Smosh Mouth - #63 - Reading Even More Weird Subreddits

Episode Date: September 23, 2024

We're back with browsing weird Subreddits and we have Noah and Keith here to determine just how weird it can get. To get your new 3-month premium wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to https://mintmobile.com/SMOSHMOUTH ! Go to http://Zocdoc.com/SMOSHMOUTH to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. 0:00 Intro 4:10 Diving into the Subreddits! 21:06 Getting into hypotheticals 44:29 Scrolling through more Subreddits SUBSCRIBE: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshCast WEAR OUR JOKES: https://smosh.com WHO YOU HEAR Shayne Topp // https://www.instagram.com/shaynetopp/ Keith Leak Jr. // https://www.instagram.com/keithleakjr/ Noah Grossman // https://www.instagram.com/noahgrossman214/ WHO YOU DON’T HEAR (usually) Director: Selina Garcia Editor: Rock Coleman Producer: Amanda Lehan-Canto, Shayne Topp, Selina Garcia Production Designer: Cassie Vance Art Director: Erin Kuschner Assistant Art Director: Josie Bellerby Art Coordinator: Alex Aguilar Prop Assistant: Courtney Chapman Wardrobe Assistant: Elizabeth Park Audio Mixer: Scott Neff Audio Mixer: Jose Perez Director of Photography: Brennan Iketani Camera Operator: James Hull Assistant Director: Alexcina Figueroa Executive Vice President of Production: Amanda Barnes Production Manager: Alexcina Figueroa Production Coordinator: Zianne Hoover Operations & Production Coordinator: Oliver Wehlander Production Assistant: Ovsana Tsaturian Post Production Manager: Luke Baker DIT/Lead AE: Matt Duran IT: Tim Baker Director of Design: Brittany Hobbs Graphic Designers: Ness Cardano, Monica Ravitch Senior Manager, Channel & Strategy: Lizzy Jones Channel Operations Coordinator: Audrey Carganilla Director of Social Media: Erica Noboa Social Creative Producer: Peter Ditzler, Tommy Bowe Merchandising Manager: Mallory Myers Social Media Coordinator: Kim Wilborn Talent Coordinator: Selina Garcia Operations PA: Jordanne Guidry CEO: Alessandra Catanese EVP of Programming: Kiana Parker Coordinator Producer of Programming: Marcus Munguia Executive Coordinator: Rachel Collis Executive Coordinator: Katie Fink OTHER SMOSHES: Smosh: https://smo.sh/Sub2Smosh Smosh Pit: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshPit Smosh Games: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshGames El Smosh (Spanish Dub): https://smo.sh/Sub2ElSmosh FOLLOW US: TikTok: https://smo.sh/TikTok Snapchat: http://smo.sh/OnSnapchat Instagram: https://instagram.com/smosh Facebook: https://facebook.com/smosh Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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So who's that pro the pros at tread experts from tires to auto repair. Tread experts is always there helping you with Kumo tires. You can trust until June 15th, receive up to $60 on a prepaid MasterCard when you purchase Kumo RoadVenture AT52 tires. Find your pro at your local Tread Experts. From tires to auto repair, we're always there. TreadExperts.ca Hello. Welcome to Smosh Mouth. I'm Shane. And I am joined today by Keith and Noah. Yeah.

What up, what up, what up? What's good? Keith, you are just fully green. Yeah, look, I'm thinking about money. My hands are itching right now, too, as we speak. Is that a sign of wealth? I think so. That's what I heard. You never heard if your hand itches, the money's on the way?

I've never heard that. It's poison oak. money's on the way? Never heard that. It's poison oak. Really? It wasn't money. I think it was poison oak you were touching. Which is also green. Black people don't go to the woods like that, so I don't have poison oak or poison ivy. This is definitely money on the horizon.

Wow. Shout out to God. God's in your hands. Even your bracelet's green. You went hard. I'm telling you, it's hella money coming my way. Is that a plan you do in the morning, or do you do it the day before? You're like, tomorrow it's green. You went hard. I'm telling you, it's hella money coming my way. Is that a plan you do in the morning or do you do it like the day before? You're like, tomorrow it's green day.

No, it depends on if there's like a specific event. Like if we're doing like if we have an appearance or something, I'll be like, okay, I want to wear this for it. But like in the mornings that I wake up, I don't know how I'm going to dress. I don't know how I feel. Sometimes I want to be baggy. Today's a baggy day, you know. And other times I want to be like tight and European, you know how I'm gonna dress. I don't know how I feel. Sometimes I wanna be baggy. Today's a baggy day, you know? And other times I wanna be like Titan European, you know what I'm saying?

Would you say that you ever feel like a plastic baggy? Yeah. Mm-hmm. Drifting through the wind. This reminds me of something. I just don't know what it is. Yeah. You know who my favorite pop artist is?

Well, it is a woman's world. That's right. So you guys, I've told you a little bit about what we're doing today. It's the third installment of browsing weird subreddits. So I have compiled a bunch of weird subreddits that I have found. There's tons. We're going to go through them, show some of my favorite posts that I've found. We'll just talk about them.

Talk about other bullshit. We can talk about whatever. okay yeah that's the idea so do you have like a burner reddit account that gets recommended just the strangest no that's a good idea though i'm fully just like a lurker and i have been i've never like liked a post or even joined a subreddit i just scroll about but i feel like noah i feel like it was years ago that you were the one who introduced me to reddit like 2015 2016 yeah yeah you were like oh yeah i'm looking through reddit i was like what what is that and then yeah i eventually started yeah my brother showed it to me and i think it's just like once you you're shown reddit you're like oh this is i think i'm gonna be here forever

i think that's how it kind of works i think i'm doomed way way back in the day when there was a lot of like cringe sayings like you used to say, when does the narwhal bacon? That used to be a huge Reddit joke. Yeah. You want to know the answer? No. At midnight. If you didn't know the answer at midnight for like 10 solid years, that's how people would find out if you were a Redditor.

You would say in a conversation, do you know when the narwhal bacon's? Not even kidding. Wow. See, I feel like nobody who's a Redditor wants anyone to know that they're a Redditor. Yeah, especially when that was the culture. When it was less normal stuff and more like that, it was a little harder to be open about. Are you still on Reddit? Yeah, yeah.

I'll go around here and there. Similar to you, I lurk. For a little bit, I had an account for certain things. Back when I liked esports a lot, I liked posting in esports subreddit once. Yeah, there is a subreddit for absolutely anything. Like anything you're into. Any musician, they have a whole subreddit.

Any show. Oh, they have a Michael Jackson? Absolutely. He would be the moderator. Really? Can we set that up somehow? I don't know how to go about it. I've never looked.

If there's a Michael Jackson subreddit, we'll have to look. There probably is multiple. We should set up for a year like how everyone thought that Wizard of Rasha got booked in a Marvel movie. But set up for a year a burner account for Keith to try to get ingrained in the Michael Jackson subreddit. Okay. Let's go. All right.

We can start that journey. I'm down. I don't even know what's about to happen, but I'm with it. Yeah. All right. Let's I'm with it. Yeah. All right, let's just hop into it. Yeah, what do you have for us today?

Okay. What do you have for, I love your, dude, like your radio, it's kind of like a radio voice right now. You have a really great voice.

Thanks. You should think about like doing radio. You should do radio, man. I should do more radio? I think they're looking for more radio hosts nowadays. I think so.

I think that's a booming industry. They say I got the legs for radio what you do i would agree i would agree okay so this first subreddit there's a subreddit called r bald and it's where bald people post photos of themselves yeah and it's really great a lot of the posts though are dudes who are balding like they're in the process of it they're maybe trying to hold on and then they shave their heads and then they show the, like they're in the process of it, they're maybe trying to hold on, and then they shave their heads, and then they show the after photo. They're like, guys, I'm officially bald,

here's the before and after. And what's amazing is how much better they always look. I can only imagine. Shocking. So I have a bunch of photos that I found before and afters. Oh god. This is like a late night TV, but the opposite. They're always like, Bosley, put this on your head and you get more hair. This is the opposite. night TV, but the opposite. They're always like, Bosley, put this on your head and you get more hair.

This is the opposite. I'm going to make that company. It's just called Razor. Shave it off. You'll look better before and after. $20. It's crazy because I do think, I don't know, there isn't such a stigma on being bald. Unfortunately, dudes deal with a lot of baldness.

And I feel like a lot of people look fine. So here's this guy, right? And he guys I finally pulled it yeah so there's him before but look at him after whoa whoa whoa whoa 10 years younger like I mean way hotter he kind of has a peanut peanut peanut head peanut shaped. But he does look great. Yeah. At the same time, that is a peanut at its finest. But that's okay. I mean, look. Sexy peanut. Your head has to have a shape.

Uh-huh. And yeah, he's sexy Mr. Peanut. I'm surprised that, and not even trying to be mean, there was sex appeal underneath there. I did not expect that. Absolutely. No, it is shocking when you see that and then you're like, wait, whoa. It was also like a bad photo, but like, yeah. Oh, that's also the key to a before and after photo is to like be in the first photo and be like.

Yeah. And then the second one you're like. Yep. He looks cool. It's nothing like given like as a man, y'all, like for me, like when I cut my hair, like it felt so good. And I definitely felt like I felt better at the beginning. I'll never forget when you revealed that you were fully bald. Oh, bro. That's like one of my favorite Smosh moments.

It was the winter games. And this revealed like I went bald and not just like shaved your head like fully shiny. I mean like squeaky. It was unbelievable. How did that feel? It felt great. I could feel all the air on my

head. It was really cool. i felt like michael jordan but without the money it was really cool it was really just good and chocolate good chocolate and bald hey i know it works there's this guy there's this guy he's giving yeah after oh my god now that's a perfectly shaped dad yeah that ain't a peanut that ain't unbelievable that's. Now, that's a perfectly shaped head. Yeah, that ain't a peanut. That is unbelievable. That's nice. That's a proper testy right there. One. I'm looking at one.

What'd they do with the other one? I'm not sure. Oh, my God. Like testicular cancer. Oh, my God. That's bad. We're in that way. We have this guy.

Lastly, this guy. Now, it's unfortunate. He's trying to hold on, but that hair is way back. Can I just say, it's giving serial killer. Oh, yeah, the glasses with the hair. Oh, my God. Unfortunate. What's the guy that eats like boys?

Jeffrey Dahmer. Yeah, that's Jeffrey. Yeah, he is giving Jeffrey Dahmer there. Okay, but boom, way better. I think I Love you. I'm gonna reverse it flipping over a person like Missy Elliott. I think that he looks better before we scroll up Yeah, that's been that's cool Kind of like a cool hip. Okay The glasses and stuff cuz he can put the glasses back on yeah, I don't know I think he looks better bald purse

Yeah, right. I just I don't know I think it has more character there I like his little But we're not seeing the back of his head. What if he's also balding in the back? Oh my god. Lord Jesus. I love this subreddit because it gives me hope because I feel like I inevitably am going to be bald one day. Just swoop it over.

Just fully? Swoop. Swoop it. Comb over? That's it. No. That's awful. I like that. I over. That's it. No. That's awful. I like that. I like that there's a subreddit. Like, it's a little weird, but actually it's just, like, a very unique and specific support community.

I think that's cool. Totally. You know what I mean? There's a ton of that. I mean, and that one's just very positive. Yeah. And I just love all these dudes who are probably terrified. Yeah. They're like, shoot, like, all right.

And then to have a bunch of people be like, you look great. Yeah. You actually look way better. Yeah. Yeah, that's also, like, a hard one to be, like, if you're just, like, 32 and you're like, shoot, like, all right. And then to have a bunch of people be like, you look great, you actually look way better. Yeah, that's also like a hard one to be like, if you're just like 32 and you're like, do I just like text someone and be like, hey, how do you think I look now? Right, that's just like an odd, yeah.

It's a great place to post it. No, and I do feel bad for dudes because some people lose their hair at like 16, like 20, like it happens. Bro, I straight up had a roast session with someone like recently, and the thing was, I don't like to talk about people, but no one knows. When I go there, sometimes I go there.

And I was meeting up with some friends. We're all going to hang out. He has some friends there. I'm coming in to some people that I don't motherfucking know. And I get there. And the first thing, he's like, oh, man, you ugly, man. You dark as shit, dog. Yo, yo, yo, yo yo i'm just setting you

up like this thing i don't know this guy people are a little intoxicated but i'm just like hold on what so it's also coming from a light-skinned black guy okay i was gonna say what if this is a white guy but no but guys i'm a dark-skinned black guy a light-skinned black guy telling me like oh you dark as shit you ugly it. It's like, hold on. This is going somewhere that I don't. It's not this lane, but it's parallel. Oh, my God. That's parallel lane.

They were cousins. What the fuck? So in my mind, this guy's probably mixed. So I'm thinking, like, your white side's talking. So I just let him get it off a couple times. I let him get it off a couple times. And before I knew it, I just started unleashing. So I just looked up.

And I looked up, and I looked at that hairline. For the lack thereof. The lack thereof. And it gave me ample opportunity to talk my shit. Because he also had glasses right here. No! No, he was trying to cover it! Like a bandana. Like, bro, I said,

you know what? I said, I might be ugly and I might be dark. But I said, your hairline starts all the way back here. And you're trying to cover it up with this hairline hit this hair like this hair band of a sunglasses that you got on but let me tell you something i don't know how old you are but you got to be older than me he was younger than me and guys when i tell you i lit him up and by the end of the night my friend was like yo like what happened i said bro i said you know i don't start it with anybody but he called me ugly it was just like you know he's whatever i don't know what it was but for me somebody like me if you give me the chance or

the opportunity to talk my shit you're gonna wonder what happened at the end of it he was like he forgot that he called me ugly he said something about my teeth everybody knows my teeth for me or it's like i it hurts you go there's like look at your teeth i'm like all right but look at that hairline i can't even see it yeah but he gave me the perfect opportunity to talk my shit and i don't feel bad shout out to all the other people that are balding out there i'd like i would never just come for somebody but like if you don't talk about somebody being ugly just make sure that hairline has make sure your hairline is penciled in or I'm gonna get up in that ass yes I am I hurt some feelings that day and I like I actually woke up the next day and I felt bad I was like oh my god but then there's the other side of me like, gotcha.

You know what you should do? You know what? You should just send him a link to the subreddit. Oh, no, no. Just shoot him a link. You know what's funny? On my Instagram, like all the time, a lot of stuff for like balding and like, you know, getting your hairline, your hairline rejuvenated has been coming up.

And I've been thinking about sending it to my friend so he can send it to his friend. But I'm not that petty. But hopefully I don't have to run into him again. That's insane. I mean, I've heard online of, like, the light-skinned, dark-skinned thing. Is it ever, like, that blatant? Oh, bro, yes, because people can go for it. So, like, let's keep it funky.

Let's break it down. So, like, it's easier and darker-skinned people can get away with calling somebody light-skinned you know what i mean it's like you light bright you know what i mean we can get away with it but like a light-skinned person saying it to a dark-skinned person oh all hell is breaking loose all hell is gonna break loose and we gonna get up in that ass and you're gonna really i'm telling you you're not it's not gonna be it's not gonna be fine and the the the levels are off but like rightfully so it's just like you know certain things you can say and certain things you can't say there is a double standard if you will but just know that it's set up like that so go for it if you want to a question on the double standard do you feel like the the the double standard of it which makes complete and utter sense yeah

the reference of a lighter skin person calling out you for being darker skin, does it feel worse? Because it feels like they're attempting to reference like the world's point of view. Yes, all of that. Absolutely, absolutely. And it's just like,

it's like a privilege that comes with like being lighter skin, like truly. Like we all know that. So it's just like, even, but like white people would only look at black people as if they're like. As one group. Yeah.

But like but but at the same time, there are some privileges that come with like being lighter. Like for some people, they don't seem as, I guess, dangerous. You know what I mean? It's like certain little things like that. So like it's so real. Like I've experienced it and I kind of experienced it that night where like the guy was like light skinned, like straight up light skinned. I was like, where is this coming from? So I'm like, I just met light skinned like straight up light skinned I was like where is this coming from cause I'm like I just met you I just said

hello I'm like okay and we were in the dark so I know all he seen was eyes and teeth you know what I mean like truly it was one of those situations where I'm like I'm just like this I'm cheating you hit him with your white he said Jacqueline you're dark I'm like oh oh my god

but he was so light I could see like the pieces of hair when his hairline. You could see each individual one that was missing. Yeah, it was crazy. Sorry, guys. No, that's insane. All right, moving on. This is a way to start it off. Yeah, hey, that's the whole.

I enjoyed that conversation. That was crazy. Shave your head, whoever he is. He should paint. Our next subreddit comes... We have one I found called Ask HR. Oh, my God. Oh, so like HR professionals.

So HR professionals are in this subreddit, and they can answer questions. So people go, hey, this happened at work. Like, what should I do? But this one is crazy. This one's really been popping off. The guy who started today is clearly not the guy we interviewed and no one else has noticed.

This person wrote in, they're like, hi, a bit of a weird one here. I helped my team interview a candidate a couple of weeks ago by helped. I mean, I asked all the questions and engaged with the candidate while my bosses worked on their own projects and half listened.

I really liked the guy. He was outgoing and quick, knew what he was talking about on a very high level, and his experience matched. Now, normally I wouldn't mention ethnicity or physical characteristics, as it does not even factor into my opinion of a candidate. But since it's relevant here,

the guy was, I believe, Guatemalan and had a slight accent. He had black curly hair and a stubble. He was also average height. We ran four other interviews for the position and ended up hiring this guy. Let's call him Josh. Since he had the experience and there were no red flags in the interview, they hired him. He was scheduled to start today, so after morning meeting, I swung by his new office to say hello and welcome to the team.

But when I get there, all I see is some tall white guy with brown hair. Oh, yes. The nameplate on the door had Josh's first and last name. So I asked the guy if Josh was in, kind of assuming he was the IT guy helping set up. The guy said he was Josh. And the kicker is he also said, it's great to see you again. And used my name. I hadn't yet introduced myself. He said it with what I would say is a Midwestern accent

I couldn't interrogate him I couldn't interrogate too far because he was called into some onboarding thing but I was really confused I ran into my boss afterwards he said he had a nice conversation with Josh this morning and he feels reaffirmed that we made the right choice now I should point out he said

earlier now that is that during this interview, his bosses were kind of half listening and working on other projects. So he was the only person who like paid attention to this interview. No one else seems to have noticed that it's a completely different guy.

I haven't brought it up outright to anyone yet, but I want to, because this is weird and seemingly fraudulent. I just don't know how to bring this up to a superior or HR. This is insane. You know what. I just don't know how to bring this up to a superior or HR. This is insane. What? You know what?

I'll be straight up. Like, he got that far. At that point, you just got to be like, hey, bro. Like, I don't know what you're doing here. Yeah, you got to call it out. You got to call it out. You got to say it for what it is. But also, you got to, like, you got to give it to him.

He killed that. Like, anybody to, okay. Like, we would all be scared. Let's be straight up. Oh, my goodness we would all be scared. Let's I've lost my fucking mind. Oh, I'm going to spies and if not spies alien spying I mean, that's where I'm because all your bosses were paying attention like yeah, it's so great Yeah, Josh Josh on the team. I'm like I could have sworn This guy that's not the guy. Okay, they're like that's the guy yeah oh the fact that that guy committed being like it's nice to see you again had a great conversation with you

that's scary that's actually too scary at first i'm like you know you got to give it to him and be like yo yo no no i know it's like bro no actually you got to call the cops oh i actually call the cops actually first thing i do is i like am being nice whatever oh yeah great to see you again whatever going back to like the security footage from the day of the interview oh yeah I'm doing everything I can well I think it was a zoom call I think I think that's I think yeah I hope

maybe they didn't record the zoom call now what's crazy is in the comments people are like I've had this happen before really all these people are like we terminated the employee for dishonesty this wasn't hard to figure out because the candidate spoke perfect English on the phone and the individual who showed up on the first day only spoke Spanish.

Oh, wait, but that one, and not trying to say that Josh, first Josh didn't speak perfect English, but that's a flip of, you know? He was just saying appearance-wise, it's like, this is just a different game. Yeah, but like what the comment says is almost like a, like,

that one feels more like fraud because, you know, maybe you're trying to hire someone with a certain skill. You know, like if I says is almost like that one feels more like fraud, because maybe you're trying to hire someone with a certain skill. If I told you, oh, I can ride horses, and so you hired me to ride horses in a commercial, and I can't fucking ride a horse. There's another one. I had a more blatant one. I interviewed a very capable candidate by video. Smart,

knowledgeable, focused, and had the right skills. Then he turned up for work. I was somewhat surprised because I'd interviewed a woman. Oh, wow! Whoa! And I realized, I'm like, oh, no different than in college, people pay people Then he turned up for work. I was somewhat surprised because I'd interviewed a woman. Oh, wow. Whoa. And I realized I'm like, oh, no different than in college. People pay people to write essays for them. People must pay people to do interviews and like get them.

This was by video. But yeah. Yeah. But you think about like big companies where maybe you're not going to interact with the person who interviewed me. Interview you. Like you just kind of get in. that's it's still crazy to me yeah i would really want to know their train of thought what's what's the how does the economy of that work like am i getting a flat fee for getting you hired am i getting a percentage of

what you make every year on the deal of the salary deal am i getting a little bit of every paycheck because at some point they're gonna find out. Like, have we signed a deal? How do you set this up where my job is to just mass interview for people because I'm so good and everyone will love me, that somehow that's a profitable, like, I don't know how that happens.

Yeah, it's weird. Like, it's so weird because it's like face-to-face. Like, they've seen the person in the interview. It's just like, it's weird. It's so weird because it's face-to-face. They've seen the person in the interview. What if they interviewed an AI? You know what I mean? That's going to start happening. Straight up. That stuff is going to start happening. It's already effectively happening. Kids are writing chat GPT essays.

Do it the old-fashioned way. Like you said, pay people. Yeah, just pay a human. Give the human work to fake your interview. Like, if you're going to commit fraud, at least pay someone to do it. I can't believe how many people in the comments were like, yeah, this also has happened. It's insane. I'd never heard of it.

I never thought about that. Yeah. But it's real. I mean, people, like, you have to do, like, P-tests, right? It depends on the job, I think. It depends on the job. I think a lot of jobs don't. But sometimes it's easy. I didn't have to do a P- test when I got hired at Smosh.

I don't think any of us did. None of us did. I took one. Can you imagine? Wait, I did. But it wasn't me doing the pee. I paid someone to pee. Well, people do fake that shit.

Yeah. Which makes sense. We've known that for a long time. Yeah. That's so interesting. But you're suggesting doing a pee test to confirm identity now. See. You're not even saying for drug testing.

You're like, I want to make sure it's the same Josh. See what I'm saying? I want to make sure the flavor's the same. That's what we do. Exactly. Anyways, that's Ask HR. There were a bunch of others, but none of the others were as entertaining. What if someone did that here?

Oh, that would be hilarious. I think it would be small of an operation. Yeah. Like, people would figure it out. Yeah. You'd think so. Do you know my real small of an operation. Yeah. Like, people would figure it out. Yeah. You'd think so. Do you know my real name? What?

Hold on, wait, what? You guys don't know my real name. I've never shown anyone my birth certificate at this company. Hold on. That's all I'm saying. Oh, okay, no, you're playing. I haven't. I just started.

That's how easy it is to start bullshit. You almost got me. I'm like, wait, hold on. Where are we going with this? Was I born in Hawaii, Keith? Bitch. If it's a flat or a squeal, a wobble or peel,

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Get 25% off when you visit ritual.com slash clinical. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Yeah, I don't know. This next subreddit, I think, is where we're going to spend most of our time because it's awesome. Okay. When I found this one, I was like, this is perfect for you too. This is the subreddit hypothetical situation. Where all people do is put out hypothetical situations and discuss what you would do. That's my bread and butter.

Okay, here we go. I picked a couple of them. They all, for some reason, have to do with money. Because, of course. First one. You are given an egg. And if, after 365 days, the egg remains uncracked, you will receive $10 million. It is a completely ordinary egg with, upon receivable, no cracks.

After the 365 days, the egg will be thoroughly inspected to ensure there are no cracks whatsoever in order for you to claim the money. Replacing or cooking the egg is not permitted. As well as that, the egg cannot be stationary for more than 24 hours at a time and cannot be touched by anyone other than you during this 365 day period. Finally, failure to protect the egg will result in a permanent ban from eating eggs again as well as losing out on

the potential money. So tell me, what's the strategy you will employ in order for you to insure the money? So, okay, a real quick question. You can't just leave the egg in one spot. More than 24 hours. No, no, no. It can. You can't just leave the egg in one spot? More than 24 hours. It can't be stationary. It can be in one spot. It just can't be stationary. Oh, okay.

So, like, you just have to pick it up once a day. Yeah, or it could be rotating. Oh, my God. Yeah. What would it rotate on, Noah? What the hell are you talking about? Lazy Susan. Or you could suspend it by rubber bands or bungee cords. Or, like, one of those things that clean the floor. You could tape it to Porkchop, and it would never be stationary.

But it will break on Porkchop. She's nuts. Come on. Yeah. But I'm just saying, to get around stationary, it could take it to how you will. Look, I could come in just like, boop, boop, boop. Done.

Oh, my god. But where are you keeping it that it's going to be guaranteed to be safe? Now, my thought is probably literally a safe that I get. And then I like every day I just have to kind of like pick it up lightly and put it back. And I have like pillows on all every side. Or I have it fully encased in styrofoam. Like I have styrofoam cut out perfectly in an egg shape. Yeah, but you're going to need it to be temperature controlled.

Because for a whole year, you're going to go through every season. And inside of that safe, it could be very, very hot and then very, very cold. And that could cause the egg to crack. Yeah. I mean, I'm assuming if an egg goes bad, it would maybe crack on its own. So maybe... Maybe just by the amount of gas it might produce. Who knows? I've never held an egg for that long. So maybe we're screwed regardless.

I think what you would have to do... Or a freezer? A freezer would be good. Yeah, because you would want to create an outer, an extra shell. So I would just shellac it every day for a year, you know? I'd cover it in shellac or the closest thing that I could find to like a calcium. What the hell is shellac? That's so smart.

What's the stuff people like resin? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like smooth? But resin with the heat would crack it probably. Well, yeah, but that's why you do something more like a nail polish. You know, you just put 50 layers of nail polish and then you'd go get Flex Seal. And then you'd Flex Seal it. You know what I mean?

What the hell are you guys talking about? Rush this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm stuck at shellac. What the hell is shellac? Shellac is like when you're done with maybe a painting or a version of shellac could also be for like nails. You know, it's like a clear coating that you put afterwards

to protect what's underneath. Okay, okay, cool. So you do that so the outer layer is okay, and then you put it in some sort of rubber cement, and then you'd probably, I would just glue it to my ceiling fan, and then just turn the fan on for a year. Noah, that sounds like that gets on my

nerves, because Noah, come on, think about it. Ten million dollars were on the line, and you're gonna tape it to your ceiling fan? To your ceiling fan! But it's covered in all this bullshit. But it's also high up. You need to let it be low. Okay, then I'm not going to bump into it on accident.

Oh my God. But what if the tape decides that it just wants to get loose? Get loose, get loose. And it falls off. Get low. There we go. If it's fully encased, someone did say encase egg in resin and bring with me everywhere.

Oh, that works too. Oh, yeah, just put it right in your butt. I walk around all day. Right? Yeah. I mean, what's wrong with that? H Oh, wow. Oh, yeah, just put it right in your butt. I walk around all day. Right? Yeah. I mean, what's wrong with that? Hens do it. What the hell is he talking about?

That's crazy. Hens do it. That's insane. That's how nature works. I'd say my butt or my mouth. Noah. Maybe I'd flip. All right, I think Noah and I agree on what ultimately,

it would be covered in some sort of thing that would encase it. Keith, what do you think? I wouldn't do all of that. That would be touching it way too much, guys. I would just like maybe put it in a little small box, put some pillows around it. I did like when you said what you said there. But other than that, all this painting and nail polish and shellac, like I just don't think it's necessary.

I think that's a lot of stuff. It can't be stationary. You just like rotate the box. That's all I'm saying, y'all. You guys are doing way too much. You are the guy. There was an earthquake this morning. And I woke up to it. I sleep rotate the box. That's all I'm saying, y'all. You guys are doing way too much. You are the guy. There was an earthquake this morning. And I woke up to it.

I sleep on my floor. That's the thing. Oh, you're your own. What's it called? The seismograph? What's it called? Are you your own Richter scale? You lay on the floor so you know when the earthquake comes so you can pick the egg up?

Do you sleep on the floor by choice? Yes. No, by fire. By porgy. I'm like, what's going on yes I don't okay so

he splits his apartment with his roommate his roommate gets the top half of the apartment I was like you have a bed right okay so this is the thing okay we're just gonna go there

I have a my neck is really bad right so I always sleep in my living room because my TV's there I don't have a TV in my bedroom

I have one there but I haven't connected it. I haven't Roku'd it or any of that stuff, right? My couch, no one knows. He sat on this couch. This couch is like, I done slept on it for four years straight. Man, my neck, my back, my neck and my back is so messed up from just sleeping on it. So now I'm not going to my bed.

That is not happening. I'm not going to my bed. That is not happening. I'm not going to my bed. I'm not even going to buy another Roku. So what do I do? I sleep on the mother floor every night. Why don't you just move your bed to the living room and switch to the TV? Because that's ghetto. I'm not doing that, y'all. I like to have people

look. Get a new couch to sleep on. Get a new couch. Get a better couch. Oh, so who wants to buy me one? I don't. You do. Let's talk about it, Shannon. You want to buy yourself one because right now you sleep on the floor. If I wanted to buy me a new couch, I would have done that already.

I don't mind the floor. Is sleeping on the floor like helping? It was at first because when I was sleeping on the couch. I don't think so. He opened with, my neck has been hurting. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Listen, guys. Listen to me. Listen to me. So my neck and my back was hurting for a while, right? has been hurting. No, no, no, no, no, no. Listen, guys. Listen to me.

Listen to me. So my neck and my back was hurting for a while, right? It was hurting. And I was like, okay, like, it's obviously hurting because I'm sitting on the couch. Like, the couch, the springs within the couch whenever I sit down. And just to give everyone an image of what a couch looks like, when you look at the couch where you would sit, if you imagine going to, like, a museum, but for, like, ancient whales.

So on the ceiling is all the bones and it's like, it's, it's an 80 foot long whale. So it bends and it's just warped. Do you get what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. It's just a big,

this is the green couch. The green couch. You've seen the green couch. The green couch is, it looks like a camel now. Oh yes. Yes. Yeah.

It got some hump. Two humps. Shout out to Fergie. I think we're less worried about the egg and more concerned for you. If you can make it through the year. I'm doing good. I think. You should start a subreddit.

Help. Our help. Oh, my God. Okay, our next hypothetical. I feel like, Keith, I know your answer. Noah, I'm curious about yours. You get three million dollars or you can speak every language fluently.

Wow. I'm not going to say anything. That's so interesting. I don't think there's a wrong answer in this one. I think both are great. This is a great situation. There's not a wrong answer, but I know the right one Yeah, no that that is super interesting because obviously like learning a lot of languages is useful obviously

I'm gonna be a pedantic semantic asshole, so they said that I can only speak the languages That's not very useful for me if I don't know what I'm saying I can speak a lot of phonetic things and not know what I'm saying okay. I think what I think they okay Let's let's take it as... You're about to know it. Yes, you can also read and write every language. Including

extinct languages. Oh, whoa! So now I'm taking that because you now can make so much money. If we're doing extinct, are we also then putting in future? No, just extinct. Just extinct. But that is such a useful skill because there's ancient languages that If we're doing extinct, are we also then putting in future? Because if I can do ones from the past. No, just extinct. Just extinct.

But that is such a useful skill because there's ancient languages that nobody knows. You're paying. You're getting. You're like, give me $3 million and I will interpret this ancient Sumerian or whatever. That's awesome. But I also believe in a little bit of mystery, so I'm going to just take the $3 million. Yeah. Just easily.

So you just prefer to not know. I don't need to know shit. I don't know shit right now. I don't think it is. It just is. And then you're going to have a $3 million couch. Yeah, Easily just right. So you just prefer to not know. I don't need to know shit. I don't know shit right now. I don't think it is. It just is what it is. And then you're going to have a three million dollar couch. Yeah, yeah.

Ooh, wow. I don't need that. I'll keep my old green camelback couch. You're going to keep the couch after you get three million dollars? Hell yeah. Don't forget where you came from. Neck still hurt.

You got a bionic neck. No, I'm definitely, I'm doing the languages because that's just really cool. It's awesome. It's very awesome. The edit of the extinct languages and being able to read and write them, I have to. Yeah. I simply have to. Once we're doing that, yeah.

I can't not. That's good. That makes sense for you guys, but for me. Take the three million. I don't fault you. How about this? Three million dollars, but you can never understand any other person ever again. You never get to speak.

You only speak your own language. Well, if that's the case, I'm going to learn all the languages. Okay, this next one is my favorite, probably. You get $1 billion. Nice, nice. Right now. That's like nothing. But that's like no more.

My hand almost hit your chin. Like dead ass. I'm like, that's not a lot of money. What? That's like not no. My hand almost hit your chin. Like, deadass. I'm like, that's not a lot of money. What? That's like, no, actually. You get $1 billion right now, but in the next 10 years, you must step foot onto the moon or you are instantly killed. Do you say yes? Oh, my God.

Whoa. Okay. So read it one more time for me, Shane, because I just really want to get everything right. You get $1 billion right now, but in the next 10 years, you must step foot onto the moon, or you are instantly killed. Do you say yes? Oh, my God. Okay.

So I have an issue with this. First of all, because I'm afraid of heights. I am afraid of heights. Once you're on the moon, you're not even high. It's technically not even high. You're in space. But y'all got to understand, I had to go up to get there. You will have to be high at one point.

But you'll also have to go up to get back. You see what I'm saying? And then come down. I don't like roller coasters. You see what I'm saying? I don't like any of this. I don't like mm-mm-mm-mm. I don't need to.

Also, guys, I support and I'm so glad people are going up into space and space exploration. I support astronauts. Bro, I support all of it. I support astronauts. That's kind of controversial. Bro, I support them all. But at the end of the day, you are not going to see my black ass up in space anywhere. I don't need to know what's going up there.

I don't care. You don't want to know what's going on in space? No, because I ain't much of shit. I'm like, oh, damn, it's nothing up there. I don't care. You don't want to know what's going on in space? No, because I ain't much of shit. I'm like, oh, damn, it's nothing up here, but some cold air. I don't need to know. Just tell me what it is. Send me some pictures. But I don't need the billion dollars. I'm cool with being here

on Earth. Guys, if it was for us to be up there, some people need to be up there to study and do whatever, science, all of that. But for me, I am staying here. I'm good. I love Earth. I do. I love it. Would you guys go to space? Oh, if I got the opportunity to go to space,

that'd be really enticing. It'd be enticing, but it'd be a difficult choice. It's a tough choice because it's... You can't go to space for a little bit. Yeah. Well, you could if you took one of those planes that just go to like super upper atmosphere and you kind of play with it a little bit. Aren't some people stuck in space right now. Yeah for a long time Yeah, so like next year. I'm not I'm actually not sure what the current date is because I know they're still working on this

That's the thing it's like I think being in space would be really dope for like a couple days And then be like I'm really scared. Yeah, I want to go home. Yeah, it definitely is it's I it's also boring as hell That's what I'm saying. What the fuck? I can be bored down here. You really can't do much in space because it's a safety concern. I was reading about how they don't even have alcohol in space. Not even because of

a moral thing or anything. It's because alcohol could mess up the systems. It's so dangerous to the materials and everything. They can't even risk it. It's like, if I can't have a beer in space... I can't have a tequila soda up in space. It's gonna mess up the...

No, I'm good. You guys can have it. Take you and your billion dollars out of my face. I'm gonna take that billion dollars. I'm gonna take that billion dollars. How do you get to space? I don't think I need to get to space at all. I think that there's an incredibly fast What the hell is wrong with him? to get to space at all I think that there's an incredibly fast

what the hell is wrong with him to get out of that with a billion dollars on my disposal all of which are going to be legally bound so first and foremost it's going to be whatever contract we sign I've got a billion dollars so I'm going to put a couple lawyers on that from the get go I'll earmark probably about 5% I will say there's an edit in that

like the text below it says you also can't tell anyone else about the death clause or else you will die instantly. That's fine. I don't like that. I like that you can get other people involved and it's like, what are your means of getting to the moon? I don't think death is the issue. I think getting to the moon is the issue. That's the more fun thing.

Yo, we can hit up Elon Musk. But I just got to step foot on it. What is step foot to you? That's true. That's what I would spend a lot of my billion dollars changing because if you don't agree with me i've got 10 years and a lot of money to fund in some organizations some super packs you're talking some education look all i'm saying is i could probably get a group in alabama to go in and add to the to the educational board some bullshit line that

says like step foot let's teach that to mean a little bit lighter different i think you're making a deal with some sort of deity or demon. The devil. That the lawyers Look, that demon loves contracts and they love semantics at this point because they're putting a deal in front of me. So I think at a minimum, I'm going to give them a run for their money. This is giving Illuminati. Yes,

it is. Because for a billion dollars and I got to go to the moon or I die, I don't know who you are. You're either the devil or I don't know. Or Jesus. Jesus. Hey! I feel like with a billion dollars, you could probably get to the moon.

I think you could buy a ticket. No, I don't know. I just don't want to risk it. Getting to the moon is really expensive. I would sooner cut both my feet off and send them to the moon. Like, what is step foot to you? Can I bring regolith to me?

If you could launch your foot at the moon. What is moon to you? No, but that's such a good point. Cut off your you could launch your foot at the moon. What is moon to you? No, but that's such a good point. Cut off your foot and just launch it at the moon. For a million dollars in 10 years, I got to lose a foot? What if you launch it at the moon and you miss? No. You're like, aw.

You're watching it shoot off. It's like it gets to Mars. You're like, aw. The only change is you separate the toes. Okay? We all know stepping requires probably the ball of your foot and a toe. So I would separate toes on five different missions. We're sending a toe each time.

We're going to do this. It's going to be a big moon. It's going to be a great plan. I don't have a plan. I've got a concept for how I'm going to get my foot to the moon. Oh my god. Hold on, Shane. What would you do? Would you take the pavilion? I don't know. Hold on, Shane. What about with you?

What would you do? Would you take the pavilion? I don't know, man. I think I'd I'd have to research how possible this would be because a part of me is like yeah, I could get to the

but no, I don't think I don't think 10 years is enough time. Yeah, let me frame it to you this way. You'll die in 10 years but you can feed 10 million children

for the rest of their lives. That's true. In 10 years you die but you will feed every single child million children for the rest of their lives That's true. You get ten years in ten years you die But you will feed every single child in America for the rest of their life. That's true That's about that deal. You're so right you get a billion dollars, and it's like all right at the end of ten years I'm gonna like just and guess what that's that's huge I'm gonna be an asshole cuz I'm only donating like 90% of it and the other 10% I'm gonna live on a yacht and then build such a big statue

Yeah, and you know what you press a button cheeseburgers come out People to the end of time with that much money. Yeah, you know what? Maybe I love me you buy a huge property You title it the moon Put on it God. You're so much smarter than everything I said for the last 20 minutes. You just named something The Moon. He was really about to cut off a foot and send it into outer space. Five different spaceships.

It still would have worked. Our last hypothetical situation. This one's tough. There are a thousand pills. Imagine on this table there's a thousand pills. One of them kills you instantly, but you get $500,000 for every pill you take. How many do you take? You have a thousand and one shot of dying instantly on the first pill.

How many do you chow down? If you die, the money you have so far, if any any goes to your next of kin with no tax implications Okay, I've got some questions is the pill a poison specifically for me, or is it like a rat? I think I think this pill I think it's it This is only you only you can take these pills right this isn't like us three This is like if I had a twin with this pill also kill my twin I Don't think so I think. I think we're talking about a metaphysical... I'm just trying to figure out because I could convince someone

for a quarter of a million dollars. You don't know which pill it is, though. I know, but they could test it first. Well, they test a pill first and then they get the $500,000. Y'all, Noah has the weirdest takes ever. You have the most weird takes and it's like, I can't.

I just truly can't. No, no, no. Here's how we're doing this. You're in a room. It's just you with 1,000 pills. Okay, I can't leave. Simple, simple. And you can take as many pills as you want. Every pill that isn't the kill you pill gives you $500,000.

And I die the moment it's in my mouth. Not on digestion. Yeah, you throw it in your mouth, you die. You just disappear. You like avenge. Not even the pill. A bullet hits you. That's what happens. If I pickger not even the pill a bullet of

I just if I pick the wrong one just a bullet some guy stabbed No, it's I think it's Avengers Infinity War like you just made okay never exist. Okay. I got a second or two, but but No, you can't spit it back out. So how many pills do you take? How much of a risk? Are you willing to take? Okay, so the the realistic answer in my opinion, is there's two options. One, if I'm aware that I have a terminal illness that will immediately, in some capacity in my life, I will take as many pills as I can. I'm trying to tell y'all.

Because the money would be for someone else. Okay, because at that point, the money that I'm making, no matter how many pills, the money's going to my children. And I will always give my life to my children. But you're adding more. You don't got no kids. Okay, but no, you're adding to this hypothetical. If it's just me today, right now, right now, I would not take a single pill because the fact is, even if there's a chance of just, even just the smallest chance

that if I step on a crack, it's not actually a crack, it's an abyss, I fall in and I die immediately, that is too large of a chance I'm willing to take because I have things in my life that I value more than the opportunity to that money. And he would also, like, pick up the wrong pill the first time. Oh, without a doubt. But before I make that choice, I'm definitely, I'm touching every single one, I'm putting them over a light, I'm listening,

I'm trying to see if there's any hint. I don't think there's any hint. I think they're all, it's just a bunch of tic-tacs. Yeah, that's unreasonable to even take one. It's unreasonable. Really? Completely unreasonable. Unless you're under imminent threat of death.

1,000 to 1 odds. Yeah. 1,000 to 1 odds, no. Not even if it was a million to 1 odds. Really? No. If you told me that every lottery ticket I had, right, there's like one chance that I could die

just by pulling my random thing i would never take that chance i don't care how many people are in that lottery you know what i would have to be 80 and on life support and have children that could get the money like that's the only world like right now i'm liking the way you're thinking yeah before that you were like taking me somewhere that i did not want to be like for me personally i don't like to gamble i'm not into gambling i'm not into russian roulette I don't think that. Really? Not Russian roulette, but gambling's pretty good.

Like, the only, y'all, the farthest I go with my gambling is tokens at Chuck E. Cheese. And I ain't been at Chuck E. Cheese since 85. You know what I mean? That's more skill-based, but it's okay. What are you? Are you putting me down? It's a skill-based game. It's not necessarily gambling.

Bro, I haven't gambled in years. I have not stepped foot in a Chuck E. What did you say? I said Chuck E. Cheese is more of a skill-based environment. Oh, okay. It's more skill-based game. It's not necessarily gambling. Bro, I haven't gambled in years. I have not stepped foot in a Chuck E. What did you say? I said Chuck E. Cheese is more of a skill-based environment. Oh, okay. It's more skill-based. It's always one hater in a room, and I think it's right. The reason why you never got the big prize of the two dolphins that go back and forth

is because you weren't good at the game. Sorry, I cut you off. No, you're very lucky. You're just really shitty. Sorry, I totally cut you off. Whatever. Why don't you like gambling gambling it's just not my thing like i don't my money's my money if i give you one dollar like and i don't get anything back

i'm gonna be upset about that you know yeah you don't like the chance of just coming away yeah i don't think it's gambling in real life is i don't do it because your odds the odds are super against you right like oh i don't think anyone who goes to Vegas regularly is up. If you go to Vegas multiple times, you're down. You've paid Vegas money. The business model requires, at best, you have

49% odds. When you go to Vegas and you look around, you're like, this is built upon people thinking they can beat this system. They can't. I think I have particularly bad dice and cards luck. That's where I'm unlucky. I think I'm very lucky in most other ways in life, but that's the area.

So I do think I'm like, 1,000 pills in front of me, I am probably picking the bad one. By just because that's my luck. Million to one odds, that's where I'm like, a million? I mean, that's crazy. Yeah Yeah. Million to one odds. That's where I'm like, a million? I mean, that's crazy.

Yeah, but you might instantly die. Listen, at $500,000, to look at a million pills and to think about how much money that is at $500,000 each and a million. I mean, you're looking at, what is that, $500 billion? Okay. At that point, you're in maybe a reality where there's no world where my life and $500 billion are equal. Maybe. Right, but you only have to take one. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying.

Maybe in that case I would take the risk just because at that point it is so hypothetically insane. But 1,000 to 1 is a lot to bet. Like your family and friends and everyone's like, damn. Would you get on a plane if you thought there was 1,000 to 1 odds you weren't going to land? No. Would you get in the plane if you thought it was a 2,000 to you weren't going to land? No. Would you get in the plane if you thought it was a two thousand and one odds? Yeah, no. I don't know what the reality is.

If the captain looked at me and said that, I'd be like, hey there. Even if he said like, hey, I've flown a thousand times and I've never crashed before, I'd be like, okay, now I'm uncomfortable. Why did you say that? It all makes me a little iffy. Yeah, for sure. All right, so we're all walking away. Absolutely. But if it's Squid Games, I might All right, so we're all walking away. Absolutely. But if it's Squid Games,

I might want to see how many pills I can get to before I lose. Oh, interesting. Might be fun. Okay, moving on. Sorry. He fucks me up. I love... I'm going to actually go...

I might make a Reddit account just for that subreddit. Do it. I won't tell anyone the account name, but they might be able to figure it out after a few answers. Let's be honest. Someone said they're going to grind it up into a powder and snort it. Someone said they'll take one pill a year,

so they give themselves a 500K salary, and they lower the chances of like... Oh, wow. That's interesting. Elongate the chances. Wow. That's odd. That's still like taking like 50 pills out of 1,000. Your odds are a lot higher. Yeah, for chances. That's odd. That's still like taking like 50 pills out of

a thousand. Your odds are a lot higher. Yeah, for sure. Maybe you do take one. I mean, thousand and one odds. Look, let's be honest. I have let's call it zero dollars because that's what I have. I get to increase that by an infinite amount. When I look at it that way,

statistically, I go from zero to an infinite amount of money. So maybe. Maybe I'd do it. Y'all, he was not lying. I really, I was like, let me think about this number. Let me just, one, two, one, zeros. How many zeros can you put?

You can put as many as you want. A quick one. There's our Lego. I love Legos. And this dude, so this account's name is literally PineappleFucker is the username. Interesting. And he built the

Millennium Falcon Lego set out of different colored pieces. That's incredible. So I don't know how long that took him. I think he said it took him a long ass time. Let me see. I don't know how long it took him. I think it took him a long ass time. Let me Let me see. I don't know how long it took him. I think he said a long ass time. Let me see.

I think he said, after 10 months, I finished my 75,192 piece Millennium Falcon made from random parts. This is a question if he designed what he was going to do beforehand because I've built with my brother a Lego, essentially like rubber

band Uzi, shaped like a gun. And then it functions and everything. And the way that you do it is there's plans online that people have. And they list all the pieces. And we went, we got a little drawer as if we were like soldering things. We bought every single piece, the exact number we needed. And then we organized them and then we built it step by step. But that's why we were able to do it.

If he designed what pieces he needs, like he figured it out. Because this is a real set. Yeah, yeah. But even still, it's like, oh, here's a circle piece that's meant for the Millennium Falcon. They might not sell this circle piece in a different color than Millennium Falcon. You have to now say, okay, I need four of these. Or, you know, you don't know how complicated.

I don't know. Even on the inside, like, is it hollow? Is it not hollow? It looks so cool. Like, that is really amazing. Yeah, it's incredible. Incredible. Next subreddit is rmadlads. So you've probably heard Ian say the term madlad. He's like, what a madlad.

Here, let me just look at their description. It's typically, like, dudes who take risks. Okay. Risks just for the fun of it, just for the hell of it. A place to celebrate a lad who is a complete savage and or a crazy risk taker, often used sarcastically. The example I found that I love, this was a, I heard about this forever ago and I always thought it was so cool. In 2007, Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe deliberately wore the same outfit for six months solely to piss off the paparazzi and make their photos unpublishable.

So this is true. He wore this jacket and hat everywhere for a whole year effectively so that every photo looked like it was the same photo. Wow. So that paparazzi couldn't really sell them. What's that last subreddit we were on? Because he was there.

The hypotheticals. What would you do hypothetically? That's the best answer. That made everyone stop. That's so smart. Yeah. He's awesome. What a mad lad. Daniel Radcliffe friggin' rocks. There's tons of stuff like that. There's another subreddit I love called Explain

Like I'm 5. Explain Like I'm 5 is great because it's like they'll ask genuine questions, but they'll be like, can you explain this in the simplest of terms? And this one I thought was really interesting. Someone said, why can't we get ask like genuine questions but the back can you explain this in the simplest of terms and this one i thought was really interesting someone said why can't we get a yearly full body mri to scan for cancers like why can't i just go to the doctor once a year and they're just like and you just be like ed where is it what's wrong with my body i agree i mean come on i mean how many of these

machines do we have how many people do they need When is it actually going to be useful? What are the side effects? I mean, just, bro, I would like to do that. Does the MRI scan help you if you don't have a qualified person with enough time to then analyze the scan? What the hell are you talking about? We're talking about cancer here, dog. We have answers. Oh, yeah. Because what's great is people.

Sorry. That's me. I'm Captain Don't Google. Captain Don't Google. That's me, bro. You're like, we'll never know. There's no way to find out. All I'm saying is

there's no way to ever find out. Ever. So someone responded and they go, radiologist here, this is not actually how MRIs work. And a common misunderstanding

of the modality. MRIs are highly specialized exams with different scanning protocol for each body part. For example, even an MRI cervical spine, the bones in your neck, is different than an MRI soft tissue neck. MRI liver is different than MRI kidney. You could attempt to do a broad catch-all study that tries to include the most useful parameters,

but then you run into resolution and field of view issues, making it a poorer quality study. Full-body MRI is actually offered as a boutique pay-out-of-pocket service in certain countries, but it often creates more questions than it does answers, and the patient likely would have to go back to re-image the body part in question just to get the right sequences and evaluate it properly, all of which may end up in it being

something totally medically irrelevant or incidental. All in all, on top of a lot of things already mentioned by other commenters, the cost to the system is not worth it. So I didn't know that. Because I always thought I'm like, x-rays and MRIs, I'm like, yeah, it just shows everything in your body. It's like, no,

like, we have to do this specifically for this thing. Can you imagine, like, with obviously no knowledge of anything, just being like, oh yeah, go in there and just hit me with the whole spectrum. Just microwave me. What is it? How many minutes for popcorn? Do a couple of seconds. Can I just find out? Just cut me in half and just hit me with the whole spectrum. Just microwave me. How many minutes for popcorn? Do a couple of seconds. Can I just find out? Cut me in half and then put it back.

Give me a picture like it's a gobstopper or something. Another one is that I've always wondered. I thought this was really interesting. Why do humans need to eat ridiculous amounts of food to build muscle, but gorillas are way stronger by only eating grass and fruits? Bro, it's our brain.

It's not our muscles. Our brain is like 80% of all calories consumed. Oh, interesting. I think. I mean, that's again, I don't Google shit. I'm just saying that. Oh, see, he makes it up. That would make sense to me. What's the difference between you and a gorilla, Keith? Is it your muscles? Maybe. That's the big difference. You think it's the brain?

Yes, I think it's the brain. Explain that. Please explain that. The brain requires so much constant caloric intake and so much rest and so much. Bro, evolution, we're the only ones with a brain like this. If you think it was easy, there'd probably be more of them. Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah, you know how we eat so many varied foods and we have to have such trace minerals. It's because we got special pathways happening, bro.

I see what you mean. But what's the real answer? Because that's probably wrong. Oh, I feel dumb as hell. Right? I'm like, yeah, I get it. I get it. Someone first points out, ridiculous amounts. A human male requires 2,500 calories a day. A silverback gorilla

eats nearly four times that. Oh, man. Okay, so we're just starting from a not true state. But there's another part of this, which is humans produce a protein called myostatin that inhibits muscle growth. It makes it difficult to grow big muscles. Oh, that's a hating-ass bitch.

Shane could use a little. I got some I got extra I got some on my back pocket I got a plethora of that Having too much muscle slows you down And tires you and your heart out That protein limits muscle growth

So that humans don't need to consume ridiculous amounts Of anything and can survive when resources Are low. Gorillas don't need to consume ridiculous amounts of anything and can survive when resources are low. Gorillas don't have that protein. That is true. So I'm assuming humans do have the ability to not eat for a while and survive. I also think humans I may be wrong. I think humans

are more built for endurance. I've always heard they talk about how ancient humans would hunt things by just kind of chasing them down day after day. And they would outrun us and suddenly we'd come about the horizon. I disagree with what you're saying. Because I'm... Wait, wait, no, wait.

No, no, no. It's not an opinion. He remembers. He's been there. He remembers what he used to do. I am five million years old. What did you used to do, Keith? He didn't used to chase him for a couple days.

What was your strategy? I want you to go to a science talk and be like, I disagree with what you're saying. Oh, my God. I do because you said we're here for endurance, right? What did you say you said? I said, yeah, we're here for endurance. He said for a good time, not a long time.

No, I'm here for love. Okay. You feel me? Okay. Y'all need to get on it. Give him the love train. You don't think love requires a little endurance? Actually, you've been saying some

real shit lately. You keep saying some real shit. Most people are saying that gorillas eat so much more food than us. They have to basically constantly be eating. You know what's funny? Shane, I've mentioned this to you before, but there

is, I believe it was an old old forum, maybe even before read it of a bodybuilding forum This is a famous forum that I need you to look up so you can read it and it is Bodybuilders commenting on how he eats gorilla chow and he found gorilla chow seen his body building because it's large calories It's only 18% sawdust and it's super cheap Straight up buys it from no bodybuilding forums used to be the most insane thing ever. People eat dog food now because it's high in protein, low in cost. Is chow like doo-doo?

No. What is chow? Chow is like food, like chow. But like gorilla chow? I mean, in French, I think it's goodbye. Gorilla chow? Dog chow and like, you know, like gorilla chow. Bachelor chow.

It's like gorilla food. Oh, why did he say that then? Like, why couldn't he have said something else? Because that's what they called it. I think they call it gorilla chow. I think it's a bag. I ain't never heard of this. It's something they chowed out on. I was going to say what I also think,

because they're talking about how they have to constantly be eating, and they're eating, like, large amounts, but they're eating just, like, grass and fruits and stuff. Oh, that sucks. But I remember there was a time. I feel really bad for them, dude. Imagine you had to eat four times the amount you do now, but you got to eat just, like, shit. I'm going to go to this dude and throw him for them, dude. Imagine I need four times the amount you do now, but you got to eat just like shit.

I'm going to go to the zoo and throw them a burger, man. Bro, fuck it. Here's my charity. Drop steaks in the forest. We get helicopters. I don't think gorillas want to eat steaks. You don't know? Have you ever attempted to feed a gorilla Wagyu?

Wagyu? You're telling me that guy's going to put it down easy? You're like, no, bro, the grass. What are you doing What is this I want the nuts Trying to grab me nuts Listen to this man

Knock on wood What I was gonna say is Because I think humans have evolved around fire too Like we cook our things externally Like we partially digest our things externally by cooking them. Oh, you're right. That helps in digestion. You're right.

So maybe they don't want the raw meat. Okay, so we drop Gordon Ramsay. That's why gorillas don't have those big stomachs. You're telling me that's why they got great... They've got the, like, huge stomachs. That's because they digest things so differently. Oh, internally. I thought you meant externally.

You were commenting on their looks. Oh. Gorillas you meant externally. You were commenting on their looks. Oh. Gorillas look really cool. Another subreddit is our fellow kids. Oh, yeah. Love it. You've heard of this one. It's going to be like 80-year-olds with their hats backwards. This is where adults try to appeal to kids,

and it comes off just super cringy. I have one post that I found. It's where the lunch ladies at a school left a note out. They left this placard out. I want to love lunch ladies, so I'm hoping for them. I know, I know. But they clearly like, this is like the instructions

for when you're in line at lunch at school what you should do. So they go, starts off and goes, Bruh, you must have at least one fruit or vegetable to count as a lunch no cap just yeet one on your tray so you can slay all day oh you can take up to two fruits and two veggies if you want we don't want you getting hungry later that would be low-key skibbity ohio stay bussing stay bussing You're the goat I don't like this

The lunch lady Oh my god This Okay look We're not about to go here But I'm gonna go here This was obviously A white woman

Middle aged white woman In an inner city school Go harder We should pull their funding Bro We should pull it Why do they have an arts program? No

Right? No I cannot do this with him Six periods of English No no no That's it That's what the whole school gets Something's really wrong Yo Six periods of English. No, no, no, no. That's it. That's what the whole school gets. Something's really wrong.

Six periods of English to a P.E. They have us here talking about vegetables a lot. Oh, my God. I'm talking shit. For all of you guys out there, that's what's currently going on right now. I'll cut you off. Tell me about it. I don't got nothing else to say.

She's a white woman who what? She's, I said what I didn't say. An inner city school white woman? Tell me about it. No, she's just trying to keep up with the youth. And she's trying to see more, what's the word I'm looking for? Relatable. Yeah, she's trying to connect.

Which never goes right in situations like that. And it didn't go right even hearing you read it. It was cringe as fuck. I just don't like it. Just don't do that. Speak how you speak. She's serving lunch. She's got a cap with the tag still on it.

They're like, you're 20 years behind, lady. Her hair's split down the middle. Two hairheads. One on each half. Lady, do you not realize we take the tag off now? That was a long time ago. It is pretty interesting how she somehow blended almost two distinct languages. It was like two different generational periods of the same.

She speaks every language. Yes, she does. She's fluent in every language. As a lunch lady, she should have taken the money. She should have taken the money. I'm done. I'm done. I do think that if you want to be relatable to kids

and you want to try to use their language, for me, what was always effective as a kid is just cursing. That's the closest thing I think you can get to talking like I would. Take a fucking veggie, dude. I think that'd be so much more clear to me. If you wanted my attention, instead of the sign saying, like, yo, eat two veggies or, like, two things or it's not a lunch, if you just said, like, bro, like, no, take out bro.

Okay, sorry. Hey, fucking idiot. two veggies or like two things or it's not a lunch if you just said like bro like no take out bro okay so hey fucking idiot you need to eat carrots or you're gonna die the end if I don't see you with some carrots you're dumb I think you're getting fired I get fired from most jobs

and that's why I got hired here oh my god no one else accepted me they didn't even know it was me. I'm telling you, I showed up Guatemalan. Josh. Oh, my God. He's getting on my nerves. I can't stand him.

Dude, I had Keith audition for me. He didn't even know me. Somehow we're both here still. No, he gets on my nerves. Oh, my God. Our final subreddit What could be weirder I just wonder what he's gonna say next There's a subreddit called don't put your dick in that

Oh god I'm listening It's just things where it's like hey man don't put your dick in that Don't do it Someone posted this photo They're like these dishes better Quit playing Is that a butthole?

Oh I love it Fish soap They did the little hole They did that This is real These are banana washers That you can find on Amazon Banana washers

For washing the Ex exterior of the banana. Can I say what it looks like? I think we all know what it looks like. Okay, I'm not going to say it. To me, it looks like someone found a new use for a Dyson fan. I don't like him. If no one's seen what a banana cleaner looks like,

it kind of looks like a con air. I don't think a banana cleaner is a real thing. No, you don't think so? Why would you need to clean the banana before you peel it? Look, Shane, let's be honest. If people are using it for what you're suggesting, why do they need the machine? You clean a banana with your hands. Ooh.

See, he's really saying some shit today. Shane. Hands down. You go back and forth between being like, this guy is incredible to I hate this guy so much. Like, back and forth. But when it's good, it's good. I give credit where credit is due.

I'm killing it, dog. That's what I'm talking about. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. See, right now, I can't stand him. Can't stand him. Oh, no.

Someone put this tub of butter. Hey! Wow. I don't know. Some people might say any tub of butter. Someone put this. They found this in the woods. It's a side of a tree.

They said where the moss is greener, I put my wiener. Oh, my God. That's great. Love that. That's awesome. Oh my god, you know what? That reminds me. There's a place that you can hike to where I grew up as a kid at Victory Chaw Heads, but you keep going up, you keep going up, there's a place known as the Vagina Caves. What? Then that's it.

It's like a huge, it looks like probably like an 80 foot vagina. Is that where they write the monologues? The vagina monologues. And you know what's so interesting about them is that you enter in what would be and you know what's so interesting about them is that you enter in what would be you know the vaginal canal and when you go in there you go in and it's kind of interesting shaped

and you can kind of go up and then there's a spot to look out and it would kind of be where like maybe the pee hole is oh I said the belly button can I say that? what the fuck are you talking about? I'm saying that if you want to I can hike you to a place with large, almost female anatomy in nature. It's beautiful.

Oh, my God, no. Like all female anatomy. Okay, man. Is it really called the vagina cave? I don't. Or do you call it that? See, he just be making stuff up. See, that's the thing.

I was introduced to them. Look, there was an 80-foot man, and he's like, yo, don't put your dick in this. But I'm going to show you. It's a great place to hike it was just like a spot on a trail and that was like oh I'm gonna take you to like the vagina caves it was like what I've been there three times in my life a lot of graffiti in there it's a lot

a lot of graffiti in there that's crazy don't put your dick in it. Well, it kind of will be because you're going in the cave in general. What were you saying? I was gonna say, side note, thinking of graffiti, I'm very fascinated by, like,

seeing graffiti in places where I'm like, how the hell did they... Like, I was driving the other day, and there was an abandoned building, and like a big, like, tall building, like at least ten stories, and there was graffiti, like, on the sides of the building where I was driving the other day, and there was an abandoned building, and a big, tall building, at least 10 stories. And there was graffiti on the sides of the building, where I was like, how did they do it? Are they rappelling off the sides?

I think so. They're building their own scaffolding. They're building scaffolding, getting up there, spray painting it, and then taking it all down. Yeah, I think it's like some things is light rappelling, because I've seen, you know, unlike freeway overpasses in Los Angeles, there's some areas that you can kind of access

if you were to climb a fence with a little bit of barbed wire, but you'd still have to like be going down onto something that's hanging over the freeway. And unfortunately, I've seen multiple videos of people in Los Angeles falling as they're tagging. They're all usually fine because you know, they're falling, it sucks, but you fall about 20 feet.

Like, yeah, you're probably like messed up, but like you're like you're not dead but like yo dude's tagging and someone's filming him tagging as and again it's la it's like 5 p.m so no one's driving fast he's just like falling like falls it hits a car and everyone's like yeah that's what's gonna happen when you're trying to do that much there is everywhere i remember when i was young there was this there was this like tunnel like kind of where the floods would come out of, you know? Like in the wash, in the canals. And kind of like the LA River. It would lead to this one tunnel

and there was a gate in front of it, but it was propped open, that someone had propped it open. There was like a rock holding that open. And my buddies and I went in it once. And I mean, this was like endless. This tunnel went on so long that it was just endless darkness. And you're walking.

It's like, it's like high up. It's a big tunnel. But you get to the point where the entrance is like a tiny blip of light. But that far down, there's still tons of graffiti. I'm like, when does this end? Like, how far do people go in just to do graffiti? Yeah. Blows my mind.

Because I'm like, at that point, you're not like tagging. Yeah. This isn't a public display. This is just kind of to... That's where they practice. I hope nobody sees this. Yeah. I used to be good friends

with someone who showed me the vagina caves, but they run like a hiking page for like Los Angeles. If anyone's in Los Angeles and wants to visit, I think it's called like LA Hikes or some simple shit.

But he would take me in the abandoned gold mines, which is kind of similar to these tunnels that you're talking about where they just go on for miles in different directions. Some of them are collapsed. Some of them are, areas are flooded.

And, you know, you walk down these mines for maybe 20 minutes. You're in the middle of nowhere. You know, it splits into a fork. You decide to take one turn and you go and it's a dead end, maybe another quarter mile. But in that dead end, it's then just mannequins and like random shit.

Just like whole scenes that people have set up. Little baby dolls. Because people who like to go through these caves. Someone hiked up the mountains and brought an entire scene just to freak whoever the fuck was going to go there next. The dedication blows my mind. Yeah. Like you had to be in that mind for like an hour in total darkness.

Like it's insane. And then we ate a can of beans back there. Chili. Can of chili. Really bad chili. Wow. Are you ready to go? Because.

Are we ready to wrap this up because you talking about chili canes and chili eat some chili I'm good you don't want to eat chili in the mines fine

hell no with mannequins that are scary look that's what we do in California get used to it well I'm from Ohio where pets are being eaten

am I right Skibbity Ohio Skibbity Ohio where pets are being eaten shit wow well thatity, am I right? Skibbity, Ohio. Skibbity, Ohio. Where pets are being eaten. Shit. Wow. Well, that's all the subreddits I've got for today.

Yeah. Thank you. Thank you both for being here. This was fun. I had a good time. This was a great time. Yeah. I think I love you again.

You do? I do. Give it two minutes. Hit that elbow. Ow. That's right. Nice. Got it done. That hurt.

All right. Well, yeah. Thanks. You're welcome. How many times are you going to say it?'s right. Nice. Got it done. That hurt. All right. Well, yeah. Thanks. You're welcome. How many times are you going to say it? All right. Fuck you. All right.

Thank you guys for watching. We'll see you later. Bye. Bye.