Smosh Mouth - S1: #2 - We Need To Talk About Anthony
Episode Date: February 27, 2019Ian, Shayne, and Olivia sit down to chat about why you should stop asking about where Anthony is, Shayne’s matchmaking skills and sh*tting on people’s lawns. Learn more about your ad choices. Vi...sit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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One of the big speculations was that Anthony was coming back.
It's the worst when two immature, like, dudes, like, are making you feel so little.
Flaming Hot Cheetos are the only Cheetos anyone should be eating.
Anyone who eats regular Cheetos is for sure a terrorist.
Oh, tell us about your guy.
Tell us about your man.
Well, my man, his name is Sam.
Oh.
I mean, I think we could all agree that Olivia's just overall a bad person.
No, I think this time around I'm going to be a lot meaner to you. That's fine. I mean, I think we could all agree that Olivia is just overall a bad person. No, I think this time around I'm going to be a lot meaner to you.
That's fine.
I mean, I'll, you know.
Because you were mean to me and now I'm going to.
I was never mean to you.
You were always mean to me.
I had three months to just think of insults.
That's all I did all day.
Well, same.
I have a notebook.
You're doing a rebrand.
Yes.
Okay.
It's not that much.
It's not a drastic rebrand.
Wow, you're a little bitch.
All right.
Well, this is a great way to start off.
The second Smosh cast of all time.
I love you.
Remember, because we really like the Olivia's a bully video.
It's a great video, and it's based on real life,
because Olivia bullies me.
That's actually not true, but I'm going to start bullying you.
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
We have Olivia here.
Hello.
Hi, Olivia. Hi. This is going to be interesting because I feel like people rarely get to see the real, the real Olivia. The real
Liv. Do you think, do you think you could bring her out in this podcast? Give me $2 million. Okay.
Well, we're screwed. Well, no. I i think see i feel like olivia is exactly
who she seems like on camera which is a complete psychopath our friendship is actually what it is
it really yeah you say insane things i don't know how to handle it or how to respond
and you just keep going yeah where do you think that comes from the the the part where i make up weird sounds part where you're psycho the part where i'm do you think that comes from? The part where I make up weird sounds?
The part where you're psycho.
The part where I'm psycho.
I think it comes from my dad cheating on my mom.
Whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa, wowie.
Welcome to the podcast.
It's facts, dude.
Dropping bombs.
Dang.
Dropping divorce bombs.
Your dad's going to listen to this podcast, though.
No, no.
YouTube is illegal in China.
Oh, there you go.
Wow, so you get to just talk whatever shit you want.
Fuck my dad.
I'm just kidding.
I'm kidding.
No, I love my dad.
Dad, dad, dad, I love you.
I have to assume.
I don't think my parents are going to listen to this podcast,
but I have to assume at some point my mom's going to find it
and then start listening
to it so i the only thing i gotta that's like the one realm i can't talk shit about is my parents i
gotta like yeah the only thing that i that i know about your dad yeah other than what you just
mentioned was when he visited for like two days and he forced you to buy a more expensive car but made you pay for it?
Yes, I had to pay the lease on that car
because it was more of him and my mom
fighting over decision-making, basically.
My mom wanted to make a decision for me.
My dad wanted to make a decision for me.
And ultimately, he was like,
I want you to listen to me
because your mother is wrong all the time,
which is not true.
That's why the divorce happened.
Yeah, it sounds like it was a good thing.
Wow, that's a pretty crazy,
that sounds like a weird punishment.
You're in big trouble.
You're gonna buy this Porsche.
So now I drive a Lambo.
He's like, you have to buy this solid gold car.
I don't care how you do it, but you must.
See, I'm in a weird position with cars with my dad because my dad's very intense about cars.
And he's so hyped on Honda Civics that I've had two in a row.
And if I ever buy a different car than a Honda Civic, my dad's going to be like, well, they're great cars.
I don't know why.
I don't know.
And he also, he's the type, he drove a Vega for, since he was 16 until he had me in his thirties. He drove the same car.
I feel like that's like the Buick of like your father's generation. Like your grandfather
probably loved Buicks. Probably. Cause I feel like old people love driving.
Actually my grant, my grandfather, as frugal as he is, he he is, he bought a T-Bird back in the day.
Whoa, that's cool.
Back in the 50s or 60s.
But he, to this day, is like, I don't know why I spent all that money on it.
It wasn't worth it.
Yeah, that's pretty much every car.
I mean, really, you're just trying to get from point A to point B.
But in style.
Some of us just want to do it in a more extravagant way.
Yeah, I respect it.
I don't think I'll ever buy that expensive of a car because I just don't care enough
and I just don't take care of my car enough.
I care a lot about my image and how people see me on the streets.
Olivia has the most street cred out of all the squad.
Yeah, like the real Olivia, lots of street cred.
So much street cred.
I think it's a thing where it's easy to live without like, you know, luxury things.
And then you have a friend that gets something.
And you're like, oh, ooh, ooh, ooh, that's nice.
Ooh, ooh, that's, wait, this seat gets warm?
And it can also cool?
Ooh, I want that.
Like, so once, once you, once you start getting exposed, you're like, all right, all right.
I can, I can get with that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a lifestyle.
Yeah.
But also I remember when you got your car, you're like, you know, you spend most of your
time in Los Angeles in your car.
Yeah.
So it's like, you might as well have a good experience.
You're going to spend 50% of
your time in the car.
Somebody put it in a good way.
They said you should spend the money on the things that separate you from the ground.
So it's a good bed, good shoes, and a good car.
And a good plane.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah, baby.
You know, what's that song?
Smosh Airlines.
G6. Like G6. Yeah baby What's that song? Smosh Airlines G6 Like G6
Yeah, that song
Far East Movement
Hell yeah, my people
I dig my Honda Civic
I respect it
We have a good thing going
It's chocolate
It is, it is
Kona Black is the official color of my Honda Civic.
Yeah, it's pretty badass.
Just like I like my coffee.
Mm-hmm.
Just like a...
No, go for it.
No, no, no, no.
Come on, it's a podcast.
You can speak your mind, Olivia.
Just like how I like my chocolate.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's right.
Good save.
Just like how I like our other castmate, Keith.
That's right. All right. That is how I like our other castmate, Keith. That's right.
All right.
That is how I prefer Keith.
Kona.
Kona.
Whenever Keith is Caucasian, I'm like, you know what?
No.
No.
This just doesn't feel right.
You know what, Keith?
No.
We're recording this in a really weird time right now because of all the craziness with the announcement of the Mythical and Smosh.
We're actually recording this an hour and 40 minutes after the official announcement on Friday.
Yeah.
So things are chaotic.
Things are chaotic.
We're also shooting a video right now.
Yeah.
One of them of which is Every Podcast Ever.
All right. right now. One of them of which is Every Podcast Ever. Which if you're listening to this on iTunes
or any of your favorite podcast things,
it will be coming out this Friday.
If you're watching this on YouTube,
hey look, it came out today.
You're watching.
Yeah, so it's kind of funny.
We jumped out of a scene and into here.
We started at 6.30 in the morning
and I need more coffee.
I feel like Joe Rogan. I feel like this is what he does. You gotta cough more, like in the morning, and I need more coffee. I feel like Joe Rogan.
I feel like this is what he does.
You got to cough more, like in the middle of that.
This is brought to you by Onnit.
Onnit is a great supplement for your bones and your soul.
You got to smoke a bowl in the middle of it, too.
You have to be like, that's really interesting.
Anyways.
So have you heard about aliens?
And I feel like for video, I feel like his response to everything is, I feel like, yeah, because that's the thing about that, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's very curious, which is cool.
I respect his podcast.
I think that the awesome thing that he does is he listens, which a lot of times with comedy podcasts, everyone's just trying to get a joke in and it's like
every second like oh
my penis though right
and it just
gets annoying like
just let the comedy happen if it's going to
happen and he has a lot of interesting people on
and it's fun to listen to them
yeah sorry go on
no you I'll listen whenever you have
it's like yeah I have a neuroscientist on or an astronomer or something.
It's really interesting.
The first podcast I ever listened to, the guy interviewed Bo Burnham.
And that's how I got into podcasts because I respect the heck out of Bo.
And I've been a fan of his since the beginning days when he had that huge keyboard.
God.
I thought Bo Burnham was a normal size
or a small size person, but he just had this giant keyboard.
So there was this big thing called YouTube Live.
They did it once in San Francisco.
And it must have just been a financial disaster
because they had Katy Perry and Soulja Boy.
It was a big thing.
It was huge.
I watched a lot of it.
Yeah, and this was the first time that other YouTubers
actually saw each other for the first time.
So there was Dax Flame, which if anybody knows who Dax Flame is,
they're freaking out right now because he's a god.
Shay Carl, I believe Rhett and Link.
I think Rhett and Link were there.
They were, yeah.
And Baratza and Joe was there.
Joe Barretta was there.
That dramatic chipmunk was there.
Yep, Charlie bit my finger was there
biting people's fingers.
God, you two, a different time, right?
Different time.
But that's where you saw Beau.
Yes, so we were all put up in the same hotel.
So it was so wild.
Hotel room. Get into the room.
Just one single room. Look, we spent
all the money on Soulja Boy, so
you guys need to cram into this one room.
Don't worry, there's two bathrooms.
I got in an elevator to go to the event
and there was this tall ass dude
standing next to me.
I don't look at people in the face on the elevator.
That's weird. So he got
off and I was like, oh shit, that's Beau.
I don't know if I ever said hi to him.
God, I loved his stuff back then.
And I love his stuff now, obviously.
Eighth Grade's one of my favorite movies of this past year.
Gucci.
But man, he had a video where he was just going about his day.
And it's just him just doing nonsense stuff.
It's so good.
He's so funny.
If only we could be so talented.
He's a genius.
I really think he's one of the most genius people out there.
Yeah.
I mean, listening to him on that podcast, I'm like, I don't necessarily want your brain,
but you're amazing.
Yeah.
I feel like that sometimes.
I feel like that.
I catch myself thinking that when Shane tells a really good joke.
I'm like, God, I wish I had Shane's brain.
My brain is nothing like Bo Burnham's.
Wait, just kidding.
I've never thought that before.
Damn, Olivia, coming in with those roasts.
I knew it was coming.
Knew it was coming.
A compliment?
No, no, no.
I really do think that.
Today, you said something really funny, and I was like, God, I wish I thought of that.
Is that also because your parents got a divorce?
Everything stems back to the divorce, the way I am.
I wasn't born until the divorce.
Small?
Yeah.
You become malnourished?
Oh, my God.
I'm just kidding.
Are you sure that wasn't from your mom just shutting you in the garage for hours?
No, no, no.
That taught me a lot of discipline.
That's where I trained.
Just me in a garage with a punching bag.
Yeah.
For two years.
No, but I feel like I can be myself around you guys.
Like, there's so many different versions.
You know, there's the sassy mama version.
Oh, I know that one well.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, be careful.
Don't you talk any crap.
Do they all have different voices?
Sassy mamas like this.
I'm just kidding.
It just depends what mood I'm in, you know?
Like there's the weird Olivia where I just like make weird sounds.
And when you get mad, though, it's like it's no joke.
Really?
You and Keith have gotten into arguments.
No, I feel like when I'm mad, I'm very monotone.
Yeah, it's monotone, but like your face is still, but you'll be like, no, you're not, that's
no.
Don't even talk to me right now.
I don't even want to, don't even
talk to me. You and Keith, look,
this is one of the funniest moments ever.
We used to obviously fly out to
Sacramento to film sketches
and we'd be there for like three days at
a time and we'd all stay in the Smosh house.
There was one night where you and Keith
got into a,
like you guys like were yelling at each other
from across the house
over Rihanna or Beyonce.
Yes.
It was over that
and Keith was Beyonce.
He was like,
no, Beyonce's the best.
You were all about how Rihanna's really great.
I said Rihanna's really great too.
Yeah, and he just,
yeah, there wasn't an actual argument happening because you were just saying Rihanna's also talented
and Keith was just like, no, Beyonce.
Just Beyonce.
Well, I think Keith likes to be,
he just likes to be,
yeah, he likes to be a little bitch sometimes.
He'll admit he's petty.
And no, and he knows too.
He was like, I'm petty as fuck.
And I'm like, yeah, you are.
Why are you trying to start a fight with me?
You obviously know I love Rihanna.
We didn't see each other's faces.
We were just yelling from Keith's room and then the living room.
We were just yelling at each other.
And then you can hear Noah with his patronizing laugh,
which pisses me off so much because you know when I'm passionate.
Do not patronize me by doing the Noah laugh.
Do the Noah laugh, Shane.
I don't know what it is.
It's just so annoying.
I was like, uh-huh.
Yeah, yeah, something like that.
Yeah.
And I'm just like, oh my God.
And then they're laughing because they're in love with each other.
And then I'm just sitting there and I'm like, okay, no one's defending Rihanna.
I got to defend my homegirl.
Courtney and I are kind of just like, I think I was off,
I would sleep right near the front door
on an aeroband.
You'd be the first one to get stabbed
in a burglary.
Yeah, to get murdered.
But I was kind of just there just listening,
kind of laughing,
something like this is hilarious.
The laughs don't help.
Courtney, I think, was right there
supporting you.
She was like, guys, come on.
And I'm like, I don't need this.
I'm strong.
But eventually, eventually, eventually,
they were just yelling at each other, just nonsense.
And then eventually Olivia just goes, shut up.
And then there's a pause.
There's a pause.
And then you hear Keith just go, she did not just tell me to shut up, did she?
She did not just tell me to shut up.
She just told me to shut up.
I'm pretty sure I said shut your mouth.
Which is worse.
It's so funny, though, because it's over Rihanna and Beyonce.
And I start crying.
Yeah.
I start crying because it's the worst when two immature, like, dudes,
like, are making you feel so little.
And maybe it's a complex that I have.
I don't like to feel small.
But they were just, like, so mean to me me and nobody was helping me out.
It's probably because Beyonce is better than Rihanna.
Dude, don't even get me started.
And we should clarify, like, we love each other a lot.
And this is over, this was probably, what, three years ago?
But then this argument ended literally within, I cried for like 30 seconds.
It was really funny.
I was laughing that I was crying.
I was so mad.
And then like I think two minutes later, Keith comes out.
He goes, he's like, I don't like it when you tell me to shut my mouth.
I'm like, I'm sorry, but you're a mean.
And then we hugged it out.
Yeah, that's literally how the squad would go.
Back in the day, I mean, still, we'll just go through a day where it's just like, we're just mad at each
other for some dumb reason, like Rihanna and Beyonce,
and then the next day it's, we're back to being best friends.
I wish somebody could record, like, us
arguing, because it's so funny.
And our arguments are never that serious.
It's always Rihanna and Beyonce or something like that.
Yeah, it's because, like, I think we're tired,
and, like, we're just, you know, we've been
around each other for a little too long.
It's like a family.
It's like we're some big Italian family.
We all get mad at each other, and then we make up.
That always scared me with one of my exes.
Her whole family would go crazy on each other,
be screaming at each other,
and then we'd all go to bed the next morning,
everybody would be sitting, eating breakfast all friendly. I'm like, what the hell just happened?
That's crazy.
I'm the type, I have to talk about it.
Like I can't argue and then go back to being normal.
I have to be like, hey, I'm sorry about this.
Yeah, me too.
Or let's talk about that.
Let's put it in the past.
But I can't just not bring it up again.
When some people just bottle it up, like they never talk about it.
So they just bury it deep
and then one day it'll just
spring up and just
fuck everything. I'm not like that at all.
I'm very forgetful.
See, if I offended anyone
in any way, I have to make sure
that it's in the past. Damien and I are both that way
to such an extreme where we will
apologize to each other for things that never happened.
The first time I ever met Damien,
we were like at a lunch
that was great, whatever.
Then the next day I see him
and he goes,
he goes, hey man,
I just want to just ask like,
I interrupted you at one point
yesterday during lunch.
I just want to make sure like,
I hope that didn't,
you know, I didn't mean to do that.
I hope it didn't,
and I was like,
I don't even remember that happening.
He cares about you.
So funny.
I mean, this was the first time we met.
That's really sweet.
Yeah, and it's pretty accurate of what he's like all the time.
That's awesome.
I love Damien.
Damien's a good guy.
He's a good guy.
Unlike you.
Okay.
You're a great guy.
You are a great guy.
You're a great guy, too.
Thank you.
No problem, Olivia.
Well, speaking of guys.
Ooh. I'm in between two. Oh problem, Olivia. Well, speaking of guys. Ooh.
I'm in between two.
Oh.
Guy sandwich.
That's my favorite chef.
Olivia.
Guy Fieri's little brother.
Guy sandwich.
Guy sandwich.
They have different last names in that family.
But it's pronounced Guy sandwich.
Guy sandwich.
I hate that he just like, he insists that people say Fieri. That's not even his last name, right? He can do whatever he wants. It's pronounced Guy Sandwich. Guy Sandwich. I hate that he insists that people say Fieri.
That's not even his last name, right?
He can do whatever he wants.
It's probably Guy Johnson.
It's like Jones or something.
Guy Jones.
Clark Bunsen.
Just Guy Balrog.
Guy Balrog.
He is a Balrog.
I love the photo of him with somebody photoshopped out his facial hair
and gave him normal hair, and it's so good.
He just looks like an accountant.
He looks like someone who works at H&R Block.
Speaking of guys, Olivia, you got yourself a guy.
You got yourself a guy.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, tell us about your guy.
Tell us about your man.
Well, my man, his name is Sam.
Oh.
Actually, I had to confess to Sam a couple days ago.
So I've seen Sam on Instagram since I was like 17.
Okay, what?
Hold on.
This messes up the narrative.
No, no, no.
I know.
It's not like I didn't know who Sam was.
I knew who Sam was because I think one day my friend showed me, because like my friend
knew him.
Like we, you know how like the acting circle in LA, it's like, you know, we all have mutual
friends and whatnot.
Someone showed me him and I was like, oh, this guy's like super funny.
He is.
And like, and like, I just forgot about it.
But then like he
also has a very unforgettable face yeah so like i was you know sometimes i'm like oh yeah that guy
was funny and then um obviously you guys started working together like i never thought after seeing
his instagram and like seeing who he was i would ever date this guy so you're saying you're saying
you're saying like six years ago six years ago because I just never like put those,
you know, I would never look at someone like,
yeah, I'm going to date this guy.
But you weren't following him on Instagram.
No, I wasn't following him.
I was admiring him.
You just saw him forever ago.
Yeah, and I was like, oh yeah, this guy's so funny.
Shane, you met Sam because you're both on the Goldbergs, right?
So I met Sam like 10 years ago.
Oh, were you also admiring him on Instagram?
Yes, I admired him on Instagram.
I was like, this guy's really funny.
I love his memorable face.
Acting circles, I just saw him around when I was a teenager,
and we never worked together, but we just knew each other.
We had mutual friends.
And then, yeah, I was working on Smosh.
I knew Olivia.
And then I happened to book the Goldbergs
and started working on that with Sam.
And I was like, how funny is this?
I'm working together with him.
Very early on, just talking to him, I'd work with him sometimes,
and I'd be working here with Olivia.
And there were times where I was like, they are so alike.
It's like a man-Olivia.
You would tell me that, too.
And you both, at the time, you were in relationships,
but I probably, it's not great of me, was saying, hey, I know, like, whatever,
but you guys would be great together.
You were slipping it in.
But he never really said that.
Not really, but I just knew it.
But then both of your things kind of ended
around the same time, like within months of each other.
Sam would see photos of, like, Instagram photos with us,
and then he started to be like,
hey, so what's up with your castmate Olivia?
He's like, what's up with her?
And then like.
But did he ever ask about me?
No.
No.
But then, yeah, he was jokingly just be like,
he'd be like, yeah, so what's up with Olivia?
I love her.
He just was super into you pretty quickly,
and I kept being like, you guys would be great together.
And then he kept being like, yeah, well I don't, yeah but I don't want to be in a relationship right now like I
yeah whatever I'm like all right because sure you guys would be great together I would bring it up
to you and you were like ah yeah I don't know like whatever but then you guys he like commented on
one of your Instagram stories yeah like you know we would talk about Shane that's how that was like
that was the main topic like
great you want to talk about shane for five hours yeah sure literally i think that was like an
opportunity for us to like talk but it would be about shane although like i think we both enjoyed
talking to each other and i was like hey shane yeah i think me and sam are gonna like
hang out in real life and i was still was I still in a relationship I was like it was
a couple days after no you were
you guys were you guys were single
I remember before you ever
met you didn't actually have plans
you bumped into each other at a grocery
store right right no it
was was that a little planned it was
a little planned ah see I
had this narrative in my head that you guys bumped into each
other like a Michael Bublé
music video. Remember when we started pulling
things out from her? She's like,
oh yeah, I went to a movie or something.
We're like, who'd you go to the movie with?
And she's like,
Sam, did
just the movie? She's like, yeah, just the movie.
And then later on, okay, we also
got a drink afterwards.
Oh really, Was that it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's all that happened.
Oh, okay.
And then a week later, it's like, yeah, we also made out that night.
Yeah.
No, I mean, it's no big deal, but we also smooched.
Yeah.
No, that's...
But you were right.
This is why I think...
Very quickly.
Within a month, you guys were like, I love him.
I love her.
Yeah.
I was like, all right, I called it.
But it's also really funny because we're so similar and like, that's what attracted us.
Not that I'm obsessed with myself.
You guys are different, but you have a lot of similar interests and, and views on life.
And, and you take a lot of things in stride the same way and that's where i was like
okay you guys are gonna work really well together um in that regard yeah because yeah you both you
literally both there's a specific grocery store in la that i don't know anyone who goes there
except for the two of you yeah and stuff like that was where i was like all right and like the way
like we love to work out yeah but these are all outside things, exterior things.
But I would say Sam is probably the most genuine, kindest person.
He really is.
He doesn't fake it.
He just shows you exactly how he feels, and he's just so, so kind.
I remember when we first started dating, I was like, wow, I feel like you're just too nice.
I feel like I'm just so mean compared to you. Like, you're just.
You are.
And then I was like, uh-huh, we both like talk shit.
I mean, that is an interesting distinction,
especially with LA, because nobody
wants to ruin a connection.
Everybody is playing the sort of nice game.
And there are some people you could read through, you're like,
all right, you're just putting on the face for me.
It's weird.
It's always weird.
But when you find those genuine people, you got to grab onto those people
and never let them go.
Look, I'll admit, I think dating is really hard for me
because I think it's really hard for me to let loose
and be my weird self on the first couple of dates.
So I don't feel connected because I'm not allowing myself to be genuine.
And I recognize it.
And I'm like, I want to stop.
I want to be real, but I can't.
Then I'm trying to be me.
And then that doesn't work.
It's it's hard, man.
It sucks. But I feel like I always said that any girl who dates Shane is just, they're going to.
Shane is the best.
He's so, you're just so, like you're.
There's a diss at the end of this rainbow.
No, there isn't.
There isn't.
I promise you.
You're just so, like, well-rounded.
And, like, you really take the time to understand
the other person's point of view,
which is so important in a relationship.
And I just see that you always do that for everyone,
and you're so calm.
Are you going to cry, Shane?
Do we have any tissues?
Cry, you little bitch.
Do we have any tissues?
Do it.
I'm fine.
I honestly think you're such a great guy.
Thanks, Olivia.
Do you want a date?
I'll date Sam.
Cool.
Yeah.
But I always, I don't know,
I feel like you totally made the whole Sam and Olivia relationship happen.
If it wasn't for you.
Yeah, you have to compliment me now that I helped you find the love of your life.
If we ever get married.
You're legally obligated to compliment me forever.
So that's all you're doing here
is you're fulfilling that contract.
Is Shane going to be
your maid of honor?
Ooh.
I feel like it's only fitting
that I am both best man
and maid of honor.
And I just walk back and forth.
No, we'll cut you in half.
Yeah, yeah.
I just don't think
you're going to look great.
Hey.
Okay.
Hey, excuse me.
What was up with that compliment before?
That was really cool.
I mean, I have like a color, like I want lilac.
And lilac's just not gonna look good.
Just not my color, yeah, I get that.
Was that, that choice was on purpose
so that I couldn't do it.
Exactly.
You know, everyone knows lilac is not my color.
I was color swatching you.
Oh, God.
I got pantoned.
But I really do hope that, Shane, you, I don't know, make a speech or something if we ever get married.
I'll make a speech.
Okay.
Yeah.
Better be funny.
Oh, I'm just going to make it genuine.
But not like that funny.
Not too funny.
Not too funny.
Not too funny where I'm like destroying the tone of the whole night.
Exactly.
Like you want to hit a certain like vibe at the reception but be there
but like hit the laugh and then be like
and then like kind of like smirk to myself
and be like no but for real
I'll let you practice your stand up
like my tight five just right there
has nothing to do with you and Sam
just practicing your jokes
I think the speech could go something like this
you just go he was a boy
she was a girl.
Couldn't be any more obvious.
He liked punk and she liked ballet.
What more can I say?
See, I think you should just do something like that
and just wait to see how long it takes
for the people to realize you just ripped off a song.
And then as soon as I finish that one,
just go right into, hey, hey, you, you.
I guarantee my parents will not understand
what you're talking about. I should be your girlfriend.
We'll have to do it in Mandarin after.
Yeah, oh, you also have to cater to the Mandarin audience.
Boy, I'll learn Mandarin to give a speech at your wedding.
Chinese weddings are dope though, right?
So lit.
I feel like every culture has better weddings
than American weddings.
Yeah, we're like, I don't know,
you do a thing with the priest and then you go eat food
and then you have some cake.
I just wanna tell you guys, you guys are both single
and I know I'm always scouting for women for you guys.
I'm always out there thinking about you guys.
Well, if you know a girl
that's interested in somebody that's dead inside,
then
I'm your guy.
Yes.
I feel like there's got to be somebody
for that.
Somebody that just wants an emotionless rock.
Corpse bride.
Yeah.
I'm always thinking, which one of my friends can date shane or ian or keith or courtney i feel
like i don't do well god i'm not single yeah i feel like it always ends with that all of your
thoughts end with thank god i'm not saying god like I don't know if I want kale or celery smoothie.
Thank God I'm not saying that.
Oh, my God.
Celery juice.
I've been obsessed.
Yeah?
Wait, you know, like, I—
Does this just make you shit?
Go on.
Oh, my God.
Guys, like, celery juice is, like, the newest trend.
I mean, it's a little, like, a little too weak.
Celery doesn't really have anything to it, though, right?
Well, you're wrong.
Isn't the point of celery is that it actually, it's the only food you lose calories
while eating
because it takes more
to digest it
than it actually gives you?
Yes, but it's so good
for skin
and like,
you detoxify your liver.
Isn't it kind of like
bad to eat
like a lot of celery?
I'm sure it's bad
to eat a lot of anything.
That's true, that's true.
So for an entire week
and a half,
I was drinking celery juice
every single morning
and shitting my pants.
Yeah.
It was insane.
Like, all these celebrities.
It gave me dysentery.
All these celebrities were promoting celery juice.
And I was like, oh, OK, cool.
And, you know, Sam and I were like, let's try it.
You know, so we would buy, like, a stock of celery.
Like, one stock of celery makes a cup of celery juice.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
Wow.
So we were drinking that.
So it's pretty cheap.
I think it's pretty. A stock of celery is, like, nothing. $1.99. $2.99. And it's only $ Wow. So we were drinking that. So it's pretty cheap. I think it's pretty-
The stock of celery is like nothing.
$1.99.
$2.99.
And it's only-
Whoa, $2.99?
And it's only-
I go to Whole Foods.
That's some fancy celery there.
Let's say it's only $250 if you get Whole Foods.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So we were doing that because Sam wanted to improve skin, and I was just doing it because
I'm a trendy LA bitch.
So we were drinking that every morning, and I was just, dude, it was bad.
Can I just tell you, this is gross.
No, no, explain it in detail.
Because everyone is promoting it.
Just say it really quietly into the mic just right up here.
Okay, so like everyone's promoting it
and I'm like, if Jessica Garner,
yeah, Jennifer Garner's drinking celery juice,
I'm gonna do it.
So then I start doing it and I had,
the second time i
had it i was driving back home and i had it and sam was like dude you gotta you gotta take me home
like i have to go to the bathroom and i was like all right all right damn it i guess we i mean he
has one bathroom i'm like like fine you go to the i'll go home because i live down the street
dude driving home was the worst I contemplated
just going on someone's lawn.
Have you ever thought that?
Whoa, I've never thought.
No, I'm a pretty sane person.
But you would get out of your car,
you'd park your car, get out,
and just diarrhea on someone else's lawn.
See, I'm taking the L.
My Honda Civic is taking the L.
That's why I don't get a fancy car,
so I can diarrhea in my car.
I feel like in LA, you would jump out, diarrhea all over the person's lawn.
Person would come out and go, celery diet?
Yeah.
And then just drop trowel and just diarrhea next year.
Tim Kardashian comes out, celery juice.
I think it's fun to know that all these big celebrities are probably just diarrhea-ing.
That's what I'm thinking.
Shitting themselves every day.
Seriously.
Jennifer Garner, Kim Kardashian. Just shitting all the time. Shitting themselves every day. Seriously. Jennifer Garner, Kim Kardashian,
Bella Hadid, they're all
just shitting constantly.
I want to tell you guys this. I remember
thinking, like, I was sweating.
Like, it was so bad. I contemplated
crapping on someone's lawn.
Like, that's, I've never thought that
in my life, but it was so hard
to, like, not think that.
Just imagine. Dude,
I had food poisoning on set on
Goldberg's like a month ago, and I
had to drive all the way home on the 405
with food poisoning, and it took
an hour, and the entire time I was like,
I'm going to throw up and crap
all in my car. I'm going to
park my car in my parking
spot, open the door, and it's going to be a flood of
just all of my body. As I just swim to park my car in my parking spot, open the door, and it's going to be a flood of just all of my body.
As I just swim out of my car.
Do you guys remember Olestra?
No.
Are you guys too young for that?
I'm 12.
I was born in a different generation.
We worked with somebody who was literally a year older than Shane, and he was like, we're from a different generation.
So Elestra was a chemical that they realized that you wouldn't absorb the fat of food
if you put this chemical called Elestra.
So what they did was they put them in potato chips because they're like,
oh, potato chips are fatty.
If you don't absorb the fat, then, hey, you could eat a bunch of potato chips.
What they didn't realize is that people
don't just eat a serving, a single
serving of chips.
So what happened was
people were eating entire bags of chips with the
Olestra and then just
shitting their brains out because
it essentially lubed up
all the stuff down there,
and it just passed straight through.
That's awesome.
I think they were like lays.
Serving sizes of chips are an actual joke.
I think a serving size of Cheetos is like eight Cheetos.
No one eats eight Cheetos.
I eat Cheetos.
You do.
Okay, this is one of the weirdest things about Olivia.
It bothers me so much to this day is that she will pick up a Cheeto and she will take 10 bites out of it.
No, she'll take eight bites out of it.
There will still be some left and she'll set it down and save it for later.
People think I do it on purpose because I feel like –
No, it's real.
Like people think it's because, oh, you don't want to gain weight.
No, it's literally because I just have these weird things that I like to do.
It's just part of my quirk.
I don't even do it for anyone.
It's just who I am. I just like to take little bites. It's so weird because I like to do. It's just part of my quirk. I don't even do it for anyone. It's just who I am.
I just like to take little bites.
It's so weird because I'm the opposite.
I can't eat a single Cheeto at a time.
I don't think I can eat three Cheetos at a time.
I have to take a frigging handful of five plus Cheetos
and smash them into my stupid mouth.
That's the only way I can eat Cheetos.
Speaking of Cheetos,
this is a topic
I actually wanted
to talk about here
because I've been
bringing this up this week.
Who the hell
eats regular Cheetos?
Nowadays?
Flaming hot Cheetos
are the only Cheetos
anyone should be eating.
Anyone who eats
regular Cheetos
is for sure a terrorist.
Or probably just somebody
from like 1990s
in a time machine.
Like, oh, Cheetos, great.
Love these things.
Yeah, boy, just, like, whenever there these things. Yeah, boy, just like,
whenever there's regular Cheetos around,
I'm like, why did we do this?
Who wants this?
I mean, it's not bad.
There's Flaming Hot Cheetos.
I know they're not bad,
but Flaming Hot Cheetos are significantly better.
Everyone could agree about that.
Anyone listening who disagrees, I don't.
Because it masks the flavor of Cheetos.
No, it's a different flavor entirely.
Flaming Hot Cheetos are not even cheesy.
No, it's like a weird flavor, but you should try it with cream cheese.
Whoa.
Baby.
That sounds crazy.
It's so good.
It's probably so bad for you, but I remember in high school, that's all I ate.
That sounds really good.
You know what I will admit?
What I think I like more than Flaming Hot Cheetos
occasionally is Takis.
Takis Fuego.
Lit.
Takis Fuego are significantly...
That's another thing.
Would you eat normal Takis,
or would you just eat Takis Fuego?
Well, Takis Fuego are the only Takis.
Oh, really?
I don't think there's any...
It's just, yeah, it's just hot Takis.
Well, since now we're on the topic of snacks,
and I've been wanting to talk about this. I've been thinking about it. Well since now we're on the topic of snacks and I've been I've been wanting
to talk about this.
I've been thinking about it.
What's going on?
I'm really obsessed
with puffs these days.
Like
Yeah Cheetos puffs
are the only time
where I think the regular
No not Cheetos puffs.
Not Cheetos puffs.
No just anything
that dissolves in my mouth
about me chewing.
Anything puffed.
What things come puffed?
You can make anything puffed.
How do you make things puffed?
I don't know.
What? Olivia. Babies eat puffs because they can't anything puffed. How do you make things puffed? I don't know. What?
Olivia.
Babies eat puffs because they can't chew.
Babies eat puffs?
Yeah.
Like what?
What kind of puffs?
I don't know.
You put it in your mouth and it dissolves.
Like Rice Krispies, I guess.
That's puffed rice.
It's soft and then when you put it in your mouth,
your saliva kind of dissolves it.
Like cotton candy?
No, I think.
That's a puff.
Is that a puff?
It's a sugar puff.
I love how light it is and the minimum work that I have to do to digest it or eat it.
Hillary Puff?
That's funny.
That's funny, Shane.
Thanks.
That's what I do.
But it's a snack that I love. I do But um It's a snack
That I love
Been eating some
Sweet potato puffs
Okay
I've been eating some
Paleo puffs
Those are good
Okay
They're like
Made
Paleo puffs?
Yeah
Made from like vegetables?
Yeah
It's like made from like
Cassava root or something
See I don't
I'm just
I'm not like the LA
Diet person Guys I am so L.A.
When it comes to diet, you're very L.A.
It's annoying. It's so annoying.
The only L.A. diet thing I do is I love kombucha.
You also love poke.
I do love poke, but that's not necessarily L.A.
That's not L.A.
That's not L.A.
Come on, that's Hawaiian.
I do love sushi, but I also love fish.
I love all seafood.
I will eat any type of seafood.
When I go to Florida, the seafood there love fish. I love all seafood. I will eat any type of seafood.
When I go to Florida, the seafood there is fantastic.
Do you like uni?
What is, is that octopus?
Sea urchin.
Sea urchin.
I've had uni.
I like it.
It's really good.
That's like one that's like really split because it's like a, it's more of a texture thing. I had some in Japan that was really good.
It literally looks like a tongue.
Yeah, it's weird, but I like it.
I'm more a fan of like fish.
Fish and crabs and lobster and shrimp and oysters.
Oh, my God.
Oysters on the half shell?
Get out of town.
But I feel like if you eat a bad oyster, you'll be sh-
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, you might as well drink a whole bunch of celery juice at that point.
Yeah.
Yeah, I love me some oysters.
I never even had an oyster until probably a couple years ago.
Really?
Oh, boy.
And my friend, she worked at an oyster bar.
So she was like, all right, gave me the whole rundown and everything
and showed me how to put the things on it.
And was like, okay, so the oysters from the Pacific coast of the U.S.
are fattier and the shells are thicker because of the cold water.
But on the east coast, it's warmer water
so the shells are thinner and it's less fatty.
I was like, wow, I'm learning so much.
And I'm gonna pass off this knowledge
so I can sound smart.
Wait, do you guys really think oysters are an aphrodisiac?
Like do you eat an oyster?
No, I mean apparently there is some science to that
of like, but it's not extreme.
It's not like, oh I just ate an oyster, now I have a boner.
It's just like, it might have effects that could lead to another.
It's slimy, wet sea clam.
Exactly.
So it's a myth.
I don't think it's necessarily a myth as much as it's just not.
It's more like, oh, it can cause some things that might lead to some things.
I also think when you're having oysters,
typically it's a more fancy occasion.
So there are other accoutrements.
That makes sense.
So it's the ambiance that's making you.
I think so.
Who just hangs out and eats oysters?
Fishermen.
And fishermen do bang a lot.
They bang all the time.
What else?
Hey, you know if they say the boats are rocking,
it's some fisherman fucking.
That's why there's so many orgies and jaws.
Really?
Dude, have you seen Deadly's Catch?
No.
They're just banging.
I get seasick watching sea movies.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, The Perfect Storm.
It's about an orgy.
It's about fishermen eating a ton of oysters. I George Clooney's George Clooney Mark Wahlberg it's the perfect storm
John C Reilly yeah combining all just banging oh yeah yeah they had too many oysters well let's
let's talk a little bit about about the the thing that happened today. So, yeah, we announced that mythical bot Smosh.
We are now part of the whole family.
It's very exciting.
We brought back so many people from the Defy disaster,
and that's been really awesome.
We've been teasing this for a couple days,
and one of the big speculations was that Anthony was coming back.
Oh, really? I didn't even know that.
I mean, did you not read a single comment?
Dude, oh, man.
No, I try to stay away from comments.
I try to as well because it's like,
oh, here's this announcement of awesome, Smosh, and all this stuff.
And it's like several comments will be like, yeah, this is great.
And then there's one comment that's like sweet.
Now you can get rid of Shane, Olivia, Keith, Noah,
and Courtney because they suck and I don't like them.
I'm like, all right, dude, thanks for killing the vibe, man.
I just like to think that, you know,
I'm just unliked all the time.
So I don't have any expectations, you know?
Yeah.
That's a good way of going in life.
Yeah.
Not bad.
We've gotten very used to, it's been four years
and I still see comments that are like,
get rid of those, who are these new people?
Like if you're commenting that,
that means you haven't watched in four years.
I think that's the thing,
because these sort of large announcements
kind of pierce through the viewer base
that's currently watching,
it hits some of the old people
that only know Smosh as myself and Anthony,
rather than the sort of family that we've since built.
So for a lot of those people,
you're gonna see those comments
and they're gonna be upvoted by other people
that were like, what the hell is this?
And for them, they're seeing something
that's completely different. Right.
So Anthony is not coming back.
I mean, the door is open.
If he wants to come make videos with us,
he's more than welcome.
But the thing is, like, those people,
they're not going to be happy either way.
Because if we get Anthony in a video,
it's not like we're going to be going back to like, you know, uh,
2012 Smosh or even 2015 or 2016 Smosh.
Like that's,
that's past.
That's gone.
It's right.
It's,
we did that and we've moved on.
Like we,
we've built this family where we have this sort of thing that we're doing.
And so,
and even if we did try to go back and do that,
it'd be trash.
You can't, you can't win with those people.
It's like, that's one of those cases
where you just really have to trust in what you're doing
and trust in the people around you
and just kind of rally together.
It would be fun to get Anthony in some videos.
I really want him for Try Not to Laugh
and some other stuff.
Yeah, I mean I miss that guy.
I have a lot of ideas.
Yeah.
A lot of Padilla ideas. Oh. I'm sorry, I'll take that guy. I have a lot of ideas. Yeah. A lot of Padilla ideas.
I'm sorry, I'll take that back. I'm taking that back right now.
I just want to say, like,
with those comments, the thing that I think a lot, though,
is that I think they're really disrespectful towards
Anthony. Yeah. Because he's had his own channel,
he's been doing his own thing for almost,
is it two years now, more? Yeah, almost, yeah.
And I mean, he's killing it, and he's doing great.
His stuff is really funny, and
to say, like, oh, yeah, now Anthony can come back to Smosh and. His stuff is really funny. And to say like, oh yeah,
now Anthony can come back to Smosh and all that stuff.
Then what you're saying is,
hey, stop doing your own thing.
No, I only like you on Smosh.
I feel like that's super disrespectful to him
because I'm sure he's having a great time
doing his own thing.
I'm sure it's, and it's awesome.
It's great stuff.
I mean, he wouldn't be doing it
if he didn't like doing it
so that's a thing
and to say like oh
Smosh is only Ian and Anthony
and if Anthony's going off doing his own thing
like then fuck that
that's not cool that's not cool for anybody
because that's reciprocal you're saying oh
Smosh is only Ian and Anthony you're also saying Anthony
is only Smosh it's like no
if you're commenting that stuff, go support Anthony.
Go support him, like help.
Or support everybody.
Yeah, support, I mean.
Or maybe if you just don't have something nice to say,
maybe just don't say it.
Yeah.
And it's, yeah, it's tough.
But I know it's a small group,
because the majority of our fan base
is so awesome and supportive.
Yeah, our fan, I feel like our fan base
is just unlike any.
You know, we've been around for 12 years
and we've just seen everything.
It's a wide range of people.
Yeah, it's a lot.
Because we do have these sort of legacy viewers
that have been watching Smosh since 2005.
And we see it on our demographics.
Our biggest demographic is 18 to 24 and then 24 to 35 and then 13 to 17.
Yeah.
So it's definitely a lot of people that grew up watching Smosh, whether they started in middle school or high school.
And now they're in college, out of college.
They popped out some babies.
They're still watching.
Some experiences of meeting Smosh fans are really funny.
Like I was in Catalina Island doing the zip line there.
And our instructor, every time he was like zipping people off, he was like, hey, so what do you do?
And I was like, I'm going to count.
He's like, cool.
And he'd like zip them off, whatever.
I come up and he's just like, hey.
As he's hooking me up to the zip line, he's like, so what do you do?
And I'm like, I do YouTube comedy.
And he's like, oh, cool.
What's the channel you're on?
I'm like, oh, it's called Smosh. He stops. He looks at me and he goes, I love YouTube comedy. And he's like, oh, cool. What's the channel you're on? I'm like, oh, it's called Smosh.
He stops.
He looks at me and he goes, I love Smosh.
And then just pushes me off.
That's great.
Yeah.
And then one time I was in Croatia.
And my waiter at this one outside restaurant, he was just like, excuse me.
He's like, are you on Smosh?
And I'm like, yeah.
He's like, awesome.
He's like, I thought you'd be taller.
Oh, my god. It was? And I'm like, yeah. He's like, awesome. He's like, I thought you'd be taller. Oh, yeah.
Oh, my God.
It was really funny.
It was super cute.
Yeah, I've gotten that a few times.
And it's just like sometimes it's like a look of disappointment.
I thought you'd be Rhett and Link.
Yeah, because there's been times when it'll be like a girl that's taller than me.
She's like, I thought you'd be taller.
I'm like, well, I'm not so.
Yeah.
I've gotten that before, but it's very different.
They thought I was Mari.
Like, for real, they thought I was Mari.
They took the photo, and they're like, yeah, so, Mari.
I was like, oh, I'm like, you think I'm Mari?
But they didn't have any pretense that you were in Smosh before that.
They just came up to you at a random place and said, I think you're Mari.
Yeah.
Wow.
And I was like, oh, no, I'm not Mari.
I'm like, I'm Olivia.
And they're like, oh, we only watch Smosh games.
I never get offended when people think I'm Mari.
You two look nothing alike.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Mari's got purple hair.
What if he was just calling me?
That's possible.
Oh, man.
Because that would have been sad.
I had a guy, and it was right after I cut my hair,
when I had the bowl haircut.
It was actually the first time I cut my bowl off
because I went back because people were saying
I had a receding hairline and I got self-conscious.
You don't.
Well, I do, but it stayed in the relatively same place.
It doesn't matter.
I probably read too many comments and took them apart.
God, the comments really, even when you think like,
oh, they don't affect me, man, one comment can just ruin your day.
Yeah, I'm getting a boob job because everyone says,
no, it doesn't affect me.
I'm just kidding.
But the first time that I cut my hair,
I was walking through the mall and went to Hot Topic
because that's where all the cool kids shop.
Yeah.
And I was wearing, I think I was wearing a smosh shirt,
which is kind of embarrassing to say now
because it's cheesy when you wear your own merch in public.
I wore smosh stuff in public.
But at that time, well, that's what I meant.
I have sandals that say Shane.
Me too.
My sandals say Shane too.
But at that time it was also like free clothes.
So half my clothes were merch.
So the guy saw my shirt and he's like,
oh, yeah, I watch Smosh.
I was like, cool, man.
And then I thought he was doing this bit with me
where he didn't recognize me.
And we were talking.
We had a full onon conversation about Smosh.
And I started to realize, like, oh, he doesn't know that I'm in it.
That's crazy.
And I was just like, and I didn't tell him.
I didn't bother to tell him.
I just, I paid for my things.
And I was like, all right, see you later, man.
And I just walked out of there.
That's so funny.
That's so funny.
But it was because I didn't have the bowl.
The bowl is the defining factor. I got recognized
way less when I cut the bowl
the second time, too. I think it's funny
when I get recognized
what's great is, what's funny
is when they're like, hey, are you on Smosh?
I'm just like, oh, yeah.
And then there's that pause.
It's kind of like, they're like, cool.
And I'm like, yeah, cool.
And then eventually one of us is like, do you want to take a photo?
I'm always super awkward.
Yeah.
One person came up and they're like, are you guys Smosh?
And I'm like, yeah.
And then she just took a picture and just walked away.
Like, you don't want to be in it?
All right.
There will be a couple times where someone will be like, oh, you're on Smosh? I'm like, yeah. And they're like, cool. And they'll just shake my hand and then walk off. I'm like, you don't want to be in it? All right. There will be a couple times where someone will be like, oh, you're on Smosh?
I'm like, yeah.
And they're like, cool.
And they'll just shake my hand and then walk off.
I'm like, cool.
That was very respectful.
I've experienced that, too.
Wow.
These experiences are so unrelatable to so many people, too.
It's like such-
It is a weird thing.
Yeah.
Because before Smosh, I never experienced that at all.
And then it started to happen very quickly within months.
Do you ever approach other famous people?
I don't.
And I think fans should always come up.
If you see me out somewhere, I'm always willing to take a photo or meet you or whatever.
But I don't go up to other celebrities mainly because of fear of them being a jerk.
I'm like, I don't want to meet my hero and them be mean to me,
and then that's all ruined forever.
We went to the premiere of Dumb and Dumber 2,
and there was an after party, and Jim Carrey was walking by,
and I was like, that guy's a legend and I'm never gonna
get the chance to see him again and I hate myself for doing this but I'm gonna just screw it I'm
just gonna do it I'm just gonna go ask him for a photo and I was like and he was walking I was like
hey man would it be like big fan you know whatever like could I get a photo he's like he's like oh
sorry no and I was like a lot of a lot of celebrities just have a rule of like, no.
I've heard Chris Pratt has openly said he doesn't do that.
Well, yeah, me and Chris are good friends.
Yeah, you know, yeah.
Yeah, if you want that picture, I can make it happen.
I think I'd maybe get a photo.
Does Chris Pratt still follow you?
I haven't checked.
I'm not checked.
I think I would ask for a photo if it was something kind of funny.
Like if I saw Guy Fieri, I'd be like, all right, I'm getting a photo with Guy Fieri.
Oh, man, I got a photo with Nick Crompton.
That was one of my shining moments.
See, stuff like that, that's great.
That's smart.
I was like,
because it was maybe a few months after It's Every Day Bro.
Ooh, so that's prime Crompton.
Yeah, and Crompton is everyone's favorite.
That's peak Crompton.
We can all agree, Nick Crompton is the true hero.
He is the heart and soul.
He was the heart and soul of Team 10.
I didn't like him for a while,
but then I was like,
and then we watched the documentary.
I was like, wow, you're smart.
Like you have a brain.
Yeah.
He actually hit me up when Defy collapsed.
He actually hit me up and was like,
looking for some,
he was trying to get
in there what do you mean and try to save he was trying to like look for a way to like wow
crompton so weird we got on a call we got on a call and stuff and it didn't it didn't really
work out sweetie but but anyway so yeah i um i saw him at a party at vidcon and i was like i i gotta
get a photo with with crompton you got to and was like, hey man, England's my city too.
And he's like, oh, I didn't even mean to say that.
He just wrote it in.
I was like.
He's a nice guy, good guy.
There's one YouTuber that if I saw I'm getting a photo of
and that's Danny Sexbang.
Huge fan of him, have been for a long time.
And I know a lot of people I know know him.
But I'm not trying to force it.
I want it to happen naturally.
But you're saying if I were to set up a meeting.
Listen, all I'm saying is please help me meet Danny Sexbang.
I would love that.
God, I've been such a fan.
Such a fan.
I think Ian can make that happen.
I know it's very realistic for me to meet him. Are you going to embarrass me, Shane a fan. I think Ian can make that happen. I know it's very realistic for me to meet him.
Are you going to embarrass me, Shane?
Yeah.
I'm going to drink a liter of celery juice before I meet Danny Sex.
And just dump?
And just dump right in front of him.
He's just like, hey, how's it going, man?
I just crap myself.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's the goal.
I'm a fan of both the Game Grumps.
I'm a huge fan.
And I've seen Aaron.
I saw him at VidCon,
and I was just kind of like freaking out near him.
Yeah.
Because, yeah, I have my rule of like,
I'm not going to go greet them, whatever.
But I've heard they're the nicest people.
Yeah.
So I know if I went up and met them, they'd be cool.
Yeah, they're both incredibly nice.
But Danny Sexbang is specifically the one.
Music's great. His music is incredible.
He's such a chill dude.
Yeah, man.
Damien and I are huge fans of both of them.
I would love to meet him. I don't know who he is.
Oh, he's the best.
He's awesome. He's a legend.
Can he be on this podcast?
He could do great on this podcast.
I feel like he's touring all the time.
Yeah.
Like, every time I've tried to, like, get something together, it's like, oh, I'm on
tour.
Or, like, he's on tour, you know.
Yeah.
It would be fun to get him in, because he is incredibly nice.
Yeah, he seems it.
One of the nicest.
He seems it.
I love nice people who are successful.
He kind of reminds me of, like, the second coming of Weird Al Yankovic.
Yeah, that's kind of what he is
in a way. I feel like a lot of
times people who
success finds them later
are super, super nice.
I've heard Steve Carell is super nice and
Danny Sexbang, he
didn't really get blow up and
stuff until he was in his 30s.
He's older now
but he's probably grateful.
Like he's probably like, oh man.
He remembers not having all of this.
So whatever.
Probably put in a lot of work
and put a lot of time into his craft.
I mean you can't just pick up an instrument
or write like that out of nowhere.
He's so good.
We found out a couple days ago
that one of the head people at Defy
or one of the leaders at Defy
blocked a lot of us on Twitter.
Oh, yeah.
He didn't block me, though.
He blocked me.
He blocked me.
And my Twitter is so,
I'm not out for anyone.
I'm nice on Twitter.
I hadn't tweeted anything about Defy at this time. Did he hate my jokes that much?
No, I think it's probably like he
just, you know when you feel
guilt? No, I don't think he felt guilt.
No. It's like a breakup.
He's like, I'm just gonna block her.
I was very happy that he still
followed me, but then I realized, I'm like,
maybe he didn't even remember me.
Maybe he was like, I didn't think to unfollow her because she was
so irrelevant to me. But then I was like, maybe he didn't even remember me. Like, maybe he was like, I didn't think to unfollow her because she was so irrelevant to me.
But then I was like, yeah.
And I think I was stalking his page.
I think he invested in, like, Swedish scooters.
I'm not even joking.
He keeps retweeting the Swedish scooter company.
And I'm like, ugh.
Yeah, someone from Clever, which was another Defy property,
that also got saved.
They got saved by Hearst, which is a giant media conglomerate.
She sent me a screen cap.
I didn't even say anything about it.
She sent me a screen cap this morning that she was blocked by him too.
And I was like, oh my God, we're all blocked.
That's insane.
Look, I don't want to be petty.
I don't want any ill will out there.
But all I'm saying is if I happen to drink a liter of celery juice and be driving by his house, I, you know, I might take a crap on his lawn.
You know, if in that scenario, in that scenario where I have to, I can't hold it anymore.
You know, if I conveniently drive by his place and diarrhea all over.
Right.
Whatever.
I just feel like, you know, the industry is so small that one day, like, things will get
around and I might see him again.
And I, too, will drink celery.
And I'm not that nice, you know.
I might just shit everywhere around him, on him.
Like a circle
yeah
like you're doing
some kind of seance
like you can't leave
the circle of your
dookie
we've talked about poop
a lot on this episode
it's been that
it's been that
that's my brand
that is Olivia's brand
welcome to poop talk
welcome to poop cast
I do
do you ever like
he's like a great scenario
of do you ever just like
think about how
you're gonna approach
this person
if you see them in public I always like make up these scenarios in my head of like, I'm going to
do this and say this. Oh man. Have you ever, I mean, all of us do this when you get in an argument
with a person in your head, like I'll be in the shower and I'll be thinking about someone who
like said something small to me, something insignificant, but I will like in my head imagine, okay,
if they say something else to me, this is what I'm going to say.
And then I bet, I bet they're going to say that.
And then, oh boy, I'm going to say this.
And then, oh, they're going to say that.
And then I'm going to say that.
And you just go through it and you realize I'll be like, I am so mad.
It's eight in the morning.
Nothing bad has happened.
And I'm pissed.
And then I'll see
that person that day
and they're like
hey how's it going
and I'm like
hey how's it going
literally this is
yeah
I completely wimp out
I go through those scenarios
I'm like yeah yeah
and then I'm just
a completely nice person
to them
actually I don't wimp out
you don't wimp out
I don't
and I think you've
witnessed this
oh yeah you don't
it's why I will
always avoid pissing you off.
No, but the thing is
I let it go really quickly too. Yes, that's the
thing. You'll get mad
and it's scary, but then you're
making sure to find a
reasonable end to it. I hate
being unreasonably mad for
no reason. And when I'm actually
really mad, I talk like a robot.
It's so weird.
I've seen it a little bit.
Yeah, it's really weird.
I don't know why I get into this like mode
where I'm like,
I'm really upset because of this and this and this.
And then I'm like,
I literally don't talk like that.
But I feel like that's just how I'm like,
that's how I stay calm.
Have you and I ever,
I don't feel like you and I have ever really gotten into that.
I avoid,
I feel like I'm pretty good at avoiding fights with people. Yeah, I don't think you've ever gotten into any arguments with any of the cast. I don't feel like you and I have ever really gotten into that. I avoid, I feel like I'm pretty good at avoiding fights with people.
Yeah, I don't think you've ever gotten into any arguments with any of the cast.
I don't think so either.
I think Courtney and I have had a couple moments where we're like a little mad at each other,
but it's never a fight.
It's just whatever.
But I don't think so, yeah.
And Noah and I, I think, and I've known Noah for like 10 years.
I think there was one time where he and I kind of got upset at each other,
but then within two minutes,
I was like, hey, I'm sorry, man.
It's like whenever I am about to argue with Noah,
like within two seconds,
I'm like, I'm going to be exhausted after this.
I'm like, I'm not going to argue with him.
It's not worth the effort.
It's really not.
Yeah, Noah can,
Noah's very good at arguing.
Yes.
You know, he would be a good politician.
He could just filibuster for like forever.
He could for sure.
For sure. He would agree with that.
He just talks and talks and talks and you're just like
I'm confused. Do you remember that
phase where Noah just ranted
all the time? Noah went into a
conspiracy theorist phase. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. That was the phase.
He got very into conspiracy theories
and he was always
talking about them. I think he
picked up on it because
after a while,
like we'd be at lunch and it'd be like, oh man, Noah's talking.
And then people would start to like find an opening
to just leave the room.
Oh yeah.
And then it would just be me sitting there with him going like,
yeah, I mean like, I don't think it really works that way.
Like I don't think the public sewage system works in that sort of way.
But all right.
Yeah, sure.
Okay.
Yeah.
I mean, that's not how college tuition works.
But all right.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Yep.
I don't think that's how taxes work.
I just love that, like, all of his rants will always, it'll go on for two hours.
And then it'll always end with just like, yeah.
And like, it's like that.
And like, I don't know.
I don't know, man.
It's just, it's just whack.
Yeah.
It's just whack.
It's like, all right.
No, it always ends with, it's just whack, man.
It's literally the end of every single rant.
But I think it's so funny how we like witness each other, like go through phases and like we are are growing together and it's really cool.
You guys saw my, I went through my,
I don't give a crap about what I wear for two years,
and then my glow up.
Because I used to wear shorts, tank tops,
and flip flops to work.
And a beanie.
That would be my outfit I wore every single day.
And nothing matched.
It was like, I'm gonna wear a teal shirt
and an orange beanie.
I'm gonna come in here
with my khaki shorts
above my knees.
Yeah.
I would say Ian's glow up
was huge too.
Like both of you guys
and me,
like I always like notice
what you guys wear
and I was like,
wow,
like single Shane,
single Ian.
Like,
I'm like,
damn,
they are fine.
Oh, thank you. Yeah, I started rolling up my jeans, damn, they are fine. Thanks.
Thank you.
I don't know what to do.
Yeah, I started rolling up my jeans.
Yeah.
Bought some desert boots.
I did have a beard, but then I had to shave it off for a video.
Do you remember that one time Shane had to do a table read with us,
and he just walked in with aviators and just never took them off?
I know.
Inside, you know, the lights were bright in that conference room.
He, like, had these sunglasses on for an hour.
And I defended you.
Yeah, you did.
Because people were like, wow.
You know, I'm like, no, I'm like, you know, he's living his life.
He's 25.
He's at his peak.
Like, let him do whatever he wants.
I was like, that was like three weeks into being single.
And I was like, I got to let people know.
Yeah.
I got to let people know I'm on the market.
Or were you just hiding all the tears?
No.
Well, maybe.
But no.
No. When Shane told me hiding all the tears? No. Well, maybe. But no.
No. When Shane told me about his breakup, I cried.
Yeah, you and Keith are the first people I told.
It was during an entire shoot week.
And it was, so we were filming videos every single day.
Then on Wednesday, in the middle, like on a break,
I just was like, oh yeah, by the way,
my girlfriend and I broke up.
And I was like, don't tell anybody.
I got to keep it together.
And we shot a whole bunch of stuff.
I think that was also the first,
that might have also been the first shoot without Anthony as well.
It was.
Literally, I said goodbye.
I remember saying goodbye to Anthony.
But we had to keep it a secret.
Yeah, we couldn't talk about that publicly.
But also, as I was saying goodbye to him,
I was sitting there in my head just being like, this is so goodbye to him I was sitting there just in my head
just being like I'm
this is so much to deal with in one week
two breakups in one week it was tough
it was really tough
you guys have been with me through my breakups too
we've all been with each other
so many of us went through breakups
and I remember like mine was hilarious
I'm like
I wasn't there
I wasn't there for that because it was in the middle of a table read and you just got up and you're like, I got to go.
Oh my God.
That was the saddest thing ever.
That was so funny too.
I was like, I'm such an idiot.
I can't believe I'm just crying in front of everyone.
I won't say his name.
I'll change his name.
But you were reading a script, right?
And it said that your character was supposed to cry.
Yeah.
And so you started to cry and you're like,
and we're like, Olivia, are you okay?
And you're like, it's just, me and Bob broke up.
And then you like literally like shouted it
and then you ran out of the room and we were all like.
Dude, I'm dramatic as fuck.
Like, and I didn't know any, I didn't know this was coming.
Like, I didn't know any of this
and you said that and you ran out
and all of us were frozen.
We were like,
what just happened?
I don't think that was written in the script.
Meanwhile, when I
heard about it, I was like, good.
I would have set up my friend with her.
According to plan.
It's probably crappy of me but there's probably times where you were talking about what her. According to plan. I had probably, it was probably crappy of me,
but there's probably times where you were talking about
what you guys were going through,
and I was like, oh, you should break up.
No, I, yeah, but I also was like,
I never wanted it to tell,
I'm also the type of person where I don't like
to air out my dirty laundry,
unless it's for sure,
because I don't want to seem like my,
I like to seem like I'm reasonable and i have my shit together it's funny mentioning the like maybe saying like you guys
should break up because i feel like friends always want to either have the person break up with their
significant other or find the person a new significant other like it's it's always like
that weird thing where it's like oh yeah you guys like you deserve better and then and then once they're broken up they're like you need
somebody you need here here this person take them like it's funny we're never we're just never happy
with our friends just being in a relationship it's definitely a thing like going forward though i i
all my friends were so nice and everything but i I had one friend who, like a year before the breakup, kind of said like, oh, you know, I don't know if you guys are good together.
I don't know if I like just, you know, no offense, but whatever.
And that actually was huge because it kind of gave me that, you know, confidence, that affirmation to go, okay, this is right.
This is what I should do.
And I've told all my friends since,
I'm like, hey, the next time I'm in a relationship,
if it's your opinion as my friend that it's not good, whatever,
just please tell me.
I know I don't have to listen to it, whatever,
but please give me those opinions
because I value those.
And it's very easy to get, what's the term?
You're not thinking straight
when you're in a relationship
sometimes and if you're not a great thing
it's easy to go oh no this is fine
this is normal when maybe it's not at all
and your friends are all going oh that's not good
and I wish I did that
I don't blame anybody
I think it's very nice but
as a friend like especially if you're
talking about like emotionally abusive relationships
or physically abusive relationships as a friend you know it you're talking about emotionally abusive relationships or physically abusive relationships,
as a friend, it's important to suggest it,
but with abusive relationships,
oftentimes it's hard to pull them across.
And you have to let them see the light sometimes,
but still be there for them in the event that it happens.
Wow, what a dark subject to end on.
We're coming up on our time.
Any final thoughts?
What did we learn today?
Celery juice makes you shit.
I think the celery juice makes you shit is the main thing.
Once again, I'm just very excited about all this.
Me too.
This is very cool.
This is awesome.
Being in this space, it just feels so natural.
It just feels like home.
It feels like we just belong here, and it's not weird at all.
No.
Yeah.
It's a much cooler space.
It's a much better vibe.
Already, I'm having so much more fun.
I mean, I've always loved the job, but this is even, it's somehow so much more fun.
Yeah, it just seems like we don't have, like, limitations.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, it just, I feel more comfortable.
Yeah, I'm like Bradley Cooper in that one movie.
Good.
Limitless.
I'm glad, I'm really glad it's all working out.
So that does it for this episode.
I believe we did get our shit together
and the podcast is on all of the podcasty things.
So feel free to listen to it, subscribe to it.
It comes out on audio form on all the podcast things.
I believe it'll be on Wednesdays.
And then the video will be coming out on Fridays.
Ooh, the best day.
For now.
So if you want to hear it first, you got to hear it on the audio.
Can't see our pretty faces.
Sorry.
My face is really hot.
Is it red?
No.
Okay, great.
Thank you guys so much.
And we'll see you next week.
See you later.
See you.
Goodbye.
Goodbye now.
Bye. Bye you later. See you. Goodbye. Goodbye now. Bye.
Gross.