Smosh Mouth - #149 - Can You Guess Our Top 5?
Episode Date: June 22, 2026Amanda, Shayne, and Damien talk top 5's! You can get up to 50% off your first order, plus free shipping at https://MeUndies.com/smoshmouth, promo code smoshmouth. Sign up for your one-dollar-per-mont...h trial today at https://SHOPIFY.COM/smosh.0:00 Intro12:50 Sponsor!14:07 Caffeine and catching up19:26 One of Amanda's Top 5's26:56 Sponsor!28:24 Top 5's SUBSCRIBE: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshCastWEAR OUR JOKES: https://smosh.com WHO YOU HEARShayne Topp // https://www.instagram.com/shaynetopp/Damien Haas // https://www.instagram.com/damienhaas/Amanda Lehan-Canto // https://www.instagram.com/filmingamanda/WHO YOU DON’T HEAR (usually)Director: Selina GarciaEditor: Andre GardereProducer: Amanda Lehan-Canto, Shayne Topp, Selina GarciaPodcasts Producer: Selina GarciaProduction Designer: Cassie VanceArt Director: Adrian Sheen, Erin Kuschner, Josie BellerbyAssistant Art Director: Courtney ChapmanProp Master: Abigail Schmidt, Bridgette Baron, Emilie AndersonStage Manager: Alex AguilarProp Assistant: Lunora ReyesDirector of Audio: Scott NeffAudio Mixer: Matt TaylorAudio Utility: Michael AlaynickDirector of Photography: James Hull, Brennan IketaniVideographer: Eric Wann, James HullCamera Operator: Elaine PuseyAssistant Director: Cameron MitchellExecutive Vice President of Production: Amanda BarnesDirector of Production: Alexcina FigueroaProduction Manager: Jonathan Hyon, Tyler M. KennedyProduction Coordinator: Oliver Wehlander, Zianne HooverProduction Assistant: Caroline Smith, Michael GomezDirector of Post Production: Luke BakerDIT/Lead AE: Matt DuranDIT/AE: Beni KimuenePost Production Coordinator: Ariana MartinezDirector of IT: Tim BakerIT & Equipment Coordinator: Lopati Ho CheeSound Editor: Gareth HirdDirector of Design: Ness CardanoSenior Motion & Branding Designer: Christie HauckSenior Graphic Designer: Jay TaylorGraphic Designer: Monica RavitchDirector of Channel Operations: Lizzy JonesChannel Operations Manager: Audrey CarganillaChannel Operations Coordinator: Sabrina LiebermanDirector of Social Media: Erica NoboaSocial Media Associate Producer: Peter DitzlerSocial Media Manager: Kim WilbornSocial Media Coordinator: Margaux BernalesSocial Editor: Vida RobbinsMerchandising Manager: Mallory MyersBrand Partnership Manager: Chloe MaysBrand Partnerships Coordinating Producer: Liz KummerOperations Manager: Marshall A. PeaseOperations Coordinator: Sara FaltersackFinancial Operations Specialist: Natalie LewisTalent Coordinator: Danielle MosesPeople & Culture Manager: Katie FinkPeople & Culture Coordinator: Hannah MerrittCEO: Alessandra CataneseExecutive Producers: Anthony Padilla, Ian HecoxCCO: Cory MidgardenEVP of Programming & Development: Kiana ParkerProducer, Special Projects: Rachel CollisExecutive Coordinator: Katelyn HempsteadOTHER SMOSHES:Smosh: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshSmosh Pit: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshPitSmosh Games: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshGamesSmosh Alike: https://bit.ly/SubToSmoshAlikeFOLLOW US:TikTok: https://smo.sh/TikTokInstagram: https://instagram.com/smoshFacebook: https://facebook.com/smosh
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Hey guys, right now, if you head to live.smosh.com, we have a bunch of our live shows available.
And if you buy a ticket to one of these shows, you get $10 off a bundle, which has a lot of great stuff.
Yep. Shane and I are reacting to Smosh Hospital, which is in the bundle, and Courtney and Anthony are reacting to Anthony's funeral, which we did a couple years ago.
And it's so good, also in the bundle.
And if you're going to do that, make sure to send it to the account that you use to buy a ticket, and that's how you'll get $10 off.
the bundle. Part of the bundle is we did
Reddit shows for Netflix as a joke. They were amazing shows
with incredible guests. The energy was incredible
in there and they are also a part of the bundle. We have a lot of these
Smosh reads, Reddit Stories, live shows available on live.smosh.com
which have never been available before until now. You get to watch us do our show
in front of thousands of people. They were a wild
ride. So cool. Highly recommend.
Anyways, check them out and here's the show.
Here's the show. Get your bundle.
Hi, welcome to Smoshmouth. I'm Shane.
And I'm Amanda, and we have a wonderful guest with us today.
His name is Damien.
Thank you so much for having me.
I really do appreciate it.
It's lovely being here.
I love the show.
I love what you guys do.
Thank you.
Thank you, Damien.
Yeah, thank you so much, Damien.
And since today we're doing top fives, you are, you're in that list of my top fives.
Oh, thank you.
Of what?
Just top five?
Yep, cast.
Whoa, holy shit, all right.
We won't say who the rest.
We will not speak on who the rest of them are.
Yeah, or where you place in the top five.
Correct. Oh, I was never going to.
But you're there.
But you are on that list.
I could see myself being a solid four.
So five to me is the best.
Oh, what?
In what world is that?
What the hell are you doing?
And I was kidding.
That's so funny.
No, also what I don't love is that I switch it up.
I said I think I'd be a solid four.
And then you said, just to clarify, five is the best.
Yeah.
So you were saying that you were second, but I messed it up.
So now you're saying you're not second.
You're second the last.
Right.
Of five.
Of course.
Out of all the cast.
Yeah.
It's still pretty good.
I don't get a medal or any.
It's very nice.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
And Selena put her top five of something.
So we're not saying what our top fives are.
Yeah.
So Selena on the felt board wrote lap, crop, mountain, muffin,
carrot. Damien and I said we figured it out. And I said
how dare you? So these are
Selena's five favorites of
this category. Amanda
looking to your heart, you know what this is. Lap,
crop, mountain muffin, carrot.
Selina's definitely being silly because some of these
We got a straight up silly goose situation on their hands. Yeah.
Is it silly or is it real? Some of them are silly. It is clever. It can be
very and silly.
Yeah.
I'm transported back to like middle school and high school like right before a big test.
Uh-huh.
Where it was like, no, no, no, I don't want to do this.
Can I ask off the topic?
Like, you're not guessing what, what are these five words remind you of?
Hiking.
Hiking.
Crop and lap.
Muffin.
Well, not those two.
Shane, you did ask for an answer.
She gave her off the top of her.
Oh my God.
This is why I love Damien because he protects me from your.
Crazy ass.
Fair, fair, fair.
And this is why I love Amanda.
She doesn't need protecting,
but I like to support her.
That's right.
Yes, Shane.
Truly, oh, no.
So, what happens?
I look at one word and I go, got it.
Coffee, of course, Mountain.
Muffin coffee.
You know, my brain went to candy first.
I was like, oh, what if it's Candy Mountain?
I think this is the problem.
This is not like a category thing.
This is a little bit more of a word game.
here and so you might not be as like,
oh.
What's the word that goes after all of these?
So I will say someone in the office was like, I never watch you guys.
I only listened to Smoshmouth audio.
And then I felt really bad.
Because we're all doing these like really cool hands things.
I'm so sorry.
I felt really, really guilty.
And then I was like, why do I wear cute things?
What is the point?
What?
People do defeat the purpose of a, of a podcast a little bit.
Well, when I'm listening, I want to know, like, okay, did these people put an effort, though?
Yeah, and that's, and I did.
Damn wearing new shoes, new shirt.
Top.
You got it.
Did she do that because your last name is top?
No, she didn't write.
My name is not in the top five.
This is our top fives.
So it's her top five tops.
That is brilliant.
So it's, for the people who can't see in the audience is laptop, crop top, ring drop, crop top, mountain top.
Muffin top and carrot top
Carrot top
That was a fun guy
Remember that comedian
Boy oh boy
He's still around
He's still around
He's alive
He's on steroids
But yeah
I haven't seen him or heard of him
In a long time
Now you have carrot top
Here he is
Yeah mountain top is cool
Laptop I like
Crop top I can't
I can't relate to
But I know I'm sure some people
really enjoy wearing those
So
Yeah
Muffin tops
I would kill to see you in a crop top
I'd pay money
If I could, I don't need to have the best body in the world.
Hundreds of dollars.
I want the like.
Fresh cash.
X men in the 80s like crop top.
I've got a six pack.
I love that.
That'd be so cool.
Yeah.
How are you, Damien, by the way?
Yeah, how's going to me?
You know what?
It's your first time on the new set.
Oh, yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
It is.
I mean, for this, I think I've, I've, you know.
I kept being like, we should have them and you kept being like, I don't think that's a good idea.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just don't.
That's Shane.
No, I've been good.
I've been traveling a lot,
but I'm back in town and it feels good.
I will say, the new set is beautiful.
What I'm realizing for all of our new sets,
though, the one luxury that I've lost
with a new beautiful set is I can't, like,
sit cross-legged and put my shoes on stuff anymore
because I feel bad because it's all a really nice set.
Wait, you sure you don't want to put your shoe
on our nice table?
It will crumble the dust, but I'm happy to.
Okay.
Yeah?
Selena said you can, and what she says go.
It's also a brand new, I've got brand new shoes.
If you were audio listening, he went from the bottom up.
Yeah, he sat on it opposite style.
My shoes, I bounced on it crazy style.
The table.
Me at the in-and-out drive-thru.
Can I get my burger upside-down style?
They've probably had people do that and die laughing.
Yeah.
And they hate you.
And they just sit on the other end while I'm just like,
you're by yourself, you pull up, you're like, wow.
Hey, I'm Shane.
You know what I need to do?
Okay.
You know what I need to do?
The next time I go to a drive-thru for fast food, I need to be ordering.
I'm by myself, by the way.
I need to be ordering, but I need to talk as if there are other people in the car.
Courtney's just waiting in the parking lot, like, where the fuck is you?
I need to be like, can I get a number three and what do you guys want?
What do you want?
Oh my God.
Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, we can't have that.
And I order like that, like it's full.
And then I pull up and it's just me.
And they're like, oh.
They would hate you.
What if they hand me the food for free?
That is.
Yeah.
They're scared.
Why would they ever?
Because they're scared.
Here's the deal.
So it's a robbery.
They don't.
Well, it's a psychological robbery.
They don't care.
You're right.
They're going to pull up and they're not going to remember that you played the trick.
They're just going to see you laugh, giggling to yourself.
It's also not a trick.
It's like just making their day worse.
Yeah, yeah.
Because I'm sure the worst thing working in fast food is probably people being like, what do you guys want?
It's like, no, that's what the pre-menu was for.
You have to decide that.
So you're just doing that unnecessarily.
His ideas.
I rarely get much time at the pre-menu.
That is true.
Why people beeping at you?
The pre-menu at a fast food place, the drive-thru, you're pulling up and you want to have more time to look at it, but sometimes you don't get the time.
You got to hurry.
Yeah.
Especially with Taco Bell, because like they, and I shout out to Taco Bell, they're always adding new stuff where they're like, did you know we do like fried chicken tenders now with the crazy Chipotle sauce?
Well, we have it.
But it's just today.
And you're like, oh, God, did it fall off the back of the truck?
I have to get it.
The crazy sauce.
but I can't see everything.
You've got new stuff.
Wait, you have to set some, like, car boundaries.
You have to be like, give me a second.
I'm looking at the menu.
How does that make me laugh?
I'm too anxious to stop before.
Like, you got to keep it moving.
Shane, are you the type of person who sees a perfectly good parallel parking spot?
And you're about to do it, but people are beeping at you.
So then you just, you're midway and then you drive off.
No, I will.
People have never beeped at me while I'm trying to get into it.
But it does suck.
You have to go kind of past it.
Yeah.
And then if someone tries to pull in behind you,
You have to be like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
See, this is too high.
My shoes are brand new.
Can I put it on your, can I put it on your lovely sofa?
Oh, amazing, thank you.
You don't make the rules.
Yeah.
Sit however you want.
Sure.
You freaking want, dude.
You may.
Those are good shoes.
Thank you.
This sofa is lucky to have shoes like that on it.
That's the weirdest thing a guy could ever say.
By the way, your sofa is on.
I'm pretty sure dudes have said weirder things.
You smell different when awake.
Amanda, you watch true crime.
Dudes say weirder things.
You must be aroused.
You smell different.
Yeah.
Oh.
Okay.
See, there you found it.
Vampires say that.
It's like pepper.
Oh, wow.
I'm going to do my first.
I'm still getting asked that all the time,
especially when, oh yeah, so I'm doing, I'm doing well.
I've been doing a lot of conventions.
But at least one spur convention, some will ask like,
hey, I got to ask like, what is the deal with pepper?
Like what is the joke behind that?
And I'm like, it's not, it's a nothing joke.
There is no anything behind it.
There is nothing there.
And I think that really blows people's minds.
Yeah.
They really can't handle that.
There is actually nothing.
That's what's funny about it, is that there's nothing to do it.
It's like when I say really dumb things on videos and then I see like a fan come up to me and be like, poop in the ocean if you must.
And I'm like, I said that.
Sometimes, sometimes you don't remember saying the thing because it's been like five months and you didn't see it after that.
Yeah.
Can I be completely honest?
No.
People, fans, fans were, for so long,
they were saying, croissant in hand, I was alone.
And I, I completely forgot that I.
It's the Gartic phone.
I completely forgot that I was part of that at all.
And until I saw the clip again, I was like,
oh my god, that's right.
I was, people have to understand,
we're in like a million videos.
But there are things that I do remember.
Oh, yeah, there's things I remember.
Like wheat grass.
Yeah, it's a classic.
Yeah, it's a classic.
Remember when you,
put a hole through my hand during that video?
Like a stigmata?
Like, what are we talking?
You don't remember this?
I don't.
I did.
So you put like a...
I did remove most of Eid or Eid.
I hit a point I was reading a book recently and my brain was like, hey, you're only
going to retain this if you remove something.
And I was like, uh, let we'll get rid of Eater.
Eat or Eater.
All those memories.
I did a, I did get a compilation on TikTok recently of like, what are those moments
between me and specifically Tommy?
And I'm like, it was funny, but I was like, I don't remember most of the,
of what are those?
What do you mean?
What are those?
It was a show format that I hosted.
It was...
Was that when you were in a purple tucks and you were like...
It was like pink and bright and neon?
Okay, I think that was like really early on when I was on Smosh and I was in one video
about that and it was like houses in Florida?
That was a way...
They were like trying to change up the format and that's like...
Oh, that's the one that I was in.
That's the death knell of a show where they're like, whatever.
We do it real different now.
We just do a different thing.
And they're like, okay.
Yeah.
We had a good run.
Wow.
It was a fun show.
Yeah, it was fun.
I don't drink caffeine anymore,
and that was part of,
that was a crux of the show.
At all?
I haven't for like a long time.
Good for you.
I lied.
When I was in London a couple weeks ago,
I did have some English breakfast tea.
You'll have a tape,
but you're not like a caffeine drinker.
I can't do it, yeah.
Yeah.
Good for you.
No, you were psychotic in what are those?
Yeah, I would have like,
well, it was ninja milk at the time
or like a, I think like a Celsius or,
something and then just
Ninja milk. Ninja milk.
Is that milk just for ninjas?
Yeah, you kind of have to join a exclusive
club. No, it was another
YouTuber's energy drink that they made
and gave to Ian and I was like, I'll try this and then
yeah, I'll do a lot of it. And then you
you feel like his parent right now
and then he drinks so much. And you've tried a lot of it. Yeah, you were psycho
back then. I'm so glad you stopped. This episode of Smoshmouth is sponsored by
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promo code smosh mouth. Now back
to the show. The show. Not your show.
Well, the show. Our show. But I mean, that's kind of my show.
Don't. We had an episode of a show called Hacking Off.
That show was fun. Yeah, where Damien and I would try different life hacks.
Boys can get away with anything.
What are you talking about? If I said tits out, they'd be like, you guys are
slutty. I'm pretty crazy shit all day. And I guarantee you what's made in the video.
If I said like boobies want to get some, like that's my...
Amanda, you...
Half the compilations I see on TikTok are you and Angela and Courtney saying shit like that.
That's such a lie.
Roll the clip.
So anyways, hacked off.
Hacking off.
Oh, oh.
So you're doing it.
Okay.
Meat kisses.
Present tense.
What is the show?
We would try DIY hacks.
Like there's online.
They'd be like, oh, these types of hacks and they're all stupid.
And we'd make our own versions of what are better.
Like, I brought in my version of like, this isn't this better?
And it always failed.
It always was horrible.
Damn, Duncan left
and right. No, not his. I'd say both of ours.
Both of our. But that was like part of it.
Oh, okay. That's cute.
But it was a great time.
But I remember one time before we shot one of them,
Damien had had so much caffeine
that you were like losing your mind.
Was it Ninja Milk or caffeine?
No, that didn't last long.
Roll that clip.
That's what I want to say.
I do need to stop drinking coffee for like a week.
Really?
You're going to get a headache, honey.
Yeah, it's an addiction.
I have plenty of days I only have one cup of coffee.
If you stopped cold turkey, you're going to get a headache.
You have to stop cold.
I'm only drinking a cup of coffee some days.
You could try one sip.
And that's enough?
I just, I promise you you're going to get a headache.
Okay.
I say double down, go in the other direction.
Make a mocha pot every morning.
So much.
For just yourself.
Yeah, I mean, I love coffee.
Me too.
I like the routine of it.
Yeah, that's how I am.
I could switch to decaf.
As a decaf drinker now, it's, um, it's okay.
That's my problem.
I don't like the taste of it too often.
It's fine.
It just, it tastes like trash.
You do end up missing the like, come up where you're like,
I'm waking up.
You'll drink it and be like, this is warm and I have to poop.
That's great.
Uh-huh.
And that's, that's it.
What?
Coffee gets a going to go on.
I know.
I know.
I love it.
Not disagreeing.
Um, I'm going to say something that's so random, but it made me think of it.
So for the first time the other night, my son,
scared me.
And that has nothing to do with coffee.
He was just like chilling there
and all of a sudden he just pulled out a knife
and you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
and he was just like, no.
No, I wish it was like,
I wish it was like as obvious as that.
It showed me that A, I watched too many horror movies
and B, my son
like sometimes him and my husband
do fun things together and then he does it to me
and I'm like, what is that?
So I was holding him cuddling ready for bed
and he had his head on my chest
and then he looked up and went
Oh my god
Okay yeah that's scary as hell
He did the grudge at you
I'm not even exaggerating
And then he went like this
Oh yeah no
And I was like
Don't freak out Amanda
And then I naturally
You'll give him a complex
I naturally I'm glad you're such a good parent
Because me I'd be like
Oh and I'd have to throw him
I'm like
I seriously, I turned around to be like, is there a demon behind me?
I literally went like this.
I went, stay calm because he looked at me and he was like, uh,
and I was like, find out your son has asthma.
And you're like, yeah, I thought it was a demon, but I had to take him in.
And so he kept doing that nonstop.
And then finally, I just had to like push through it.
No.
I just had to like.
Sorry.
Jane is watching me.
I'm notting so hard.
Sorry.
Sorry, I've been recording Reddit stories all day.
I'm kidding.
I'm kidding. You have permission.
But anyways, he was, I was just rocking him.
And then finally I put him down.
And I went up to age and I was like, I had like my first moment of like fear.
Because this apparently happens with parents where they have like moments of fear.
Yeah.
Remember when we saw the John Mullaney stand up and he talked about his son in the rear of mirror?
Yeah.
And he's like, I want to be called who shall not be named.
No, he wanted to be called like, scary, scary man or something.
Like, yeah, he had a joke about it.
Kids get scary and also like horror movies.
Kids are creepy as fuck.
But this was my first time ever being scared.
And I went up to age.
I was like, so this happened.
He was like, oh, I'm like what?
He's like, sometimes I do that.
Like, I'm like, so they mimic everything you do.
And randomly one day he was going like this.
And I was like, I don't know what that.
is where'd you get that and then H does it to him baby oh man so H is just
teaching him scary shit I guess but like first time I was scared by my son and
that was interesting it will not be the last it will not be the last maybe I need
to take a break from horror movies but I love that you're not to say I was gonna
take a break my son man I need to not gaslighting left and right when the
animals hung out with them is that a thing you can do you're at nature raise
yeah of course yeah yeah
Definitely.
No, that'll see how that worked with.
Are you pointing?
Haramba?
Yeah.
No, you know, it didn't when, because we got shot.
Anyways, I'm going to start with my, one of my top five.
Okay, so what we're doing today, by the way.
Let's explain it.
We'll talk about top fives in general, but you're going to read out five things that are a top five of something.
And we're guessing what the list is.
Yes.
Cool.
Okay.
I wonder if I should start strong or just middle it.
I'm going to go middle it.
Yeah, middle it.
Okay, here are my top fives.
Okay.
And obviously the first one that I read is my top.
Oh, I don't have all the ordered.
Oh, we don't like that?
I mean, that's fine.
I'm saying I don't have mine ordered.
Oh, yeah, it's fine.
It's just a category.
Okay, fine.
But we'll know that this is your, you're starting with number one.
Yeah.
Cool.
Yeah.
Sand.
Okay.
Ocean.
Furry carpet.
Cool tile.
Clay balls.
Okay.
This favorite things to like lay down in?
Favorite things to have on your feet?
Yes.
Damien is, ugh.
Wow.
Thanks.
Those are good.
Clay balls.
Yeah.
Yeah, you guys know what I'm talking about.
Clay balls.
Clay balls.
Like a, like a Korean spa.
Yeah.
I ended up getting those like lacrosse style like therapy balls to like
undo the knots and the, I got a, I got a,
I got a massage a few weeks back and I don't do that.
I was like, but I was like, God, I'm so tense after, you know, being on planes and stuff.
And you guys, my energy is better.
Like, they got knots out of my back where I'm like, have I just been carrying this shit for like six years?
Yes.
Did you get a massage where it's like they're beating you up or a massage that's like a little more like.
It hurt a lot.
Yeah.
And then afterwards, oh, whenever I get a massage, I'm like, I want you to try to kill me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Break my bones.
Yeah, truly.
It's not like, people like, whenever I see massages,
and it's very like soothing, relax.
I'm like, that is not my experience
and I don't want it to be.
I can go to sleep. Why?
Yeah.
But the only thing is you have to be really careful
when you send like your mom to one of those massage places
when she's visiting because she's not prepared.
I literally send her to my favorite place where they fuck you up.
Like your ribs are this close to cracking.
Yeah.
And she got out and she was like, I mean, I felt like I needed to,
you know, say uncle.
I was in there
She's like, they slapped me
They truly do like
WWE finishers on you sometimes
Where they like get up on the table
And they're like pulling your leg
Yeah
And it's like stretching your like
your quads in a great way
From the top row
But it's like truly it's like
Finish her
When they like truly step on your neck
They're like stepping on my neck
Okay
I don't know if they're supposed to do that on the neck
Like we spa and like Korean spas
When they like get it they have the bars
High above
Yeah the lady had the point
They're like stepping on your back and they walk on your back up to basically my neck.
That's crazy.
You got special treatment.
People are nodding their heads.
I'm not alone in this.
Yeah.
Also, I did not mean to detract that much from your top five.
I just thought of, like, the therapy balls.
Oh, my God, it changed by the because you asked what it was.
No, I love it.
That's what we do.
That's, those are the massages that I love.
And also, I will say witnessing people get into a clay ball room is probably the funny.
I've never been into clay ball room.
Whoa.
Guys, if you want to have...
It is like a ball pit.
It is like a...
Okay, little clay balls that are like this.
It's dead silent.
And you're laying there and the balls are warm.
It feels amazing and you're laying there.
And then some kid pops up out of the balls.
I've been here for five days.
No.
No, now you're going to scare me, guys.
Stop.
I lost a fly down there.
Where my french fly?
No, people try to come in and get to their spot.
And they just...
They walk and they're like, oh, ow, oh, shit.
Oh, God.
So I'm imagining the whole surface of the ground is covered with clay balls.
So it's like a, it's like a Scooby-Doo slipping on marble situation.
Pretty much, but they're trying to get to their spot, but they're just like struggling.
Sounds like it'd be hard to relax when someone's like, fuck.
It is really hard.
Jesus.
It is really hard.
That's one of your favorites.
I'm trying to think of things that I love to step on, like like, beneath my feet.
That's a really nice one.
Ooh, you know when you're walking on tile and then,
and you're barefoot, you're walking on tile.
And then you make your way to one of those soft, like, padded, like mats.
Yes.
Ooh, yeah.
And you get to step off something really, like, concrete onto something really soft.
Yes.
That moment is amazing.
That moment is nice.
I like that.
I think, honestly, the top five that you gave other than clay balls,
because I don't know what that's like, would more or less be mine,
like a really comfortable carpet, like a really suck.
But one thing I do love is.
is going outside and there's like hot concrete,
but not too hot.
And you're in your bare feet.
And you're like, ooh, this is a good level of like hot.
And I can't stay on this for long.
I don't get that.
People like to feel a little bit of the burn.
A little bit of the burn.
Like I don't do well in heat, but if I'm like,
I only need to be out here for a minute.
And I, do you like hot leather seats though?
You know when you go into someone's car
and it's been in the sun for too long?
And you're like, oh.
I don't love hot leather seats, but I don't mind.
I think I've brought this up before on Smosh stuff.
I don't mind the really hot air for just like 30 seconds.
Like getting in the car and being like, wow.
Just like, oh, it's the, I'm full of infrared.
Wow.
And then you turn on the air.
So hot concrete.
Hot concrete.
What else?
Anything else?
Like fuzzy socks I was also thinking about.
Very gently, my cat.
Like if I'm laying on the sofa and my cat's sleeping there,
and I'll just go like.
What is happening?
My cats don't tolerate that for some reason.
Freya just loves being a little poppy pillow.
Little, little feet on the cat.
Cats are so weird with what they do tolerate and then don't.
Tuppins is getting better.
Yeah?
Learning the way.
Learning the way of you putting your feet on?
Not the feet, but actually he did sniff my toe the other day, but no, like more that like...
He did.
You wake up, you're like, why are my feet wet?
He's like, oh.
Yeah, I'm raising him to be a pervert.
No, he just like, he like curled into my tummy,
and he's starting to be like, okay, I just want to be like near you.
Then he, like, laid against my butt the other day.
Just like, so he's getting better with just like wanting the contact.
Bones has weirdly switched.
He, for the longest time, wanted to be spooned in bed.
Like, he would, like, be little spoon.
He wanted to just be wrapped up and held.
But nowadays, he's become, for some reason, it's suddenly switched,
and he's now end of the bed, cat.
He's matured.
But cats switch around.
And I think is it like a instinctual hunting thing
that they find different spots?
It's like, okay, I'm posted up here for a while.
I don't know.
He's guarding your feet.
But they never stay in one place for that long.
They'll be like, he'll be at the end of the bed for a while,
and then he's going to find a new spot that he chills in.
Freya has decided that this one stuffed animal
next to the sofa on the right is like her new spot.
And at first I was worried,
because it was right before I was about to travel a bunch.
And she's just sitting there half under the sofa,
in this weird spot. I'm like, what's wrong? What is different? Why are you like hiding and sleeping in this weird spot?
And it turns out that's just her new thing. It's just what she wants. Wow.
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Back to the show.
Back to the show.
Hold on.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Damien, would you want to read a top five?
I would love to do it.
You know what?
Would you?
Here I go.
Scarlet.
Gold.
Yellow.
One, you can't sweat out.
Saturday night.
Okay, yeah.
I got it.
What is it?
Is it fever?
Yeah, top five types of fever.
So you love scarlet fever the most?
The best.
High mortality, right?
It's so...
One you can't sweat out.
Okay, that's really, really good.
It's the Gatco album and I love it.
I was just struggling with Scarlet.
Yeah, Scarlet fever, gold fever, yellow fever.
I've never even heard of gold fever.
Well, it just means like gold rush fever.
Like, I've got gold fever.
Okay, okay.
Because there's golden...
Different type of fever.
At first I thought it was Pokemon games.
That's why I wrote it that one.
I wanted to give you a little twist.
I thought it was shirt colors.
Because I thought we were going to be named.
naming these one by one and so I was like I'm gonna so get Shane for the first three. Oh. Oh. We could do it that way. Yeah, we could. But not for that one.
But now yeah. Now it's kind of fuck. That one we put to bed. This is really fun though. Do you have a okay. Do you have an this is gonna be weird when you get sick. Is there a one sickness that you get and you're kind of like I'm it's like kind of cool with this at times?
Honestly, I'm kind of a baby. I'm such a workaholic that anything feels like no. Now I can't do my stuff. I'm
Yeah.
Like, I don't, I hate being sick, but there is something like when you get like just a mild cold and it's like the type that you're just kind of like tired and it's like, all right, you know, it, it almost like because I'm a workaholic at times, it gives me the like excuse that I'm like a half way down.
You can kind of deal with it.
But once I have like a sore throat and a fever, it sucks.
Oh, yeah.
If it's throat, I'm pissed.
And also like I know people who have like major migraines and stuff, tiny headaches will take me out.
Headaches.
You're like such a baby.
Headaches suck.
I'm done.
I cannot handle a headache at all.
Headaches suck.
I am so grateful.
I am someone who does not get headaches because I'm down for the count.
Yeah.
I have a mild one.
Yeah.
Headaches suck.
Now that you mention it.
I don't, I don't really mind this.
How do I phrase this?
Rashes all over your body?
No, I hate that one.
I don't really mind.
I don't really mind stuff that like makes you really go to the bathroom a bunch.
Like if you get your stomach just kind of,
like if I feel kind of sick and want to throw up, that's awful.
But like out the other end, I'm like, great, I'm just going to go to the bathroom a bunch.
Can I, can I be honest?
This is going to sound insane.
I can't wait.
I don't want this.
But like after you have food poisoning and after like the food poisoning is like the worst of it is done, right?
And you're just exhausted.
There's something a little nice about being so.
It feels like you're in a crater in the ground.
And you're just like, well, I have to relax.
You're like, I am empty.
My body cannot do anything.
You have been cleansed.
Empty.
It looks like after like a crazy rainstorm, like you open the door the next morning and like the sun is coming up and the air is clear.
And like, yeah, there's a shit ton of sticks everywhere because half the trees went down.
Yeah.
Because there was a tornado outside.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Of course.
That represents the diarrhea.
Right.
But then you're otherwise fine.
Yeah.
No, I like that.
That is probably the only good part of being sick ever.
But I would rather have a fever and chills than be throwing up.
Throwing up is the worst.
Yeah.
I remember one time I was really, really sick when I was pregnant,
and I also had food poisoning at the same time.
And I think you did the same week.
Really?
Yeah.
And I was green in the face watching all the X-Men's.
Like laying in bed like this.
Well, that's what you're so sick.
Yeah.
I've been to the hospital for food poisoning before.
Like it,
it.
They told me I should go in, but I did not want to throw up.
And H was like,
you are green in the face.
You are pregnant.
You need to throw up.
And I was like, no.
I've definitely told the story of me
having food poisoning on set before.
Yeah.
On the show, right?
Yeah.
I forget.
And that's it.
That's all working.
And that's it.
And that's it.
That's it.
The worst.
food poisoning I ever had. I had it. It was on Goldbergs, right? I was on Goldbergs. It was in the middle
of shooting. It was the middle of a scene. And I, Mike has been to him. And he looks at me in the
face. I didn't say anything. He just looks at me and just goes, go to the bathroom. And I truly
was just like, and I tumbled out while people were in the middle of their dialogue. And it was
awful. You can tell. Oh, yeah. And it hits immediately. More like Shat. Bradley.
Nice. It's truly, it's like a, like you're immediately sick. Did I tell you that when we were
Denver for Reddit I turned on the hotel TV and it was immediately the Goldbergs.
Like I can't escape them. Oh God. I'm just getting me. No it was cute. I watched a little bit of it like one second or two seconds. Okay. Okay. I've got I've got a I've got it. I've got it. I've got it. I've got it. I've got it. I've got it. Okay. Okay. We like silly. Okay. Okay. Okay. 25. One. 150.
Top five bills of cash
You fucking nailed it, dude
I have a feeling
Me thinks I'm gonna lose
This game
That is not a game
We're just having fun here
And that's fine
Well to correct point of order
There's no winning
There is losing
That's really fun
So wait your favorite bill is what?
My favorite bill okay so my favorite bills
First is 20 $20 bill is the king
Right
It's got the shittiest dude on it though
I know it that sucks
but it is the best.
What's your favorite bill?
$20 bill.
It's just a good number to have.
Who's on that?
Andrew Jackson.
He's a huge piece of shit.
Yeah.
And he really is.
We should tell him.
This is like the worst.
Tell him.
Get his ass.
$5 bill though.
Linking.
Fun.
Crispy.
Yeah, the best of the president's on there.
But I just mean as a number as like for when you're like five is fun.
Five is a good one because it's like, oh, this is really nice for a lot of situations.
Yes.
It can cover a lot.
20 is like, this might be too much.
20 is going to have to get broken up most likely, but.
I feel like if you're going to bring a 20,
it's probably,
you probably need it for something more.
And they just get you just too many 20s you have to bring.
Yeah.
And $1 bill?
I like a $1 bill.
Oh, no.
If you have a couple of $1 bills, that can be really handy.
Those can get crumpled.
Oh.
So my dad loves carrying $1 bills,
but he has a Dotson.
And I don't know what the Dotson's deal is,
but they like to burrow.
like a what?
Do you know what a Dachshund?
Like a hot dog dog?
Are you saying?
Am I wrong?
What did you say?
It's D-A-A-
It's, I said Dotson.
Yeah, that's not what it's called.
What's it called?
It's a doxund.
It's with a D-C-H.
No, it's weird.
You shut your mouth.
It's weird.
It's a D-A-C-D-S-U-N-S-U-N-D.
It's D-H-S-U-N-D.
It's like even weirder.
Yeah.
Doxund.
Well, he has a Dach-Sund.
And they apparently like to burrow.
And so my dad keeps $1 bills in his pocket.
Shut up.
Wait.
My dad keeps $1 bills in his pocket.
And sometimes he'll fall asleep on the couch.
And all you see is his dots and just aggressively burrowing in his pocket and ripping up crumpled $1 bills.
So when I think of $1 bills, I just think of the DACA son getting dollar bills out of my dad's pocket.
Why is there something wrong with me? Well no it's just like something wrong with you. You just described
The weirdest situation the dog knows currency. Why not keep like snopsages
Oh, like trust me. And your dad has not changed where he puts the one dollar he has lost so
Well don't don't victim blame the man's being robbed. No, no do victim blame because my dad does the same thing. He goes oh Rosie. Oh Rosie. What are you doing? And then he's
still will put his dollar bills and then have them like this and then go and then shove them in his
pockets. Oh, that sucks. So I guess girls, girls. Hold on girls. I got some cash. Hold on girls.
Let me get some cash for you. You're just like, Jesus. Don't do that. I hate a crumpled dollar.
Yeah, same. Me too. Oh, I do like dollar bills because it's like I was just in Philadelphia for the
first time. It was great. And like I walked past two different street musicians. They were both
awesome and I got to go like oh here you go and put it in the little bin but if it's a five you're
like giving five bucks like I want to support but I kind of need this five nice but then like you
don't want to just be like here's some coins that fucking nobody uses anymore like a dollar is nice
coins the only coins that matter I'm so sorry to say it is quarters because laundry second
you're way of quarters are useful there are parts of so right what is that half dollar one dollar
oh that's one dollar that's a whole dollar right there's a dollar you can grow are those still in
print or they're circulation I
I don't know if they're being printed.
$2 bills are in circulation.
I have a $2 bill.
Me too.
A lot of people think they're rare.
They're only rare because people keep them thinking,
wow, I found them, but they make them every year.
Really?
Yeah.
I've only ever gotten one.
Shout out to the person who paid me only in $2 bills at the con
because they were like, I really wanted to share this and like show off
because it was fresh $2 bills from the bank.
And I was like, that's cool.
Holy shit.
You have a lot of luck.
Is it?
Jefferson.
I think it's Jesus.
Wow.
Yeah, God is on the $2.
D-dollar bills.
There's Selena studying for Jeopardy.
Still?
What are you getting on Jeopardy?
I don't know.
We'll see.
I saw some in a hotel room.
I watched a couple episodes,
and I was like,
Celina could beat the shit
at any of these people.
She could crush it.
I have another one.
I did mine.
You didn't explain why you like $150 or whatever.
I don't know if you had to.
Yeah, that's interesting.
Then it's just those are the final ones.
100's just too big.
I'm not.
Like, that's crazy.
Unless you're in Vegas
and you're trying to just lose everything.
Buy a candy bar with a $100 bill.
Just be like, can you break this?
Yeah, that's tough.
Sorry.
Yeah.
Okay.
You ready?
Yeah.
Do you want to go one at a time and we guess?
Yeah, sure.
Okay.
Sick.
Sick.
Favorite kind of day.
Did he nail it?
No.
Oh.
Sick.
Okay.
Favorite type of like adjectives to respond to something with.
Like, be like, oh, this, this, this.
Be like, sick.
Nasty.
Oh.
Favorite level of.
doing good in Tony Hawk.
They're like,
oh, your Ollie was sick.
That's crazy.
That's literally it.
What?
No, I'm kidding.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Sorry, David.
That's fine.
Best ways to be described.
Ew.
Oh.
Top responses to someone
doing something gross.
Yeah, top responses to finding
a big old doo-do on the ground.
Horrific.
One of,
like, Angela's stories,
what you say to it.
That's,
good. Stop.
That's the last one.
So sick, nasty, ew, horrific, stop.
That's a chance response.
Top five chance responses.
Pretty good.
No?
I don't know, I give up.
It's actually words for things I love.
So anytime I see like a character or like a video or like a wig or like, I'm like,
I'm like, ew, that's horrific.
Stop.
Sick.
Nasty.
Is that what you meant by all that?
that stuff? Yes. Yeah, it's true. I'm weird like that. I'm so weird like that. Like if someone
comes out in a character, I'm like, oh my God. That is like, like, ew. Or when someone says
like a thing, I'm just like, ew, but I love it. You're right. I'm horrible. Because that's like,
to you, that's like that's what's funny. I'm just like, ooh. Because you love like sick,
fucked up characters. Yeah, I do. Most of your characters are gross. Thank you.
Like, like, kind of genuinely, like, your characters always have some sort of like,
gross aspect to that.
It's like a lot of like they're
kind of like
I want you to see my character
like if they were like
all right I'm gonna get out of the house
today and I'm gonna talk to that one guy
and they just let it all hang out
not physically but like
because in either upcoming
or already released episode of BitCity
you play up like a pop star
like a retired pop star and her name is
Dariahria
Yeah that was a crazy episode
That is nasty.
And she is kind of nasty.
And I fell so deep into her.
I don't even know where Amanda was not there.
It was a get-out situation.
You would cut and you would stay in.
I was so low in my body that Dariah took over.
And we have another episode of BitCity coming out soon where you're playing a man
and you're maybe the grossest man we've ever had.
You are like a crumple dollar bill.
I am not a man in that episode.
You're, what?
Which episode?
I don't want to say the public access.
Oh, okay.
I thought you meant the Rory episode.
I was like,
no,
not to Rai Aria,
no,
I'm saying you have another.
Okay,
I thought you met the teenager one.
Oh,
yeah.
Yeah.
I play a man.
We haven't filmed it yet.
We haven't filmed it yet.
We haven't filmed it yet.
We have something that we haven't filmed yet.
Oh.
Playing the grossest man ever.
But my,
like,
yeah,
you get it.
It's like I love to kind of show that like,
that side of people that
They're just, you know what I mean?
That like only their close friends get to see,
but they've decided to just let it out today.
Yeah.
That's my favorite.
I feel like Sarah Christ is sticky.
She's so sticky.
Yeah.
She, who.
I feel like most of your characters have a little bit of the energy of the guy
who's just fully naked in the locker room at a public gym.
And he just like gives a quick slap on the butt.
And he's like, nice one.
I don't know.
Give a quick slap to someone else's sad.
Yeah.
Woo!
That one is higher than mine.
How'd you do that, man?
How'd you do that, dude?
Woo.
Baratone,
Sabrata.
You just zoom away and it's two guys and one guy going like this,
but you can only see the back of them.
Fog or leghorn, I'll say, I'll say.
Whoa!
How do you turn this thing on?
Let me turn this lamp on real quick.
Okay.
Bing!
Woo!
They came alive.
Lower than I expected.
Christ.
Hey.
Okay.
So, sorry, what was the theme of this episode again?
Top five.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Your eyes are soaked.
I know.
Okay.
God.
I got another one I'm ready for.
I'm ready for it.
Fuck, yeah.
My home.
Okay.
Save space.
Favorite places to be.
The Smosh office.
places I spend the most time.
Yeah.
Monday through Friday places.
I think I know it on the next one.
A nice hotel.
Best places you...
Best places to sleep.
He doesn't sleep here.
Does he?
Everybody.
People sleep here.
I don't...
Damien's taken...
Best places to eat food.
An airport lounge.
Most social he's had.
No, what are you talking about?
He's home first.
Favorite places to get work done?
A Barnes and Noble.
Favorite places to read?
Favorite place to take a dump.
Boom.
Yeah.
So.
Smosh office?
There's, oh.
I'm not a big fan of this place to take a dump.
It's great because like.
Barnes and Noble, eh?
Oh yeah.
So you've heard about the bookstore thing?
Yeah.
It's a real thing.
You know I haven't.
How dare you?
Okay.
How dare you?
So it's a real, I think it's been.
studied that when you walk into a bookstore, for some reason, it makes you got a shit.
Do you know why?
I think because it's very...
Wait, so you just said you didn't know.
I didn't know.
But now...
But now she's going to learn you something.
I catch on fast.
She's going to learn you.
I'm going to catch off bath.
I feel like because it's very relaxing and cozy.
Yeah, I think that's part of it.
Yeah, I think there's just this aspect to it that's like, oh, it's a little bit nicer
than like, do you have a bathroom?
Like, you know they do, and it's probably well put together.
Yes.
Smosh office, what I like about it is, you know, a lot of our bathrooms are gender neutral,
but sometimes they're gender neutral and they're still built specifically where you're like,
oh, this used to be a men's room.
So you have to lock the door behind you because it can only be you in there because you don't know who's going to walk in.
And there's two urinals and a still locked stall on the left.
And so I'm like, I have two layers of protection.
No one's going to walk in.
I can just.
It's true.
That is nice.
It's great.
Some of them, all of them are a little different, though.
But I love the ones.
that are you walk in and there's a stall
and you lock you get multiple levels
of two barriers if someone's trying to get to you
you're like good luck I'm gonna finish shitting before
you can kill me
no no no
I'll be fully done
wow
yeah no the Barnes & Noble thing is very real though
and I know that because I love Barnes & Noble I love
shopping for books and they know about you
every time I would go in there
and they know about me they're like here he comes
here he comes
well I'm fine when I walk in
people will die out of his
When I walk in, I'm okay.
I walk in and they're like, oh, okay, he's fine for now.
You pick up one about psychology.
I'm going to take this in there for a minute, give it a test drive.
But it's like gravity shifts when you walk into a Barnes & Noble.
It does.
And truly you're just like, oh my God.
The employees turn to you and go, go to the path.
Run!
We just blew up Barnes & Noble's spot, literally.
Yeah.
It's all bookstores.
It's all bookstores.
And libraries are probably the same case.
Maybe.
I thought their theory was that something with like the page like glue and stuff in the air and whatever.
I think that's giving everyone too much credit.
Yeah.
I think it's just like cozy books.
Maybe everyone's just bored as hell because they hate reading.
Probably.
No.
I just like, I don't know when you're out with your, like I remember being out with my family when I was a kid like shopping.
And if you had to use the restroom like what's the nicest option?
Like oh, hope they have a bathroom in the circuit city.
Like no, there's a Barnes & Noble right there.
Do you know what I wish?
I wish there was like a restaurant
that you could only come and read.
I think they have, I mean,
there's like no talking.
Oh, no talking.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking to a restaurant,
but like it would be fun to, I don't know,
I guess people do that in coffee shops.
You know what's, this was such a weird
culture shock experience,
but in Japan there's a ramen place
called Ichirang and it's delicious.
but it is a single stall
ramen place. So you walk in
and you don't sit with anyone. You go
and you have your stall and it's blocked
off from everyone around you. And even
you don't see the waiters or anything because
their faces are, you just see like
their hands come in with the food. And everything's like you write down what you want
and hand it off. What? You never talk to a
single person the entire time. Does you like that?
I kind of like it. Yeah. Especially because
ramen is such a like... Personal. It's kind of messy. It's like hot. There's
noodles flopping everywhere. So I'm kind of like
It's a nice one for me to just...
And this is for people who are like in and out.
Is it only just one spot?
Like what if you have someone else with you?
You go to different stalls.
Wow.
Well, like no one wants to see a man with a beardy soup.
You know what I mean?
Am I right, James?
Never.
Nobody wants to see that gross shit.
Am I right?
No, I'm just kidding.
Yeah, I'm married to that.
But it's such an interesting experience of like,
oh, like a singular experience.
I like that.
And then it does remind me, though, of pubs in like,
England when I've gone to that's my first experience when I the first time I went to London and I walked into a pub that was fully packed
That's when it hit me how loud Americans are and I was like wow it's so quiet yeah and there'll be someone at the bar at the pub
Reading a book yep with a full ass beer
Yeah, and I'm like you never see you can't do that at bars in America because it's so fucking loud and they'll call you a nerd
Yeah, and they'll beat you up and they'll be on you about it. They're just like so especially as like a female I'm sorry but you
You just can't, you can't really sit at a bar by yourself.
Yeah.
And I would love to, fuck it.
Like, was that east of Eden?
Do you want a martini?
I'll beg, yeah.
Cool.
I like a martini.
Okay, I've got one.
Okay.
We got this.
We got this.
Jumbo.
Strip club.
Favorite type of shrimp?
Mega.
Words for big.
types of la don
boob sizes
yeah sizes of yabbos
big old yabbos
knocker sizes
um
the game
the movie with
what's his name
because that's a great movie
what movie
the game
what's his name
the guy who's married to
captain Zeta Jones
Michael Douglas
yeah is it like
never watched the game
great movie
I feel like it's going to be something like
Jumbo Monopoly, mega monopoly, like Monopoly, the game,
or like something like that.
Oh, okay.
Legacy.
Baff!
Baff Legacy.
Betrayal.
Legacy?
That's, yeah.
No, I know.
And then finally just, yeah, the original.
Oh, it's gotta be some movie series.
Or is it Uno?
No, why would it be the game?
No, because he would have said no mercy.
Jumbo, mega,
Legacy.
Those are definitely my two tops
of this category.
Definitely. Jumbo and Mega.
And I think in that order.
If this is a video game,
I'm out.
It's not a video game.
If this is a movie...
Okay.
Maybe.
Maybe yes and no.
So is it...
You know, you know this, though.
Is it a movie?
The movie's one of them.
Wait.
Star Trek.
No.
Star Trek.
Jumbo.
Jembo.
Selina, you got this?
James did.
Yeah, of course James did.
Okay.
Jumbo.
Jumbo.
It's Jumbo that's really throwing me off.
Jumbo, mega, legacy.
Oh, Pokemon.
Not Pokemon.
Sonic.
The hedgehog.
Megasonic?
And Jumbo Sonic.
There's super Sonic and hypernuckles.
It stands to reason that
Megasonic could be.
Thank you, Daniel, for supporting me.
No, do you want me to give it to you?
No, not really.
I want another clue.
Like, don't be crazy, man.
So don't know.
Uh, uh, uh, uh,
Are we gonna like kick ourselves for this?
No.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Its favorite trons.
So you gave it away.
That's awesome.
Well, I said, well, like, because jumbo-tron.
That's number one.
That's, and Megatron.
And Megatron.
That's great.
And Tron Legacy.
I love those.
The game.
I played the game.
Really?
Yeah, it was like a web browser game that I found at one point.
Like Tron.
What about Tron Bond?
The character from Mega Man Legends.
he doesn't know what that is
I don't know what that is
What a Larger
Are there other trons
Tron Bonn
The original Tron and then the remake of Tron
I said the original
I
I
And it wasn't a remake
It wasn't a remake
It wasn't a remake
Where are we?
Because what's his name?
Planet are we on?
Kurt
Kurt
What's the guy who's in the original
Yes yes yes
He's in the reboot
And he'd been stuck in the game
All that time
You guys, what's...
Jeff Bridges.
Jeff Bridges,
and he fights Clue,
his, like, weird fucking clone version.
I thought those movies are...
Wait, isn't his son?
It's his son.
That's why it's legacy, I think, yeah, right?
Yeah.
Because that's his legacy.
It's also in Kingdom Arts.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, you could have added that,
and then we would have gotten it.
I wanted to find other types of trons.
No, that's great.
That's really fun.
Yeah, but Jumbotron, like,
you can't beat that.
It's funny whenever I'm at a sports game
and, like,
They're on the field.
You bought tickets to go see the live thing.
But you end up watching the Jumbotron so much.
Have you ever been on the Jumbotron?
Like you smiling or on the kiss camera or anything?
I don't want that.
Well, you don't get to choose.
They choose you.
They can find you.
I don't want to,
you know what's a fear of mine is they do that thing where they do the lookalike celebrity
lookalikes and then they'll be like ugly fucking fuck face.
They're like, oh.
Piece of shit.
And you're there just like, oh.
It's my favorite clips to watch.
And then the people are like, or they die laughing.
The worst is where the people, and I, can I be honest, I get a little mad at them, even though it's not their fault at all.
When people are on the Jumbotron and they don't realize it on the Jumbotron, I'm like,
until it's always the split last second, and they're like, they're like, and then it cuts away.
And you're like, look, look, dumb ass.
That's the opposite of what you're talking about.
You're like, you're spending all this money and you're going to watch the Jumbotron.
I know, exactly.
This idiot's not watching it.
They're actually doing the right thing.
I'm the problem.
No, you're not.
I also hate those people too.
It's not a justified emotion.
It's what I feel.
No, I get it.
They fucking suck.
I hope they die.
Yeah, no.
Hey, I didn't say that.
I hope they trip running 110 miles per hour and then get
emitted to dust by the road.
It does make me think about that cold play concert again.
That shit was, that was truly hilarious.
I think she went on a talk show to be like, what the hell?
This ruined my life.
So I'll never.
forget, I think I think I had given birth like two days ago and my sister was staying with us and
she's like, oh my God. So this Colblet thing and I was like, and that's, she was just like, man,
oh man. This cold blade thing, it's crazy. Like look at this picture. Oh my God. Everyone at my work
is freaking out about it. And I was like, I made a human. Did? I was like, I was not there. And then later
I went, oh my God, there was this cold play.
And H is like, yeah.
Yeah.
Welcome back.
Yeah.
It was really, really crazy.
It was really sad.
Do you know what the thing is?
If they didn't react, no, nobody, I get, I get why they did, but nobody would have noticed.
Oh, they, I mean, Chris Martin literally goes, oh, I think they're cheating.
He literally, it was like, well, that response, yeah, you guys are cheating.
And then she was head of HR.
Yeah.
Like, it's like, dude, dude, all the way down.
It's bad.
Don't just don't cheat.
Yeah, it was pretty bad.
But anyways, uh, okay.
Okay, I have, okay, ginger.
Snaps, smells.
I love ginger snaps.
Ginger snaps.
Mint.
Uh, spice girls.
Is this favorite types of ice cream?
Because I know you'd pick some weird shit.
Yeah, it is, you stupid idiot.
Really?
I love mint ice cream.
Ginger ice cream?
It's literally my favorite.
Mashedi Malone says the best ginger ice cream
I've ever had.
It's Persian ice cream.
When you've talked about sweets and ice cream,
you like more of the like...
I thought you were going to get messed up with ginger and mint.
Mint ice cream?
I don't like mint ice cream, but I know like a lot of people do it.
Amanda and I love it.
I do not like mint ice cream.
Okay, here are the other ones.
Mango?
Lavender.
I love lavender, but I put rose.
I prefer rose over lavender.
I've never had rose ice cream,
but I love rose as a flower.
flavor. Okay, you need to go to Mastie Malones because they do a saffron. Nasty Malone. Nasty Malone's ice cream.
Mastie, Mastey, I'm probably saying it wrong. Mastey Malones. It's Persian and it's epic. It sounds incredible. Saffron,
pistachio, rose ice cream. That sounds expensive. That sounds like. No, it's so good. And then Toffee is like my last I read.
It's great. But they have a ginger with real ginger in it. So good. I've got some, dude, the other day.
I got some pints that I put in my...
You nasty boy.
Okay, slow it out.
I got some crazy ice cream in my freezer.
I got horchata ice cream.
Yum.
It sounds great.
Yum.
Oh my God.
Sounds good.
Oh my God.
Some of that last night.
I was losing my mind.
You were doing what?
What were you doing while you're eating the ice cream?
I'm eating the ice cream.
I don't do anything.
Whoa.
I am zoned in.
You eat the ice cream at your table?
No silence.
I eat in the kitchen.
I truly pull it out of the freezer.
Oh, okay.
Throw to the microwave for five seconds.
Stop.
Five seconds.
Just to soften it up.
I've gone back and forth between thinking each of you was weird in this conversation and now you're losing heart.
He's the one who's.
So I never throw it in them.
I know, but I guess I just deal with it.
I like to solve it up a tiny bit.
Yeah.
Okay.
I guess I just.
I've never met anyone who also microwaves their ice cream.
Oh yeah.
Just for like a little like five seconds.
Just five seconds.
You think that's doing one?
So you stand?
No, it absolutely does.
It absolutely soft.
So you're just in your kitchen.
completely bottomless
eating ice cream
just a tank top
no bottom
and I am eating ice cream
I truly do
I'm yeah
yeah absolutely
you don't watch a movie or anything
like I don't eat it for that long
I want to put on a horror movie
I truly like I eat it for like
three bites
not fully three bites
but like you know a little bit
and then I cover it back up
put in the freezer and then I'm
I want to take my sweet time
I'm not sitting down with it
mine is like scoop a little bowl
I sit down with it
oh no I'm I'm it's for me it's like
like, bam.
Whoa.
We're stopping by.
We're having some ice cream.
We're getting out of here.
What's your favorite ice cream?
See, I love kind of all of them.
Yeah.
I really do.
Except for mint, as you said.
No, I don't dislike chocolate mint.
If I was like, if I was like on a vacation, it's like, oh, all we have in the
freezer is chocolate chip mint ice cream or just fully mint ice cream.
You don't even know the name.
It's crazy.
I kind of let it slide.
Because he's being a dickhead right now, so I really let it slide.
If I was sitting, like, if I was somewhere and it's like all we have is mint chocolate
chip ice cream. I'll be like, I will have a bowl of that.
And I will enjoy it. So in my
freezer, though, I have horchata.
Yum. I have, like, a chocolate,
like, or it's not a chocolate. It's a
cookie dough. Like, vanilla
with cookie dough. It's crazy.
Yum. And then I have
what's, oh, it's the Graham Central
Station. It's, it's a
Is that Ben and Jerry's? No, it's from
handles. Oh. It's a
gram cracker flavored ice cream that
also has, like,
pieces of gram cracker that are like,
really softened up because of the ice cream.
It's crazy.
Have y'all done afters?
Because afters has an Ube brownie.
Ube brownie ice cream.
I love Ube.
It'll change your life.
After's Ube Brownie and they've also got like
cereal milk flavors.
Like it's, they got some good flavors there.
I love good flavors like that.
And then also I ordered chocolate ice cream
and they accidentally didn't send me chocolate.
It's so it says chocolate on the like top
and then I opened up and I'm like this is definitely not chocolate.
I don't know what it is, but it's delicious.
You got a misprint.
That's valuable.
I fucking love it.
I'm like, I don't know.
Well, they write it with marker.
Like it's like, it's a fun place.
And I'm like, oh, you just clearly mislabeled the wrong thing.
And I'm like, but I'm eating this and I love it.
It's got a little bit of a cinnamon vibe to it.
Ooh.
So I don't know what it is.
Sounds like it could be like a Mexican hot chocolate.
Ooh, that's true.
I don't think that was one of their flavors, but.
No, you're wrong.
I will truly, I like, I will eat any flavor.
I don't like chocolate ice cream.
Oh, me too.
Amanda.
I love chocolate ice cream.
Oh my God, we're soulmates.
Oh my God.
Shane?
Sorry.
I love, I, hey, I love chocolate ice cream.
I just chocolate and vanilla are both so good.
Chocolate is Yuckville City.
I don't think it's, it's not yuck for me.
The fans are gonna come for me so hard in the comments.
And you know what?
Come at me, bro.
Chocolate can suck.
I don't think it's gross.
I just think chocolate is better in like every other form
where it's like, okay, it's a baked good.
Okay, it's a bar.
It tastes, it tastes fake.
It tastes like fake.
Yeah.
I love when they're like, they're like, every single place has like a different type of the intensity of it.
It's like super, the super double darkest chocolate ever.
Chakazuma's revenge.
Yeah, super chocolate.
Fuck you face it.
I'm like, yeah, I'm having that.
The devil's sin.
No, I just like chocolate is incredible.
I go through phases.
Yeah.
Like sometimes the chocolate gets too intense and I'm like, I'm going to take a break for a bit.
Go to vanilla for a while, but then I come back.
And it's, it's great.
Sounds like an abusive relationship.
No, it's an incredible relationship.
But that's how they would describe chocolate ice cream.
Like, I am an abusive relationship.
It's more like romance novels where it's like, I'm in love with him, but now I'm in love
with him and I go back and forth.
Oh, so he's the enemy.
So I'm fucking both the ice cream.
I'm fucking both ice creams.
And I'm standing up in my kitchen doing it.
Courtney's just like, Shane, honey, why is there a hole in the ice?
I'm like, no, it's a cylinder.
And it's stuck.
Nice.
All right, go ahead.
How much time do we have left for these?
Because I want to get through two more ideally.
I think we're good.
You should do yours back to back.
Okay, I'll do two real quick.
Because I can do mine any time while Shane doesn't want me to.
Okay.
The fuck did I do.
Here we go.
You like chocolate ice cream.
My cat's forehead.
Favorite things to boop.
Favorite things to lick.
What?
Pizza.
Oh.
Favorite things to sniff.
Oh, yeah.
Favorite smells.
We got my cat's forehead, pizza, honeysuckle, freshly ground coffee, and crisp apple candle from bedbath and beyond.
Oh, wow.
Oh my God.
Specific.
Incredible.
Yeah, I think it used to be called Autumn Day, and now it's like crisp apple.
That's amazing.
You know what's kind of funny?
I've known you for so long.
I don't think I realized that you loved pizza like that.
I think pizza, it's not even about eating pizza.
I think it's like going to a restaurant.
you're hungry and there's like a pizza being baked and you smell if you get a whiff of that you're like oh
i don't even mean like oh it's finally delivered to me i mean like pizza by the slice vibes being in a location
where you smell the pizza being that's true oh those are really really freshly brewed coffee
it just it's a full to me smells are full on memories yeah like full on memories if i smell
something and i'm like i told you that one time that i went up to one of my tables that i was serving
and I said she smelled like my piano teacher.
Oh, that doesn't sound good.
She did not love it.
Let me tell you, she didn't love it,
and for a while I didn't understand why.
And now I'm like, oh.
I associate that with like embalming fluid and anger.
Hey, my piano teacher is wonderful.
Well, that's great.
She was wonderful and gross.
And dead, legally.
It was a straight patchouly smell,
and I had no idea what that smelled like.
So I went up to her and I was like,
oh my God, you smell like my older piano teacher.
Okay, well, you added an adjoly.
to it.
God.
I know.
That's a really valid.
It has me thinking,
fresh laundry.
That's like,
especially bed sheets just put down.
That almost made the cut.
What's it called when you know that rain,
it's about to rain.
Petrocore.
Petrocore.
Or when it's,
I love that smell.
I love, like, that fresh rain smell.
Like foggy rain.
Also ocean, like an ocean breeze
if you like get to the,
that almost made the cut.
A tropical ocean breeze.
Yes.
We don't get it here.
California. No, we don't. Not really. You can be literally right next to the ocean and it does not necessarily smell like the ocean here.
Sometimes it does.
You'll see Monica Pier and you'll smell something. Oh, yeah. That's something different. You'll smell Amanda's piano teacher there.
Still cooking in the sun. Can I fire off two more really fast? Absolutely. Yeah. I want to get it through a silly one and a real one. Right. Yeah. Saw. Horror movie. Um, uh, favorite type of dust.
Stop it now. Blade.
Uh, uh, uh, uh,
movies with Leslie Snipes in it. He's not in Saw.
Favorite cutting tools.
You're probably on the right path.
Machete.
Yeah.
Favorite things to slice.
With.
With.
Thank you.
Favorite characters that are also a cutting thing.
That felt vague.
Well, because it's like saw as a character and blades a character
and machete as a character.
Yeah.
Crank.
Favorite movies?
With Jason Statham?
Favorite sharp movies.
Okay.
I can't handle you right now.
Also these types of things.
Bolt.
Yeah, these are all movies.
What if these are just happened to be your top five favorite movies?
So his is like too vague, right?
Yeah.
He's not going to win this round.
All right.
Okay.
Um, I think.
I think.
They're like thriller movies or...
Bolt is a Disney movie.
They're my favorite tools that I've purchased.
I don't know what you're talking about with all these movies.
You purchased a saw?
Yeah.
I've got multiple.
Damn.
Take a photo and send it to me.
I've got a circular saw.
I've got a jigsaw.
Whoa.
Jigsaw?
I don't think I own any saws.
I've got three.
You can steal one.
The hell yeah.
If you're fast enough.
Circular saw is intense.
Thanks.
It's for tools.
Whoa.
I just wanted to steer you.
you guys a little silly wrong.
Whoa, I was like on a totally...
It just happens to be five your favorite tools.
Those are like real, that's a real one.
I made it to sound like movies.
That was awesome.
Thanks. Machete?
Machete.
Of those five, what's your favorite movie of those?
Um, Saw.
Ew.
Over Blade?
Blade.
I haven't seen...
Blade Rocks.
Well, I haven't seen Bladen forever though.
I don't really remember.
Saw?
I, no thanks.
I don't want to rewatch those.
Even though I liked them, no.
I've never seen Crank.
I had someone tell me he's like, you should watch Crank.
Dude, that movie's amazing.
It also,
does not like it did not age well at all and I'm like you're
does he like have to have sex to keep up his adrenaline and he's just like I'm gonna
I'm gonna fuck everything inside I'm gonna have to fuck while I draw it's like I'm gonna have to fuck
you man to keep all my adrenaline shit to ever come out yeah yeah I don't I don't know about
any of those movies I've never seen it but I'm sorry but can't he can't do no wrong I love him
oh yeah he's the transporter um bolt I watched while I was uh at a dentist once oh shit I think
forever ago.
What?
Forever ago.
The Wonder Dog.
I think I would...
Did they have a sound on?
How long were you sitting there?
Where they put those glasses on,
you could watch a movie.
Oh yeah, they like peel your eyelids back
and they make you watch something
and then the guy from clock where orange pops out.
I think it was...
Can I throw out one more really quick one?
Yeah.
Cacapo?
You mean cockapoo?
Cacapo.
Okay, keep going.
Oh, God, what is this?
Takahe.
you know I'm gonna
I don't
I don't
the Kereru
these have got to be types of like
birds like
Birds in Japan
Victoria crowned pigeon
Okay
Birds
Favorite domestic
Birds not in America
Tarmogen
Birds that fly over the ocean
You're on the right track
I am or
Perching like birds that perch
Birds that perch
mate with one other bird.
Oh.
That's clever.
No, it's just very, my top five, like, very round birds.
Oh, are they all very round?
So big, big, little roundies.
Yeah, just a little round little birds.
Oh, see, I, like, went to a very smart place.
Yeah.
I know the, I'm not going to do that here.
What?
I'm not here to, like, flex and be like,
I know this thing about all these birds.
Oh, I am.
Do you have a favorite bird?
If you even have to think about it,
I don't know how we can talk anymore.
I like a heron a lot.
Wow.
Okay, good tip.
I also love a car.
Cardinal.
Nice.
Solid choices.
I'm a hummingbird bitch.
You know, I love that.
You know, I'm gonna be 95 staring at my hummingbird feeder,
waiting for the next one to get there.
Yeah, I'm gonna have a hat with a hummingbird feeder right here.
And I'm just gonna sit outside.
That's a heavy hat.
I saw some earrings the other day that were like,
it was a hummingbird with like a little clasp.
And so it's just like it's drinking out of your earlobe.
I didn't get it because that's kind of gross.
So my Vava is like, that's her favorite bird.
hummingbirds. So for my wedding, I got these hummingbird earrings. I genuinely love hummingbirds.
I love hummingbirds, too. They are such assholes to each other. They fight. I have a hummingbird
feeder on one of my windows right now. And every now and then a hummingbird will like fly up and get
closer, like, get close. And then you'll watch it and like two seconds go by. And he's trying to get
up there to like get some, some sugar. And then immediately another hummingbird will appear in the distance.
just like,
v, and it's like, oh, fuck, it
is like runs.
And they start chasing each other.
I'm like, damn, they don't give each other a break.
I told you not to come to 25th and Broadway.
They're like,
I told you if I saw you again, I'd kill you.
They're so intense.
I like, I saw one, like,
it kept running into my window
and I had to like figure out how to get at the stop.
And apparently it was seeing its reflection
and trying to fight it.
So I had to like turn off the lights inside.
But also the other day,
there's, I don't know, like a year ago.
It wasn't the other day.
I'm sorry for lying.
I saw a hummingbird outside.
And then when it flew away,
it flew all the way to the tippy top of a massive tree.
And I was like, obviously they fly.
And I guess that makes sense.
But I've never thought about them being higher than like, yay tall.
It's probably where their nests, their birds nest is.
I don't know, because I've seen birds nests like also yay tall just around.
But like watching it go that far up to a tree, I was just like, holy shit.
It is something.
You don't think about hummingbirds going high up in the air.
No, what's for them up there?
I wonder what's their max altitude?
I think they go pretty crazy because they also.
get to a point where they stop going after the bird feeders and they start like eating bugs in the air so that they can
Get protein cool and then like cross the fucking ocean. Oh, because it's like walking season. Yeah, yeah
Yeah, my mom knows a lot apparently there are some hummingbirds that can go 17,000 feet
17,000 feet bad ass that's crazy and they're gonna dive bomb one flower bad ass
That's crazy that's hey sometimes when you think you know that all there is to know about
hummingbirds?
Sometimes there's even more.
Okay.
I have, I want to end on one of mine, but you go.
I think it'll be funny for you.
I have a dumb one.
Two, one, three.
So you have to do five.
You're not going to get it off.
You're not going to, I know, but it's just three.
213?
Two, one three.
Your social security number.
Yeah.
I'm kidding.
Top five, or top three amounts of popcorn when you're grabbing popcorn out of a bowl.
Oh.
What?
Only two?
I don't know.
No, he's a hungry boy.
He grabs like 17.
Oh, okay.
Cookies before bet.
Yeah, the amount of Oreos.
How many cookies before bed?
Boles of cereal before bed.
Two?
Bitch, I know you're eating massive bowls of bed.
I just talked about eating ice cream.
You can do whatever you want, Shane.
Standing up, make it over the sink.
Eating ice cream, you'll have a cereal.
Oh, cocktails.
How many cocktails?
Cocktails on the weekend.
That's pretty nice.
Top five prime numbers.
What?
Okay.
One's not a prime number.
Okay, move on.
I don't know, what's the category?
My God.
It's typically the best in trilogies.
Two is always the best in a trilogy.
Followed by one, followed by three.
Three always kind of suck.
You're so right.
Two is always the best.
Return of the King.
Is that a high school musical, and I agree.
Return of the King.
But Two Towers is probably the best in Lord of the Rings.
I do love two towers.
Empire Strikes Back is the best in the original Star Wars.
It just typically, now that's not the case for the prequels of Star Wars.
Shrek 2.
Shrek 2.
Shrek 2 is so good.
Just in general, two, kind of always the number 1.
I like that.
March 2.
All right.
Damn, I have so, okay, that's funny.
Top responses to something that isn't funny.
Top 5 worst things to hear after you say a joke.
Oh.
Oh, God, I don't know what that is.
Not that fart again.
Top 5 things you don't want to hear your dog.
doctor say.
Is this
I don't know.
Tight butt.
Is this when
responses when your son farts?
No, it's adorable
when he farts.
Okay.
I don't ever go tight butt.
I don't know.
Just like, I don't know.
What?
This is you right now.
Oh,
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Okay, last one.
Aquifer in every pocket?
Things you've said to Shane on this podcast.
Things I'm thinking when Shane talks.
You've said these all out loud.
Well, because, yeah, Shane is all aquifer in like every jeans, right?
That's lore now?
I just discovered that.
It was on the episode that just came here.
Yes.
Boom.
Wow.
When Miles went, is it the tube or the tub?
And I got both, but this one happens to be tube.
Okay.
That's just a tough one.
Not tub, not tub.
I don't ever have a tub.
We can end on that one even though I have so many.
But we can do it again.
Well, we'll save those for next time.
Yeah.
Pretty cool.
Yeah.
This was the most fun I've ever had.
I'm so glad.
Oh, my goodness.
Top five times I've had fun.
Number one, this.
Number one this.
Wow.
Definitely top, you know, up there.
Anyway.
Yeah, it's pretty good you guys.
Remember?
That image, that's a core memory.
Damien, we love you.
Thank you so much for being on the new set.
We missed you.
And thanks for sharing your top fives.
Hey, my absolute pleasure.
Yeah.
Shane, where can people find?
Yeah, chocolate ice cream eating boy.
On YouTube.
Chocolate ice cream villain eating boy.
That's going to be my new YouTube channel where I just eat chocolate ice cream.
I don't talk.
And here I go again.
So this is a fettish thing, right?
Yeah, here I go again.
This is the dark, dark chocolate.
Billing one.
Okay.
Bye everybody.
Bye.
