Smosh Mouth - #95 - Try Not To Laugh: The Podcast w/ Chanse McCrary

Episode Date: May 26, 2025

There's nothing Shayne, Amanda, and Chanse won't do to make each other laugh! 0:00 Intro 0:32 Let the games begin! 1:00:46 And the winner is... PODCAST: https://bit.ly/SmoshMouthSpotify https://smo.sh/SmoshMouthiHeart https://bit.ly/SmoshMouthApple  SUBSCRIBE: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshCast WEAR OUR JOKES: https://smosh.com  WHO YOU HEAR Shayne Topp // https://www.instagram.com/shaynetopp/ Amanda Lehan-Canto // https://www.instagram.com/filmingamanda/ Chanse McCrary // https://www.instagram.com/phatchanse/ WHO YOU DON’T HEAR (usually) Director: Selina Garcia Editor: Rayne Darling (formerly Kortney Luby) Producer: Amanda Lehan-Canto, Shayne Topp, Selina Garcia Production Designer: Cassie Vance Art Director: Erin Kuschner Assistant Art Director: Josie Bellerby Stage Manager: Alex Aguilar Prop Master: Courtney Chapman Art Coordinator: Abby Schmidt Prop Assistant: Bridgette Baron Prop Fabricator: Carly Hough Wardrobe Assistant: Jacqui Culler Audio Mixer: Scott Neff Director of Photography: Brennan Iketani Videographer: James Hull Camera Operator: Eric Wann Assistant Director: Jonathan Hyon Executive Vice President of Production: Amanda Barnes Senior Production Manager: Alexcina Figueroa Production Manager: Jonathan Hyon Production Coordinator: Zianne Hoover Operations & Production Coordinator: Oliver Wehlander Production Assistant: Caroline Smith Post Production Manager: Luke Baker DIT/Lead AE: Matt Duran IT: Tim Baker IT & Equipment Coordinator: Lopati Ho Chee Sound Editor: Gareth Hird Director of Design: Brittany Hobbs Senior Motion & Branding Designer: Christie Hauck Graphic Designers: Ness Cardano, Monica Ravitch Senior Manager, Channel & Strategy: Lizzy Jones Channel Operations Coordinator: Audrey Carganilla Director of Social Media: Erica Noboa Social Creative Producer: Peter Ditzler, Tommy Bowe Merchandising Manager: Mallory Myers Social Media Coordinator: Kim Wilborn Social Media Coordinator: Margaux Bernales Brand Partnership Manager: Chloe Mays Operations Manager: Selina Garcia Talent Coordinator: Danielle Moses People Operations Specialist: Katie Fink Front Office Assistant: Sara Faltersack CEO: Alessandra Catanese Executive Producers: Anthony Padilla, Ian Hecox EVP of Programming: Kiana Parker Coordinator Producer of Programming: Marcus Munguia Associate Producer, Special Projects: Rachel Collis Executive Assistant: Katelyn Hempstead OTHER SMOSHES: Smosh: https://smo.sh/Sub2Smosh Smosh Pit: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshPit Smosh Games: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshGames FOLLOW US: TikTok: https://smo.sh/TikTok Instagram: https://instagram.com/smosh Facebook: https://facebook.com/smosh

Hi, welcome to Smosh Mouth. I'm Shane. And I'm Amanda. Whoa. I did not enjoy that. Okay. We have a special guest, Chance McCrary. Hello, I'm Chance. And we're doing Try Not to Laugh. Yeah, we're doing Try Not to Laugh, and it starts right now. We're just starting it. We're starting it. What are the rules? The rules are you just don't laugh. Don't. But we can have normal conversation, we can talk about whatever we want. But if you laugh? The only thing is just don't laugh.

Whoever laughs the least in this episode wins. Yeah, and you win a gift card. To where? You're already laughing. That's the first laugh, bro. You made yourself laugh. That's because our gift cards don't mean anything. Immediately cracked.

What do you mean they don't mean anything? It's a gift card to, where would you like it to be? Chili's. A Chili's gift card is a solid choice. It's a solid choice. Chili's. Oh, was it supposed to be a joke? No. No, nothing's a joke here.

Build a bear. That's actually not a bad idea. I don't want you there in that vicinity. I think Chili's is great. Let me stuff some bears. Nope. And you cracked. I'm in the lead now. This is awesome.

Whatever. You were telling us something about Uber. Oh, I was in an Uber this morning and I don't like air blowing on my face when I'm in the car. And I, it was like blowing right on my face. And I was like, and my eyes start watering and I'm like, fuck no. So then I was like,

and I don't like talking to the Uber drivers. Me neither. So I'm like, fuck no. So then I was like, and I don't like talking to the Uber drivers. So I was like, could you turn the air a different direction? He looks at me and then he turns it up. That's awesome. I was just like, and I just had water in my eyes the rest of the time. You didn't say anything after that? I couldn't say anything after because I couldn't tell

if he was doing it out of spite or because he didn't understand me and at that point I was too socially anxious. That's a checkmate right there. I don't know if he did it on purpose. Well then I was like this the rest of the Uber so I didn't have to get it in my eyes and I was like closing my eyes. I bet he probably just like didn't hear you

or all the way in the back seat. That might have been true. He made some weird eye contact with me in the mirror so I was like I think he knows. Oh, then he knows. But why? He wasn't even looking at the road, he was just looking at that straight.

The whole time? Just looking straight at you. That's terrifying. Yeah. That's awful, and I'm so sorry that happened to you. Thank you guys. On a side note, I'm famous. You are famous.

We haven't had a chance to talk about this, but one of your dreams came true. Big dream. What? I'm on people.com. Oh. Arguably one of people's greatest articles ever. So well written.

It was so well written. Factually correct. So many specifics. I didn't see it. I would hit you, but I'm on camera. I'm sorry. And I'm gonna keep this persona tight. No, it was a very wonderful specific article. Chance, you are already just

What's happening over here? fulled it in, man. Yeah, I'm just. I thought you were gonna do really well. I'm goofing, I'm goofing. Okay, okay. He's goofing. I cannot goof. So back to people.com.

Don't laugh at that. People.com. Guys, I announced my pregnancy, and then then that night somebody got on their little computer and wrote a whole article. And the biggest takeaway that I got was that my husband changes his hairstyles often. Which was, I mean, they get the scoop. I mean, the scoop was big. They've got the scoop over at People. And they also called it Smooch. Twice.

No, they didn't. They called it Smosh. Twice. No they didn't. They called it Smosh. Which how do they know that's what it really is? Yeah. Because they've got the scoop. They also like their list of like the cast of Smosh. They were like, the Smosh has the likes of, I think they said like,

They say Arasha, Anthony. And Shayne Topp, as well as others. And it's like, okay, like just an interesting, it was just listed out. I'm not trying to be in people, bitch. Oh my God, you're missing out. I'm trying to be in Vogue. Tiger Beat.

I'm trying to be in- I can get in Vogue. Guys, that was a slam dunk of a joke. What did you say? I said, you're trying to get in Tiger Beat. What is Tiger Beat? Yeah, nobody knows what that is. You don't know Tiger Beat?

I know Tiger Heat, that's a gay party in LA. Really? Really. Whoa, imagine if I just rolled up. That's a gay party in LA. Really? Really. Whoa. Imagine if I just rolled up. Yeah, Tiger Heat, it's 18 plus, Shane, don't go. As opposed to what? Why can't he go because it's 18 plus? You can't say that.

I'm saying you're 33, you should not be in an 18 plus club. Look at him, he just ran back. You're saying it needs to be in an 18 plus club No, it's adults only why can't you're a fucking baby 18 plus it's younger people it's younger people Shane's gonna go there to be like Reasons why If you went with that mustache you're right, yeah, it. That's what I'm, I don't care. There's a couple reasons why I wouldn't fit. If you went with that mustache. You're right.

It'd all be over for you, honey. And that tight, tight maroon shirt. Oh my god. Tight, tight. Ooh, tight, tight. Dude, you'd be done. Can I go? Can you go what?

Tiger heat. No, bitch. There's enough straight women out in gay spaces. OK, so here's a, whoa. There's so many. There's so many. Yeah, it's true. Are they there just enough straight women out in gay spaces. Okay, so, whoa! There's so many. There's so many. Yeah, it's true. Are they there just to like hang out?

I think they're there so they don't get hit on. Hit on. I thought that was a myth, but I think it's true. Oh, it's definitely true. That's very true. But it's kind of fun to get hit on sometimes. Oh yeah, I'm trying to get. Also, you still get hit on at gay bars.

You get hit on at gay bars? You get hit on at gay bars? Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty crazy. I gotta be honest, I mean, I haven't really been to, I think only once in like the past year did I end up at a gay bar. I think it was like all of us. I think you were probably by yourself.

No, no, but I don't think I got hit on. I remember leaving being like, damn. I'm hot. That's a bummer. I left, I was like, I'm not. Nobody hit on him at the gay bar, which is like a bummer. Nobody really hits on me at bars, but I was like, maybe here, maybe something will happen.

People don't hit on a lot of people. I don't think it's as common nowadays. People are afraid to hit on people. It's kind of sad to me. I get why. Let's be, people are trying to be safe. I couldn't even talk to the Uber driver to get him to turn down the air conditioning.

Yeah, come on. So I'm definitely not going up to someone to hit on them, and I find that so. That makes me sad. I like miss when it was just like, hey, can I buy you a drink? No, all right. That is why no one hits on you, Beth.

Bitch, I get hit on plenty. Let me just tell you. All right, let's give, can you give me some pick up lines? Can we do some pick up lines? I don't think I would ever, I never really like hit on people. I would never use a pick up line.

Okay, but if you had to, like if you're going up to someone, it's like, a pick up line is anything. It if you had to, like, if you're going up to someone, like, it's like, a pickup line is anything. It's like, hey, can I buy you a drink? Like, it can be like that. I would probably do that. I'd probably keep it simple. I wouldn't try to do, like, a line.

Hello, can I buy you a martini? Excuse me, can I buy you a drink? Hello? Oh, no. Can you imagine? Now I see. Can you imagine? Now I see why.

I roll up, and I'm just like, why are you rolling? Why are you in a wheelchair? Oh my God, why, yeah. Why are you imagine? Now I see why. Imagine I roll up and I'm just like, why are you rolling? Why are you in a wheelchair? Oh my God, why are you on wheels, bud? Hey bud. Here it goes, here it goes. Yeah, we're all booty hole women. Yeah, no, no, no, no. Okay. You get your wheels out of there, bud. That was the Try Not To Laugh reference

to one of Chance's greatest jokes. That's true. Anyways, what would you do? Yeah. Have you used a pickup line on someone? I feel like you have. I'm sure I have. I've definitely been like, can I buy you a drink?

I usually try to say something that's going on in the environment that we're both seeing. Cocktails, huh? in the environment that we're both seeing. Cocktails, huh? I skip the tails. Nice. So you just say cock? Cock, huh?

And then they're into it? They're like, well, yeah. I mean, that's as far as most grinder conversations go. Okay, so I actually have... What else? Well, I was just gonna talk to you guys. I have a list that I keep of every man I've ever hooked up with. I think I know about this list. It's called the hit list. It has pictures, you can blur this out, but it has pictures of every single one and names, okay? This is incredible.

So I'm gonna- Are they all shirtless? Oh no, there's a couple with- No, I just like to show off the body. Shirts on. You in one second scrolled past more people than I've ever hooked up with in my life. Yeah.

Yeah, Shane. And I'm still scrolling hee hee. Yeah. Yeah, Shane. And I'm still scrolling. OK, so. Yeah. Yeah. This is mostly the only ones that I have to know their name. It's OK, bud. Put them in the hit list.

And I have to have a picture of them to put them in the hit list. You just roll up. It's all right. Can I show you this list? Yeah, of course. Yeah, let me see it. You're like, you already went past two.

OK. I'm going to be a little vulnerable. Yeah, of course! Yeah, let me see it! You're like, you already went past two, okay. I'm going to be a little vulnerable and some of my bits are gonna be calling some of these random men to see if they, one, pick up, and two, what they'll say. What is going on? Is that crazy?

No, I think it's great. You're allowed to do whatever you want. I think it's great. I love it. I love it, too. I love it. Am I getting pranked, though? No, no prank. Marcus is not on the other line.

Does Selena know about this? I was like, there's a Marcus on the list, though. There's a Marcus. Can we just say names and see if we can throw one that's on the list? Fuck. No. No. Oh, right, we don't want to say names and see if we can throw one that's on the list? Fuck. No. No. Oh, right, we don't wanna say names.

He has to pick, so we're not gonna say names. We're gonna keep anonymity. Keep anonymity, that's out of respect for all these people. Okay, at the end of it, I do wanna know the number, which we can also blur out if we want. The what? How many on that list.

Oh, okay. I thought you meant the actual numbers. I should number it, why how many on that list? Oh, okay. I thought you meant like the actual numbers. I should number it. Why have I not numbered it? Dude, why haven't you numbered it? I think I'm scared to number it. We can probably count today. Well, how long do you have?

Okay, so. A whole episode. Your turn. Do you guys wanna call your exes or? No. No, there's a time change in this stuff. Yeah, it's just, I, oh, I'm not supposed to laugh. Inconvenient.

Okay. Okay, I'll start with one. You're just gonna call. Yeah. What, you want me to text? Yeah. Oh, yeah, no, no. No, no, no, no text.

Straight up call. Just calling to see if they answer. Well, I doubt most of them, I feel like most people don't answer phone calls. No. Especially from someone you hooked up with randomly. Or not randomly. Some of them, there are my exes on here too. Okay, here we go.

Let's try one. This is really happening. I now know what it's like to be on the other end of this. Thank you. Whoa. I Now know what it's like to be on the other end of this thank you whoa Hi welcome to the Cheesecake Factory the girl how can I help you? Hi? I I know it's been a while, but I Just wanted to I just wanted to thank you oh You're You're welcome. Yeah the turtle cheesecake was one of the best things I've ever had. And...

Okay. Is this a... is this gonna be an order for pickup or delivery? Oh, no. I already... I already had my fill. Okay. Is there anything else I can help you with? Um, no. All good. Oh, okay. Have a... have help you with? No, all good. Oh Okay, have a great day. Okay. Thank you Oh my god, you fucking you crumbled you crumbled what happened? How did you know wait you fuck a cheesecake? What just happened?

This job is so hard. What just happened? The Cheesecake Factory at the Grove. Was who is your ex in it? The cheesecake or her? Cheesecake. That was a sexual experience for me. There was there was so many layers of confusion. So many layers of cheesecake.

Which cheesecake did you say again? The turtle one. The one with pecans and chocolate and caramel. Also, when you started to break, she went, oh, okay. She was so chill. She's at the ground. She was very sweet. She has to see way worse than me.

It's 10.30 a.m., so I don't think she's really busy. They just opened. I think they, I did not know Cheesecake Factory was open at 10.30 a.m. I didn't know either. Who's getting breakfast at Cheesecake Factory? This man. Have you seen their menu?

It's huge. That is true. Okay, well that was a fun little bit. Yeah, that was a fun starter. That was really awesome. Was that we just did there. That was really awesome. Was that your most recent one? No. I will say I'm also grateful

that you're not actually calling your exes. What do you mean? I think he is. I think that was just a starter. That was an appetizer. I've got some. I think he actually is. Okay.

So buckle up. Okay. So on my way here today, I was thinking, having you on as a guest, we're trying not to laugh. I thought it'd be really funny if we brought back a classic because I felt like we never really got into it in staring contest of trying to do the dune yell. Or we could do the dune yell or the wicked note.

Yeah, okay. You know, that one. But we have to do it in the same key. No changing keys, Amanda. You wanted the lower key. What are you talking about? You literally in karaoke was like, we're doing lower key.

Show me the footage. Receipts, bring it up. I think we go one by one and try it. Which one? Which one do you wanna do, the dune or the wicked? Oh, do you think we'll get copyright struck for wicked? That's just, there's no words, that's just a note. Yeah, but it's big.

What if I happen to- It's not a note, Shane, it's a riff. What if I happen to talk really beautifully and it happens to match up with something and then we're copyright struck, that belongs? It won't happen. Beautiful things belong to us. A lot of people say that we sound alike.

Us? What? Really? Who says that? Reddit. Reddit and reddit's always right. And YouTube on Smoshmouth a lot of time It'll be like oh my god Chance was talking and I thought it was Shane. Whoa. Yeah. Okay. How do you feel about that? I feel gay ass bitch. Jesus. What if I was like how do you feel about that straight boy? Sorry, cut that. If you said that, someone listening is like, I can't believe Shane said that.

Oh yeah, because it's my voice. Yeah, I didn't say that. I said straight. Oh my God, I'm so glad to be over here here just in my own world. No one has my voice No one looks like me. It's great people say you sound like your voice Who has my voice that old hag from so I sound like Cookie Monster an old hag from you You sound like Cookie Monster who told you that I just now and I clocked it and then nailed it No, you didn't doesn't cookie monster sound like Cookie Monster? Who told you that? I said that just now. Shane, just now! And I clocked it and then nailed it.

No you didn't. Doesn't Cookie Monster sound like this? I'm sorry, for our listeners who aren't watching, you probably can't tell what's going on right now. She's, yeah. Cookie Monster. Yeah. To you you're like, oh, Amanda's just continuing to talk.

You're a piece of shit. Gay ass bitch. Whoa. That's different when you say that. Is it? Yeah. Whoa. Is it?

Yes, it is. It's not. What do you mean is it? It's not. Let's all just accept it. Except what? I can say it. No.

I can say those three words. Yeah. I can say it. And I said it. Not taking it back? This is the hill you die on? I'm staying. Okay.

I'm staying. Did you have any prepared bits? No. Guys. What? Everybody calm down. Oh, you're doing it? It's really hard.

It's really hard. You need to hear it? It's really hard. It's really hard. It's just hard to do it earnestly. I'm gonna do the doon yell. I feel like you right now. Yeah, you got this. We got this guys. Someone had to get into the recording booth and do that. Yeah, and they took it very seriously.

Very seriously. You changed the key. What? I'm gonna do the doon yell. Someone had to get into the recording booth and do that. Yeah. Yeah, and they took it very seriously. Very seriously. Ah! That's, you changed the key. What? You changed the key. I'm not a singer.

That was like Disney dudes. Yeah, clearly. It has to go high. Ah! That was better. That was better. Tell me I didn't nail that. You nailed it, wow.

Chance? Yeah, this is your chance. Hey! Hey! Hey! Ah! Ah! Oh my God. I'd rather be dead literally rather be dead in the ground scratching so much like but your voice is a fuzz those vapes don't vape I wouldn't and you shouldn't you brought vape

Fucking vaping um was that it are you fulfilled? Yeah good, okay, okay? Okay Oh All right, oh we woo, oh we woo, that's my version. Oh we woo unique You are so lame unique you are so millennial sometimes it hurts unique Experienced Okay, I've got one. One what? An X. Oh God.

Oh God, it's like I forgot and now we're back. This is gonna be rough. Oh my God, I can't believe we're back. I don't know if this one will answer. It's gonna be Chili's. Hello? Hey. Do you have a second to talk for a second? Yeah, of course. I just...

I just want to thank you. Like you were... You were so kind to me. And I think I treated you badly. And I think... Honestly, I think... I think I treated you badly and I think honestly I think I wasn't ready to be in a relationship.

I wasn't ready to sit with myself. Sorry, I know this is a lot right now. Are you okay? Yeah. Who is this? This is Chance. Yes. Chance.

Yes. Okay. Um, well. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, you're welcome. Um, well. Okay. Thank you, thank you. Yeah, you're welcome. Okay, I gotta go. I'm sorry.

I think I actually might have had the wrong number. Okay, bye. I want to die. I. I just feel like I went through one of those things, you know where they spin Air Force pilots around? I was through one of those things over they spin Air Force pilots around uh-huh. I was in one of those just now. I want to die I Wanted to fast-forward that okay? You know what they some of you can't all chance that man didn't remember you Who was that but there was there was a guy randomly that I met in Chicago. Did you earnestly?

A guy that you actually that's a guy that I actually yes, he didn't know who you were And you know what I will say in my defense. I don't save a lot of numbers I can't I'm gonna keep track like if I have your picture Are you adding a note to the picture? No, I don't add a note, it's just the picture and the name. And a lot of them don't have last names, because I don't know their last names. And that's fine.

This man didn't remember you. No, yeah, at all. I need to go to more recent hookups. How long ago do you think that was? Sss, I've been here, I mean that was? Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss a good time. Amanda at the siege of Rome. Oh man. I'm laughing and having a good time at the siege of Rome. Yeah, you burned it all down. Is that a Nero joke? Sure.

What's Nero? Nero's an emperor who, I think it was Nero, is it Caligula? There was an emperor who was like laughing as Rome burned. What's Calagula? Caligula. Yeah, but what's Calagula? Like coagulating blood?

Oh! Yeah. It's like congeals. Yeah, that's what itula? Like coagulating blood. Oh. Yeah. It's like congeals. Yeah, that's what it is. Like it's all like. Cool. Gross. Yeah, yeah, we really went on a journey there.

Hey, new pope. I'm trying to coagulate some cum. No. No. No. Yeah, glad that new pope and that was in the same sentence. No. Guys, there is a new pope.

Conclave really happened. Yeah, Chicago Pope. Did you guys see the movie? Conclave? I have not seen Conclave. I haven't seen, I need to watch so many movies. Me too. Conclave is so good.

I've heard. And it's Ray Fiennes, not Ralph Fiennes. Yeah, I know. What? Bro, was that a joke? It's not Ralph Fiennes. Fiennes? I learned that the hard way, it's Ray Fiennes. Yeah. Yes. I don't want to see anyone Ralph Fiennes. Fiennes? I learned that the hard way.

It's Ray Fiennes. Yeah. Yes. I don't want to see anyone's Fiennes. He wants Voldemort. No, I know. How do you not know his name? It's not Ralph Fiennes.

So don't make that mistake. Ralph Fiennes. It's Ray Fiennes. The boy who lived. That's pretty good. Come to die. Whoa, you got that. Way to go.

Anyways, there's a new pope. There's this Chicago pope. He's from Chicago. From the people who brought you Chicago fire and Chicago PD, from Chicago pope. That's awesome. That was really cool. No, really full on.

Like, can you imagine going, you travel all the way to the Vatican, you go into the Vatican, and you go up and you see the pope, and he's just like, hey, how's it going? How you doing? I'm the friggin' Pope. I didn't know that Popes could be American.

They can be wherever, man. That is crazy. That's why you have to watch Conclave. We didn't know who the Pope was gonna be until the Pope was chosen. I mean, it could have been one of us. Do they have to be like, a Ta- No.

Do they have to be Italian? You don't think I can be the Pope? He's- Pope? No, the last Pope, I believe was, Pope Francis was Argentinian. Oh. The Pope before that, Pope Benedict was German.

So does he speak Latin? I'm assuming they actually probably do. I feel like they have to. I know a little bit about the new Pope, Pope Leo. He actually, he was born in Chicago, but I think he spent a lot of his time outside of the States. Like, I think he was in Peru for like a long, like 12 years.

Whoa! Yeah, he's been on missions and stuff around the world. Missions, yeah. So I don't think he's like, but he grew up, apparently he's a Cubs fan. That's awesome. Wow, Chicago's freaking out right now. That was earnest.

Okay. Okay. All right, sick. I'm not Catholic, but hey, you know what, whatever. I don't have any feelings actually about it. Are you okay? Yeah. No, I'm just thinking about it. I'm just like, wait, what?

I don't care that much. It's just interesting. But you're talking about it a lot for someone who doesn't care. Yeah, like I feel like do you wanna be- Or World News, it's, you know, it's- Do you wanna be Catholic and do you wanna be the Pope? I don't, I it's. Do you wanna be Catholic and do you wanna be the Pope? I don't, I don't.

Do you wanna be Catholic and do you wanna be the Pope? The question is very simple, Shane. Very simple. I was Catholic for the first part of my life. Because growing up, we went to Catholic church. Oh, you left that out. And then we left, because Catholic church, not a good track record.

So my mom was like, we're getting out of here. And then. And now you want back in. No my mom was like, we're getting out of here. And then- And now you want back in. No, not at all actually. I slept through every single Catholic church service I went to. But it didn't sleep through you. Oh God.

Someone who went to Catholic church for many, many years, Sunday school, confirmation, baptism. Did you guys watch Veggie Tales too? We watched Veggie Tales too. They had a second one? What? Damn too? We watched Veggie Tales too. They had a second one? What? Damn. We watched Veggie Tales as well.

That was good, that was actually really cool. We did watch Veggie Tales, Veggie Tales did slap. You know, it's weird, what a weird choice. So strange. To be like, all right, who's gonna teach kids about the Lord, it's like, oh, let's have a shaft and balls. Well, mine was my mother. She was a children's literacy teacher.

So that's what taught me. Really? Yeah. Whoa. She would get all the kids and go in the back and we'd play Simon Says. My mom didn't teach me how to read. She taught me how to shake that ass. I never said my mom taught me how to read. She taught me about the Lord.

Oh. Your mom taught you how to shake that ass? Mm-hmm. You wanna see? Yeah, let's see it. Shane really wants to see. Let's see it. For our listeners, hopefully you can hear this.

It's starting and I actually don't want it. It's so far it's okay. it's more of a like a- Dark denim jeans, really into that. A little more of a circular motion. Wow. I wouldn't say that's a shake. It's gorgeous. Commentating, commentating.

Like it's the Westchester Dog Show. It's Shay and Amanda and we're back commenting on Shake That Ass. And here he comes in, okay he's got some dark denim. Okay we got an upward motion going. You can see as his ass pushes against the denim that it really shows off his form. Okay, I didn't know that.

What? At least I don't have a lumpy ass like Amanda. Okay. Whoa! I don't have a lumpy ass. It's true. It's crazy how I don't have a lumpy ass. It's round.

You two are after me again today. Sorry. I'm not after you, I'm before you. That was so bad. So bad. That was so bad. No, it was. Let's just, hey, let's all restart.

Whoa, you just did, I think you're now summoning Satan. You can't. You can't do five. You can't do. Is that a rule? It's a pentagram. Yeah, man. I wasn't doing five. That's Satan.

This is four. The Pope. I'm feeling my Catholic roots coming back. Was your mom's Catholic? Yeah. Was she stoked about the Pope? I haven't talked to her about it, she's in France. Dude, oh, she's overseas.

She's overseas for the Pope. She's like, she's on her way to visit him. She's gonna go see the Pope. She's on her way. Yeah, she's Catholic. That's cool. You guys want another X? Oh God, I don't know if I can handle this.

Yeah, let's do it. You know what, go for it. My body is not prepared, but here we go. Buckle up listeners, viewers. When you go on a roller coaster when people do calls, and you're about to go, and then you just have to go, because you have to drop. I can't earnestly, I could never imagine actually doing this.

I had a buddy back when the ice bucket challenge was happening, I had a buddy who, he couldn't, physically he couldn't when the ice bucket challenge was happening. I had a buddy who who he couldn't physically he couldn't do the ice bucket challenge so instead he called several of his exes and Some of them he was not on good terms with oh god to challenge them to the ice bucket challenge No, he was not prepared. It was rough It was rough. It was so rough. Why did they pick up?

They always do. Sometimes they do. Sometimes I guess. They're like so intrigued. Well, I also wonder with an ex, it's just like, is there like some sort of like bill or something? I don't know. Is there something like they need from me that I have

or whatever information or something? I don't know. Oh, I never think about that. There just might be an importance to it. I don't know. I always think they're calling. Depends on the amount of time that's passed too. I don't think it was like a long time.

Oh, that's awkward. You know, if we're talking like five, eight years, yeah, I wouldn't pick up. Yeah, is this ex, what's the recent time for this ex? This one's a recent one. Like a year? So they're gonna know who you are. Like in the past two. Okay they're gonna know who you are. Hopefully. I don't know if that's better or worse. I think it's better oddly that they know who you are. Let's go. So this is not a prank call. Calling my ex. One of them. Oh my God. Buckle up everybody. Yeah? Hey, Dylan.

Do you have a second to talk? Who is this? This is Chance. Oh, yeah. What's up? Hey, I was just, my. What's up? Hey, I was just... My birthday's coming up, and I was wondering if you wanted to...

I'm gonna have a party. Oh, sick. Sick. And I don't know. I was just wondering if you wanted to come. I know we ended things kind of weirdly. Um, yeah. Yeah, I'll roll up this. Yes, I mean, it eats your liver. Yeah, okay, great.

Um, it'll be on the 23rd. Pool party. Come with that nasty bod. Um, it's not that nasty anymore. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah. Are you okay? Alright, uh, what?

Uh, nothing. Okay, great, I'll send you the deets. Can I, um, can I bring someone? Like a, yeah, like a girlfriend? Um... like a... like a bear? It's more of like a twang-swang situation. Sorry. What did you say?

Yeah, you can bring him. I can bring a bear? Yeah. Okay. I'll see you and your bear. Can I bring a dog? No, dude, you can't bring a dog. I'm sorry.

I think the owner's allergic. Owner of what? The house. Oh, it's gonna be at a house. I remember your teeth you'd really good teeth thank you okay I'll see you there please do not Angela how's it going? Ha ha ha! I was waiting for that. Yeah.

It wasn't at first and then halfway I was like, wait a second, I'ma roll up with the dates. I'ma roll up one of the dates. I'ma bring a bear. Yeah, I was like, full talks like that. How can I bring a bear? I was still in it, I was still believing it at that point, so I was like, is that? I didn't know it was me. What the fuck? Oh, I didn't know you were here. I didn't know it. I was still believing it at that point. So I was like is that

What the fuck? Oh, I didn't know you were here I didn't think you were in the office today cuz you said cuz you said roll up dudes get in here Do you have a New York Yankees hat on? Yeah. But it's a P. Hatch knows me. When did you know? I knew it was you when you said. I actually don't think I started clocking it

until I looked over and saw Chance's phone. Damn, no. I knew it was you when you said, I'ma roll up with the dates. Well, I knew that whoever was on the other line was in on it. I just didn't know who it was. I shoulda went further.

You did a good job with that voice. I thought you did good with the voice. I'm on it. I just didn't know who it was. I should have went further. You did a good job with that voice. I thought you did good with the voice. I'm filtering it, so some are real, some are not. And you said bear. That last one was real. The last one was real. Whoa. And you said bear.

I'm gonna bring a bear. The bear was crazy. Angela, we should talk about the ketchup story. Fuck off. Fuck off. Oh. catch up story. I was like, who's running into Smoshmouth right now? That was insane.

How'd you know it was me? I'll do better next time. Yeah. I thought her voice was actually really good. When it was like, can I bring a dog? I was like, okay, this person's joking. I'm gonna bring my dog in my bear. So the previous call was real.

Yeah. And they genuinely know who you are. Wow. But that one is fair, it's eight years. It was one night. He was so calm about it too. He was really calm about it. He was really cool about it.

He was like, chance. I don't think that's the first time that's happened. For him, for him. Have you called your exes before? Some of them. Like just randomly to be like, hey? Some of them, but honestly to invite be like hey? Some of them but honestly to call to invite to a party would be something that I would. You would call? I

would I would call first. Really? Whoa. I think that's brave. Well because I want to see if they even want the invitation to even know where it's at and shit. That's brave. I feel like most people just send the invitation and be like I don't know we'll see. Good for you. Wow. I feel like most people just send the invitation and be like, I don't know, we'll see. Good for you. Mmm. Wow. I like, I appreciate that directness. That's really bold. Bold.

I am not a phone call person. No, me neither. Not at all. It was a learned thing. Is your mom a phone call person? No. They always, my mom and my dad get so awkward on the phone. My mom answers and she's like

You got it. Konichiwa? What? Japanese? No. What? No. What are you saying? I don't know. I was trying to think like she all of a sudden speaks a different language to me but that you'd have to know the context of my mom. She doesn't speak any other languages She barely speaks English Whoa Damn Let me roast you my mother right now. Holy it's we are recording this episode two days before mother's day. Oh fuck It's fine. No one's gonna know that. Use your present mom. They know it now. I said it

My mom also gets kind of, she gets a little upset. She's like, what's up? When I call her, if I call her. What's up? Whoa! Yeah. And I'm like, hey, just checking. And she's like, what's going on?

I'm doing 100 things right now. What's going on? What's up? Wow. And I'm always like, oh, yeah. I was just going to say hi. Oh, hi. Is everything OK? Oh. She's like, oh yeah, I was just going to say hi. Oh, hi. Is everything okay?

Oh. She's like me, it's always like a call to me is like, emergency. What's up? Yeah. Yeah. Wow. How do you guys answer the phone?

Like when someone calls you. Yeah, hello? I'm kidding. Hey. I wanted bits, so do you want to take it back? Nope. I answer the phone So you wanna take it back? Nope. I answer the phone and I go, hey! There's a bit.

I answer it and I go, huh? Ew. Ew. I answer the phone and I go, yow. Do you wanna take that back? I go, answer the phone and I say, no. You said that before I even got words out of my mouth.

Cause you were Do it. They can hear your movement I answer the phone and I go Nice Are you guys FaceTime people? I can do a FaceTime I am really not a fan of FaceTime

I can do a FaceTime because there's people in my life who love to FaceTime so I've accepted it I am not not a fan of FaceTime. I can do a FaceTime, because there's people in my life who love to FaceTime, so I've accepted it. I am not. Yeah, exactly. I'm like, okay, this person wants to see me when they talk. I've accepted it. My sister, my good friend, and my other friend. There's like three. I am just, ugh.

So I just accept it. What I don't like though, is when I send a text and then they immediately FaceTime. I struggle with that, because sometimes I'm sending a text and I'm accept it. What I don't like though is when I send a text and then they immediately FaceTime. I struggle with that because sometimes I'm sending a text and I'm not available. Yeah. Are you okay? No.

Okay, great. Okay, great, awesome. Because there's people who FaceTime in public. They're like out in public and they've got that. Yeah, that's hard. And I'm like, wow. I'll do that, I'll do that. Okay.

You do do that. I. You did that the other that. And I'm like, wow. I'll do that, I'll do that. Okay. Whoa. You do do that. You did that the other day. And, you did that the other day and everybody noticed. Yeah, but I wanted them to say hi to the person on the phone. Should I FaceTime him? There's nothing, okay, can I say,

there's nothing more awkward than when someone is FaceTiming and you're sitting nearby just doing something different and they're like, oh say hey, and it pans over and I just I feel like I'm a hundred years old suddenly. Yeah. I'm just like, yes, hey, like there's nothing you can do besides just kind of be like, hey, it's like oh and Shane's over here and I'm just like, ah, and it's like, all right. Why do people do, I hate when someone passes the phone around. Do you want to say hi to your, do you want to say hi to Aunt Kathy? Oh, it's the worst.

And you're like, I love her, but I am not in the place. I'm not prepared. I want to know if this is the case for listeners too, where it's now become a part of like Christmas and Thanksgiving and stuff. Yes. Holidays where you're gathered with your family where it's like, all right, now we have to go through the cycle of not have to like, I'm excited to talk with your family where it's like, all right, now we have to go through the cycle of, not have to, like, I'm excited to talk to relatives, but it's like,

all right, now we're calling grandpa, and we're gonna have him on FaceTime, we're gonna pass it around, we all say hey, but like. We don't need to do that anymore. A lot of like old people, it's like, dude, old people over FaceTime, they can't hear or understand what's going on sometimes, so they're just like.

And they're like this, so it's just the top of their head. It's truly the pope. They're just being passed around. They're just like, waving. They don't understand what's going on. Like, why do we do? We don't have to. We can end that.

We can stop it. We cannot. We cannot stop it. No. Okay. We cannot stop it. By stopping the calls. Trust me, I've tried.

You have? Nope. Yeah. Yeah. Choo! Yeah. He's going to whip out a sword. Oh.

Oh. What? Don't do this. You do do this. It was going to be a grenade. Oh, where we sound exactly the same. No. Were you guys gang up on me?

It's crazy what I deal with. Hey. Hey. Hey. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That we do that.

That we do that. It's not fair. It's not fair. I don't even know who's talking. That's us. Oh. We are Shaggen. Oh.

Yeah. It was a Mass Effect reference. We are Shades. Legion. Oh. Yeah. It was a Mass Effect reference. Cool, very cool. For the Mass Effect heads out there. Very cool, yeah. Mass Effect. Also that hit movie Legion. Yeah.

It's on FX sometimes. With the angels. I think I saw that. Oh no, you're talking about the X-Men. I think I saw Legion. No, no, no. No, yeah, yeah. No, with the angels, with the angels. Yeah, the angel one.

Is it called Legion? I think it's called Legion. That was sick. I saw it saw Legion. No, no, no. No, with the angels, with the angels. Yeah, the angel one. Is it called Legion? I think it's called Legion. That was sick. I saw it in theaters. It's a bad movie, but it's sick. The angel fight at the end was really cool. Angel fight is really sick. Really cool.

Basically, angels are coming to Earth. They're going to wipe out all humanity. But this one angel's like, no, humans deserve to live. So he's going to fight again. Who's played by that angel? I think I have seen Legion. What's his name who plays? I'm doing the Amanda thing where I'm thinking of that actor. Do it.

He's a popular actor, but he's like kind of always in character roles, but he plays in Marvel, he's the robot. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. No, you're saying random actors. He's tall, thin, and British. Yes. Tally Berry. He was in A Knight's Tale. Yes, yes, of course. Heath Ledger.

Paul West. He's Vision, he's Vision. Yes, what's his name? Paul Bettany. Paul Bettany. I was there, I was there. Paul Bettany is an angel who's fighting against all the other angels.

Jennifer Garner. You did that? Can I say I had such a crush on Jennifer Garner. She's so hot. You mean I had. She's still hot. I don't, okay, yeah. Women can age and still be hot, Shane.

Thank you. Yeah, I know that. Well, some women. I just mean when I was a kid, whoa, whoa. Whoa. I'm sorry. Oh, dude! Did I not cordially invite you to this?

Ugh! No, you can't. Oh my God, bro. You can't hop your way out of this. Add it to the compilation. Add it to the compilation, ugh! That was brutal. No, I just mean like.

It's fine, I have thick skin. I just mean like back when she was indareable. And thick thighs. No, I just mean like- It's fine, I have thick skin. I just mean like back when she was in Daredevil. And thick thighs. Damn, damn! Just- It's fine. Not- I can take it.

Going a second. I can take it. Anyways, yeah, Jennifer Conley is a beautiful woman. Jennifer Conley's also- Jennifer Conley. You brought to a different Jennifer, but- Wait, who is the other one? Jennifer Conley. Pretty much every celebrity- Wait, who is the other one? Am I losing my mind? Pretty much every celebrityley is also. You brought to a different Jennifer, but. Wait, who is the other one? Pretty much every celebrity.

Jennifer Aniston. Every celebrity Jennifer is hot. That's who we're talking about. Grandma, it's okay. We're going to FaceTime you here. We weren't talking about Jennifer Garner. I'm going to smash your phone so hard.

I'm going to smash your phone so hard. I'm gonna smash your phone so hard. All I do is get roasted. Chance, you have, you have, there's not, you have destroyed every, Amanda has disintegrated. No, I'm still here. We are no longer Amanda. Amanda's over here just like, hit and like. Taking bullets like in The Matrix. No. Okay, no, he dodged the bullets. He stopped the bullets.

Stop it! He dodged the bullets. He did dodge the bullets. And also, bitch, we were talking. He dodged the bullets. Yeah, he famously did not. That is the most famous scene in movies that he famously completely avoided the bullets.

That's not true. That's not true. Or he halted them all. At the end, he literally took them all and then she went, Neo! And then he went, grrr, and shoved them out of his body and then went back and then they had that kiss and it was like, thank you. What are you talking about? The Matrix, the end.

I know you're thinking that you know I'm right. No, he stops them and then they drop. No, at first he takes them all and he goes, grrr, and then he goes against the wall and he spits blood and she goes, Neo! She's right. And and he goes, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, and then he goes against the wall and he spits blood and she goes, Neo! And then he goes, just get up! So you're like Neo before he learns the powers. Get up! And then he gets up and then he goes.

He's beginning to learn. No. Wow, she saves him and then the next movie, he saves her. She always saves him. No, she has two bullets in her heart and he reaches in and takes the bullet out that is actually true Those movies kick so much ass except for the last one the last one's a little weak the one with oh no the third Third and fourth are both. I have something to admit third is third sucks fourth is more of a very meta Yeah, allegory that

It's not like a fun movie. Yeah but it's funny when you know the context. I can call one more ex. Oh my God. Let's call your ex. And also we were talking about Jennifer Connelly. I just wanted to- When were we talking about Jennifer Connelly? We were talking about-

Paul Bett? Well- You started Jennifer Connelly and then chanced on Jennifer Garner. Thank you. We were talking about Jennifer Garner. Jennifer Connelly is married to Paul Bettany. And then I never brought up Jennifer Garner. Thank you. We were talking about Jennifer Garner. Jennifer Connelly is married to Paul Bettany. And then I never brought up Jennifer Garner because.

Well, I brought up Jennifer Garner. You think she's hot? She's hot. It's so interesting. I had a hot take. Is there a celebrity Jennifer that isn't hot? They're all hot. Whether you like them, like whether you like their,

who they are. Jennifer Connelly, Jennifer Garner, Jennifer Lopez. Jennifer Coolidge. Jennifer Coolidge Jennifer Coolidge hot What what are you gonna say what are you gonna say what you're gonna say mine stuck um um Jennifer pussy no hot no done. I didn't have anything. I know you did anything So you don't need to Do Jennifer love Hewitt? so hot

Can't hardly wait. I can't I can't hardly wait to die so I become a ghost so she can whisper to me Oh my god, Jennifer's body Actually hot actually hot actually hot no I saw that movie when I was a teenager, and I was like yeah, she could probably kill me very hot she would it would happen. She knows she's a monster I'd be like yeah, but you'd stay alive because you'd be so in love with her. Yeah, I want to die You know that me you know the mean there's I woke up in this house, and I peed blood this morning the two types of Gay yes, yes that house was the, he worked on Jennifer's body. No way.

Yeah. That's cool. The one that you were in, the picture of you. Wow, that's awesome. That's amazing. Can I say something though? Yeah. Hot take.

Okay. I mean, of course at that time, even still, obviously, Megan Fox, super hot. Yeah. Super hot. I never understood the, people were like, she is the hottest woman to ever exist. And I never fully understood that. I was like, yeah, she's super hot,

but I don't get the like, she is above all. And that's kind of the narrative I felt like at the time. I think there's some people that you have to meet in person. I wonder. I will say though, her face is beautiful. Like it is, I think it's very hot. I'm not arguing, I'm not saying she's not hot. But you know who I think is the hottest woman ever?

Okay. And you guys might not know who this is. Monica Bellucci, or whatever her name is. Oh, yeah. I think she is, she's in one of the Matrix. Oh dude, and she was in the last, the Beetlejuice sequel. Yes. And it's like the same.

She is so hot. It's ridiculous. Well, she's now dating Tim Burton. You know what she says. It's bizarre. How old is Tim Burton? I don't know. I don't know, but it's such a weird match.

No, she's actually, it's ridiculous. Stunning. Kim Burton? Kim Jong-il Burton? Tim Jong-il Burton? Tim Jong-il Burton? What is happening? You just phased out of existence. Tim Jong-il Burton is...

This is another one of those episodes where someone is gonna be walking along and someone's gonna go, hey, what are you listening to? And they're gonna pull out their AirPod and go, I have no idea. I don't know what I'm listening to. And that's Mosh Mouth for you. Okay, we ready?

Yeah. Well, how recent is this one? Super recent. Oh my God. Oh. All right. Are you gonna be like apologizing? I honestly hope it's Angela again. Roll up.

I really hope. Please be Angela again, please. Or call Courtney or something. I don't think it is. Hello? Hey, it's Chance. Oh hey, what's up? What are you up to this weekend?

This weekend? Mm-hmm. Oh, I thought I told you. Oh, just remind me. I was, well, I've been seeing your dad fuck you fuck you What chance seriously, how much I'm gonna talk about this, right I Get it he's bigger than me. He's stronger than me in more ways than Sorry, don't be hey I get it.

If I were my dad's son, I would sleep with my dad's son. Hang up now. Hang up. We're done here. We're done here. Who was that? Tell Brett I said hi. That was Brett Miller.

Tell Brett I said hi. Oh, god. I knew it. God. At first I didn't know when he said, your dad. That was a good set up. That was a good set up. I thought we talked about this. Right, right, right. Your dad's. Fuck I didn't know when he said your dad. That was a good set up. That was a good set up. I thought we talked about this.

Right, right, right. Your dad's. Fuck. Fuck. Shit. Fuck. That was such a good tea. Fred Miller is one of the funniest fucks.

So funny. That was brutal. That was good. That was devastating. You two at the Beyonce concert, you guys looked very cute. We were menaces. We actually weren't. We were good.

Angela told this story that your guys' phones were on like zero percent and yeah, and you guys were like oh no our phones And she was like what the fuck guys and then people like do you guys want a free phone charge or whatever? And you're like yes, and Angela's like how does this happen you guys we all three got free phone chargers As soon as we walked in I think probably because your vibes are so so good That's like the three of you like your vibes are so, so good. That's true. The three of you, your vibes are so positive and a good aura. It was crazy. I feel like people were probably like,

I'm not saying if people, even if people didn't recognize you, I feel like people probably gravitated towards you guys. Yeah. But you did get recognized. Of course. I mean, of course. Did you know that the SoFi Stadium is a YouTube partner?

Whoa. Let's get over there. Imagine recording Smosh Mouth in the middle of SoFi. That's sick as fuck. We're on the Jumbotron, but it's in the middle of a Rams game. No. You're like, getting tripled. See how we have to dodge?

I get just absolutely leveled. You get leveled? You're out for the rest of the pod. I fucking disintegrate mid-podcast. Five minutes in. Five minutes in. I thought you disintegrated in the podcast. Five minutes in. Five minutes in. Uh oh. That would be awful. The defensive end of the Los Angeles Rams has absolutely destroyed Shane.

I'm just flat. Like I'm flat across. And I'm there in the middle just like, Get em boys! And I'll be in the mascot costume. Why? What are they Rams? The Rams Rams the Chargers both both play there? Cuz there's chargers also goats with horns. What are no chargers are there? Ram is a ram not chargers are like Thunderbolts. They're like it's just electricity Insane electricity you can either be a ram or electricity. I want to be electricity like static shock. Hell yeah. Well, the Chargers have that quarterback

that you love when we were playing Uno. Oh my God. Is his name Nick or something? What's the Scott? I'm forgetting his name right now. It's Herbert. What? Justin Herbert. Justin Herbert! That last name is not sexy. He's like six foot eight, like surfer guy vibes. Oh, that's hot. And he's really good. But the last name. Justin Herbert? A bit of an egg. Hey, he's a great quarterback.

You know what, I'm gonna get used to it when it's my first. He's a great quarterback. He hasn't been able to make it work in the postseason, but he's a great quarterback. Hey man, when- Can I see a picture? I cannot wait for football to come back. I can tell. He's not gonna quarterback. Hey man, when- Can I see a picture? I cannot wait for football to come back. I can tell. He's not gonna be your type.

He's too boyish. He's not like, gruff. You like boyish type. He's not gruff enough. You like pretty. That's why I like Justin Herbert. Yeah, you like just, I don't think Justin Herbert's gonna be your type.

Okay, let's see. I had one more. I'm trying to think if there's a quarterback that's your type. Okay, everyone, I'm about to show Amanda a picture of Justin Herbert, and you're gonna hear her honest reaction. Yeah, he's not gonna be your type.

Okay. I'm pretty certain. Six-eight. He's tall. He's, but like his look is enormous. His look is like very... Boy, pretty. I think, like I'm not saying you won't think you're attractive.

Cause I can appreciate. Oh, she's not gonna like it. No, she's not. Oh God. That's what he looks like if you go to... Okay, this isn't what I thought he looked like. Oh, even Chance doesn't like it. No.

You guys, I no longer like Justin Herbert. Oh, okay. No, no, absolutely not. This isn't bad because he's also trying to be out in the woods, but I know he can't chop wood. And then I look at this and I go, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, see exactly. You cannot pick me up and bring me back home at 10.

He can't chop wood. He probably could chop wood. He's a quarterback. He's sweet. This motion? He's sweet looking. I can't chop wood but whoa He can do that. They can do that. Yeah, you didn't know this but um depending on what team they play for they get different powers No way

Can you imagine it's like oh you play for the charges you can conduct electricity with your hands ah that'd be sick with your hands. That'd be sick. God, they're gonna make a fantasy book about this. It's gonna be all football players with powers. Can I bring something back? So there's been the debate of like, could 100 men defeat a gorilla in bare handed combat, right? And it's been settled, who are like the humans.

Here's my new one. I didn't say the humans. I'm so excited. Here's my new one. And this one's way more crazy. There's a gorilla on the one yard line and he has a football. And there's a hundred men scattered

about the football field. The gorilla is gonna beeline it for the end zone on the other side of the field. Can a hundred men stop him? It depends on where the men are too. I think in my eyes, the men are scattered. So it's kinda like evenly scattered. There's enough space in between each man. So they're not in one clump.

If the men are not working together, they won't stop the gorilla. Or what if the men are all there at the other one yard line? Like kind of like Red Rover. I don't know, man. I think the gorilla gets enough speed. But they need to clump together. But what if the gorilla is very fast,

it moves around the clump? It's not gonna move around the clump. It could move around the clump. The clump will eat the gorilla is very fast, it moves around the clump? It's not gonna move around the clump. It could move around the clump. The clump will eat the gorilla. What if the gorilla jumps over the clump? Because we're not talking about a fight, we're talking about the gorillas can jump that high. Any part of it, all of this can jump.

What if the gorilla could leap over a guy? I don't think gorillas can jump that high. My take is 100. They can swing, but if they're just flat on the ground. My take is 100 men, I know it's a lot, I think the gorilla can make it to the end zone past 100 men. I'm like losing my power just listening to you guys.

Like I'm disintegrating over here. I'm just like, ugh. You have a gorilla behind you. And he was for a different purpose. Okay. I don't ever, he's not gonna be holding a football. He doesn't hold footballs. He doesn't hold anything now.

Well, yeah. He never got a chance, Amanda. He was going to make it. He was going to make it. He will run with a football and win. He was going to get a full ride. Oh, God. I can't. He was going to get a full ride. He was going to be drafted first overall.

I can't. The league would have been different. Okay, I've got another X. I can't. The league would have been different. Okay, I've got another axe. I literally cannot. No. So wait, did you figure out if all the men would fucking defeat a football gorilla? We've determined that 100 men would defeat

a gorilla in combat, but I don't think 100 men could stop a gorilla from getting to the end. You're into this? Mm-hmm, okay. Oh, I watched like 100 Doctor Strangers versus 100 colossal titans. Yeah, here we go. God dang it.

Okay. Real X. Yeah, we'll see. Right there, you're pathetic. Come crawling back to me after all this time, fuck off. What? That was Barack Obama. You and Obama got together?

I couldn't tell if that was Barack Obama or The Rock. I actually thought it was The Rock. And you know what? The Rock Obama. That was an SNL sketch. Oh, yeah. That's incredible. It's really good.

So you slept with both both What was the rock like? Hard I bet Yeah, I bet but soft for me cuz he's straight. Oh Yeah, he is straight. Oh, oh god. Oh right. Oh chance. I'm sorry I'm sorry. We could not smell what the rock was cooking Put yourself out there Started with the football the gorillas and now it's just yeah, can we can I say something?

When football season begins again, prepare, okay? Cause then it's game on time. Give up football season. Cause okay, this time of year can be really hard for me where I, you know, all the theater kids get to rule during the six months when football's not going. It's all wicked fans like, yeah! We were doing musical theater bepperties.

Boom! We're talking about all this stuff. Oh my God. And I sit here and I'm interested. And then the second football gets brought up, you go, ugh, ick. I can get into football. No, ick of you guys doing the rock back and forth.

That was the ick. You don't like the rock? No, I like the rock. I just don't want you guys to do it. You like the rock? He's fine, yeah. He's fun. Oh, don't come after me for this. He's in Moana, good for him. Oh, don't, don't come after me for this.

He's in Moana, good for him. You like Moana? Don't do that. I love Moana. You don't like Moana? I love Moana. Guy who's just trying to pick a fight. You're awful.

So badly. I hate you. When is football season coming? September. So we can get some cupcakes for you. Thank you, September. My birthday is also September. Are you gonna make fun of that?

Boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo. Birthday's coming. Hey! Boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo He's coming. He's the devil. We fell. Shane is in a chow. Sorry. I didn't want to. I didn't, I really didn't want to. I'm fully crying. I didn't want to. And it happened.

I didn't want to. I have a full tear right here. I loved how excited you got immediately the second I slipped up. I was like, ooh, he fucked up! It was like a shark smelling water, smelling blood in the water. I was like he fuck yeah I get to get him. That's the stuff Awful oh my god. I Can't explain to people how giddy we get when one of us like any of the cast like messes up in any sort of way

That's the rest of our eyes And you know it's like, it's my turn. Time to take you down. It's, I see comments sometimes where they're like, aw, they were making fun of them there. I'm like, you don't understand. We all, we all have an understanding here that the second any of us mess up in any way, it's over.

It's done. And like, you might feel bad for someone, but that person you feel bad for, they're gonna do the same thing the second they get a chance. Oh, they're gonna come right back. It's our understanding here. Yeah, exactly.

There is something so, one of my favorite things on Earth is the last of us. Joke. Yeah, the last of us, I will, no. The last sentence of an ongoing joke. Like, people are riffing, and then it's the last one, because it's usually not good.

It's usually not good. It's usually like, oh man. It's like the bit ended. You missed the train. And I do it, I know I do it a lot. I just did it, and that's why you're looking at me. Didn't I? Well, Shane saved you.

Yeah. Oh great, oh wow. But wins again. But it's also a confidence thing too. Like even when you go up, it's just like. Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty. You just have to accept it.

Anyways, so my birthday is September 14th, which is around the time that football comes back. So cupcakes would be nice. What flavor cupcake you fuck with? I could do all sorts of kinds. Strawberry? Sure, I don't know if I've had a strawberry cupcake. Red velvet.

I love red velvet. Love red velvet. That's what we're getting you. I like chocolate and red velvet a lot. But also like Funfetti's. I'm not too much of a hater when it comes to cupcakes. He's not picky when it comes to cupcakes. How about me?

No. Say it. No. Mm-mm. Kay. Booty cupcake? Sure. You like booty cupcake?

Pfft. Walking up to somebody to barbie like, you like booty cupcake? That's my pickup line. And that's a pickup line. There's the pickup line. Full circle. I finally got it. Finally got it.

Okay, who won? All right, we can cut it off. Amanda laughed 22 times. 22 times? That's actually not as much as I thought. Whoa, I thought it was way more. Chance laughed nine times. Nine?

That's it? And then Shane laughed 12 times. Oh. What? What about tears? Tears counts as three. No, tears. Tears count as three.

Okay, so chance one, try not to laugh. All right, you're getting that Cheesecake Factory gift card. That seems so impossible. Oh! We're getting you that turtle cheesecake, read it. Yeah, it's working. No, ew. No, it worked.

I actually, I wanna call all your exes. We can do that. Okay. Okay. Well guys, thank you so much for joining us for Try Not To Laugh. I hope you had a giggly time. Giggly, giggly.

Thank you, Chance. Hey, thank you guys. And remember, if you can't love yourself, thank you guys for watching, bye! Thank you guys for watching. Bye! See you guys later.