Smosh Mouth - #112 - Making Angela's Dating Profile

Episode Date: September 29, 2025

Can we beat the inherent cringe of a dating profile? For a limited time, save up to $300 on the Tovala smart oven when you order 6+ meals, by visiting http://Tovala.com/SMOSHMOUTH and using code SMOSHMOUTH. To get your new 3-month premium wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to https://mintmobile.com/SMOSHMOUTH ! 0:00 Intro 2:54 20th Anniversary Smosh Awards! (Smoscars) 8:06 Sponsor 9:55 Talking Dating Apps 28:44 Sponsor 30:08 Making Angela's Dating Profile SUBSCRIBE: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshCast WEAR OUR JOKES: https://smosh.com WHO YOU SEE Shayne Topp // https://www.instagram.com/shaynetopp/ Angela Giarratana // https://www.instagram.com/angelagiovanagiarratana/ Arasha // https://www.instagram.com/arashalalani_/ WHO YOU DON’T SEE (usually) Director: Selina Garcia Editor: Rock Coleman Producer: Amanda Lehan-Canto, Shayne Topp, Selina Garcia Production Designer: Cassie Vance Art Director: Erin Kuschner, Josie Bellerby Stage Manager: Alex Aguilar Prop Master: Courtney Chapman, Abby Schmidt Wardrobe Supervisor: Julia Rosner Art Coordinator: Bridgette Baron Set Dresser: Luke Brau Art PA: Emilie Anderson Audio Mixer: Scott Neff Director of Photography: Brennan Iketani Videographer: James Hull Camera Operator: Eric Wann Assistant Director: Jonathan Hyon Executive Vice President of Production: Amanda Barnes Senior Production Manager: Alexcina Figueroa Production Manager: Jonathan Hyon Production Coordinator: Zianne Hoover Operations & Production Coordinator: Oliver Wehlander Production Assistant: Caroline Smith Director of Post Production: Luke Baker DIT/Lead AE: Matt Duran DIT/AE: Beni Kimuene Post Production Coordinator: Ariana Martinez IT: Tim Baker IT & Equipment Coordinator: Lopati Ho Chee Sound Editor: Gareth Hird Director of Design: Brittany Hobbs Senior Motion & Branding Designer: Christie Hauck Graphic Designers: Ness Cardano, Monica Ravitch Director of Channel Operations: Lizzy Jones Channel Operations Manager: Audrey Carganilla Channel Operations Coordinator: Sabrina Lieberman Director of Social Media: Erica Noboa Social Creative Producer: Peter Ditzler, Tommy Bowe Merchandising Manager: Mallory Myers Social Media Manager: Kim Wilborn Social Media Coordinator: Margaux Bernales Social Editor: Vida Robbins Brand Partnership Manager: Chloe Mays Brand Partnerships Coordinating Producer: Liz Kummer Operations Manager: Selina Garcia Financial Operations Specialist: Natalie Lewis Talent Coordinator: Danielle Moses People Operations Specialist: Katie Fink Front Office Assistant: Sara Faltersack CEO: Alessandra Catanese Executive Producers: Anthony Padilla, Ian Hecox EVP of Programming: Kiana Parker Coordinator Producer of Programming: Marcus Munguia Associate Producer, Special Projects: Rachel Collis Executive Assistant: Katelyn Hempstead OTHER SMOSHES: Smosh: https://smo.sh/Sub2Smosh Smosh Pit: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshPit Smosh Games: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshGames SmoshAlike: https://bit.ly/Sub2SmoshAlike FOLLOW US: TikTok: https://smo.sh/TikTok Instagram: https://instagram.com/smosh Facebook: https://facebook.com/smosh

I feel like my face is really small, though, so glasses might swallow me as well. It depends on, like, then you get small glasses. Or you get bigger frames. It's a huge. No, small glasses, I feel like on a small face, you look like a little loser. A little loser. And you don't know, you don't want people knowing who you are. I need to be a big loser.

You don't look like a little loser. Hi, welcome to Smoshmouth. I'm Shane. And I'm Angela. And with us today, we have our dear friend Arasha. Wow, you nailed that. I'm getting better. and here's the thing

the time I do it right I'll be gone and Damien will come in Wait how can you possibly mess that up She did I've done at least six I've done so many different variants of it Sometimes I talk over him

This time I was kind of sipping on my coffee Yeah that wasn't fair I ambushed you on that one Yeah you did And and but it is nice The fans are noticing That I'm getting better at it So thank you for noticing

Yeah And once I learn I'll be done So But down below already, let us know what type of glasses shape Arasha should wear. Yeah, because that's a massive thing. This is about to be your new era. Yes. Glasses, Arasha. Yes. And when you give a mouse a cookie, they're going to ask where your glasses are. Yep.

Every day. Every day. Yeah. Yeah. We'll see. I think it's going to be important for me. But by that time, it'll be 2026 for all of you. So you'll see me in my glasses era beginning next year. That's true. That's cool. That's cool. Playing in the new year with them? Exactly. This episode is very exciting. This is a big deal. We're getting something done.

I want to be clear. Angela pitched this. Oh, of course. That would be kind of insane. You were like, this would be really funny. Yeah, I would not pitch this for you. I'd be like, that would feel messed up. Arasha and I are going to help Angela create a dating profile.

So when we were pitching off a smoshmouth episode that sort of like got blended on the same notes app with my to-do list and all my to-do list is to get myself out there. You were reading the wrong notes out. And I was like, ooh, we can get me doing understanding insurance, which we did. Like just things I didn't understand And then on this other thing It was like I have to put myself out there And in in 2025 you do that in a certain way

And you do it online And there's a whole culture behind it And a lot of people say A good dating app is made by your friends Interesting So that's why I was like This will be fun because we could talk about Especially you two

I feel like you're on separate ends Of you know Age That's That's Oh, no, let me have never felt better about myself. We got like a Gen Z. I get what you're saying.

I'm not offended. Yeah. We have like... I'm not offended. But I'm really excited because also it is kind of, for comedians, too, it is a joke machine because of all the props. And we'll get into that. But speaking of joke machines, we have a really special time of the year coming up. Yeah.

Smosh's 20th anniversary is coming up. 20 years of Smosh Pretty freaking And I know all of our viewers have been watching all of it Some of you were two years old Some of you weren't born yet But you were watching So on the Smosh original channel

The main channel We're going to be doing the 20th anniversary Smosh Awards And we have some categories here And I think you guys will help vote Guys it's gonna be like the Oscars But much more fucked up We're not gonna have best supporting

actor. We're going to have some weird shit. We've been all talking and ideating and pitching off of the craziest awards we could give each other that just kind of span the whole brand in the whole 20 years. And we have so much to cover. We have so much to cover. New stuff, old stuff. Like, I think that's what's going to be cool about it is even if you haven't seen it, like all of the old shows that were like legacies are going to come back and that's just going to be a bit of a throwback. We're going to talk old characters, old funny moments. And And then we're also going to give a moment for like, if you're a member, you get to vote for some of these things. So go be a member.

You'll get to vote on the nominees. And we have some categories here that I've been told I need to read out. Okay. This is fun. The Coney 2012 Award for Most Chronically Offline Moments. I think Amanda will be all five nominees. The Tommy Wiseau Award for Losing the Room. Yeah.

The Where's Waldo Award for He's Right Here. Wait, wait. Hold on. We got to go slow. I'm dying. What's he's right here? I don't know. I'm dying to know with that. He's right here. Oh, maybe like the Where's Anthony, right? He's right here.

Nice. Nailed it. Thank you. The Daniel Day Lewis Award for Actor Who Disappeared into their role. The Chance McCrary Award for Most Pitched Bit will never do. Oh my God. I hope I'm nominated for that. Yeah. The John Travolta Award for Best Nicknamed Damien Has for different cast members. Cute. The 2011 Award for Best Tragedy Made in Two.

a joke. The Keith Living Up to His Last Name Award for Best Leak. Oh! Adam Levine Award for Best Weird Texts Someone Got from Noah. Most Batwoman Award for

What Does That Even Mean? The Julia Child Award for Shane's About to Cook. Is that like one-liners? I'm excited for that. I think it's like when I'm gearing up to say a joke and you can see it's coming. Gearing up. Woke Mob Award for Craziest Things

Spencer's ever said. Oh, okay, so Team discharge. Off the bat, what do you think's nominated? Two cans. It's, uh, you know, so I'm up my p-ho. There's going to be so many good ones.

He's said some crazy shit from, like, there's stuff that we've forgotten that he said years ago. No, guys, we were doing a sponsored video just last week, and Spencer said team discharge. Jesus. Jesus Christ. That is absolutely taking the cake. Jesus Christ.

Or what did we say in the gentleman's? one too, my bush is wet and expansive. He's like, my bush is wet and expensive. Yeah, oh, him is the gentleman. He's said stuff that he should not have gotten away with. Absolutely. It's letting a cheat out of the cage. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tucking his Johnson, all that stuff. Yeah. Yeah, he's taking

that one. It's absurd. The Merrill Streep Award for I Stay winning. The Rotissory Chicken Award for Rawest Roast. Ooh. And then there's Best Fan Editing Celebrating 20 Years of Smosh, so that's you guys watching. Whoa! Wait!

Hold on. A fan award? A fan edit award is going to be... That's going to go hard. That's going to go hard. Biggest gas leak moment. Fans will decide the nominees for that. So I'm too much to pick from...

If I'm a fan and I'm voting for what's a category in there, what's a nominee for that one, it's the live stream with the butt. And we're all screaming. And we're like, show, I said paid it. The live stream with the butt. That's a pretty good one. I would vote for all of the... the staring contest. Yeah.

That's so true. Like, that is a stream. That is an entire thing. And then, finally, best series. Just truly, what is the best show, according to you guys, across all of Smosh, in its history. Okay, so that's like the best picture award. That's the best picture. I'm actually very curious what fans would decide.

There's a lot to choose from. Guys, you get to shake up the programming meeting. Wait, so, no, so this is what I mean is these are all the old shows, too. All the old stuff. Eat it or eat it. Like, let's do. this. Yeah. Every blank ever, like all of that stuff. Yeah. Every blank ever. The show that got like hundreds of millions of views that nobody remembers. Yeah. I'm very excited. It's going to be

really cool. Yeah. I'm very curious what you guys vote on. It's going to be a blast. And we're going to dress up. Voting is open right now. You guys have about a week to vote on nominees. So hey, get out there and vote. Your vote matters so much when we're talking about fan edits. Yeah. As far as fan matters so much. Your vote matters a lot. And gas leak moments, your vote matters so much. Stay in line. Stay in line. This episode of Smoshmouth is brought to you by Tovalla. Shane, are you a good cook? I think I am a pretty good cook, but I don't have a lot of time. So sometimes I got to keep moving. Well, have you heard of Tovala? It's a smart countertop oven and a meal subscription. The other day I made beef, chili, and white cheddar mac and cheese in my Tovala smart oven. It steams, it bakes, and it broils.

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that's T-O-V-A-L-A dot com. And make sure you use my promo code Smoshmouth for $300 off on the Tovala smart oven. Remember, with Tovala, dinner is taken care of. to the show. All right. Now, let's get to my to do list. On to dating. Dating. Dating. So cool. Yeah, I love it.

So sick. So sick. Yeah. Listen, I know you are very anti-dating apps. I was. Now I used them. Now, I also had terrible luck with them. But I also was very bad at dating in general.

What was your app of choice if I had a lot of us? So I downloaded Tinder back in the day. zero matches zero nothing on it like for a straight year i was like wow all right damn wait no way zero see that's a bad profile that's not you that's a bad profile probably probably i'm not very good at showcasing myself like i'm embarrassed at the whole thing so i'm like i don't know um bumble though i had and i had i went on a couple dates with bumble wait i'm so shocked at zero matches i feel like even if you have like zero information isn't it like 99 plus matches i know it's like Uh, I think that's a difference between, I think as a dude, it's, it's a pretty, it's pretty

barren sometimes. Like, it's pretty bad. Wow. I mean, that's pretty brutal. Yeah. That's like the story of that guy that like got a zero on his SATs. I know. And they're like, it's pretty impossible to get zero. Yeah. Yeah, wait. That's crazy. I know, but I did. What? What? Pretty impressive. I'm so gagged. Look, I, I'm sorry. We We need to, we need to move on from that. God, I think I'd pay like upwards of like, maybe like, $500 to see that profile. My profile wasn't, I mean, this is weird thing, is my profile on Tinder was pretty much the same as on Bumble, and so on Bumble, I had matches and stuff, but, but it was still

like rare, right? Like, on Bumble, it wasn't like I was getting tons of matches. Like, it would be like a week or so, and then maybe I'd get a match or two, and then, like. You know what it is, too? I think the apps have different reputations. I was going to say, totally. Like, let's talk about it. Yeah.

I feel like Tinder, it's like. Bang, bang. Bang, bang. And that was not happening for me. Yeah, so maybe you didn't have a bang, bang profile. You had a let's talk about books profile. Because the problem, this is why I don't like, this is why I don't like dating apps.

Yes. Because it breaks it all down to numbers. And in person, when you're meeting people, the numbers are still there of like, oh, what my type is, what I'm attracted to. But then there's still just the like, oh, there's the environment and there's the vibe and you like, you get so much more.

Whereas dating apps, it's just pure numbers. And I, what I didn't like about dating apps is not oh how people are viewing me i started to feel like oh how i'm viewing people too i'm like it's making me shallow but this is and i don't like that and this is my argument about it is that um now i think they've gotten better at it just like how social media is now getting less about numbers even though some places it's about numbers it's more about like you have to have a second life you have to curate who you are right on there and with hinge the one i understand the most out of all of them um is the one where you can kind of take away you don't have to

show like a lot of your facts, but then your questions, your prompts, and your pictures are like, this is my vibe. Totally. You kind of show your vibe a little bit. Rather than like, here's like where I went to college, here's my height, here's like what I believe in, you can kind of just be like ideal Saturday and then you can show kind of like a fun version of you. Yeah, yeah.

And now you can do like little like voice notes too, which is so fun. That's nice, because then you get to hear their voice. And I was thinking you guys could kind of like maybe be like, hey, it's Shane and Rasha. You should go on a date with her. Hey, guys. Hey, Shane here. Look. Angela's pretty cool.

Like, I think that would get somebody. If you're just like, hey, I'm a dude, she's normal. I will actually say, okay, if I was scrolling through a dating app and part of it was like voice prompts, and it was a bunch of their friends hyping. them up, I would take that as a green flag. So I'd be like, whoa, they have a group of friends who, like, I'll support them and stuff. Like, that means they're a good person. They've got friends who

support them. Wait, you guys are going to have to do that. You'll get responses, though, that'll be like, can you please say happy birthday, Adam? Like, it'll be completely different. This is also the problem, though, is that Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, I'm hopeful that how I come across in the voice

memos is, like, good for that. Yeah, I think maybe you don't say your names. Maybe you just just be like, hey. Hey, it's Shane Top from Smosh. Smosh here and Angela rocks. Hey, Smosh here. Angela's pretty cool. She's in the bathroom right now

taking a huge shit. Yeah. She's great. See, but here's what's hard about this. Is then when we're talking about me, the digital footprint is something you're dealing with, right? Right, right.

So we need to pick photos that show me because if you were to Google me, yeah, it can't be that. It's an uphill battle, right? Headshots, you can't do headshots you can't do any sort of professional photos or like it's that fucking 9-11 clip is going pop up when they Google me and like so that's why this profile is what we get to control yes we're taking agency back yeah I mean we're giving it back to you yes yeah it's gonna be okay

were you ever on there yeah yeah I so it's funny I think in high school was the first sort of like murmurs of dating apps and at high schoolers are on dating apps well no I just I had just heard the murmurs about it. Okay, okay. And I had no interest in doing it. Like, absolutely did not get any action in high school at all. To grow up nowadays is so scary. Yeah.

Well, it was my understanding that at the time I think it was just Tinder that was floating around. And it was kind of, like, uncool slash odd to have been on Tinder. Really? Like it, I mean... I could see that for, like, being teenagers or if you're in college. college or something. It was sort of the attitude of like how we now laugh at sort of like, you know, OKCupid and, you know, those sort of apps.

We do laugh at OKCupid. Right. Where it's sort of like... Or coffee meets bagel. Yeah, where it's just kind of like outdated. It seems a little silly to meet people that way. It wasn't as modernized and normal. So it was definitely like, you know, a little strange.

So I did not use them actually until like late college. Yeah. And that was mostly, I think, Bumble for me. But see, that's, that's, I never went to college in person, or at least I'd not for very long. And I'm like, if I was at a college, like on a college campus most of my days, I'd be like, oh, I don't need dating apps. Like I'm around people my age with doing the similar thing, similar place in life. Like you're going to meet people there. No, for sure.

I mean, that was for me too. It's like, I never needed them. It's when life gets busy and not based off of convenience. that I then understand people needing that because I don't have time to like go sit around. Yeah. You know what I mean? Well, there's no, there's the conversation

of there's no third places, right? There's no organic places where people gather anymore and meet new people. That's like the big thing. And everyone is so like in their phones. And I don't mean that, I don't mean to sound like a boomer when I say that. Like we are.

Like we all are living. a life online so much that were not all those organic ways that people used to meet people are kind of gone yeah I did read a profile and it was like an article headline that I was just scrolling through on my phone and it was like this isn't the summer of dating apps this no this isn't the September of dating apps this is the September of go sit at a bar and I'm like yeah it's like but that's expensive as hell like it's like yeah like go go spend 20 bucks every night like yeah and like what are you going to do go to a bar every night like like Well, there are people that will like, like, I know people in this room, people are playing pool.

My God. I know someone. That's badass. And my other friend, too, plays pool to meet people. And she met Paul Newman. No. And now they're married. But, like, honestly, shared, like, interests are probably one of the best bets.

Like, I feel stupid giving any sort of dating advice, for one, because I'm not dating. And also, I recognize it's just. fucking ridiculous right now like it's so hard well well for me to my so my late college was 20 20 which was that's nuts so right i forgot you're five years old right so i couldn't meet people around campus it was it and and by that time it was like the height i think of dating apps that was when people were enjoying it because it was like that was our only way of connecting Yeah. And that was like, you know, we were like still like walking outside with masks on.

And then it's like once you get to the restaurant, you sit down at your table, then you take the mask off. Oh my God. It was like that sort of situation. Did you have any crazy? Like were you like matching with people being like, are you vaccinated? Can we meet up? Yeah, yeah. I think that was something that was written on the apps too.

It was like you had. Oh my God. Another aspect. Vaxed and boosted. Oh, Jesus. You know? And then it's like, okay, I'll see you. You're like he's boosted, but he's 5'4.

Then he's not boosted. Jesus Christ. I don't look at the height at all. He's boosted, but he has no photos of just himself. In any of these, it's a group of guys. I don't know who's who. He's boosted, but there's an American flag emotion. He's boosted, but he's holding a fish, and it's not that big.

But he's boosted. Yeah, I went on a date with some, the same. is like the quickest little story. I went on a date off of Hinge in college once and I remember it was fine and it was funny too. I remember it was one of those situations were on his profile. It was like 5-11 and then I saw him and he stood up and he was shorter than

me and I was like I'm 5-7 so there's that. It was fine plenty people don't care. I wasn't going to be like oh I'm out of care. Arasha gives a shit though. But you're like listen. Okay. You're going to touch. I would be I will say though like

I, it was definitely a scary thing and I never experienced it but just of like, lying is such a red flag. And I'm like, I understand lying out of insecurity, but it's like, dude, you show up, you can't. Yeah, do you, so you admit lying on the internet's a red flag? Absolutely, of course. Ladies and gentlemen, we got it.

Now, there's two parts to this, actually, because I want to touch on the height aspect of it, which I've already said, I think it's okay to have preferences about height. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. It is all right. Let's talk about it as well. listen, I feel like I'm towering over people

it is my own insecurity about my height. No, we talk about it all the time. Right. No, I mean, it's like, every day. It's like, morning meeting. We're like, I was scared. It's like, hey, guys, gather. Like, what are you shooting today? How tall are you? Especially when I was a young

girl and all of my friends were much shorter than me and they were all little sexy babies and I was this huge Hit me in the face. I was this huge giant. And so, God forbid, a woman wants to feel like a little sexy thing, you know? I need somebody else that is going to be much bigger than me.

So that's my preference. But this guy in particular, I obviously wasn't going to write him off. I was like, it's fine. You did lie on your profile. I'm going to keep note of that. But we're still going to have this date. We had a date, whatever. At the end, he was like, oh, like, you want to, like, come to my place and, like, watch

a movie or whatever. And I was like, okay, sure, like, let's do that. And we went to his place, and it was actually a frat house, which was hilarious. But in his room, I... He didn't preface it with that? He did not. Which is another testament to dating us. But we walk into his room, and there's a huge tapestry that covers the entire wall that just says it's 420 somewhere.

Well, it's true. It's true. That's a fact. He's not lying there. Right. The most I've ever seen Scott laugh. That's what got to go. Scott, do you own that tapestry?

Scott definitely owns that tapestry. I think I've done maybe 60 hours of comedy in front of you, and that's what gotcha? And so then I left. Based on the tapestry alone? Yes. I was like, who has a tapestry that says that, that covers the entire wall? Yeah. Like, just live that life.

Don't put it on your wall. Just live that life. Just live that life. 420 somewhere. That's really funny. Yeah, yeah. What did you say? Were you like, I have to go?

Yeah, well, so we watched, um, we, well, you're like, I'm getting a call. Right. So I, oh, wait, okay, actually, no, this is great. This is great. So we did watch a little bit of, um, we, we looked up like the worst movie on Netflix to exist. I think it's called the roommate. Okay. Um, with, yeah, I think it's with Leighton Meester, but maybe that's a lie. Anyway, we watched it. Um, and by the end of it, I was like, I have to get out of here. I have to leave. And I had gotten the ick, you know, as, as you do. So I was like, so I was like. History, ick. Yeah. So I was ducking out, and I remember being like, I really don't want to kiss this guy. Yeah. And I'm really scared that he's going to kiss me when I'm leaving. So I put my mask on.

Okay. That's a clutch move. Yeah. No, it actually, like, saved me. I just, like, put it on and was like, okay, like, I'll see you later. And it just, it put the barrier up where we didn't have to be like, let's not have any contact with each other. That's great. That's totally fine.

are great so a first date with a stranger is such a unique thing yeah because i had that a couple times and like i think my expectation was like yeah you're not going to kiss maybe you're not going to do anything like you're you're meeting up to effectively be like whoa are you cool yeah are you safe like what's up like we're just we're honestly just seeing if we could even be friends yeah yeah and then you you go past there totally and the tricky thing is too with these apps. I don't know if you guys have had this experience too, but I always feel like the person that they create, even just through messaging, is always so different. It's so different. Like multiple times I've been like, oh my God, this guy is sweeping me off my feet. Like everything he is

saying is so right. And then I meet this person like live and I'm like, you are not who you're typing. It's what I struggle with because it's how people come across online versus in person. It's like everyone kind of has two personalities, right? Because how people appear online when they're writing stuff is so different usually than who they are in person. Right. And most of us have more experience with our online persona than our offline. But also writing on a dating app, you get to like think about it. Totally.

I never liked when people were like, oh, this is how you should talk. This is how you should do this. I'm like, so not be myself. So when I meet them in person, we'll see if it will see now. We're starting now. I mean, I will say it's just a different game. The way you're going through profiles is there is a certain thing that I'm like, oh, like, I don't know. I do think you need help in curating that.

This is what's tough is that I think everything that you guys are saying is valid. Yeah. Right? About your preferences and about what you're talking about. I think just in the context of a profile on a dating app, I just think it makes everything so much harder. Yeah. Right? Because then you meet in person and then it's like, like I said, you're starting over again and you're hoping.

that it worked out. I mean, to personalize it, I'll say, I think it's important for someone like me to talk to friends about the prompts and the picks I use. Fair. Because if I was alone, picking what I wanted. Sure. It wouldn't perfectly describe me or show me.

Like, I need, like, a mirror. It's an unfortunate thing that, and this is like kind of studied, is that we don't know ourselves as well as we think we do. Like, our perception of ourselves is often kind of, like, it's, it's, it's, at least it's just so different from how people around us view us.

And then throw in anxiety and like body dysmorphia and anything. And then you're like, oh, my perception of me is actually literally completely different. Well, I do think that there is some confidence in your instincts when you are physically around this person, though. You know, like that's what I think is the ultimate downside of these dating apps is you can play the game and you can abide by these guidelines all you want and eventually come up with some matches, maybe even, a connection, but when you meet somebody in person, I feel as though you know instantly if this is going to work because of pheromones. Like your body chemistry needs to be matched up. Yeah, I think that's different per person too because I'm someone who's really, and it might

just be my anxiety, it might be that I don't know how I feel when I first meet people. I'm thinking about like, I'm like, I hope this ceiling doesn't. doesn't cave in. Yeah. I think I'm unfortunately, I'm a little too, like, dwelling on my own insecurities and stuff to even be focused. I don't know how often I've really experienced, like, meeting someone and immediately being like, yep.

Like, I don't know if I actually have experienced that, to be completely honest. You know, most of my experience in dating has been people I've known for a long time. Because I think just, it takes me a long time to build trust and to like, and I don't know what is that if that's a conditioned thing in me. if that's something deep down. But, you know, I obviously knew Courtney for years before. I mean, that's so real, too. I feel like I do that so often, where I fall in love with my friends.

Because I'm like, you're great, and we have fun together. What do you mean we're not supposed to be together? And I know Courtney's, okay. And I know, I just, before we move on, I just, I know Courtney, she said this before of like when she first, when we first met each other in the audition room, her first thought about me was just like, I hope he doesn't hit on me. Like that was her, so it was like, it's not, it was not like, we saw like, whoa, it was like, yeah, yeah, we're also in a professional setting and everything. Yeah, totally. I don't want. And we had, we were in relationships. I feel like, yeah, I think my point is more like, I guess the physical attraction of it. You know, like when I, I feel like when I see photos, it can be like, oh yeah, this person's cute, whatever. But it's like, once we meet up in person, face to face, I'm able to be like, oh, yes, I'm attracted to you or I'm not really feeling instant attraction here. what they say. I'm like, that's funny, I'm into it. Or I'm like, that's not funny, I'm out.

Yeah. So that's why we got to write these. Words, words matter to you. Okay. Okay. This episode is brought to you by Mint Mobile. As a performer, I love saying yes and. And it's time to say yes to saying no. No monthly bills, no overages, no contracts, which is why Smosh made the switch to Mint Mobile. We have it in our production phone and Tim's other secret office phones, and they've worked great. We were even able to use them when we went to Canada. It was seamless. Plus, we're getting premium wireless for $15 a month. Smosh's old provider was slow and didn't give us unlimited talk and text. And with the work that we do, we need reliable and quality service. We were able to switch to Mint Mobile and keep the same phone number and existing contacts. There's

nothing more frustrating than getting texted by a phone that is someone that you know, but they've switched their number. And so you think it's a wrong number. It's exhausting, especially because I'm someone, when I don't recognize a number, I just delete it. And it's also frustrating when you switch your phone number and then you have to regather all your contacts and then other people don't know who you are. They think you're an imposter. But with Mint Mobile, you don't have to worry about any of that. You get to keep your contacts and your number. So ready to say yes to saying no, make the switch at mintmobile.com slash smoshmouth. That's mintmobile.com slash smoshmouth. Upfront payment of $45 required, equivalent to $15 a month, limited time new customer offer for

first three months only. Speeds may slow above 35 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Taxes and fees extra. Seament Mobile for details. Back to the show. So all of these have like so many ways you can show who you are. Yeah. And it's like I want to say some of these prompts, it's like in depth. Let's be honest here, Angela. How like, what's your goal with your profile? Is it to be like, I want to really, I want to be really, really myself. I don't want to like put on any sort of show or is it like you know what no fuck it I want to like make an interesting profile like let's let's play like what if we just tried to make me like a freaking bombshell on there and then I show up and I'm like

Bada ha ha ha ha ha ha see that's a bit and it's up I'm just filming a thing called challenge pit uh I I unfortunately Angela I think dabbing is is the that is the killer I was kidding. I was playing cringe. I don't know what you. I was putting on cringe. That was the bit. Right.

I wouldn't genuinely dab. Arasha, if you came across a dating profile and it was Henry Cavill, but he's dabbing. My God. What are you doing? Swiping left. In, obviously. Okay, no.

I think we have to go for the intersection of, which I think all people are trying to do. want to be at the intersection of cool, pretty funny. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Okay. And you know what?

All those people are there in the Rose section. Are you familiar with this? Oh, we have to talk about Rose. Roses. It's called standouts now. So these profiles, here's what's craziest. Yeah. They got to pay the bills.

So they want your fucking money. They know who you like. Because you just can't use it out. They know exactly who you would be perfect with, but they're going to put them behind a paywall. Yeah. Isn't that awesome? Isn't that the best thing about being alive in 2025? Meeting your soulmate is behind a paywall.

That's some black mirror shit. And here's the thing is, sometimes you'll be like, well, you're not going to pay a dollar to meet your husband? Right. Right. Have you ever? Did you ever drop the 99 cents to like a standout? I've never done it. Me neither.

But my friend was like, oh, yeah, I do roses. And I was like, oh, that's cringe, isn't it? He was like, no, what if that stands, a rose, a dollar stands in between me and my wife? And I was like, we're all going to die. Everything's behind the pay. I know, I know there's plenty of people who have met their partners via dating apps, but it just, God dang, man. All right. No, it's awful.

It's awful. It's a lot of luck and just hoping that somebody on the other person on the end who you matched with is also like, I know that these things are weird, but I'm just trying to meet someone and you, and you foster a connection, truly some of the happiest couples that I know are like, Tinder. I know plenty of people, yeah, it's, I know it's a real, that that can happen. Yeah. But. Okay.

We have so many prompts to go through. Okay. I'm going to read different things. And if you guys have an idea for what I should say to that, we'll stop that one. Okay. Okay. Because there's, there's, there's, there's 10 different folders of different prompts. And then in the folder, there's like 20.

Okay. Holy shit. That's why I'm like, I don't know where to begin. I don't know where to begin. So we'll start with the About Me folder. Okay. Ethnicity. Unusual skills.

Ethnicity. Answer. What's up? Italian. Anyway. Italian. Immediate negative matches. Okay.

Okay. The unusual skills. This year I really want to blank. Typical Sunday. Dating me is like, blank. Okay. Anything come to mind for me? Okay, dating me is like, that's straight up a punchline for you.

I feel like that's a great opportunity for you to be like. But I can't be too joky. Yeah. Okay, I'm just, let me think out loud. Yeah, think out loud. There's no bad pitches. No bad pitches. Dating me is like real housewives, entertaining, but it's an absolute shit show.

That's good. Like. That's good. That's good. And that's an interest of mine. So if they like that, they'd be like, whoa. Yeah. Okay, keep going. Let's keep going.

Okay, I have one, but I hope that it doesn't come off bad. I can't wait for it. Dating me is really stupid. You guys can say anything about me, and I'm still going to love you. Okay, okay, okay. But this is with love, but also if it comes out badly, then I'll explain it. Okay, so dating me is like having a pet, but it's your best friend. Okay.

So do I give off like dating a dog? No, no, no, you're not the dog. Arasha, why would you say that? No, you're not the dog. You have to take care of me, but I'm also funny. Yeah. That's so good. That's good.

No, because it's like, let's go for a walk. Okay. But also it could be like a... I'm not kidding. I need a partner that's going to take me on a walk. I think walking is very much a partner thing that people do. Yes. No, but I need a partner to take me on a walk.

That takes you on a walk. Like, Angela, let's go for a walk. Come on. You're done with Vanderpump. We're going outside. Yeah, yeah. Or like, when you're like, when you're focusing on the wrong thing, We're like, Angela one.

Let's go on a walk, yes. Angel two. Like, Chance literally does that to me and goes, drop it. Yes. Leave it. That's what I'm saying. Okay, that's a good one. That's a good one.

Don't come at me. Cut out the silence after I said that. No, it's beautiful. I recently discovered that blank. 9-11. Could you imagine if you see a girl? And I'm like, I recently discovered that 9-11 didn't happen in 2001. It's just your whole profile is just every bit you've done on Smosh.

a random fact I love fact I love my most irrational fear is see like here's the thing though if I just answer these just like kind of normally and kind of like buy the book my irrational fear is birds with a lot of feathers right no one's gonna use that and go huh that made me think of sorry what you didn't know this birds with like lots of feathers oh wait maybe you maybe I'm aware of this like a lot of feathers I hate feathers you don't like feathers at all I get scared they're gonna go in my mouth this is like this is like Olivia with butterflies. She's scared of butterflies? Oh my God. Like her fear of butterflies is actually like terrified, cannot look at them. If there's a butterfly, she will scream and run. I get that. We've done videos, unfortunately, where she's been confronted with butterflies and she's,

it's visceral. But you're more like grossed out by feathers. I'm just, uh, physically triggered by them. Fascinating. I want them to touch me. Feathers on anything? To be fair, feathers are actually, like, gross. Like, bacteria-wise, they're gross.

It's like their asshole. If you touch feathers. No, it's like their fucking butt cheeks. Oh. They're covered entirely by feathers. That's what I'm saying is their feathers or their ass. Like, it's all up in their hole. Their feathers?

Let's move on. I don't know. I don't know. Anyways. I can write that. My most irrational fear is that where are the feathers coming from? Are they near the asshole? Are they cleaning them?

Don't put that. put that. And we have to let out the bad choices to get to the good. Hey, don't. So don't put that. Don't put that and don't ever share that with anyone today. Don't say it ever allowed ever again. Okay, you ready for this? Yeah. This is not a trap. Answer this. As my friends, my

greatest strength. Greatest strength. Okay, okay, okay. Just don't take too much time. No, no, no. We're just putting it into a catchy little sentence. Okay, I'm thinking about how to phrase this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like your greatest strength is your humor Because I think that's that is a rare trait right

Like I think like we're surrounded by funny people here But like truly out there in the world Like people as funny as you guys is rare So I'm trying to think of like how you could phrase it That's funny it's like like I think honestly One of my greatest strengths is I know when I lost you Don't say that. Yeah yeah like you have a bad way like I know what I lose the room

I know when I lose the room where I'm like, I know, I know how to end the date. Yeah, you're able to read the room. That's the sad thing I've ever said. No, that's good. Don't, don't like, because that's a loser's mentality there, though. Yes, and we're here to win. Yeah, exactly. You don't want to be like, hey, I know when the date's gone bad.

It's like, don't. Let's get a quarterback. You need to be Josh Allen up in there. Okay. Yeah. I feel like your greatest strength is breaking the ice. Okay. Like, I think if there's, like, tension in the room, or if like, everybody's quiet, everybody's sleepy.

I am really good at that. You're able to come in and be like, let's share these stories. Yeah. And everyone's like, all right, all right, we're doing this, we're doing this. So you're able to, you know, with your humor, break ice. What about this? Something that's a non-negotiable for me is, and I'm going to go, what if it's just a really long list? That's funny.

Oh, that's funny. Yeah, that's funny. I'd say something that's a non-negotiable for me is flip-flops with jeans. Okay. You do that. No, no, no. You said a non-negotiable. Is it?

I mean, like, I don't want it. Like, you don't want it. Yeah, yeah. Correct. You cannot handle that shit. Why do they have to do that? Being rude to waiters. Yeah.

That's like, those are like the basics, the go-toes. You almost don't want to say that, though, because you don't want them to pretend on the first date. That's what I'm saying. All of these are trapped. Because they know that that's your deal breaker. You want to see. You want to see. Oh, yeah.

I'm not telling them what I'm looking out for. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's good. First round is on me if. You don't watch small. You remember. Stop dabbing. I'm kidding.

They're going to find this clip. I know. Oh, no. I'm realizing. This is actually such a fucking trap. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If you know who mythical chef Josh is, he's my friend. God.

Oh, my God. So glad we're not dating. I'm saying the things I'll ever say. You're saying all these prompts and I'm going, oh, this is why I did really bad. Yeah, it's like, I fucking don't know how to answer these questions. It's really bad. There wasn't even that many. There was kind of just like a bio for the ones that I was on.

What I order for the table? Pasta. That's wild. My brother has this joke that I love. I could just repurpose it. Yeah. He goes, let's get a sandwich for the table. Yeah.

So I'll get like a sandwich for the table. A martini for the table. A martini for the table. That's good. Kind of gives a little. A bagel for the evening. Yeah. A donut for the table.

A donut for the table. Okay. Let's chat about. do you agree or disagree that blank so how do we weed out bad people and get good people with something like this do you agree or disagree that the dress was yellow oh my god yellow wasn't even an option

yes it was it was gold and it was blue and black okay give me travel tips for see that's just because you know what if I said like Barcelona then a bunch of fucking idiots are going to be like You have to go here. You want someone to, like, come in and like... Yes, yes, yes.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Maybe it's, like, leading with sarcasm with a lot of these things. Well, actually, no, because that sometimes doesn't read on apps, and people are like, I believe you. I feel like this reads different coming from me, because, like, this is bad. Yeah. I'm just thinking of dumb shit. I'm just doing a dab ones.

Can you give me travel tips to my bedroom, psych? Just kidding. Not into that. That's good, just good. Hold on, yes. Unless. Unless. No, just kidding.

Barcelona? And by Barcelona, I mean, my bedroom. It's just like super long-winded. That's good. Is there a word limit on these? Yeah, you have... Oh, fuck, it'd be so funny to make one like a novel link. Let's see.

200 characters. Plenty. But too long and it starts to get. Weird. Too long and then it's like, oh God, he worked on this for so long. Right. I think it's got to be short and sweet. It's got to be quippy. I'll pick the topic if you start

the conversation. So what do you like to discuss? These are helping people, like, try to talk. Yeah. That's what this is. That's what this is. You know, it's like, let's make sure we're on the same page about blank. Same page about.

Let's make sure we're on the same page. And the problem is some people, some people, what I would see. Yeah, my bedroom. I was just talking about a second ago. It gets to a certain point in the problem. It's like, it's like, my bedroom, are you still reading these? prompts? Like, what do I got to say that's a skill, too, to just

have like a really cohesive profile? Just like, yeah. It's like a set. Just one thing. It's like, let's debate this topic. Cheerios. Teach me something about Cheerios. Change my mind about Cheerios. Yeah. Immediately, I'm never matching with that person. That's what I'm saying is like these are all bad things. They're bad. Okay. Getting personal. I won't shut up

about blank. What if I told you that blank? I feel like one of these, one of these has to be rooted in honesty. Yeah, right? Like, I geek out on... Genuinely something that you're passionate about. I geek out on reality TV.

Yeah, well... I geek out on theater. Like, that's such a real... You want me to write on a dating... It's real. It's real. Sure, it's real. You're saying... I know, but that's what we've been talking about. What's real doesn't really land on these things.

On a real note, if you date someone who's not into theater, that's going to be tough. Then I'll be learning. Okay. I think you can handle it. that. I think I could. Okay. As long as they listen to me. I just feel like you're doing, yeah, yeah. I just feel like you're doing live theater every night. Yeah. Like, yeah, but I think I agree. I don't think people need to know, people should know that. Like if I said, it is embarrassing. Exactly. And that's something I say like in person with my face so I could smile

and kind of be charming about it. Right. Or like you just like sing at some point. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know this is overlaught. Reality TV is good. I think it's, but you have to find a way to put a little twist on it. Yeah. I would say yeah. That's one unfortunate. reality TV it's real it also reminds me of when I was on dating apps and it was just like Netflix and wine and it was just like yeah

that's what I'm saying for sure man and I also like drinking water if anyone in the room has a pitch too please just yell it out okay a specific housewife is what we're hearing I geek out on like Lisa Renna Mormon wives

yes yes I geek out on respect for others lull yeah yeah for sure no but making it making it more specific So that way it isn't basic. And that's just good joke, right?

Right. Yeah. Don't hate me if I blank. Get hangary. Don't hate me if my internet thumbnail, don't Google me. No, no, there's something there. Don't hate me if every picture you see that I don't show you is. Don't hate me if you Google me.

Don't tell them to Google you. Yeah, you're so right. Oh, that's disgusting. Oh, that's disgusting. Don't tell them to Google you because I know you're not coming from a, you're joking about it, but you also, at best, the best case scenario is it's someone who doesn't know, like, what you do. Yeah.

Yeah, oh, 100%. Like, that's the best, right? That was just me making a low-hanging fruit joke. Of course, of course. My friend had this match with this guy on this app, and it just said musician and wasn't really specific. And they kept talking, and then she goes to sit down with him. They finally go on a date.

And he's wearing the daft punk helmet. He's like, oh, wait, are you daft punk? Good. He, he, like, she asks, like, what he does. He's like, I'm a musician. She's like, I need to know more. I need to know, like, a little more. And, like, it's like, like, she said it was, like, halfway through the day. And she's like, okay, so, like, what are you in a band? He's like, do you mind if I get to know you a little bit first? I. And then she was like, I gotta know what band he's in. This is driving me fucking crazy. And? And, we'll believe about the band. He was in, um, God, I knew it could be something dumb as fuck. I know, and that's what I'm like, do you mind if I get to know you first?

I knew to get to know you first. Yeah, you actually have to do that. Okay, something my pet thinks about me. Oh, I'm not doing any of these. This is why I don't want to go online. Wait, that one's good. Can you attach a photo to any of these prompts? No.

Because it'd be funny you attach a photo of Spork and be like, I don't know, what do you think? I don't know. He's blind and deaf. Or I could just say that. Something my pet thinks about me is like he's blind. He's blind and deaf, which means he thinks of awesome. That's great. The quality is required to love me.

We found our first one. And honestly, people love, like, dog stuff on apps. That's good. A universal. Yeah. Except for you. You hate dogs. You hate dogs.

That's not true. I love moose. Yes, moose. Just moose. And moose is it. Moose is a person. Moose is a deity. Correct.

Moose is an Australian Shepherd. The best dog. The best dog. You can't resist moose. And to be clear, I do not hate dogs. I just, I conditionally love them. Right. You don't think they're that awesome.

I'm not going to stop on the street to pet a dog. Guys, there's a video prompt. You're on Smarty Pants saying they're not that cute. Guys, there's a video prompt. I'm going to pet their owner. Oh my. God, there's a video prompt. Okay, okay, okay.

Okay. You're going to do a slack shout out on there? Ready? Do it right now. Do it off the cuff. So the prompt is this year I really want to. All right, let's all take turns doing this. Ready? Ready? Yeah. Oh my God!

Okay, so which prompt should we pick? A daily essential? Blank? I'm a 10, but blank. Let's do that. What? Ready? I'm a 10, but I'm on YouTube. Stop it, Angela.

That's good. That's good. I'm on YouTube. Stop it, Angela. You can't. Redo, redo. Your turn. I'm a 10, butt.

We do a different... Stop doxing your career. I'm not. I'm just making jokes. You got to get to know them a little bit more before you share that. Let's just cut the shit. I'm never going to put myself out there. Okay, okay.

Not a bad way. All right, so I'm going to read this prompt. All right. Okay, ready? What's the prompt? Hi from me and my pet. So you have to hold it down. You've told it down.

Oh, okay. No, wait, no, I don't. Yeah, yeah. It's recording. No, no, hold it down. No, it's recording. No, it's not. Oh my God.

Hi from me and my pet. You have to hold it down. Epic millennial moment. No, wait, no, I don't. Yeah, yeah. It's recording. No, no, hold it down. No, it's recording.

No, it's recording. What's the prompt? Tell us the prompt. Hi, from me and my pet. Okay. There you go, King. Pick a prompt. Pick a prompt.

All right, let's see. We've got, so you don't get to see the prompts until. Okay, okay. Something that's special about me. And you don't have to hold it down. And you don't have to hold it down. It will record. Cook with me.

Quick story time. A friend's review of me. Okay, yeah, yeah. So a friend's review of me. Okay, perfect, perfect. So I just can tap it. Yeah, and it'll stay. Okay, great, great. Okay. So cute.

Okay, a friend's review of me. Let's see what they have to say. Is this on my book? Shane is so intelligent. He's going to open the door for you. Yeah. And he's going to guess things about you. He's going to make you laugh, but he'll also make you feel good when you make a joke because he'll laugh. He didn't really go to college, but that's not a red flag. Yeah, and

Thank you guys That was bad Wait, can you two talk on I'm gonna guess things about you And Angela said that Okay, okay, so let's do it I think each of you do one So a thing my friend says about me

Okay, okay, okay, great, great great Um, hold on All right, that one again, find it all right No, no, that's it when weirdly, it doesn't matter It doesn't matter, just doesn't matter, it doesn't matter, okay, all right, here we go The prompt is my friend says about me. Yeah.

And we're not roasting you. We're being honest, right? Okay. Okay. Look, here's my review of Angela. Whatever bar or restaurant you go to, by the end of the night, like, she's going to be leading that whole place in song, all right? You're going to leave that restaurant, and people are going to be talking about that table

that you were at. They were the life of the party. As soon as you guys leave, shows over. He's my brother. That's my review. He's my brother. Stop. That's so cute. I kind of have to save it.

You're going to a bar or restaurant you go to by the end of the night. Like, she's going to be leading that whole place in song, all right? You're going to leave that. You're so well lit and you have a mic for this video. And people, if people looking at your dating profile, would be like, who's he? He's gorgeous. You are so funny. Is your brother single?

Ew. Okay. You don't have to be genuine. You could do whatever you want. No, no, I want to be genuine. Do something that you think will be funny that someone would fall. Like, you know what I mean? No, that's too much.

Because I think if someone saw what you did, it was really nice. I think they'd think I'm sad. It'd be like, please, can you say something nice about it? You know what I mean? Like, let's try to actually nail it here. Okay, okay, okay. I think if you had other aspects in your profile showing how, like, you are a loud, like, fun person, and then I'm saying that, they're like, well, this adds up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, okay.

Because, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Because, I feel like an introverted person, people would be like, oh, this, oh, they're trying to hype them up, but that's not the case. Okay, okay, okay, okay, all right. um okay guys angela is so fun angela is so funny um she's like super nuts but like in a really cute great way and you know she's gonna say hi to you uh and she's gonna

um she's gonna be so nice to you and she's gonna give you really good advice and she's gonna be um like the life of the party and you know it's gonna be a really good friend that you make as well if it doesn't work out for you guys. So meet up with her anyway. Guys, Angela is so fun. This is good. Angela is so fun.

She's like super nuts, but like in a really cute great way. The podcast, Mike, makes it so insane. And, you know, she's going to say hi to you. And she's going to, um, someone's going to use this and put a fan at it behind it. Okay. Can I say what's actually really funny and I think would be a great prompt or a great, like, sell is, having the friend talking, but then you hear the person the profiles about, like yelling in the background, be like, what? And hot. Okay, let's do that. Let's do that. No, like, just like that one,

that was really funny. That was great. Okay, let's do it again. Okay. Hey, take that. Let's what we're going to do. Okay, ready? So what's tag team? And I'm going to be like, I'm, like, I think the bit will be that I know I'm not. I say we do, okay, here's my pitch. Should we do like a little bit of like, we're changing lives? Where it's like, I'm talking about like how fun she is and stuff, but you're like, yeah, but she's also. Oh, this is good. I want to say bad, bad features, but I'm like, I'm talking about how, like, oh, she's a sweet person and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're like, oh, but she could party.

Yeah, okay, okay, okay. And I have an idea, too. Yeah, so I'll do like a no-but to whatever you say, but, but, like, also add on to it. Okay. Okay, great. Guys, Angela is one of the kindest individuals I've ever known. Sit up straight. Yes, but she will roast you if she needs to.

She'll call you out. And she's a respectful person. She's got her head on her shoulder. She's very professional. But she will joke about authority. when you need it. Yeah, she will. And yeah, I think she's a great conversationalist.

You guys will have a great first date. Actually, she sucks. I think we should restart it. Okay. No, she doesn't. Done. Guys, we're done. I think you post that.

You see this? You're like... Sorry, I was probably off camera that entire time, but you could hear me. Yeah. You're whining and dine in me. Should we go live? I don't think you can go live on a dating app. That would be, actually, actually, I could see it working.

And you're just like, come on in. What's up, guys? Actually, though, can we walk down that road for a second? What if you could go live on dating apps? I think you're now describing going to a bar. We've made our way back to, what if we were just walking around me? You just talk to people. No, you need the safety of the device.

Yeah, I get what you're saying. You're talking about just, yeah. Yeah. I understand what you're saying. Yes. Well, because you ever, have you ever been, like, in a room with someone and you see, like, an attractive person and you don't want to talk to them? So instead, you go on your app and you change the, like, mile radius to, like, less than 0.1 miles. Whoa.

So then you can match with them. I get it. I've never done that. I get it. You could also go talk to them. Okay. No, but how much cuter is it being, like, swive from across the bar and swiped with swiped, right? on you or if you you okay that person matches with you and then you open a video and

they're like hey we're in the same Trader Joe's I'm right it's just they're recording you Trader Joe right here and I just who's pulling out their phone and getting on a dating app in Trader Joe the line are long I guess the workers are trying to fuck you and yeah yeah okay we're gonna do a voice one okay okay the prompt is Mondays am I right that's great okay yeah and I'm gonna try to be like kind of anti the you know yeah I got 30 seconds yeah go for it yeah go for Need inspiration? And remember, you can just tap it. Play a simple answer, a sample answer.

You hear the sample answer? Something I take pride in is being able to make friends in long lines, especially bathroom lines. Oh. Was that AI? Probably. Okay, we won't. We'll cut that. No, no, you don't have to cut it.

That was just probably real. That was just like, quite the bummer. Cringe, yeah. Making friends in a bathroom. One of my greatest strengths is like, just when I'm like around people, like, I love talking to people. Okay. Yeah. I'm going to try to kind of have a sexy voice.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll put on. Yeah, it's Mondays. Mondays, am I right? Yeah. Yeah, I'd say like Mondays. Give me coffee. Give me a frigging coffee. Give me a coffee.

What is that? Just close your eyes. Just act like I'm a different person. All right, all right. Would you match with this person? Yeah, I'd say like Mondays. Give me coffee. Give me a frigging coffee

Give me a coffee I think I'd report them I think I'd be scared for them And for myself Let's do it again Let's do it again Mondays am I right No we don't have to keep doing this

I'm gonna go I'm gonna go serious as well Yeah Okay Yeah Mondays I mean You know I'm a lot like Garfield in that way I'm lazy and I love lasagna

Yeah, but Monday's not a fan. Am I coffee? My coffee. Ew! That physically hurt me. Okay, got, I go. As long as it was after a Sunday or a Saturday hanging with you, I can hashtag Mondays, am I right? Just kidding.

I like to hang all days to the week. As long as it was after a Sunday. or a Saturday hang with you I can hashtag Mondays am I right just kidding Spencer's clapping

No it's the laugh It's the laugh It's you know Yeah Yeah Mondays The Garfield It's awful

You see that You hear that That prompt And then it goes I geek out on theater Fuck Fuck You're dabbing

And then I'm like Another thing about me YouTube The worst shit You could ever Like honestly it's actually fun to make the worst profile We could ever make Yeah

It actually would be impressive You'll probably get a bunch of matches It would be so fun to try to make it as bad as possible And see who bites Who bites Probably the hottest person on the planet My friend, my friend has, she has this one guy that keeps liking her things. And he always goes, because she has a couple of pictures of her cats.

And he always goes, look at the kittens. Look at those kittens, they love you. And it's just a funny picture I've ever seen. Okay, let's see. What other prompts are there for voice memos? What if I sing? Ooh, hey, it's a strength. Yeah, here it is.

Apparently my life's soundtrack is. Ooh, do that. Except no copyright music. No copyright music. Yeah, yeah, you got to make up your own. Yours would be. Whoa, whoa. That's not my life soundtrack.

That is your, it quite literally is. Quite literally is. No, it's, oh, a quick rant about, blank? Oh, that's good, rant. These damn apps. I just want to be myself. Let's get back to the bar. My God, what do you mean a quick rant?

What do you mean? My God, did you get this far? Maybe we should hang I don't know God Don't you miss the 50s I don't know Whoa

Don't you miss Don't you miss the Don't you miss the 50s This has been vulnerable Whoa I just meant like don't you miss like when we would meet up at a soda Pop I don't know I was trying to be like vintage

A soda pop Yeah These damn acts You want to hear it again You want to make sure what you said and it really happened. It sounds completely different. She said completely different shit.

We're like, what? A quick rant about. I think that's a fun one. Okay, let's see. A shower thought. An award my family would give me... Wait, can I do a shower thought? Yeah.

Okay, remember, just tap it. Yeah, shower thought. Okay, okay. It's not going. Here's a shower thought. So blah, blah, blah, blah. Never mind, I fucked it up. No, it was great.

It was great. No, we got to get a clean take out. Let's do this again. All right, okay, a shower thought I recently had. Yeah. Why is it not letting me... Just hit the button? Okay.

Just tap it. If you do recording, hold on. This is why I would do... Yeah, just tap it. Okay, okay. Shower thought I recently had. So, blah, blah, blah, blah, you know, like... It didn't really have been in 2011.

So that would be, like, if you're... Like, drowning in your shower. You're looking up at the shower head. Shower pressure is going, it's like going straight into your mouth. That's really good. That's awesome. Okay, there is something to be said

if you did my entire profile and it's your voice and by the end you go, yeah. I'm doing my friend's profile. You know what I mean? Like that's kind of cute. That feels like a rom-com. Okay. Well, you know.

All right, guys. Well, usually it would set you up to like end up with the person who made your profile. I think that's what the wrong-com aspect of it is. I wish I could tell the younger version of myself to get off these apps. Spencer laughs.

Spencer's uncomfortable. Okay, with other profiles, do you like serious answers or funny answers? I need a mix. I need a mix. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I feel like one of them you want to be like,

oh, that was really thoughtful. I feel that way about pictures as well. I think with pictures, I need, I can't have all serious pictures. I also can't have all selfies. Yes. The first one has to be just you. Yeah. First one has got to be just.

But it can't be a head shot. Just you and kind of candid. Yeah. Yeah. Semi candid. Kind of like, oh, like, you might be looking at the camera, but you're like mid laugh. Yeah. Or something.

I agree on that. Just raw you. Yeah. And the second one maybe like more of like a, I don't know, more of a one that's like a little bit more posed. Yeah. active in a way like maybe you're hiking or you're like you're shopping or something we have to wrap up but I will say there's one picture I thought I would I wanted to pitch to you oh yeah yeah let's judge these photos of you yeah as if I haven't already dissociated enough let's judge these pictures let's talk yeah we're judging like how they showcase you

yes and and and and if they belong on hinge okay honestly you look hot in that photo you look awesome in that photo one. It's from funeral. I will say though you know like it's it's a very like horror aesthetic. It does make it look like a spooky girl. It's going to be like oh this is your vibe where it's not that's not your vibe most of the time. It makes me look like a spooky girl. I think as long as you have other

vibe. I see this one like for the fourth. I was going to say fourth third or fourth photo that's perfect. Because it's like a story. It's like what's going on there. Yeah. Yeah. This is a really funny thing. Wait, you look hot in the one too. Let me show you. I was going to do this one and show you guys this one.

And then I looked closer. Oh, no. Okay, so I was like, oh, this is a cute picture of me in Spork. Oh, it's a great photo. It's a great photo. It's a really important. So just take a look at Spork. Well, sure.

That's, you know. So Spork's red rock. It's just. Spork is out. Spork. Oh. I mean, it's hard to have a photo with Spork and his spork is not there. I mean, it's kind of.

You can't crop that a little bit, maybe? like have to be a little closer. Yeah, you could grab it. Or you could probably have someone edit that. You realistically could probably have an editor just put the like your shirt color over that. Yeah, I go, um, hey, Vita. Hey, quick question. Could you help me with something?

I think we got, I think we got somewhere. And that is in the line between funny and genuine. And all I could do is funny. And that's, that's the change that you have to make, right? Yeah. I feel ultimately we didn't help you at all, but that's okay. Ultimately, I learned what not to do. Right.

We learned that most profiles that we see are so on the nose and usually cringy, and that's what is to be avoided. You know what I also think, though? I think it is impossible to avoid having a cringy profile, because I think having a profile, like, in its nature is kind of cringy, right? I felt that when I had one, and I was like, you know, I have to just kind of accept, like, dating is cringy in so many ways. Like, you can't avoid that.

So you can't judge it either. It's vulnerable. That's the case with other people to know, like, oh, this is coming off cringy, but I'm worried mine might be coming off cringy. So ultimately, if there's enough, if there's enough nuggets in there of like this thing I resonate with, let's give it a shot and talk. I think that's a great point. I feel that way, even about people's like LinkedIn's. It's like, we have to put ourselves out there online and that's just the world we live in. And it comes with all the same cringe stuff, like a job interview or a first date.

Like, you have to advocate for yourself and doing that online is kind of scary. but you have to be honest and then you have to do it like it is fun to make jokes about it and just like kind of let it all out and be like yeah yeah absolutely yeah at the same time though it's like you know maybe a different attitude towards it would also be helpful right like i feel like when you ask friends like any of your single friends if you're like oh are you on the apps i feel like nine out of ten times you're going to get them being like yeah yeah or like when you ask a couple how they met and they go i'm out of the apps yeah and you're like listen we are like everything is online now I also don't like I'm like I don't care how you met like you're here now like great like your story is your story that's great yeah but I understand why

it's like hard to own it right there's all this rhetoric around it right now that is awkward it's just funny that now there's so many options the fact that you can add a video you could do so much to show the wrong version of yourself

but I think that's ultimately the thing is like how we come across online is always going to be a little bit of a misrepresentation of ourselves. And I think we experience that so often here, where even though there is hundreds upon thousands of hours of footage of me,

so often I see comments where I'm like, oh, they completely misunderstand who I am. That's so real. And I'm like, you're watching hours of footage, but I'm like, but still I'm not always coming across who I really am. And you're also showing what you want to show. Exactly. There are parts of our lives that we keep private there are things that we hold on to and sometimes like with good

reason definitely with our digital lives like sort of on the channel but in terms of dating as well like this goes back to kind of like the game that you talked about where it's like you do have to lean in and be yourself but you also have to understand that certain things are deemed inappropriate right like like like maybe kissing on the first date or um you know saying i love you right away and stuff like that. It's like those might seem like characteristics that you enjoy, but it's something that you have to sort of pull back on because it's not the way that it works. You're good at this. I also think the ultimate issue that people have and I had with dating is like, oh, I'm trying to go about this correctly. I'm trying to do this right. It's like,

no, like ultimately you're trying to find someone that you don't have to think. You don't have to do it right. Because who you are is what they want and who they are not trying to do anything is what you want. Literally. And that's what you're looking for. But we, so when we put on a performance, we often do ourselves a disservice.

Yes. Yeah. So it's like this weird. This finding a way to be authentic while also like serving yourself up on a dish. And that's hard. We did it today.

Thanks for watching. We helped Arasha get new glasses. Yeah. Rasha. We helped Rasha. We can finally see. Now I can see my day. A huge shift in her appearance

that we figured out. Yeah. Yeah. But anyways, thanks guys. And Angela, I have faith in you. Thank you. Yeah.

I have faith in knowing what not to do after this conversation. Well, hey, that's half the battle. G.I. Joe. I also, I'll end it also on like a serious note too because I saw this in a restaurant a while ago and I really, really liked it. In the apps, this is also sort of a contradiction to it because on the apps you're actually searching. But there was a little snippet on the wall and it said, if you're looking for love, stop looking for love and start doing the things you love. And I really, really love that because it's sort of. gives that shared interest right up top.

Like, if you love running, join a run club. Maybe you'll find somebody in run club. And then you already have that sort of compatibility of like, oh, we both like fitness. We like working out. And it sort of takes off from there. And then there isn't sort of that added pressure of like, I need this. I'm desperate for a day. And that's mainly why I don't have experience on the apps and why something like that was just so foreign to me.

Is that because I operate that way? Totally. Well, thank you for watching. Go check out the voting for the Smosh 20th anniversary awards. Go check out Angela's profile. It's on LinkedIn. It's just not going up. And yeah, we'll see you guys next week.

Bye. Bye.