Smosh Mouth - Our Biggest Confessions | Smosh Mouth 133

Episode Date: March 2, 2026

I'm sorry we had to break it to you all this way. Go to https://www.Zocdoc.com/SMOSHMOUTH to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. PODCAST:https://bit.ly/SmoshMouthSpotifyhttps://smo.sh/SmoshMouthiHearthttps://bit.ly/SmoshMouthApple0:00 Intro11:29 Sponsor!12:48 This is going really well38:48 New segments underway get excited43:35 Predictions that we’ve never discussed ever before in our lives51:34 Shayne guesses I guess1:00:09 A year of all timeSUBSCRIBE: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshCastWEAR OUR JOKES: https://smosh.comWHO YOU HEARShayne Topp // https://www.instagram.com/shaynetopp/Amanda Lehan-Canto // https://www.instagram.com/filmingamanda/Spencer Agnew // https://www.instagram.com/spennser/WHO YOU DON’T HEAR (usually)Director: Selina GarciaEditor: Rock ColemanProducer: Amanda Lehan-Canto, Shayne Topp, Selina GarciaProduction Designer: Cassie VanceArt Director: Erin Kuschner, Josie BellerbyAssistant Art Director: Courtney ChapmanProp Master: Abby SchmidtStage Manager: Alex AguilarAudio Mixer: Scott NeffDirector of Photography: Brennan IketaniVideographer: Eric Wann, James HullPodcasts Producer: Selina GarciaAssistant Director: Jonathan HyonExecutive Vice President of Production: Amanda BarnesDirector of Production: Alexcina FigueroaProduction Manager: Jonathan HyonProduction Coordinator: Oliver Wehlander, Zianne HooverProduction Assistant: Caroline SmithDirector of Post Production: Luke BakerDIT/Lead AE: Matt DuranDIT/AE: Beni KimuenePost Production Coordinator: Ariana MartinezIT: Tim BakerIT & Equipment Coordinator: Lopati Ho CheeSound Editor: Gareth HirdDirector of Design: Ness CardanoSenior Motion & Branding Designer: Christie HauckGraphic Designer: Monica RavitchDirector of Channel Operations: Lizzy JonesChannel Operations Manager: Audrey CarganillaChannel Operations Coordinator: Sabrina LiebermanDirector of Social Media: Erica NoboaSocial Media Associate Producer: Peter DitzlerSocial Media Manager: Kim WilbornSocial Media Coordinator: Margaux BernalesSocial Editor: Vida RobbinsMerchandising Manager: Mallory MyersBrand Partnership Manager: Chloe MaysBrand Partnerships Coordinating Producer: Liz KummerOperations Manager: Marshall PeaseFinancial Operations Specialist: Natalie LewisTalent Coordinator: Danielle MosesPeople & Culture Manager: Katie FinkFront Office Assistant: Sara FaltersackCEO: Alessandra CataneseExecutive Producers: Anthony Padilla, Ian HecoxEVP of Programming: Kiana ParkerAssociate Producer, Special Projects: Rachel CollisExecutive Assistant: Katelyn HempsteadOTHER SMOSHES:Smosh: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshSmosh Pit: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshPitSmosh Games: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshGamesSmosh Alike: https://bit.ly/SubToSmoshAlikeFOLLOW US:TikTok: https://smo.sh/TikTokInstagram: https://instagram.com/smoshFacebook: https://facebook.com/smosh

What are you drinking? Fuck. Oh. I made like a bunch of beans last night. Really nice beans. Beans? Big, a big old pot of beans. I love beans.

Here we go. That's so fucking funny, Shane. It's really. Sock, Doc. You guys fucking bought this, baby. Sock, Doc. Zuck, Doc. My love, Zock, Doc.

Here you go. Welcome to Smosh. I'm Shane. And I'm Amanda. And today with us, our special guest, Spencer. Hey. Hey, Spencer. Dude.

Dude, Shane, you're so fucking funny, man. Well, it's up. Okay, so we have so much to talk about. Hi, Spencer. And my funny too, you didn't say anything about me. Your mom. Spencer. You can't just say my mother.

You can't. Seriously. You guys, we have, should we talk about something? We have a lot to talk to. Okay. Yes, thank you. It's our,

uh, you're, I'm sure you remember two years ago we did an April Fool's episode where I had a big announcement. Um, and this year we're talking big announcements over here.

Amanda, you're back. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I've gone for a while. Thank you. Yeah.

Um, I'm back. And I, lots of changes in my life. Talk about him I'm feeling I'm feeling a little bloated today bloated of the breasts

Nope I'm permanently bloated Spencer I've been trying to Canes bloated Okay so Talk to us about the changes in your body Yeah I

Since I have been gone I have been eating so much You know Same Yeah what are you eating I'm trying to visit every single Chili's in North America. No way. I love Chili's.

Get closer to the mic. I've been trying to visit every... Sorry, I'm not used to be in front of the camera. I've been trying to visit every single Chili's in North America. I love Chili's. On the East Coast, we have Chili's, but it's actually... They actually serve fish. It's Chili's, but...

It's Chili's, but fish. It's an East Coast thing. Dude, can you imagine if there was, like, Chili's, and then they set up, like, a... internet bar right next to it so we can like eat chilies and then go and play with the internet with it and then like have desktops that would actually be really amazing like then i could be like on the internet and with the chicken yeah like you can play games all day all night and then go and have some sampler pad clatters and then go back and play games and like 24 hours that'd be amazing i would do that with a book i'm reading um um unlearning gender and dragons right now

Yeah, oh my God. Oh my God, that's by that guy who looks like, what's that guy from? Oh, no. What's he from? Oh, no, we're doing it again. That guy, what's he? You know who I'm talking about, though.

Amanda. You know who I'm talking about? Amanda, figure it out. Okay, seriously, he's the guy. Ed Norton. Yes, Ed Norton. Ed Norton. Yes.

You knew that. You knew that. No, for sure. He's making it an anime. You're kind of like the Ed Norton of Smosh. Babe. Babe. Yeah.

You're fucking funny, Shane. You're so fucking. And who does that make me? You guys? You guys? Who does that make me? Maybe sort of like the... Oh, I, like, a little bit like,

Winona writer? Why would you be Winona writer? I don't know. Why would you be Winona? Someone told me I looked like in one time. Why would you be Winona? I just with someone, back on the...

Okay. East Coast. Someone told me I. Okay, welcome to the pod. That was a little just. banter between us. We've got a big episode. We have a big episode. You think you're Winona Ryder?

I didn't, I didn't say that. I actually can't believe. Do you know Stranger Things? You watch that? I watched, I watched the first two seasons. Okay. And I don't know, I could not keep with it. It's the best show ever.

And I just could not, I could not get into it. There was something off about it. What was off about it? I don't. Okay, we're trying to get Amanda to watch TV this year. And I think it's going to be a good journey for you.

I think it'll be good for you. Spence, you good? I'm just imagining her watching TV. Like, I can't imagine you watching TV. You probably have one of those, like, DVD cassettes. I love DVD cassettes. Of course you do. I had so many DVD.

Because you know what? Actually, growing up on the East Coast. I had so many DVD cassettes and we would put them in all the time and sleepless in Seattle. I've never seen that. That's a good one. That's a good one.

That's a good one. I've never seen that. It is one of my top 15 favorite movies I've ever seen. I bet your favorite movie is you've got male. I love you've got mail. Of course. Love actually. Love actually.

Yeah. Okay, but what's your favorite anime? Shane, I don't watch... Do you even fucking watch anime? I've actually, I've never seen an anime. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

It's just not... I've, you know, I've never really tried to get into it, but I don't know. I just don't think it's my kind of... Do you know what? Do I... What? It's a real life. It's a real life story.

Stop. You're being mean to me. Stop, Shane, you're being mean. You're being mean to me. We love you, Amanda. We love you, Amanda. We love you, Amanda. We take out the wheel and see all the shit.

Amanda doesn't know. Five. Do you know five? Like the number? No. Five. Five, the game. Gum?

Five gum? No, five the game. Hey, Shane, stop. Shane. Stop. But Amanda's not the only one that doesn't know stuff. Amanda's teaching me music, right? What?

You're teaching me music. music? Yes, I'm trying to teach you music. Chappelle Rhone. It's Chappel Rhone. I think that's one of my top four albums of the year. Chappelle Rhone. You liked it. Chappelle Rone. One of my top four of the year. I don't know what that is. What's going on?

Oh, nothing. What are you doing down there? Nothing. What are you doing? Nothing. Let's just keep going. So we do have a big episode today. We are going to make some predictions. Yeah, we'll start off with a kind of big announcement from me and you. Yeah, we have a big announcement.

Just telling the pod, fam, 26, me and Amanda have a short film coming out. We've been working on it for quite a long time. And you guys are going to get to see it. And you guys are going to get to see it. It's really, I think it's really a beautiful story. and it's one that we really like only us could tell yeah and you guys yeah we've been working on it

Shane you didn't tell me about this I did baby I mean Spence you didn't you didn't tell me about it baby no no no no did you just call him no have you heard of the game Scott Scott did she did

did he call him baby no no Scott said yes it's a game it's actually no it's a game that me and Shane made up it's me and Shane secret game right Scott no

Shane You called him baby. You watch the game on Sunday? It's a game. You watch the game? It's a game, Amanda. My God, those off sides calls. I was like, no.

Courtney was like, is there a dying bird in here? And I went, no, babe, it's me crying about off sides. Making that short film. And then, guys, big deal for the channel. We're hitting one million subscribers. And you know what we promised when we hit one.

Shane. I'm so happy watch me dance. That's the... So good. All right. Hit the music for one million subscribers. No, no, no, no.

Shane, you're the best fucking dance ever seen. I love you, baby. What? Oh, nothing. I was thinking about ten things I hate about you. Have you guys seen that movie? Have you guys seen that movie? My favorite movie's, uh...

You could say your favorite movie, baby. You could say. I think we're talking to each other telepathically right now. And that's really cute. What is that? Telepathically? Telepathic? No, you don't do this.

You have to know some stuff. I do, I do, I do. East Coast. But wait, you have that, um... Okay, so we're catching up. Sorry, it's just been crazy. The podcast is kind of just like follow the fun. So what we're talking about, we're talking about all the things,

1 million subscribers is a big deal. Amanda's been gone. You have that song about maternity leave that you wanted to sing? I have been working on a song about maternity leave. I feel like there's not enough songs by pregnant women for pregnant women. And so I've been working on a couple of songs that are focusing on both birth and after birth and pre-birth. And Boston, too. And Boston Rob.

Boston Rob. Boston Rob. We're going to get him on the pod this year. That's one of my predictions. Boston Rob is coming on Smosh Mouth this year. And Hillary Clinton. No. She's not stooping that low.

I'm going to guess. I'm going to guess. She'll come on. Okay, sing your song. Sing it. Right now? But I'm going to turn it. I can't sing right now.

Is it going to be gross and bloody? No, I mean, childbirth is not easy. Ew. It is not easy. and there are parts that no one talks about. There are parts, yeah, there are parts that no one talks about and one of them has to do with vagina. Ew!

And there's a lot of liquids and there's... Weir! Ew! What? Whirr! Well, there's actually, like, they come all out of you from different parts of your body. There's blood sometimes. What? Blood?

No. Blood? Yeah, yeah, there is. Yeah, there is. Wait. Can we order stop talking? Whoa. We're back to tell you that this episode of Smoshmouth is sponsored by Zock Doc. Shane, I'm going to call you out right now. We just got back. What did I do?

Oh, you know what you've done. You've been putting off your doctor's appointments. Oh, okay, I've been caught. There's no need to make it hard on yourself, buddy. Zocduck is a free app and website that helps you find and book high quality in-network doctors so you can find someone you love. All you have to do is download the app

or go to their website. You can filter by location, in-network providers, and the type of specialty. I really should see my primary care physician. You need to, like now. And your dentist, and your dermatologist. Make it easy on yourself.

And if you don't want to go in person, you can find a doctor who does video visits. Well, that does make it easier. It is so easy. I use Zock-Doc all the time, and honestly, I can find in-network doctors in my insurance within 48 hours. So stop putting off those doctors' appointments and go to Zock.com slash Smoshmouth to find and instantly book a doctor you love today. That's Zoc-D-O-C dot com slash smoshmouth. Zuck-D-D-C-com slash smoshmouth. Thanks Zock-Doc-Dock for sponsoring this message.

Now back to the show. Selena, Selena, Selena, Selena, Selena, Selena, Selena. Are you counting how many times we laughed? Selena, Selena. Sorry, can we stop down for a second? Are you stopping down? Stopping down for a second. You guys, I think this is going really well.

I've played four tonight. I played Fortnite last night. I played Fortnite for six hours last night. Shut up. Seriously, you were being too fucking loud. What are you doing? What are you talking to? Baby Cole's down there and I have to fucking...

Your babies? You brought your baby? Yeah, I couldn't get a sitter today. We're all... She's supposed to put him, Spend? on Wednesdays. Literally, where else is she supposed to have a good end? Can I show everyone your baby?

Yeah, you can pick him up or whatever. Whoa. Stop, baby Cole. Spencer is no. I swear to good dispenser. Stop. Yeah, if you're good at me, I'll put you in a games video. Is this okay? Is that crazy?

Give him some water. It's Kickstart, dude. Hey, you want to be in Flip 7? Is that tap water? Was that tap water? You want to be in Flip 7? Spencer That was a kickstart

Theodore Roosevelt was the 26th president of the United States Anyway Are we ready to get back in You're so fucking smart sweetheart These case we talk about the things We're promising Hold on no no no put him back down We're going around the table

And we're saying a hot take Things you're promising for 2026 And you're hear me out Okay I have to hear me out But then you also have to say What we're going to do for One million subscribers

Okay I actually It's a game It's a game It's a game. What's the game? So you just say your hot take. Say what we'll promise. Say you hear me out.

And if you laugh, you have to go wash your face. Okay, I'll go first. Okay. Wash my face? I don't know. I have like three more episode of Smosh him out today. I can't wash my face in between. Watch my face.

I haven't watched my face in three years. That's the truest thing that'll be said today. Okay. What are you promising for a million subscribers? For a million subscribers, I am promising to try. Stop. Shane. You're so mean to me.

I am trying to She always says I'm mean to her You are mean to me. I'm not that mean. No, he's not. I don't... He's not mean. He's just drinking water. Just drinking my cup of Gordo beans.

Okay, so what do you want to promise? I am promising to ride my bike more. But wait. If we get a million subscribers, I am riding my bike more. Yes. Can you do that with like,

after having a baby? It's actually really hard. Oh! Because the bike seat, it actually pushes up against my vagina. Does your vagina just eat the entire seat? Oh! You guys, it doesn't eat the...

It's not gross. It is not gross. Do you have to get like an extra, extra large, like, seat? It is, yes, they have post-marriage bicycle Post marriage. Post marriage. Wait, what if we built you one with like a chair like this and put two wheels?

I've been saying we should do that on the channel. Can you ride a bicycle indoors? Because I don't want to go outside. They have like soul cycle. Wait, this is the year Spence gets on Peloton. Spencer, you've never been on Peloton? I love. It's only been 15 minutes.

Holy shit. Spencer, what are you going to do to celebrate Smoshcast for 1 million subscribers? Probably rewatch Lord of the Rings. Backwards. I actually never seen it. What? I know. I know.

Probably going to be Chinese. You're going to be Chinese? Yeah. Spencer. I was, I thought, you know, I thought I was Chinese. for like seven years in my life. Is that real? Well, that's so interesting because one of the parts of moving to L.A.

is that I discovered Chinese. On the East Coast, we do not have Chinese. I grew up on the East Coast, too, and I thought I was the only Chinese person in my school. Where are you from? D.C. How did I not know this? How did you not know this?

Yeah, I'm from D.C. I literally have my, okay, so my... It's just not my entire identity, like, you know. And my sister, I actually... Okay, so my sister's husband, he actually went to college near D.C. in Boston. Uh-huh. And he told me that he had been to D.C. And there are, like, a lot of people are in D.C.

Yeah, a lot of people are in D.C. I thought I was the only Chinese person in D.C. Okay. So I actually have a very, it's like a, I have a connection. I have, like, a lot of D.C. connections. Yeah. Okay, so you're gonna be more Chinese for one million subscribers. I'm gonna be more Chinese.

You're gonna write, oh guys, look. What? I got a voicemail from Courtney. Oh my God. I'm gonna listen to it. Right now? Yeah. Okay.

Hey, Shane. I know you're busy, probably filming Reddit stories or recording a Zoc doc ad or some stuff like that, but I'm just calling because I think you did that thing again last night where you sleepwalk and take protein powder into the bathroom to eat raw. That's so fucking punishing. As you sit on the toilet.

I don't understand why we can't work this out with your therapist, but I'm really getting stressed out because now there's protein powder all over the toilet seat. Okay, please call me back. Please call me back. Thank you.

Dude, dude, dude. Do you ever just feel like your wife's a bitch? She's nagging you for stupid shit. Like, you have to... She made that up, right? I wouldn't do that. You would never do that, Shane. I know, I've, like, known you for so long.

And we're going to cut that, right? Because we should be talking about, like, the Smoshcast and stuff and, like, hit one million subscribers. But, like, I would, like, I, like, I don't use protein powder. This is all beans and stuff. Selena, we're going to cut that. Selina, we're going to cut that, right? Yeah. Okay, too, might hear me out?

Dude, I will never put her in flip seven again. and if you just tell me. You just tell me, and I won't never. I have one. I have one. You have a hot taker. I have a hear me out.

I can't believe that. I have one. We're cutting that. Yeah, yeah, what's it? What's it? Okay. Okay, my hear me out. So, he is,

God, what is his name? Oh, God. What is his name? He's the one, you know who I'm talking about, though. You know who I'm talking about, though. You can be no clues to start from, so, like, just any clue. Okay, well, he has,

he's the guy from that he's in that movie Spencer Spitz he has he has it's not the original one it's the it's the second or third one that they made and it's not okay so there's the

oh my god there's Mark Ruffalo it's not Mark Ruffalo it's not Mark Ruffalo but he's the one before Mark Ruffalo before in what in what context before in the movie in the big it's not uh in uh I feel

Eric Banna. It's Eric Banna. That's my Hear Me Out. Of course. Spence, do you ever hear me out? Yeah, easy. Bunny from Zootopia. That's a good one.

Honestly, I would have guessed Shania Twain for you. I love Shania Twain. I'm just getting into her music. I love her. I'm just getting into her music. Really? Growing up, we listened to Shania Twain all the time. Yes.

Yes. I'm getting into that. I'm getting into, um, iTunes. iTunes. That is exciting. No, it's like, Corts's showing me some stuff.

I love, I love iTunes. Courts showing you some stuff? Literally. Yeah, and we had a lot of listeners on our last episode. We were talking about... The app, the News Today app. Yes, she's showing me people.com.

Yes, the people.com app. Yes. That's crazy. Okay. Is this what you guys do on Smoshamaz? Just talk about? Spencer, yes. Stupid shit.

Okay, Spencer, what are things? Letterbox. Love letterbox. I do love letterbox. What movie did you just see recently? Tampopo. It's really a fun movie. And you saw, yeah.

It's about a Japanese ramen shop. Raman? Have you ever had that? I've had ramen. Yeah. Yeah. Did you have any weird cravings? After you're...

Oh my God. After having a baby? Yes. I had so many cauliflower crust. Ew! Love... It's actually really good. And it is super low calorie, and they say you are supposed to eat it because it helps the babies.

It helps their stool be a little more firm. Ew. And so I was eating so much cauliflower crust because I was like, I want my baby's stool to be firm. Wait, the baby was pooping inside of your stomach? Yeah, the baby actually poops. No, okay, wait, we're going to talk about this. Ew! Okay, we're going to spin the wheel and learn about where the baby poops.

Six. Where does the baby poop in your stomach? Six. So it's actually in a sack inside of me, and I am eating, and so the baby is actually eating through the nutrients that I eat, through the umbilical cord and the food goes in and then the baby has to shit so maybe um where does it go it goes inside of me so you're just a belly full of shit well i mean spencer that's disgusting it's not just it's actually not disgusting dude that is disgusting and that's one of

the songs on the album is all about that it is all about um Shane dude you're so mean to me I never want to mean to me I don't keep saying this year on Swashbara I'm mean to you it's crazy I'm not I'm not You are Shane's the nicest person in the world You'll see it in the short You'll see it in the short

Okay It's time we play some games Just kidding Yes finally Games Yes Spence what do you want to do What do I want to do Oh my god

Should we Moose Master Flip 7 What do you... Sorry. You have two babies? There's two? There's two under there.

There's two baby coals, but we just name them both Cole. Whoa, that's your big announcement on today's episode. You have twins and they're both named Cole. And you're not wearing any shoes. Amanda's not wearing any shoes. Amanda's not wearing any shoes. After you get back from childbirth, your feet are bloated, and no one talks about that. Ew!

And you guys. It is not gross. It is not gross. Hey, so my mom told me that after you give birth, the mother poop is like really watery for like two months. That is true. It is mostly water. I read that in a book.

Your passing water, yeah. I'm reading this book about Coney 2012. Oh. Yeah, I'm reading about, no, I'm reading this book about Snapchat and the way it's showing culture like two sides. I do not have Snapchat. You don't like it? I do not like Snapchat.

Oh my God, my phone's buzzing. How do you feel about breastfeeding? I love breastfeeding. I love it. Can I get a little bit at my Mountain Dew? Yes. No! Guys, Smoshcast is hitting 1 million subscribers,

and Spence is going to drink Amanda's tinning milk. This is some weird fans of fucking shrie. I've, like, grossed out. I don't know. The way you're putting it into the thing, I think the fantasy is over. Is that what this looks like when you're... Is that what it looks like? Are you popping into my cup?

You're getting jealous. Shut up! Oh my God, and I got another call. It's probably Courtney apologizing. Do you mind if I listen to this? We'll cut it out. Damn, it smells really sweet. Jesus Christ.

Hey Shane, it's Courtney calling again. I just want to let you know that I found your stash, okay? Yep, I found your secret stash. What is that fucking mean? This is some freaky shit that you have under our mattress, and I, I don't even know what to say. Unless you want to fall down the stairs for real this time. Come stay with me. Okay, fucking crazy person.

I feel like she's being a bitch, right? She's being a fucking bitch. She's actually being really mean to you, Shane. And I know you're mean to me, but she's being mean. We're going to cut all that out, right? Selena. We're cutting that. We're cutting that, right?

I never say this, but I'm actually really worried about you. Okay, let's talk about the Broncos. Yes. I think the Broncos, so Broncos didn't go to this. Yeah. Sorry. You're okay. Let me just like shake it off.

You're so okay. Dude, your wife is like the witch in Fortnite. No, I love my wife. She's amazing. What is that? The witch. You don't know the witch? The witch from Fortnite. It's like this big long teradactyl, like a really long beak. And then the talons are so long and it just scratches you.

And the witch is also an alcoholic. Okay, let's talk about the Broncos. So this year I said I would get a perm if they went to the Super Bowl. They didn't. So. That's what I'm here to say. Baby, you can still get a perm. It would look good on you.

Shane, you would actually look really good with a perm. Really? Yeah. We can look like each other. Because I got... God, look at that head of hair under you. Let's see it. Holy shit.

Spenser, I love your hair. Stop, stop, stop, stop. I don't like the attention. I don't like the attention. It's too much. I don't like it. You don't like attention, that's true. I don't like attention at all.

It's too. much. That's one of my favorite things about you, Spencer. Really? Yes. What? You don't like attention, that you are so personable and loving and kind to me, and you always know how to lift up my spirits and the hugs you give.

The long, intense hugs. You like this kind of hug? Yes. I love giving side hugs. Okay, let's spin the wheel. Anyway, we have another announcement. We are going to... Pride this year.

I'm probably going to stay home. I've never been. I thought about going on the East Coast, but there's, like, so many people there already, and so I was like, I don't know if I can go. Me and Amanda, we're going to pride this year. I'm just going to say it. I love the LGBTQ community.

I just don't like people in general. Yeah. So I can't be around a lot of people. So Spence is not coming to us to pride, but we're going to pride this year. We are going to pride. I'm nervous because there's going to be like a lot of women there. And lesbians, I don't know what it is, but they absolutely love me. They absolutely love me.

Shane, what was that? No, Shane, stop. Don't! No, oh. I feel bad. You're so mean. But it's kind of funny. Shane.

Shane, that, you're so mean. Do not dunk on me. I'm not mean, you. I don't know why we're all saying that. Don't dunk on me. Okay, so update, we're going to pride. And if this video gets enough likes, we'll go as the chosen and Sarah Christ. Oh, I'll go as chosen.

Yeah. I love being chosen. Two gay chosen and one straight Sarah Christ. Yeah. They should really put the S in LGBTQIA plus. And what's the S stand for? Straight. Straight girl.

So SG. Straight girl. No, that wouldn't make sense. I like straight girls. Spencer. Are you hitting on me? No. Okay.

That'd be crazy. I'm loyal to one woman. One woman only. Spence. Not Olivia's mom. Oh yeah, you're obsessed with Olivia's mom. Yeah. This year, you're going to talk to her?

It's like unrequited love You know that movie in the mood for love? Yeah I'm that guy And Olivia's mom is the female character And we just like pass each other by We don't say anything And it's all about yearning

You know Yeah Yeah I love to yearn You love to yearn Yeah I love to yearn I'm reading a book right now About yearning and vegetables It's about how vegetables

are the biggest yearners of all. No. Yeah. Is that true? Yeah. God. You're so fucking smart

and funny. Dude. Check on when you watch. Check on one. G-shock. Oh. New segment. Watch time.

Watch time. We're going to talk about our watches. That is a really nice one, Shane. Where did you get that from? I got at the farmer's market at like 4 a.m. I love the farmer's market. Yeah. It is one of my favorite places.

I go, and there is this woman back on the East Coast. There are a little bit different. They actually sell fruits at the farmer's market. No way. On the East Coast, yes. I'm pretty sure a farmer's market, sell fruits. Oh, I've never seen one in L.A., but on the East Coast, they have, like, strawberries and blueberries.

We have that here. Yeah. Okay. Well, I'm sure the East Coast one is a little bit different because they actually sell them right next to, like, they have like flower stands as well. They have those two. Yeah.

Oh, no, but the East Coast one is different. So the East Coast a farmer's market could be similar to the West Coast. That doesn't mean really anything.

I'm pretty sure. I would actually wouldn't know. Because it's in a different place. And therefore, it's probably a little bit different because they, you know, they grow different things

and the people are different there and there's, they have different. It's okay if they're not different. No, it's different because it's on the East Coast. You're getting really defensive. I'm not getting,

I'm not kidding defensive. And this video is going to be really weird if you are like this. The video's also probably going to be like 10 minutes because we have to cut out when you were like breastfeeding and all of my like. Oh, we were recording? Drama. Yeah. Oh. How's coal?

Can I hold him? There's two coals. Which one do you want? Either one. Cole one or beta coal. Beta coal? This is Cole one. This is Cole one?

Oh my God. Give me the other coal. Beta coal. Get out of your beta-cly. Hey, why do you hate that? Out of your older baby. This one's small. That's Betacol?

Oh, I get it. Dude. Hey, you think I can breastfeed? Oh my god. We hit a million subscribers. Spence is gonna breastfeed this year. Spencer. What?

You can't. Men cannot breastfeed. I'm pretty sure anyone with nipples can breastfeed. Actually, no. No. What do you mean? Why are you doing that? Only women can lactate. Okay, so why don't you tell us a little bit about your lactating?

Ew. So inside women there is a chromosome, and it creates... It creates estrogen. Drink. And the estrogen actually hyper... What's it called? Hyperstimulates your circulatory system. And once it starts going, you start producing... Where does baby close the fingers?

How is he going to play Fortnite if you have no fingers, literally? And the calcium in your body, if you eat well, it actually reflects what's going on in your body. And so then you're able to... Oh! You're able to... It's diPagot on me! Lactate for... Baby Cole's playing Fortnite.

It gives the baby the nutrients because the breast milk is preserved. Blue, 42. And once the breast milk is... And a lot of women... Pina. Control 8. Control 8. They started filling bathtubs with the breast milk.

And once the breast milk is in the bathroom, you can actually take a breast milk bath. Wait. Coldering the splits? Coldering the splits? Because your baby is able to absorb the nutrients. Cole's dancing on a keyboard. The nutrients that you absorb is actually really healthy for you and your baby.

It's a bonding experience. And I've heard that it is really good for your skin. It sooth things out. Remember that live? where I painted a butt. And so that's basically, thank you for asking, that's basically what breast milk does.

What? You want to play Farmville? You want to play Farmville? Cole wants to play Farmville. This is incredible. Are they annoying you? No, I'm actually... No, we don't play Call of Duty, Cole. We play Fortnite. I'm actually really hoping. I'm actually... I'm actually really hoping.

I don't know how to hold babies. Why is your baby being weird? Stop being weird. Stop! I swear to God if you embarrass me at work, I am going to be so mad. I'm going to be... I'm livid. You both are acting terribly. I cannot bring you to work if you are going to act like this.

You are embarrassing, Mommy. I like to play video games. Betacle shut your fucking mouth! You know what, kid... Hey, hey! Hey! Come here, baby. Come here, baby.

Come here, boy. Mama loves you. Mama freaking loves you. Mama what? Do you want to raise this one together? Mama would do anything for you. Yeah, I'm down. Ew.

What is going on? Selena, we have to cut all this. Shane and I are going to have this one. We're going to have a baby together. You can have Beta Cole. What's the short film about? Okay, so. You never told me about this short film.

So me and Amanda made it. We're going to release it this year. And we're really excited because it tells the story of how we met. What? It tells the story of how we met. It's ruined it in one shot. It sounds really bad. It's actually really interesting.

It's really because we met. At work. At work. And it's a different way than other people met at work. Pretty sure I put you guys in a video. It was a game's video. And so it's the story of. that first games video that we were together.

I put you guys in the games video. And you're kind of in it. Yeah. Oh, okay. But we have that short and yeah. So we had Trevor play you. What? We had Trevor play you. What? Yeah, we had Trevor play you. Why? What? We had Trevor play you. Why didn't you guys tell me? Well, Spence, uh, you. You were busy, I think. You were busy. Yeah, I think you were like in a thumbnail meeting.

But, no, we're going to do that short. And hopefully if enough people want to see it, we'll screen it somewhere. Excuse me. Chain. My burps are so small. I actually don't care. Yeah. I don't care. No, it's all good.

It's all good. Dude, it's all good. It's all good. It's really not a big deal. I didn't say it was it. It is not a big deal. And like people get recast all the time. Literally.

And it is not a big deal. Literally. I would know. Okay. So we have some new segments this year that we're going to do. We do have some new segments. We're really excited about them. We actually brought Spencer on because we wanted to try one of the new segments with him.

Okay. And it is pass or don't pass. What? Literally. Who produced this? We say, Selena. Oh. Selena?

So it's pass or no pass? And so you give someone a pass or no pass. And then each player has $5. And you can buy a pass. Okay. So first round. Um, airplanes. Pass.

Okay, that's $5 for me. Okay, my turn. This game makes no sense. No, it does. It does. It's really good. It's really good. Ready, ready, ready.

Julia Roberts. No pass. No pass. Okay, no $5 for me. This is, this game doesn't make any sense. Trust it, trust it. This is not a game. Your turn.

This is not a game. Your turn. Trust it. If you, yeah, trust it. Okay. Just say anything or anyone? No. No, so now you owe us $10.

That was $10. What? If you say a sentence, you have to play 10. Because it has to be one thing. You have to say, that's kind of it. Okay, I've got one. And this is why I'm ever on the show. Steamers.

Specifically, they're like an East Coast. You did a sentence. Damn it, $10. So a word? Because I had to tell you what steamers are. You said a sentence. You probably, ah. Oh my God.

Here, let me help you up. Shane, your butt. Your butt is so tight. Yeah, it's good. Shane, your tight little butt. Oh, that's a segment. We're retiring this year. You're talking about my butt.

I love it. I honestly love butts. Time for this. Five. Five. Okay, next round of pass is the hard one. Okay. Okay.

Wait, oh my God. I literally didn't talk about steamers. Okay, so on the East Coast, they're not like muscles. They are kind of like clams. And you put them in the top of, there's like one of those boiling water things. Hey, this one's crying. And, oh, yeah, yeah. And there's one of those boiling water things.

And so you take the pot with boiling water and you actually salt it. And then you have this colander that goes on top. Oh, shit. And you put the steamers, which are like these clams in the top of the thing. And so you put the lid on top and you start boiling it. And what happens is the steam rises. Oh, oh. And it opens up these clams.

And once the clams open up, they become like really moist and kind of like gooey, which is like so, it's like so nasty. But they actually taste really good. So you take them out of the colander and you strain them. And then you serve them with like butter and oil and oregano. And it's only on the East Coast because they only grow on the East Coast. So like Maryland and Virginia. a book about like the origins of understanding. They actually serve them at a couple places here in L.A.

but they're all like East Coast-inspired restaurants. So they're not technically L.A. More pass. Okay. Second round of pass is a different kind of game called Waterslide vocabulary. Okay. Family guy.

Spencer. Spencer, that's not how you play. That's not how you play. Okay. Boobies. Okay. What? Pass.

I'm passing on boobies? I'm passing. You're passing, okay. My turn? Yeah. Chlorine. Amanda would say some shit like that. It's in the...

Chlorine is in the water and it cleans... This is a good one. This is a good one. I'm going to say... False. I thought it was pass or not pass. It's round two. There's...

It's vocabulary, water slide. Okay. So are you saying false or not pass? False not pass. False not pass. False not pass was correct. This game has no strategy. Good job, Spence.

Thank you. Okay. Now we're going to move on to predictions. We're going to predict some stuff that we think's going to happen. We were making some jokes about it before, but let's actually predict stuff that we're going to do it. That's going to happen at Smosh this year. I think. Smosh.

I think someone is going to. to watch Smosh from Death Row. I'm just saying it. I'm just saying it. I have a feeling. Okay, that's nuts. That's nuts. That's nuts. Slash, write that down. That's crazy. I think a

pigeon is going to jack off to an episode of Smosh Mal. Shane. Shane. Shane, no. Do pigeons even jack off? Do they even do that? Spence knows. Spence, is a joke? Do you think pigeons jack off?

Pigeons for sure jack off with their talents. Predictions for this year at Smosh? I think that probably we're going to do Smosh Summer Games inside of Chili's. That's right, you guys, today we are announcing Smosh Summer Games chain restaurant edition. Yeah. So like the teams are all. all based on big chains. It's crazy. We got it sponsored.

We're pretty excited about it. It's literally crazy. I'm not allowed to say what team I'm on, but you guys are really going to love it. Hey, you good? Do you need some coconut water or something? Oh, coconut water. I love coconut water. Yeah, of course. Amanda

would say some shit like that. And during pregnancy, they say that drinking coconut water is really good for your babies, the mucus in it. I read a book about mucus. Yeah. Okay, and then Predictions. Okay. I think I think there is going to be

Oh, sorry. I think you just like sort of interrupted me right and it's kind of been like about you this whole time, right? Okay, we've been like playing with your babies and stuff And we'll cut this out right go go ahead. My wife like fucking reamed me that's what I was gonna say It's the false claim she's putting against my name that I bring protein power to the bathroom every now When you're sleepwalking you can't control when you're sleepwalking and you're sleeping respectfully and I'm not trying to trying to like, I'm not trying to put you under the gun. I am just trying to say what I have seen personally at the workplace. I don't eat protein powder in the bathroom. I don't know what you do with the protein powder in the bathroom, but I do know that you do take it in during lunch.

You take in... And what's wrong with that, Amanda? Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. What is wrong with that? It's not what I'm saying.

Thank you. What I'm saying is that you are taking protein powder into the bathroom, which is not a normal place. It's not easy being shank talking. at Smosh. Do you know he's so popular? He can't just be eating powder outside. If you're gonna talk about what I do in the bathroom, then why don't you talk about what you do in that pump room? Yeah. Because we all hear the TV in there. You got a TV in there and you have a slot machine in there and you have a buttling some ways. Don't do that.

I woke me to a.m. I went to the farmer's market. Then I went to the gym. And sure, I took a whole thing of protein powder and I ever, I fucking downed it while my wife was just being beautiful. Shane's hate witnessing how hard his life is. And if at Smosh, we can just help him a little bit, just a little bit to make him feel a little bit better. How fucking rooms. Not every. I'm sorry.

I didn't think about it like that. It is probably really hard to maintain your muscles and the effort that goes into that. and I wasn't thinking about it and all I did was give birth like that's right like how are we gonna learn about wine now and you're talking about going on a bicycle or something like literally like what even is that?

I'm talking about writing bikes and I'm not thinking about how hard it is to keep up your physique like that is so typical Amanda that it's just like me it's just like I'm sorry it's just like you know this year's like hard for me already I'm like trying to get into fashion and I'm trying to get into like I'm gonna finish reading the encyclopedia by the end of this year and the Bible

and I'm trying to like literally I'm on I'm on Instagram fashion pages I do you see do you see how hot court is do you know what I have to keep posting yes look at court's Instagram court is literally a baddie I don't know how to look at that you don't know how to look at Instagram what do you know how to open it up what do you mean you know how to see the home page I don't really understand and I have yeah Amanda was off Instagram for like Two years. Do you remember that? Yes. And you're like, and, and Amanda was like, I'm not going to be on Instagram for a long time.

And then she came back. I think today. Two years later. I'm happy you were here, Spence. Because I think this is the last episode. Yeah. What? Yeah.

More room for games. No, it's, what are you talking about? I'm not going to, I'm not going to, if you're going to do this to me. I'm not going to do this to, Shane, I'm literally not. I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to tell you what I experienced. You've changed Amanda ever since you had a baby. changed like it's not my fault you just like started pumping into my cup I didn't even want it to you so inappropriate that was so weird and you made us all

uncomfortable and we didn't know what to do I'm like don't do this is like my I thought you're supposed to explain needs to you ask for that no no we didn't ask about it and I'm sorry I guess I guess I just like I don't know I just needed to release okay I don't know what game you're trying to play Amanda spin just spin Just spin, Shane. Just spin. Nina, just spin. Five again.

So I guess I talk about where the baby shits. No, no, no, no. So after the baby is born, it shits into its fucking diaper, I guess. I'm hoping to see the Broncos play once this year. That's a prediction. Dude, you see those videos of the viral videos of people go to chilies and they order the mozzarella stick and there's that long cheese pole? Yeah. Watch that for 50 hours straight.

Finally, we're talking about something that matters. Jesus. That's amazing. What'd you do? You watch it for 50 hours? Jerk off to it. Spencer. Spencer. I actually did see one of those videos on my Facebook wall, and I was scrolling through. You have to get off Facebook wall.

You have to, dude. I was scrolling through. I'm addicted. It's brutal. It's funny. They are funny. They are funny. I was scrolling through, and I, you know, how I am on my Facebook. I am so, I am so addicted. I cannot get off of there. And...

Yeah, tell us about your Facebook wall. And something that I saw the other day on a Facebook wall, I saw this video, and I cannot tell if it is AI or not. And I was, like, putting on my glasses, and I was like, what is this? And it was, like, this dog. And it looked like it was kind of dancing in a way. And it was, but I was like, dogs can't dance like that. Like, dogs are not.

like on two legs. And so I was like, so is this real or is this not real? Oh, I'm so tired. That's the first physical activity I've ever done. Stop talking, Amanda. I'm so tired. Jesus. Sorry.

Okay. This is the segment where, I guess. Okay, I look at my Facebook. Which, by the way, I'm going to say it. It's all rigged. I know exactly what's happening. I read all the lists. Spencer, I'm going to look at my Facebook,

and you have to guess if it's on my wall. or not. Okay. That's not Facebook. Amanda, Amanda's on Instagram Reels because she can't tell the difference between Facebook and Instagram Reels. It says meta. Oh my God. I thought meta was Facebook.

I'm going to guess one's about true crime. One's about an article of celebrities. And the other one is about making jello shots. Or the other one's going to be about how scary or climate is right now. Do you guys want to talk about that? I actually can't get to it

I have cricket, so. You have cricket wireless? Yes, so I have no service. Honestly? Honestly, Amanda? Respect. Respect. Crazy.

Okay. Okay, guess what's on my, if I had a Facebook wall? Guess what would be on my Facebook wall? Okay. Pictures. And whoever guess is right, I'm going to give him a kiss. I have to guess right. Okay, let me get it.

I have to guess right. Okay, um, okay, okay. A picture of Stewie on Shamoo. Hell yeah. Kiss me in front of Cole. The camera won't see. Fucking Cole. Sorry about the tongue.

Okay, okay, I have a guess. I have a guess. I have a guess, Spencer, for what might be on your wall. Okay. It's going to take a long time. Like, I don't know. The K-pop demon hunters, but all three of them are pregnant. What about that?

Dude, that's accurate. Nice! That's awesome. Yeah. Thank you for that, by the way. That was really nice. Thank you for what? Spence.

Just don't worry about it. I just feel like this year we're getting closer. Yeah, closer than last year. I feel like we're getting closer. I remember when you sent me that. I think I'm also getting... Remember when you sent me that voicemail? I think I have a voicemail from Spencer.

Did you guys see the movie? Amanda, shut the fuck up! Sorry, I thought, um... I thought it was my turn. Shut the fuck up! Yeah, I mean... Shut up, Amanda. I have that voicemail you sent me last year that I keep every day.

You have a voicemail that you keep every day? Yeah. You have to save it every day. Hey, Shane, it's Spence. Just, you know, driving into work, seeing how you're doing. You remember this? I was worried about you. Yeah, last night was great.

I had a lot of fun, but, you know, I've been, I've been thinking a lot about what you said when I was leaving, and I think I'm ready. Yeah. Yeah, so just, you know, whenever, yeah, I think I'm ready. So, you know, just, you don't have to call back, but, you know, if you want to text or anything, you know. Yeah. All right. Love you. What are you ready for?

I'm ready. I've been ready this whole time. What are you guys ready for? I want to... I'll book us the tickets. If you... Where are you guys going? Are you going to the East Coast?

Amanda. Shut the Boston. We're just not. Or Boston? Why not? Or your... Yeah, titty milk. We're not. Mm-mm.

So if you need to take a... Then do it! Don't make that noise you make when you're pissed off! Why don't you just, like, go listen to some, like, Mel Robbins or something? She's doing that noise again, ready? Because she ruins all the audio with the noise. Sabotage. You can't make...

Scott can't get that audio out when you're making that weird woman hum. No, stop doing that. Stop doing that. No, no, no, no. Selena! I'm not trying to make the woman hum. It just happens after childbirth. Oh my god.

It's a very normal part. And that's one of the songs on my album. So how long do you have to wait to... How long do you have sex after... You can have sex the whole time that you're pregnant. You... No, I mean like after. After.

After any time. You had sex right after you had a baby? Right after, right before. Damn. Yeah. And is it, like, is it painful? you like it more. It actually is like really it's a really great experience.

It was a good way to experience life? Yes. I'm so good at it. Wait, oh my God, Shane Gets is! I'm so good at it. Shane Gesses! I'm so good at it. Shane guesses. I'm so good at it. Zach, Doc. Zuck, Doc. Zach, Dhan, Sheen, sheen, sheen, sheen, shame, shame, shame, shame, shame, shame, sheen,

Scheng, Getsis, Scheng, Scheng, Scheng, Scheng, Scheng, Schegussetzer, Change guesses, chain kisses, chain kisses, chain kisses, and pop, chain kisses and you, you, and a pump, pop, pump, pump. Thanks. Hey, I'm sorry about that back there. I screamed at you. I've never had to raise my voice like that. You've never done that before?

And I'm sorry. And I knew that you were going through something, and I was like, let him have his moment, you know? Like, do not. Yeah, no, and I'm sorry. Yeah. I think what you do is really brave. what? Comedy.

Yeah, it's hard. No, like being a mom. One of the hardest parts is getting into the character it's because like you really have to step into their lives and then.

We gotta get her out. I mean like Selena wears a spray bottle. Really embodying like it's not only just like are the thoughts. Shut out! Shut the fuck up! The more you do that

she's gonna make the woman sounds. No, no, no, no. Stop the woman sounds. Get some lip cloths. Cut your bangs. Think about Eric Banna. Eric Banna is waiting for you outside and pick you up, take you to Target. Literally.

Get whatever you want from Target. Put down my baby. Whoa. With your meaty hands. Got you. Now who's getting roasted, you big, you big fucking big musly man. That's right. That's a compliment.

Like your muscles are so freaking big. Yeah, okay, thank you. I'm... And your hair is so fucking... It's, it's, it's like, luscious. Selina, is it okay to comment on your co-worker's physique like that at work? Yeah, that feels like a little inappropriate. It feels like we need to talk to me.

I literally wasn't. I was just saying like your... It feels like you're talking about my body and that feels inappropriate. Just like your body is like... We haven't talked about your body once today. Yeah, like... Getting kind of uncomfortable. Yeah.

What do you want to say about me? I, Spencer, I like, hate your, like, beautifully wavy hair. and I hate your glasses and the way they frame your face and I hate the way you speak to me like we've known each other forever and we could continue to know each other in ways that other people can't imagine

and I don't know, something about your grip when we shake hands it's so stupid yo a shane saw WILEY UNappropriate. I have to feel a book.

This year, Smosh Mouth is going to be bigger and better than ever. It's truly going to be one of the best years. We're probably tanking this episode, but... I thought this was a really good one. You think so? Spencer, you have been... I think you were fucking funny in this. You were really, really funny, Spencer.

I was, like, laughing, and I'm like, I don't usually, like, laugh. But, Spencer, you were making me laugh. Okay, guys, I have a fine. Five gum meeting very soon. Oh my god, five gum. I forgot we're doing that partnership with Five Gum. Yeah. So.

But next week, we're going to try to eat an entire lasagna while ranking every movie we've seen. And one of my favorite. Not one live. I was laughing. Shane. Shane, I was laughing. I'm sorry. I screamed at you today.

No. Oh, my God. I literally didn't even hear it. Your wife's not a witch. I'm just really jealous because I'm in love with you. And I'm in love with you, and I... My dream is to go to Tokyo with you and drive those Mario Carts on the street with you. And you know if you bought the ticket, I'll be there.

I know. If you guys want to, this summer, I'm... Don't say it. I'm going... Don't say it. Do not say it. I'm going to... Don't...

If you say it, I'm going to lose my shit again. Just let her say it. She's been a mom and stuff. I'm going to the east. Jesus Christ, Amanda! You know what I apologize? But you did it again! You brought out the East Coast!

Shane? What? Are you mad at me? Are you mad at me? She would do with a lot. You see what I deal with? Yeah, I know. It's a lot.

It's a lot, Shane. That's why you're so strong. We're going to roll this pinwheel, okay? And if it lands on anything higher than five, we stopped a podcast forever. Spencer, do you agree? Sure. Selena, do you agree?

That's a no from Selena. Here we go. You better fucking wish your lucky stars. I really have to go to this pre-production meeting. That doesn't have a number. Oh. Oh, it's one. Okay, so...

What did I say? If it was lower than six or something. What did I say? No, if it's higher than a five, we stop the podcast. Okay, so we're doing the podcast. podcast. Oh, good. All right, next week, we're going to show Amanda, um, I read it about books.

I've never read them. You guys, what do you guys, what do you guys think about, uh, playing Flip 7 in Guantanamo? That would be so much fun. Do they have farmers markets there? Yeah, I have a call with the marketing team over there. I'm down. My favorite movie is actually in, it's,

let me guess. guess. Let me guess. Dodgeball. Aaron Brockovich. Which one? Aaron Brockovich or Dodgeball? Both. No! And what's that movie? Oh, God, I knew. I had it on the tip of my tongue.

It has the guy in it. I keep trying to bring us to a natural climax. Edgorton. It's the guy, he's in that movie, and there are, there's like planes. Bill Pullman. No, it's not Bill Pullman. looks like, he looks at that other guy from the rom-com with Julia Roberts. Oh, Eric Roberts.

No, not Eric Roberts. And he has like, get off. He has like, um, he has like, um, he has like, he's kind of bigger. I wouldn't say he's Italian. He's kind of a silver fox. And he has like that gray, gray hairs on the top of his head, but not on the, not on the sides. So it's just like kind of like a footh thing going on? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What is his name? I literally just had it. I literally, he's in that movie with. I can't remember if it's Scarlett Johanson or if it's Emma Roberts. I haven't moved my body in 30 years. And they both, they both like, oh my god, it's American sniper. It's American sniper. That's the movie.

Okay, so the guy's name.