Smosh Mouth - #77 - Reading Our Teenage Journals Again

Episode Date: January 20, 2025

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Download the bed MGM Ontario app today. Visit bed MGM.com for terms and conditions. 19 plus to wager Ontario only. Please gamble responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Hello, welcome to Smosh Mouth. I'm Shane. And I'm Amanda. How are you guys? It is 2025. That's right. Yeah, it is. We're recording this on the 14th. This is our first podcast we're recording. This is our first day of filming anything this year.

We were going to film last week. And it's our first time recording since the fires here in la uh which have been i i mean there's a bunch of adjectives devastating heartbreaking the fires have been like going throughout la la county um palisades it's been atadena yeah pasadena um it's been. Pasadena. Yeah. Pasadena. It's been wild. What's amazing to me is that you forget that, you know, the news connects everybody. So everyone's reaching out to you, checking in. Right. And you're like, I'm figuring this out as we go. Yeah.

Kind of deal. I didn't understand the, like, as it was happening Tuesday night, which Tuesday was just weird because the winds I've never experienced and I've lived out here for a long time. And those were freakish winds. And then you add fire to it. You didn't really understand the scope of it until you saw like overhead footage of the devastation. I mean, I still don't know if I fully i'm gonna fully grasp it until i drive past parts of i agree that are just gone like malibu and um but i feel like with these fires we we know at least one to two people have lost their homes during these fires i don't know anyone who doesn't know someone like everyone knows someone who lost a home. And that, I've never been evacuated

or had a warning my entire time living in LA. It's not normal. No, it's not. I've never even had the thought in the 20 years I've lived out here. I've never had the thought of, oh, I maybe will have to go. Right.

It was definitely a weird, it's very lucky that I didn't have to evacuate. Same. The fear was there and it's that very existential moment of like, let's pack up what we're going to take. Pack up what you have. And you have this moment where you're like, I have maybe

anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour to, like, if it's bad, to figure out what is most important to me. And what do you bring, you know? Like, I mean, I was just thinking clothes. But then, of course, you know, your passport, documents that matter to you. There's the practical side, right? Of like, what do I need so that I can like function? Right. And then it's also the sentimental stuff of like,

what is the most important emotional pieces in my, and that's, that f***s you up. Even thinking about it f***s you up. Yeah, I was reading that a lot of people in the Palisades, their biggest thing were mementos, like baby albums, photo albums, and everything else they had to leave behind. Yeah.

The thing, I will say there's a silver lining a little bit to this, is that the people of L.A. have really, really come together. Unbelievably so. Like the donation centers, Smosh did an amazing job. The people are coming together. I was hearing that a lot of sites were full up on volunteers. People were coming trying to volunteer and they're like, we have too many volunteers. Which is unbelievable. And like, there's not really anything good that you can say about the fires at all. But what you

can look at is be like, holy shit, the place that I live, they're so connected and so community oriented. Yeah. And it's, I think for people who don't live in LA, it's a place that gets heavily stereotyped because there's a lot of reality TV, a lot of movies and stuff that's like, this is what LA is. LA is so big. It's a collection of a bunch of different types of communities. And there's a lot of people going, oh, it's just a bunch of rich celebrities who lost their homes.

And especially like when you talk about like Altadena, I mean, it's not. Not at all. And there's tons of apartment complexes, tons of just small businesses. I mean, this was so big. I mean, it was just devastating. It's wild, but i agree with you it has been um and this is historically true that in the face of devastation people tend to like communities

come together it shows how good a lot of people are yeah plenty of bad people in the world we hear about that all the time but there's definitely so many incredible people out there. Yeah. And it's still, you know, it's still going on right now. Like as we are doing, as we are doing this,

there are still people, you know, who aren't allowed to drink their water. There's still people who are just reeling from their homes and the fire has, uh, the wind has kind of kicked up again. But as of right now a lot of areas where the air quality was so bad has gotten a lot better because we're all back yeah and i mean the firefighters uh man all those uh footage of uh those planes and helicopters

dropping stuff it is so insane people were kind getting it. There was one Instagram account that was like, we will only be posting helicopter drops from now on because some of them were unbelievable. all over the place. It looks so cool. They've done a, I think they've done an incredible job. Yeah. I don't understand. I have moments where I, I talk as if I understand what's going on where I'm like looking at the apps. I'm like,

yeah, so they've got a 35% contained. So that probably means this area. I'm like, I, after a second, I'm like,

I actually have no idea what any of it means. Everyone's like that. They downloaded WatchDuty app. Everybody became like a weather reporter. 100%.

Overnight. They're like, so the winds are traveling east and it's actually 1% contained, which means and you're like, huh? It's really funny. And I do it too, where everybody like gets locked in and they become an expert. 100%. For a little bit. And they call people like, hey, how's it going?

Where are you at? Like, what's going on with you? It's like, kind of they i don't know why and maybe this is bad but it's easy for us to go into emergency mode yeah because we've experienced covid and other things but we're like what's going on no we were me and so many people were calling each other being like what's it looking like over there yeah so. So from me here, I can definitely see the fires. It was interesting. It's how we cope. I mean, really, it's like we have to be involved somehow.

Yeah. No, there was a couple nights where everyone was just terrified. No matter how far away you were from it, because new fires were starting up everywhere. Do you remember the mistake alert that came out? Yeah, there was a couple. There was the one that happened during the day and then there was one at 4 a.m.

What's the term for those? Just alerts on your phone? Yeah. It's an alert we've never had before. It's almost like Amber Alert when you get an Amber Alert. But it's for fires. But someone clicked all of LA County. They were saying it's an alert we've never had before. It's almost like Amber Alert when you get an Amber Alert. But it's for fires. But someone clicked all of LA County. They were saying it's a system.

So it's not like a person was responsible for it. I definitely was imagining someone somewhere in some office being like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And then they were like, Richard? And then they sent another alert literally saying, my bad. Yeah. They sent another alert like 10 minutes later being like, I'm so sorry. Oh. He like typed it out.

He's like, my bad. Ooh. A woman opens the door. She's like, Richard, did you just hit that? He's like, no. No. And it was after we got the alert that was like, my bad, I definitely turned to Courtney. I was like, it'll unfortunately be a little funny if

we get another alert that's like okay but this one's now serious but it wasn't we didn't get i didn't get any alert was really bad it was saying all of la county had to evacuate i know i know which is which is 10 million people by the way that would have been a mass migration that we've never seen before. But I feel like people were kind of like, wait a second. No, people were skeptical. I definitely was like, I looked at the app. I was like, and I also looked outside.

I'd be like, I'm not seeing anything. I know I can't really judge based on that but yeah you can't because when i looked outside my the air above my apartment building was black yeah so it's like huh no it looked it looked like hell we left because the air quality was so bad and we got a couple warnings but we left and then people were like you know there was just like you never know you never know and i'm like yeah no uh i definitely stayed inside for the most part there was a day where i i had to run uh an errand and i it wasn't too bad in my area and i was wearing a mask but i definitely felt it i by the time i got home i was like oh my head hurts a little bit yep headaches, headaches. And I'm like, this is just smoke. This is like building smoke.

Immediate headaches. This is chemicals and stuff. It's awful. And it's certainly, you know, it's certainly a little weird. I knew we were like, okay, but we're going to have to go back and do what we do.

Yep. I'm like, okay. But the way I kind of saw it was, you know, we are here to make people laugh. We're here to help you relax, chill, vibe out. And we've probably been, there's so many of our listeners who have probably lived through so much worse catastrophes and we've been there to make them laugh during that. So I'm like, we're going to do that when we're in the middle of a crazy zone too. And now we are.

Yeah. We're very fortunate. Everyone. I mean, I think everyone here at Smosh was very lucky, which, you know, it was a roll of the dice for pretty much everyone in L.A. Yep. So with that, we're going to get into what we do. We're going to get into we're going to add a little bit of normalcy back. Exactly. What's going on. We're going to get into something a little fun. Yeah. Which which i think is very good even in times like this which is i mean i mean honestly i i almost understood like i kind of almost put in perspective what we do a little bit because

like during some of those nights you are kind of like oh I just want to listen to something chill. Yes. See, I'm the opposite. During those nights, I want to watch crime occur on documentaries. Wow, these fires are really bad. I should watch someone get murdered. I want to watch assassins. Okay. Like, I binged all... What? No, I know.

I know. It's wrong. I binged all of The Day of the Jackal, which someone told me to watch. I don't know if you've seen it. Eddie Redmayne, he's an assassin and he's a mimic. It's pretty cool. Is this where? Okay, I saw this clip where he's like tying a rope to a rifle and a tree.

And he's like. Yeah, yeah. I saw that clip on the internet for some reason. Why did they show that clip? I don't know. That's a small part of the show. Because it's a remake of another movie. And so they're showing how the old movie had the exact same. What? Oh, the jackal?

Yeah, just they were showing that. Well, anyways. Okay. I binged that. Excellent. And then I read a book about a female assassin. What's that book called? You forgot the name of the book? Wait, hold on. I just started it. It doesn't matter. I can't think of it.

Okay. Wow. We'll think about it. It doesn't matter. I can't think of it. Okay. Wow. We'll think about it. It's been a time. Whoa, how did I forget? Whatever. Speaking of books. It'll come up in 10 minutes. Speaking of books, that's what I was doing. Because it was so weird. You're at home. You can't go outside. It's just weird. You're just like, everything's tense. Yeah.

I have read so many books this year. I know that. I have read so many books this year. I'm on a roll. No, but I'm on a roll unlike last year. So I have a goal this year. I have a goal this year. A lot of people have reading goals. Book talk goes hard, though, which TikTok, I don't know if it's still around as of this episode being aired. But crazy. A lot of people do like 100 books a year.

And I've never done that. My goal is 50 books. Do they ever talk to people? Some people read fast. I'm trying to read 50 books this year. Whoa! Slow down, Captain. But get this.

We're recording this on the 14th. I've already read five books. I'm on a roll. Riddle me this. How did you read five books in 14 days? I've just been reading so much. No, no, no.

How did you read five books in 15 days? I've just been reading a lot. I don't believe you're a reader. That's just... I also just been reading so much. No, no, no, no. How did you read five books in 15 days? I've just been reading a lot. I don't believe you're a person. That's just, I also have been- Receipts. For some reason, I've been waking up at like 5 a.m. lately. I love, I do love that.

I can't, I don't know why I wake up at 5 a.m. How many do you go to bed? 10 to 11. Are you wild? That's barely enough sleep. No, it's, what are you talking about? That's crazy. 10 to 5 is seven hours.

What? Well, as a female, we need eight plus, and everyone knows this. So it's crazy that you're doing that. Good for you. Okay. So I wake up at five, and then I'm like, okay, I'll read for like an hour or two, depending on like... And no one's awake.

And I'm just chilling there with like... I got like a lamp that's got a very like kind of dim light on it. So I chill. It's still dark. I'm like, I'm going to read a book. My cat will like kind of chill there with me. Like a Christmas carol. I don't know why.

I've just been on fire. And yeah, I've read a bunch of books. They're frigging awesome. What are the books that you've read? Okay. So I read The Buried Giant by Ishiguro is his last name. He wrote Never Let Me Go, which is awesome. And another book I love called Claire and the Sun.

This was like a very King Arthur's Court type of tale. Ooh, love. Very interesting. I read a book called James by Percival Everett, which might be my favorite so far. Just James? It's called James. It's a retelling of Huckleberry Finn from Jim's perspective. What?

And it is hilarious. Oh, it's a comedy book. It's a dark comedy. Because like, so Mark Twain, the way he wrote Jim is like very 1800s, how a white guy would write, you know and uh but in this they reveal that he is actually him and every other slave is code switching for white people and that in secret he's like a genius who's reading tons of books and is like super well spoken but he can't do that in front of white people whoa it is awesome and it is so funny. How many pages are these books?

Those are both around 300. I read another book called The Sword of Kaigen, which is a very big book on BookTok. An interesting fantasy book. I don't know how to describe that one. Great. It's got a lot of elements of different types of things. And then I read a book called Nettle and Bone by T. Kingfisher. That book was awesome.

That was a very fairy tale type of book. And then I'm reading— Are you a library card member? I'm just going, man. Are you just Amazon-ing these? I like to go to bookstores and buy these books. And then I like to give books away, or I'll drop them off at some place. And now I'm reading The Poppy War by R.F. Kuang,

who's one of my favorite authors. Wow. Yeah, dude. I'm on a roll. Your cool level just shot to the roof. Yeah, man. Like you're unbelievable. I'm over here just, what do I do?

It's kind of all I've been interested in doing though. Like I don't. Do you read at night? I kind of, if I get hooked on a book, I'm reading it whenever I can. But otherwise, otherwise morning and night. Yeah. You're a good person to vacation with.

Oh, dude. Yeah, I'm chill. On vacation, I'm just chilling, dude. Do you talk to anybody? No, I say don't talk to me. Don't look at me. Don't talk to me. Maybe I take that back.

Maybe, maybe not the best person to vacation with. No, I'm just kidding. I love people that like bring their own entertainment when they vacation, you know? Yeah. You know when people are sitting there and they're like, so, what are we doing today? I actually rarely read a book on vacation. I'll bring a book and I just end up not reading it. Why? I think I end up just doing

stuff or talking to people. I do end up talking to people. So, I don't end up reading. But if you were on a beach vacation, you would? Maybe. But I maybe would rather just go in the water or walk around. Swim water for hours or just time or sleep like you know i'm just like experiencing i'm taking it in yeah too much whereas when i'm home i'm like there with a book it's yeah um wow well speaking of books and speaking of also going back something that i did grab and put in my bag and the possibility of evacuation was my journal

journals we're here to read some very good segue thank you that was x i even i was done i probably could have segued better better by just being like and now journals and something else and something else that is also a thing journals something else that also exists in the world my journals no but real talk i have i have had a journal since i was a little girl it was 101 dalmatian with a lock and key on it no one could see it duh but i've i've kept a journal my whole life constantly i constantly have a journal going and i always finish it. So I just got a brand new journal and I cracked it open yesterday.

How long did it take you to finish your last journal? Um, it was a really big one. So I would say a little less than a year. Damn. Usually my journals are per year. Okay, so can I show you something? Show me

something. I showed this last year. So I have, I brought three things here. Whoa, that bottom journal looks like it's from Lord of the Rings. I read this, I read some of this last time. Oh, yeah, yeah. This was my first ever journal. It's very, the pages are very, like. How old were you? I was 15 when I got this.

Ah, okay. And as you can tell by like the cover and everything, I really wanted to be deep. Yeah, I can see that. And I read some of the passages where I'm like, here's what I think about the universe. I remember this. It's almost like you wrote a journal knowing that someone was going to read it. That's my issue with a lot of my journals. Now, this took me a couple years to finish and it's not dense.

This journal is the second journal I got. I got this when i was like 19 and as of right now i am like five pages left and so i am actively trying to journal every day and finally oh my god finish this but this is the first journal i got as an adult so i've only had one journal for the past 15 years It's just Well this is also This is the thing that sucks about this journal And I hate this journal

You can't open it fully It keeps closing on you while you're trying to write No no no I mean about my entries and how it's been written Oh you judge your entries Is that I do is that Often times when interesting things are happening in my life I don't journal i forget

and there are just massive gaps in here there's years where i didn't write in this that's why it's taken so long and so it's missing a lot of like the biggest moments of my life and so many journal entries are like oh man i haven't written in this in forever oh and i'm like and so i'm constantly playing a game of keep up and that's made it hard to like get to a place and i'm like and so i'm constantly playing a game of keep up and that's made it hard to like get to a place where i'm talking about my day because i kind of have always feel like well i need to kind of catch up with it um it fluctuates too there are definitely pages where i read it and i go oh this was me doing like an affirmation post like it's all over the place it's not like consistent no i get that and it's. And so I kind of am excited to get done with it and start a new one and be like, this is what I'm going to do this.

This is the way I'm going to do this. And I'm going to stick to it. You know, I do get that. Actually, there are some journals that I'm like, where did I where did I fall off on this one? I started a new thing as of last year. So you're going to roll your eyes at this. But one of my favorite astrologers, Channing Nicholas, she's amazing. I was going to say Channing Tatum.

One of my favorite astrologers. Channing Tatum. Channing Tatum. He actually started astrology in Step Up. It was really cool. This great astrologer, Magic Mike. Magic Mike. Yeah, he was reading people's astrology while he was stripping on them.

No, so. Some people, that while he was stripping on them. No, so. Some people, that's probably a real person out there. She's amazing. I've been following her for years and years and years. She made her own. It's like a journal calendar hybrid. So it's a thick book. It has your astrology chart in it.

But every day has like a long space with like not many journal prompts i don't like journals that have a lot of prompts uh-huh but it'll it'll like tell you about the moon and stuff like that but it'll be like daily and it makes me write daily and get this it's not many many many pages so i just like write in the thing and it it is so nice because i'm actually kind of writing almost every i'm every day i'm thinking about getting something like that i would it gives you prompts i just i think i need that i think some people have prompt for me prompts take up the free space yeah but i i love something that holds me accountable and it's not like an endless book that you're opening and you're like, dear diary.

Because I'm the same as you. My brain goes faster than my hand, so I end up writing scribble cursive. Yeah, I was telling you before we started recording that I have far more written on computers. I have hundreds of pages of just free writing because there I can just go. And I'm just going wild. You're a computer journalist. Yeah, and I don't love that. I love handwritten stuff.

I love the look of journals and everything. But my hand posture is horrible. And handwriting, I'm just very slow. My handwriting sucks. I hate looking at it afterwards. Aw, Shane. I can't help but judge it so hard. Don't. Here's the thing. Don't

look back at your writing. I had to for this. Oh yeah, so did I, for sure. So we're going to read a bunch of these. Mine, I will say, I have so many journals, but they're all in storage. So mine are from similar entries that we read the last time, but they're different pages.

Great. That's fine. And they are, whew, drama. But how many journals do you have in storage? Oh, so you know the— Dozens? Dozens. So there's like this plastic, you know the big plastic bin? Yeah.

There's one filled. Oh my God. Uh-huh. That's so cool and then I have a full drawer of journals I always think about how valuable that could be like a hundred years from now

like not even like a family descendant just anyone just being like oh my god like a bunch of journals from like how if I went to a bookstore and I found this old leather book and they're like yeah this is a journal from someone in the 1800s yeah who's on a ship i'm taking this yeah i would read it immediately reading anything from that time that's so well this is like such a

random thing but when i went to ireland on vacation we went to the titanic museum in belfast because that's where the titanic was built and they showed us people's journal entries and like writing and writing on the ship what do you know no too soon just one journal entry just like oh well well here's, here's the thing. That's funny. I don't feel so good about this because they had actual recordings of people because that's how they didn't hear the iceberg warning because rich people were sending out telegrams and there are actual voices of rich people being like, we have to get the children out. We're not doing well. And then another, the Titanic to the Californian,

tells them to shut up. They're like, shut up. Stop sending us ice warnings. Like, we need to get, like, stop sending us these warnings like you're clogging up our system. But the Californian was sending them ice warnings. It says shut up. I'm telling you, I learned so much at the Titanic Museum. Was it three and a half hours long? Yes, it was. I can't believe the Titanic reference smosh. Oh, you're

so dumb. I just got that. Shut up. Oh my god. Sorry. There was a picture of Ian and Anthony too. They were like They were like That's really, genuinely that's really good. There was a picture of Ian and Anthony too. They were like. That's really, genuinely, that's really good. Uh-huh. Yeah, we're done.

Okay. Okay. You're done. Just kidding. Do you want to go first? What? Did you just find it? Don't look at that.

No. Okay, I won't look at that. We will not be looking at that. What the hell? Fans are going to be speculating on what that was. I know. Of course they are. All it says is I love blah, blah, blah, and it was three of my crushes.

So don't worry, guys. Nice. That's awesome. Okay, I'll read this one, and y'all are going to think I am slutty. Okay, everything's fine. Okay, I'll read this one. It's quick. I'm gonna have to change some names. This is from 2003. Nice. Friday. You remember being obsessed with Friday? I was. Friday. Hey, my B-Day was wicked fun.

I didn't really get a lot of presents, but whatever. Written as W slash E. Whatever. Tomorrow, I'm going to New Hampshire to see Auntie Carolyn and tubing and skiing for Caroline's 13th birthday. The past two nights, people in my grades had parties. Marky's was Wednesday. I hooked up with Doug just because I wanted to. He was like,

he was like two more minutes. I was like, how about 10 more seconds? Ha ha ha. Independent woman right here. Nice. Nice. I wrote that Then John's

He was like grinding with me while I was standing still Ew Gross Gross I'm changing all these names by the way These are not their real names I talked to Joe like the whole time He's a really sweet guy

Anyways it was wicked fun. Wicked fun. Amy connected with Mark, but she's got to understand, has to see for herself that Lindsay and him will not last. Well, G2G, me hungry. I like Mike. Not really. Just that he's kind of great. I also like John hopeless case.

I like Matt pointless. It boggles my mind. There is nobody in life that I could spend the rest of my life with. I just, I just don't get it. Like it's pissing me off. God, send me an angel. Amen. Holy shit. End of entry. I also like this guy. Pointless. And I like this guy. Dead case. I'm pretty proud of myself that it was like two more minutes. How

about two more seconds? Independent woman right here. No, that's definitely who I was. I was like, please. That's so funny. That was wicked fun. Having a wicked good time. Oh, I said wicked all the time. I'm sure.

You were in Boston. Wicked. Okay. So that was the end of that one. You said gotta go. That was the end. Oh, once I say G2G, I'm out of that journal entry. You did G2G.

Oh, yeah. Not GTG. GTG. Never. I would never touch that shit. It's always got to go. I never saw it. GTG?

I didn't see G2G too much. G2G. Yeah, everyone else. It makes sense. I didn't see it that often. Saw GTG. Where are you from? It makes sense. I didn't see it that often. Saw GTG. Where are you from? Arizona.

We would send a cactus to each other. No, you didn't. No. That's cute. I would love it if you did, though. You're like, hey, what's up, cactus? Friday. Friday.

Okay, your turn. All right. I've got, so I didn't read this last time. And I found this and I was like, well, I should read this. So this is from 2007. So this is September 17th. I wrote journal entry, September 17th. Like you wouldn't know it's a journal entry.

I think you thought this was going to be like dug up in an archaeology site and people are going to be like, oh my goodness. I was definitely thinking like, ah, yes. Yes, they will find the Shane Topp journal. This is a natural Hugo Wells here. Jules Verne type. Okay. September 17th. I auditioned for a show called iCarly a while back.

God. But, okay. I auditioned for a show called iCarly a while back, but never heard anything. Last Friday. Friday. My manager called saying I'd been called to producers for a different role on iCarly. A preppy upscale private school boy.

I had a great time auditioning and that's all I care about. I know something big is on the way though. Maybe it's making it big in acting or maybe it's something else. Who knows? I'm just going with the flow. September 22nd. Oh shoot. A few days later. Journal entry September 22nd. Oh, shoot. A few days later.

Okay. Journal entry, September 22nd. Ah, very good. Yesterday, my mom got a call from my agent. Suddenly, she turned around with two thumbs up in the air. Her face was full of excitement. I had booked the iCarly audition. I was going to be a guest star on the show. Looks like something big was on its way.

It was. Pretty legit. And you know what it was? Okay, journal entry, September 23rd. Something big was on its way. It was. Pretty legit. And you know it was. Okay, journal entry, September 23rd. Oh my God. Thank God you're labeling these. Tomorrow is the start of my big week.

It will be strange walking into Nikon Sunset and not just standing in the main lobby, but actually going back onto the set. This is going to be very exciting. September 24th. You're really giving us just the stark details, and I love it. Very good. Most 16-year-old boys don't have journals, so give me credit. No, you're killing it. September 24th.

Woke up and drove to Nick on Sunset. We showed up early, so we walked down to the Rite Aid we always would go to before I would audition. I walked into the set and met up with the teacher. And then a dark-haired girl walked in. She had brown eyes. Miranda, this is Shane. She looked towards me with a smile and shook my hand.

Nice to meet you, she said. Nice to meet you, too, I said with a dash of nervousness. I met two other members of the show within the next five minutes. A kid named Noah. He was very nice and outgoing for an 11-year-old. And Jeanette, a blonde-haired girl. All of them were much nicer than I expected. We spent the next five hours in that same room

doing schoolwork. Jeanette left to work on school with her mom, and Noah did so as well. Our teacher, Patty, pulled out the guinea pig they had in the room. Miranda and I sat there petting him for about 20 minutes. I realized how over-exaggerated celebrities and people on TV are. They're

normal human beings. Miranda and I talked about normal things, things everyone talks about. The guinea pig's name was Tripod due to his one missing leg. I cracked a joke saying he lost it in Vietnam. I felt as if I was... You're 16 writing this?

Yeah. Like a grown-ass man. I know. A dash of nervousness. Hearing it with a beard. Thank God. I felt as if I was fitting in well. Of course, we haven't done any acting at all since the writers are working on the script.

Maybe they are adding me more lines. Ooh, wishful thinking. September 25th. Today was awful. And I can blame my damn nerves. I arrived on set at 7.30am, so I had to wake up at 6. I was tired and not at all at my full potential. I went down for the table read. Little problem, I have no clue what a table read is. So I sat down with all the actors, writers, director, and all the people. My lines had changed. I was still guest star, but it still threw me off. Suddenly they said they would begin. Miranda burst out into the first lines. Since she had the first lines in the script, duh, I just went along with it as best I could. I only stumbled

over about two to three lines, so I didn't make a complete fool of myself. We went back to school for the next two hours. Then it was time for rehearsals. I felt viciously mediocre, and I couldn't suppress my nerves. After that, back to school for another hour. Then time for run-through. Of course, my big scene is the very first in the episode.

Oh my god, I was nervous. Ugh. Everyone was there watching. I felt awful. After that, my mom and I went directly home. Who are you? You're so eloquently spoken. And you're like, damn these nerves. Oh, damn my nerves. Damn these nerves.

I blew it. Miranda burst out. Of course, you're the first line. Duh. I realize celebrities are normal people. Yeah, tripod, I made a joke about Vietnam. I'm 16 years old. Yeah.

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This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Okay, September 26th. Journal entry or did you just stop doing that? There's journal entry in front of all these. Oh, well, I need that. As if I'm like on an expedition and our submarine has crashed. Truly, I think that's what you thought was going to happen. I definitely did.

Journal entry. This is when I'm like, I'm 16. Like, I'm getting. You're aware. I'm really into reading, but I'm like only reading classics. Oh, of course. I'm like, I'm definitely. Maybe dick before bed, mommy.

I'm reading a thousand leagues under the sea. Okay. September 26th, 2007. Ooh. I woke up this morning and realized I had a choice. This could either be a good day or a bad day, and I'm going with good. We arrived on set at 9.30, went straight to school.

I didn't feel as nervous today, and I was ready to rock them at rehearsals. Once rehearsals came, I went to set. I did great, so much better than yesterday. When run-through came, I was ready and willing. I rocked once again. Several people came up to tell me,

great job afterwards. I felt great. I won't be shooting tomorrow though, but on Friday, I will. Friday! Friday! You rocked twice in there.

I rocked twice, dude. My God. August 28th, September 28th. Yeah, I wrote August, but it's September 28th. I didn't go back in time.

Whoa, you actually messed up. I found a time machine and I went back in time. In fact, you didn't change that. I know, I wrote August, but it's September 28th. I didn't go back in time. Whoa, you actually messed up. I found a time machine and I went back in time. In fact, you didn't change that. I know, I'm surprised too. Okay, September 28th. Yesterday, there was no filming for me, so I had a nice relaxed day. Today, though, was filming.

The day went as usual until it was my time to film my scene. There was tons of extras since it was a school hallway scene. I stood out with my preppy clothing. I walked up to Miranda and started the scene. There was tons of extras since it was a school hallway scene. I stood out with my preppy clothing. I walked up to Miranda and started the scene. Carly Shay, for my Carly, right? Yeah, hi, she replied. Philip Brownlee, I'm a junior over at Briarwood Prep. I wrote out the

whole scene. I'm getting that. I wrote out the whole goddamn scene for some reason. Well, maybe that's going to help you memorize it. She goes, oh, cool. She looks at her shirt, which is covered in water. Oh oh the water fountain sprayed me ah i didn't want you to think i was sweaty or drooly haha you're even funnier in person listen changing from laughing to serious i'm the student council president at briarwood oh fancy you know we're the number one private school in in seattle the scene kept going for another two pages i went it went very smoothly

uh in two takes miranda tried to put on her hoodie and put it on backwards she got very embarrassed but i found it very funny after the scene was done i said goodbye to everybody jeanette and miranda gave me their uh aim screen names love aim so it wasn't going to be goodbye forever as i was heading out i stopped by the green room to my surprise josh peck was standing there it was only me and him in the room hey i said flatly hi josh he greeted me shane i greeted back so you like doing this oh yeah i love this whole environment and everything cool dude very cool he had to go after that. Wow. But it was still a cool encounter.

After we left set, I went home and slept. It was time for another chapter for something else to start. Holy goodness. Yeah. I completely forgot about the Josh Peck thing. Hey, very cool dude. Looking at that like, hey, nice to meet you.

Yeah, man. So, you like doing this? Yeah. Yeah. Very cool. And he wrote in his journal, he's like, some idiot. It's kind of wild that you wrote out your whole... I forgot I did. I kind of like... You were a pretty good writer.

You're writing out everything. Thanks. You're so welcome. And I mean that. Okay. I mean that truly. Okay, thank you. And how cool is that that you got to like see what you were really feeling on iCarly? Oh, I remember that. No, I frankly sucked so bad. The first rehearsals that week, I bombed.

Like I was so nervous. I like struggled with life. I know. It was my first. And it was like a big deal. I knew it was going to be a big show how did you know? so it's interesting especially back then

when Disney Channel and Nickelodeon were both kind of in a different era I remember when the first auditions for Hannah Montana came out and literally cast directors were like this is going to be the biggest show on television. And they were telling you this and it was like, this is going to be huge.

Is it because of Miley's dad or? I think they just know, like when scripts come out, like producers and Hollywood just goes, this is going to be big. Yep. And they called it and it was huge. And then iCarly was kind of the same.

They're like, this is going to be a huge show. And I don't think it had started airing yet. Maybe it had started, but this was the first season that I was on it. So much pressure. So it was massive. But it was also my first job, right? So I was just-

Huge first job. I was just like, oh my God. And I had done small things before this, but this was the like, oh, this is a big deal. And it's on this big set on sunset boulevard it was all the stereotypical stuff and um you know it just i had to kind of fail in order to be like oh i'm gonna be nervous no matter what i need to find the way to have fun yeah because i'm like why am i doing this right i'm not having fun exactly go back home exactly you're a smart little kid well back to my bullshit no but i get frustrated that i i know

i can tell that i'm like constricting like i'm not writing my genuine i want it kind of i wish i could kind of know what was really going on but to be completely honest i didn't know what was going on in my head for most of my life i think i think a kid that age who is on camera has already gotten like the aware bug, you know, like when they're aware of how they're talking and performing. I felt so perceived all the time. So that makes sense that you would journal like that.

Whereas like, you know, I wasn't freaking on TV. So like, I'm like, not a soul is ever going to read this. Yeah. And there's, and later on, I'm not going to read these, but you can tell there's like pages upon pages in journals later when I'm in my like early 20s where I'm writing about how I'm writing in a way that I think someone's like reading it. Yeah. And I'm like, who the fuck is reading this? I'm like, what does it fucking matter? That just shows me where your head was that you were just like constantly being perceived all the time.

I literally am writing about that. Yeah. You can read me writing about how I'm like, why do I care about who might do this? That's crazy. I know. But it's not crazy. What I'm saying is like, it's so cool to look back and go, oh my God, I know what I'm doing. I know what I was doing here.

It's especially eerie reading that type of stuff and'm doing i know what i was doing here it's especially eerie reading that type of stuff and knowing that that's how i was thinking that's 2007 that's before social media right yep and i'm like here i am struggling with the feeling of being perceived and now in 2025 now more than ever for the past like few years yeah everyone is dealing with the feeling of being perceived more than ever in human history. Now it's more prevalent, but I was feeling it back then. You were feeling it back, yeah.

But I was in the industry. And now the thing I say is everyone's in the entertainment industry. If you have TikTok, if you have social media, you are. If you have a public social media platform, you're in the entertainment industry. You are being perceived. You read the comments. You change certain parts of yourself to like match the comments right but i'm hoping that there's like a a redo a refresh things will morph they morph well okay 10 15 2002 this is really important. I love Romeo and Juliet!

Leonardo DiCaprio is so hot in that movie. It's so dramatic. It's all about two people who love each other. They would die for one another. Towards the ending, one takes a pill and everyone thinks she died. So Romeo goes, takes a pill, and dies. Juliet wakes up and kiss herself in the thought of not being able to live with

Oh! Shoots herself. Sorry. Not kiss. Shoots herself in the thought of not being able to live without Romeo. It was hard to see each other before death because of the parents not liking Romeo. It made it difficult to live together. God, I want to be in that movie.

I love Tuck Everlasting, too. Jesse Jackson was so hot. You know, Romeo and Juliet helps our daily life. What? Romeo and Juliet helps our daily life. It's so sad. But the point is to stop the family feud. After the suicide,

both fathers shake hands in a sign of alright, we're okay, see ya. I'm excited to watch it again, but reading will be hard. Bye! Reading will be hard on the count that I can't read.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, yeah, today's messy. It's raining and pouring like the old man is snoring. Went to bed, bumped his head, didn't wake up in the morning. You wrote out the whole saying. Stupid poem basically about concussions. What the hell? Or he could have been on drugs.

Something weird like that. Hi, hi, hi. You're going more in on that than Romeo and Juliet. Hi, hi, hi, ho, hum, hi, ho, ha. It's off to work we go. La, la, la, la, la, la, la. God, I love Matt. Even though he's a druggie. Can't stop

thinking about it. Heart, heart, heart, heart, heart. That's awesome. No, heart, heart, heart, heart. That's awesome. No, you know why that's so much better than mine is because you actually get to see into your mind. That's how your thoughts were coming out.

That's a look at a real brain. You don't need MRI scans when you got that. Yeah. Like an old poem is in my head, Romeo and Juliet, and then I'm like, God, I love this guy,

but he's a druggie. Old man is soaring. Old man is soaring. Didn't get up in the morning. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Hoo, hoo. I love Matt. He's a druggie.

Whatever. He's a druggie. I don't care. Romeo and Juliet's my favorite movie. And here's why I can help everyone. That's how I journaled back in the day. I love how you just go into the ending of Romeo and Juliet for anyone who doesn't know the ending. I'm like, and then suicide.

I mean, I knew a lot of stuff. I was like, suicide, drugs, unconscious. When you're a teenager, it's like, those are moving around your head. I was like, God, the family feud. Yeah, man. Well, that is what that story is about when you think about it. Okay, here's another one. It's quick.

Okay. Just as dumb as the other one. 5-12-2003. Dee Dee was so much fun, which is either Dunkin' Donuts or The Driving School, but I think it's Dunkin' Donuts. Dunkin' Donuts was so much fun. I thought I forgot my camera, but Jenny had it. Woohoo. I'm so happy. Okay. Amy likes John, her boyfriend. Okay. Anyways, I'm in a good mood. I have my first day on the job today. Ha ha ha. Scared. Well, anyways, I think I'm going to put my camera in CVS, then pick it up on the way home.

Hopefully one hour photo, baby. Yeah. And then I put in quotes, take my strong hand from Scary Movie. Correct. Take my strong hand. Ha ha. In a laughy mood. Blah.

I like Jess. She's awesome. But it's so obvious that she likes Mike. Whatever. It's all good. I don't like him like that. Okay. All my pictures look like I'm a fat chick. It's literally terrible. I feel kind of fat lately. I think it's because of my huge, annoying boobs. Love Amanda Oh God Oh my god

I I don't understand I think I think that's all completely understandable No this is 100% like ugh And it was 2003 so everyone said fat All the time They're like god I'm so fat right now.

And they're like, we're teens. Yeah. Yeah. God, that's so funny. I love it just like, it's so obvious she's into Matt. Whatever. I don't care. I don't like him like that.

No, I know. You definitely like him like that. My whole life was like that. Like the relationships between people when they'd always get together and not get together like i was so involved god i was so involved so funny yeah do you that's what you missed obviously you're not going to read any journal entries from like recent years are they at all similar like i don't mean obviously they're not like that but are they similar in like how you, do you

still do stream of consciousness? Yes. So it can kind of be all over the place? Yes. Sometimes, I actually did like go back on my recent journals, and they're like, they're pretty intense. And the connections I'm making in my head, I'm like, damn, that's

intense. Like, they're more sad at times, but they're 100 stream of conscious yeah they're like i wonder what blah blah blah oh and also blah blah said this thing and i remember that and i was thinking and sometimes i'll go on a long tangent and get to a place of understanding some of my journals have letters in it written to people that I'll never give to them. That's very cool. That happens a lot. Well, and a lot of people, like, their journal is, like, written to someone, right? Like, that's, like, a popular thing that people do.

Yeah, but I definitely still write the same way. Okay. Like, stream of conscious, like, I'll always put at the top the main thing that's happening. Got it. Okay. That's cool. And, like. See, I put journal entry. And, see, I love that. So that people know. Got it. Okay. That's cool. And like. See, I put journal entry.

And see, I love that. So that people know. I like that. Do you got, what else do you got? Okay. Let me see what else I, I marked some other things. Cause you're not going to learn much from these journals about me. Actually, you're kind of learning a lot.

What are you talking about? I, the problem is so much of my journals are me trying to sound smart or cool. Yeah. Okay. I actually, this is me being deep as hell. Okay. But I liked this one. Okay.

Here we go. What year are we in? 2011. Okay. So I'm like 1920. Okay. When we walk, we aren't walking. We're falling and catching ourselves.

To think that one of the first things we learn to do in life might be a representation of life itself. We move forward by falling and catching ourselves. Pretty cool. Whoa. Pretty cool. That just kind of blew up my shit right there. I like that. When we walk, we're actually falling and catching ourselves.

Pretty cool. And that's it. And that's it. Okay, I have one other that I found. Because mind you, this is the one that's like, this is my only one. So this goes up till yesterday. This goes up to this morning when I wrote in it. So check this one out.

This is trippy. Because this was a time when I was writing a lot. Okay. I was just like, this past week had me looking back on this and being like, this is weird to read. The mayor of LA said we might be on lockdown for two months, maybe more. I wonder if anything will be normal ever again. I wonder when I'll forget about all this and be with a crowd and not think this is a weird feeling. Days seem a lot longer from inside.

I feel stupid whenever I get worried and guilty whenever I'm not. I'm in so many ways. This whole thing still doesn't feel real. So much is still the same. The sun is still out. The birds are still singing. Dogs barking. People talking from within their homes.

It doesn't look like a pandemic when you put your phone down. Whoa. Oh, trippy. Wait a second. What year was that? That was March of 2020. Yeah. That was right.

It doesn't look like a pandemic when you put your phone down. That's so true. I read that. I was like, oh, God. And that's the thing. There's a couple moments when I'm reading my journal where I'm like oh I wasn't trying to sound like anything there no you were and then it ends up like being way more way more profound um but it's weird where I was like oh I had no idea like I was I was saying will this ever be normal again no but uh it was definitely

trippy and I wrote um during that time I was writing almost every day because I had nothing to do. See, and that's the best, because to me when you're writing that stream of conscious, you come out and then you're like, oh, you start to make, and then you go back.

Yeah. I'm going to read one last one of mine, and it's probably my most, let's say profound one in this okay after you read that we've got a guest oh my freaking god yeah we do okay 521 2003 remember yes dude what do you think makes a good parent whoa and then after that i go sup dog oh i thought i was so ready you teed us up and then you walked away no it's happening it's oh i'm just getting my hellos out okay okay i'm getting my greetings out okay

sup dog ha ha ha i'm so hyper and happy i was a really hyper kid i was like yeah i i can imagine okay a good parent will give anything to make the child happy. The parent will sacrifice its life and give up things they like to do so that the child will get what they want. Loves to be with the child. Give it love. Roof over its head. I spelt roof as rough. Okay. R okay roof over its head food on the table and clothes on their back that's the truth no spoiling that's all you need and maybe a couple of treats every so often that's what a good parent is to me okay so anyways mike called me and said he couldn't stop thinking about me damn it oh it's so confusing because with John, he's a really bad kisser.

He kisses like a horse. Oh, damn. And I can't take it. He's sweet and everything, but that counts for a lot of reasons. You've got to know how to kiss. You know? Jeez. Okay.

So anyways, I really actually want to date hopscotch for real hopscotch is a code name and i can't remember who it is whoa i really want to date hopscotch that's so you were writing tons of names down there yeah but there was one guy that you all the names that i've given you guys are fake are fake so you're writing real names in the book and then you this one is an actual codename and I, Amanda, can't even remember who it is. Interesting.

He makes me laugh and I don't know. Bye. Wow. Do you think you wrote Hopscotch because it was a guy you were kind of embarrassed to like? I think so.

Wow. I have a feeling it's one of the guys who was like really rich in my town that like it was kind of like you don't like him. He's dating the rich.

That's not going to happen. He's dating the rich girl. I always dated the long jean shorts who like dirt bikers. Fred Durst. That's what I liked. I always dated Fred Durst. That's hilarious.

So that was my most insightful one in 2003. Wow. But trust me, they get really insightful. I can't imagine. See, that's not fair. We're reading ones from when I'm like 20 and also ones from when I'm 28. Yeah, I would have brought older ones, but I was like, nah.

I just don't have much. This is all I got. I'll stick with these. I have, maybe next time we do this, if we ever do this again, I have a dream journal that I do older ones. I have a dream journal that I only have like the first two pages because I never dream. Okay. So I have like a couple dreams. You're like, I got my dream journal and good night. I truly have like a couple dreams because that's all I have.

Oh my God. I never dream. I don't remember them. But we have a guest. We have a guest. We have someone who journals better than both of us combined. 100%. This person's journals are unbelievable. They're gorgeous.

Come on in. Ladies and gentlemen, Selena. Selena. Selena's here. Hi, Selena. Hi. That is too much to live up to. I don't know if your handwriting is unbelievable.

Okay, no. Can you show a page to the camera? This was my pride and joy. Hold on. Just like blocks of text. Look at that. Look at that handwriting. We might have to blur some of this, but like.

It's the best handwriting I've ever seen in my life. Also, look at this. I bullet journaled for like a while. It is unbelievable. Thank you. I do appreciate it. This is what I wanted my journals to look like. So by the way, that's your handwriting.

Right? This is all of this. This was a blank notebook. For those listening, it's unbelievable. It looks like something that you would buy at a really fancy like paper store. It looks like it's printed. Yeah.

But it's not. It's all Selena. Yeah. I got graded on my penmanship when I was a kid, so that's probably why. That's unbelievable. Yeah. Can you read us a little? Sure.

These are journals. I didn't start journaling until I was a young adult slash real adult. So these were from 2016 to 2020 okay um so this first one is i found it and it was really funny and me selena today titled it i i had to type it because i had to change some names and i didn't want to forget sure um i titled it selena's first date from a dating app whoa this day yo yo no journal entry just that i mean that was the whole journal entry from that day like i like hell yes okay okay so from may to 2018 okay today was wild i had my first ever date from tinder no less and it was pretty good i wasn't nervous about it which was good i recognized him as soon as he got off the bus we hugged and started making our way to the restaurant as we were walking there our hands accidentally grazed each other's and he took hold of it

i was shook when we got to the restaurant he did it again we held hands for basically the whole meal and when we weren't he put his feet on my stool and basically caressed my legs with his. After lunch, I proposed that we go back to my town to take a walk because it's nice out and so we can talk. We got there and managed to walk around a block before deeming it too hot. Deeming it too hot. As we were walking, he would have his arm around my shoulders or my waist. We had our first kiss when we were walking back to my car. It was at a busy intersection and I got embarrassed, so I pulled away.

We were headed to the park to be alone and to sit somewhere. After some browsing, we finally found a bench. We sit, talk, kiss, and kiss some more. It was nice. Whoa! Whoa! Just first date? First date.

Damn, girl. Nice. Whoa. Whoa. First date. First date. Damn. Damn, girl. Then we head over to the pokey place in town to get some bobo. We do the handholding thing. It's just really nice to be PDA and affectionate. I drop him off at the train station and waited with him until his train came. We were nerdy and affectionate and we kissed goodbye. I'm incredibly smitten.

It was a lot. Couldn't focus or sleep much that night. I couldn't wait to see him again. And then, Selena today, update, I saw him one more time, did it, and never saw him again. What? Let me just say, he was Did he put his feet on your stool? Yes, he

Damn, he was touchy from the get-go. You guys met up and just immediately held hands. Yeah. And all through eating? Yeah. You're like holding hands and you have a sandwich in the other? Yeah, imagine like sitting across from each other and just like one hand holding.

And then like eating. I can't even do that with my husband. I'd be like, give me back my hand. I gotta eat, bro. Wow. Yeah. Wait. Okay. Yeah. Hey. Hey. hey hey hey hey how are you

so these the way i journaled this is how my brain works i have to compartmentalize everything so each day is like categorized into like work love life um like anything else that happened that day you're organized yeah that's how my brain works. But yours is so fun. I was like younger. It's probably the same. You were younger. I was a full blown adult at this point. So you're filling out a journal.

Yours are clean and organized. Yours looks so cool. You were flipping through it earlier and the amount of graphics you're doing all the time. Thank you, I have to show this. I had a Jacksepticeye phase. Nice. Love that.

Yeah, this was like seven years ago, like his font and everything. Oh, my God. I love it. So cool looking. Thank you. So incredible. So you're filling out, I see this one at the bottom says April to November of 2017. Yeah. So you're filling out more than one a year.

Yes, because I couldn't fit more. Because I was bullet journaling, so I was making up monthly spreads or weekly spreads. So they take up space. See, that's the thing, is when you have it kind of like as a daily or a weekly thing, it kind of pushes you to write more. Yeah. This one's fun. I found this and I was like, whoa.

Shane, if you can read this block right here. Just the second block there. The one with the exclamation mark. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. I was going to skip, I was going to skip pole,

but I'm glad I didn't. Shane considered me to be one of the more advanced students in net class? In that class. In that class. I feel myself getting stronger,

though nowhere near perfect or good even, and I follow choreography well. I got to do the routine without call outs it was fine but i choked a bit at the end when i was making up my own stuff but it was still great to be trusted to do well wait what is this pole class pole dancing dancing wow your namesake why and everything so you were there yeah i was there you were there. Yeah. I was there. You were there teaching her. Okay. I saw that and I was like,

that's crazy. Pole dancing is awesome. Yeah. My friend does it and loves it. That's hilarious. That was from 2019. Wow. But the one that like I was like, oh, I flipped, the first thing I flipped to this morning to like, um, to read, I was like, this is so cute. So this is from your handwriting is insane i

can't get over it thank you if my handwriting looked like this i'd be journaling all the time yeah um so this is from july 14th 2017 so like almost uh seven and a half years ago i've really fallen in love with jacksepticeye, a YouTuber. He's become an inspiration to me and his videos always make me feel good. I just wanted to mention him because I've been watching him a lot. In fact, YouTube has been making me happy lately and inspiring me to make content and be creative. I want to be part of this community and foster creativity, connect with people and entertain people. I'm also scared scared though because i know that whatever i put out there'll be criticism with it but i just need to force myself to be diligent about it because i'm excited to find out what i'll be making what i come up with and who

i'll become whoa i was like look at you now girl first thing i flipped to this morning i was like that's crazy that's so cool God. Anyway, these are my... They're so beautiful. Thank you. Is this a moleskin? No, I like Leuchtturms. Any bullet journal girlies out there, send me recommendations.

But yeah. I love good journals. I love ones that have the elastic band over it. Yeah, but most of it is literally just boys. Where's the one? It's all just boys. It's all just a place for me to talk about boys this one i'm changing names because of course yeah july 21st 2018 xavier continued the text from yesterday but really didn't keep the conversation going at all so what in the actual f**k sigh I wrote the word sigh facts and then next next line nothing from Ethan actually kind of sad about it next line uh matched with a super thirsty Danish dude

who's kind of cute sexy conversations were had should I hook up with him YOLO right but I don't know I'm kind of happy that he's unable to meet that's so overwhelming you said this is 2018 whoa yolo yolo was yolo big in 2018 yeah i guess it still was yolo journals is such a place to talk about boys and girls or yolo because that that's when you that's when you're gonna be talking about it that's true obviously like you could talk about with your friends yeah it's like it's the most healthy for you to like really be completely open in your journal and not judge yourself like i do yeah but now i read them back and i'm like oh i think that's i think if you're not i think if you're reading them back and not feeling that you didn't do it properly you didn't like grow through it. I think that's growth. You're not looking back on yourself eight years ago

and going, oh, God. Yeah. No, I know. I would look back and be like, wow, I got upset about so many little things. Yeah. I can't believe they texted me that. Yeah.

Well, I'm going to have to text them. And it's like, girl, let it go. And it's like, do you even remember what it was? No. Exactly. No, you don't. I think reading back on your journals is part of like what's healthy about it. No, I love it.

It kind of gives you, it gives you the best perspective on things. Keeping a journal is so healthy. I do know that some people are like, I can't, it's too much. But I think if you lower your expectations for it, make it small. It can only, even a sentence a day is something. Because they have five minute journals or two minute journals that's what i'm trying to get back to because i did this i did all of this when i had more time um in my days and it just got too overwhelming yeah and and then i put pressure on myself to like make it perfect um so my goal this year is to just like

one line just one line describing what happened, how I felt, et cetera, just to like let it out. Yeah. That's awesome. Dude, your journal game is crazy. It's really good.

So now we know that Selene is the best. Payne's probably second. And this girl, this girl is on another planet. You guys both win by the sheer amount of journals you have.

This is it. That's it. And this one has two pages. Hey, that's pretty awesome. This is my journals. That's pretty awesome. Yeah, but if that's all you need, that's all you need.

You know? Yeah. That's all you need and it's really cool. The first one looks like it's, you know, Game of Thrones. Yeah.

That was, yeah. That was your plan. Well, it was 2000. I guess Game of Thrones was out but I hadn't read it yet no but anyways

Selena thank you for showing these to us thank you for showing us wow this has been really fun yeah do you guys journal let us know

let us know if you journal down below and let us know if you're gonna read 50 books in a year just like Shane is yeah I'll keep

I'll keep updating you on the books I'm reading. Yeah, keep updating us. I've read zero. But that's okay. I've read half of one that I can't remember the name of.

Yeah, you gotta remember. What is going on? Guess whatever book Amanda's reading. Yeah. And also watch Day of the Jackal because it's really good.

But I hope you guys are doing well. We love you. We're safe. We will see you next week. We will see you next week. Goodbye.

Goodbye.