Smosh Mouth - #53 - Reading More Weird Subreddits

Episode Date: July 8, 2024

Shayne and Amanda delve into some more Subreddits, this time with Arasha! Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to https://RocketMoney.com/SMOSHMOUTH 0:00-5:47 Intro 5:48-11:06 Growing up with the internet 11:07-41:40 Starting off tame 41:41-1:11:15 Getting into the weirder stuff SUBSCRIBE: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshCast WEAR OUR JOKES: https://smosh.com  WHO YOU HEAR Shayne Topp // https://www.instagram.com/shaynetopp/ Amanda Lehan-Canto // https://www.instagram.com/filmingamanda/ Arasha Lalani // https://www.instagram.com/arashalalani_/ WHO YOU DON’T HEAR (usually) Director: Selina Garcia Editor: Josh Fleury Producer: Amanda Lehan-Canto, Shayne Topp, Selina Garcia Production Designer: Cassie Vance Art Director: Erin Kuschner Art Coordinator: Alex Aguilar, Josie Bellerby Audio Mixer: Scott Neff Director of Photography: Brennan Iketani Videographer: James Hull Assistant Director: Alexcina Figueroa Director of Production: Amanda Barnes Production Manager: Alexcina Figueroa Production Coordinator: Marcus Munguia, Zianne Hoover Operations & Production Coordinator: Oliver Wehlander Production Assistant: Ovsana Tsaturian Post Production Manager: Luke Baker DIT/Lead AE: Matt Duran IT: Tim Baker Director of Design: Brittany Hobbs Graphic Designers: Ness Cardano, Monica Ravitch Senior Manager, Channel & Strategy: Lizzy Jones Channel Operations Coordinator: Audrey Carganilla Director of Social Media: Erica Noboa Social Creative Producer: Peter Ditzler, Tommy Bowe Social Strategist: Mallory Myers Social Media Coordinator: Kim Wilborn Talent Coordinator: Selina Garcia Operations PA: Katie Fink CEO: Alessandra Catanese EVP of Programming: Kiana Parker Executive Coordinator: Rachel Collis OTHER SMOSHES: Smosh: https://smo.sh/Sub2Smosh Smosh Pit: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshPit Smosh Games: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshGames El Smosh (Spanish Dub): https://smo.sh/Sub2ElSmosh FOLLOW US: TikTok: https://smo.sh/TikTok Snapchat: http://smo.sh/OnSnapchat Instagram: https://instagram.com/smosh Facebook: https://facebook.com/smosh Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Get 25% off at ritual.com slash clinical. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Hey, welcome to Smosh Mouth. I'm Shane. Hey, welcome to Smosh Mouth. I'm Amanda. We have a very special guest, Arash and Leilani. Hey. Yes. And this is the vibe. What's up? This is the vibe because we are so cool. We're reading Reddit. Yeah, is the vibe. This is what's up. This is the vibe because we are so cool. We're reading Reddit.

Yeah, we're cool. That's right. This is part two of exploring Reddit. We did it a while ago with Olivia, and it was a great time. Yeah, it was. Explored some really weird shit. It was. The mirrors.

The mirrors. I still can't get over that. What does that mean? Mirrors for sale is a subreddit where it's photos from like Facebook marketplace where people are selling mirrors. But in the process of taking a photo of their mirror, they also reveal everything in there. They're often wearing like just their underwear or something. Oh, no. It's like, hey, mirror for sale.

And then they just don't check. They want to like sell the mirror. So they just take it and then they're like, hey, mirror for sale, and then capture a lot of shit. They just don't check. They want to sell the mirror, so they just take it, and then they're like, all right. But it's a great example of how specific subreddits get. But that has to be intentional, right? No. They don't realize that they're in the photo. They're not thinking. Yeah.

That's what makes Reddit so great. And I am a Reddit master at this point. A Redditor. What I love is that Amanda despite not using it or knowing maybe a ton of it, I think you know a lot about it through me now. I actually go to it a lot now. Wow. I'm not kidding.

Mainly for podcasts but I'll ask it weird questions. I'm like why does this teapot thing do this? Or I'm like best teapot for this and Reddit always pops up and I'm like best best teapot for this and reddit always pops up and I'm like reddit's there for like your very very specific questions

if you have a general question you google it and you're probably going to get an answer from some real professional site but if it's like if you're missing like a very specific part to like an appliance you have or if like you're having a very specific issue with a specific thing,

you add Reddit to the end of your search and there's a Redditor who like five years ago had the same exact specific issue as you. Right. And solved it. I just feel like I always discount it when it's been like over like two weeks. What do you mean?

Like if I see that the post was made like two years ago, I'm like, no, times were different. Really? No, seven years ago, this toaster was a different thing. You had a different problem. They don't know. But if they made the post a week ago, I'm like, these are my people. I don't even look.

It could be from 2000. I'm like, oh, so I need that part. I can't even fucking look. Things are different now. You can't be doing that. It is funny when it's like dating advice and you see it's a post from like 10 years ago and it's like, I don't look up that.

What? You don't need dating advice? Not on Reddit. I used to. I used to all the time. Whoa. I was single and like younger. Oh yeah,

you're Googling stuff all the time. I think young dudes are constantly. On Reddit for dating advice? Just the internet. Just the internet. You're Googling stuff all the time. I think young dudes are constantly. On Reddit for dating advice? Just the internet. Just the internet. You're just searching up things like, what should you say on a first date? What should you do here or there? Because I don't know.

Now we know. But now I'm grateful that that was a time when it was kind of a little more sparse. Because now you have a bunch of grifters, a bunch of dudes selling a bunch of horrible ideas. No, I think actually I did that too. I did research. You looked up like grifters and dudes selling horrible ideas? No, you're just saying research on just dating? I remember when I was a kid.

I don't know why I'm admitting to this on a random Thursday morning. But I remember searching up when I was in middle school, I searched how to kiss. I was just going to kind of say that in a way of poking fun. I don't think that's that weird. We have the internet that has all of knowledge in it and it connects all the world.

It's like, ask it any question you want. No, but it feels weird now thinking about it. I still remember I watched a video, and it was two people. You watched a video? Yeah, it was on a site called Pornhub. Okay, okay. Whoa, they have kissing on Pornhub? No, no kissing on Pornhub.

I feel like, wait for Bridgerton. They never kissed. It sucked. They did not help me out. They didn't kiss. They showed me how to do everything else. I was going to say. All right.

But did you seriously look up kissing? Oh, I for real did. And what did they say? There was a. You get the wiki how. There was a wiki how, but there was a woman and she was like, hi, I'm going to teach you like how to kiss. And there was like a man who was there and he was a part of the video, but he was like, you know,

just kind of pretending to like just exist for the sake of the content. And then she would be like, you know, she also like introduced like flirting as well. You know, she just was like, I miss my calling. This sounds awesome. No, it's great. And you know, she just was like, you know, look at, look at his lips first, you know?

And he's like, yeah, yeah. And he was like kind of into it. And I you know, she just was like, you know, look at his lips first. And he's like. Yeah, yeah. And he was like kind of into it. And I, you know, I was like, I got to take notes. That is so funny. This seems like a recent search. Okay. It was a week ago. Okay.

Yeah. I was looking it up. I needed to know. That's so funny. Send it to me just because, like, I just want to see what's out there. I'll share it with you. I'll share it with you. I'll share it with you. Okay.

We could do like a parody. I'm surprised you haven't searched this because you've admitted that you look up YouTube compilations of kisses. Oh, yeah. But there's not like how-to. No. They're already there. It's, you know, series regulars who finally kiss. Right.

Best moment ever. Oh, you're just looking up people kissing on TV? Yeah, but I want to see it all at once, so I look up compilations. Oh, no. I've been there. I've been there. But when I was younger as well. Yeah.

I feel like I'm kind of off to a 40 kid right now. No, I was too. Yeah, we're- Everything's fine. Yeah. Being a teenager and having the internet, crazy combo. Yeah. It's normal.

Crazy combo. Crazy. It's normal to explore. Did you guys- Okay, you guys might not know, but I actually, I had the computer, too. I had a desktop.

Yeah. As a kid. Okay. How young were you when you had your own desktop? Because, see, this is where I'm very millennial where I didn't have my own computer until I was like 15. Same. Sure. Oh, even older for me. Yeah. I think... And I got it because I was like 15. Sure. Oh, even older for me. I think. And I got it because I was in online school.

Oh. So that's how I got it. I got a free computer because I was. I got one when I went to college. Yeah. But there was one computer and it was the family computer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly.

No, we had the family computer. I don't really think I had my own desktop until I was also. Well, I had my laptop as well. Yeah. In high school. And before that. Whoa. Yeah. Is that crazy? Yeah. Yeah. really think I had my own desktop until I was also well I had my laptop as well yeah in high school and before that yeah is that crazy yeah yeah me I never had I didn't have a laptop in high school I mean I really was only using it like toward the end for like college applications and stuff like that yeah before that it was like the family computer and that's what I was like you

know playing sims on or like when I was searching kissing videos, I had the blanket over me, over the computer. So then the parents wouldn't come and be like, she's a freak. If I was a teenager now, having a computer's not as necessary because your phone does so much. Back when I was a teenager,

you could only communicate with your friends on your computer. Yeah, I am. Yeah, so you needed to get on the computer. Did you ever have a ding on your favorite person so whenever they got on AIM, you knew? Oh, all the time. I don't know. I can't remember.

I talked a lot on AIM. I was talking to people all the time. Think about the parents who were like, I have to get on there. You have to fight over one computer. I think for me me it was mostly like facebook messenger i i had i had aim when i was really younger but like but then it like quickly shifted to facebook oh yeah facebook messenger was great and then i deactivated my

old facebook because i was so embarrassed at all the shit i put on there and i would do anything to get that content now i couldn't't agree with you more. I posted so many photos on my Facebook. I was like, what am I doing? Right. I'm literally, like, drinking a beer. Like, I'm just, like, in Spain, or it's, like, me and my friend talking. It's the worst picture of us.

Right, right. And I'm, like, posting. I'm like, family. And I'm like, what did I do? Oh, yeah, and just, just like writing a post for everything it's gone i it's out there it's got those photos are there only i can see them though yeah you can save them to your phone and stuff i can save them i i used facebook so much and then stopped when it just kind of went to shit yeah it got lame quick it's really weird it got boomer

it was so weird because i was a teenager when it was like only for college kids and then it like became for everyone and then it became for old people and it was the trippiest shit ever that was that was a pretty distinct shift which was crazy i i remember my friend and i when i was in sixth or seventh grade we did like a web show on Facebook. Really? Yeah. It was called Live, Laugh, Love. Oh no. Oh yeah. No. And it was spelled like L-I-V. Unironic. L-A-F-F

L-U-V. Holy shit. You somehow made it cringier. No. No, we made it so much worse. We were like, this is already so bad. Let's make it worse. How can we make this worse? This is already so bad. Let's make it worse. What did you guys talk about? Okay, so here's the funny part.

It was when I had my left ankle. I fractured when I was a kid, so I was in this neon green cast. That's awesome. So we were both in my bedroom, and we were definitely inspired by iCarly obviously hey you were on iCarly so this is kind of a dream come true to come on this pod yeah with the guy who had like five lines on an episode of iCarly we we loved it and we were like we can do that let's start our own web show so we

would like go in there and we'd be like random dancing and we thought we were like so cool yeah literally they're just like making our own content but then after like four or five episodes i was like this is fucking stupid and i deleted my facebook wow and all of that just like disappeared with it what did your friend did she have any say uh yeah i mean she she was also like no yeah this. We actually, we were just messaging the other day, and she was like, she was like, you remember when we had our show? And I was like, I've been looking for the footage. If we can find that footage. If somebody knows how to get into an old Facebook account.

You should revive it. You should sell it to Netflix. Live, laugh, love. Guys, hear me out. Live, laugh, love. Coming to Netflix. Listen, the way that it's spelled was quite original. I mean, laugh, love. You think I get picked up? Guys, hear me out. Live, laugh, love. Coming to Netflix. Listen, the way that it's spelled was quite original. I mean, honestly, yeah.

Yeah, isn't laugh like a LA film festival? Well, there you go. You got your in. Whoa. Arasha, this is your big break. You just didn't realize it. Wait, you guys. I actually am going to go on a deep dive later and try to find it.

I think you should because I'd love to see the first episode I'll come back and then we'll watch it we'll be the biggest fans alright if you promise well not make promises Shane do we want to hop into some reddit yes

let's get weird on the internet me on a first date you want to hop in some Reddit? No. Shane looked up advice. He's like, okay, best thing to do. Look up Reddit with your person. Listen, we can find the How to Kiss video.

Yeah. Let's find it. Let's watch that in our cars on our own time. We can find it and screen it. No, we have to do it together. Okay. Okay, so admittedly, I was searching through a bunch of Reddit stuff yesterday. There's a couple weird subreddits, but a lot of these are kind of normal ones that I just wanted to share with you guys.

These are ones that end up on my feed a lot. This first one is very popular. It's Ask Reddit, and it's where people ask general questions to Reddit. A lot of times, they're kind of the same questions over and over again. A lot of like very cynical stuff of just like, what do people think about the future? Like what are people, how are people getting by nowadays?

You know, it's always sad. It's like, yeah, it's bad. But then really specific questions get asked and then really specific answers are given. And that's always awesome. This first one I found,

people who went to a wedding where the couple didn't last long, what happened? And it's like, great question. And someone responded, witnessed by my parents, not me. During the wedding reception, someone asked the bride and groom

when they were going to have kids. They had been dating for eight years before getting married. So everyone assumed they were going to have kids immediately after getting married. The groom loudly said, oh, man, I'm never having kids. The bride burst into tears and had to go to the restroom. They lasted about a year.

You'd think that's something they would have talked about during that long time, but who knows? Oh, no. Whoa. Oh, my God. Whoa. Oh no. Whoa! Oh my god. Whoa! You know what I, it makes me think about, just like grooms being like that, is have you ever seen videos where the groom's vows are just the most bro-y?

They're like, you're hot and I need always be hot. I vow to smack your butt every day, babe. Okay, I've also seen. I'm not kidding, I've seen that type of shit. It's also funny to me, though, to flip it, because you also hear the basic female vows, too, that are like, you love me when I'm hangry. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. When I haven't had my glass of wine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or my cup of coffee in the morning. Sorry for what I said when I was hungry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In Puerto Rico, you took me back to our hotel. And everyone in the wedding's like, aw.

I know, and the girls are like, ah. And they're constantly fixing her dress, and she's like, thank you. Yeah, I swear I wouldn't cry. And now it's time for the groom's vow. It's like, babe, you're fucking hot, dude. Yeah, nice rack. I vow to appreciate your fucking rack fucking hot, dude. Yeah, nice rack. I vow to appreciate your fucking rack every day.

And all the guys are like, yeah, rack. Yeah, yeah. I was like, ew. And then they're like, moving on to the rings. Another one answered, they were both 35, successful lawyer and doctor, but had never spent the night at each other's house. After the marriage, they couldn't agree

who would move in with who and filed for divorce after three months. No one knows why they even got married at all. I guess they felt like they were supposed to at that age. Who would move in with whom? They're lawyers. A lawyer and a doctor. Yeah. It sounds like these are

just all examples of couples that don't actually talk about the big stuff. They don't work shit out. Yeah. Or they're just like, we'll work it out. Like, we'll figure it out. And then eventually it's something that's like so big of like a deal breaker. I think that's an example of people getting married because they think that's kind of

what they should do. Yes. As opposed to like, oh, we actually want this. We as individuals by ourselves want this as opposed to oh we should getting married is what you do after dating for 8 years I feel like they think

it's gonna solve something like alright once we get married like everything is gonna get into place and it's like no? whenever I hear people

talk about like yeah they like had a kid to try to solve their problems I'm like are you kidding me? like adding responsibility

when you're having problems sounds opposite of what I would ever think you would do. But I guess people do it a lot. They do. Eight years is so bananas to me too, because I just, I feel like even in like short term relationships, people are already thinking about the future and you're, you're just like asking your partner these questions of like, where do you see ourselves in five years? And like, what would you like for your career? Where would you like to see your life and things like that? And to just not have that discussion

in eight years feels so strange. A lot of people don't. A lot of people just really- They just don't have that conversation. It's all down to bad communication. Right. And we see it on Reddit stories all the time. Like every relationship,

it's just always that they don't talk. Yeah. That's always the problem. But I think for people who get so used to not talking that that becomes their normal and they think that's fine. Right.

They're like, yeah, we're good. Because I almost wonder if you start to fill in the gaps when you're not talking. Like if she was like, oh yeah, he probably wants kids. Yeah. Because they're not talking about it.

Or maybe they talked about it and he was like, no, had a big explosion and she was like, yeah. He'll change his mind. And the idea of people changing on stuff like that

is always crazy to me too. It's scary. I'm like, dude. Okay, actually I have an interesting question for you guys too though. Like,

do you, do you think if you were like, let's say like meeting somebody on like a dating app or just like for the first time and they had the opposite belief think if you were like let's say like meeting somebody on like a dating app or just like for

the first time and they had the opposite uh belief about kids that you do whether you are like i definitely want kids or i don't want kids and they said the opposite right away are you are you gonna discount them right away are you gonna be like this is probably not gonna work or are you like let's see where this goes and and and let that kind of simmer for a second? I think that goes into a lot of just thoughts I have on dating in general, which is, it's hard for me to gauge now because it's been a long time since I was dating. But those first couple months of dating, I was never trying to put that amount of pressure on it. I'm like, I'm meeting someone and we're just going to have fun. Cause it might, it might be a cool connection that even if we decide it's not romantic, it's like, it's still a cool connection. Like I like this person. We might be friends. We might

just even just be like, it's nice to know you like, um, to just first date, be like, Oh, I have a disagreement on something. Um, we're done here is kind of like, I think you're putting, I think that's putting way too much pressure on dating in general. And you're oh i have a disagreement on something um we're done here is kind of like i think you're putting i think that's putting way too much pressure on dating in general and you're gonna have a hard time when it's like you're just purely looking for that yeah marriage material first date but that's me some people i wouldn't judge someone i wouldn't judge someone if i went on a first date and i was like oh yeah i want, oh, I don't want kids. And they're like, well, I feel the opposite. So I don't know if I see this.

I'd be like, all right. Same. Cool. Yeah. I wouldn't discount them at all. I mean, that probably wouldn't come up in the first, like, few months. But if it did, I wouldn't discount them at all because everyone can change your mind sometimes. But also, like Shane was saying, you want to know them as a person.

But if they were like, peace, goodbye, this is what I want, I'd be like, go get it. I honestly think the first three or so months of dating, you really are like, whatever you're doing, fine, but you are like friends. And it's important to be like, can we be friends first? Before you're like, and now we're considering each other as serious romantic partners.

Because it's like, if you have that without any form of friendship or just like, we can hang on a chill, low-key level. If you can't do that, then you can't move on to the next series but some people go straight to serious it's so funny because like i feel like the first three months is like crazy town like it's like heart burst like and like i think when i met my husband

i like i didn't immediately see him as a friend i was, saw him very much as a romantic interest. But it grew to that pretty quickly. But I felt like a crazy person. No, that's fair. It's tricky. I think everyone experiences it differently.

I think it's cool to... I think friendship is so important, whether you find it in the beginning or not. But I remember my first three months, I was like, I'm going to explode. I'm going to die. I mean, I think there's a, the point that I feel like I'm trying to make is kind of like,

the opposite can be said that in a way it's kind of like, you know, the opposite can be said that like, in a way, it's kind of like, why bother? Like, if you know that there's something so important to you that you're just like, No, I definitely want kids. And like, you see somebody like, for instance, on like an app, you know, if you're if you're, if you definitely want kids, and you see someone like that kind of stuff is already sometimes presented to you on their profile so you'll see like don't want children you know yeah and i'll and i'll see my friends just be like oh well you know they don't want kids and and swipe uh is it left uh whatever the right swipe left swipe left swipe left yeah so so they'll just be like oh they don't want kids and

swipe left and i feel like initially I'm like, whoa, whoa, like why are you thinking about kids right now? Like you're just talking about a first date. But then you also think about it, and it's like, well, why go on this date with somebody and carry on when you know that this is something that you're going to disagree with and you're going to have to deal with it later? Yeah, that's fair.

I guess it really depends on the person and how like if if what you're really looking for is a serious commitment and that long-term relationship then yeah then yeah you are acknowledging like it this is you know it's not going to go that far yeah maybe you know that on your dating profile because it's a little like but i guess you don't know the person i i'm also just jaded when it comes to dating apps that i'm like i'm like you're putting that on your dating app because you're hoping to find the one on tinder and i'm just like i don't i but that's where i'm biased because i'm just like i just don't really believe yeah i know that some people do some people do find their partners

on them i think the success rates are super fucking low. Totally. I think it's a chance thing. You can put yourself out there and hopefully try to meet the right person. But I've always said it. My issue with the apps is I just think that romantic connections are so heavily based on physical pheromones that you share with people. Body language. Body language, chemistry, how you feel when you're just in the same presence of them. I deleted them because I didn't like what they were doing to my brain. Oh, yeah.

I was like, I don't like how it's making me view people. I was like, this is weird. Purely looks. And just categorizing in a weird way. And I'm like, people are so much more complicated and there's so much more depth. And I think I felt sad because I definitely swiped left on women that I was like, if I met them in person in the right context, I probably would have felt different,

and that made me sad. And I was just like, but I also understood that I was like, it's hard to meet people. It's really fucking hard. And it's kind of our only option, because there's no third places where people go and are out and about. Anyways.

Yeah. Wow, ask credit, dang yeah do you want to move on there's one other there's a couple other questions yeah okay um what is the worst secondhand embarrassment you've ever felt oh someone this one this first one's insane uh this is a character that i think you would play amanda we were at an all-inclusive resort in Jamaica. Every night, they had this common area where folks could do karaoke. A middle-aged gentleman got up and started the first few lines of Lionel Richie's Easy. Some random lady from the audience ran up and attempted to sing the song with the gentleman.

He kindly pushed her away two or three times as she tried to sing over his shoulder into the microphone. Finally, she just stood there, dejected, swaying from side to side like an idiot, as the man broke from his song and professed his love for his girlfriend and wrapped up with a marriage proposal. They hugged, they kissed, the idiot girl went back to her seat. I will never understand why that guy chose that song to use to propose. However, he was killing the vocals. Whoa! Can you imagine being like, I'm'm gonna go do a duet with this guy and it's just like oh and then it's like it's a marriage

role so and you're just up there like oh no not only did you fail and it was already awkward it gets double i want to be this woman so bad because i have seen this woman a million times. Oh, yeah. Especially like resort, like touristy vacation spots where they're like, yeah. They go up and the guy is like, he has a whole plan to propose. Also, karaoke proposal. Listen, I love karaoke. No. I know. It's like, okay.

Easy like Sunday morning. Yeah. Yeah. It's just not the vibe. That's literally where I just was in inside of this story and and and there was a in costa rica there was a karaoke night and favian and i went up and we were singing uh a song and the crowd was simply dead like actually like it wasn't no they actually turns out they had died there was a carbon monoxide thing it was really bad costa rica problem um but everybody was just in their

seat watching it wasn't like a karaoke where like you know all your friends are cheering you on and you're like the life of the party it's not the time for a marriage proposal no and also this woman i love that i think in her head was like, I want to be up here. Yeah. So I'm not going anywhere. She said, this is my moment. And she just sways. To not get off stage once you've been pushed away.

To just stay up there. Right. And I can see it. Is there an update? No. The other one, I picture Spencer as this guy. Had a guy walk into class in college late it was an it was auditorium seating and the only open spaces were on the fourth row in the middle about 25 rows in total and about 50 seats per row this guy walks in and sits down 15 minutes into

lecture and opens his laptop which as soon as the lights boot up, starts blaring porn. And at the buildup to the big finale to boot, he couldn't log in fast enough or mute it since he wasn't logged in. So he slammed it shut, put it in his bag, and walked out with it still blaring at full volume. We heard it finally stop as he was about to leave the building.

Oh my. He didn't have the blanket. He needed that over the laptop. You need the blanket on. This is Spencer to you? I just imagine I'm laughing at Spencer I imagine Spencer opening up

Just porn And he's just like Trying to lock He just shuts it Porn's still going And he just walks out Casually He doesn't freak out

He's just like Alright At that point I think he's freaking out So intensely That he's just like I think at that point You have to commit

You're just It's porn And you just gotta be like... Yeah, you gotta go... What's that? You gotta go, sorry, sorry. Sorry, it's my porn. Sorry, I'm learning how to kiss. Sorry, I'm learning how to... I was learning how to kiss. It's not a big deal.

Oh my god, it's so awkward. That's so bad. And it didn't stop. Okay, actually though, I have a crazy story. This happened maybe a couple months ago. I was at AMC. I think I was watching one of the, like, it was a horror movie. And I was with a couple of my friends. We were in, like, one, we were, like, probably the fourth row.

And in the third row, we see this guy. He was on his phone. The movie hadn't started yet. But on his phone, he's,'s like editing porn. That's awesome Editing porn editing poor was he in the video I it's just him and his wife What do you mean? Oh? Got it. It was close up. It was yeah, it was a close-up. It was the end of the video It was it was the rear of the video. It was the rear, for sure.

The rear? It was the rear. Oh, it was really the end. It was the last straw. So he's... He looks over and he's like, that's my butthole. Sorry, I'm editing this.

Well, he's editing it, and all of us are like, oh my God. And so we're just kind of like, all right, he's doing his thing, whatever. And then the movie starts playing, and he's still on his phone, and we are just like, very obviously seeing this on his screen.

And then eventually he puts it down, and then in the middle of the movie, all of a sudden, it just goes off, and it's just blaring. Oh, full-on playing. Wait, really? Full-on moaning. And he takes his phone out, and he's trying to shut it off, and it takes at least

like four or five minutes until he actually like four to five minutes and we are all like scarred that's a plot point yeah no it's crazy whoa isn't that wild

it was so it was so distracting but it was just like what a great Saturday for him I mean he's just doing his work his creative work and then he gets to watch a scary movie.

If it was a really scary movie, I'd maybe be grateful because that would relieve the tension. Right. Okay, I'm not scared right now because there's porn blaring. Oh, we were very scared. I don't know. I hate movies. No, I love movies.

I hate phones in movie theaters. Oh, yeah. So would it be crazy if you were like, excuse me, sir, can you put your phone away? Because the movie's about to start. We wanted to say something. Well, here's the thing.

When he was on his phone during the trailers and we clocked it, we were like, maybe we should tell someone. And then we were like, it's fine. Well, yeah,

I'm not going to do it. I'm not the type. I'm not the type to go and complain in a movie. Mainly because I'm like, I don't want to miss part of the movie for this. I'm not the type I'm not the type to go to and complain in a movie mainly because I'm like I don't want to miss part of the movie for this

I'm not doing this I'm sticking to this so you don't go pee like during a movie I try not to same I will hold it same

I'll go if the movie's boring I'll be in pain if it's really boring then sure but no or like you ever have like a really intense scene and then it cuts

to something else and you're like this is giving exposition. Yeah, that's the smart moment to do it. But I try not to. Yeah. But it's always difficult. Wow.

But then you're like pining for the end of the movie and that's never what you want to do, you know? Yeah. So. Wow. Just pee. Just pee. Just pee. Just pee.

The last Ask Reddit one I had, it was Americans of Reddit. What places in America should foreigners avoid at all cost? And the answers kind of surprised me because they were all very similar and they were all about national parks. And it wasn't necessarily avoid. It was just if you go to a national park and you disregard the signs, you're going to die. It's not a joke. Treat buffalo like field puppies. You're going to die.

Try to pet the brown bear. You're going to die. See that moose and want to feed it? You're probably already dead. Oh, look, a rattlesnake. Dead. Want to swim in Old Faithful? You're going to die painfully and completely dissolve into a soup. Shit is dangerous here, and if you don't respect it, you'll likely die quick. And then the other one was, don't hike into the wilderness of Colorado, especially 14ers, without knowing wilderness survival and responsibilities. Tourists die in our mountains in Rocky Mountain National Park all the time.

Do your research. Altitude is no joke. That one I can attest to because my brother and I got lost coming down from a 14er once. And we, yeah, it was very stupid. Don't ever go off trail is a lesson I already knew. But then my brother and I were hiking down the mountain. We took a wrong turn. Have I told you this story?

Yeah. We were hiking. So we got up. We were out camping in the middle of Colorado. And we hiked the second highest peak, this big ass mountain. We woke up at like six, went up and hiked it. On our way back down, it's like noon. We've already been hiking for hours then.

My oldest brother goes ahead of us to go back and start making breakfast and we're hiking down. And my other brother and I, we take a wrong turn and we hike for like 45 minutes the wrong way. And then we're like, oh shoot, we hiked 45 minutes the wrong way. Then we kind of look down and we're like i'm pretty certain camp is down this way like off like like off the trail

and so we're like let's if we go down that way i'm sure we're gonna hit camp and we hike down for like half an hour and we're just like oh we're in the middle of nowhere oh my god and then uh and then and then it's like fuck okay now now i don't know how to get back to trail and uh it's amazing how big shit is and how off trail how hard it is to move through the forest it we were hiking for about an hour before we found a trail and then we're like sweet we found a trail we can follow this and then that trail slowly gets overgrown and we realize it's an abandoned trail and we're like alright we have to go off again and we

what we did is we found like a small stream and we're like let's follow this because it'll eventually lead to down the mountain we follow that we eventually after like an hour and a half this is like a total of maybe two hours of hiking just off trail, just through the mountains. We eventually get out into the clearing.

So we're safe. Like we can see a town way off in the distance. But we're on the opposite side of the mountain as our camp. And so it took us like another six or seven hours to get all the way back. Whoa. Oh, my God. We hiked a marathon that day. Wait, your brother was just still cooking breakfast.

Yeah, we got back, because we were able to, once we got out of the clearing, we were able to call, I was able to call my sister-in-law, and she talked to my brother, and we're like, they're safe,

they're just gonna take a while to get back. That's actually my worst nightmare. And it sucked. It sucked so much, and it gave me a lot of perspective, for one, to never ever, ever go off trail. No matter, even if you're like, oh, just go off a little bit.

Like, don't. I was so immediately not scared of animals or bears or wolves or anything like that. I was like, I'm so scared of, like, tripping on a rock. Like, that's what's going to kill you. It's the mundane shit that'll kill you in nature. It was awful.

So they're correct. National parks are no joke. Also, Colorado altitude is... When I hiked in Boulder and I was like... Someone also... Couldn't breathe. There was also an answer saying Death Valley, like that foreigners underestimate Death Valley

and they'll go hiking in Death Valley and they'll die because it's hot as sin. It's like also kawaii too. Just nature, American nature is a lot more deadly than people realize. I'm glad. But I was expecting the answers to be like, oh, downtown LA at night.

I was like, yeah, that. But it was all wilderness related. It's just like really about survival. Yeah, that's what they were saying. But I don't know. No, that's good. Someone did have an answer of like, it's less about areas in America and it's more about like context

and how you act in certain contexts. I'm like, I get that. Like there's definitely certain, there's parts of every city where it's like, don't go being an asshole around there sure moving on there's a ton of like ask types of things on reddit right so there's ask reddit that's the big main one but there's all sorts of them there's like ask science asks uh historians ask whatever there's uh there's ask men and there's also ask women um i found one

good one on AskMen. Just one. Just one. A lot of them are just kind of the same as AskReddit. It's just like geared toward. What do you do when she stops talking? What do you do when she slams the door? What do you do when she stops talking?

No, this one's great because I relate to it. What obvious hints have you missed from a woman? Oh, okay. And all the answers are great, but I found two of my favorites. This is juicy. When I was in high school, this girl came over to smoke weed,

and after she said something to the effect of, I've always wanted to try having sex while high, I just replied, yeah, me too. And that was the end of the conversation. Okay, that's not a hint. Not a hint. That's literally straight up telling you. I gotta be honest. I'm like, me at 18 would have probably done that.

Because I was just, I would have been like, yeah, me too, for sure. I just would not think that it's about me. Whoa! You're literally together smoking weed. Oh, my God. I know. I know people like that. Yeah, no, completely.

We're like, wouldn't it be cool to like... Not anymore. I'm married now. Wow. Wouldn't it be cool to like kiss under the starlight? They're like, yeah, it'd be really cool. That would be cool. Good night. That would be cool. And then they go to their friends and they're like, she's not into me. Yeah. Exactly.

Yeah, I'm not kidding. I think I've been in similar situations. There was another one. In a college, a girl and I worked together for about a year, usually late nights in a campus food court that wasn't that busy. Over time, we became better friends. Eventually, we both ended up breaking up with our respective significant others around the same time.

So naturally, we bonded over that and how both relationships were dead for a while. Anyway, a week later, I say like one sentence complaining about my dorm's laundry being in the basement and not working well. She mentions I should come do laundry at her house instead, and that her mom is gone for the weekend, so wouldn't mind. I kind of brush it off, but she keeps bringing it up and saying there's a movie on Netflix she'd like to see that weekend too. 19 year old me is thinking

why the hell would driving my laundry to your house be less annoying than taking it to my building's basement? So I just keep changing the subject.

Took me like six years to realize that one. Six years? Like six years later he was like oh. What's the update? Yeah. The update is that

he's not getting laid. Here's the frustrating part though. update is that here's here's the frustrating part though it's like it feels like it feels like in so many instances it's like she's like trying to like give him obviously the hint and being like you know come over my mom isn't home it's more convenient like whatever and he's responding in a way that's informing her that he's not into her. When instead he's just unaware. He's just not. That's why I'm like, I just,

I'm so done with like pussyfooting around, shall I say that? You shall. Just be direct. I started, I think as a teenager, I started being very direct. I was like, do you want to go make out in the basement right now? And they're like, whoa.

Yeah. And did you? You're crazy. Yeah. Okay. And I started just being direct because. Well, I think for me, I would still be this way, but I was so afraid of ever making anyone uncomfortable. Yeah.

Terrified of ever, of I was so much more scared of being wrong and them not being into me that I would just rather like, I acted like I wasn't doing that. That makes sense. But then you don't ever get those, nobody ever was forward with me.

Nobody ever said anything. So I'm like, maybe, and I mean, even in hindsight, I'm like, maybe. Maybe it wasn't. Maybe it wasn't. I don't know. It's like somebody has to budge on the side of both people being like, maybe. Maybe they viewed me just as a friend. They just wanted to hang out and watch a movie as a friend.

No. I mean, I don't know. Not where their mom is out. No. And it's rarely ever just for friendship. I've always wanted to try having sex while high when it's ridiculous. I think it is a bummer. I will say that lately men, or maybe always, a lot of men feel so afraid that they're going to do the wrong thing. Right. That they kind of like pause themselves.

And there's a reason why, yes. But also it's a little sad to me well it's it's sad that so many men ruined it by being exactly awful yeah and then the like exactly and so we're in this awkward place i mean um i can imagine that it's like for probably like how you were thinking and how a lot of guys are thinking it's kind of like i'd rather be stupid and miss the hint than overstep and then be embarrassed. It's not something, it's not something I regret. And it's not even embarrassed.

It's, I, I, I really am terrified of like making someone uncomfortable, like making them have a bad time or, or whatever. And, uh,

there's also just for every story like this, there's a, there's probably far more men who take something that's not a hint. Yeah. And they're like, oh, she's into me. Yeah. And it's just like. Those are the ones that fuck it up for everyone.

Exactly. That's what it boils down to. I feel like there's also just such a wholesome way to look at that, too. Like, I feel like I was doing that in my adult life a little bit, too. Like, even on my most recent first date, I feel like I was like, is it a date? I know. Or are we just like hanging out as friends?

And you just like never really know until you're there. And then again, it's like the obvious things are happening where you're like, okay, I feel like that's like pretty date-y. And then it doesn't really become clear until there's like a kiss or something physical. Have you ever been on a date with a guy but you thought it was a friend date? Yes.

Okay. See, that's the big fear. That's always tough. But I wasn't offended by them or mad at them. I was like, oh my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I missed the hints. Well, I think it's because sometimes it can be misunderstood, like our friendliness, right?

Of like, you ever meet another guy who's very genuine and just a friend to you, and you're like, we should hang out. We should go see a movie or something. Every day. And they are like, okay. They're like, aren't you married? And I'm like, so I'm locked in a cage and I can't see other men? Exactly, your property. I think also what makes it tough for me, too, is I had tons of friends who were women.

So I was also, like, used to just hanging out with women and it being a friend thing. So, like, I think that made it tough. That's tricky. Because I'm like, oh, but these are things that I normally do. Do with a friend. Women all the time. So it's not like I'm viewing that always as a romantic thing. Right, yeah.

It's definitely nice being married where I get to now, like things are just so much simpler. I'm just like, yeah. Yeah. It's not. I'm not looking for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

No, I still ask Courtney that sometimes. Do you still like me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. No, I still ask Courtney that sometimes. Do you still like me or do you see me as your coworker? So what are we? Our next Reddit is a weird one. It's a very fun, wholesome, weird Reddit. Weird one. It's called Squirrels Eating Unusual Things. People take photos of squirrels eating unusual things.

I was going to say I need photos. So we've got, found this little dude eating a burger next to. Whoa. They drive an ambulance and there's a squirrel eating like a burger. It's got both buns, patty in the middle. Like it's eating a burger like a person. That's awesome. The next one is found a squirrel eating a croissant sandwich.

Look at that. It's got a whole croissant sandwich. And he's like falling down a tree. He is chilling, eating that croissant sandwich. How is he hanging on? Well, he's a squirrel. That's what they're evolved. Well, you see.

Over millions of years, they've evolved to eat croissant sandwiches while dangling from a tree. Yeah. That's peak evolution. That's resort life. That's that woman on a resort when she's not bugging the karaoke guy. She's fucking doing that. I want us to develop where squirrels actually only have croissant sandwiches as their diet.

Yes. Ah, too powerful. Yeah. Moving on from that, a very popular subreddit is mildly infuriating. Ooh. And there's just people posting. It's a lot of times it's images,

for the most part it's images, of just things that happened that are infuriating. it might be that they spilled paint all over their garage or whatever it's like it's an inconvenience it's not like the worst thing yeah first one though is a text message um this kind of relates to our other stuff uh sort of pov you were happily married and message your friend who recently got a girlfriend uh so I'm assuming this is a woman and they're texting their friend and they go, hey, bro, how have you been? It's been a while. And this guy responds, hey, just can't talk to you anymore.

I just want to fully respect what my girl wants because I broke her trust by talking to you behind her back when I told her I wasn't going to talk to you even when nothing was going on. I don't want her feeling any other type of way or her trust because I truly care about her. You may not take any of this serious, but me and my girl are at the next level of our relationship of seriousness. I care about her and I love her. I'm sure you'd do the same thing if your partner told you not to talk to this person or that. I hope things go well with a husband and whatever. Peace.

I wouldn't say that's mildly infuriating. I would say that drives me insane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Me and my girl. Me and my girl. So mad. That's such a huge red flag if your partner immediately is telling you not to talk to people. I can't text you.

That, I think, is the ultimate red flag if they're trying to cut off your network. It is. Okay, actually, I'm kind of confused for a second because— There's not much context given in this. It's just a text message. What kind of confused me though was just like him saying she's not okay with it after I

lied about talking to you behind her back. So I'm not sure what came first. Even when nothing was going on. Yeah. It's all weird, but this person's saying they're happily married and so they're messing and at the end he goes hope things go well with husband but it's like did the girl just tell him not to

talk to anyone and then he did and maybe he's close with this woman and they text all the time and then he lied about it and the girl was like why did you lie to me exactly yeah lying about it makes it seem sketchy and that's why she's like, please don't talk to her anymore. Either way, shitty. Either way, I don't think you can really

tell your partner not to do something when you don't really know. No. It definitely depends. Look, if this person had an affair

with that person or even if it was an ex, I'd be like, I get it a little bit more, but like, they're married. He even ends that text with that, good luck with your husband and stuff.

It's like- Good luck with your husband? Don't you know his name? Fuck. Aren't we friends? I also think for his partner, if you're at that point where you have no trust for your partner, you're not.

No, sign up. The other one I found, this is a great image. Chase attempted to withdraw 99 billion from my checking account. It's still on hold. Look at that. That's fucking awesome. Whoa.

What? No, no, no, no, no, no. Whoa. No, no, no, no. Wait, why? It's just probably an accident. That would send me into cardiac arrest. Oh, if you saw that you owed $99.9 billion.

I am constantly in fear that somebody is going to come to my door and be like, you owe money. Like, you owe money. Oh, yeah. Are you not paying your taxes, Arasha? I think so. But don't you think so? I think I'm doing it right. But don't you guys also think like-

Oh, I'm terrified of paperwork. I'm terrified of the government. What if I'm reporting something wrong? What if I did something wrong and they're like, that's illegal. It's because it's a trap. It's because the government is like the mafia in a lot of ways. They are trying to

get you. This is what I'm saying. Big scary men could show up at your door at any point and say $99 million. Or women. Well, I wouldn't be as scared of the women. Wow. No. No. We can't do this. Not here. Big scary men at my door

are scaring me more than big scary women. What? Big scary woman would make me shit my pants. No, I would feel a little nurtured by the big scary women. Nurtured? No. When Helga shows up with her ponytails,

seven foot five Helga. I'm going to jump into her arms and she'll carry me to the government. Oh God. You are what's wrong with America. She's like, I heard what you said. We're going to hire. We're going to do an experiment on this.

We're going to hire two big, scary men. We're going to hire two big, scary women. And we're going to attack somebody in the cast. What the fuck? And we're going to see who they're more scared of. This plot is crazy. You're going to attack someone in the cast. Leave in the comments below who should be attacked.

We're going to traumatize two of our friends. We're going to attack someone in the cast. Leave in the comments below who should be attacked. We're going to traumatize two of our friends. We're going to ask who was more traumatized. Who was more traumatized? And then we'll psychologically help them afterward. How? I don't have that kind of equipment. By getting two giant nice guys and two giant nice girls. Are you okay?

Which comforts them more. Helga. They just pat them on the back. They're like, sorry about that. Listen, I have my answer. We're just testing. I'm honestly, I'm not scared of big, scary people. I'm scared of, honestly, if it's anyone

who's just from the government showing up. They could be the smallest, sweetest looking person, but if they're like, hey, I'm from the IRS, I'd be like, you're going to kill me. Actually, you're not going to kill me. You're going to ruin my life. Yes. Slowly I'd be like, you're going to kill me. Actually, you're not going to kill me. You're going to ruin my life. Yes. Slowly.

And then I'm going to want to kill me. Like, that's what I'm scared of. Yeah. I'm scared of the letter. That's what I'm scared. That's worse than a – That's somehow so much worse for me. No, I hate checking the mail.

It's a different kind of fear because it's like monetary fear. It's like, oh, I'm going to owe the government for the rest of my life. I was with people last weekend who were like, oh, like I don't check the mail. Like it's been like monetary fear. It's like, oh, I'm going to owe the government for the rest of my life. I was with people last weekend who were like, oh, I don't check the mail. It's been like a year. Crazy. The post office man, whatever the fuck his name is. I'm going to reroute them. I'm going to reroute them to you, bitch.

I'm going to say go find her. She has jury duty. Okay, moving on. There is a subreddit for Tinder. and it's a popular one yes um and a lot of times they just are posting photos of like interactions just like silly things that were said or ridiculous things that were said by people okay first one um i the caption of it is i guess ice cream dates are considered a terrible idea nowadays. I thought this was interesting because. My first date was an ice cream date. Here you go.

Here you go. Wait, I, okay. My first date was with somebody who I worked with at an ice cream shop. That's so fun. There you go. I've had ice cream before. Oh, okay. Great.

Uh, so, so this person writes in, uh, this guy, this guy, he matched with this woman. He goes, hey, this is Vance. Smiley face. She responds, hi, smiling emoji. Hope you're having a good day. I'm excited for tomorrow. I can pick you up, but if you're not comfortable with that, we can just meet there. I don't know why, but I'm feeling like getting some ice cream in this hot weather.

Then like an emoji. She responds to being asked on an ice cream date sorry this may come off as rude but i don't do ice cream dates i'm a 26 year old woman and a date like that seems like the absolute bare minimum for me meeting up would be a waste of both of our times since we probably don't have the same vibe best wishes he responds cool with the sunglasses emoji what okay she's in the wrong she She's, of course, in the wrong. Okay, well, I turned around and you were, like, mad at his text. He sounded a little lame to me.

I'm so sorry. It is so hard. How do you sound normal on a dating app? It's some hot weather. We're having kiddos, so let's pop in for some ice cream. You're making him lame. You're making him lame. Well, they make root beer floats the old fashioned way over at the general store.

We can do a little whoopee in my mom's house. No, no, no. You're reading it wrong. Have you ever had sex high? She's like, that's what I said. You just got to give him the cool tone. He's like, hey, it's kind of hot out there. I don't know why.

You can't do that through text. That's what I was reading. I gave him the lame joke. Listen, I think it's just like, hey, I'll pick you up, whatever. And then you just go to ice cream. Just surprise her. He laid out all the plans. Surprise her.

Rex is going to be boring. No, no, no. I disagree. I disagree. Because on a dating app, you literally don't know this person. I don't think you should get a ride from someone you want on a dating app. But I thought he was nice to be like if you're not comfortable Yeah, no, I thought his was

fine. His was fine. No sex appeal, whatever. If you're not comfortable well, I'll wear a mask. There's no sex appeal through texting when you haven't met the person in real life. I disagree. Okay, then. Good thing I'm not on dating apps. Yeah yeah and you can't have

fucking ice cream anymore I'm just like but I thought this was funny I thought this was funny because were you I mean you were relatively around 26 when you went on

your ice cream date with your husband yeah yeah yeah I it was Easter I know that sounds weird but I had work so I was in like

my waitress outfit and I walked down the street to get ice cream. Met up for ice cream, and he was like, hey, and I was like, hey. He was like, I love ice cream. And I was like, I don't really love ice cream, but go for it. What flavor did he get?

Oh, something like crazy chocolate. No, my husband, his nickname is Dairy Queen. He fucking loves dairy. He's Russian, I mean he's obsessed He fucking loves dairy. He's Russian. I mean, he's obsessed with cream and milk. Oh, wow. Oh, he's obsessed with dairy and cookies. Well, yeah.

So anyways, he got like a triple dark chocolate thing. And he had this long hair, no beard, and he dripped so much ice cream all over him. And I was like, damn, dude, you love ice cream. He's likeps so much ice cream all over him and I was like damn dude you love ice cream he's like I love ice cream and you were for it I was down because he was so clearly himself he wasn't trying to be like hey are you okay no he was like

you look beautiful I love ice cream dripping from his mouth you look beautiful and I was like you look beautiful okay that's i love ice cream dripping from his mouth you look beautiful and i was like you know what i'm so over these fucking dudes who are like hey uh is everything okay and then they were just not who they said they were and he was like right i love us you trusted him because he's you're just like this is genuine you're not lying to me oh yeah he spilled all over his black shirt here's the thing I think this guy is unapologetically himself because his answer of cool with the cool emoji

is also kind of lame. Well, she sucks. That's who he is. She sucks. No, no. Listen, guys. He sucks. She, sorry.

She sucks. He's just boring as fuck. He only got that guy as the horn message. I gotta be honest that's probably how I came off on Tinder and stuff because I don't know

how to fucking I don't know how to do it because I'm trying to just like get through that part and just meet up in person that's that's it's hard to be like

cheeky over text you don't know this person yeah so you're just trying to not sound like a serial killer but then you read that and you're like this person's annoying me

well maybe I enjoyed like when Garde sendsiae sends, like, emojis. They're the weirdest emojis ever. It's like a weird bear with a heart. Well, you have a rapport now, so. And he's Russian. Those are Russian emojis. Even in the beginning. You don't have access to those.

He ended. He ended. So true. We don't get the bear ones. He has all those. That would be so great. I can't compare our relationship to anything because it's fucking insane. God damn it.

Wow. Keep going, ice cream guy. I have one other one. This one is the dumbest thing I could have possibly found. This is how I wished I'd have been on Tinder. Okay. This is, I think, the only way that you can actually do Tinder and not feel like shit. Okay.

So this guy matches with a woman named Faith. And he messages her saying, so how often do people do wordplay with your name? And she goes, a lot, crying emoji, crying laughing emoji. He goes, El Mayo, I knew it. What's the top three? I want to try to beat it. She goes, oh God, let me look, hang on. One, I think I need a little faith in my life.

Two, I didn't believe in faith till now. Three, will you be my faith? I don't have any. And so he then, do you think he's gonna beat those yeah he's gonna say something really fucked up he goes he goes i gotta try to say this is not laughing no he goes uh in asterix mike tyson voice asterix mike tyson voice will you let me rub my balls across your face? That is not at all where I thought it was going. It's so

good. It is so good. Wait, what? That is so fucking good. She hated it, didn't she? Of course she hated it. Are you serious? She was like, I'm out of here, dude. I wish you well.

And he went, cool. Okay, but come on. You laugh at that. I mean, that'd be a bother. I would be like, let's get, I'd be like, let's fucking get ice cream. Oh my God. I don't know what I would do, actually.

I'd be like, all right. Oh God, do you think he even wanted to, like, he didn't actually care about her. He just saw the name, and he's like, oh, I've had this one for years. He's like, my chance. Honestly. Finally, my Mike Tyson bit comes in handy. I would hang out with him more than the fucking bitch. Well, yeah.

That's so funny. I would have unmatched him after the first message, after the, like, how many dudes mess with your name. I feel like that's on every app too. Everybody just kind of like takes the name and does like a funnel. That's all they have. That's all they have to go off of.

You don't have anything. But I'm like, you got, like Hinge has got like prompts now. Like I'm like comment on some of the stuff that I like. Hinge, yeah, is a little bit better.

The prompts are a little cringy. They can be, but they can also be like fun. What's the update? What's the update on that? Wait, is that it? That's it? That's it?

Yeah, it ends, you're not gonna go much past the Mike Tyson joke. She didn't respond? I don't know, he didn't show if she responded or not. Yeah, she definitely unmatched after that. I would laugh so hard

if they were like together. That is unbelievable. I have more, well yeah, I have faith in them. Oh my god. Please stop. I actually want all of us to go back on our dating apps and find all the old messages.

No. Yeah. I've never been on one. Oh yeah, I want those. It's been a long time. I'd love to see Shane's. No, god no. I'd love to see Shane's. I think we can get that. No. Okay. We just have to get his phone.

Let's get that. Let's get that. Let's ask those two scary women to get it for us. No, they won't. Hell yeah. They won't get it. We need the men. Oh, my God.

You need to stop this now. You need to stop this. Not on this podcast. I don't scare you. And I'm a big scary woman. Rasha, you scare the shit out of me. Do I? Yes.

You're probably the scariest person and I'm a big scary woman. Arasha, you scare the shit out of me. Do I? Yes. You're probably the scariest person on this cast. I'm just kidding. I see that as a compliment, so. Yeah, I know. That's why I gave it to you. So you don't actually mean it? No, I mean it. I think you're scary as fuck.

I'm going to show up at your house. Okay, I take it. You are the scariest person. Okay, show up at my house. I'd open the door. Fine. I believe you. I'm bringing ice cream for you. No, no, no, no. You are the scariest person. Okay, show up at my house. I'd open the door. Fine. I believe you. I'm bringing ice cream for you.

No, no, no, no. For Garde. I can't. He's way scarier. Oh, you can bring it for Garde. I'll just dump it in his face, and he'll be like, yes. He's a monster with ice cream. Anyways.

Another subreddit that's very popular. I don't know if we've covered this on Reddit Stories before. It could show up at some point, but there's a subreddit called's very popular. I don't know if we've covered this on Reddit stories before. It could show up at some point, but there's a subreddit called Malicious Compliance. And it's very fun because it's where, you know, situations, this specifically happens at work a lot where you have a boss who's telling

you to do something, but you know that by doing it, it's going to fuck things up or like, it's just like, they're telling me to do the wrong thing. So this is Malicious Compliance where it's going to fuck things up. Or like, it's just like, they're telling me to do the wrong thing. So this is malicious compliance where it's like, alright, I'm going to do what you're asking me or what you're pressuring me to do,

but you're not going to like the results. Like, I tried to warn you, but alright. So it's compliance in a malicious way. Okay. So here's a great example. I don't think your kid will like my candy, lady, but whatever. Since there's only a week left of summer, I decided to take the kids to the local amusement park today. As I've gotten older,

the rides have gotten a little tougher on me. In addition, my daughter tends to get motion sick rather easily. I don't like the way motion sickness pills make me feel, so I always take a Ziploc baggie full of ginger candy along to prevent and soothe nausea. Today, I had chewy mango ginger candies, hard plain ginger candies, and hard lemon ginger candies. For those who've never had ginger candy, it is spicy. The lemon ginger is probably the mildest. The plain ginger is just plain hot. The mango ginger are sweet and spicy, but they also stick to your teeth like crazy.

They're definitely an acquired taste. As we were standing in line for the log ride, I pull out my baggie. I choose a lemon one, as does my son, who's 13. My daughter, 12, asked for a mango one, I hear the kid in front of us tell his mom that he's around seven. He wants some candy. His mom distractedly says she doesn't have any candy. The boy says, but she does. He turns to me and asks for one.

I tell him I don't really think he'd like my candy. By this time, his mom has focused in on the interaction. As the kid starts to whine that, of course, he'd like my candy, his mom just huffs and says, You've got a whole baggie. Can't you just give him one? Come on, don't be greedy. Oh, you said the magic word there, lady. I say, all right, I dig out a lemon one.

I'm not completely heartless. That's when the kid whines that he wants a mango one, because mango's his favorite. I tell him lemon is better, but he insists on mango. I tell him it's kind of sticky as I hand it over. The kid rips it open, shoves it in his mouth, gets three quick chews while my kids stare at him. Then he actually starts to taste it and a look of horror comes across his face. He screams and tries to spit it out.

He's jumping around, flapping his arms. His mom is panicking and asking what's wrong. He's screaming that it's bad and it's hot and he wants it out. His mom tells him to spit it out. That's when I pipe up to say with the very helpful, it's really sticky. What's left is probably stuck in his teeth. He'll have to wait for it to melt off if he doesn't want to chew.

The mom looks at me in disbelief and a shrug. Then she asked what the hell I gave her son. Probably should have asked that sooner, lady. I answer, ginger candy. It's good for nausea. I'm pretty sure I'd be dead if looks could really kill. We got to move up in the line two spaces, though, because she whisked her kid off to a water fountain. I'd like to think the kid will think twice

about demanding things from strangers. Plus, it was entertaining. Overall, the kids and I counted it as a win. What? Yeah. So that's just a case of a kid asking for candy. It's like, this is really spicy don't take it but then the mom being like give him some candy i feel like that could have been so easily avoided

too like i feel like the dad could have just immediately been like i agree this is ginger no he could have been like no yeah no we're so afraid to say no to people right i'm talking about myself mainly but like lady, no. And also, if she called me greedy, I'd be like, then absolutely not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. That's why the kid's like, he has one. Right, because his model is this woman,

his mom. She's like, give it to him. Don't be greedy. Just fucking give it to him. The log ride. Yeah. Well, hopefully that'll teach them a lesson. The log ride is kind of intense. You're just basically under water the whole time. What is the point of that ride?

It's fun. Do you have bad luck on water rides? Yes. You're the one who gets wet. You know the one at Disneyland where it's like the circle? Yeah. It's Russian roulette with water. I love it. I actually think I have really good luck on those rides. Really?

I do not get wet. I do not get soaking wet. I've rarely. Where do you sit? I don't, like, choose. Like, well, the circle ones, it's kind of at random. I feel like. The log ones, yeah, if you're in the front, back, whatever,

can be a little different. But I've been fairly lucky, and other people will just get drenched. Oh, that's great. Even the Jurassic Park one, you know where like the little thing comes out and it's just like a little bit and maybe like one out of every 10 person, it's always me.

That's great. That's part of the fun, I feel like. Yeah. On hot summer days, I'm like, I'm down for it. And then it still doesn't happen. No, I really, I'm, I, my luck, I, I'm like, I'm down for it. And then it still doesn't happen. No, I really, I'm, my luck, I'm, it's funny because I'm really not too superstitious. Like I'm, as you know, I'm very skeptical, but I do believe, or I like, I can't help but fall into the belief of like, oh, I have, I have luck in certain ways and bad luck in

other ways. And I've, and Courtney has even like flagged it and been like, yeah, it's kind of true that you have bad luck in certain aspects. Maybe it's good luck that you're not getting soaked on these freaking log rides. Where do you think you have bad luck? I have bad luck with traffic. I just kind of get screwed. I've had many times where I leave a place at the same time as another person and I show up like 20 minutes later because I got stuck in a traffic thing while they didn't.

It just happens. I can have bad luck with parking sometimes. It's a lot of car related stuff. It's small things. I've said like I have bad luck in small ways. And then I think I have really bad gambling luck, which I'm grateful for. Because I'm like I have no inclination to gamble because I have such bad luck with it. The itch.

But I have really good luck in plenty of other ways. Do you feel lucky? Yeah. I feel lucky. H and I have this thing that we always have really good timing. Everywhere we go, we'll show up and we're like, oh, this place

was supposed to be busy. And we'll get in line and we'll order and no lie, there'll be like 10 people right behind us. You'll like start the trend. And I'm like, damn, we have really good luck with that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Timing, really good luck. That's awesome. Yep. Pretty cool. Yeah. It's the little things

that are the big things. We're kind of running out of time, but- No! No! No! No!

I love this. We're going to do more of this because Subreddit Explorer is very fun. And Reddit stories we're covering mostly Am I the Asshole? So this is for all the other things that aren't going to be covered there. There's a bunch like Tales from Retail and then Tales from the Front Desk, which are great. There's one called Just Know Mother-in-Law, and it's all about nightmare mother-in-law stories. No, don't get me started. I found a story.

We can maybe read it next time. Too close, too close. I found a story. We can maybe read it next time, but it was about a mother-in-law who tried to wear white at a friend's wedding. I don't understand why people do that. The mother-in-law of the groom tried to wear white to the wedding. And that was on purpose. And then the story is about how OP

purposefully spills a drink on her. Okay, that's the TLDR right there. I'll save that one for next time. And then I'll read a couple of these. There's a great subreddit called I Don't Work Here Lady. And it's about people being mistaken for working at places.

There was one where the person was like, I worked at a Target and there was a Hobby Lobby across the street. I ran over to Hobby Lobby after a shift to grab something and I was still wearing my red shirt with the Target symbols all over it. A 20-something girl comes up and says, do you know where I can find a glue gun? I paused and just kind of looked at my shirt and I said, you mean at this store or like at Target?

And she just stared at my name tag for a long time and sighed a heavy sigh and quietly said, sorry, I don't know where I am. Oh, poor girl. Totally throw me off. Um,

yeah, there's another one where it's, uh, uh, a teacher. They go, this happened a few days ago. Sorry for the formatting. I'm on my phone.

I work as a substitute teacher at various local high schools. I'm 24, but obviously look younger, according to this teacher. So the angry teacher comes up to me and goes, why aren't you in uniform and no phones during school? I thought he was talking to a student, so I ignored him. Then he goes, excuse me, don't ignore me. He said, as he snatched my phone out of my hand i respond what the fuck give that back i'm not a student teacher says that's detention for swearing at a teacher you will get your phone back at the

end of the day now you will come down to the office and tell the principal about how disrespect disrespectful you're being by this point i thought it would be funnier to let him complain to the principal who i play netball with and watch his reaction he was raging saying i deserve to be suspended and that students always had their phones out yada yada the principal and i were just trying not to laugh before she told him i was a teacher too uh i say now give me my phone back don't you have class to teach because i do i've never seen anyone get so red oh that is so awkward. Big, scary man. She wasn't scared by him. Yeah, the principal.

But I was scared. She and the female principal were like, yeah, fuck you, dude. Yeah, but I was scared. Rasha, we need to talk. Can I say one thing? My friend was at Zara, and she has impeccable style and she was just standing around I wasn't there and a woman went up to her and tugged on her shirt looking for a tag she thought she was a mannequin yo I'm not even making that up that's cool she she has impeccable style and

when she stands she'll stand like very like she'll you know she'll stand like very like. She'll stand, you know, she'll stand still for like 20 minutes. A woman went up to her and looked on her shirt for a tag and she was like, oh, oh,

oh. And she's like one of the funniest women ever and apparently she was like, I'm not a mannequin. And the lady was like, oh, okay.

She needed her to talk. She's like, wait, sorry, what did you say? Oh, okay. I think the woman was like, uh, okay. Oh, got it. She needed her to talk. She's like, wait, sorry, what did you say? Oh, okay, got it. I think the woman was like, ugh, and just walked away. You know, like at a mall or like Zara,

like people are like a little like so aloof. Oh, yeah. I think she literally didn't even like become a human at that point. Oh, I relate. She became the mannequin. Yes. Wow.

I'm in a weird fugue state when I'm at a mall. Yeah, you want to die. And you're always starving. I love the mall. You are always hungry. I hate the mall. It's so fun. I don't love the mall too much. I hate the mall. It's a little stressful for me. I love the malls. You're always starving. You're in a rush

but not really. But you have everything you need around you. I wonder if there's like a psychological, have you ever, this reminds me of, and we'll end it on this note. It's kind of the same thing where whenever you go to a bookstore, you have to shit.

It's a real thing. It's a real thing. It's a real thing. I think it's because your brain is like, oh, relaxing. I'm not alone on this. In the comments, sound off if when you go to a bookstore,

it suddenly makes you have to use the bathroom. How many bathrooms have you destroyed in bookstores, Shane? None. I feel like they don't even have good bathrooms. No, they don't. Oh, I would say that. But it's a thing, and I've experienced it, where it's just like, I don't have to.

And then I go to a bookstore, and I'm looking around the bookstore, and all of a sudden, I'm just like, what the fuck? It's a good laxative. Maybe it's because people sometimes read on the loo, you know? Who reads on the loo? Before phones, that's what I do.

I think we've had this conversation where I'm like, how long does it take some people? Because for me, it's quick. Oh, I will set up camp. Hours. I'm in and out like Superman going into a phone booth. Wow. I take like the day. That's awesome. Oh yeah, like Tuesdays.

Yeah, done. Tuesdays are your shit days. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, this has been a blast. Weird subreddits, weird combos, the best. Thank you for exploring subreddits with me. Yeah, you're welcome. Thanks for joining us, Arasha.

Thank you. I hope we are all a little less scared of each other now. Well, I hope your plan doesn't come to fruition and you don't attack one of us. It won't be you guys. I'm asking you to be on my team and we will attack the rest of the cast. Okay. Great.

We can make it more of like an experiment where we don't do just one cast member but we actually do all of them. And that way we can like collect some data on who's more afraid of big scary women. Let's ask Greta if we should do that. Yeah, let's terrify the rest of our cast. That should go well.

I definitely won't end up getting divorced in that process. All right, fine. You guys are part of the cast now, so I'm just gonna do this alone. Oh, great. Great. All right. Okay.

We'll keep an eye out for that. Thank you, Arasha'm just gonna do this alone. Oh, great. Great. All right. Okay. We'll keep an eye out for that. Thank you, Arasha. Thank you. And thank you all for watching. Let us know if there's other subreddits that I should cover the next time we do this. Yes. Tell me the weird ones.

Yes. All right. Tell us how to kiss. Yeah, and tell us how to kiss. All right. Bye. Bye.