Smosh Mouth - #84 - INFO DUMP TIME 💡 w/ Ted Nivison

Episode Date: March 10, 2025

Amanda and Shayne are here to present Ted Nivison with a whole lotta info! Go to https://www.Zocdoc.com/SMOSHMOUTH to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. 0:00 Intro 7:43 The Question 9:07 Sponsor! 10:08 Internet rage bait 13:27 Info dump time…? 25:33 Actual info dump time! PODCAST: https://bit.ly/SmoshMouthSpotify https://smo.sh/SmoshMouthiHeart https://bit.ly/SmoshMouthApple  SUBSCRIBE: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshCast WEAR OUR JOKES: https://smosh.com  WHO YOU HEAR Shayne Topp // https://www.instagram.com/shaynetopp/ Amanda Lehan-Canto // https://www.instagram.com/filmingamanda/ Ted Nivison // https://www.instagram.com/tednivison/ WHO YOU DON’T HEAR (usually) Director: Selina Garcia Editor: Andre Gardere Producer: Amanda Lehan-Canto, Shayne Topp, Selina Garcia Production Designer: Cassie Vance Art Director: Erin Kuschner Assistant Art Director: Josie Bellerby Art Coordinator: Alex Aguilar Prop Master: Courtney Chapman Prop Master: Carly Hough Prop Assistant: Abby Schmidt Audio Mixer: Scott Neff Shadowing Audio Mixer: Lila Rowel Director of Photography: Brennan Iketani Camera Operator: James Hull Assistant Director: Alexcina Figueroa Executive Vice President of Production: Amanda Barnes Senior Production Manager: Alexcina Figueroa Production Manager: Jonathan Hyon Production Coordinator: Zianne Hoover Operations & Production Coordinator: Oliver Wehlander Production Assistant: Caroline Smith Post Production Manager: Luke Baker DIT/Lead AE: Matt Duran IT: Tim Baker Director of Design: Brittany Hobbs Graphic Designers: Ness Cardano, Monica Ravitch Senior Manager, Channel & Strategy: Lizzy Jones Channel Operations Coordinator: Audrey Carganilla Director of Social Media: Erica Noboa Social Creative Producer: Peter Ditzler, Tommy Bowe Merchandising Manager: Mallory Myers Social Media Coordinator: Kim Wilborn Brand Partnership Manager: Chloe Mays Talent Coordinator: Selina Garcia People Operations Specialist: Katie Fink Front Office Assistant: Sara Faltersack CEO: Alessandra Catanese EVP of Programming: Kiana Parker Coordinator Producer of Programming: Marcus Munguia Executive Coordinator: Rachel Collis OTHER SMOSHES: Smosh: https://smo.sh/Sub2Smosh Smosh Pit: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshPit Smosh Games: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshGames El Smosh (Spanish Dub): https://smo.sh/Sub2ElSmosh FOLLOW US: TikTok: https://smo.sh/TikTok Instagram: https://instagram.com/smosh Facebook: https://facebook.com/smosh

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So who's that pro the pros at tread experts from tires to auto repair. Tread experts is always there helping you with Kumo tires. You can trust until June 15th, receive up to $60 on a prepaid MasterCard when you purchase Kumo RoadVenture AT52 tires. Find your pro at your local Tread Experts. From tires to auto repair, we're always there. TreadExperts.ca Welcome to Smosh Mouth. I'm Shane. Hi, I'm Amanda, and we have a wonderful guest with us. Our first-time guest, Ted.

Am I the first guest? No. It's the first time you've been here. I said it already. You're our first-time person on... Yes. Okay. I think Call Me Chris was the first guest.

God. Wait, really? Yeah. I gotta say, I was ready to come in, rocking, rolling, baking biscuits, wind out of my sails. Yeah. Oh, hey. That's okay.

Don't piss. Don't let my mistake ruin the intro. I actually went on your podcast before you ever showed up here. Oh, yeah. I couldn't tell if that was like a nice thing. I don't know. I actually went on twice. Yeah, there was a tone.

It's funny, but the way that you said that was like You were mad that I didn't show up here But you never asked until now Someone seems upset about something That's fair that's entirely fair Let's start over hey Ted How do you say your last name Nivison Yeah some people say Nivision

Does that bother you It used to but now I'm like, now it's more like, oh, God, there's so many fools in the world. And I'm not one of them. Nivision makes you totally different, like a lawyer or something. I won't lie. Before I met you, when I saw you were coming in, this was years ago, and I saw your name. And when you see your name just written out it's hard not to say it's like an optical illusion

because it looks like television yeah no and it also like it's also so many YouTubers do like a funny thing with their name

where it's like oh you're watching my channel and it's like you're watching Tednavision right now like that's I thought that was the vibe and then

like my Instagram filming Amanda that I came up with years and years ago and I'm stuck with it so good you probably could change it. No.

No? Whoa. How are people going to find me? Oh, yeah. They don't know your name. I guess I could just do my full name. What would you do if you didn't do filming Amanda? Amanda Panda, 55.

Objectively worse. Soccer gal. Really bad. 777X. That is, you know how there's a current online sort of a large upswing of anti-millennial rhetoric? Oh, that's been going on for years. Yeah. Amanda Panda, that's going to get you hung. That is.

That is, yeah. That's going to send you to the guillotine. Damn. Okay. That hits the peak of the millennial cringe meter Maybe I should get new merch that says Amanda Panna on it It's a panna Yeah, and your profile picture is from I Can Has Cheeseburger

What the hell is that? You don't know I Can Has Cheeseburger? See, now I'm the millennial Amanda kind of exists I mean, you are a millennial by the year you were born But you exist kind of outside of the sphere Because you weren't online for so much of your life. Why weren't you online for so much of your life? I wasn't allowed to go.

She was outside talking to trees. I wasn't allowed to go. I had very limited time that I was allowed to be online or watch TV. She didn't know who Harambe was. I mean, it's unbelievable stuff. I saw the clip. I saw the clip. That went viral.

I didn't know who Harambe was. But then again, I watched Nickelodeon a bunch. Well, that's not a lot. Pretty cool stuff. Are you afraid of the dark? Yeah. That went viral. I didn't know who Harambe was. But then again, I watched Nickelodeon a bunch. Well, that's not a lie. Pretty cool stuff. Are You Afraid of the Dark? Yeah. Hear me out. I actually never watched that.

Are You Afraid of the Dark? Well, yeah, because it was on- What? I was born. No, don't say this. It's true. No, don't. No, don't.

It's true. Yeah, no, you're right. No, don't. Look, I'm wearing a t-shirt. You're wearing a t-shirt. I'm wearing a t-shirt. We're all wearing t-shirts, guys. We're all part of the great human family. We're wearing t-shirt. You're wearing a t-shirt. I'm wearing a t-shirt. We're all wearing different t-shirts, guys. We're all part of the great human family.

We're wearing t-shirts. You're wearing our merch. Well, yeah, because I was- Your shirt was meringue, so we had to- Yeah, no, I was- So you were forced to wear our merch. I was oppressed. Much like I am often as I step into the Smosh studio,

even though I'm getting a one on bitches. What? He was playing this dice game we love called Bitches. Courtney introduced me to this dice game last time I was here. It's so good. You just roll a bunch of dice, and you're trying to get the lowest score possible. I got one. Which is crazy.

And I'm still being asked to change my shirt, change my whole look. They're like, Ted, we don't really like how low your voice is. Can you speak a little bit higher? A little bit higher tone? No. That's strange. Even though you're the third person to get the Smegot. And I'm glad that you brought that up, Shane. Because if you didn't, I would've. Wait, really?

Games? Pit? I am a proud recipient. It's like I'm the only one making this. Let's bring in the award. We don't have one. No, we don't. I got a lot of shrugs. I got a lot of shrugs.

Awards in your heart. Awards in your heart. Wait, so that means you've been on games, Pit. I know you've been on Bit City. Yeah. I know you've been on Bit City. Was that the first time we worked together? I think so, yeah.

When I was the colonel. Mm-hmm. That's awesome. Great sketch. Yeah. Top two. I love this job. It's a whole lot of nothing. That's awesome. Great sketch. Top two. I love this job. It's a whole lot of nothing.

That's really good. That's really good. Next, I want to come on Visity again, and I want to do something crazy. Okay. Because you were kind of playing a voice of reason. I was a voice of reason, which I'm, you know, I'm not. You're not. I'm not a voice of reason.

I'm a voice of chaos. You look like you could be like a substitute teacher or an awesome dad. An accountant. Yeah. You're not a voice of reason. You're wild. Yeah.. Just because you look like you could be a substitute teacher or an awesome dad. An accountant. Yeah. You're not a voice of reason. You're wild. Yeah. Sure, I can cook a steak.

Don't get me wrong. Oh, I hope. You've got a mustache. You have to be able to cook a steak. If I come over, you're cooking a steak on a grill that you're going to talk about for 45 minutes. With fucking truffle salt. There you go.

Pretty solid. Wow. Yeah. No. But congrats. Yeah. Yeah, we'll have you back on Bit City. For those of you who don't know, because some people won't know,

Smigot's like one of the greatest things you can get. It's actually better than an EGOT, which is an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tony. This is like that, but just Smosh, because I've been on all the channels of Smosh. Yeah. Which is cool. And it kind of fast-tracked toward the end. Like, I'd only been on Try Not to Laugh, and then because of my own scheduling issues and ability to wake up in the morning, I ended up on Smosh.

And... That is true? Wow. And I almost messed it up this time, because I had set my alarm, and I woke up an hour later with the alarm going off. Ted! But it shifted out of sound mode into buzz mode. What are you doing late at night? I don't want to.

So I'll tell you what happened to me late at night. I got, my problem is I'll go through a big period of working a lot and I'll be like working, working. And then I'll get out of it and then I'll get sick. I got a sinus infection and then I got a fever four days later. And then I got like a three-day tummy ache.

Three-day tummy ache? I don't even know what that was. I'm sorry. It sounds awful, but kind of sweet. You just had a tummy ache. Three-day tummy ache? I don't even know what it was. Aw.

But I really got into this video game, Wukong. You know Wukong. Yeah, of course. Yeah, Black Myth Wukong. You know Wukong. Yeah, of course. Yeah, Black Myth Wukong. So good. People love it. So good. PS5.

PS5. I have a problem when I get into a game or a show, and I'm so glad that they're doing the weekly stuff with Severance. I love, oh no, I'm not watching Severance because I don't have Apple TV. I know. I've already been taught.

You like the weekly thing, though? Yeah, I love the weekly thing. It's so good. Yeah, because it keeps me honest. It keeps me contained. You, because it keeps me honest. It keeps me contained. You have an hour that you escape. I finished this game, which has like 95 bosses that you have to kill, in like five days.

Oh. No, like six days. You really go. No, like I was like rotting. I was like. I can't do that anymore. So you work, work. I couldn't. It almost, I started getting, I wasn't sure that anymore. So you work, work. I couldn't. I started getting...

I wasn't sure even if it was an ADHD thing. It started to feel almost like an OCD thing or something where I was like, I could not pull myself away from this game until I had finished it so I could be free of it. This is why I don't play games. I played games a little bit

when I was younger. Let me ask you a question, though. Would you rather have unlimited bacon games. I played games a little bit when I was younger. Let me ask you a question, though. What? Would you rather have unlimited bacon, but no more video games, or games, unlimited games, but no games? Did you say bacon? Yeah. You should know this. You're a millennial.

Wait a second. Wait a second. The bacon part didn't come in the second part of the question, so what? I feel like I was being... I think you question So what? I feel like I was being I think you were pretty straightforward I feel like I was being cut and dry Do you want me to ask the question again? Yeah, please

Okay, so would you rather have unlimited bacon But no more video games Or games Unlimited games, but no games This feels like a trick question I don't really care for bacon So the second part Really? The second one

Okay Yeah, so I want games Unlimited But no games But no games Yeah That's exactly what I want I think

Pretty great Yeah that's pretty awesome What do you want? Oh you always pick the bacon Why? You always pick the bacon Why? So you mean the second option

Because then you get bacon Because the first option is no bacon Yeah there's no bacon even in the second option, because then you get bacon, because the first option is no bacon. Yeah, there's no bacon even in the second option. The first option. Unlimited bacon. Yeah, unlimited bacon, but no games. You always pick the bacon. Are you Gen Z?

Yeah. Is this what happens? This is what happens. Can you clarify what you mean? Am I going to be trapped in this acid trip roller coaster that I'm in currently that has to do with bacon and games? Gen Z got served too many ads too early on in development, and it just kind of... If it's a flat or a squeal, a wobble or peel,

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Get 25% off at ritual.com slash clinical. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Well, I just had to ask you. I think it's great. Just a question. And now you know I don't really like thinking. Good point.

No. He's a millennial, too. He's a millennial, too. Just a question. And now you know I don't really like Lincoln. Good point. No. He's a millennial, too. He's a millennial, too. Just a question. Yeah. That's fine. I'm one of the good ones. Let me position myself so it's adversarial here.

No, now you're not on camera. So that you're off. I'm off my mark now. Now he's just with Shane and Shane shot. That would be cute. Yeah. Hey. God.

I have terrible, I'm a long time podcaster terrible podcast etiquette with the microphone yeah hey Scott loves it there's different there's different podcast vibes because there's the vibe

where it's like on a couch it's like very like more in the wild kind of hanging out and then we're like a little bit more of a back and forth

we're more like business yeah we kind of have the same aesthetic of like those really toxic podcasts you get the clips of

where it's oh yeah where it's like the dude being like so is it true that like women can't of where oh yeah where it's like the dude being like so is it true that like we can't do this and they like cut to like someone else yes what are you even talking about like I don't agree yeah and it's and

it's the it's the two-shot thing too so you can't really tell if it was an actual podcast that was recorded like it's I think most are fake I think yeah sometimes I think they just get in a setup and they're like we're're going to record our TikTok clips. Yeah. And we're not going to make a podcast.

Yeah. Yeah. But then, I don't like that. You seem almost too upset that these clips aren't real. I am upset. It's like when I learned that the airplane fights aren't real. Most stuff that you're seeing. Which airplane fights?

Both of those. Most of them. Most stuff that you see online is rage bait. Whoa. Do you not know about this? Airplane fights? Like when you see fights on an airplane? Yeah. A lot of them. Most stuff that you see online is rage bait. Whoa. Do you not know about this? Airplane fights? You know when you see fights on an airplane? Yeah.

A lot of them are staged. Thank you. Good friend. Like the dog fights that happened in World War II? No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. Like people arguing on a commercial flight. Oh, I thought you guys were-

Where it's like, we got to take her out. I see. We're here to say that World War I and World War II never happened. So no, yeah, that's kind of where I was thinking. I was like, are you guys, like, saying that World War II dogfights specifically didn't happen? Yeah, we don't believe in planes. So wild. Like, all of World War II, fully real.

The dogfights? But the planes never fought. They agreed. That's so wild that your brain would go there, Ted. I just kind of, you strike me as a conspiracy theorist. Damn, dude. I mean, sometimes. It seemed like the funniest thing to say.

It's funny. No, sometimes. I think the problem is you struck a chord. It was real. Sometimes I go down full crime investigation shit and I realize it was all a conspiracy theory

made up by a web sleuth. So it kind of. It's funny how on the internet, if you were on the internet, you used to know a lot of information, but now being so on the internet, it means you know the least amount of information anyone's ever known.

It's just so easy to lie. Yeah. Like you could, I could pull up TikTok right now and be like, do you know that broccoli is actually bad for you? And then I check like five hours later and there'd be a bunch of people believing that. Yeah.

That's why I stay off the internet. Yeah. You got a text? I don't know what that was. That's your morning alarm. I'll tell you what that was. I'll tell you what that was. That was CapCut giving me a notification.

CapCut, which I downloaded one time to see what a template would look like on TikTok, never have used CapCut. They charge, don't they? Do they? I'm pretty sure that they do. I think they have a free answer. Because I also downloaded CapCut, and I was like, it's just easier to do it not through CapCut. Yeah. So before we move on, we didn't say what we're talking about this episode.

Oh. But we thought we'd bring you on Ted And we would all do a little info dump We'd all talk about things that we love This was a suggestion I saw in our comments A while ago We'll see if we can find that comment I like the idea, an excuse to just rant about something

Yeah That was very fun But before we continue also I was going to say, speaking of staying up late and working, I have a newfound appreciation for what you do. Oh, right, because you started your YouTube channel. I finally made some individual videos. Saw that.

And the editing process is absolutely insane. You want to hear something funny? When you launched the channel and then released that next video in the speed that you did i haven't watched the new video but i was like damn how do you get that out so fast how the fuck you do that well well i i feel like because i i made that i edited it and then i was like okay and then i watched your recent one as of right now my twitter one yeah and like the editing is just so much better obviously like i'm just like and you're is just so much better, obviously.

Wow. And you're putting in so much more assets. You're throwing the things. What do you edit on? A Premiere. I'm a DaVinci guy. DaVinci. See, it's like choosing a language, like the language you learn in high school or something early on.

It's just like you kind of stick with it. And then you might not even like Spanish after four years or whatever, but you chose Spanish at the beginning. And, you know, Yo Hablo. What a hot date. Fun little behind the scenes peek. Smosh uses Premier. Really?

That's where people. But I did DaVinci. I would have thought with all the call sheets and stuff, you guys would have been using Avid. My God. Or Fancy. But no, Premiere. Look at you.

But it's very impressive. It's a good character for you. But your stuff is really... So, contextually. I shouldn't even say it. No, probably not. No, we should keep it a secret. No, it's good.

Secret between us. Yeah, now you guys know that there's a secret, and you guys don't get to know. Oh. And maybe we'll reveal it. No, we won't. We won't. But your stuff is, you do some high-lift stuff. Thanks.

Look at that. You and the whole crew of you guys, like Eddie and, I mean, there's just a bunch, like the video essayists. I'm very impressed with what you guys do. Thank you. I simply don't have the time to do what you do. Yeah, it's definitely a bunch like the video essayists like i'm very impressed with what you guys do i simply don't have the time yeah it's definitely a time sink like that that twitter video was tough because i was like okay i'm gonna talk about my opinions here so now i gotta like make sure what i'm talking about is like correct and so i have to do like research and then like it's

like you know that took me like a whole week just to kind of like figure out like the research and like it's like you know that took me like a whole week just to kind of like figure out like the research and like the writing of it all um and then i've actually been it's funny because i don't have like a structured sort of situation like you guys you guys have are given here you're coming in this amount of hours we've got a system yeah yeah i'm so jealous of the system so i've been trying recently to like claw at ways that I can have a system, so I now have an app that I track my own hours to see how long I work. Wait, is it called Harvest? No.

Okay. No! Okay. All right. It's called Shift Flow. Oh, that sounds cooler. Yeah. But that's gotta be tough,

because you do just operate on your own. Yeah. You are in charge of when you want to release a video. Well, exactly. And for years, I would have no idea how long it would take me to finish a video because each time the video would be kind of different. And then it'd be like, when are you going to have this video up for the sponsor? And I'll be like, that's a great question. That's a great question.

But now I know, at least with a commentary video like that, that's about 20 to 30 minutes long, it takes me about a little bit more than 30 hours to edit. 30 hours to edit. Yeah. That's actually impressive because like... And your videos are over two hours? No.

Over an hour? No. Like a half hour to an hour. I have one video that's an hour and 48 minutes long, but that took me like two months to make. Holy shit. So 30 hours for 30 minutes. That's the Barbie one, yeah,

where I watched every Barbie movie ever made. I must, I must watch this stuff. It's connected all of them together. You need to watch the legendary one, which is the Rainforest Cafe. Rainforest and the Margaritaville tacos. He and Eddie Burbach went to every single Rainforest Cafe. The Rainforest and the Margaritaville. He and Eddie Burbach went to every single Rainforest Cafe. Why?

That's a great question. Why did you do that? Why did you do that? Well, it was because when I was a kid, I went to the Rainforest Cafe. There was a mall in Massachusetts that they had a Rainforest Cafe that I'd done some. Where are you from? I'm from Acton, Massachusetts. I'm from Easton, Mass.

Wow. Wow. Acton, Easton. Great enemies. Here's the thing. I kind of know where Acton is. Yeah. What's next to it?

Concord and Maynard and Carlisle and Westford. You're a little bit far from me. I'm like in Middlesex. I'm like Mansfield, Foxborough. Okay, I know Mansfield. I know Mansfield. Really? We're going to keep doing this.

What do you guys feel about Glendale, Arizona? You know Gloucester? You know Worcester? Of course I know Gloucester. Worcester? Yeah, I went to school at UMass. Oh, okay. You ever go to the Cape?

My mom lives in the Cape. Oh, she does? Should I not say that? You can say that. Fuck it. The Cape is massive. The Cape is a large area. She lives in the Cape. I used to live on Should I not say that? You can say that. Fuck it. The Cape is a large area. She lives in the Cape.

I used to live on Martha's Vineyard. What? Really? Yeah. My family would go on vacations in Martha's Vineyard. What? Yeah. We would go on vacations in Martha's Vineyard.

I was in Martha's Vineyard last summer. So was I. Really? When? In July? For like a day. No, August. I was in July.

I spent a week in like Oak Bluffs. That's where I lived for eight months. Really? I rode my bike and I worked at a chowder company. But I don't. Of course you worked at a chowder company. That was like forever ago. That was 13 years ago.

Yeah, he's such a bastard. You worked at a chowder company and Dunkin' Donuts in Boston. We don't like Shane. Are those the only two places of business in Boston? I do this because I have to with Shane. I don't enjoy it. It was just funny. It was funny.

I was like, we were flowing. And he was like, of course you weren't going to fucking shout at me. Of course you weren't going to fucking shout at me. She doesn't like being left out. Where are you from? Arizona. That's nice. So, okay.

So, I'll tell you one thing. Like, do you ever have like one of my dreams of like the high tier dreams of like where I, of like, here's what I'm going to do if I'm mega rich. Yep. Get a house on Martha's Vineyard. Yeah. I've thought about it so much. You've got to be old rich. I will say I would want to also maybe get a house near Woods Hole because then you can take the ferry over to Martha's Vineyard.

And I don't know if it's cheaper, but it might be a little cheaper because Martha's Vineyard is very expensive. I just feel like the whole cape and Martha's Vineyard and everything. And you know what? And I'll say another thing. Not fucking Nantucket, though. No. Fuck Nantucket.

Although I will say, if you put on a little Vineyard Vines, honey, you could clean up Nantucket. That used to be my, ironically, by the way, because it's from Martha's Vineyard. I know. I used to be a Vineyard Vines guy. And growing up in Massachusetts, where are you from?

I was born in Florida. So growing up in... Okay, we have to stop this. I like how we haven't gotten to the info dump, but you guys just are info dumping Massachusetts. We'll do this on our own time, but how did I not know this? Because honestly- This is the second time we've been in person at all. That's true.

But now seeing you in Vineyard Vines, yeah, I know. Now this is starting to hurt. No, hey, no. I don't- I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what. Don't worry about it. Me, salmon above the knee shorts. I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what. Don't worry about it. Knee, salmon, above the knee shorts.

Then Sperry's. Yep. No socks. Oh, yeah. Of course not. No liner sock that hides either. So you can take them off in the sand. Stinking it up in them.

And then the salmon, but then like. Button down, bright pink. Yeah. Neapolitan colored navel collared shirt. Some of them shark beads. This look. Mustache and everything.

You think I'm dissing you, I'm not. Well, I was changing my whole look, and then you were like, you don't need to change a single thing. You just stay the way you are. And then you're perfect for this completely different type of person No, anyways We'll get lunch

So where are you from? You're not the favorite anymore Damn it, this sucks So where are you from? This is real now Oh, this is real now? Born in Florida, then Virginia, then Arizona Military family

Military brat Military brat Moving around My dad was in the Air Force Flying around Oh wait I know this I know all this Yeah you know this stuff

Yeah I was like I've definitely heard him Talk about this before Yeah Anyways Editing Crazy shit Editing is crazy

But I understand the like Cause when I get into it you can lose track of time and I'd be like oh my whole day is gone suddenly oh doing like editing a lot of times I feel like I'm sometimes especially if there's a sponsor due date I'm like running

and I'm trying to like finish it but like there's a certain once you get more into it it turns into this thing where there's a certain level of quality you'll reach with a certain video and then that becomes the standard and then see i'm trying to i need to set the bar really low and i and i and you have and i think and you're doing it um uh but i don't i don't think any of my viewers are expecting anything right because like this is this is what. Yeah. This is my job.

So this is just a fun little thing. It's more for fun. I saw that both you and Courtney have started this. Courtney's been uploading videos for a long time. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. I feel like I, okay, in that case, then I just saw you both post a video

around the same time. Totally. Yeah. But for you in particular, like just, you just, what, you just looking for some extra cash? No, I've always wanted to. I've always wanted to do it for fun.

I think it's always been a big point of insecurity that I had never done the process on my own. Oh. Wow, that's an interesting. It's like a creative push. That's an interesting complex that I've never considered that one could have. But I get it. Like, I would definitely feel like that if I was in your position. I would feel really bad.

Yeah, I did. I'm so glad I'm not the favorite. When I first joined Smosh, Defy set up a YouTube channel for me. They're like, here's your YouTube channel, and so make stuff up. Oh, really? And I was just so thrown into this world. Oh, so you've had it since then. I've had it for, the channel has been there for 10 years.

I will say. Okay, to be fair, you guys are really busy. Yeah. We are really busy, but I will say it's so nice to start something and edit it on your own. Like, I loved doing that before I got really busy here. I really just wanted to do it for fun. And so I finally, I just was procrastinating. I was getting in my head.

And then I was like, I just need to just do it. And so I'm doing it. And the thing is too, I think that if, definitely opening up without any sort of like high expectations or the quality of it will definitely,

it'll free you a little bit. Oh, totally. I've got like three videos that are getting ready to come out on this second channel that I've had that I haven't used

in like four years. And I'm like trying to post more on there of just like kind of Garbo videos. People love Garbo. just like kind of garbo videos or my perception of garbo videos because like my main channel is just like it is a creative outlet obviously but it's also the chains that bind me because there I place so many restrictions on myself on what is allowed or what is valuable enough to be a video that it's tough.

And so if you allow Smosh to be like, this is where my magic happens, and then you can just be like, hey, I'm just walking around on here. I think that'll take away a lot of the pressure. My mindset now is like, I didn't use it for 10 years, so who cares what I put on it now?

So anyways, let's get to some info dump let's get to some who wants to start who wants to talk about shit and me i i could start you could start amanda i i definitely need i want to see you want to see someone else i want to see someone here's the thing my info dump doesn't have all these like crazy facts i don't know if i i like don't my info dump i had to like kind of update Myself on because it's an info dump That I learned about when I was like

Five years ago so I don't know how long That's okay My info dump is more My info dump is more like a hot take It's just something I'm interested in I think the viewers kind of know that I'm interested In this but this is like a real thing so I love true crime but my hot take is that international detective shows

are a million times better than American detective shows. Okay. Sherlock. Sherlock's good. I'm talking like- Broadchurch. Norway. Like-

The country. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the country. Like Norwegian. Where they have like one crime a year. So like when it happens, it's huge. No, they actually have some really weird crimes, and you know how Netflix is very international?

They'll do all these amazing series, and they're just so much better than American ones. What type of crimes are we talking? Murder. Well, one of my favorite shows ever on HBO, which was like, I feel like Americans would be like, this is why I like it, because they're slower, they're more

intense about the acting. They feel like they grabbed the best stage actors and they did a detective show, whereas I feel like American shows, they add in all this fluff and fun, almost sterile, quippy words that make me be like, ugh, okay.

And it's like rushing. Whereas I feel like Norwegian kind of international detective shows are slower. There's one called The Investigation on HBO. Are these documentaries or are these? They're fiction. A lot of them are real stories that they put into detective shows. Oh, so like NCIS.

So this is like equivalent to like NCIS. I wasn't sure if this was like... Because those are episodic. No. Not NCIS. That's procedural. I'm so sorry. I can't believe you, Ted. I'm so sorry. I'm disrespectful. And you know what? This is your thing.

And I'm sorry that I came to you just assuming... No, it's okay. You can ask questions. Just don't be dumb about it. Yeah. No, I told myself, and I told myself last just assuming... No, it's okay. You can ask questions. Just don't be dumb about it. Yeah. No, I told myself, and I told myself last time I was here, you were like, we were doing the scene on Bit City, and I tried to do a thing, and you were like, stop. And I was like, I'm sorry.

I think I actually did do that. What was this? No, I wasn't... No, and she put the script in my hand. Wow. And she was like, read it as it's written. Tommy worked really hard on this. Tommy worked really hard on this. Say his name.

And I'm like, Tommy Boone. And she's like, yeah, that's right. No, Ted. Okay. So I'm sorry that I came to you. I got too comfortable, Ted. It was our first time filming together. I was dressed as the colonel.

You were also in character. I was the colonel. And I got too comfortable with him. So I was just time filming together. I was dressed as the colonel. You were also in character. I was the colonel and I got too comfortable with him so I was just like nah. What did I say? I was like look at your script. That's insane. I don't know what you're talking about. I said something like oh look at your script or something like that. Oh no when I didn't know the lines and

you know the part when I didn't know the lines. Why are we going back here? You were like look at your fucking script. That's where the solution is. Is in the script. Dad gave me a look of like, oh, look in the script, and I was like, oh, shit. I got too comfy with him.

Honestly, I don't remember this, and so I hope I can really, like, speaking seriously, I don't know what you're talking about when it comes to that. No, it's okay. I brought it home and mulled over it for hours. Really? And then I moved on. You know what I mulled over? What? The fact that I've sent you four contiguous messages on Instagram of separate content and you haven't responded to any of them.

Here's the thing. I know that's the first thing you said. I sent you a meme. What was the meme? Don't. Here's the thing. I don't even know if it's good. That's the first thing he said to me, and I do not read my messages on Instagram.

I'm bad. They overwhelm me. Yeah, this one's good. Let me see. This one's good. You're going to show Shane first. If it's a flat or a squeal, a wobble or peel, your tread's worn down or you need a new wheel,

wherever you go, you can get it from our tread experts. Conquer rugged terrain with on-road comfort. Until June 15th, receive up to $60 on a prepaid MasterCard when you purchase Kumo RoadVenture AT52 tires. Find a Kumo tread experts dealer near you at tread experts.ca locations you can't rely on blind faith to get the pregnancy support you deserve rituals essential prenatal multivitamin is the only leading prenatal backed by its own human clinical trial. Essential prenatal is proven to deliver key nutrients, including folate, biotin, and vitamin D during

pregnancy. Get 25% off when you visit ritual.com slash clinical. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. That's pretty good. That's specifically good for Amanda, yeah. That's how I feel every day. I hate you. That's actually excellent. It's like a photo.

It's like this Greco-Roman or Renaissance photo of this Play-Doh looking off into the distance, and it says, how it feels to explain a meme that requires years of being chronically online for it to be funny that's actually brilliant and i never saw it or laughed at it that sucks yeah you never saw it you never laughed at it you didn't even chuckle because you didn't even know but here's the thing isn't that better no imagine if i read it all and didn't respond imagine if i read it all and didn't respond. Matter of fact, I read it all and it didn't respond. Ooh, that would have been rough. Yeah.

No, I would have c***ed myself. No, don't. Ted. Nah, I would have. You're never going to get that house in Martha's Vineyard if you c*** yourself. I would have never gotten my s*** because I would have c***ed myself. No, don't. The news would have said, Ted shot with gun.

Cuz of Manda. Cuz of Manda. Cuz of Manda Panda. Cuz of Manda Panda. Oh, you're going to add numbers in? Your ideal username has numbers in it? That's my favorite number. The headline in big letters would have been Irma Gerd, and then it would have been that.

Yeah, yeah. And it would have been a cat. Wow. It would have been a cat going. We have a lot to work through, you and I. Yeah. Yeah. So anyways.

So True Detective. No, it's more like, it's not True Detective. It's more like True Detective, right? But some of them are based on true stories. And yeah, NCIS procedural.

They gotta really draw it out so you have like five episodes where it's raining and they're just like looking at each other dramatically. And that's the best part is that you never get to see like Norway landscape

and American detective things. So it's always cold. They're wearing gorgeous big sweaters. Wow. And it's chilly. And the acting is so good. And it's just real. What are the crazy crimes?

Well, the one that I watched, the investigation was about a real crime. It was really actually very messed up. It was about a submarine. What? Yeah. It was back in the day. Not back in the day.

Like a Russian submarine? Years ago. No. Norway. I just kind of assumed that it would be Russian. I didn't know they had those. This isn't The Rock.

Isn't that The Rock? Russia? So, no. This one is about a journalist, a female journalist, who went on this billionaire submarine and was never seen again. Whoa.

True story. Okay. And so the investigation is about the slow-moving process of the investigation of finding her. I didn't realize people could just own a submarine. If you're a rich billionaire. I guess if you're a billionaire, you can kind of do whatever you want. Yeah. Very sad.

Very upsetting. But. Oh. Sorry. But it is very sad. But the acting and the way they did it is so good. And then there are other ones that are not true stories. There are other ones that are like actual,

like The Killing, right? But it's like, actually The Killing was an original Dutch investigation show. Anyways, those are my hot takes. They have trolls and stuff up there too. Yeah, those are my hot takes. They have trolls and stuff up there, too. Yeah, they're the ones doing the murdering. Yeah.

In Norway, the trolls? In Norway, it's all trolls. See, that's why I would never visit Norway, is because of the troll problem. What? The troll problem, man. Okay, I think I've mentioned this before, but I grew up with two 19-year-old... Trolls.

We call them au pairs. They're trolls. They were from Norway, and they were 19, and they taught us that there were trolls everywhere. Why they were there was because if you did anything wrong, they were always watching. So anytime, if you turned your back really fast, you could catch them. It's like a society of Santas. That's terrifying.

Yeah. Yeah. The ones with the jewels in the belly, and they look like old people. Those are the trolls. Yeah. I think they're awesome. What type of jewels? Like sapphires or like emeralds?

It could be like sapphires or emeralds or amethysts. You want to hear something funny that I can't stop talking about? Speaking of sapphire. Oh. That's where it connects here. Tell me. I'm going to lose it if I don't mention it. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I know. Don't be sorry. This is great. So I don't mention it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I know. Don't be sorry. This is great. So I had an epiphany the other day. There is no, there's no, there's Grindr. There's all the regular dating apps, but there's no like lesbian dating app, right? Is there?

So Troll Sapphire is this. Is there a lesbian dating app? Does anyone in this room know? There's not. There's not. No, which is insane. So I had a great idea and i pitched this to my friend who is a lesbian and i was like they should make a lesbian dating app

and call it sapphire sapphire feels like rich good no because it's only rich because of sapphic i i understand where you're going so i told my Because it's sapphic There's a pun there But I told my friend Tucker about this And I was like dude they gotta make a lesbian date And they gotta call it sapphire And his response was oh dude that's a great idea Women love sapphires No

And I was like That's not why I would be calling it that. No. It was awesome. It was awesome. Because he was so supportive, but he just had it fully wrong. Because you call it diamonds. I don't know if women love sapphires.

And they're gorgeous. But he was so with it. Oh, women love sapphires, so two lesb he was so with it i mean oh women love sapphire so this is the perfect logic trail to follow wait why isn't there a lesbian dating app that is actually insane to me it's it's that's that's i guess i can't be surprised when we also learned recently like that there's hardly any uh lesbian bars uh like there's there's gay bars and stuff, but there's not really any lesbian bars. It's completely neglected. It's true.

Sad. There's like some in San Francisco, but okay. It's kind of far away. Who lives there? Exactly. That's what I'm saying. Not enough lesbian bars. I guess we should work on that. Yeah, you know, they need us to do it.

Come join Sapphire to find your flame. Sapphire's desire. Imagine a lesbian dating app comes out, and it's like, you're the creator. It's like, who made this? It's you. Women love Sapphires. Get on here and find your match. I'm going to make so much money from that.

Thank you, guys. My info dump is done because, you know because I can tell you guys have never seen an international. They're so good, and the acting is so much better. Oh. Sorry. Maybe it's because they're speaking another language, and you can't decipher how bad they are. Yeah. I think about that sometimes.

No, you can just tell. Oh, okay. You can just tell. And it's slower. you have to be really into like crime shit like you know how i love watching like court stuff you have to be really into like the slow process of it i think that's why i love it i feel like maybe the acting is different because i feel like a lot of those crime shows that they have now they're just they're pooping them out it's like they're just shitting them out making me laugh what they're pooping them out. That's what I mean. They're just shitting them out. Why is that making me laugh?

What? They're pooping them out. They're pooping them out, whereas I feel, you know, it's not like they're, in Norway, I can't imagine that they're rocking the same amount of budget

and frequency of projects as- No, they release it once every year or every seven. Yeah, so they're like, they're locking in. They're locked in. Yeah, they're getting the best actors in all of Norway. That's why. Yeah. Yeah. Americans are just pumping it out. They're locked in. Yeah, they're getting the best actors in all of Norway.

That's why. Yeah. Yeah. Americans are just pumping it out. There's too many. So many crimes. And they're all very punny. It's like the cross, the line.

I don't know if those are ones, but I feel like they're always police tape phrases. Crime. Exactly. Police scanner. Yeah. Oh, that should be a good one. Really. Exactly. Police scanner. Yeah. Oh, that should be a good one. Really? Yeah.

The guy has like abilities and he can find people with scanning them. Wait, okay. So they have superpowers now? No. They could. They could.

We pitch on this show. We're artists. Okay, I'm done. I mean, I guess I can try. So like, whatever guys. Whatever. Okay. This is why I've been, this mean, I guess I can try. So, like, whatever, guys. Whatever. Okay.

This is why I keep changing the topic because I don't know how much I have to talk about. That's okay. That's why I keep throwing you guys off. I've been socially engineering this podcast. Okay. But it's fine. I only had, like, five minutes of it. Okay.

When I was really into Halo, the game Halo. You know Halo. I do. Such a good show. I actually stopped watching. That's not. Is that the only thing you know about Halo is that show? I never played Halo.

Okay. I feel like that's so crazy. But it would be fun. I never played much Halo. Wait. I think I played it once here. This just means that she thinks that Master Chief doesn't usually wear his helmet. That's true.

When in the games, he never took it off. Yeah, because in the show, he took it off a lot. Yeah. And I was like, there he is, Master Chief. Yeah. I'm curious. Can you break down that tone for me? What?

Do you like Master Chief or are you against him? I like him. Okay. In the show. It didn't sound like you did. him? I like him. Okay. In the show. It didn't sound like you did. No, I like when he takes off his helmet. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Not just his helmet. He's got a crush on Master Chief. I like Master Chief. He's hot. Yeah, no. He's eight feet tall. He is.

I like that. I didn't know that for a long time. Really? I'd play Halo. I'd watch friends play Halo. And then it was revealed to me at a certain point. It was like, yeah, he's like eight feet tall. I was like, what?

And his creation was written. Yeah. Because millions of years ago in the Halo lore, there was a species of creatures called the Precursors. And the Precursors basically kind of like invent... And, you know, there's going to be some Halo goblins that are going to be listening to this. I was going to say, they're going to be on your ass. They're going to be on this. And this is just me

after updating myself on it and having read the Wikipedia when I was 16. It's fine. The precursors, they kind of like are God in some ways. Like, they created... Or, like, they're the first intelligent species that existed millions of years ago. Yeah. Like they created or like they're the first intelligent species that existed millions of years ago.

Yeah. And they I'm pretty sure that they created other species. So they like made like fucking humanity and they made

the Forerunners. You know about that from the show? Is that they talk about in the show the Forerunners? The Forerunners.

Those Anyways. Those trucks that people get on? The forerunners. Those. Anyways. Those trucks that people get on? They made, the Sangheili? That sounds familiar. Cortado? Oh, God.

Oh. Oh. Oh. That's a critical blow right there. Oh, my God. That cleared my sinuses. Your tummy ache went away. Oh my god.

Don't cry on this show. Don't cry on this show because I take risks, okay? I take fucking risks on this show. Don't cry for me, honey. Oh my god. Cortana. Cortana was crazy.

Cortana? Yeah, I know. Cortana sounds like was crazy Cortana? Yeah I know Cortana sounds like her drunk uncle or something and she's like an AI program I created a new character Oh my god Cortana That's awesome He sounds like he eats burritos and doesn't move

There you go Anyways He's wearing a Hawaiian shirt Oh my god I'm crying That's so funny That's so true That's so funny The wonder in your eyes When you said it

It was like Cortado It's like genuine That was awesome Papa Cortado Papa Cortado Cause I thought

You were gonna look at me And go wow You do know a lot I know And it was So Opposite That was oh my god that was that was amazing that's every day that was like i i hope that i hope that i can feel the the funny i hope

i can get that again someday you will what i just probably keep talking oh my god that was amazing every day yeah it's out of time here cortado wow okay sorry um yeah yeah where was i oh yeah so the precursors they made a a bunch of you know species and stuff and then they made the foreigners the foreigners are like they got really really advanced and then they started getting a little bit egotistical and And they started being like, yeah, no, I don't think we need these precursor guys anymore. And they, you know, the precursors, they're sort of in charge of, you know, the galaxy. They're in control of everything. They have this thing called the mantle of responsibility,

which is like this sort of role at the peak being like a sort of a tier one, or tier almost zero civilization, where it's like tier seven is pretty low, tier 0 is really high. They can go faster than light travel. They can make big, huge structures the size of planets

and stuff like that. And they can make intelligent life. You saying that, the way that you're being like, yeah, it feels like you're not getting any of this. I'm getting it. I'm just trying to figure out where it was in the show.

Never in the show. All before. This is like millions of years ago. Damn. This is millions of years ago. Okay. Then the Forerunners were like, we don't really like the Precursors anymore. We kind of want the mental responsibility.

So they go into a war with the Precursors. And I think that they won. then the precursors were like, man, fuck, what are we going to do? I guess we're going to turn ourselves to dust. Where does Master Chief come into play? Yeah, as a way to survive further. Hopefully later on they would be revived from the dust, but then

the dust got corrupted and it turned into a little thing that we like to call the flood. The flood? Yeah. Whoa, I don't know any of this. You know about the flood? So where?

Did you play Halo 3? No, I never played Halo. Oh. This is an info dump for all them out there. So the flood is, we got any Halo players in here? Am I in a room? Scott over there Are you rocking with this?

One look at Scott and you know he played Halo You played 1 and 2? Oh you know about the flood Scott knows about the flood The flood is sort of this Like Hive mined Galactic level parasite virus that is controlled by a larger intelligence called the Grave Mind. And there's no cure for it.

And we're talking the highest level of civilization you could ever possibly have. They can't fucking kill this shit. It's taken over planets. The only way to try to stop it is to fucking glass a planet, which is like shooting fucking lasers at it until the entire surface of the planet is glass. And they're just destroying planets to try to stop this. Because they'll – like imagine like this parasite thing and it like can take over your body and then it can control it and then then it's part of the hive mind.

So then it can like, and this is an intelligent hive mind, like a super intelligent hive mind. So it can take over a planet and now it's got control of the ships. You know? Like the spaceships and stuff. And now it's going to other planets.

Damn! So that's how it's spread. Is that the main enemy of the games? It's one of the enemies. That's just one bad guy? That's like it's spread. Is that the main enemy of the games? It's one of the enemies. That's just one bad guy? That's like an ancient enemy. It's like a tertiary antagonist of the Halo series. We just always know it's there.

Yeah, and it's kind of like the reason for the Halo arrays. The arrays? The Halo arrays. You know about this. Like what your shirt did and why you had to change shirts. Yeah. The halo array is why I had to change my shirt. The halo array?

So fast forward some time. Fast forward some time and humanity also existed 100,000 years ago, millions of years ago as this space faring civilization. That's pretty crazy, right? Whoa. In the lore of this thing. Humanity was this spacefaring civilization that's pretty crazy right in the lore of this thing humanity was a spacefaring uh civilization they were super advanced apparently they were a little bit like a little bit physiologically different than we are now like they were like taller that's where i how i got another thing they were a little bit taller oh and um apparently more intelligent which kind of is a bummer. Well, they were space-faring.

Yeah, yeah. And so they were kind of like, they were also in the galaxy, and they had a bunch of planets. And the Forerunners had a bunch of planets. But humanity ran into the Flood at one point. And they were like, fuck, what the hell is this? And they're fighting the Flood. Is that Master Chief?

Not yet. This is a million years ago. They're fighting the Flood, and then Flood's winning. They're kind of getting pushed out of their territory, and we're talking on a galactic scale, a bunch of planets. And they're like, okay,

well, we need to make up for this territory. So they start taking Forerunner planets because they're running from the Flood. But then the Forerunners are like, you guys are fucking starting a war with us. guys are fucking attacking us we're gonna fight you back so now it's like humanity's like a pincer thing where the foreigners are fighting them and whatever here we humanity basically gets their ass kicked because they're fighting a forerunner and the and the flood at the same time and then the forerunners fucking like do some crazy shit where they like

devolve humanity and put them back on earth if it's a flat or a squeal a wobbler peel your dreads worn down or you need a new wheel wherever you go you can get a pro tread experts conquer rugged terrain with on-road comfort until june 15th, receive up to $60 on a prepaid MasterCard when you purchase Kumo RoadVenture AT52 tires. Find a Kumo TreadExperts dealer near you at treadexperts.ca slash locations. Did you know that many products for pregnant women do not have their own clinical trials for safety or efficacy. That's because pregnant women are often excluded from clinical studies. Ritual is aiming to set a new standard with their Essential Prenatal Multivitamin. It's the number one best-selling prenatal and the only leading prenatal backed by its own human clinical trial. Essential prenatal

is proven to deliver key nutrients, including folate, biotin, and vitamin D during pregnancy. Moms taking essential prenatal had a lower overall cortisol level during pregnancy than those taking a leading prenatal. Plus, it's designed to be gentle on the stomach. Ritual doesn't just have your back. They have the receipts. Get 25% off at ritual.com slash clinical. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. And then put them out of the tier seven. That's how we are. Yeah, they put them back to hunter-gatherers. And then now,

foreigners are fighting the flood, and they have to make this, and they don't really know how to fight the flood. There's no cure. So their solution is to create the Halo Array. This is where the Halo name comes from. Whoa. Because it's a series of super weapons,

these giant rings that are planet-sized rings that are spread throughout the galaxy. And when they're activated, they basically just... Like a safe house? No, they kill all life in the galaxy. It's fully the opposite concept. They're just doing a gigantic self-delete on the galaxy. And so they do that, but the way that they save all the intelligent species and, is they do kind of like that seed place in Norway or something.

Yeah? They do kind of like an equivalent of that. And then after the halo ray fires, they put all of those species back on their planets and stuff like that. Oh, wow. Yeah. So, whoa. And the first Halo game is Earth discovering one of the Halo rings. Yeah. So it literally

starts off and you're like what is this? Yeah they're like what the fuck is going on here? So then is one of the games you're going backwards in time to learn all that history? No this is just all lore. This is just all lore. You learn this over the course of the games and stuff like that.

And like there's like this whole thing where when humanity got devolved, there was this forerunner character called the Librarian who was sort of like the protector of humanity in a way because she actually gave a shit. Whereas this other guy, the Didact, he was like, fuck these guys, we should just genocide these fuckers. And she was like, no, don't do that.

And so she put, it was weird, it was like she put stuff in humanity's DNA to eventually develop stuff like the battle armor and like Cortado and stuff like that. Yeah, I got that one. So. Whoa. So in the show, what's crazy about Cortado is the actor in season one gets replaced in season two. I love the actor in season one. And everyone's like, what the hell?

I liked her too. She was way better. So I don't know why she got. Respectfully to the actor who plays her in season two, I'm sure you're a very nice person. She was the voice in the video game. Yeah. So then I don't know why she got replaced.

I don't know either. I think that it was a. Contract disputes? I think that's always impossible. Yeah. I guess you guys as actors probably. I guess. Would know more about how it could go wrong. I mean, it's always impossible. Yeah, I guess you guys as actors probably would know more about how we could go around with it. I mean, it could be anything.

Yeah. You should have booked another show. Do you not categorize yourself as an actor? I just haven't really been doing it that much. I guess I have a little bit recently, but when I was in high school, I was doing the theater, and I was doing the musicals and stuff.

And I was like, I do acting. But now I'm a fucking YouTuber. What were you cast as all the time in theater? Dad? Huh? No, not really. Anyone who was tall. Yeah, I mean, I don't know.

In junior year, I got the part of Dirty Old Man in Sweet Charity. There you go. That's the lead. The lead of Sweet Charity. That's the lead. Yeah, because he's a dirty old man and he's running a charity. Wow. Yeah.

Halo dump. He's like, I'm so dirty, but the kids need to eat. He's my favorite Halo character. Yeah, Dirty Old Man. Dirty Old Man. Yeah. He's pretty good. He's my favorite Halo character. Yeah, Dirty Old Man. Dirty Old Man. Yeah. He's pretty good. He's got that laser blade.

I feel like, how are we doing on time? Because I've been talking about this for a while. 51. 51? Okay. I mean, what else do you want to know? Ask me anything about Halo.

Do you play as Master Chief in all of them? In all the Halos? Yeah. No, in Halo ODST, you play as Master Chief in all of them? In all the Halos? Yeah. No, in Halo ODST, you play as an ODST. What's an ODST? They're like people who come down on drop pods. They're sort of like... They're like bar soccer, Navy SEALs equivalent.

Oh, okay. But they're not like Spartans. Spartans are like a super level. So they're not a superhuman? Yeah, they're not a superhuman. Kind of a regular guy. Yeah, Master. But they're not like Spartans. Spartans are like a super level. So they're not a superhuman. Yeah, they're not a superhuman. Kind of a regular guy. Yeah, Master Chief is a Spartan. Yeah. It's pretty fucked up how the Spartan program was started. Yeah, really sad.

They took them as kids. Yeah, they took them as kids and they replaced them, the children. They stole children from their families. They're like spirit. And then they replaced the children with Flash clones, which are clones that will die very soon after. So basically, for the families, it's like their child just kind of suddenly died. So they didn't know that their child was dead. No, they didn't.

They just assumed their child died. That's wild. I did not know that. They're like, oh my god, my child just died. It's really sad. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that happened in the show, too. So she's being legit right now. It did. It did not know that. They're like, oh my God, my child just died. It's really sad. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that happened in the show too. So she's being legit right now. It did.

It happened in the show. They had a bunch of clones and then, not a bunch, but like you'd watch the clone and the clone is like living a life being like, oh, everything's fine. And then they die. Yeah. And so it's like, oh my God, my child died. So they never have to wonder if they were taken. And the clone has no idea they're a clone.

Yeah. Well, watch the show. Well, yeah, the clone. What? Now I a clone. Yeah. Well, watch the show. Well, yeah, the clone. What? Now I'm forgetting about how. The clone. Oh, yeah.

Watch the show. Oh, God. I don't know. Everyone's like, don't watch the show. I don't know too much about, because I watched the show a while ago and I don't really, I wasn't really. I only watched, I think,

the first season and then the second season. And after the second season, I was like, all right, Master Chief. Yeah. We're good. Yeah, but Master Chief, he's pretty cool.

He's, he's, yeah, he's strong. He's, I'm like losing steam for my own information here. You've done great. I think we're good.

Really? You're good? Yeah, I think we can wrap this up. No, I got more to say. No, no, no, no. No, I think we actually have to. The same healing got more to say. No, no, no, no. No, I think we actually have to. The same healing.

No. No. No. Okay. Yeah, I want to hear your dumps. I was just going to. This was finally my excuse to talk about books here. You do.

I don't talk. I don't really go in on books. You talk about books. When have I talked about books? You talk about books every day. Not here. You know there's like 40 Halo novels? I talk about books every day. Not a year. You know there's like 40 Halo novels?

I do know that. Really? Yeah, because Brian David Gilbert did the whole deep dive on them. All right, let's talk about I would love to. No, I mean it. Now I'm like, now I sound like an asshole. What you do. And because when you said it, you were like, I would love to. I would love to hear about your books.

I want to hear about your books. I do, too. Because you messaged me. I responded to your DMs. No, I DMed you. So I need to go through those. Because you suggested books specifically. I need to order those.

Because basically what I was doing is I was filling a bookshelf. So I basically made a close friend story. If you responded to my message, you might be on it. Yeah, I need to order those because basically what I was doing is I was filling a bookshelf so I basically made a close friend story you know if you responded to my message you might be on it but I asked everyone I was like send me some books

and then pretty much anyone who responded I just ordered the book so you filled a bookshelf full of books that you have not read yeah so now I can just go through them

and I can just read and I know that these are all that's intense did he say Yellowface? no I did not recommend Yellowface because you were right now I'm reading Just Kids by Patti Smith oh I and I know that these are all That's intense. Did he say Yellowface? No, I did not recommend Yellowface because you were Right now I'm reading Just Kids by Patti Smith.

Oh, I don't know that one. I think her last name is Smith. Whoa. What? Patti Smith. Singer? No. Okay.

I don't think so. It's like an autobiography about artists that I wasn't aware of. So I'm like reading it without the context and then Might be.

But it's a I don't do a ton of autobiographies. So I'm like reading it without the context. But it's a... I don't do a ton of autobiographies. I need to keep reading it. I need to keep reading it. But it's good. I mean, it's well-written. I think it's one of those things where it's like, I hadn't read books in like years.

And so it was nice to like go back into a book and then see a word I hadn't ever seen before and then learn it that way. Because I feel like I have a pretty good vocabulary. That's because I used to read all the time. Oh. And then I just kind of stopped reading. You went on the internet too much. When did you stop reading?

When did I stop reading? Probably, honestly, probably when I got out of high school. That's so funny because it was like the flip for me because I hated reading as a kid. What? I didn't want to touch books. I despised it. I like hardly read anything. And then it was around like 16 when I just was like, I need to read books.

I was like, I got to get into this. Now you read so many books. And so I started reading and then I just like, I was like, I'm going to just go in. Like I'm going to start with like a bunch of classics. And then ever since I've just always been reading books. It's like got to be good for you. It's very good for you. It's got to be good for you.

And you read books. You don't audio. I do audio books. I do audio books for nonfiction. I prefer audio for nonfiction because then if I lose track for a second, it's not the end of the world. Whereas fiction, if you don't pay attention for like a beat,

then you come back and you're like, wait, what happened? Who is this guy? Whereas nonfiction, I'm like, okay, I come back, but I understand

what we're talking about. What are you reading right now? I just started a book that you might like. I started a mystery that just got released that's pretty acclaimed right now.

It's called The God of the Woods and it takes place in the 70s and it's at a summer camp and this girl goes missing. Oh, I love summer camp. She's not in her bunk

and it's the daughter of the parents who own the summer camp. Of course. Oh no. The heir. Where'd she go? And then it's also revealed

that 14 years earlier her brother disappeared at that summer camp too and nobody knows what happened. You know! Where'd she go? And then it's also revealed that 14 years earlier, her brother disappeared at that summer camp too, and nobody knows what happened. You know what it reminds me of? It reminds me of Boy in the Woods by Harlan Coben that I read forever ago. And Netflix did a show about it, and it was not American, it was international. And I

loved it. And it was so good. And it was literally, a boy went missing in his bunk. So anyways, God in bunk so anyways God in the Woods God in the Woods really good yeah but I read all sorts of stuff all the time I'm also listening to a book called Filter World which is about algorithms

and how they affect culture this is non-fiction or fiction? this is non-fiction but it's fascinating it's talking about like just every element of it I'm not too far into that but i i love that type of stuff whoa um i also i had earlier read uh something similar to an autobiography i read um uh the house of my mother which is by the daughter of ruby frankie the the vlogger family vloggers are from Utah

No this one went to jail recently Oh Yeah for horrendous stuff Wasn't there another Utah family vlogger That something happened with them? This was like a year or so ago Her and her therapist This was crazy

But it's a great book Because she wrote it And in the audio book she wrote it and uh and in the audiobook she reads it and so you're and which i always prefer like with memoirs and autobiographies i like audiobooks it's like them doing it like jeanette mccurdy's book yeah she's reading it and stuff so you're kind of like i'm like okay i get to know how important this was to you um but i'm reading all sorts of stuff i mean yellow face is probably my favorite book from last year that's what i thought that you would recommend that to me.

I mean, I recommend that book to anyone. It's by R.F. Kwong, who's my favorite author. She wrote this series called The Poppy War, which is this insane fantasy trilogy. She wrote this other book called Babble, which is really awesome. Is that the one that they did the movie on? No, they're going to do a movie on Yellowface. Really? But Yellowface, I don't even...

It's like a thriller, like a cringe thriller is the best way I can describe it. What makes it cringe? Okay, slight... This isn't spoiler. This is stuff that happens in the first 15 pages, but if you really don't want to know, you can fast forward through

this part. But basically this woman, this white woman, she's trying to be an author. She's not having too much success. And a friend of hers, not like super close friend, but just an acquaintance friend, this Asian woman, she is having just hit after hit. She's becoming this acclaimed author. They're hanging out one night, and her friend is showing her like, oh oh I have this manuscript for this book that I haven't shown anyone that I've written out on a typewriter

and it's about it's kind of inspired from the Chinese revolution in the 1900s and it's this big epic and yeah and they're hanging out and they're eating pancakes late at night and then her friend chokes and dies no and she's like, oh my

gosh, my friend died. This is horrible. Also, she has her manuscript. I should look it over and I can make some edits. Oh, I should publish this under my own name so that I can help her live on. And she's a white woman trying to pass

this off and the whole book is her like this book is a huge hit because it's a great written book but it's just everyone being like so how did you i don't like find the inspiration for this and it's her just oh having to continue it is awful every page is so devastating because it's so cringy and just i don't think i could do i don't think i can read that kiana recommended it and she had to put it down at one point because she couldn't handle it.

It's awesome. I struggle with that, like a secret, big secret. It's an extremely dark comedy in a way, but it is so good. I'm uncomfortable thinking about that, all the implications of that.

It's really messed up and then it's like, it gets into a lot of things where it's like, the publication company's like, yeah, so you know, considering the themes of this, her name's like, it gets into a lot of things where it's like, the publication company's like, yeah, so, you know, considering the themes of this, her name's like,

I forget what her, the author's name is. It's like Juniper Hayward or something. They're like, we should put it under a pseudonym. You should go by Juniper Song so that people don't know

your ethnicity. It's, it's awesome. It is so rough to read, but it is really well written. R.F. Kuang is just like a genius. She just writes. And then what's crazy is The Poppy War, her other trilogy, completely different than that.

Like this just insane fantasy epic. Wow. Like she's all over the place. Well, that's fun. I mean, that's cool. I like that. I like it when people are just like, I want to do this. And then I also kind of want to do this.

Like doing one thing all the time. She's all over the place. She has a book coming out later this year, which is about, I think it's about two academic students who traveled to the underworld to get a letter of recommendation from their dead professor. That's funny. Wait, that's amazing.

Yeah. It's called Catabasis. People are like, stoked for it. I am. I know I am. You should do your movie like book reviews on your YouTube channel. Yeah. He said he was going to in his video. I'll probably do that.

You know, the one that you watched, right? Yeah, I watched a little bit of it. I didn't watch the whole thing. It was four minutes long. No, it wasn't. No, it wasn't. My first video was four minutes. You skipped. I wasn't. No, it wasn't. My first video was four minutes. You skipped.

I don't expect anyone to watch a piece for it. I watched the first two minutes. You noped out at two minutes. It showed me that. In the analytics, it said, this is how much Amanda watched. This is my issue. I struggle to be on the phone for too long. She's got an issue with you.

No, I struggle to be on the phone for too long. I's got an issue with you. No, I struggle to be on the phone for too long. I have a limit on my Instagram. Do you know what's crazy? At the beginning of this podcast, you were telling me when I mentioned the Barbie video thing, you were like, that's an hour and 48 minute long video. And you can't get through four minute long

change video? Ted's a really good YouTuber, so it's alright. No, no, no. That's not what's happening. I would prepare for that. Whereas yours, I saw that you posted. I was like, ooh, I would prepare for that Whereas yours I saw that you posted I was like ooh I should watch And I watched the first two minutes I was like nice he's doing it Goodbye That's my truth I love you and I think you did a great job I really

I was like oh my god I fucking get it great I did not That's great I didn't expect anyone to watch any of it. I don't like this. I don't care. I don't like what you're doing, and I don't like... You're great.

Excuse me. You can't be mean to me. I'm a guest. Yes, I can. He's our Smegot guest. I can't believe you. Okay, don't cry here. He's never going to come back, man.

Yeah, he will. Right? Yeah, I will. I do like coming on for Smosh. Every time you guys ask me to do something, I'm like, yeah. And then you sleep in. I was on time. Honestly, I bring it up more than you guys do.

Then you sleep in. I made it today, though. You did make it. I made it today. You know why? Because you guys gave me a call time of 8.50, so I was aiming for 8.50. You gave me a call time of like 10 a.m., I would have... You would have slept through it?

Likely. So 8.50, you're not going to sleep through. When do you wake up usually? What? Honestly, okay. I had a really strong period where I was waking up at like 8 every day. It was awesome. And I was going to bed at like 10 or 11.

I'm falling asleep at like 1 or 2 recently, and it's bad. Okay. And I was looking at how much time I'd love to sleep, and I was like, I've got to wake up at 7 if I want to get there at 8.50. And I was like, okay, so I only got like 5 hours of sleep. But that's enough time. Wrong. No, it's not. It never is.

It's tough. It never is. I need a cool eight. I love a cool eight. Well, I think we're out of time. We're out of time. Probably good for me because I was going to rant into other things about books like book talk, but you don't talk about book talk. No, we should talk about book talk.

No, you don't. That's the one thing I was going to talk about. The one thing with book talk is you don't talk about BookTok. Like Fight Club? Lest ye be punished. By who? BookTok. By BookTok.

In fact, us talking about it, even just mentioning this right now, this could get clipped onto TikTok and we're screwed. Well, aren't they like sexually repressed freaks on there? Isn't that like the whole thing with BookTok? Ted, it's been great having you on. He's on BookTok. Okay. Ted, thanks for being a guest um it's been great i've learned a lot thanks you're from massachusetts we're gonna talk about that later do i get to plug something plug whatever you want

i've got a brand new podcast with my best friend tucker it's called take it easy you can find us on youtube as take it easy take at take itPod, or on Instagram at TakeItEasy. Just TakeItEasy. We got that at, which is really cool. It's a very fun, and on Spotify and everywhere. TakeItEasy. TakeItEasy. That's the new podcast, and it's a good time.

It's with my best friend of 11 years, Tucker Keene. Wow. And we just started. We just launched it on the 4th of February. Oh. So, yeah. I love all the promo photos you have for it. I like the houndstooth jacket you got on in them.

Oh, the... Pretty good. Houndstooth? Is that not the pattern of it? Like the tweed thing? Tweed. Is he the one that recommended Sapphire? Well, I'm the one who recommended Sapphire.

He's the one who was like, oh, that's a great idea. Women love Sapphire. You guys need to talk about that in the podcast. We did. You did? Okay, I'm going to listen to that. I can't wait to listen. But I was like, I feel like this is too funny of a moment to not bring on other podcasts.

Of course. No, it's too good. No, it's a good marketing for it. And what's funny about those photo shoots is that we did a photo shoot for every major U.S. holiday. So for, because you saw the Valentine's Day one. Yeah. So we've got one. There's one for St. Patrick's Day that we did.

Oh. Like we have one for every single one. That's awesome. Yeah. For Anchor Day or Arbor Day. I don't know if we have one for Arbor Day, but Arbor Day keeps coming up whenever I talk about this. And I don't know what Arbor Day is. I don't either.

Our call out, we have a Smosh Mouth shirt that you can get. I've been sweating in this. And one of them, if you buy it, one of them might be the one that Ted sweat in. Oh, that's so gross. Oh, my God. That would be so awesome. We're going to wrap it back up. Yeah, you'll never know.

They're going to go on merch soon. Oh, yeah. It'll be out there. Yeah, it'll be out there very soon. Oh, yeah, when'll never know. They're going to go on merch soon. Oh, yeah. It'll be out there. Yeah, it'll be out there very soon. Oh, yeah, when this gets released. Anyways, Halo. All right. Bye.

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