Smosh Mouth - S1: #17 - Body Dysmorphia & Why Damien Hates Dating

Episode Date: June 12, 2019

Ian, Shayne, and Damien open up about their insecurities, discuss Damien’s dating life (or lack thereof), and breakdown Ian’s infamous 2 Truths, 1 Lie cheating disaster.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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If you have questions or concerns about gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. Ben MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Ramble. Oh yeah, just so you know, there was 100% a bug in my ear. That was a complete mess

up. I didn't cheat on you and this is not the reveal that I did. I still don't think like I'm that big. I think of my body as being rather average. We're at the moment of the podcast where Damien's making squeak noises. It's his signal, please change the subject. What happened? What happened?

What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? Oh, welcome to the Smosh cast. I am Ian Hecox of the Smosh channel Smosh. I'm joined by my other Smosh channel members, Damien Haas. Hello. And Shane Topp

Oh you're in for it now Uh oh Is this the first time That the three of us boys Have been on a pod? That is correct I think yes But last time we had

Courtney with us So it's the first time It's just us three boys Right It's just the three of us Yeah Damien and I Haven't been on the podcast Together

Wait we haven't? No We haven't No Oh weird We have not It has been a highly Requested pairing Yeah For the boys We've got the itchiest ear We haven't? No. We haven't. No. Oh, weird. We have not. It has been a highly requested pairing.

Yeah. For the boys. It's got the itchiest ear. Let's talk about that. Okay. What's wrong with your ear? I don't know, but it's itchy. That's a real problem.

Next topic. Why is it? Oh, my God. Look at that go. Oh, no. We can't do this. We got to stop this. Maybe you got a spider in there.

Have you ever had an insect crawl into your ear? Yes. Story time. In elementary school, I heard like this. And then I felt it go in my ear. And when I went to go talk to the teacher, I was like, I think there's a bug in my ear. They were like, there's no bug in your ear. You're fine.

And I was like, okay. And so like I kept trying to get them to believe me that there was definitely a bug in my ear. Then I get sent to the nurse and she literally does like, she goes like, you're fine. There's no bug. And so after hours of pleading, I get to go to the doctor. And my mom, of course, believes me, thank God. And the doctor's like, oh, yeah, bugs in ears. We get it all the time.

And sure enough, there was a bug in my ear. It was biting me. It formed a blood clot because of how much it was biting within my ear. Yeah. And so they tried to like flush it out, because of how much it was biting within my ear. Yeah. And so they tried to like flush it out and you'd see little bug parts coming out with the water. But then they actually had to like go in and take it out. So I had two major shots of Novocaine in my ear so they could like extract it. And the next day I come in with like an all cottoned up bandaged ear.

And I'm just looking at everyone like, yeah just so you know there was a hundred percent of bug in my ear also fuck you what kind of bug was it something it was like mosquito size so it wasn't too crazy but not fun

I just would love for it to be like and all of a sudden you're like it's calm there's nothing and all of a sudden you hear

now listen to me very carefully I am the mosquito deep in your ear you're going to listen to me played by James Earl Jones we're going to listen to me. Played by James Earl Jones. We're going to take down the American government.

You and I. I've chosen a fourth grader as my vessel. As the most powerful being in America. I mean, they wouldn't know any better. No. We're all titans to them. Yeah, this is true. We're all their gods.

Yes. Actually, mosquitoes have taken down We're all their gods. Yes. Actually, mosquitoes have taken down surprisingly the most humans out of all animals. Oh, actually, you're totally right. Malaria, yeah. They're fighting back. There is a war going on between us and them. That's true. Yeah.

I don't know. No, I guess malaria probably has killed the most people. I think I want to say, I'm obviously not an expert. I do think mosquitoes technically with malaria have killed the most humans out of all animals and stuff. No, hippos, because they charge. Hippos have killed most people physically. Yeah. Out of all the bugs, hippos are the most dangerous for sure.

Hippos are the strongest insect without a doubt. It would be funny if we found out that hippos were the most prolific killers in all of history. Like that they've killed billions of people and we just didn't know it because they killed all the historians. Just above Hitler. Historians. Yeah. They just went after historians so they didn't tell anyone. I guess

they'll suspect nothing. They like just spread lies where they're like mixing it in with hippo facts where they're like a hippo can eat up to two bushels of food per day. also the earth is a hundred years old and we're all like ah there was no before time only hippo ever hippo yeah shelby foote's in his office like and then the civil war and all of a sudden just hippo through his office eats him we'll never know what happened because shelby foote was killed who the the fuck is Shelby Foote? Shelby Foote is a prolific historian who wrote a massive compendium on the Civil War. There is one person listening or watching this right now that's like, oh, my God.

Everyone else is just like, yeah, yeah, Shelby Foote. I don't know who that is. I was going to let it slide, but you just had to say it again and again. Dude, Shelby Foote. You wanted us to ask. There's a documentary out that follows his whole thing, and also he has these three books that are all like

2,000 pages each, and it just covers the entirety of the Civil War. Wow, he must have had no life to just talk about Civil War. What a friggin' nerd. And the middle 1,000 pages are just him writing war over and over again. Nobody's read it, but everyone just claims they have.

War, war, war, war. You're not reading this. War, war, war, war, war. North, south, north, south. States, rights. Do you think that's how he got out of fighting the war? He's like, oh, no, sorry, sorry. I'm, like, writing this history book, so.

Well, he wrote it in the 20th century. I don't believe you. See, you're just making this all up. I bet his real name was Sheldon Hand. Yeah. century. I don't believe you. See, you're just making this all up. I bet his real name was Sheldon Hand, and he wrote something about the Iran-Contra issue. The mosquito in my ear named Shelby Foot is like, okay, don't say anything more.

Just keep your mouth shut now. They're on to you. If you'd ask me where I thought this podcast was going to go, I didn't think it would be about sentient mosquitoes and Shelby the Foot footerman. Anyways, should we all just take out some blood and just leave it out in the open?

Yes. Good idea, Shane. Keep it going. Keep the rules going. No, he's type B positive. That's the worst one. Oh, that's right. You just found out your blood type. Yeah, I just found out my blood type. Why did you find out your blood type? I asked my mom to send me my actual birth information because we did every astrological sign ever.

And I learned that when someone's like, I'm a Capricorn, but a Pisces rising, I was like, what does that mean? And you have to know your birth time. So it turns out I was born at exactly 12 noon. Exactly. And I am blood type B positive. See, I thought you went and asked, you went to the blood palace and you were like,

yeah, I'd like to know my blood type, you know, because I'm just having a really hard time and they're like, oh, be positive. And you're like, oh. Boo.

I don't think I can do this. I don't think I can do this. I'm sorry. Boo this man. Boo. That was a terrible joke, Shane. Get out. The worst part is I was busy also ruminating on a joke for the positive thing. Yeah, you were.

Yeah. I saw you. In Jamaica, I'd be, A, be positive. Sometimes the comments make me look at them and just go like, oh, negative. Oh, God. Dang it. Universal donor, receiver. me look at them and just go like oh negative oh god dang it universal donor receiver so i'd say overall that that this whole joke was a positive experience what do we got like two minutes left this has been a great podcast thank you guys this week is a little bit of a rough one because I had to give final approval of the Two Truths, One Lie that I did with Pamela.

Right, right. For those of you who don't know, Pamela being my ex-girlfriend. And I thought it would be such a hilarious idea to do Two Truths, One Lie with her. And that video will be out by the time this podcast comes out. So if you haven't watched it, watch it right after you listen to all this. Can we speak freely about what happened? Yes, yes. I thought it would be hilarious.

And I was like, okay, one of the great lies that I'm going to drop on her at the very end is that I cheated on her. And then obviously that didn't happen. So that was going to be the lie. Then something happened. I was obviously like very nervous during that part and I was very excited and I had been waiting a long time to do this two truths one lie and it was this was the moment and she was she was uh confusing me with her word jazz and um and whatever it's called English yeah whatever it was it was like she was like saying things i i've had to watch it back like six times to understand where it all went wrong

but basically i for a moment forgot how the game was played and uh then she guessed that the lie was that i cheated on her which which is correct, which is correct. And so she's supposed to spray me if she gets it right. I, for some reason, sprayed her, which then proceeded to, uh, uh, uh, what then happened next was probably one of the worst moments in my life where I sprayed her. Then I realized, Oh shit. She thinks I cheated on her. And this is the moment that I reveal it to her spring or the face with water public on camera,

on camera in front of people. And you were laughing, you were kind of like laughing as you did it. Gotcha. And like the moment the water like hit her face, I realized like looking at her reaction, I was like, wait, wait, she thinks I cheated. Oh God.

Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. And like, and you guys, Damien and Shane, like you guys were in the peanut gallery and I told you guys this, that I was going to drop that. Yeah. And so you guys knew, you guys were ready for it. And you're like, what are you doing? You're playing the drop that. Yeah. And so you guys knew, you guys were ready for it and you're like,

what are you doing? You're playing the game wrong. Yeah. What was, what was going on? I have some thoughts on that. You kind of caught it. No,

I was going to say, you kind of caught what it might have, what might have caused his confusion. We rewatched it the other day to give like notes on it. And first of all, I will say like,

you didn't just come up with that idea out of the blue. Like Olivia had one of the best two truths, one lies of all time with her boyfriend, Sam, by dropping the bombshell of I'm pregnant,

which was also the lie, but just that moment was great. So I think that inspired. Yes. I was like, I was like, Oh, I I'm going to one up it.

Yeah, exactly. And no matter what, and no matter what we did know, like you did have to know, cause it was the same with Olivia by saying, Oh, I cheated on you.

We obviously know it's a lie, but there's still that moment of like, there's the 0.01% chance of like, is he really willing to do this? Like whatever. And so you could see that kind of with her. Are you that crazy of a man? Because Pam goes like, oh, well, I definitely know you wouldn't reveal it like this.

So that's the thing. So when we watched it again, we caught where the mix-up happened. So it's two truths, one lie, right? So she's dissecting it after you say everything it's uh i prefer whatever type of peanut butter i don't know my mom's birthday and i cheated on you yeah um so she says well i know you didn't cheat on me that's for sure and then she continues on so if she really knew that she she also playing the game correctly should have said like that is for sure the lie but she says i know you didn't cheat on

me so that okay that one and so she keeps going and so you're thinking all right she's correct about that true so then next and so the idea of true got switched up for both of y'all there she's like well i know you didn't cheat on me so let me go to the other ones and then she kept dissecting them and then that's when you were like well wait so you're trying to find a lie and she's like oh that's right well I know you didn't cheat on me. So because that first switch happened for you in your mind when she revealed like, okay, a lie, you didn't cheat on me. And it's like, no, the lie is that I cheated on you,

not that I didn't cheat on you. So it got reversed for both of you guys. It was just more visceral for her. It's also the most simple game in the universe. And this is the second time that i've messed it up because i messed it up the last time i played it i think um and so and so like i sprayed her in the face and then obviously she she got very upset which i completely understand and uh and then we we had to we had to cut the cameras for a moment and, you know, allow, allow everyone to like

settle down a little bit. And I'm like, that was a complete mess up. I didn't cheat on you. And this is not the reveal that I did on camera. And it was, it was the, it was the worst, it was the worst feeling ever. And, and I, uh, you know, people, everyone was very, was very thoughtful, uh, afterwards and everyone, you know, wanted to make sure we were okay. And I was, and they were like, are you all right? And I'm like, well, it turns out I really don't like hurting the people I care about. Yeah. I felt bad for you too. I felt bad for both of you, but I ran into you in the bathroom. I ran into you in the bathroom afterwards. I was like, Hey man, are you doing okay? And you're

like, well, I'm worried about Pam. And I was like, yes, and I know that as well. We, you know, we all are, but like, you know,

obviously you didn't mean to do that. I'm worried about you too. And then Pam comes out of one of the restroom stalls and just says, am I in the wrong bathroom? Oh yeah. And I'm just like,

hi Pam. It was the weirdest moment. I definitely felt bad for her. We cut a lot because, I mean, she knew pretty quickly, like we cleared it up very quickly,

but still that just reaction of like, Oh my God. Cause yeah, what we cut was her being sprayed with a super soaker and then be like, you cheated on me. And like, and we were all just like, Oh no.

And you were just like, I could tell in that moment I felt bad. Cause you looked at her like, what, what? Obviously no. Like, hold on. What's going on? And then it, it slowly hit. And you were just like, I could tell in that moment I felt bad because you looked at her like, what? Obviously, no. Like, hold on. What's going on?

And then it slowly hit. And I mean, everyone in that room. The problem is everyone in the room, I think except you and Pam, knew it was going wrong. Because we were looking at each other, Damian and Courtney and I, and I was looking at the cameraman and everyone in the room. And everyone was like, eyes wide open, mouth agape, being like, what are you doing? And then after it all went down, my favorite quote from the day was Brennan, our cameraman, just looking at you and just went, Ian, that was the dumbest thing I've ever seen. But I felt horrible because then later I saw you in our cast room and you're just kind of standing there and I was like, hey, how are you doing?

Like, I must have been, you know, I'm sorry. And you're just like, yeah, I just I've never hurt her that way. And I was like, I was like, oh, like you and to hurt someone on that level when you didn't do anything wrong. Yeah. Like you accidentally pulled a horrible prank is what happened. Yeah. And you would never obviously do that to her. Hell no.

The sweetest human. So it's hard to see that. Yeah. So, yeah, I, I, I felt for both of you and I think we all do. So. Yeah. It's, it's really funny. It's when we, when we broke up, uh, I was having like little sort of like anxiety attacks and, and I kind of

told her about it and she, she was like, okay, well I have like this kind of like medication, um, that, you know, if you're having anxiety attack, you could take it and it kind of kills it immediately. And she kind of like gave me like a small, like a small amount, like not like a full dose. Um, she's like, if you ever feel it you know take one of these so i i kept it in my backpack i actually never ended up using it i got better i still had it in my backpack and so like after after the shoot like i walked into the room and she was there and i was like are you feeling okay and she's like no i was like are you uh i have that medication you gave me do you want it it? She's like, yeah.

So it strangely came full circle. Yeah, full circle. She seemed fine pretty quickly. She really pulled it together very well. It just shakes you a little bit. Oh, my God. Yeah, well, it's the context. It's getting told you were cheated on is one thing if it's told in a specific way, but getting sprayed in the face with a super soaker in front of a bunch of

people is bonkers. Having said that, I respect the hell out of you for putting out the video and acknowledging it and like talking about it now. Cause I, I feel like I would have been like, no, please.

Like there's no way we can cut it to make this fine. Like, please. But you were like, no, we, we, it happened pretty immediately.

I, cause I talked to you and Pam after I was like, you guys, you know, you know, you don't no we we it happened pretty immediately because i talked to you and pam after i was like you guys you know you know you don't have to put it out there you can cut whatever and both of you were like nah we did it let's do it so i was like dang i'm i'm not a i'm not a perfect person so wow we just okay um i'm not singing a song and we had to cut it so i'm really sorry he sang the entire entire song. That song by Who Bestank. He sang an entire Who Bestank song. My question is

Who Bestank? Jesus. Is this a podcast? I'm sorry. I can't make it to band practice my Who Bestank. That doesn't make sense at all.

See, I replaced the T with an H. Instead of a tuba it's a hooba and it stinks oh I didn't I just figured the hooba was just some sort of like maybe you know Dr. Seuss instrument it's what they call the

baritone tuba there's a hooba under my booba and there's a squid under the did. So if you guys want to see the worst moment of my life, yeah, feel free to watch that video. It's so painful for me to watch. And I had to watch it many times. And man, I am such an idiot.

But I think it's also important to show that we all make mistakes. I'm not a perfect person i keep thinking the hoop is dang song it is really if there's ever a video i recommend to watch man it's that one it's it's incredible because it is also still funny oh yeah there's just such a roller coaster of human emotion where we're just like if you could see like a wave form of people's emotions it would just be like spiking in all different directions. Yeah, and then Pam had to turn after you and hers was like, sometimes I fart

to distract you. Hey, my favorite color is purple. It's like, oh, okay. No, it was about Dr. Amal. Don't you listen? Oh, right, yeah. The real question though, Ian, is what is your mom's birthday? I honestly don't know. You still, you didn't after that video.

I don't know. Do you know the month? You have to know the month. It's like March or something. September 19th. I mean, I guess I could check the internet. The internet probably knows. Until Ian finds out when his mom's birthday is, we have to assume every day is Ian's mom's birthday. So happy birthday, Ian's mom.

Let her know. Happy birthday in the comments. I would check Facebook, but I didn't add her on Facebook. Guys, we're adding more to the petition. Ian needs to go to therapy and he needs to find out his mom's birthday and get her a gift. And clearly, probably, you know, a bunch of gifts. Cause you probably have some retroactive gifts or one big one, like a, like a big old,

like a hen that'll layer eggs constantly. Cause it'll give gifts to you around. And that way you don't have to know when her birthday is because it will probably lay an egg on her birthday. That's true. That's the key. Is that how it works? That's what I do.

Okay. Let's get her a fat hen. Okay. You're right. I do need to go to therapy still. Everybody needs to go to therapy. Yeah. Damien, you should go to therapy. Yeah. Damien.

Damien, you should go to therapy. I straight up should. Damien, you and I are talking about making a therapy pact. Yeah. It's weird because I'm very vocal about how I think therapy is great. There's no shame in it. I think everybody could benefit from it. But I myself have also not had a therapist in

the past that I felt really comfortable with. I've had like two or three before and I've just never felt great about them. Um, so I think you need to go to therapy about going to therapy. Hey, I need a vacation from this vacation, but yeah, I, I probably should. Um, I just have a hard time finding someone. It is definitely an investment emotionally trying to find someone open up that first time be like do i like this person like you know i've had people before that i think would work for others but you know for me they'd be like you know hey well everything you talked about makes sense here's a bunch of worksheets for you to fill out and i'm like homework like what it's like i feel blank when i blank and i'm like i don't this isn't for me it's i don't know yeah yeah well there's so many different types of therapy and, uh, that's true.

Yeah. It's about finding the right, right one. It's, it sucks. Uh, it takes time, but yeah, it's worth it. I'm not against it at all. I just, I don't know why I haven't sought it out for myself yet. I think also, also for me, it's a lot easier to like ignore my problems sometimes and pretend they don't exist. And if I'm going to therapy for them, it's like, all right, let's acknowledge that these problems are very real and deal with them one by one. So, like, you know. Yeah, I mean, isn't that what therapy is all about? Yes. It's not higher on our priority lists, generally.

Instead of ignoring my problems, I just forget about them. Our director was referring to some sort of like bad thing that happened during like during the downtime smash he's like yeah you remember when like can you like i'm just still like freaking out about this thing that happened like six months ago and i was like what and he's like you don't remember this thing that happened i was like no he's like if only i could have your brain for just a day that's yeah i mean hey it's there's benefits and drawbacks to that but definite benefits of being able to forget benefits don't have to deal with the problems your problems not remembering your mom's birthday yeah his mom's birthday is a problem that is actually a massive problem so

yeah yeah you forgot about it. Courtney showed me this, like. Oh, you know Courtney? Yeah. I mean, I don't usually make it known that I know Courtney. Sick. But, yeah. Yeah, I know Courtney.

We're okay. Cool. Sick. No, I love Courtney. Cardboard. Very cool. She showed me this, uh,

this, uh, a website that had like it, you could like put your ad, like address in and it gives you like a map of like where like all these therapists work. And I was like, this feels like a dating website. Like they have all these,

like, like all the therapists have like headshots and they're like psychology today. Yeah. I think so. That's how I've found people before, yeah. And it was like most of them were women, and they were attractive headshots. I was like, I'm not trying to have sex with my therapist.

I just want a therapist. But that's something to unpack in therapy. Why, when you see an attractive woman, do you immediately think, ah, I would be having sex with her? Can't you just deal with her? You you got a lot of work to do uh i have i have a friend straight guy uh and he says he only uh goes to gay male therapists interesting because he doesn't he doesn't want that that sort of like thing even in the equation or maybe or maybe that's actually a cool idea or maybe that just works yeah

I don't know hey and I have somebody that only goes to women therapists so maybe it's you just gotta find that person

you would get that perspective of somebody who would date men but also knows what it is like to be a man that'd be interesting they sort of can see

both sides if you were a straight male they would see both sides of what you need to hear maybe. I don't know. I can see that working for sure. Do you guys struggle with any sort of like insecurities? Well, a reason I also, I think therapy is great is because, you know, I don't have, I'm not an expert in psychology, but from the classes I've taken, like the big takeaway

is that we know far less about ourselves than we think we do. So you might think you know what your insecurities exactly are, and you probably know a lot of them, or you think you know what your issues are, but there's probably a lot that you're just simply unaware of, that through a therapist asking you the right questions, and just conversing with them will be brought to the forefront. And then you'll be like, oh my gosh, I wasn't aware of some of these things that then it helps so much. Yeah. I mean, I think everybody has a lot of insecurities too. I mean, I have not been feeling good about my physical appearance lately, probably for the past like

year, year and a half. Like if you watch older Smosh videos, I was like much thinner then. And, um, also had a lot of stomach problems, which is, you know, partially why that is. But, you know, my parents were always very physical. They met because my dad owned a gym and my mom taught aerobics there. And so like, that was always a way to like, I bet they have great photos from like the eighties. None, literally none. I asked my mom for 80s photos for a potential video that we and they're literally none bullshit bullshit but like I you know that was a good way to get like attaboys from the parents and like ah you've been exercising like that's great and now that's not a part of my life so much because I'm just so busy doing either voiceover twitch streaming or being

here that I just do not have time to exercise right now and I've let myself go by the wayside a bit but I'm trying to figure out how to still feel good about myself, even if it's not in a physical way. And I've never been comfortable in my body. I was a chubby kid. But, yeah, I would say you're insanely hard on yourself in that regard because I don't think anyone would – definitely people watching, I don't think would ever claim you to be out of shape.

But I notice all the time you talking like, oh, yeah, I don't know about this shirt. It makes me like this or whatever. Or like we'll take a group like, like, oh yeah, I don't know about this shirt. It makes me like, uh, like this or whatever. Or like, we'll take a group photo and you're back. I don't know. I don't know. I don't like how I look in that or whatever. Like you pointed out in videos and edits, you're like, ah, I look like this. And I'm like, I would, I would have never noticed it.

Well, you're, you're holding such a lens to yourself. You're being so hard on yourself. Yeah. Oftentimes we're our own biggest critics. Thank God. Cause if anyone else was worse on me,'d be like that that dude's just an asshole well we wouldn't keep them around like honestly like we're like i i think you know one of one of the greatest things about the people that we've sort of kept around ourselves and surrounded ourselves with here is like everyone is super supportive of each other and you know we all we all want the best for each other i would hope that you know if any of us are struggling with anything

that you know we would all be here for each other absolutely no i love these there's no real reason for it i love the people around me um nobody's been like mean about anything on the internet which is shocking but like it just comes from within and i know it's something i've got to work on mentally as well as physically yeah i feel like feel like I'm mean to you when you're talking shit about yourself. And I'm like, you shut up right now. Yeah. Yeah, you do do that. I like it though.

I feel like I'm like, oh, maybe I'm being too mean. But I'm like, shut the hell up, Damien. And I don't think those insecurities would leave you if, you know, if you got into the best shape of your life, you would still that's those insecurities are still there. And you're still going to be like, Oh, I don't, I don't know about this today, or I don't know, whatever, like, if you're insecure about your body, you're going to be insecure about your body. And you can't, the only way to beat that is to mentally, you know, counteract that or to find ways around it. I mean, you're somebody, you exercise all the flipping time. And when I see you, I think you're like the most shredded person I've ever met. But if you're talking about those insecurities not leaving you, do you feel like you still deal with that stuff? Absolutely. Yeah? Yeah. And I mean, I'd say part of the reason I work out so incessantly is because, like,

if I go two days without working out i'll be like oh god i feel i feel like goo today i yeah i hate it and it's it changes right like because it'll be you know for the longest time it was that i was like oh i'm too skinny i'm like whatever i uh you knew up until like i want to say the age of 23 or 24, I wore jackets year round. Like even when it was like. I can think of that black jean jacket. It's what I met you when you were wearing it. Yeah. That, that, or that was, it was like that Robert Pattinson-y type black, black one.

And then I switched to the green leather one, which I would still wear when I started here. And I would wear them if it was 90 degrees outside, I'd still be wearing that jacket. And it was just, just because I was just like,, my, I don't like how my arms look today. Wow. I didn't know that. I don't like whatever. Really? Yeah.

So, yeah. No. And then like pool parties and stuff, I'd be like, oh, shit. No way. Because I feel like that. And if you feel like that, there's no hope for me. It's just, I don't know. And then it changes, man. Like, cause I, I definitely, you know, I can't self-diagnose, but, uh, you know, with like body dysmorphia and stuff,

I still don't think like I'm that big. Like, I don't think I'm that buff or anything. Like, I don't, I don't, I think of my body as being rather average size, but what'll happen is sometimes even if I do get bigger, then I'll just be like, oh, but it's shaped, my body's shaped weird, or it just looks weird, or it just doesn't look good. I don't look, I just don't look like I'm in great shape. I just, whatever. So it changes all the damn time. And it's really tough to keep up with. And I really am a, you know, it's, I'm a prisoner to it sometimes, because there'll be days where like, if I haven't worked out for a couple days and then say it's, you know, oh, I haven't worked out for the past two days, but today everyone's going to Disneyland. But if I go, I'm not going to be able to make it to the gym. And I'll be like, should I go?

Should I go or should I go to the gym? See, I had no idea. Yeah. go or should I go to the gym? See, I had no idea. I had no idea that, you know, you struggled with this because, you know, I mean, we make jokes all the time and I don't know if it's hurtful now that I'm thinking about it. We make jokes all the time about how swole you are. Yeah. I think I have gotten much better at about everything through Smosh just because not necessarily through praise doesn't really help any, any, any of it. In fact, sometimes I think it makes it worse.

A lot of the most insecure people I know physically are the models and the like best looking people I've met because growing up, they were constantly told you're so pretty, you're so attractive. So it's like, oh, that's my entire worth. So if I lose that even for a moment, I am nothing. Got it. And probably the same why people who are praised for being super smart then get super insecure if their intelligence gets, you know, questioned. But that's the thing about you too that's interesting to me is like you're an incredibly well-rounded person.

So like, yeah, you exercise constantly, you're doing fine in that department, but also you have a lot of intelligence to back it up. Your house, which we saw in the house tour, is stacked with books that you've read, not even counting the books that you gave away because you know you're just not going to read them again. You're always trying to like, you know, discover more things about like music.

You were teaching yourself guitar. Right now you're learning Spanish. Like there's so much that like, even if your physical stuff went away, even if all your books burned and you couldn't read anymore, like you would have so much to fall back on. So it's interesting to hear. And I know nothing I say can fix anything, but it's just interesting knowing that like, you know, a lot of people have one thing to build self-worth off of. You've got a lot of things. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. It's tough. I mean, but we could all say that for ourselves, right?

Like, I don't know. I feel like a lot could be, the exact same could be said to you, could be said to all of us that work here and for so many people who are insecure. And I think there's an aspect of insecurity fueling that motivation, but I don't think it's a good fuel. I think a better fuel is just enjoying life and doing things because it's fun and wanting, improving yourself because improving yourself is fun. Yeah. For the sake of it, not for,

oh, I need to improve myself to become something that's worthwhile. Sure. Did those insecurities become worse after your last breakup or? I actually think they were, they've gotten better i think and it changes you know as you get older just different just in life insecurities just switch around i think when i'm insecure i am insecure about anything and i will find the thing to be

insecure about you know i'll be like oh i'm short or oh i'm this or oh oh, I'm this or, oh, I'm, I'm not whatever. Like if it's, and it'll be physical or then it'll be just who I am or something like that. I mean, and I think that goes for everybody. I think, I think insecurity is insecurity. Um, it takes many forms. I think there is a good, humble way to look at that and be like, you know, everybody can say that we all have these different talents and different things to fall back on. But I found that you are somebody, and just speaking as a friend here, I found that you are somebody that will do that all the time to the point where it's not even a sense of necessarily being humble, but you're taking victories away from yourself. Everybody has different things that they can consider, you know, a source of pride for

themselves, or I should hope so. And if you don't feel that way, you should definitely do some soul searching and find it because it is out there. But with how many different areas of expertise you have, Shane, I think it's okay to like every once in a while say it just for yourself. And it's not even an arrogant thing. It's like, you know what? Not everybody is able to do all these different things.

Good for me because it's not like I was born being the best runner, smartest boy in comedy. Like you work flipping hard in a lot of areas. So I would just encourage you to, you know, acknowledge that for yourself. You know, everybody has the insecurities. Everybody can fall back on stuff. But you work hard to have a lot of things you're good at. Good for Shane. Thanks, man.

You got it. Thank you. Yeah. And I don't know. It's like I said, the, the even self praise, it's not, I don't know. I feel that it's not like, that's like, oh, great. I am this thing. I am who I need to be to be happy. Right. I just think the pursuit of all those things for the sake of finding happiness will never achieve it. I think when I find, when I'm able to let go of those insecurities is when I, I think honestly what it is, is in its

own form, selfishness, right? I'm doing all these things to improve myself, whatever I'm thinking, but it's just that I'm thinking about myself. I'm so focused in on improving myself and becoming something that I need to be that I'm not looking outward. And so when I let go of that and I go, you know what, I'm going to focus on my friends, my family, the people around me and what makes them amazing. Suddenly then you just lose yourself. And it's this, it is kind of this euphoria, this breaking free of that prison that you get into yourself when you're just locked into your own head about what's wrong with you and what everybody's thinking about you instead going, no, I'm going to focus on what's great about

everyone around me, what I love about them. And then you feel that connection to everyone. You go, and then you suddenly feel loved because you're looking for that when you're trapped inside yourself, but you can't feel that love because you're just inside yourself. You're sealed away. You get out, you go, okay, I'm with everyone. Oh my God, I'm loved. And I love them and great.

And now I feel great. That's the trouble I think I have in dating actually, is I'm so focused on like, how am I coming across? Am I being a good boyfriend or whatever? Like, am I doing anything weird that's making her unhappy or anything like that? As opposed to like, just be with the person. This is, sorry, no, that's it. Cause that is also totally my issue, that's, that's it. Cause that is also

totally my issue in that I will be on dates. I'll go on a couple of dates with someone and I will be like, I'm doing, I am doing everything by the book,

right? Right. Like, and I've talked about it on, Courtney and I have our show on Smosh Pit where we talk about dating and stuff

and I brought it up how there's date chain and in it, it's me attempting to do, to be the CW version Courtney and I have our show on Smosh Pit where we talk about dating and stuff. And I brought it up how there's date chain. And in it, it's me attempting to do, to be the CW version of myself that I'm trying to achieve. Like I work out every day and I read books and I'm studying and I try to do good at my job. But, and I'm, so I'm trying to be this person that at a certain point I'm realizing I haven't even formed a connection with this person. Yeah. Because I'm not even present. And even if you're listening and asking questions, you're like, good, that was a good question

to ask. Yeah. And it doesn't even matter. And people aren't looking for that. I'm not looking for a CW girl. Like I'm looking for a genuine, fun person to hang out with. I'm looking for a CW girl. And yet I'm not being that.

I'm not being what I like in other people. If you're not being 100% yourself in the date, then you're presenting a false version of yourself. And eventually that has to go away. Yeah. Or it comes back to bite you. It comes back to bite you for sure. Oh yeah,

absolutely. So I mean like it's, it's not about, I'm not saying like go in there like you don't give a shit. No, but actually kind of Oh yeah, absolutely. So, I mean like it's, it's not about, I'm not saying like go in there like you don't give a shit, but actually kind of, yeah, like still be nice, but like,

I think what it is is, is go in there and, and don't, cause what it is is it's lying. It's lying on, on how you react to things, how you think about things and, and,

and all that lying, even if it's your body language, even if you're trying to attempt to change your body language, you're lying in an aspect. Care, genuinely care about that other person. That's you giving a shit. But to act in a way that you wouldn't normally act is lying. Yeah.

We were trying to hook Damien up with this girl that... Oh, he hates this. I don't. Can I mention it? Yeah mention it yeah of course okay so we were at can I say where I guess let's be more vague okay we were at a medieval fun time oh now he hates this I, but let's do it. This is how we get through it, Damien. Great. That's great.

You're helping. Welcome to therapy. Yeah, actually, I think I'll hit up a therapist after this. We're going to hit this thing head on. We were running into a whole lot of people at Ren Faire. Oh, you were. All these people that we knew. And we ran into one of the people that works here. She has some friends that were with her from a previous job.

And Damien struck up a conversation with one of them. You guys were talking about anime, was it? Nah. I think she brought up something about like, oh, I really like stout beer, but no one knows how to pour it right. And I was like, oh, yeah yeah like no one pours the and you don't get the head properly so he was like ah this guy gets it and it was more or less it but it's good meet cute very quick conversation very cute conversation and she had mentioned to our friend our co-worker that she thought he was cute oh snap which snap. Which is. Oh, snap. Which is true.

Oh, my God. Poor again for this boy. And so when I heard this, when I heard this, you know, matchmaker Ian set in, and I'm like, we got to make this happen. And I was immediately met with a wall. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's me. That wall being Damien. Well, here's the thing, man.

I haven't, so my last major relationship was about two years ago. And in that time, I've dated a little bit. But that last relationship really sort of shook up the image I had of what I wanted in my future. I'd always wanted that, like, you know, meet each other while you're young and like sort of playhouse for a little bit. And then you're going to get married and you're going to have the kids and all that stuff. And after that ended, I sort of was left looking at, you know, the time I'd spent and what I'd learned from it and what I wanted going forward. And to this day, I'm still not really sure what I want. So I've been in this weird space of like, dating sounds stressful.

It sounds time consuming. Like during that time, I didn't focus on my career at all. I really like wanted to focus on that now. And it's not that I don't want to date. It's not that I don't want companionship. It just sounds, I don't know, the idea of it automatically gets me a little like flustered and stressed. So, um,

you know, hearing that that girl thought I was cute was really nice. And I thought she was cute too, to be frank, but it was just this mindset of like, Oh, what? And now I've got to go on like dates and like,

Oh, what if she texts and I'm busy? Like immediately it just became very, like it became more out of obligation as opposed to the place where it should come from, which is like, oh, that sounds like fun. We could go grab a drink and hang out and do blah, blah, blah, you know. So I don't know what that wall comes from. I think also you mentioned you don't know what you want from a relationship. I mean, I think going in with an expectation of what you want could also be setting you up for disaster as well.

That's true. I mean, I don't know what the next person I'm going to meet is going to do to my life. Like, I don't have any, you know, expectations to have kids. But who knows? Maybe I'll meet that person and I'll be like, yes, I would like to impregnate you and have a child. I can probably say that in a less creepy way, but I won't. Yes, madam, would you enjoy breeding with yours truly? Let's mate.

Are you fertile at this moment? I'm jeans and I'm not talking about laundry. let's mate are you fertile at this moment let's mix our genes and I'm not talking about laundry but I oh god so I think

like just you don't have to like I think going in with any sort of expectations is a bad idea you don't know this person

at all but also you're never gonna know them if you don't just just shoot your all, but also you're never going to know them if you don't just, just shoot your shot. I also think you're, you're not respecting your own boundaries and everything because you're talking about your fears and it's, I, I get it because I know how you think. And I, I think with regards to dating, I'm very similar in that you're, you're like, Oh God, why is she texting? I'm busy. Oh, what if I let her down in this way? What if I'm not,

you know, what if I, I have to flake on a date and oh God, there's so much pressure and I'm going to mess it up. You get to live your life. You're busy. You're doing your thing and you can keep doing your thing. And no one, especially if you're just dating someone, they don't get to dictate anything. And if they don't understand that and they don't respect that,

they're not mature enough. Yeah. This is the thing. This is the big, big difference. we're all adults now yeah and if this person is also an adult then they'll understand yeah so i think if if you know you know you went out and you guys were like oh stouts and beer and then the conversation ended there and you're like oh i don't relate to this person any other way and yeah and i didn't have a good time so i don't drink that often it's more of a rare treat kind of thing and it should be like oh i'd drink seven

times a day on the hour and it was like oh i'm drunk right now i was drunk when we met i'll be drunk when i die yeah and then at that point you say well i think you should probably seek help and um hit me up when you've figured that out but i get what you're saying i'm just i'm not good with pressure and there's a lot of pressure that comes from within myself it's no one else doing anything i just build up a million different anxiety bombs in my head hence should go to therapy um but i get what you're saying yeah it's yeah i, I'm open to the idea of dating. I just, yeah. I wish I had a more eloquent way to say, but you just don't know until you try. Yeah. And I think it's one of those things too, those anxieties simply, I think you're waiting

for them to go away. I think you're waiting, you're hoping that in time you're gonna be like, oh, suddenly I no longer feel anxious about dating. It might be one of those things you just kind of got to, you know, condition yourself, right? Like you just got to do it. And I think I can think of to compare it as I went rock climbing with Monica the other day. And, you know, I was trying to do it and I think I'm strong enough to do it. But, man, it's just impossible because my fingers just aren't built for it. And I'm like, ah, it's nerve wracking. I don't know if I want to do this. But I'm like, the only way I can ever do this is if I just keep

doing it and keep failing. And I think in a way dating is like that, man. So I'll meet a girl at the top of a rock climbing wall. Yeah, that's right. I mean, that'd be a good meet cute. That would be. And I'd be like, excuse me, you dropped this. And she'd be like, I dropped it all the way down to the ground. How did you get my cell phone? I'm like, I caught it midway down in my teeth. Yeah. You caught it during a d dino that's a rock climbing word everybody knows that everybody knows dynamic movement oh see i did dino you didn't just go there cut it cut that line please please i think i think also the thing is like, I don't know, so much of my life is like I just don't want to regret not taking a chance at things.

And I think that's the worst thing ever is regretting not doing something or trying something and then kicking yourself in the ass later on for not doing it. I have, in the past two years that I've been single, I've definitely failed pretty hard a couple times. And honestly, they're just funny stories now. Yeah. Like, I'm kind of glad about it. This is the best thing about our lives, is the worst stories are so good for these podcasts. They're so funny.

I mean, I accidentally, and I told my ex that I cheated on her when I didn't. That's the worst freaking thing ever, and I'm going to put it out on the internet. You know, can it really, can your date really be worse than that, Damien? Can it? It's not the date. It's like, I'm such an introvert. The date, I'm sure, would be great. But yeah, I get what you're saying

I do I'm just an introverted man but I need to break out of my shell because I don't want to be alone forever you could invite her over to watch anime

that's a little forward I mean anime is a second date kind of thing for sure anime is for sure a second date Naruto and chill?

I actually like a year ago I very briefly dated a girl who was, like, super into Naruto. And we actually had, like, a date planned for, like, we should watch Naruto. But then I wasn't feeling it. So, you know. Yeah. Yeah. We're at the moment of the podcast where Damien is making squeak noises. Damien is making squeak noises.

It's his signal, please change the subject. I'm awkward as hell. Okay, I will go to therapy. I'll go on a date sometime sooner or later, and I'll try not to be so introverted. Next topic. You better be careful, man. We're going to just end up making a Smosh Pit video out of nowhere where you go on a date.

What have you done? Hey, remember when Ian did that uncomfortable tooth-thrusome one live? Wasn't that crazy? Let's talk about it. Wait, Ian, are you dating anyone? Yeah, Ian. Yeah, any leads? Damien just just slapsticky tried to drink his water bottle. Slapped Sticky? It's when you fall down in a cherry pie. It's all Sticky.

What? Ian, are you dating anyone? Ian, are you dating anyone? Ian. No. Ian's face, I think he's lying. But are you, like, are you... Any leads?

You know, any leads? Any leads? Do you have any leads on, like, dating anyone? Very, very light. Very light leads, yeah. Nice. Sick. Sick.

Very light. Oh. But keeping my heart open, you know? I don't have girls that are telling other people that they think I'm cute. So you're saying Damien has a greater lead than you. Damien has a million times better lead. Damien has someone he could go on a date with. 100%.

That's crazy. 100%. Boy, that's nuts. We even tried to like, I was planning with my coworker. I was like, how are we going to do this? She's like, all right, here it is. He follows her on Instagram. That right there is too much pressure.

That right there is too much pressure. What? What? Here's the plan of setting you up. I at any time could find this person and message her. I even planned on having a little dance night thing where I was you know you and that girl would be able to go this is this is how i hooked anthony up with his with his current girlfriend that work yeah yeah my my my uh ex ex-girlfriend the one from the way back when uh she was visiting la she knew this

she knew this very funny girl and uh and she was like, she'd be perfect for Anthony. And Anthony was single at the time. And Anthony's like, no, no, no. I don't want people to, I don't want to be set up with you. Yeah, Anthony's got it. He's got the right idea. Yeah, Anthony was also like, he wasn't, I don't think he was into like dating around or anything.

And he was very resistant to it. And we did this dance night thing. They met at my house. And they hit it off immediately. Oh, my God. And guess what, Damien? They're still together after three, four years. Holy crap.

I'm not saying it's going to happen. I have no problem with it. I'm not good with pressure. But yeah, sure. You're talking to us, aren't you? What's the difference between talking to us? Hold on, I think we just got confirmation. No, I'm saying like pressure in this

situation of just like, yo dude, you should go on that date. Yeah, message that girl. I'm like, ah, let me feel it out when I do it. Do it for us, Damien. Look, I don't think this, whoever this girl is, I don't think she listens to this. And so she won't know what we're planning right now. Like, we're just saying, like, we could casually.

Also, for the viewers, this is not an invitation to go on a crusade to try to find out who this girl is and pressure her. It's not. That's also not cool, and it's none of your business, even though we're making it our business to try to. Yeah, right. It's no one's business but the person involved. The person involved.

The one. We're just trying to be... We're just trying to wingman this shit. For viewers! We have viewers! We're not alone in a room! The good news is it's not going to be a dance night. It's going to be right now. Why don't you come on in, Lorraine? Lorraine! Lorraine's obviously a made-up

name. Can you imagine? Yeah, anyone named Lorraine. That's. Lorraine's obviously a made up name. Can you imagine? Yeah. Anyone named Lorraine. That's a type of quiche. You know, my heart's open because if Kathy Bates ever decides she's interested. To read even one of your letters. Even one of my 50 million letters I've sent her. Yeah.

No, but I'll be honest. Like I am open to the idea. I'm on like the dating apps right now which I've actually had some matches and stuff there so like I'm just

I'm not very open about talking about dating stuff usually so that's part of so it's not like I'm not it's not like

I'm completely out of the loop entirely I just don't want to give the wrong impression hmm I fucking hate how long we've been talking about this by the way hmm I fucking hate how long we've been talking

about this by the way I'm literally dying this is killing me I'm sure you can all see how wildly uncomfortable I am we kind of run through like what should we talk about on this podcast before we start and this was not a topic I want to die and boy we are sticking to it

ladies and gentlemen dead will you agree no to at least follow her and like one of her posts sure open up can we talk about anything else open up that door please can we talk about anything else well i mean so we're getting to know each other better, Damien. Yeah, I'm gonna know a lot about you. And what you'll do for views. And what I'll do for love.

That's true. This is all for love, Damien. I think if Cupid was real, he would have the personality of Ian. Just a little old bastard. He's like, How you fuck? You looking to get married? I'll set you up you little bitch

But we are getting to know each other a little better Take this arrow He doesn't even shoot He's like here You know what to do Boof Boof Arrow to your dick

But yeah I think in terms of Smosh Squad You and I probably know each other the least. Is that right? I think so. Hmm. Because when I did pop in every now and then to a Pit video, like back in the day, it would be like core Pit cast,

and you might not always be in it. And we are friends, but you have also always been in this world my boss. And so there is, I think, that little layer of separation. So yeah, i'm enjoying getting to know you a little bit better i think you're to be frank you're probably the toughest person for me to figure out here you are that's true i think that's just genuinely true well yeah

and and i mean it's probably i probably exacerbate your sort of social anxiety where, you know, I just, you know, because I want to get to know Damien, but Damien is like, ha-ha, joke, joke, joke, joke, joke. You both are actually, you're somehow opposites, but also the same in how you kind of have walls up. Yeah. How we deflect. Yeah. Yeah, you're both very extreme about it.

Game recognize game. Yeah. We're both walled up it. Game recognize game. Yeah. We're both walled up boys. So I wonder what can we do, you and I, to not to break those down? Is it a time thing for you or is it experience things? Do you and I just need to hang out more? Or what would help us get to know each other in a more legit way? Hmm. That's a great question.

Yeah, I think we probably just need to hang out more. Yeah. I think it's also just, it's also just, you know, you have a tendency to, your reflex is to

make a joke. Mm-hmm. And I just want to see real Damien. I want to know real Damien. I think because I don't know you as well right now

and like, you know, Shane and I are very close and so we have this style of humor where it's like, you know, we kind of shit on each other and that's just kind of like, ah, we're razzing each other but because I don't know you as well right now and like you know shane and i are very close and so we have the style of humor where it's like you know we kind of shit on each other and that's just kind of like ah we're razzing each other but because i don't know you as well yet that's part of like how i'm playful and every and because you're not very readable person i have these moments of like oh did that

actually upset Ian or is he is he upset that i think i cut him off just a minute ago like oh no like that's another thing you are the most apologetic person. I am. I really am. On the planet. I really am. And I'm sorry about that. And like, I appreciate that you are very mindful. You are very mindful of everyone's feelings. And it's good to be like very, you know,

a very compassionate person. Most of the things that you apologize for, I'm like, I didn't even realize any of it. Like, I sorry that cut you off here i'm sorry that i did this i'm like i don't even know what you're talking about and then i have to go explain why you would be offended potentially and that makes it worse i'm like oh that's uh i didn't notice when damien and i first met on set back on disney channel we were we met at, we had a table read and then we had lunch afterwards and then went home for that day. The next day I come in, I walk past his dressing room

and I was like, oh, good morning, Damien. He goes, hey man, oh, hey, I just want to say, I'm sorry, yesterday at lunch, I think I interrupted you at one point. I'm so sorry about that. And I was like, I don't remember. I don't think you did, but oh. I did.

I did. I'm sorry, Damien.'t think you did, but oh. I did. I did. I'm sorry, Damien. I think you just interrupted Shane right there. You son of a bitch. Can you please apologize? Fight me. No, I will not apologize to Shane anymore because I've learned that even if you make a big mistake and you're the one at fault, never apologize. Never surrender.

Never take no prisoners it's definitely um i think uh i think in uh i didn't have a lot of friends in like middle school high school and i think it sort of goes back to that um i was if i ever like talked in class it was sort of like a oh shut the hell up kind of deal or like i was like oh the annoying kid because i would try to make jokes or whatever and i always felt very removed because I also did, like, professional acting work, and I would miss a lot of school days. And I was always like, you know, this is what I really care about, not, you know, school stuff. So I never really felt close to those people.

So I found that I had the best success when I was just quiet and didn't say anything. So I think I often apologize for my presence without realizing it, which is a bummer. And I'm trying to get past that too. Sounds like both of you would really benefit from going to therapy. Yeah, go to therapy. We should both do that. Yeah, we probably should. If we make a pact, I mean, I could go on a website right now and find a therapist.

And you'll pay for mine? I believe you both have the same insurance. You heard him say it, folks. You will pay for my therapy. Oh, that's weird. I didn't know um say it, folks. He will pay for my therapy. Oh, that's weird. I didn't know um meant yes, definitely, I'll pay for your therapy. If you guys want to support Damien going to therapy, subscribe to his Twitch. Or just subscribe to my Twitch in general.

Thank you very much. Twitch.tv slash Damien Haas. That being said, I might have to miss a stream or two if I'm going to therapy. I think they would definitely understand. Thank you. I will say that has been the coolest thing. I've had to take a little or two if I'm going to therapy. I think they would definitely understand. Thank you. I will say that has been the coolest thing. I've had to take a little bit more of a step back. I'm doing like one less stream per week.

And whenever I have to cancel now, people, I love my community. They totally understand. It's always like, I've got a professional reason I've got this audition. Or like, I'm super sick and we're filming in the morning. I got to do it. But I also know that if I was ever just like, I really just need a me night, they would be like, great. Take your me night.

Good luck. I think the way that Twitch works right now is insanely unhealthy. Like I think if you want to be a prolific streamer, you have to be streaming so much. And it's very unhealthy. And I want us to be on Twitch because I think it's a great platform. But the way that we create content, it's just not possible right now. Like I us to be on Twitch because I think it's a great platform. But the way that we create content, it's just not possible right now. Like I want to be on Twitch.

And I think we can do something on there. But it's like, no, we can't be on Twitch for five hours a day. That's the thing. I experienced the best growth immediately when I started. I mean, one, because the Smosh community really wanted to support

and we're feeling a drought of Smosh related people because the Defy thing happened. But also I would stream for like three hours a day, five days a week, at least three hours a day, five days a week. And that was still considered pretty low. So it was, you know, but that was a lot. It's a lot of time to be on because I'm also not the type of streamer that just sits there and plays the game and is like good at it. I'm more about like the interaction and actually listening and talking to people. And I'm like talking the whole time. And it's not just like droning on, I'm like on. So that

constantly for several hours, it's just the burnout happens real quick. I enjoyed it, but I was still just like, I'm exhausted. I can't believe I'm doing this again today. Wow. And there's people that are doing that for like eight hours a day with zero people watching in the hopes that, you know, people will come across it and they'll slowly build up a following. I'm like, that's insane. Can you imagine working a job and you're like, man, I hope one day I get paid. Internship. It's very impressive. I mean, you know, I think a lot of people who don't know anything about the community, like I've heard people talk crap about, you know, Ninja and stuff like that,

being like, oh, he makes that much money playing video games? It's like, man, if you watch those streams, it's insane. And I've watched a bunch of Damien streams, and it's nuts. You're playing this video game while also answering and talking to people constantly. You're keeping up on stuff. It almost makes me dizzy sometimes. I'm like, how are you doing this? Thanks, man.

It's very wholesome. His streams are incredibly wholesome because a lot of people are asking advice for things, a lot of times mental health-wise, and it's you talking to people about very real things for hours on end. It's very impressive. I appreciate that a lot. Yeah, man. Yeah, I think it'll be really interesting to see what Twitch is in five or so years

because I just, I don't know, man. I feel like it's going to catch up. Can you imagine being a streamer, streaming for 12 hours a day for 10 years? People are going to keep doing it. For 20 years. They'll keep bringing new people on then. Yeah.

But it seems like very much like a young man or a woman's game. I think there's a push by Twitch right now to, there's like, you know, when you just join and then you can make affiliate and then you can make a partner. I think there's a big push by Twitch right now to like really emphasize the people that are at the affiliate level. So like the partners are the ones that are doing those crazy long streams But I think for people that are in that mid-range, you know, it's probably shorter streams Probably not as often and they're for whatever reason really pushing those so maybe in five years

It'll be more of a thing where like because streaming is so regular at a certain point You know, you might just see that person two hours a day. And there are so many streamers that it's almost like TV shows you watch. You don't want to watch Game of Thrones for eight hours a day every single day, but you're excited for the Sunday and, you know. Yeah. The amount of pressure that's put on just internet personalities and stuff, because it's the same with YouTube, man.

I mean, people get burned out because it's so demanding. You just, you're not allowed to stop ever is the feeling it's, it is exhausting. I mean, and you're competing against the world. Yeah. It's not like there's a couple channels that, that will, that have streamers on it's no, you're competing against anybody that wants to be a streamer. And that's a, that's going to be an ever expanding group of people. It's so tough, man. And I don't know how video game people, like gamers on the internet, it's such a hard job. Because when I first came on and tried to do a Smosh Games video or two, I was like, this is exhausting.

This is exhausting to play a video game while also being entertaining while you're playing a video game is so much harder than you think. Yeah. Well, I think also a lot of YouTubers trying Twitch get burnt out because there is that feeling of I have to be on. Whereas like a lot of people that came up on Twitch, there isn't, for a lot of them, there isn't like an on. It's like, oh, I kind of came up and I'm myself and I'm playing this game and I'm kind of doing this thing and it's more casual but as like a YouTuber it feels like you know the camera's on you have to be on you have to be like high energy

like super engaged making jokes all the time and that's just it's impossible it's so tough but massive respect for anybody that's grinding on Twitch. Keep it up. I hope one day you reach ninja status.

I hope you all reach ninja status. You all get that Red Bull money. Hopefully one day y'all can all floss in Times Square. To mild applause. That was such a bummer. That was rough. I felt bad. God, so was such a bummer. That was rough. I felt bad. God, so bad for him to be put on the spot there.

Because you know, they're like, all right, Ninja, we're going to have you stand in front of Times Square. And can you do that flossy thing you do? Huh, what? Huh, what? And they're like, we will pay you this much money. Great. Oh, yeah.

What feels different about Smosh for you guys let's say after anthony left damn damn well i don't know if i'm the best to answer this because i i only met anthony like once and i'm not even sure he remembers me to be frank because it was really quick um when i first started he was on vacation for like my whole first month he was like out of the country or something or like he was in europe or something like that and then when he finally came back like i saw him in the bathroom when i got out i was just like oh hey man i'm damian i'm one of the new guys he's like hey how's it going i'm anthony nice to meet you and that was like it and so for me nothing i'd sure like to meet him again.

There have been a couple opportunities, but it's that weird thing where it's like, I don't know if this dude remembers me or knows who I am, so I don't want to introduce myself again, but it's also weird. Oh, we made eye contact, and he's all the way over there. Do I go over and say hi? That's my brain. There's old nervous Damien. That's me.

For me, I mean, there is a difference. You know, Anthony's great, and he was always really nice to me when he was here. But I would say there was a feeling when he was still here that it was like you and him and then the rest of us. And we kind of were very separate. You know, there was that long period of time where, you know, on Smosh Pit, it was just us, you know. And you guys would do Smosh's board, we would do our things, and you guys would do Friday sketches that we would sometimes be in, and we would be on every blank ever, and it was this weird, and I think it was, you know, I don't think it was

necessarily intentional, I just think it just was kind of how things fell, and, but after he left, it suddenly was like, all right, well, we have no, it's all got to come together a little bit more. We have to change. This is a big change. And it took time, but it still felt like suddenly more and more like, oh, I'm not just some new featured player on Smosh. I'm part of it. I'm part of this thing. I will say, I feel bad looking back. It was so weird because the week that Anthony left, the last videos we shot with him, it was the same week that I broke up. I went through my breakup.

So I have two breakups in one week. So I remember it was a day, I think it was the day, like my breakup happened at 3 a.m. And then on a, on a, on a day like, or no, it was the day after that. But, but still I was just dead and I was just zoned out. And I remember we, we filmed with him and then I was walking towards my car and he was on the other end of the street. And I, I'm just kind of walking back to my car zoned out. And all of a sudden I hear, oh, I'll see you later, man. And I turned back and it's Anthony just, just waving goodbye.

And I was like, oh yeah, man, I'll see you later, man. And I turn back and it's Anthony just waving goodbye. And I was like, oh, yeah, man, I'll see you later. And that was us saying goodbye. Like him. And I was like, and I look back and I'm like, oh, man, I wish I had. And obviously we like have talked many times since, you know, but still it was, it's weird. But also you didn't, you didn't know that was his last thing. Because that was, that was, it was a secret. It was a secret that between me and him at that time.

He told me he was leaving, but he wanted – I thought this was after it was – Nope. Was it? Wow. I guess then, yeah, it's weird. It all blurs together, you know, but looking back, I'm like, wow, that was that. Yeah, it was – at that that point it was a secret.

He asked me to keep it under wraps so he can try to plan his exit. And he was afraid of a leak of sorts. So it was just between me and him. I mean, the channel before, for the year leading up to his departure, the channel was so split. Like, it was literally like there was two channels on one channel where it was, like, the Ian and Anthony show and then the Smosh Squad show. Our channel was definitely in a rut. Like, there was, I mean, the meme basically started that we were never going to leave 22 million subscribers because we were stuck on 22 million for like a year and a half and then yeah i mean it you know him leaving forced forced an evolution that was that was sorely needed

it really is a lesson and i i think bad things or just not necessarily bad things, but just big changes are always scary. You always think, ah, this is the end. And they, man, that's the time when you really make changes that can lead. Cause it was,

it was Anthony leaving, started a new phase. And then the defy shutdown was honestly looking back. It's the best thing that's ever happened to us. But on that day, it was the worst day of all of our lives. Yeah. I didn't even know defy was so bad because I was so ignorant to it. But on that day, it was the worst day of all of our lives. Yeah. I didn't even know

Defy was so bad because I was so ignorant to it. Like I didn't, I hadn't done anything internet based until I joined there. So I was just like, whatever,

why is, we got the best job in the world. Why are people complaining? Now being here at Mythical, I'm like, oh, this is how things

are supposed to be and could be. Yeah. I mean, we really, really got lucky and i think you know that just that just goes into that thing of uh you know when sometimes the the scariest decisions are the best decisions so damien go out on a date with this girl. Boy. Yeah, I think that's,

man, that's impressive, Ian. God damn, man. Good work. Woo! We literally talked before this and I'm like, hey, just so you know, like someone pressuring me

into dating someone is the worst way to get me to date someone. Oh, I wasn't there for that conversation. We talked, you and I were, you and I spoke about it.

Ian was in front of you, but he was not there for it. So now that's never gonna happen. Damien, let me tell you spoke about it. Ian was in front of you, but he was not there for it. So now that's never going to happen. Damien, let me tell you something about Ian. He can be right in front of you, but he may not be present in the conversation. Didn't you moments ago just be like, show me the real Damien. I want to learn the real Damien. Are you even going to be there to fucking meet him?

I'll be here. I don't know. Well, at least you don't have to go on a day with her yeah you know what damien probably just like don't it's probably good if you never do but just like how is this the main topic of this podcast but just you know just like we get here just just shoot a small shot yeah you know just like a free throw how about I agree to get back into the world of dating whether it's with this girl or however I decide to do it I will agree at some point soon

to put myself out there that's an attainable goal for everybody that it matters to here that's not me it's not enough alright well I quit I think I want to see I want to see action I quit. Because I think I want to see action. No, not like that.

I don't want to see any. I don't want to see. It's my boss, ladies and gentlemen. It's my boss. That is the president. I'm done with words. I need to see action. Damien, Shane, it was so nice talking to you guys on this podcast.

Thanks, man. I had a great time. I had a really good time, too. Thank you guys so much for watching this episode. And just so you guys know, we have some new merch dropping next weekend. This is actually one of the OG sweaters that you can get. That's right. Get some retro smosh.

I actually never got one of these sweaters. I don't know what happened, but that's Defy for you. So, yeah, it's a pretty sweet yellow hoodie. I think we got like 200 of them. We have a very small stock of them. Exclusive. We have 100. And each of them is hand signed by Ian Hecox?

No. That's crazy. Each one of them is hand signed by Damien's date. You're going to be busy, Ian. Oh, Damien's going to sign them on his date. Hey, Tinder for Hot Dogs has a shirt. Oh, snap. That is correct, guys.

There is a Tinder for Hot Dogs t-shirt. And I'll tell you why there's a Tinder for Hot Dogs t-shirt is because you can wear it now and it drops. Tinder for Hot Dogs, the sketch, which we are filming this week. We are filming it right now. We are leaving this podcast. We are filming it right now. We are leaving this podcast. We are getting back to set. This curtain, if you're watching the video version, this curtain behind us, we're going to pull it back.

We got a whole set right here. We got everything going. Tinder for Hot Dogs drops July 3rd. That is less than a month away, ladies and gentlemen. And boy, it is crazy. Things are spicing up on set. People are thinking, Shane, there's no way this is going to, we can't release this.

This is too much. People's faces are going to melt off when they watch this sketch. I guarantee you, I am going to get an interview on Larry King when he watches this sketch, because Larry King is a big fan of Smosh, and he is going to love Tinder for Hot Dogs, and I know he loves hot dogs just as much as I do,

and all of you are going to love Tinder for Hot Dogs. Is this a filibuster? Guys, I am Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, except it is on do and all of you are going to love tinder for hot dogs is this a filibuster uh guys i am mr smith goes to washington except it is on tinder for hot dogs that's almost as good as your sam foot joke shelby foot and jimmy stewart in mr smith goes to washington guys guys none of that matters none of it matters because Tinder for Hot Dogs Comes out soon and you can wear a shirt That says Tinder for Hot Dogs

And if I see you wearing one On Twitter or anywhere, I will shed so many tears I promise you He will shed so many layers of clothes That's right, Shantop will get naked Whenever he sees that shirt And we have a very limited supply of those shirts too Only 1,000 signed by Ian Hecox

We only have a couple, guys, because I had to hand sew them myself. And I bled so much because I'm not good with needles. And he ironed on the hot dogs. And yeah, I ironed on actual hot dogs. Just hydraulic pressed the hot dogs

into the t-shirts. Guys, we have a budget of $500 million. How much do you think a hydraulic press costs? Maybe I got a bad deal on that hydraulic press. But boy, it is going to be the biggest production you've ever seen. Do you like Avatar? Are you excited for Avatar 2?

You don't need to worry about Avatar 2 because Tinder for Hot Dogs comes out in a couple weeks and it's just as good. James Cameron is shook. And just as a reminder, this merch comes out next week. So be on the lookout. And if you are watching this a week late, hey, get the merch right now, dum-dum. Smosh.store.

Show your support for Tender for Hot Dogs. Make Shane the happiest baby boy in the universe. Make me such a happy boy. Damien, ask that girl out on a date. Yes. And if you guys aren't subscribed to Smoshcast, do that right now. You can subscribe on any of your favorite podcast apps, or you can subscribe on our YouTube channel, Smoshcast.

If you want to listen to this on Wednesdays, uncensored, it's on podcast apps. If you want to watch us and our pretty faces and watch damien glare at me very angrily for talking about him dating a girl or trying to get him to date a girl um you're gonna have to see this in video form because it's uh it's something to witness if you're listening to this on audio i recommend also watching it on video yeah because um damien is not happy with me right now. He's really not. He's genuinely not. I'm going to have to give him a nice long hug after this.

I don't know if I'd recommend that. We'll see you guys next time. Bye, everybody. Bye.