Smosh Mouth - #62 - The Performance Of A Lifetime

Episode Date: September 16, 2024

The theatre kids have escaped and got the cheerleader and the jock to act out some Shakespeare. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Get Rocket Money today at http://RocketMoney.com/SMOSHMOUTH 0:00 Intro 10:36 Football Intermission 13:46 The Taming of the Shrew cold read SUBSCRIBE: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshCast WEAR OUR JOKES: https://smosh.com WHO YOU SEE Shayne Topp // https://www.instagram.com/shaynetopp/ Amanda Lehan-Canto // https://www.instagram.com/filmingamanda/ Chanse McCrary // https://www.instagram.com/phatchanse/ Angela Giarratana // https://www.instagram.com/angelagiovanagiarratana/ WHO YOU DON’T SEE (usually) Director: Selina Garcia Editor: Andre Gardere Producer: Amanda Lehan-Canto, Shayne Topp, Selina Garcia Production Designer: Cassie Vance Art Director: Erin Kuschner Assistant Art Director: Josie Bellerby Art Coordinator: Alex Aguilar Prop Assistant: Courtney Chapman Wardrobe Assistant: Elizabeth Park Audio Mixer: Scott Neff Audio Mixer: Jose Perez A2 Utility: Dina Ramli Director of Photography: Brennan Iketani Camera Operator: James Hull Camera Operator: Eric Wann Assistant Director: Alexcina Figueroa Executive Vice President of Production: Amanda Barnes Production Manager: Alexcina Figueroa Production Coordinator: Zianne Hoover Operations & Production Coordinator: Oliver Wehlander Production Assistant: Ovsana Tsaturian Post Production Manager: Luke Baker DIT/Lead AE: Matt Duran IT: Tim Baker Director of Design: Brittany Hobbs Graphic Designers: Ness Cardano, Monica Ravitch Senior Manager, Channel & Strategy: Lizzy Jones Channel Operations Coordinator: Audrey Carganilla Director of Social Media: Erica Noboa Social Creative Producer: Peter Ditzler, Tommy Bowe Merchandising Manager: Mallory Myers Social Media Coordinator: Kim Wilborn Talent Coordinator: Selina Garcia Operations PA: Katie Fink Operations PA: Jordanne Guidry CEO: Alessandra Catanese EVP of Programming: Kiana Parker Coordinator Producer of Programming: Marcus Munguia Executive Coordinator: Rachel Collis OTHER SMOSHES: Smosh: https://smo.sh/Sub2Smosh Smosh Pit: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshPit Smosh Games: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshGames El Smosh (Spanish Dub): https://smo.sh/Sub2ElSmosh FOLLOW US: TikTok: https://smo.sh/TikTok Snapchat: http://smo.sh/OnSnapchat Instagram: https://instagram.com/smosh Facebook: https://facebook.com/smosh Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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They have the receipts. Get 25% off at ritual.com slash clinical. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Welcome to Smosh Mouth. I'm Shane. And I'm Amanda. And we have two very, very special guests with us. Angela, Johanna, and Chansungha.

Hello. Hello. Hello, players. Hello, players of the court. Today we will be doing a performance, a cold read of an abridged version of Taming of the Shrew. Yes, cold read to be exact. Yes, correct.

Cold read because it's so frigid in here. Cold read because it's the first time we'll be seeing it and reading it live. Both. Might I say, Selina and Kiana worked on organizing this, but Selena highlighted everything and put our players right at the top, and her handwriting is fantastic. You probably can't see it if you're driving right now. Highlighting work in this is top notch.

Unbelievable. Incredible. Only fit for the queen. So we brought our two wonderful friends here who love Shakespeare. I think one loves Shakespeare a lot more than the other, which we'll find out. Yeah. Angela, please show us what you brought today. What did you bring?

I brought my complete works. Holy. Ew. And this is, okay, I brought my complete works in some of my journals. And one of my favorite books, Shakespeare is Life. So let me say, I have, say I have I people think I'm the Broadway musical nerd I'm that just happened since college I have loved Shakespeare since high school and have been a nerd for it in a big big big big big big way yeah so I really never

want to hear you bully anyone for being a nerd again yeah that's and this is important to do this and this is important to do this Because the bullying happens off it happens a lot. No, you're right. It's a lot So I see at the bottom there you have the is that my complete works that this is one of mine You have multiple complete works of Shakespeare I have one that's really old that I really care a lot about if you guys can't see this the pages are gold Yeah, well, this is like a shitty version because here's the thing. All of, all of Shakespeare's texts, it depends on the translation and who,

not the translation, but the, the version because there's a lot of different versions of the texts from time, from people editing stuff, people taking things out.

So there's, yeah. So this is a shitty, a shitty one, but this is one I had when I was at, I studied in Oxford when I studied abroad, and I did Bada. You studied in Oxford? Yeah, and these are some of my journals from it. Y'all don't know Angela.

How long were you at Oxford? It was a full summer. That's really cool, though. Oh, it was the best summer of my entire freaking life. Every morning I would wake up and we'd learn a new sonnet. And I love that so deeply. Do you remember any sonnets? I love that so deeply.

Sorry, no, that was really cool. No, don't give her that. It was so cool. And then at night we would drink. I can't make fun of you right now. I look like I both make really good oatmeal and really good ravioli. So what can I say?

I think we all look incredible. I'm actually loving this outfit. You look really good. You do. Yeah, you look awesome. The olive skin, I think. Thank you, guys. This is really gorgeous.

Thank you. But you have a bunch of journals. Yes, and these were just like from different, because then I also studied at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival, which is one of the best places in the world. Like I said, one has more Shakespeare love than the other. You have to go.

I would actually guess that Portland has more Shakespeare love than Luton by some miracle. And it is the best place in the entire world. It's so magical. So I have journals from there too. So I just brought them if we wanted to refer to them. But the text is alive, everyone. Can you read?

The text is magical. The text. Here's the thing. What's crazy is I love Shakespeare, but I can't read for shit. Okay? So this cold read is going to suck. But that's the thing. The text is alive.

So Shakespeare in the Park. This is Shakespeare at Smosh with Superfan. Yeah. And the text sings. And it's's melodic and it's beautiful. And when you think you have to pause, you don't. The words do. And the scansion of it all. When you scan this stuff sometimes, when you do like the, you can, there is so much nerding

out that you could do with just the words put together. I think it is real life magic. Okay. I am, I'm in awe. I just watched a play. Yeah. In that description. But when I read this out loud, I just want to say I'm going to be dog shit just like

you all. So. Hey, well, I think I will be great. No, for sure. I would have to study. I would like all these programs. I would like, I would wake up and have to study so much harder because it's just hard. Lots of big words. How do you

study Shakespeare? How do you actually get those lines down? There are so many different methods and rules. I remember just like learning at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival and in just like high school programs and stuff. There's so many different ways like Americans interpret Shakespeare so

differently, obviously. But like a lot of adaptations will add a lot of stuff to it. And that they say you just shouldn't. Do you study it with like the song in mind with like the rhythm of it in mind always? That's why they have you scan it. Because when you do the iambic pentameter, when things are verse versus prose, it's like, you really can hear the rhythm of the words. I truly never understood it. And I've read several Shakespeare plays. And I'll be honest, I was like, without the explanations on the side pages,

I'd be completely. It doesn't make sense. I struggle. What she said is right. It's because are you reading it to yourself? You have to say it. I would just be reading it to myself. I haven't gone like seen, heard.

It's meant to be heard. I know it's meant to be performed. Because then when you hear it, even just reading it, you can hear it. And the inflections and the proper. Actually, what I did start doing is I would start listening to the audiobook versions while I'm reading along. And then I'm like, okay, I get the tone of this scene a little bit more. But there's still so many.

And I understand that it's clever. The other day, I even got served a TikTok where someone said a Shakespeare line. It was the, I don't bite my thumb at you, sir, but I do bite my thumb. And I was like, what does that mean? Oh. Does it mean F you? I'm clicking you off. Does it mean F you?

Chance, did you also study Shakespeare? Yeah, in college and in high school. Yes. But not as extensively as Angela. That's okay. So you'll have to forgive me a little bit. But I mostly studied Hamlet and Macbeth and Romeo and Juliet. Ooh, Romeo and Juliet.

I loved Macbeth, bitch. Love Macbeth. Macbeth. This is my Lady Macbeth over here. Lady Macbeth. Oh, that's good. What are your favorite? Is Macbeth your favorite Shakespeare play?

I think Hamlet is my favorite, but Macbeth is pretty up there. What about you? Have you read them all? Yeah, most of them. King John is a deep cut that I love. Whoa. And not really read them all. I've seen a lot of them.

Okay. Or, yeah, yeah. I worked on them in class. Yeah. Because truly, honestly, I'd say, going back to what you said about reading it and being like, huh, if we all gathered around, drank some wine, and just read them, then you're going to fall in love with them. And you're going to know what they mean.

I think so. Like today. It's more fun like that than... Bring in the court jester with the wine. Yay! Nobody is coming. Sorry. Macbeth is top, top of the line because that was like the first one I fell in love with in high school. And then

Winter's Tale is my number one favorite. What is Winter's Tale about? It's so good and magical. Is it about a little princess sisters? Yes, and one lets it go. Is Olaf in it? Yes. But that one is the one where it has one of the only few stage directions in all of Shakespeare

when it says, exit, exit, preceded by a bear. Because someone gets eaten by a bear. Oh. Because there's almost no stage direction. I've gotten eaten proceeded by a bear, and because someone gets eaten by a bear. Oh. And he, because there's no, there's almost no stage direction. I've gotten eaten out by a bear. Bro. What?

Well, we probably needed that because we needed to wake him up. We probably needed that. I think. Even though my mind went so many places. What places did it go? Have you guys ever heard about how Shakespeare's head is missing? What? What?

His head is missing. They've done a scan of his grave, and there's no head. So they're like, someone took his head at some point. No way. Where is he buried? Can we get a Google search on that just to make sure I'm not wrong? Question, where is William Shakespeare buried? It starts with an S, because I visited it.

Scranton. Scranton? Scranton? Stop. Gloucester? Okay. Shakespeare's skull probably stolen by grave robbers. Study finds. A study finds that Shakespeare's skull was likely stolen.

And where was he buried? So someone's out there performing with it. Stratford. Stratford. Stratford. Stratford. Stratford upon Avon. Stratford.

Same as situate mass. Okay. Yeah. So there you go. But also it feelsford. Same as situate mass. Okay. Yeah. So there you go. But also it feels like. I need some Shakespeare stuff. What do they even do with the head?

They perform with it. Hamlet. Oh my God. Yes. To be or not to be. That's why I feel like it's a rumor because it's just that. That's awesome. That's crazy. So we're also wearing these frilly things around our neck.

And Shane was saying that these are protective from fleas. I heard once that they're for fleas and dandruff and stuff. That feels counterproductive. Like, if I had fleas, I wouldn't want them to fall into my collar right by my hair. We get a Google search on what the frilly, fluffy thing is. Don't you have a book with a guy with a

frill on it? Speaking of the man, the legend himself. Look at him. Honestly, Angela, I love how many books you have, and I know this is only like half your amount that you have. I love it. It was the changeable piece of cloth that could keep themselves, that could be laundered separately while your dress

or whatever you're wearing isn't getting dirty, but this is. So not to do it is to catch your makeup. It's like when girls put the makeup thing on their head. So it's a giant hand It is to catch your makeup. It's like when girls put the makeup thing on their head. So it's a giant handkerchief to protect your, like a giant bib that you're wearing the whole time. Excellent. Yes.

She loves it. She's going to start wearing this. I actually kind of want to start wearing this. And put it like up. I imagine their makeup was like so fucking powdery that it would get everywhere. Yeah. Loose. A rough.

A rough. They did not use a timer. Oh, you know people were looking like dog shit back then. And my favorite part of history is I feel like people were just hammered.

Oh, absolutely. And they smell. Until like the 1960s, I think everybody was drunk 24-7. And their teeth. Like, what did they brush with? Awful.

I feel like they had snuff boxes, too. Oh, yeah. What's that? It's like cocaine. But frankly, if I'm alive during the Renaissance, I'm getting hammered snuff boxes too What's that? It's like cocaine But frankly if I'm alive during renaissance I'm getting hammered So you know those old paintings with women with roses right here

They had it because they smelled so bad When they put a rose right here When you'd hug them that's what they would smell first Oh I love that But roses don't smell that pungent It'd be very potent Like any other name. By any other name. Before we get into this,

I was curious, you know, the NFL football season has started. I knew you were up to something. What is happening? I figured, you know, while we're all dressed like this, before we do Shakespeare, just to throw it out there for some people, some NFL predictions. Who do you think is going to win the Super Bowl this year?

Is Travis retired? No. No, I believe he's still going. I bet he's going to get it again. You want me to say... If you want to say the Kansas City Chiefs, that's a good prediction. They won the Super Bowl last time. It would be the third time in a row.

I think that would be a three-peat, which would be legendary. I just watched a documentary on Steve McNair. Because he died. He was murdered. Yes. I know that. Well, I guess I'll be watching this documentary. Yeah, it's good.

It's good. It's good. Not the type of NFL question I was asking. So the Tennessee Titans. Tennessee Titans. That's a bold choice. They're bad. You could make a lot of money on that.

I'm going to go with the Patriots because I'm a die. Although I know they're not going to do well. I know it. But I'm going to go with the Patriots because I'm a die. Although I know they're not going to do well. I know it. But I'm going to go with the Patriots. Okay. My brother's. Can we go to the Seahawks? Are they good?

Seahawks? They're not going to win. Wait, and that's Seattle, right? They're Seattle. They were okay, but they're probably not going to win. My brother was telling me the Dolphins this year look really good. Yeah, Dolphins is a good guess. Dan Marino.

He's not there anymore. He was there back in the 80s. Have I ever told you, Shane, I have a huge crush on Mike McDaniel, the coach of the Dolphins? Hilarious, yeah. I don't know why. He's really funny. Is he hot? He looks like a math tutor.

He just literally is the nerdiest guy, but he's a really good NFL coach. And I watch Hard Knocks, so it's my favorite show. That's your favorite show good NFL coach. And I watch Hard Knocks. It's my favorite show. Yeah. That's your favorite show? Great job. Okay. Well. Good guesses.

And then musical guest for the Super Bowl halftime show. Oh, this is fun. Guess? Because we don't know. No, you guys would like this. I don't think it's known yet. No. Do you think?

Do you know? Chapel Rowan. Do you know? No, not Chapel Rowan. Chapel Rowan would not do it. They go with the way to guess the Super Bowl halftime show is who will old people like and young people still

want to listen to. So it has nothing to do with if they have an album coming out? Miley Cyrus is never They're not going to do Miley. Why? I don't know if old people

like Miley. I think she's too young. But if she's got Dolly Parton on there. And Billy Ray Cyrus. She's fighting with Billy. Billy is not her friend right now.

Maybe this is the perfect opportunity for them to mint. I think he called her a slut. I think her father called her a slut. She's not a slut. I agree. I agree. But why would you want to perform with him?

And if she is, power to her. You know, they probably get a really good deal on Bruno Mars right now. He did just come out. He did just come out with a new. You know, he's betting on the Super Bowl predictions right now. He did just come out. He did just come out with a new. You know he's betting on the Super Bowl predictions right now. He has a new song with Lady Gaga, Die With a Smile. Didn't he already have a Super Bowl? Yes.

Well, he might be back. I think he performed in something. I think you can't do it twice. Oh, is it Chris Stapleton? No. Who? Chris Stapleton. No.

Do you think they're going to ask Taylor again? Because she said no, right? I feel like he literally does commercials for the NFL singing. Britney Spears is never doing anything. No, she's busy with nights. Katy Perry's already done it. Katy Perry on Woman's World. Yeah.

So shall we go over who we are, our cast? So we are about to cold read an abridged version of Taming of the Shrew, abridged by Bill Tordoff. And the Taming of the Shrew is by William Shakespeare. And each of us are going to be playing multiple roles. I will go over our roles and try to say the pronunciations as well as I can. I will basically be playing all men, mostly old and rich and one kind of young and hot. I will be playing Baptista,

a rich old gentleman, Vincencio, Vincencio, he's old, gentleman, Portuccio, hot suitor, gentleman, for Katarina, and Pedant, and Pedant, who's also old, gentleman. So Katerina. And pedant.

And pedant, who's also old, gentleman. So a bunch of crungles. Nice, yeah. Yeah, baby. Okay. Hello, I'll be playing Grimio, Tranio, Groomio, and the tailor, who I imagine has one line. But we need him for that. Taylor Swift.

Okay, has she done the Super Bowl? Taylor Swift? Taylor Swift? She famously said no last time. She might be busy. I don't think she's going to. She has not. Unless, Travis, unless the Chiefs get in there. Yeah.

Can you imagine? I'm not even a Swifty, but that would be incredible. Whoa. Okay, go ahead. Okay, I'm playing Lucentio, Hortensio, Curtis, Bianca, and the haberdasher Curtis just sounds funny in the middle of all of it I love it Biondello, Petruchio, Curtis

Robert Okay, robber I knew you were going to say that Robber I will be doing stage directions as well as reading for Biondello, a young servant to Lucentio, Lucentio, uh, Catarina,

the shrew, daughter of Baptista. Big casting, you booked it. I know, guys. I, the shrew. It must be her senior year. That's so crazy.

And I'm also playing, No, it's her junior year and it's an upset. It's huge. Yeah. I'm also playing, Amanda, you, browse my wares. Amanda You

Brows by wares What did you say? I said brows by wares Potion seller Potion seller Potion seller I need your strongest potion If I laugh too much

It'll fall out Ew, ew, ew, ew This is maybe The most disgusting Mustache I've ever seen At Smosh. It looks so real. It looks so real.

Well, continue, Shane. Brendan immediately went for the camera. He's like, I got to capture this on. It looks so real, Amanda. You look so much. You look like a different person. Do I look like my papa? I'm really confused.

Ew, ew, ew. Okay, lastly, lastly, I'm playing Widow, and it says a middle-aged lady. Good. Middle-aged lady,

the oldest anyone had ever been. Everyone dies at age 40. So, well, let's say this real quick. I now have a full mustache, which makes sense. With the audio listener at home.

I have a mustache and a... And a goatee. Goatee. Don't we call it a saver? No. That is a goatee. A flavor saver? A flavor saver?

That's a full... That's disgusting. Anyways, guys, Taming of the Shrew is kind of like 10 Things I Hate About You if you're not a Shakespeare fan, okay? So, we all, all the men want Bianca, but in order to date Bianca,

the father says they must date Katarina, who is the shrew, and we will be taming the shrew. Oh. Let us begin. Guys,

let the words do the work, okay? Are we doing British or Italian? I'm doing different. I'm doing some adaptations. I'm doing different. British.

It comes out of my mouth. In high school, my Macbeth was a steampunk version. So you never know. Oh. They say English accents at this time sounded more southern than what they sound like now. Great. Okay. Scene one.

A public place in Padua. A flourish of trumpets. Enter Lucentio and Tranio. Tranio, I am arrived here from Pisa by my father Vincenzo's leave. With thee, my trusty servant in Padua, I'll study the philosophy of virtue. But good master,

while virtue we admire, no profit grows where is no pleasure ta'en. In brief, sir, study what you must most affect. Grammar sees, Tranio. Well dost thou advise. But stay a while.

What company is this? Enter Baptista, Caterina, Bianca, Hortensio, and Gramio. Lucentio and Tranio stand aside. A hot bombshell enters the villa. Ah! Gentlemen, how firmly I am resolved, you you know not to bestow my youngest daughter before i have a husband for the elder she's too rough for me is it your will sir to make a stale of me among these mates no mate for me unless you milder be. Oh my goodness.

But if I were, doubt not my care should be to comb your noddle with a three-legged stool and paint your face and use you like a fool. That wench is stark mad or wonderfully forward. But in the other's silence I do see maid's mild behavior and sobriety. To Bianca. Stay you within and let it not displease you, for I will

love thee, nonetheless, my girl. My books and instruments shall be my company. Because in music and poetry she delights, schoolmasters will I keep within my house, and so farewell. Katerina,

you must stay. Why? And I trust I may go too, may I not? If I like one... What? Sorry. Oh my god. If I like a man to teach my sweet Bianca, I'll wish him her... I'll wish him to her father. So

will I. One other thing. If we are again to be happy rivals in Bianca's love, we must labor to get a husband for her father. So will I. One other thing. If we are again to be happy rivals in Bianca's love, we must labor to get a husband for her sister. Is there any man such a fool as to be married to a devil? Why, man, there be fellows would take her, even her, with money

enough. Let us stay friends and help the elder daughter to wed, then to our contest afresh. I am agreed. I would give anything to him to who would wed her and rid the house of her. Exit Gremio and Hortensio. I perish if I achieve not this girl. I pray, awake, sir, if you love this maid, bend your minds, achieve her. Till the eldest marry, your love must live a maid

at home. But her father took some care to get her schoolmasters. I shall be her schoolmaster. Not possible, for who shall bear your part and be Padua here Vincencio's son? I have it. We are not yet known

here, for man or master, thou shalt be master in my stead. Take thou my hat and cloak. They exchange hats and cloaks. I'll be a slave to achieve her. Here's Biondello. Enter Biondello. He stands staring open-mouthed from one to the other. How now, master? Has my fellow Tranio stolen your clothes? To save my life, he puts my apparel on. For in a quarrel I killed a man, and I fear I was descried.

You understand? Near a wit. When we were alone, why, then, I am Tranio. But in all places else, you're Master Lucentio. Tranio, let's go. One more thing to do. To make thyself one amongst these wooers. My reasons are both good and weighty. Come!

Exit. Scene two. Before Hortensio's house. Okay, so wait. They're switching places? Yeah, so they're like, they'll have school teachers in the house. They're like, well, we'll just get her,

while we get Katharina married, well, we can be teachers. So they're just finding a way, they're finding a way into the house to hang out with Bianca. Yeah. In the meantime, while they're trying to figure out how to get Katerina married off. Yeah, these boys want to get in the house. Fun little folly. Yeah.

Yeah. Scene two. Before Hortensio's house, enter Petruchio and Grumio. Padua and my friend Hortensio's house. Here, sirrah, Groomio. Knock, I say. Groomio knocks. Enter Hortensio. Groomio and my good

friend Petruchio. What happy gale blows you from Verona? I come to wive and thrive as best I may. Now's though one rich enough to be my wife. I can help thee to a young and wealthy wife. Her only fault, she's an intolerable curse.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Tell me her father's name and I will board her. Her father is Baptista Manola. Her name is Katharina Manola. I will go with thee, for in Baptista's house my treasure is the beautiful Bianca. But this order hath Baptista

given, that none shall have access to Bianca, till Katharina the cursed have a husband. You shall offer me as a schoolmaster, that I may have leisure to make love with her. 1776. New York City.

Alexander. Pad you up. Enter Gremio with Lucentio disguised as Gambio, a scholar. Petruchio, it is the rival of my love. They stand aside. For the listener at home, I'm changing Gremio's voice because it sounds too much like Tranio. And you see, you read no other books to her but books of love. God save you, Senor Grimio.

Well, Matt. Senor. I bring this young woman skilled in poetry to be a schoolmaster for Bianca. Tis well, and I have met a gentleman half helped me to find a musician to instruct Bianca, so beloved of me. Beloved of me, and that my deeds shall prove. Tis no time to vent our love. This gentleman would undertake to woo cursed Katharina. Who is he? Does he know her faults? Born in Verona, old Antonio's son. I know

she is an irksome, brawling scold. But will you woo this wildcat? Ha, I have heard great ordinance, la rums, trumpets, and do you fright me with a woman's tongue? I promised him we'd bear his charge of wooing. And so we will. Enter Tranio, bravely clad as Lucentio and Biondello. Perhaps. What have you to do? Not her that shied, sir, I pray. I love no childers, sir. Pinaldio, let's away.

Starting to go. Are you a suitor to the younger, yeah or no? For she's the chosen of Signor Hortensio. She's a chosen lover of Signor Gramio. I here hath, no, fuck me. I here hath one famous for her scolding tongue and one for her beauteous modesty. The first one's for me, the youngest,

whom you seek is kept within until the elder wed. Then you are our man, sir. If you achieve the elder, we will not ungrateful be. Let's quaff carousel, carouses, carouses, to our mistress's health. Oh, excellent motion. Let's be gone. Exit. This is so good.

Scene three. Baptista's house. Enter Katerina and Bianca with her hands bound. Oh. Good sister. Wrong me not. Stop. Unbind my hands.

Of all thy suitors, whom loves thou best? Thinks thou old Gremio will keep you fair? Nay then, you jest. Pray, Kate, untie my hands. If that be jest, then all the rest was so.

That's right. That's right. Did I fucking hit you? No. Enter Baptista, who unties Bianca. Why dost thou wrong her that dear near wrong thee? Nice. Bianca runs out, weeping. She is your

treasure. She must have a husband. I will find occasion for revenge. Katerina exits. Enter Gremio with Lucentio as a poor scholar, Petruchio with Hortensio as a musician, and Tronio with Biondello, bearing a lute and books. Good morrow, Signor Baptista.

Good morrow, Signor Gremio. God save you, gentlemen. And you, good sir, pray, have you not a daughter called Katerina fair and virtuous? I have a daughter sir called Katerina. My name is Petruchio of Verona

sir that hearing of her mildness and her beauty do here present you with a man of mine cunning in music his name is Licio you're welcome sir sir, but not for Caterina. She is not for your turn.

The mall's my grief. Let us that our poor petitioner speak too. I freely give you young Cambio as cunning in language as other in music. Welcome, good Cambio. Gentle sir, may I be so bold

as to know the cause of your coming? I make myself a suitor to Bianca, too. Pray accept this instrument and these Greek and Latin books. Lucentio of Pisa is my name. Oh, you are welcome, sir. Take you the loot, and you the set of books.

My daughters wait. He indicates the next chamber. Exit Hortensio, Lucentio, and you the set of books my daughters wait. He indicates the next chamber. Exit Hortensio, Lucentio, and Biondello. Signor, if I get your daughter's love, what dowry shall I have with her to wife? After my death, the one half of my lands, and in possession twenty thousand crowns. I'll assure you, if she survives me, of all my lands and leases, whatsoever.

Red flag. Literally red flag. Red flag. Petruchio is a red flag right now. Kick him off the island. Can we go for a chat? Aye. Aye.

That is where. Aye. Fuck. I'm drunk. Aye. That is when her love is well obtained. Why, that is nothing. Katerina shrieks offstage.

Then a crash and a cry of pain from Hortensio. Oh! Go crash! Crash on hold. Go crash. Well, be thou armed for some unhappy words. Enter Hortensio with his head bleeding and the lute broken. Canst thou not break my daughter to the lute?

Why, no, for she hath broke the lute to me. Now by the world, it is a lusty wench. Oh, my God. Proceed in practice with my younger daughter. Signor, I shall send Katerina to you. Uh-oh. Exit Baptista, Gramio, Tranio, and Hortensio. Enter Katerina.

Two red flags in a room. Two red flags in a room. Literally. Good morrow, Kate, for that's your name, I hear. Yeah, they call me Katerina. They do talk to me. You lie in faith, for you are called Kate, but Kate the prettiest Kate

in Christendom. Kate of Kate Hall, my super dainty Kate. Ew. Hearing thy mildness praised, I've moved to woo thee. Moved? I knew you were a movable.

Why? What's a movable? A joint stool. Oh, Fucking oh! Yeah! Thou hast hit it Come sit on me Jesus Christ!

Get ready for this! Asses are made to bear and so are you Women are made to bear and so are you That's fucked up Come come come come, you wasp. Come on. You are too angry.

If I be waspish, best beware my sting, bitch. God, this is good shit. This is good fucking shit. Who knows not where a wasp doth wear his sting? In his tail. He stands and grabs her in his tongue. Yeah, I hit you too. I swear I'll cuff you if you strike me again. If you strike me, you are no gentleman. Nay, come, Kate. In sooth, you scrape not so. Ah, I chafe you. If I tarry, let me go. Twas told me you were rough and coy and sullen,

but thou art pleasant, sweet as springtime flowers. Wherefore didst study all this goodly speech? To use it in thy bed, for will you kneel you? Thou must be married to no man but me, for I am born to tame you,

Kate. He keeps hold of her hand. Enter Baptista Gremio Intranio Now, senor How speed you with my daughter My God How but well, sir We've agreed that upon Sunday is the wedding day Ha ha, ring-ring-ring

I'll see thee hanged on Sunday first Huh Tis bargain twixt us twain Being alone That she shall still be cursed in company on Sunday first. Huh. Tis bargain twixt us twain being alone that she shall still be cursed in company. But how she doth

love me. She hung about my neck and kiss on kiss she gave so fast. What's so crazy is this is like the first,

like this is, he like, the enemies to lovers trope. This is like one of the first. And every single fucking story

has something like this or friends to lovers and that's all the fucking bard, baby. It's so true and this is like one of the first and every single fucking story has something like this or friends to lovers and that's all the fucking bard baby it's so true and this is kind of my favorite story enemies to lovers we love that how fun that they go toe-to-toe because it's just fun to see a woman also you know yeah back in the day you know what i mean smack yeah they have banter we have a good volley going on. It's so good. Repartee. Repartee.

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Get 25% off when you visit ritual.com slash clinical. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. So at this whole time, Petruchio is holding Katerina's arm and I finally release it. My goodness. Give thee my hand, Kate. I will unto Venice to buy

apparel against the wedding day. God send you joy, Petruchio, to the match. Father and wife and gentlemen adieu. We will have rings and things and find a ray. And kiss me, Kate. We will be married, oh, Sunday.

Exit Petruchio and Katerina separately. A fun little rhyming couplet. When people leave sometimes, it's two little rhymes. Just like Hamilton. Wait, say that again. And find a ray. We will be married, oh, on Sunday. two little rhymes. Just like Hamilton. Wait, say that again? In fine array, we will be married, oh, on Sunday.

When you leave. I love that. Great. You should start speaking in couplets when you leave a room. Yeah. In fine array, and kiss me Kate,

we will be married, oh, Sunday. Got it. Exit Petruchio and Katerina separately. And now, Baptisia, to your youngest daughter. Who assures her greatest hour shall have her love.

First, as you know, my house within the city is richly furnished with plate and gold. If I may have your daughter to my wife, I'll leave her houses three or four as good as any old Signore Gremio house. Oh, my God. The stepmother. She's here. Oh my god. I have an arousing lying in Maris Hill Road. My father has three great arouses.

Orgosies. Something. Homes. Big homes. These will I assure you wherever thou offer next. Nay. I offer it all. I have no more. Why, thy, the maid is mine.

By your firm promise. Oh, on Sunday, Caterina is to be wed. Now on the Sunday following, shall Bianca be bride to you if your father make assurance, if not to Signor Gremio, good day. Exit Baptista and Gremio. I see no reason but suppose Lucentio must get a

father called suppose Vincentio. Scene four. Baptista's house. Enter Bianca with Lucentio as Cambio, followed by Hortensio and Licio. I'm about to do a scene with all three of my characters

talking to each other. I love it. This is gonna be awesome. Fitter, forbear, have you so soon forgot how Sister Katharina welcomed your withdrawal? When in music

we two have spent an hour, your lecture shall have leisure for as much. Sirs, to end this strife, here we sit down. Bianca and Lucentio sit together. Take you your instrument, play you the wiles. His lecture will be done ere you have turned.

Hortensio reluctantly retires and tunes his lute. Where left we last? Opening a book and pretending to read it. I am Lucentio, son of Vincentio of Pisa, and the Lucentio that comes a-wooing is my man Tranio. Madam, my instrument is in tune. Spit in the hole, man,

and tune again. I know you not. I trust you not. Take heed, he hear us not. Presume not, presume not, despair not. Madam, tis now in tune. All but the bass.

The bass is right. Tis the bass nave that jars. In time I believe, yet I mistrust. But let it rest. Now, litio, to you. Hortensio changes places with Lucentio, smiling smugly. I see our fine musician groweth amorous. Madam, here's the work in writing, fairly drawn.

Bianca, take me for thy lord, that loves with all affection. One clef, two notes have I. Show pity or I die. I like it not. Farewell, both. Tomorrow's wedding day. And I have no cause to stay but I have cause to pry into this pendant

yay excellent that was incredible can we can we can one of us give like a a quick synopsis of what just happened yeah

they were both trying to woo her yeah and one was trying to woo her with books and the other was trying to woo her with books. And the other was trying to woo her with music. She said, I don't like either of you. And I love that. These women are strong.

Scene five. Before Baptista's house enter Baptista, Trano, Caterina, Bianca, and Lucentio. This is the day that Caterina should be wed. And yet we hear not of our son-in-law. I told you that he was a frantic fool. He never meant to wed where he hath wooed. Would I had never seen the man. Exit weeping, followed by Bianca, enter Biondello.

Petruchio is coming, wearing a new hat and an old jerkin, a thrasher t-shirt, a pair of old britches, broken boots, apple-bottom jeans, boots with the fur, and an old rusty sword on a sway-backed horse with an old mothy saddle. And Crocs in sport mode. So he's coming fast. Nice Crocs! Who comes with him?

His lackey, for all the world caparisoned like the horse. I am glad he's come. How soe'er he comes. Enter Petruchio and Grumio. I'm here, but where is Kate? Where is my lovely bride? Sir, you know this is your wedding day.

See not your bride in these irreverent robes. To me she's married, not onto my clothes. But I must bid good morrow to my bride and seal the title with a lovely kiss. Exit Petruchio and Grumio. Let's after him and see the event of this. Exit Baptista and Grumio. Sir, to Bianca's love must add her father's liking. I must get a man who shall be Vincentio and make assurance of a pricely sum.

So shall you marry Bianca with consent. T'were good, methinks, to steal our marriage. No, we have vantage in this business. We'll overreach the amorous Licio. Licio. Licio. Licio. Licio.

To Father Manola and Gremio, all our masters sake, Lincendio. Church bells peal. Enter Gremio, shaking his head in disbelief. Is the bride and bridegroom coming here? A bridegroom, say you? Why, he's a devil. When the

priest asked if he should be his wife, I by God's wounds, quoth he, and swore so loud that priest let the fall book. And then he fetched him such a calf that down fell priest and book and all. He's a fucking loser. Then he called for wine and kissed the bride with such a smack that all the church did echo. You ever kiss so hard that you echo the church? Such a bad marriage never was before.

Such a mad marriage. Enter Petruchio, Caterina, Bianca, Baptista, Grumio, and Hortensio. Is this mic on? Gentlemen and friends, that have beheld me, give myself to this most virtuous wife, the feast prepared, but I must hence in haste.

Now, if you love me, stay. Grumio, my horse. Do what you canst. I will not go today. The door is open, sir. There lies your way. O Kate, content thee, prithee, be not angry. I will be angry. What hast thou to do? Baptista tries to interrupt. Father, shut the fuck up.

Okay. He shall stay my leisure, gentlemen. Forward to the bridal dinner. They shall go forward, Kate, at thy command. Go to the feast, revel and domineer. But for my Bonnie, Kate, she must with me. Here she stands. Touch her

whoever dare. Groomio, draw thy weapon. Rescue thy mistress. Fear not, sweet wench. They shall not touch thee. Petruchio drags the bewildered Katerina out. Groomio menacing the guests. Mistress, what's your opinion of your sister?

That being mad herself, she's madly mated. Lutensio shall supply the bridegroom's place and let Bianca take her sister's room. Exit. Scene six, Petruchio's country house. Enter Groomio, shivering. Let's give some spark notes on that last scene. So they talked about the wedding.

They were like, that wedding was nuts, dude. So Petruchio was... Why did Petruchio feel like he needed to pull Katarina away so intensely? Trying to match her freak. Petruchio's trying to match Katarina's freak, and that's when Bianca was like, she's mad mated so that makes sense So they might be a good match Maybe

Scene six Petruchio's country house Enter Groomio shivering Hello Curtis Okay who the hell is Curtis Okay here we go Oh my god I can't wait Is my master and his wife coming Groomio

Oh my god, I can't wait. Is my master and his wife coming, Groomio? Oh my god. Oh! Oh! Aye! Curtis, aye! And therefore, fire, fire. Is she so hot as true as she's reported? She was before this frost, but fire for we are frozen to death.

There's fire ready, and therefore the news. First, my master and mistress have fallen out. Ow. Oh, out of their saddles and therefore the news. First my master and mistress have fallen out. How? Out of their saddles and into the dirt. We came down for a foul hill, and my mistress's horse fell into a miry place. And she under the horse. And she under the horse.

Master left her with her horse upon her. And he beat me because the horse he had stumbled. She waded through to the dirt to pluck me off me. Him off me. To pluck me. To pluck him off me. He swore. She prayed.

I cried. And the horse ran away. Wow. He swore. She prayed. I cried. And the horse ran away. She cried.

She prayed. I cried. And the horse ran away. Love that. Enter Petruchio and Katerina, her skirt bedraggled and dirty. Bedraggled. Where is Curtis? Yes, sir.

Here, sir, you logger-headed groom. Where is the foolish knave I sent before? Here, sir, as foolish as I was before. Go, rascals, go and fetch my supper in. Curtis and Groomio hurry out. Katerina stands frozen. Where is the life that late I led? Where are these?

Sit down, Kate, and welcome. Enter Curtis with a tray of supper things and puts it down. Jesus Christ, be merry, Kate. My God, I just fucking sang. Shall I have some meat? Enter Groomio with plates of meat, which he sets down. Come, Kate, sit down. I know you have a stomach. Katerina sits. Tis burnt, and so is all the meat. How durst you villains! Serve it to me thus. He throws the plates, etc., at them. They gather

them up and run off. I pray you, husband, be not so disquiet. The meat was well if you were so contented. I tell thee, Kate, t'was burnt and dried away. So for this night we'll fast for company. Go, I'll see thee in the bridal chamber. Exit Katerina. I say all to you,

she ate no meat today, nor none shall eat. Last night she slept not, nor tonight she now she shall not. And thus I'll curb her mad and headstrong humor. Scene seven. Before Baptista's house, enter Tranio and Hortensio. Stand by and watch how Cambio teaches her. Enter Bianca and Lucentio.

What master read you? First resolve me that. I read that I profess the art to love. And may you prove, sir, master of your art, while you, sweet dear, prove mistress of my heart. He puts an arm around her. They retire. Unconceited womankind!

All leecho! I am not leech retire. Unconcealed womankind! All Licho! I am not Licho! I am Hortensio! He removes his disguise. I have heard of your affection to Bianca. Let us forswear this con-cos-ner and her love. I firmly vow never to woo her more. I'll wed a wealthy widow who hath long loved me. Mistress, I have forsworn you with Hortensio.

Then we are rid of Luchio. Biondello runs in. I have spied an ancient who will serve our turn. I know not what, but formal in apparel, in gait and countenance, surly like a father. I'll make him glad to see him, Vincencio, and give him

assurance to Baptista Molnola. Vincentio, Bianca, and Biondello hurry out. Enter a pedant. God save you! What a countryman, I pray? Of Mantua. Oh, of Mantua, sir. Merry God forbid. And come to Padua,

careless of your life. My life, sir? How I pray. Ah, our duke hath published and proclaimed till tis death for anyone of Mantua to come to Padua. But I have bills that I must here deliver. Do you know of Vincentio of Pisa? I know him not, but I have heard of him. He is my father, sir, and doth resemble you.

To save your life, tis favor will I do. His credit, his name and credit, shall you undertake. Tis you have done your business in the city. Ah, sir, I am in your debt forever. By the way, my father is here looked for, every day to pass assurance of a dowry. Okay, so, things are happening here. Yeah. So a lot of a dowry. Okay, so things are happening here. Yeah. So a lot of stuff just happened.

There's a reveal, right? I think it's pretty obvious. Yeah, it's happening. There's a lot of, this play has so much, and now I'll put this disguise on, and now you'll put this disguise on, and this one, yeah. Tell me, so the guy who was in disguise

was trying to get with Bianca. They both were, and they're both in disguise as tutors. One the tutor of music, one the tutor of... Oh, got it. And now the disguise has been revealed. Yes. But not to Bianca. Only to...

The father. Yes. Oh, no, to Bianca. No, to Bianca. Oh, to Bianca. Got it. And she's not happy. Yeah.

Okay. Okay. Fantastic. So they exit. Scene eight. Petruchio's house. Enter Groomio and Katerina. I am starved for meat, giddy for lack of sleep, with oaths keep waking, and with brawling fed. Enter Petruchio with a plate of meat.

Here, love. Thou seest how diligent I am to dress thy meat myself and bring it thee. Disgusting. What? Not a word? Take it away. I pray you, sir, let it stand, reaching for it. The poor service is repaid with thanks.

I'm probably playing the servant ensemble member going, Yeah, going back and forth and back and forth and I keep pulling it back. I thank you, sir. Yeah, good, good, and back and forth, and I keep pulling it back. I thank you, sir. Ew. Yeah, good, good, good. She's hungry.

We will return onto thy father's house with silken coats and caps and golden rings, with ruffs and cuffs and farthingales and things. Enter Haberdasher, carrying a small cap. I believe this is his only line, so... Here... is... Sorry, let me try it again. Here...

is the... Oh my god! Petruchio's just sitting there going... Imagine seeing a Shakespeare play that's flawlessly executed and then the guy who has one line can't get through it. Can't get through it. He's on his deathbed.

Here we go, here we go. He's like, this is my moment. Here is the cup your worship did bespeak. Okay. Is there something wrong with him? Thank you. Is he okay? Haberdasher, all right, thank you so much.

Honestly, you can take that vacation any time you want. Haberdasher, all right, thank you so much. Honestly, you can take that vacation anytime you want. Haberdasher, go home. Why, this is a toy. This is a baby's cap. But gentle women wear such caps as these. When you are gentle, you shall have one too. Oh, that's crazy. By the fucking nickel.

Sir, let me speak. I am no child, no babe. Why thou say'st true, it is a paltry cap. I love thee well, and that thou likest it not. Love me or like me not, I like the cap. And it

I will have, or I will have none. Enter Taylor carrying a gown. Ah, Taylor, what a devil's name dost thou call this? Tis made according to

the fashion of the time. Yeah. Great. I love the people I hired. I did not Where the fuck did you find this? Very far away. I did not bid you mar did you find this? Very far away I did not bid you mar it to the time I never saw a better fashioned gown

I tell thee I that he hath marred the gown Go take your bubbles hence And say no more Exit Taylor and Haberdasher Thank God God Finally

Fuck you guys They're so old God Well come My Kate For we will go tonight Dasher. Thank God. God. Finally. Fuck you guys. They're so old. God. Well, come, my Kate, for we will go tonight, even in these honest, mean, habblements, to dine and sport us to your

father's house. Exit. Scene nine. Before Baptista's house, enter Tranio and Pedant. Sir, this is the house. Please it you that I call. Aye, what else? Tis well. Hold your own.

Here comes your boy. Enter Biondello. Biondello, imagine twere the right Vincentio. What hast thou told Baptista? That you looked for your father here today. Good. Here comes Baptista. Set your covenant, sir. Enter Baptista and Lucentio.

Signor Baptista, you are happily met. I pray you, stand good father to me now. Sir, coming from Parwa, my son has told me of the love between your daughter and himself. I am content to have him matched. And if you agree, willing to have her so bestowed? Your plainness and your shortness please me well. And if you pass her a sufficient dower, your son shall have my daughter with consent. Then at my lodging this night let us meet.

There doth my father lie, and ain't like you, and ain't like you, will pass the business privately and well. Oh, relax me, will. Bondello, go tell Bianca. Are they talking about sex? Probably. Come, gentlemen. Wait, how she is like to be Lutentio's wife?

Exit Bondello. I think they're talking about money. Okay. Well, probably both things. Same thing. Same thing. Exit Biondello. Tranio.

Come, gentlemen. Exit Tranio, Pedant, and Baptista. Biondello runs back in. The old priest at St. Luke's Church is at your command. While they are busy about a counterfeit assurance, take your Bianca to the church. Exit separately. Scene 10.

A public road. Enter Petruchio, followed by Katerina, wary. Come, oh God's name, once more towards your fathers. Good Lord, how bright and goodly shines the moon. The moon. The sun, it is not moonlight now. Well, it shall be moon, or star, or what I list, or

I journey to your father's house. I say, it is the moon. I know, it is the moon. Ah, nay, then you lie. It is the blessed sun. In God's name, it's whatever you fucking say. Jesus. Okay,

chill. Don't have to make shit so hard. You're actually acting a little crazy right now. Okay, you're being crazy. Gaslight her. You're telling me that's the moon, and you're like, no, it's the sun. Baby, I'm having a good time. Why are you so up? Just like, we're just walking.

I'm like literally chilling. Let's just go to my dad's house. Okay, all right, chill. Enter Vincentio. Wait. Well, forward. You're not going to let me talk, babe? It's crazy. Oh, we both see him coming. Okay, well, forward. You're not going to let me talk, babe? It's crazy.

Oh, we both see him coming. Okay. Well, forward. But what company is coming? That's all I wanted to say. That's all I wanted to say. I saw him coming. Enter Vincentio.

Good morrow, Grand Sire. Whither journeys thou? Oh. My name is called Vincentio, my dwelling Pisa, and I am bound to Padua there to visit a son of mine which long I have not seen. I may entitle thee my loving father, the sister to my wife, this gentle woman. Yeah, right. Thy son hath married, one or not. Her dowry's wealthy.

She's of worthy birth. Should I put that in my Instagram wealthy. She's of worthy birth. Should I put that in my Instagram bio? She's of worthy birth. I love that. Fuck. And I'll put he's of worthy girth. Oh my God.

Yes, please. Holy shit. But is this true? Or travelers merriment? Come along and see the truth, hee-haw. Hear of. Scene 11. Vincentio is the real dad of Lungentio. Me.

The fake dad is... Pedant. You. Oh, my other guy. The creepy guy voice. There's a double of a bunch of characters right now. And it's all about to culminate and a bunch of lies will be revealed. So Pedant, the voice who's kind of creepy, is the fake dad.

Got it. This is our, I believe this is, we have two more scenes, but they're quick scenes. I feel like this is all going to come to a head right now. All right. Before Lucentio's house, enter Biondello, Lucentio, and Bianca. Surfly, sir, for the priest is ready. I'll see the church or your back, and then come back as soon as I can.

Exit Biondello, Lucentio, and Bianca. Enter Petruchio, Caterina, and Vincentio. This is Lucentio's house, sir. Vincentio knocks loud. The pedant looks out of the window. What's that? He knocks as he would beat down the gate?

I pray you, sir, tell Signor Vincentio that his father is at the door. Thou liest. Thou liest. His father is here looking out at... This is not the voice. Thou liest. His father is here looking out at the window. Art the voice. Thou liest, his father is here, looking out at the window. Art thou his father?

Ay, sir, so his mother says. Why, this is a flat knavery to take upon your another's man name. Lay hands on the villain. I believe a means to cozen somebody. Enter Biondello. He speaks to the audience. Mine old master Vincentio,

now we are undone. Come hither, crack-hemp! Have you forgot me, you rogue? I could not forget you, for I never saw you before. What? Dost thou never see thy master's father, Vincentio?

Yes, sir. See where he looks out of the window? Is it so? Help! Help! Here's a madman will murder me! He runs out. Help, son. Help, Signor Baptista.

Petruchio and Caterina stand aside and observe the action. Enter Baptista, Tranio, and pedant below. Sir, what are you that offer to beat my servant? What am I, sir? Nay, what are you? A silken doublet and a scarlet cloak? While I do count the change at home, my son and servant spend

all at the university. Why, sir, what it concerns it to you what I wear. I thank my father I am able to maintain it. Oh, that thy father is a sailmaker in Bergamo. You mistake, sir. What do you think his name is? I have brought him up since he was three, and his name is Trinio.

Away, his name is Lucentio, and son and heir to me, Signor Vincencio. Oh, he hath murdered his master. Tell me, where is my son, Lucentio? Call forth an officer. Carry him to the goal. Carry me to the goal, oh monstrous villainy. Enter Biondello with Lucentio and Bianca. Oh, we are spoiled and yonder he is. Deny him, forswear him, or else we are all undca. Oh, we are spoiled and yonder he is.

Deny him, forswear him, or else we are all undone. Pardon, sweet father. Lives my sweet son. Exit Tranio, Biondello, and Pedant as fast as may be. Pardon, dear father. Oh, pardon, dear father. How hast thou offended?

Where is Lucentio? Here is Lucentio, right son to right Vicentio, that have by marriage made thy daughter mine. Where is that damned villain Trenio? Why, tell me, is this not my Cambio? Cambio is changed into Lucentio. What Trenio did myself enforced him to do. Sir, have you married my daughter without my goodwill? Fear you not, Baptista. We will content you, but I will in to be revenge for this villainy.

And I, to sound the depth of this knavery. Look not pale, Bianca. Thy father will not frown. He exits. Husband, let's follow to see the end of this ado. Whoa, what an intense scene. Yeah. Shakespeare loved switcheroos.

He really liked a switcheroo. Yeah, and there's so many, but this one, this play has, there's a lot. There's a lot of switcheroos. There's a lot. That's why you need, like, IDs and, like, passports and shit. Can we get some name tags on these bitches? Back in the day, you could just put on a hat and you'd be like, I'm not that guy. Yeah, exactly. I'm a different guy. Come on, guys.

Scene 12. Last scene. Lucentio's house. Enter Tronio, Grumio, Biondello, Baptista, Vincentio, Gremio, Pedant, Lucentio, Bianca, Petruchio, Caterina, Hortensio, and Widow. Bombshell. Bombshell, enter Widow. Widow. And Widow.

My fair Bianca, bid my father welcome, while I with some self-same kindness welcome thine, brother Petruchio, sister Catarina, and thou Hortensio, with thy loving widow, pray you sit down and chat before we eat. All sit except for Trinio, Grumio, and Biondello. Nothing but sit and sit and eat and eat. I'm bored. How do I all afford this kindness, son Petruchio? For both our sakes, I would that that were true Now, for my life, Hortensio fears his widow

Hey, I'm the widow Shut the fuck up He that is giddy thinks the world turns round Oh my god I pray you, tell me what you mean by that Well, you see, your husband, being troubled with a shrew, measures my husband's sorrow by his woe, and now you know my meaning.

A very mean meaning. Right. I mean you. And I am mean, indeed, respecting you. That was fucking sick, what we just did back and forth right there. That was awesome. I just want you to all respect that. That was awesome. I just want you to all respect that. That was great. This dining table really quick.

Widow. I'm a widow. My husband fucking died. Okay. Yeah, sorry about that. I'd kill to see an episode of Love Island where they release a widow. A black widow.

Release? I love that she's being released. It's like instead of a bombshell, it's a widow. Release the widow. To her cape. Release the widow. To her Kate. To the groom. Just kidding.

To the widow. A hundred marks. My Kate does put her down. How likes Grimeo these quick-witted folks? They butt well together. Head and butt. A hasty-witted body would say your head and butt were head and horn i mistress bride hath that awakened you have at you for a bitter gesture to am i your bird

i mean to shift my bush okay you are welcome all exit bit Bianca, Caterina, and Widow. Now, in good sadness, son Petruchio, I think thou hast the veriest shrew of all. Well, I say now, let's each one send unto his wife, and he whose wife comes first shall win the wager. What is the wager? A hundred crowns. A hundred, then. Content. A match tis done. Who shall

begin? I. Go, Biondello. Bid your mistress come to me. Exit, Biondello. They wait. He soon returns. Sir, your mistress sends you word that she is busy and cannot come. How? She is busy and she cannot come? Is that an answer? Go andreat my wife to come to me forthwith. Exit beyondello. Oh, ho, entreat her. Then she needs must come. I am afraid, sir, yours will not be entreated. Enter beyondello. Sir, your wife says you have some jest in hand.

She will not come. She bids you come to her. She will not come. She bids you come to her. She will not come? Go to your mistress. Say I command her to come to me. Exit Groomio. She will not come. Now by my holy name, here comes

Katerina. Enter Katerina. She crosses to Petruchio. What is your will, sir, that you send for me? Go fetch your sister and Hortensio's wife. Okay, cool. Exit, Katerina. The wager thou hast won, and I will add another dowry.

20,000 crowns! Oh. Nay, I will win my wager better yet. Enter Katerina, leading Bianca and Widow, scowling. Katerina, tell these women what duty they do owe. Oh, that's a good speech. Fie, fie! Unknit that threatening, unkind brow,

and dart not scornful glances at your lord, who labors for you both by sea and land, while thou liest warm at home, secure and safe. My mind hath been as big as one of yours. My heart is great, my reason happily more. To bandy word for word and frown for frown, but now I see our lances are but straws. So place your hands below your husband's foot, in token of which duty if he please.

My hand is ready, if it do him ease. Why, there's a wench. Come on and kiss me, Kate. Now come, Kate, we'll to bed. We thee are married, but you too are sped. Twas I won the wager, though you hit the white. And being a winner,

God give you good night. End of play. I think that was actually good night moon. Good night, no, it was the sun, man. It was the sun. Wow. I understood some of it. Yeah.

I knew what was going on sometimes. I feel like Bianca's story didn't get wrapped up. Yeah, she's just like the girl. Is that the abridged version maybe? I am leaving these men. Kind of screwed her over. Behind. Oh.

Wow. Wow. Oh my God, Amanda. You're back. I'm back. Hello. How was the play? It was crazy.

So anyways, do you think the Dolphins are going to win the Super Bowl? I think they're going to go close. I think they're going to get close. They could definitely make it. I think they're going to go close. I think they're going to get close. They could definitely make it. I think they could make it. Guys, that was Shakespeare at Smosh with our wonderful friends Angela and Chance and Sean. Thank you, Amanda. I hope you all enjoyed this. Yes.

This was an experiment. Please, let's do a tragedy. Oh, I'm into that. Gosh, okay. Yeah, put in the comments if you guys want us to do another play and maybe it is a tragedy. Please. So we do this story of Angela's prom.

Oh. That took so long for me to get there. Hilarious because I was prom queen. Fuck you. Were you really? Whoa.

And that's where the tragedy began. Whoa. Okay. We'll see you guys later. The tragedy will happen when the camera turns off. Good morrow, ho. What?

Good morrow. Good morrow, wench.