Smosh Mouth - #145 - The Perfect Episode w/ Miles Bonsignore

Episode Date: May 25, 2026

We got the perfect person for this perfect episode with perfect conversationsPODCAST:https://bit.ly/SmoshMouthSpotifyhttps://smo.sh/SmoshMouthiHearthttps://bit.ly/SmoshMouthApple0:00 Intro6:31 Miles��� craziest video lore22:28 What’s in his pockets?34:44 School dances and working out47:08 Word of mouthSUBSCRIBE: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshCastWEAR OUR JOKES: https://smosh.com WHO YOU HEARShayne Topp // https://www.instagram.com/shaynetopp/Amanda Lehan-Canto // https://www.instagram.com/filmingamanda/Miles Bonsignore // https://www.instagram.com/milesbon/WHO YOU DON’T HEAR (usually)Director: Selina GarciaEditor: Alyssa LovetteProducer: Amanda Lehan-Canto, Shayne Topp, Selina GarciaProduction Designer: Cassie VanceArt Director: Adrian Sheen, Erin Kuschner, Josie BellerbyAssistant Art Director: Courtney ChapmanProp Master: Abigail Schmidt, Emilie Anderson, Bridgette BaronStage Manager: Alex AguilarArt Coordinator: Alex MolloWardrobe Supervisor: Julia RosnerProp Fabricator: Tayler NicholsonKey Costumer: Jacqui CullerSet Dresser: Carly HoughArt PA: Lunora ReyesDirector of Audio: Scott NeffAudio Mixer: Jose PerezAudio Utility: Lila RowelDirector of Photography: James Hull, Brennan IketaniVideographer: Eric Wann, James HullCamera Operator: Matthew FaulknerPodcasts Producer: Selina GarciaAssistant Director: Jonathan HyonExecutive Vice President of Production: Amanda BarnesDirector of Production: Alexcina FigueroaProduction Manager: Jonathan Hyon, Tyler M. KennedyProduction Coordinator: Oliver Wehlander, Zianne HooverProduction Assistant: Caroline Smith, Michael GomezDirector of Post Production: Luke BakerDIT/Lead AE: Matt DuranDIT/AE: Beni KimuenePost Production Coordinator: Ariana MartinezDirector of IT: Tim BakerIT & Equipment Coordinator: Lopati Ho CheeSound Editor: Gareth HirdDirector of Design: Ness CardanoSenior Motion & Branding Designer: Christie HauckSenior Graphic Designer: Jay TaylorGraphic Designer: Monica RavitchDirector of Channel Operations: Lizzy JonesChannel Operations Manager: Audrey CarganillaChannel Operations Coordinator: Sabrina LiebermanDirector of Social Media: Erica NoboaSocial Media Associate Producer: Peter DitzlerSocial Media Manager: Kim WilbornSocial Media Coordinator: Margaux BernalesSocial Editor: Vida RobbinsMerchandising Manager: Mallory MyersBrand Partnership Manager: Chloe MaysBrand Partnerships Coordinating Producer: Liz KummerOperations Manager: Marshall A. PeaseOperations Coordinator: Sara FaltersackFinancial Operations Specialist: Natalie LewisTalent Coordinator: Danielle MosesPeople & Culture Manager: Katie FinkPeople & Culture Coordinator: Hannah MerrittCEO: Alessandra CataneseExecutive Producers: Anthony Padilla, Ian HecoxCCO: Cory MidgardenEVP of Programming & Development: Kiana ParkerProducer, Special Projects: Rachel CollisExecutive Coordinator: Katelyn HempsteadOTHER SMOSHES:Smosh: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshSmosh Pit: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshPitSmosh Games: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshGamesSmosh Alike: https://bit.ly/SubToSmoshAlikeFOLLOW US:TikTok: https://smo.sh/TikTokInstagram: https://instagram.com/smoshFacebook: https://facebook.com/smosh

Hi, welcome to Smoshmouth. I'm Shane. And I'm Amanda, and we have one of my favorite guests ever. It's Miles Bon Senor. Hi, guys. One of your friends that you don't know how to say is... Yeah, wow. I don't know how to say anyone's name. No, that's a thing.

I don't even know really how to say it. Okay, what is it? Bonseigneur. Well, okay. Bon seigneur. It would be like that if you're going to put it full sauce. Yeah, full sauce. Full sauce. Red sauce.

Full red sauce. Okay. Or it's Bonseigneur. Bon seigneur. Your is more of the chicken parmesan version. Exactly correct. The Olive Garden version. The chicken cutlet, Rochester, New York style.

You guys know Miles? Shane and I were on his podcast, and then I was recently on it. Perfect Person. One of my favorite podcasts ever. What you do with a soundboard is absolutely genius. So we decided to have our own soundboard. Oh, p, brip-p-p-p-p-row. Oh, so it's Selena.

It's back there. Oh, so it's Selena. Oh, it's Selena. And so that's the... So I've been hitting this one for a second. Wow. Oh, nice. Whoa, that's a dump fart.

Bruh. Okay. That's just a... Hold on. Earlier today, when we were... Before we were coming to do this episode, you were saying to the entire crew, you were like, guys, we got a soundboard for this episode.

And I was like... Meanwhile, you knew it was you. Yeah. Okay. That's good. Uh-oh. And by the way... What other thing about that is you had to look at the monitor and then see which one I was doing.

He was actually touching Bra. It was a big delay. A soundboard with a huge delay is fucking funny. It was like checking your notes. Brow. Which one are you pointing to? Sorry, his fingers are so monstrous. We're so sorry about that.

Big, meaty fingers. Okay. Whoa, that fart was wet. I love this soundboard. I am actually laughing at the idea of a soundboard. board that has a randomized delay. So you press it and you're like it's anywhere from one second to 30 minutes.

Yeah, anytime. And so then you continue the podcast and randomly in the video just like, you're like, oh shit, I forgot I pressed that forever ago. So many wet farts, you guys. Come on, let's get a clean one. Okay, that was pretty good. Let's get a clean one. Let's just all go around and do a wet fart.

I would kill for a really good fart machine. Have you ever seen the guy on TikTok who walks around like Central Park? Yes. Yes. Yes. Farts. The huge tall guy and he lifts his whole leg up.

He'll like do a whole jump. Unbelievable. But he has some wet ones. He's always real farts though? I don't know what, no, he has hands in his pocket. It's totally big.

But he goes way too hard. Sometimes there's a group of girls and they're having a day out. I know. They've ruined their fucking day. And he ruins their day. Yeah, that's pretty brutal. It's crazy.

You guys ever use fart spray in the grocery store? What? No, but I, we, I was not in, I was not in this video, but around like six years ago, they did a game's video. where they got the fart spray. And Courtney was telling me, she's like,

that was the worst smell I've ever smelled my life. She's like, that was the worst shit ever. So I've heard it's awful. I was a little boy in the grocery aisle, in sort of the frozen aisle, and I just got a fart spray from some pranks. How did you get that? I don't know.

See, it feels like it should be a controlled... A guy in a trench coat somewhere was like, hey, you want some fart spray? Yeah, come on. Yeah, it was his own farts. No, but it was literally... I've contained this. I found a way to bottle my farts.

But I was in the Frozen Island Just remember like spraying it And then running away and like peeking around the corner And an old woman was just like Oh And she died She was she just died I saw a video of a guy

You know those You know those big inflatable like dinosaur costumes You can wear Yes Or that they've got the internal fan going I've watched a video where someone walks up to a guy And he does the first spray And you see the guy like

Dancing in the T-Rex costume And you see him just go like Oh Oh I've seen a montage of those They're incredible A montage. People in inflatable suits getting fart spray sprayed in.

They're trying to get out of the suit. They're trying to get out of the thing. It's so good. It must be horrible. Yeah. Does it not? Because farts smell bad, but they're not like life ending. But this fart spray must be so bad.

It's pretty concentrated. Oh, God. This feels like like those jackass times when they put like a freaking porter potty and they spun him all around. It's just. It's a why did he say yes to that? Well, he made a lot. of money. Yeah, yeah. Would you ever do like

a prank show like that? Where I get pranked? Yeah. For how much money? I say, by the way, I was about to react and be like, no, I would never do that. But for Try Guys, I was like in my underwear in the Cheesecake Factory with body paint clothes on. Oh, Jesus. Oh, my God. Why? Yeah, because they told me to. Oh, yeah. Miles is Tri-Gy guys as well.

But I was like, but I, yeah, it was just they were like, well, we didn't think any other cast members was going to do it. Like, do you want to do it? I was like, yeah. What does that say about you? Miles. That I'm brave, actually. And I've been Bravery is a choice that everyone should be involved with. Really good. Nice.

We were in our, and then we, like, went, and then the problem was after we sat when I stood up, like my sweat line had wiped away a layer of the clothing. And so then the security guard did tell us to live. And the security was like, now you're naked. Yeah. Oh, he knew that it was body paint. That's right.

And I went home. Wait, body paint? It was body paint. Everything? Everything except for my underwear. Not my penis. You let me have penises out on that? No, I genuinely thought he painted.

You think I mean, your tie's a little long. Casually saying that I like am a... They painted a blue sky and it's just like a bird, but it's your penis. So here's how I became a felon. Yeah. I try committing crimes. Exposed myself at the Cheesecake Factory. Kind of crazy, but what else is on the docket for today?

We try to get on every list we can. I thought you committed that hard. Oh, my piece. I don't think that they could paint that away. Yeah. I'm not asking them to paint it away. I would be part of the landscape. Like PETA from Hunger Games.

Oh my God. Pita, what a perfect painter. Exactly. Pita, your penis is out. It's bark. It's actually bark. That's the under unrated version. Seeing penis penis.

You would. No, it's bark. It's bark. It's bark. I'm not here right now. When I saw that movie in theaters, I did laugh. out loud at that part. To be clear, I laughed out loud. Sorry, I

want to ask, what is the most insane thing you have done in a YouTube video? Oh, God. Oh, my God. Because that makes me think about that. Most of them are from the Target Series Candid competition, where we basically pit brands against each other, but that's not even what the real videos are.

To be short, we were nude in a cheese candy, that's one. I had to dress up in goth makeup and push around a fake baby stroller that had Zach in a baby's bonnet inside of it. How big was this stroller?

It was a covert stroller that they built to hide Zach inside of. And basically the premise was I have to feed him like Olive Garden in a thing so they didn't know that he was eating the food. None of them made me. Why were you goth? That's a good question.

And that's a question that I don't have the answer to. Oh my God. Yeah, we did that. The try guys. That's incredible. Just me as goth as part of the brand. at this point. That's crazy. You guys did a lot of public

stuff. That show was a lot of public stuff. That was also like I had to break up with Zach in goth makeup and we did best restaurant to break up in. I'm in goth makeup and then Zach is supposed to be like my lover. This is a separate occasion where you're in goth makeup? Yes. What is actually occurring?

I like like Zach and Keith and they're like okay so maybe you're in maybe you're in like goth makeup. No literally. This is all because the premise was like I had to have a GoPro choker on. They were like okay so I was shooting all the videos at one point at try guys right

and for those who don't know that hey comment but the idea was how do we get a GoPro on a Miles we need to get a GoPro on because we're covertly filming in these places where we're like you know doing various shenanigans so the idea was what if I have a a GoPro necklace or choker

so then we're like well if it's big and bulky on Miles's neck then we could stud the collar, but if he's wearing a studded collar, it's not going to blend in unless he's goth. So then... I get it now. Now I'm totally gossed. You actually don't notice that I'm wearing a weird necklace because I'm gawk. Whoa. So that was a good

camera angle? Perfect. Okay. Flawless camera. Definitely see my chin. And then so when we were filming, I'd walk around and be like that goth. That goth has extremely good posture. Yeah. Too good. Oh my God. What's the craziest thing that you've ever done?

for a YouTube video. So something that was pretty crazy on Mythical Kitchen forever ago Josh made me eat an entire tarantula it was dead

but it was a full tarantula and he and I both had to pop an entire one in our mouths that was nuts I didn't know what we were doing

when I did the video and that happened and that was crazy however though I think back on like Smosh and like we were doing some

weird shit in those early years like 2015 2016 because that's back in the era where we would do stuff in public. And at one point, they dressed me up fully as Nicholas Cage. Like, prosthetic makeup where, like, I had a fake hairline, like, all this shit. And they had me run around Comic-Con and just, like, interview people. And everybody hated me.

Nobody wanted to talk to me. Also, Nick Cage, I don't see that, you know? Yeah, well, I got into character. Do you have a Cache face? Which Nick Cage? I don't know. It wasn't as much of a Caged face as, like, I haven't worked on the impression, like, fucking...

Yeah, okay. Just show it to us. But it would just back back. Okay, so we're here. It's pretty good. Yeah, and I would get into it and I would just run around. Selena.

Oh, wow. Thanks. You know what you can sound but you have to go. And excuse me? Selena. Oh, Selena. All right.

That's a really good Nick Cage. Thank you. That was awesome. I did a lot. Stuff like that. I really hated going out in public and messing with people. And we didn't do it a lot.

I was going to say that. But I hated it. We also had a sketch early on that I pitched where I play a ghost and I basically fully naked and they painted me fully white. What? I was just painted fully white.

Were you in your underwear? I was in underwear and they were just painted fully white. I was actually naked so often in early videos. When I go into Try Guys now, I just know I have to wear good underwear. Yeah. Wow, guys! Because I know that... No, here's the thing. Try Guys, I have not done much

there, but when I go there, I'm like, oh right, this place is crazy. Because we did trial by trolley. And I was like, okay, we're gonna go, let me, let me watch one of these previous episodes. And I'm watching, um, Grant. I'm watching Grant suck on Keith's toes. And I was like, oh my God.

I thought that too. I was like, hey, when we first sat in there, I was like, so, Zach, I'm not sure about Shane and I going to that level of like sucking toes. He's like, oh, no, no, I'm not going to have you going to suck toes. He still put us in some crazy positions. I was like, okay. He was like, oh, look, I'm not going to tell you what happened.

But I'm gonna tell you one of the things. They're like, we're gonna have you guys blind rank your 10 favorite YouTubers. And I was like, I know where this is- And they're all canceled. And it's bad. And it, it's, I was like, you guys are putting us in a very- Ned was on there for sure.

Oh, for sure. He's gotta be. He's got to be. He's one of the best. Yeah, I wish I was shocked. I was shocked. Yeah. Um, but no, I was like, oh right,

you guys are crazy over here. Yeah, yeah. You are. A lot of shenanigans. They put me in a dunk tank for one of the, for the, I want to get a, dunk take. Oh, I know, I've done a dunk take for Smosh. And what is it like? Well, I was terrified

because I felt like the dunk tank was not built for somebody in my size. I was going to say. So I was like, if I do this wrong, my legs are going to snap on the bottom of the tent. Because I'm like falling, but then the water's not that deep. So it's like, I was worried I was going to get caught. Do you have those worries that when you dive, you're going to dive

and like, you know, just hit your head and break it all? Well, I'm not diving in like four foot water. Oh, you don't live life on the edge. Sorry, what are you saying? She's worried I'm going to break my spine As tall people, when you dive, I think about it all the time. Do you dive a lot? Yes.

Any chance I can get. Anybody can take their head. Hot tub, I'm diving. No way. Pool, I'm diving. Whoa. Whistle blown. Bathtub?

Bathtub, you know I'm diving. Bathtub, you know I'm diving. Toilet, I'm diving. Yeah, you gotta dive into the toilet. Yeah. After you're done. Has anyone talked about how big these mugs are? Yeah.

So these are new, and how I like to do it is I like to go like this, grip the whole thing. Whoa. Best part of waking up. It's Fulgers in your... Have you guys seen that one where there's the brother... Cup. So...

What? I learned a bunch of lore about this. We talked about this a few weeks ago. Yeah, really? We were talking about... The Fulgers commercial is so funny. There's a Fulgers commercial from the 90s. Oh, I know.

Actually, it's from like the 2000s. I know it. And it's a brother and sister. And they're weirdly horny for each other. Did you know that on the internet, there is thousands upon thousands of fan-fix? about it. And there are series.

There's an expanded universe. What? And it is crazy. I didn't read them, but I looked at all the tags for it, and I was like, oh my God, they hit every sexual category. They're like, wow, they have them doing everything. What interesting fodder

for a fan. It's so minimal. Imagine being that actor, you'd work one day. One day. You film for like... You filmed for probably three hours. That day. You're just like, all right, yeah, sweet. Like, I'm going to get some residuals from this.

20 years later, you're like, yep, I'm the, I'm part of that duo. I'm the horny brother. That's very famous. Sorry, it's me, horny sister. Hey, I'm horny sister. I'm here for the Folgers. How did that, like, the people at Folgers watched that commercial were like, this is perfect? Because they were super horny, man.

Yeah. I've been saying this for years. Folgers people are horny as hell. It's a horny brand. They are so horny brand. And you're a coffee guy. I'm a coffee guy. guy. You sell coffee. I sell coffee. You sell coffee? Perfect person coffee. Perfect person coffee. It's a little coffee thing. It's these guys that I worked at a coffee shop with in New York. And then they just continued roasting and then they do the fulfillment and stuff for the coffee. How many types of roasts do you have? That's a really good question. We actually have two types of coffees. Let me guess dark and light. Well, no. Darkness and lightness. Darkness and lightness. King and yon. Kingdom. Kingdom. King and yon.

Ying and yon. But no, it's they're two light roast single origin coffees. So you don't really want to dark roast those because if you dark roast them then you're kind of roasting somebody. Yeah, ooh, tingles. Two tingles. Two tingles.

Two tingles. And they do you get tingles. You messed up and I was going to let go. You got that guy from Majorius Mask is there. Okay. Tingle. Guys, Giora masks are eating in this episode. Um. Uh-huh.

Burb, burp, burp. Yeah. That was what I was. Thanks. Thanks. That's fantastic. I fucking love coffee. I fucking love coffee.

Do we sing a single origin? Brew style? What do we? I have my chemex pour over. I have my chemx pour over as well. I've done that for a lot of time. I'm doing that puppy as well. I'm talking about, they're like, oh, not the, not the chemex. You got to do a V60 or whatever. How different are. What? It's a good question. Now, I'm glad you brought me here to discuss this. Yeah, good. XMX is going to be good if you want to brew coffee for two, people. people. Yeah. Yeah. Uh-oh. What if it's just for me, but I drink a lot of coffee?

Then you want to bring one chem X to the party. But I have, sometimes I'll go V-60 in the afternoon. Basically, these are two different conical brew methods. Look at him. And the V-60 is sort of a vase-type shit. Wow. And a, you know. The way you said Vaz.

Yeah, wow. How would you say? It's hot. Vase? Yeah. Vase? Ooh. By the way, nothing makes my bones shiver.

Like, someone's saying vase. Woof. vase. Hey, can you get the vase? Yeah. That's bummer. Isn't that the rock? Isn't that the fa sound from the rock? I thought it was, is the, fa. I thought it was, is it not like,

might be the rock. I didn't know. That killed me. What do you think the rock has for coffee in the morning? Oh, he just takes a fucking bullet. He puts coffee in a gun, and he just goes, puts a gun in his mouth, and blows the coffee into his face. I should point out at this stage, for those listening and watching,

that it is 5 p.m. We have been filming videos all day. We had a 7.30 a.m. call time today. We've been going all day, so we are a little loose. Okay, so you have a chemics and a V-60. Right? Is that the name? That's your two brew methods.

Well, yeah. Now, I'm also cooking up, I mean, I kind of rock with it. I have an espresso machine, but, whoa. It is sort of a chore to use. Yeah. And so you kind of got to warm it up, and you got to get in there and get your hands dirty. It's one shot.

And it's just one shot. So usually I'll do that for a special occasion if I have to set like people over or something. Oh, cute. I'll bust that puppy up. Cool. That's really cute. That's badass. Oh, it doesn't live on the counter.

Do you ever use a mocha pot? You know what? Mocha pots are cool and I don't use them, but I want one. Do you have one? I do have a tiny little one. I never use it. I, because the way to that. people have told me like, here's how you should use a mocha pot.

It's actually kind of like complicated. Yeah. So a mocha pot, it's those little like, they look like a little tea kettle, and you put them on the stove. They're always stainless steel. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you fill the bottom with water. Yep, yep, yep. And then you have a little thing.

And then isn't it kind of, like, Turkish coffee vibes? It's an upside-down espresso machine, but instead of using a boiler, it uses the power of steam. Yeah. I am turned on. You know what I'm going to go? I am turned on. off. Read that slowly. So picture this. Okay, Amanda.

Picture boiling water and it goes bloop. And then it goes through the coffee and then it poops out espresso. So the ick has hit the landing. Whoa. Whoa. You got to keep doing them. You got to keep doing them, you got to keep doing them, Slina.

Bro. Bro. Bro. I'll see, I really would love to. Hang on, guys. Can you hand... And while you're doing it? Whoa, there's a lot of crazy stuff back here. Selena. Oh, fart nose.

Fart nose. Fart nose. But yeah, anyway, a mocha bot is cool. You're never using yours? I don't use my mocha bot. I don't have a... I love your podcast. I only have espresso when I go to a coffee shop.

Do you want to hit one? Okay, fine. Do you want to hit this? Hey, dude. You want to hit this? Yo, dude. Bro. You want to hit this?

Bruh. Brow. That would just say. Fart nosay. Fart nose. Whoa. What the? Fart nose.

He's got a fart nose. Can you rearrange them? Hold on. Hold on, Slina. Brough, brough, brough, bra, bra. She hated that she decided to do this. Are you looking for the eye?

I can't believe. Hey, give it back. Okay. We're going to put the eye on it so it's not fart nose because we don't want that. It's got to be art. Yeah, fart nose.

Yeah. Fortness. Okay, so a mocha pop, pretty cool. Pretty cool. What happens if I do this? Uh-oh. Let me see. Art noise.

Ha, ha, ha. Oh, it's a French man laughing. That's actually deeply offensive. Yeah. Ha, ha. That's so fucked up. Oh, my God. Okay, coffee.

You're really into coffee. Also, you were just on Will You Be Mine? Yeah. Oh, yeah. on the fully improvised dating show on the main channel of Smosh. And it was such an honor and privilege to do it with you. It was so fun. We were drivers in a reality dating show.

And it was very unplanned. But Miles and I, we found love as drivers. I was a honey wagon driver where I suck out poop from border potty's. And honestly, that job is incredible. I'm dead serious. More notoriously, you just had really good. greasy hair. I had, hey, it was leaving conditioner,

tucked, unwashed. So I put that wig on and I went, wow, this wig is amazing. But what does this look like? And I put my ears back and they naturally did this. And I was like, there she is. There she is. You found her in the ears. I found her in the ears. Because she's so earnest that her little ears are

a course like this. Yeah. She's hearing everything. They're tilted forward so you can hear better. And you... Yeah, I played junior officer Damien Bradley, Susanna. driving an armored car from one bank to another on Long Island. Yeah, my favorite line of that whole thing is we went, Mom, come home.

That was so fun, by the way. I could have done that forever. You did it. It was such a joy. Me too. It was so fun. If you haven't seen Will you be mine, you need to watch it. Yeah, peep it out.

Everyone is so funny. And by the way, hey, plug for Smosh membership. I did so I could see the outticks. Oh, yeah. He got Smosh membership. We didn't give it to him so he could see the outtakes. bought a Smosh membership. I did, man.

He asked us and we said, no. No, absolutely not. Absolutely not. Because I was like, we had so much fun and I was like, I want to watch the times when, like, chance falls and we all cannot keep it together. Like, that was so funny. What were the outtakes like? Because I have not seen this. They're unbelievable.

It's great. It's like chance falling and it's fucking everybody. I remember breaking so much. Yeah. It was a joy. Sam on set was like, okay, I love all the breaking, but like, we're actually not getting the take at all. Must move on. You gotta move on, please.

Oh, my God. Anyways, you're incredible. I feel like I'm burning calories. Yeah. During recording this. By the way, do you want to see what's in my pocket? Oh, right. We were talking beforehand of what's in your pocket.

Wait, can we guess what's in your pocket? You're gonna be disappointed. Now, I just want to preface. You're gonna be disappointed. But I do have a bunch of stuff in my pocket. You have a bunch of, can you name how many items you have in your pocket? Let me think you're. It's crazy that you have so many items in your pocket.

Well, that's actually not that many. I only have four. Oh, God. You have four. Do you have any interesting things in your pocket? I don't think I have, I have my phone, but then I have one thing that I carry on me at all times. In fact, a gun. It's his father's stopwatch.

A gun. I have a gun. A gun. And my father's stopwatch. Stopwatch. And it stopped when he died in the war. Yeah. 16 a.m.

That's beautiful. Wow, early. No, I can tell you honestly, you don't have to guess. I carry aquifer in, this is not a brand deal, by the way. I, for years now, have carried aquifer in all of my left pocket of every pair of pants, because I always want to have it on me. He wants to be lubed up. My lips can get chapped.

You keep that shit on you. And so I keep that shit on me. Do you put it anywhere else? What I honestly try to do... Why are you nodding? Like his penis. Like my dry penis. Dude.

Yeah. Sleena, hit us with a, bro. Hit us with a fair horn. We get we get fucking copyrighted by the circus. You cannot make that sound actually. Sorry.

It's with a fair horn. What is the fucking circus name? Sixth, Barnum and Bailey's. Yeah, dude, greatest show. Bigots are like, ah, we've got you. Please. Twirling their, okay, but

so I keep aquifer in my front left pocket in every single pair of pants. Just really. Well, it's just kind of what happens is I keep buying it because I'm like, oh, I can't find it. And I buy more and I put in my front left pocket. And then eventually I'm like, oh, I just realized I have one in all of my pairs of pants. They're just already there. So my pants are all folded.

And then I pull them out and I'm like, there's already some chapstick in my pocket. Is it a tube or is it a tub? A tub would be crazy. No, it's a... A tub would be psychotic. Like a mini tub. No, I have like this one. Oh, yeah.

Oh, so it's a nice tube. There's some that are like a chapstick of aquifer. And some of them have SPF on them. Whoa, in case you're on the slopes? In case you're skiing it out, dude. Yeah, because the sun doesn't work unless it's cold. That's right. Yeah.

It bounces off the sun. Yeah. So that's my pockets. Now, uh, Miles, you've got four things in your pockets. Now, I'm going to say phone and wallet. Yeah, okay. That's correct.

I'm going to say some type of kids toy. No, that'd be cool, though. That would be cool. Okay. A pen. Well, okay. Keys. Actually, you know what?

I do have five things. Okay, you have five. Nicotine. Yeah. Whoa. No, I wish. I wish I was that cool. I wish I could, by the way,

Cole Spouse it on this show. Yep out of SIG. That would be sick. That would be cool. A tiny notebook. No, that is fun, though. Ooh, that's a good one. Okay, I guess I'm going to get it.

Are you guys notebooking in a regular notebook? Not, not... Wait, first of all, what's happening in your hand? Second of all, what do you mean? Journaling? Yeah, like, do you, do you? write on paper. Yes, every single morning. I try to write on paper. I'm not regular about it, but I... You're doing your morning pages?

Yes. Kind of, they're like a short version of morning. I can, I don't have time to do three. No. I have one kid, you have two. Like, what are we doing here? I do like this much. Yeah. And it's talking about my nightmares. You wait. So it's like a dream journal. It's like a dream journal. And then I'm also... Nightmare. I hope to date. Nightmare log. Nightmare, nightmare, nightmare. Nightmare. The witch number two visited me again last. We eventually look at it and it's just, oh!

It's a flip page of a drawing of a witch, like, walking towards me. It's just some scary-ish haunted shit. Do you have nightmares every night? Not every night, but a lot of nights. Most nights? You have some terrifying dreams. Oh, my God. I'm lucky that I just don't really dream.

I do. I was telling Shane that I had one where my sister was possessed, but she wasn't my sister. She was my sister, but she was Megan Foxx. She looked very hot. And she was down in the basement, and she was possessed. Oh, Megan Fox in my basement, be like? Oh. Sleena hit us with a bruh.

Brough. Brough. I'm on our noise. Brough for Megan Fox in the basement. Megan Fox in my basement, am I right? Sleena's like, I'm in hell. Anyways. Okay.

All right. So you have two other things in your pocket. Not nicotine and not a mini no. No. Is it like a little tiny, like just like figurine? Like a figure, like a little tiny collector. Of the man you want to be. Oh, that would be nice.

It's like a D&D of me and a suit. Yeah. No, it's not. Okay. This Army knife. No, that would be cool. Okay. Should I have brought a knife to this?

Yeah, I mean, hey. I do have a leatherman. Not here, though. Cool. Cool. Jesus, guys. Please don't talk about it because it's not here. I have a reaction.

I don't think I fully know what that is. Oh, you know, it's a tool. Oh, is. Is this the tool? Is it what Brennelly Mulligan pulled out when he was on your show? Yes, I remember that. And then Leatherman saw that clip and sent me another one. Because they were like, hey, man, we saw you have a Leatherman.

You want another Leatherman? And I was like, sure. Yo, we saw you have our Leatherman. We're going to hunt you for sports. Yeah, yeah. So the hunt is on. Talk about us on one. Don't ever mention us.

Ever. That would be such a funny response from a brand. Get a DM. If Aquafor commented underneath this video, be like, don't ever. Get those out of your pants. Take us off your mouth and keep us out of your mouth. Okay. An extra sock.

What? For what, Shane? You run one, rub one out? No. If you rub a, God, where am I going to put it? Where am I going to rub one out? People are going to think we're high. What?

Art noise. God. Thanks, Selena. Selena. Thanks, Selena. Yeah, please change it. How is this episode Cuckier than our ants episode?

You did an episode about ants? We did an episode where we played our ants for 80 minutes. Miles, you would actually love it. Oh, I started to this came out, but I was more excited for you guys in antennas dressed as ants. Oh, that's the next one. That's actually really fun.

It's a great episode. We're just talking shit about the hive. The hive? Yeah. Oh, man. And the journey. Life back on the farm. The journey, it took to be here.

The ant farm is not doing well. What's in your pants? Wait, first of all, let's do it. Damn, I don't have my sock. I can't do this. You can't do boar? You can't do boar? I was hoping for something like, sweet.

That's a boar being murdered. Yeah. Or running really fast. You guys ever seen a bore in the wild? Actually, yes. Really? I grew up in Arizona. We saw how, there was a havelina in our day.

The fuck. We're just like, whoa, there's a havelina running over there. Was it like, don't go near that thing? Oh, yeah. That was running away. It was scared. But it's like, you do not fuck with those. Yeah, you don't fuck with boars.

Wild boars will kill you. Yes, of course they will. Yeah, they'll fuck you up. Yeah, you're Massachusetts wild boars. Yeah, it's crazy. We have solely wild boars in Massachusetts. Really? No.

I don't think so. No, not at all. You know what we have is mountain lions. Really? Oh, yeah, that's scary. They're all over the years. I'll never forget when a mountain lion was like very close in like the suburbs and there was a helicopter around my hometown. I'm realizing this story, who cares about it?

They were hunting it with a helicopter? I saw a mountain lion. Get that mountain lion. Get that thing. We're going to be able to see it from the sky. Terrible. By that, by that hiding mountain lion. I was just like, I'm wicked tired.

Yeah. I'm a mountain lion. What? I saw a mountain lion in air. in Arizona right behind my house. Mine line? Yeah, I was walking my dogs and I look out and I just see one sitting down in the middle of the open just staring

at me and luck in my dogs didn't even see it. And I was like, I'm gonna turn back now. That's crazy. I went back home. It was huge. That's fucked up. It was terrifying. Did you have aquifor in your pocket then? No. You could have sprayed in his eye. I wasn't, I wasn't. You could have fixed everything. Yeah, I could have thrown it at it.

You know what I learned recently? And look, if someone listening, if this is wrong, I'm sorry. but I learned that there was an American cheetah until around like 15,000 years ago so fucking long ago okay okay

I am interested not that long ago like there were cheetahs in America until like roughly 10 to 15 thousand years ago and that's why the prong hoard sheep is the second fastest animal in the world oh because they're outrunning chias and they're all over in yeah that's why like they're so fucking fast

they outrun everything in there's no predator that can catch them nowadays, but the reason that they're so fast is because there used to be cheetahs. What happened to the cheetahs? They went extinct? 15,000 years ago? I think it was roughly, like, it was like over 10,000 years ago. But there are cheetahs now.

But not in America. But there was an American cheetah. So right. Where in America would they be? It would have been wherever prong-hored sheep are. So like, honestly, in New Mexico, Colorado, even parts of maybe California, I don't know. Why do you think they went extinct? What's happened? Well, this is what it is. you have one final guess

Oh shit It looked Well I'm gonna pretend I can't see it Is oh air AirPods No This is a huge airpots No

I can't see the shape It's it's it's oh oh is it mints No It holds your baby teeth That looks That looks like Zins These episodes brought to you by Zinn Wait it's a little

Raspberry candy things No that is fun though Is it edible? No. Tiger bomb. No, Tiger bomb. Yeah. Is it like sunscreen? For sore muscles. No. You fool? I'll give you a hint.

He doesn't go on the side. It's something I use on myself. Oh, God. If this is a sock joke, I'm out. It's not. It's not a sock. It's not a sock. Is it for your skin? It's something you use on yourself. Okay, don't review. Oh, it's hair. It's a pompe. That's right. It's pompe. It's old spice paste.

You carry paste with you? No, here's the deal. Okay, I had this in my car, but then I was like, I get in there into the green room, and then I'm like, actually, I'm having a hair moment. I need to put this putty in my hair. We have stuff. I didn't know you guys had stuff. Oh, we got stuff.

I could have told you that, Miles? That's crazy. Oh, we got stuff. You guys have stuff on lock? Yeah. That's crazy. Age? Yeah, that's right.

And it's just an H. It's just an H on board. How could you not understand that we don't have, that we have? I get roasted for my hair constant. You have really good hair. What do you do you hear about? Well, it's not that I get roasted. It's just that it's all over the place.

And I mess with my hair. It's definitely my like nervous. Not nervous thing. I like it. I feel like you have consistently amazing hair. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. I feel like, and it always, you know what it is?

Because I want my hair to look the same shape all the time. My hair does not look the same shape. Oh, see, I feel like when I think of you, I go good hair in the same place. Yeah, I kind of agree. I mean, sometimes you'll be like talking and you'll do this and then it'll stick up, but it doesn't look that bad. Okay. Yeah. Doesn't look like total shape.

Calm me out. This looks kind of shitty. Yeah. I see that. All right. Well, we got it. No, there's four things in your pocket. You have one more.

Take them out. And we didn't get it. I'm in love with this energy. All right, guys, well, we got it. We got it. Guys, comment on below if we got it. No, that needs to be a you. You.

Fap, Fap. He is with Soldier Boy. You. Can I tell you something real quick? So you guys film BitCity And you film or you watch the Soldier Boy dance Yeah We didn't get clearance to like show that

So Emily asked me to recreate them You had to recreate the Soldier Boy songs? Yeah Can you give us a couple bars of that? No, no the dance, the dance Oh I thought you were going to be like Dink, ding, ding, dang, d'i! You!

You! Oh my God That was tearing up the middle school dance Oh, I loved it. Remember Holiday Inn by Chingy? Yeah, that was crazy. That was a crazy moment. I loved that.

I remember at a middle school dance while that song was playing, going outside, and there was a... This girl who was about to slap this boy. Slop? Slop? Oh, my God.

Jesus Christ. She was literally about to slop this boy's not. What? The best part of making up. Rock? Let's see what you're cooking. Okay, go ahead. Why has this turned into long form improv?

I don't know. Okay, so this girl's about to slap this guy. Yeah. I just remember everyone crying on being like, whoa. And she was like, you better apologize. And he was like, I'm not gonna. And then she just fucking slapped him. And everyone was like, and then she walked in, and it was like, at the holiday.

Everyone was like, did she go in and immediately start dancing? Yeah. And he was outside, and I just remember him going, sad, he was upset. And he was like, I love her. Yeah, he was kind of a troubled kid, though. Oh, that adds layers to him. Well, he kind of earned it.

Whatever he did, probably. Do you have good memories from middle school dances? Because I don't. I feel like, no, they were always so much pressure. Oh, they were awful. Oh, my God, like, what if I pop a bee if I'm dancing? Yeah. You know, that was a concern.

It's so funny. I didn't think about that at all. You had a good time at middle school. I had a blast. I was like, in the. middle of the grind line, just living it up. I was like front and back. Full grinding?

Oh, yeah. I would go in the bathroom and wet my hair and slick it back. And I'd come out and I was like, who's up? Who's up? No, truly. People would tap me on the shoulder to go, you want to dance? And I was like, sure, let's bring him to. I would be like the longest grind line in the world.

Oh, my God. And our dances were always like in the dead of winter. So it would be like. So you had to grind to keep war. Yeah, that's right. Survival. And bring him to. Meanwhile, I'm in Arizona.

It's hot as a fuck. Nobody's near each other. And all of our lunch ladies were like running it. We did it at an old veterans club. It was called the Knights of Columbus. Oh my God. And it was like a war vets hangout. And they sold like candy and soda.

And it was all of our lunch ladies. And we were like, yeah. And the lunch ladies are like, get it. They were like, you were good out there, honey. You were looking good out there. And, oh my God, I loved my school dances. I was living it up. That's crazy.

I don't have a single good memory. No, come on, guys. Not like I was saying they were bad. They were just not fun. They were awkward as hell. I was just standing off to the side, just like, okay, what do I? So you have to, like, go out there and... I tried.

I would do that. I remember dancing a little bit, but me and my friends, I remember we were like, obviously into girls, we were like super into it. But we're like I remember we had this thing and okay before you judge it, let me tell you what it is but it was called the three finger rule. Easy. But it was called three fingers

because you hit, you were like instead of like holding her waist when you were dancing. Yeah. You only hold it with three fingers. Why? Like a Martian. Not that commitment. I think it was like so that you're like actually dancing with them but you're actually like a little bit far away from them. So you're not really committing. Yeah, yeah. It was no but it was like it was

peak like I'm afraid of this but I want to do it. Oh, okay, got it. Like, I'm a little bit distant away from them. Three fingers. Starry. I remember being like, yeah, man, three fingers. That's the rule. Oh, God. And if a teacher heard that, they would be mortified. Yeah, I would think I was talking about something else. Yeah. Of course. Yeah. Oh, of course. No. That's wild. I wasn't even thinking that. No, I was never that that close to a girl in middle school. Really? That's so funny. You didn't have like a, you didn't do a slow

dance with a bay? I don't think so. I don't think so. Love that. A bay? A bay. A bay. A bay. Slow dances? Oh, my God. Do you remember when you were like dancing a full-on grind line? Yeah.

You had a different experience than us. Did you hear what I just said? When you're in the middle and the lunch ladies are getting in on it too and everyone's fucking, I'm joining it. I'm joining it. The war vets were there. I can't get enough of it. All the veterans were there. Had some candy.

And then a slow song came on and you were like, I guess I'm going to dance with you. I'm sorry. So you didn't dance with anybody? Let's go back to you. No. No, no, no. Don't worry about my paradise. Don't let it mess up your paradise.

Don't worry about your paradise. Boom, it's getting hot. And it's like you in between sandwiched. In between two grind lines. Okay, so. No, meanwhile, I'm over by the wall just like, I don't, I don't know. Yeah. No, it's okay.

I'm not saying, like, I'm like, oh, I was excluded. Like, a lot of it was self-imposed. I was just too nervous. and too anxious. Like, I just was like, no. And girls did not go up to guys and was like, come here, you're dancing. Like, I'm joking. I was not really doing much. No girl ever talked like came up to. I was friends with

people. Like, it was cool. But nobody came up and was like, I want to dance with you. Like, really? No. I thought, I was very awkward in my body. I mean, I obviously still am, but very much. You are? You are? Nah. I'm serious. Do you think that you come off as awkward in your body?

Yeah, because... Not at all. I've definitely I've had I've had over 20 years to improve from middle school I've had much training since then You've got these like ripped ass muscles man I'm shredded I literally well I hit an age I was like I got a workout or something

Wow how many push Actually this was a question I had Oh yeah this is a good question and I'm really glad we're talking about this And I'm actually really glad Me too yesterday by the way I don't work out like at all And I wish that was more physically fit Yeah your wife told me this So she's talking about it

She's talking to you She's like, God damn Miles, he cannot work. We have a peloton and he has not been able to. I went on it yesterday. Oh, I'll tell her. Sorry. Okay, so you worked out.

But the question was, so I was doing push-ups, right? And I'm like, I can't do any fucking push-ups. I did like, I did 10 push-ups, then I tried to do another set of 10, and I got like 8. So I was doing 18. I was like, actually, I feel good about this. You're doing 18? 18. So my question was, how many push-ups can you do in a row?

I don't know. 600? Oh, my God, probably. I don't know if it, I haven't. done a lot of push-ups lately. Like, that's not the, in my workout routine. I can do a, I could probably, like, I don't know, if I would do a safe estimate of, like, somewhere between 30 and 40, maybe.

But it's tough because when I was, when I was young, when I was, like, 14, 15, when I first started, like, working out, I could do a ton. But I was super light. And what's also probably challenging for you is you're very tall. It's a much longer range of motion. Yeah, you're a heavy set boy, you know. For me, shorter arms, it's not as tough. You're heavy saying, boy, you and your friend.

You and your friend? It's getting hot in here. Get into a push-up contest. Come on, boy, that's some kidding. Let's stack on top of each other and do push-ups. But it's also tough. Like, as I was working out more and you gain muscle weight. Then you can't do as many push-ups because you weigh more and that's more weight.

So it's kind of not always, but I think if you can do like 18 push-ups and rest, That's great. No, totally. And I'm trying to just build on that. But I was like, it would be so cool to be like, yeah, I could do 100 pushups. I bet you actually, if you were like doing push-ups on the regular and pushing yourself to do as much as you can, it wouldn't take you long. A hundred's a crazy amount doing a row.

But you could definitely get up to a big number. I feel like there's a SNL story or something where it was like Alec Baldwin, Aspeed Davidson, what his workout routine was. And it was like 100 push-ups and 100 sit-ups. And that was not true. And Alibald was like, you got it. And then the next time they saw... I thought it said bra.

I let them with her back there. No, she killed that. Squeak! But then he started doing... He was like, yeah, that became his routine. I was like, that's crazy. That's hilarious. That's the one punch man routine.

100 pushers, 100 sit-ups, what, 10-kilometer run or something? That's how he got to be one-punch. And then he became one-pun. Like, they truly, they're like, wait, that's all you're doing? Like, anyways. you should watch

you should watch One Punch Man I don't even heard of it It's hilarious You haven't heard of it You actually You should watch just one season The first season of it You would think it's so funny

What is it on? It's on a lot It might be on like Netflix or something Sorry we're gonna segue To me telling you the premise of One Punch Man really quick It's pretty good Because so basically it's this guy

He's a superhero Okay And his name is One Punch Man Because he can beat any foe with one punch man Whoa. And he's this guy who lives in Japan, he's a single dude in probably like his 30s, and he's the most depressed guy on the planet because he's so bored, because all he does is just shows

up and just goes like this, and enemies just get annihilated. He's too powerful. And he's truly just so bored and having an existential crisis because he's just like, yeah, I guess I just like, that's it. And they'll introduce new villains and be like building up like how they're so powerful and then he'll just kill them with one punch. And he's truly like the most jaded like, And he just lives in, like, a tiny studio apartment.

In Japan, he just kind of like, just doing his thing, not really caring about anything because nothing counts. Is this animated? Yeah, it's an anime. I wish it was real. It's really, really funny. Yeah. That's an anime wow. That's the anime wow for our audio listeners.

That's right. Anyways. Wow. But no, yeah, no, middle school was overall bad experience. To surmise, it's good. It's pretty known among our Smosh fandom, but I was genuinely booed out of a dance circle in middle school. And it wasn't, you know, like, horrible.

It's not like, oh, people were talking about it the next day. But in that dance, it sucked. Oh, people were talking about it. No way. No, I was just doing some dances. I don't know. I think I tried to moonwalk or something. I was, like, not doing great.

I'm not going to try to dance genuinely. You know, I got to do like some sort of like, oh, it's a silly dance. Yeah, I remember middle school is just a time for humiliation. Like, I was in a basketball camp, and I, I should. shot the ball into the wrong. I actually did that as well. You own gold yourself? I owned myself.

I owned myself. It was humiliating. Very embarrassing. It's really tough. It was like my camp was playing another camp and then a bleacher full of kids for the other camp laughing. I truly, no, middle school, I was like, I'm in a, after middle school, I was like, I need to move on to something easier. So I got into the entertainment. Yeah.

I skipped high school. I was like, I can't. No, I can't. So moved on to this shit. Wow. And here we are. And what else is in your pants? Because you didn't show us.

Take it out. I'm talking about what's in your pockets. What else is in your pants? Take it out. And Miles, as our guest, you've got to show us what else is in your pants. No, hey, I've got a sock in case I need to crank it or whatever. Whatever Shane said. No.

It said in case you lose one of your socks is what I meant to say. Why? What? In what world are you losing a sock? I don't know. There's my wallet. And I got my phone. and then I have AirPods and that's it.

I said AirPods. Yeah, you know, you did. You made fun of me. No, I said. Wow, he really took that to heart. You made fun of me. You made fun of me, man. I said AirPods and you made fun of me.

And I got my air peas. Hello. That's all. That's it. There was nothing exciting. This is a segment born out of nothing. But you know what I'll say? You know what we've done something with it?

You know what, though? Before we started, we heard that there might be. I was just going to say. Really good segments. Selena, hit us with a really good segments. good segment. Yeah, you said you had conversation starters. She just, she just hits us with bruh.

Bruh. Which one do you want? You want a conversation starter? You want a segment. Oh, let's get a segment. Let's get a segment. Basically, we're testing out segments on you. You're a guinea pig.

I know, that's what I was told. Or guinea boar. Or guinea boar. A squeam! Good. This one's called, it was originally called word of mouth, but... Oh, I pitched this one, right? Yeah, and then, Canada was like, what about tongue-tied?

So vote below. which title you want it better. But what's your favorite word or phrase that you're using or overusing currently? Okay. Word of mouth. What is your... Are we using Word of mouth?

I like Word of mouth. Word of mouth was my pitch. Word of mouth. This is Shane's pitch. What's your favorite word right now that you're using? Or a word that you're using a lot lately or like a word that you love. I was a really inspired...

So... Word of mouth. Amanda really loves this segment. word or mouth. We're going to try it. We're going to see what happened. I'd love you to do a word that you overusing. Okay. You know, yeah. You know, I think I say, what do I say? I probably say like, oh yeah, beautiful. Nice. Not once heard you say that. I just told a lot. I like the idea. The guest says it. You just go, I don't think that's true.

Yeah. We just did. I. Uh-oh. That's actually not true. I feel like, yeah, I go like, oh, yeah, sounds great. Yeah, beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful. But then I got worried that people were thinking that I was calling them beautiful.

And what would be so wrong with that? Well, if it's somebody I don't know that well It's really casually just be like, oh nice, nice, you're really fucking hot. Yeah, yeah, sorry, you're beautiful

actually. It's like, oh, weirdo, like what's your problem? Wait. Guys, here we go. People don't say that enough, man. Here we go.

Guys, people don't say you're beautiful enough. Why is the world afraid to call them to women? No, seriously, I'm dead serious. And I know your wife would agree with me. Amanda turns into a manosphere podcaster.

Come on. You just take it as a compliment, best. Just take it as a compliment. If you're saying you're beautiful, take it. And it's awesome. Every time I'm into cold stone creamy, I go. Creamy? I go, you're beautiful.

Now can I have a cold stone? Now I would like a cold stone creamy. You're beautiful. When was the last time you got it's stone cold? Holy shit. So much dead air. Unbelievable. I'm sorry, I kind of, I kind of blake because I feel like you.

You said stone cold cold. Either someone else asks us this or did you ask someone else this on one of your podcast? Maybe what? It's stone cold cold. No, I know. Why did you say it was stone cold? For fun.

Oh, sorry. We're on a podcast. That's why there's, yeah, we're not going to have fun anymore. That's why there's dead air because I thought you made a mistake. I was right. Why did you ask it in a fun way? Do you have fun? Why did you ask cold stone?

You don't do that here. We don't do that here. We don't have fun here. Are you really asking? I haven't been to a cold stone creamery in forever. I haven't had it in a long time. I haven't had it since before I moved to L.A. Yeah, me neither.

I did. I ordered some pints of ice cream a few weeks ago. What did we talk? I ordered a place called Handles. Yes, handles is so bomb. And I'd never had it before. Spencer talked about it and I was like, I got to try this. And I ordered they had a banana cream pie ice cream.

Notty. and a one called Graham Central Station. What? And it was a gram cracker flavored ice cream with bits of gram cracker in it, or something else. And it was truly insane. So are you more of a cream-bite guy or a station guy? I don't know, man. They were both so good.

Honestly, I wish I could have gotten them as a combo. Crazy combo. You could. I know, but, well, I had two different pints. How long did it take, you? Because, to be honest, a couple weeks ago about this? It takes me a while to. I'm good at stopping myself

You're a one and done Less that I'm like Oh I could take a pint down In one sitting It's more that I'm like I don't want to take the pint down Because I want more for tomorrow So like I'm good at like kind of scooping it

He thinks ahead he's a future man I get like a good four different sittings out of a pint Yeah I'm kind of with you I'm good at it I'm like good at self-restraint for it Just because I'm like I want more tomorrow I don't want to run out of this favor

So I go You know back and forth So you're a psycho I'm a psycho. Well, I just am thinking that I'm a professional ice cream eater. Oh, well, we've had this debate of like desserts and ice cream's number one. I'm a professional creamer. And so

when I go after it, what's the sock for, you know? Yeah, yeah. That's how I keep a sock on me. And do you think he's got a cream? But wait. I have nowhere to go. I can't go anywhere. He's over there talking about he's about the cream pie ice cream.

This is brough. Right, we don't have bra anymore. I know. Yeah, I'll fix it. We ran out of bra. You go to a cold store and they're like, sorry, we're out of bra. We're all out of bra. Okay, so you're a professional creamer, Miles.

I just eat a lot of ice cream and what I've been doing is, like, if I have a pint, that's probably like a two-sitter or maybe a three. Okay. If I restrain of myself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that sitting is, that's going to hurt. I mean, to be honest, I want to see you do two things. Take a whole pint of ice cream to the face and then do a hundred bucks. Oh, without.

throwing up while doing push up make me to grab such a nation banana cream pie handels but I just have a lot of ice cream thoughts

and that's one of them yeah that you got to I mean you just got to enjoy your life you know and I'll say that one of the things I've been doing recently is a

poor man's affigato where you take all affigatoes are so fucking good it's like that's probably like the best ice cream thing to have yeah it's crazy but what I'll do is

you get a little vanilla ice cream. Okay? You got a little vanilla ice cream. Okay. A little bit of, uh-oh, instant coffee. What?

Sprinkle instant coffee. Why is that? Over vanilla ice cream. And then a little bit of sea salt, a little bit of sea salt flakes. And then you've got, basically, you dough and you get a little bit of the crunch of the instant coffee thing,

but then it immediately becomes sweet and creamy by the ice cream, and then it melts into like a poor man's affigado. Because you're adding, you're basically adding instant coffee to the thing. So it does a really good job of making a complex dessert out of something simple. But wait, are you... Whoa! Are you putting hot liquid

into the instant coffee to make... Because an affigado has the full liquid espresso. Correct. That's why it's the poor man's affigado. So it's like, basically, you just do the dust. But then in your mouth, it creates the coffee. Interesting. Because like an affigato melts it, but then it goes away. Yeah. This is like doing...

Kind of the melting. I kind of like it sometimes. It's like a little, like, puffed up part of me. I don't like the melting part of me. It's a funny thing about an a fagado. I didn't know what it was Like I would see it on like Cafe like I'd be like oh an a fagato And I would see like you know

Restretto Afigato Americano whatever So one time I went to a coffee shop It's luckily like 11 am on like a Sunday And I go I'll get an affigato What is? I didn't ask what it was I didn't care

I was like I'll get that Because I'm like oh I'll get a cortado Or I'll get an affigato And they bring me ice cream With espresso And I don't know I'm just I'm justro And Courtney was like, oh my God. And I was like, well, it's what I'm having.

And I truly, we were like walking around. I was like, I got this. This is kind of great. It luckily was the perfect time. I wasn't driving anywhere. We were walking. I was like, this is awesome. Thank God you weren't driving.

Oh, yeah. Driving after an offigado? Oh, fool. I'd have been in prison. Guys, I've taken a dipped cone to go in my car. What? I haven't. And it was a hot summer day.

And boy, oh, boy, is that thing leaking down. I can't remember the last time I ordered a cone somewhere. Can I'm crazy. And I love cones. I just hate inconvenience. And I hate stuff getting on my hands. Me too, but I love a cone. This is the thing about a dip cone is if you get a dip cone in Los Angeles,

you think you're going to be able to eat that thing slow. But you're really, when you get one bite in, the shell, once the shell cracks, it's like falling apart in front of your eyes. And you've got it. And so I remember getting at me like, this is so nice. Dip cone, I went, I was in my car. And I was like, a little bite. And it was like, I have to eat this in the next 30 seconds.

You have needed so fast. Everything has gone. Crush. Horribly wrong. And so I had to. You're doing crowd control. Oh, nasty. I worked on that for probably 10 minutes.

You were really, you really built that. I really built that. There wasn't a lot of letters. A far. That's perfect. I wanted to sound like you were really far away. Is our sound bird working? Soundbird.

To go back, I think the word that I am liking lately. Is that the thing we're doing? I forgot we were in word of mouth. By the way. What? We went down an ice cream hole. So glad we talked about so much good stuff.

What was your word again? It was beautiful, beautiful. Oh my God. Hey, baby. You're beautiful. Yeah, my thing has been walking up to a random woman and going, hey, baby, you're beautiful. Hey, baby, you're beautiful.

Stay wonga. Yeah. Stay wonga. Stay wonga, baby. Why don't you come over here, check out me and my quib. Did you say stay Wonka? Hey, stay Wonka, baby! Hey, stay Wonka, baby.

I think you were saying stay Wonka, like Willie Wonka Wonga. Stay Wonka! Willie or Won'ty? Wonka edition. Jesus, God. Crazy. What's a word? What's a word?

Do you want to go? I could go. Hey, don't point that gun of me. Okay, so my word, it's okay if there's not one. No, they're definitely, you know, a word that I'm loving? I've been loving this for the past few months. Saunders.

I have not heard you say that. Sonder. I don't say it a lot. There's not many opportunities to say Sondra. Yeah, because what does it mean? So Sonder is the kind of understanding that every person you see, every passerby, when you look at a crowd of all these people that every single individual has their own life and own experiences and is going through a whole day just like yours.

I know that sounds like, oh, everyone's like, yeah, that's obvious. But it's the really like contemplating that and understanding that and how, deep and intense that is. Did you break that while he was talking? Amanda is currently breaking her mic. For the first time, you're saying something like kind of heartfelt. I'm like, yeah, you know,

I'm really kind of opening up for the first time in this episode. Yeah, it's really nice. Break it. Yeah, so anyways, that's probably the word that I think about a lot lately. So, this is supposed to be you?

Yeah, that was back when I had a mullet and mustache. I was going to say, bold to have that be the graph. No, that's just Curtis Connor. Look. We just had to put a Curtis on there. Yeah, we just put Curtis Conner on there. That's me. That's you.

Yeah. I like these. Yeah. Curtis Connor and Jenny Nicholson. Let me just put those. Now, that's a podcast how it was. Yeah, honestly. Yeah, yeah, no, no.

But we got us. Amanda. Okay, Sonder. Very nice. I liked that story. Um, mine is so lame. Oh, I really mean it.

That was, yeah, brutal. Back in middle school. Yeah, dang. Stop, I meant it. Yeah, I thought that story was awesome. You, you. You. You in the front

And you behind You're behind Lunch ladies It's sloppy Joe time Lunch ladies And you know what to do Let's get sloppy Lunch ladies

Let's get it I hope you like them sloppy And I made them extra sloppy For you If I might You just need to the lunch ladies With a whole school watching No literally

And they're just like One kid throws up He's like What? I want to Mom pick me up and I'm just like They have an assembly about the next day Grind.

Like I'm sure a lot of you have a lot of questions. So the incident About what was going on? The grind line that should have never happened. I'm sitting there with a principal like Amanda has asked for it. In school suspended. You are suspended.

Somehow a student gets in trouble. We thought the lunch ladies were going to chaperone, but they had every intention to grind. Yeah. They needed help. Holy shit. The grind line needed to be longer than it was. It was too short. Oh, god.

Anyways. What's my word? Yeah, what's your word? Sick. That's sick. Yeah. I've heard you say that a lot. I do say that's sick.

I'm like, sick. Yeah. Dude, sick. Is it facetious or do you actually think stuff is sick? I actually mean that it's sick. Yeah. Yeah. Cool.

Do you sometimes say it fatiously? Patitiously? You know what? I petitiously say sick sometimes. I actually do. I actually do. I'll be like, sick. That's a joke.

But I mean sick usually. Cool. But I don't text it because when I text it, it looks really dumb. Really? That's sick. I text sick. You would? Yeah.

No, you text nice. You go nice. I do nice a lot. Yeah. Nice. And I have to really tell my. stuff that you're saying like nice. Yeah.

Like nice. Yeah. Well, yeah. Sometimes I'm being like, yeah, nice. You look like you've been sobbing. I have. Sick. Yeah, I was thinking about, you know, I said saundered.

I was contemplating the lives of everyone. Yeah. And that's when you, so it's basically like you're a part of a world where there's many different stories. It's just like, oh my God, like to think like, wow, like you drive fast. You just see like a person walking down the street. And you're just like, that person's like going through a whole day and has a whole life and a whole complicated story.

That's beautiful. just really like, it's hard to, it's, we all have empathy, but like, it's hard to actually contemplate that it's like, well, like, eight billion lives are being lived and, I've been having this feeling where, like, so we've been making this

like late night food thing. Yeah. I, so basically I interact with people at a restaurant, like after hours. And it's really open, we interview them like people that are eating late at night. And when I do that, it has opened up my vision of, like, restaurants and also just late night culture to be

like, oh, every single person has something very interesting about them, I just have to ask, kind of? And you're like, you look at a crowd of people and you're like, actually like, I was originally not going to talk to this person, but then I talked to them and they were like, just went through a breakup and they actually have all these hopes and goals and aspirations, and it's been

so rewarding in a sondry. I love that. Exactly. No, your show is fantastic. Oh, thank you. That's very nice. How many diners have you done now? So we've done four, or no, so we've done eight episodes, And then a couple of them are maybe still releasing when this comes out. Diners, I think we've done three diners.

Oh, but it's just 24-7 place. It's 24-7. So we've done a couple donut shops. We did Tommy's Burgers. Nice. We did one in San Francisco. We just went up there and did. It was like this cool restaurant of the Castro.

Are you walking up to these people and being like, hey, can I talk to you for a second? Yeah. So we usually, we'll get, now that we've been doing for a little bit, we like get the restaurant to be on board. because we're usually inside. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The first thing we did, like, a donut shop that was outside, so it was, like, kind of a... It was fine.

But now it's like, we'll get the restaurant to be on board. We'll interview their staff and their owners if those people are interested. And then I go up to the people they're eating, and I usually say, like, hey, has it going? Like, we're shooting a show called graveyard chips. It's about people that are eating out after midnight at 24-hour restaurants. We're interviewing some of the patrons. Like, would you be interested in asking, you know, answering questions? And what time typically are you getting there and, like, how long?

Yeah. We arrive at around 11. We get set up, we meet the staff to make sure they're comfortable. Then we get the intro shot outside and then, or we'll do B-roll first or something. So then we just get it out of the way. Because basically the thing is, how can we sustain the latest thing we shoot? We kind of want to be the food because that's like me alone. And then I want to shoot the interviews around one to two because it's like I want to be the most, you know, awake.

Sorry, phone is blowing up under me. How are you doing that? And then it's, I mean, it's totally brutal. And then I have young kids, so usually I was going to say. Waking up. And my lovely wife is covering for me in the morning the next morning, because I will usually get home at three. And then probably won't go to bed to like 3.30 because I just am wired.

And I'm having caffeine. I've been drinking coffee. I mean, how are you going to bed at 3.30? I would think like four or five. Yeah. Sometimes it's four. I mean, it's like, it depends on how long it takes me to get sleep. Sometimes I'm too wired and I can't get down until four.

Yeah. But it's such a, it's a show that I was talking to a friend of mine. And he was like, I really like it, but I think that you're immediately going to start being like, why the fuck that I choose to do a show at midnight? Yeah. But it's such a great premise. Yeah, that's the problem. It's so fun.

Do you have a, okay, so out of all those, is there one that you like, the food was your favorite? Oh, God. I mean, so much good food. We did, I love Astro Diner. It's one of my favorite. Oh, yes. I love Astro. In Echo.

Oh, no, it's Silver Lake. In Silver Lake. and it's just this really iconic like kind of dreamy looking diner It's one of those things like living in L.A and I mean it's the case for a lot of states But like being like man I want to go to more diners Astro is only

Sometimes you go to diners and you're like This fucking sucks I know and they're really hit or miss The thing about the 24 hour ones is that Usually they got it pretty dialed because they can afford To keep staff through the night That's what I was thinking So like often the food is better there

Because they're like this is down to a hard science We know you know how to make this We know how to like, all the systems are kind of engineered really perfectly. We also did Sun Nong Don in Korea Town, which is like soup and beef and stuff. There's one dish they set fire to. Wait, I think I've been there. Whoa. Great.

Yeah, I've been there. And then our finale, I mean, spoiler, but is at orphan andes in San Francisco. We went up and it was like this like really cool diner where, not even diner, just cool restaurant where there's like Christmas lights all everywhere. And it's because the two owners are this couple. and they were like, yeah, we put Christmas lights up for Christmas, and we'd take them down, and then we just decided to stop taking them down. So it's, like, really vibey and, like, colorful.

And it's, yeah, open-a-old. What's the type of food that you're eating there? It's like Americana at that place like that, like, you know, great wings, great, like burgers, great fries. Are you ever doing, like, sweets, like pancakes? Oh, yeah, we do. I usually do, like, breakfast, lunch, dessert as well. Are you sitting with them?

Man, you got to feel pretty fucked up. I mean, that one, yeah, we were also, like, we flew up for the day, and then we shot it. I stayed in a hotel and then flew the next morning. Miles! It was like a brutal. It's kind of epic. It's kind of romantic. It's become so addictive too because like it's so fun.

And then I get to eat all this delicious food. Oh, of course. Like the question mark of who will we happen upon is always so great. Like we'll meet people that are just totally interesting and that will become a part of the fabric of that episode. Yeah. And we can repeat it as many times as we can go to new 24-hour restaurants. What's the most fascinating thing like or something?

story that someone has told you in a nutshell. Like in all of these episodes. We just did one that comes out, probably by the time this is out, it'll be out, at Norm's restaurant. And there were two servers who had been off shift from another restaurant, and they came there because they didn't want to go to sleep yet. Yeah, of course. And we were talking to them, and one of them was just like, yeah, I just like went through

a big breakup. And she was just being really vulnerable. She's like, I moved here to be an actor. And like, I don't know how I'm going to make it work. and like I just feel like love is so hard and it was like it's not the most interesting but no but it's like it's so real people are really open

at that hour like I think it's partially like the fun of the show is that that late at night it kind of feels magical yeah because everyone's asleep and it's kind of like these are secrets I was gonna say also there's something I know it's such sad like that's such rough

but there is a I don't know how people are going to take this but like there is a beauty to heartbreak Especially at a diner at 2 a.m. It's just like, oh, there's something like poetic and... It's so lovely. Yeah, I don't know. And also I think it's necessary.

I think it's important to experience heartbreak. You kind of have to go through it. And I think what's so cool about a late night thing is that it almost feels like there, no one knows about it. Like everyone's asleep, no one's around. So it's kind of like a little moment in time that is so, like, sweet and pressure.

and nobody knows what's happening. Okay, okay. It's so sweet and precious. It's so sweet and precious. Anyways, our serious podcast quota, we've hit it. So anyways, back to the fucking grind. Wait, so what is this show called again? Graveyard shift.

Graveyard shift. Yeah, there should be somewhere between four and eight episodes out. And is it on your, yeah, is it on your YouTube? Yeah, it's on my YouTube channel. Okay, cool. You have perfect person, then you have your YouTube channel. Yeah, there's two, yeah, perfect person is the podcast, and then my YouTube channel, we do, like, different...

Right now this year, we've tried to do, like, what are different shows we can do, and do, like, episodes that... You did Justice Miles. We did do it. Oh, that was so good. It was a treasure. Oh, dude, you put Damien... You also had your wife.

And my lovely wife. Yes, absolutely. Her lovely wife killed it. You had Damien. And then you had Anna? Yeah, Anna was in that. Yeah, Anna was in that. And yeah, but we, it was, we pit real people.

We cast real people with disagreements. with each other, and then we give them comedian lawyers to represent their cases in a courtroom, and then I am the judge. So it was like, you know... You put Damien in the perfect position for him to shine, man. He is... Dude, he just can be on fire in a situation. He was

incredible. I mean... Yeah. And he just put on his... He had like... He looked like the devil in a, like... Oh, yeah. He had like a red shirt and the tie. It was perfect. So good. Yeah, well, hopefully we'll make more of those before the end of the year, too. Because that was also, like, that did super well, and I was like, oh, wow, like, this is also a really repeatable format. Yeah.

Yeah. To get real people in there. I think also in the next season, I want to have a jury of real people. Because I was like, what people were missing, they were like, we want an audience to this chaos.

Oh, yeah. So having like six real people, like a really old woman and like a Gen Z teen and they get to decide who if the case. Old woman's just like this the whole time? Yeah, she's just asleep. And we have the jury deliberate and, you know.

I love it. That's too good. Just having fun over there, man. Yeah. Trying to have fun. Man. I wish we were having fun. We really are having a bad time.

No, we really are. We're doing a horrible time. You got a two can right here. There was one over here, but I think you knocked it on its ass. Oh, and then there's one up over there. And is the two can, is that what's thematically? So it started, it was Spencer, who actually came up with this. Amanda was wearing a sweater that had two two cans on it.

And then Spencer said, get your two cans out. And I did. And we cut all of them. No way. Release the toucan cut. I released them and boy did it feel good. What a weight off my back.

You know what I'm saying? And we just cut to commercial. And so the fans have just latched on to that. Yeah, they love it. So now we have a lot of cute little toucans. You never know what the fans are going to like. That's the new phrase.

You never know. The latch in there. Oh, yeah. They really take it on. It's pretty sick. I mean, we've got harambe. Oh, yeah. Always.

looking at me. He's always. He knows I would fight for him. Yeah. Oh, God. Anyways. Well. Ooh, nasty. What a good episode. I really love. This has been fully a fever drink. And you're incredible. I can't wait to have you back. Maybe on Maine again where we could play ridiculous characters. Oh, yeah. Happy to come back for anything. You guys are the best. And thank you for having me on this room. That's so fun. Of course. You guys rock. That one is dwind.

is dwindling. Selena is getting tired. The Fairhorn is on its deathbed. Helena is done. And that's fine. Anyway. Okay. All right.

Well, Miles, thank you so much for joy. Yeah, check out Miles. Miles, YouTube. Myles, YouTube. My, Mr. YouTube. Miles, YouTube. Just search Miles. Just search Miles YouTube and smell what the rock is going to.

Link it below, so shut out. All right. All right. Bye, guys. Zondar off. Goodbye. Bye. Bye, guys.

Love you. Love you.