Smosh Mouth - #9 - Who Is The Biggest Nerd? w/ Damien Haas

Episode Date: August 21, 2023

Shayne and Amanda talk to Damien about how big of a nerd he is, DnD, and what their stats would be in real life. SUBSCRIBE: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshCast WEAR OUR JOKES: https://smosh.com WHO YOU SEE Shayne Topp // https://www.instagram.com/shaynetopp/ Damien Haas // https://www.instagram.com/damienhaas/ Amanda Lehan-Canto // https://www.instagram.com/filmingamanda/ FOLLOW US: TikTok: https://smo.sh/TikTok Snapchat: http://smo.sh/OnSnapchat Instagram: https://instagram.com/smosh Facebook: https://facebook.com/smosh Twitter: https://twitter.com/smosh Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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If you have questions or concerns about gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Before we start the show, we have a quick cool little announcement. We officially changed our name to Smosh Mouth. That's right. We did it.

A lot of hard work and determination. It's the same show, same time, same everything, but it's Smosh Mouth. So, anyways, bye! It's the same show, same time, same everything. Just a new name. It's Smosh Mouth. So. So. Anyways.

Bye. Bye. Boys, let's go. Yes. Hi, I'm Shane. Hi, I'm Amanda. And we have a special guest, Damien Haas. Here at the Smosh Mouth

Damien what up? Hey, what's up Shane? Happy to be here big fan of your stuff big fan of your stuff. Hey Amanda Happy to be here. Hey, how are you guys? I read the comments on the last video that we were all together and it was like I am your mom and you guys are two teenage friends in the basement So I'm gonna really bring that energy. Yeah, but except I'm gonna have a tray of snacks. Oh, I'm here for that. Maybe some Bloody Mary, just for me and my friends. I think that's less of a judgment on you and more the fact that Shane and I are children

and by comparison, anybody's gonna be like, wow, they're responsible. I don't think so. I think it was a straight, I think it's me. I think it's me, guys. I just, no, I don't think it's you. I don't think it's you. I think, maybe it's, you know what, maybe it's me I think it's me guys I I just no I don't think it's you I don't think it's you I think I think maybe it's you know what maybe it's the duo maybe it's it's it's that you and I are super immature and you are you are actually acting our age yeah I'm upstairs with

my girlfriends just talking mad shit about you god I can't wait till he moves out if any of us or do you ever experience this if you go to a different realm outside of just being YouTubers, being in this silly world that we're in? Do you feel like a little baby? Because I do feel like I, if I were to hang around people my age who are in the real world, as I would call it, I'd be like, holy shit. I'm a child. What do you do? I read Reddit stories and talk shit. Look at my LaCroix wall.

Hey, I got a LaCroix wall, watch out. So I try to not win Mario Party sometimes. It's so true though, oh my god, that's us. I think it's also more like, we're not immature so much as that we allow ourselves to be playful with each other. And sometimes when you meet someone who's in, to use your words, the real world, they don't have that playfulness there. And so you'll just try to be kind of goofy and silly in a way where you're like still mature, but you're like, wouldn't it be fun for us to talk

about this thing? Wouldn't it be fun to make this joke or play a video game? And they're just looking at you like, what are you talking about? Everything hurts. Everything hurts. Bring out the fart machine every day. and you're like, who was that? It's me with the remote. I'm like, people would probably be like. That's our job. It's like when I would do improv all the time, and I'd bring my boyfriend around, and he was like, I want to die. People would be like, what?

What? What? Oh, my God, you're so that character. What did you say? Inside joke. Your husband's like the most serious man, right? Is he really? Oh my god, you're so that character. What did you say? Inside joke. Your husband's like the most serious man, right? He is very. Actually, he's very goofy and silly and also a gamer, but no one really gets to see that side.

So he is a very serious man. Because society would judge that. If you're a silly, goofy gamer, we get a bad rap. Yeah, and he's also like 6'5", Belarusian. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a serious man. You know what's really funny is the two countries that I bring up most often, just if I have to randomly name a country, is Belarus and then Turks and Caicos.

And one of the first times we met, you were like, oh, I love Turks and Caicos. I've been there so many times. I'm like, blah, blah, blah, Belarus. And you're like, my husband is Belarus. Or you're my, yeah. We're connected. Right?

Oh my God, we are twin flames. It's our turn today, Amanda. It's our turn. Bye, Shane. Bye, baby. Your husband plays Diablo, right? Diablo. That's what he's big into?

That was his big birthday wish, that we would play Diablo together. How much did you play? It will happen. Okay. You have not played Diablo yet? No, no, no, no. Maybe next year, hon. It was his birthday five months ago, and I have not fulfilled his wish.

Maybe for the DLC. I played once, and I watched the opening video of the guy who's like, oh. Oh, it's so crazy. It's creepy. And then it's like, oh, the new Diablo, where he's connected to this. I watched the opening video of the guy who's like, oh, it's so crazy. It's creepy. And then it's like, oh, the new Diablo where he's connected to this. I watched it all. I was like, this is incredible. And then he's like, you ready to play?

And I was like, I'm good. I watched it. I'm chilling. Have you ever played any video games? Yeah. 007. 007. Grand Theft Auto.

Grand Theft Auto. Which Grand Theft Auto? Just one of them? Probably five. That one. The first one. I don't think it was the first one. double-a grant that's on a witch grand theft auto Just one of them That one the first one yeah, I don't think it was the first one I think I'm the last ten years probably number five all I know is I changed the radio stations and the music was 80s Okay, oh, oh could be by city by city. Oh, it was definitely by probably by Tony Hawk. Oh, hell. Yeah I played Tony. I played a lot of similarities. These are all pretty much the same.

Yeah, my sister and I would... Shut up. I see similarities. All these suck. Listen. Pretty mainstream. I just was not that type of chick. I was like outside talking to trees.

Okay. And I can't do that. I was a bright mind. You know, I was thinking about the universe. Yeah, got it. We were fine before. You're like, I like to go outside. Yeah, we get it.

Also, I'm an intelligent person with curiosity in my heart. Nothing against gamers. The first half of that had me, because I thought it was an insult at first. We were like, oh, see, I was outside. And we're like, yeah, talking to people. You socialize, and you're like, talking to trees. I was like, OK, good. You're weirder than us.

Yeah. You got outside, but you still failed. I am a big weirdo. I'm a big nerd. Hey. You think you're a nerd. I'm a gamer. I think I'm a big nerd. Hey. You think you're a nerd. I'm a gamer. I think I'm a nerd.

Who do you think, okay. I'm gonna ask you this question first. Who at this table do you think is the biggest nerd? Damien. Deadass. I'm wearing a Zelda shirt and a Final Fantasy necklace. But what is the definition of a nerd? Someone who falls deeply down the rabbit hole of hyper fixations that often involve pop culture Final Fantasy necklace. But what is the definition of a nerd?

Someone who falls deeply down the rabbit hole of hyper fixations that often involve pop culture or specific fandoms that maybe aren't as popular. Okay, it's Damien. Whatever just happened there, it's Damien. It's Damien. You guys answered the question? This guy's crazy. But I also feel like you can be a nerd too, Shane.

I'm a huge nerd. You're a nerd in a different sense. I feel like you can be a nerd too. I'm a huge nerd. You're a nerd in a different sense. I feel like you're a nerd about like TV shows and movies and things that you've just discovered

and you're like oh my god last night I watched this movie. I was supposed to end after last night and you were supposed to hop on.

That was easy. I don't know what I was gonna say. I was curious what I say. Last night I watched a movie. I will say you're the most bookish person I know, probably. Or at least you talk about it the most, by far.

Of the cast, I think I am probably the most obsessed with books. Kiana, the channel director of the Smosh Pit channel, Loves books. Reads so many books that I now feel like I don't read that much. Is it a competition? It's not a competition. I'm saying by comparison, I go,

oh, I thought I read a lot of books, but there's people out there like Kiana who read at least a book a week. At least, sometimes more. Their list is crazy. Wow. And I've met several people like that who are like, oh yeah, their list is crazy. Wow. And I've met several people like that who are like, oh yeah, I read 100 books last year.

My question is like, what are you running from? Shut up. Wow. Talk about judgment. Yeah, no. I'm outside talking to trees and you're making... That's what I'm going to start saying whenever someone has a huge accomplishment. Like, oh, I just ran a marathon. I'm like, that's cool.

What are you running from? Quite literally. That's a good one. Yeah, oh, I just ran a marathon. I'm like, that's cool. What are you running from? Quite literally. That's a good one. Quite literally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 100%. Nerd. No, because, like, I think if it was just between you and Kiana, we could get one of

those, like, elementary school little boards where you each get, like, a star for each, like, book that you read, and every 100 pages is, like, another star. And you can have, like, a little competition. I do have a spreadsheet. I have a Google Sheet that I started. Nerd city. I started it this year to keep track because so I used to collect

books. I loved like having a bookshelf full of books that I had read or that I was going to read. You're the beast. But it starts to take up. The problem was that I moved and I realized what a pain in the ass books are to move. And I was like, I'm not doing that again. I'm gonna get

rid of a bunch of these. I don't care about a lot of these books. A lot of them I didn't love. I just was keeping them. Wow, they have feelings. Well, fuck them. They gave. When you talk to them as trees. They were like, Shane, remember when you, ah, as you throw them away.

Shane, I think the ultimate power move for you is you are such a minimalist, but you do really keep track of your accomplishments in an interesting way. So like, hence spreadsheet. And I think that's really smart. I would like to propose to you a middle ground, where you do have a shelf full of things, but it's one Kindle for each book. And it's just, you can jam so many books on that shelf.

See, I tried to do the Kindle thing, I couldn't. It's not as satisfying. I need a physical book. Same. So I had to change that up too. But I wanted to change that up too. But I wanted to keep track because I do forget sometimes if I've read a book or not. So I need some way of knowing.

That's really nerdy. It is nerdy. In a great way. I think nerd gets a bad rep. I think nerd is a great word. Guys, I'm a nerd. I think it's great. I think in the modern day, you know, we have all grown up and seen that like,

sort of the world that was promised to us, like you're supposed to go to college and get married, then you're gonna be able to buy a house, good job, do it. Like, we're all sort of branching away from that in some capacity, just because the expectations aren't there and the reality of actually being able to pursue those things isn't always there.

So we find ourselves being fine with enjoying the things we grew up with. Like, if a grown ass adult likes Pokemon, it's not like, what? It's like, oh yeah, you like Pokemon. I remember. I did think that. But like, yeah.

There's nothing wrong with a grown ass adult liking Pokemon. I mean, I play video games. I stream three days a week and people are like, yeah, I have a job, I've never played Pikmin before. I'm like, well, come on down, let me show you what it's like. And we all just enjoy it together. Like, nerdiness is just us enjoying

what we wouldn't otherwise be allowed to be enjoying. I think, I'm curious if you felt the same way, but I had it in my head when I was younger that at a certain age, it would just all stop. I would have to stop enjoying and doing these things. Like, I loved video games. I loved, you know, cartoon shows. I loved all these things.

And I was like, but at a certain age, I'm going to be an adult, and I'm going to have to stop. And then you just kind of keep getting older, and it just kind of stays the same, and you're like, when was that supposed to happen? You're like, Mommy, can you bring me a Pop-Tart? I'm watching my cartoons. Your girlfriend's like, shh.

And then I shit into my diaper. And I. And I thought it was gonna stop, but it's still going. It's still going. Mom! This body pillow needs washing. There you go, yeah. No, I agree with you. And I think, to a certain extent,

there is some natural aspect of that. Like, when I was a kid, I loved Pokemon so much. And then a certain generation of Pokemon came out, and I was like, I don't if I'm going to do this one. I don't know if I'm going to do this one. Like, I'd moved on to something else and like, I didn't enjoy Pokemon as much anymore. And then as an adult, it sort of recaptured my attention. But I also think that we're in this very specific generation where we all, the media that was being made for us and adjacent generations sort of is aware of this transition that we're talking about. So like, you know, I didn't watch cartoons

as much anymore as a teenager. I mostly watched stuff like Comedy Central. But then I get to college and I turn on the TV and Adventure Time's on and I'm like, what is this? And I'm looking at it and I'm like, this is actually funny as hell. Is this Cartoon Network, is this for kids? I kind of love this.

And then I talked to someone about it and they were like, oh yeah, I know that show, I love that show. I'm like, boom, we're back to cartoons. And you got the Steven universe, Gravity Falls, Star vs. the Cartoon of Evil. Cartoon is cool again. It's great. You love Pokemon so much

that you sleep to Pokemon. Oh. Yes. Yes, so it's with. And Gengar and I are very in love. Sleep with Pokemon. So now I fuck them. So you've slept with Pokemon.

You love Pokemon so much. Fuck the ghost. No, so we were just talking about before the podcast, I downloaded Pokemon Sleep, which is the new app that tracks your sleep cycle through the guise of it

being a Pokemon game. It's really not. I was joking when I said who's the biggest nerd here. We knew. We knew that it was you. The answer. We knew it was you.

But thanks for giving me the spotlight and the benefit of the doubt. You're so welcome. Because I was trying to think of what I'm biggest nerd here. We knew. We knew that it was you. We knew it was you. But thanks for giving me the spotlight and the benefit of the doubt. You're so welcome because I was trying to think of what I'm a nerd about and there's a lot of things but it does not compare.

We'll get to that in a second, Amanda. You're like, I'm a nerd for the beach and outdoors. I'm like, I don't know if you know what a nerd is.

Oh, I love to cook and go on dates with my husband. You know, I love to, no, guys, you guys make me the mom. One second, we need to talk about

Pokemon Sleep. You guys make me the mom. I don't think it's, we need to talk about Pokemon Sleep. You guys make me the mom. I don't think it's... We need to talk about Pokemon Sleep really quick. Let's talk about Pokemon Sleep. Back to this. Back to you. What about it?

What's going on? How do you sleep when Pokemon is playing in your ear? Does it play the Pokemon Center theme all night? Yeah, so here's the deal. Basically, it's a regular sleep tracking app. It uses your microphone to sort of test if you're just like, they're like,

I hear him shuffling around. I think he's in this kind of sleep. And you're like, okay, he's in the middle of the deep stuff. And it'll show you a chart of where you were throughout the night.

But also, the incentive that they give you is if you sleep more through the night and it's more quality sleep, more Pokemon show up in the morning. They're like,

oh, look who came to take a nap in the morning. You have a Pikachu now, because he was here napping, isn't that neat? So it's barely a game, but the one thing about it is, you can choose to have it play music while you're sleeping. You may not play your own music. They have one option.

It's the Pokemon Center theme song of the like, do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do but it's like very tingly lullaby like, do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do, but it's like very tinkly lullaby like, do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do. Bing, bing, bing, bing. That sounds like my nightmare. It's bad. So I think they play it for like an hour and a half

before they stop, and my ADHD meds were not wearing off last night. My heart was like pounding at three in the morning. So I got three and a half hours of sleep, so I can tell you exactly how long I played that damn song. What'd you catch? Did you get any Pokemon? Did you catch them all?

These hands. It's like you get a Weedle, idiot. Yeah, no, it was not a good night. I think I got. Because you didn't catch anything? Did you get any Pokemon? Did you catch them all? These hands. It's like you get a Weedle, idiot. No, it was not a good night. I think I got... Because you didn't catch anything? See, that sucks that if then you're having a bad night and you don't sleep, you wake up and this app is like, sucks, man. You didn't get anything this game.

You didn't get anything. Well, different things show up. To the best of my knowledge, different things show up depending on the quality of sleep and the length of sleep. So because I tend to sleep pretty poorly when I'm on my ADHD meds, still a worthy trade-off. I'll just get the same stuff over and over again. They're like, oh, another Caterpie. But

I'm pretty stacked. I mean, in my little party right there, I got a Mareep. I got a Larvitar. I got a Slowpoke. Toga-P. Amanda, you get it. I get the Larvitar for sure. This is the one I want, Amanda.

This is all I need. She's so cute. Oh, she is. That's not Chansey, though. Chansey and Blissy have been my favorites since I was a kid. She is out in a universe that I'm not sure she's going to walk by you. I don't know. What does that mean?

She seems, I relate to her. Yeah, so you wouldn't walk by me. What are you saying? I don't want to walk by someone who's just asleep. I want to walk by someone who's awake and ready to chat and hang out. You know what's really cool about this? She also looks like she's flying. She could be.

You know what's really cool about this one, Amanda? This is a Pokemon. And for those of you at home, if you're listening to audio, this is Chansey or Blissey. This Pokemon is all about healing. It's all about friendship. If it finds an injured Pokemon in the wild, it gives them a hug and feeds them an egg until they're healed. Are you injured?

Emotionally, yeah, always. Okay, well, maybe Blissey can't see that. Maybe she only sees actual injured, and she's like, you know what? I need to take space for me right now, and I need to fly, and I can't give everything to these emotional beings. I think I'd be horrified if I was injured in the woods,

and this round, pink creature stumbles up and takes out an egg from its body and is like, sup dude, you look hurt, eat this egg. And you're like, no thanks, I'm vegan. It's just like, you're gonna eat this egg. I made it for you. Guys, what's her voice? Because I picture that she's light and airy.

It's like, Chancy. Hello, it's Blissy. How's it going, I'm Chancy. Yeah, the chain smoke, it's smoked eggs. It's deviled eggs. All right, eat this fucking egg, dude. That's hilarious. All right, real quick. It's like, Chansey! Hello, it's Blissy. How's it going? I'm Chansey. Yeah, the chain smoking. It's smoked eggs. It's deviled eggs. Eat this fucking egg, dude. That's hilarious.

All right, real quick. It's all yolk. What's up? Real quick, Amanda. Yeah. You have to be a nerd about something. I bet you are. Isn't it Lord of the Rings?

Don't you love Lord of the Rings? Do you love Lord of the Rings? I'm obsessed with Lord of the Rings. Okay, there you go. I mean, look at my ring. Oh, Lord. It looks very... You have it.

Is that the Silmarillion? I also got Married on May the Fourth Be With You. I love Star Wars. I love Lord of the Rings. Did you do that on purpose? I did it kinda. Also not kinda. There's other meanings to it.

But you were stoked when you found out it was May the Fourth. Yeah. Okay, okay. What? Yeah. You're right. You got plenty of nerd stuff. I think that's pretty mainstream.

I'm also really an intense film nerd. I watch the same movies over and over and over. The Croods? To see, not the Croods. No. Sorry, that's an inside joke between Shane and I. Now you know how your husband feels when you improv. Oh my god! Now you get it.

You guys need to get in the basement. I just came down with my martini. Get in the basement! I just came down with my martini to try to connect with you guys. And goddammit. Well, okay, those are nerdy. And god damn it. Well, okay. Those are nerdy.

And what we really wanted to talk about today, because I'm sure plenty of our viewers are watching it. And Amanda, you and I are now for the first time in our lives in a Dungeons & Dragons campaign. On the Smosh Games channel. It's been going for a few weeks now. And it's about to start going week to week. We're about to finally start uploading episodes. He's like, ooh yeah, I'm excited for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We wanted to do it a little bit sooner because I had sort of run that by people and I was like, hey, I want the hype to continue building. I've seen a lot of comments of people being like, you know, I really wanna see this a little bit more often. And I was like, I think we can do it. And I hit up Spencer and he was like, and this was like the week before we filmed our last batch.

And he was like, yeah, totally. Can you have three episodes ready on Wednesday? And I was like. It's Monday. Yeah, I was like, I have two in the pocket. I don't think I can. I don't know. No.

So we're going to start that next time. I can't wait because I, Damien and I have chatted about this. I have like always been a, I don't know if it's a secret nerd, but when I started playing D&D, I was like, It's just improv. I literally felt my heart explode. I was like, oh my God, elves, improv, the forest,

hanging out with my friends. I was like, this is what I've been born to do. I love it. You do get lost in it. And my favorite thing, and I don't know if it makes it into the episodes, is when you get lost and you start telling the whole story for a second, it's the best. It's actually really fun.

Sure Damien loves that. I'll literally go deep into the story and I'm like, and then gas falls out and then all the trees, and then he's like, well, hold on. That's the difficult like, well, hold on. Hold on. That's the difficult thing, Amanda, because as your friend and as someone who's enjoying playing with you,

I love that and I will take that over the alternative because you wanna give so much and you're seeing so much and you wanna help tell the story. The difficult thing is like, that we do have the roles of who has to tell what. So you can say whatever you want about yourself, but you would do this thing where you're like, I hit the guy, and you, Shane, are looking at me in shock,

and this other guy's like, you can't get past here. And I was like, I will. And he's like, no. And then the earth crumbles, and the stars explode. I'm just flipping through my sheets like, uh. I know. So the gate man has a quest for you, actually. I know. I literally get so uh. I know. So the gate man has a quest for you, actually. I know, I know.

I literally get so deep. I love it. You guys just become the creatures, and then I'm like, and then, and then I'm like, oh my god, Amanda, you are not outside, you are not with the trees, you are here on camera with adults, and you are not the dungeon master, okay?

You are Dolores. But that's okay, too. But I don't want to be the dungeon master. I? You're Dolores. But that's okay too. But I don't wanna be the dungeon master. I just get so carried away because I see all these little things happening in my imagination and then I just, I nerd out. I love that. Speaking of being the dungeon master,

I never thought I would have that role. I was very nervous and I still have a lot of imposter syndrome with that because I have so many friends. It wasn't until recently that I really sat down and thought about it and I was very nervous and I still have a lot of imposter syndrome with that because I have so many friends, it wasn't until recently that I really sat down and thought about it and I was like, oh wait, I've been playing D&D since middle school. Like I have nothing to be embarrassed about

in terms of like, oh I'm not worthy. But people care so much about this fandom and in this space that I just want to give it the respect it's due and I have so many friends who are like, I'm a DM and I have crafted's due. And I have so many friends who are like, I'm a DM and I have crafted a world. Like come pop by my game, you don't have to know all this stuff,

but here's a 50 page document of the world I made. With all the gods and the lands and the different factions and the different planets and it's like all these amazing things. And I see how much respect goes into it that I was just like, I was flippin' terrified. And even now, we're filming this right before I go to Gen Con, which is a board game convention,

and before Sword AF was even announced, I was signed on to be a guest for like five or six live D&D shows at this convention. And it's, I really can't wait, and I'm so excited, I'm building out my characters now for these games, but like, even then, I'm just, I'm nervous, because so many people there are like, there are people who literally work for D&D

that are gonna be in these games, and people who are like, hey, we're playing from this D&D book that I wrote that's been published. Like, I'm just like, ooh. Just remember us, okay? Just remember Dolores, just remember Fernie, just remember our faces being like, DM, we love you. You know what I mean?

We believe in you, Damien. We believe in you, Damien. You got this. And they're like, Damien, it's been your turn for 10 minutes. I was like, drooling onto the table. Just like, Amanda, shame. No, y'all have been super supportive. It has to be. That's why I feel like it's scary also to be a nerd, too,

because you feel like it's so inclusive. People are like, well, we're bigger nerds than you. And it's like, can't we all just be nerds? You know, I think there is this interesting dichotomy when it comes to nerddom because people, there are the people out there who want to accept and invite everybody in. I'm super down, if someone's like,

I've only played one Pokemon game, I'm like, you love Pokemon, that's great. Or I don't know Fire Emblem, I've only played a couple rounds. I'm like, you love Pokemon, that's great. Like, or I don't know Fire Emblem, I've only played like a couple rounds. I'm like, enjoy it, you love your thing, that's fine. But like, I think some people who grew up during the time of like nerdiness being an extremely bad thing,

they only found solace. What's that? They wear it as honor. They wear it as honor. They only found solace in those things. They're like, this is my thing. And then when they see someone who they would, you know, traditionally consider mainstream enjoying it,

they're just like, no, this is what separates me now. You know? I get that, I do get that. I totally understand. I don't love the way they take it out on people, though. But I still wanna play D&D. You should, no one should ever get, I've even heard like, the reception to our show

was so phenomenal when it first came out. And I'd heard rumblings of some other people in the space being like, they even, what's, hmm, D what's D&D for, it's a cash grab, or something like that, and I was just like, whatever man. Like, what can I do? Yeah, it has been literally overwhelmingly positive. I saw like, literally it's a handful of comments compared to Out of thousands.

Thousands of everyone being so stoked, and it's been so cool. But I did see some being like, yeah, do they have experience, they don't seem to be experienced. And I was, and my thought and what I would want to communicate to people is like, I've wanted to play D and D for a long time. I've talked to you about wanting to play it for so long and I've just never

had the opportunity because I've never had the right, like, uh, never really had the time or the space or the right circumstances outside of here to do it. So honestly, playing it here in this format is the only way right now in my life where I could play it.

And honestly, when I hear about people playing it outside of here, the stories that I hear the most about how hard it is to organize it and to consistently do it. I'm sure. I've missed two months in a row of my personal game. Oh my goodness. Yeah, in fact, Chance is the only person I've ever heard of

who has a consistent game going where they legitimately do it. Like, Chance has been playing D&D for years. And he's like, yeah, we meet every week. See, I love that. I'm like, damn. I never thought D&D would ever be in the reach for me. Ever, ever, ever, ever. I'm so glad it is.

I literally, D&D in my mind was like a little room where the doors are shut and they're like, no girls allowed. And they're just like playing with their things and I had to be like, hey, and they're like, shut up. And I'm like, uh, what? That's how I always saw D&D is like this closed in. And then when I tell people, I'm like,

oh yeah, I'm playing D&D, they're like, funny, hilarious. They're not upset, but they're just like, no you're not. And I'm like, well, yeah, I am, my name is Dolores Paradise, which, if you ever knew a little thing about Dolores Paradise, that was my old piano teacher's name. Really?

What? That was my old piano teacher's name. Is the character similar to this piano teacher? Um was old and horny. Thick thighs, always. Did back flips. Kinda, a little bit. She had, she was, I loved her so much but she had really rigid boundaries. Like she wasn't like a hugger, but she had big curly black hair, big skirt, tons of rings. And she smelled like patchouli, like 100% patchouli. And I met this, I saw when I was bartending, there was this girl who popped up to the bar and I was like, and I got like my piano teacher. And I went up to her and was like, you smell like my piano teacher.

And she was like, you smell like my piano teacher. You smell like my old, horny piano teacher. What do I do with that? She was like, thanks, I guess. And I was like, Amanda, shut up. What do you want me to say? Shut up. What do you think I should say to you now? No, literally, I say the stupidest shit.

It's fine. And I'm like, you smell like my piano teacher. No, no, no, it's a good thing. Ask me, what are you wearing? She was like, patchouli. I was like, that's totally my piano teacher. She's like an older, wonderful woman. Gross, stinky.

No, she was the best woman ever. And this was like an homage to her. Oh, that's really great. That's very special. She was amazing. It is funny, going back, like, people's reactions. It is strange what I thought D&D was going to be and what I've assumed it is.

And I know a lot about it, and I've watched plenty of Dimension 20, and so I knew what it was eventually. But so many people I talk to who aren't in the space, it has such a weird reputation. Yeah. That people assume that it's the most hardcore, in-depth, technical thing

when it's been so much simpler than I was expecting. Where I'm like, it's dice and I have a sheet with my character and his stats. That's it. We were playing Betrayal Legacy before we got into D&D and that is the most complicated game I've probably ever played. We were playing Betrayal Legacy before we got into D&D, and that is the most complicated game I've probably ever played.

Everybody knows that I struggled with that game. That game was so hard. I want to applaud both of you all for getting through it, because it's sort of what opened the door to letting both the audience and the higher-ups know that we can do a longer series and have people buy into it if it's character based on games. But I also want to say about your experience there, I'm sorry to hear that that's sort of how things have been viewed in the past.

Because I think that's historically how D&D has been a lot of the times for a lot of people. But I also think that D&D can be whatever you want it to be. The level of intensity that you're describing and that you're describing is a thing. There are a lot of people who are like,

hey, we're going to do this by the book. You have to think about how much weight you're carrying that's going to affect things. I think that's great, though. That's fun. For those people, that's awesome. For me, that sounds a little bit much, and it's a little bit hard to get people in there

because I think one of the best things you can bring into D&D, even as a complete beginner, is like improv experience is golden. Like you can make this a slightly structured improv game and have it be fantastic. And you two are both, our whole cast is so good at this. I love our improv so deeply. It's so, episodes three and four at the time of filming this are about to go up. And that was our last batch that we filmed right before the show actually premiered. So everything beyond that is us learning from things and even more than that, I'm like, for five and six,

I wanted to give y'all opportunities to just talk to each other and improv and grow your characters. And I've had so many people, even people who work as professionals for like major D&D companies that are like friends of mine, say like, I can't believe it's most of their first time. Like this is unbelievable. Like the level at which y'all are playing and telling stories is just so high

because you're just having fun. That's awesome. I guess it's just because of all the other stuff that we do and have done here at Slosh has really lent to it. You don't know the numbers and the spells, but everything else that D&D is, you bring in plenty of experience.

Right, I think a lot of it is like, we had Betrayal Legacy, we worked out a lot of kinks, and we also played off of each other, and I do think the improv allows us to just like, open the door and be like, so silly with each other, and we're discovering our characters even more by playing the improv, like Dolores and Bug, Bug and Fernie, like Coda,. Like, Dolores and Bug. Bug and Fernie.

Like, Coda. Coda and Dolores. Like, we're all having these, like, really cool back and forths. And Fernie is just... And I'm just there. No. Hanging out.

Fernie just comes in and says what's going on, the obvious, and then busts through a wall. I love it. I'm curious what episode, because we're recording this podcast a couple weeks in the past from when you are love it. I'm curious what episode, because we're recording this podcast a couple weeks in the past from when you are watching it. Episode 3 is going up in two days. But I think

by the time this episode comes out, we might be... They'll all be out. I don't know about all of them. I don't know, but for those watching, a lot's happening, or a lot is about to happen in D&D, and it's getting to a really exciting place. You've obviously, and I know this because we do get into your backstory in these episodes that we have.

Did you ponder on your character's backstory a lot? Yeah. Is there any that you rejected? I like to think of sometimes just really stupid shit for my character. Just what ways to ruin this whole campaign? Haven't done it yet. I mean, to be honest, like, I don't think I realized how horny Dolores was. I think that was a discovery. But I was kind of thinking of I did have a back story

that I was thinking about I think less that I chatted with you about but like I was kind of going on the mean girl stepmom vibe where it's like she's been cheated on and she's out for revenge and it was more going to be like that rich woman stepmom

kind of like chip on her shoulder but then she finds herself and I was like I'm not going down that road. Sure, sure. But the horniness I guess that little part stayed with me because I literally was talking and all the fan art is like Dolores in horny jail

and I'm like what did I do? Is that okay? Half of that I'll take blame for because I think we yes anded each other really hard right there where like you met Gunthar and I was like, Gunthar like tall, rippling, like tan skin, abs, long black hair and you went, that, you did that. I was just in. You did that thing.

And so I was just like, oh this is funny, we're gonna play off this a little bit. He's gonna be oblivious and you're gonna be super interested and then I was just like, well what if you are presented with someone who's super interested but they're like a frog person? And so I'm just like, this, what if you are presented with someone who's super interested, but they're like a frog person? And so I'm just like, this will be fun to sort of throw at you and be like,

where are your actual interests lie? Yeah, I loved that because that's, now I've taken all the backstories that I kind of didn't go with, and I've taken little pieces from them, and then figured out my backstory. But I definitely had some weird 90s movie stepmom. I'm like, what, no.

But you have to throw as much out there as possible to see what sticks. And pretty early on, I had met with everybody to just solidify their characters, and I didn't wanna inundate anyone with anything too fast. But there was basic, start thinking about your background. We're not gonna, in the first couple episodes be like this is me and this is my dark past

and this is all I did, but like as we continued on, like for this last batch, I sent specific, like specific, not like coach, I guess kind of like coaching emails to everybody being like, all right, so this is who you are as like a background, like you are a warforged, what does that mean for you? How do you fit into the world? What does that mean for the way you interact with things? Like how are you different? Okay, well you're also, you're a warforged. What does that mean for you? How do you fit into the world? What does that mean for the way you interact with things?

Like how are you different? Okay, well you're also, you're a warlock. So what does that mean? How does a warlock get their powers? And what does that mean for your beliefs? And thick thighs, dummy, thick thighs. So, you know, I was like, hey, you're also a halfling, which is, you know, they don't ever wanna see anyone

come under harm, so how does A go to B? And you know, I'd maybe toss a couple ideas at you, you'd toss a couple ideas back, we'd work out something. I'd be like, you need a demonic patron of some kind. The thing that gave you your power is, let's work out what this means. And you ended up, we tried to come up with a name, you came up with one that has meaning to you,

I adjusted it a bit, and then we're like, all right, this is what it is. And for you too, we were sitting at the desk and tossing ideas back and forth, and it's like, what if this means that? Or what if this is tied to this? And slowly but surely we build it together. And y'all,

I'm just sort of like doing little scoots and y'all are making this stuff really meaningful for yourself. Can I, but you must've had a backstory that was dumb. He did. Yeah. So Fernie is a, is a wooden,

wooden giant, wooden robot. So what if maybe his dad was a pine tree and his mom was an Amazon Alexa? And that's how that all happened. How did they hook up? Did she plug in to his roots? Must have plugged into his roots.

Something funny that I've noticed, because I see fan art of our characters, which has actually been the coolest thing for me. And I've always appreciated and thought it's cool when people make fan art of us as people. But something about characters that we created, getting fan art is so flattering and fun. But I love seeing fan art of our characters. And then I see fan art of other Dungeons and Dragons shows on YouTube and everyone else's are like really hot, sexy.

Hot, sexy, ripped. Tall, they're all like over six foot, slender, hot people. And then us is like a goblin, a weird robot. And I'm like horny Dolores with her two braids. Like apples. And then Chance's character fits the mold. Yeah, I was like, bless Chance. Chance. And then Chance's character fits the mold. Chance is hot.

And then Coda, Chance's character's hot as fuck. Chance's character for me is like, that's sort of the point of Chance's character, at least from a story perspective, where he is the traditional D&D character. Like he has his moments of goofiness where he fits in with y'all, but he's the handsome, young,

Aladrin elf person of the Feywilds. We need that. Absolutely, and he's experienced enough to do it. And I actually talked to him before this last batch, and I explained that to him. I'm like, hey, I've been focusing a little bit more on the newer people because I've been needing your help to carry things on in a D&D perspective.

Now it's your time to shine. So we have a couple moments in these next episodes that I'm like, we're really focusing on Coda. But like, he's fully aware of that. And it's, it's really great. And I think the, oh, sorry. No, no, go on, go on. I was gonna say, I think going back to the fan art thing, like, my biggest moments of pride are like, you've been doing this for a long time, Shane, just in the Smosh realm. And obviously, it's special when people acknowledge you in any way. But a lot of people do things for the Chosen, and the Dumpster Wizard, and yourself, and any character you play.

And so seeing specifically your Amanda, and Angela's and Chance's reactions to seeing their characters get so much fan art and love, and Bug is getting a lot of love from the audience too. Seeing that joy makes me so proud. I'm so happy. I love it so much. I also love the animated little videos

of what we said back and forth, and they animated it. I was like. Yeah, so cool. Fernie and Angela's character Bug have an interaction in one of the episodes that we shot recently that I think, I don't know if it's out yet. If it is, you know the interaction I'm talking about.

Oh, I do. And I'm extremely excited to see it. That won't be out yet, I don't i don't think you don't think so okay then there's a moment coming yeah and it's so funny because there's so many other things that are going on that's like really serious if i'm thinking about the same moment that it's just like i feel like naturally we find the seriousness of the episode mixed in with like the silly, ridiculous stuff. You've got to, yeah. You have to. Where I still catch that I'm like, oh, I'm still new to this is

when we get into lore, and specifically when you and Chance will have moments. You had a moment, and it's such a great moment. I was still very enticed and very captivated. But you get very deep into like the lore of like Chance's character and the Eladrin and all this stuff,

and you're talking about all these things, and I'm like, that's awesome, I have no idea what that means. But I still understood the stakes. That's not, the world that we described for that is something that is, Chance and I worked on together, but a lot of it comes from a character that he's playing in his main campaign and sort of how things are set up there.

So we bounced ideas back and forth, but the world that he's sort of from is not from the D&D books. You guys created that yourselves. I think that's just them, yeah, they made up that. That's really cool. Just how we made your god, just how you're making all your different circumstances.

The thing is, if we try to nail what things are supposed to be, we're not going to do it. Yeah. Right. We're just not going to do it. Of course. Because that's too much stress for me. Like, I want to have fun, too, you know?

So I'm like, this would be fun. It sounds like it works in the world. You know what I'm very curious about? And I could just easily look. But I'm always curious what's behind. I've still never seen, like, what's behind the board, the DM, your fortress. I'm always so curious what that looks like. I don't know why I haven't.

I peeked, because you're too far away. I saw you peeking. Shut up. The last time we were playing, you were there, and I just see Amanda like this. Yeah. Sometimes Angela. Just looking.

Because I wanted to see what the creature was, and he was trying to describe it. And I was like, yeah, it's right there. Someone did link me something on TikTok where there is a DM screen that has space for a tablet in front. So you can just be like, this is a beast thing. And you press the button

and all of a sudden the rest of your players can see it. It's just Jarvis. It's like Iron Man. Exactly. I wish we could see the beast because when you were describing that, one of the beasts. Cockatrice.

Yeah, a cockatrice. I was like, oh. Spoiler alert, there's a cockatrice coming. I was like, oh shit, that looks so cool. And then I was like, oh my God a cockatrice coming I was like oh shit that looks so cool and then I was like oh my god Amanda like it's just so hard for me

you know when you play like card games and you you have to look over my eyes do naturally wander over I will say Angela sometimes

peeks back at y'all which is nice but usually she's pretty locked in on the game screen I look at Angela sometimes Angela participates in the game this is I look at Angela. Sometimes Angela participates in the game. This is Angela.

It's so funny. Yeah, so Bug, yeah, so Bug, Bug, Bug, Bug. Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, okay. I don't know why that's my Angela impression. So Bug does this thing where he's like, you know, she, you know, and then Bug, and that's what Angela does. I've watched the whole world.

I love it. She's so animated. Little Italian goblin. Yeah. Yeah, you can say it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's a little Italian. I allow it. You get it in the past.

That's why she's so good. Her character is Joe Pesci. I mean, in the Eat It or Yeet It episode when she was Joe Pesci, I was like, you're literally Joe Pesci right now. And Garrett was like, it's Italian. I was like, Garrett. Also, I learned this recently.

I think it's been in some videos. Angela does a very good Christopher Walken impression. I saw that. Does she really? Very good. That's hard to do, because that's one of those that everyone's like, oh, I can do a Christopher Walken. I can do, um. Oh, I can do Christopher Walken impression. I saw that! Does she really? Very good. That's hard to do, because that's one of those that everyone's like, oh I can do a Christopher Walken,

I can do, um. Oh I can do Christopher Walken. Hey, how's it going? Yeah, I can do Jar Jar Binks. I was with you when she did that, and you were like, oh shit. Damn, really solid. Angela is incredible.

She's a psycho. Full on psycho. We love her. Psycho that is incredible. Full on psycho. Psycho, that is incredible. Amanda. Yes. We've filmed a few episodes of D&D at this point. Do you think you could ever,

do you think you could ever be a dungeon master? Yeah. You think so? I feel like I would, but here's how I would want to do it, is I would want to stop, because I swear I have four jobs right now how I would want to do it is I would want to like stop because I swear I have like four jobs right now. I'd want to stop a lot of things so I could literally hone in on it and get so intense about it. Like I feel like I would be so intense about it.

Like that's why I love that like some DMs, you know, including yourself, is like really intense about like the roles and everything specific. And you said the weight or something like that? Oh yeah, they call it encumbrance. Something like that. Like when I watch Critical Role, I'm like, there's a part of me that's like envious of that dude. I'm like, I kind of love that. You know what you should do?

What? Well, no, no, I want to hear your pitch first. Or what were you going to say first? I was just going to say, I think for, especially being in a space where we're doing this in a performative way, not just for us, um, you know, we're putting out this content for people. My main goal is for it to be authentic in terms of what are we enjoying and going to have fun with.

So I like, I love, you know, hyper fixating on things, falling down the rabbit hole of learning everything about a subject. But I was like, we mostly as a group haven't earned that. You know, like if I show up and try to drop all this lore on y'all and like all these numbers, I'm gonna lose you, I'm gonna lose the audience. And it's frankly just more fun for me to just do it. I think down the road when we just become hyper into this

and our audience is like on board, you know, we've done a few seasons of whatever this ends up being and you know, we decide to do one really intense one we'll get there yeah no i i i love where we're at and i feel like i would have so much fun like playing with the people but there's a part of me that's like if i were to be a dm i would want to stop everything and like live eat breathe sleep dm like is there like a dm like sleeping thing that i can put on that's not Pokemon? I don't know what the music would be. And I'm just rolling in my sleep, like D20.

That's another thing too. I might get obsessed. You should be a dice goblin. A dice goblin? What is that? So you buy yourself one set of dice and you're like, these are really nice dice, I like this. Then a little bit later you're like, well my character kinda went. I like this. And a little bit later, you're like,

well, my character kind of went through some changes and I don't feel like this represents her anymore. I need some more dice. And then all of a sudden, you just have a bunch of dice. Oh, God. You have so many dice, Amanda. I do love dice.

I do, too. They're gorgeous. Dice are incredible looking. I found some incredible ones the other day and they're like $65 for a set. And I was like, I can't justify this right now. I'm just not gonna do it. Well, when we went to RTX,

there were dice that smelled amazing. What? They smelled like cinnamon. You're gonna cover it up with Dorito dust real quick. Real question. I have a question for you guys. This wasn't the question I was gonna ask earlier. I'm gonna get to that in a second.

First real question. Great. How much trouble would I be in if I rolled a D20 at a craps table in Vegas? And what are my odds? Honestly. They'd probably be fine with it

because I would just roll a 20 and they'd be like, all right, you give us all your money. Yeah, right. You're never coming back to the Bellagio again. Is that if the Chosen went to Vegas and was like

I'm gonna bet some money and then he was just like and then he rolls a D20 and he's like shoot that's not what I wanted. Shit. And your mom's like

honey we have to go. It's time for roulette. I brought my lucky marbles. He throws all of them out there. Crazy bones? He just has crazy bones? I love that.

Crazy bones. Oh yeah. Literally.? I love that. Crazy bones. Oh, yeah. Literally, yeah. Roll the bones. I like Jennifer Coolidge. I like it, though. I don't know. Amanda, what would it be like if The Chosen brought Yu-Gi-Oh! cards to the blackjack table?

Go on. Totally. So Yu-Gi-Oh! cards is this fun thing about Yogi Masters. And they have a cool alternative world. And they live near Mars, but it's like a little pocket of Mars and they fight with fingers and swords. I was just setting you up

to do the voice again. But that's okay. Oh. There are Yu-Gi-Oh! makes Dungeons and Dragons look like football to me. Like Yu-Gi-Oh!

I don't know what you guys. Yu-Gi-Oh! is so much nerdier. It's like a Pokemon card game. And I played Yu-Gi-Oh! when I was a kid. Same. But when we tried to play it we tried to play it recently like a year or so ago. And I played Yu-Gi-Oh! when I was a kid. Same. But when we tried to play it, we tried to play it recently, like a year or so ago.

And I was like, this has gotten so nuts that I have no idea what's going on. They had to change the very nature of the game to get it to work, right? Because I don't know why, but I literally thought of this this morning. I think I was on like a Yu-Gi-Oh! TikTok or something. But like the strongest card in the game, pretty much, or like one of the most accessible and strong cards in the game, they released it in that first set. It's Blue Eyes White Dragon. It's like this big strong dragon thing.

And it's not too hard to get out on the field and it does really well. And then every set they released after that had a cool new card that came out. It was like, whoa, this is the rare one for this batch. And it wouldn't be better than Blue Eyes White Dragon. So I'm like, yeah, how do you get people to buy new cards? Like who cares? And so eventually they just changed up the rules of the game and it wouldn't be better than Blue Eyes White Dragon. So I'm like, yeah, how do you get people to buy new cards?

Like, who cares? And so eventually they just changed up the rules of the game where like it just works in a completely different way. I'm like, oh, that's how. Because we're all just doing crazy bananas. See, maybe I can't be a DM because I was. No, that's Yu-Gi-Oh, you're fine. I went into like a whole, would you be a DM?

I think I would love to do it. Now, I am intimidated by a lot of the technicalities of it, I see, but I love telling stories. I love creating worlds in my head. Yeah. But a pitch for you, but I wanna hear what you would wanna, what would your story wanna be? I think it'd be so fun to do one that's super grounded,

like just a real life rules, like the magic is very, like finding the real world equivalent of the magic. Like, um, there is the kids on bikes play system where it is, where you kind of find the real world equivalent where there's, there's magical influences in the world. But imagine a small town murder mystery with like slight elements of magic in

it. Are you serious? That is like my literal, my literal dream is to, like I watched Black Mirror, right? The recent Black Mirror of the paparazzi. I don't want to do any spoilers, but there's like,

it's very, very grounded until the end. They're supernatural. Cool. Sorry, that is kind of a spoiler. I'm never going to watch it now. Whatever. But I would love to be a DM in like a Sarah Christ world because I think that would be so fun.

There's like things going on. There's this show that I'm obsessed with. It's called Black Spot. It's French and it's on Netflix. And I'm obsessed with it. They only had two seasons. It's about a mime. It's literally.

But he chain smokes, right? And that's it. It's silent. It's black and white. He never says anything. Nothing happens. It's literally a detective, a detective like story. and that's it it's silent it's black and white he never says anything nothing happens it's literally a detective a detective

like story like everything I love about a female detective but there is a a horned god that lives in the forest that is taking people so there's magic

and detective so literally you touched on everything I love I would love to be a DM in that world where there's like people have magic powers, but it's like there's like secrets in the town. It's more about secrets in the town that's like grounded. What's that? Did you ever read anything by Neil Gaiman? No.

He's like my favorite author, but everything he does is like it's I would almost call it like magical realism. We're like there's most of the stuff is grounded. And then all of a sudden it'll be like, here, follow me. And he walks through the store and it's like i don't remember there being a door there and there's almost this moment of like oh you would love american gods actually that would be your book because you should watch have you not watched sandman on netflix i have sandman's incredible i have you know i thought it was a little too ethereal slow then read american gods i was like oh i love Oh, I love Sandman.

I do too. I loved it so much. He walks out, he walks out looking and he's like, I'm the Sandman. That's Jon Snow. Dude, when he walks out

and every scene with Sandman where he's talking, he's like, I found that I heard it. And I'm like, what? What are you saying, man? You want to know

I need to find my helmet. Dude! That was my former sleep app where he's just whispering to you. That was so good. That's how I felt like when I was watching it. I was just like, okay, let's pick the pace up. It's a great graphic novel, though, too.

One of my mods for my Twitch streams, I ended up working with him and was very sweet, very sweetly did this, knows that I'm like a huge fan of Neil Gaiman. So they reached out to his office and was like, hey, do you have any stuff you could give? And so I have an actual autographed print from the Sandman where it's of Death,

the Sandman's sister. And that's like my favorite character. Well it's the illustration from the graphic novel, but the actress does an incredible job. Isn't it the woman from Game of Thrones? Maybe, I don't know. I don't know, no, no, no, you're thinking of Lucifer, played by Gwendolyn Christie. Yes, Gwendolyn Christie. We're the same height, probably.

She's pretty tall. Actually, no, I think she's like 6'5". I always say you're the Brienne of Tarth of Smosh games. Oh, I don't want to be her. She's like the best character. I don't want to be her. What do you want to be, Amanda? You don't want to be the mom, you don't want to be Brienne of Tarth. Guys, I want to be her. So much for being the mom of the podcast. I don't want to be her. What do you want to be, Amanda? You don't want to be the mom. You don't want to be Brianna Farr.

Because, come on. Guys, I want to be many different things. But I don't want to be her because all she does is like she stands by her ground and then she falls in love with the Nikolai guy. That's from the show. Whatever, man. The books are better. I don't know who I want to be.

You guys talk about reading so much. Here's a book for you. Tell me. Read American Gods. Okay, I'll read American Gods. If you guys watch Black Spot on Netflix. Okay, sure. I'll definitely do that.

No, you won't. I'll tell you all about it. No, you won't. It's French. So it's this French movie. She's a mime, but there's a demon. And she chain smokes. She chain smokes.

She is one of the two chain smokers, but you have to guess which one. I would love to see a mime chain smoking. Go to France. Say that. I think you could go to France. I think you could just do that at any time. Hey, if you really want to see a mime chain smoking. Go to France. Say that. I think you could go to France. I think you could just do that at any time. Hey, if you really want to see a mime James smoke, I've got good news for you.

Are you sitting down? Well, stand the fuck up and walk to France. Great. Not today. I had a dumb question that I had thought of before this. Love it. So back to D&D. So our characters, they have like,

you have like a sheet. For anyone who's not played D&D, you have a sheet it has all your stats it's like wisdom intelligence strength perception

what are what do you think our stats are in real life do you ever think this way because I've talked to you about this

in the past how sometimes and I'm pointing for those of you not watching I'm pointing at Damien directly my finger's getting

very close to his face this is an intervention I am making contact with his, I'm pointing at Damien. Directly like that. Directly. My finger's getting very close to his face. This is an intervention. I am making contact with his nose. You don't do enough substances. I'm booping his nose. I do sometimes think about this stuff. It's a very nerdy thing that I do. I'm like, what are my stats?

What would the numbers be? While you're pondering that, may I give the tomato test to the audience? The tomato test? Yeah. Vano? Yeah. So when people don't know the stats, this is how it's described,

and I always get this wrong in some capacity, but here's how you know what the stats are. Do you like tomatoes? Do you like tomatoes? Or any nightshades, really. Yes, I do in summer. Okay, so the tomato test is strength, how far you can throw a tomato.

Dexterity, how accurately you can throw a tomato. Intelligence. Knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom. Knowing that it doesn't belong in a fruit salad. Charisma. Selling someone a tomato or convincing them that it's an apple. And then what's the last one?

Nature. Greg, what's the last one? Arc? Greg, what's the last one? Arcane? Nope. That was five, right? There should be six. Dexterity. That's our god. It's five? It's only five stats? Wow.

I'm the dumbest man I know. Pretty cool. I'll take over from here. I did Constitution. Thank cool. I'll take over from here. I did Constitution. Thank you. But there's also tons of smaller subcategories like Arcane and everything. Yeah. That also you can count.

So those are like proficiencies. Sure. Where it's like what your character's into. But stats are just basically who you are as a person. So let's think about that. Stats in real life. Yeah. Oh, intelligence, Constitution, wisdom, charisma, dexterity, strength.

I did do sex. That's so weird. What are you doing with your constitution? Oh, constitution is, can you eat a rotten tomato and still be fine? Got it. Can you? Kind of like, yeah. I want to throw this, let's ponder this and talk about it,

but I also want people in the comments to put what they think our stats are. Okay. I'm very curious. Are you changing our stats or you're giving us numbers for those, specifically for us? Yeah, as people. Like charisma. If we had to make a statement for Amanda. Oh.

What are your stats in real life? What categories are like, okay, that would be where I'd excel in. What's the highest number that I can give for a stat? Something that would be pretty bad where you're actually negatively impacted would be like an eight, that's as low as it'll go. If you happen to really max yourself out and get yourself some really smart playing with your stats,

you can get some up to 17, but that's pretty rare. So like, you know. We don't have to do the exact numbers, I'm just saying where do you think like, oh, I would excel here, here, and here. If we do one through 10, I would say that you would excel, Shane, you know. We don't have to do the exact numbers. I'm just saying where do you think like, oh, I would excel here, here, and here. I would say that you would excel, Shane, at charisma. Okay.

Okay. I don't know if I feel that that's where my character would. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Go ahead. Okay.

Go ahead. Okay. Okay. Strength. Yeah, I'd put your strength at about like 14, 14 or 15, where you're like really strong, but you're not like about to lift a truck. I think constitution might be a little bit low.

Like I feel like you'd probably eat a rotten tomato. I don't know, see, I think I can handle shit. Shane, you can smell a beer and then fall down. See. I'm sorry, I love you to death, but the constitution's low. I'm like, is that hops? This is the thing. This is the thing, we don't, like this is how I love you to death but the constitution's low this is the thing this is how I see you

that's fair that's hate that's fair what's the other one dexterity so we got dexterity which is like accuracy being nimble and dodgy

intelligence is low wisdom is street smarts charisma is damn low intelligence it's medium

I'd say medium high you know know what, this is just bad. I'm gonna go back upstairs with my friends. And we're gonna just finish our martinis and you boys have fun because I just can't anymore. Elizagirth hasn't seen White Lotus. Amanda, I was gonna say you would excel at all of them. Really? Yeah, why don't you go?

You're putting the onus on us. Okay. I was thinking more of us doing it for ourselves. Okay, shit. Oh, shit. And... No you weren't. Yeah, why don't you go? You're putting the onus on us. Okay. I was thinking more of us doing it for ourselves. Okay, shit. Oh, shit. That's okay. No, let's do that.

What do you think? That's also okay. No, I actually had a thought. Because I wanted to say this about both of you. I feel like, Amanda, I think you would rely more on wisdom. I'm not saying you don't have intelligence. I'll say it. No.

Very wise. Thank you. I think you would choose to follow your wisdom over your intelligence. Definitely. And Damien, I would say the flip side of that.

I think you're... Definitely. You have wisdom, but I think you tend to use your logic. You would choose to use your logic and situation as opposed to wisdom in most situations.

And I think I'd maybe fall in between. Like where I might start to get into it. That's why I said medium. Yeah. I know you. I also said charisma and you didn't think so. I don't think I would have, I think you would have the highest charisma of us three.

So in how I explained it before and what charisma generally is, I'd say you have high charisma. But I think in terms of D&D stuff, that also involves things like deception and intimidation and stuff like that. Just working with people. And I think in terms of D&D stuff, that also involves things like deception and intimidation and stuff like that, just working with people. And I think while you would excel

and just being kind and good at performance, I also think you would be pretty rough at like, you wouldn't want to deceive. You wouldn't want to intimidate. So I'd put that like, you'd be like a 12. I don't lie too often because I'm bad at it. If I could get away with it. You still wouldn't do it. I still wouldn't do it. because I'm bad at it. If I could get away with it.

You still wouldn't do it. I still wouldn't do it. I feel very guilty about it. But, yeah. I could intimidate for sure. I don't, I personally really don't like lying. It eats me up inside. But intimidating?

Definitely. Oh, yeah. I could fucking destroy someone with my eyes. You worked at a restaurant for years. You, you, you've been in it. I also lived in Boston. Oh, yeah. There you a restaurant for years. You, you, you've been in it. I also lived in Boston. Oh, yeah. There you go.

Where men were like, hey, you fucking bitch. I'm like, come over here and say that to my face. I remember when the Boston. Okay, okay, I'm going. When the Boston came out and my husband, we were just beginning to date, and he was like, oh, oh my God. Oh my God. Like, let's go down to Callie's and get some roast beef.

Go back here, bitch. Get a lobster roll. He was six foot five Belarusian. I got you. I got you. Oh my god. Let's go down to Cali's. It's a roast beef Kelly's is not my favorite place. Yeah, but they got roast beef so much. I'm so curious Is it I'm not very curious for people to write out our stats write them out and write out what our spells would be, too Yeah, write out what our spells would be. I'm excited about that. Greater dipshit. Dumbass. Mom's spell. It would be scream. Mine would be scream. Summon mommy. Call my mom. Call me mom.

Should I do myself, or do you want to? Go ahead. I want to hear what you think, man. I could give you some. You are the DM. We should have thrown the question at you. Yeah. That's okay. Too late now. Why don't you guys, but you know. You are the DM. We should have thrown the question at you. Yeah. That's okay. Too late now.

Why don't you guys judge me? Okay. Well, it worked out really well with me and Shane. Let's see. I think intelligence 100% over wisdom. Okay. Dexterity is what?

How you... Just being dodgy and able to like accurately pinpoint things. I think I'd say your dexterity wouldn't be bad though because your reflexes your dexterity wouldn't be bad though because your reflexes are crazy.

It wouldn't be bad. I feel like your charisma, huh, I struggle with that because it's like deception. A lot of people struggle with that. I don't know about deception, but you also can convince people. You're very convincing the way that you present yourself

and how you present like a subject or something. I think it's relatively good. I think Charisma's pretty good. What's the other one? Constitution. Constitution I think would be very high. What's Constitution again? Actually, Constitution is like

how many hits you can take basically, but people are like, can you survive a rotten tomato? But really it's, you know, it's can you take a beating? Actually, I don't know about constitution. I think my constitution would be pretty low, actually. Just because I'm fine now, but I used to have a lot of stomach issues, and I don't drink, and whenever I did, I'd be like, my stomach hurts. So you'd be, yeah.

Who has the highest constitution out of everyone at Smosh? Definitely not me. I have a weak stomach. I'm on the toilet. Angela or Chance? Chance maybe has high constitution. If it's a matter of taking physical hits, I think I'm pretty good constitution-wise. But if it's a matter of, like, surviving yuckiness

and just getting back up, I think Chance. Or Angela. Maybe Angela. Maybe them both. She's kind of, she can get up. Or Keith. Keith did have a cancerous tumor and still would, like, come here and go crazy.

That's true. That guy is pretty resilient. That guy just can't be stopped. He cannot be stopped. Because I think any one of us in his situation would have been down for the count. Yeah, I would have been like, I have to stay home today on account of the cancer.

I don't know, though. I'm pretty stubborn when it comes to being sick. Because when I was little, my mom was like, unless you are vomiting and we have to go to the ER, you are going to school. Which is great for the other kids. I love that. It was not... I barely got to stay home when I was sick.

A tummy ache, I can kind of power through. If my head hurts in the slightest, I am done for the day. I luckily don't get headaches. I'm very grateful for it. But whenever I get the slightest headache, I am done for the day. I luckily don't get headaches. I'm very grateful for it. But whenever I get the slightest headache, I'm dead. So is constitution's low?

I think we both have lower constitution. He's got a little baby. Little tummy ache. I would put myself at very average strength. Dexterity may be a little higher than that because of the reflex thing. Yeah. Sure. Constitution, like medium to medium low.

Yeah. Intelligence, thank you. I'd like to say a little higher. Wisdom, a little lower than that. And then charisma, probably medium high. So I'm good from the back lines being like, you got this. Like, you know. And I guess I'm, I don't know, in the front lines, just intimidating. I think you are, I think we talked about

your intelligence being high you've got good charisma and you've got good constitution than intelligence though i would also say that like if someone gave me a flash card of math problems i'd be like i'm fucking out well that's why then like the everything that you've chosen like you're a warlock they cast using charisma and i think that's really size and i do think proficiencies-wise, obviously, what is it in this world? But arcane, I'd say out of everyone, if anyone at Smosh turned out to be dabbling in the magical arts, it would be you.

I think so. Nobody else on the cast. I think so. Maybe you. And that is why I wanted to announce that I am a witch oh great nice

huge announcement here yay on Smosh Mouth yay uh last quick thing I wanted to talk about I just think it's fun

to dream dreams what what are the like just friggin shot in the dark or just shoot for the moon

what's something you dream about doing on the Smosh Games channel? Because I think about that a lot. You know what I was thinking about this morning? We don't have time for that. I was going to pitch, unless you want to. No, it's okay.

I just stayed up real late working on it. No, it's fine. Okay. Shot in the dark. Oh, okay, really quick. What would be your dream things to do on the Smosh Games channel? Because I was thinking today,

and maybe we could do this, what if you and I sat down with Amanda, we gave her a controller, and we tried to help her guide her to beating the first boss in Dark Souls? I think you could do it. That sounds great. I would love to get to Dark Souls.

It's where this ring is from. Really? Yeah. It's very meaningful to me. It's very meaningful to me. I would love to get to Dark Souls. I'd love to. It's where this ring is from. Really? Yeah. It's very meaningful to me. It's very meaningful to me. I would love that. I think that that would be fucking hilarious. And I think I'd be pretty good.

I just need a little guidance, a little structure. And we could take our time. We could just figure it out. We could do it. I would love that. I think that that's great. I love Dark Souls so much. It's got perfect game design. It's so difficult, but with a purpose.

And you feel so accomplished when you finally get past anything. And I love their way of storytelling in that, I'm just gonna info dump here, because it's my hyper fixation. Their way of storytelling is they don't tell very much, they show a lot. So a lot of people play and beat the game,

and they're like, I don't know what just happened, there's no story. And I'm like, you didn't look lot. So a lot of people play and beat the game and they're like, I don't know what just happened, there's no story. And I'm like, you didn't look around. So it's the kind of thing where if you look at the world, there might be a dead body in the corner that is wearing some armor, right? And you just get the armor.

And you're like, cool, I got that armor. But if you look at the descriptions of that armor, it'll tell you, ah, this was the armor of such and such person. And if you look at the positioning of the body, you'll see there's a huge broken window three stories up. And you're like, oh my ah, this was the armor of such and such person. And if you look at the positioning of the body, you'll see like there's a huge broken window, you know, three stories up. And you're like, oh my God,

that's the way you have to get through that area. And it looks like they fell when they did that. So, oh my God, this person fell. And wait a minute, I actually met them earlier in the game. So that's the end of their story. I wonder if there's a way I could have saved them. Like, it's that kind of thing. You have to be curious.

Oh, I love that. Isn't that great? It's a very cool game. I think I just like didn't have this in front of me. I grew up with all sisters. My little sister was on The Sims forever. I think she has like 17 houses in The Sims. Well, alternatively, my sister was the one who was into Final Fantasy, and

that's what got me into RPG games. Wow, so I never really, I watched 90210 with my older sisters. Okay. We're gonna turn you into a huge nerd. I can't wait. I'm stoked. I'm so down. Let's do it. We will mold you in our image. You are already enough.

What if you could be more? Finally my husband will love me and I'll be able to play Diablo. Honestly, I will say as someone who's like, I grew up with video games, whether it's a parent spending that time with you or whether it's a partner spending that time with you, anyone who you wouldn't expect to fall into this because we were sort of taught that nerdiness whether it's a parent spending that time with you or whether it's a partner spending that time with you,

anyone who you wouldn't expect to fall into this, because we were sort of taught that nerdiness in video games, if that is something you enjoyed growing up, it's like, that's a weird thing, no one's gonna be into that. To have someone you care about in your life be like, I'm interested in that thing, I would love to spend some time with you doing that thing.

It's really special. It's really nice, so I'm glad that it is. No, I love it, we played Age of Empires for hours. That's so cool. And I loved it we played Age of Empires for hours that's so cool and I loved it and I fed all of my people and created farms

and we just built castles around me to attack so it's great that's what happens but that's Age of Empires for you that's Age of Empires

for you well Damien any dreams for Smosh games man we're doing it D&D is some of the most fun I've ever had. I really love where we're at with Smosh now, where we have so much opportunity to play

and explore past what we've done before. There's something to be said for holding onto things that have worked for us in the past, and I'm glad that we continue to do that and find more iterations, but they used to be all we did. And if we tried something and it wouldn't work out for a week, we'd be like, oh, that's less views. We'd be like, scrap it, scrap the whole thing.

So I'm so proud that Legacy worked out and was able to open the door to D&D. And now I'm like, who knows where we go from here? I don't know how long this first season is gonna be. I don't know if we're gonna get another one. But what I would love is to do more D&D content. You know, switch up the cast, add people. At a certain point switch up, switch up,

get Amanda out of there with her fake nerd ass. Absolutely not. Switch up the DMs, like switch up the settings and locations, you know. I was talking to other people in Smosh before and they were like, not at all what I meant. No, I'm allergic to the sun, Amanda. Greg, our sound guy's like, no.

I'm literally allergic to the sun. On the highway. I have to go get my shot right after this. No, I mean like, there's D&D modules that take place in space. There are ones that we can make that seem more Wild West. There's stuff that you're talking about, like why not make it a small town murder?

There's so many stories to be told and so many fun characters to meet, and I just am excited to be pursuing this for years to come. Half my job now is going through old footage and writing down every point of interest that can be said. If someone picks up something and holds onto it, I'm like, I'm gonna pay that off four episodes later. Someone says something just offhanded as a joke,

I'm like, oh, that's part of your backstory now. How many things did I pitch to you in that coaching thing where I'm like, hey, just remember, you said this one time. What if it relates to your backstory in this way? We don't have to pay it off. It will be cool if we do. I remember my purse dragging on the floor,

and I was like, how did I forget that? That's okay, that's what I'm here for. Huge. Huge. Well, I'm so excited. I'm so excited about D&D. Me too. I love it. I'd also love to know in the comments

where you would want D&D to go, like different campaigns, like different genres. Don't tell us what to do. But tell us different genres. Don't tell us what to do. But tell us your ideas. Don't tell us what to do. And yeah, so right now, I believe Dungeons & Dragons is now coming out every week, or it's about to, or it just started, I'm not entirely sure.

But if you haven't checked it out, seriously, go check it out, it's some of the most fun that we're having. I wanna keep doing it. Me too. Forever. Me too. For sure. Thank you Damien for being here.

Hey. Thanks Damien. Thanks y'all, appreciate you. It's pretty sick. Hey, stay fresh. Yeah. Shane, where can we find you? What's up?

If you had to name one character right now and it was a druid, what would the name be? Fernie. What? What? Incorrect. So wrong. Thanks, guys, that was Smosh Mouth. Yeah, get out.

Bye. Man, time to sleep. Pikachu. Ew. And then he just comes up and, what if you wake up and there's a Mr. Mime just looming over you? It's like he was watching you sleep this whole time.

Hello, Wattpad. Reader X Mr. Mime, parentheses smut. Hell yeah. I really hope that you get to sleep. And I wish that, yeah, I don't know. That's all. Mom! I know, fuck, I do it to myself.

I walk into the mom role all the time. Tell you what, though. Tell me. I really appreciate, because right before we started this, Amanda You know those plastic baggies that are way too small It was full of goldfish and then she had another one of Cheerios She said, I get to pick And I chose goldfish

Because you guys are men And Cheerios are for babies