Smosh Mouth - #122 - Solving Smosh's Problems: Holiday Edition

Episode Date: December 8, 2025

Amanda and Shayne (and Solvang) are here to solve our holiday problems! For a limited time only, get 60% off your first order PLUS free shipping when you head to Smalls.com and use code SMOSHMOUTH. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to https://rocketmoney.com/SMOSHMOUTH today. Exclusive $35 off Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/SMOSHMOUTH. Promo Code SMOSHMOUTH PODCAST: https://bit.ly/SmoshMouthSpotify https://smo.sh/SmoshMouthiHeart https://bit.ly/SmoshMouthApple  0:00 Intro 2:45 Trevor: How do I overcome bathroom shyness? 8:54 Sponsor! 10:21 Kim: How do I stop my mom from playing the same Christmas songs? 16:14 Anthony: How do I put lit candles on my Christmas tree without setting it on fire? 23:17 Katelyn: When is Hanukkah? 30:26 Sponsor! 31:56 Emily P.: How do I stop being Santa? 37:56 Emily Rose: What’s a fun New Year’s resolution? 44:36 Chanse: What do we do for Christmas now? 50:02 Lizzy: James is too good at gift giving, what do I do? 56:39 Sponsor! 57:50 Selina: How do you split time between your families? 1:03:52 Sara, Alyssa, and Ollie: How do we get our Christmas spirit back? SUBSCRIBE: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshCast WEAR OUR JOKES: https://smosh.com WHO YOU HEAR Anthony Padilla // https://www.instagram.com/anthonypadilla/ Shayne Topp // https://www.instagram.com/shaynetopp/ Damien Haas // https://www.instagram.com/damienhaas/ Amanda Lehan-Canto // https://www.instagram.com/filmingamanda/ Chanse McCrary // https://www.instagram.com/phatchanse/ Trevor Evarts // https://www.instagram.com/trevorevarts/ Kim Wilborn Katelyn Hempstead Emily Parker Emily Rose Jacobson Lizzy Jones Selina Garcia Sara Faltersack Alyssa Lovette Ollie Wehlander WHO YOU DON’T HEAR (usually) Director: Selina Garcia Editor: Andre Gardere Producer: Amanda Lehan-Canto, Shayne Topp, Selina Garcia Production Designer: Cassie Vance Art Director: Erin Kuschner, Josie Bellerby Stage Manager: Alex Aguilar Prop Master: Courtney Chapman, Abby Schmidt Art Coordinator: Alex Mollo Audio Mixer: Scott Neff Director of Photography: Brennan Iketani Videographer: James Hull Camera Operator: Eric Wann Assistant Director: Alexcina Figueroa Executive Vice President of Production: Amanda Barnes Senior Production Manager: Alexcina Figueroa Production Manager: Jonathan Hyon Production Coordinator: Zianne Hoover Operations & Production Coordinator: Oliver Wehlander Production Assistant: Caroline Smith Director of Post Production: Luke Baker DIT/Lead AE: Matt Duran DIT/AE: Beni Kimuene Post Production Coordinator: Ariana Martinez IT: Tim Baker IT & Equipment Coordinator: Lopati Ho Chee Sound Editor: Gareth Hird Director of Design: Brittany Hobbs Senior Motion & Branding Designer: Christie Hauck Graphic Designers: Ness Cardano, Monica Ravitch Director of Channel Operations: Lizzy Jones Channel Operations Manager: Audrey Carganilla Channel Operations Coordinator: Sabrina Lieberman Director of Social Media: Erica Noboa Social Creative Producer: Peter Ditzler, Tommy Bowe Merchandising Manager: Mallory Myers Social Media Manager: Kim Wilborn Social Media Coordinator: Margaux Bernales Social Editor: Vida Robbins Brand Partnership Manager: Chloe Mays Brand Partnerships Coordinating Producer: Liz Kummer Operations Manager: Selina Garcia Financial Operations Specialist: Natalie Lewis Talent Coordinator: Danielle Moses People Operations Specialist: Katie Fink Front Office Assistant: Sara Faltersack CEO: Alessandra Catanese Executive Producers: Anthony Padilla, Ian Hecox EVP of Programming: Kiana Parker Coordinator Producer of Programming: Marcus Munguia Associate Producer, Special Projects: Rachel Collis Executive Assistant: Katelyn Hempstead OTHER SMOSHES: Smosh: https://smo.sh/Sub2Smosh Smosh Pit: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshPit Smosh Games: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshGames Smosh Alike: https://bit.ly/SubToSmoshAlike FOLLOW US: TikTok: https://smo.sh/TikTok Instagram: https://instagram.com/smosh Facebook: https://facebook.com/smosh

It's the Kia season of new tradition sales event. So don't just hang your own lights. Venture out and look for the northern lights. Drink cocoa on the beach. Or be a drive-by karaoke caroler. Because every new Kia comes with a 10-year, 100,000-mile limited power train warranty. So you can take holidays to places they've never been. See your local Kia dealer or visit kiya.com to learn more.

Kia, movement that inspires. See Kia dealer for warranty details. Event ends 1-226. Hi, welcome to Smoshmouth. I'm Shane. And I'm Amanda, and it feels so good to be back. It's the holidays. Yeah. Can you believe it? I can, actually. You can?

Yep. Oh, okay. Yeah, I've been through a lot this year. Yeah, I guess that's true. I can believe it. Has this been the longest year of your life? Yes. Wow.

And I don't mean that in a bad way. No, but it's just been, there's been so much. Every day feels like a year. Yeah. It's been incredible. Yeah. Because I have a newborn. It's, yeah.

I have a newborn and I'm here. And what a journey that all was for the entire year. I know. Every day was different. I was watching back summer games and boy, oh boy, woof, woof, woof. It's like me during Moose Master, I am a, honey, someone should have hauled me out of there quick. I am like at a, like, my body's like basically perpendicular and I have a fan. ripping sweat my hair looks insane that jean dress it barely fits yeah i was like get this woman

offset yeah you were you were you pushed yourself because you were here until like eight and a half months pregnant i was here until i remember challenge bit when is it going to pop out and who wins anyways yeah i'm so excited to be back this is my favorite episode that we do I have a lot of fun with it too It's our fourth time doing We Solve Your Problems Yeah, can you believe it? Can you believe it? I can't believe it? To the cameras now

Now! Yeah! Can we put up that photo of Tommy With the blown out photo Of him? That is my favorite photo from this year, I think He looks incredible as Ripley It's so great. I just love him I'm excited to see who we're going to have today I know, I know we got a lot of people They're all off over there

I'm saddened that there's this many problems going on here it's small. I bet there's more. There's probably so much more. I mean, Duran isn't here. I'm sure he's got just littered with problems. I know. It's the holidays. It's the holidays. His dad is still Listen, hey, Duran would be laughing.

Hey, don't do this. Don't make me feel this way. Can someone bring a problem that is somehow worse than Matt Duran's is the question. I don't think so, actually. Every single time he visited, it was a total ride. Yeah, and he sat on your lap. He did. That was a ride for you or for him. For him, it was a ride.

Yeah, he was riding. I was the Clydesdale. You were the Clydesdale. And honestly, with that, should we bring in our... Should we bring in our own Clydesdale right now? Oh. Trevor! Our first problem, Trevor.

It's because it is sweater. It's my sweater. He's wearing the old school Budweiser Clydesdale. Remember those ads? They don't do... Oh, yeah, they still sometimes do them. Yeah. Oh.

They bring them out sometimes. Oh. Every once in a while. Clydesdale scared the shit out of me. Have you ever been on a Clydesdale? No. Where would I have been on one? I didn't know that you could ride them.

I didn't know anyone could get up there. Yeah. Well, well, big girl can get up there. I literally don't need any help. Hey, big girl. I just swing my leg. Oh, yeah, you're back on the pod. Hey, Trevor.

I'm back. Okay, this is the third episode we've recorded you back. I was in one of them. I was in one of them. I was in one of them. of the first two. Yeah, but every time you come back, it just, I don't know. Too soon.

Freights on me. Too soon. Every time I'm just kidding. We love you. Yeah. No, I have a very serious problem today. Okay, let's go. Your time starts.

This is really important to me. This is a problem that I struggled with since I was a child. I have really terrible, like, bathroom anxiety. Okay, so it's, since I was a kid, it took me, like, a really long time into my adult life to even be able to, like, pee urinals in public. I've never been able to poop in public I just have really bad Like bathroom anxiety

But then around the holidays This is the worst part Is because staying like with my parents At my parents' house And there's a bunch of family around And there's a house is always full And there's always people I can't I get really constipated

And I can't like go number two at home And it really sucks And I'm like I have to find a safe space To go to the bathroom And I need help because I can't be constipated Every Christmas You literally can't There's too much food.

It's got more food to fit. It's, like, really bad. It's a serious issue. Help me. Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Does sound machines help? No.

Well, what is the anxiety? What's going through your head? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, one, people being able to, like, hear me. Sure. Even if I'm like, oh, nobody's upstairs. Let me go upstairs. Because at my parents' house, the upstairs bathroom is, like,

one of the connected between two bedrooms. Oh, we don't like that. So then it's like, it's like anyone could, like, my brother could just, like, go into the bedroom, whatever, and then he hears me in there, pooping up a storm or something. I mean, definitely, if you're constipated for that long. And then, like, obviously, you know, I don't want to leave his stinky bathroom, okay? And, like, you know, you can poop or re it, but everybody still knows. Yeah. Totally.

So what if you did it at, like, three in the morning? You set your alarm. You did it at three in the morning. You had a little bit of a sound machine. You're like, shit Batman. I am, like, shit. I am the night. Oh, my God.

But seriously. You think the doctor's is your ally. My brother coming downstairs at 3am, you think the doctor is your all right? He's the poop joker. I was all the darkness. He's going to find you. I was pooped in it.

Okay, so it doesn't even matter if you're like in one part of the house while everybody else is in the other part of the house. I think it helps, but I think my body just can't relax enough. Because I have, I'll go down, like, late at night. I'm usually up later than everyone.

And I'll go downstairs, but even then, like, I'm always just so tense. Like, I don't know. Okay, okay. First of all, this is very common. Second of all, what is the worst thing that could happen? Someone comes in and go, smelly down here. Yeah.

That's the worst. Stinky. Someone could go be like, oh, my God, Trevor, did you just rip that up? And? Yeah. And what? And that's just, you just don't want that. And then I'll cry.

And then what? I feel like that's pretty bad. That's pretty bad. I get it. Me crying in front of everyone because my poop is stinky. That's pretty bad. There are worse things.

Maybe you need to own it, right? Envision that where they're like, oh my God, stinky. And you go, you're damn right. You're damn right. I like to see, oh, sorry that I'm the real man in this house.

Deal with it. Be a fucking Clydesdale, okay? Yeah. Take huge dumps because that's what they do. Clydesdales are just shit right there in front of everybody. And they're launching it. Oh my God.

They're launching it. And Budweiser was like, we want you. We still want to hire you, okay? That's really good advice. Your advice to me is just to be confident. Clydesdale's own it so much that at Disneyland, someone is, someone's job just to walk behind them and be ready for it at any moment. Exactly.

And that could be anybody. That could be me. You could be the person that walks behind you. Be you, man. That could be me. Wow. Just go in there, be unabashedly myself. confident. You know, I'm going to try it.

It's the holidays, man. I'm not even going to poopery. I'm just going to own it. I'm just going to get in there. I mean, you could do a quick... No. Yeah, no, you're right. No. I don't. No. You know what? If my brother and his wife don't want to get a hotel room,

if they want to stay in my parents' house too, then I'm going to be pooping in there. See? That's right. Scare them out of there. Make them get a hotel room. Thank you. That's my goal. That's my goal is to poop so bad that it makes. makes my family literally not want to be in the house. Yeah, because there's nothing wrong with it.

You have to poop. I do. People have to poop. I do. I have to poop right now, actually. You should go get out of here, man. I'm going to go do it. Hey, Smosh, look out.

Watch out for this bathroom because I'm going to have to go tear it up, okay? You got it. Sorry. Okay, you know what? Actually, realistically, I'm probably going to go home and poop. So, listen, also, last thing, maybe you should practice pooping here. Yeah, practice here. Much to our dismay.

Practice here. Every once in a while I can. Okay. We're going to start leaving a bowl of dates out in the lobby for everyone so that you can eat those. Hey, I'm not going to eat them, but thank you. Thank you, everyone. A bowl of dates. My problem is solved.

Go forth, young boy. Wow. I shouldn't have called him young boy after all that confidence talk. We definitely ruined Christmas for someone. Yeah. We don't know who. pissed. This episode of Smoshmouth is brought to you by Smalls. My cats wrote in one of their problems. They said, hey, Bozo, we want better food. They call you Bozo? Oh my God, your life is tough. It's so bad.

But I've got the problem solved with Smalls cat food. Yep. Smalls cat food comes from protein packed recipes with preservative free ingredients that you can find in your fridge. All you have to do is sending your cat's diet, health, food preferences, and then Smalls makes a personalized sampler for your cat so you don't have to like go through the store look at random brands and also so you don't have to be called bozo all the time i know get it together shane here's a review from a real small's customer jennifer m said after every feeding he gets this burst of energy and starts running around the house and his fur is softer and more vibrant with higher contrast honestly i wouldn't recommend anything else now my cats personally love the assorted licks

set it's packed with all natural ingredients with zero gum or additives and it makes an excellent gift for any cat lovers that you might know. You. Yeah, me. What are you waiting for? Give your cat the food they deserve. For a limited time, because you are a smosh-mouth listener, get 60% off your first order plus free shipping when you head to smalls.com slash smosh-mouth.

One last time, that's 60% off your first order plus free shipping when you head to smalls.com slash smosh-mouth. Back to the show. Get out of here, bozo. All right. Our next problem is from Kim. Kim. Kim.

Kim. Hi. How are you guys? Newly married? Yeah. Yes. You're still a newlywed? I guess.

You're still a newlywed for years. I've decided. Hi. What's your problem? So another very serious problem. Yeah. I love my mom and I love her love for Christmas. Oh, yeah.

But every year, you know, we go to my whole hometown in Texas for the holidays. And she is obsessed with always playing the holiday radio station. Yep. And, you know, I love a good Christmas song. Not going to be, not going to lie. But it's like the same 10 songs that we play over and over again. It's like, how do I get her to play different stuff?

Because she's so attached to it. Like it's, no, this is real. This is real because I feel like it's kind of. part of the holidays is you hear the same song. Like Michael Boubley is super big during the holidays, and that's all you hear. I know. Does she have a CD player?

I don't know why I think that maybe... Does she have an iPod Nano hookup? What does she have, like, for her sound system? That's a good... She has her phone. Could you make her a little playlist before you get there? Share it with her on Spotify.

and then have her play that. Okay. She learns a new thing. She doesn't have Spotify, but I can always make her an account, I guess. Oh, she's a radio for life, woman. So, wait, sorry, going back, you, do you, how do you feel about Christmas music in general? I actually don't mind it. I actually really love Sabrina Carpenter's.

Okay. Yeah, very good. But, like, that doesn't play that much. That's newer, because when you're putting stuff on the radio, it's going to be the old stuff. Yeah, yeah. Bing Crosby. Yes, it's that, that all. All the time, every year.

Harry Como. So fun that you know all these names. I just know the song, but it's really... Frank Sinatra. Oh, I know Frank. Yeah, okay. I know Frank. Yeah, you know Frank.

Yeah, and Michael Boubley. Yeah, he's kind of, he's making his way towards being part of that crew. Yeah, no, he's basically there. Yeah. He doesn't do anything else other than that. That's kind of true. It's terrible. Do you like listening to Christmas music?

I really, I really do. It depends on the context. When I was a kid, I loved it. Yeah. I was obsessed. Same. Um, I think the problem is it starts too early now. Yeah.

Christmas music starts like beginning of November. It starts literally the day after Halloween and that, it used to be after Thanksgiving. Yeah, not fun. And now it starts too soon. I get burnt out. Um, so, and it also depends on where I'm at, like at a mall. It sounds amazing. Like, I like it as atmospheric. But in the car, do you, do you expect to be in the car a lot with your mom? Yes.

Why? Uh, well, it's Texas. So there's no, um, public transportation. Got it, got it, got it. Got, got it. So you're on your client scales. So you're, no, we don't actually ride horses everywhere to everyone's just spam. Sorry. I suppose I think my idea about the playlist is probably the best solution here.

Or you're going to have an intervention with your mom. I don't know. Either one could work, right? She already texted us that she's like, oh, it's. What is this? I feel like I'm getting so much. A big family text splash is like, It's Christmas!

It's on Christmas music! I'm like, it's on. I'm like, my poor dad. My mom is obsessed with Christmas, too. And some of my, my, like, oldest brother is just kind of like, whatever. Like, doesn't want to, like, get into the spirit. And my mom is always like, oh, let's all get together for a photo! And it's, like, so hard to wrangle us all.

What's the thing that's written in your house that's really funny? Family, put your arms around each. other and be there. And there's nothing better than that. And whenever Courtney looks at it and she goes, family, but your arms running each other and be there. Be there. Just be there.

Be there. I don't know. When it comes to Christmas time, if you have a mom who's super into Christmas, that is a tsunami of emotion. Yes, tsunami. I don't know. I think that you could, you know, change it up this year, make her a little playlist and then show her Spotify and then download the app

on Spotify, and then keep up playlist for the rest of your life and send them to her. I just might. I know my dad's kind of like a Pandora person. Pandora? And sorry, you're the problem. You brought up your mom is the problem. Your dad's listening to Pandora. That's the problem.

Serious radio and Pandora. What? My dad is stuck in the year 2011. We have to help get them out. Yeah, I just need to show them Spotify, it sounds like. That or just admit that this is your life now. There's something charming about the radio, though, especially Christmastime. Yeah, that donkey song's always on, you know, the Christmas donkey?

Donkey. What radio station are you listening to? Emily from Texas knows what I'm talking about. Do you know what I'm talking about? Yes. It's like, he-ha, he-ha, it's like, so da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-dun-you-go. Whoa, you guys really aren't listening to the radio. This sounds like the worst song ever made.

And it is on, often. Anyway, that's our, that's my solution. Shane? Do you feel good or? Kim, how do you feel? I think that's a solution I'm going to try. Okay, Kim. Well, thanks for being here, Kim.

Always happy to help. Thank you guys. Pandora. Enjoy the radio. Enjoy the radio. Okay, our next problem comes from, what's the name, Anthony? Antony. Antony.

Antony. That's right. Anthony. The Cripted is here. Oh my God, the Cripped! Yeah, I saw that episode, Shane. Okay. I heard what you called me.

Okay. Shane, you gotta stop calling Anthony names because he's always gonna come out of here and say it. I think it's high praise. Being called the cryptid. Bigfoot's also Cripted. He's awesome. You were the first one to say,

Where's Anthony? You were the first one to call me a cryptid. A Bigfoot. Okay. And I was polite. I never did any of that shit. No, yeah. See, and this is why...

He loves me more. Bitch You're cool, too Oh my God, cute Ah Oh my god Anthony you haven't been on We solve your problems ever

No, no I haven't Oh shit No, this is his first time I don't think I've been on Smosh mouth In over a year Oh damn I don't think I've been in any swash content For over a year actually

Okay Well that's not our We didn't I feel like Speaking of It's because of shame Okay speaking of cryptids I feel like on BitCity

You literally show up like Bigfoot You'll be like there and you like go through the set. That's true. We're like, wait, what was that? That is true. And you give someone a tattoo and then you leave. That's fair.

Wow. I will say, like, it's scary. If you have a problem, I hope that's not a problem for everybody here. Yeah, I got a problem. You're like, you're like, things are not looking good. No, no, no. Today, my problem has to do with Christmas trees. Christmas trees.

Oh, my God. Yes. Yes. Let's hear it. All right. So, ever since I was a kid, you know, in the cartoons and, you know, old, tiny, me depictions of Christmas trees. I would see that these Christmas trees had

candles that were lit with real fire. And it looks so cool. And then I would look at my scrawny little Christmas tree with its weak little baby lights or, you know, way back a day, those big, big ass bulbs that were like painted and the paint was chipping off. They still have. I mean, fire hazards.

So if there's already fire hazards in my house, why can't I like, okay, here, let me show you. I googled. Oh my God, picture reference? You're talking like, you're talking like... Look at this old-timey shit that I Google. Yeah, I type... Do you want her there?

19th century when they would literally light candles on a tree. Yeah, look how sick it looks. Okay, Anthony, it does look sick. This is a very scary, spooky photo. She is dead. It's also colorized in posts because this was black and white and very creepy. I had to get the colorized version. So you basically want real candles lit on your Christmas tree.

Yeah, it looks so cool. The aesthetic. is amazing. But then also, when I Google it, I also get images like this. That's awesome. Stop. Yeah, just like a bunch of old people

trying to put out a fire on their Christmas tree. I love that someone took a photo of that. Yeah, someone tried this. Didn't help and went, boom. So this is my fear. This is going to happen when I try it, but I really think it would just be so cool to have, like, imagine you go over to someone's house.

And there's real fire lit on these candles on a Christmas tree. That would be so sick. I think it looks amazing. I think people would feel a little like, I'd be a little on edge, for sure. Because, yeah, although in the 1800s, they were doing that, they were also, like, you know, using heroin for when they had cough.

They were sick. Women were eating moldy bread and then called witches. Yeah. That's literally the witch trials. Yes. Wait. What? I love Lizzie over there, like, no.

Lizzie went, no. Uh, fact, check it. I'm pretty sure that was just some good old-fashioned 1700s misogyny. Yeah. But, no, no, no, it was. And also, they were eating mold. Oh. Anyways, pretty cool.

Did they actually light their Christmas trees with candles back day? I think they actually did. Yeah, so it's possible. So it is possible. I think if the pine tree is, like, watered enough, it's not going to, like, catch, and also if it's angled right. But you are legitimately playing with fire. You need a strong girl. You need a strong girl, meaning the tree.

Oh, I was looking at you. Yeah. If you go to a Christmas tree, You need a strong girl to come over there and let those candles for you. And you know what? I'll stay in your couch and watch the candles go down. You need someone to watch it 24-7. Oh, that is the solution.

What? Yes. So I can get my Christmas tree with this real fire-lit candles, but I just need to pay someone to watch it constantly. Yeah. And if something happens, I will put my whole body on that tree. Hug the tree Are you looking for a job this Christmas?

Yes, I would love to work on Christmas I know you have a new one at home But maybe you can watch my Christmas tree instead I'll find a babysitter For nothing else to do I'll find a babysitter for Probably, you probably need them lit for a day Two days?

I'm thinking probably two weeks You know, to get in the Christmas spirit Wow Christmas, how long do you have your Christmas trees up before Christmas? Honey, where are you finding candles that last two weeks? Well, they're being swapped out But they're constantly lit Okay, wait a second.

Whoa, you need me to watch, light, swap out and then use my friends. If you're volunteering, yes. If you're volunteering, yes. That was literally like a job in London where they would go around lighting the street lamps. You're that person. And you know what?

I could see you doing that too. Really? Yeah. Thanks. Climb up there with a little ladder. Me with a mustache does this. Ew. That's what they did.

Or your Aldi character. Olay. O'le? Oh, I'm lighting the streetlights. Wow, this beautiful Christmas tree. See? I picture that's you. Yeah.

Okay, so I'll sleep on Andy Scout for two weeks. And watch his Christmas tree. I'll light, I'll swap, I'll sing. You're the full package. I know. Oh, God, Anthony. They really say that. I literally know.

It's crazy. Wow. Wow. So, well, I hope to not read any headlines of your house catching on fire. I've got him. Okay. Amanda will be there. So will you like have a party or is it just, you just want to like go to bed with them wet?

Just good vibes, you know, no parties. Just real chill. Just a chill Christmas. Would you be more inclined to want to be there if I had a party? Is that what you're not kidding? I don't think I'd want to sleep on the couch while you had a whole party. Well, because you can't participate in the party.

You're watching the tree. I'm working. Yeah. I'm like a security guard. Serious guy. So I wouldn't want a party. Okay. Because then I couldn't, I'd have to be under the blankets

the whole time. And that's, yeah. Are security guards not allowed to have a good time at parties? Nope. I don't think so. Because like at a concert, you go to a concert and they're just security guards there. They don't even look at them.

I'm like, bro, the music is amazing. Bob your head or something. They can't even look at you. It's illegal. to bob your head if you're being paid That's an intense job. You need intense focus. So that'll be me. I will not bob my head. Okay. Cool. All right.

Well, thank you guys. Amanda's literally solved your problem of salt. Thank you. Enjoy your Christmas tree. Enjoy your Christmas tree and I'll see you. See you soon. I'll see you in a couple weeks. Yeah. Wow. See ya. Bye Anthony. Tony. Ant.

Yeah, it all works. Yeah, he likes them all. Sometimes I call him aunt and I have fun with that. All right. That's fine. All right. Caitlin. Caitlin.

Welcome, Caitlin. Hi, Caitlin. Caitlin is fairly new to Smosh. Seven months? Yeah, something like that. Oh, my God. Am I incredible or what? My God, I feel really seen and validated.

Thank you. You're welcome. How's it been? How's the seven months been? Bad. Yeah. And we're here to talk about it. Entirely fair.

Well, you deal with scheduling, which I can't imagine at a place like this. Not my thing. It's complicated, but I was just being cheeky. I was having fun. I really love it here, and I love the people. I'm very happy to be here. Yay. Okay, but what's your problem?

Yeah, but you have a problem. Yes, I have a big problem. I am Jewish, and... Well, that's not the problem. I am Jewish, and... And that's fine. I'm Jewish, and there's a holiday coming up. I don't know if you've heard of it.

It's Hanukkah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the thing about Hanukkah and all Jewish holidays in general is that they do not respect the Gregorian calendar. They are based on a lunar calendar. So they're all over the calendar. Like you can never tell when a Jewish holiday is coming up. And I have no idea when Hanukkah is.

The issue is, because I just like not that observant, I don't like believe in God or whatever. Totally, yeah. Love that. Yeah, dropping, dropping it. Is this too real. Never. And people keep coming up to me to say, like, oh, isn't like Hanukkah coming up? Like, when are you going home to, like, see your family?

When's Hanukkah? I have no answer for them. It's really embarrassing because, like, this is my, you know, like, culture. And I know next to nothing about it. So does your family expect you to know? Like, is your family like, oh, are you coming to visit? Are you going to be here? Here's the thing.

I'll get these texts that are like, are you coming home from Hanukkah? And I'm like, I guess, but like, when? Like, what did? And did they know? No? No Jew knows. No Jew knows when Hanukkah is. That's the thing. That's the fun of it. It's a surprise. And I'm just really glad you're asking me and Shane this. Yep. I thought, you know what I need two Gentiles. Yeah. To help me and us. I was born in the Catholic Church. And you know that I'm really good with our schedules. You know that I'm so good. I'm very good.

Yeah, yeah, you are. And I am too. And I, because I am very good at keeping track of stuff. And I know what day it is. God, you're a nightmare. I had to, I did have to think for a second. And I was like, that's right. It is Tuesday. So. Good Lord. I have a baby and I know what day it is.

Well, because the baby tells you. It's Tuesday, mommy. Hey, mommy. Poopie change now. And it's Tuesday, mommy. Your baby's first word is Tuesday. Tuesday. But it was on a Thursday.

That's a real sad. You're off. When is Hanukkah. Please, please help me Please help me, mommy When is Hanukkah? And the thing is like, I could Google it But it's very embarrassing to have to Google it in front of people

This is a pride thing It's a pride thing So they're using the lunar calendar and you don't like that I love it There's nothing cooler than the moon If they're using the lunar calendar Can't you just like some night like look up at the moon Be like, oh yeah, Hanukkah's in two days

The moon's like, I got you Well, I can't talk to the moon because I'm Jewish Oh. Like, that's not, that's not like a power we have. I don't know if that's a religious thing. I think that might just be a me thing. Okay. That's the werewolf thing.

I'd talk to the moon a lot. You would talk to the moon. I'm like, hello, moon. And my baby's like, yeah, yo. Good night, moon. Good night, porridge. Good night porridge. And I wish I could say good night noises everywhere to the people who are asking me.

But what I guess, like, the specific thing I would love to get from you guys is like, can you help me with like a mnemonic device or something to memorize the date of Hanukkah 2025 because I know what day is what about what about like a watch that that's that only has those days you know what I'm saying like doesn't it you can have like an interface that tells you the day that Hanukkah starts that's a thought or you get a new calendar that literally is 2025 and it says when Hanukkah can start, but then you have to get another calendar for the next year. Oh, yeah. And I don't know if I have like a two calendar budget right now. I just started

working here. Oh, they're not paying you enough? No, they pay me fine. Hey, Caitlin, you're not getting enough money? It's fine. We could talk about it later in an email. We're here for seven months. We're going to put you on the spot right here in this podcast. It's an incredibly competitive wage for this industry. Totally. Right. So, yeah, um, let me think on that. I feel like you're good with numbers, right, Shane? Yeah. It's room for a loop on this one. I'm so bad with calendars that this guy's. What about your phone?

What about your phone? It's just the pulling out of my phone in front of people to check that feels like I've failed my ancestors. I think I think you may look, if I'm being honest here, I think 2025 might be a wash. I think you might have to get a 2026 calendar and next year you can nail it. Do that thing where you're going to have to guess this year. Yeah, okay. You're going to have to just show. show up to your family's house and be like, happy Hanukkah.

Yeah. Yeah. And also, there's a couple days. Like, you may not, you may not nail it the first day, but you're there within that. And then you just say, you got a few days. Oh. It's like when you forget someone's name, you go, oh my God, it's so good to see you. Chan. Chan.

So good to see you, Chan. And you just do that with dates. Okay. Oh, my God, I can't wait to see you on Hanukkah. So it's eight crazy nights and just show up anywhere. that I think that it might start at my parents' house and say... You couldn't. I wonder if you re-watch that movie if they say the dates in it.

For 2025? For 2025? I don't know if that will help. Yeah, probably not. Okay, so you're saying just like be confident and just Hanukkah is a state of mind and just celebrate it whenever. That's our main thing that we're going to say to most people. It's like the same exact as dating advice.

Just like be really confident and just enter the room and just own the room. And just be there. Just own the room, Caitlin. Yeah. Okay. I will. Thank you. Thank you so much. Good luck with everything.

Okay, happy holidays. Happy holidays. Happy Hanukkah. Yeah. Do you know when Hanukkah is this year? Well, you know. Well, you know. You know.

Isn't it it's before Christmas, right? It's like, isn't it like the, I'm going to throw out a date, the 16th? No. Damn it! You play, we're playing battleship, but with holidays. I bet it's the 19th. No. All right.

Is it early? It's the 12th. It's the 14th. Oh, I... Well, that's when the start of it is. Yeah. Then, so the 16th is one of them. Yeah, and so is the 19.

One of the days. See, being confident. So we were all correct. And we were all correct. And we were all correct. Okay. Speaking of remembering things like Hanukkah dates or your budget, this episode is brought to you by Rocket Money.

Taking control of your finances can be so overwhelming and so daunting. I just want the confidence to try to cut wasteful spending. and get my budget and my life and my money life in order. Well, Rocket Money is perfect for that. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. It's done that for me, and it's been amazing. Rocket Money has saved users over $2.5 billion, including over $880 million in canceled

subscriptions alone. Their 10 million members save up to $740 a year when they use. all of the app's premium features. It's amazing. This app does so much. I can see all my subscriptions laid out in front of me. I can see when I'm paying for one that I don't want, that I should cancel, and they'll help you cancel your subscriptions.

Yes, I love it. They give you alerts if a bill increases or you're about to go over budget. I would love to still hit my savings goal after the holidays. And Rocket Money can help me with that. That's right. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your first. financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com slash smoshmouth today.

That's rocketmoney.com slash smoshmouth. RocketMoney.com slash smoshmouth. Back to the show. Let's go. Our next lady is going to be Santa, aka Emily. Emily Parker. Emily P. Emily Parker. Hello.

Hello, Santa. Do you want to be Santa or Emily? I'll be Emily. Oh. My issue today, as you can, can see why it's an issue because I was like, how do I get out of playing Santa every year for my family parties? And Selena was like, oh, my God, I'm going to get you a Santa suit.

Oh, so she made the trauma last. Yeah. You have to play Santa? This is the issue every year is that I dress up as Santa and I don't, I don't think I'm like bill for that. I don't. Yeah, let's get into that, Shane. I don't think I'm built for that.

my family's huge my mom is one of 13 children um our family Christmas party has so many men at it none of them want to dress as Santa but they should and I am the only one willing to dress as Santa for the kids oh it's for the kids there are children present there are children present and none of the men want to do it why because they're tired of doing what I really I really don't know I don't know if at this point it's because they like think it's funny that i come out as santa i'm always like cute for the family christmas party and then i'm a couple drinks in and someone comes up and is like you got to be santa again and i'm like all right emily you don't have to do anything because you know what those kids are going to be fine what no no no i'm getting there hold on listen

in their minds they've got to figure the kids are all right where are you Kids, such a good song. Okay. How old are all these kids? So all my cousins are having babies as well as my siblings. So some of them are like. And a new wave of kids that you need to be saying. So it's like one to eight year olds right now.

And we have four newborns on the world. That is exhausting. Why can't the parents of the children take over? I don't want to add pressure to this, but it sounds like you are the Atlas holding up the world, but the world is Christmas in your family. Yeah. So true. I dress as Santa. I take pictures

with all of the kids. I like have the beard, the wig, boots, belts, glasses. And you don't want to because it's not. It just doesn't feel right.

I feel like I'm not cut out to be Santa. This is kind of my tone at all times. As you guys are familiar with. You're like a hipster Santa. And I can't it has the vibe of an L.A. writer.

I don't know what's going on. What do you need? This is just like the general, like, flatline. And do kids love it, or are they a little bit confused? I think they're a little confused, because I also don't live there for the new wave of kids. So a lot of them, like, don't even know who the stranger at the park is. So you truly are Santa.

I'm kind of just Santa. But I'm the Santa that when they're like, I have to hand out presents to. When they're like, can I open this yet? I'm like, yeah, I don't care. And then I'm like, oh, my God, wait, I'm Santa. And, like, I'm not cut out for that. So basically my... What does your ho-ho-ho sound like?

bad. Maybe this can be because I don't think I'm going to get out of this. This is going to gauge whether I think you're cut out to be Santa or not. And I'm going to be honest with you. Yeah, I'm going to be a casting director. All right, I'm going to listen. This is too earnest for me. Again, I'm just not

just not just not. Just go for it. Ho, ho, ho. Oh, that's terrible. That's really bad. Somebody's sick. That actually scared me a little bit. Yeah, that's tough. That's tough. Yeah, just a baby on my lap looking up at me And I'm like, ho, ho, ho, what do you, what do you want for Christmas? Yeah.

Listen, Em, I think, I think it's time to hang up the suit. Yeah. And maybe pass it on to a parent who decided to have the child. And they should take. And that's, and she's a parent. She can say that shit now. I can say that shit. I can fucking say that.

I see you people. I can say that shit now. New skill unlocked. New skill on. New skill. I'm talking shit on parents. Mom bullshit. Um, yeah, I think you're done.

Yeah, dude. I can just be done. Just be confident. Just be confident. Own the room. I know what it's like, though, because this is a family tradition problem. You've fallen into being the family tradition of doing this and you're kind of tired of it. When did you start doing it?

Were you, were you a kid when you started doing it? No, it's been recent years. So it started like, this will be my third year being sick. Like, it's pretty new. Okay. The first year, the first year was just because my nephew was too young to be brought to the mall, and my sister wanted, like, a mall Santa picture. So my mom bought a whole Santa suit, and my dad refused to put it on. So I was like, give me the suit.

I'll take a picture with the baby. Wow. So you did it out of necessity. That time is passed. Yeah. It's okay. You can pass on the suit. Yeah.

And these daddies can step up. I love daddies. It's such a funny word. Daddy's. These daddies can step up and put on the suit. Because you know what, honey, you deserve to look cute. Yeah. That rhymed.

That means it's destiny. That rhymed. I think you've earned a Christmas off from working at your family party. Agreed. They can take photos with you without the Santa suit because you're Emily now. You're not Santa anymore. You're so right. Thank you.

I don't even need this beard. Whoa. Oh, trash it. Oh, God. And it won't come off. It's chosen you. Yeah, the end of the hat is tough. Thank you.

You're welcome. All right. You're so welcome. Good luck. Good luck to you, Emily. Wow. That's a real issue. That's tough.

To be the auntie is, it's a thing. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of pressure. It's a lot of pressure, man. Okay, our next problem comes from another Emily. Emily Rose. Emily Rose.

Get over here. Yeah. Oh my God, hi. A cowboy Christmas. Oh my God, it's a cowboy Christmas. Y'all. You look beautiful. Thank you.

Welcome. I get to wear this hat and no one ever sees it. So I was like, I got to wear the hat. You have to wear it. You got to wear the hat. God, it's so good. Thank you. How many cowboy hats do you own?

One. This is it. Oh, wow. I mean, I have more boots than hats. Like boots, it's like, you have a good hat. You have a good hat. Do people wear hats in Texas? Oh.

Oh, yeah. They do. Who are you? Cowboy hats are truly like Arizona, Colorado everywhere. People are wearing cowboy hats. It's a sun protector. It looks good. Same with like cowboy boots.

Like I wear them in the rain. I don't think you're supposed to. I'm getting real southern right now. Because it's like like the material. Yeah, because you don't want to. Like I think there's certain ones that are like weatherproofed. But like, yeah. This is a really nice hat.

I do not want to get in the rain. No, no. And I wear on a rainy day. Okay. What is your problem, Emily? So we've talked a lot about kind of the December holidays. I want to talk about the hot. holiday that kind of comes on the cusp of

December and January. I want to talk about New Year's. And I want to talk about New Year's resolutions. Because I don't like, I guess, what are y'all's first? I don't like New Year's resolutions. I personally think it's way too much pressure. I think you should

have a New Year's resolution at the end of October so that you can start simmering on it for two months and then. And then. and then when New Year's Eve comes you get to just enjoy

you don't have to be like aggressive about like I gotta get back to the gym I gotta write that novel I gotta book all these things it's just like just start to ideate on it for two months and then it'll feel like you kind of did it I feel like though then you're just like

you still have the deadline so you're still and it's still for me it's like the thing of like the pressure of like one thing in this year what about you Um, I, I used to really get into them, right? Um, I don't think they're ultimately, I don't want to say they're good or bad. I think motivation works so differently per person.

Yeah. And as you go through life, you figure out like, what motivates me? What, what excites me? And I think, I think sometimes I try to go more from a place of excitement as opposed to like, I need to do this in order to feel happy. It's like, oh, what do I want? Like, what would be fun to do? Ultimately, how I work and I think a lot of people work is, is it's ultimately it has to be

day by day. And you have to be baby steps. It's like, what would I like to start doing every day this year? And it's like, the problem with a resolution or things is like, if you fail, then it's like, well, I failed and now I'm done. As opposed to, oh, I didn't do it this week. Let me pick it back up and start trying to do it again. And once again, just day by day, because if you make it bigger than the day, then it becomes

too big to even visualize or grasp. So, and there's so many things that I've been saying for years that I've not done. but now I've, like, I've eased the pressure off. I'm like, hey, I'm just trying to stretch every day. Yeah. Not, I need to do the splits. He wants to do it on this table. You've been saying that for a long time.

I've been saying it for like five years. For some reason, stretching is just a really hard thing for me to get motivated to do. I get it. Because it really requires, like, slowing down for like 30 minutes to an hour. And that's, it's hard for me. It's really hard. But I take the pressure off. I go, hey, I'm going to start doing this every day.

Like, what do you want your New Year's resolution to me? Can you guys help me with that? Like, I want something fun. Like, you want something fun. You know what might be better is, as opposed to, like, I think what's toughest. Because I think, like, the fun things are achievable. And, like, you don't feel the pressure of, like, oh, man, like, yeah, like, I really wanted to write a book this year.

And it's like, oop, I didn't do that. We were all so big. Honestly, I know. I would say, having write a book on your to-do list is impossible. I think everyone should delete it from their to-do list because it's kind of like you have to feel the magic. You have to feel the vibes. to write a book. I don't, having it on

to-do list is like, I will never literally do that. True. You know what I mean? There's something to that, too, of like letting things go in order for it to like, because yeah, you put the pressure on too much. It becomes work. It becomes a dreadful thing. What if your New Year's resolution is like do one

fun thing that you would never do a month? I like that. Is that attainable? It might be kind of nice to, like, what's something you want to do, but you kind of like judge yourself for. You're like, I'm not going to do this. This doesn't make sense. But if you make it a resolution, then you put that pressure on something that you're like, well, I'm not going to do it otherwise. Like, I don't know. I'm trying to think of, like,

oh, a good one maybe for next year. It's like, I'm going to go see three movies by myself next year. Like, that's something I love doing. I do that so much already. I am so alone. I love seeing movies by myself. I was here last time and I asked you guys to help me with my dating profile. And did that work? No, I'm not. I have, I was not on a date at all this year. Listen, honey, you work so... You're in Los Angeles trying to date. You also work so hard. Okay, let's take away dating.

Let's take away book, all that stuff. Let's make Emily happy. First and foremost. What if it's like ice skating? Love it. Okay, what if it's like bowling? Love it. What if it's...

Anything? What if it's... I've been picking up a new hobby. Right on a horse through Griffith Park. Ooh. A thought sale. You know what? Maybe it could also be

as like picking up classes or something that then once you start it, then you kind of are committed. Yeah. Whereas if it's something that like it's a choice every day, it's easy to fall off of it, right? Like for instance,

like, oh, me trying to stretch every day, I fall off of that, I go, ah. But if I go, okay, I'm going to sign up for eight classes of yoga. I'm like, I paid for it. I got to do it. Yeah.

Then you kind of give yourself that push. Yeah. And maybe it's not a resolution for the year, but it's like, okay, I'm going to do this thing in January. Yeah. And then you just start,

Totally resolution like monthly things. Make yourself happy because I feel like you work so hard, Emily. The Pitt Channel is incredible. It's so much fun and you need some time for you.

So don't even think about trying to meet someone or anything. Just like go out, do fun shit, make yourself happy and all the other stuff will come. Thank you. And be confident. I think that's the big...

I've been told I need to be a bigger bitch. So I'm going to work on. that next year. Yeha. Yeha. All right. All right. Bye, Emily.

You get out of here. All right. Next up, we have Chance. Chance. Yeah. Chancey. Yes, yes. What's up?

Chance. Hi. Hey, Chance. Mary Crim. Mary Crims. Uh, y'all want to talk? Or what? Do you want to talk?

Not Chance just coming in here fucking try to tell us what to do. Okay. Yeah, okay. Chance? What's your problem, man? Okay. So my family is like, we've, like, outgrown our Christmas traditions.

Oh, okay. We're all kind of black sheep. Like, my mom moved away from her family. My stepdad moved away from his family to a new place. My brother's at college. I'm at college, so we're all coming home now. Okay. We're all kind of like.

You're at college? I was at college and I never moved home from college. Heard. Heard. Not it. Yeah, I'm in college. I'm 22. senior year.

Okay. Excited for life. And now we're like, what the hell do we do for Christmas? Because we open a couple presents. And now we're at the point where we're like, we don't need to get presents for each other. We're all adults. We're just like, okay, there's no kids. And you're not going anywhere.

So it's literally just four of you. We're still four of us. My adopted brother Fred is in Amsterdam. He doesn't come home. So it's just the four. of us. I know what to do. Okay. Whoa. Okay. We've, okay. Okay. No, what I said?

Well, the other thing is, um, they're white. They're all white. Oh, that changes what I was going to say. Okay, good, okay, good. I thought so. I thought so. No, it doesn't. It does it. It does. It does not. Anybody can do this. Okay. They're all white? Yeah. Huh. And then my dad's family is the black family. You don't see them on Christmas. I can see them. I usually see them Christmas night. Oh, so you know. need to be around for night. I'm not sure my...

No, I think we're moving towards like going on a trip. That's, okay, that was my solution was every single year, if you can't afford it and it doesn't need to be like super far away just like a little bit of a trip to change the surroundings. Okay. And then all you do is change the surroundings and it'll already feel like you've

refreshed everything and have it be in a place where there's stuff to walk to. Okay. Right? So that you can like make your own different traditions. Shane doesn't like this. So, but you're saying going on a trip with them, but you still need to be available that night to go. That's what I ask. I don't, no, we can go on a trip. He's saying no. Because I know some people do like a cruise, like a Christmas cruise. Do you like cruises? People do, I've heard of a Christmas cruise. Me and Angel actually did a play

about a Christmas cruise. And? It was very funny. Yeah. Well, maybe don't go. Not a Christmas cruise. I'm not being on the water for Christmas. No. No. No. No. No. No. And what's, this is in Tennessee? This is in Tennessee. I feel like, okay, so going on a trip. So like, if I'm going on a trip, I'm renting an Airbnb, what do I do with them the whole time? That's why I said, like, it has to be like down,

it has to be like in a downtown area. Like, freaking Solvang. It's very Christmassy. You're going to go from Tennessee all the way to Solvang, California. No, he's going to drive up two hours and they're going to meet him here. Yeah, have them come meet you. I'm making chances life easy. Yeah, okay.

What I'm saying is what are you going to. to do with them you have to go to a place where there is walking activity you have to be like on the street where there's walking stuff for just one day okay no no no i'm like i'm hearing you i'm hearing you okay christmas cruise was i think have have a have a location that has everything baked into it that's fun and then you guys just show up and just like eat and drink yeah yeah that makes sense to me hey that's all we're doing on christmas okay whether it's four or 30 people we're literally just eating and drinking. Okay, so you're saying Solvang.

Yeah. Now, see, this is where the white comes in. I'm sorry, because what are my eating? I need spice. I need flavor. Right. They can't do that. Oh, they don't eat spice or flavor.

No. Oh. My stepdad does, but Mom and Dalton can. No, it's tough. Mom and Dalton. If you go somewhere and you're going to restaurants, then you get the spice there. Then you choose the spicy option.

Yeah, you got to make sure, because you're not staying at the house. and your family's not cooking. So, yeah, that's all of it. Listen, you have a white family. I feel like you just have to kind of, you know, let them. The world is my oyster. Yeah, you could do anything. It's a white Christmas.

You could literally do anything you want it. Hey, you won't believe this. I have a white family too. No. And so. What do you guys do for Christmas? Oh, we kind of just hang out. They eat mayo.

I'm so sorry. That was rude. That was rude and stupid. Okay, well, I'm taking them to Solvang. Actually, Solvang sounds pretty cool for Christmas. I don't know if there's any spicy food there, just saying. There's wine. Perfect.

Yeah. There's wine. It's like old Dutch. I feel like white people would eat that shit up. Yeah. Solvang. Yeah. And mayo.

All right. Okay. I hope you feel, I hope you feel good. Have good luck. Here I come. My family does not eat mayo, but there is not much spice at all. Anywhere. What do you eat?

It's hard, not much. It's hard, okay. It's tough. You guys don't eat? Oh, boy. We'll talk about it. Okay, we'll talk about it. Yeah, don't worry about it.

Next up, we have Lizzie. Lizzie, Lizzie, Lizzie, Lizzie. Lizzie, Lizzie, Lizzie, Lizzie. Hi. Hello, Lizzie. Oh my God, she brought stuff. Yeah, I have an example. I actually am going to solving for Christmas's here.

I said it because I've always wanted to go. That's so funny. Yeah. Is it a big Christmasy place? Yes. They do. Oh. It's like, so I went for my friend's wedding one time.

and it's a very cute, like, Danish Dutch, yeah. It's, like, storybook looking. It's so cute. Danish Dutch, whatever the fuck they are. Whatever. That weird thing. Sorry. But they go, like, hard for Christmas.

It's, like, fully decked out, like, storybook, village, yeah. It's right near Los Alivo, so it's just, like, one of my favorite places for wine. So good. I've heard the wine's good. Yeah, James and I are going there. Oh, lovely. Speaking of James, this is my problem. James.

It's James. My problem is James. It's James. No, actually. My problem is James is too good at gift giving I cannot compete Why is he a hero? Yeah because out of everyone in the office

He's the closest to Santa. Look at that beard Oh my God, that's our dream He's got like a Santa beard Like Santa but Santa's working Like you know like he does construction Yeah young fit Santa Yeah that's our dream is when we get old It's to be Santa and Mrs. Claus

Oh my God He's already going a little gray and it's going to like And what do you do as Santa and Mrs. Claus? Just like work at a ball or something, I don't know. Yeah, just work at all. Yeah. Go to the North full. Okay. So, James is way too good at gift giving.

He's way to get a gift giving. This is Exhibit A. This is what he gave me for Christmas last year. Why, like Clue? Why like Clue? He made my favorite board game with my favorite movie. He made this. Oh, that's tough.

So, yeah. That's tough. Basically, I'm screwed. So these are all the players, Charlie Edward Miller. Of course, of course. These are the weapons, the truck. What are the weapons? The truck.

Charlie's gun. Baseball bat. These are the locations, the meadow. Oh, shit. They're all, of course, in magic sleeves. We've got the meadow as a location, the swan resident. God. Look it.

These are, like, the weapon pieces so that you put them in the room to guess who the murderer is. And this is, like, the little envelope. When you put your guess in it, or the answer is in it. What is literally, he could sell this. Yeah. So what the fuck do I do? God, I have no idea. Oh, my God, dude.

Does he end? Okay, he doesn't drink. No. He doesn't drink. Well, this is the thing, though. I actually feel like with James, it's pretty, he loves a lot of things. Yeah. He's a big nerd.

Yeah. Loves Lord of the Rings, loves Magic the Gathering, Star Wars, board games. I feel like there's a lot of realms that you could, you could. Yes. And I know, like, I'm pretty good at gift giving. It's just that he like makes these things. He never gets me what I ask for. me what I didn't know that I wanted, you know?

Oh my God. This man is just... He made this clue game. He, um, I learned how to make donuts in the pandemic and then he bought me a deep fire for Christmas and then, uh, he bought me a nugget ice machine. So like some of it's handmade and some of it's like, I've always wanted a nugget ice machine. He got me that.

He might be Santa Claus. Listen, he might legitimately be Santa. I think that you should just surrender to it. He's just a hero. Just he's the winner. He's just the one. Yeah. He's magic.

Uh-oh, sorry. Your boyfriend's amazing. Honestly, does he, so gift givers don't always need amazing gifts. Some people just love to gift gifts. Does he love gifts? Yeah, I mean, like as much as anyone loves a gift. Okay, last year I did make him something. I made, I sewed like a map, a fabric map of the United States, and I made all these buttons for the national park so that we could put when we go to them.

Well, you killed it. Just give him that again. Just give him it again. I feel like maybe, I think James also is one of those people that loves when people love the, like, show appreciation for what he loves. Yes. I feel like if on Christmas Day, you're like, all right, let's play Magic the Gathering. And you would practice and you were really good and you actually beat him. But then I have to learn Magic to Gathering.

Wait, wait, wait. You have so many people here who could teach you. I don't want to. That's the boy. Brennan, like, tipped his hat. Like, he's ready. Wait, I have an idea. I don't know if this exists.

But what if you find on Craigslist, Lord of the Rings reenactment actors? And they knock on your door at Solvang. And they go, we have to, we have to take the ring, Frodo. And someone's, maybe you're not Sam. I'm going to be honest. That actually home run. Can you imagine there's a knock on the door you're in like a little cute Solvang Cottage? And also an eight foot tall Gandalf actor like steps in.

He's just like, Bilbo, like, Peeu Bo Baggins. We love interactive, like, escape rooms and stuff. So that is, like... I mean, maybe... I don't know if Greg's list. But, hey, if I make, like, a solving, like, Mordor, like, walk around.

Puzzle. Yes. Ooh, this is a great idea. Oh, my God. And you're in solving. It's so fucking cute. It's Lord of the Rings 5s. And you just have to, you have to go, like,

drop off the ring somewhere cute. Have you? I also. feel like a trip. Have you guys gone to New Zealand? I was going to say that. No, that's a dream. We've never been out of the country. But New Zealand should be where you go, because that's just a lot of the race. No, I know. That's like, New Zealand, Australia

is like our dream. That's for the long run. For now, reenactment. Hire someone off Craigslist to be Sam and Frodo. We have like a lot of actor friends. I could probably just ask. You could literally just ask your friends and then they go, now good luck. And then you follow, or they

can say something cooler than that. Chance and Angela Bustin. Angela's getting it all wrong. She's never seen one of the rings. Go drop this ring in some weird thing. Angela's like, I'm Gandalf. This is a man. I want to play this.

Let's play it. I've never played it actually. Well, I'm not like that's the first gift. Lizzie, you got to, you know, do the gifts. I just got it last year. Okay, it's not, I mean, I guess it has been a whole year. It's been, yeah, listen, you're also busy, but, but you're just appreciating it. I love it.

I love it so much. It's really cool. James, you're a hero. James. He's not even here today. You're Santa. No, he's probably in the North Pole. He's probably working on your next gift.

He's building it right now. And if you do do this re-enactment thing, please take photos. Okay. Yes. This is a great idea. Yay. We're sending everyone to Solvang for Christmas. That's our dinner thing.

Literally. All right. Thank you, Lizzie. Thank you, Lizzie. Okay, so I know they're going to Solvang, but speaking of thoughtful, incredible gifts, this episode of Smoshmouth is brought to you by ORAFrams. ORAFrams is a digital picture frame where you can upload your favorite videos or photos

anywhere at any time. Mm-hmm. And I know Lizzie's struggling to find the right gift, but I will say I gave my mom one of the carver mat frames from Oroframes and she loves it. I think it's the perfect gift. If you're not sure,

everybody loves memories. It's the best. It's the best, and they can look at it anytime and you can upload as you go so you can add more. And you can preload it with photos. All of this is done through the ORAFrams app, which is super simple to use and makes it all actually pretty fun.

Perfect gift. For a limited time, save on the perfect gift by visitingoraframes.com to get $35 off ORA's best-selling carver matte frames, named number one by wirecutter by using promo code smoshmouth at checkout. That's A-U-R-A-Frams.com promo code smosh-mouth. This deal is exclusive to listeners and frames sell out fast, so order yours now to get it in time for the holidays. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. Back to the show.

Let's go. All right. Next up, is it, is it Selena? Is it Selena? Our director of the pod. I'm not the last one. Okay. I know you're not.

Hello, Selena. Hello. What is your problem? I'm going to take this off because I can hear you guys. My problem is, well, you guys are married. Yeah. Not to each other. Yeah, he asked and I said yes.

Oh, okay. but I was wondering what your strategies are in terms of splitting your time between your families for the holidays. I guess I have, I'm kind of like, mine's a situation that I can't really control because H's family is in Belarus. But his mom is here.

So I would say we pick and choose. Like this holiday we're going to go see my family and then Christmas will be around for. Oh, so it changes. every year. It changes all the time. We don't, we don't stay. So, so Thanksgiving and Christmas is a good time to split the time. Got it. So I don't like splitting the time on one holiday. It's way too overwhelming. I, yeah, I can't imagine splitting the time for one holiday. But it's, it's a little tricky, too, for me, because so much of Cort's family is here in California. Right. So it is

kind of like, we're not traveling to see them. Yeah. Whereas my family's all out of state. So it's kind of choosing the times of year to go do that, but it fluctuates. It's not like, this is a rigid rule. I think as long as you both, like, are respecting each other and, and appreciating each other's time and negotiating it together, it shouldn't feel like too much pressure. Well, your families are far. Yeah. So yours are in the, mostly in the Philippines. Yeah, but I met my immediate family is in New Jersey. Okay, so you're East Coast. And then this is Alaska. Is Washington. They've moved down from Alaska. Okay, so it's a little A closer.

Okay, wait a second. Washington, you know, is just three-hour flight or something? So what we're doing this year is I'm flying because his mom does not want him to miss Christmas with his family. Like that's like the rule. Oh, that's the rule. So last year I didn't go see his family at all. But this year, I'm going for a few days before Christmas. We're flying on Christmas to go to the East Coast.

So we're basically spending Christmas on a plane. A lot of people do. Angela does that every year. A lot of people do because it's actually the cheapest flights out of the year, too. So you're doing Christmas in Washington and then Jersey. I think you're going to realize that that's going to be too much. And here's the deal. You can absolutely set a boundary of like, I will do every other Christmas.

That's fair. Maybe he always has to do that, but you will do every other. Or maybe he'll join you with every other. Is Thanksgiving a thing? Like, yeah, because. Not really. You don't do Thanksgiving. No.

Yeah. I didn't grow up with Thanksgiving. And also, we don't like turkey. You can do a ham. That's true. Hey, you can do a nice hand. But it's just like, it's like almost you can start making new traditions of like, hey, we're going to meet up this time of year to do this thing here.

Yes. Just like when is everybody free? And you just make that. Also, maybe one year you invite them down here. That's my thought. I'm like, I don't know. Like, my family has celebrated Christmas in like a cold place for. so long now. Now I'm like, oh, what's it like celebrating Christmas in L.A.?

Yeah. You can change it up. It's, it's, there's no rules. Like, you guys can literally change it up. And you can be, you can start to be like, this works for us this year because it's really expensive. Do you stay here. For Christmas, we usually stay here because it's so last year we, we met, um, my sister. So my sister's husband's from Ireland. So they go every other year to Ireland. So last year we went to Ireland. Oh, that's cool. It was fucking epic. I mean, I was pretty sick the whole time because I was pregnant, but like, it was amazing. This was, uh, this is for another time, but I also want to broach the subject of taking a trip on Christmas, kind of like chance, like for that holiday.

Oh, yeah, yeah, but like, how do I navigate the, hey, your mom wants you to spend Christmas? Well, would you invite? Oh, you just want to go with your. It's, it's a tough thing. You kind of have to just draw that, like, you just have to say, draw those boundaries. what's happening this year. Yeah. You're your adults, you're your own couple.

Yep. Yep. You respect your family members. They have to show that same respect for you. It's tough. It's tough because you grow up and they're like, oh, you're my child. So we do this thing. And it's like at a certain point, it's like, hey, man, I'm no longer eight years old. Like, I'm living my own life, making my own decisions.

And flights are really expensive. You can change up your own traditions. Yeah. I mean, you kind of have to. Yeah. There's kind of a thing when your family's out of state, it's kind of this weird. thing that I do in my head where I'm like, well, I'm not going for Christmas, but I'll make sure I come out for like sometime in the spring and see you guys. Like, there's a certain amount

of time that I try to make it out there to see them. I'm like, it may not be Christmas, but it's like, who cares if it's Christmas? I'm going to see you for the same amount of time this year. Mine is usually summer. Mine's usually like around my mom's birthday and summer and it's so great because the holidays are just... Plus, I'm realizing I only ever see like my hometown in the winter her now because I only come home for Christmas. So now it's like, and Jersey. It's so pretty.

I'm like, I kind of want to go back for like spring and fall. Yes. Oh my God, fall, of course. Yeah. You guys can help me talk to his mom. You just have to be confident, Selena. All right.

We'll get her on the phone. We'll talk to her. Okay. No. I can call a funeral director, but not someone's mom. That's too stressful. Right. I got it.

Okay. Well, good luck. Hey, good luck with everything. Thanks. And you got one more. One more? Yeah. All right.

Thank you, Selena. Okay, we have Sarah. Alyssa and Ollie here. Alyssa. How do we do this? And we have Ollie. All right. So we have three people here today with one problem.

What is? Yeah, what's the... Or is it three different problems just all at the same time? It's kind of the same. We also realize we're kind of like the ghost of Christmas. past, present, and future going on here? So wait, so we're visiting you guys. Sarah, are you the past? No.

I think I'm present. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. Alyssa, I'm past. Yeah. Oh, you're the past. You're the future. Okay. Okay. Now, is this like Muppets Christmas Carol past? Absolutely. Okay, thank you. Oh, presents is a good one.

I'm Walter from Steller. Yes. Okay, so you all have a problem. Yeah. The Muppets, this is a good segue. though, that is the issue. It is the Muppets that you're an issue with. I get it. No. No. My issue

is that now I'm an adult. I'm in my 30s. The whimsy of Christmas for me is like dead. Not to be dramatic. I used to love Christmas. It used to be my favorite holiday and I like, this year November 1st, they were putting up Christmas

Scarlin downtown. I was pissed. It's like I don't know what happened in my soul, but I I hate Christmas maybe I don't know what's going on But there's so much And the whimsy is gone

And I want to get it back I want to get it back Yeah And it's making me upset Because I never used to be this person I understand Yeah you've changed Do you guys feel the same?

Yeah Mine's a little different I grew up very Christian And like a lot of religious trauma And stuff I'm a spooky girl as well This is as festive as I get Yeah

for Christmas So, I'm just trying to, like, get into the holiday spirit or know what that was. I don't think I ever found Christmas, you know. Yeah. Just like Cindy Lou Who. Right. Oh, my God. That's all right.

Where are you, you know? Yeah, where are you Christmas? Yeah, exactly. And Ollie? Hey. My issue, I was raised as Joe's witness, so I was never allowed. What a Lord draw. You knocked on people's doors at the worst time.

I was a child knocking on people's doors. I don't know if that was. And K-pop's illegal for. get home of his witnesses. But yeah, so kind of a similar situation with Alyssa, too. I never really got to celebrate Christmas, so I don't know. It's hard to connect

to Christmas now, because I don't have that nostalgia feeling of it. Yeah. So it's like, yeah, it's just hard to get into the spirit. And do you want to get into the spirit? Yes, I'm jealous. I want that, like, that, like, iridescent lighting of the Christmas tree and that feeling again. All right. I love the cookies.

I get it. They need to find their Christmas spirit. I think this is the thing you're asking where is Christmas and I think we know exactly where it is and there's a little place called Solvay you know it's crazy my hometown is like 15 minutes from Solving. You were in right there.

Okay you were so close. We're sending everyone to Solving right now. We're going to Solving. No but seriously I will say in order the point of Christmas is to hang out with the people that you love and care about and to eat things you wouldn't

normally eat. Okay. Okay. That is literally, I think the point of Christmas is just to spend time. So how do you just find the spirit again by like maybe making traditions with people that agree with you about Christmas and you kind of do something together? I just like, Christmas can be whatever you make it. I don't know. Like I get it though. You want to be like, I'm into tinsel.

I like that. Okay. My other issue is I have a mother who loves Christmas. And I live, I'm from Wisconsin, I've lived here for like eight years, but I have to go back every Christmas. And I've tried to do the, like, I'm an adult now, and I don't have to, but I'm still single, which is totally fine. I'm not upset about that. Yeah. And I have to go to my childhood home and sleep in my twin bed.

It's traumatizing. Why do we have to do this? Exactly. And last year, I tried to not go, and she, like, paid for my plane ticket. So it's like, I'm not going to not go if you're paying. for the trip. This year, my mental compromise is that I'm renting a car. So if I need to like go somewhere, I can have like a little day trip in Chicago maybe. And maybe that'll feel more fun and festive. But it does, she's not listening to this. It kind of feels like a trap

sometimes. Yes. It's just like I'm in Wisconsin for a week. Well, it sounds like Christmas isn't any of your traditions that you guys want to do. Yeah. Right? It's like you kind of need to like Make, well, Jehovah Witness, I don't know what your tradition. I don't think there, it's like no celebration. No holidays. When I found out it's like, no, you don't celebrate your birthday. I was like, who would want to do that? I don't know.

That's wild to me. Man, it sucked. Okay, so there's the family aspect, which is its whole own thing. And then there's just getting into the Christmas zone. I think what gets me into the Christmas zone is truly like, like doing things for others like like really like going out like shopping but like shopping with the intention for other people is really nice or like crafting something for someone else and also just cozy things like you kind of have to set the mood right like like yeah put on a it doesn't have to be a Christmas movie I my argument any trilogy is a Christmas movie so I just read this we were on assumptions and I just read that and I think that that is so brilliant I totally agree with you it's like it's a time like make some hot cocoa some hot cider a drink that you like and sit down and watch. Watch a movie trilogy that you love. Yeah. Die hard. Die hard. Die hard. Watch die hard with a vengeance. Put on a couple twinkly lights and then maybe

maybe just add one tinsel and just look at it for a second and it's something in your something in your heart like the Grinch the little baby heart might like start to grow. That's what I want. You want that? I want it. I want to I used to love Christmas. Again, this is the most like aggressive anti-Christmas I've ever felt in my life. And that's okay. I also think it has been it's been commercialized it was always commercialized right our entire life but it's been hardcore these past few years and it sucks all the joy out of yeah like i'm kind of like i might get haters for this but like the amount of netflix christmas movies is pissing me off and the way they're made is like they're not made with christmas in mind no like lifetime at least

it was like no there's christmas in those but but it's been so much so you almost have to like push so much of it away and kind of find your Christmas I love that. Yeah. For me it's like sometimes it feels like performative I guess. Totally. Yeah. And it's like I can't get into the holiday spirit you know there's like seasonal depression stuff.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. So it's hard to like push past that or just put on that happy face and like pretend like everything's okay. I think lean in I think lean into the spookiness of it. Oh yeah. I think Christmas is spooky as hell. I mean we have someone coming through our chimney dropping off gifts like

freak yeah crampas I love crampas yeah I mean truly make your own traditions

because yeah like and that's kind of the thing if you're like saying no I'm drawing the line on my family

traditions on what we're doing you can make your own decisions and start a new thing yeah and even say that to your family

be like hey I want to do this this year like and you can literally start from scratch yeah like you can start

over I mean to be fair my wife also her family celebrates Christmas a lot at least that's been kind of helping but like it's not the same either

because I mean we're all old so I would say like the week of Christmas is oftentimes kind of bullshit right because it's like okay we got family traditions we got to go see our family got to do all this stuff whatever it's almost kind of those weeks leading up to Christmas that are the most Christmassy but that's where it's like you kind of have free reign

to like be like what do I want to do with this time right what tradition like make a new tradition with your friends with your partners with whoever even just by yourself like something that you want to do, like... Look at it as time off. Why don't you just start there? Like, look at it as time off.

Yeah. Maybe go to a haunted house if there are any open. Honestly, sounds kind of badass. I know. I'll find them. We should go to a haunted house in Soulding.

There we go. Maybe Lizzie will... It's like, do it for us, yeah. This drunk... This drunk aunt died 50 years ago here in Solvang. She's like, choked on a green world. Go to Solvang, find Gandalf, and literally have the best time

making your own traditions that's fun to me I've never been to Solving I've never been to Solving I've never been to Solving either is what's funny I've never been once they got this

Shumash Casino so we can also go gamble We're going gambling I've also never been to a casino This is a time to start New Tradition Yeah Gamble

gamble away everything for Christmas That could be fun Well I That's the best advice I have Yeah I struggle with it too. Did that help? Yeah. Okay. Yeah? And also

you don't have to put on a happy face for anybody, okay? Yeah. Eat in your feels. It's all good. Do you guys want to dress up spooky? Do you want to be a ghost for the rest of the year? I already was this year pretty much so. You may do that. If you want to wear a veil, you can do that. Do it.

Candelabras? Yeah, we should be candelabras. Candelabras are, they're both Halloween and Christmas. We should have told Anthony to just do candelabra. Labros for his Christmas dream. Bring him back. Yeah. He's gone.

Oh, he's gone. Where's Anthony? Where's Anthony? Christmas ghost. Well, good luck to all of you. Good luck. Thank you. Good luck.

Good luck and happy holidays. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Happy New Year. Happy New Year. Happy Halloween. Wow. Happy Halloween.

Thank you, Sarah. Thank you, Alyssa. Thank you, Allie. I really think everyone here at this job, man, the celebration is just not working for a couple weeks. this year has been insane kind of why I'm like just hanging out for Christmas

who because what how many videos did Smosh upload this year like over 400 like everybody we're doing it for you is working on those doing it for you everyone at Smosh has been working so hard

yeah I was working really hard on something else on my own one woman show it's just a k a child Yeah Alyssa How many videos do you think you edited this year She was like

Oh 30? I don't know You guys don't Like there are so many people Behind Smosh Like sure it's us But like editors Producers

Art Directors Sound Scott Hey man That's sound Scott Just take everybody

Just take a breather Brennan Like camera of people, everybody. And then there's Shane and me. And then I'm here. And we're here. Guys. We're just so grateful for you all and the holidays remind me how grateful I am for my job and the people around me. And that's really what Christmas is all about.

Yeah, absolutely. I think we really helped a lot of people today. I hope so. I hope Anthony's house doesn't catch on fire. Well, I'll be there and I'll put my whole body all over it. Right, right. Okay, good. Also, Solvang should pay us. Solvang really should pay. us for what we've done today. And I've never even been. I know. And I've been once. And it was for an hour and it was awesome. We literally are the worst people to be advertising it. Yeah. Yeah, I drove past there once. It looks pretty cool. Um, thank you all for watching. We hope, uh, we hope

you don't have too many problems this holiday season. And if you do, it's okay. Just get spooky with it. Just get, yeah, just get spooky with it. Yeah. Summon ghosts. Um, well, all right. Okay. Well, we'll see you later. And happy holidays. Happy holidays. Bye.