Smosh Mouth - #46 - Solving Smosh's Problems

Episode Date: May 13, 2024

Amanda and Shayne are going to solve the cast and crew's problems, 100% guaranteed.  0:00-4:32 Intro 04:33-10:16 I just started to snore, how do I not inconvenience my partner? 10:17-16:35 How do I stop being dumb? 16:36-22:29 I’m afraid of confrontation! 22:30-28:40 Can you help me create a DnD baddie? 28:41-34:23 My voice sounds AI-generated 34:24-40:36 Peter is bullying me 40:37-47:06 Can you help me with my dating profile? 47:07-53:48 Help me with this baby! 53:49-59:27 My dad is dead 59:28-01:06:26 Stuck in a cycle of feeling the need to “succeed” 01:06:27-01:12:40 I’m addicted to Fortnite 01:12:41-01:19:30 How do you make friends as an adult? SUBSCRIBE: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshCast WEAR OUR JOKES: https://smosh.com  WHO YOU HEAR Shayne Topp // https://www.instagram.com/shaynetopp/ Amanda Lehan-Canto // https://www.instagram.com/filmingamanda/ Shayne Topp // https://www.instagram.com/shaynetopp/ Amanda Lehan-Canto // https://www.instagram.com/filmingamanda/ Marcus Munguia // https://www.instagram.com/marcus.munguia/ Erin Dougal // https://www.instagram.com/erindougal/ Lizzy Jones // https://www.instagram.com/soundproofliz/ Andre Gardere // https://www.instagram.com/onwithdre/ Nicole // https://www.instagram.com/nicole.normal/ Josh Fleury // https://www.instagram.com/josh.fleury/ Emily Rose Jacobson // https://www.instagram.com/frankly_emily_/ Angela Giarratana // https://www.instagram.com/angelagiovanagiarratana/ Matt Duran // https://www.instagram.com/durrrrran/ Rock Coleman // https://www.instagram.com/rockycole_pictureshow/ Trevor Evarts // https://www.instagram.com/trevorevarts/ Selina Garcia // https://www.instagram.com/maraselina/ WHO YOU DON’T HEAR (usually) Director: Selina Garcia Editor: Andre Gardere Producer: Amanda Lehan-Canto, Shayne Topp, Selina Garcia Assistant Director: Marcus Munguia Art Director: Cassie Vance Assistant Art Director: Erin Kuschner Art Coordinator: Alex Aguilar, Josie Bellerby, Natalie Lewis Prop Assistant: Adam Mustafa Audio Mixer: Scott Neff Director: Selina Garcia Producer: Amanda Lehan-Canto, Shayne Topp, Selina Garcia Director of Photography: Brennan Iketani Director of Design: Brittany Hobbs DIT/AE: Matt Duran CEO: Alessandra Catanese EVP of Production: Zoe Moacanin EVP of Programming: Kiana Parker Executive Coordinator: Rachel Collis IT: Tim Baker Operations PA: Katie Fink Post Production Manager: Luke Baker Director of Production: Amanda Barnes Production Coordinator: Marcus Munguia Operations & Production Coordinator: Oliver Wehlander Production Assistant: Ovsana Tsaturian Senior Manager, Channel & Strategy: Lizzy Jones Channel Operations Coordinator: Audrey Carganilla Social Creative Producer: Peter Ditzler, Tommy Bowe Social Strategist: Erica Noboa, Mallory Myers Social Media Coordinator: Kim Wilborn Talent Coordinator: Selina Garcia OTHER SMOSHES: Smosh: https://smo.sh/Sub2Smosh Smosh Pit: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshPit Smosh Games: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshGames El Smosh (Spanish Dub): https://smo.sh/Sub2ElSmosh FOLLOW US: TikTok: https://smo.sh/TikTok Snapchat: http://smo.sh/OnSnapchat Instagram: https://instagram.com/smosh Facebook: https://facebook.com/smosh Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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If you have questions or concerns about gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. Ben MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Welcome to Smosh Mouth. I'm Shane. And I'm Amanda. And we have a very important episode today. We have a lot of guests.

We put out a call to all of our co-workers here at Smosh asking them if they have problems to come to us and we'll solve it in roughly five minutes. Roughly. And we got a lot of responses. A lot of people have a lot of problems here. So we're going to solve

all the problems here at Smosh. Yeah, we're going to solve it and they're going to be just fine after they leave. Everyone's going to be so happy after this episode of Smosh. Because we are problem solvers. Yeah, we're the two most equipped people at Smosh. And we have no problems whatsoever.

Exactly. No, we're smart. We're intelligent. We're wise. Hot. We can solve your problems. We're freaking hot, dude. We're hot people who solve your problems. Get in here. Yeah, come on. We've seen the list. There's a lot of people. We're going to try to get to all of them.

Yeah, I'm really excited. We can't leave someone behind. No. That'd be god awful. Do not leave soldiers behind. No. Just like you leave me behind in FNAF. You disassociate so hard.

Dude, I don't know if Sister Location is out yet as of this episode airing, but we've done it all. We've done all of FNAF. How crazy. How do you feel? I feel really, really good. I think that I need to know the lore. Look, I need our audience to help us. We need to get MatPat on this show.

We need to get MatPat. We need to get him on here to... How can we get MatPat? I mean, he's off the grid now. Okay. He retired. He literally, after we did that episode, I'm not kidding, it was like within weeks that he retired. He announced his retirement from

being a game theorist. I'll send him a letter. Okay. That'll get him. Yeah. In cursive. Yeah, he only can read in cursive. If you type it out, he does not understand it. He does not understand it. Yeah.

I'm super excited today because we have so many people coming on. We only have five minutes. I can't wait to hear what they say, and I hope that we can solve their problems. I'm pretty sure we can. Yeah, and we're definitely going to be serious about solving these problems. It's not a joke. I'm a sure we can. Yeah. And we're going to, we're definitely going to be serious about solving these problems. It's not a joke. I'm a very serious person.

Yeah. So am I. I never joke. No, no. Never joke. You do fart a lot, but you never joke. What the hell are you talking about? I've literally heard you fart so many times.

You have that, guys. Once the camera goes off. This is actually a lie. No, no, no. This is actually not true at all. Hear me out. Once the camera goes off, you rip one. I do not.

And it is horrendous. What are you talking about? A lot of people don't stay in this room. And you know why? Because you rip one. The only person who leaves this room is Brennan. All right? Yeah, because he doesn't want to get hurt or sick.

Okay. Actually, real talk. I don't know if I've ever heard anyone fart here at this workplace. What? I don't think I've ever heard anyone fart here at this workplace. What? I don't think I've ever heard anyone fart. I really hope that someone has a problem that they consistently fart and no one has heard it and they feel like... I know people

fart, but I think people at Smosh are very silent. I've never heard... Because if I did, I'd laugh. What would you do? You'd call them out? No, I would laugh. You'd just fart do you'd call them out no I would laugh you'd just fart it'd be hard for me

not to laugh if we're all sitting there working on our computers and then you're like I'd lose it and I think everyone else would too I think so too

but they have those big headphones on all the time that's true you probably could get away with it you could I would make sure I'd go over to

the editing bay where they all have those huge headphones on. They're working. They won't know? They don't know. Well, they'll know after. They'll know.

Oh, they'll know. They'll eventually know. Yeah. God, it's not a Smosh Mouth episode unless we talk about farts, which is a great thing. I watched this Instagram. Oh. Shut up. Should I give it a shot? I watched this Instagram of two old people who filmed themselves going on dinner, dinner walk, dinner fart walks. Here's the thing.

My Discover page is really cool. Okay. So there are these two older people who filmed themselves going on after dinner fart walks. And they just describe how it's so healthy, how it's so great. They're like, we're going on an after dinner fart walk. Are they describe how it's so healthy how it's so great they're like we're going on an after dinner fart walk are they british i think so or maybe i just made them british because it sounds better nuncy and i like to go on our fart walks after i'll send it to you going for a fart walk after dinner is something that's going to help you age wonderfully that's

that actually is pretty incredible so should we have our first? Let's get him in here. Okay. Marcus. Marcus. Get your butt in here. Marcus, let's hear your problem. Should we clap?

Yeah, let's clap. Should we clap? Should we clap? I feel like we should clap. We've never had this group of people coming on. This is different. Okay, Marcus, welcome. Hi.

Hi, Amanda. Hi, Marcus. Good to see you both. Good to see you too. What is your problem today? Okay, so my problem for you both to help me solve is that recently I have started snoring. Snoring? I have started snoring, yes.

Okay. And I am not a snorer. I've been with my girlfriend for 10 years. And just recently, like maybe a month or two ago, I started snoring and it wasn't like a cute little snore. It's like honk, shoo, like big, keeping her up at night snore. Oh, no. And I feel so terrible.

I'm like ashamed, I'm embarrassed, because I'm like, I don't want you to lose sleep over me snoring, like this is new. I want to figure this out. So I'm like I don't want you to lose sleep over me snoring like this is new I want to figure this out so is she really really upset with you no she she is lovely she's a sweetheart she's the kindest person but she she wanted to let me know

because it also could be like a health thing too right sometimes I guess you guys are so sweet if my husband starts snoring I'm like you need to go get out I'm like, you need to go. Get out! I'm like, do I sleep on the couch? OK, did you change how you're sleeping in any sort of way?

I'm trying to. I have some audio to play for you all. Do you have your snores? I have my snores. Oh, let's hear it. I knew this was going to be happening. And I was like, OK, I told her, I was like, can you please, at some point this week, try to catch me snoring

so we can hear it back live, and I fell asleep on the couch the other night, and she ran over and got her phone and started recording me, so there's like 15 seconds of me snoring, if y'all would like to hear me snoring. Of course we would, we have to understand what we're working with. And I'm so embarrassed by this,

but this is me snoring caught in the moment here. Give me a break. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. I don't know what that was. Shut up. I don't know what that was. I don't know what that was.

There's more snoring. There's more snoring. Hold on. I'm sorry. Wow. I didn't realize. I guess I should have listened back to this before. Okay.

Sorry. Sorry, y'all. Okay. Oh, my God. Well, that's all. That was the whole thing. I don't know what that was. I don't know what that was.

Okay, but for real, I've been snoring. Okay, so the farts were added in post. That was in post. I did it in post. But are those snores real? The snoring was real. It was fake. Sorry, it was fake. But my problem is real. Okay. But the snore, are those snores real? The snoring was real. It was fake.

Sorry, it was fake. But my problem is real. Okay, but your snore, that is a recreation. I love that you just immediately admitted it. Okay, yes, that was fake. I gotta complete. None of that's real. There's no secret from me. I was gonna say, because that snore is deadly.

Like, that is gonna end her relationship snore. But that's what it is. That is the level of your snoring. That is the level of snoring, yes. Aren't there things like tape or something that you can put on your nose or something? Like have you tried any of that stuff? Not yet, but I've been looking into that

and I know that's a thing. Okay, so first of all, let me just ask. Is this a make it or break it for you and your partner? No, absolutely not. But maybe the problem is she needs to get over it. Shane, you can go. Whoa. Shane?

You can go. Shane told me. No, no, no. Listen, this is why Shane has me. Don't listen to that. Look, we're running on not much time here. You can also duct tape your mouth. No, hear me out.

Okay, do they still sell Breathe Right strips? I think so. I think maybe you're sick or maybe your sinus is congested. How long has this been going on for? Like a month. It just started. It's super new. But I'm so, yeah.

Snoring, I just am terrified. I don't want to keep anybody up at night. Do you sleep on your back? I do. Okay. Yeah. I'm going to help you out right now. We're going to get you a pregnancy pillow.

We're going to get you a long pillow that looks like a snake so you can wrap your whole body around it so you are forced to sleep on your side. Okay. Because when you sleep on your back, it triggers snores. Oh, okay. Yeah. So, yeah, it triggers snores. Exactly. And that's what you look like when you sleep on your back, it triggers snores. Oh, okay. Yeah. So yeah, it triggers snores. Exactly. And that's what you look like when you sleep.

So if you have a big old pregnancy that you can snuggle, it might relieve some of your snoring. That sounds lovely. Also possibly taking mucinex for a week. Maybe you have some like clogged up stuff. I think, yeah, it's feeling like maybe it's up here and maybe not like a whole thing. We need to get the help of Osmosis Joe. Or you can just take Shane's advice.

Yeah, take my horrible advice. Just tell your partner to fucking deal with it. Oh my gosh. Don't do that. Okay, great, hey. Okay. I've, thank you both. You're so welcome.

I want to hear back after you implement this. Happy to follow up. And also, yeah, you're farting in your sleep. Good luck with that. That's good. Go for walks after dinner. I'll send you the video. Probably not too far from the truth of what that recording was.

Thank you, Marcus. Thank you, Marcus. Thank you. I appreciate it. Good luck. Best of luck to you. Thank you. All right. Our next, Marcus. Thank you. I appreciate it. Good luck. Best of luck to you. Thank you. All right.

Our next client is walking in now. Oh, my God. Oh, dear. She's shivering from the cold. Okay. She's wrapped in a yellow blanket. We have Erin Dougal here. Erin Dougal.

Hi, Erin. Hi. She is opening up some pineapple juice. 100% pineapple juice. This is to make my coochie taste more juicy. Oh my god. You can cut that. You can cut that.

That's not a problem. We're not going to cut that. That's insane. If you say something insane here, we're going to keep it in. That's not a problem. That's just Aaron. Thank you. So what's going on?

I have BV. No, I'm kidding. Dare I ask, what the fuck is BV? You don't know what BV is? No. Breast. BV is bacterial vaginosis. This is not why I'm here.

We gotta get Osmosis Jones again. Take some Mucinex, babe. Shove some Mucinex up there and you'll be set in a week. That is not why I'm here today. I am here today because I don't know if you guys have noticed or ever talked to me. But a lot of dumb things keep happening to me, specifically this month. So I just want to know how I can stop being so dumb, how I can stop the dumb things from happening to me. Give us a rundown of a few things that were dumb that happened to you.

So I did make a list of everything bad that happened to me this month. Whoa. Okay. I think I'm aware of some of them. Yes. Okay. So the first thing was my TikTok got hacked and was being held for ransom. So that was.

What was the ransom at? I didn't ask. Ian told me not to ask. Yeah. No. So I didn't. Probably smart. Do not to ask yeah so i didn't probably smart do not negotiate with no i did i did not they did have guns in their profile pics so i was like you can have it you can just have my tiktok um so that was the first thing um then i accidentally dyed my roots blue if you remember that i do remember that um and then my car was confiscated by the police because i had expired registration and an out-of-state license.

And it was also expired. So they took it. Okay. Yeah, I do know that. Yeah. And you don't negotiate with terrorists. Right. Exactly.

Exactly. Exactly. Do you have your car back? I did. Ian and Anthony took me to get it back. Whoa. And the cops were like, whoa, smosh. Yeah, they're like, it's smosh.

You can just have it. You're back together. Whoa. And they just gave it to smosh. You can just have it. You're back together. Whoa! And they just gave it to me back. So shout out to them. Sergeant Anus. I get that. OK.

OK. Also, I had my period for three months straight because I had a cyst on my ovaries. So that was really fun. I was super hormonal and just felt ugly for like three months. It's gone now. It's gone. That's horrendous. It's gone. That's horrendous.

Yeah. Just just girly things. This on ovaries are very, very common and they are. Women do not talk about it enough. And that is why I'm here. OK, I'll kick Shane out for the next episode and we'll talk about it for three months. It's three months. Horrendous.

Oh, and then my therapist broke up with me. Then I went on a date with a guy who, after the first date, he texted me, and he just wanted to brand collab. He just wanted me to post his, he has this hat that says Slay, and it's in the LA Dodgers font, and he wanted me to post it because I work,

he wanted me to promote it. And then my last thing was I just shower once a week now. Why? Those are my problems. I think with the cysts part, we should be showering a little bit more. I don't know how showers are going to affect. The cyst is gone. Just kidding.

I don't know how that will affect it. Okay, Erin. But you're presenting problems. Do you think the showering once a week is a problem? Well, for others, yeah, probably. Okay. I showered today, though, because I knew I'd be sitting with you guys. You look beautiful.

Oh, thanks. Okay, that is a lot going on in one month. Yes. So a couple of those are already solved because Daddy, Ian, and Anthony got your car back. You got the car back. You got the TikTok back. I got the TikTok back. You're feeling better. You got rid of your cyst, which is, that's.

That's massive. I think we need to unpack that later. So what is the remaining problems? Because it sounds like you've solved a lot of problems. The therapist broke up with you. The therapist broke up with you. That sucks. Yeah, I did fix my hair, too.

I guess I resolved my problems. I'm just, how do I prevent them? How do you prevent? How do I prevent bad things from happening to me? I guess I would say you can't prevent all problems. I mean. Those are big ones, though. Those are big.

Maybe telling more people about what's going on so you have more support, so you don't feel, like, overwhelmed and you're alone. Like, when your car was gone, do you know what I mean? Like, maybe more support. Right. I did just stand on the side of I mean? Like maybe more support. Right. I did just stand on the side of PCH alone for a few hours. Yeah. I think telling more people, like I would have loved to talk about everything that's going on with you and like your sis, that is so scary. Thank you.

She doesn't like to get deep. Look at, she doesn't like to get deep. The only problem that I foresaw possibly happening is something to do with a guy that you're dating. And I would say just whenever you match with a guy, just before you even say anything, ask

anyone. Okay. Like, ask Mallory. Yes. Or... Is this a good... Don't ask me. Oh, show me, show me. I am not gonna be able to help. I don't know. He took a picture in a stairway and I can't even see his face. See, I think Aaron, this will help.

I think, yeah, let's make sure we're on the same page about slowly walking people. So that's not a complete sentence. I think maybe he's from Berlin. He's from Berlin. Okay. Yeah. I think maybe He's from Berlin Okay Yeah I think Grow your community and have us Check in and see if it's like Maybe that's not the right dye for your hair

And that's not the right guy and we will help You because things work better With a tribe I think and also all I can say is be proud of yourself You've overcome a lot Thank you Oh my gosh thank you This was helpful All I can say is be proud of yourself. You've overcome a lot. You've overcome a lot. And you look gorgeous. Oh my gosh, thank you.

Thank you. This was helpful. And perhaps you pissed off some sort of ancient god. That's fair. All right. Well, cheers. Cheers, babe. Good luck with the pineapple.

Thank you. Wow. Woo! Erin lives a sitcom life. Right off the gate. Okay, next client. Lizzie! Client?

Yeah, we're helping out with that. Yeah, you're right. But we're for free. It's all pro bono. Right, right, right. Hi, Lizzie. Hi. You look beautiful today.

Oh, thank you. So what's going on today? So it's kind of a constant problem I have. I'm afraid of confrontation. Okay. And I know I watch every video, have. I'm afraid of confrontation. Okay. And I know I watch every video, obviously. That is part of my job. But I feel like Shane and I relate here because you don't like to talk to strangers.

You don't like confrontation. I'm exactly the same way. So I feel like I need to learn from you. I enjoy confrontation. Someone told me on an airplane once that I should go first to push past through the people because she was like, you seem confrontational. And I was like, I would never do that.

You seem like a huge bastard. It's the confidence, I think. Yeah, so it is. So wait, so do you want

to get better at confrontation because it's necessary in order to set boundaries? Yeah, and just to say how I feel. Sometimes I don't really talk about how I'm feeling in issues or situations because I'm just like, oh, I'll just sit here and stew in my issues and not say anything was way worse feeling than actually saying.

The biggest thing that I learned about confrontation is confrontation is such like an aggressive word. I would see it more as shine the light on yourself and be like, I need, I am hoping for, I felt hurt in this scenario rather than being like, you hurt me. You didn't do this. You don't respect me. Always shine the light on yourself. And in a way, weirdly, people will, you can't control how people will respond, but people will react in a way if you're shining the light on yourself. And if it's a relationship that's going to work out, because you might confront or talk to people and then you're like, I don't think this relationship is going to go anywhere. I need to add in a third person to kind of be the middleman. But I always find that it gets easier the more you do it.

So shine the light on yourself. Like it hurts me when you do this. I really need a little bit of time or I need this quiet time or I need alone time here. Would you bring it up right in the moment or what if – because sometimes when something happens, I'm just like, oh. No. Are you talking about just specifically with strangers or even with – No, even with people I'm close to, very close to. Yeah. I wouldn't bring it up right in the moment.

I'm too much of a Libra. You know, it's like I want everything to be balanced and like everyone just like yeah my husband's a libra he's a triple libra i understand i so sometimes i like will go to bat for him but that's not always good either because he needs to express himself i would say not in the moment i would say wait until things have calmed down for a second because in the moment that person might not be able to hear what you're saying. What do you think, Shane? I think also when we think of confrontation, we think of like the people we know who are good at confrontation or just who are like, like, I don't know. It's like the East Coast vibe.

It's just like what you think confrontation has to be that way. You're allowed to confront people in your own way. Right. Like and it's going to look different than anyone else. And I think calling it confrontation makes it scary, but it could just be like, oh, I'm just going to communicate with them. Yeah. You've got to let them know something.

Communicating hard things. Yeah. Yes, which unfortunately we have to do because it hurts us more when we don't. Yeah. And you are not a bad person for communicating hard things. Everybody has hard things. Not everyone communicates it. But it makes it worse for that person.

They're just hurting themselves more. And I promise you, it does get easier when you do it. But sometimes it's harder harder scenarios than others but i also also what i do too if it's a really hard thing that i have to kind of communicate i reach out to like the three to four people that i trust that know me and i run it through them first i'm like what do you think about this yeah i try to get their advice but i'm always shining a light on myself. I, this hurts me. I need this. I think it's also because I'm this way where I'll be sitting there.

I'm like, okay, I need to talk to this person about this thing. And I'm just sitting there thinking it over and over. Like you're running the scenario in your head over and over again. Then you reach a certain point where you're like, well, I have the scenario is played out a million times. It keeps being the same. What else could happen? So I have to go and just do it. And so I kinda reached this point where I'm there,

I'm kinda like, I'll be standing near them, I'm kinda like just looking around. And then I, almost in my head, I just am like, go. Like, and I just kind of, it's like when you jump in, it is jumping in a cold pool. You just go, and then like, I often start with a like, hey, so, and honestly i do it so that i'm talking yeah and there now i can't they'll just come out pull back yeah i do that so

that i i force myself that's the hardest part is it starting it just to start it yeah and and know that you might be bad at it for a while and that's okay yeah you're human beings but the person if they're clued in there they know what it's about. And to muscle memory, just start flipping people off all the time. And then that way you're confronting on a constant basis. That I can do. Yeah, just start doing that. Oh, yeah.

I do it to the back of people's heads all the time. Shane, every time he walks by me, I'm like. And I know. She does it when there's mirrors in front of me. Anyways, thank you. I hope. Thank you. That helps a lot. front of me. Anyways, thank you. I hope. Thank you. That helps a lot.

Let us know how the confrontations go. Yeah. Or the communicating. Yes. Yes. Communication. Thank you, guys. You're welcome.

Wow. This is fun. This is really cool. I feel like I need a blazer or like a jacket. All right. Next up. Whee! Andre is here.

Andre! Hello, guys. Hello, Andre, how are you? You have the moon card on your shirt. I do. And I love it. Thank you, what does that mean? It's the wolf and the dog. Which one are you going to respond to?

It's like the call of the wild or like the domesticated home one. Like your comfort zone and your uncomfortable zone. Your conscious, your unconscious. Yeah, I just like the graphic, I didn uncomfortable zone. You're conscious, you're unconscious. Yeah, I just like the graphic. I didn't know. I just thought it looked sick. All right.

It was pretty cool. So what's going on? Well, I have a little creative writing for you guys. I am the DM for the Smosh Office D&D game. So there's currently like 10 of us. And I have like, let me set the stage for you guys, right? Please. So it takes place in Sigil, the City of Doors.

It is a plane of existence that is in the center of all the other planes of existence. So very often, like, people get teleported there by accident or people get banished there. So it's kind of like this junk zone for all planes of existence. Got it. And all the characters are teleported there at the same time and

they're tied to something called the Bestial Vortex. It's a portal that opens up and releases monsters. So they have to fight the monsters. The problem is I don't have a big bad, you know, it's like a combat oriented game so they're just fighting monsters. So at the moment I'm toying with the owner of the arena that they're just fighting monsters okay so at the moment i'm toying with the like

the owner of the arena that they're fighting in the coliseum is going to be the big bad guy so like one top villain yes the big bad that you would play yes okay for some reason i'm already thinking like mad max vibes like what does this villain want over, like does he want control over this place? Yes, that's what I was thinking too. I was thinking something like maybe he wants control of Sigil, who is run by like a demigod, but we won't get into that. But the reason I was thinking is like he's opening these portals that are bringing monsters into the arena,

and he's making these people fight it, but like. Why is he doing that? And the portals are the doors. The portals are the doors. Got it. You could also have it be like a rogue door, like the door itself is a villain. Like one of the doors is not like all the other doors.

Yes. Ooh, I kind of like that. Also, what if he just has like that sick kind of entertainment side, like he loves to see them fight, but what if there's conflict where he has someone go through the portal and it's someone that he knows and it's from his past and he cares about that person. But he's already set it up so they had to fight. So he's like, the villain is now faced with conflict. So now that person is someone he cares about is now in this world of fighting.

So it makes him another version of a villain too. Yes, that could be like an NPC that I drop in. It could be like maybe like his estranged daughter or son or something. And like, oops, I brought all these monsters in and now my son is out there and like all the characters. That he doesn't have a relationship really with. Exactly.

And he's trying to have a relationship with. But maybe there's a stepmother who's also the villain, too. Hold on, let her cook. Let her cook. The stepmother's like, I don't want to see that child in that arena ever again. And he now has conflict with her. And now who's the bigger villain? Him?

Or has it always been her? Hmm. Anyways. I'm tempted to not make the big bad a woman that comes in at the last second instead of the guy. I guess that's just my weird. Oh, it's actually not the guy. It's a woman's fault. It's not the capitalist guy.

That's just me wanting to play the woman. You're welcome to come in and play the stepmother. No, but I feel like that's, does that help? Yeah, I mean, absolutely. like that's does that help yeah i mean absolutely i i think that bringing like family members in and they could like even give hints like yeah oh sure all the characters all the employees here at smosh are going to be killing the monsters but they obviously won't kill this like child or mother or something that comes in through the portal right and then they can drop like hints at backstories like hey this guy isn't who you think he is. He's actually bringing the monsters here

for a nefarious purpose. The owner of the Coliseum. Oh, so the people think that the owner is like, some of them think he's good. Yeah, yeah. So he introduced himself in the first session and he was like, hey guys, really sucks that you're here,

but you guys are kind of tied to this portal. So he's giving this face that he's a good guy. But he's bringing them in. He's bringing them in, and he's bringing the monsters too. You also have all these portals, all these different realms. Is there a realm of the bizarro evil versions of all the players? Ooh, I love that. Because also, this is season one, right?

You don't want to go too big. That's a great initial start. Because this is still their character arcs are fresh. You want to build them out, see what's the opposite of them, have them overcome themselves. You tease a version of them coming in, and you're like, hello. And that's the end of season one. Yeah.

And those versions think they're the heroes. Yes! You guys are the villains think they're the heroes. Yes. You guys are the villains. You're the villains. Yeah, exactly. It's a Spider-Man thing. I love that. And the villain just wants to control the place.

Yes. And wants to like have sick entertainment for himself. Hell yeah. I think that'll work. This sounds like so much fun. Yeah. It's a blast. Shane, you made your character.

I've made my character. We just, we have D&D and I'm always like filming on the days of and I'm like, I'm tired. 100%. But I want to go so bad. I'm so excited for it. Well, the next time you're available, you'll just jump in the game. You'll come through a portal. It'll be great.

Yeah. I made a little satyr who writes poems. Oh, that's very sweet. Yes. A bard. Yes. Yeah. Look at that. Yeah, I made a little satyr who writes poems. Oh, that's very sweet. Yes. A bard. Yes. Yeah. Look at that. Wow. I play D&D. Holy shit. Look at her go. I hope that helps. Yes, absolutely. Thank you guys. Thank you.

That sounds amazing. Thank you. Wow, this is so fun. There's so many different things. I know. My brain is working. Yeah, we solved everyone's problems except Aaron's. We're working on it. We're working on all that. We're going to except Aaron's. We're working on it. We're going to offline with Aaron. We're working on it. Alright, we have our next client.

Nicole! Nicole from Press Like. Hi, Nicole. I'm wearing my little teddy bear in honor of the NAF. Oh, thank you. How's it going? Pretty good.

I have an issue that I've been having, or I haven't been having. It's been a new thing. People have been saying that my voice sounds AI-generated. People have been saying your voice sounds AI-generated. Yeah. Do you think my voice sounds AI-generated? First of all, I don't see that totally

as a negative thing that sounds kind of hot to me just a little bit okay because i feel like it sounds like futuristic where it's like hello come come join us in this little place like there's kind of a sexy characteristic to it okay but also it's your voice. Right. Yeah. I would say, I feel like you're a very, you're very conscious of how you speak. That's very true. I feel like you're very careful. You're choosing your words.

You're thinking as you're speaking. And so maybe some people take that as that way. I don't know. Yeah. How do you feel about that uh i don't like it but or i guess that's a good thing that i'm like i just don't know about ai i feel like i've had like lots of people say things about me but ai generated voice is a very new concept also um i'm from texas and all of my family has like thick Southern accents,

but everyone says like, I sound so Californian. I don't. Yeah. Cause you don't have a Southern accent. Yeah. What do they sound like? They're like really Southern. And you never had that accent? I think I did. Or I don't know. I think in trying to make my voice sound more feminine, like, I kind of got rid of my accent, I guess.

That makes sense. A lot of people, but I know a lot of people, because even, you know, Damien's from Georgia, and he lost his accent, I think, over time here. He talks about sometimes when he sees his family, he, like, gets it back a little bit. I also think that's a normal thing. I lost my accent, for sure. I didn't really's a normal thing. I lost my accent for sure.

I didn't really have a super strong accent, but when I go home it's very up here, like, Martha's Vineyard. You step off the airplane and you're like, all right, you fuckers. Yeah, I'm like, fucking fight me. And tell me, that's not a very pretty accent. So.

I think it's cute. I think it's sexy. Thank you. So how many people have said this to you? Is this maybe just one jerk? No, it's cute. I think it's sexy. Thank you. So how many people have said this to you? Is this maybe just one jerk? No, it's been a multiple. Really? People have commented it, like multiple.

Okay, I have a thought. Yeah. So this is comments on the Anthony Padilla channel. Yes, on the. Oh, okay. All right, I think what that might be is that you aren't seen as often, right? Yes. So without seeing your face i think that's also i think this is more indicative of how ai voices in on the internet

are affecting our interpretation of things they're trying to sound like people like yeah normal regular people everyday people that's a good. I think this is more like our perception of stuff is getting messed up. You know, an example I can think of is, you know, when Courtney and I did our, posted our photos, people genuinely. You got married? Yeah. People, people, there were a lot of people who were convinced that they were AI images. They were like, this looks AI. You can see this is AI.

I'm like, we're getting messed up now. I think people are freaking out about AI and they're using any opportunity to be like that's ai that's it feels like a paranoid comment to me yeah rather than like a straight up dig but also if you don't like it you have every right to be like i am i do not sound like an ai voice here's my face i don't mind i guess it's definitely better than being called slurs, I guess, in comments. So, I've gotten that. I get that. I can see that.

So I think it's like, if you think about it. That's better. Yeah, I can see that. And also, having been on Assumptions, you are also just very careful to make the questions heard and understandable for us. And I think in that process, like, I guess that's how people's interpretation.

I think it's you being good at your job. I do too. Thank you. And also, I think your voice cuts through a lot of other voices. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Like your voice has like this strength

and kind of like leader, leadership voice. Oh my God. And also the comments are just people that don't know who you are. Yeah, that's true. And I do have, I actually do have a vocal coaching appointment in May that I'm going to go to.

Really? Maybe that will solve my problem. What are you going to focus on? Just being like more normal. Just sounding more normal. I guess we all need one of those. I will say though in working with you for a year now, I have never thought that and I would not think ever that you need coaching. Exactly.

And also like doing voiceover, all they want are unique voices. They don't want normal voices. They want unique voice. You have a unique, beautiful voice. Oh my God. Okay, you're solving my problem by making me feel better about myself. Nice.

Yay. Okay. Good. Good luck on your vocal session. I will. You sound amazing. Oh my God, thank you. Oh my God.

Come on, people. Yeah. A sound amazing. Oh my God, thank you. Oh my God. Come on, people. Yeah. AIs are. I think people are really, they're getting messed up. Yeah. We can't tell what's real or not anymore. No, we can't. Okay, we have our next person.

All right. Josh. Josh is here. Josh Fleury. Josh dressed up for this occasion. He always looks good. Yeah, but he's wearing a tie. It's so cool.

Yeah, it's his vibe. Yeah. Thanks for having me. I've always wanted to be on the podcast. I just wish it was kind of under happier circumstances. Oh no. Oh boy. Oh god. This is a heavy. Yeah, sorry. Strap in. Okay. Sorry

if I'm going to bring down a room. I've been working at Smosh for about two years now, like this month. Yeah. At least when I started freelancing. It's been great. I love all the stuff we do, the people we work with. But there's been one person on our team who's, it's hard to admit this, but they've been essentially bullying me.

Okay. And treating me negatively. It's tough to bring this up because I know this person has been working here longer than I have. They have a lot of authority. A lot of people here are really close with them. I know you're actually really close with this person. But it's gotten to a point where it's really affecting me like physically, mentally, it's affecting my personal life, my work.

Uh, so I just want to get it out there. Um, so I've been getting bullied by Peter Ditzler and, uh, swear to God, Peter. Yeah. Uh, you actually haven't said that in a while. So I think that's why he's been getting a little out of control. Oh. But pretty much, you know, from day one, like, when I first came into interview, he was at the front door of the building. And then he was like, what are you doing here?

Sorry. That sounds like something Peter would say. Yeah. And I was like, oh, you know, I have an interview with Lisa. And he was like, oh, I'll be sure to let her know you're here. And then he closed the door and then wouldn't let me in for an hour. Yeah. But then, you know, eventually I got the job after working like a few freelance projects, as Peter said, you know, for chump change.

And eventually we found out, you know, Peter and I actually, some people know as Peter and I actually graduated from the same college. We both went to Temple University. And when, when he found that out, he called the school and told them that I had forged a lot of my documents. And they tried to rescind my diploma.

What? Cause they trusted Peter immediately. They did. I'm getting fired up. It's a lot of crazy things. I have a little short list of some things. You have like seven cue cards. The writing looks tight. That's really, really tight.

Yeah, some of these are a little hard to revisit. Peter once stole my parking pass decal and my car got towed. He told me to take off my mask when we all went to that pirate show because I looked like a soft bitch. That's actually, once I took my mask off, that's when I got COVID so bad I went to the hospital for a week.

Okay. So, uh, this one, this one, our little Peter. Yeah. This one's kind of tough for me to read.

Can you read this one? Actually. Sure. On my birthday, the other month people met up after work to celebrate. Peter showed up, his eyes glowing red. Clearly he'd already been drinking

for several hours already. I introduced him to my fiance, and he looked at her and said, why don't you dump this chump for a scrumptious hump? Then he shoved me to the ground and beat me in front of her for eight minutes. Yeah. So he's not only attacking you, he's attacking your fiance. in front of her for eight minutes.

So he's not only attacking you, he's attacking your fiance. Yeah, and she doesn't really look at me the same anymore after that. Yeah, yeah. Sure, sure. When I asked, when are we gonna start playing the wedding, she was like, well, you know, after talking to Peter. After talking to that scrumptious hump.

Yeah. Yeah. It is pretty wild. I've tried to get evidence, but for some reason yeah it's um it is pretty wild i i've tried to get evidence but for some reason it's always when people aren't looking is when he comes like this was at lunch the other day uh this is him on his way you know to to do what he usually does to me Yep, he's really... Yep, he's just walking up, so intimidating.

He's really out of line. Yeah. No, I mean, he's the only person at Smosh who consistently is smoking cigarettes inside the building. He smokes so many cigarettes. You gotta stop him.

I'm like, can I use the bathroom? And he's in there freaking smoking his cigarette. He does it all in one puff. Yeah. No, the fire... He's setting the fire alarms off on purpose. Right. He does it all in one puff. Yeah. He's setting the fire alarms off on purpose.

If the cigarette smoke doesn't, he just grabs it and pulls the handle. I don't want him to get fired or anything or lose his job. One, I'd like him to stop. And two, I'd like him to understand that he's a bad person. Right. We'll get rid of the problem.

We're going to go to the local Harley Davidson and enlist the help of a biker gang. You know their location? Harley Davidson. We're going to take care of it. We'll get rid of the problem for you. If you know what I'm saying.

I appreciate that. We're so sorry. Don't worry. I appreciate that, guys. You know what I'm saying? Hey, we're so sorry. Thank you. Sorry, Josh. Scrumptious hump. That's awful. His ego got way too big. Yeah.

I mean, I'm going to say that from now on. Okay. Well, thanks, Josh. Thank you, guys. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Literally, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it.

Don't worry about it. It's going to be taken care of. Don't worry about it for Boston. Thank you. Thank you, guys. Swim with the fishes. Gosh. Wow. Gosh. Wow.

Peter. Being a therapist is hard. Yeah. Okay. I don't think I can actually be a therapist, because I would unfortunately... No, no, no, you can't. I laughed way too much just now. You literally can't.

You can't be a therapist. You beat me up for eight minutes, I'm like... Oh, yeah, that's awful, man. Big problem we have emily emily hi emily long time listener first time caller didn't say that in front of the mic super professional thanks for helping me well we're so happy to have you here oh thank you tell you. Tell us what's going on with you. Well, you both are successful comedians and in successful careers. And are we? Yes. Okay.

Put that in writing. I want to get back on dating apps. But the thing that's stopping me is that anytime I read a prompt, I overthink it. So I'm like, I don't know how to balance being funny. I don't know how to balance being flirty. Like, I don't know. What do people want? What do?

Yeah. I personally think I feel like people want someone who's authentic and genuine. I think that being too funny on those dating apps with prompts might be a little cringe. Ooh, interesting take. Do you know what I'm saying? Only from looking at friends when they show me some of the prompts when I'm like, oh, that's hilarious. Okay. I can't help but think about them sitting there thinking about it forever and writing it down and being so proud of themselves.

To me, Amanda, that's a little bit cringe so i don't think you need to think so hard about what's the funniest thing could you help me workshop some i have some prompts here can we pitch can we pitch do you agree with that or um i sort of do i think i dating apps are weird i've been vocal about not loving them yeah but i almost think if for for women it's it's it's the issue of there's so many shitty dudes that if you write something that's very authentic and real to who you are and you're like oh i wonder if this is gonna like push away a lot of people it's like maybe that's actually the the goal like you don't want to deal with all the shitty dudes yes you

want to push them away and only bring in the people who are genuinely into your personality. That's what I think. Okay, let's see what we're working with. I'll fall for you if blank. Okay. Something fun.

The way to win me over. Blank. Fart in front of me. The way to win me over Blank Fart in front of me Okay Okay The way to win me over The way to win me over I don't think I'd be successful on dating apps Let's just be real

The way to win me over Okay The way to win me over Wow I think I think Amanda and I have met our match on this. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. The way to win me over. Yeah.

Okay. The way to win me over. I want to say something about like listen, listen more. But that's just me being so genuine. Honestly, I'm still going with fart in front of me. We'll see what happens. Okay.

See, I'm thinking if you put it... Fart in front of me. We'll see what happens. My head's going like take away the prompts. I'm thinking knowing you like having some sort of Skyrim quote in there or something like that. Literally, though. I actually think.

I can't wait to figure out what that is. Oh, no, Amanda. Funny you ask. I am wearing an amulet of Mara, which does mean that I am available for marriage. There's your fucking prompt. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, use a real prompt that you would say. You are naturally funny.

Like, I can't come up with something that you would say. You are naturally funny. I can't come up with something that is directly from your heart. That is hilarious. I know, though, Hinge has those prompts. Yeah. You almost need them. They're crazy. Yeah.

Okay, what's the first one? I have a few of them. They're like, dating me is like blank. Dating me is like a sad carnival that comes to that run down Macy's in your town. It's fun for a few hours. And if you stick around, maybe you'll get something better out of it. Don't do that. Okay, we've solved your problem.

Don't do that. When I said genuine, do not do that. No, don't go negative. Don't go journal entry. No negative comedy. Go negative. No negative comedy. I love self-deprecating humor. Yeah.

But if it's self-deprecating, it shouldn't be like truly like, it should still show that you're very confident. And do that in person. Do that in person so they can see your face when you're doing it because it's hilarious. But like, I would say, do something where, try to elicit a response of just like, huh, that's fun. Have them like feel something good. Okay. That that's fun. Have them feel something good. That's what I would say. Feel something good. The Macy's thing.

So yeah, we figured that out. Yeah, okay, we got that one. Hey, I'm still going with the fart. What else? The one thing I'd love to know about you is What is the one thing you'd love someone to know about you? Oh, or what I want to learn about somebody else? I think the one thing you'd love someone to know about you? Oh, or what I wanna learn about somebody else? I think that you should have someone who knows you

interview you about this. Ask you this question and then respond first thing. And then respond second thing. So what's the answer to that? The one thing I'd love you to know about me is that I really love my job. And that I really put a lot of energy and focus into my job and my job is important to me.

I love that. And I want some, and I want somebody else who has like a similar, like you don't got to care about, like you don't have to be super passionate about your career, but there's gotta be something that you're very passionate about because I am drawn to passionate people. That's great.

Dude, what are you talking about? You're winning me over. Yeah. I'm swiping left. Very, what are you talking about? You're winning me over. Yeah. I'm swiping left. Very confident. Thank you. Is it right?

Is it right? Is it right? Right means good, right? You asked dating app advice from the person who hasn't used the internet since it was created. I had a Gateway 2000, and I had a fun time on that. Well, thank you Bo ask people that really know you well to ask you that prompt and come up with the first thing

and then come up with the second thing write it down and be like okay fuck it I love it filter out the idiots get you out of your head swipe right yes that's what I meant to say

thank you Bo I'll give an update right? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. That's what I meant to say. Okay. All right. Thank you, Bo. Thank you. I'll give an update. I'm going to,

I'll put the, I'll put the, I'll put the fart one on my profile and we'll see what happens. Yeah. Let's see. If you really feel that. Oh God. Oh my God. Our next person is Angela. It's Angela.

Angela Giorgiani. And she... I'm gonna need some major help. Okay, so he's at the point right now. Oh no! It doesn't stop. The sound doesn't stop, okay? And the sound, it really, it really.

So I have to see if he needs burping. Is the baby the announcer from SNL? It's a musical guest. Kristen Wiig. You shove a key and it's back. You know what? I actually am here for help because the help I need is like just a babysitter. So if you want to, if you want to.

It's the moon card, but also it's chosen. Yeah. His name is chosen. Yeah. His name is Cho. Cho. Say it again. Cho.

Cho. Why does everyone think that's funny? It's short for chosen. It sounds like chode. Yeah. Choey. What about Choey? Choey. again show show why is everyone think that's funny it's short for chosen like chode yeah showy what about Joey Joey Joey okay so you don't you insert one of these and find out what he needs oh a mother could take a break that's not how I so you insert a key card and to what the baby wants. I don't think that's how real babies work. Yes, it is.

Everything's a nap these days. Can I say that we predicted? I just need to take a nap. It's been all day. Scott loves this sound. Yeah, Scott's having a great time. This is awful. Do you guys mind if I leave him with you when I go shower?

No. Can I just say that we predicted a Smosh baby? Yes. Our prediction of a Smosh baby came true because this counts. You have to be careful because it's going to give me a report of abuse at the end. Oh. No, legit. Legit.

So at least if the report comes up, just be like, no, my friend Amanda is horrible. How often do you have to, like, when I shove the key in be like, no, my friend Amanda is horrible. When I shoved the key in. Also, don't put the panic key in. Let's try Shane. I did put the panic key in. You just don't have the touch. Maybe you just don't have the touch.

So what is your problem? Okay. I need a freaking nap. That's my problem. So you've been taking care of this baby for how many hours now? A lot. So what have you learned um i started this video out being like motherhood's easy um and jokes on me huh there's your clip um

it's it's a lot because also you think when you walk around the office that everyone's gonna be like hi let me hang out Everyone's putting their head down. I'm like, diaper change. You got to really jam it in there, Shane. And do you think it's because. I'm afraid of hurting it. It's already hurt. I'm its mother.

I don't know. I don't know. So what's your biggest problem? Minus having a crying baby consistently that you weren't sure you were going to have. I think it's just hard to work and be a mom at the same time. Oh, amen to that, sister. Am I right? Whew.

What's the solution? We thought superheroes were in Marvel movies? No, they're at the home. Hey. He just had to look at him. I just. Look at Joe. Just needed to think.

Just needed to focus. You just needed to focus. Oh, my God. Well, it's been great seeing you guys. Wait, you're not done here. You're just going to keep him? Wait a second. Get your ass back here. Did you buy it?

Do you guys have, like, a remote somewhere? Was this a prank? No. No, we've tried to manipulate it. I guess stress does not help the baby, because I was really stressed out shoving the keys in there. What did you do when you looked at it?

I just, I don't know, I just picked them up. Oh my god, Shane is reminding of my dad. The babies will be crying, and my dad will pick up a baby and be like, you just need to nap. And the baby will be like, ah. Thank me, Lord. Did you insert burp? The cards, I feel like I couldn't get the cards in.

Because if you put attention in, sometimes he laughs. I tried to put attention in, but then gave up on it, and then I just kind of picked him up. Look at Papa. Turn him around so we can see you with him. Oh, okay. And this is also. Maybe he's crying again.

Here, he's supposed to have his little chosen. Oh. There he is. And Derek is in his eyes. He looks like Meghan Trainor's's supposed to have his little chosen. Oh. There he is. And Derek is in his eyes. He looks like Meghan Trainor's baby. He kind of looks like baby geniuses. Yeah. Yeah, which he is because he's chosen.

Put your hand down, bud. Let's put your hands down. Okay, well, let's not. Put your hands down. So your biggest problem is being a working mom and having a baby. Yeah, it was just hard. I had to take a meeting for the Games Channel. It's just hard to focus.

I guess solving it is just having Shane. Wow. Look at you. Glad I solved this problem after failing at dating apps. Wow. Okay, well thank you guys. I really appreciated it. Shane, it's like wow, what an attractive quality.

I love it. No problem it's like, wow, what an attractive quality. I love it. No problem. Good luck, baby. This is incredible. I don't know what's going on. Yeah. This is. I'm scared to pick him up and he's going to start crying.

You just have calm energy. No, you're going to be fine. Hey, believe in yourself. Thank you. Thank you. I think just have, well, best of luck to you. Thank you so much. You look great.

Thank you so much. You look great. Yeah, it's, yeah. For having a baby, you look great. Okay, Bob, we're going in. Okay. Oh, he's got a katana too.

Oh, nice. Oh, yeah, give a baby a sword. That works. There you go. Yeah, our department offered this and I said no because I'm a good mother.

Good, but then you just gave it to him. No, I just keep it in here for bits. Oh, smart. As long as you parental supervision. All right. Let's see. Oh, my God.

Please don't start crying. That was so funny. Please start crying. Well, there you go. Where are the keys? Do you have all the keys? Good job. Yes, I have all the keys.

Good job, Cho. Everybody give it up for Cho. Cho doesn't. I love baby Cho. How long was he crying for? That was our longest cry. And you fixed it, so. Okay.

I'll make sure to find you again. All right. Love you guys. Love you, too. Good luck with everything. Good luck. Sorry I put my feet on the table. I had no idea that you were about to have a baby.

Out of everyone here, it's a wild choice. Yeah, it is. It's a wild choice. It's excellent. A wild choice. Love y'all. Love you. Love y'all. All right. I'm a wild choice. Yeah, it is. It's a wild choice. It's excellent. A wild choice. Love y'all. Love y'all. Alright. So calm now. That is gonna be one wild

Smosh Pit video. Well, at least we predicted a Smosh baby. And hey, we gotta mark that off. Yeah, we do. That's real. Okay. Next up, we have Matt Duran here. Duran Duran! Get in here! Yay!

Isn't it your birthday this month? It is. April 22nd, Earth Day. Oh, the baby's crying again. The moment she walked away from Shane, the baby started crying. Oh, yeah. Shane, did you know you had a baby touch?

Anyways. What's going on, Duran? Oh, my God. I've been dealing with this issue for like 20 years. I'm very excited to hear what you guys think. Oh, I'm so glad we're getting this very cooked. Okay. All right.

What's going on? My dad is dead. All right. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. When did your dad die? 20 years ago.

Okay. And how do you feel i feel okay but i oftentimes kind of think you know it'd be nice to have a dad for a moment for just a second right and then i saw the way you were handling baby cho over here shane and um it made me think about it sitting over on their couch again just like there's that moment again of like, man, it would have been nice to be like, I could sit on my dad's lap for a second, you know? You're going to make me cry.

No, if you start crying, I'll start crying. Well, I'll start crying. Okay. So are we saying that Shane can't be the solution for this too? Well, I don't know. You can always sit on Shane's lap when you ask him. If you ask him and he says yes, you can. Do I have consent

to do that? Matt, you have consent. I hope the chair can hit him. That's on camera. That's on camera. Come on over here, son. Go ahead.

Is that an open invitation for actual right now? Yeah. Sure. Let's do this. I'm so, this feels like an episode where I can just chill, and that feels good for me. Wow. How was, uh.

How do you feel? How was work today, son? It was good. Um, I mean, it was kind of busy, too, so I was kind of stressed out about that but I don't know I just like being I'm just glad that I'm here with you now I'm feeling a lot better

good, you're not getting bullied by Peter are you? please say no no, Peter and I are tight I don't know how to feel about that he's a bully he told me I'm not a soft bitch.

Okay. I feel like there's And you know, people who lose their dads aren't, you know, they become really hard bitches. What? Yeah. I'm gonna grab the video camera and just film this. Amanda, let me be a father here for a second. No worries. Gotcha. Go, go, go.

You know what? It's okay to be a soft bitch sometimes. In fact, that's important. Yeah. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. I do feel like I have become a little hardened, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Maybe a little too hardened.

Probably. Probably. I mean, more hardened now that you're with Shane? No, I think I'm softening up a little bit. That's what we want. It's okay to cry. I think men need to cry more. I totally agree.

And it's okay to cry about people that you've lost, including your dad. Absolutely. How do you feel now? I mean, I feel really great to have that little moment. Yeah, that was... Like what it's like to sit on my dad's lap again. Yeah. Yeah.

So, yeah. Thank you for just a little moment of that. Yeah. How do we find more moments like that? I don't know. That's... Is it an open invitation to sit on your lap whenever I need it? Oh, I don't know the answer to that.

Uh, sure? But let's find other laps. Yeah. That we can maybe ask for, because his lap might get tired. Yeah, that is true. And in many ways here at Smosh, Ian is like all of our dad.

Yeah. So there's also him. And I heard his lap is open. But I know he's, yeah. Okay. Maybe I'd ask him. Yeah, you should ask him. I'll ask him.

Definitely ask him. Okay. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Ian's lap. But we're here for you. I'm here for you.

Thank you. And Amanda's here to say all sorts of crazy shit. Yeah. Yeah. I'm here to like, you know, distract. Well, I need that. Okay. shit. Yeah, I'm here to like, you know, distract. Well, I need that. Okay. Yeah. And, you know, you can sit on my lap maybe. Oh, okay.

Sometimes. Great. Alright. Well, I hope we helped solve your problem. Yeah. Cool. I was hoping for like, maybe you could bring him back fully, but. Yeah, that's gonna take a lot more time and a lot more money. Yeah. Cool. I was hoping for like maybe you could bring him back fully, but. Yeah, that's going to take a lot more time

and a lot more money. Yeah. And we have to do it at a full moon, man. It's like a more permanent. Yeah. Tarot, right?

Yeah. Yeah. Maybe at the full moon we can call him in. Okay. Yeah. We're going to need a team for that.

Great. Yeah. I'll come back then. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

We'll get to work on that. Yeah, we'll get to work on that. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Duran Duran, you're welcome. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Okay. We'll get to work on that. Yeah, we'll get to work on that. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Duran Duran, you're welcome. Thank you. All right.

Thank you, Duran. You're welcome, son. Oh, yeah. Wow. Twice. I've been a father like a whole lifetime of being a father. You've been a father twice, and I realize I keep trying to help when sometimes I just need to sit back and let you take over.

I had a baby. Suddenly my son was my age. There's a lot of things happening for you. I don't know what's going on. You got married and babies just came in fast. There's babies everywhere. All right. Next client.

Okay. We have Rock here. Rock is here. Hi, Rock. Hello, Rock. How are you guys doing? How are you? I'm good. Hi, Rock. Hello, Rock. How are you guys doing? How are you? Oh, I'm good.

I'm good. But I got a bit of an issue that I've also been dealing with my entire life. Oh, okay. It's less silly than a dead dad. Less silly. Less silly is the word I would, yeah. But yeah, so I'm kind of like in a cycle of feeling inauthentic when I want to promote myself

and try to be successful. I do a lot of things outside of Smosh, outside of like my job because, you know, I crave that success in some way. But whenever I start to promote or get in front of people's faces, it's like, hey, do you like me? Do you like this? Do you like me? Do you like this?

I feel like a piece of shit. And I can't stand doing that. It makes me feel really fake. I understand that completely. I totally understand it, too. It's easy for us at Smosh to promote Smosh. Because we have Smosh behind us. I work at this place a little bit.

But it's hard to promote yourself. Yeah. It's kind of weird too. Because it's also like my accomplishments. In a lot of ways. I see the things that I do outside as I should. Like my personal accomplishments. But it's always been kind of weird because as a kid or whatever, I won state champ as a wrestler.

My parents weren't there to see that. No one actually came to see that. So no one ever saw it. Oh, there it is. Graduated from high school, whatever. It doesn't matter. But no one came to see that. So it was, it's, I've always sort of like, you know, loved myself to the point where it's like, I don't need

anyone's recognition. But now I'm in a position and in a job where being liked and being wanted is your measure of success. And I can't stand that. It makes me feel gross. I completely understand. It also sounds like it has been going on for a while. You've kind of got to this place where it's like, I don't need other people in my inner circle to say that I am successful. But we do need that.

We do need that recognition in order to be able to promote it in ourselves. Do you know what I'm saying? Like we need our in order to be able to promote it in ourselves. Do you know what I'm saying? Like we need our inner circle to be like, damn, I saw that thing that you did. And that was all you. And that was fucking amazing. Yeah. And I've built a tight friend group who does like, you know, boost me up.

It's like I've loved myself so much where I'm like I come off as like real cocky now. Like I come off as like a real cocky piece of shit. I understood. But there's something like deep down in me. There's just like, you know, I work so hard on like a certain thing or I'll take a year and all I do is focus on that one thing and then I release it and no one gives a shit. And then it's like I want people to care, but also I don't want people to go out of the way to be like I also think though it's it's to a degree it's like we are not our uh you know our accomplishments and who we are are separate things so it's like loving your accomplishments and loving

your hard work is it doesn't necessarily mean that it's like oh i'm full of myself or i'm cocky it's like no this thing that i love like because i know like you and andre made uh your dnd show and like you guys worked really hard on it it's like it's really cool thing that you guys love and you're allowed to promote something that you love and talk about something that you love that doesn't mean like by talking about this project we made that i'm full of myself it's like no i love this thing and i love it so much like I want to share it with people. It's almost like a little, I see it as like a little deal with the devil that we have to make in order to like, get this out here. I have to be like, okay, I kind of got to do this feeling that's a little bit gross.

But over time, it actually does get better. And what I've learned is, I kind of drop little hints as I'm working on it. That helps me push to work to it, but then also people are like, oh, I know that you've been working on this thing for a while, I can't wait to see it. It's the anticipation. So I think it's like having the belief in yourself

that like I worked on this thing and people are gonna come. People are going to see it and I'm going to remind them. And it is a little bit of like, all right devil, like this is a bit gross. on this thing and people are gonna come. People are going to see it and I'm going to remind them. And it is a little bit of like, alright devil, this is a bit gross, this feels a bit gross for me. But that's just because you just need to keep doing it. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, I get it, I get it. Yeah, it's still a bit of a weird gray area for me, continuously putting it out there because there's always just that thing of just like, okay, it's out there now and I'm still not getting the response that I was hoping for. Not necessarily like I want it or I need it. It was just like, okay, I did tell everyone about this. I did do all these things or whatever. And it just fizzles every single time. And so I jumped from thing to thing.

And I'm like not hoping to like get people to like it. But it's like it's genuinely things that I love to do. But those things have to have people like it to be successful. That's the gross part. That is the gross part. And I honestly feel like it's so complicated, but it's like you never, I think putting so much effort on the expectation, if you maybe try a little bit to release that a little bit, you may be able to just do it and

move on to the next thing and just do it and do it because that's the weird thing. We don't know what's going to be successful. We don't know. It also speaks to one of the things I hate most about just the internet and YouTube and stuff is that a lot of my favorite things on YouTube have not received the recognition that they deserve. A lot of the biggest things on YouTube are some of the most garbage creatives are some of the like most garbage creatives

and some of the funniest most creative works that i've seen don't get the the views and stuff like and that's the but that's also understanding that the reaction to a work does not and that's not the worth of that exactly how good it is too exactly but it is also the frustrating part yeah you're you're you're putting stuff out there. That is super, super successful in my eyes. Like how do we release

a little bit of the expectation just for your own heart? Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Because that's exhausting. Yeah. Yeah, it's very tiring.

Yeah. You're doing a great job. That's the pain of an artist. Yep. Bleeding. Always. You're doing a great job. But yeah, thank of an artist. Yep. Bleeding. Always. You're doing a great job. But yeah, thank you guys.

I appreciate that. Anytime. Thank you. I was really into that. I was ready to go for an hour. Yeah, damn. All right. All right, our next guest is Trevor.

Trevor, new Smosh member. I didn't get a single clap. Wait, I, hello. That is brutal. Oh, Coney Island, hey, there you go. Yeah, thank you. Trevor, I clapped for you. Thank you, I appreciate it.

How are you doing? Doing good, yeah. Do you guys want to guess my problem? Okay. You got a haircut and you have a hat on. Your problem is that the Smosh audience hates you. Please don't say that. They don't.

No, please don't say that. I'm going to have another problem tonight. They really don't. They really don't. Wait, I don't know. All right. No, I don't know. No, it's pretty serious, though.

Okay, yeah, yeah. I'm addicted to Fortnite. Okay, that is a problem. Yeah. Not only are you, I have learned in these recent weeks How widespread in our office Fortnite is Literally everyone's playing it

Every time I turn on my PC The little logo just talks to me Like the green goblin mask You've abandoned RuneScape No, I've not abandoned RuneScape That's just my normal daily routine What are you playing more of? RuneScape. That's just my normal daily routine. What are you playing? What are you playing more of?

RuneScape or Fortnite? Well, what am I playing more of? Probably Valorant. What the hell? So you're addicted to gaming. No. No, I can quit whenever I want, I swear.

Oh, okay. Except Fortnite. So wait, you're saying you're addicted to Fortnite, but you're spending more time on Valorant and RuneScape. Yeah, yeah, because I don't consider those problems. Okay. So it's a're saying you're addicted to Fortnite, but you're spending more time on Valorant and RuneScape. Um, yeah. Yeah, because I don't consider those problems.

Okay. So it's a problem because you are thinking about Fortnite 24-7. No, it's a problem because I don't want to be playing Fortnite anymore. You don't? Why not? I don't know. It's not good for my health. Why?

Valorant, but it's like a different kind of thing. Why are you trying to pick me apart right now? Because you came here, man. Oh, this is touchy. This is touchy. We have to be careful here. It's not touchy. We have to be careful.

Oh. I'm normal. Okay, all right. We have to be careful here. Okay, so when did you decide that Fortnite is a problem? Did someone say it to you? Well, I spent a long time, a really, really long time, probably too many hours,

trying to get the Peter Griffin skin. Yeah, so did Spencer and Alex and everyone else? Yeah, but not only that, I grinded to like, okay, because they cheated, okay? They bought it? No, they didn't buy it, but there was like a level exploit that they did, so they got a bunch of levels without actually playing the game. I grinded to level

150 all on my own. And then you got it, and then how did you feel once you got the Peter Griffin skin? Awesome. Euphoric. Oh, boy. It was great. Oh, boy. Okay, well.

That sounds awesome. Yeah, it was awesome. See, I don't know why you guys think this is a problem. No, it is a problem. I don't know. You spent hours on Peter Griffin skin? What are we discussing here? What are we talking about here?

There's trees growing. There's mountains. There's trees growing. There's mountains. There's the wind. There's flowers blooming. It's spring. What are we discussing? This is a problem. We're going to talk about it, Trevor.

You asked whether or not, how to quit Fortnite. You asked the advice from someone who didn't know about Harambe, about your Fortnite addiction. I know what Fortnite is. It's pretty cool stuff, okay? There's a fort and there's a knight in it at once. So... How do you think

Fortnite goes? It's really cool. How do you think a game of Fortnite is played? So it's really cool. It's all these demons from another place, and they're coming in, and they are trying to distract the other players so that they can storm the castle. And the castle's a fort and it was built by a bunch of kids on a sleepover. Okay, so anyways, Trevor, this is why this is a problem because you said it was a problem and we

started asking you questions about it and then you attacked us and said it's not a problem so i think it's a problem simply because it makes you cagey it doesn't make me cagey i'm not cagey i'm totally chill right now i'm totally relaxed honestly i didn't even think it was a problem i was told maybe i should come on and try and get some advice but i don't think it's who told you that people i don't have to name names why are you trying to pick me apart i don't know why people here would say it's a problem. Literally everybody here plays it. Yeah, nobody here told me it was a problem. I got other people.

Who told you it's a problem? I don't want to talk about it. Oh, I know. Got it. I understand. What? Guys, I live with a gamer, okay? I live with a gamer.

Sometimes it gets really hard when you're like, I'm trying to have a conversation with you, and you are in the underworlds, okay? Like, sometimes it gets really hard. Sometimes it's like, how many hours are you wasting on this game? Like, I am here. Hello. This was all bait to get Amanda talking about Fortnite.

Wow, you fell into his trap. I could hear you. So you don't feel bad at all. No. No, I don't even play Fortnite that much these days. I kind of got the Peter Griffin skin and then sort of stopped. Okay, was I right about how Fortnite is played? Not at all.

Not even close. Not close at all. Well, then I can't wait to explore it. Wow. Let's play it. Watch my ass. Awesome. We're gonna play Fortnite now.

That'd be awesome. Why do I feel like I'm in the hot seat right now? Why do you guys do this to me, huh? What is this? What is this? What is this? Men against chronically offline queen who doesn't know video games. I'm sorry that I lived.

I'm sorry that I experienced grass growing under my naked feet. I'm sorry that I am a fairy living in a magical world go Trevor thank you thank you so much you are not welcome back this seat can never hold Trevor's ass again we're gonna have so many comments being like Amanda plays Fortnite now

Five Nights at Freddy's is done Fortnite is in I always lock myself into a hole. It's okay. It's... In no world do I care if you know what Fortnite is or how it's played. It's okay. It's fine. No, it's totally fine.

No, of course it's fine. I watch Tommy Lee Jones movies, okay? And that's cool. I promise you, Fortnite is a million times simpler than Five Nights at Freddy's. So you've played the more complicated thing. All right. Oh, last up.

Oh my God. I'm so excited about this. Our director of Smosh Mouth. Our very own director is here. Selena. Selena, who has the... She has... One minute left.

Five minutes left. One minute left. Just so we don't forget. Okay. Selena, how are you? What's minute left? Five minutes left. One minute left. Just so we don't forget. Okay. Selena, how are you? What's going on? I'm good. This has been a great episode.

First of all, thank you so much for helping us with Smosh Mouth. You are an incredible director. Thank you so much. You've been doing everything. Yeah. For like a month, over a month now, you've been doing all the notes. You've been directing these episodes. You've been running this whole show. Yeah show yeah and guys this is my second job

i have another job i know you also run the entire office so uh she schedules everything what's going on um so not me but a friend what no a friend friend was wondering how to make friends as an adult. Ooh, that's a good question. Yeah. A friend. Yeah, a friend. A friend, not Selena. Okay.

Okay. How to make friends as an adult. I've been thinking about this lately. Talk to me i think uh your your passions are a great outlet for it um i am someone my passions i'm very internal with them like i i love reading i love uh you know certain shows like whatever but i'm very just like oh like that's in my own time my own thing But I think finding ways to connect with the community of that is so great. Like I always think about that whenever I've gone to conventions of just like, oh, that's so cool that these people, they love a thing, but then they find ways to find other people that love that thing. And you, you find that community, uh, for that, for that

passion. So if you like cooking, it's like, go to a cooking class. Like if passion so if you like cooking it's like go to a cooking class like if you if you like a certain sport like obviously like you know go find a club that's doing that like finding those outlets to uh to share something you love with other people i think it's such a great opportunity oh yeah also i i feel like there's little same like little communities everywhere simply like going to the gym going to the gym i feel like there's little saying like little communities everywhere. Simply like going to the gym, going to the gym. I feel like there are so many people who are like if you see them all the time, like, hey, what's going on with you? Or going to like your local coffee shop or going to the same bar or restaurant that you love, like going there and meeting the regular people.

But what if this person is like shy? Yeah, that's why I I'm not the gym. I've gone to the gym for 15 years. I have never made a friend at the gym. Oh. I don't know if I have like a sticker on my face, but people are always like, what's your name? We should get lunch.

You're a very outgoing person and stuff, so I don't think you realize how much of it might be coming from you. I get pretty introverted when I go to the gym. I usually like yeah so how do people become your friends i i mean i really have become friends with people through work a lot um yeah the acting industry is where i've met most of my friends restaurant industry that has truly been imprevident that has truly been i mean it this is truly a conundrum for me because there were years when I wasn't working much and I did have

like a couple of my friends that had been solid friends for a long time but other than that it was really hard for me I had a hard time but I will say like acting classes, improv classes were always the opportunities I think and as a shy person it's like that's great because I'm kind of I'm here with them for a few weeks so I get that conversation Oh, yeah. trust to be like, Hey, you know, as a shy person, I think a lot of times I just, I have this thought

that people don't like me or they don't want to talk to me, but going, no, most people are good or, or, you know, people are nice and kind and they, they do like me and want to spend time with me and talk to me and coming with that point of view and then, and then giving yourself those opportunities. How shy is this person? Like, doesn't want to leave their house shy or just really doesn't like doing group activities? Because that could be a thing, too. No, not, like, agoraphobic, but just, I don't know,

like, someone who's behind the camera. Behind the what? Behind the camera. I the what? Behind the camera. I see. Mm-hmm. Like, what can this person do to become your guys' friend? We have one minute, by the way, so you have one minute. I think I know what's going on here.

I think I know. I think maybe this person. You want to sit on my lap. Okay wait. We got it. Yeah? Is that an actual offer? Yeah sure whatever. Oh. Okay. Oh god. What? Wow. What did I

do? What did I do? Do you want to sit on my lap? Sure. Guys. Wow. Alright. What did I do? What did I do? Do you want to sit on my lap? Sure. Guys. Wow. All right. This is all Selena wanted. Yeah. This is, guys, is this friendship? This is friendship right here.

This is friendship because I know you. Oh. I'm pretty certain Amanda. Can I fuck myself? I'm going to walk down the street and people are like, yo, can I sit on your lap? Yeah. You started it. Selena, I'm pretty sure Amanda down the street and people are like, yo, can I sit on your lap? Yeah. You started it. Selena, I'm pretty sure Amanda and I were your friends

at the start of this. That's what I thought. I think for a lot longer than this podcast has been going. Boo, you email me. You get in contact with me more than my mother. Come on. That's true. We talk every day.

Yeah, we do. You were my friend. So this was for you, not a friend. No, it's for a friend. Okay. I just randomly tonight get a knock on my door, get I sit on your lap. I'm Selena's friend.

I'm Jeff. All right. Love you. Well, this has been Smosh Mouth. We have solved a lot of problems today. Yeah, I kind of want to do like an update. Yeah. We should do this again.

I think that we should do this again. Yeah. We need to get Peter on. Well, don't spoil. Guys. Well, we definitely need to work that out. Yeah. There's a bunch of people who submitted that weren't able to be here today.

So there's going to be a round two. Okay. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah. Round two. Okay. Oh, hell yeah! Yeah. Round two. All right. Well, thank you for watching. We hope maybe we solved your problems, too.

And we'll see you later. Solved our own problems. Bye, guys. Goodbye. Smosh mouth, smosh, smosh mouth. Smosh, smosh, smosh.