Smosh Mouth - #156 - Smosh Mouth For Men
Episode Date: August 10, 2026Finally, a podcast for men. https://fabletics.com/smoshmouth to get 70- 80% off everything when you sign up as a new VIP. 3 Day Blinds - for their buy 1 get 1 50% off deal, head to https://3DayBlin...ds.com/SMOSHMOUTH. Exclusive $35-off Carver Mat, Aspen, and Walden frames at https://on.auraframes.com/SMOSHMOUTH. Promo Code SMOSHMOUTH.SMOSH MOUTH PODCASTApple: https://apple.co/4fKXdI3Spotify: https://bit.ly/3TamRgM0:00 Intro2:30 Juice talk6:21 What's the most "manly" thing you do?9:51 Sponsor11:12 Back to man talk20:31 Scary stories30:33 Sponsor31:54 Ranking desserts42:58 Manly thermostat talk48:15 Manly anime talk56:51 Sponsor58:12 Manly adviceSUBSCRIBE: https://bit.ly/3TvXHJrWEAR OUR JOKES: https://smosh.comWHO YOU HEARShayne Topp // https://www.instagram.com/shaynetopp/Damien Haas // https://www.instagram.com/damienhaas/Trevor Evarts // https://www.instagram.com/trevorevarts/WHO YOU DON’T HEAR (usually)Director: Selina GarciaEditor: Kristen O'HareProducer: Amanda Lehan-Canto, Shayne Topp, Selina GarciaPodcasts Producer: Selina GarciaProduction Designer: Cassie VanceArt Director: Adrian Sheen, Erin Kuschner, Josie BellerbyAssistant Art Director: Alexander Norman, Courtney ChapmanProp Master: Abigail Schmidt, Bridgette BaronProp Assistant: Carly Hough, Lunora ReyesDirector of Audio: Scott NeffAudio Mixer: Jose PerezAudio Utility: Lila RowelDirector of Photography: Eric Wann, Brennan IketaniVideographer: Eric Wann, James HullCamera Operator: Matthew FaulknerAssistant Director: Jonathan HyonExecutive Vice President of Production: Amanda BarnesDirector of Production: Alexcina FigueroaProduction Manager: Tyler M. Kennedy, Jonathan HyonProduction Coordinator: Caroline Smith, Oliver Wehlander, Zianne HooverProduction Assistant: Caroline Smith, Michael GomezDirector of Post Production: Luke BakerDIT/Lead AE: Matt DuranDIT/AE: Beni KimuenePost Production Coordinator: Ariana MartinezDirector of IT: Tim BakerIT & Equipment Coordinator: Lopati Ho CheeSound Editor: Gareth HirdDirector of Design: Ness CardanoSenior Motion & Branding Designer: Christie HauckSenior Graphic Designer: Jay TaylorGraphic Designer: Monica RavitchDirector of Channel Operations: Lizzy JonesChannel Operations Manager: Audrey CarganillaChannel Operations Coordinator: Sabrina LiebermanSocial Media Associate Producer: Peter DitzlerSocial Media Manager: Kim WilbornSocial Media Coordinator: Margaux BernalesSocial Editor: Vida RobbinsMerchandising Manager: Mallory MyersBrand Partnership Manager: Chloe MaysBrand Partnerships Coordinating Producer: Liz KummerOperations Manager: Marshall A. PeaseOperations Coordinator: Sara FaltersackFinancial Operations Specialist: Natalie LewisTalent Coordinator: Danielle MosesPeople & Culture Manager: Katie FinkPeople & Culture Coordinator: Hannah MerrittCEO: Alessandra CataneseExecutive Producers: Anthony Padilla, Ian HecoxCCO: Cory MidgardenEVP of Programming & Development: Kiana ParkerProducer, Special Projects: Rachel CollisExecutive Coordinator: Katelyn HempsteadOTHER SMOSHES:Smosh: https://bit.ly/4wUu0jHSmosh Pit: https://bit.ly/4aZo6WaSmosh Games: https://bit.ly/3TMpGVhSmosh Alike: https://bit.ly/4hpe1WdFOLLOW US:TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@smoshInstagram: https://instagram.com/smoshFacebook: https://facebook.com/smosh
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello, welcome to Smosh Mouth for Men.
I'm Shane, and I'm joined by two other men, Damien and Trevor.
Yeah.
Suup, fellow man.
I know everybody's been asking for it, Smosh Mouth for Men.
Yeah.
Finally a podcast for men.
People have been clamoring for this.
The ladies and the Vades have gone, so us will play now.
Yeah, the dudes.
Amanda is in Boston.
So.
Boston, pretty manly plays, honestly.
But hey, if anyone's upset,
About an episode for men, don't worry,
because in the coming weeks,
we're gonna do the opposite.
So it'll be Amanda, and I'll be gone,
and then should be smosh mouth for women.
So don't worry.
Don't worry.
Don't worry.
I heard this recently on like a, on a comment,
on a TikTok somewhere,
but I've adopted it as my own.
Like, I am a straight man in the way that a tomato is a fruit.
We were like, really?
Oh shit.
And you sort of like,
Oh, yeah, no.
that's a man and he's straight and there you go.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I feel like being at Smosh, people are probably like, really?
You're straight?
Yeah.
Like, it's just like, yes, yeah.
I'm a straight man in the way that Little Caesar's crazy bread is bread.
Yeah.
So you're like, you're like man plus.
You know, crazy bread is kind of just like normal bread to a guy like me.
That's how to range.
For Mike's twisted mind.
Twisted brain.
I like that we've all got our sports here.
Yeah.
So I've got football.
I got basketball.
And I've got a Pokemon, both training and catching and friendship and battles.
Lots of walking and bike riding, too.
Lots of that, which I do while sitting down and playing it on a screen.
Yeah.
But you could.
But you can.
I have been poco peeing it up again.
Really?
I restarted it like a month ago.
It's a good time.
I'm hooked, man.
It's a problem for me.
Dude, I got back on just for the Jarachi event.
Oh, yeah.
And I was playing and I was like, this is good.
Like, I might have to hop back in.
It's addictive.
It's very addictive.
For those not in the know, it's a Pokemon game that like if Minecraft and Animal Crossing had a little babbo and raised that babo well to lead a good life, it would be Pocopia.
It's a good time.
It's a really good game.
The Spartanelli's hits.
Yeah?
It hits.
What's the vintage?
What's the other?
It's a 97.
It is very bad.
Ooh, the year the Yankees won.
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, that actually is delicious.
As a juice drinker myself, no.
Anything with cranberry, I'm all in.
Yeah.
You are immune to UTIs.
Yeah.
Therefore.
Can't get them.
I drink cranberry juice even if I don't have a UTI.
It's delicious.
Yeah.
Because I love like a real intense tartness.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, I love a tartness.
I like a tart juice.
Tartness is one of the manliest kind of flavor notes, I think.
Tartness is next to fartness.
Smoky, umami, tartness.
Tartness. Yeah.
Yeah.
And also blackberry.
Indeed.
That's the fourth.
Yeah.
I had to slow down on the juice, fellas.
What?
Yeah, I had to slow down on the juice.
Because I don't know if you know this, you probably do since you're, you know, fellas.
Costco, they have Capri Sun, but hold on for a minute.
They got 100% juice Capri Sun.
So it's not that baby stuff where they're watering it down.
This is the straight up.
Wait, in the pouches.
In the pouches.
And it's 100% juice.
100% juice, my God.
And it's Preson branding?
Yeah, it's Capri Sun.
It's literally Capri Sun, 100% juice.
And is it's hashtag not sponsored?
But like if you have like three or four of those a day, you end up having to be like,
maybe that's a lot of juice.
Yeah.
Maybe that is a lot of juice.
I'm getting reports.
That's a lot of juice.
Hold on.
My doctor's like, you have how many caprizona?
100%.
Oh, God.
You're not even diluting it.
Yeah.
That's intense.
What flavor is it?
What flavor juice?
I mean, obviously, berry is my favorite mixed berry.
But they got fruit punch, which tastes like a Pacific cooler.
and then two apple ones come in the pack.
Wow.
I never, as a kid,
because I drank so many Capri Sons.
Yeah.
Oh, you have to.
Legally, yeah.
I never, like,
knew what flavor I was about to drink.
Yeah, well, they always...
You grab them,
you pop that straw in, and you go.
Yeah.
They had, like, names
that weren't, like, actual flavors.
Yeah, like, Pacific cooler.
I think probably because they're not Jews,
so I don't think they can legally be like,
cherry.
The only one that was honest was lemonade,
and it was terrible.
I don't know if I even had lemonade.
The lemonade one was so.
So bad. I've never had lemonade in that.
Bro, we tried to do that
Guinness World Records thing where we drink
How Fast Can You Drink a Capri Sun?
And the record was like six seconds
or something, right?
Six seconds. Yeah.
Yeah. Six seconds. Don't!
Dude, I was doing so...
Hold on, I was doing so much
six-seven. No, no, no. Wait!
I was doing hell of six-seven
before I got here.
Selina just flipped over a big zero on the days since
six-seven joke. It's like, it's like, can I use a bathroom
really quick? And we just can feel you doing it.
Yeah, just in the mirror like, you got this, Trevor.
But I, so we could not do it.
We could not even break like 15 seconds.
Do you have to use the straw? Is that the thing?
So it's, it's, once the timer started, you had to get the straw out, get it out of its wrapping, get it into the pouch, and then drink it all.
But through the straw, like, because I feel like there could be a technique where you pierce it with the straw, but then as soon as you're moving, you just, through the straw.
Yeah.
Crazy.
But what's crazy is we couldn't do it.
And I, obviously, it's my, my, my, my, chast.
childhood memories, but I feel like in my memories, as a kid, I drank them in under three seconds.
Oh, yeah. Once the straw is in, I feel like as a kid, I was just like, but maybe it's because
I got a tiny little child mouth that I could do it faster.
Oh, yeah, it's Pascal's theory of pressure. Yeah. Where if you literally writes out, if you have
a tiny little child mouth, you can have that. And I, it's my favorite thing Pedro Pascal's ever.
Yeah, and that's like probably my favorite theory of pressure. And the most manly theory of pressure,
I think is Pascal's. 100%. Well, Pascal sort of stole what was our, and, it's a lot. And I'm
already done somewhere in the Middle East
a long, long time before that in terms of like pressure
theory. So like by stealing
somebody else's work and just talking about it louder,
Pascal truly made the manly move.
Pretty manly thing to do. He actually
was a man. Think about what the idea
I just had though. Yeah, but I pitched this.
What about this? I'm an ideas guy.
Shit.
All right.
What's other manly stuff?
What's the, okay, actually, I genuinely
want to ask this because I wouldn't consider
myself to be a very like masculine person as it's traditionally defined. What's like the most
manly thing that you guys do on a regular basis? I weirdly, I've been thinking about this a lot because
we did a assumptions video forever ago, me Spencer and then Ludwig was on. Oh yeah. And there's
these types of questions were coming up and since then it's kind of, I think about it a lot of like,
like what does quantify as like manly or so much is just like culturally defined?
sidally defined.
So it's really like completely
meaningless and it changes culture to culture.
But I'm just kind of like, what is just like,
what do I just consider like adult?
And what is like defined as like a positive,
masculine, manly.
I think you hit the nail on the head
where it's like this is,
you're kind of just doing an adult thing.
Yeah.
And it was never that like other genders
couldn't do something.
It's just the like,
it's not your role.
I do this.
And so.
Right.
I think like the most,
like what I would say is like manly masculine thing that I like find myself doing is I love like
carrying lots of things like if it's like a moving a piece of furniture it's like I can let this
chair by myself like I'm capable or like bringing groceries in I'm like I'm going to get them all
like I can carry everything I'm not taking two trips yeah I'm not taking two trips I have I have also
gotten a sofa into a small apartment by myself yeah back in the day I was like I'm not calling
someone for this I'm just going to get it out of my car and put it on my back like Atlas and
walk it on in I I
relate to that. To me, I attribute that in my head, I believe that's like, I think it's lazy.
Like, I'm like, or impatience. I'm like, I'm, I don't want to go through the hassle of taking two trips.
So I'm going to burden myself for one. And here's the thing is, I don't even take this. If I can't do it, I don't take the second trip.
I've literally had two 12 packs of Diet Coke in my trunk that have been there for like a week. And I keep driving and hearing them like move around back there.
And I'm like, I never, I never went back for the second trip. I just, I couldn't, I couldn't carry all of them.
Ralph's was having a great deal on 12 packs, and I got like six of them.
And I could only carry four.
Chunks of shrapnel floating in there after a few weeks in the house.
It's like I got my ingredients for my potato and leek soup, and then I got my four 12 packs.
The amount of times that I do that, stupid.
A lot of times I do that specifically with my trunk, where I have something in my trunk,
and every time I turn, it's just like,
and every time I'm driving, I'm like, I really should.
fucking figure that out. And then I never do, and it'll be there for a year.
I've got the secret. I finally handled all that stuff because I got a new car.
They're like, you can't leave all this in when you're trading in your Prius. You can't do that.
And I'm like, okay. So I put it all in a bag and I was like, hey, I'm going to put this bag in
my home and it's going to stay in that bag. And if I needed something for my car, maybe I put it back
in. But otherwise, I just going to have my car now. See, it's a perennial problem for me,
I keep my basketball and my basketball shoes in my trunk.
That sounds manly.
And what I do is I try and wedge the ball into like the corner of the trunk and then the
shoes so it doesn't roll around.
But then occasionally it gets dislodged.
And then that's so annoying because then I'm just hearing this like,
bum, boom, like ball rolling around in my trunk.
You got to start using towels because towels are good to have anywhere.
You like you never know if you got full.
Oh yeah.
That's true.
That's true.
This episode of Smoshmouth is sponsored by Fabletics.
It has been a hot summer.
Every time I take a walk outside, I feel the blazing heat.
But then I walk into any restaurant or work, and it's freezing.
I was either sweating through everything or shaking like a leaf.
I had to do something.
So I became a Fabletics VIP.
Now I have lightweight layers that not only work great for the outdoors, but in air conditioning
too, and they look really, really good.
When I signed up as a new VIP, I got 70 to 80% off everything, matching sets, everyday basics,
bras, shorts, the list goes on. Everything is so comfortable and it's made of quality materials.
So I'm obsessed with the daydreamer pant and windbreaker. I've been wearing it nonstop that my husband was
like, those are the best pants I've ever seen you in. And I'm like, wow, I've known you for a really
long time. But seriously, they are amazing and I probably want to wear them every day.
Shop now at fabletics.com slash smoshmouth to get 70 to 80% off everything when you sign up as a new VIP.
Take a quick style quiz and be sure to select Smoshmouth when prompted to unlock this offer.
This is a limited time offer, so don't wait.
Again, that's fabletics.com slash smoshmouth for 70 to 80% off everything as a new VIP.
Back to the show.
I think my most stereotypically manly thing is I handle the spiders and bugs, by which I mean I capture them gently and put them outside.
I will do that.
Dude, that's tough.
Having to become the bug guy is.
tough because I was scared of my whole life I was like bugs I don't want to touch it I don't want to
get near it someone else take care of it and then like it is like kind of like I you know
started dating my fiancee raven and I was like I had to overcome that I had to become
the guy that takes care of the bugs and gets the little cup and piece of paper and I'm like holding it like
please don't escape somehow please don't escape and then like throwing it outside and closing the door
really quick and then like all right you're off to safety and you just like shaking out
The cup, get out, get out.
It reminds me of what I've talked about before,
but the time that there was a praying mantis
inside Courtney's bathroom.
Oh, that's a big praying mantis.
And how I solved that was opening the door really quickly,
throwing one of our cats in there and shutting the door.
Oh, shit.
And being like, you figure that out.
So you're like a Roman Caesar.
We're like, I bring in the lions.
Send the battalions in there.
And then I opened the door later,
and it was just birdie, our cat,
and then the praying mantis was on like a body.
of hair spray on one side of the bottle of the hairspray and our cat was on the other side and
they were just trading jab and she like failed to kill the the thing and I felt really bad and
then I couldn't capture that that was too much for me and it sucks because praying mantises are
one of my favorite bugs but I had to yeah I didn't have like a means to capture it yeah because
it's too like tactile it's too like occasionally there is a bug that I'm like I don't know if I'm
capable of getting you outside safely and I have to squish and then I'm like I felt really
I need to get one of those, have you seen those like spider capture things?
Yeah, where it's like a bunch of prongs that it's just like perfectly like, they're just like, oh, what?
I haven't seen that one.
The one I'm talking about looks like a little vacuum and it's like the cup, but it automatically closes the lid and it has like a little chamber in there.
So it's like, welcome to your new little house for like three minutes.
Oh.
And then you put that.
I did do that.
We had a cockroach in our.
Those you can kill.
And I didn't kill that.
Oh.
I had a handback and I vacuumed it up and then it was just in the canister.
crawling around, and then I went to our apartment's, like, trash chute,
and I just opened it up into the trash chute,
and it, like, flew down the trash chute,
and I was like, I sent him to heaven.
You sent him like I wanted to go.
He's exactly where he wants to be in a trash bin.
That's true.
Where he belongs.
Yeah, no, I don't like to kill anything, even a cockroach.
I'll try to avoid it.
Yeah.
It feels so bad, man.
It just sucks.
It's the kind of thing where, like, if you grew up with a family that's just like,
oh, kill the bug.
You're like, got it.
Kill the bug.
And then the moment you sort of like come online mentally, you're like, kill the bug.
Why?
Friend the bug.
And then you see a little jumping spider on TikTok and you're like, oh, it's like waving and it's so happy.
I think if I came across a spider that if it's by really would mess you up, I would maybe have to.
There are a lot of black widows in my area.
And especially if it's a spiders that make a web cool with.
You're chill.
You have your home.
I know where your location is.
Spiders who crawl around.
and are just constantly moving around different crevices.
I'm like, I'm sorry, man.
Like, I can't expect your next move.
So I have no choice.
So it's fear of the unknown.
So like brown recluses, I'm like, you got to.
Yeah.
No, I don't like it when I see a bug and I'm like, I'm going to try and handle this and I go and get the necessary tools.
And then I come back and that bug is gone.
I'm like, I can't.
I'm freaking out.
And then you just hear like, don't turn around.
And you're like, relax.
He's right behind me.
I genuinely had that happen to me.
When I was, like, in my early 20s, I was in an apartment, and I see a spider on the wall, and I go, all right, I'm not going to kill you, man.
You chill right there.
By the way, Trevor has a grape, and it's a good-looking grape.
That one wanted to grow up to be an eggplant.
This is a manly grape.
Look at that.
That is a manly grape.
Yeah.
That's a...
God.
Some ASMR right there.
But I see the spider.
on the wall, and then a second later I'm watching TV,
I look, it's gone. And I go,
okay, where is he? And I don't
know where he is. Like, an hour
goes by, I'm watching TV. I get up
from the couch, and I shit you not.
It was like right behind
where I was sitting on the couch.
Like, that Sheldon is so fucking funny.
I was like, you managed to go to the one
place, like, why'd you go there?
And then I had to, I had to probably.
Well, because he trespassed on your boundaries.
Okay, actually, and I've, I
have told this story, the only thing that I will
kill, and I feel zero guilt, actually
feel a little good. Wasps.
You're like, people.
Humming. It's the only thing that
turns me on anymore.
Wasps can go fuck themselves.
They can. I'm sorry. They don't even
make honey. Oh, and mosquitoes.
I will smack crap out
of mosquito. But a
wasp, I one time had a wasp in my apartment
when I was younger, and
I had like a truly like a 20-minute
battle with it. I had a
a broom in one hand and I had like a foam basketball in the other.
And so like when it was far distance,
I was using my aerial combat by trying to like throw the ball.
And then it would like swoop at me and I would like try to hit it with the broom.
We had like a genuine Dark Souls.
What music were you playing?
It was dark souls.
Okay, there you go.
It was like, it's like, oh, oh.
Like red health bar pops up for like mosquito lord of guns.
I literally did the same thing.
At my old apartment, I don't remember.
why, there was a reason, but we basically had like a ton of flies that got in the house,
just like house flies.
And they were pissing me off and I couldn't get them out the door.
And so what we did is it was nighttime, we turned off all the lights.
And then I opened the bathroom door and turn the bathroom light on and basically
lured all of them in there.
Then closed the door.
And I just had like two dish towels.
And I straight up was just like in the bathroom, just like, oh, whoa, just like flying.
And like smacking all these flies.
And I literally felt like a gladiator.
Isn't that what that's what it man must feel like?
Jesus.
Living out of power fantasy.
No, it's like attack on Titan.
Yeah.
The one thing that I do feel really bad about when it comes to bugs is every once in a while,
especially like in the summer, I'll open up a door that leads to outside and just like slip out real quick.
But when I'm back in, I'll notice that like something has gotten in that's the size of like a couple hummingbirds.
And it's always like that.
It's always like that massive bug that's like,
bing, bing, bing, bing, like you can hear it against the ceiling
with tapping with those huge wings.
And I'm like, I don't have any way to get you outside.
And then, like, a day later, it's just nowhere to be found.
And I'm like, did you die?
Like, where did you go?
I don't think you found a way outside.
Did you die?
This can't be it for you.
Yeah.
Buddy.
Do you ever, like, withhold bug from your partner?
Oh, like, like, withhold a bug?
Like, like, you find a bug over there?
No.
Like, you find a bug in the house.
Like, I didn't.
this the other day, I'm really sorry, Raven, if you're watching this.
But there was, like, some clothes that she had left on the floor.
And I was like, okay, I'm like, do the laundry and I picked up this pile of clothes.
And there was a spider underneath.
And then I'm like, that's terrifying because then what if there's spiders in the clothes everywhere?
And I was like, I'm going to deal with it quietly and not say anything about it.
You dealt with the spider.
I dealt with the spider.
I thought you meant like you just saw a spider and you're like, wow, there it goes.
You're like, Raven's the other one.
She's the one that's in that other room.
Get her.
No, I like dealt with it, but I was like, if I tell her that there was a spider in her pile of clothes, it's just I don't want her to have to like, you know, deal with that.
Like, I can handle the spider.
I think that's fair.
Yeah, okay.
So I felt bad about it.
I was like, I feel like I'm...
Now, just so I'm in your mindset a little bit, you feel bad because, like, she's supposed to know about the spider?
Or like what's she missing there?
It's like when you're withholding information, sometimes it feels like you're lying.
You're like not lying.
I'm not being dishonest, but I'm like, I didn't tell you.
you about this thing that like maybe I should I don't know I think there's a good fact that you
dealt with it means like it's not there it's not an it's like a non-issue it'd be more of an issue if
you saw a spider didn't kill it or didn't take it outside and it's like oh by the way I didn't
tell you there's a spider just lurking around our vicinity right yeah yeah I think the difference
is like uh you know I took care of a spider on my own versus like hey I took care of a spider
on my own and then the corner of my eye like your long lost sister stopped by and asked about
you, but I didn't want to say anything.
I didn't want to mention the spider, and then it was kind of all connected.
You know what that weirdly, okay, this is not a tangent, but it makes me think about how
if I ever, especially in my home, experience anything weird that I can't explain, like,
not, I'm not saying paranormal, but if I, like, something happened, like, if I heard a voice
or, like, saw a shadow or something, I'd have to...
I'd have to be damn sure before I tell Courtney, because, like, I'm such a, like, skeptical
person, like not, if I came to Courtney, I was like, yeah, so I saw like a shadow,
I, it, she would never sleep again.
You know what?
Sorry.
No, no, please.
I am, I'm not a paranormal believer myself, but I did see something the other day, and this is a tangent.
I did see something the other day that I was like, that might be, have been a skin walker.
Really?
So I, um, I hear the doorbell ring and I'm like not expecting anybody, but I'm like right next to
the door.
and I'm like, if it's like a solicitor or something,
like I don't want to hear it,
like if anybody needs me,
like a friend will call usually first.
But I hear the person outside the door
just like rifling it off,
literally just going like, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello,
hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello,
and it was just like,
you don't know what you're saying.
Like, this is not language for you,
you're mimicking the human speech to try to get me.
It was so creepy,
and I, like, ended up looking outside of the window
and it was like a guy holding a pamphlet,
and he's just sort of like, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello.
Is it a guy maybe who's just working through the social interaction?
He's just practiced.
I don't know.
It might, literally probably.
The problem is whenever there's certain scenarios
where a human being becomes twice as scary.
Yeah.
At your front door, 10 times is scary.
I walk in down the street,
you come across a person, they go, hey, how's it going?
I'm not scared of them.
The second my doorbell rings, and someone is standing right there, I'm like,
it's terrifying.
Dude, do you know a YouTuber Chad Chad?
Chad and someone else whose name I forgot, and I feel really bad about it, just did a video
about, like, the door-to-door solicitors and, like, you know, they have their own training
videos on TikTok and stuff, but they're talking about, like, I mean, and also like both
people, you know, hosting it are women, so they're like, do you understand how terrifying
this is and how scary it is that like core concept you're trying to get me out of the house.
Like scary for anybody, but especially women. It's like, I'm not going to answer the door. And I'm not
gonna like, is your husband home? It's like, I'm not gonna fucking tell. No, he's right here.
It's another one of those weird things too where, uh, back when I was a kid, back in like the day,
it was far more common because like there wasn't as many ways to like talk to people, right?
Like there was cold calling, but you only had a home phone. So you had far more. So you had far more.
people coming to your front door. Like as a, when I was a kid, it felt like there were people at
our front door all the time. Really? Yeah. Um, it just felt like compared to now. Nowadays, if someone's
at your front door, it's like, why are you here? Immediately I'm like, something's wrong. There are,
like, you're going to be contacted a million ways before someone comes to your door unannounced.
So I'm, I am super like freaked out about it every time. If you'll allow me to backpedal a little
because I want to go back to the paranormal of it all.
Because I literally got obsessioned by Raven.
What?
Like a month ago.
It was so...
You made a wish?
Did you broke your willow?
No.
So we're like, it's like the middle of the night.
I hear, there's like a lamp in the corner of the room, and I hear it get bumped, and I look up,
and there's just straight up a shadowy figure next to the lamp.
And I just like, and I'm like, I don't know what's going on, and I'm just like looking at it.
and it starts to move.
Oh my God.
And I was like,
and it's just like,
all I see is just a shadowy blob.
And I literally was like,
there's like the hat man is like in my room.
Like there's a shadow person.
And then like gets in front of like the,
and like opens like the door to my room like starts to open.
And then I see there's like a little bit of like ambient light coming out from like our living room.
And I see that it's Raven.
And I like genuinely my heart was beating so fast.
I hadn't.
And she got up and I didn't.
hear her. And then you turn over and Raven's
right there in bed. She's right there in bed.
No, but yeah, I like turned over
and checked and she wasn't there. And I like let out
like a sigh of relief where I was like
and like, I was prepared to like tell Raven the next day and be
like, I saw a shadow monster last night in the room. I don't want to tell her about the
spider, but the shadow monster, she should know.
But she like bumped the lamp and then like froze. So all I hear is the lamp
bump and then I just see a figure just standing in the corner and I
was genuinely like so scared. You know what is a good thing
to have both by front door and maybe by bed, you have a baseball bat, but what you do is you
put a tube sock on the end of it. Because that way, if someone's trying to get you and they
try to grab the bat from you, the tube sock slips right off and you get an extra little sleep.
And they like jerk it off. Yeah, they jerk off the bat a little bit. Yeah. You're not really
expecting that. You're not expecting it. Yeah, you pull out a little vampire bat. They're like,
they're like, well, I'm just going to go now. So that's probably the mainliest thing about
When I was a kid,
I remember my dad had a couple of baseball bats in his office.
Like, I think they were, like, signed by one of the, like,
by Steve Louisville Slugger.
Arizona Diamondbacks.
And, like, someone had given them to him.
And whenever at night I would hear a noise,
I would definitely go and just grab one of them and just be like,
and the most, it was very chosen.
Like, when I would hear a noise,
I would always go up to, like, the corner of a wall and, like,
position myself against the wall to, like, look around
the corner as if I'm like strategically looking over there and I would have my my dog would walk out and he'd be like what the fuck is going on and I'd be like check check around the corner for me go get help boys he's like fucking leaves I'm like you're going on your lays down I remember one time with an ex-girlfriend we were in bed at her place and I hear like three huge bangs that sound like they're at you know her front door and it's not the biggest apartment and we're both just like what the fuck and I'm in the position of like oh I'm going to have to go check
this and I'm like, I'm not equipped or qualified to do this.
Like, shit, so I check and, you know, everything's fine.
But it turned out, seeing a news article the next day, there was like a drive-by shooting
on the freeway, which was close to, like, the window where our heads were.
And so, like, what I heard was just the sound coming through, like, that, but, like,
the gunshots happened right there.
And it made me realize, I'm like, yeah, I super wasn't equipped for anything.
Like, that was the idea of a gunshot, and I wasn't equipped for that.
But, like, anybody actually being.
there. It's pretty scary.
Do you keep, do you guys keep anything by the bed, like, actually?
Because I kind of have a little metal rod that I don't know where it's from.
Oh.
I'm pretty sure it's like from like, okay, no, I do remember what it's from.
It was from very long ago.
We got like an outdoor like patio set and it had like this metal supporting bar that I
forgot to put in, but that like wasn't really necessary.
Smash cut to like someone trapped in the fucking scene.
We're like sitting and like it was basically like this tiny little support and I was like okay it doesn't actually it's like not actually super necessary
But it kind of has like it's just like a really like stiff metal rod that has like this little thing on the end that's kind of a handle and I was like well I guess I'll just keep it under my bed because who knows
This is my beat you up stick literally I have a beat you up stick. It's your tallywacko. It's like I have a I have a carambit. It's like a curved knife thing and I keep it just in the drawer by the bed like not that I'm going to be like in the perfect presence of mine to be like oh
open the drawer, open the subtake off the cover, but like...
Is it a marble fade or...
Is it like a Doppler?
Yeah, it's a pretty good like CSGO skin.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's pretty sick.
It's, uh, what's the one you like?
Yeah, it's that one.
Black ice?
Yeah, it's that one.
Yeah.
Rainbow Sixthes go.
Oh, is that, I don't know.
I don't know.
I'm joking.
No, I was joking.
I was joking too.
I don't, I don't have any CSGO knives, unfortunately.
I don't have any drip in CSGO, so...
I, uh...
I'm a larper.
I typically do carry, like,
like I have like a pepper spray near my my bed, which is like, I know it's like, oh, that's
gonna fuck up everything, but it's like, it's something.
I always have my like plan, right?
Because like, for me, I'm like, all right, if someone were to come into my apartment,
I would hear them coming up the stairs.
And so I'd get to the top of the stairs and just spray down and then be like, all right,
that turned on the AC, so it blows it down.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then I have paint cans on strings and I throw down.
Yeah.
easily kill him. For the longest time, too, I had,
I think I still have it somewhere,
I did have, like, a taser.
And that shit scared me. Like, I would, because I'd be like,
I need to test this out to make sure it works. And so I'd, like,
press the button and just like,
you're like, oh, like, it freaks me the fuck out.
Yeah, that's terrifying. I keep giving them away, though.
Like, anytime a femme friend is like,
this creepy guy said something to me at a thing, I'm just like,
well, I've got an extra one of these and here you go.
Yeah, take it. Like, you should have this and please take it.
but it doesn't work on ghosts.
Yeah.
I see, I would
wonder if it does
because like Ghostbusters
shot electricity
out of their backpacks
and whatnot.
Yeah.
Maybe a taser could,
I mean, it's probably better
than a punch.
I think it could.
Hmm.
Yeah.
I thought you were talking
about the pepper spray.
I was like,
I think the pepper spray
would go through the ghost.
Oh, it probably would go through
the ghost.
Probably go through the taser.
Unless it's Danny Phantom,
in which case he's just like,
ow, fuck.
Yeah.
You're gonna catch them all.
I,
he's Danny Phantom.
I'm very grateful
that I have not ever
experienced anything
remotely like pepper spray.
Because people talk about it like it is the worst shit
ever. I chop an onion that's a little too pungent and I'm
bawling. Same. Dude.
Pepper spray directly to the eyes?
I got bamboozled by a TikTok where it was like
cooking tip. If you're cutting an onion,
keep a wet paper towel near it because
the moisture is what draws in that stuff from the onions and that's why
it goes directly to your eyes. And so I was just like,
yeah, I got this. Watch this.
Cut an onion immediately. I'm like, ha!
That didn't work at all.
It didn't work at all.
Every chef I've ever asked is like, hey, there's just like a fun, like, hey, do you have
any, like, tips for, like, cutting, like, or not crime while you cut onions?
And every person ever was just like, ah, you just cry until you stop.
Yeah, just, like, I don't know, just like therapy.
Just deal with it, man.
If it's a really bad onion, you just, you just kind of power through.
Isn't, isn't legitimately the way to avoid it the best is to have a better knife?
Like, the sharper the knife, the less spray you're going to get, like, because it's
slicing through and not smashing.
Yeah.
As much, like, that is theoretically, I mean, like a cleaner.
The best version.
This episode of Smoshmouth is sponsored by Three Day Blinds.
Unsurprisingly, I've been sleeping odd hours because I have a child to take care of.
And I'm not talking about my son.
Shane.
I'm talking about Shane.
Sometimes I wake up because the sun is blasting in my eyes.
Finally, I said, enough is enough.
And went to Three Day Blinds to get some help.
Three Day Blinds is the leading manufacturer of high-quality custom window treatments in the U.S.
They're so easy to use.
All you need to do is hop online and work with a professionally trained design consultant
that will provide all the guidance you need.
With three-day blinds, there's a better way to buy blinds, shades, shutters, and drapery.
Not only are my three-day blinds practical, but they look great.
And if you're curious about my sleep, now that I have three-day blinds, I'm sleeping like a rock.
Thank you very much.
Right now, get quality window treatments that fit your budget with three-day blinds.
head to three day blinds.com slash smoshmouth for their buy one get one 50% off deal on custom blinds,
shades, and drapery. For a free, no charge, no obligation consultation, just head to three dayblinds.com
slash smoshmouth. One last time, that's buy one, get one, 50% off when you head to the number three,
D-A-Y, blinds.com slash smoshmouth. Back to the show, right, Shane? He's not here. It's just me.
Since we have, we've posed this before, but what is your ranking?
Because, okay, some backstory here.
Forever ago, we had Angela on, and we were talking about ranking dessert categories.
Oh, yeah, I saw that.
And there was a lot of crazy shit said there.
Yeah, you guys all slandered.
Everyone's slandered pie, by the way.
Oh, I didn't slander pie.
Everyone else but you slandered pie.
I respect pie.
Now, I don't know where it ranks on my list, but it, I would rank it.
I think I would rank it above cake.
I feel like every couple months in this office,
someone says, someone asks me,
is pie cake? And every time I'm like,
pie's not cake. No, not at all.
I think the argument was pie is closer
to pastry. But Angela was there, and she was
like, no, absolutely not. Yeah, ridiculous.
Yeah, Angela, I don't know why
when this topic comes up, she wants to be so wrong.
Angela has some, like, really hard
opinions that are just, like,
set and they're firm, and they're not going to change.
And they're just sometimes, like, you just got to...
It's like pie is cake and can't.
Canada shouldn't be a country.
No, I'm just kidding.
It's like, Angela, stop.
It's like, I hate the Magna Carta.
That sucks.
No, okay.
So, because for me, I was saying,
ice cream number one.
Ice cream is number one.
I'd maybe put cookie number two.
Okay.
And then I'm not sure.
Then it's like kind of,
it kind of blends in like,
you know, you think like brownies, delicious.
Yeah, it's tough because it,
I mean, so much of it comes down to,
like, yeah, what are your categories?
Like, really what are.
Because there's so many desserts.
I love cookies.
Cookies are big ones for me.
I do also love ice cream.
I love custard-based desserts.
I do too.
It's like a creme brle.
Your creme brleys and your flons,
like I love a custard man.
Okay, so can we agree flan is number one?
Can we just say that?
Flon could be high up.
Flon could be high up.
Flon is high up for sure.
I made flan once.
Really?
I did okay.
Flon is tough.
I made flan recently.
It is a tricky little...
I messed up a little bit on the sugar.
like the timing of it
but it was still delicious
the flon itself
the custard
I worked I'm that that consistency was good
yeah oh yeah
that's the one thing I can make well
yeah that's true Selena you've made it before
I don't even I don't even believe
you Selena you'd have to
you'd have to bring that in
if I would believe you
and you made it differently than how I saw a recipe for it
because you make it in like a steamer
whereas I made it in the oven
like with a pan with like water on it
yeah Bain Marie you can do it
It's essentially the same thing.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's just, like, getting a lot of, like, moisture in there as it's cooking so that it doesn't, like, dry out and it stays, like, creamy and soft.
I love a custard, man.
I do, too.
I really like custard-based things.
I like, I like, I really like baked goods.
Like, I grew up, you know, one town over from this bakery, like, this guy from Germany, just moved to a small town in Georgia and made this awesome bakery.
And it's, like, a little, like, a key lime tart or, like, a petty four.
Yeah.
or a little
Eclere or
Canoli
Canoli like any of those
Is a canoli a pastry
That's a
Canoli?
Yeah I probably qualified as a pastry
Just because of the rapper is like a
It's like a pay I would say it's pastry
Adjacent closer to anything else
Yeah
And to be clear in my daily life
I don't care what something's
Categor
Sure
This is fun for the debate
In my day to day
life, when I'm walking around and I see something that looks delicious, I just eat it.
I eat it and I ask questions later.
I'll grab it, I'll slam it, I'll go, what was that?
I'll be like, I don't know, but you need to pay for it.
And I go, absolutely not.
They're like, that was the bleach that we used to clean this shit.
And you're like, it was spicy and good.
There's never been a dessert menu where I'm like, God, I wish they had a cake option.
I'm like, I'll take one.
I, you want one, I want one, we'll split, we'll share.
I think cake for me can be very, very high up.
But the problem is that it's got the biggest range.
of desserts in terms of... It has the highest variability.
There is some shitty cake, and then there's
also cakes where I'm like, this is changing my life.
Yeah. Cake has such a possibility
of being dry in a way that ruins
it. And I think that's why
I like ice cream so much is that
the floor is so high for ice cream.
That's fair. It's hard for ice cream
to be bad. The median tastiness
of ice cream
is still going to be pretty high. Sheepest, shittiest
ice cream is still going to be pretty good.
And I mean, also, like, if you're going to restaurants
with cake specifically,
It's probably pretty rare that a restaurant is making their cakes from scratch.
Most of the time, restaurants are like getting frozen cakes and then having those and like serving
those.
And there are a lot of like really good cakes that I've had that I know for a fact.
They're like, oh, this is frozen.
Like I used to work at a restaurant that we would get these.
They were really good cakes, but they did come frozen and we'd serve those.
And so it's more often than not that something like a custard or like that is getting made in
house or like a souffle.
Like you have to make those fresh.
So cake specifically, you're,
you have more of a chance of getting
something that isn't being made from scratch or fresh.
Because cake is such an ordeal.
Yeah. It's like they don't have room
to do that while also cooking everything else.
I would also guess that it's probably an issue
that like I hope you sell out of the whole cake
for that night. Otherwise you are going to be serving
someone leftover cake or throwing it away.
Like the profit margin is probably not great.
Yeah.
Interesting.
Man, that's the stuff I think.
about that I would never want to be in the restaurant
industry. What a nightmare.
Kitchen nightmares. Kitchen nightmares.
And things like cookie dough, you can just make a fuck ton of it
and then store it. And you can keep it for a while and just
ball it up and just throw cookies in when you're, when it
you need or throw it in that skillet for a little pizuki.
I don't know how they're doing it to the BJs.
Whoa.
You just throw it in that little mouth and have just some cookie dough.
And just you can throw it in that little mouth?
I throw it in my little mouth.
I have trouble with a, I know,
this is a hot take, but I really
like baked goods when they've
cooled down a lot. Like, I love a
relatively chilled cookie.
Like, not cold necessarily,
but, like, it's been out of the fridge for, like,
10 minutes, but, like, a fresh, hot,
like, I think very warm
chocolate, whether it's, like, hot chocolate
on a souffle, or even
on a Sunday, or, like,
half-melted chocolate chip cookie does.
I think it overpowers everything else, and I just
kind of taste the melty chocolate. That is a hot
take, I think. No, and you know what, Damien, I think
on to something there because, I mean, I think this also
might be a hot take. I'm not a big, like, chocolate
lava cake. I am
never gunning for
the chocolate lava cake on a dessert
menu. I'm like, this is chocolate on chocolate.
I don't need molten chocolate coming out of my bread
chocolate. A hundred percent. It's like, that's
just too much chocolate for me. I'll get in
a couple head shakes. You're getting a
Selena, you're a chocolate lava cake fan?
I can do
chocolate lava cake, but it needs the
vanilla ice cream. Yeah.
Which make it work. But I don't even taste the
when it's something like that.
Like, it's just gone.
Vanilla ice cream or a nice cream on glaze.
You want to put a little creme on glaze
on a chocolate lava cake.
I'm more inclined.
Yeah, you've got to have cream on your glaze,
otherwise it's not good.
And you're always saying that.
I've always said that.
I know it's Korean English.
I get it.
But see, I love a warm, soft cookie.
Oh, yeah.
Like, that's the ideal version.
Yeah.
Well, you eat yours now.
I'll let mine cool down,
and then I'll have mine later,
and you can watch.
And then we'll get to my hot take,
which is how long do you microwave your ice cream for?
I watched this podcast and I was screaming.
So you were upset by this.
Yeah, I watched it because I was there.
I watched it back too.
I got a clip of it.
Wait, so we're going round two.
I wasn't there and I didn't watch it.
So you're microwaving it in, are you talking about in the tub?
So it's this is specifically when you have a pint.
You can't bring that in your tub.
You can't bring that in your tub.
Specifically, this is specifically when you have a pint of ice cream that is in your own personal freezer.
and you bring it out of the freezer
and before you
spoon it up, you
put it in the microwave. But you do
it twice. Okay, hold on.
I specifically do it
for five seconds. I take it out
kind of see if the consistency's
good and then I typically will put it in
for five seconds more. I don't want to spend...
Because for some reason, ten seconds
straight up in the microwave is hotter than
five seconds to take a break. It is different.
It's scientifically, yeah. It kind of like multiplies
upon itself. I don't know how microwaves work
I don't ask questions
but it speeds up the molecules
in there like and
heats it up that way
oh sorry
that's the magic for me up until
I'm kidding
they spin a little faster
and it's I know that it's like
it's like the water of it all like right
isn't it or is it just
I think it's all the molecules
I mean probably the water does most of the heavy lifting
but yeah I think it's all just like
and just yeah
badass and see I like my ice cream
fast
yeah you like it fast
I think there are certain
ice creams that
could use that. Like, you get a pint
of ice cream. Not all pints are the same
hardness. True. Sometimes you get a pint of ice cream and that shit is soft
as hell right out of the tub and I'm like
when I get it from, when I like order it or
I bring it home, it's the perfect
texture. Yeah. But once I have it in the freezer for a night,
then it's way too hard. It's just not fun. I like
the hard cold ice cream. I don't get it, man.
I really, but I really like the cold though. I will, like, I've been
traveling a lot and every time I go to the hotel I'm like
how far will the thermostat allow me
to lower this?
I don't like it on my teeth. My teeth hurt.
Well, that part hurts, yeah. I don't have to bite ice cream.
It's kind of why I guess another hot take is I don't like
ice cream like bars.
Anything that comes on a popsicle stick?
Same. I'm not too interested in it.
Unless it's a funny little joke. Unless it's silly.
Yeah, no, I think I'm less inclined to microwave
than I am to pull it out and let it sit for a few
minutes. Like, while if I'm like
watching a show. Where is all this patience coming
There were so many comments. People were upset.
And so many people were like,
why don't you, someone said, like, leave it
out like an adult for like
a half an hour. And I was like, what
is it that putting it in the microwave
is worse than letting it sit out?
Like, isn't it the same?
It's the same result.
No, I mean, you're just getting like, with a microwave,
you're going to be getting
unequal levels.
Fair. Also, here's
what I'll say. I feel like it's manlier
to put something in the microwave because
you're tall. Kids are short and can't put stuff
in the microwave. They have to weigh.
Microwaves are for adults only.
Here's the power move. Put it in an easy
bake oven for 25
minutes, maybe. And then
that'll start to melt a little bit. Or just get
a hot light bulb and just hold it over.
Yeah. Get your iPhone flashlight out
and just hold it on it. Get your green
laser pointer. Just like focus on one
spot. Just really hold it there. It really
works. I open up the pint and I just go
Yeah.
Over and over again. Yeah.
Can I tell you guys a deep dark secret?
Yeah.
Okay.
All right, next topic.
When I was a kid, my parents were obviously very, like, fiscally minded when it came to not turning on the AC, but it was hot as fuck in Georgia growing up.
And, like, the AC was on, but, like, just not, I needed it, like, blowing because I was so, you know, hot all the time.
Yeah, dude.
Anyway, and so I would sneak out of bed, go up to the thermostat, and not change it.
I would just go...
against it to make the temperature rise.
I'd be like, okay, that's going to buy me like 10 minutes of cooling.
You're manipulating your AC.
Yeah.
That's awesome.
I didn't touch it.
That's so funny.
You found a workaround.
I did.
That's awesome.
Thanks, man.
I'm kind of a renegade.
That's incredible.
That's so smart.
Wow.
Do you remember what temperature you guys had it set at?
My parents had it set at like a reasonable temperature.
It was somewhere between 72 and 74.
I don't know.
But it was also like human.
and I'm like bad with...
No, dude, in Florida, like, whenever I would visit there,
it's crazy how, like, the air is thick.
Yeah.
So when you're asleep at night, it kind of feels like you already have a blanket on.
Yeah.
Before you get under a blanket.
And now me sleeping in a sleeping bag for a long time.
Starting to make sense, huh?
A little...
Damien, you would love my parents.
They keep the house so cold.
I probably would.
They raised a good lead.
Yeah.
Well, mostly for the cold part of the house cold part.
So every time I go home and visit, I'm like, I just have to ask for, like, three
extra blankets.
Even in the wintertime, the thermostat's just at like 6-7.
What a dream.
Wow, 60s.
That's why.
Yeah, it's crazy.
They just are always blowing that.
I...
Cold easy.
I think I have a hot household now.
We have it consistently.
A lot of times it's at like 74.
You and Courtney, I'd say you're pretty beautiful people.
Thanks.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Birdie and bones drag it down a little bit.
Little bit.
Ugly cats.
Bugged up ugly cats
When I lived in that backhouse
When we were roommates together
And I lived in that
Because the AC didn't really work
In our entire house
Right
But I lived in the back house
That had no AC
And it was cement walls
I got
I was kind of like
I prided myself on
For that like year
I got so good at handling
Extreme pressures
Definitely bad
But like in summer
Because it had a skylight
And no AC
And cement walls
It was actually an oven
You're kind of just an experiment
For the greenhouse effect
in that you kind of lived in a greenhouse.
What happens to a person?
And it would genuinely, it would be like
90 degrees in my room.
It was wild.
And I would be in there with just like,
I had like three different fans
just blowing directly on me and I was just there
just drenched in sweat.
You got to be like past the wet bulb temperature there.
What was going on?
You're like close to death.
Somehow and I got through.
But since then I could handle.
Because before that, I think in my apartments
I kept it cold.
And then after that, I've been able,
like, I'm like 75.
It feels amazing in here.
I think you transcended.
Yeah.
And also, to be clear, we did have AC, and it worked great.
None of the other roommates wanted to pay for it, because all of us were broke.
I was still like, this will be the one luxury I pay for, please.
But everybody sort of had to be in agreement because we were splitting the costs.
Yeah, that's tough.
I had that before with a roommate where they were like, yeah, it's summertime.
It's 85 degrees out.
Let's just set that shit at 77.
And I'm like, can we at least get it to like 72?
like I will pick up some extra, but, and it also sucked because my room had direct sunlight for like over half the day.
And his didn't, his didn't have any direct sunlight.
And so I'm like, my room is getting baked through my window.
And I'm like, believe you.
This was literally like a roommate conflict that I did, a Miles Bonsignore's, like, Losh, Justice Miles.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
That was one of the, like, roommate things that we had to, like, debate against.
And it's hard to find what works for everybody.
I will say something that people don't always realize
is it takes more energy to cool something down
than it does to keep it maintained.
So like, it's worse when people are like,
no, we have to like turn it off overnight
and then we can turn it on again at this point.
It's like, no, just let it be at like,
if you wanted to be 74, great.
But like turning it down to 77 and then having to deal with it
up and down is getting worse.
Thermostat.
That's all my manly stuff.
Very manly.
We did talk about thermostats.
Yeah.
Thermostats are pretty manly.
I think leather crafting, which I used to do is maybe stereotypically manly,
but most of the people I worked with, almost all the other people I worked with were women.
What's the manliest thing you've leather crafted?
When I first got my own, like scraps from the shop and, you know, just tried to fiddle around with stuff and see what I could do.
Oh, two things.
One, like an Assassin's Creed gauntlet.
It's not good at all, but it was my first time trying to make a thing.
It was just pretty sick.
Manly.
But the other one was an anniversary gift for my then-girlfriend.
I, like, crafted a book cover for her.
And it wasn't good, but still, it was like,
I'm going to make this about your favorite book,
and I'm going to make a little book cover.
That's awesome.
Doing something special and kind for your partner that you know they'll appreciate.
That's maybe one of the manliest things that you can do.
Extremely manly manly.
I agree with you.
Yeah.
So we got some Ask Men Reddit posts here.
Dude.
Selina found a bunch of posts.
Hell yeah.
Hey, I thought this was smash mouth, not lettuce stories.
Oh, shit.
But actually here, we're going to be just answering questions.
Hey, die, die, die, die, da, da.
Selina, that's pretty proactive of you.
Thanks for being so manly for our show.
Wow.
Give up for Celina.
Give up for Celina.
For the number one guy in the world.
That's a manly guy.
Actually, I did have, the only, like, question that I had for this episode.
I've been thinking about this lately.
is Amanda's not here,
but is there an anime that you think Amanda would like?
I think Amanda would legitimate,
she likes spooky stuff.
I think she'd be down for like the first season
of Attack on Titan.
I think when it gets in all the politics stuff,
she might be like, what is going on?
But like, what?
No, no, it's just like,
my brain went in a completely different direction.
Okay.
Just because Amanda likes smut
And so I was like
Something a little smutty
Give her some fucked up stuff
Like so fucked up like
I haven't seen this
So if it's actually terrible
Please just I haven't seen it
But food wars
I know that's the one where they're like cooking
But it makes them like horny to cook
Yeah
I think
Yeah see some shit like that
I think she would find like
Kind of a sick and twisted enjoyment in
Like I don't know what Amanda's opinions are
But do you think that she kind of
Do you think she'd be like a huge
I just I just I don't know
I don't know if the way that anime goes about, like, horny stuff, if that would be her vibe.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Because, like, I know the books that she reads.
The way she describes those, I'm like, I don't know if it's the way it's gone about.
But there's a few that I've been thinking about.
One is genuinely, like, the classic version of Death Note.
I think she would actually like Death Note a lot.
You're right.
She loves true crime.
And that's such a fun, like, twist on it.
You are 100% correct.
But then anything that deals with the supernatural, I genuinely wonder if she would like, like, like,
Jutsu Kaisen.
Because it's just, I know that it's mostly action, but it's like the fact that it's like,
oh, we're cursed, we see demons, like all this stuff.
I think she'd like that part, but I think when the fight goes on, I could literally see her going like,
I don't know what those boys are doing.
Okay, what's going on here?
Where's the one with the white hair?
I want to talk to him.
Yeah.
I think she could legitimately like maybe some Tokyo ghoul.
I think, oh, sorry.
I think I figured out my number one, but go ahead.
I just finished the first season of Witch Hat Atelier, which I recommend to any
buddy, I think it's great.
I've heard Vinland Saga.
Yes. You are correct.
Big, big Viking men.
Yeah. So which she'd be like, okay, I'm interested in that. And then it's also
just very, like, it feels more like it reads like an HBO show.
It's well written. It's about this person's journey from like being a warrior to like,
you know, what happens when that's over. Like, who are you as a person? What do you do and what
do you leave in the world? Like, it's... I think that's my number one pick.
Definitely let me know in the comments.
Freerun.
Freeran is great.
I thought about Freeran too. Yeah.
I'm seeing some nods from Eric.
Freeran, that's for, I have only seen the first season, but I talked to you about it.
I thought that was incredible.
Freeran is just, I think, a masterpiece of a show.
It's for the quickest, do you know it at all?
No.
It's a beautiful premise.
The quickest breakdown possible is it's about like a group of warriors fighting the Demon King
and the show starts when they are done.
Like, they've succeeded.
in their quest, the world is saved, so what do you do afterwards? And Freerin is an elf. So
all her human companions like grow old and eventually pass away. And she's an elf sort of looking
around being like, well, what's left? What are the connections I make? What matters? You know,
with the time that I have, which is so much longer than everyone else. So it's literally about grief
and finding joy in little things. And like, it's beautiful. It's insanely existential.
It's so good. Watching it, I was like, whew, this is without, it's not even, it's not even,
Episodes aren't even heavy in like
its dialogue or experience,
but the meaning behind it all feels so heavy.
There was this one anime that I watched
when I was in high school,
and it was like,
it was like big, big anime
booby vampires.
And I don't remember the name.
Rosario Vampire?
Yeah, that's the one.
Which to be clear, I also haven't seen,
but you just know the name.
It wasn't good, but it was like,
but if I did watch it by the way
none of your fucking business but yeah
let me do that yeah it like wasn't
good but I watched it and I was like yeah
there's an anime
sick Bokuno yaboes
last thing is I think
Delicious and Dungeon Amanda would really like
but it would probably be weird for her to hear my voice
but I think that's a show I recommend to
anybody whether you watch it in English or not
it's got such a fan base
I think it's really good like I've read it all
again to take my part
in it completely out,
listen to it in a different language,
I think it's a great show.
Oh, which reminds me,
I don't know,
because I don't know, like,
the NDAs of it all,
but if I could be specific,
I did do my first,
I did do my first anime dubbing.
Yeah.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
It was a small,
small little role,
but I got to go and do the whole experience,
and it was so much fun.
And it was trippy.
Like, it's trippy,
like, the way that they do it.
Yeah.
I had no idea, kind of.
I think I was picturing
classic voiceover where it's like
you're there with your little podium
and your sides and you're just reading them
and then I'm like, I get there, I'm like,
oh right, it's anime, so it's already been filmed.
It's already been voiced over technically.
So I have to watch the show
while matching to the mouth.
And it was such a cool experience.
So you have like a teleprompter,
but you're basically just watching the show
and just saying the lines at the same time.
Yeah.
It was very fun.
And I kind of like,
as I was going, I was like, understanding
more and more of, like, the
anime voice of it all. Yeah.
The anime tone of it. And I found
myself getting more, because there was a line where
it was just like something like, you know, it's like,
wait, you can't do that or something
like that. And like, she's like, the
director was like, can you give a little bit more of like this
emotion or something? And like, I found myself
in a more genuine way, but like
sounding more and more like the,
I was like, oh, I'm sounding like an anime character.
Yeah, yeah. I have to, in order to
get this point across.
and get this emotion across.
That's awesome.
It's really cool.
And like the layer of translation
also makes you understand like,
oh, we're trying to like switch
languages while still getting the point across,
matching it to the mouths.
Yeah, they used to just match time
and now a lot of things like match mouths
where they're like, oh, you can't say popcorn
because their mouth is like open wide the whole time
and there's no like,
you're not making like a pea shape for popcorn.
So let's instead say like, oh, snacks
where your mouth is like fully open.
It's a really interesting.
vibe. The other part of this is that, again, I don't know the NDA stuff yet, but I know the show is out. So look on our socials for the info. You probably already know it. But Shane and I get to play off of each other as a little duo. It's like a small role in the show, but it's a really cool thing. It was really cool. Because when I did my session, you had already gone in and recorded your lines. And so I got to hear like, in between my lines, I got to hear Damien's talking. And I'm like, it was really. It was really.
cool. That's awesome. I had a lot of fun
and I hope to do more of it.
It was kind of a spur of the moment
thing like it wasn't, it's not something I was
actively trying to seek out but it was such a cool
opportunity and I'm so grateful for it.
The director, do you mind if I share the part?
So the director is somebody that
directed me on a season of a show previously
and like through our time together she was like
so I looked up this stuff like this smosh stuff
that you do like that looks like a lot of fun.
I'm like, oh yeah, I've been doing it for like a long time
and the people are great and she's like, that's so cool.
like, yeah, I saw a couple videos pop up, and I was like, this is really fun.
And so eventually when like this happens and we're, you know, working as a duo in this thing,
she was like, yeah, I saw these two characters in the show.
And I, like, remembered watching you and your friend Shane on Smosh.
And I was like, well, this is the kind of dynamic that I think would really work.
And so, you know, so she made it happen.
And that was like, it's funny how things like that work.
Yeah.
It was really sick.
I'm really stoked about it.
So I haven't watched it yet, but I'm excited to.
Oh yeah, we reserve the right to cut all this if we're ass in it.
Yeah, yeah.
If we suck, you gotta let us know.
But it was hard.
It was definitely a challenge.
I was like, damn.
Well, I heard you did fantastically well.
Thanks, man.
Yeah.
This episode of Smoshmouth is sponsored by ORAFrames.
Let's take a break from talking about men, shall we?
I want to celebrate the women in my life.
I was at home walking by my kitchen counter and a photo of Angela and I popped up on my
aura frame.
It was from a few years ago being silly in our hotel room at a convention.
and I automatically smiled.
Then a photo of my sisters and I popped up from a family vacation we took years ago,
and it immediately sent me down memory lane.
ORAFrames makes it easy for me to enjoy all my favorite photos.
Let's be real.
I have a lot of photos and videos of my family and friends.
Some would say too many, and I would say, not enough.
ORAFram's unlimited storage allows me to enjoy all of them.
ORAFrams is ComTech certified,
which means it brings meaningful memories in a way,
that feels ambient and additive. I actually got an aura frame from my grandmother and she lives
across the country, but I can send her pictures and videos of my son whenever I want, and it's
really, really sweet. Named number one by wirecutter, you can save now by visiting oraframes.com.
For limited time, listeners can get $35 off select frames, plus free shipping with code smoshmouth.
That's A-U-R-A-Frams.com. Promocode smoshmouth. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout.
Terms and conditions apply. Back to the show.
Anyways, did we want to move on to some advice?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Advice. All right. A lot of it.
Okay. First question that was asked is,
what's one thing that you've gotten better at with age that you didn't expect?
Jacking off.
Mm. Good one.
I can get you another five seconds.
Like a quick draw cowboy.
Sorry.
That wasn't a manly joke.
That was a boyish joke, and I apologize.
Oh, fair.
I apologize.
I think the idea of letting someone have an emotion or an idea or an idea about you without it being in your control at all.
Yeah.
I used to be really worried about like, I have to over explain and, you know, no, no, no, this isn't what I meant.
Or like, wait, why does that person think that about me?
I've never even met them.
Oh, this person said that thing.
I've gotten to the point where I'm like, hey, you know, sometimes people, you know, sometimes people,
are going to have their opinions. Not everyone is going to like you even if they do know you well
and understand you. Just maybe you don't vibe. Or if someone who's like, I heard a rumor about them,
it's like, well, that's kind of not, I certainly can't control what kind of conversations happen
in the privacy between two people. Like, I get, that's just how it is, I guess. And not letting that
take over my brain. Yeah, I think a lot of, I'm sure what a lot of the replies on this are and
a lot of what like comes to mind is more of like emotion regulation. Yeah. Like,
When I was, dude, when I was in my early, when I was just a kid and then my teenage years and early 20s, like, I remember anxiety and nervousness paralyzing me.
Like to the point, it was truly like, I've talked about a lot where I'm like a lot of auditions back when I was a teenager.
I'm like, I basically would black out.
Same.
I'm so nervous that I wouldn't.
And then I like, this, this was like, it hasn't changed much in like the past 10 years.
But I reached a point.
I think eventually maybe a lot of it helped with Smosh, like doing so much here.
that I'm just like, it's kind of just been beaten out of me in a way where I'm just like,
I have failed enough now where failure doesn't scare me like it used to.
Yeah.
And I think, yeah, no, I totally agree.
I think for me, like, graduating high school and growing up and, like, getting more confident,
just in general, I've, like, looked back and been like, oh, like, with, like, even, like,
basketball.
Like, I think I'm, I'm, like, better at basketball now than I was.
and I think it's like 90% of it is me just being more confident.
And same thing with like singing and performing.
It's like I think that I had like the skills and like the talent.
But I was just so in high school,
I was so insecure.
Yeah, like so focused on what other people were like thinking of me
that like as I've grown up and gotten more confident
and just been like more sure of myself.
It's like I've just gotten better at those things.
Yeah, I don't know.
Just become more confident with age.
Yeah, it's it's making me think right now.
it's like almost like
the thing back in the day
used to always be like
oh you need to take all those opportunities
and fail so that you're
at least you're trying and like you're
going to succeed if you keep trying at things
and I'm like even if you're not succeeding
like to fail a bunch is nice
so that failure doesn't hurt as hard
like you'll like build up a tolerance
for it because in life like there's going to be
countless failures that's like part
of it but
the more you avoid it the less capable
you are of handling it
and it's very free
to be able to handle failure.
Yeah.
Whenever anybody asks at a con, like, you know, what's acting advice you'd give?
I always say to, like, do improv, take improv classes, learn about that because it is learning
how to fail.
Yeah.
And I think learning how to fail is so important where it's like, you know, you go for a big joke
and not a single person laughs and then you can laugh at yourself.
Like, that is such a big skill as opposed to like, oh, fuck, I didn't do it right.
Yeah.
You know, I've botched some auditions.
Like, I had an audition that I had like a callback for and I was for a project I was already
excited about before I even had the audition. This was like a few years back. And like I went into
the callback and I walked out of it being like, oh, that was awful. Like I did a really bad job at
this callback. Oh, well, like, you know, that's next. And that's just how it goes. Yeah, I mean,
auditions in general are such a like, it's such a cringy thing, right? Like it is. Like, and you have
to just go like, yeah, that's what's up. And I have, I have no choice but to commit 100% to it. And then
leave it on the dance floor and just move on.
Yeah, I mean, things,
things I think are just like less intense
as I've gotten older.
Yeah.
Like, things just aren't, I don't know.
Let go a little bit more.
30s are better.
Trevor, you're going to love it.
The 30s are better, I think,
just because that is the time when, for me,
like, I stopped caring as much.
Like, I, you know, one example is I grew up in a home
that was very, like, physically fit.
My parents were always in the gym all the time.
I did karate as a kid.
but I was always like a naturally larger person.
Then as like a young adult, I was like so focused on like,
I have to look a certain way, I have to be a certain way,
have to exercise all the time.
If I don't look this level of big in the right areas
and small in the right areas,
then like that's my whole self-esteem.
And like in the past couple years,
I've definitely gained some weight.
And like, sure, I'd like to trim down a little bit,
but there's also another part of me that's like,
I haven't lost all of my confidence in who I am as a person
just because I'm a little heavier now.
Like, that's just kind of where I'm at.
And it's not a reflection on whether or not I'm a lazy person or a valuable person in A, B, and C kind of ways.
It's just like, I don't really give a shit what people think.
Do I feel healthy and good?
I want to get to a place where that's the goal.
Not like, I look this way for people.
And that sort of extends to everything else.
Like, I think that guy's cringy.
Okay, then I guess I'm cringy, but that's fine.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's so much you can't control.
And I mean, especially nowadays with the Internet.
Like, geez.
It's just so much crazier than it ever has been.
It is true.
It's like the more that you just remove like what people say about you is that's their life.
Yeah.
You know.
But yeah.
I feel like as I've gotten older also, I've just become a lot more empathetic.
And I think it's like more like not that I wasn't empathetic before, but it's like what is like my instinctual response to a situation?
Is it first me thinking about like how I feel?
Or is it me trying to be like, okay, let me like approach this and be like, what are all sides of this situation?
Like how can I put myself in this other person's shoes really quick and like feel how they're feeling and then try and like go from there versus like just immediately going into like, well, this is how I feel about that thing or like this is what that made me feel.
It's like, okay, well, it's like me in the middle a little bit.
And I think that like, I don't know.
That's something as I've gotten older is just gotten better at.
That's good.
I think that's that's and that's, I don't.
know if that's fully common because I think empathy is a weird one where I think is a lot of times
as people get older it is also possible for experience to like harden you yeah in ways that are
sometimes good and necessary but also it's like frankly you see some like old people and it's like
dude were you ever empathetic and it's like I wonder maybe not but it's just like you can have
bad experiences and then it makes you lose your trust for other humans I think empathy is also a
muscle I think it's something that you like you said like you are actively being like well how
can I look at this from another side.
We're all gonna have a natural amount of empathy
and caring for other people,
but I think it really does,
you have to work on your emotional elasticity
and really let yourself.
Like that's something that was great
that came from acting classes
because it's like you can sort of put yourself
in these spots without too much work.
Like, you know, I've, again, had people ask me,
like, how do you act and like, how do you prepare
for, you know, these things where you're like doing this scene
and you've never been in that situation before?
I'm like, you don't have to be in that situation.
If you're like, yeah, they're like, you're in space and you're protecting the space station or whatever.
And I've never done that.
It's like, well, yeah, but you know what it's like to want to protect someone you love, right?
Or you know what it's like to have a really strong responsibility and not want to fail in that, right?
Yeah.
That's all you're doing.
And like, you know, I'll cry at everything now.
I'll cry reading something.
I'll cry thinking about something.
It's just like it's not hard to be there.
Okay.
So, Slina found a subreddit that I've never heard of called BroPill.
Oh, no.
Yeah, I know.
It doesn't sound good, but it's it.
Dude, I bought.
It's not, it's fine.
Okay.
Ro pill.
I bought one of those from 7-Eleven the other day.
No, it just, it literally sounds like, oh, he got bro-pill, and now he's super into Andrew
Tate.
Like, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Okay, so someone said, oh, top, this was, this was a question someone posed.
They said, how do I know if I'm one of the good ones for lack of a better sentence?
I always do my best to respect women's personal space and privacy.
But there's always a little nagging voice in my head that tells me I'm not good enough, even though a hug is the most intimate I've ever gotten.
It's just so annoying.
I feel like I'm doing a good job deep down, but my brain is always saying I've messed up.
What do they mean by, are they specifically like trying to be friends with someone and are they like a safe man to be around?
Yeah, I'm assuming that's, I'm assuming that's what they're going for.
Like, am I like, you know, yeah, if I'm, I'm a guy that women can trust and people can trust and stuff.
There's a quote from, I believe it's Pokemon Mystery Dungeon, Explorers of Time.
Uh-huh.
And a bastion of wisdom.
If I remember correctly, that's what it's from.
But basically, the quote is something like, like, if you regret something, like, that shows that you are already a better person.
Like, if you regret something that you've done, that already shows that you were a better person than you were then.
And I feel like that's kind of like a similar thing here.
It's like if you're already thinking about like I want to be a safe space like I'm going like I want to make sure that I am like being one of the good ones then you probably ought like if you're thinking about that. You're probably already 90% better than most people that are not thinking about that or not trying to be like respectful. I think that's a good point. I think I have I have two criteria that I think would be good for this. One, are you open to notes and learning?
Because there's one thing like wanting to defend yourself being like, no, no, no, I am one of the good ones.
Versus like, oh, I didn't realize I messed up or I said that thing that was wrong.
Thank you.
Like, are you safe to talk to about things like that?
That's a big one because it's you wanting to be better versus you needing validation from someone you're supposedly wanting to make comfortable.
So you're already like, please tell me I'm good.
And the other thing is, are you a safe space for others, but specifically women, when there are no women in the room?
Like, if you're just talking to your boys or whatever, is it going to be completely different than how you'd act around a woman?
Are you going to be disrespectful now that it's just the fella is talking?
Right.
I think if it's actually a change that you've made in yourself or like a trait that you have in yourself to, you know, have that actual mindset as opposed to like act properly around someone.
Right.
That's probably a good criteria for that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like only you know your truest deep down intentions.
and POV, right?
It's like, hey man, you know deep down
if you don't have respect for people,
then that's the reality.
He's asking, like, how am I perceived?
And it's like, there's so much you can't control
in so many ways.
But if you know your deep down intentions
and you know them, then like, that's all you can really do.
And then beyond that is like, you know,
asking people their boundaries,
talking to people, like just genuinely having conversations
with people.
and being honest with them and listening to them.
And I think by the sheer fact,
if you are listening and really taking in what people are saying,
that's probably going to be the criteria
that's already going to set you apart.
That's what they said in Pokemon.
I got the quote on my phone or something.
I wish I...
I know what you're talking about.
I've seen that screenshot.
I think it's Grovile.
I think it's...
Damn.
I'm pretty sure it's Grovile at the end of the game
because primal DiLaga is like, I feel bad.
Maybe it's DiLaga.
I don't know.
Those mystery dungeon games,
I never ended up playing them,
but I keep seeing screenshots.
and it's one of those where like, is that really in the game?
Like, same thing with the Final Fantasy Tactics.
There's always screenshots that you see, and it's just like, holy shit, that's pertinent.
Like, there's a quote that's like, if the punishment for a crime is merely a fine,
then it is only a punishment for the poor.
Yeah.
Or that's only a crime for the poor.
And you're like, oh, like it's all that really good social commentary shit.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's a crazy quote.
And it's quoting someone else, and I don't know who it is.
but I'm reading those dungeon crawler Carl books.
Yeah.
They are extremely like about like anti-capitalism vibes.
And there's a quote at the beginning of one of the books from someone.
And it goes, capital punishment just means those without capital are punished.
Something like that.
I was like, damn, okay, shit.
True, there's not a whole lot of.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like, oh yeah, if you're a high up powerful person, you're never going to face capital.
punishment.
But crazy stuff.
Okay, so let's get to a couple of questions
Selena has.
Oh.
This one comes from Selena.
I just saw this category.
Okay.
So Selena goes, what's your actual Roman Empire?
So you know that meme, right?
Like, what do you think about every day?
Is that what that meant?
Yes, it started with a TikTok where someone was saying like, oh, guys, think about the Roman
Empire every day.
That makes so much sense.
And this one girl, I asked her boyfriend.
She's like, do you think about the Roman Empire?
How often do you think about the Roman Empire?
And he's like, every day.
Yeah.
It was like, and so they started,
tons of girlfriends were asking their boyfriends,
and they were all saying that.
And I'm like, I don't think about it every day.
I don't think about it every day.
It's at least once a week.
I'm kidding.
But, um...
The Byzantines, maybe, but the Romans?
Yeah, no way.
Um, I don't know if I have something I think about every day.
I mean, I care about like the voiceover auditions I have,
the well-being of my cats.
I probably think about
something video game
like Pokemon related
Magic the Gathering related every day
but I don't know if I have like
I feel like it changes
like I will always love
Dark Souls and Dark Souls lore
and that's like something I
hugely deep dive into
but like not every day
yeah no I mean I feel the same way
like probably for me
just like pirates but yeah I don't
well I to be fair
probably in the last
few months I've been thinking
about pirates every day
because there's been a lot of pirate themes
going on
My, not like, I'm not like killing anyone or anything.
It's huge a delinium.
You're doing, but you're doing a lot of pillaging, though.
I haven't been, I've been doing some pillaging, no killing, some light pillaging.
Do you guys want to take a boy trip to Nassau?
Dude, that would be sick.
Nassau, I never know how to say it.
To New Providence Island.
Yeah.
Heck yeah, dude.
Um, I guess maybe like, shit.
I'm trying to think like.
Shit is your Roman Empire?
Like, I think about Poole-I.
I don't know.
Historically, I don't know.
But, uh, I don't know, man.
maybe like animals in nature?
I was gonna say animal, like animal facts are fun.
I love animals.
Like, they're just always up there.
I didn't know the exact origin
of the Roman Empire thing.
That's interesting that it's like,
oh, what do you think about the Roman Empire every day?
I was under the impression when I saw it.
It's like, this is a very,
this is like kind of a specific topic or thing
that I really like and have a lot of knowledge about.
That is what it has come to mean.
Yeah.
I just remember that from,
that's what I thought that came from.
But maybe I'm wrong.
I think it kind of boils down
of the same thing
and yeah I guess
like Dark Souls lore
like animal facts
Okay
When I fly now on planes
Even if I don't have my headphones in
I'm like
I'll find whatever like
Animal related documentary they have
And I'll just have it on closed captions
That stuff is good
I'll look at that
There was a four episode thing
About a pangolin
And I'm like
Pengelin
Those are awesome
These guys are sick
Aren't they bipedal
No they got four legs
They have four legs
But don't they like
They effectively walk on their back
Their hind legs
I feel like you're right.
You're right.
But like in a velociraptor kind of way.
Yeah.
Like a Velocer kind of way.
Yeah.
In a Bowser way.
Oh, Celebrity Boy Crush.
Oh, Celebrity Boy Crush.
I've been very open about this in the past.
And I don't think it's changed.
I think it's still Austin Butler.
Okay.
Yeah.
Elvis.
Yeah, Elvis.
Awesome Butler.
Glenn Powell.
I love Glenn Powell.
You're Glenn Powell.
I am.
I do love Glenn Powell for better or worse and R.P.
Been really into Robert Pattinson lately.
Oh, Robert Pattinson rocks.
I love him.
That has to be one of the craziest turnarounds I've ever seen.
Because when I was a teenager, when he was Edward,
dudes, like, it was normal for, like, teenage dudes similar to me to be like,
that guy, that loser, friggin, the vampire guy.
The vampire guy.
But nowadays, every dude loves him.
Like, he is maybe the most universally loved.
Like, every woman and every guy is like, he's awesome.
I've been on my Robert Pattinson shit just so we're clear, though.
I didn't, I'm not, I'm an early adopter.
You're an OG.
I never was a hater of Robert Pattinson.
You're an OG.
I've always fucked with him.
Shoot, I don't know.
Yeah, this is tough.
This is really hard.
Because even if it's like the gender preference that I would want to date, I don't have, like,
cele crushes. I've never been
a huge celebrity crush guy, but I'm just trying to think of
people that I'm just like, whoa, they are awesome.
I think I have more male celebrity crushes.
Yeah? I can't like, if you ask me, like, who my
female celebrity crushes, I'd be like,
I'd have to probably think about it for a sec. But when you said guy, I was like,
well, which one am I on right now?
Specifically, specifically
in Mission Impossible Fallout when Henry
Cable loads his biceps.
When he reloads his biceps, in that brief
two seconds, I'm like, that's the coolest guy on the
planet. Yeah. Like that in that
very moment, I'm like, all right, hell
yeah. You know, I think, I think Keanu
Reeves in like any interview where he's
like going to really like gently give
you some wisdom of the fields
and everyone's like, whoa. Yeah.
That's good stuff. That's a big
one. Yeah. Ryan Gosling in Project
Hail Mary, holy shit. Still haven't seen it.
Oh. Incredibly hot. Actually, I
will say, um,
because people talk about like male gays versus female gays, right?
Yeah. There was a, um,
there was a, we're bringing it full circle. I'm
bringing up Penelope Cruz. Penelope Cruz had a photo shoot that she did where she took the photos
of Javier Bardem, who's her husband, I'm pretty sure. And in these photos, I was generally like,
oh, this is female gays. I get this. I get it. I see it in this. And I talked to Amanda about it
because that's her biggest celebrity crush. And I was like, okay, I see it. He's hot. He's really hot here.
And I understand. I think I get it. Javier Bardem sometimes, definitely. Yeah. Yeah.
Dude, as Anton Shigur.
I was,
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's got that like fuck-ass-ass-bub and he keeps glass in people's brains.
Yeah, yeah, good stuff.
He messed up in skyfall.
Yeah.
He looked, no, no, like, he looked bad.
He's gnarly.
He looked bad in skyfall.
That hair was not for him.
It was not.
And then, like, yeah, I mean, the cyanide pill, like, messed up his face, so, like, I can't
be able to do it for that.
But the hair, we could have been doing something better.
Yeah, it's true.
But he's a good-looking guy.
Anyways, uh, well, gentlemen.
It's been a point.
Pleasure.
Wow.
I feel manly.
I feel pretty manly, too.
I feel really manly, right?
I feel like we never fully define manliness,
but whatever it is, I feel it because I'm here with my friends.
Hey, and that's all that matters.
Being a man is about, is caring about others
and treating, you know, your fellow man with kindness.
Look, here's a situation.
For the duration that you were listening or watching this podcast,
you're a full-grown man.
We're never going to tell you what gender you're supposed to be,
except for this power.
You're a man.
You're a full-grown man.
Right now.
And then once it's over, no longer.
To be a man, you must have honor.
End of list.
End of list.
That is it.
Thank you both for joining me.
And thank you for watching.
We'll see you next Monday.
Well, actually, I won't see you next Monday.
Amanda will see you next Monday.
I won't see you next.
So, Amanda will see you.
Guys, handing it off, Amanda will see you next Monday.
Guys, I don't know who I'm going to see next Monday.
Oh, I'll be in your room.
Yep, he'll be there.
I'm the shadow blob.
That's right.
That's the hat name.
I'm Raven.
Bye.
Hey, Shane, hit me on.
Hit it.
Nice.
Thanks, dog.
We did it.
