Smosh Mouth - #88 - Never Have I Ever w/ Keith Leak Jr.

Episode Date: April 7, 2025

Amanda and Shayne play Never Have I Ever with Keith Leak Jr.! Go to https://www.Zocdoc.com/SMOSHMOUTH to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. The right stay can make you a fan of any U.S. city. Book today on the Booking.com site or app. https://Booking.com, Booking.YEAH! Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to https://rocketmoney.com/SMOSHMOUTH today. 0:00 Intro 2:36 Hey what's up hello! 6:25 Memory lane 12:04 Sponsor! 13:18 Never Have I Ever... 33:14 Sponsor! 35:25 Back to Never Have I Ever 50:21 Sponsor! 51:50 Back to Never Have I Ever! (again!) PODCAST: https://bit.ly/SmoshMouthSpotify https://smo.sh/SmoshMouthiHeart https://bit.ly/SmoshMouthApple  SUBSCRIBE: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshCast WEAR OUR JOKES: https://smosh.com  WHO YOU HEAR Shayne Topp // https://www.instagram.com/shaynetopp/ Keith Leak Jr. // https://www.instagram.com/keithleakjr/ Amanda Lehan-Canto // https://www.instagram.com/filmingamanda/ WHO YOU DON’T HEAR (usually) Director: Selina Garcia Editor: Kortney Luby Producer: Amanda Lehan-Canto, Shayne Topp, Selina Garcia Production Designer: Cassie Vance Art Director: Erin Kuschner Assistant Art Director: Josie Bellerby Stage Manager: Alex Aguilar Prop Master: Courtney Chapman Prop Assistant: Abby Schmidt Set Decorator: Carly Hough Set Dresser: Tayler Nicholson Set Dresser: Ryan Nguyen Audio Mixer: Scott Neff Audio Utility: Dina Ramli Director of Photography: Brennan Iketani Camera Operator: James Hull Assistant Director: Jonathan Hyon Executive Vice President of Production: Amanda Barnes Senior Production Manager: Alexcina Figueroa Production Manager: Jonathan Hyon Production Coordinator: Zianne Hoover Operations & Production Coordinator: Oliver Wehlander Production Assistant: Caroline Smith Post Production Manager: Luke Baker DIT/Lead AE: Matt Duran IT: Tim Baker Director of Design: Brittany Hobbs Graphic Designers: Ness Cardano, Monica Ravitch Senior Manager, Channel & Strategy: Lizzy Jones Channel Operations Coordinator: Audrey Carganilla Director of Social Media: Erica Noboa Social Creative Producer: Peter Ditzler, Tommy Bowe Merchandising Manager: Mallory Myers Social Media Coordinator: Kim Wilborn Brand Partnership Manager: Chloe Mays Operations Manager: Selina Garcia Talent Coordinator: Danielle Moses People Operations Specialist: Katie Fink Front Office Assistant: Sara Faltersack CEO: Alessandra Catanese EVP of Programming: Kiana Parker Coordinator Producer of Programming: Marcus Munguia Associate Producer, Special Projects: Rachel Collis OTHER SMOSHES: Smosh: https://smo.sh/Sub2Smosh Smosh Pit: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshPit Smosh Games: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshGames El Smosh (Spanish Dub): https://smo.sh/Sub2ElSmosh FOLLOW US: TikTok: https://smo.sh/TikTok Instagram: https://instagram.com/smosh Facebook: https://facebook.com/smosh

Everyone's got a pro. Need tires? I've got a pro. Car making a weird sound? I've got a pro. So who's that pro? The pros at Tread Experts. From tires to auto repair, Tread Experts is always there, helping you with Kumo tires you can trust. Until June 15th, receive up to $60 on a prepaid MasterCard when you purchase Kumo RoadVenture AT52 tires. Find your pro at your local tread experts. Conquer rugged terrain with on-road comfort until June 15th, receive up to $60 on a prepaid MasterCard when you purchase Kumo RoadVenture AT52 tires. Find a Kumo TreadExperts dealer near you at treadexperts.ca slash locations. From tires to auto repair, we're always there. TreadExperts.ca Hey, welcome to Smosh Mouth. I'm Shane. Oh, hey. Welcome to Smosh Mouth. I'm Shane. Oh, hey. Welcome to Smosh Mouth. I'm Mandy.

And this is our wonderful guest, Kith. Kith. What's up, Kith? What's up, Kith? Guys, don't you love when you go on a show or watch a television show and they're like, Hey, how are you? We didn't talk like 10 minutes before. Yeah, they're like, It's so good to see you. Oh my God.

He just walked in. We weren't expecting him to be here today it's crazy that you're here it's always like that it's like oh my god hi and you're like on and right when you get there like oh my god i'm exhausted so anyways you want coffee or anything exactly shout out to ellen who ellen never forget ellen never forget now I know people say she was mean and she wasn't the nicest person but Ellen has created a a lot of great moments for us back in the day you didn't watch the Ellen show of course I did I loved Ellen I watched Ellen's stand-up really like when yeah I watched Ellen stand up in college when she came out it was like i think she came out in one of her stand-ups or i could be crazy you could be making that up i

could be making that up but she had a legit stand-up it's definitely fuck her stand-up we're talking about the ellen show that's what that's where it was i i will say it's actually so funny to think back on how kind of dare I say revolutionary it was that she was just like guys let's dance and everyone was like whoa she's changing it up she's dancing black people loved her because she had rhythm I'm telling you

like look at this white girl go no it's odd it's odd to think back on how like during that time she was like so loved and everyone like she's the sweet think back on how like during that time she was like so loved and everyone like she's the sweetest person on tv literally and that's how i choose to remember her good i'm so glad it's unfortunate that she had that big fall where everyone's like no she's psychotic i was like wait a second unfortunately though it was one of those where i i had heard about it from

like people in the industry for years of just like don't work for her. That sucks. And then I was just like oh that sucks and then like it really like blew up. Then you look back at clips when she scares celebrities like aggressively when they're sitting there and then these creepy things come out of the box and they're super scared and Ellen's like and you're like uh oh.

I see it. I see that. So we got some Ellen haters on our hands here today. No, no. No. Maybe rightfully so. I love that you brought up Ellen. Yeah.

Change the subject, Keith. I've been thinking about you this past couple weeks. Oh, my God. You are lucky. Let me tell you, honey, you are lucky. Look, listen, Keith, I never think about anybody. And I've been thinking about you.

I feel so special. No, it's very stupid. For some reason, Fetty Wap has been playing so much lately. Oh my God. It has been playing nonstop. I didn't hear him for years.

Suddenly his music is just all over TikTok. He's back? Just his songs. No, he's in jail. Yeah, he's in jail. Yeah, he's in jail. 200 pounds of drugs, I believe. Yeah, it was something crazy. What?

How long has he been in jail for? I don't know. Him and his one eye has been in jail for maybe like three years now. So how is he making music? He's not. He's not. No, it's remixes of his songs. Oh, okay. On TikTok. It has me thinking about when I first, when we first joined Smosh, Fetty

Wap, you couldn't go a day without hearing it multiple times. Yep. And that was, like, for a year or two. Yeah, it was for, like, a year or two. I mean, I played it in the office every day. Every day. Did you like the songs? I like the songs a lot.

Did I ever annoy you that I played the music so much? No, no. Those songs were very, like, joyful. Uh-huh. They're, like, they're very lively. I just love Shane listening to music. It's so great. He's playing Fetty Wap and he's just joyful.

Truly, anytime we all got in a car together it was just like, hey, what's up? Hello! I mean, it's so good. I remember our first VidCon, you sang it to the crowd. Let's find that clip. 17, 38. 17, 38.

I'm telling you, he had me in a chokehold. I mean, it was so good. It was. Hello. His voice was different. He had melodies. It was very gravelly, but just kind of sweet and nice. What bums me out, I mean, I get why he's in jail But it's like Yeah Maybe I shouldn't say that

But I was like It's sad to me I'm like Oh he can't do his music But I guess he's in jail For a reason Actually you can Actually you can

I think Tory Lanez Just put out some music From jail Tory Lanez is gonna be In jail for a bit For a bit Cause he shot at Megan Thee Stallion's feet

Oh damn I was very into that I went down a rabbit hole. Why did he shoot at Megan Thee Stallion's feet while she was out of the car? And cops were there. They showed up. What was going on? No, I know. It's really

weird that I do this. With Fetty Wap, though, he had a couple years before he was in jail, so I think he also just kind of wasn't meeting the standards of his first couple songs. Those songs were jail so i think he also just kind of wasn't meeting the standards of his first couple songs yeah those songs were just so huge yeah he was never gonna meet that how do okay so how do you make music from jail and this is the real question oh i i don't i think so what the answers so i'm just gonna go off of'm hearing. So with the way that recording equipment is now, just like mics and everything, you can record off of the phone call.

They're doing it through the phone? And how's the quality? The quality is good because of the way the equipment is. Everything, we are truly in the future, y'all. We are. We are in the future. No, it's true. Now, if you would have did this in 2005

it would have sounded like static you know yeah now it's just like i mean i could record a whole album on my phone on my like voice memo yep do it no you can't i'm gonna do it right now oh you should write some music together you can do it you can like record a whole uh voiceover or a song and then you can do it through like a type of software and they can have it right in the studio and record it edit it, mix it, all of that it's all about the editing that's true, wow

pretty cool shit really learning a lot here today Shane and I start to say the same things at the same time and it's getting freaky we're about to learn a lot more about each other because we're gonna play some never have i ever today i know the last time we played was with tommy and it felt like months ago yeah i think it was and we learned a lot months

ago yeah i feel like i know a lot about you but here we go oh you're gonna learn a lot see it's thinking about it like keith i feel like I know everything about you. Hold on, wait, what? Well, I mean, some of our content back in the day, I feel like we just put it all out there. I'll give you that. I'll give you that. I'll give you that. Occasionally, I see fans bring up a show with no name, and I'm like, damn, what a blast from the past.

Oh, yeah, we used to just sit on a couch and talk. Just talk. It was just a podcast. Just you two. Oh, yeah. We used to just sit on a couch and talk. Just talk. It was just a podcast. Just you two? No, everyone. Everyone. We would all, like, sometimes it would be me, Courtney, and Olivia. It was just interchangeable.

Different three people every time. And it was just a podcast, but it was just on Spongebob. I was watching. Courtney was showing us, like, old videos of you guys. What was the show that you guys were in When you were all sitting at this like Desk And you had the buzzer When you were lying

The shock game We watched that We should bring that back I asked us to bring it back We should play it here on the podcast I would be so glad to do it Although I hate to be shocked I was going to say you did not enjoy it I broke it I broke the shocker But I'm so down glad to do it, although I hate to be shocked. I was going to say, you did not enjoy it.

I know I broke it. I broke the shocker, but I'm so down to go for it now. Now, I'm not saying I might not break it again, but I'm down. I'm pretty sure the thing doesn't even work. I'm pretty sure it's just random. I would have been like you. I hate the anticipation. Yes.

Oh, my gosh. But it was a very funny video. It really sucks. So that's not the same as Show With No Name? No. Show With No Name was chill. What show is that one called? That was just the shock challenge. Shocker with Keith. Not with Keith.

Shocker with Keith. Shocker with Keith and friends. Yeah, it ran for one episode. It was huge. It was huge. It was a big deal. Oh my god. Yeah, we should do that. We'll bring that back here.

That'll be perfect for the podcast because that doesn't fit anywhere else on any of our channels. You could do it in Challenge Pit. For sure. I guess. Yeah. People like to see people in pain too. It's crazy. We don't do that type of stuff as much anymore. You know what I'll never do though? What? I never want to be involved

in like a period stimulator. Where they have these on shows. I did that for Challenge Pit. They like hook up guys to a period stimulator to get the same amount of cramps as a woman. And I'm like I don't want to go through it. I don't even want to watch this.

We did that like a year ago. We did it like a year ago on Challenge Pit. What? It was like a year, a year and a half ago. Yeah. And I got hooked up on all of it, right? And it was like from one to 10. I love that you're hooked up like this.

Well, it was on my stomach, right? Or abdomen, you know? And it was on like a low setting and they started it and I was immediately like, I hate this so much. Yeah. I don't believe it worked. It was awful. It was truly awful.

I don't want to go through it. I don't feel like watching you go through it. That doesn't make me go, yeah. The thumbnail is quite literally me hooked up to the thing like, oh! Yeah, it was brutal. I gotta watch it. It sucked. It was also such a unique, I've never experienced cramps in that region. It was a feeling I've never felt before. I watch it. It sucked. It was also such a unique, I've never experienced like cramps in that region.

So it was like a feeling I've never felt before. I hated it. But I've never been the type to be like, yeah, I could handle that. I'm that type. I can handle it. Let's do it, Keith. Let's do it on you.

Or I don't actually. Oh my God. Okay, so you know Keith very well, so you say. I think so. I mean, look, there's probably a plethora of things I don't know, but there's so many fun things I do know. I feel like to really know Keith, I'd have to go out with Keith.

Oh, for sure. Now that's fun. All night. For sure. We've talked about it before. Yeah. I don't know if we've talked about it here, or if Amanda knows. If we talked about it in the last episode, I think it's-

What, that you guys went out once? No, just one time. No, it's one of my favorite stories of all time. Could you please tell her, just let her know, like a fast, like a, it's really good.

You're talking about the Hennessy and Coke. Oh, I know about this. Oh, you know about it? Oh, yeah. You said it the last time he was here. I think our fans know.

I think they've heard this story. Yeah. You having Hennessy and Coke just makes me laugh so much. And I don't know how it appeared before me. And did you enjoy it? I did.

It was great. I was with Kurt Maloney. Yep. It was us both at a bar. I made them both get a Hennessy and Coke. And Shane and Kurt sitting there like, hmm, Hennessy and Coke. Joyful.

Yeah. This sure is delightful. Thanks, guys. And I was just on the side like, dumbasses are going to hurt me more. I know. I watched them drink that. I was like, the side like, dumbass, this is going to hurt me more. I know. I watched them drink that. I was like, good luck.

Good luck. It was good, man. Tastes like sweet, sweet, sweet. It was absolutely better than a whiskey and Coke. I was like, this makes more sense. I don't know about me and Hennessy. I personally just don't like sweet drinks. Like, I like gin straight.

Yeah. Oh, wow. So Hennessy's a little sweet. But maybe I like gin straight. Yeah. Oh, wow. So Hennessy's a little sweet, but maybe if it's mixed in something. Anyways. Like Coke. Not like it's offered to me right now. Coke is sweet.

We all just have Hennessy and Coke the whole cast. We like pull them out from under the table. It's like, so anyways. Anyways. That would be awesome. Yeah, but that was the best. It's early right now, actually. That wouldn't be.

It is not even 10 a.m. It's almost not even 10 a.m. I mean, I don't want to be judged if I want to drink at 9.30, you know? We're not going to judge you. Thank you. It'd be very funny. Plenty of bars open at 9 a.m. Really?

Or in Ireland. Yeah. That actually makes sense. Yeah. If it's a flat or a squeal, a wobble or peel, your tread's worn down or you need a new wheel, wherever you go, you can get a pro at Tread Experts. Conquer rugged terrain with on-road comfort. Until June 15th, receive up to $60 on a prepaid MasterCard when you purchase Kumo RoadVenture

AT52 tires. Find a Kumo Tread Experts dealer near at TreadExperts.ca slash locations. From tires to auto repair, we're always there. TreadExperts.ca Everyone's got a pro. Need tires? I've got a pro. Car making a weird sound?

I've got a pro. So who's that pro? The pros at TreadExperts. From tires to auto repair, Tread Experts is always there, helping you with Kumo tires you can trust. Until June 15th, receive up to $60 on a prepaid MasterCard when you purchase Kumo

RoadVenture AT52 tires. Find your pro at your local Tread Experts. From tires to auto repair, we're always there. TreadExperts.ca Discover the exciting action of BetMGM Casino. Check out a wide variety of table games with a live dealer or enjoy over 3,000 games to choose from like Cash Eruption, UFC Gold Blitz. Make instant deposits or same-day withdrawals.

Download the BetMGM Ontario app today. Visit BetMGM.com for terms and conditions. 19 plus to wager Ontario only. Please gamble responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an

operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. When you want to bet on sports, play it on a field or ice or course. BetRivers is the place. Over, under money lines. Same game, Paul A. gets all fine. You'll put a smile

on your face. Bet on the sports you love with BetRiver Sportsbook. Take a chance! Must be 19 plus. Available in Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact ConnectsOntario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge.

Do we want to kick this game off? Yeah, let's kick it off. All right. I don't want to go first. Can I go first since I'm the special guest? Of course. You're the special guest. We're doing five?

We'll start with five, yeah. We'll do several rounds. So the goal of this game is to get you guys out, right? Yeah. And you're playing two. I'm playing two. Yeah. All right.

So I'm just going to kick it off. Okay. Never have I ever been white. it off. Okay. Okay. Never have I ever Been white damn it. Okay You can put half maybe Just just It's very it's very hard to do one finger. Look, look at that. Naturally. Yes. Half. There we go.

Imagine this is all the way down, but this is what I can do. My fingers can't do that. I almost have to do two for that one. You have to do your whole hand. You're out. Shane, you're literally out, but get that Hennessy and Coke. Look, we might put a couple fingers back up. Maybe.

Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. If you're throwing that one out, Keith, then a couple fingers back up. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. If you're throwing that one out, Keith, then I've got this one. Never have I... I'm going to see if Amanda has... This will knock down Amanda, too. Never have I ever seen the movie Norbit.

Of course I have. You have? Yeah. That's great. I still haven't seen it. Really? I still haven't seen it. Shane, you need to see Norbit.

I love Eddie Murphy movies. I'm obsessed. Dr. Doolittle, Norbit. Well, yeah. I love Dr. Doolittle. Norbit. I love Dr. Doolittle. Norbit! Why can't I think of any other ones? I think she said...

Eddie Murphy. I love Eddie Murphy. I love Eddie Murphy movies. Pluto Nash. I've never seen that. Beverly Hills Cop. 100%. That's great.

That's good. That's good. Why am I missing some of... I don't know. Wait. There is such a good Eddie Murphy movie that no one fucking talks about. What is it called where he plays, again, I think two people. The actor, he's like really nerdy and he plays the actor.

Bowfinger. Thank you. Bowfinger. Bowfinger is so good. I haven't seen that in years. Yeah. It's really funny. Really funny movie.

Am I still putting my finger down for Eddie Murphy? For Norbit. Yeah. Yeah, okay. I still haven't seen it. Why? I don't know. I haven't gotten around to it. Shane, I honestly think you would appreciate it. It's Keith's favorite movie.

Could you do some homework tonight for me and watch it? Alright, I will watch Norbit. Courtney, we're going to have to turn off Vanderpump Rules and we're going to have to watch Norbit. We're watching Norbit tonight. Okay. God, mine are not as good. Okay. God, mine are not as good. Okay. Never have I ever peed standing up.

Girl, I sit down. And I love that. That's a real man. That is a real man. Sorry. Let me put my finger down. When you're outside, have you peed standing up? Yeah.

Keep sitting on the urinal. I don't like that visual. Wait a second, you can do that at home. Sitting on the urinal just peeing into the bathroom? I don't like that. Why do they have gel in a urinal? We don't have to get into that. You know when there's like gel, weird things in a urinal?

What is that for? Smell? I don't actually. Is it to clean You know when there's like gel, weird things in the urinal? What is that for? Smell? I don't actually. It's a clean. I think it's to clean the. So you sit on the half tub of the urinal? Yes, yes. I sit on the half tub.

Cute. Did you put a finger down? Yeah. I've got three down, so I'm losing right now. Yeah. That white one took you out. Never have I ever done the splits. Keith, you never have?

Do I look like I can do the splits? You could. I can't. If you stretch, boo, if you stretch, you could. Oh, I can't. Okay. I cannot do the splits. Yes.

Actually, that would be kind of cool. That's what I've always thought. It is really cool. And I remember when I got into it, I was like, oh, it's just from years of doing yoga and stretching. Yeah. Why was I so offended you asked if I could do the splits? I don't know. That's crazy.

Maybe there's a part of you that wants to do the splits. You're like, I'm not flexible. And you don't need to do this type of split where you're like straight forward. That's a really hard split. Do you know how to do that one? You're talking about the side split. I don't know. I did side splits. Aren't they called like straddles? Straddles.

Maybe I do want to learn how to I think you want to straddle. Maybe I want to straddle. I think you want to do a full dance. A full dance. A year later Keith is like come to my show. Jump on it.

Let's do it. That would be amazing. Oh, my God. Hold on. Is it my turn? Yeah, it's your turn. Oh, my God. I got to get a goat wolf for you guys.

Oh, my God. Guys. Okay. Never have I ever had my license. That's damn. You got me. Still to this day? Never.

Have you thought about it? I think about it every day. Have you practiced driving? Have you? I've practiced and practiced with me one time. Oh, really? Yeah. Well, he taught me a little bit.

Cool. He taught me everything I know. And he also wanted me to buy this old car from him. That makes sense. But it did not have air conditioning in it. No. Wait a second. You just, yeah, you can do this.

Just go get your permit. I don't think I want to. I think everybody else wants me to drive more than I want to, you know? Yeah. But it's certain things, okay, I'm going to be honest right now. I had an audition, a commercial audition the other day, right? Or this was a couple weeks ago. And it was for like Pizza Hut.

And in it, I had to learn how to drive. So I had to know how to drive. Rather, I had to know how to drive. Y'all, during auditions, you're going to lie on your resume. Just straight up. Of course you are. You know what I mean? Of course.

That's a rule. You know what I mean? So it's like you got to have a proper driver's license. I'm like, shit. But then they also wanted me to be able to play basketball. I like damn it's a double whammy let's see how this shit goes how many people ask me to play basketball i'm like just because i'm six feet doesn't mean i do it doesn't mean shit just because i'm black don't mean i can jump you know what i mean it's just that's not how it works so when i tell you i lied so hard and i was like i hope they don't

ask for a picture of my license what am i going to do I was going to make a fake license so I could get it Noah was going to teach me at this stage it's easier to learn how to drive than make a fake license but hold on guess who's going to teach me how to drive Noah the worst driver I freaking know I said Noah if I get this because I got a call back

y'all I had to go and play basketball in the y'all I had to play basketball it was the craziest audition of my life and Ian taught to go and play basketball in the y'all I have to play basket. It was so crazy And Ian taught you how to play I played and I actually like I can't jump a little bit When I tell you I was like, oh, oh I went between my legs. I was like, oh my god. Thank you God I think it just instinct bro. I'm black. There's something within us that we just have it. I got a lot of cousins. We used to shoot basketball back in my day.

You know what I mean? Back in my day, like you're 60. I feel like it. Wait a second. Did they ask you to drive, though? They said that you have to pull up in the car, so I have to act like it. I can act like I'm driving. Which car did you have?

In my head, I had a convertible. In your head, so you never did it. I never did it, but I had to know how to drive like it. I can act like I'm driving. Which car did you have? In my head, I had a convertible. In your head, so you never did it. I never did it, but I had to know how to drive. That's acting. Did you book the job? No. I got down, got the call back and everything. They laughed at me. I was talking to the director. I was like, oh, this is good. This was the first one I hoped I didn't get

because I was like, I'm going to really have to prove myself. If I'm going to learn how to drive from Noah, I'm... No, you're fucked. That's so well. He sucks. You're fucked. I was in a I'm going to really have to prove myself. And if I'm going to learn how to drive from Noah, like I'm... No, you're fucked. That's the will. He sucks. You're fucked. I was in a car with him yesterday.

I was like, bro, you actually suck at driving. He said, Keith, you don't even know how. I said, I know how better than you. No. When you are with a friend who's had their license forever and you fear for your literal life or your gripping, you're like, how have you made it this far? I don't know. You should stop driving. made it this far? I don't know.

You should stop driving. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. The crazy thing is maybe I'm insane because I'm always getting in the car with him. You know? Like maybe there's something wrong with me. I was getting in the car with my friend who I fear death every single time.

But I haven't yet. So it's fine. I mean, I've gotten into a few accidents with Noah. A few? A few, yes. He sucks. Oh my God. I believe it was my first day working at Smosh you guys got into. I wouldn't doubt it. I've never been the same.

I don't remember. Well, maybe that's why you don't want to drive. No, no. Trauma. Thank you for trying to help me, but I don't think at this point. Keith, I just, I think that you should drive. I don't think you need to, man. What if the end of the world happens and you need to drive?

I'll run. If the end of the world is happening, you don't need a license. That's true. That's true. There's no government. Thank you. There's literally nothing stopping you. Where are you driving to?

You know what I mean? If the end of the world is happening, where are you driving to? Yeah, exactly. I'm driving towards the comet. Get me the fuck out of here. I'm going to ride this thing. Oh, I was thinking like zombies. So once again, have you seen any zombie movie?

They drive to a new place and the zombies are there. That's so true. You get on a boat, you get to an island, the zombies are there. And zombies are usually really slow too. Yeah. That's so true. Well, on a boat, you get to an island, the zombies are there. And zombies are usually really slow, too. Yeah. That's so true. Well, it depends on what zombies you get. Depends on the strain of virus.

I guess if you've survived in L.A. without a car for this long, you're going to be fine. What's the point? What's the point? I mean, now what's the point? Unless you want to, like, drive up north. Want to drive up north? I've been learning how to float. Explain.

Yeah, you're going to need to go on. Some people drive. Some people walk. Some people crawl. I float. Go on. I can't. Shane, I float.

Talk to me. You float while you're walking? Gravity is not a thing with me. Oh, my God. I think you guys are hating on me. Cut to Keith in Porkchop just like. I float here if I don't ride with Noah. He's getting in the Goodyear blimp to get to work.

Never have I ever not floated. Not me. Wait. You don't have to answer. That's not one. Oh, okay. That's not for me. That's not one.

I'm like thinking about it. I'm like, I guess no. I have never floated before. Oh my god. Not in earnest. Crazy shit. Yeah. Wow, good for you, Keith. I flo like thinking about it. I'm like I guess no, I have never floated before. Not in earnest. Wow, good for you, Keith. I floated in water. Shane, that's not what we're talking about. Shane, that's not what we're talking about.

You're floating. I guess you never need to drive. I put my finger down for that. Yeah, I'm at one. I don't know how many I'm at. I kind of cheat. I think you're like have a lot left. You have three? You have three. Okay, thank you. Never have I ever slept in past noon. What the hell? I've never slept in past noon.

That's not fair. Eleven is, I think, the latest I ever slept in until... Shane, what's wrong with you? I wake up early, man. That's how I've always been. I think in college I've definitely slept past noon, like on a crazy night. Yeah. He probably slept past noon when he drank that Hennessy and Coke.

And he just doesn't remember. No, that's why I think my hangovers are always so bad because I do still wake up early and I just feel awful. Oh, I hate that. And I can't go back to sleep. That's terrible. It's awful. I'm supposed to keep drinking. You guys aren't doing it right.

Wake up and drink again. Can't. Can't. I've definitely slept past noon in college, but it's been a while since I've... I slept to 11 the other day, and I was like, I must be so tired. I literally can't.

I can't sleep. I don't sleep past nine ever. How late do you sleep until? It depends. I float. But I also am like, I'm a baby. I go to bed so early. I get so tired.

When I go to parties and I'm like, we're out late, I'll even stay up, but I'm like, I am so tired. You know, even babies stay up late. I think you're an old person. You're so right. You're so right. Babies are up. You old. You old.

That's true. Babies are always awake at like 3 a.m. You see? You're not. You're not right. Babies are up. You old. You old. That's true. Babies are always awake at like 3 a.m. You see? You're not. You're not. No. I would say, yeah, I would say I wake up at like 8 or... That's a good time.

9, but lately 7. That's great. See, I wake up like on a normal day, 5.45 or 6. Because you work out and shit, too. I go to the gym before i get here so we'll have like an 8 a.m call time which means i have to get up and go to the gym get back home get ready and get here whoa that's intense he's been doing it for years yeah well that's why you're just you just trained your i've gotten used to it yeah it's like my dad on vacation he's up at

4 a.m on his computer i do not know the know. The man's always like, I'm working. I'm like, Dad, what are you doing at 4 a.m. on your computer? Nothing's open. Okay, here's the thing. Here's what I love

about early mornings. And I've said this before. It's not that I like to wake up at 6 a.m. and like get going and like get my day started. What I love is to wake up at 6 a.m.

And to me, before like 8 a.m., nothing matters, right? Nobody's expecting anything of me. The world has not begun yet. So that time is truly time where I get to like relax and do whatever I want. It's where you catch the worm. The early bird catches the worm. Yes.

Yeah, I guess. But like for me, I'm like that's the time like playing video games first first thing in the morning at 6 a.m. is so tranquil and peaceful. It's awesome because you just wake up and you're like, yeah, I don't have to do anything right now. My day hasn't started yet. So I'm just up before. It almost feels like this exists in a vacuum. I'm in the matrix for this time. I'm kind of with you with that because like people aren't awake yet.

So you have that time. No one's bothering you. I will say when I can be up that early, I do love it. It's like journal time, pulling card time. And I think for other people, that time is like after 10 p.m., right? I think people get the same feeling for late at night

where it's like, okay, now this time doesn't matter. I'm not a night owl. See, I'm not a night owl. But I think the not a night owl but i think the feeling is the same i think the feeling is the same it's like here's the hours that are outside of the day where like this is my time and nobody can judge me for it yeah night owls are totally i know people that like my husband's definitely a night owl like he he could stay up until 3 a.m like he that's his time are you the same yeah i love to stay up when i'm up i love to sleep when i'm sleep i float when uh what's the latest you stayed up all night 7 a.m like yeah 6 a.m 7 a.m yeah i only pulled one all night see I need to go out with Keith. I don't know if I can physically.

We will have a ball. I don't know if I can physically because I feel like I'd fall asleep. But, like, it would be fun. It would be a lot of fun. Yeah. It would be a lot of fun. It would be a lot of fun. I've only pulled one all-nighter in my life, and it's not a fun, it's not, like, a cool story.

I was, like, 13, and my friends threw, like, a LAN party. I was like 13 and my friends threw like a LAN party. A what? A LAN party? What the hell? LAN, L-A-N. A LAN party. What's that? James knows what I'm talking about.

A LAN party? This is from back in the day when, before like internet connection was what it is now, where we went to a place where there was a bunch of computers that were all hooked up to each other. And me and my friends played video games all night. Like, truly all night. And, like, the sun rose, and we were all just still up gaming. And then, like, our parents came and picked us up, and we, like.

You were like, ah, mom. I truly was like, ah! It was awesome. What? But that's the only time. Because when I got older, like, I can't pull an all-nighter, like, drinking, because alcohol just puts me to sleep oh alcohol is like no it's like that for a bit and then like 1am hits and I'm just like Shane's body's just different it's just it's just built different

it's different I mean to put a bunch of computers together and play all night I don't know if that's something that I would want I guarantee you I I guarantee you, there's at least five people in this office today who have pulled an all-nighter at a LAN party. Wow. James has, right? Yeah. James has, Scott has. Okay, that's three in this room.

I know Ian probably has. There's got to be other dudes who have. We just call that a sleepover in girl terms. We just call that a sleepover. A LAN party is a specific thing. You gotta be a white- Well, when you're sleeping over, you're conjuring spirits, so I don't know what to say. The chances are higher.

You gotta be white. As of right now, three white guys in this room are all like, yeah, LAN parties. And Ian. Starting to see it through here, people. I think there's gonna be some comments, plenty of comments. People are gonna be like, I don't fit that that demo and I've been to a LAN party. Now, you have to probably be a millennial because LAN parties just haven't been a thing in a long time. Yeah, because I'm picturing big computers.

Yeah, it was back in the day. It was back in the day. This is like computers that are physically connected. Gateway 2000. Whereas like Trevor probably never had a LAN party because he's grown up in the era of just like the internet was what it is now. So he didn't need that. Yeah. You can just play with anyone anytime now.

But it used to be special to play video games with your friends. Oh, that's sweet. Yeah, it was very cool. Oh my gosh. Shout out to all the LAN parties. Yeah, shout out to the LAN parties. And shout out to my sleepover girlies who definitely summoned a demon and drank weird shit in the fridge and ran around the house naked. Oh, my God.

Sorry, what? What? Yeah. All right. Well, that sounds a little crazy. My turn. Yep. Never have I ever shaved my head.

That's awesome. Wow. Oh, my God. I've shaved my head. I never have shaved my head. Really? Wait, I've seen you with your head shaved. Yeah, yeah.

That to this day is one of my favorite moments in all of Smosh. What, you did it? You haven't seen this video. Smosh Winter Games? It was, was it Winter Games? I thought it was Summer Games. I did it a couple times. I shaved my head a couple different ways.

But you revealed it, like, in a video to everyone in a way that was just... Oh, yeah. I shaved half of my head. We called myself Old Man Keith. I gave myself, like, the George Jefferson. Yeah. Oh, wait. So you just had hair up here? No, I didn't have hair right there. It was on the sides. You had the Homer Simpson. No, no, no.

I had it on the whole time. Nobody knew. I think I only told, like, Noah, of course. And maybe, like, Joe. Because he drove me there. Yeah, he drove me there. Oh, my God. I was screaming for my life. But I ended up taking off my hat, and I kept that whole haircut the whole time. It aged me like 20 years.

Of course it did. For sure. That is not a good look. And then when you were bald, you was like shiny bald. Yes, for sure. For sure. It was incredible. So you bicked it?

Is that a term that you guys know? What? What is that? Maybe that's an East Coast term. When you, yeah, when you, yeah, like a zero is, you're calling bicking it. Okay, well, I bicked it. Hey! He bicked it.

I bicked it. Yes. Everyone knows what I'm talking about, right? No. Nobody ever knows. Big, big energy. Okay, good to know. I can't believe you've never shaved your head If I

I want to shave my head so bad Do it No, because I'm growing this out But you can also wear wigs You have the luxury of a wig No, it's true, it's true I can wear wigs I was thinking about it

When my hair was really, really short I was like, oh, fuck it I'll just shave it I'm certain still that like One, one day I'll be bald. Like, I think that'll happen. Really? Just someday. You know, I don't know when.

Someday. You have a lot of hair, though. Also has a big head. I do have a big head, so it might be cool. But I've always been very curious about what it would look like. Like, I think I'm like, I feel pretty good about it. I think it would look good. Yeah.

I think that you actually should do, like, a two, like a close cut. Interesting. I think it would look good. Yeah. I think that you actually should do like a two, like a close cut. Interesting. I think that would look really good. Like a buzz? Like a buzz cut. Yeah. You should go for it. You should go for it.

Not military buzz cut. No. Just like all the way. Why? Oh, you like that? Not the high and tight? Mm-hmm. That would be cool with like a nice mustache.

Yeah. Just full on cop. Whoa. That would be dope. I don't know how I feel about that. I support it. mustache. Yeah. Just full on cop. Whoa. That would be dope. Just full on. I don't know how I feel about that. I support it. Fine. Okay.

I support all that. All right, do it. I'm telling you, just go for it. You'll never know unless you go for it, Shane. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, Shane. My turn? Guy's going to shave his head. You can't rely on blind faith to get the pregnancy support you deserve. Ritual's Essential Prenatal Multivitamin is the only leading prenatal backed by its own human clinical trial.

Essential Prenatal is proven to deliver key nutrients, including folate, biotin, and vitamin D during pregnancy. Get 25% off when you visit ritual.com slash clinical. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Did you know that many products for pregnant women do not have their own clinical trials for safety or efficacy? That's because pregnant women are often excluded from clinical studies. Ritual is aiming to set a new standard with their essential prenatal multivitamin. It's the number one best-selling prenatal

and the only leading prenatal backed by its own human clinical trial. Essential prenatal is proven to deliver key nutrients, including folate, biotin, and vitamin D during pregnancy. Moms taking essential prenatal had a lower overall cortisol level during pregnancy than those taking a leading prenatal. Plus, it's designed to be gentle on the stomach. Ritual doesn't just have your back. They have the receipts. Get 25% off at ritual.com slash clinical. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Everyone is at one. Everyone's at one.

Don't look at them. Okay, I can't see. Oh, okay, I got a good one. Never have I ever made a to-do list. Oh. Really? You never have? All the time. Yes, and I knew that.

You guys are very organized. All the time. I have never in my life made a to-do list. Oh. Really? You never have? All the time. Yes. And I knew that. You guys are very organized. All the time. I have never in my life made a to-do list. I just keep it up here. Nope. And I forget everything I need to do. Exactly. Everything.

A to-do list, I'm like, here we go. Yep. You love a to-do list. I love it. I love a to-do list. Yep. I love it. Because I do to-do lists because I'm forgetful.

So I have to write stuff down. I'm forgetful too but I don't like it's all you just let it ride you're like well like I float dude I don't understand that there are so many people who do that who are like it's all up here and I'm like but you forget every single time but the thing is in your head you're like I'm not gonna forget but that's true forget you know see for me if i don't write it down it actually keeps me up at night like i'll be like i have to do that thing i have to remember but once i write it down rest well i hate the feeling i hate the feeling of remembering that i've forgotten to do something

and i'm i'm like when i when i'm when i go oh shoot i forgot to text that person back or oh shit i forgot to like take care of that thing or pay that bill now i hate that feeling that too so i i write it down so i don't have to ever feel that feeling. But you're like, but I still will not. But I won't. You're going to set a reminder to make a to-do list and forget. If someone gifted you a to-do list that was like really

cute, like to-do list and it had little hearts over it, would you use it? No, because it's all up in here. Good to know. I will throw away your gift. I'm just kidding. Why didn't you just ask me what I want? No, because it's all up in here. Okay. Yeah. Good to know. I will throw away your gift. Why didn't you just ask me what I want? No, I'm just kidding. Listen, you don't need a thing that says to-do list.

You just write it on any scrap of paper. I have scraps of paper all over the house. Garty's like, what is this? I'm like, it's my to-do list from last year. And I did it. I love to just, yeah, write them down on like a yellow pad. And then like eventually I just crumple it up and throw it at my cat. Wow, your poor cat.

He loves it. Does he? Yeah, man. Truly. If it's like something soft and whatever, you throw it at your cat, your cat's like. I don't understand the life that people live with cats because I watched cats and I was like up at night like what the fuck is happening i watched three cats like years ago and they were like yeah and then they were like doing muffins or whatever it's called on your body yeah they're like uh making biscuits yeah they were making a

fuck ton of biscuits all goddamn mysterious that that's what's fun about cats you just don't know what the fuck is going on ever no right they're not technically nocturnal, they're mysterious. That's what's fun about cats. You just don't know what the fuck is going on ever. They're nocturnal. Right? They're not technically nocturnal, but they're like dawn and dusk, like, types of predators. So, but they'll sometimes just be up whenever the fuck they want. Yeah. They're just weird. They don't have a schedule.

They sleep, I think it's like 17 hours. Here's the thing. I can appreciate cats. I'm kind of allergic to cats, but I can appreciate them. But I don't know if I would be able to live with one. How are you kind of allergic? Just a little bit, stiffly. I could come over to your house and be totally fine.

But if I spent four days there, I would be sneezing and itchy. See, I love cats and dogs. It's a totally different experience, though. Now, also, individually, every dog and cat has their own personality. Like, one of my cats is just fully a dog. Like, wants to play fetch, wants so much attention all the time. But our other cat is just actually a cat. He's like, don't touch me.

She doesn't mind that, but she's just very, like, can just be on her own and is, like, very skittish. Do they get along? Oh, yeah. They're brother and sister. Yeah, yeah. But some dogs are like a cat. Some dogs don't want to be touched. Oh, totally.

At all. But dogs are just so fun because, like, I feel like there's a much more, like, communication between humans and dogs. Like, we get it. Whereas with cats, you're sometimes like, I don't know what you're thinking, man. Exactly. I think cats, like, you know, they're a little haunted sometimes. You're like, I don't know what the hell is going on inside that head. They sometimes just act weird.

You're like, all right. I like to know what's in my house, you know? Same. You see what I'm saying? When you come in and you're like, where is it? Yeah, like, no, I don't want to be surprised. It is very funny when I walk in and I'm like, I don't know where my cats are. And I sometimes, like, go and I, like, look around for them.

I'm like, where are they? See, that would never happen with Porkchop. Porkchop like go and I like look around for them. I'm like, where are they? See, that would never happen with Porkchop. Porkchop is like, I've been at the door since you left. I know. Dogs make themselves known. Whereas also sometimes you'll just be,

you won't know where your cats are and you'll just be like at the kitchen counter and all of a sudden you'll turn and they're just there. Cause they're, they're so silent that you're suddenly just like, Oh, like boom, you're right behind me. I don't like that.

I grew up with cats, believe it or not. My mom was like a cat lady. We had an all gray cat. We called it Old Lady. Love that name. And we had a white cat named Fleece. Aw. Yeah, my mom loves naming cats.

But yeah, we had them and I appreciated them. But the older I've gotten, I like love dogs, you know. Me too. Porkchop is such a sweetheart. She's the best thing that happened to me. Truly. How old is Porkchop now? She's like 100 years old.

She's four. She'll be five. 100 years old. There's no way. She has so much energy. Yeah. That's my baby. She's so cute.

Did you guys just lose? We did just lose. Yeah, we lost. We just won the first round. Did you win? Yeah. We'll just keep going. Okay, let's keep going. She's so cute. Did you guys just lose? We did just lose. Yeah, we lost. We just won the first round. Did you win? Yeah. We'll just keep going. Okay, let's keep going.

Another round. You win, you'll see. You barely won. Barely. Barely, barely. Never have I ever watched True Crime for an entire day. I knew I'd get both of you. That's so messed up.

Look at us. That's so messed up. It's the best thing in the world. Do you still watch Forensic Files? I mean, I've get both of you. That's so messed up. Look at us. That's so messed up. It's the best thing in the world. Do you still watch Forensic Files? I mean, I've watched all the episodes. So whenever I go on a trip and I'm at a hotel, there's one channel that only has Forensic Files. I put it on the TV.

Are there new episodes of Forensic Files? They tried to do Forensic Files 2, but the guy who was the narrator of the first one, he's dead And they haven't solved his murder And that's it His voice was so great I could sleep to it For me it's the Unsolved Mysteries guy

The original I forget how it's I don't know how I could sleep to it too Does that make us crazy? Does that make us crazy? Huh? Does that make us crazy? No. But mine is First 48.

I think I've seen every single episode of the First 48. It is probably the harshest detective show. It is so brutal. Have you ever seen it? Yeah, my mom loves First 48. It is so brutal. Every episode is just like, yeah, he got away. No, no, no. Yeah, he did it like, yeah, he got away. No, no, no.

Yeah, he did it. No. And he got away. No, no. And the good guys lose again. No, they usually solve it. Here's why I like it so much is because they go into, they go like, they follow a lot of the detectives in their lifestyle. Which is like probably why I created Sarah Christ because a lot of them are single, and they have no time to go home and sleep.

Yeah, dude. They drink coffee and whiskey. I just want to know. I'm like, whoa, what is that like? Not good. Anyways. It's not good. So, yeah.

Shit. That's us. Yep. Have fun with that. I'm watching cartoons I can't Cartoons after a while makes me feel nuts Really

So if you're at a hotel You're trying to find true crime Forensic files Because me I'm in a hotel I immediately there's one show that I look for And it's Family Feud And it's always on yep, and it's incredible

There is no show. I think I have more fun watching than Family Feud It is fun. It can get cringe sometimes though. Oh and that's the best part It's like the one aunt who really sucks at the game and they're all just like It's always an aunt. It's always an aunt and she's at the end and you can tell they're just like we needed to bring a fifth person And she was all we had. She's all dressed up. They're all in matching aunt. It's always an aunt. And she's at the end. And you can tell they're just like, we needed to bring a fifth person. And she was all we had. She's all dressed up. They're all in matching shirts.

She's like, I'm here. And they're still like, good answer. Good answer. Yeah. No, totally. Good answer. Fucking bitch. Like saying the most insane shit you've ever heard in your life.

And they're like, yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, it's incredible. Harvey does a really great job on that show. He's so good. He's so funny. I think he's my favorite host of all time. Oh, really?

Because he's just so fucking funny with it. Like, the way he navigates everything is so good. Because, like, he catches those cringe moments. Like, people say something outrageous. And he always does the same thing. But it's funny every time where, like, a guy will be up there. And it'll be just like name something you'd never say to your wife

and it's just like he'd be like you sure you're gonna wear those or something and then he just does the like response and he's just like and he like walks off and he's just like you know she's right over there it's just so great I laugh every time see I like that that makes me feel comfortable

it's like watching Andy Cohen do reunions. Like, every time I watch him, I'm like, okay, I feel good about this. Because I don't usually like watching reunions. But I feel safe. Like, I like when the host, I don't know if they, like, diffuse the cringe. Or they just, like, play with the cringe and make it more grounded. I would say my two favorite hosts are Steve Harvey and Conan O'Brien for different reasons. Conan O'Brien is so good.

But Steve Harvey, when it comes to hosting a game show, he just does it so well and he elevates it. Family Feud works without that, but he makes it so much more fun. And he layers the moments and he recognizes moments so well. But Andy Cohen's great when it comes to drama. Hehmm like he's he's there to like really Harvey it's incredible what is his life what is his life he's from Ohio him with his five million suits so you guys know each other obviously because I oh yeah so small yeah uncle Steve yeah okay never have i ever had an online dating profile oh i haven't are you talking about like tinder and bumble stuff all of it bumble and tinder yeah oh yeah

you had one oh yeah i used what were your prompts what was your answer i don't know i don't think bumble had prompts back when i was using it. This was like before. That's Hinge you're thinking of. Can we find your profile? No, I think I deleted it. I deleted it forever ago. So you've never had... No, no. I'd rather meet in person.

Look, and here's the thing. I've actively said I don't really like them. I hate them. I don't like what dating apps have done to the psyche. And I mean, look, it works for some people. I'm not going to say... It totally does, yeah. Everything works for some people. I'm not going to say like everything works for some people. I just think the overall it's been bad.

And when I was on it, I stopped like I was single and deleted them all. And I was still single for a long time after because I didn't like how it was affecting me. Really? I was like, I didn't like it. Just like I'm like, oh, I started to to be like I don't like that I'm swiping On people just based on Just immediate thing

I don't like what that's doing to me And this is Morally you felt wrong Morally but I was also just like on a psychological level It's not necessarily that I think it's like Quote unquote wrong It's that I'm like I don't like How this is making me feel about,

um, like how I view other people and in my search for like finding someone. So none of them were cute. There's tons of cute, but it's just, but it's also just like, it's tough because it's a photo. And,

um, I'm also, I recognize at a certain point, I'm like, I'm such an introvert that like, I'm not going to meet someone through this way. Were people messaging you and you were chatting with them? Yeah, I went on several dates. Really?

Was that when we were back at Defy? Yeah, we were back at Defy. I do remember that era. I met some cool people, but it was just like, I also just without, I needed to know people first. And a first date is so tough when you really just don't have much. But it was just like I also just without like I needed to like know people first. Yeah. And like a first date is so tough when you really just don't have much. Because I just. Like to meet people in person.

Yeah. And there's so much that you get from like meeting people organically that it was hard through that. But it was, you know, yeah, I went on a couple. Like not much. Yeah. I want know yeah i went on a couple like not much yeah um i want to say i went on like two i do remember that era it was short-lived i was short-lived it was i was trying um but uh but yeah i don't know and i just i feel like i don't hear as much about dating apps nowadays i mean because everybody's on them everyone's on them yeah there's so many people who are on them who like i know are on them like a lot of my friends will be on them There's so many people who are on them Who like I know are on them

Like a lot of my friends will be on them They'll delete them Then they're on them They'll delete them And then they're like I'm back on them I feel like the ratio of people who Are in successful relationships From dating apps

When everyone is on dating apps Is like very low Hold on I will say The success rate is not very high One of my friends He's from Ohio His name's Benny. I'm going to shout Benny out.

I love when you shout out people. Benny's like my homeboy. He's like incredible guy. Right. He was going on dates on. I don't know if it was like Bumble or which one it was. But he was seeing some girls off the shit. And pretty much there was this one girl.

He was about to move to Thailand. Right. And he ended up meeting this girl and they're still seeing each other. Wow. They like actually love each other. Like it is the sweetest thing because she's so normal. She's like one of the boys when we all hang out. She comes, hangs out and she's like the sweetest. She'll text like if we're all hanging out together and she's not there.

She's like, usually he texts me just making sure you guys are good you know just like she's like the sweetest thing when she went to go visit him he was back in Ohio visiting family for a bit before he moved before he moves to Thailand and she ended up going to visit him and she ended up my birthday was around the time she was out there she was like hey I'm going to ohio do you want like a care package like she looks out for his friends like one of the best people that i met she's like wait is she from thailand no no no no he's going he's going to move but then you know they started yes he didn't move he hasn't moved yet i think he's gonna go for a bit but it's one of those situations where i'm like there is hope for dating sites 100 i'm not for it but like when i seen that for him i was like oh my god like this is hope for dating sites 100 I'm not for it but like when I seen that

for him I was like oh my god like this is beautiful to be fair you can meet someone through any means right like it's not that it's like oh it's impossible it's just I don't know I didn't like I was starting to like think about things I would never think about yeah because you start to be like oh you're assessing all this information and all these numbers and I'm like I don't care about any of this right um I just want to meet someone and have fun with them so I'm so I for me I recognized I was like this is good for me I'm just so interested I'm like so because so many people I know are on it so I'm so interested like how does it work because like I hear a lot of like bad stories about it but then I also hear like, you're like hanging out with this person for a while. Yeah.

Yeah. Did you know that many products for pregnant women do not have their own clinical trials for safety or efficacy? That's because pregnant women are often excluded from clinical studies. Ritual is aiming to set a new standard with their Essential Prenatal Multivitamin. It's the number one best-selling prenatal and the only leading prenatal backed by its own human clinical trial. Essential Prenatal is proven to deliver key nutrients, including folate, biotin, and vitamin D during pregnancy. Moms taking Essential Prenatal had a lower overall cortisol level during pregnancy than thoseoms taking essential prenatal had a lower overall cortisol level during pregnancy than those taking a leading prenatal. Plus, it's designed to be gentle on

the stomach. Ritual doesn't just have your back. They have the receipts. Get 25% off at ritual.com slash clinical. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Do it. People get bored, you know? Yeah. This is just social, social media. That's all it is, truly.

It's just another app, another something, something. Yeah. But that brings me to my next one. Put those fingers up. Yours are good. Yeah. I only have one down. I've got four left.

Well, you're going to both put a finger down because never have I ever been married. Damn. Yeah, put them fingers down. I'm not. Wait. I lied. Things have happened. It's been a crazy year.

No, I'm just kidding. But you were married. So weird. Yeah, I'm almost married two years. Which is crazy. Time is flying. We've been together almost ten. Damn. Damn. Ten fucking years. Time is flying. is flying we've been together almost 10 damn damn 10 fucking years

time is flying that is insane pretty cool yeah it's like i always i always thought that when you're with someone for that long you're like oh my god it must get like old and routine for me it's not because every year i'm like huh every year i'm like who huh? Every year I'm like, who are you? Whoa. Okay, that's interesting. Yeah, I love it. It's great. Hell yeah, dude. I love that. Fucking great.

Oh my God. I used to say getting married is for quitters. But you guys are making me feel like one day I do want to, you know. It has to be. It has. Honestly, it has to be a person. For me, I told H, I was like, the moment you say like you know i'm a simple man i just i i'm like that's that'll be the death of our marriage like just saying like let's do whatever

you want i'm a simple man blah blah i know some people want that but for me i don't enjoy that like he's always transforming always changing he's coming up with like that's what you don't think about when you're like younger and think about these people in these long relationships maybe because it was our generation and our parents and mine are divorced where you're just like oh my god this person never changes and it's like the same thing but for me i'm like that's not how i'm experiencing this long relationship that's beautiful every year is super different and new. Yeah, you gotta keep living. You gotta keep growing. Yeah, absolutely. That's beautiful.

I'm gonna get married today. I'm getting married today. Noah, will you drive me? Noah, drive me to my wedding. You gotta make it to the altar, Keith. Noah, drive me to my wedding. I just see you and Noah fucking friends forever and him fucking taking you around.

Fuck my partner. Noah's going to drive me. God damn. I didn't get married, but I got Noah. He's like. The thing is, Noah would be there too. I know. Noah truly would.

He's such a good friend. He really is. He's a ride or die. For sure. And I am too because I've been in that passenger seat and almost died so many times. So many times. God is good because I'm still here. Oh, my God.

At a certain point, God's going to be like, stop getting in that car. God's going to make I can't anymore with you guys. I literally can't. Oh, my God. He'll kind of push his acceleration up a little, a little bit. And he'll go and like press on the brake really fast.

And I'm like, oh my God, oh my God. And he's like, nope, not today. And I'm like, yeah, not today. Let's not do that today. God. Noah just cracks me the fuck up. He's different.

That is one friend of mine who I will say, sometimes I call him, I'll be watching something and you know, a certain topic will come up and I'll call him just to hear his take because his takes are so like, no one has his own way of like thinking.

He really has his own way of thinking. And I'm like, let me hear what he's going to say today. And he like, sometimes he starts out. So like, you know, so common and like just the way that everybody else thinks and he'll start

very grounded. And by the end, he will flip it else thinks and he'll start very grounded and by the end he will flip it on me and he will say some shit was like that's what i've been waiting for yep and he's consistent every time it's every time it's it's magic he just said like i'm just like wow your brain yeah how'd you come up with that he's like it's always been here. It's always been here. Oh, he's insane. He's crazy. Yeah. He's insane. That's my boy. I love it.

Fucking love it. I'm at three. I'm at four, I think. Okay. God damn it. Okay. All right. Never have I ever had a stranger ask to buy me a drink.

Oh, definitely. That's every day. I'm not an alcoholic, but that's every day. That's every day. I'm not an alcoholic, but that's every day. That's every day. I never have. It's actually kind of fun. Shane doesn't go out. Shane!

Here's the thing. I want Shane to go to a bar by himself and sit there. Did you hear how he said? What did he say? I go out. Hennessy is enjoyable. But I've also gone out a lot in my life and no, never. Really? But I've also gone out a lot in my life And no never I want you to just go to a bar by yourself

And read a book and I swear to god You are going to have someone buy you a drink Like today You at a bar with a book Are you kidding me Look at this boy he's just like I want to go to the loudest bar I want to be at a club just like reading a book

And they exist They're everywhere. When I was bartending, we always had that one guy who most women were like, who's that? He was always reading some book, either a historical fiction or a novel, and he was just sitting there

with a martini or a scotch and he's just, you know, looking around a little bit and he's sitting there and you're like, is everything okay? It's like, everything's okay. Instead of dating apps, that's what I should have done. I should have been at a bar reading a book. And the book is titled, like, How to Be Really Good at Fucking. And I'm there, and I'm just like, oh.

Shane, you would get a gallon of cocktails. Yeah. You would get. When we were behind the bar, literally, we would be like, get the mop. This one. Get the mop. Get the mop. We'd be like, man, I'm going to get the mop on seat four.

And I'd be like, yes, I see that. Get the mop is crazy. Because it was just like, it was just, if you had a book that said, how to be good at fucking, you would have six martinis in front of you. You'd just be like, thank you. And they'd be like, that's so crazy. What are you reading? You would have a choice to make.

Just some light reading. I don't know. I'm light reading. I don't know. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. Well. I mean, you're married now, but like. It worked out for me. Just for the experiment.

You know what? Courtney can be in a booth over there and watch you. Yeah. Just make it a video. Just make it a video. I would love nothing more. We're doing a little experiment today. Dude, when Garnet used to bartend, I used to sit a little experiment today dude when garda used to bartend i used to sit a

little far away and just sit with my little drink and be like and pretend that he wasn't my husband it was the best because people say shit around you that they don't know right and then like one time one time we worked together for like a month and i didn't tell i didn't say that we were dating or husband or anything. And it was so fun. It was so fun. Weren't people talking shit? People weren't really talking shit, but they were just like, oh, yeah, sometimes they would complain.

Sometimes they would be like, oh, blah, blah, blah. Sometimes they'd be like, oh, my God, that girl is just there just sitting at the bar talking to blah, blah, blah. Like, ugh, he's not even paying attention. And I was like, let me just go see. That bartender doesn't like you. Let me just see no i actually i liked it i enjoyed it it was so funny it's like a fun social experiment sure when you work in bars for so long i mean you just see every dating apps it's just like it's all there a reality show it's happening in one bar i love that i love a trashy reality show me too

anyways well just saying if you want to do that um i'll orchestrate it okay courtney will be there i cannot hold up my fingers look at this i think you're at three right okay this is true never have i ever called out sick because I was faking it. We've all done that. Like ever. Like even at school. That was school was like every Friday for me. See, I was like, my mom was so aggressive.

She was like, unless you're throwing up on your deathbed, you're going to school. My mom would have me sign the notes. She's like, Keith, are you going to school today? No, mom. Okay, sign my name. Wow. I don't think I ever did. I just wish, I wish for once. It was like some days you just didn't want to go.

Yeah. And like, but I never, so I think that carried on. So I always felt really guilty. I was like, I can't call out. But then it would be worse because then then you'd show up feeling not great. Yeah. Anyways. I don't think I ever did in school, but granted, I also didn't go to a physical high school.

Or here at Smosh. But here at Smosh, I don't think I ever have either. I definitely don't think I have. No. Okay. Well, that one was fun Oh never have I ever Sorry did you just fall asleep on me Did you just fall asleep on me

I gotta find a good one That's messed up We're here Sorry guys okay I got one Never have I ever been on a cruise. Shit. Unfortunately, I have. And that was recent that I got to go on one.

Your cruise was cool. That was sick. That was a sick opportunity. My cruise was interesting. Yeah. Oh, I think we talked about it here. My cruise was like, it was my first time. It wasn't my first time on a cruise.

I went on a cruise when I was a little kid. But as an adult, I felt pretty claustrophobic the whole time. I was just like Ugh. And the food. I think for me, I don't think cruises are just for me. Some people fucking love it. My dad loves it.

Mine was a week. Mine was in Alaska. Mine was three days, which was perfect. Three days is awesome. Get to experience it. Mine was three days, which was perfect. Three days is awesome. Get to experience it, get to get off, and you're done. Do you guys get motion sick at all? No, I don't. Well, you really don't,

but one day it was a bit stormy, so the boat was tipped for a long time one way and a long way, and I felt pretty sick. For me, I felt a little trapped like everywhere you went there were tons of people like loud ass music there was never any like quiet time for me and i need that sometimes to recharge and also like you couldn't get anywhere it took you forever there was so many fucking people yeah and like hot tub there was four hot tubs that sounds fun for like thousands of

people i think i was also with my niece and nephew and they were like diving into the hot tub and i was just like yeah well that sounds like yeah it's crazy you should go yeah i think i'm going i think you would enjoy i just get motion sick like even being in a car too long really i mean do a little patch of dremamine my my brother-in-law also he wore it every day really okay you put it on before you like every day there's a little tired yeah you can put it right oh i just know about the like pill form so you can put it right behind your ear as you start and you're totally fine you just feel a little tired that's fine you'll be fine i have a lot of energy so like you'll be fine i need a 12 i think that's'll be fine You would probably love it

You're also free If you do the package or whatever You can just go get drinks whenever you want Go get food whenever you want It was wild Can you guys put that together for me? We'll send you on a cruise I'll set up his bar date with his wife

And I'll set up the cruise And I'll set at the cruise. And also at the cruise with you. You want princess, you want Caribbean. Well, some of them are not so good. I think I would do Caribbean. I've heard of that one, right? Royal Caribbean.

Some of them are not so good. That's fine. Some people get sick. Okay, we've talked about driving. We've talked about boats. Never have I ever missed a flight. Shut up, Shane. You know I've missed flights. I absolutely have missed a flight. Not because, Shane. You know I've missed flights. I absolutely have missed a flight.

Not because of me. Not because of you. It doesn't matter. My mom is a legend of missing flights. Really? Oh, she fucking, it is her job to push it to the last minute. That's wild. She actually is stubborn as hell.

She'll be like, I'm not getting up there. I'm going to enjoy my food. I am not going to line up. And she'll miss shit. Oh, damn. One time we were drinking a margarita and she missed an entire flight. So you're at the airport. Yeah, 100%.

So you've already gone through the work of getting to the airport and then you missed the flight. Yeah, but I haven't missed a flight since. You've done that too? Yep, I've done that. I slept. Oh, you fell asleep at the airport and then missed a flight. Yep. No. That's rough. that's recent no this was

years ago this was back defy days for sure I've missed so many flights I mean even when we had to film in Sacramento every two weeks I was I missed some flights my favorite though was when you once time showed up a day early to a flight it It was actually on Easter. I went on a Sunday. It was Easter and I was like, why is my number not working? I was just trying to type it in. I'm like, 857-6588 BC. Keith sends us all a photo of him just like

just at the airport. That's awful. What did you do? I just went back home and then went to the airport the next day. I was going to say, I hope you didn't stay there. No, no, no. Went through the whole routine of getting up and going to the airport. I've done it a few times.

No, I refuse to miss a flight. I would just hate it. No, they're terrible. I haven't missed one. I mean, now that I'm not flying every time with my mom, but as a kid, my mom would take any deal as well. If you got bumped, she was like, we are not going. We're taking the money.

I mean, hey, there's been times where I've been tempted. Right. Like if I'm flying by myself and they're like, yeah, we're offering like a five hundred dollar thing. It's like, dude, like I did it once with H and it was super worth it. We got like vouchers and we were able to do like two other flights. Yeah. Sometimes if you're not in a rush, take it. Yeah.

But it's rare. Rare. That's wild. So when you're, when you guys miss the flight, is your mom the type that's like. She's super angry at everyone. She's been mad. She's like, well, somebody should have been on the clock. And you're like, you did this.

You literally just did this. And she's like, I don't know what we're going to do. It's always fantastic. No, my mom at the airport is not enjoyable. I would lose my mind. I love her so much. She's such a savvy traveler. And I love traveling with her.

But at the airport, oh, no. No. Bad. Bad, bad. She's just like, like when me and my sister went to Bolivia and we were young and I get it, she got stressed. But she was fine. Fine. Fine up until we crossed the security and she was like, I shouldn't be letting you girls do this.

What's happening? Do we have the right documents? Like she just loses. Does your mom draw attention from strangers at the airport? My daughters are going to Bolivia by themselves. I don't know if I'm making the right decision. I'm like, oh, my God. Oh, yeah.

This is probably why I hate movies like Meet the Parents or anything cringy. Because she's just one of those who just. Dude, people who, like who cause a scene at the airport are... Unfortunately, I love them. Yes. When I'm at the airport, this is me at my most toxic is if I'm at the airport and drama

breaks out, I am like, I need to find a seat closer to this. Not when you're in it. Not when I'm in it. Not when she screams girls constantly. I'm never in it. Not when I'm in it. Not when she screams girls constantly. I'm never in it. Girls! Girls! Girls, get your bags!

And you're just like, I don't know if the driver's going to show up. I booked it on eBay. I bet on this trip. My mom is just like, everything's like a bet. One time we went to Italy and the whole thing was on a bet. What do you mean? I can't even get on that. There's online where you can bet on trips.

She's a gambler. It's fine. I love your mom. You just get to a place and she's like, I don't know if we're going to get to this place. I don't know if it's real. But we're going to get there. Yeah. Holy shit.

I know. Maybe that's why I'm like trying to be too stable. Anyways, we can dig into that another time. I'm out. Never have I ever. You ready? Yeah, I'm ready. It's just a shame.

Fine with me. Yeah, you're out of it. I'm out. Never have I ever been out of the country. Really? You never have? I've never been out of the country. Honey, we got to get you to drive and we got to get you out of it. Yeah, I'm out. Never have I ever been out of the country. Really? You never have? I've never been out of the country. Honey, we gotta get you to drive and we gotta get you out of this country.

We gotta, we gotta. Where would you wanna go? Huh? Where would you wanna go? To hell. No. No, no. That's not out of the country.

You're here. You don't have to leave the country. Oh, oh, oh. I would wanna go to, I don't know, Mexico. Hell yeah. No, no, no. Like, truly. I would probably wanna go to somewhere don't know mexico hell yeah no no no like truly i would probably want to go to somewhere in south america my friend roland is there right now he's like actor i forget where he's at exactly but he's been like just traveling he like he's an actor and everything and he's like you know he's good so he was like you know what i just want to go and experience i love the world and he just

like packed all his shit up and left. And he's like, Keith, you got to come and visit me. I was like, got to get a passport first before I do that. Passport and a backpack. Yeah.

Like a good backpack. Yeah. So yeah, I've never been out of the country. I think I have one. I want to borrow one. Yeah. Yep.

I would appreciate that. But I have to get my passport first. You do. You do have to get your, you actually do. Yeah. It'd be funny if you went to another country and got your license there. That would be incredible.

If you learn how to drive on the left side of the road, that would be really funny. Okay, so we're both at one. Yep. Amanda, do you have any left? I feel like I could throw one out and just kill you. I don't know if this will get any of you. I wrote it down. Just give it a shot.

Okay, never have I ever walked in on a family member doing it. Oh, my God. I haven't. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm going to talk about this.

This is going to be a great story. Okay. I'm not going to go in details, but I'm going to give you a little something, something. So I remember I was playing with my race cars. I'm in my room. As one does. Yeah, I'm in my room and I'm playing my race cars and they're just like zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom.

Getting into it. And I decided to go to my parents' room. Yeah. I remember I opened that door and I seen what I seen. And when I seen what I seen, everything within me just left my body everything I was like what the and I ran I ran to my room to my race car so fast because I knew something was wrong something was wrong that what they were doing wasn't right I didn't like what I seen

I just knew it was wrong something within me uh-huh so I started playing my race cars of course it takes them a few minutes cuz they're like what do you know yeah and they saw you they saw me we saw each other so I started playing my race cars and they're going fast again and like that's how fast my mind's going at this point so I'm like oh my god and i remember my parents coming in of course they're clothed now they got on their clothes they're like keith like it's like now we need to kind of have the talk but i'm still like really young yeah like are you okay like what's what's wrong i did not talk to them for three hours y'all and a kid not talking to their parents

because they were wrong. They should not have been doing that. They should not have been doing that. Whatever they were doing. Nasties. I just knew they were wrong. Of course. When you're that young, it looks wrong. So I didn't talk to them for a few hours and I probably got hungry.

Hey, y'all, I need some food. What y'all got? Art are willing to put this past us if you give me some Apple Jacks. We can talk about that later. Holy shit. Did they bring it up when you were again? Not for real. I don't think any of us wanted to, but I remember talking about it when we were older.

You know, when I was older. Like a couple months ago. But that wasn't the only time. Damn! Holy shit. I knew it. I was like I Like a couple months ago. Yeah, but that wasn't the only time. Damn! Holy shit. Yep. I knew it. I was like, I hope this gets someone.

Yeah. Did that just make me lose, though? You lost. Yeah, you lost. I won. Shane won. But I won one. You won one.

Keith won. Shane won. I lost. Yes. Big time. That's right. I lost. Shout out to all the losers

out there. Yeah, baby. We're cool. We're floating. Keith, thanks for being here, man. We're cool. We're floating. Keith, thanks for being here, man. Absolutely. Missed you.

Yes. I'm glad to be here. Whenever you guys want to play the shot game, I'll come back again. Okay. Okay. I'm in. Let's do it. We're going to send Keith on a cruise.

And get his license. And my passport. And your passport. We're doing it all. Bye, guys. See you later. Bye. Bye. Bye. Did you know that many products for pregnant women do not have their own clinical trials for safety or efficacy?

That's because pregnant women are often excluded from clinical studies. Ritual is aiming to set a new standard with their Essential Prenatal Multivitamin. It's the number one best-selling prenatal and the only leading prenatal backed by its own human clinical trial. Essential Prenatal is proven to deliver key nutrients, including folate, biotin, and vitamin D during pregnancy. Moms taking Essential Prenatal had a lower overall cortisol level during pregnancy than those taking a leading prenatal. Thank you.