes later, and she was done with it. It came from a different side, but it hit the same girl.

It wasn't targeted or anything. I love that character, because if she's just like, like, just kind of in the moment, like having fun character, but she keeps getting hit by she. We need to do that somewhere. I just want to see her running. The setup should be like, it's so great. Like, I'm so glad to be on this date at this concert with you. It's like, I love, she's like, I love Steve Aoki. And it's like, you have the set of that you know Steve Aoki's going to hit her with a cake at some point.

And there's like two people next to her who have like, hit me with cake. And then she's just there in the middle. And you know it's coming for her. And she's like, it's okay. I'm sure it won't hit me again. Have you seen Steve Aoki clocking people with cake? Wait, what? Oh, this is like my favorite.

thing on the internet. So at Steve Ayoki concerts, it's a thing where at parts of his concert, he comes out with a giant sheet cake. People will have signs being like, hit me with cake. They'll have big bullseye signs with their head in the middle. And he'll come out with a gigantic sheet cake. And he just smashes him with it? His aim is impeccable. He will throw this cake like easily 30 feet. He's throwing it and nailing people in the face. Do they want the cake? Yes, yes. People now want it because they know it's a thing that he does. So he comes out with these cakes and he just like curls them. So then what? You're the idiot with you? cake on you for that. Oh, are you kidding? I heard this

three seconds ago, and I'm a cake girl. I want to be slow. I just learn what this is and I so deeply want to be hit with cake. Oh, it's like Steve Ayoki hit me with cake. A lot to unpack there, but I don't even truly like to buy concert tickets, but I'm seriously going to look into it. Oh,

my God. It's so fun to watch. Because his aim is truly unlike anything I've ever seen. He one time, a dad had his son, his like, probably eight-year-old son on his shoulder, and Steve Yoki hits the kid with the cake and it hits and the kid's all that he like I want to be that kid I love that we can hit you with some cake I love that if she's just like the most peaceful girl she's so chill she's so chill but she keeps getting hit by things she like gets in her Uber and it's like a thing up the window and she's still it's strapped into the seat next to her I love that her bed is like she's normal the world is wild but everybody knows like I feel like we all know okay and they're always five people tall. They're so small. A girl that stuff just happens to it.

They're just like, yeah, I don't know. And they're just used to it. Yeah, they're just like, yeah, this weird stuff just happens. See, some of these though are dog shit. Like this one, girl who doesn't have a birthday? Cool, Ann. She's pissed. Like, was I fucked up when I wrote that time? Sorry, you're zero years old. Yeah. Um, okay,

can I tell you what? Girl whose birthday's on leap year? Yeah, and that's her whole person. Such a pike thing. I'm sorry. Shut up. Um, okay, can I tell you one that I'm very excited about? Yeah. So I I told Tommy about this. So, you know, the pet boys? You know, pet boys, the auto center? Yeah.

It's the three guys. Like, you know, I was like, what if we have a bit where it's like someone's car is broken down and the pet boys come out, but they're just like the three stooges. So it's like, oh, I need my oil change. And they come out and they're just like poking each other's eyes and slapping each other in the face and like twisting each other's nipples and stuff. And then like, and then suddenly your oil's fine. And they go, brim-rim.

One of them puts their mouth on the tire thing. suck the oil out of the leg like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boon. It's just like these idiots. I had a guy come up to me at Jiffy Loob last week. Literally opens my door, right? Pull up, opens my door. He goes, have you ever heard of James Cameron?

First thing he says to me. Okay, but have you? And I go, uh, yeah, yeah. It goes, I met him once. What about that, huh? That's awesome. That's the most mechanic thing you could say. Literally off the jump. That's awesome. I still think about what Damien said about mechanics where it's like, it's the one job where there's

like written down rule of how much things cost. They just are kind of like, yeah, so I guess that costs this. Wait, they're just freeballing it out there. A BitCity episode that just is set in a jiffy loop. Actually, Jiffyloob. See? We can crazy. Mechanics are, it's like the one profession where they decided their personality

is the same as it was a hundred years ago. Like, they're just like, yeah, we're operating the same way we did back then. Do you have one chain? Okay, I Really want to play this This is perfect for try not to laugh But I want to find other ways to do this Don't burn it

Guy who's waiting on your machine Or Guy who's waiting Like in golf Like just a guy who's waiting on For you to be done That is the worst Go do something else

And I unfortunately have to be that guy sometimes When I'm like, it's the one machine But like there's just a way Some people do it where it sucks Where you'll just be there Or like say you're golfing Or say you're doing whatever and there's just a guy

nearby just like I know exactly who is. This is not bad this is not bad. No, no, whenever you're done. That one is bad. Now once they've engaged. Yeah, yeah.

No, I try to be on my phone. I try to not look too much. I try to just be nearby so that nobody else takes it before me. I got iPad kid at the restaurant. Oh, good. You would crush that. iPad kid, oh yeah.

Just go fucking nuts. iPad kid's a real thing. My fingers just covered in ketchup. And the iPad has to have one of those, like those, it looks like crocs, like a crox case where it's blue and it's got bumpers and like, here's what I want. I'm going to pitch off this. iPad kid at a restaurant taking your order. So he's like got the, that's what they do the thing is it, but he's just ketchupy and he's like watching a YouTube video while he's going to the table. He's got that pulled up as well.

I love that you did it because I was going to say I have all these lists of things that aren't really characters. They're just like half a pitch. Yeah. And they need someone to be like, boom. Yeah. But I love that. He's taking your order, but he's an iPad kid. He's like, hey guys, what's up?

And he's, like, playing some video really loudly. I love Buzz. I like iPad Kid, but then you look over his shoulder and you see that he's actually solving, like, complex equations. He's like, doing that. You're like, oh, my God. This kid's a genius. I thought you were watching Mr. Beast.

Yeah. iPad Kid, but he's watching Smosh Pit. I have Oracle Baby. That's such a you thing. I don't even know what that is. You get into the, like, the metaphysical law. A baby that sees the future. kind of.

Okay, but can you communicate it? I mean, can babies communicate? How old is this baby? I'm thinking like baby baby. Oh, little tiny baby. So like it does things, it like kind of sees things and it like kind of like tries to warn you. Okay, wait, hold on.

So it kind of like tries to warn you? It tries to warn you, but it's just like, what does it do? Like it just has like, it's a torturous existence. Yeah. Wait, that makes me think of a fun thing. It can barely like lift its head, sorry. I think of a lot of people who who don't necessarily do

we do but love character generation are d and d people oh yeah who because that's a great d and d character like okay the baby's gonna be oracle yeah and what's fun about d and d generating is going in from the spells or going in from the type of like yeah instead of like like like and i usually go the opposite where i'm like i want to figure out like their state of heart and their status and then i can figure out so just something to talk about i like i love yes mine's still physical it's like What does that guy look like? Like Coda? Yeah, Cota.

Yeah, you wanted him to look a certain way. And I couldn't care less what Bug looked like, but I wanted him to be like not big. But that's also because, yeah, I think the place that Cota's from, his society cares about what he looks like. He has to present a certain way because he's held to a certain standard.

But that didn't come first. What he looked like came first. And then you justified what he looked like. You know what I mean? No. Oh, no? It went the other way. No, you're wrong.

You went with your backstory first with your D&D character. That's amazing. It's pretty cool. Yeah. I have, okay, this was a sketch that I wrote a long time ago,

and it's more of a game than a character, but I think there's a character there is couple's therapist who wants to be their third. Oh, that's great. So like, it's a couple's therapist. It was a sketch where like the couple therapist is like listening to this couple

and they're talking about like, yeah, we're having these issues, like our communication's bad. The couple therapist is like, you know, maybe you should experiment with like, I don't know, like having someone else in the bedroom. Yeah. Like, I mean, I could, you know, like, say it was me.

You're like, it doesn't, obviously. Okay, tell me why I thought a couple's therapist was two people. And now I'm thinking, like, a couple who's a therapist? No, there's something so funny. We're going to a couple's, we're going to a couple's therapist. And it's like, all right. And she goes. They kind of like, so, and how did that make you feel?

No, I was going to say the exact same thing. Yeah. You're so cute. I think it made me feel small, you know? There's a tilapia in the fridge from last night. If you want to go home and eat that up. small let's talk about that yeah I felt kind of small I felt kind of insignificant is everything is there how are you guys doing what how are you guys doing oh this is more about you yeah we're just here for you have tilapia now we're just being mean no that's really funny they have like going to a

couple's surface it's like oh no it's a couple who's it's like I want to echo what my wife just said how do you feel yeah good babe good babe that's so fucking funny that's really good god damn Do you have any people that you want to do, like, impressions of really bad? Like, like, celebrities or just anyone that you were like, that I want to play them. I feel like there's someone we talked about recently that's like... We both always want to play pink. Pink? I've never heard of this.

She's a musical artist? Yes, I know pink. I just changed our lives. I wasn't expecting that. Yeah, I just think it's, she just makes us laugh. And you have to compete to be who's pink. You'd have to be, you'd be doing the acrobat. the twirling.

Okay. I'll absolutely. Suspun me from her rafters. I've been saying this for years. Oh, here's one that I have twice. And it's girlfriend watching her boyfriend's band. And she's just like... Oh, that's so legit.

She knows all the words. That's disgusting. And she's like, barely moving. I tried to do her once live, and I just, like, played a song, and I tried to keep it up the whole song. And she, like, knows every word. But I kind of, like, lost steam a little bit. It'd be really funny if the band is really shitty

and their lyrics are really fucked up and like, like, really misogynistic lyrics where it's like, wait, he's talking about cheating on you. She could also get mad at people for like, yeah. Literally, yeah. Looking too close at the band. Because that came from a personal thing where I went with my friend to see a band

and it was a guy she had just started dating, but she had been listening to his music. Ew. Like she just, you know, it's not bad. She just like, she had a fat crush on him so she started listening to his music. So we go to his show and she knows every fucking word. And I was like, you have to.

Stop singing the lyrics. You're blowing your fucking shit. Oh, man. But it was so funny. You are picking a lot of, you're making a lot of characters that I think are very chosen-esque, right? Where they're main characters.

They're like, I'm the main character right now. Yeah, I mean, those are always people. It's like, high status. It's always people that I'm like... The book is being written about me right now. Literally. Like, that's always the best character. Yeah.

How about Mr. Mushroom? Mr. Mushroom. He's like a... Explain. Yeah, sure. He's like a big, he's a big mushroom. Okay. And he like gets mad when people like order mushrooms at restaurants. Why is he mad?

Because he's a mushroom. Oh, so he's a mushroom. He's a mushroom. So he's mad that people are eating mushrooms. You're eating one of me, man. You're eating one of me. Hey, please don't. That reminds me of tomato doctor, which is not a character. Tomato doctor.

Oh, yeah. It was what happened when our old sketch team where it was just a really bad pitch that I pitched. And I didn't realize, like, when you have a good enough team, they're going to make something really bad kind of work. Yes. And I remember being like, I had a dream, but tomato was a doctor. And they really, oh, my stomach.

And they really made it work. I'm laughing at tomato doctor where they come out of the operation room and they're covered in, like, in what looks like blood, but they're just like, it didn't go well. They're just covered in pasta. I got like a big red thing. It was huge, and it was just, it was just a slice of life, like. We just really, like, a slice for one.

That's awesome. That's awesome. It was straight up Gray's Anatomy, but she was a giant tomato. That's pretty incredible. Yeah. Can I tell you a celebrity that I really want to play? And I think about this a lot.

Michael B. Jordan. How'd you know? Let me guess. Whoopi Goldberg. Michelle Ewn. Keep going. I'm going to make this list. Michelle Obama. Okay. We got this.

Whoopi Goldberg. Did you say that? Yeah, I just said that. I'll play her again. A sequel, bring your back Okay, what are you going to say? Okay, actually though, Michael J. Fox That would be awesome. Yeah, you would kill that.

If anyone knows who that is. Back to the future. The Joker. Huh? You're thinking of Mark Hamill. Oh, shit, you're right. Yeah. You're just thinking of legends from the 80s.

Yeah, I am. He does a great Joker, though. Who does? Mark Hamill does. There's an old actor that I only know of because he was portrayed in Looney Tunes a lot. Okay. His name is Peter Lorry, and he died like in the 60s, right? But he was like a character actor from way back in the day, and there's this iconic, iconic shot from Looney Tunes, where it's him, like, at a table, just like looking extremely, extremely long.

What the hell is wrong with his face? He looked like a fish. Well, he was a very, like, character actor. Like, he was very interesting looking man. He would talk very, and he would talk very interesting. where he was very quiet, but kind of had this, like, devious nature to him, where he'd talk and be like, yes, it sounds so interesting. Like, it was, like, kind of like a weird.

Igor? Yeah, like, I wonder if, like, so much of how it's portrayed is based on him. So much, like, characters were inspired from the way he talked and stuff. But, um... I like that one inspiration for you because that came from the picture. Yes, like, and, like, I remember how he talked. Like, it's ingrained in my memory how he would talk, like, at least the impressions in these Looney Tunes. Yeah. The way he'd talk, he'd be like, that makes me laugh.

It kind of sounds like the bat from Anastasia. Yes, I think so many things are inspired from him, right? Because this was back in like the 30s that that character was happening. But I love it. And then I, it's also like it's these low status types of things. And then another one that I want to portray, and I'm trying to figure out how to do it is Edward Allen Poe, I think would be so funny. Like, just as this like pathetic, kind of like a Mr. Muffins almost.

Like Edward Allen Poe I picture just like the most depressed I feel like a crow Okay I'm gonna pitch off of it Edgar Allen no Oh yeah Edgar Why am I saying Edward

Edgar Allan Poe yeah Edgar Alan no And he just kind of says no to a lot of things Yeah he's just like No No Are you going to the Are you going to the game tonight?

No Yeah No I'm just gonna like I'm thinking about Lenore Oh again buddy You're eight What

He's eight years old. You're eight. We're in a submarine. Toddler Alan. Toddler Alan Poe. That's a good one. I have, um... That's a good one.

Shut up. Oh, an autopilot. Yeah, that's a good one. Shut up. That was good. Edgar Allan Poe just freaks me out. Edgar Allan Poe just funny to me. She gives me bad vibes.

It's creepy. You guys? You guys? You guys? Wrote really scary things. Oh, here's a character. I just like the idea of playing. Brittenly Mulligan.

Oh, that would be. be funny. That's good. There you go. Do it. I just love, I think Tommy's Ripley character just really has inspired me and just like playing like old actors and characters that we don't really remember how they sound. So you kind of have like free reign.

It's kind of like Amanda's Babe Ruth where it's like, yeah, we get the idea. We kind of know what he, yeah. We all think we know what he sounds like, but do we? Who do you think the Jersey Mike sounds like? That's a good character. I've had him run down since 2022.

Jersey Mike. But who, like, what do you think? What do you, like, what do you think? I don't want him to be a regular jersey, Mike. You know what I mean? Like, like, okay, imagine this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're, you're on a plane and it's like, guys, the captain is, is, is, the captain's passed out.

You're like, and, and, and, and, like, he stands up. He's like, he's like, I can do it, but I got to do it Mike's way. And he goes, we're going to land this plane. Mike's way. Open the engine. Drench it in. olive oil. Some vinaigrette.

Sprinkle some oregano, maybe. Yeah. All right, where's my chair that I'm going to sit on? Okay, put some bologna on it. I'm going to sit on it. Where's the tomatoes in this? I'm just laughing at like Mike

being like the solely in so many situations. But he's doing it, he has to do it Mike's way. That's the thing, it's like, hey, he can do it and he's got to do it Mike's way. We needed to do a craniotomy. And he goes, we got a brain surgeon that could do it.

I'll do it Mike's way. Open up the brain. Give me some olive oil. And it works. Every time. Olive oil, every time, too. That's so funny. Jersey Mike.

I also love, like, people that we just don't, they're not like a real person. It's just the name. So, like, free reign. Exactly, like, Edgar Allan Poe, like, Jersey Mike. Well, Jersey Mike isn't a guy. I bet he's a guy. He's probably some dude at some point.

Quiff Latifah. Oh, nope. Quif Latifah. No, no, let's go. Let's go. I think, I think Shane should play quifletifa. You would kill Quif Latifah and I go, yeah, that's a great, that's a good one. I don't have that.

You see you deleting. Quip Latifah. In 2022, I wrote girl whose boobs are watermelons and refuses to let her guard down. What if what's going on with me? Well, how could you let your guard down? If there's a fruit ninja nearby, shing, shing, tink, tink. Guy who's writing a script at a coffee shop Because that's a person we see a lot

And they're in the corner And they're not writing They're just sitting there Oh, it died I feel like the guy Who is writing a script at a coffee shop Has now evolved into podcast guy Yes, you're so right

I think they're separate guys There's very separate guys to me I also feel like same guys to me I feel like guy with a scarf on Is a real thing Like you only see it in romantic comedies Like dudes are not wearing scarves how dare you scarf

Scarf Nation rise up I feel like you're just not seeing guys in scar Maybe you know what I can't say that That's me being biased by living in a hot Really? But even in wintertime you just don't seek But it's never cold enough here for scarves Oh my God

Should we Should we generate some? Yeah That's what I'm kind of doing now I'm off book But I'm like let's just like Ted the loquacious gardener Oh okay

If you want Or I can keep pitching. I got more. I got more. Your pitches are fascinating. Yeah, they're all like, God. Oh, I did do this one on my TikTok. Groom Zilla.

Groom Zilla. Oh, yeah. Well, oh, so instead of a bridezilla, it's the groom. Yeah, but I couldn't really figure it out. I feel like the nightmare version of a groom is always the guy who doesn't give a shit. But I think that's not nightmare, though. It can be bad in a way, right? A guy who needs control and he, like, needs it to be a certain way.

Or a guy who just wants to correct. He doesn't want to make decisions, but he just wants to correct whatever. But then when I think about that, I'm like, Bridezilla isn't funny to me. So, totally. The only thing that's funny about this is just turning it on its head and be like, a man who's difficult, huh? I get that.

And that's why you scoff at it. Yeah, that's why it's like, yeah. Like King Louis the CK. Whoa. That's like Queef Latifah. Some word play there. Some word play. Okay, get them in a room together.

And then I just have a note in this notes folder that's my zip code what does it say my zip code or is it your actual zip code okay you just have your zip code in there I must have forgot it and been like I gotta write it down when I moved I don't know that is crazy that reminds me of when I was a kid when I first heard about like social security numbers and it's like you need to have that memorized and I was like oh what if I just got it tattooed

oh my this one that I really yeah one that I really want to nail is the wedding photographer, guy at the wedding. What is this? Because those guys are fucking ninjas. I actually would love for you to do it. What do you mean they're ninjas? They're literally, like, you don't see them.

And they're in like business cash, right? And they just are all over. And it's like guy at the wedding who's trying to get the shot. They have a lot of straps too. And he's all over. Yeah. Or it's like, we've had,

there's a photographer that we work with sometimes and he's always like, he's always seeing pictures. He goes, now, now look over there. Oh my God, boss. Boss, boss energy, queen, queen. And see he's like, scooooo. Yeah, it's truly like... Yeah, I love photographers

because it's such a mindset that I love where they're obsessed with like just getting the photos of things, right? And they're almost like, they're not self-aware in a way where they're totally focused on the world around them. Yeah, they forget that. And it's why they're so good at like

kind of just maneuvering around because they're not trying to be seen. It's truly a physical character where I could just, like they're just doing, like they're jumping and they're, you know. That's really funny for like any episode that we do of just like, oh, and by the way, we have a wedding photographer here. They're just going to be getting photos, so don't worry about them.

And they're just in the whole episode, just like, around. And he's just going nuts. Yeah, and then we release the stills. That's really funny. They're all terrible. They're really bad. They're blurry. horrendous.

They're like way overexposed. Oh, my God. This is not even a character. It kind of is, though, because no matter who does it, how they do it, it always comes across the same to me. I don't want this to come across bad, all right? So on TikTok, you know how you can stitch things. Yeah.

have you ever had people where they stitch it, but they stitch it in parts? Where they cut it up. So they're not just responding to the whole video. It'll be like the video starts. It's like, here's my thoughts on this. And then it cuts to a person in their car and they go, okay, this will be interesting.

And then it cuts back. And I'm like, no matter how correct they are, no matter what the take is, I'm always like, I can't sit around for this, man. I cannot handle this. I don't know why. I can't do it. And it's always, like, I'm like,

it'll be completely different people, but I'm like, but you come off the same to me. I'm like, just stitch the whole thing. Like, just sit and talk. Like, don't, don't do the like in-between thing. Yes. I don't know. It's just a thing I've noticed that it's such a specific. It drives you crazy.

Yeah, and it's a very, I feel like it's honestly like kind of a Gen X thing I see a lot. Gen X loves to do it. Being like, I'm here listening and I'm judging. They're always there with their coffee coming. They're like, this will be interesting. And then they come back. Oh, fuck. And they're like, okay, no, that's incorrect because they're,

but all right continue and then like it's just a very funny like snarky thing and I'm like I get why you're doing it because then you get to dissect things moment by moment but I just it just I don't know I can't handle it it's a weird like let me put the camera on me so you can see me listening to this person it's weird it's weird have you guys watched Korean dating shows no they have um like a panel of people that are commenting on the show while you're watching it. The only thing I know this from is this is a Japanese show, but Terrace House.

Oh, yes! They cut to, like, people, they're just like hanging out. They're just hanging out the same show that I'm watching currently. And I'm like, well, I don't actually need this. But then sometimes I'm like, oh, I didn't catch that. Thank you for doing that.

It's very cool because they dissected a little bit. Yeah. And then you're like, oh, okay, I forgot about some of that stuff. And they're kind of doing a watch party for you. So you could feel like, you're watching it with other people, right? You're doing the communal part of watching something, but you're still alone.

Yeah. It's really fascinating to watch, like, international shows and see just those subtle changes and how big they are. Yeah. It's huge. Yeah. But it kind of reminds me that stitching together.

It's like you're watching these people judge the same content that you're watching. Totally. Totally. I have Winona Slay Rider. Okay. Okay. I like that.

So if Winona Ryder was on a sleigh or so... That's good. Oh, like, you're thinking like, she's Santa Claus. I mentioned her on a drag. Oh, no, no, no, sleigh writer. Okay. That's good.

I think Santa is an untapped market. How do you feel that way? I just think, like, nobody, like, people haven't played Santa in, like, a new, like, a way that I wasn't expecting in a minute. Okay, so it's just a jolly. Wait, what about the guy from Stranger Things? Oh, his scary Santa? It wasn't a scary Santa. Nasty Santa.

It's action Santa. It was cool. I'm talking, like, traditional. Santa, but just like, I don't know. I just think Santa's, Santa's, it always feels still a little surface level. I want to see, I want to see a little more from Santa. A British

Santa? I want to see Santa. I want a movie that's just Santa and Mrs. Claus. Santa's American. Don't clip that. Santa's American. I'm so sorry, Shane one second. Santa's American. I couldn't even do it. Santa in full Army gears. You know that's a figure.

That is a Christmas ornament. Oh, 100%. There's Santa's in every... Shirts. No, I want to see Santa and Mrs. Claus. I want to see a little bit more of how they interact and what's going on there. I just want to see more. I'm curious.

I would love more Mrs. Claus. Like a goop type of Mrs. Claus. How did Santa meet Mrs. Claus? You like that? You know what? Let's get the meet you. Dude, Hallmark movie of Santa meeting Mrs. I mean, it must be done.

It's like you guys haven't seen Santa Claus too. That's different. That's the new Santa. because he killed Santa. He didn't kill him. He killed him. He killed him. Yeah, well Tim Allen killed Santa. It's his version of events. I mean, to me, Tim Allen playing Santa is just Tim Allen playing

Santa. There's no Santa. You know what I mean? I want I'm talking Santa Claus, you know? I'm talking real Santa. Do you need your Santa to be old? Yeah. But I'm fine with it being a prequel. I'm seeing him younger, but like I want to see at least some of him old. So you guys think he met Mrs. Claus

before they were Santa and Mrs. Claus? You think they were old? Like, you think it was like a golden bachelor situation. When did he even start? Imagine Golden Bachelor, but it's Santa. I'm loving that. Looking for a new Mrs. Claus because Mrs. Claus also fell off the roof.

What came first, the marriage or the Christmas? Right. Ooh, yeah, because like, I just want to see that, I want to see that romantic comedy, or actually full-on romantic movie, and honestly maybe some sex scenes in there. He just wants the porno.

Hey, wait, remember, we've been, we came in for the Christmas episode. We'll come in for the Smosh Mother Christmas episode. We'll write that. That's true. We were going to try to write a Christmas play, and then it's like, we didn't have time. But we did Christmas something. If we start writing a Christmas play now, we could write Santa meet.

We have the story like, Santa Meet, cute. Santa meeting Mrs. Claus. And what if we did it like this? We had a working Google Doc. Yeah. That once every couple weeks, someone has to go in there, they can't read up. They just have to keep going. And then by the end, we just read.

But how do you know where you start from? You start at the end? You go to the end, you like, you can't, like, I don't know, I'm trying to find the easiest way where we could all... You don't go, you can't scroll back up. Or we can all, what if we all wrote, like, our little short versions of how Santa and Mrs. Claus met? And we start now. It's an anthology of which one's true? I might write it a little bit every Saturday night after I've had some wine.

That's beautiful. And then... It's beautiful. I'm getting into wine. Did you know that? Oh, my God, you were saying that. Tell us. Tell us. We're running out of time, but I will tell you.

I'm trying to get into it. I'm just trying to understand what's going on there. Have you tried a Grunner Weltliner? No, I just started. Try a Gruner Veltzai. I do like Somalia characters. Ooh, Somaliers are great. Do they still have Somaliers?

Yeah, man. It's a big thing. It's always someone that just comes right up to you and you're like, do you work here? You're in like, you're dressing it really nicely. Yeah. Like, I had this one Somalia that was like, I never ate fish until I had this one bottle of Censere. And then, yeah. Anyway.

All right. Well, yeah, wine. Wine, characters, fun. I was like, okay, I'm going to drink a, I'm going to try Cote D'Rone, because that's Amanda's favorite. Yeah. So I was like, I'm going to try this. Did you like it?

It was really good. Coat D'Rone? Yeah. Because there's a region, the Rhone, the Rhone Valley in France. So I was like, all right, I'm going to try to figure this out. And I'm like, all right, you have to like really sit and, like, figure out what you're tasting. I'm like, that's cool.

Yeah. I respect it. I know it's like such an ancient art that I. The Rone blend. Yeah Grinosh Yeah Grinogne

More Vedre Girl name Grinogne You're nailing it And one more Sarah Sarah I only know I only know that stuff That's all I've learned

And then I tried to send Sarah And it was really good Oh I'm excited for your journey Thank you I truly was like This will be fun And I texted Amanda about it

And she freaked out She was like oh my God She was like texting me a ton Because she's just like Obsessed with wine That's so sweet Yeah it was very cool But anyways

Chance thanks for being here This is a blast If you guys want to see us do any of those characters. Let us know. Please shout out down below. If there's characters you want us to play, we will make it happen. And Shane, I can't wait to see Queef Latifah come to life. It's going to be awesome to see

Shane do Quifleitifah. Yeah, yeah. If you guys really comment to that a lot, and then, you know, if I do it, you just have to all be, you'll have to promise me you're going to be cool about it. How many likes this? You guys got to promise that. It's going to be okay. You have to promise you'll be cool, and then he'll do it. The whole

internet will be cool. Yeah, just make sure that it's all cool. Before consuming this character, you must agree, it's cool. They will make a little sign. They said it's cool while you do it. It's not to like, please don't replicate these stunts. It's like, please don't judge this guy.

Please know this is just cool. This is chill. This is okay. This is okay. Don't get mad. If this video gets a million likes, you'll be queef Latifah. Okay.

Thanks guys. We'll see you later. Bye. Thank you.