Smosh Mouth - #162 - Stupid Questions Only

Episode Date: September 21, 2026

No shame in asking! For a limited time, get 60% off your first order, plus free shipping and free treats for life, when you head to https://Smalls.com/SMOSHMOUTH. Find furniture, decor, and essentials that fit your unique style and budget. Head to https://Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. 0:00 Intro + Book Club episode request!2:04 Intro 2.09:55 Sponsor!11:23 No stupid questions!30:40 Sponsor!31:53 Back to the inquiriesSMOSH MOUTH PODCASTApple: https://apple.co/4fKXdI3Spotify: https://bit.ly/3TamRgMSUBSCRIBE: https://bit.ly/3TvXHJrWEAR OUR JOKES: https://smosh.comWHO YOU HEARShayne Topp // https://www.instagram.com/shaynetopp/Damien Haas // https://www.instagram.com/damienhaas/Amanda Lehan-Canto // https://www.instagram.com/filmingamanda/WHO YOU DON’T HEAR (usually)Director: Selina GarciaEditor: ZGProducer: Amanda Lehan-Canto, Shayne Topp, Selina GarciaPodcasts Producer: Selina GarciaProduction Designer: Cassie VanceArt Director: Adrian Sheen, Erin Kuschner, Josie BellerbyAssistant Art Director: Alexander Norman, Courtney ChapmanProp Master: Lunora Reyes, Emilie Anderson, Abigail Schmidt, Bridgette BaronArt Coordinator: Olivia Doskey-MulvaneyStage Manager: Alex AguilarHMUA: Gabriela VegaDirector of Audio: Scott NeffAudio Technician: Matt TaylorAudio Utility: Dina RamliDirector of Photography: James Hull, Brennan IketaniCinematographer: Eric Wann, James HullCamera Operator: Elaine PuseyCamera Operator: Macy ArmstrongAssistant Director: Tyler M. KennedyExecutive Vice President of Production: Amanda BarnesDirector of Production: Alexcina FigueroaProduction Manager: Tyler M. Kennedy, Jonathan HyonProduction Coordinator: Zianne Hoover, Oliver WehlanderProduction Assistant: Caroline SmithDirector of Post Production: Luke BakerDIT/Lead AE: Matt DuranDIT/AE: Beni Kimuene, Lauren BroussardPost Production Coordinator: Ariana MartinezDirector of IT: Tim BakerIT & Equipment Coordinator: Lopati Ho CheeSound Editor: Gareth HirdDirector of Design: Ness CardanoSenior Motion & Branding Designer: Christie HauckSenior Graphic Designer: Jay TaylorGraphic Designer: Monica RavitchDirector of Channel Operations: Lizzy JonesChannel Operations Manager: Audrey CarganillaChannel Operations Coordinator: Sabrina LiebermanSr. Director of Marketing: Eddie ValcinSocial Media Associate Producer: Peter DitzlerSocial Media Manager: Kim WilbornSocial Media Coordinator: Margaux BernalesSocial Editor: Vida RobbinsMerchandising Manager: Mallory MyersDirector for Business Development: Chloe MaysProducer for Business Development: Liz KummerOperations Manager: Marshall A. PeaseOperations Coordinator: Sara FaltersackFinancial Operations Specialist: Natalie LewisDirector of Talent: Candra NazzaroTalent Coordinator: Danielle MosesPeople & Culture Manager: Katie FinkPeople & Culture Coordinator: Hannah MerrittCEO: Alessandra CataneseExecutive Producers: Anthony Padilla, Ian HecoxCCO: Cory MidgardenEVP of Programming & Development: Kiana ParkerProducer, Special Projects: Rachel CollisExecutive Coordinator: Katelyn HempsteadProgramming Coordinator: Lauren MillerFront Office Receptionist: Kaitlyn EltingOTHER SMOSHES:Smosh: https://bit.ly/4wUu0jHSmosh Pit: https://bit.ly/4aZo6WaSmosh Games: https://bit.ly/3TMpGVhSmosh Alike: https://bit.ly/4hpe1WdFOLLOW US:TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@smoshInstagram: https://instagram.com/smoshFacebook: https://facebook.com/smosh

Guys, before we get into the show, I have something really exciting to tell you. Very soon, we're going to be doing a special book club episode of Smoshmouth. And we're going to be doing it around a book that's coming up tomorrow, September 22nd, called Hollywood Ending by John Green. Whoa, that's so fun. And guess who our guest is going to be on this episode. I'm going to guess. It's John Green. That is right.

It is going to be the author of Hollywood ending John Green, author of also Faulted Our Stars, Turtles All the Way Down, and Looking for a Last. And paper towns. But here's the thing. Hollywood ending is going to be his first adult novel. And his first book in nine years. That's right. So it's going to be a big deal. What does that mean?

We're going to read the book, prepare some questions, have an in-depth discussion, and whatever else happens in a book club. I don't really know. Oh, well, maybe we have some snacks and a little bit of tea. Sure. And John can maybe answer some of our questions. Exactly. And he might answer some of your questions.

We want you to be part of the book club. So read along with us and submit discussion questions, thoughts, starters and unfiltered reactions to our community section on the Smoshcast YouTube channel. We'll look through your submissions there and we'll pick some to read with John in a few weeks. Yes, please submit your questions so that we can all be a part of this book club. And hey, maybe we'll all eat snacks. You guys eat snacks at home and we'll eat snacks here, right? Who knows what we're going to do? Can we have snacks?

Yeah. It's a book club. We have to have tea and snacks. We're going to have whatever John Green asks for. Paper? Yeah. Wow, I'm so excited. You will have until October 9th. to go to the community section, give us any of your thought starters, your questions, your

reactions, and we might read them here on the show with John Green. So stay tuned. Go pick up Hollywood ending at your local bookstore and read that bad boy, because we're going to. Because we're going to talk about it. That's right. And we're going to have snacks. And all right. And Amanda will bring snacks. I can't wait. It's going to be so fun. What do you think John likes for snacks? I think he's sustained on knowledge. Wow. Yeah.

Yummy. Anyways, back to the show. Back to the show. Hello, Mike Check. My name is Damien Haas. I am over 18 to play older. And I will be auditioning for the role of dead body number two. Good.

Sounds great. Could you imagine playing a dead body? It'd be kind of fun. Actually, it'd probably not be fun at all. I don't think it would be fun at all. That's pretty awful. Hello, welcome to Smoshmouth. I'm Shane.

Hello. I'm Amanda. and we have a wonderful guest joining us today. His name is Damien Haas. Hello, joining you from stage and screen. My name is Damien Hoss, and I'm grateful to be here with you on this program. Grateful to have you on this program. Praggum.

Damien, thank you so much. Absolutely. I feel so underdress. What are you talking about? You look fantastic. Dude, this shirt's incredible. I just decided to dress up. I'm wearing an all-linen black dress, and it's my favorite thing ever.

You're wearing like very elegant black clothes. You are like the front cover of like a fashion magazine's funeral edition. And you're like how to slay when they've been slaying. I just, I just, I just, Wallace and Gromit me into the closet and I bounce back out. So happy that you're here. I'm so happy to be here. Your hair is getting so long. Thank you.

Do you have a goal? No, I think, you know what happened was I noticed, well, first of all, like after dying my hair for years, it got a little crispy. be. So I'm like, I gotta just let it heal. Yeah, you're growing it. And it looks nice and healthy. Thank you very much. Yeah, it's very long. Are you going to get it to a point where you can braid it? It's pretty long. Yeah, you could braid it. I could probably braid it. I don't foresee myself going much longer than this just because sensory-wise, that sounds like a nightmare. When I was a teenager and I had like hair pretty long for a bit, whoa. I remember it started to bother me so much. I hated it. And also, I hated the way my hair grew out. It didn't. It doesn't look good.

You have to get past the, I call it the mushroom of despair. Yes, and I had it real bad. Oh, I call it a kindergarten teacher. Oh, wow. Yeah. So when my hair's growing out, like I've cut my hair,

like I've cut my hair up to here. Whoa. Whoa. Really short. Like really tight bob. Pretty much. Yeah. It wasn't like a bob,

but it was like, it was really short. And the growing out part, I just look like a sweet little, like kindergarten teacher. I don't like it. Sorry. There's probably some hot,

kindergarten teachers out there, but let me tell you. Oh, yeah, for sure. It was not me. And that's today's Smoshmouth, top 10 hot kindergarten teachers. Have you ever looked back on like your school, like elementary school yearbooks and stuff, and you see your teachers and like,

I didn't realize how hot. Smoking. Damn, my second grade teacher was hot as hell. I had no idea. I had no hot teachers. Oh, no, I had female hot teachers? Male? Oh, well, no.

No. They're all very, no. Looking back at some of them, I was like, oh my God, I didn't realize. So hot. Yeah. I had one teacher that was like very, very pretty. And I,

if she was very friendly with another like teacher, whenever the classes would meet up and it'd be like field day and it'd be like, oh, they're doing like a funny routine together. I'm like, now as an adult, I'm like, they were fucking.

And, you're doing a routine together. Yeah, it's like, oh, it's a funny thing for the kids. They're doing a backflip routine. Whoa.

She's like, he's holding her like in the middle and then they are, he's on his back. It's so crazy. Oh, wow. She's shouting. She's in pain. I have to help her.

is this. This routine is not going well. Amanda, what was that? That was me performing your routine. That was so accurate and scary. Is that what you saw? No. No, that's no.

That's crazy. I did have, I had an insane crush on my math teacher in middle school. And let me guess, this is how you handle it. Well, Amanda's making the gym helper face. I wasn't going to do anything about it. I did, I was smart enough to be like, well, yeah, she's much older than me and she's my teacher.

so this is probably not going to work out. But I was like, oh my God. Smitten? Oh, yeah. No. How many apples did you give, Shane? Every day. How many apples?

And she'd be like, okay, so you've given me five apples in the past five days. How many apples is that? And I'm like, ah, no. She's like, and subtracts that. I love you. I love you. This is why. I remember, I remember, like, all the other, like, my friends and stuff were talking about, like, other girls.

And I was like, yeah, yeah, for sure. But I was, she was, she was all. Mrs. Commanderson. I've got my eye on more maturely. No, I was losing my mind. Whoa. Yeah. I don't think I've ever talked about that.

No, that was my, that was my first, I was like, spring awakening. I am crushing. Whoa. I was like, she is the hottest. Brunette, blonde? I think she had like, go on. I'm going to guess 82 years old. No.

She was not 82. No. I actually recall, I'm trying to remember, she definitely had like a lot of like, like gray or white in her hair. Like I remember was but she was she was hot. Okay, she was a she did at one point in class. She was like yeah, I used to do some modeling when I was younger and I was like and I was like and you're like a course you did. She did. Of course you did. Hard to imagine you even more younger and beautiful than you are right now. Miss. Miss. Commanderson of course like you you could model right now. You should model. Do you have any, you know, modeling pictures. Do you so so do you just like a signed headshot would be fine. Yeah. All right.

Yeah. He's done with that. You were really a grave robber, huh? Jesus Christ. It's the opposite of a cradle robber. I don't know. She probably, she could have been in her 30s or 40s with grace. I think she was in her 40s.

I really do. I think she just, like, had some, like, gray and she was legitimately a very attractive person. Wow. Like, I'm not saying, like, oh, it was, like, wild that I had, like, she was hot. Yeah. I've never heard you say that. That's awesome.

Wow. Yeah. Which is true. Anyways, today. He's so ready to move on. He's ready to move on from that. Today, this episode is a safe space where no question is too stupid. That's the theme.

We have a bowl filled with questions here that were submitted by our crew here at Smosh. A few on stupid questions. From the Reddit, no stupid questions. But yeah, so we're going to look at these. We're going to answer them to our best ability. Yeah. No judgment. We're going to answer them because...

And if we have any stupid questions ourselves, we are free to ask at any point. All my questions are great. You know what? That's why I didn't bring any because I don't have any stupid questions. I'm just also really smart. Joking aside, I do love living in an age where we can just sort of Google stuff and look things up.

And every once in a while when I'm like, I'll drop a little fact. People are like, why do you know that? I'm like, because it got brought up and I looked it up. And that's all it takes. Can I say, though? I feel like it's gotten... I feel like it's gotten harder now, though.

Like, there was a period of time where the internet, you truly could Google it, and you get the source. You got it. Like, oh, here's a dot-gov or a dot edu immediately. And now you Google shit and you're hit with a bunch of AI bullshit. The Google Gemini thing is like, you have to use this. And I'm like, yeah, and I don't trust it all the time. I don't trust it.

Because I Google, I'll literally like look up. It'll be like, oh, Shane Top birthplace. Like Shane Top was born in Los Angeles, California. I'm like, that's wrong. Yeah. So I'm like, if you're wrong about that, how do I trust you about this? More than half the facts online are. literally wrong about me. Like literally more than half the facts.

Yeah. They're like, oh, Amanda's husband is a Belarusian model or some kind of, there's some crazy fact about him. And I was like, to a degree, but I also do like, the information is out there. Like I can, you can really dig and like find it. Yes. Much easier than back in the day. So, yes. But there's so many, there's like kind of more existential questions where it's not like a fact. You know what I mean? It's kind of more like. Why does this happen? Yeah, like, what's the deal? This episode of Smoshmouth is sponsored by Smalls.

So I had this thought. I think it's time for Birdie and Bones to be cat influencers. That's great, because they can tell me what's up. Mm-hmm. Every time we have friends over, they comment on how well my cats eat and that their coats are so shiny. So do you have some secret formula or? No, not at all. I would never gate keep Smalls.

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And here's the thing. My cats can be very picky when it comes to food. But when it comes to smalls, they're freaks for that. They lose their minds. I'm holding them at bay. Troy, I'm trying to get the food into their bowls. I'm like, bones, Bertie, relax. Whoa, okay.

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smalls.com slash smoshmouth. smosh mouth. Back to the show. Meow. Should I dive in? Please. If you're just listening, we have a beautiful bowl

that Selena made and she cut out little papers that makes me feel really good. Point of order, the bowl, I believe, was purchased. It is a plastic fish bowl. Yeah, it's a plastic fish bowl.

But Selena cut up the answer. She made those. Yeah, thank you. No problem, man. Okay, this is from Anders. Anders is in the games department. We love Anders very much. It's true.

Okay, here's his no stupid question. If you were to play against actual athletes of a sport, what is the youngest age you think you'd stand a chance against? Example, middle school basketball players all the way up to professional or Olympic

basketball players, etc. Oh my God. I'm getting schooled by middle schoolers. Literally, though. They are going to crush me. Especially ones that are like super tall. Well, here's also the problem. Here's also the problem. People think like, oh, I'll crush middle schoolers. Their endurance.

they have little kid endurance. Yeah. I know they're not little kids, but like Yes. The energy that you have when you're 12, they can run all day. Yep. They don't get tired. Nope. Yeah, I don't think there is, if someone is devoting themselves to a sport, I don't think

there is an age that I can be outside of like, Pee We League something and just because like their limbs can't run that fast at all that. Like, that's, middle schoolers would kick my ass. Elementary school, I'm thinking of like an elementary school baseball team, Little League, they'd still probably kick my ass. Simply because of energy and endurance and they're focused on it.

And like, it's not like, okay, you know, I'm okay at this thing. I probably can't hit a ball for shit. I've never really played baseball, so I probably not going to hit anything. T-ball maybe. Okay, you didn't? Oh, yeah, I was pitcher. I played softball. I loved playing softball.

So maybe I could. I did martial arts as my sport in like elementary middle high school. Thanks. and I, but that's the thing. Like, I always say I was, because, like, I was a second-degree black belt. But looking at myself now, I'm like, my limbs are a different size. I'm heavier. My bones hurt because I woke up weird.

Like, I- Muscle memory, Damien, muscle memory. Okay, then I could probably beat up a kid, and we're back to that other podcast. All right, yeah, so, yeah, we could beat up children. If they spawn every 30 seconds. We kind of all agree, though. Middle schoolers, they could probably kick her out. Unbeatable.

Well, they're also, if anyone, is practicing a sport weekly, they're going to beat me at it. Of course. I'm not versed enough in anything. Do you remember how much we did in middle school? You literally woke up at the ass crack a don. You were aggressively forced out of your bed by any parent who was like,

come on, I'm serious, get out. You need to chase your sister's car down the street to try to get in it. That part, no. What? And then you get to school. You have hours of school. Your lunch kind of sucks. Yeah.

And then maybe you have like an after school program or you have a sport. all night and then you have homework. It sucks. It is crazy to think that like, I did think about that the other day, that your day was wrapped by like 2.30 or 3 or whatever in high school. We're like, today if I'm done with something by 3 p.m., I'm like, oh, I have a whole day in front of me. Like, God, we didn't know what we had.

No. It was so much. So middle schoolers are committed. So yeah, it's got to be close to kindergarten for me to beat them at anything. Is Bayblade a sport? But that's luck. Bayblade? I disagree.

Do you think there's more skill involved there? I don't know what you said. At conventions, sometimes people bring up like bay blades and arena things where they're like, hey, I want to like say hi and like, can you, can we do like a round? And I'm not, you know, not for nothing. I have yet to lose. Whoa. I have yet to lose.

Explain to me what the F, a Bayblade is. It's tops. It's a battle like spinning top. You spin your top, they spin their top and they're like, ch-ch-ch-ch. Oh, I literally thought you meant. swords. Like people are coming up like, can I have a couple rounds? It's my girlfriend's blade.

Bayblade. Even outside of sports, like, it was very sobering for me when my 10-year-old niece and nephew beat me at Mario Kart. And like, I legitimately could not beat them. And I was like, this is. They're like laughing. They're laughing in my face. And I'm like, you have no idea.

This is like an existential crisis for me. That's so sad. I tried not too long ago to play some of the games on like Super Nintendo that I grew up with. And I remember like beating and getting to whatever level. Like, I couldn't do it at all. all. Like sometimes as a kid what you are like immersed in. You just have so much time. Like I was putting in time. Do you know what they couldn't beat me at? What? People skills. Try me, little schoolers. Go talk to a stranger and ask if you can park there. Go talk to a stranger and go, where's that,

where's the restaurant? Oh my God. I'm so sorry. It's 6 p.m. I know happy hour just ended, but like can we just at 6.05? Actually, you know what I could beat? I could beat. I love that. I could beat a lot of people. I think a lot of people, but mostly any kid, anyone under the age of 18, I'd be like, it's a game of patience. Get rid of everything, we're going to sit at a park bench, and we're going to sit at a park bench, and we're going to sit here. You would win.

I would win. I think I could crush that. Because they'd go, five minutes and they'd go, this is boring. They'd start foaming at the mouth. They wouldn't know what to do. And you'd go, this is the most peaceful I've been ever. I fully think I could do it. Of course.

Yeah. I think I could win a game of name the highest number if they go first. You're such. What if they answer, they go, a Googleplex. Googleplex plus one. Fuck. This is so. Googleplex times two.

Do you want to grab the next question? You. No, you. We'll go clockwise. Come on, guest. Clockwise? More like clock dumb. These are fom.

Let's see here. This is from Anonymous crew. Whoa. Ooh, could be anybody. Anonymous is in art department. Yeah, maybe. Pretty cool. The question is, should I get bangs?

Depends. How close are you to a breakup? I was about to say that. That's amazing. Wait, what? Are you out of a breakup right now? I don't get it. What's the joke? The joke is that when a woman gets bangs, it's because she's about to go through a breakup. I don't even miss Michael and you're like, your bangs is great. I literally get bangs all the time. What I have heard is when a girl gets bangs or when someone gets bangs, it's because they're about to go through a big life change. They need a big life change. Whoa, I get bangs all the time. you're just kind of constantly changing. I am constantly changing. I enjoy change. No, you break

the mold. I do. Let me say this about bangs, though. If you want to get bangs, get ready to style them pretty much every day. And if you want to keep them that length, get ready to have haircuts, bang haircuts every month. It's really frustrating. It's tough. Yes. My bit of advice is when you do it, if you do it, make sure it's really late at night. You do it on a whim and you can only find those like Fiskers, craft scissors that you, and you can just do it yourself. And it's going to be great. And hold them all in one thing and then do this and then go, and have them be tiny. And yeah, I was it going to say, then you correct it.

You just even it out and then you even at the other side and then you'll have micro bangs, which looks good on everyone. Damien, how much money would it cost for you to get microbangs? You can't buy me. You can't buy me. I would never get microbangs. Wait, I would die. You had.

You had Amanda style. You had these little bangs and the two braids. Oh my God, I look like that fucking dwarf from the Hobbit, whichever one of the one you know the exact one I'm needing. Yes, I do. No, thank you. Okay. I don't think there's a dollar now.

I will give you $10 million. And you have to have microbangs for the next two years. Oh, God. 10 million dollars. But you could do a lot with $10 million. But also, I mean. But your dignity's gone. I'm just kidding.

Yeah, I'll have microbangs and like, well, am I in charge of like what's in the back half of my hair? You are in charge of the back half. Shaved head, microbees. Yeah. Yeah. You know what? Yeah, like pinky ring, velour suits.

Like, I'm just going to go full on into like, he's an artist of some kind. Yeah, well, that's a DJ. If you have little bangs in your hair, I would be like, all right. Isn't that just like the 90s like Caesar cut or whatever for men? Kind of. It was a little bit different. I think so. You look great.

Now, Shane, on the other hand, if he had my head. micro banks he would look like a little girl. Oh, yeah. It's okay. I agree. Like you wouldn't, I don't think you'd be able to pull it. I don't think I could pull off a lot of haircuts. I've talked to a lot of hairstyles. I'm like, I'm like, what? What haircuts could look good on me? And they're like, you know, what? You should pull off? Modern mother. Like an awesome shaved head. I have, not small, not like, like, like a two. Yeah, I have, I do think about shaving my head a lot, how that would look. So I'm like,

because it's either it looks really good or it's just like, oh shit, if I do it, it doesn't look good. But I'm kind of like, I'm going to. I'm going to. I'm going to save that for later when my hair is like really like my hair lines going back or whatever like when I'm older like when I'm in my 40s maybe I'll do the shaved head look have you ever had like extremely short hair when I was a kid my hair my hair was really short but not ever I've never had a shaved head I've never seen what that looks like because I I've learned like when I was a teenager I had a mostly shaved head for a theater thing I was doing but I've got a really big mole right here and a little bit of a cabump right here it's not the most flattering bald head shape

That's what I'm worried about it. I'm like, what if I don't have a good ball head? You got to like, do a little topography map of your head and see what you've got going on? I know, I'm like, what if it's... That is like probably the only other look that I would be like, I'd be curious. You should shave your head and then grow out your beard.

I'd have a huge beard. Cool. Some biking shit. Do the Henry Cavill beard style where it's like longer down here, shorter on the size and it like chisels the face. You're like crinkles. We have one from Candra,

who's like our talent liaison here at Smosh. why is the area behind your knee not called knee pits courtesy of my seven-year-old who was then five when they asked this question knee pits I don't actually know what they are what are they called I've thought of them as knee pits before and if someone said knee pits I would know exactly what you meant

That is true All I know is don't touch the back of it I don't want to be touched in my knee pit I agree I think it should be called knee pit I agree although it sounds a little bit like a knee pit I just say, yeah, back of the knee. What do you, yeah, back knee.

It sounds like a screamo back. Knee pit. Oh, yeah. Neep it. Doesn't it? Okay. Well, it sounds like you're going to neep it in the bad. You're going to neep it in the butt, nice. It's nice.

It's nice. I'm like sure you don't have that flower. You're going to neep it in the bad. Anyone knows what it's actually? No one. I mean, it's just the medical term. Yeah. What's the medical term?

Popliteil Fossa. I've never heard that. Popliteal Fossa, of course. I just know it's where my hammy meets the cat. Hammy Meets to Cavs. Yeah. Wow. Well, I actually think that we should call it Knee Pit. I like it. So actually, not even a stupid question, you've given us guidance in our life. You gave us help. Thank you, Candra.

All right, let's get another question. Go. Chandra Seeker Flame. Nice. This is from Rachel. She's all over the Taurus. She's killing it. What happened to Blackberries? The Phone. Oh, I was ready to talk about the fruit. That was Motorola? Yeah, it was Motorola, right? That was like your first business phone.

I feel like the monopoly of Apple just kind of like squeezed other things out. Well, yeah. I mean, I think BlackBerry was the thing that you aspired to because it's like, oh, you have Palm Pilots and then, oh, it's super cool that you can get a Blackberry. And then I had a Blackberry too because it came with the phone plan. And I think once that fell off in popularity and either iPhone or, you know, Android-based devices took over.

Like Blackberry came back. They tried. Yeah. I think Apple just took over and also I feel like Blackberry I was like, oh, this person's working. This is a business person. Yeah. It didn't have like, to me, like the coolest. The problem is they didn't, anything that wasn't quick to the game.

I mean, I'm talking like I know. I'm an idiot who doesn't know this shit. It could be stupid answers too. But I felt like it was like, you know, the smartphone build, everyone fell in love with that shit. And apps and everything started to speed it into social media. And the Blackberry wasn't designed for that. It had all the buttons and everything. It had so many little buttons.

But I loved my Blackberry. I loved, I had the Razor, then I had the Blackberry. Oh, nice. I was kind of late to the iPhone. I was too. And I was reluctant. I only got iPhone when I started working at Smosh Games back in the Defi Days because I would be doing conventions and stuff

and there would be important things to post or whatever. And people would be like, let me air drop it. I'm like, I don't have that. And then I'd miss group chats because people were like, we know what the green taxed. And, you know, that's more social engineering than anything. but yeah I mean it worked I get it I do miss those buttons though because I I miss type things so often that I have anxiety dreams almost every single night last night

included about really needing to type something in either get someone a message or type in an address or like I need to go somewhere and it's wrong every time and I keep backspacing it and I try it again and I can't and also when I had my thumb surgery like last year my thumb doesn't go the distance I thought it like it doesn't the muscle memory is wrong So I keep typing things wrong still. It drives me nuts. Maybe you need a flip phone. Oh yeah?

And an iPhone. Oh, two phones. You need a burner phone. Two phones. Yeah, I think that'll totally solve all your problems. I love analog anything. Like, I really love it. I still drive like a car that is from before the era of like smart car stuff, right?

And I love everything is a knob or a button in my car. And I love it so much. Me too. I got a newer car recently. And that's the one thing where I'm like, why is there no button for this thing? Like, what do you mean? I have to tap on a screen. I'm driving.

Yeah. Like, I don't want to. I hate it, too. I absolutely hate it. I like the old school. Yeah, I want to have to wind up my vehicle to take you to a talkie. Talkie. At first I thought Rachel was going to say, what happened to Blackberry is like she doesn't

know that they're around still. I know. But then she wrote. I got good news. You can find them. Phone. They're delicious. All right.

Damien hit us. All right. This one is from Benny. Oh, one of the nicest humans you'll ever meet. Benny is the office. A hype man that makes you feel good, but also editor. He's also always on the move. On the move.

He is on a journey. I swear he's running everywhere. He's always running. I saw him. He goes, hey man, how's it going? And then he's running. I saw him run up the stairs here with a speed that is greater than I think I can sprint on flatland. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't know how he did it. I think he might be able to fly and he's just being like, coy. He is flying home. about it. Yeah. The first time I ever met him, I heard a wush of air. And I turned around and I went, and my hair flew forward. And I turned around. He goes, hey, man, how is he coming? I'm Benny. It's nice to meet you. And I was like, where did you come from? Have we considered that perhaps he is Hermes? The Greek? Yeah, possibly. Perhaps he is Hermes, the messenger. Anyways, go on. I love that. Shout up, Benny. Why do people turn down the radio to see better in the car?

Oh, my. Oh, that's. so, that is the most vulnerable question we've gotten so far. And why is it so real? When I see like traffic or like, you know, construction, I literally turn down the radio. I guess maybe I do do that. I haven't thought about this. Is it maybe just to like help focus? Like you're just trying to like, I think that's what it is for me.

Like if I'm driving someone, the hardest thing in the world, it's not just the radio. Like if they're telling a story and it's like, oh my God. And then, dude, so you know what he said? I'm, I have to like as politely as possible would be like, hey, I'm so. Give me a second. I'm trying to merge. Like it's, but it seems like the same thing.

Like you're splitting attention. Yeah. I am not good at splitting attention at all. This makes me think about whenever I'm trying to write a message. If I'm texting someone, if I'm writing email or something, I cannot have any other dialogue going on around me or else I literally cannot write a sentence out.

Do you do this with your partner? I don't know if you do this, but it's like an unknown, nice thing that me and my husband do that if we're texting someone, so we're having a conversation or whatever, and it's like, oh, I'm going to text someone. I don't continue the conversation. I let him text.

But that's not a universal thing. People will be like, you'll be texting and they'll be like, yeah. So anyway, and you're trying to finish the text, and they'll still continue the. Yeah. Can I ask maybe stupid question then? No, please. What's the polite way to communicate that?

If sometimes I'll go like, hey, I'm just going to, Like if they're talking, I'm just going to send a text real quick. They'll be like, oh, for sure, you got it. So the other day I was going to, like, if people launch it a story, and that's just that person. What's the polite way to be like, no, I meant shush. Yeah. I don't know how to say it nicely.

Well, that's what I'm saying. With H&I, it's an unknown thing. It's like when you're texting someone. Well, I'm not saying necessarily with a partner. I'm just saying in general. Just in general. No, I know. Someone's not heeding that.

I'm saying that it doesn't always translate because people don't always. I think it's okay to be like, I'm so sorry. I can't like, I'm not gonna remember anything you're saying right now. I would say, hold on one second. Let me just send this real quick. Just, I have to send this real quick. Hold on one second. Yeah, that's kind of the vibe.

Meaning like, shh. Yeah. Hold on shush one second. If they keep going, do you just like snap and go like, hey? I go to the bathroom and I send it there. Okay. If I know it's, if I go this person, you know what? This isn't, they're not programmed this way.

It's all good. I'm just going to go, oh, man, I got to go pee. It depends on the type of message. It depends on. the type of message I'm sending to. If I'm texting someone casually, if it's not important, then I'm like, I'm kind of like, ah, this is low stakes. But if I'm like writing an email, like a

professional email or I'm getting back to somewhere, I'm like, I might need to go somewhere. Really do this. Now that we have iPhones, it's like, are you sending a professional email? Are you just looking at Instagram? It can be both. I still really struggle. Like, I'm not always the best at getting back to people, but it's partially too because like when I'm messaging people

or something like, I'm very intentional about it. And I'm like, I don't, I don't like to just send a message off and be like, okay, and then I get a text back. Same. And I'm like, well, now I'm here. Now I'm having a conversation. Same.

Because people have access to you all the time now. And it's tough. Like, yeah. If I'm writing you a text, I know I'm available for a little bit of time. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like I keep people on red.

I'm that way too. Because I'm like, I'm not available to respond, do a back and forth to this. Yeah. Again, with my sisters, I, we can respond back in like days.

It's not like, it's not a, but I'm with you. Like, I don't just go, but if I need to send someone something, like, oh, I need to remember to say this to them. I will send it off. Yeah. Yeah.

Even if I'm not available. I think if anyone has known me for any period of time and we are texting, it's probably understood that it's going to take a minute for me to get back, even if I send something right away. Because usually it's like, send running to the thing. I actually love, like, knowing that about people, and I respect people like that. Because I know there's some people that I text and I'm like, I will hear back from them in a couple days. Yep. Because I'm like, yeah, they probably saw it.

And it's not that they don't care about it. It's that when they respond, they want to respond thoughtfully. But it's tough. This episode of Smoshmouth is sponsored by Wayfair. We've been asking a lot of stupid questions today, but you know what's not a stupid question? Asking me where I buy my furniture. Shane, where do you buy your furniture? So glad you asked Amanda, I get my furniture from Wayfair.

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and it didn't really fit in the space correctly. Wayfair made it really easy to search on their website and use their filters. I could pick the style, shape, color, and dimension of my new table. table. Oh, and Halloween is right around the corner and I need decorations and they also have that. Transform your space with pieces that hold up to real life. Join Wayfair rewards today and get 5% back on every purchase. Head to Wayfair.com or shop the Wayfair app for all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. And now back to the show. Anyways, we went on a whole journey there. Thank you, Benny. No stupid journey.

That was a very funny. Only stupid destination. Picture Benny asking it. So. So, I'm in real quick, real quick. If you're driving, why do you have to turn down the... I always wonder this. Now, that's more of like an Angela character that you're doing. That's Angela.

No, he gives you high fives? Every single time I see him. He goes, he goes, he goes, he goes. Yeah, he'll do the fish bump all the time. I think Benny's more of like a soft-spoken guy. We're like, he's not necessarily out of breath. He's just... Make smart decisions.

That's what I was thinking. Hey, be smart. But it's also like kind of raspy. And a little like, he's running. But I think it's also from like the smoothness. Like he's found he's found a calmness. Like even though he's running, he has found a calmness within himself. He's unbothered.

True. And he truly, when he's asking how you're doing, he really wants to know how you're doing. He really is a very intentional person. It's a good person. What did you read? And here's the thing. We have another question from Benny. Oh, my favorite.

The Benny Hour continues. And Benny asks, why are they called self-help books if they're written by other people? Damn. Bangor after banger after banger, Benny. That is a, hey, valid. Also, I read an interesting article about self-help books recently about how, oh no. If you look, not necessarily like they're bad or whatever.

It's just if you look back throughout the decades at self-help books at the times they're written, I'm not going to have good specific references, but they are indicators of like societal struggles and hardships at the time, right? Like, so, well, it's like, you look at the eras when it's like, oh, think and become rich and all these things came at financial crises times. Yeah. When people are strapped for cash, so it's kind of like this like, oh, wait, there's a way to get money.

Why need, like when people are in this and right now we see a lot of like atomic habits, a lot of things where it's like in an era where it's so hard to keep track of everything. It's hard, like, when was this era? You're a badass, girl. You're badass. Just smell the flowers. Like stop where you're. doing and do it. Just do it.

That's tumbler. It was also. And also I loved those books. It was like the art of not giving a fuck. Like it, they come at times where you can see that societally people are struggling with certain things, which is not to say that the books don't help, but it's that they are.

It's kind of like correlation or causation, right? It's like people are here because we're all. Do you guys read self-help books? Every once in a while I'll read something like philosophy related that could be applied to self-help, but I don't really trust like,

I'm Jimmy Johnson, the speaker that tells you how to be just like Jimmy Johnson. You know what I mean? I'll read anything, right? Like, I will read anything. And I'll sometimes even read something even if I think it's dumb because I'm like interested, whatever. I take a lot of it with a grain of salt. I think it's so funny because I get served a lot of stuff on Instagram where it's, so many dudes on the internet, the only books they talk about are the same like five.

books and it's like the 48 laws of power atomic habits and it's all what I realize a lot of it is I'm like what is your intention with reading these books and it seems like a lot of it is just for a sense of control over their life right and I'm like that's not necessarily like

I think every book so many books could be self-help books even fiction right because it's all like in broadening your horizons and stuff. There's stories and lessons and all that but a lot of times people are reading books this is this is my own personal just kind of like opinion, this is not any sort of valid thing.

But people are already, they're reading books, especially self-help books that are already in line with like their character and like how they view life. So like are you really like challenging yourself here? Is it just? It's more of like someone being like you're on the right path. Remember that thing that you thought? I actually, there are some self-help books that I love, but I'm very picky and picky with my self-help books.

like the way they write, how I'm being spoken to. But I love like, kind of like Buddhist self-help books are really good. Like more like, I like more spiritual. Yeah. Like I will say I did read like almost every Eckert Tolly book when it first came out. I was really into those. I really like books that are about perspective because that's something that you can really think about. But like, I've only read a couple.

I've read a couple financial ones and I'm just like, in this day and age, fuck you. Like I'm just kind of like, and the advice is there's no advice. I'm like, what is the advice? Tell me, how do I think and become rich? Yes. And it's like, okay, it's like, hey, save up money. I'm like, what money do people have to save up, man? It was the Susie Ormond sketch on SNL with Kristen Wigg, where she's like, okay, number

one tip, you're going to want to empty out your savings. Take all $10,000 in there and start putting them into smaller accounts. Call your dad, have him send over some money. Yeah, exactly. I mean, people believe really writing yourself a check. Like, people really believe. I mean. And, hey, I think it's a mindset.

I think it can be both. I think it falls apart when it becomes a financial aspect because there is so much that's out of your control. But I do firmly believe that you sort of wire your brain to think and feel a certain way when you continually react to different stimuli in a certain way. Sure. You know, letting yourself be upset but continuing forward, you're going to have a more like perseverance-based mindset as opposed to, you know, whatever. But, I mean, getting back to the books. Like, I don't know. I feel like in this day and age, it's hard for me to sit down with a specific book by a specific person.

Yeah. Yeah. I did the autism workbook. I mean, I'm like part through that, which is fun, where it's like, how do you deal with shit? What triggers you? What's helpful? And like, that's a workbook, though. Yeah.

But I think that, that to me is truly like less self-help self-work book, right? And I've, a few books that I've read that I would consider, like, anytime I read anything in the realm of psychology, I'm like, that's, to me, like, understanding other people's perspectives is more important than, how do I make myself more efficient, right? Yeah. Mityo Kaku's about to drop a financial banger. Yeah. I read, yeah, I read a book called, I read a book called Unmasking Autism.

That was really great. And I remember, like, that was incredible for me. And I read it, and I want to read more because, like, you know, whenever we're doing Reddit stories and stuff and anything possibly comes up where it's like, oh, this, this person in this story might be autistic or on the spectrum or OCD, whatever. And I'm, I really, even though I studied it in college, I don't know a lot

about all that stuff. And it changes. We know a lot. And so much comes out every year. And so many perspectives are so different from even 10 years ago that I'm like, oh, I really want to keep up on this so that I can like have some understanding.

Like a normal human understanding, not a professional understanding. Even on masking autism, like there was some stuff I saw in there where I was Yeah, yeah. Yeah, sure. You know, so yeah, it's just, you take from it what you can't. So I guess my answer about the books is it's self-help in the same way that buying tools is DIY. Nice.

Nice. You didn't make the hammer. Yeah, and I guess to your point about with that is like to continue, no book can be like your, like doctrine, right? Like you read a book and you go, okay, great, like, and you got to keep. Well, there is one book that has got in my life. Well, I. And that's Aragon. That's right.

All right. Benny making us wax poetic over here. Okay. This is from Jay. Jay's in graphics. Graphics department. What's considered wet? Would pancakes with a thick syrup be considered wet?

Or a saucy pizza? Pasta? Where do we draw the line? This is such a good question. Because greasy isn't like, That's different from wet. Let me just say, I don't want to think of my food as wet. I think wet is more specifically water-based for me.

It doesn't have to be. But like, I know it's not everyone's favorite word, but like, I know it's not everyone's favorite word, but if it's syrup, like, oh, they're covered in syrup. My pancakes are super moist. I don't see them as wet. I think that's more sticky. Sticky. Sticky.

Sassy? I would say saucy. We're talking like these non-Newtonian fluids or whatever. Because, yeah, spaghetti's not wet. That's sauce. That's saucy. It's all sauced up. Agree.

But a sauce can be kind of like the more liquidy and consistency. Like how thick. Wet is soup. Wet is soup. But even soup I wouldn't say is wet because it is the wet. I kind of agree. But I'm like a thick soup too.

So what's considered wet? To me, wet is not something you're eating. Wet is something that's not supposed to be covered in water. Soup is not wet. But if you spill soup on the table, all the table's all wet. So how does that work? I don't know.

I mean, it's location. Location, location, location. It's kind of true, though. A lot of food cannot be covered in water and still be good. Except for, like, fruit is fine by me. Like, I'll wash fruit and, like, I don't care if it's, like, kind of still covered in water. Yeah, I don't mind.

It's a little refreshing. Like, it's refreshing. Like, it's refreshing. Like, biting into an apple, getting a little bit of water. My, this is such a random story, but my Tia, growing up, made the same dessert every Christmas. And me and my sister would be like, and you'd always be sitting by it. So you'd have to go say hi to her by her dessert.

and so you'd always have to like go like, okay, go talk to Tia Candida. All right. What was the dessert? It is wet. Oh. It is literally fruit in a can, but she doesn't rinse it.

So it's canned fruit, a bunch of canned fruit, and she just pours it in a bowl, like a gorgeous crystal bowl. So it's like, it's all the wet. So it's like an ambrosia salad, but an ambrosia soup.

So it's literally all the soup and then she would put chocolate chips in it. Okay, so she's kind of not doing shit. No. I'm sorry, that's kind of, she bought some cans and threw them in a bowl. Yes, and if you ever were divorced or not married, she would strike you down. But her dessert was literally like can, so it was all wet. And the main course is Totino's pizza rolls.

It was just wet fruit with chocolate chips, and you'd always have, and my mom would go, get dessert, go get dessert and go talk to Tia. And she didn't speak a lick of English, only Portuguese. And so you'd go and you'd have the same conversation. every year like yes and you'd be 16 and it was like I'm not married yet but I will eat this dessert so wet fruit to me is all to say how old was she she she has passed but also she had the most beautiful skin she had a long long white hair like down to her butt that she would tie up in a little bun white gorgeous like porcelain skin with like dark features so this is a siren you're describing a sire she was a siren she might still be alive I don't know my my mom

says she passed. You said she passed. Now you're saying she might be alive. I don't know. She exists forever everywhere. Next to wet fruit. But she, yeah, she's a kind of person you go over to her house and she has like a thousand pictures of you from, you don't even know when that picture was taken. She has bowls of candy that you don't know how long they've been out. Is she a person or is she a curse upon your family? She might be a curse upon my family. Yeah, what is this? But anyways, wet fruit. Okay. But see that, you didn't like that fruit and it's unusual for it to be that wet, so the fruit is wet. You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, that sucks. It'd be different if it, like, there would be a name for it. Yeah. Yeah, so I don't like wet when it comes to food. Yeah, same. I have a stupid question. I have to get credit. No stupid questions.

I have a normal question during this episode only. Okay. I saw this online, so forgive me, whoever came up with it, I apologize. I don't know the name, but it was a post about, like, why don't we have nicknames for water? like the most drinkable thing that we all drink whatever. It's like, there's no like, I want to have a cup of wet. Well, you do, yeah. I say that because that was part of that post.

Wawa, Agua. Some aagua. Agua, but that's just a different language. And Wawa's a baby word. But I mean, like, you wouldn't ask your friend, like, want a cup of Wawa, but you might be like, can I get you a Coke? Or like, do you want some pop when you mean soda? Like. Because water is classic.

You can't change its name. It can't have a nickname. It's like the Bible. Do you want to grab some sips? say you want to read the vibe? Yeah. Embive the vibe. Okay.

Drink your Bible. There's a book called The Wager, which is a true story about this shipwreck back in the 1700s. Nice. And but these guys back in the 1700s crashed on an island and all they had was they didn't have wine or whiskey or whatever. And they were only drinking water and they called it Adam's wine. That was like their way of making it like getting by the day. Who was Adam? What?

Who's Adam? Well, Adam and Eve. Like Adam's wine. Of course. Oh, in the Garden of Eden, all they had was water. You know from the Bible, the thing you just mentioned? Yeah, no. Adam and Eve and Lilith.

And Steve. And Steve's like, and also Steve. He has like a little, little leaf on him. He's like, hey, it doesn't quite fit. Whoa. Where'd you get your guys is? Steve, you have a big penis. Oh, so weird.

Little leaf over there. Sorry, guys. I just have my big old dinger out and, uh, whoops. Your dinger fits, Adam. And Steve's like, how do you guys get your leaves to like stay there? Stay there. It's crazy. Mine falls down.

Mine's just right stuck on the tip. It's insane. You know what I did learn? Which is actually, this is probably way, way, way, way TMI. Go for it. In the old and old and olden days of the Olympics, like ancient Greek style, they competed naked. Right. And apparently, I'm so sorry.

Apparently, nudity for them wasn't embarrassing. What was embarrassing was seeing anything about the wean that was not covered by the foreskin. So they used to tie their foreskins shut because it would be embarrassing if anyone could see like the glands of the penis. So if you were circumcised, you wouldn't...

Unless there was a terrible accident in the Minotaur battle or whatever. Like, that's not a thing. That's crazy. Whoa. We should bring that back for the Olympics. Yeah. No, they need to bring back a pencration

and full rules back in the day where you were allowed to grab the scrote. Oh, yeah? It was really like no whole sport. It was wrestling. Scrow grabbing? So, so. Hey, my son's doing some scroo grabbing.

Let's watch it. It was called like pancreation or pancreation. And it was truly like, it was basically like the translation is like anything like all of it. Like go for it. Translates roughly to Rochambeau. Just go do whatever you want. How would they work with women?

They could grab. They were the best at the sport. No one could beat them That was true But yeah It was just fully just like Do whatever the fuck Whoa

You're allowed to just go crazy That's crazy It's scary That's awful But yeah That's ancient Greece for you All right ancient Greece Oh it's unmeen

Thank you This one's calling to me Ooh this one comes from Anonymous crew Oh also water based Nice Does soda water Slotor slash carbonated water

Count as real water Yes But it doesn't hydrate you As well I don't think But it's what I don't know. It definitely, yeah, it's water.

It's just in a different form. Well, because tonic water has a little bit of sugar and stuff. Tonic water is vile. You don't like it. I learned recently, you know that like gene where people, some people don't like cilantro because it tastes like soap, but to other people, it's God's gift to plants. I love cilantro.

But I would ever, whenever I did have alcohol like gin and tonic, I would be like, God, this is vile. And people would be like, oh, it's so sweet. I'd be like, what are you talking about? This sucks. And eventually I was like, wait a minute. I can't be that. different. And so I googled it and I was like, is there a thing like that with tonic water?

And it was like, yep, that's a thing. Some people have a gene where quinine, the ingredient that makes it so sweet, tastes absolutely like bitter-doodoo garbage. And I'm like, oh, me, me, me, hate it. You know what? Tonic water is, I kind of agree. I think it's too sweet. I think it depends on what tastes bitter to me. Wow. That's what I'm saying. It tastes so weird. Like it, my tongue goes like, like it's awful. Damn. Oh, weird. I like it. Is there a difference? Okay, stupid question. is there a difference between soda water and sparkling water? This is such a good question. Is it all the same?

I have no idea. When I'm at the store it's like, oh, we're getting, we need soda water for something. And mineral water is different. I think it was, well, that is yes. It would be a bicarbonate of soda. So carbonated soda and soda water, I think, are like pop versus soda. It's the same thing. Wait.

But mineral water is different. Sparkling and soda water is different because it's the amount of bubbles or the amount of gas in it. Is that a different level of carbonation? I think soda water has more bubbles and sparkling is less. I could be wrong. That would make sense to me. Nobody is looking at up. If you're listening or watching this,

don't take our answers as fact. We're just kind of having fun here. I would like to go ahead and say that I feel that expert and sell. Yeah, I would like to say that what I say is fact. Yeah, Amanda's pretty correct. Okay, Shane has the bowl. Yeah, get at the bottom there. I think Benny.

I love you, Benny. These are all from Benny. We'll move on from this one quickly. He says, could you smell what the rock was cooking? Was it good or bad? I feel like it was eggs and bacon. I think it could only smell bad. What?

Just like they're up there sweaty. Like he's cooking in those conditions. Are you kidding me? It's probably freaking delicious. No. And he just has an apron on. I think it's probably delicious barbecue. Like he's probably got a really nice family barbecue going.

Okay. Yeah, I mean, I could see him being big on family barbecues. Okay, yeah, I can see that too. Thanks, Benny. Thank you, Benny. Okay, this is from Nicole. Nicole is over at Smoshalike, director, producer, everything. We love Nicole.

What are some assumptions you have about the cast? Nicole. That's not a stupid question. Nicole, you can't reverse your assumptions question on us. That's an entire, that's going to take us forever. That's the whole episode. She needs assumptions for Keith. This is her, oh, she needs these.

Oh, for an upcoming episode. Got it. I assume Keith has like full conversations with his dog, like, all the time. Oh, he absolutely does. I feel like he would just sit, but he just like, on his couch just at home, just like talking. I assume Keith has two closets to fit all of his incredible clothes. Ooh, that's a good one. I assume that Keith very much believes in anything supernatural at all.

Like if you tell him, like, there's a new kind of mermaid you've never heard of, and it's in this location. It'll be like, I don't want to go there. No way. Like, you'd be like, I don't think that's true. It'd be like, do you want to go there? He's like, no. I don't want to go there.

I don't want to go there. I assume Keith hates planes. I don't know why. I just assume it's a good assumption. Yeah, I just assume that he's like, no. And I've been on planes with Keith many times. but I actually think he doesn't have a problem with it. Maybe he loves it.

I don't know why I assume that. He was on them. He was there. Okay, here's the ball. Nicole, that's all you're getting. I also wrote down some, so if at some point, this is from R slash no stupid questions. Are therapists who go to therapy allowed to discuss their own patients?

Yes. They specifically have, I believe they specifically have, like with, within certain parameters therapists that they go and they discuss. They can discuss. They're not allowed to discuss your therapy, right? But like they are allowed to exactly, literally exactly what Shane said,

but I'm trying to say it as well. But that's a good way to do things. They have a bunch of laws for that. But like, oh, they have a specific, do they get to choose their therapist? I'm not sure how it works.

And it probably is different with different clinics, different fields and everything. I'm not. Therapists need therapy? expert on this. If I was going to a therapist, I would almost hope that they are discussing things with other therapists, that it's not just within, there's, there are certain things that are private that are, you know, wrapped up with certain laws of like protected, but to discuss situations and things. Yeah, maybe it's like, hey, I'm working with this patient, but their, you know, their story is really sitting with me and I'm not feeling great about it. Like the human side of me, I'm having a, hard time. Yeah. Like maybe something like that. Do you know who I want as my therapist? Is in couples therapy? I want Orna's therapist. Yeah. I want her. So you know what? I finally was

about to watch it on a plane a few days ago and I decided to watch once again the animal documentary stuff, which I've seen maybe three or four times. You're like, here it is. Good move. No. I always keep the animal stuff on silent. Just watch with captions and I just watch the animals. That's okay. Sorry, I cut you off like three times. No, no, no. I just think Orna, the couple's therapist, has a therapist, and I want that as my therapist. And she's talking about the situations, but she's probably not giving names. She's probably

not everything, but, uh, and like I said, it's probably, it probably varies a bunch. I'm probably wrong about a lot of it, but I, I'm assuming that with some of the fields. There are. I think she's saying names either. She's not giving I, that's things that I think are absolutely protected. Okay, so my patient's

name rhymes with David Bukovny. And he's really just so, I have a dumb question. And Damien, I think you're actually the perfect person to have for this. So I keep hearing about this on the internet, but are all pigeons technically not supposed to be in the wild? Like, should we, are we, should we be like saving all of them? There are wild pigeons, but the pigeons that you see in cities and stuff have been domesticated and then abandoned. They are still domesticated creatures.

They are, I think, at best, feral, which means that, you know, they've been left to the wild. But, yeah, I mean, it's not that we should be saving. them necessarily, but like we should definitely be treating them kindly because we used to use them as either it was either companionship or messaging stuff or some people used them as a food source

and what, well there's pigeon pie. It's just a little, it's like a little chicken. That's so funny. But I love little pigeons and little birds and so when people treat them poorly and like chase them through stuff, throw them, whatever where they're like they're digging through the trash, it's like yeah, they don't know what else to do. Yeah, man, they need food. Like everybody, if everybody let their dogs go,

all at the same time, you'd be like, God, these dogs are annoying. It's like, yeah, but we did that. Yeah, we did that. Poor guys. But apparently, I think it varies from state to state, but because they are domesticated, I'm not saying you should do this, but theoretically, you can just kind of pick one up and take it home. Like, you can do that legally. Whoa. Yeah.

Wow. Literally, you can just, and I've thought about it so much. Yeah. Then you got, that's a lot to take care of. Yeah. Gareth, who does our sound, has a two-parter question for I'm going to say Amanda, but boys, feel free to answer. How does it feel to have a human grow inside you?

And how does it feel to no longer have a human grow inside you? So how does it feel to have a human grow inside me? And how does it feel to no longer have a human grow inside me? I actually love that question. I think it's a great question. This is questions from Gareth, from Sound. Very, very bizarre. I'm going to be completely honest when my son was getting bigger in me, I did have a full-blown

panic attack. I had reverse claustrophobia. Yeah. Like that feeling that this thing inside me is going to get bigger and I have no control over it made me have a full-blown panic attack one night. It was very scary. It was very unexpected. And you literally, and also, I, you know.

Your body actually gives you like a lot of relaxed hormones when you are pregnant because it is a very, very bizarre experience. So your body gives you relaxed hormones too. But I think having a human grown side of me was very hard and weird at first. It felt very foreign and I felt very, very sick. but then there's like a, people keep saying like, okay, get past this thing. You kind of feel like you're on this journey. It also helps to know, like, they're, you do have this feeling of like it's never going to come out.

Like, it'll never come out of me. But it does. So it's kind of like you're on this kind of journey where you have to give yourself reminders and then you get to this place and then it is the coolest thing ever. That's how I experience it. I know everyone experiences differently. Some people hate being pregnant the whole time. Some people love it the whole time.

I was like a half-half. Towards the end, it was like the coolest thing. I felt like every night I was like hanging out with this new person. I felt this like new connection because they move. That's so cool. And they kick. And you feel them and you feel them in different parts. And I started to actually really love it.

I found it to be really, really cool. But you do have to like, you do have to talk your brain down. I can only imagine. Yeah. And when they don't move, then you get really scared. Oh, wow. So it's like every night you kind of like have this special little journey.

It's just you and them and you like feel them move and it's a really special connection. And then when they don't move, you get this like. You're like, where'd you go? Yeah. That's so interesting. It's really wild. But I will say. having a person child grow inside of you,

you do have a raised level of fear. Sure. Everything you do is scary. Everything you eat, everything you drink, every fume you're around, everything you put on your body, every... Whenever you're smoking cigarettes, you're like, is this bad for you?

When I'm chugging whiskey and smoking cigarettes, I'm like, I should probably stop. I'm like... You should really quit. Five unfiltered lucky strikes per day, and that's it. If I stop there. I got really good at rolling my own cigarettes.

It was really sick time. It's natural stuff. It's American spirit. I roll it myself. It's actually chill. So don't even worry. It's better for you. Yeah.

But now not having. And then not having. Not having. You feel like you're like, woo. Oh, really? Can I ask a stupid question? Because after you gave birth, did you still feel pregnant? Or was it immediately like I'm not?

Oh, interesting. I immediately was like I'm not pregnant. but I you're you're still you're still having contractions after your baby's out that's the thing how like no one talks about that shit because like when people I think I learned that when I learned this I was like when people give birth it's not like oh and now my stomach's like flat and everything it's like you're still kind of like so your uterus is still the size that held the baby yeah and that's the thing that you you actually think about all the birthing stuff and then so your uterus is still the size so you actually when the baby's out, you're still experiencing contractions. Wow. And that's, you're bleeding and you're getting your uterus back down to a very small size. So I think the first three months, you don't, you know the baby's not in you, but you feel you're in so much pain. And you're also, your belly is hard.

Yeah, and then the nurses come around and TMI, but they like push on your belly. And it is like, they don't say. anything. They just go, p-oom. And they have to do that because otherwise you can get infected. Oh, wow. Yeah, like all the fluid, all the amniotic, all the, all that wawa. You'll look it up and you'll go, this is what it does, Amanda. But it has to come out of you.

Yeah. So I would say after, no one really describes that, but like the after effect fucking sucks. Yeah. I do have a probably stupid question, but like. No stupid questions. Oh, damn, normal question, but only for this episode. as someone who runs into like doors and walls all the time myself was it a spatial difference not having to worry about a person yes anymore were you like giving everything like a

white birth no pun intended you know how these cute ass women who are pregnant have their like belly out and they're like wearing the cute little thing i wanted to do that so bad i was like that's going to be me i was so scared of my belly being out like that sure like i just felt like there was no protection. Like your baby is right there. The only thing is like, well, there's actually quite a bit of protection. Sure. But like your brain and like when they

told me I couldn't do moitai, I couldn't ride a bike. Yeah. I couldn't. I was like, oh. You just, you feel like you're like a bit of a capsule. But I also mean more like after when you didn't have the largest stomach anymore where you're like oh, am I walking way too wide

from like around the pole? Oh. I don't No, you know what? I will say I genuinely kind of missed. I missed my belly a little bit simply because I knew my baby was always safe. Yeah. Like he was so like. And also for a while, like I kind of was like, I got into it.

Was it weird like the first time after giving birth that you could like lay down face first on the ground? Like, because you can't. Dude, I'm a stomach sleeper. Yeah. That was really hard for me. Oh, that's crazy. And you know how many things on Instagram? It's like it looks like.

blow up float where there's just a hole for your belly that some people would buy I seriously considered it sounds kind of cool anyway I know I seriously fucking considered like being face down I've got a little bit of a tummy like not pregnancy wise but that sounds kind of comfy shove that little tummy in the in the hole this hole's made for me dude I will say not having a baby I was like the food that I could I mean you have to be careful the cigarettes that you're when you're breastfeeding? My God, a pack a day. Yeah, the filters don't help.

Sleeping on my belly, fuck, that was amazing. That's crazy to think about. So, yeah, I would say it's so different. And then every baby's different. You can't expect some people get really sick with one, and then they have another one, and they feel fine. Yeah. So, yeah, I would say, overall half, like a horror movie in the second half,

like a really beautiful. Wow, Sound of music. Sound of music. Yeah. And then the end of sound of music is a horror movie again. Alien, Predator, Sound of Music. Alien versus Predator versus Sound of Music.

How do you solve a problem like Maria? I've got an idea. All right, we're going to do a speed round then. Let's do it. From Anders, how would you spend your time if you had the mind you have now but we're in the body of a newborn? How would you spend your time as a newborn?

I don't know, man. It would be awful. nightmare. Tummy time? That would be people when they go, oh, if I could go back in time with my brain, I'm like, you want to go back to second grade with an adult brain and you have to go to second grade. And look to your teacher goes,

she's so hot. You know what? It's an anime, Detective Conan, or Detective Conan, it's about like a guy who's like a mid-20s detective and somehow he turns back into a kid and it's him trying to solve crimes. But is he a modern day? Like he didn't, did he go

back in time? He didn't go back in time. He's just a He's just a kid. I'm talking like, you go back. I go back to 2000, or I go back to 1997 as like a six-year-old. And I'm there. I know everything that's about to happen. And I go, guys, we got to do some things differently. They're not going to invent steam for so long.

That would suck. Okay, rapid round. Here's another one from Anders. Would you rather be one foot taller or one foot shorter than you? Neither I've accepted my height, Anders. Yeah, I'm comfortable with who I am. I mean, I don't want to be. shorter but also taller. Like I feel like I'm in that middle ground where either direction of foot

is going to be inconvenient. I guess I would be six, ten and a half. Jesus, though. I would be five feet. Five feet ain't bad though. I don't even know who I would be. I would be really funny. You is the you as the shortest member of Smosh would be very funny. That's true. Um, no. Isn't it crazy to think that if I was, oh, do it. Do it. Do it. Ching. Did he ask this question just to put me in this position. Six. That'd be funny.

I was gonna say, wouldn't it be crazy that I would still be an inch shorter than Rhett? Dude, if you were six, seven, the ladies you would get would be freaking gnawed. That's so crazy, dude. Here. That's fucking crazy. Whoa, I didn't know you ball. Yeah, six seven.

All right, anyways. Our vitamins is a scam. No. I mean, you can't process all that a vitamin puts in your body, but you're getting something out of it. What is Watergate? What is Watergate? Yep, from Emily P.

Like a sluice? Main channel. She didn't know at Watergate. It's the name of a hotel where Nixon's cronies had broken in trying to get specific stuff on a... Stuff that nowadays would be on the news for like half an hour. Literally. And they'd be like, oh, yeah, we don't give a fuck. We got a Watergate every day.

It truly, every day, something way worse than Watergate happens. And our government's just like, yeah, this is cool now. Yeah, we can't get mad enough for them to do anything about it. I did realize, I was talking to people the other day. Sorry, I know this is rapid fire round, but you're looking for stuff. I'm done. When people are like, you know, other people are like protesting their government, why can't we do it?

And I'm like, it's location. Like if all of us were mad enough all at once because people were like, oh, there's millions of us and only a few of them, I'm like, great. Are we all going to drive to Washington, D.C., and check into a hotel? Are we all getting flights and sleeping on the street? What do you mean? Like, the U.S. is too big. Right.

Anyway. And the last question that really send us is from no stupid questions, people that yell when they sneeze, is it possible? to not do that. I don't know. I need to ask, I need to ask Courtney that. Courtney, I've told sometimes it is like, there's

like a, it's concussive. I know. I literally know. It's like a war movie where I wake up and it's like, sheesh. Sheesh. And I'm like,

get down, get down. Get down. Get down. Get down. Get down. We're going to run. You brought me to that scene. I am there right now, and I want to watch this movie. It's so real. She shocks me.

I'll be driving, and she'll be next to me, and I'll be like, fuck. She shocks me. It's fast, too. It's not like there's a wind-up. Sometimes they'll just be like, come! And I'm like, fuck! I think in general, I don't know for Courtney, because, you know, I don't know their life, But in general for people, loud sneezers are loud sneezers, but they do lean into it.

And I understand it. No, they do. Because it does kind of feel good. Like a good sneeze does feel good. Like if it's different than like, and just, but you don't. You're right, you're right. They say it's one, they say it's one eighth of an orgasm?

Yeah, and if you really push. So if you sneeze eight times in a row, you can get a third of a cummings. Right. Yeah. Wait, what did you say? What's up? Sorry, what does your husband do? He screams.

Oh, really? Oh, I could see that. That's scary. I've gotten in a little bit like, stop. Because he's done it, like, walking into a restaurant where he's like, yeah! Like that. And that's how you get Eastern European music. No, literally, I'm like, stop.

And he's like, I have to. I have no choice to. And I'm like, he's so leaning into it. But he would say he's not. And then when I go like this, he'll be like, what are you doing? That's kind of, because that hurts feels like it hurts. Yeah, do a middle ground.

Just do the Obama like vampire cough, sneeze thing that we all learned, and just do it in your arm and then you're fine. Anyways. Anyways, we have to go, which sucks,

because we still have so many left. Maybe we'll do it again. We'll do this again. We'll do this again. We're like three for the comments. Damien, you're awesome. Why does Shrek resonate so much with Gen Z?

You know, we have so much guys answer these, okay? Why do people visualize clearly when they read while others only see words? What's up with that? It's a fascinating thing that people, when I learned that,

I'm like at a two on the scale, where I can see flashes of the app. How does internet Bluetooth work? All right, we're out of here. Living in my brain. Thanks, y'all. Damien, you're the best. You're the best, man. This is so much fun. Thank you for doing this. I haven't spoken in a day because of vocal rest, because of voiceover. So thanks for being the one thing that was worth breaking silence for.

Oh, my God. That's awesome. See you guys later. Bye guys. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Bye.