Smosh Mouth - #153 - Trevor's Pirate Obsession

Episode Date: July 20, 2026

Ahoy mateys! It's Captain Trevor Evarts birthday week, sing him a jolly sea shanty! Shopify: Your landlord has a small business. Your ex has a small business. What are you waiting for? Start free at https://shopify.com/smosh. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at https://RocketMoney.com/SMOSHMOUTH.0:00 Intro5:13 Preface to Piracy11:17 Sponsor!12:34 History of pirates and their roles27:18 The Golden Age of Piracy32:18 Sponsor!33:51 Women in piracy & Black Sails45:30 Trevor's favorite pirate(s)!53:28 Rum, plundering ships, being a pirate1:06:38 Favorite historical eras SUBSCRIBE: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshCastWEAR OUR JOKES: https://smosh.com WHO YOU HEARShayne Topp // https://www.instagram.com/shaynetopp/Amanda Lehan-Canto // https://www.instagram.com/filmingamanda/Trevor Evarts // https://www.instagram.com/trevorevarts/WHO YOU DON’T HEAR (usually)Director: Selina GarciaEditor: Kristen O'HareProducer: Amanda Lehan-Canto, Shayne Topp, Selina GarciaPodcasts Producer: Selina GarciaProduction Designer: Cassie VanceArt Director: Adrian Sheen, Erin Kuschner, Josie BellerbyAssistant Art Director: Courtney ChapmanProp Master: Abigail Schmidt, Bridgette BaronStage Manager: Alex AguilarProp Assist: Lunora ReyesDirector of Audio: Scott NeffAudio Mixer: Matt TaylorAudio Utility: Dina RamliDirector of Photography: Eric Wann, Brennan IketaniVideographer: Eric Wann, James HullCamera Operator: Elaine Pusey, Macy ArmstrongAssistant Director: Jonathan Hyon, Cameron MitchellExecutive Vice President of Production: Amanda BarnesDirector of Production: Alexcina FigueroaProduction Manager: Tyler M. Kennedy, Jonathan HyonProduction Coordinator: Oliver Wehlander, Zianne HooverProduction Assistant: Caroline Smith, Tyrelle AnthonyDirector of Post Production: Luke BakerDIT/Lead AE: Matt DuranDIT/AE: Beni KimuenePost Production Coordinator: Ariana MartinezDirector of IT: Tim BakerIT & Equipment Coordinator: Lopati Ho CheeSound Editor: Gareth HirdDirector of Design: Ness CardanoSenior Motion & Branding Designer: Christie HauckSenior Graphic Designer: Jay TaylorGraphic Designer: Monica RavitchDirector of Channel Operations: Lizzy JonesChannel Operations Manager: Audrey CarganillaChannel Operations Coordinator: Sabrina LiebermanSocial Media Associate Producer: Peter DitzlerSocial Media Manager: Kim WilbornSocial Media Coordinator: Margaux BernalesSocial Editor: Vida RobbinsMerchandising Manager: Mallory MyersBrand Partnership Manager: Chloe MaysBrand Partnerships Coordinating Producer: Liz KummerOperations Manager: Marshall A. PeaseOperations Coordinator: Sara FaltersackFinancial Operations Specialist: Natalie LewisTalent Coordinator: Danielle MosesPeople & Culture Manager: Katie FinkPeople & Culture Coordinator: Hannah MerrittCEO: Alessandra CataneseExecutive Producers: Anthony Padilla, Ian HecoxCCO: Cory MidgardenEVP of Programming & Development: Kiana ParkerProducer, Special Projects: Rachel CollisExecutive Coordinator: Katelyn HempsteadExecutive Assistant: Jackie ReillyOTHER SMOSHES:Smosh: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshSmosh Pit: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshPitSmosh Games: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshGamesSmosh Alike: https://bit.ly/SubToSmoshAlikeFOLLOW US:TikTok: https://smo.sh/TikTokInstagram: https://instagram.com/smoshFacebook: https://facebook.com/smosh

Ahoy, welcome to Smoshmouth. I'm Shane. I'm matey. I'm Amanda. And we have a very special weary traveler on our ship with us. Today, his name is Trevor Evers. Erg, what do you mean, weary traveler? I be the captain of this ship. What? You have the most SpongeBob pirate voice. You are not the captain. That's crazy. Spongebobbby. Me boy. Aye, that's the captain there.

So what am I? The whore? Whoa. Whoa. No. Hey, don't act like it's not happening on these ships. If a woman is brought on these ships, what's happening there? She's not a captain. I wish. There are a couple very famous female pirates, though, to be fair.

That's true, and that's me. And that's you. Was once a four, now a famous pirate. Is that? I decided. I make my own resume. That's your lore. Look at this.

I have a sword. You have a hat. You have an eye patch. Yeah, for our audio listeners, we're pirates. Yeah. Oh yeah. Fully decked out. If you guys didn't get that, we are pirates.

It is the week of Trevor's birthday. Yay! And because of that, and we've had this plan for like a year now, I feel like talking about this. You wanted to talk pirates. Yeah, well, I think one of the episodes that came on and we just kind of accidentally started nerding out about it a little bit. Yeah. I was like, guys, I really like pirates. We were like, whoa.

And then thankfully, you know, Selina was like, well, do you want to come on and like have a dedicated episode to nerd out? So now I get to talk about pirates for, like, four hours, I think, slated for this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We have the whole day. Happy birthday forever. We're doing this one a bit like a Joe Rogan experience where we just go for six hours. And that's the only way it's going to be like a Joe Rogan experience. That is the only way.

Just how long it is. That is like that. All our ad reads are for supplements. Yeah. A gas station rhino pill. Thank you for the sponsorship. Yeah, when did you first start loving pirates? When you were a kid or an adult?

I think when I was a kid, I really love pirates. I love the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. Sorry, hold on. Blessie! I am the blessed. May you be blessed. Thank you. No, yeah.

Because you grew up in Idaho. Yeah. So you were nowhere near the ocean. Nowhere near the ocean. You're like, fuck. No, I mean, like, the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, like, I think I was very, like, Target. like A, like growing up, I love those movies.

Up at Treasure Island, of course. Treasure Island, one of my favorite books. Probably my favorite book of all time. Really? Yeah, I love it. And I know for a lot of people, they read it, and it's like, that's kind of a tough read. Like, it is a, the book is very, I mean, it's old. Why is it a tough read?

I can't remember it. Just old, they're just slower. Yeah. And it's also, like, the old, like, Robert Lewstein, Stevens, very committed to, like, using, like, pirate, like, tongue and, making it very, like, authentic. And so, like, a lot of the dialogue is just, like, wow, it's hard to understand. One time, actually, I was reading that book, and I was, like, reading it to Raven before we

we'd go to sleep at night. I was, like, reading it in bed. And then I literally was getting to the dialogue. You were reading it by Candlelight? Yeah. And then I was like, maybe I should have picked a different book because I'm getting to the pirate dialogue and it's, like, you know, 11 at night. And, like, we're, like, about to sleep.

And I'm like, are you salty bastard? She's just like, please stop. Please. Pick a different book. I've read plenty of books from that era, but it can be tough. Yeah. Like, I remember trying to read Moby Dick and stuff, and I'm just like, man. Moby Dick was a tough, you can read it in school.

Moby Dick is like, yeah, okay, as far as, like, books go, Moby Dick is a thousand times tougher of a read than, like, Treasure Island. It is like a children's book. Yeah. I read a thousand leagues under the sea. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, it's cool, it's cool to be like, whoa, this was insane for the time that it was written.

Yeah. But it's still just like what they find exciting is a different plot. Yeah. Like it's not going to have the same twists and turns and character arcs that we're used to. It's actually crazy. Like Tricia Island, okay, I'm going to take off the eye pitch. What? It's crazy.

Your eye works? Yeah, I know. Actually, if you turn the lights off, I could probably see really good out of this eye. because that's what you know how people do that where like if you're about to go into a dark place or you can never know an eye. Isn't that I've heard that lore about pirates that they wore an eye patch

even though they weren't missing an eye so that when they went under deck they could take that off and they were adjusted to the darkness. I actually haven't heard that but that would make a lot of sense. You just make that up? I didn't make it up but I think I read something online where someone else had made it up. Oh, okay.

I wrote it out in a post. This is the Reddit stories? But it sounds, it makes sense to me. Or do they wear it to be like, I'm a badass. Don't mess with me. I'm so comfortable. Well, they did do a lot of intimidation. Yeah. Selina thinks maybe it's when you look through the spyglass. Why would they have the eyepatch to look through? You know, you know, it's hard to like do this. So instead of doing this, they would just quickly go right to it. Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That makes sense. All right.

It's a multifunctional tool. So pirates, can we give a little bit of a preface of like piracy and the age of piracy? Yeah. So, very good. I'm happy to give an overview. It's so tough because I think that I really could just talk for so long. So feel free to ask questions or steer me in any direction. We'll steer you. Basically, the golden age of piracy was from about like 1650 to 1730. Very short, 80 years. Very short, very short. Yeah. Well, it was really like, it overlapped greatly with the period of like expansion into the new world. So that's like kind of, because the first era of the golden age of piracy, it's like split into three eras. And the first era was from

1650 into like the early 1700s and it's called the buccaneering era and so Spain Spain was very they were early arrivers to the new world they were in on it early the market was bullish on

the new world and colonization and the other European nations were like we want to get in on that but a navy is very expensive and also the golden age of piracy overlapped with what was called the age of sail. And so the age of sail is basically when like masted ships became the primary method of travel

and commerce and also like warfare. So all of these nations were like working on their navies very heavily. But I mean... Still in the buccaneer era. Yeah, yeah, the buccaneering area. So there were what were called privateers. And basically, I mean, the journey across the Atlantic Ocean was really long. And it was very hard to like coordinate a navy.

and very expensive. And so these nations, what they took to doing instead, was giving pirates what was called a letter of mark. And essentially, it would be like the king of England would be like, hey, here's a letter of Mark.

We're going to allow you to do piracy. We won't hunt your ships. You can dock in our ports as long as you only attack ships from other nations. So don't attack any English ships. Go have your way with Spanish, like whoever.

And a lot of the nation, like a lot of European nations, were at war with Spain at this time. But would they, would they, would the king want some of the, you know, the booty? The booty that they take from these ships? Yeah, so they would take a percentage of whatever they planted. But yeah, I mean, for pirates, it was a pretty sweet deal because it's like they could, you know, legally unload their goods and the king would take a percentage, but they could

kind of just get up to their activities. Do whatever they wanted to do. And it was a way for other European nations to kind of disrupt Spain's, like, chokehold on the new world. because Spain had a lot of like roots for trade they basically yeah they dominated that yeah they just got there very early

they were getting there very early and kind of getting like first dibs on what were they trading well there were a lot of like things in new world like tobacco was a big one honestly a lot of the Spanish they were just I mean they were just killing you know indigenous populations and a lot

of like what they were getting from like South America was gold. Like they were just like Spanish treasure galleons. They were just, like the governments were effectively pirates. Like everybody was pirates. Yeah. Like everybody's stealing, but you're stealing from people who are stealing. Right.

Yeah. So pirates were actually cool because they're like, we wear our name proudly. We're pirates. There is a moral argument for the fact. Because like obviously pirates, you know, are painted as like, oh, they're the bad guys. They're attacking people. But like the English and the Spanish and the French, they were coming over and they were just killing people. And they were bringing disease like Nassau actually, which was a very big

pirate hub on New Providence Island, which is now the Bahamas. When Spain first arrived there, they just either enslaved or killed the entire indigenous population of like New Providence Island. They brought disease and then the people that didn't die to disease, they sold the slaves and used to, you know, farm plantations and sugar cane and things. So like all of the colonizers were really terrible people. And not to say that pirates didn't also get up to their fair share of terrible things. I love pirates, but I also feel like every time I talk about it, I preface like, there were a lot of pirates that did very bad things. Notties. Totally. I mean, like, Sir Francis Drake is one of the most famous, like, explorers of all time. He was operating heavily, like, during the buccaneering era.

And he was just a slaver. Like, he just bought and sold slaves as well. And so, like, a lot of these people that are renowned, I mean, he was the second guy to circumnavigate the world. And old and like he's this very renowned explorer but he's just but also a bad dude they they call themselves privateers not pirates correct privateers or buccaneers um and that was really only if you had like a letter of mark then you were a privateer um and so yeah during this period like of all these nations being at war with spain um privateers are just kind of going at it they were plundering ships and creating little like colonies and you know bringing like england would send over governors like they took over New Providence Island.

But they were kind of just having their way over in the Spanish main. Did the Spanish have privateers and buccaneers of their own? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it was kind of like almost like a mini war happening. Exactly. It was like it was very, it was a lot easier for them to just send people out to be like fight each other.

And because I mean. Yeah, of course. They do their dirty work. Yeah. They were just trying to disrupt Spain and take their stuff and the gold that they were plundering and all that. And so that was the buccaneering era. That's the 1500s.

That's like 1650 right into late, or early 1700s. Would Spanish privateers be called privateers? Yeah. I mean, they probably had another name for it, but that's kind of like overall. L. privateers. Yeah, L privateers. So nobody ever referred to themselves as a pirate? No, I think not at that time.

Okay, okay. But. So Pirates of the Caribbean, it's like, nobody's going to say you're a pirate. Well, you never know. Yeah. Our security is so true. It's a true story.

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Amanda, you made the sound. I know, I have the power. Wow. Feels really good. Doesn't it feel so good? Watch. Oh. I went too hard.

I got greedy. It's okay. You'll have your chance again. Thanks. Back to the show. Back to the show. Well, so a lot of the modern media that you see in the parts of pirate history that are very romanticized is actually in what's called the post-Spanish succession period.

So the war of Spanish accession ended, and then there was kind of like a peace time. So in peacetime, all these privateers now just defaulted back to being pirates. Like once the letters of Mark, like, we're no longer a war. So the English are like, well, don't attack Spanish ships. And now they're just pirates again. So they don't have a letter of Mark. They're kind of free reign of the seas. Yeah, yeah.

And so the post-Spanish concession is when you see a lot of like the very famous. pirates, that's when they were operating. So, like, your blackbeards, you know, your calico Jack, your Ann Bonnie and your Mary Reed, all these very, a lot of the very famous pirates. Bonnie and Mary Reid are the famous female pirates. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that was from, it was a very short period of time. That was like 1710.

Okay. And don't, they didn't do it for that long. They weren't around. Five days. Then they threw them overboard. It was. It was a very short period, but it was a very, that's when, like, a lot of the crazy exploits were happening.

In this area where there was no letters of Mark. Yeah. And then in between the privatearian area and the post-Spanish recession, was called the Pirate Round Period. So that was also pretty short. Rounding up all the pirates? Yeah, exactly. They were rounding each other up.

No. It was named that because one of the major trade routes actually from England over into the Mughal Empire. So what is now like modern day India. the British East India Company. Pirates would sail from England down around the coast of Africa, up to Madagascar, and into the Indian Ocean. And that was a very popular place for pirates to operate.

So plundering like British trade ships that were bringing spices over from India and like Mughal treasure ships. So that was a very profitable. A lot of the most profitable pirates were operating in the pirate round. And it was just called that. In the Indian Ocean. Yeah, because you would just sail down around the Cape of the Cape of Good Hope in the south. And what ships were they rob? They were robbing East India Company.

Yeah, a lot of British ships were there. And I mean, there were Spanish ships as well, like just trading with India. But then, yeah, the Mughal Empire was kind of the, it was like an Islamic empire that was very powerful and very wealthy. and it was basically what is now like a lot of modern day India in Bangladesh was kind of the big area. When you say treasure ships, are you talking ships full of gold? Yeah, I'm talking trips full of just like jewels, gold, all that stuff. Why were they, what were they doing?

Were they bringing it over somewhere? Yeah. Just trading. That era's equivalent of like an armored bank truck. It's like we got to move this cash or this. Exactly. These good somehow in the fastest ways by ship. Exactly.

Because you can't like on land, that's, you're probably more vulnerable on land. Yeah, on land, there's, I mean, there's still like highway men and things in the journeys like a lot longer. You could get places so much faster by ship. And the Mughal Empire was very, like, they're responsible for building like the Taj Mahal. So it was like a lot of art. Like, they had just a ton of wealth. And so that was the pirate round period.

And a very famous pirate rounder was Henry Every, who was known as the king of the pirates. and he's very famous for plundering the emperor of Mughal, his personal treasure ship. He stole it and estimated, I think, at the time, like 600,000 British pounds, which the calculation is something like... Back in the day is massive. Yeah, I mean, the calculation, it's like over like $200 million. Like, I think it's somewhere between like $150 million. That's crazy. And he didn't have to give any of it to...

anybody else other than his his crew yeah correct he he made off with it i think something that makes like historical eras fascinating to read about is compared to modern day where like the scope of like the amount of power that governments have now with like technology yeah is so immense that back then though it's like if you and a few like enough guys had a ship yeah it's like you can take on the anything, kind of. Like, I know your chances you're going to die, but like... Probably not.

I feel like... The thought of like something of that equivalent happening nowadays just seems so impossible. Yeah. Yeah. Because there's no private group of people that can take on like... Yeah. Right.

A nation's most powerful device or ship. You know, it's like not possible. You take someone's ship and it could take weeks for whoever owns the ship to find out about. To find out. And then they're already gone. And also, I don't think the people on the people on their ship are fully equipped to handle a group of privateers. Because what are they coming on the ship with? Do they have weapons, like a bunch of weapons?

Yeah. So a lot of pirate warfare is basically, you have like your broadside cannons. And when ships would fight, usually they would come up alongside each other and they would fire the broadsides. And then the whole point was like you kind of wanted to make the ship weak enough to then get on and board it. So once you were close enough, you would throw out the hooks, pull the ship in, and then, you know, throw across the gangplanks. And then you would take everything on that ship back to your ship. Well, you would fight, you know, guns and swords, take over the ship. And sometimes you would.

Sometimes pirates would just take what they could carry. Sometimes they would take the ship with them if they could toast. I was going to say, because like a certain amount of weight at a certain point. Yeah. Because gold is heavy. It's really heavy. So all the people on the ship. either got tossed off, killed, or held.

Yeah. Prisoner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that was another thing is, like, when they would take, a lot of pirates would offer, like, survivors. Some people would just kill everyone, but. Offer survivors. Yeah, like, once a ship, like, once, it was very common for, like, once you knew the pirates,

like, took control of your ship or whatever. A lot of people would just surrender outright. So, like, if it was, like, a merchant ship, they'd be, like, we don't want to fight, like, take whatever you want and just, like, please let us live. Yeah. Some pirates would honor that. Some pirates would take the ship. Sometimes it would be like, well, whoever wants to join our crew can and we're going to kill the rest.

Did Henry Evers, was he a kind one? I mean, it's tough to say exactly how kind one pirate or another was. But honestly, I don't know. I don't know if there's much specifics. Would you be a kind pirate, Trevor? I like to think I would. I like to think I would be nasty I'd be dead

I would be dead I would be dead Oh wait you would be the one who was like The top commander Guarding the Gold and you would Fight to the Death to To guard the gold is that No I'm saying I'd probably die of some disease

Week 1 You're like yeah I'm on the ship I'd just fucking die A cannon would misfire and I'd explode I'd just stand on the ship and fall Like you have to wonder what's the like typical survival rate of a pirate. Like pretty bad.

It's got to be atrocious. I think it's low because you can get really, really sick. It's also insane to think about how many shipwrecks there are in the world. Like if you went out on a wooden ship back in the day, it's like you're going to die. Yeah. No, it was like you were just, it was a coin flip on whether or not you were going to live or die. People would just get, you would get killed boarding. You'd get trapped out in some doldrums, sickness.

Sickness. But just like the ocean is just a cruel. mistress. Yeah. Oh my God. No, there were literally no, but like storms.

Like you, you sail the wrong day and it's just your ship is broken apart. Yeah. Like, you think about how fucked up ships are nowadays. Yeah.

And then you think about one with no electricity or plumbing. People are still getting sick on cruises. Yeah. You're wiping people out, left and right. Storms are dangerous, but then, I mean,

in when all you have to propel you is wind and sails, you, people would, like, pirates could get trapped out indulgems and they could just be sitting like literally the ship not moving and still water for weeks and people just starve.

And yeah. So they're obviously, they need to dock obviously to get water and everything. Is their ship like commonly known as like, oh, that's a pirate ship. You know how pirates of the Caribbean? Look at this ship. See? It's got the skull on it. Yeah.

Like. Because they would have pirate flags. Yeah. So usually when you would, that would, like you wouldn't be flying, you know, the black flag. the entire time you were sailing, like generally speaking, you would want to be a little bit more incognito, and then once you were about to attack a ship,

like if they were like, okay, there's a prize. They're like, peace and love, everybody. It's just a rainbow flag. All you love. They're like, that's going to mean something someday. Yeah. But for now it's refracted light. And they're like, not even that.

That hasn't even invented yet. Okay. Okay, so... That's hilarious. Okay, so you have the rounders, and then we go to the peacetime. Yeah, so the post-Spanish succession, peacetime, all the pirates are now, they're just pirates. And for a lot of them, it was very, like, it was more desirable than just joining a Navy. Because, funny enough for how bad the conditions were being a sailor, pirates were actually, like, very democratic.

and like the pirate code was a real thing. The very early iterations of it, it's attributed to like multiple different people. Henry Every had a pirate code, but the most like complete pirate code that we have access to is Bartholomey Roberts, who was a very famous pirate captain in the post-Spanish succession period. And there were some really good, like,

it was a very, some of the like very like highlighted points in it were the payment system on pirate ships was very like pretty even so the captain and the quartermaster would get two shares um the like gunner uh and the boatsin would the like master gunner and the boatsin would get like the bosun uh the bosun is essentially like sort of like third like right hand man to the quartermaster okay um quartermaster and he the bosun like kind of he he's he's he's he's spoke for like a lot of the crew. He was kind of like a representative almost.

But more of a manager or like they're all doing, everybody has physical tasks. Yeah. He's like a talent manager. Yeah. And so they would get a share of half. They have HR. Sounds like the bosun is kind of HR maybe.

Well like kind of like the quartermaster and the boatswain were because the captain had like complete control in like situations of battle. But outside of that, the quartermaster is really in charge of like holding votes and paying out share. and like bringing issues to the captain. And if the crew didn't like the captain and didn't think that he was doing a good job, they could put it to a vote. And the crew would vote on whether or not they wanted a new captain.

And that was completely fine. That's not like the captain wouldn't be like, I'm going to kill you for doing that. Yeah. I mean, if the captain was a bad person, but if, you know, he's not out of a person. But overall, the captain could get demoted to quartermaster. What? So the captain's just like washing the deck the next one day? The captain could get demoted.

he could become a regular crew member. A lot of times if the captain did get voted out, he's probably being really awful, and they would, like, maroon him. Sometimes they would just straight up kill the captain. Jack Sparrow. A full mutiny. Yeah, a full mutiny.

Would it be called a mutiny if they just voted him out, or is that kind of a different thing? I don't actually know, like, technically, what would qualify as a mutiny? I think a mutiny is like you're going against him and you maroon them on an island or something. A mutiny, I think more so is like something done in secret and without like not putting it to a vote.

It's like a group of people to rise up and just kill the captain without like voting on it. Without working as a like full team. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would suck to be marooned on an island. I think about that often. I think it'd probably be better to get shot than get marooned because definitely in my head

as a kid I definitely romanticized like just islands and stuff because I would go to Key West. We'd go to Key West in the summer and like we'd just be out in the ocean. I'm just like this is amazing. And I would be like I could survive on a stranded island. It's like, no, you're going to die. You're just going to die a slow death. What?

No way. It's going to be hot. You're going to get dehydrated. You're going to meet people. So tough. You're going to meet people. It's a deserted island. You're going to live there like Blue Lagoon.

Your hair's going to get so long. You're going to get so tan. Hell no. This isn't cast away. Yeah, but the pirate. I mean, there were a lot of other really like, there was like workers comp. Like there was. What if you.

In Bartholomew Roberts, it's like pirate coat. You got a pig leg. Yeah. If you like lost an arm or a limb like during battle or working on the ship. Yeah. they pay out like 800 like pieces of eight to be like hey you lost a leg in battle like we're gonna pay you out money um and then they would pay like less if like the injury was like more minor or whatever but and none of these men have like a home with families um or some do generally

speaking i think it was less likely i think forever life i think yeah i think some people did have like you know there there might have been some like pirate captains that would like settle down or have families or whatever. But I think it was not very common. Yeah, you'd never see that. Yeah, you're gone like all year round. Like, how much time are they even spending on land ever? I mean, not a lot.

Most land wasn't safe for them. Right. That's what I was thinking. Yeah, they were very few. So like, like I said, like NASA was a big, like pirate hub. Port Royal was a big pirate hub. Madagascar actually was a very, so quiet hub. You really only hear about the Caribbean.

You don't hear much about like the world. So it was a very worldwide. phenomenon for this 80 years. Yeah, yeah. I mean, Ching Shi was a Chinese pirate and she commanded like the largest pirate fleet in history. Whoa.

And how many ships do you know? Oh my gosh. And is this of the same era? This is a different era. This is like not, yeah, this is not. I actually Selena might fact check me here on like what year she operated. I don't believe it was during like the golden age.

But it was like... When is the golden age? 1750 to 1730. So the peace age, the peace age, the space age, the Spanish peace age and then it's the golden age? No, so the post-Spanish accession period was like basically the end, right at the end of piracy. Because once the nations were no longer at war, then that freed up everyone's attention to be like, oh, the pirates are kind of a problem.

They're like, we've been using them, like as privateers. We've been like taking advantage of them existing. But now that everyone's at peace and everything in like the new world is kind of settled, it's like, okay, now we should probably deal with these people that are just killing merchants and taking all of our like ships and stuff. So the golden age was before that. Yeah, yeah, the post-Spanish accession was right at the end. But it's also the most romanticized. It's what you see in media a lot is the golden age of piracy.

Why is it so romanticized? I think it's just those are the very famous pirates. It's when you have like a lot of the like exploits of like blackbeard and a lot of like, you know, people being chased. Woods Rogers was sent in to be the governor of Nassau, and he was basically like the scourge of the pirates. So right in this period, once there was like kind of peacetime, England offered like a blanket pardon.

They were like, if you like come in, like we'll pardon you for all of your pirate deeds. Whoa. Let you off scot-free as long as you just promise not to be a pirate again. And so a lot of for a lot of pirates that have just been, They were like, yeah, I'll take whatever money I have and try and go live like a normal life. Whoa. But then there were also a lot of pirates that, you know, they fought to the bitter end. Yeah.

They could never. And that's like a lot of the more, you know, famous, like Bartholomew Roberts, he was at it right until the end. He, I believe, has the historically the most ships ever, like, captured by a single pirate. I think he captured something like over 400 ships. Oh my God. Yeah, and his time is a pirate. And what's crazy is a lot of these post-Spanish succession pirates, they were only operating for like a few years.

They just were going hard. They were going hard. I think Blackbeard literally only like was a pirate like and was actually out sailing for like two years. Could you imagine you have a job for two years and you're a legend forever? Yeah. I mean, basically we already did it. I mean, we're legends forever, the three of us.

Yeah, for this one episode. It makes sense, though, because you think about two years on a ship nonstop. Yeah. You can only go for so long before you potentially, like, die. Yeah. So. And it was tough, too, because then after the pardons, then Woods Rogers employed a lot of former pirates as pirate hunters. So, like, Captain Benjamin Hornigold was a very famous pirate.

And he became, like, he started working with Woods Rogers. and started hunting pirates. And so it was kind of this very cannibalistic thing at the end where it's like, okay, you can either remain a pirate or you can stop being a pirate or you can just start go hunting down the people you used to like be friends with. That's kind of fun.

Historically, there is an argument to be paid. A lot of historians that have studied pirates, they do believe that if the pirates in the post-Spanish succession period and in this very tumultuous time in the new world, had any sort of leadership and any ability to work together and just not be generally stupid that there could have been a legitimate pirate empire created in the new world. I mean, sure.

In the Caribbean, like the English really, if all the pirates had worked together, they wouldn't have had the power to, like, overcome the threat of pirates as quickly as they did. Well, there are modern pirates right now. Yeah. Well, pirates have been an ongoing. There's never a time there.

They haven't existed. Since commerce has existed, there have been, you know, highway men and bandits and pirates. Like, anytime there's been merchant goods to be plundered, there have been people to plunder them. I remember reading a book on Cleopatra, and in like one of her battles with one of her siblings, I think, she was like, she enlisted a bunch of pirates to, like, fight in her army. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Epic book. Ancient, like, but like ancient pirates are a very real thing.

like pirates are, yeah, and pirates still, anyone, it's just a term for people who are committing crimes on the ocean. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's really all it is. There were a lot of pirates in the Mediterranean, so like off the coast of North Africa, they were called the Barbary Corsairs was a very famous group of pirates. But yeah, I mean, we, again, like the very big and well-known ones were all kind of operating in the, in the Caribbean.

But there were pirates, yeah, all over the world. This episode of Smoshmouth is sponsored by Rocket Money. Shane, how did pirates do it? How did they keep track of all their de blooms and booty without the help of Rocket Money? Oh, I don't know. I'd be lost at sea if it wasn't for my Rocket Money dashboard. You're so right. Rocket Money is the perfect finance app for monitoring everything from my bills to my subscriptions.

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I use Rocket Money to tag and categorize all my transactions. Like, my most frequent transactions are food and dining out. So with Rocket Money, I can track it all with ease. Pirates probably need categories like, I don't know, eye patches and parrot food categories. Oh, of course, totally. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster.

Join at RocketMoney.com slash Smoshmouth. That's rocketmoney.com slash smoshmouth. Rocketmoney.com slash smoshmouth. Back to the show. That scared me. Sorry, I know pirates are scary. That was wild. I know.

It just came through me. Good for you, buddy. Thanks. Talk to me about this female pirate that you mentioned earlier. And... No. Oh, Ching-Chi? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, how many ships was it? Did you get the number? Yes. So she operated from 1801 to 1810, so after her. Oh, 1800s. Yeah. And she was the leader of... Where was it?

Approximately 400 junks and between 40,000 to 70,000 pirates. Yeah. But wait, 40,000 pirates. 40,000 pirates under one person's command. Yeah. What? Correct. She must have been awesome.

Yeah, she was. She actually, so she, like, basically took over the pirate fleet from, like, her husband. Her husband was, like, a pirate captain. And then he died, and she took command and just, like, made, like, yeah, one of the greatest pirate fleets of all time and operated. And basically, I mean, for what it was is probably the closest thing to, like, a pirate-like, empire that you could have. I mean, there was like she was basically operating unchallenged in like, you know, the Indian Ocean and South China. How many ships? How do they communicate with each other? Um, I mean, that big of a fleet. Yeah, for that big of fleet, she probably just had a lot of like

generals and captains and like had like, I would imagine like kind of hubs of command and stuff. It's kind of incredible that they, you know, sailed across the seas with no real way to communicate other than hoping to meet up. Yeah. No, it's crazy. Like people, you could just be like, hey, man, I'm going out to, like, catch a prize. Like, I'll catch you on the flip side and then your buddy just never comes back. He's just gone forever. Is that crazy that's how things kind of worked until, like, relatively recently?

Yeah. It's crazy. Like up until, like, when we were teenagers and it was like, all right, I'm going out. It's like there's no way to contact me until I find a phone. I had no way. But like really back then, it was like, well, if you write, great, we'll find out. I was listening to a thing about Alexander the Great, and his dad was murdered at like a wedding, right? Philip II.

And it was like a crazy like Game of Thrones type of thing where he was like stabbed in the middle of the celebration. And it was like, oh, you know, Persia was really nervous about this guy because like Greeks and Macedonia and. and Persia. And it was like, well, they're going to get word about it like months later. Yeah. But it was even crazy because there's a part where like in another city nearby, the like leader of that city had a messenger who was able to get to him in time to tell him like he's been killed.

Yeah. And then he gives a speech to his town of like, I prophesize that a great death is going to happen. Yeah. And then is able to be like, oh, because I have this info before anybody else does, I can make it look like I'm pretty. predicting this is about to happen. Yeah.

And then news officially arrives. Whoa. Because it takes months for like the world to find out about like massive things. It's so crazy. Like you think about like if like when JFK was assassinated, if it took like a month for everyone to find out about it. But it did. Well, no.

But I'm saying I'm saying imagine if like that's how things were. It's like, oh, did you hear the president got shot two months ago? It's like, oh my God, what? Like. Could you imagine if like you had a family and your. Your partner went off sailing. Years. Like, where's Greg?

Well, he went off sailing and he's been... He's doing his whole pirate thing. He hasn't been back. Doing this pirate thing. I slept with the neighbor. You know, he had a letter of Mark at one point, but now he doesn't. And he's still doing it.

I told him to get an apprenticeship with the blacksmith, but he just didn't want to do it. He wanted to go be a pirate. I told him get a stable job. Maybe join, if you want to be at sea, join a merchant ship. He wants to hang out with its friends 24-7. What am I supposed to do?

He wanted to go hang out with Charles Vane, the cool kid on the block. Carl's Vane. I think Pirates just had the best branding in history. Like, the names are cool. The look is cool. I know a lot of it's been polished up over time. Like, I know they probably didn't look and sound like what we know them as. It's so colorful and so, like, vibrant in how it's portrayed.

But I'm like, I know it was all dirty and shitty. Yeah. Oh, shit. We're all covered in shit. It was probably the grossest shit ever. But there is actually a lot of like, there were pirates that were very like gaudy. I mean, uh, very Jack Rackham is a very famous pirate.

Body meaning like covered in jewels and things. Yeah. Oh, well, sure. His nickname is called calico jack. Oh, yeah, yeah. Calico Jack. Yeah, but heard of that. Because of just all the crazy clothes he wore.

Like he just wore really beautiful, like colorful clothing, like big coats, like Gucci Slice. Yeah. Bro got the Gucci flip-lops on. This guy's gonna die. He's wearing Gucci slides on a ship. Did he have like, was he like draped in like linen like tapestry? Velvet, that would be so hot. Big capes and cloaks, big plumed hats.

Like that was what like lots of jewelry. They say that pirates, like a lot of pirates wore like a lot of expensive like gold jewelry and bangles. So if they died at sea and their bodies washed up on shore, whoever found them would like have like money to give them like a proper. or burial. They would, they would like, what a crazy reason to wear expensive jewelry. They would, like, etch their names into, like, pieces of the jewelry that they wore so that, like, if someone washed up, they'd be like, I want to be, like, this is where I'm from or where I want

to be buried. And they would have money to do it. Side note, I really want, like, really, really, like, two pairs of nice jewelry that I can etch that I can, like, pass on. Yeah. I've always thought about that, like, engraving really nice pieces of jewelry that I can pass on forever and ever. Yeah.

What did you engrave? Where are you going to engrave on it? Should do something funny. Bitch. Bid. Sluddy woman. Well, we found this skeleton. There's a necklace here.

It just says bitch on it. Tall bitch. I know who that is. The most famous pirate, tall bitch. It says bury this tall bitch in Portugal? Barry this tall bitch in Portugal. Okay. I guess.

Have a feast. I don't know. I just always thought about like engraving my name on really nice pieces. of jewelry and passing it on and on. That's awesome. You would have an heirloom. Yeah, an heirloom. You might be a pirate.

I mean, I'm obsessed with this. So you told me to read the Amina book, Amina El Sarafi. Oh, yeah, that book is awesome. I love that book. It's about a female pirate. And the second book just came out of hers. Yes, I have it. She wrote it years later, Tapestry of Fate.

I'm going to read it. But, like, that book is all about a female pirate who's retired and has to go back and save her daughter. And I was like, damn. Yeah. It's cool, it falls in the fantasy of like... It's really fun. Because that's more...

It's pirate fantasy, but what ocean is that? It's more like Mediterranean. Yeah. Gorgeous colors and foods and... I love like pirate and just like ocean as a setting. Yeah. Right? Like it's such a fun... Like I know it's nowhere realistic, but Pirates of the Caribbean is just so fun.

Like there's something so... Because the ocean is so mysterious. Yeah. So people who are operating there, I think that's what makes. makes it fun is that like there's skirmishes and battles happening out on the ocean, but they are all so outmatched by the environment they're in. And that makes it so fun. They're at the whim of that.

They're like, we can only go if the wind permits it. We're only afloat if the ocean allows us to. Like that makes it so fun. Yeah. No, I love pirate media. Amanda and I will, did we talk about this on the show? Maybe brought it up, but Black Sales. Yep.

The Pirate Show. I watched, I don't think I finished Black Sails, but I watched a lot of it. It's so good. And you love that show. It might be my favorite show of all time. Whoa. It's so intense. It incorporates like all, like so many of like the very famous.

So the concept of the shows, it's basically like a fictional, well, like a prologue to Treasure Island. Oh. So it follows Captain Flint. Because in Treasure Island, like the protagonist or the main characters like Long John Silver and Jim Hawkins, and they're trying to find Captain Flint's treasure. So Black Sales follows Captain Flint. And like the story of how he became a very, like, famous, like infamous pirate. Because Captain Flynn wasn't like a real pirate. But in the show, they have all.

No, he was like, he was married. He had a family and he didn't really want to do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was like a former like naval captain. And there were a lot of like former like Navy men that became. Makes sense because you need a lot of training and you need a ship. It was kind of the perfect storm to create this. It's not like people could just be like, oh, I'm just going to grab a ship and go.

It's like that's such a... And like I was talking about earlier, the pirate code, like conditions, like as far as like being on a ship and being paid, like conditions on pirate ships generally were better. Like in the British Navy, like the captain had like final authority on anything. You could never question him. The pay was set, and it wasn't based on, like, how much you actually plundered. Because, like, pirates were given out, like, equal shares. And so it's like, you only had a certain amount.

And so, like, when the war ended and, like, a lot of these, like, Navy guys were, like, losing their jobs or whatever, it's like, yeah, go, go be a pirate. Yeah. That show is so good. It's also heartbreaking. It is a brutal show. It's brutal. I think the reason I love that show so much is because it does have, like, all these famous pirates and from what I know like and have like read like they're pretty like accurate to like what

their like personalities and how they would be um but it just shows piracy and all of its like really cool like magnificent like sailing the seven seas and then also the really awful terrible gruesome parts and it just kind of paints a very complete picture but it's like the best depiction of what we think it's kind of one of the only pirate shows though It's not, uh, kind of yeah. Well, it's probably an expensive thing to make.

Yeah, right? Yeah. Um, there's a scene in the show where they show like keel hauling. Do you know like what keel hauling is? It sounds familiar. Is that a way of killing someone? It's like a torture, way of torturing or killing someone. But basically what you would do is you would tie someone up by like their hands and feet.

Ah. And then drag them underneath the ship. Yeah. And so like pirate. So you must not have watched that far because they show, they'd show this. Nope. Nope. Nope. Because there's barnacles that go like on the bottom, like on the whole of a ship. And they're sharp and hard. And so they would pull people and drag them underneath the ship and their bodies would just get like shredded on barnacles. Like while being essentially drowned and they show it because I knew what it was. But seeing it depicted in the show, I was like that might be like one of the worst things that you could do to a person. I'm glad I didn't get that far, I guess. It was insane watching it happen.

In that show, there's so many moments, too, of just, like, where I'm just, like, hand over mouth, like, oh, my. It's such a wild show. I think I watched a couple episodes. It went for, like, two seasons, right? There's, like, five seasons. Oh, really? Yeah, it's a long show. But it is, like, front to back.

The writing is incredible. I'll check it out. That actor is so good, the Captain Flynn. Yeah. What else does he done? He's a British. I think so, yeah. No, he's incredible.

I'm not going to play this game where I go. Do you? so do you have a favorite pirate do i have a favorite pirate that's such a good question good thanks yeah yeah hey little pirate boy good question i think that you didn't like that i'm a little pirate boy i i'm a little pirate boy i i'm a little i'm a little pirate man i're thanks a vast um i really love uh so there's a there's a there's kind of a group of pirates that like all ran together the like flying gang and it was like Blackbeard and Charles Vane and Anne Bonnie Mary Calico Jack they all kind of ran together

I really love kind of like a hype house yeah but out on the exactly like a high house bro kind of on the ocean actually like what's up I'm Blackbeard and uh we're part of the flying gang um no I really love Anne Bonnie and Mary Reid I think they're so, like, badass, I think, in a time when, like, women truly were, like, just treated so terribly. That's what I meant to the beginning. Because this is 1600, or this 1700s. Yeah, the 1700s.

And, yeah, I guess just for, like, two, like, women to be known as some of, like, the fiercest, like, how did they, do you know how they ended up becoming pirates? Yes, so I believe, um, and Bonnie, if I remember correctly, she was, like, born and they thought like they're they're like early a lot of pirates are early lives aren't super well known basically she was like born in england and then brought to america kind of like secretly um and was raised in secret uh as like um a girl because they i think like it was something where like her her father whoever like they wanted her to be a boy and so and so they brought her to america but then she ended up like running off with like a guy that was a pirate.

Oh. And I believe it's a similar story to Mary Reid, like kind of just like grew up. Rebelled against her father. I believe Mary Reid actually grew up and she pretended to be a boy for like a lot of her early life and that just kind of led her to being a pirate and continuing that facade. That's incredible. They ended up, yeah, meeting on a ship and they sort of found out like not by accident. I think they kind of just clocked each other that they were like, oh, like, you're a girl too.

What's up, girl? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Girl, are you crazy? This is awful what I'm doing. They were probably so cool. Were they, how vicious of pirates were they? They were pretty, I mean, they were pretty, pretty vicious.

There's a story that I love where Mary Reid had like this one, I think, like, it was like the ship's carpenter. He was kind of like her little boy toy. and he got into it with like another person on the crew. And if pirates had disputes, this is actually like in Bartholomey Roberts Code, but it was like you wouldn't fight on the ship. If you had something to settle, you'd settle it like in a duel on land.

So like pistols and swords. Has to be on land. Yeah. You don't fuck up the ship. Yeah, you don't. And so. Yeah, of course. Of course.

Got to protect the ship. Yeah. But yeah, Mary Reid, like the carpenter that she liked, he like got into it with this other guy and they were going to duel. And Mary was like, don't worry. Don't worry, a little guy. I got you.

And she went out on the beach and, like, dueled this guy for him and, like, just slaughtered this other pirate for her little, like, whoa. That is a strong-ass woman. Yeah. She's like, I got you. Did she kill him with a gun or a sword? Bare hands.

I don't know. It might have been the gun. It might have shot him with a gun, finished him off with a sword. I feel like when you- Nice one-two combo. Yeah, well, when your gun only has one shot. You just cut off his head at the end.

I mean, you got to remember the gun only has one shot. Yeah, you got to make it count. If you get him in like the liver, it's like, well, he's still kicking. One of my favorite Ann Bonnie stories actually, and it's Anne Bonnie and Mary Reid and Calico Jack. They were, they'd taken a prize, but they were getting hunted by pirate hunters. So this was kind of at the end of, you know, piracy was sort of coming to an end. And they went into kind of this cove. like where they'd like been safe before and all the crew just started drinking getting super wasted and

and bonnie and mary were like if something happens like these pirate hunters were on our tail like we have to be ready like you guys shouldn't be drinking sure enough they get found and basically and bonny and mary were like fighting to the bitter end um but everyone on the ship was drunk and they just like surrendered um and so they all got captured and brought back to england like for trial and um and bonnie's last words to calico jack uh because he like surrendered and her last words to him were if you had fought like a man you'd needn't be hanged like a dog she basically was like she basically was like this is what you get for being a little fucking awesome tattooed on my chest yeah that's sick like like literally like raw as hell damn wait that was mary read or that was that was ann bonnie so wait

how did anne bonnie die um we don't know so there's A lot of their fates are probably mysterious, huh? A lot of pirates kind of faded. So she was supposed to be hanged, but then she, and it's not known again, like, there is no death record for Anne Bonny or Mary Reid because they claim to be... Their old women still alive. Yeah. Delman Louise.

We found him in the Grand Canyon. I don't think it there. They claim to be pregnant. And so the English, like, wouldn't hang a woman in. if she was pregnant. And so it's not, like, we don't have death records. We don't know if they actually went through with it. Or if, like, they...

Do you think that they were pregnant? I don't know. They're a pirate. They're probably lying. I don't know. And Bonnie was, like, with, uh, she, like, had, like, romantic relationships with Calico Jack. That's something that was, like, known.

Um, but, I mean, pirates were very free people. Uh, and Bonnie also was, like, I'm pretty sure, like, doing Mary. They were all doing each other. Doing Mary. Oh, if you're out, if you're out, you're out the ocean. And Bonnie was, you're, you're, you, you're, you, you, you're, was doing Mary. Guys, they're all doing each other.

Yeah, you're on a ship. You got like a few options. It's like, all right, we're all going to. And doing what? When you say doing Mary. You saw the show. They're all doing each other. Hey, I love it.

I think it's incredible. Amanda, they are fucking on the ship. This is why I want to be a pirate. It's essentially a nudist colony. It's all. Guys, if you watch Black Sales, there's so much boob and penis, it's crazy. Yes, that's why I loved it. I need to finish it.

They are not. They don't hold. back on the family. And it's like it's real. Like they were just like hanging like if the pirates were going on shore, they were spending their money drinking and at brothels and then they spend all their money. It's like, all right, we got a new prize. We heard tell of a new ship we're going to go hunt. They're living. I think it's always funny like with history. It's like the scope of it is like you're going off with this group of people. And this is the same with like armies back in the day. It's like you're going off and you're going to be gone for years. Yeah. You're probably not going to come home. It's like, you're probably going to have sex with whoever's around. Like that's probably what's going on. There's no, like, promise ring on any of these motherfuckers. It's like, yeah, it's like, dude, the Spartans went out to fight for years.

What do you think they're doing? Yeah. I mean, they got bigger things to worry about. Yeah, like, each other's penises. Yeah. They're like, let me see you. What size are you? Like, bro, let me get a look at your sword.

Yeah. Yeah. Now put your armor on and take your pants off. It's like you're going to die at any moment. You're hanging out. Like, come on. You're gonna have sex. You're showing each other our swords in it.

In the brig later. Yo, me, me in the brig later. I love it. Shifting from sex really quick. I did want to talk about, I did want to talk about, I want to talk about rum. Yeah. Were they all drinking rum? Is that like, that was specifically the drink?

Or is that that talked up? Or was it something different? Isn't that what was able to last on these ships for a really long time? Yeah, I'm pretty sure rum just generally was. It's what they were brewing like with the sugar. Yeah, sugar cane. I don't know too much about the way I know like tequila is obviously like agave

I don't actually know the distilling process for rum. Rum is tea. So rum is essentially a bunch of spices and a bunch of tea that you mix together and then you can ferment and put in a barrel or that's all rum is. Interesting. Yeah. I love, I have this like Caribbean rum cocktail book.

You and your husband love rum. Rum is H's favorite thing in the entire world. And he's obsessed with the origin of rum. everything about rum, Caribbean rum. That's awesome. Should we call him in? Should we ask? Get him on in here.

Let's get some shots of rum. All the pirates were drinking rum. I love that probably, especially in that era, like 1700s into the 1800s. That might be one of the drunkenest periods of human history. People were drunk all the time. I want to say it was 1830 that in the States there was like the peak of like drinking. And they say it was something like people averaged like five shots of whiskey a day. Like, I mean, there's just, and it was like that last, it was like a safety thing too.

It's like, that's why in Rome, right, they, they pretty much everything they drink was alcoholic. Yeah. Because it was like, that's how you kept it safe from bacteria. Am I wrong about this? But isn't IPA, India Pale Ale? Didn't they, it didn't mean to be as hoppy, but they had to keep it lasting for like it on the ship. So they had to add more hops to it to make it last. That's why it's called India Paleo.

I don't know anything. I don't know. I don't want on a deep dive I don't like IPAs. I love IPAs. I like IPAs. I think a lot of these beers that were created, like IPAs,

sours, they were created out of necessity. Yeah, because it makes it last, right? It's kind of the same with like anything fermented, I feel like was originally just so it's like,

yeah, so this stays safe. But rum is, rum is because of the spices and the teas. Yeah. But again, we're going to have a lot of, we're going to have like,

someone in the comments can be like, alcohol expert here. Yeah, alcohol expert. Just because they're drunk. Alcohol expert here. I'm sipping on some Captain Morgan spiced rum right now.

Yeah. Let me tell you right now. Captain Morgan's no person. I could, I, I, Captain and Coke, it happened in college and I can never go back to it ever again. It was like my thing. It was never a rum. Like, I like rum, but I never, it was never like my thing. I don't know why.

It was that and Bacardi. I don't know why. Bacardi 151. My mom used to growing up when I was younger, my mom would, she would do Diet Coke. Because we only, like, had Diet Coke in the house. We only drink Diet Coke. She would do Diet Coke and rum, and she called it a skinny pirate. That's like, yeah.

That's good. One time when I was a kid, I, like, went into, like, I saw like a Diet Coke. And I was like, ooh, Diet Coke, I'm going to have a sip. Like, I knew it was my mom's, and I tasted it. And I was like, oh, that's disgusting. That's probably rough. To find out later, it was a skinny pirate. As I said, I can't do rum and coke again.

I randomly did one. Like, I had a rum and Coke two years ago, and I was like, this is delicious. Yeah. It's kind of delicious. It's very sweet. Only with spice. I can only do a rum and coke of spice.

Same. Same. Same. Same. Same. I wouldn't know. I don't do them that. I haven't had that that much.

But it's not a real pirate. Sorry, I'm not a real pirate. I guess you can't be part of the flying gang. Sorry, buddy. Sorry, buddy. That's a really cool name, the flying gang. Yeah. Yeah.

Were there other names for like big groups of pirates? Yeah. Yeah. There were other pirates. Like I said, there was a flanging. There were the Barbary Corsairs. But I mean,

there were a lot of like, it made sense to kind of roll with a crew, you know? You had like a group of like-minded individuals. And they weren't all sailing together all the time. They were just like, they were just a unit. So it's like Blackbeard might be off on the other side of the world.

But then if there, but then, but then, you know, there would be times when they would like coordinate. If there was like, you know, a treasure, like a Spanish treasure fleet. They might be like, hey, we got tell. There's going to be these, there's like a big treasure galleon and there's two, you know,

big warships guarding it. Let's get the gang together and we'll all go out and like try and make this happen. Did these like famous ones like Blackbeard, did they only operate around the Caribbean or did they travel around the whole world? Um, they mostly operated in the Caribbean. I think sometimes they, they would go, uh, uh, pirates would also, they'd go up and down the coast of like America as well. well.

Yeah, yeah. Like North America, pillaging and plundering colonies. This is kind of a crazy question, but like, where do they get their ships? Solid question. You know what I mean? Like, they have all these ships. Is it just they started with one ship that they had and then they kind of stole other ships and it became part of their fleet?

Yeah, I think that was mostly it. It was like they would like someone would have a ship, would buy a ship, whatever. They would be a merchant turned pirate. However they got their ship in the first place. Or like a naval ship that then they. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, yeah, you would, you would, like, plunder other ships. If they had a nicer ship, you could take it for your own, or you could just, like, use, like,

the money that you got to, like, repair and upgrade your ship. But, yeah, a lot of it was just taking other people's stuff. Are you interested in knowing where, like, shipwrecks are to this day? Like, are there any famous shipwrecks that you're super interested in? Not that I'm super interested. I know there are, like, very famous shipwrecks and that you can, like, I'm pretty sure that, like, can do dives and they found like old like Spanish treasure galleons and stuff. Aren't they discovering new ones all the time?

Yeah. Like there are a countless amount of shipwrecks. Yep. And pirates would like they would plunder shipwrecks. That's like something like if a ship like they had diving. How? How? So.

Because without the modern, modern gear. Well they had they had old diving gear like back in the day. In the 1700s? So they had diving bells. And basically, to my knowledge, it was basically like a giant, like, metal thing and you would drop it in the water and it would go down because it was really heavy and it would trap air inside of it. And so then you would go down essentially with this diving bell and then you would take a breath and then swim around. And then you'd like go back up for air into like this diving bell that they'd lowered down. It essentially like free dive with a little bit of oxygen down there.

That is terrifying. First of all, the bends, you know, they're going. Yeah, but they're pirates. They're just build different. What the hell? They can just handle that. Like when you free dive and then you go up that quickly, I guess they weren't, they obviously weren't down there that long.

If you're down there, yeah. I think also, like, I think also. They're not going down massive depths. It has to be that they could probably see. It has to be like 30 or maybe 40 feet max. Max, yeah. Yeah. Around the Caribbean islands like and stuff, like in the Spanish main, there was a lot of like, you know,

shallow shipwrecks. And that's a reason also that there were shipwreck. It's like you would go into shallow waters and there might be jagged rocks that like you didn't see or whatever. Or going over another shipwreck. Like that was one thing in the show in Black Sails that they depict is the British actually scuttled a bunch of ships in like the harbor of Nassau so that the pirates could sail through. So when they went to sail their ships, they just hit these other ships on.

Wow. Pretty, pretty genius. I mean, that's what they say is the Bermuda Triangle. Not, not shipwrecks, but it's actually, they're like, oh, spooky Bermuda Triangle, all these ships always go down. But it's actually like a formation of volcanoes or crazy reefs in the center of it. And it's like almost like a, what is that called a whirlpool situation. So it's not like it's haunted or spooky. It's just what's underneath and then ships always wreck there.

It's just the ocean, yeah. Do you, I remember reading once that they were like, we think Blackbeard's treasure is buried like in South Carolina. And I was like, that's crazy. Because like, as you said, they go up and down the coast. But it's like, I wonder how much buried treasure there is just out there in the, on land. Yeah. Yeah. Well, so there's actually, there was only one actual recorded historical instance of a pirate burying treasure.

And it was William Kidd. and he essentially used it as a bargaining chip. So he was a privateer technically, and he sailed around the coast of Africa. And he was supposed to be not plundering British ships, but so much of the commerce in that area was like British ships and the British East India Company. And so his crew got restless.

They're like, we see all these stacked British ships and like we want to like take them as a prize and he William Kidd had basically done kind of a shady deal with some magistrates and like like members of like government in England to be like hey we'll like kind of give you a secret letter of Mark almost and like you just pay us like kind of under the table like some some money that like from the ships that you plunder but then like William Kidd's crew is threatening to mutiny him and so he's like all right well I just got to attack an English ship now. And so he got all this treasure,

but then the English were after him. And so he buried his treasure to basically, when he brought, when he like... Insurance. Yeah, to be like, well, if you kill me, like, you won't know where my treasure is. So smart. And then they killed him anyways.

Yeah, so now his treasures just buried somewhere. Could be. If he was being honest, yeah, his treasures. Oh, right. That's why they killed them. So there's likely, by that logic, Why would most pirates bury their treasure? It's most likely the only treasure that's hidden out in the world is in shipwrecks.

Yeah, I think, like, realistically, pirates were, like, they were using the money that they were earning. And for, like, a lot of the, like, more successful pirates, like, either they were dying or, like, Henry Evere, he just disappeared. Yeah. He just disappeared. After his, like, huge prize, he disappeared. And, like, we don't really know what happened to him. But it's actually a lot of the very common kind of pirate tropes come from Treasure Island. and Robert Louis Stevenson.

Even the pirate voice is not like a... That comes from the Treasure Island movie, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pirates probably were like hanging out just like talking like this. Yeah, yeah. I think like in Black Sales,

it's probably like the way that they talk. Like I think they do it. Just like anyone else. Talk about that a little bit. Nothing's super crazy though. Yeah, no, they don't talk like super pirity. It's more of just like... They didn't have a specific...

There wasn't like a pirate accent like, yarr! It's just like they all were... It's like British people. Yeah, exactly. But he just made up an entire language essentially. Yeah, I mean, he made up a blank, like X marks the spot on a treasure map. That was like buried treasures.

Oh, the best thing ever as a kid. Most, I feel like so many tropes do come from fiction. Yeah. And it's funny because he was just like kind of fascinated with pirates. And the one, I can't remember the guy who wrote it, but a lot of the kind of stuff that we have, like the first-hand accounts of pirates comes from a book called The Jets. general history of pirates, I think. But the party line on it is sort of like, it is embellished in that book as well. Like there are things and it's like, okay, like that might not have happened.

Right. There was embellishment happening. But it is like kind of the most like cohesive, like kind of representation of like first-hand accounts. That's where we get like Bartholomew Roberts pirate code is like, was like, you know, recorded there. Yeah, no. I think just like in general there's there it's hard to know exactly what things were like I think we have a pretty good picture but when something in real life because I truly think that pirates in real life were crazy like so much of it is based in truth and so it's hard like for us to be like okay how do we separate like the truth from the embellishment because I think that so much of the crazy stuff is also true yeah do you wish that you were a pirate? No, God, no.

It had to have sucked so bad to be a pirate. So you're just an admirer from afar. You just enjoy the history of it. I would love to be able to live on a pirate ship like with God mode turned on. Where I'm like invincible like in a video game. Like I can like I'm in creative mode. Like I can just kind of get up and fly around.

But like to see like an actual like naval battle or pirates boarding ship, That'd probably be the coolest thing ever. I would never, yeah, I wouldn't, there's no time in history that I'd want to go actually, like, live in, right? No matter who you are in those eras. But it's like if you could travel and have like a protective bubble around you and just be an observer. Yeah. Of any era. It's like fun to, like, would that be the era that you pick for sure?

Yeah. Yeah. If I could have a protective bubble, just observe an era of history. I would love to have seen the pirates. What about you? I don't know if I would pick that just. just like as a woman. Well, no, I'm saying you're not like actually there or seen.

If you have a protective bubble and you get to go and just observe any moment in history. Ancient Egypt. Okay. Thousand percent. Which time in ancient Egypt? It was around for so long. I know. Isn't it crazy that Cleopatra's closer to our time than she was to ancient, like the pyramids being built? I don't think I'd want to be around the pyramid time.

Not the pyramid time. I feel like Pharaoh's Cleopatra, like, I don't know what era that is. There's so many. I don't think I want to be like four thousand years. Early, early, early pyramids being built. That feels like a lot of. You're thinking closer to car of labor to watch. You're thinking closer to Cleopatra time.

Yeah, more, I want to like be involved in the politics and the royalty and the, and the traditions that they have and the, like, almost like the superstitious, like, where that all came about and like I'm really really into that I would be really into that but again I am really into pirate times because I'm into like sailing and like my my papa and my uncle both were sailors my papa had like a pretty pretty big-sized ship sail sailboat that he had that my sisters used to go on all the time and like I'm really into that era but I feel like I just I wouldn't want to miss out on that era of Egypt yeah Yeah.

What about you? Man, I do think ancient history just sounds so cool. To see ancient Greece. Yeah. Ancient Persia. Greece. Just to see things like to go back like really far. Like I would love to see like Mesopotamia, Assyria.

Like there's just like old civilizations. There was a museum in L.A. I forget the museum, but they had a whole Mesopotamia exhibit. And it was epic. And H. and I went and they uncovered stones with spilisput. Pacific Mesopotamia, like... The cuneiform and everything? Yes, and it was like, they broke down what it was saying,

and it was, like, such an epic exhibit. Ooh, and then also to, like, see, like, Aztec, Incan, Mayan, like... Oh, yeah. Because just ones where it's like, we... We can't decipher pretty well what life was like, but to really go and, like, see it. And also, I think, like, what I would love is any ancient history,

and probably any time in history, is to go and just, like, chill on a... random street and just see people like living a daily life. Yeah. Because I think we have this, we portray things as being so different. Right? It's like, no, people were do like we are they're still human, right? To go back as far as you could, right? Because they say I think it's like, I remember reading once, it's like, if you went back 50,000 years and took a baby from back then and brought them to the modern era and raised them, that they would be not as, that they would be indistinguishable as far as personality.

This was, then I might, that might be off. But it's like, the human brain is, has been this way for a long time, right? It's not like 50,000 years ago. We were different. It's like, no, that was, they were humans. So it's like to just see, and then to be able to understand the language. Yeah. To, if I'm like in this fictional thing that I'm doing, we're like, we're in a bubble that,

the cyphers that translates, that does everything. And to just, like, hang out and see, like, someone's daily life. And they can't see you. And they can't see me. No. But I can interact with the drinks and food. Okay. So I get to drink their alcohol.

And your boots and go in and be like, let me just. No, I would kill to be able to be like, what's their food like? You know, like, what is, what would be, what's the nicest dish from that era that I can have? So interesting. Like, what's it like? How, like, give me a side by side. Like, give me a McDonald's and then whatever they were eating. And like, who has it better?

And then you have the ability to give them a McDouble? Yeah. Oh my God! I have gotten a message from God. Wow, this was incredible. Like, you knew so much. I mean, I didn't doubt you, but I learned so much. Thank you.

This is awesome. Thank you, Trevor, so much. Thank you for having me. No, this was lovely. I love nerd and out about pirates specifically, but about history in general. I'll come talk about anything, bro. Yeah, you really are, like, well-versed. Come bring me on for the Greco-Persian Wars.

Fuck yeah. Oh, I love it. That's a battle of history part two. I love that shit. Yeah. That's the stuff I was learning about recently. Well,

hell yeah, happy birthday. Thank you. Thank you. Happy birthday. Thank you for giving us this gift of pirate knowledge

for your birthday. Time. It's so beautiful. I love sharing, I love sharing beautiful, enriching conversations with my friends. Me too.

You are. Argue. All right. All right. Bye. See you later.