Smosh Mouth - #26 - Our Weirdest Christmas Traditions
Episode Date: December 25, 2023Merry Christmas! Shayne, Amanda, Chanse, and Angela talk Christmas traditions new and old. 0:00-0:52 Intro 0:53-6:24 Christmas drinks 6:25-25:11 Christmas traditions 25:12-31:30 Giving gifts 31:31-3...9:11 Christmas cooking 39:12-52:49 Christmas movies 52:50-54:09 What is Santa like to you? 54:10-1:07:45 Christmas pickle/other weird stuff SUBSCRIBE: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshCast WEAR OUR JOKES: https://smosh.com WHO YOU HEAR Shayne Topp // https://www.instagram.com/shaynetopp/ Amanda Lehan-Canto // https://www.instagram.com/filmingamanda/ Chanse McCrary // https://www.instagram.com/phatchanse/ Angela Giarratana // https://www.instagram.com/angelagiovanagiarratana/ OTHER SMOSHES: Smosh: https://smo.sh/Sub2Smosh Smosh Pit: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshPit Smosh Games: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshGames El Smosh (Spanish Dub): https://smo.sh/Sub2ElSmosh FOLLOW US: TikTok: https://smo.sh/TikTok Snapchat: http://smo.sh/OnSnapchat Instagram: https://instagram.com/smosh Facebook: https://facebook.com/smosh Twitter: https://twitter.com/smosh Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Happy holidays
and welcome to Smosh Mouth. I'm
Shane. And I'm Amanda and we are
so happy to have you here because it is Christmas
Day and we are here to
chat about Christmas and we have two special guests Chance and Angela hi how are you guys doing today hi
Merry Christmas oh it is Christmas Day if you are listening to this on the day that this drops uh
yeah and it's a good day I hope you're having a good time Because we are We're having a great day
And we are all experiencing Christmas
Yeah, that's true
Okay, guys
I've had a bucket of eggnog
A bucket
Yeah, goodnight
Okay, for starters, I love eggnog
You do?
I love it. Like the original
way, God's intended way.
God's given eggnog
is my favorite. Because there's like a lot of
since I feel like there's a lot of like
fun ways. Trader Joe's has like an eggnog
liqueur that's fun. But it's
not like eggnog, eggnog. I gotta just put liquor in
my eggnog. Eggnog, eggnog
is like nuts. I've never put, I've never
successfully put liquor in eggnog.
Oh, I started.
But wait, you're drinking like eggs.
I drink eggnog.
Yeah, just full on.
What is that?
I don't know.
It's literally whipped eggs.
Good.
And I don't know the rest.
Do you know?
I actually don't, but it's delicious.
We have our team currently working on this right now.
A team of analysts are working very hard.
It seems like cream and egg yolk.
I think that eggnog, growing up, we always,
growing up, my grandparents would always put bourbon in it,
or you could put Baileys in it.
Oh, but that's so much cream already.
I know.
When you're drinking it, are you having it warm?
No, I would just get it out of the fridge, pour myself like a small glass of it, because you can't drink a ton of that.
I would just drink it.
It's just like a milkshake in a carton, right?
Yeah, but with bourbon, then it's alcoholic.
Have you not had eggnog?
I've had eggnog like cocktails.
Yeah, okay. Eggnog like cocktails. Yeah.
And eggnog like liqueur.
Like there's the Trader Joe's one that always goes out that me and my roommate grab immediately.
It's like this eggnog liqueur thing that is so freaking good. Well, they also make almond milk eggnog.
That sounds disgusting.
That if you have lactose issues, which I kind of do, I got almond milk eggnog.
Guys, I have a Christmas tree and we got almond milk eggnog and it was I have a Christmas tree, and we got almond milk eggnog,
and it was effing delicious.
To me, that is bizarre.
Saying you have dairy issues, but you want eggnog,
where do you even begin?
Just, like, what is that?
Just have a side of nutmeg.
Yeah, like, there's nothing you can have that you like about it.
Listen, I have the milky drink in my hand,
and it's not going to make me shit my pants to death.
No, you're right.
You should be able to have it, too.
But it's so dairy.
It is so dairy.
I would trust an oat milk eggnog.
Okay.
Ooh.
Okay.
We like that.
We don't like almond for some reason.
At that point, though, if I can't have dairy,
then I'm going to drink the hot cider.
That's gonna be my move.
So are those Christmas traditions for you guys?
Eggnog, hot cider?
What are the Christmas drink traditions for you guys?
Mold wine?
My mom loves to do the mold wine thing.
What is that?
Spices.
Spiced wine.
Tea, and it's tea.
So that's just wine? You can do tea and Spiced wine. Spiced wine. Tea. And it's tea. So that's just wine? What?
You can do tea and then red wine.
So that's just red wine with like a stick of cinnamon in it?
Yeah.
My mom makes it like in the crock pot.
Yeah.
Yes.
And I think it's, I'm not like a red wine person, but the mulled wine, I'm just kind
of like, eh, no.
It sounds like your family's doing pretty traditional.
My mom loves Christmas. And my grandma, Christmas was very stereotypical, like 50s Christmas with all the same decorations.
Christmas Eve was more like, just the vibes.
But my mom recently wanted to get into the mulled wine thing.
Mulled wine.
Well, mulled wine, for some reason,
the idea of it sits not right with me.
Well, yeah.
It's like heated up.
What did she do to you?
I think it's just like, good question.
I don't love it. Is that one of your drink traditions for Christmas?
Do you have?
Vodka.
Yes.
Straight.
Yes.
Vodka soda. What isn't your drink tradition? Ew, vodka soda on Christmas? Do you have? Vodka. Yes. Straight. Yes. Vodka soda.
But isn't your drink
traditional?
Vodka soda on Christmas?
Me, my parents,
yeah, 100%.
A vodka soda?
And Bailey's.
She loves Bailey's.
Ours is definitely like
gin, rosemary,
and cranberry,
and soda.
That sounds great.
And eggnog.
So there's a cool thing
that you can do.
You can put
cranberry, rosemary, and then freeze it.
Yes.
And make those ice cubes.
And then, yes.
It looks like a little tree in your cup.
Yes.
That's very Pinterest.
Your parents did that back in the day?
Fuck no, they did not.
Yeah.
I was going to say, that's very 2005 Pinterest girly.
No, no.
My parents did, well, we always had it at my grandparents.
So it was always eggnog and bourbon, lots of wine.
Like we are just a wine family.
And then just a bottle of Bailey's if you want it.
No, nothing really hot.
We didn't really do mulled wine or hot cider or any of that shit.
We didn't have any drink traditions growing up.
But my family doesn't really drink too much.
But did you grow up in a cold climate?
No, I grew up in Arizona.
Arizona, yeah.
So it's crazy you had hot drinks though.
We grew up in a cold climate,
but the thing about East Coast people is
when it's freezing, we drink iced coffee.
We're fucking weird.
We like cold things.
Wild.
Like I was just there on the East Coast in Southie
and it was so cold and everyone
got iced coffee even the cops i don't know why we don't like even the cops we don't like drinking
hot shit unless it's like coffee or or like later in the day but we even have hot coffee in the
summer wild we just don't have hot cider or any of that shit. Except on Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving is like hot cider, but
Christmas... Do you guys have traditions on
Christmas Day? Yes. What do you do
on Christmas Day? My family...
We open the Sock and Boppers and we go to town.
We open the presents. Okay, yeah. What was everyone's
Christmas like growing up? What the hell do we do?
What's Christmas morning tradition? Because some people I think go hard
on Christmas and some people grow up in families where
it's kind of like whatever. And that's fine. I was going some people, I think, go hard on Christmas, and some people grow up in families where it's kind of like, whatever.
And that's fine.
I was going to say, your mom. But Christmas Eve is stacked.
It's like, you've got to go this place, this place, this place, this place.
Your mom is an inspiration because I think I want to be that way.
I want my kids to be like, yeah, my mom takes this really seriously.
Because I have a crazy thing that I do that I thought about this morning
where I got in my car and I was like, oh, it's not December yet.
Where once December starts, I lock myself in musically and I will not let myself listen to anything but Christmas Carols.
100% same.
You only listen to Christmas music through all of December.
Once December starts.
If I want to listen to music, it's going to be a type of Christmas music.
I will not let myself.
And even this morning, I had like normal music playing and I was like, doesn't feel right.
Yep.
Really?
Feels like I should be listening to Christmas music.
I listened to Christmas music the moment I got my Christmas tree and I was like, oh no.
That's what I'm waiting for.
It has begun.
See, December 1st, I'm out.
Wow.
I think I'm usually day after Thanksgiving,
but there's such a long period this year that I'm like, I don't know if I can do five weeks.
Yeah, I'm waiting.
Four weeks, definitely.
Growing up, I was obsessed with Christmas music.
I was so stoked.
In fact, I would want to listen to it before Thanksgiving.
Like, if it started to play on one of those music channels on TV.
Yeah, yes, yes.
But as I've gotten older,
I don't know, man.
I think it's because
they're the same Christmas songs every year.
And I'm kind of like, all right.
Yeah, there's some remixes.
Yeah.
Like Ariana Grande.
Absolutely.
Santa Tell Me is my favorite Christmas song.
That one's good.
I mean, Faith Hill keeps you coming.
She'll redo something.
I love Faith Hill.
Oh, the Grinch.
The Grinch song. You know the Grinch. The Grinch song.
You know the Grinch song that she sings?
I was not expecting you to go, oh, the Grinch song.
Oh, okay.
So Christmas.
So Christmas.
Do you guys have any specific traditions on actual Christmas?
Yeah, we were talking about that.
Other than music?
Other than opening presents?
No.
So Christmas Day, I have a weird family where my parents were the black sheep
and moved out to California because my parents
got it. My dad got a job out here
when they just got married. For Marvel.
No, no.
That's a rumor.
So, so. Her dad's
Stan Lee. Okay.
Oh no, RIP. The only person that works
for Marvel at this company is Rasha.
Please.
Please. Put Rasha in a Marsha movie.
It's a Marsha movie now.
So all of my family, most of my family is in Florida and in Miami.
So every Christmas since I've been a kid, we go to Florida.
How did I not know that?
Yeah. Christmas since I've been a kid we go to Florida how did I know that yeah but then but then my my
Italian grandmother my dad's side once we moved here she moved here too she wanted to be with us
so at some point we were like okay we're gonna stay here for Christmas Eve to be with my grandma
that lives here and then Christmas day we're gonna open our gifts in the morning and then
we're gonna get on a plane Jesus so we can be in Florida the rest of the day.
Was that enjoyable?
Or you're doing that?
I mean, when we were little kids, I guess it worked out really well because we just
like get on the plane.
And I think it was cheaper for my parents to fly the day of.
Oh, yeah.
Super cheap.
And then ever since then, it was just like weirdly a fun tradition.
It started where like we would like get on the plane and then show up. Super cheap. And then ever since then, it was just like weirdly a fun tradition it started.
Where we would get on the plane and then show up.
And then all of my cousins would pick us up from the airport.
Wait, that's cute.
That's really cute.
And then we'd go straight to the house.
And it was just like another present party.
Okay.
That's really cute.
But now it's gotten old.
You're still doing that?
We're still doing it.
That sounds awful. Yeah, it's gotten old. You're still doing that? We're still doing it. That sounds awful.
Yeah, it's now old, and my brother and I will bring little shooters to the plane.
Wait, that sounds actually kind of fun.
My brother and I will just be in LAX at 9 a.m., and it's empty.
You know what?
I love the airport.
I love spending a year.
I think I switched about your opinion on this four times.
You know what?
That sounds really, really fun. Well, I feel like growing up,
my tradition was like,
it was very,
mine was like a five-day event.
Like it was like Christmas Eve
was very specific.
We always went to a party,
like my mom's good friend,
and then we always did midnight mass.
Always.
What's midnight mass?
Midnight mass is mass at midnight.
Got it. Mass is going to church? Yeah, going to church. So we would's midnight mass? Midnight mass is mass at midnight. Got it.
Mass is going to church? Yeah, going to church.
So we would do midnight mass and
every single night, every single
Christmas Eve, and then you go to bed
and then you wake up at like 5am.
Were the kids separated from the adults
or were the adults in the same room as the kids?
So my mom was a children's
liturgy teacher so she would take the kids into
a separate room. what age was the divide
out I
Don't know like it's like 13 when you're a teenager. Yeah, if you're like 14 or 15 you have to sit there wait
I'm on my seat. You got up again at 5 a.m. Yeah, we get up at like 5 or 6 sucks growing or what?
For Christmas your guys Christmas is suck
You're drinking hot dairy juice. Yeah, I'm over here drinking hot dairy juice and that's my only obligation.
Meanwhile, you guys are waking up early to travel across the country or go friggin listen to someone
Christmas is not rest. The holidays in my family are not rest. They're actually like, it's fucking go time.
Oh, this sounds like the East Coast or an Italian family.
It's a lot of people's holidays.
It is not rest.
A lot of religious family's holidays are work.
You wake up, you open your stocking, which always has clementines in it.
My mom just covered it in fruit.
And then random shit.
That's us with salami.
Yeah.
And then you have a big breakfast.
And then you go to your grandparents. My Christmas? Oh, my Christmas is salami. Yeah. And then you have a big breakfast. And then you go to your grandparents.
My Christmas?
Oh, my Christmas is rocked.
Okay?
I was having the, like, classic.
So ours was not, like, a religious Christmas.
My mom is religious, but, like, you know, so she would sometimes be like, yeah, and this is the day.
And I'd be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, cool, cool, cool.
Presents.
We're the kids.
But I was, so as a kid, I legit believed in Santa.
Like, hardcore.
And I was amped about it every year.
Spoiler alert, if you believe in Santa, turn this off now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, correct.
If you believe in Santa.
If you believe in Santa.
And your kids are around.
Stop watching.
Stop listening.
You're going to be disappointed.
But I would send the letter.
I would be thinking about it All Christmas
I'd be listening to Christmas music all the time
I loved it
You ever on the naughty list? Did you ever not get presents?
No
Would your parents do that to you?
No but they would put Cole in my brother's
Sometimes when he was really bad
Whoa
He would still get presents but but it'd be like,
hey, that's the whole point of it.
I know, but I can't believe,
I didn't know any parents actually committed.
Yeah, my parents aren't pussies.
Don't put coal in your fucking stocking, bitch.
They'd be like,
If you act like you deserve coal, you're gonna get coal.
It's actually so smart to use the metaphor
that society gave them.
What, I'm jumping on. I'm like, wow.
You're right.
It's like there for a reason.
It's the biggest report card of the year.
It is the biggest report card of the year.
Why not use it and cash in?
Where do you get coal?
What do you mean?
Where do you buy coal?
I mean, it's anywhere.
At the grocery store?
You're from the East Coast
and you don't know where to get coal?
You know, people like burn it to...
Yeah.
I don't know where to get coal.
But that gets your shit all messy.
Who puts that in?
And that's the point. Don't be acting all naughty.
Amanda's never grilled in her life.
So, Christmas Eve
night, we'd have like a nice dinner.
Family sort of thing.
That'd be kind of it. Otherwise, we're not
really doing anything crazy.
But I would go to bed and I would not
sleep. Because I'm just like...
I could so picture this.
That's why we're up at 5 a.m.
I remember looking out my window, trying to look up at the roof, being like,
do I see it? Do I see it? Oh, shit.
I heard footprints last night. Now, I'm stupid
for believing in Santa. Because my parents
were lazy about it.
They were lazy about
doing the whole thing. You know. We'd set out the cookies
and the milk for Santa,
leave a little note.
But I would wake up
at like five in the morning
and I'd be ready to go.
And then I'd be kind of
peeking out, whatever.
And then six to seven,
sometimes I think it'd be
like 7 a.m.
And I would hear commotion
because my parents
wake up super early and then my mom
would be like yeah santa's not done uh with that's hilarious doing his stuff and looking back i'm
like okay got it um but you just ate that shit up but i but i'm like you could have just like
done it earlier in the night or whatever but i'm like you guys woke up and like all right let's set
up i think most parents did you guys they do it were like, all right, let's set up all this stuff.
I think most parents...
I think they do it.
Oh, my mom took down a whole bottle.
My mom had a whole bottle of Sauvignon Blanc
and would build the trampoline with my dad,
and then they would go to bed.
They would do it at night.
Oh, yeah, me and my brother once got a trampoline.
How many trampolines?
Oh, God.
Every year we'd get a new trampoline.
Every year.
They would stack on top of each other.
So you guys all believed in Santa? Yeah. Growing year. They would stack on top of each other. So you guys all
believed in Santa?
Yeah.
Growing up.
Whoa, whoa, what the fuck?
No, my finger
just wanted to do this.
Can I tell you,
I did not for too long.
And I had a moment
with my mom
that's absolutely hilarious to me
where there was one year
where I like,
I like,
I was talking to her
about Santa and I was talking to her
about Santa, and I was talking to her
about the mechanics of it, and I was young,
and I was like, I just like, you know,
I was like, I don't wanna go to bed too late,
because I wanna make sure we're not awake
so he can come in and feel good about it.
And then I was just like, but you know,
and I was kind of second guessing it,
and I remember my mom was on the toilet.
And she was in the bathroom, and I was in her other,
she was in the small toilet room, and I was in the bathroom and I was in her like other her her she
was like in the small toilet room and I was in like her bathroom bathroom and I was like you know
and then she walks out of the bathroom and she looks at me and she was like eye contact with me
I went and we just had this like deep eye contact and I went he's not real is he
she looked at me and she went yeah he's not real It was literally just eye contact
And I went
How old were you?
I don't know but I remember being young
And it was just the look she gave me
And I went
Got it and then we never spoke of it again
That's insane
She was probably just like my job is done
You guys had like an HBO level scene
I think my mom was just like, I'm done with this bullshit.
I actually love your mom for that.
I respect that.
My parents tried to keep up the Santa.
I found out that Santa wasn't real when I literally was like, I was so investigative.
This is when Harriet the Spy movie came out.
I was Harriet the Spy all over my house.
Harriet the who?
Harriet the Spy.
Remember that movie?
Anyways, you're
not a girl in the 90s so i would like hide behind the couch and be like today my mom is working on
food and she's baking oh no so i was very investigative so i remember like days before
christmas i went up to my parents room and my dad wasn't there and my mom wasn't there and i was like
all right what's going on in here?
And I searched their closet and their closet was like another house.
I swear to God, their closet was like multiple apartments.
I was like, whoa, whoa.
This is naughty list behavior.
This is naughty list behavior.
And I found a whole big stack of two all two, all my sister's names from Santa.
And I was like,
and I remember asking,
I was like,
mom,
is Santa not real?
And she was like,
don't tell your sisters.
And I was like,
okay.
Cause my only,
my little sister believed it.
Honestly,
that's probably,
that's probably one of the best things you could have found when searching
your parents closet as a kid.
You could have been way worse I feel oh
I just feel like I don't know yeah, I think I was I think I was like kind of older
I think I was like I was like 17. I think I was yeah 21. I saw
Santa I saw him. So I don't know why you guys are talking like this because it's really blasphemous.
Blasphemous?
Blasphemous.
Yeah.
I mean.
I saw my mom brought home books that I'd asked for and I saw them, or I asked Santa for.
Of course you'd ask for books.
That's hot.
I would like four Bibles.
She forgot to put them away and they were on the counter
in a bag. I still saw them and I was like, I asked Santa She forgot to put them away and they were on the counter in a bag.
I still saw them.
I was like, I asked Santa for those.
So why are you buying the bitch?
And then I got them from Santa.
But I didn't say anything to my mom.
And I kept it a secret for like two years because I didn't want her to know that I know.
And I didn't want my little brothers and sisters to know that I knew.
And so we had to keep it a secret.
Wow. You're good at being like,
everyone needs to be on the same page about this.
That's really sweet.
Where I was like, mom, we need to talk.
No, see, so I believed in him.
And like I said, my parents would be lazy in that way.
But then when I would ask, my mom would not budge.
No.
She'd be like, he's real.
I would prod too.
And I'm talking, she held on until I was like 15.
Yeah, oh wow.
And I'm like, mom, I know he's not.
And she'd be like, well, I don't know.
I think he's real.
And I think, because I was the youngest,
so I know she wanted to like hold on to it.
But I'm also like, if you wanted me to really believe,
you should have really pulled out all the stops then.
But you would be lazy, but then be like, yeah,
but he's real. We are so
hard on our parents. They would make
Christmas great, and I didn't
care. I would also be like, yeah, I know he's not
real. I still love Christmas.
That is a beautiful Christmas
movie with Debra Messing,
a mom.
Debra Messing? with like Deborah Messing, a mom. Oh, the Mothman Prophecy.
Why Deborah Messing?
Why Deborah Messing?
Okay, bitch, I'm not a casting director.
Whoa, whoa.
You're getting cold this year.
Let me pitch my movie.
Let me pitch my movie and you can cast her later.
Also.
Okay, it's in our picture movie.
Yes.
Wait, what?
If you, we had a rule in my house.
If you search for the presents,
if you found the presents,
you wouldn't get the presents.
Whoa!
Whoa!
Your parents were cutthroat.
Absolutely!
You're getting cold.
Shit!
What?
My parents had no boundaries, okay?
No boundaries! They still don't.
They still don't.
I would purposefully not search
because I think at a certain point I knew,
but I didn't want to like,
so I was like,
no, I have to believe.
It teaches you to wait for surprises.
Because if you don't believe, then he's not real.
100%.
Okay, Angela, pitch your movie, because I'm dying.
Yeah, let's hear this.
It's a mother whose last kid,
so all the kids have gone to college or growing up,
and it's a kid that's 15, and it's like you.
You could play him.
I'll put in a good word to casting.
I'm not sure about that.
Yeah, they're cutthroat.
Okay, and so she's a woman and she's like,
she's very heavy, heavy physical comedy woman, okay?
She's a Julia Louis-Dreyfus, I would say type, okay?
But I don't wanna say anything for casting.
And she's super sad her son is growing up
and it's her last kid.
And she's one of those types of stay-at-home moms
where like-
Risa Tomei.
That she doesn't... She doesn't...
Her identity is being a mother.
So now that her kids grow up
and they don't need her anymore,
she's freaking out.
So it's this age where her son doesn't believe in...
It's like doesn't believe in Santa anymore.
And she's like, no, no, no, no, no.
Santa's real.
Santa's real.
So the whole movie,
she's like really making him believe in Santa.
And she like gets a sleigh
and gets all this stuff and she goes out of control. Tell me, she's like really making him believe in Santa. And she like gets a sleigh and gets all this stuff.
And she goes out of control.
Tell me that she's divorced and she has a boyfriend that's like a part of it.
You got it.
And they finally get closer because she's like, I need help, but I don't want to put this on you.
And he's like, let me help you.
And she's in full prosthetics as a Santa.
Whoa.
And then finally at the end, she's like, I can't do this.
And he's like, Mom, I'm not going anywhere.
I love you.
Okay, I think,
I don't know about
Debra Messing though.
I don't know about Debra Messing.
But I'm in.
Yeah, yeah,
not Debra Messing,
but otherwise, good.
Good.
Maybe,
you know who's probably
going to steal that project
is Reese Witherspoon.
You think so?
I don't think she's,
she's playing those roles.
Laura Linney?
No, she's too big.
She's too big.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, you're getting cold.
If you had kids, would you make them believe in Santa?
100%.
You'd let that go?
Absolutely.
I want to keep the magic alive.
Bitch, I want to dress up. I want them to catch me. I find myself. I have to keep the magic alive. Bitch, I want to dress up.
I want them to catch me.
I have to role play.
You're like fucking making a D&D for them.
Absolutely.
A whole world.
You know what I won't do?
I'm like roll for persuasion.
I won't do that freaking creepy elf.
I won't do elf on the shelf.
Elf on the shelf?
The bullshit stops here.
Have you seen what some parents are doing to their kids? If you guys like elf on the shelf. Elf on the shelf? The bullshit stops here. Have you seen what some parents are doing to their kids?
If you guys like elf on the shelf, stop listening.
They draw on their face with marker and they're like, look what the elf did.
And the kid's like, oh, man.
My sister does elf on the shelf and she by accident left it by the oven.
And this elf on the shelf fucking was deformed.
Half its face was melted and my sister went, elf on the shelf is
fucked. And she made her husband
go out and get elf on the shelf and I'm like,
come on.
That's so funny. I thought it started
as like a non-profit.
I don't, I thought you just buy
one of these elves and then you just hide it every day.
You hide it and if you touch the elf
then something bad happens.
Don't touch the elf. Never touch the elf. something bad happens. Don't touch the elf.
What?
Never touch the elf.
Okay, I want to pitch my movie now.
Okay, is it Elf on the Shelf?
No, it's not Elf on the Shelf.
Okay.
That will be a horror movie soon though.
Yes.
Why is it not?
I can't believe it's not, honestly.
Yeah, Elf on the Shelf is terrible.
And Debra Messing tries to put her in the oven.
Oh, enough with Debra Messing!
Okay, Elf on the Shelf can have Debra Messing.
Yeah, I agree. Yeah, she seems a little bit stern, and I'm into that.
Okay, who's the elf?
Who's the elf?
I don't think anyone's the elf.
Jacob Elordi.
I think the elf is just, it's the little elf.
I don't think anyone plays the elf.
It's the little elf.
Who's going to voice the elf?
Thank you.
Not Jacob Elordi.
Not Jacob Elordi. It has to be someone with a weird little voice. Who's going to voice the elf? Thank you. Not Jacob Elordi. Not Jacob Elordi.
It has to be someone with a weird little voice.
Oh, yeah.
I'd love to throw my name in the hat.
Okay.
Angela, let's hear it.
Booked it.
I'm a little elf on the shelf.
Okay.
Let me try.
Yes.
I want to put my name in the ring, too.
Okay.
Go ahead, Chance.
Oh.
Don't throw up.
I'm a little elf on the shelf.
You're barely going to be able to keep that voice over.
He literally stole my choices.
Okay, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine.
I'm a little elf on the shelf.
Literally the exact same thing you just did.
That's called gremlins.
Here's my elf on the shelf.
Hey, you guys going to go to bed or what's the deal?
I have a question for you guys.
Do you guys do presents for your friends?
Some of them.
Occasionally.
No, because I get into this all the time because my love language is gift giving,
and that shoots me in the foot financially because I am obsessed with buying gifts for people.
Can I tell you what you can do?
Secret Santa.
Me and my sister stopped buying gifts for each other.
We now do Secret Santa.
We pick our names out of the hat on an internet thing, and that's what I do
with my friends.
I was going to say, though, my favorite gifts at this point
are little, small, little things.
Things that cost less than
$3 sometimes, or sometimes
my favorite things. Yeah, like a penny that's
flattened. That's what I want.
Actually, I'm not kidding. If someone gave me that,
I'd be like, hell yeah.
Then what do you do with it?
I don't know.
Where does it go?
Trinket drawer.
Like, trinket drawer?
I think you have to, I think presents for friends is too hard.
Unless you get like a bottle of wine, which is still like, that adds up if you're getting that for a lot of people.
Why not with it?
I always say consumables are the best gifts.
Consumables.
Candles, like any sort of like cheese,
maybe a nice cheese or something,
or wine, something like that.
Like a restaurant gift card?
Because that way there's no pressure on like
knowing if they kept it.
Like if it's gone the next week and they re-gifted it,
you don't know if they drank it or not.
Gift card is hard because then you know how much it is.
Yeah, gift cards.
You're like, ooh, $15.
I just don't, I don't know much it is. Yeah, gift cards. You're like, ooh, $15. I just don't.
I don't know.
I have no problem with gift cards, but I don't like to give gift cards.
Yeah.
But if I receive a gift card, I'm stoked.
Yeah.
I got a couple gifts already.
Really?
I haven't started at all.
I got your gifts already.
See, that's what annoys me.
You got us gifts?
Yeah.
Now we have to get him one.
No, you don't.
Just so you know, we're not recording this on Christmas Day, obviously. So I haven't started my Christmas shopping. No, you don't. Just so you know, we're not recording this on Christmas Day, obviously.
So I haven't started my Christmas shopping.
I mean, it's not Christmassy at all.
That's not how that works.
We have no Christmas decorations in here, I just realized.
No, there's none at all.
We're not dressed for it.
No, nothing.
So, yeah, I think.
No, I didn't mean to say that was annoying.
But it is a weird territory.
I think friends like within this
age range walk where it's like it's not like a a known thing to get each other gifts so it's like
sometimes i have a friend that will get me a gift and sometimes they won't and then sometimes i fear
i see it in their eyes when i get them a gift and they're like i didn't get you something for
christmas and then it's like this weird thing that's why i just don't do it unless it's like
a party or a hang and you know that there's gonna be gifts
that are gonna be exchanged.
The only time I get people gifts
is when I see something and I'm like,
this deserves to be theirs.
I'm the same one.
And I think I'm the person to give it to.
And you got us gifts.
Because there was something, yes.
Did you get us all the same thing?
No.
Wow. So you happened to be seeing something and you saw it for all, something. Did you get us all the same thing? No. Wow.
So you happened to be seeing something,
and you saw it for all, something for all three of us.
You're not going to guess it.
Sorry.
All three of us are going to like this.
Oh, no, it's different.
Different things.
I do like giving people gifts.
I love it.
But it is tough, because I'm the same way,
where I'm not going to give someone a gift just to give them a gift.
So bad at it.
I only, only if i see something that
i'm like oh yeah i'm not a good gift uh gifts gifts are not my love language really like i i'd
rather like do something for someone but it's like every year and some of my sisters are just on it
they're like all right mom dad nieces nephews i'm obsessed and i'm just like i can't it's gift
i'd rather spend the money on a trip home to see them at a time that's opportune.
Like gift giving.
It's just not, it's not my love language.
I don't know.
I don't know what it is.
It's like, and I don't even like shopping.
Like I, like you guys know me.
I don't like buying stuff for me.
I never online shop for me.
I never go shopping for me.
Like all my clothes are still from, so many of my clothes are still from high school.
Like I just don't. Yeah, that shirt are still from high school. I just don't.
That shirt is definitely from high school.
I wear this all the time, but it's like I
don't.
Oh my god, do not throw up.
Do not cry.
Don't cry and don't throw up.
Buying somebody else something is just
so fucking fun because for some reason
it's just easier.
Especially if you nail it.
Last Christmas
I saw a gift from my mom
where I was like, oh, this is it.
And I made her tear up.
And I was like,
let's freaking go.
Was it an aura frame?
Do you know those maple balls
that I've made?
Yes!
So those are a recipe that my grandma made
that was, it's just like a family recipe thing.
It's so easy to make though.
And I was able to get the recipe engraved
on a cutting board.
And so it's a little more decorative. It's not like a cutting board you're going to eat.
But I got that for my mom, and she
yeah, it was...
That is amazing. What's the best gift you guys have
given? Because that sounds like a really amazing gift.
I was stoked on that. It's truly not even
a price thing. It's a thought thing.
Yeah, it's a thought thing.
I think it's like creative writing, but in the form
of stuff.
Two years ago, I got my mom, because we had a really rough year that year, and she was feeling really lonely.
And I spent, I think, $15 because it was a rescue kitten.
And I just got her a kitten.
Oh, my gosh.
Truly.
But it was the cheapest gift ever.
But it was just a kitten.
I always, as a kid, dreamed of that Christmas morning where you'd have a new pet.
I know.
Never happened.
It was truly the coolest thing.
Where I got to wrap up like a leash or whatever or like a collar and she was like, what is this?
It was actually so funny.
I wrapped up a cat toy that was one of those cat toys with a ball around like a thing.
And then it was so funny.
It happened on tape where I was like, it's for anxiety.
Look. And she goes, this is so nice and she kept playing with it and i was like it's supposed to calm you
down she kept playing with it she was trying to be so nice she was like interesting thank you angela
interesting thank you that classic that old video of that kid unwrapping an avocado. It's an avocado.
Thanks.
What about you?
Did you give a really the best gift?
Give or get an incredible gift.
You cook good stuff around Christmas.
You cook good stuff around Christmas.
Me too.
That's my gift.
If someone baked me a pie, I'd be stoked.
Those are my gifts.
I usually have a dinner party or something where I just cook the shit out of shit.
Are there things you cook or bake every year?
Lately, yes.
I do thumbprint cookies.
Nice.
They're actually my favorite.
With your actual thumbprint on it?
I put my actual thumb and I shove it in the cookie dough.
And I do strawberry jam or raspberry jam or like apricot
jam
jam
I do love to cook
cooking is like
my favorite thing
is there a good gift
that you got
I can't look at you right now
hey be nice
I'm sorry
Chance is just playing
with his hair
that's all
for those listening
Chance is just playing
with his hair right now.
Yeah, and he's really stroking his hair.
What do you like to cook at Chris's time?
Loaded mashed potato casserole is a must.
What's in that?
Okay, so I use, my mom uses a lot of sour cream,
bacon, and cheddar cheese.
I use Greek yogurt, because I like the,
it's lighter and healthier.
And then I still do bacon, but I pour the bacon grease
into the mashed potatoes and stir it up
instead of like butter or some.
And you're from a cold climate area, right?
What is this cold climate question?
I have, we have, Nashville has all four seasons.
Oh, Nashville.
A lot of times it'll, you're good.
A lot of times it will.
I'm trying not to, I don't think it had anything to do with it.
I think it was coincidence.
But when you were like, yeah, I like to do Greek yogurt because it's this and this and healthier.
I swear.
And then baking grease.
Amanda, you were just kind of like.
I don't think it was.
I think you were just thinking about something else.
But I also, I had a voice in my head that was like, boo.
No, but I don't like the taste of sour cream,
and I like the taste of Greek yogurt.
When I go for a scoop of mashed potato casserole,
I know I'm not getting anything else.
I'm not trying to be healthy with a mashed potato casserole.
I'm not trying to be healthy.
I'm trying to cut where I can cut.
And I don't notice the difference between sour cream and Greek yogurt.
And if it's going to make a big difference in calories and fat,
which it does, then I'm going to cut it.
If it's Christmas, I'm trying to take years off my life.
It's way healthier.
Boom.
What are we doing here?
I want the nastiest foods on Christmas.
And I'm putting rosemary, I'm putting sage, and I'm putting garlic, and I'm putting onion powder in.
It does sound incredible.
I'm putting some paprika in for a little bit of spice.
Sounds great.
Oh, yeah.
What do you guys eat?
Some people eat turkey, and some people eat ham.
We do Thanksgiving dinner again.
You do?
It's the exact same spread.
Ours is a little different.
We do not touch turkey.
What do you guys eat?
You're a ham family?
Buffalo chicken dip?
You're a ham-ly?
No, we used to do
lamb with mint jelly.
What?
I love a lamb!
We used to do
lamb with mint jelly,
spicy jelly,
roast chicken 100%, and then we used to do lamb with mint jelly, spicy jelly, roast chicken 100%.
And then we used to do pearl onion, basically a pearl onion soup.
It all sounds great.
Kind of old school.
But we do a baked ziti.
That makes sense.
Just one big ass baked ziti.
And then we do a bacayau.
Huh?
Bacayau.
We've been doing bacayau every year.
Bacayau is salted cod.acchaeo. We've been doing Bacchaeo every year. Bacchaeo is salted cod.
It's Portuguese.
Oh, cool.
So we'll have a whole dish set up.
And my uncle's a fisherman, so he'll bring a bunch of smoked fish.
And then Bacchaeo is like, it's kind of a bit of an acquired taste, but some people love it.
I just am used to it.
It's literally very salted, shredded cod.
Sounds awesome.
And you can put it on bread.
You can put it on sweet bread, which is Portuguese.
I feel like Christmas is when a lot of the Portuguese traditions come out.
That's cool.
Christmas Eve, we would do steak and crab.
Oh, my God.
But my parents have cows, so the steak is like, they have full cows in there.
Whoa.
But I don't like steak.
Oh.
I love steak.
So then I just eat the crab.
Okay.
And a load of mashed potato casserole.
But then Christmas, eat Christmas Day, we do chicken and waffles.
I'm not hating on-
Chicken and waffles?
That sounds incredible.
I'm not hating on my mom and our cooking.
Our cooking is just very standard
spread. I'm jealous
of all this insane shit that you
guys are... You can. I mean,
now that I live on the West Coast, I
literally am
married to someone who eats Russian
food. Basically, like, Jewish food.
Where do you get the lamb?
That makes sense for Portuguese. The lamb is East Coast.
The lamb is East Coast. The lamb is East Coast. I do not sense for Portuguese. The lamb is East Coast.
The lamb is East Coast.
I do not eat lamb here.
The lamb is East Coast.
But here we'll have, like, he likes salted herring,
which I'm not the biggest fan of.
Is that a bird?
No, that's a fish.
Herring is a fish.
Herring is a fish.
But it'll be, like, a lot of, like, pickles and, like, onions and beets.
And he makes the most amazing dish where it's, like,
really thinly sliced potatoes
and then meat that you kind of hammer down,
flattened cheese, onion, tomatoes,
and you put it in the oven and it's layered.
I could literally have it for days.
That sounds incredible.
It is so good.
Yeah.
And they make cabbage wraps.
Like him and his mom are just phenomenal cooks.
No, see, I grew up in the household that had the canned cranberry.
Ah, yeah.
That's the kind of food we're having.
I'm having Big Z for Christmas Eve.
But then Christmas Day, I'm meeting at LAX.
Oh, that's true.
What do you eat at LAX?
Yikes.
We go to the Dunkin' Donuts.
Okay.
And we get a donut and an iced coffee.
You don't go to the Chili's 2?
That's a mistake.
There's a Chili's at LAX?
There's a Chili's 2.
What do you mean a Chili's 2?
Oh, a Chili's to go.
A Chili's to go.
No, there's a whole bar and everything.
You can sit down.
Oh, yeah.
You've never been to the Chili's at LAX?
You have not lived.
It's the terminal you're at.
I think it's the terminal.
What airline are you going through?
Because I've never seen a Chili's.
I'm either at the Southwest.
I like the different districts of Hunger Games.
I've been there. I've never been there.
I love Southwest. You have to go.
It's always lit. It's always
packed. Terminal 4.
Let us know in the comments who is at the
Chili's 2.
Let's do a meet up. A smosh mouth
meet up. At the Chili's 2 in LA up. Let's do a meet up. A Smosh mouth meet up.
At the Chili's 2 in LA.
We have to buy plane tickets to go.
Where are we going? Actually, someone did do their birthday party at a Chili's at an airport.
And people had to buy tickets to go to the birthday party.
That is so much fun.
That is so much fun.
It was a big deal when it happened.
This was a couple years ago.
You're going to go on a trip this weekend.
It's my birthday.
You have to meet me at a Chili's too
before you go. Didn't someone talk about doing that
with a Waffle House here? Was that you?
Are there Waffle Houses? No, but we
were talking about getting a flight
to go to a Waffle House. Oh, God.
I want to do that. Chicken and waffles on Christmas
Day, though. I am so jealous of that.
Chicken and waffles. I freaking love
chicken and waffles. Me too. I don't know what I'm going to do
this Christmas because I'm here on the West Coast.
Probably just a bunch of Russian food.
Fun.
Sounds incredible.
The only thing is, Russian food, I'm not used to it because it's so much sour cream.
I can't tell if you're kidding.
No, I'm dead serious.
My husband lives and dies by sour cream.
That's so funny.
I call him Dairy Queen because he loves dairy.
One of my best friends in middle school
we had, I remember
I came over to her house after school
in middle school and we had ravioli
and I was like, yes, I love ravioli.
And she put a huge scoop of sour cream
on top of it. And I went, whoa!
Never seen this before. It wasn't ricotta? No!
It wasn't mascarpone? No, no, no.
It was sour cream.
Yummy. seen this before. It wasn't ricotta? No. It wasn't mascarpone? No, no, no. It was sour cream. Yeah, absolutely.
Yummy.
God dang.
Yeah.
We really love talking
about food and drink
on this episode.
Okay.
That's so holiday-coded.
That is a lot of Christmas.
But also,
what's very Christmassy
for me is movies.
Oh, yeah.
You watch the same
movies every year.
Oh, not my family.
Oh, my mom.
We're watching the biggest blockbuster.
We love to watch the biggest blockbuster.
Ooh.
Not always.
What's this year?
Even if it's like, well, it's what comes out on Christmas.
I mean, a lot of movies come out Christmas Day.
Oh, so you guys go to the theater.
We go to the theater around that time,
but on the actual day, we'll watch whatever the biggest one is
that's just getting released.
We watched Black Adam last year. Oh, just getting released. We watched Black Adam last year.
We watched Black Adam.
And my whole family is like, let's watch.
Well, we also love superhero things.
Oh, you're all into it.
Even my mom is like crying.
She's like, did you like Loki? I'm like, yeah, I liked it.
Oh, see, my parents are not into that at all.
My mom, every year
she's just like, oh,
it's a wonderful life.
Oh my gosh.
Nobody else is going to watch it with her,
but sometimes I'll be like,
all right, I'll sit.
Ours is a Christmas story.
I can't fucking stand that movie.
Really?
It plays just nonstop.
You're going to end up watching that movie
whether you like it or not.
A Christmas story growing up.
We were so annoyed.
There's the one part that annoyed. It is annoying.
Ours is the Christmas episode of West Wing.
What? That's the most insane thing
I think I've ever heard in my life.
We watch it a lot.
What?
Or we watch the Christmas compilation episode of SNL.
My family loves that.
Ours is The Grinch. Love Actually. I love The Grinch.
That's my favorite movie in the world. Wait, okay, okay. Whoa. That's the one Christmas thing
you brought. Chance is wearing Grinch socks and they're amazing. Aren't they amazing? That is,
I will say, the Ron Howard How the Grinch Stole Christmas Is that the Jim Carrey one?
Yes
Is my favorite
It's so good
But besides Christmas movies
I think it's top 10
One of my favorite movies
In the world
Wow
It is beautiful
It's beautiful
Don't say you've never seen it
I have seen it
I haven't seen it
Since I saw it in theaters
Oh my god
I remember not like
Shane
You can't even say that
You can't even say that
I didn't love it When I saw it in theaters.
But Shane, I know you,
and I know the comedy genius you are.
You could take that.
You could take that.
I just give you a compliment.
Wow, good compliment.
And I think if you rewatch it right now...
No, but I think if you rewatch it right now,
there are so many hidden gems for adults in there
that are brilliant jokes.
So funny.
Max, a car with a pipe for itself by now.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Back to my pitch. Back to my pitch.. Oh, my God. Back to my pitch.
Back to my pitch.
Oh, yeah, movie pitch.
Back to my pitch.
Movie pitch.
Okay.
It's a sequel to The Grinch.
Cindy Lou is grown up.
Who?
The Grinch is gone now.
Cindy Lou who is grown up.
I just said her first name.
The Grinch is gone now.
She's looking for love.
Oh.
She's looking for love.
But she keeps trying.
She's a slut.
She just gets people over. Then she keeps trying She's a slut. She just
gets people over and then she wants people to put
on a Grinch mask.
Oh my god. So she has
a Grinch. I like how this movie is just an episode of
Seinfeld. Cindy Lou has a
Grinch fetish. So she's looking
for love. George, she wants me
to put this mask on. She's trying. She's like, fuck, this is my king.
Wait, is this a horror or a thriller?
No, I think it's like I don't know what it is. So she gets on. She's trying. She's like, fuck, this is my king. Wait, is this a horror or a thriller? No, I think it's like,
I don't know what it is.
So she gets people. Maybe a musical.
She gets Madelon, almost like Promising Young Woman,
and she's like, hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
She's like, hey,
throw on this mask. And I'm like, okay.
And they put on the mask, and then she goes,
throw on the bodysuit, and they have to put on the Jim Carrey
bodysuit. That's crazy.
It's the actress who played Cindy Lou Who?
Oh, that's crazy.
Where is she now?
Christine Baranski's performance in that movie.
Yes.
It's legend!
My sister was her for Halloween.
I am clearly the only person in this room who...
So my sister and my brother-in-law were them for Halloween this year. only person in this room where she's like, hi.
So my sister and my brother-in-law
were them for Halloween
this year.
Wow.
And my sister,
he looked insane
because remember
it's the big ass eyebrows.
Was it Jeffrey Tambor?
Yes,
I think so.
I wish we five nights
at Freddy's
and made it look like
it was a real story
but you would have known.
What?
Yeah,
there's a real story
about this green guy.
I know the Grinch.
I've seen this.
The animated one is the one I liked as a kid.
See, I think you as a comedian would love.
The Jim Carrey one.
Yeah, it's just so good.
I know everything about it, too.
I know that he had to go through CIA torture training in order to do that role
because it was so insane.
CIA torture training?
Yes, because the makeup was so intense
and it was nine hours of putting it on every day.
Dinner with myself?
I can't cancel that again.
Yeah.
No, growing up and still,
Home Alone is number one.
I don't think any Christmas movie
is better than Home Alone.
Elf?
Joe Pesci.
Elf is funnier,
but Home Alone is overall a better movie.
Home Alone is a classic.
Home Alone is, I think, a perfect movie.
And Die Hard.
Die Hard, I get.
They're the same movie. You said the same thing twice.
People can say Die Hard is a Christmas movie.
I don't have a problem with that.
I don't think it's a fun movie to watch on Christmas.
I love it on Christmas.
I'd rather watch the Polar Express.
I do not like that one. Absolutely not.
You know what I think is a Christmas movie? Oh, whoa,
whoa, Polar Express? We have hate for Polar Express?
Fuck that movie. Whoa!
That movie's so weird, I do not like that movie.
That movie's nightmare. Whoa! The book is great,
but the movie sucks. Yeah, I agree.
I agree. Do you love it?
I love the Polar Express.
I hate that movie.
The hot cocoa scene alone. Oh, Tom Hanks the Polar Express. Wait, the animation. Hate that movie.
The hot cocoa scene alone.
Oh, Tom Hanks came to slay.
Yeah, he did.
You know how many people he voices?
Slay, S-L-E-I-G.
He also voices the little black girl.
I don't know if you knew that.
No, stop.
No, he didn't.
You could have gotten us.
Tom Cruise voices the black girl
in Polar Express
Tom Hanks
it's true
Tom Hanks
Tom Cruise
is in it
and he just
plays that role
Tom Cruise
has a special appearance
of playing
the black girl
in Polar Express
he is talented
he is
say what you will
but he is talented
he really went against
type on that one
I went to go see
the Polar Express
in theaters
and I remember
it was the day
I got my
Livestrong bracelet.
Yes.
What a time.
See, that's a mistake.
That's why that movie sucks.
We took a field trip to go see it.
Oh, it was amazing.
You guys have to appreciate the Christmas movies that come out now
because they are going against all of nostalgia.
They are pushing against.
I love that.
It is so hard for them.
Also, you know what else is a Christmas movie?
Goodfellas.
What?
Goodfellas is such a Christmas movie, but I cannot rewatch that.
I want to watch an uplifting movie.
I want to watch an uplifting movie on Christmas Day.
I want to watch, but Home Alone.
It's uplifting.
The end makes me cry every time.
When he looks out the window and the neighbor's hugging his son.
I'm always just like, God dang.
I love that.
So as a kid, it didn't make me cry because I didn't give a shit about the neighbor and his son.
I'd be like, fuck this guy.
You got to go beat up those burglars.
Yeah.
Now, as an adult, when I hear the whole like him at the church and he's talking, he's just like, yeah, I don't talk to my son anymore.
I don't talk to my daughter anymore.
And he's like, yeah, I love our differences, whatever.
And then you see at the end, they reconcile.
They reconcile.
It was so sweet.
It's about family, and it's got multiple levels of it.
Yeah, that look when she comes in the door and sees him.
It's so sweet.
Oh, you know what movie my brother and I are obsessed with growing up
was Christmas with the Cranks.
Christmas with the Cranks.
I've never seen it.
Oh, my God.
Wait, who's in that?
Wait, who are the actors?
It's the guy who plays Santa Claus. Oh my god. Wait, who's in that? It's, wait, who are the actors? It's the guy who plays Santa Claus.
And oh.
Tim Allen.
Tim Allen.
Oh, Tim Allen.
And the girl in the Activia commercials.
Jamie Lee Curtis.
Jamie Lee Curtis.
OK, they get these crazy tans.
Because they're like, we're, it's OK.
I'm not going to explain a movie you haven't seen.
Anyway, nobody wants to listen to a podcast of a girl explaining
a movie
you guys
yeah I do
y'all remember
I don't know
they're describing
premises of every
Christmas movie
you know what was
super influential
in my childhood
was the
Christmas episode
of Codename
Kids Next Door
okay
and the whole
I don't even know
what this is
Codename Kids Next Door
but also that's a fun topic is
Christmas episodes
so what is the episode about?
it's like they go to the North Pole
I tried
oh is he making this up?
no
no it was a real show
but their Christmas special was bonkers
they were like they went to the North Pole to save him,
but they were like also X-Men coded.
So like there was Wolverine with like.
Stop.
You're so mad at it.
No, I just, it's so crazy.
It's like when I watched Krampus.
Did you guys ever see Krampus?
No.
What?
No.
It's a Christmas horror movie.
It's about Krampus.
That's probably why I didn't see it.
And it's insane.
Me and my sister watched it.
It's wild.
Is Santa Claus the bad guy or is there something else?
No, there's something else.
And it's Krampus.
And he's a demon.
Oh.
He's a Christmas demon.
Does he give people gifts though?
I need a Sarah Christ Christmas movie.
He does not give people gifts.
She's like, oh, there's Christmas time.
Yeah.
Yeah, let me pitch my Christmas movie with Sarah Christ. Yeah. Sarah Christ Christmas movie. He does not give people. She's like, oh, this Christmas time. Yeah. Yeah, let me pitch my Christmas movie with Sarah Christ.
Yeah.
Sarah Christ.
I kind of want her to find love at the end.
But, and the guy's like, I got you a little gift.
And she's like, shut the fuck up.
She like slaps him across the foot.
I kind of want, it's Sarah Christ and I kind of want that Home Alone moment where she reconciles with her daughter.
But she's on the search for a killer.
And it's the Creekside Killer.
Wait, I know how the trailer ends.
You zoom out and it's a snow globe,
and on the edge of the snow globe
it's this woman walking, smoking, going,
I don't know how to get out of here.
Yes!
Wait, that's brilliant.
She's outside of the snow globe? No, she's on the edge of it.
Just being like, I don't know how to get out.
I don't know how to get out of here.
And the Creekside Killer is just on the thing.
And it's just her in her own snow globe searching for the Creekside Killer.
God, that is so perfect.
Just to get out.
My Christmas movie would be a combination of Snowpiercer and Polar Express.
Oh, so now you love Polar Express.
Fuck yeah.
No, but that combo I'd like.
No, I like Polar Express.
You have to get through the train.
I like the story of Polar Express.
Let's go back really quick.
I like the story of Polar Express.
The animation and everything in that movie tripped me the hell out.
Me too.
I did not like the animation.
And there's that one kid who's annoying as shit with the glasses.
I'm like, Kick him off the train
Throw him out into the cold
Let me see him freeze to death
I hate this
Otherwise
That theme
The choir theme in the song
The music's great
The eyes are dead
The eyes are so dead I can't get The animation really fucked me up. The eyes are dead. The eyes are so dead.
I can't get into it.
Which reminds me of,
remember that animation back in the day?
What was it?
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
Oh, yeah.
Claymation.
What is that movie called?
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
Okay, thank you.
We talked about it,
The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus,
the one where he fights dragons.
Yes.
That one's nuts.
That one's nuts.
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
was another staple in my household. The Claymation of the Abominable Snowman? Oh, yeah. That one's nuts. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was another staple in my household.
And the claymation of the abominable snowman.
Oh, yeah.
That was terrifying.
Bumbers bounce.
Whoa.
That was so scary.
You know who's kind of cunty?
Yukon Cornelius, man.
Who's cunty?
I'm Mr. Heatmiser.
Cunty.
Cunty.
Wait, who's that again?
The Heatmiser.
In that?
It's in the Life and Adventures of Santa Claus.
Oh, is that?
It's not in Rudolph?
It's not in Rudolph. I've never seen Life and Adventures of Santa Claus.
Rudolph has, it has Rudolph,
it has the elf who wants to be a dentist. Yes!
It has Yukon Cornelius,
and then it has the Burl Ives snowman.
Did you just recently watch it?
No, I've watched that movie so many times.
That's got everything. It's got
Skinny Santa, where Mrs. Claus
is like, eat Santa!
Eat! Oh my god! Who wants a Skinny Santa, where Mrs. Claus is like, eat Santa, eat!
Who wants a Skinny Santa?
Oh my god!
That claymation really freaked me out.
I think that's why I didn't watch it a bunch.
But, no it freaked me out too as a kid.
But then we watched The Snow Queen.
You ever seen The Snow Queen?
It's really old school.
We had it on VHS.
It's from the 70s.
It's called The Snow Queen.
You've never heard the story of The Snow Queen? I know the story.
It's two kids who are stolen from their home,
and then The Snow Queen lives in this castle,
and she's flying through space.
It's an old fucking movie.
Frozen.
I had a bunch of older siblings that I watched whatever.
Yeah.
I feel like a lot of people
end up watching
some weird ass shit
on Christmas.
Is there a Christmas
Spongebob episode?
There's a Christmas
everything episode
I feel like.
But was there one
for Spongebob?
There's gotta be.
Yeah.
There's gotta be.
I would watch the
Johnny Bravo Christmas episode.
I would watch Cartoon Network
and whatever Christmas
episode was on.
That's what I love
about Christmas is that there's an episode for, oh.
Yeah.
Incredible.
What's your Christmas movie?
I mean, Home Alone.
Oh, yeah.
You said.
Home Alone is number one.
No, but the one that you were going to pitch.
It's the.
Oh, Polar Express and Snowpiercer.
Okay, yeah.
So it's Polar Express, but it's been running for so long and now it's the only thing where
people can live on on the earth.
I love that. Because everything else is frozen over. It's great. So you have to survive now it's the only thing where people can live on on the earth. I love that.
Because everything else is frozen over.
It's great.
So you have to survive on the Polar Express on hot chocolate.
One show where Santa Claus was a constant bad guy, and I can't remember what it was.
They would always fight Santa Claus.
That's awesome.
Write in the comments who you think that is.
I think it was a superhero team as well.
Bad Santa?
No.
What in your head
at this point
when you think of Santa,
what comes into your mind?
Yeah, what does Santa
look like to you guys?
Mine's the classic.
Mine's the Coca-Cola Santa.
He's mischievous to me.
You think Santa's mischievous?
How can he not be
sneaking into people's houses?
I mean,
putting things there
that weren't there before.
Kurt Russell.
You didn't ask me
if I wanted this.
You got too much coal as a kid, love.
And who was...
Your hair fell.
Your beanie fell.
I'm trying to think what I think.
I think just grandpa.
Always watching.
Sorry.
I think loyal grandpa.
So yours is...
So Chance, you think Santa is mischievous looking
Like big smile like up to here
Yeah like a horrific man
Not horrific
Just mischievous
I think
Loyal grandpa
I agree with Shane
I always think Coca-Cola commercial grandpa
Always
Just because that commercial makes me so happy.
The polar bears and Santa.
Just to think that they're all open up a glass bottle of Coca-Cola
and they're sliding down a mountain.
That commercial makes me happy.
It does.
That's pretty sick.
Yeah.
Did you guys ever, I have a Christmas tradition
that I feel like nobody else does. Did any of you guys ever, I have a Christmas tradition that I feel
like nobody else does.
Did any of you hide
the pickle?
Yes.
What?
I just said this to
fucking H yesterday.
I was like, we need a
pickle for the tree.
He's like, why would
we put a real pickle
in the tree?
I'm like, no.
What?
It was a tradition
we introduced.
So it's, you don't
need, it doesn't need
to be a real pickle.
It's an ornament.
You can buy an ornament.
You hide the pickle in the tree.
Like Pickle Rick.
And then.
Yeah, so you get this pickle ornament.
And ours was just like a glass little.
Is this why they sell so many pickle ornaments?
Yes.
And you hide it, my mom would hide it in the tree.
Yep.
And then my brother and I, or brothers, depending on which Christmas, would go out and whoever could find it first
gets to open up a present.
Gets to open up a present then, just then.
Right then.
And it's hard to find because it's green.
So you're looking throughout a tree
and our tree was just littered with ornaments.
You know who else found a green pickle on Christmas?
Who?
Cindy Lou Who.
Yeah!
Ew, you disgusting man!
That's part of his pitch. Christmas is ruined! Christmas is ruined! That's part of his pitch.
Christmas is ruined!
That's part of his pitch.
We gonna find the pic with the tagline of the movie.
You know what I hate though? There's gotta be a Grinch porno.
Ew!
I have a weird Christmas tradition.
You're right, and I'm mad about it.
My family and I, we do, when I go to Florida,
we do like a big
white elephant. And to Florida, we do a big white elephant.
For stealing, we think
you have to pay the price.
We do two options.
You either have to get iced
and take a smear off ice,
which is only for the cousins. The adults don't
do it, except Uncle Robin.
Who can really take it?
Hell yeah.
Frickin' Uncle Robin, hell yeah.
Frickin' Uncle Robin can take it.
And the adults don't do that.
Or if you want to steal a gift,
you have to do a karaoke song of the person
who's the gift you're stealing's choice.
Wait, that's amazing.
So we could pick like a humiliating-ass song.
I love that.
Baby Shark.
Exactly.
That's amazing. Yeah. Or one year we only did that. Baby Shark. Exactly. That's amazing.
Or one year we only did it.
Take me to your Christmas.
One year it was just 9 to 5.
Over and over and over.
No.
God no.
Take me to your Christmas one day.
We're going to crash your Christmas.
We're going to go to
LAX.
They'd be like, oh, these are all your co-workers from Smooch.
They always say Smooch, and they always say
Stew Kid.
And I go, it's Star Kid,
and it's Smosh.
They're just like the double O.
I don't know how.
Stew Kid is crazy.
It's always like the stars thing.
The star thing, and Smooch. It's always Smooch. like the stars thing. The star thing and smoosh.
It's always smoosh.
Yeah, families don't know how to say smoosh.
It's just like not, it doesn't register for them.
Yeah.
I have a weird family tradition that we, every year, we don't do it.
It's just for my mom.
She does it to herself.
Oh, this is incredible.
Always, every year.
Gets drunk.
Has a gift.
Yeah.
Yeah, every year she has a gift yeah every year
she has a gift
that's to her
from her
every single year
she opens it up
when I was little
she would go
oh my god
and it's the most
it's the biggest gift
and it's the biggest
beautiful wrapped
present
she went
oh my god
to me
from me
no
this is crazy part's psycho.
That's psycho.
And she opens it and it's always like,
it's a gorgeous scarf that I've always wanted.
It's like a fucking tradition.
No, you have to film it this year.
You have to film it.
It feels like an invasion of power.
To me, from me.
Just film it for me.
Always.
Every single year.
For my private collection. But you guys said,
Dildo, you know, last Christmas,
she gave me a traveling
vibrator. Last Christmas.
It was me.
It was me, my husband, and
my sister. We were all sitting there, and she was like,
I got you a gift. What makes a vibrator not
traveling? It's tinier. I don't
fucking know. And you opened that in front of
your whole family. Yeah. She was dying was dying that's crazy it made her laugh oh yeah she she gave it she was like i don't know
you guys are you guys are probably traveling h you'll probably love it and h was dying i'm dead
serious that's crazy that's fully nuts and it was opened the box was opened the box was ripped open no yes no so
yeah i wrote a sketch about it at ucb and we performed it because it literally the sketch
was i saw the sketch yeah it was so good yeah she gave me a traveling vibrator that was opened
so what did So what did you? Did you? How about?
And H was just like, this is great, Cindy.
Thank you so much.
And she's like, ah, I figured you guys would love it.
I don't know.
She was dying laughing.
It's a joke, but it's not.
You should use it.
Why the fuck is it open?
Thank you, mother.
Why the hell is it open? My mom does a thing where now that Santa's not real in our household,
she has to describe every gift from a certain Santa.
So if she's giving someone yoga pants, she goes, from yoga Santa.
Okay, that's awesome.
That's cute.
She'll go, if she got my dad some whiskey, she'll go, from alcoholic Santa.
Every single thing.
I like the idea of a bunch of different Santas.
Every gift is from a certain type of Santa.
Chance, do you have a weird tradition at your deal for Christmas?
We always open our jammies up Christmas Eve.
We get jammies?
Yeah, I get Christmas jammies every year, and we always open it up.
Are they the same?
No, they're different every year.
The same pair every year?
Do you imagine?
Now my mom kind of likes to do bits.
No, but are the jammies the same?
No, all the jammies are different. Okay. But now they're kind of likes to do bits. No, but are the jammies the same? No, all the jammies are different.
But now they're kind of like jokes.
She likes to get weird ones now.
So last year, mine were like, it was black Santa and black reindeer.
Don't ask how the reindeer were black.
Okay.
Voiced by Tom Cruise.
Tom Cruise voiced all the black reindeer
But that's pretty much it
Where do you get black Santa PJs?
I don't know where she gets them
I think TJ Maxx
Because she gets everything from TJ Maxx
TJ Maxx, crushing it
It is literally the best place on earth
The PJs are so freaking cute
I only
I got PJs last year from my mother-in-law and they were like
capris on me. And I was like, ah,
yay, snowflakes that go up to my
knees. I love it. I looked like I was from
the 20s. I was like, to my knees.
What do you guys do the week after
Christmas leading up to New Year's?
The dead week.
It's sort of like that's the
holiday week because people go like,
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
So it's like, all right, we got this stretch now
where we're kind of just chilling.
It's just usually pretty chill for my family.
I chill when I start watching movies.
That's when I really walk in.
Outdoor walks, I'm obsessed with.
I remember growing up,
we would all go on family outdoor walks.
But I moved to not the biggest nature in LA.
We don't have that.
But walks, movies, just things that I've wanted to do.
I do watch a lot of movies.
I feel like in a way you could argue any trilogy or series
is a Christmas movie thing because you end up,
I feel like you end up re-watching a series of movies
around Christmas time. Oh!
Harry Potter's!
Yes, I've seen Harry Potter's.
Lord of the Rings, I feel
like you could end up watching at that time.
I end up watching Star Wars a lot.
Yeah, same. Like the original trilogy
around Christmas time, I'm a big fan.
I haven't
seen all of The Sopranos in all of its entirety. You can watch all of The Sopranos. Maybe I stuff. I haven't seen all of The Sopranos
in all of its entirety.
You can watch
all of The Sopranos.
Maybe I'll try to do that.
I love The Sopranos.
I respect it.
You would absolutely love it.
Oh, yeah.
I've been sick of being like,
yeah, I've never finished it.
Evie Falco is like
the greatest human being
in that series ever.
Oh, yeah, I see it.
All right.
Well, guys,
we have a little fun
ending segment
that we're going to try.
It's called Foaming at the Mouth.
Yeah.
And you each get a minute to rant or have a hot take about something that you're really passionate about.
Yeah.
You can do it holiday-centric or if you just have something this year that you've been thinking about.
Let's just get it off our plates so we can have a good holiday.
I could start.
I could start.
You start.
I'm going to start.
Let me give you a timer. Ready? All right, holiday. I could start. I could start. I didn't think about mine, yeah. You start. I'm going to start. Let me give you a timer.
Ready?
All right, sure.
Set, go.
I think Christmas is starting
sooner and sooner every year.
It used to start, like,
I'd say, like, the week after Thanksgiving
was when I felt like it started.
And then it was like, okay,
right after Thanksgiving,
now it's begun.
I swear, this year, it was right after Halloween. That they're like, yeah, now it's begun. I swear this year it was right after Halloween
that they're like, yeah, now Christmas decorations are up.
And I'm like, this is way too soon.
You can't have like two months out of the year
dedicated to Christmas.
I love Christmas, but it's better
if you compact it a little bit more.
If we start doing the Christmas vibes after Halloween,
I'm exhausted by the time December 1st hits
I feel like it's
Already been Christmas for a while now
I'm like no stop
It's after Thanksgiving
That's all the time I need
Nice 48 seconds
Kids
I'm still thinking about mine
You don't have to
Oh I'm going to have one.
I'm going to have one.
Maybe you just filled with mild takes.
I'll foam with the mouth.
I got my Christmas tree, and I was like, what the fuck?
I don't understand these people that are charging over $100 for a tree.
It is in nature.
They cut it down, and they're selling it to me for over $100.
It is a tree that we find in nature and it's Christmas time.
I'm already spending a lot of money.
You don't get to respond to this.
I got a tree and literally
if you get a tree under 5
feet, it's like $70.
Just because you get a tree that's extra
tall, it's $185.
People hating on short things.
What is wrong?
Okay, I get that it's
more... I'm just pissed. No, it's true. I'm just like, motherfuckers. What is wrong? Like, okay, I get that it's more, I just, I'm pissed.
No, it's true.
I'm just like, motherfuckers, this is in nature.
It is your, you don't own this shit.
It's in nature.
I don't think they grow them, I don't think they take one from nature.
You should pay God.
Whatever.
You should pay God.
That's my foaming in the mouth, motherfuckers.
Okay, I have one.
Okay, go.
Go.
Start the clock.
Clock.
This is unrelated to anything
going on right now. Why are we always
talking about Santa and not Mrs. Claus?
Unrelated to anything.
Just a question. Why are we
always saying that he's doing the work?
We don't know what she's doing.
Okay? Unrelated
to anything. I think
that she's always pushed to the
side. Okay? I think we don's always pushed to the side.
Okay?
I think we don't know her story, her story.
Okay?
Let her have
a stand.
What's going on here?
Joe, I'm foaming at the mouth,
Shane and Amanda.
I'm foaming at the smosh mouth,
Shane and Amanda. Let me haveaming at the smosh mouth chain in Amanda.
Let me have a...
Give me the mic.
She is always just sitting there
while he gets to eat those cookies.
Come on. Also, my second
foaming at the mouth, my landlord the other day
told me to slow down when I'm pulling into the
parking lot because his stray cats,
I'm going to run them over.
And I was like, the nerve.
Can I go with the mouth about a third thing?
Airline food, my God.
That's enough.
There is no airline food anymore.
I love the idea of Mrs. Claus listening to this
and she's like, shit, no, no, no.
No, don't tell him.
She's like, her story.
I don't wanna work.
Her story.
Fuck no.
History.
Sitting back home with a pina colada,
just like, oh God.
Oh my God.
Calling me in again.
I employ publicists to work on my god. Calling me in again.
I employ publicists to work on my image. I don't want to.
Okay, Chance. The clock has started, bitch.
Okay.
I need people
to step up their Christmas
fashion.
Because you're wearing the same
damn sweater you've worn the past four years.
Get a new one, bitch like it's out of date
It's out of style. It looks a little crusty
You need a new one
Just the Christmas sweater too because I know you're wearing that same damn Christmas tie that you've been wearing the past seven years
Get a new fucking one because there are more days there are more events and you're wearing the same tie to the same event
Every year to and to multiple events you're gonna wear the same tie to the same event every year and to multiple
events.
You're going to wear the same Christmas outfit to multiple events on different days?
No.
Yes.
No, you're not.
Yeah, my Christmas outfit today.
Yes.
Well, it's just like diversify your portfolio a little bit.
Thank you.
Right?
The Christmas tie, 100%.
And there are so many Christmas colors that are like not just-
Red and green.
Red and green.
You can do red and white
You can do a gold you can do a khaki in a red show me something
I haven't seen before yeah, let's play around with color a little bit
That you wear the same clothes from when you're in high school
Jumping on this I love that that's a good foaming at the mouth
and also
Real quick. We don't need to wear glitter every holiday. You don't need to sparkle.
Although, sparkle's cute.
Can you believe that?
My landlord goes, can you slow down when you go into the parking lot?
Okay.
Because my stray cat, my stray cat, Crispy, I don't want you to run over her.
Then why is she a stray cat?
She's not your stray cat.
Then why is she called Crispy?
Then I went, I can't see a cat when I'm driving up.
I'm kidding.
I don't want to harm a cat, okay?
Amanda doesn't care about trees. Angela doesn't care about cats. I care about up. I'm kidding. I don't want to harm a cat. Okay? Amanda doesn't care about trees.
Angela doesn't care about cats.
I care about cats.
Happy holidays.
Happy holidays.
And Chance wants you
to level up your fashion
this holiday.
So, Merry Christmas.
I hope that you are
enjoying your time
and watching your favorite movies.
Put in the comments
what movies you watched
this Christmas.
Yeah.
What's the best Christmas movie?
Let us know. Let us know.
Let us know.
All right.
Love y'all.
Bye.
See you later.