Smosh Mouth - #47 - Try Not To Laugh: The Podcast w/ Spencer Agnew

Episode Date: May 20, 2024

Amanda, Shayne, and Spencer have a very normal and adult conversation. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com/SMOSHMOUTH SUBSCRIBE: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshCast WEAR OUR JOKES: https://smosh.com WHO YOU HEAR Shayne Topp // https://www.instagram.com/shaynetopp/ Amanda Lehan-Canto // https://www.instagram.com/filmingamanda/ Spencer Agnew // https://www.instagram.com/spennser/ WHO YOU DON’T HEAR (usually) Director: Selina Garcia, Amanda Lehan-Canto, Shayne Topp Editor: Luke Baker Producer: Selina Garcia, Amanda Lehan-Canto, Shayne Topp Assistant Director: Marcus Munguia Art Director: Cassie Vance Assistant Art Director: Erin Kuschner Art Coordinator: Alex Aguilar, Josie Bellerby, Natalie Lewis Prop Assistant: Adam Mustafa Audio Mixer: Scott Neff Director: Selina Garcia Producer: Amanda Lehan-Canto, Shayne Topp, Selina Garcia Director of Photography: Brennan Iketani Director of Design: Brittany Hobbs DIT/AE: Matt Duran CEO: Alessandra Catanese EVP of Production: Zoe Moacanin EVP of Programming: Kiana Parker Executive Coordinator: Rachel Collis IT: Tim Baker Operations PA: Katie Fink Post Production Manager: Luke Baker Director of Production: Amanda Barnes Production Coordinator: Marcus Munguia Operations & Production Coordinator: Oliver Wehlander Production Assistant: Ovsana Tsaturian Senior Manager, Channel & Strategy: Lizzy Jones Channel Operations Coordinator: Audrey Carganilla Social Creative Producer: Peter Ditzler, Tommy Bowe Social Strategist: Erica Noboa, Mallory Myers Social Media Coordinator: Kim Wilborn Talent Coordinator: Selina Garcia OTHER SMOSHES: Smosh: https://smo.sh/Sub2Smosh Smosh Pit: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshPit Smosh Games: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshGames El Smosh (Spanish Dub): https://smo.sh/Sub2ElSmosh FOLLOW US: TikTok: https://smo.sh/TikTok Snapchat: http://smo.sh/OnSnapchat Instagram: https://instagram.com/smosh Facebook: https://facebook.com/smosh Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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If you have questions or concerns about gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. Ben MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Checking off your to-do list? Here's an easy one from Pennzoil. Get up to a $30 MasterCard prepaid virtual card with the purchase of 10 liters of Pennzoil Ultra Platinum at Canadian Tire. Maximizing engine protection and getting a reward for it? That's two checks Welcome back to Smosh Mouth. I'm Shane. And I'm Amanda. And we have a very, very special guest,

Charles Spencer Yagnyu. Wow, thank you. That's me. You're so welcome. Welcome, Charles. Yeah, that's... You're allowed to laugh right now. Why would I laugh at that?

Guys, we're playing Try Not To Laugh. We're keeping it chill, this version. We're just going to have Selena tally up and whoever wins will win. How much? Because no one has taken the... You gotta reestablish because Courtney won last time. But did she take it? Yeah, I think so.

I maybe still owe her the money. Well, I guess you guys can figure it out. I promised it. In court. But we can decide. Let's start. Let's restart it. Okay, let's restart it. What does the winner get? Five bucks. No, I'm just kidding. Well, I guess you guys can figure it out. I promised it. In court. But we can decide. Let's restart it. Okay, let's restart it. What does the winner get? Five bucks.

No, I'm just kidding. Well, because Spencer here has a lot of power, you know, being in charge of Smosh Games. Don't tell him that. Maybe the winner can get something on Smosh Games. Or maybe you don't have to play another Five Nights at Freddy's game. Ooh. I like playing them. No, I know you do. I like playing them.

Shane doesn't. That would be my dream. Shane doesn't. What do we win? First choice of a live stream? Honestly, that feels good. Whoever wins gets to do a live stream I don't have to produce. Alright, whoever wins gets to decide the creative order.

Spencer gets nothing because he already is doing this. If you win, you just get to do your job. Yeah. And if we win, we get to choose the live stream. Okay. Okay. That's better than money.

All right. Staring contest part two. Oh, my God. That was Shane's idea. It was my idea that I did not pitch like. Seriously. Seriously. We know it was your idea.

We were meeting. We were over there. We were all talking. And we were like, we got to figure out what the live stream is. And I was just like, staring contest spencer and alex looked at each other legitimately like oh that's a great idea oh um so we did it and it was insane and it's become like a huge part of fan lore spencer's already bringing an energy to this podcast i literally am drinking water he's bringing in like bucket energy.

This is the latest we've ever recorded a podcast. Yeah, this is the latest. 5pm. And we're doing Try Not To Laugh. It's 5pm after we've recorded a bunch of shit today. What is happening here? How many drinks do you have in that jacket? You should have waited until we started Try Not To Laugh. This is good material, man. Okay, we're starting. No, we haven't

started yet. Have we not? No. We have. Okay, we're starting. No, we haven't started yet. Have we not? No. We have to say that we're starting. Okay. Do we want to just start early? Yeah. Okay. Wait, do you want to talk about stuff? No, we might. Look, it doesn't matter. Do you want to address anything? Do you want to address anything? The allegations?

The allegations? Yeah. Yes, guys, Harambe's dead. Let's just start it because I, full disclosure, did not prepare a lot. I've been very busy. It's been crazy time. Doing what? Yeah, yeah. You're jerking off.

Do a picture of himself. Okay. Okay. Oh, God. Who am I? Let's start now. All right. Because this energy is on him.

All right, let's go. Selena, we're starting now. Okay. Yeah, I've been busy. All right? Been a busy time. I know this is releasing weeks after, but okay. I got married, and also we've been filming a million things.

We got in, and if... Jesus. Okay, Amanda's laughing. He just... What is happening? Spencer pulled out a water bottle, then a V8 energy, and now a Coca-Cola.

He's also got... You're sick. ...a Mountain Dew Kickstart in the wings. Dude, are you wearing a diaper? I don't know how much... Do y'all want some? I don't know how much... Are you wearing a diaper?

You're not allowed to go to the bathroom during this. I don't drink Coke. Are you wearing a diaper? You're not allowed to go to the bathroom during this. I don't drink Coke. I'm setting that rule. You're not allowed to go to the bathroom. Setting that boundary. I'm setting that boundary. No, she's going to pee in the seat. God.

We can't have that happen. It's okay. Do y'all think you could pee your pants? Like on command. Absolutely. You know how many dreams I have that I go to the bathroom and go pee and I wake up and I'm still in bed? I could have easily done it.

I almost had that recently. I legit almost peed my pants recently. Tell us. I was having a dream where I was trying to use the, I was standing above the toilet and I was trying to pee and I couldn't. And I kept trying, I was like, okay, I'm about to pee.

And then it wouldn't happen. I was like, what the fuck's wrong with me? And then I wake up and I'm in bed and I was like, oh my God, no wonder. You're just, you are just pissing I'm in bed. And I was like, oh, my God. No wonder. You are just pissing a waterfall. And that's funny to you? It is funny to me. Is that funny to you?

You're just pissing on your own head. No, I luckily. Your head is getting mad at you. So do you think you could, like, piss right now? Not right now. I don't have to pee. If you had to pee, like, could you let yourself just let yourself just start pissing in your pants? I've never done that.

So I don't know. But I assume, yes. I just assume it would take a minute. I don't know if I could. I have a question. Have you ever been in the same room with someone and they've peed on the floor thinking it was the toilet? Literally never. What do you mean? What are you talking about? Man. Old times.

Yeah, that's crazy dude I actually have Okay now he's pulling out a tall Coca-Cola That's a Red Bull Oh that's a regular What is that? Actually can I have a sip? You know we're not allowed to drink

They never give us food or drinks You know what's insane? Spencer you're the one who set the rule To not have any beverages on this nice ass table. No, that's crazy. And you're really breaking it. It's warm. It's warm?

Out of my pocket. Yikes. Is the inside, is the liquid cool? No. We can put on some ice after this. God. That is disgusting. I didn't think it was too bad.

It's more pear than cinnamon. So guys, when I was younger, we all went to a concert and someone peed on the floor while we were all sleeping. While you were sleeping at the concert? No, no, no. We went to a concert and we all shared a room and this person peed in the corner thinking it was the toilet.

They were that drunk? They were that drunk. Okay, see I didn't even... That's all. I don't know why I wasn't... Sleep talk. Alcohol was't the... I one time was at a movie theater, and I was going to the bathroom after the movie. You know, that's like rush hour. That's so awesome.

That's urinal rush hour. I love that. And I was using the urinal, and then the guy, there was a guy sort of near me, and he's peeing, and then he goes to like zip up, and then he says,

full volume, I mean, this is an older guy he just goes oh shit I pissed myself for the whole bathroom to hear that's just a true story I'm not even necessarily trying to make you guys laugh with that that's a real story that happened I had urinal trauma for like the longest time because in 6th grade I was using the urinal at middle school

you're already in pretty much the most fragile state of, of, this is literally a true story. I know. And then, you're in the most fragile, it's how vulnerable you are, that you're telling me.

And so my friend, my friend, my so-called friend, oh, he, he, he kicks me into the urinal. Kicked you into it?

Like he, you know, he, he like playfully like, you know, with his foot kind of like shoved me into the urinal. So I got piss and water all over my pants. You got piss and shit all over your pants?

I got piss and water all over my pants. Oh, that's awful. Wait a second, I'm so confused. So you didn't use the urinal for years after? That was kind of like, yeah. I just kind of was like, I felt vulnerable. Oh, you were at the urinal. And my small penis. Okay. Ah, dang it. I thought I could get you with that.

You almost got Amanda. No, I was disappointed. Before, my regular ass penis. I was more disappointed that you have a small penis. No, that's fair. I was thinking like head of games. Head of games, yeah. Yeah.

I knew you had a small penis. Fuck. I forgot I was supposed to laugh. I knew it. Just, dude, imagine hooking up with a guy for the first time and you pull his pants up. I knew you had a small penis. Devastating. Devastating.

Would you be more upset about the assumption? Dude, assumptions, small penises. Write that down. But can it just be women? Fuck! Yeah, well, I mean, what is it? God damn it! So that was our teacher teacher in seventh grade more middle

school i hate that i would watch that oh i would absolutely wait if it was just women if it no if it was assumptions like small small penises and it's just like three dudes very seriously sitting around a table it's just like i have a crazy peeing story after this but that's like i can i might i might i literally have not told anyone the story yet. So I don't know if I'm going to tell it. But anyways, before that in, uh, in, um, seventh grade, our, our like biology class, our teacher kept being like the male penis, like the male penis. And we're like, we're, we're cracking up.

We're cracking up back there. And, uh, and he's like, well, like the, the, the female penis is the clitoris. And we, we had never, we had no way And we had no concept of what that was. I don't like that. But yeah, that was our seventh grade education. I don't like that. It's just saying every woman is a man. It's just like that we have a penis.

We don't have a penis. Well, the clitoris is kind of a penis. I think the embryo, isn't it? I think anatomically, look, I'm going to give anatomical advice on this podcast. I think the clitoris is pretty much a penis. Yeah. Can someone at home fact check that?

You know what? No one fact check that. I'm going to not join in on that. No one fact check that. I'm going to let Spencer stand alone in that. Guys, look, Dr. Fauci and I talked. I know nothing of. Guys, I've never seen anything.

You haven't seen your own penis? No. Let's stick on this for a while. Spencer is the chosen. Assumptions. But it's all people who have never seen their penis. Spencer, you're the chosen. You, Peter Griffin.

Never mind. Are you just saying names of things? Are we still talking about small penises? We can go back to it. What's the smallest piece you've ever seen? This is crazy. See, I feel like we could actually get Amanda to talk about this on the podcast. Yeah.

We'll talk about the- I had an assumptions in real life. That's for sure. Guys, it doesn't mean it's the end of the world. You bring three guys into your apartment. Buzz kill. Buzz kill? It doesn't mean it's the end of the world. It just means like, whoop, dried.

What was that? What was that? What was that? Your vagina was out and then it came back? That's the most insane thing you've ever said, Amanda. That's because I filter myself a lot when I work here. Oh my God. I've heard Amanda unfiltered.

It's crazy. I think I'm accepting that I'm going to lose this episode. Shane, I don't think Shane has heard me unfiltered. I've heard you unfiltered. You don't know me. I've heard you unfiltered. You don't know me. No, it is crazy. I've heard you unfiltered. You don't know me. I've heard you unfiltered. You don't know me. Well, guys, the weirdest thing ever is I actually got a message from The Chosen.

Oh, really? Yeah. It was weird. I was like, whose number is this? It was like 69, 69, 69. Uh-huh. That would definitely be The Chosen's number. Yeah.

It was so weird. Yeah. Hello. This is The Ch chosen calling in i heard that you guys have mentioned me many times on the podcast smush mouth i just want to say that the nofap is going well i haven't touched my penis in over 30 years. And it has worked out to my benefit. I did walk down the street the other day and a girl asked me if I was the chosen. And I said, no ma'am, I am the chosen in my own terms.

Only I get to say that. And then she asked if she could touch my penis. And I said, no, ma'am, you cannot because I am no fap. Usually my voice runs cap at 59 seconds. Yeah. It was all a dream. No woman ever asked to touch my penis. Oh, God. Did I just make a fun joke?

I'm so excited to be on your podcast. Oh, no. I think I came in my pants No, forever It's crazy I was like, the chosen left me the longest voicemail, man Where did you record that? In my closet

Was your husband home? Yeah, of course I said, he was doing the dishes, I said Hey babe, I'm gonna be talking to someone And it's not gonna be you So you don't have to worry about it It's not gonna be you That is crazy

And he was like Okay Are you kidding me? He's so used to it by now Yeah, no, I cannot imagine He's so used to it by now I cannot imagine Everything's in my closet

Dude, that That wasn't me That was the chosen You are truly, actually opening Your I'm thirsty Fifth beverage No, sixth Your sixth beverage That wasn't me. That was the chosen. You are truly actually opening your fifth beverage. No, sixth. Your sixth beverage on the table.

We don't like that. I had to rub it in. That you said that we couldn't have drinks here. You were the one who made that rule. You were literally. So Shane and I have been so thirsty every single episode. Okay. Seventh beverage. who made that rule. We're literally... So Shane and I have been so thirsty every single episode. Okay, seventh beverage.

A seventh beverage has hit the table. You're such a piece of shit. Your initials are S.A. Spencer Agnew or Sons of Anarchy. You're the Dennis Rodman of water. Doesn't even make sense, but... Yeah, what an old reference. Yeah. Remember Carmen Electra? of water. Doesn't even make sense. Yeah, what an old reference. Remember Carmen Electra?

Carmen Electra! Damn, he's fully going. He's going to chug this whole water bottle. For those listening, he's chugging an entire water bottle. He is a hydro homie right now. God, this is This is painful You're gonna pee pee your pants This is the most water he's drank in a month

Yeah, I know, he doesn't drink water Oh god, he's gonna get sick Watch him just throw up everywhere Don't wee for the wee right now He's just gonna throw up everywhere What if he just threw up? Just That was a lot of water

Yeah I'd say Holy crap man Okay That's what Joe wanted to talk about Jesus I was going to say with the chosen How crazy it is My TikTok feed is still

Clips from that chosen Clips Guys no No no no Clips from that chosen trivial person Clits? Clips Guys, no No, no, no No Okay, he made himself laugh That's an X name Not himself

He made himself laugh Have you ever touched a woman? Fuck Can we ask that on the podcast? Yeah, I just did Amanda's allowed to ask Okay, guys Say your body count on three

Oh, God Amanda's allowed to ask okay guys say your body count on three. Oh god Amanda's body count at Duncan Amanda in the restaurant business, dude. That shit was probably crazy. Yes, it was. But let me tell you right now, I did not look cute in my Duncan outfit. No khakis fit me. So they were always way too short. So I cut them to make them flares. Instead, they just looked like short pants with cuts in them.

Like capris. It was awful. Oh, God. I'm realizing what a bad position I'm in right now, because you two are definitely the most, like, you guys will say anything out of everyone on the cast. I think it's you two in the lead. Maybe Chance behind

both of you. Chance will say everything and then go, oops. Yeah. Chance, I think, but Chance, because Chance is there when Angela says something, he'll be like, Angela. Well, Angela will drop bombs. Yeah, but I think Angela is concerned. Like, she's actually. But if you guys say something crazy, you're like, what?

What? Oh, am I not? Oh, can I not? Dicks out. You should try it. It's freeing. Right, Spencer? Little dicks out.

Are you sick? I just don't think these thoughts you guys think. Okay, Mr. Perfect. Come on. Come on. Bro, frankly. I just have no impure thoughts. That's such a lie.

I don't think these thoughts you think, bro. Yeah. We know you're impure. Have you guys tried reading the Bible? We know you're nuts, okay? We know you read books. We know you're nuts. About stuff.

I can't go anywhere with that. But I keep getting served clips from that Trivial Pursuit Try Not to Laugh. Clits? This episode is going to be unhinged. Clips from the Trivial Pursuit Try Not to Laugh. I keep getting served them. That shit blew up on TikTok. And it's all the jokes that you said.

You were on fire in that. He's giving you a... I'm actually just talking. No, it was... I don't want to get pretentious. No, I think it's your finest work. It's that and Gentlemen's Don't Win Mario Party. Isn't it kind of crazy when you go back, like maybe you guys

experience this, maybe you don't. It's just like, but when you go back and you kind of don't remember things you said. Oh, yeah. And you see things that you said and you're like, wow, that was funny. How did I think of that? It's everything. There are episodes of Try Not, most episodes of Try Not to Laugh that I watch now and I'm like, I don't

remember any of this. We film so much and the way we film nowadays where we film 30 videos in a week and by the end of it, it's a blur and I'm like, I just went all that time. But I think we're in a good space where it's like, you know, we're just really good at reacting to each other and that's where a lot of the, you know,

I think even if we're not realizing it, we're constantly setting each other up for gags. Yeah. Always. And we're doing it where it's like such a muscle memory thing now that, that I think we don't have to think. We're truly not thinking while we're, we're on camera. Guys, it's almost like we're a theater group.

Oh God, I'm going to quit now. It's almost like we're a theater group and we did everything together and yes and, and we all held hands You're kind of attractive right now, and it's like it's too much. Whoa whoa whoa what is that cough? What's happening? That's just what happens in the theater group found out I had a small penis The worst thing about the worst thing about starting to make small penis jokes is you fall into the trap of it's like, now it's like

anything you say is going to sound defensive. You can never kind of bounce back. You can never be like, well, it's actually normal size. You just can't. The more you talk about it, the more it's going to be like people are just going to think, yeah, it's probably like, I don't talk about it, the more it's going to be, like, people are just going to think, like, yeah, it's probably, like, I don't know. See, when a dude makes self-deprecating small penis jokes, I don't think I then assume that

they have a small penis. What? You should. Why? Because they probably do. Spencer probably has a really small penis. But what about people, what about dudes who say they have a huge penis? Like, oh, they're tiny.

Yeah. But Spencer's probably is like this big. Yeah. And with one ball, it looks awful. Shane's going to fucking lose this episode. I've lost. I've lost. I'm going to try to make a comeback.

But. They did the round I mean you're in it the quiplash thing where they kept making up it's so fucking funny sorry y'all were so not funny that day damn

so they did quiplash damn you never said that to me ever in my life I wasn't there I wasn't in the room so how did you know I wasn't funny that day? Well, in that video. Like, no one was funny. So here's the thing. Y'all were, y'all failed at every, there was not a single good Quiplash answer in that.

Whoa! Baring out laundry! Y'all came up with, like, all these, y'all kept doing, like, themes. So, like, the themes started off like, oh, let's do, like, Smosh themed. And then y'all were failing at that. And then y'all were doing, like, okay, let's do, like, let's do a boob themed and then y'all were failing at that and then y'all were doing like okay let's do like let's do a boob themed round and y'all feel like that and then y'all started throwing up the dumbest shit ever chance like let's do an underwater quick flash thing yeah that's true we did do that and then uh i don't even remember how i oh but the

you did the round where everyone's roasting spencer and the only thing was about one was me wearing a jean jacket and the the other was me having one ball. I don't think I participated in those jokes because I respect you. Yeah, you respect me too much. But now that I know that we were so awful that day, now I know the truth. I also feel like Quiplash really is hard to play. No, we were failing super hard. And yeah, he came up with underwater and then was it schools?

Fossils. Oh yeah, fossils. What? Dude, it was bad. We were having a weird day. Guys, let's make jokes about fossils. No, like every, it was so bad. But here's the thing.

They were so funny like around the game. It's just whenever like answers would come up, it would just be dead silent. And so like the video is actually really funny once you like kind of put yourself in the mindset like, oh, I'm not laughing at the game. I'm laughing at them playing the game. I loved quiplash back in 2016 Yeah, and I think that's the last time I love quiplash enjoyed it, and I thought that I did well But apparently it was a really I did it Apparently was really bad comes out tomorrow So it's been out for a few weeks. So yeah at at this point, it's already come out and tanked. And we're never playing it again.

Damn. Little penis in my ass. This man is coming in hot. Little penis in my ass. So by the time this episode airs, it's been out for a while. I think it's probably at like 500k. That'd be sick. Yeah.

I think we've got a fun thumbnail. You're in the thumbnail. Oh, great. I'm in the thumbnail for the one that we did awful at. Yeah. Yeah, so you're the face of it. Do you have any more voicemails? Did anyone else call you?

Yeah. I think I have shit on my phone. Pretty crazy. I was going to start writing out, as a joke, I was going to write out a bunch of Smosh Games pitches. Don't, dude. We would accept all of them. I know. I know. Read your pitches.

I didn't even get to it. Okay. I wrote, like, gentlemen's don't win sniper chess. And I was like, but we're probably going to do that. You can shoot it up in the air. Wait, what did we talk about for Smosh Games? What did we talk about? We have an

idea. Oh, yeah. Five Nights at Freddy's in real life. Five Nights at Freddy's in real life. That's something we want to get. You play like a normal board game, and then you have... But then just jump scares. Jump scares. You just get jump scares. Just people jump out at you.

Yeah. Okay. So I did get this voicemail, and I kind of got scared, but I actually don't think it's for me. Let's see. Hello there. Good day to you. This is South Manhattanattan precinct calling you

homicide new york how you doing uh we're calling you to uh report crimes you guys so we found a body and uh the body belongs to a certain uh spencer agnew uh man man um he's under five feet and uh you know he's got you know cute cute little legs a lot of lots of tattoos but the only uh concerning factor is he's got this sweatshirt and this sweatshirt it smells it smells like it's been run over by a truck dipped into a sewer and uh rubbed against some of the worst people's asses i've ever i've ever known in my entire life and we just want to say that this sweatshirt it caused so much chaos in the precinct my guy my guy johnny johnny joe over there right over right outside uh you know north manhattan it said he threw up and you know when an officer throws up at a crime scene, that's another crime.

So we just want to let him know that this dead body, we can't process it. We can't touch it until we get that sweatshirt washed of all its DNA and forensics. Because honestly, we'd rather not catch the killer. We'd rather just wash that goddamn sweatshirt that that man wears every single day. All right, thank you so much. This is Officer LaGuardia. Thank you so much. Officer LaGuardia. Is that true that if an officer

throws up at the crime scene, that it's another crime? Yeah. It's a crime. They've defecated the crime scene. They've defecated the crime scene. You got it. That's crazy. So, yeah, it was pretty crazy to get, you know, a homicide New York, Brooklyn, South Manhattan precinct officer to be calling me.

I was like, whoa, my God. So I'm glad you're not wearing your sweatshirt today because I guess it was an issue. That would have been embarrassing. That would have been really bad. Could you imagine? That would have been pretty embarrassing. You know which sweatshirt I'm talking about, right? There's two.

Which one? Then you must have two identical ones. The champion one? The champion one? Well, yeah. Which champion one? The gray. Light gray.

Okay, yeah. Yeah, yeah. What's the other one? The green one. The green one. There's also the green one. I haven't seen that in a decade. Bullshit.

Bullshit on you. It's getting all ratty. Yeah, I know it's getting all ratty. You've been wearing those same two for like, since I met you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, what's going on there? Do y'all want to buy me a new one?

Can't mess with the classics. Do you need money? No. Yeah. Do you need a ride to the mall? Yeah. All right. You're big at like... Excuse me? I don't want to dox your car. Alright. You're big at going.

Excuse me? I don't want to dox your car. Don't dox my car. But my big, big escalade? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I have a big, huge escalade. It's wild. Parking is a nightmare. I'll take you to the mall, kid. Cool. Go to Aeropostale. That was pretty funny.

That was pretty good. Thanks. Almost got him. Paper mache. Paper mache. Paper mache. You know, something that I saw recently, just changing the subject so we get it less weird in here. It's not weird.

It's a little weird. All right. Someone pointed out that you look like a young George Lucas, and I have not been able to unsee it. Yeah. It really is like uncanny. Pull up a picture of George Lucas. It's like uncanny. Like really young George Lucas.

Because you don't see that too often. George Lucas. Like American graffiti George Lucas. THX. Yeah. Yeah. Look at that. Look at that look at that

is that crazy I think you look more attractive thank you him and Spielberg were back in like the 70s yeah no I think even younger than that

they were probably getting so much bush bro Jesus Christ you're out of your fucking mind you know you are wow

yeah looks like him. Kinda. He looks like you and Alex combined. Have you guys ever seen the threads of, it's like when directors put people, they put leading men in their movies and they kind of tweak them to look a little more like them. Oh yeah. It's really funny. I don't know about this.

So like you look at a... Classic. I'm trying to think of specific examples, but like you look at a classic i'm trying to think of specific examples but like uh you know directors are kind of there's no science behind it but they'll kind of do like self inserts and they'll make the leading men like they'll kind of change their hair to look more like them like the most recent example i can think of was um uh what's his face in tenant um robert pattinson uh so he kind of christopher nolan gave robert pattinson like kind of, Christopher Nolan gave Robert Pattinson kind of Christopher Nolan-esque hair.

Is this just like a theory? Oh, it's purely a theory. It's just like a, I believe it though. Can I have another example? Yeah. Oh, can you have another example? I'm trying to think of other ones.

Someone said Derek, I don't know, the guy who did Blue Valentine putting Ryan Gosling. Oh, okay. That was kind of one. Okay. Interesting.

There are other ones, and they're escaping me. Let me know in the comments. Okay. Anyways, I don't know how to add any more to that conversation. I don't know how to add to it. It sounds awesome. That sounds really cool. Yeah. I was going to say, there was something we. I don't know how to act. That sounds awesome. That sounds really cool. Yeah.

I was going to say, there was something we were talking about before we started recording that I was thinking about. You were talking about ASMR. You watched a bunch of ASMR last night. How much ASMR do you watch? Oh. Probably. You watch a lot, right?

Yeah, yeah. Wait, I love ASMR. What kind of ASMR are you into? Kind of all sorts. You know, mostly the ones, so this is gonna sound weird uh like the massage ones where people are like like they'll kind of give like the person like attention like uh like they'll like brush their hair or something simple like that interesting and i kind of put myself in their place i'm like oh what if someone's brushing my hair that's so relaxing yeah mine's the soap i love the beautiful nails holding bars of soap and cutting it, and it's like little pieces.

Or you squeeze it and it all sparkles. Interesting. That stuff doesn't do much for me. I, for the longest time, thought I didn't have any ASMR. But ASMR is like a feeling you get, right? It's like a scratching in the back of your head, like a tingling. And you a feeling you get, right? It's like a scratching in the back of your head, like a tingling. And you get like tingling, right? To me I associate

most like, you know those head scratcher things that you kind of go down like slowly? Yes. And so as you watch the video, you feel that. Very rarely, but I'm always chasing that high. Okay. But you still enjoy it even if you don't get it. Yeah, it's still, it's kind of a wind down for me. I, for the longest time, was just like, I don't get anything from ASMR.

Most ASMR stuff, I don't get anything. Like, especially the voice stuff. When they're like, they're like, okay, and now we're gonna do this. I'm like, I'm like, I don't really care. Like, sound stuff doesn't really do it for me. But I've recently come across some shit that I'm like, I watch it every time. And it's this dude, it's always a person in a barbershop

type of chair, and it's this guy who, and he's doing all sorts of Is it the Indian guy? Yeah, and he's got the two spray bottles, and he'll start, and he'll do a bunch of crazy spraying, and then he's doing all this crazy stuff, but then they're like, he's hitting him on the back of the head,

doing all sorts of... He's not doing that to the mic? No, they're like, he's hitting them on the back of the head, doing all sorts of like. He's not doing that to the mic? No, he's like, there's no mic. He's just messing with them, and then he kind of does these pinches around there, and he grabs their arm, and then he kind of does a little bit of a light chiropractic kind of thing.

He's doing a ton of shit, but there's even stuff where they're like, it's movements that aren't gonna do anything. Wait, I like that. But I'm kind of just like. You know that Bugs Bunny episode where he massages Elmer Fudd's bald head with the. Yeah, I think I missed that one.

My brain is so broken that I almost, I thought you were about to say ball sack. Yeah, dude, where he fucking sucks off Elmer's head. You came in here with the most dick energy I've ever experienced in my life. He sucks Elmer Fudd's

little penis. That's why he hunts. That's why he makes me laugh so hard. That's why he carries the big gun, dude. But anyways. What did I get myself

into today? What happened? What happened to me and my intelligence? I'm gonna calm. You guys are children. I'm gonna keep drinking this Red Bull.

Why? It's terrible. I was excited for that later. You did literally say like, oh, I hate it. It's so gross. It's so gross. Why are you drinking it then? I don't know. It's right here. You did literally say, like, oh, I hate it. It's so gross. It's so gross. Why are you drinking it then? I don't know. It's right here. You guys keep talking about sucking things off.

I know. Yes. Shane, you consistently talk about it. I said I thought he was about to say ball sack. And then it turned into. You knew what would happen. There are so many more things you can do with a ball sack than suck it, bro. Okay.

Just be normal about it. Tell me. What's happening? I don't know. It's not my, it's not the burden. Don't open this door. The burden of proof is not on me. Oh, excuse me. Why are you walking so close behind me?

Well, you're a tall guy. You throw a decent shadow when I'm walking in it to keep out of this bright sun. It hurts my eyes. Okay. Well, you know what? Specsavers, you can get two pairs of glasses from $149. And, oh, you'll like this. One can be a pair of prescription sunglasses.

Sounds great. Where's the nearest store? Not far. Come on. Let's hurry then. To my count. One, two, one, two, one, two, one. Visit specsavers.ca for details. Anyways, back to the guy.

So he's like right off the street, and I think it's like some huge Indian city in India. And yeah, he's just going to ham on these guys. You sit down, and he just kind of like, yeah, he gets you. It's crazy. There's a lot of movements that are truly insane. You look insane. I know.

I feel insane. You look insane. But like you said, he'll hit them in the back of the head over and over again. He kind of does this movement where he has his hands together. He's like, wow. It's like a lot of weird stuff.

And for some reason, I'm kind of mesmerized by it. I don't get tingles, but I... To me, it's like I almost imagine someone doing that to me. It's not like an act of imagination. I'm not like, oh, I'm sitting in the chair, but it's pleasant to watch. It's pleasant to watch.

It's kind of hard to articulate. And the only time I think, and it's been a minute, and I need to schedule one, but when doctors do the stethoscope... Exactly. I think that is when I do get, I only that I watch a lot of like, that's,

that was kind of my first experience with ASMR was kind of when the doctor, you know, he puts your, their hand on your back or your chest and it's like, take a deep breath. And for me, that was like, it's very grounding.

Yeah. Yeah. There's something about that. And there was one other ASMR video that I saw that, that did, it was the same kind of feeling of just like, oh, this is very relaxing. This lady was like – she had like a person just sitting there. And she was just like, okay, I'm going to touch you with these two devices, and you're going to tell me if it's sharp or dull. And she would just be like – she would just have like a sort of, not a needle, but just something sharp.

I had not laughed in like five minutes. You're such a piece of shit. I just kind of wanted to talk about this. You are such a piece of shit. Keep going. Sharp or dull. And then it like, I was like, that's kind of cool.

I'd be down for that. You'd be down for a sharp or dull? Just to sit there while someone... Can I do it to you here on the podcast on another time? See, I feel like... I'll figure it out. I have watched those videos. No.

I don't think I would get... I don't want you fucking touching me or coming anywhere near me. I don't think it can be someone I know. I think the idea of having it be a doctor, someone that I'm not going to talk to, I feel no obligation to, then I'm like, but with anyone here, I'd be like, this is a joke. This is silly. Do you think cows get milked? Do you think cows get ASMR when they get fucking milked? Yeah.

What is going on? You guys get off like a dirt bike and you guys are like here at my house? Hey, hey, hey, man, at my house Hey hey hey Amanda come outside Hey hey Bro I figured out jerking off the other day Hey come outside Amanda Do you think cows get fucking milked Is it sharp or dull

Fuck funny Elmer Fudd little penis That's crazy I didn't say most of those things Yeah you did Do you want to know what I really like? And this is weird because I thought I wouldn't like. No. No.

Dude, do you think you could breastfeed Elmer Fudd? Shut up. What the fuck? He's got a big baby head. Hey, get back on your dirt bike before my mom comes home and gets super fucking pissed. Whatever, your mom's hot. Hey! Oh, no, my dad hit you with his monster truck.

No, you know when... But when he got out, he's wearing shorts, so I saw your dad's penis. I need to show Amanda that vine where it's like a kid pulls up in a dirt bike and it's like, what's the scoop? And he just goes, penis, and then drives off and hits a curb. I was obsessed with Vine. Vine to me was perfect. Did you ever see that? It was so fast.

Did you ever see that, Vine? I don't know. Let me pull it up. I've seen it. But the ASMR that I like is the girls with their lip gloss. And they'll be like. Yeah, see, I don't like when girls wear makeup, so I don't watch those. Stop being this person.

I know. No, i'm sorry i took a shot at that humor yeah it didn't work hey it didn't work your dirt bike got smashed by a monster truck penis yo what's the scoop get this red bull away from me penis it's a drug i don't want it shane do you want it no have you had a kickstart yet no you know who i feel bad for the people watching this yeah me too i feel bad for them i do too i feel bad for everyone in this room fever dream yeah that is everyone in this room who has to sit and listen to you guys not me you guys i think this is just what happens when we film so much and and it's it's 5 45 5 46

what are y'all what are y'all eating for dinner oh that's a good question i have no idea i'm running out of my meal prep stuff dude i stashed i stashed a taco in the fridge whoa yeah and i put another one up my ass so i was i was gonna sneak that one out of here. That was like my favorite meme. It's like the Lin-Manuel Miranda. It's like me yelling Uno with like four cards up my ass. Have you seen it? You know what? Just your whole vibe is making me laugh because it's like it's doing something to me. I don't know what it is.

I don't know if it's bringing me back to like high school where it's like those guys who roll up and you're just like, look at this fuck. And then by the end of it, you're like, damn, he's hot. Why? What the fuck is happening right now? I don't know. I literally don't know. That's what I'm saying. I don't know what's happening right now.

And I don't understand it. Bro. Bro, no. See, I don't normally like that. But for some weird reason, you're just being you, and you're not wearing your sweatshirt. Maybe that's what it is. I did put on this almond soap stuff. I don't know if it's still—

You don't smell like almonds. Okay. It's not almonds. You smell like a wet rat. No, you smell like fucking sugar, man. I don't know what it is, Spencer. It's like very— Dude, I came to this podcast, and she was trying to fuck me the it is, Spencer. Dude, I came to this podcast and she was trying to fuck me the whole time, bro.

She was ridiculous. I can't be coming on this podcast anymore. You know what? It feels like you're someone I went to high school with. And it's a little like, you got to go. You got to go. I'm here for another 30 minutes. I fear I'm here for another 30 minutes. I fear I'm here for another 30 minutes. We booked you for way too long.

Next time with Spencer, 30 minutes, he's gotta get out of here. Well, you guys don't want me to talk for longer? I'm now picturing Spencer on those fake podcasts that end up on TikTok where it's like one dude and like 50 women that they clearly just hired to come on and say crazy shit.

I would kill on one of those. If the goal of a podcast was to just like say the most fucked up thing you can think of, unfortunately I think I would kill it. No, it's, I don't know. Because like, even right now, we think like, oh, we're saying crazy shit right now. The podcast shit that's

out there. Podcasts are like to 10 power podcasts are 90 like 90 just absolute garbage dog shit nowadays like that are just purely this no this is good this episode crazy this episode is crazy but you know what i think it's fun and it's honestly it's crazy that people watch this not in a bad way but it's like it's humbling damn no no no not like I'm saying like Smosh as a company like do you ever like sit back and it's like this is so crazy that like people actually care

yeah I do sometimes think yeah we made clay I still don't I don't think I I don't think I comprehend it I truly don't because yeah like everything this. I don't think I comprehend it. I truly don't. Because, yeah, like, everything this month, like, including, like, when Courtney and I announced, like, that we got married, I was like. You guys got married? Every time I say that.

So, actually, we're going to take this opportunity to talk all about it. All right. I have a lot of questions to ask, and I want to know every detail. Fuck. Give us the dirt. Dude, let's do all of Summer Lovin' and ask Shane about it like that. Yes!

Chills on the beach. But even that, I was like, I was like, people, why do you, I'm a little, like, I'm still blown away by that people care. Because they watch. And when they watch our content, I am sometimes like, why?

They watch you all the time. They feel, it's like when you watch your content, I am sometimes like. They watch you all the time. They feel. It's like when you watch your favorite people on your show. Like, you're like, you want to see all this content about them. Like, you want to see pictures of them on the street. Like, people.com, you know? You just want to follow them. I don't think I feel that same urge.

Like, when I watch a show, I'm just kind of like, I love what I'm watching. I don't, I'm not looking for more. I'm in the same boat, Amanda. There are times where it's like, you kind of, you kind of get, like, fixated on stuff. You get a little fixated. You're like, who are they dating now? And why did they break up? Oh, no.

He cheated? Bastard. Let's kill him. You know what I mean, Shane? Okay, I don't get that. To me, that's more, to me, it's more like, you know. You got me a little worried now. Don't be worried.

Because, guys, I have a new job opportunity. That's right. Hi, cutie babe. This is Cheryl McKee calling from People.com. I'm a People.com correspondent. Listen, we love everything that you've been doing on your Smosh Mouth podcast. We think it's excellent. Super hot goss.

We love that you've been just telling our stories and reading our stories out loud on your podcast with your friends, Shane Topp and Spencer Agnew. And we just like think you guys are amazing. You guys are so fun and cute. So babes, listen up. Some hot goss for you. Like, we would literally love nothing less. Like, I'd rather fucking die and get hit by a bus than not offer you a role in our new film.

That's some industry talk for you. As a hot gauze correspondent. So get back to me. We'd love to, like, get your side of the story about being a People.com correspondent and, like, a YouTube huge influencer. Like, it's insane that they call you the mother when, like, you're literally the fucking grandmother of it all.

You know what I'm saying? Like, no offense or anything, but, like, you're, like, older, which is, like, so fucking hot. Like, seriously, honestly. I'm 27, and it's like, I'm fucking old, too. So, give us a call back. This is so accurate.

Dude, Sabrina Breyer called. She wants her bit back. Can I give it to you in person? I don't need it. Oh, I thought that would hit harder. Dunk. What a bitch. Yeah. Can I leave?

I haven't mentioned this but I told you this earlier today about how people.com did reach out to Courtney and was like can we get a quote about this whole thing and we were like oh include Amanda in this quote so that her name can end up in people.com and we were like by the way our friend Amanda is a huge fan can we include Amanda in this quote so that her name can end up in people.com. And we were like,

by the way, our friend Amanda is a huge fan. Can we include her in this quote? And they fucking didn't. And I was so mad. I was so mad. I was really pissed. I was genuinely really pissed. No, they did not. They didn't include you. Why didn't they? Exactly. You need to ask people.com.

How am I supposed to ask them? I'm like, we made a fucking episode. Coldlikepeople.com. Yeah am I supposed to ask them? I'm like, we made a fucking episode. Cold like people.com. Yeah, call them. Yeah, call them. Call them. Honestly, people.com should include this. I can't believe that they didn't use my name.

Let's start a beef with people.com, and then maybe people.com will include us and be like, people.com called out by a podcast. Literally, you guys got married, and they didn't use my name. That's so messed up. I am a part of your guys' wedding. you guys got married and they didn't use my name that's so messed up i am a part of your guys you also got married first i did get married and included it and i got married at a place that is very familiar to you yeah yeah jane's house? Yeah, my house. No, we got married at the same place. Nobody is... Maybe by the time this podcast comes out people have figured it out. Nobody had figured... Nobody's figured it out by the time

we're recording it, which is crazy to me. Where y'all got married? Me? Yeah, we got... We got married at the same place. Yeah, and you... Wait, no, because I'm pretty sure I saw someone on Twitter figure it out. Did they? Nope. I've not seen it. Nope. Not many people. No. Not many people have figured it out. Wait, no, because I'm pretty sure I saw someone on Twitter figure it out. Did they? Nope, I've not seen it. Nope.

Not many people have figured it out. No. Not many people have figured it out. Wait, can I say where it is and we cut it out? Yeah. People know it. Santa Barbara Courthouse? Yeah. Yeah, no, I saw someone, like, some fucking freak, like, highlight the picture and did

a reverse Google Images or something like that. I don't think it's that hard. No, it's not, but it's just, like, it's funny that they did that. Yeah. Like, find it. No, people, yeah. But it's just like, it's funny that they did that. Yeah. Like, find it. No, people, yeah. No, people be trying to find our locations. And that shit, that's the shit I hate.

Yeah. I do hate that. But I was like, when fans find out that, because part of the reason we picked that place was because you'd gone there and you're like, it's beautiful. And I loved it. It was such an amazing place.

So easy. You get to like walk around the grounds. Gorgeous, too. Like, perfect. It was such an amazing place. So easy. You get to walk around the grounds. Gorgeous, too. Like perfect. Like your suit was brown. It was like it matches everything. We have such parallel lives. I've also been to a Dunkin' Donuts.

Yeah. Have you worked in the back where you have to go in the freezer and take out the egg that's already cracked? And it's like flattened and that's what they use for the egg and cheeses. Have you done that? Have you been a sandwich maker? No. At Dunkin' Donuts? No.

But I do know what it's like to work in really fucked up places. Yeah. I worked at Nick on Sunset. Let's talk about that. The sincerity in your voice. Let's talk about that you you have i i i did i did a couple guest stars there so i really only worked a total of like 10 days there so which i at the time and you really been milking that like elmer fudd truly yeah no that one guest star really became my whole brand for a while

no i was actually in hindsight i'm very lucky that i did not ever work more there yeah i like actually because you went in and were like great and then left yeah and i mean like for i carly my mom was there the whole week it was nothing it was very brief um same with Sam and Cat super brief uh Henry Danger yeah brief but like I was 23 by that point or 22 I forget but no I'm I remember I remember when I was a teenager being like bummed that I wasn't like didn't book a regular on any of those shows like I knew because I knew so many how could you not be yeah no I knew I knew a ton of people who were on Zoey 101 and I obviously knew like Jeanette and and everyone and I was so I people. How could you not be? Yeah, no, I knew a ton of people who were on Zoey 101. And I obviously knew, like, Jeanette and everyone. But I was just like, damn, like, they made it.

They're living the life that I dream of. And I look back and I'm just like, wow, they were all living, like, nightmare lives. I feel so bad for all of them, pretty much. So, no. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, way to bring it bring it down on this

Try Not To Laugh episode join us next time when we really dig in deep Try Not To Laugh Sheen finally talks about his Nickelodeon experience

yeah god but I'm very lucky it was just brief little guest star spots thank god

yeah it was nothing for me well I watched all that and The Amanda Show was my favorite show ever

best and that's literally why I wanted to be a comedian because I watched all that, and The Amanda Show was my favorite show ever. Best. And that's literally why I wanted to be a comedian, because I watched those shows. How's your little juice box? It's pretty fucking good, dude. Oh, you have to pee so bad, huh? No, not at all. Piss yourself right now. How much money would it take for y'all to get me to piss myself?

Okay. I guess that's, yeah, realistically. Where am I? Realistically. Does the dirt bikers just show up again? They're like, hey, bitch, we're back. Okay, how much would it take? No, this is going to be weird fetish content.

You know what? I don't care. How much would it take right now for you to piss your pants? No, that's weird. Guys, I'm not going to be pissing any of my pants. I'm a professional. Let's keep it on me. Okay, let's keep it on me.

Because if you did piss your pants here and now on this podcast. Like how much it would this, we would definitely market this episode, not as a try not to laugh, but as Spencer pisses himself. Someone, how about you keep it a mystery, like someone pisses their pants.

Someone truly pisses their pants on this episode. I think there's a lot of wires underneath you. You would piss yourself and then you'd die. You'd be like Marv from Home Alone. Yeah, your hair would be all crazy. Hairy. Would you do it for $100? God, no.

Okay. Would you do it for $1,000? No. This is your money, right, Shane? No, no, no. Just like a general amount of money. General amount of money. Like what would it say?

How much money to piss yourself right here? I'm going to say probably 15. No. No. $20,000. It would need to be a lot of money because it's on camera. Yeah. It would be remembered.

That'd be humiliating. It'd be remembered forever. That would be, like, your legacy. The pisser. Regardless of how April has been, that would be what people remember. I think pissing your pants is fine. No, people would fully forget that I'm married.

They'd be like, that's the guy who pissed himself. That's all people would be talking about for the rest of this year. He can't piss himself because he will literally, there's wires, so many wires below him.

I don't know if that's how wires work. Spencer? I want to hug You know, they have a candy coating on them to protect them. Yeah. True and yeah. Do you know that you can use Twizzlers as wires? Yeah, they're conductive. There's a part in

Five Nights at Freddy's, I was telling Amanda this, where she gets jump scared and she goes... I remember that part. I remember that part. It's like a cartoon character. Wait! We have to... You have to show Shane what you sent me about what I look like in Five Nights at Freddy's. Oh, it's so funny. I saw it on

Reddit, I think. You didn't just come up with that on your own? No, I didn't come up with that on my own. It's out there? It's out there, bro! Yeah. Wow. Could I get... A guy with a fedora made that. Okay. That's your bread and butter, bro. I know.

No, I insulted a lot, but I'm on it a lot. Yep. That was on Reddit. I saw that on the Smosh Reddit. Well, that sucks. Who is that? That's Baby Grinch. That's Baby Grinch.

That's when he eats the plate. Cool. Yeah. That's Grogu. That's funny. Thank you. Yeah, I felt good about that one, but it didn't hit. Guys, I haven't really laughed a lot.

You haven't? Yeah, because your dirt bikes are getting old. No, this has been insane. This took a turn very early on. I have had half a Red Bull, though. What do you think the longest y'all have ever sat in silence on this podcast is? What's the longest gap between someone saying something and then just an empty space? I think this episode definitely holds all the records.

Like, at least five of them. Do you want to break it right now? This is like the Usain Bolt of silence. I don't want to be silent, because what if someone's driving and they want to listen to this podcast? Have y'all ever been jump-sca scared by music in a song? Oh my God, yeah. I've just been jump scared when I get... Oh, that was passionate. I get jump scared sometimes. Do you know when you get in your car

and the volume's on too high and you forgot? Oh yeah. And you're just blasted with shit? Or like your phone's Bluetooth connects and just starts playing? Do you know what used to happen to me? Is my phone would connect to voice memos I would get from old directors. I think I told you this.

And it was their notes from sketches. So I would get in, turn on my car and be like, alright Amanda, so yeah, the character's not working. We need to figure out. And it would immediately play when I got into my car. And it was a nightmare. We should give notes on games videos like that. What? We should give notes on games

videos like that. Like when y'all leave the set, I'm like, you know what? That quiplash round was rough. You just did it. Yeah, I know. You did it. You did it later, though, which is worse. You did it in person. Well, see, I wasn't in the room for it.

I would have stopped y'all. I would have stopped down and be like, you know what? This has gone too far. You're out of here. You're off the team. Spencer, what's crazy is you're like the kindest person ever. Thank you. I don't know who this man is.

Like, who are you? Yeah, you turned into a podcast, Spencer. This is a whole different beast right here. Do you guys want to know what's going on with people.com right now? Sure. Let's hear it. Other than Shane and Courtney's wedding. Okay.

Fake news. That was crazy. Fake news. Fake news. If at the end of that article it just says, psych! Gypsy Rose Blanchard reveals she's getting cosmetic surgery. Wish me luck.

She broke up with her husband. Gypsy Rose Blanchard. This is month old news. And then she got tattoos. The dick is fire, but who cares? Didn't she get matching tattoos with her ex? That's what I heard. I heard that on TikTok.

It's probably wrong. Did you guys see the, like the, the discourse? It was like, yeah, but like, think of how nice she set up her, her, her now ex, her husband, her former husband. Cause it's like, you know, she's like, oh, like she's talking like the dick is fire. And then she, and then she dumps him. Yeah. So now you got this, this, this, this free agent with free agent with a dick that's fire, with a fire penis.

I wish we could tell him how many times you've said penis. I think I've been saying dick a lot. No, small penis. Oh, he's been saying small penis. Here's another one. Baby born with organs outside of body is thriving after being wrapped in cling film. Wait, what? What? Why is people. Wait, what? What?

Why is people.com like this? That's insane. That's not the type of news I expect from people.com. Oh, they... I expect shit about, like, Kelly Ripa. Kelly Ripa's not on here, barely. Well, Cole Sprouse said that he models his relationship after Kelly Ripa.

What does that mean? Oh, God. I do not know. Oh, God. Oh, God. Okay. Gold. Oh, Oh, God. Oh, God. Okay. Gold. Oh, dear. Gold. Oh, dear. Gold. Gene Simmons considers

Kiss catalog sale a natural thing out of respect and love for the fans. Who cares? Tori Spelling got divorced. She calls Flava Flav her new boyfriend and kisses his cheek days after filing for divorce. Remember Flava Flav her new boyfriend and kisses his cheek days after filing for divorce. Remember Flava Flav?

Yes. Don't talk to me like that. I don't think I realized. Never mind. What were you going to say, man? I didn't know Flava Flav was still alive. Oh, he's alive and thriving. I saw him once.

Really? I saw him at the Burbank airport. Whoa. What was he doing there? He had zero luggage, walking down the terminal with his huge clock around his neck. Oh, he had the clock on.

He had the clock on. Didn't know you could fly with those. No luggage. Just walking. I think he opens up the clock and then it's like he's got an infinite amount of space. Like Mary Poppins' bed.

Yeah. Wow. Woman sparks debate over friend's insane wedding registry, which includes 15 airline gift cards. Oh. That's it? That's it? Yep. Okay.

Just reading the headlines. Shut your mouth. So you read this every day? Every day. You read all of it? That's it? Yep. Okay. Just reading the headlines. Shut your mouth. So you read this every day? Every day. You read all of it? Is there any section of people.com that you skip? The royals. I'm over it.

You don't care? I don't care anymore. Yeah, because we got a new royal family. We figured it out. It's sad. Oh, yeah. We have a new royal family to follow. Okay.

Okay. Shortney. For those of you at home, I looked at Shane and I kind of went. Yeah, he did like a wink. The Masked Singer showed Cisco he could market me without talking about the thong song, he says. What other songs does Cisco have? Yeah, name three of his songs. Literally nothing.

Nothing. You know that counts as a laugh against you? Yeah, if you make yourself laugh, it counts. I think Spencer's won this. I don't think so. You think you're winning? Yeah. Why do you think that? Because I'm not talking about little penises all the time.

Like you guys. Why am I getting dragged into this? Because of my little penis? I knew it. That was the whole point of this. Yeah, we got you. So you can admit that. We got you, motherfucker. We got your ass.

We got it on camera. We got your ass. Look over there. Look over there. Look over there. Look over there. Look over there. Look over there.

There's a camera right on my penis. Oh. Imagine an intervention where everyone's just like, we just need to talk to you about your little penis. Was it Jackass 2 or 3 where they, he has the, it's probably the dumbest prank they've ever done where they have the little camera next to his penis

and he just goes and he just pees on the other guy. I don't remember that part. That's the type of shit that happened in the beginning. I remember when it was like Godzilla in City. Oh, with the snake? Yep, that was the intro to it. I watched all of Jackass. I love Jackass,

but you know what still fucks me up is when Steve-O is in a porter potty and they flip him upside down. Oh yeah, just shit everywhere. And it's awful. No, it's insane.

It's insane. Also, Jackass Forever came out like in a time when it's like, you should, I can't believe they're getting away with doing this stuff, but they kind of got grandfathered into it. but it's weird to see that type of stuff

like it's it's crazy it's it's like its own little i think jackass like i this is um i think jackass did a lot for me at least growing up to kind of take things less seriously, I guess, or not be scared of embarrassing yourself. Because to me, they were some of the coolest guys ever. I don't know if they're a great role model. Bless you. No, but they were. But they were so cool, and they were not afraid

of looking so fucking stupid. Amanda has died. Yeah. No, I know what you're talking about. They were, honestly, for a lot of dudes, especially growing up in Arizona, every dude was in love with, with all of them. Yeah. That was like the dream.

That was the dream? I'm not kidding. That was actually the dream. All their teeth are knocked out. For a lot of dudes, for a lot of dudes being on Jackass was like, that was all they wanted in life. Absolutely. What?

And I can't, you know what's crazy? When, when people go like oh young kids nowadays they all want to be youtubers they all want to be tiktokers they want to be like mr beast i'm like yeah and like every when i was young every dude wanted to be on jackass like we're not we're not in the day it's we're not different i didn't know every guy wanted to be on jackass not every guy but like a lot like in middle school? My friend groups, absolutely. Well, that makes sense. If your friend circle is not talking about jackass, trying to be on jackass, or watching jackass, you need to find a new friend group. Yeah.

Okay, any dude in the comments who's 30 or over, tell me that in middle school, either you or you just at least knew a lot of dudes who were obsessed with jackass and wished they could be on jackass. It was why they had to put that warning out all the time because people were constantly replicating shit. I got scared because it was bones. Write one down for Brennan. You got Brennan. You got Brennan with that one. Remember the new guy that jumped in the jackass?

He was auditioning for it and he was like nuts yeah i didn't like anyone knew that the guy who had like no teeth he was crazy i always tried to be accepting of the new people well that's nice yeah not me man i'm always i have a i have a soft spot for any new cast member to any any show i feel like you're gonna leave this podcast and jump on your fucking dirt bike in this room and be like, I'll see you guys later. Hey, clean up my drinks and then just fucking buzz off. Dare I say,

Spencer, you do have motorcycle energy. A little bit. That's crazy. No, no, no. I said dirt bike, not motorcycle. You're like in Fortnite. Yeah. What is with Fortnite? What's going on? Everyone wants me to discuss Fortnite. We all get it.

It's like there are creatures storming a castle. That's what the video game is. Yeah, we had a whole thing. What was it? I don't know. What's Fortnite? Tell me about Fortnite. So Fortnite, the mode everyone plays is so you choose your guy,

and there's so many different people you can choose. Yeah. Name a character in a movie, like a franchise movie. She's going to name something insane. She will name something insane, but let's see what she says. Jack Reacher. I don't know. Okay, surprisingly, Jack Reacher not in it, but you're not far off.

That actually wasn't that. Wait, what's the Mission Impossible guy's name? Ethan Hunt. Ethan Hunt. Ethan Hunt is one of my actual dream characters for that game. He's not in it yet. Okay, we'll go with Julie. Wait, what's the Mission Impossible guy's name? Ethan Hunt. Ethan Hunt. Ethan Hunt is one of my actual dream characters for that game. He's not in it yet. Okay, we'll go until... Wait a second. This sounds actually amazing. Let's go until you name a character that's important. Yeah, yes. Okay.

Because truly, to not get in three is actually impossible. Yeah, that would be crazy. So we'll count that as one guess. So you get two more. Ned Stark. Ned Stark is not be crazy. So we'll count that as one guess. So you get two more. Ned Stark. Ned Stark is not. Okay, well this game sucks.

I think Jon Snow. Jon Snow. I think Jon Snow might be in it. Jon Snow. I think, I think, I think what's-her-face in it? Daenerys Targaryen. I don't know if Daenerys is in it. I think...

Frodo. Is Frodo in it? Frodo's not in it. Dumbledore. Dumbledore's not in it. Harry Potter. Sauron. Damn.

Not sure. Should be. Okay. Well, this game sucks. Wow. You are... You're naming good IPs. You're...

I thought they did do... I think people from those movies are in it. Raymond from Everyone Loves Raymond. That would be funny. That would actually be so funny. Let me get in this game. Let me get in this game. Let me figure out this game.

You got this. You got this. Land that plane. America's Funniest Home Videos with Bob Saget. Bob Saget? Yeah.

No, Bob Saget is not a playable game. It took over. What was the guy's name? Yeah, I forget his name. I liked him way more. What? Whoa.

The gray guy? He was fine. He was a little too, like, nice. Mario Lopez. Mario Lopez is not important. No, I don't think any iteration of- What are we discussing? I just keep naming-

Name a character that's important. Or a celebrity. There are some celebrities in it. Lois. Yeah, no. Close. Stewie. Yeah, no. Close. Stewie. No.

Okay. Ariel from The Little Mermaid? Fuck. No, they don't have any Disney. You gotta be able to have legs. I guess Ariel does. Hey! Hey!

She sold her soul to the witch to get legs, bitch. Okay, but you're not gonna have Ariel with legs. That's weird. Yeah, that's gross. Running around. Wow. You guys are disgusting. you guys are people are actual nightmares um in the storm lead of Bob's burgers Rick and Morty yeah

there you go hey finally finally you can play as okay so anyways regrets Tommy pickles no you're done it's 2020 come on so basically you choose like one of those characters so it could be be someone from Star Wars, like someone from... Luke Skywalker. Luke Skywalker, yeah. Han Solo. It could be Han Solo.

Oh, that's fun. It could be Peter Griffin. You could be Peter Griffin. You named all the other characters. I'm trying to think of... You could be Spider-Man. You could be all these people. John Wick.

Which Spider-Man? Tom Holland. Okay. Yeah, you could be Zendaya from Dune. Nah. Shani. No, she was great. Anyways, then there's a big island and you all get on this bus

and the bus flies over the island. Why would it get on a ship? It's a flying bus. And it drops you into the island. And you choose when you want to jump off the bus. And then so you land somewhere random on the island, and it's the last person alive wins that game of Fortnite. Yeah.

100 people hop in. 100 people did. 100 people of random, there are other players in there? Yeah, 100 other players. So you get dropped on an island, and you have to what, survive or fight them?

Yeah. There's all sorts of weapons and power-ups and all sorts of weird shit. Shane's fucking mom's calling. My mom's calling. I don't know what she's doing. She's like, honey, you got married? Okay. Okay, wait a second.

Wait a second. I want to play. So you get dropped on an island and then you have to like find fucking treasure? You find weapons, you kill people. Treasure, yeah. Wait, that's the whole game? Survive and then if you're the last person you get a victory or a round. So that's what I do with Alex

and Bailey. And Trevor. And Mallory. Yeah. We'll go. Everyone here plays it. You can be on a squad so you can do like, it'll be teams of four and the last four people alive, like the last team alive wins

What do you get when you win a crown? That's it you get a crime. What do you want? What do you want bus? I don't know a house Property what the like in the game? Will you get XP and the XP levels you up and then you can unlock more people to play as or dances or like dances There's so much dances. So when you dance, what does that do for you? Does that like... It's fun. It's a show off.

It's fun. So when you show off, does that kill a person? No. Okay. Why would you show off IRL? What? Why would I show off...

Why do you dance in real life? Yeah, to express yourself. Yeah, of course, but that's real life. Fortnite is a reflection of real life. So you can dance on the island and people are just like, oh, cool. And then they try to kill you? Yeah.

Or you can dance with your teammates. So there's this one thing. It's called the... Oh, it's called Flowberry Fizz. And it's like this wine thing. Did Trevor explain this on the podcast? No. So it's Flowberry Fizz. And it's basically this big thing. It's like this big

kind of wine thing. And of it's this healing potion. And the way you do it is you shake it, and then you spray it everywhere, like a champagne bottle. And that's when you dance. And that's when you dance. So, like, Alex and I will be playing, and he'll be like, oh, like, emote for me. And so he'll shake it and start spraying it everywhere, and then he has to, like, do your Fortnite dance, like, to get the juice. How is he talking? Got it.

How is he talking to you? Oh, you play on your headset. So you're talking to each other the whole time. Do you have to talk like Ethan Hart? Like your character? No, you can.

You could do some Fortnite RP. I want to play. Yeah, we'll play it sometime. No, no, no. No, no. I want to play now. No, we're not playing it right now. I want to play.

I want to play right now. It's after hours and actually everyone in this building is here because we're still recording this. I want to play right now. No. We cannot play right now. It's after hours, and actually everyone in this building is here because we're still recording this. I want to play right now. No, we cannot play right now. Fine.

We about to laugh? I want to play right now. He kept it in. All right, I think we got to stop this. Okay, who won? I think nobody won, but let's hear the tally. You're just saying that because you laughed. Brandon won. He only laughed once. Yeah. Okay, who won? I think nobody won, but let's hear the tally. You're just saying that because you lost. Guys, Brennan won.

He only laughed once. Yeah. Okay, ready? Brennan's a sucker. Okay, let's hear it. Okay, Shane laughed 32 times. Okay. That felt like way longer.

Spencer laughed 17 times. Jesus Christ. And Amanda laughed 22 times. No way. So Spencer wins. So Spencer, you get to just continue to do your job. Yeah. We don't have to.

Stakes are high. We don't have to come up with the creative for a live stream. That's so funny. You should have laughed. That's really funny. All you had to do was laugh and have a good time. But he couldn't. He turned into my old crush.

You got to sit there and drink all your beverages. I don't know. This was weird. Was it? Because it made me feel like I was 16 again. And yeah, I guess that was weird. That was weird. That was a weird time.

That was really funny. I really liked it. Anyways, we're sorry. We're not sorry. I am. Well, yeah, you should be. Okay. And you should be.

But I feel fantastic. All right. Well, bless you. Bless you, Amanda. Pardon you. And, man, we'll see you next time. That's kind of... Guys, this is really fun, though.

This is, like, I know we didn't have a lot planned, but like, it's so fun hanging out with you guys. It was a, it's been a really busy week. It's been a busy week and it's, this was fun. I needed this, guys. I had a great time and I had so many more voicemails. Did you really? For next time, yeah. Wow, alright, see you later.

Bye. Smosh mouth, smosh, smosh mouth. Smiley, smosh, smosh.