Smosh Mouth - S1: #30 - Ian (Finally) Goes To Therapy

Episode Date: September 11, 2019

On today’s episode, Ian, Shayne, and Courtney discuss Shayne’s final college classes, why Courtney enjoyed writing fan fiction as a kid, and Ian opens up about finally going to therapy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. Ramble. I went

to therapy. My hands suck, though. My handwriting is horrible. People will see it and they'll be like, are you okay? What color would you dye your hair? So I did a little bit of pink for summer games, and I thought it was so crazy, but literally nobody noticed. I have jars of it left, and sometimes I'm like,

if I'm bored one night, I'm just going to dip my head in there. I used to play tennis. I have medals. Do you scream when you hit the ball? Oh! Ah! Oh! Oh! Oh!

No! Just say no. Yeah! Black tea can have between 40 and 120 milligrams of caffeine, which I don't believe. And when you drink it, you have to sound like this when you drink black tea. Really? You have to. It's a legal requirement.

No. It's all over the place. If I drink black tea, I have to sound like this. Have you heard what Boris Johnson said this week? Sip tea. Asterisk sip tea. Welcome everybody to the 30th

episode of the Smosh Cast. 30, flirty, and thriving. Dirty 30 for the Smosh Cast. It's ready to have one last party before it settles down. Farty 30. Is that another one that they call it? No, that's farty 40. Oh, farty 40.

Is that a thing? Yeah. Do people celebrate farty 40? Farty 40. And then it's shitty 50. Shitty 50. Shifty 50. Oh, okay. Se Farty 40. And then it's shitty 50. Shitty 50. Shifty 50. Oh, okay.

Sexy 60. Yeah. And then dead 70. Oh, my God. Welcome to episode 30 of the Smoshcast. It's been a while since it's just been us three just, like, hanging out, just, like, talking about life stuff. Yeah, dude. I feel like we haven't been able to sit down, just the three of us, since before Smosh Summer Games.

Yeah. And so much has happened in our lives since that moment. I've been waiting for a podcast to mention this, but I went to therapy. That's a boy. That's a boy. Yeah. Wow. That's a self-improvement boy.

That's my boy. Yeah. Dude. That's really great, man. Congratulations. Thank you. How does it feel? Feels fine.

How many sessions have you had? I've been going for about a month now. That's great. Yeah, which is like, it was aggravating because I went probably shortly after Smosh Summer Games, and I'm like, I can't talk about it on the podcast for so long. Thanks for that. Oh, yeah. I perped away from the microphone.

We all heard the burp. Sorry. There's no way to hide it I burped away from the microphone. We all heard the burp. Sorry. There's no way to hide it. I was away from the microphone. But, dude, sorry to steal your thunder with my literal tummy thunder. But so proud of you. Yeah, that sucks. We literally couldn't update Smosh peeps, Smosh fam.

I know. Listeners. That girl's just been hitting the wall forever. Actually, I think she gave up. So there was a girl on Twitter that was hitting the wall every day that I didn't go to therapy. And I felt really bad because I didn't want to reveal that I was going to therapy until I got a chance to say so on the podcast because I felt like that was the appropriate venue for it. So I think she gave up. She might have.

Okay. Yeah. I might have like because the DMs can be crazy sometimes I can't remember If it was an Instagram request Or something But I remember seeing Someone be like Hey it's me

I'm hitting the whoa But like I don't know if I can Keep doing this Like Yeah It takes a toll on the body It really does

Woeing too hard Yeah They've shown that it can It can really Impact your bones You can say woes Cause a lot of woes Wow Whoa Wow I'm surprised you didn't say that Shoot dude Shame can really impact your bones. You can say woes cause a lot of woes. Wow.

Whoa. Wow. I'm surprised you didn't say that. Shoot, dude. Shame. Owned. Shoot, dude. Hey, don't shoot, dude.

Me with a woe joke? Come on. Shoot, dude. I think it's good that you went for a few sessions before talking about it publicly, though. That's true. It could have not worked out. You like the person so far? Yeah. Yeah, she's cool. People have asked though. That's true. Because it could have not worked out. You like the person so far?

Yeah. Yeah, she's cool. People have asked me how it's going. I'm like, I don't really have any frame of reference because I've never had a therapist before. Well, nobody's therapy is going to be the same as anyone else's. Yeah. It's going to be completely individual.

And it is weird. The first sessions are always really weird because you're kind of like, uh, what do I talk about? That's so funny. Cause like my first session I was like, okay, so here's all my worst fears.

Here's what I want to figure out. Also, am I crazy? Fourth, like I literally was like, here it is. And luckily she was down, but I think it's different for other people too,

where it's like, you don't, you don't even know where you want to start. Yeah. I feel like usually, I feel like for most people, the thing they will need to talk about is something that they don't think they need to talk about generally. It's my opinion. I mean, it's different for everybody, but it's often the things that you don't think are a problem

that end up becoming. You're like, oh, I didn't realize that was a thing. Yeah. I didn't realize that was deep down there or like that somehow everything that's you're worried about or going wrong in your life is like connected like that stuff freaks me out or like i'll go into a therapy session be like okay i need to talk about this this and this and i'll go in touch on those a little bit and then all of a sudden something i didn't realize like it's all about them asking the right questions and like leading you to the right place sometimes and like we'll go in for like the almost the entire session talking about something I didn't even know I was thinking about because I feel like so much

so much of therapy is like related to to whatever like happened in your childhood and and I feel like for me like I don't have the best memory. So it's like, oh, what about this? And I'm like, I don't even. I can't even give you an honest answer, lady, because I don't remember. Do you take time to brain blast at least? Do a little brain blasting? Give your brain a second. You take a super soaker, you aim it at your ear,

and you shoot it straight through your brain. Yeah. I have the same thing. I can't remember a lot of my childhood. I just don't think about my childhood a lot. And then I'll suddenly think about it like, oh, my God, that story or whatever. I think it's just – I think our lives move a million miles per minute, so we don't sit back and think about past stuff.

It's why journaling is really important so that you can keep track of stuff and you keep track of your day and you can look back on that. Dang it, I forgot to write my journal last night. Yeah. Giving us more material. No. Dude. No.

But journals are great though. Any new Johnny stories you're writing down? Yeah. I mean, I still, we're friends on Facebook still. Wow. Johnny Tsunami. Can't believe. Can you believe?

The one that got away. He rode that wave out of my life and my heart. But I'm proud of you, my guy. You said you wanted to do it, and you did it. Just doing that with anything is great. It's really, really great. And also, look, maybe we have a sketch coming out soon about ian and damien going to therapy yeah i i feel like i don't know if you guys wrote that before

i went i think we i think i wrote it before you went and then you went and then we filmed it yeah i think but yeah it's it takes a lot of turns it's a good one oh it certainly does yeah i'm excited to see how that video turns out it's not it's not edited yet but we shot it like last week

was it? yeah it was intense and you know many travelers have entered that sketch and not many have returned so

you know just I don't know just giving you a little taste of what's to come is it just you did you mainly like it was just you? Did you mainly, like, it was just you

or was it you and Damien? I think I, I think it was like me and Finity and Monica. Yeah. Well, it's always going to be you. Right,

right, right. But yeah, I mean, it was, I don't think Ian and, no, I think I surprised you guys

with that one. I stayed, I stayed far away from that sketch. I was like, I have no idea what you're going to write, but I'm sure it'll be.

It came from here. So basically you guys talked about it so much and I just lived in my head with, I wanted a sketch with you and Damien going to therapy. And I wanted a sketch with secret character involved. So I walked in one day and I was like, I think this could become this. And I was like, Shane, I wanted this

to happen. Go to town. And he went to town. And it was perfect. And then he and I just kind of finished it, which was was great but it was directly from the podcast meets secret character yeah podcast is bringing a lot of those to life pretty insane it was fun it was fun yeah yeah i wrote my first script sketch in a while it's not an ebe that was that's we haven't shot it yet so i don't know if we should talk about it but it's it feels good when you can, like, actually, because I had a serious blockage for a while. Ew.

My brain. Gross. My left side of my brain was constipated. God, this is, ugh. What? I'm drinking coffee to make it better. Sorry. A brain diuretic.

And I think also, like, writing is so cathartic. Like, I feel like a lot of the, a lot of the angers that I have about, you know, the internet and whatever, it's fun to get out on paper. It's your creative outlet, my guy. Yeah. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a writer. But it's like it was one of those things that's like, ooh, I also wanted to be a rock star. So both of those are just going to go under the pillow and not going to be actually pursued. But like I wanted to write like books and stories like fantasy and stuff like that.

But now we're writing sketch comedy still. Yeah. A lot of people don't even take that first step of writing because they'll write like one page and then be like, oh, but it's not perfect. It's like it's not about being perfect. You're not going to, I mean, I'm sure, I'm sure, you know, JK Rowling wrote some serious turds before she wrote Harry Potter. Like, you know, you gotta, you gotta just, you gotta just put it down on paper and like,

and you just get better with time. It's a craft like anything else. Yeah. Yeah. It's one of those weird skills that that people expect to kind of just be good at right off the bat

and it's kind of like you just can't pick up a basketball and be a star player yeah exactly but for some reason and I mean I'm guilty of it too

I'm such a perfectionist with writing like I'll write something I'm like well that's the worst thing I've ever seen so I should never do this again

yeah but you gotta push through it. You got to be okay with writing pieces of crap. You got to write a bunch of pieces of crap. Yeah. Go, go. No,

no, no. I was just saying that. And that's why like I, you know, people for even writing things like weird fan fiction about us. It's like, it's,

it's a creative, it's a creative outlet and you only get better with time. And, you know, if you'd never take that first step on a creative pursuit, then you're always going to stay at, at level one. I'm pretty sure the longest piece of fiction ever written is a super smash bros fan fiction. I'm pretty sure I read that, too long ago. Technically, it's the longest word count of anything, of that we know. And the guy writing it was like, you know, I was learning English. Like, English is a second language. He's like, it's helping me improve with that, and it's fun, and he just keeps going.

Is it romantic? I don't know. I just know it's a super smash brothers fan fiction i'm pretty sure it's super smash brothers which is a very interesting choice there's not a fan fiction i've read read where i'm like oh this is a waste of time like it's all great you're improving your vocabulary and uh creativity and whatever for me it was a lot of like escapism when i was younger like writing like a very bored or unhappy with where I was in freshman year of high school or whatever and just writing where I wish I was or, like,

what I wish would have happened to me or, like, a different world. And it was just, like, cool to put it all on paper and then I could go back and read it again and, like, be there again. Yeah. You've been trying to write, like, a pilot for, like, ever. And I can't. It's about pushing through that perfectionism. It's brutal.

Like because I will put in a ton of work and then scrap it all. I've done that many times. You shouldn't scrap them. You should keep them in a box. Like I do with my diaries. And then we can dramatic read them. Yeah, maybe. Maybe. I don read them. Yeah, maybe. Maybe.

I don't know. Yeah. But, I mean, Shane, you're also like, you got so much other crap you're doing right now. Yeah. Like, you're back on the Goldbergs. They brought, like, we can talk about that, right? Yeah, I'm back on the Goldbergs.

They brought the JTP crew back. It's back, yeah. I've filmed a couple episodes, got a few more that I know I'll be filming soon. It's a lot of fun. It's just a lot of work. Like yesterday I filmed for about 12, 13 hours. Whoa. Yeah. But it was only the one day. And I always have fun. It's relatively easy because there I'm just an actor. So I'll film a scene, we get like two hours where we're just in our trailers and then film another scene

another hour so in the trailer so it's not that tough but yeah it's just like another focus and then I am a month out

from graduating college so yeah boy that so we're gonna celebrate I think I think once I'm done with once I'm done with school

then I will be able to like focus because I think it's tough for me to work on stuff after work. Uh, because I know I have these due dates every week. Like I know I have, I have a quiz and, uh, one more thing I got to do by tonight. So I'm like, okay, I just,

I have to get that done. And then once I get that done, then I don't want to be like, okay, now to sit down and write something. Now I'm like, I want to play Super Smash Brothers. Yeah. And write more fan fiction. That's where my head's at. Yeah, exactly. Are you the guy? Lucario turned to Mario and said, this love is forbidden.

I will say, I feel like I've said this to you a couple times, but it's like you are living the equivalent of three lives in L.A. Like you are a person who is in a full-time office job here. You're also someone who's pursuing school and trying to get their bachelor's. Also, someone who's pursuing acting just in L.A. and has a TV show gig. Like, I don't understand how you're able to juggle all those things. I think the unfortunate result sometimes is that I end up half-assing all three. Like, instead of being able to full-ass one of them, you know?

And you're not leaving any time to slang dong. He slangs dong half-ass. Yeah. I slang half an ass. Yeah. I don't even know what that means. Just one cheek. Yeah.

Oh, God. I know exactly what that means it's definitely yeah it can be a lot like I'm just tired every week but it's I'm almost done like I'm just pushing through I was actually it was earlier this year where I debated I had four classes left I debated on just being like should I just stop and just forget college and just leave it there and then I my parents were like you should just finish it and I'm like, should I just stop and just forget college and just leave it there? And then my parents were like, you should just finish it. And I'm like, yeah. And I've spent so, dude, it's so much money. It is thousands of dollars per class. It's absurd.

Per class? Per class. Yeah. That is college. It is roughly like, look, I'm down to throw out the numbers because it's nuts what people are paying, but it's roughly like $3,000 per class. Oh, my God. And that is not, that's not, there are so many more expensive colleges. How many classes do you think you take? It's four classes, it's four classes per semester. For so, and, you know, I don't know, I can't do the math right here.

Bro. But that's why people are in, their student debt lasts their whole life oh yeah uh i mean people i know i have friends who you know only took like a year or so at a school and then are still paying off student debt it lasts forever shoot dude i know i know i think it's too much and then textbooks are like 300 bucks oh yeah and i have all these textbooks now that i'm like well i can't sell them and you're not even paying like room and board there like exactly no i mean you have an apartment they had to pay for right but but it still it still sucks and i think it reached a point where i'm like i've already dropped i've already dropped so much money i might as well finish this out or

else it was a waste so but it's it's fun i'm loving it i like i love learning stuff so it's what's the coolest thing you you what's what are you learning right now what's it's fun i'm loving it i like i love learning stuff so it's what's the coolest thing you you what's what are you learning right now what's what's the thing paleontolic so my so because i because my last class got to be an elective of my choice i chose uh buried cities and lost tribes it's an anthrop a basic anthropology class uh i had to write a discussion post last night about why I believe lithics were the greatest invention of early humans

what's a lithic? why don't you guys guess what lithics are ice cream cones so these are we're talking in the period of 2 million years ago to about 100,000 years ago 2 million? 2 million years ago to 100 100,000 years ago. 2 million?

2 million years ago to 100,000 years ago. Like, in that period, what were the best inventions? They probably only had, like, vanilla or chocolate ice cream. I wonder if they had ice cream cones back then. Do you think they did? Yeah. Do you think they were able to make that? Do you think they had fire back then?

Do you think fire existed? I don't think fire was around back then. Yeah, fire didn't happen. Did they have fire? They probably had, like, the iPhone 3 at back then. Yeah, fire didn't happen. Yeah, they have fire? They probably had the iPhone 3 at that point. Yeah, iPhone 3. Film quality was garbage. A lithic.

Vine was still around. So you're saying the lithic was the... Lithics. Lithics. Yeah, but like lithic... You're talking about like cave paintings or carvings? Lithics are like pencils. Are those your final answers?

Writing devices is my final answer. Okay. So unless I get an F on this discussion post, lithics are essentially like stone flakes and like hand axes

and stuff. So it's just, it's essentially the intro to the stone age of like using stone tools. So the first tools. So it was the first time they would use bones

and stuff to chip off flakes off stones to be able to use those flakes for, for, you know, skinning and spears and hand axes to chop more stuff. And I was saying that, and I mean, it's acknowledged that that's,

it's the beginning of technology. We hand, you can, you can trace that to computers now, like our beginning of harnessing materials on an advanced level. It's pretty cool. It's, it's really,

it's an honest, honestly, awesome class. And it's, what's really weird also is how many versions of humans, not humans. Cause we evolved from one, but like you had Neanderthals,

which were a completely different thing. Like there was a period of time where there were competing versions We evolved from one, but you had Neanderthals, which were a completely different thing. There was a period of time where there were competing versions of what we are now. It's fascinating because I think we have this idea of like, yes, we're this one species that just came, but no, there were many versions. So it's fascinating. And we evolved from one of them. That's crazy. That's why I feel like I missed out on colleges because that stuff, it's fascinating and we evolved from one of them that's crazy yeah that's why I feel like I missed out on colleges

because like that stuff it's so cool college is really awesome because there's some really cool classes like you know you go from just basics to I mean

studying psychology was awesome like my last class was forensic psychology which was all about employing psychologists in court you know

and we're talking like Jeffrey Dahmer's case and all these other horrible but fascinating cases and deciding whether those people were insane or not, or whether they're fit to stand trial or not. And it's insane. Literally, literally insane. Who is, do you think Jeffrey Dahmer was insane? There is some fascinating arguments that he wasn't or that he was because it all comes down to if they suffer from a disease of mind and whether they're, you know, they have, they're demonstrating mens rea, which is like understanding what they did at the time. So insanity is more about at the time they committed their crime. Were they insane or not?

Were they in their right mind? And I think a lot of people decided that he was, but there were arguments on both sides. So like if he were to smear himself in his own feces before he murdered someone, that would be insane. Because why would he do that? Not necessarily an activity, because if he's smothering himself in feces, but he knows the date and time, he knows exactly what he's doing. He knows the exact consequences of what he's doing. Is he insane? Just because an act we deem is, I mean, murdering someone is also, you would say is insane. But if someone knows, I know that I'm killing this person and I know I'm going to go to jail for it. And I know that I'm causing harm to this person. That's not an insane person. They know fully, they're fully conscious of what they're doing.

That's what psychologists get in debates about. And obviously it's a debate. There's no surefire answer. But if they were like, oh, like the sky people told me. Right. So there was, there was an unfortunate case of a woman. This is a well-known case. I don't know.

I forget her name. She drowned all of her children. Oh yeah. case i don't know i forget her name she uh drowned all of her children oh yeah and but she they decided they deemed her insane because she fully believed that if she didn't do it her children were going to go to hell she believed she was being told to do this to save them and they they did evaluate her and decide like she really truly believed this was this andrea yates yes yes and so and they were like she wasn't she wasn't doing this and making an excuse she really believed she was doing something good it's the morals and things behind what yeah it's the intentions now

given she's still put in a hospital for the rest of her life you know like you're not you're not set free well she didn't mean it right right there's you. You know, like you're not, you're not set free. Well, she didn't mean it. Right. Right. There's, you know, and often cases, if you're deemed insane, it's people are often mad about that because they go, no, he should be punished, whatever. I think generally when they're deemed insane, they spend more time, like they're less likely to ever be, you know, out on the streets ever again.

So, yeah, it's a So it's a fascinating class. It's a rough subject because there's not really like, no one's going to be happy with whatever answer happens, you know. So anyways, so that's college. Smart boy. Yeah. That's cool though. I mean, yeah, because we're talking outside of here about pyramid schemes.

Those are pretty insane. Some people say, like, college is a pyramid scheme or whatever. But, I mean, I think it's silly. There's some guy that's like, there's no point in going to college. I'm like, what are you talking about? I agree. I think the price, it sucks. To put a price tag on knowledge I think is unfair.

I think knowledge should be something that everyone has complete access to, to be aware of the world that you're living in. Yeah, should be a right. But it's a lot of work. So I understand there has to be a price. But I think the amount is so nuts. Yeah, yeah, for sure. It's like, I mean, like our, our parents were able to work a part time job, not everybody. But like, yeah, a lot of our parents were able to work a part time job job, not everybody, but like, yeah, a lot of our parents were able to work a part-time job and pay off their college while they were going. My grandpa literally like paid for college while he was, yeah, that's what he did. And I think that should be the case. I think you should be able to pay it off more reasonably. And I think we have a lot, there's a lot of consequences from it not being available because there's that video on

Twitter. I don't know if you saw the hurricane was coming in there and interviewing that guy in Florida. And he's like, this is insane. Why don't we have the Air Force or something fly their jets in a circle opposite of the hurricane to cancel it out? And he truly believed this. And I'm like, this is what we like. Because that guy fully believed it. You can't fault him for really thinking that's an answer. Hold on.

Hear me out, though. Big fans. Big fans. And they also, there was also a point of like, they had to remind people not to shoot their guns at a hurricane because bullets will come back. The hurricane will. And there was a tweet that was like, I'm sorry, I'm laughing at the thought of confused Floridians thinking that the hurricane is shooting back. But I'm like, I'm like, this is the like global warming is to me a result of us not

understanding peer reviewed journals, not understanding research, not understanding the importance of the scientific method because people don't have a lot of people just simply don't have access to that knowledge. So of course they're going about things and believing things a certain way. Well, I think it's also a lack of trust of the government as well. Right. Well, lack of trust of science. Yeah. And science, but that, that in turn goes along with the kind of people that don't believe in science also don't trust anything else. And they would prefer to trust a random scary thing on Facebook. So I wouldn't say climate change is a result of people not knowing that,

but it's certainly not being helped by the people that aren't listening to scientists. For sure. For sure. And it's a big old frickin' bummer. A lot of kids in my family, and I say a lot of kids in my family, I feel like that's so weird that I say that because there's literally so many siblings in my family that it's like, yeah, in that community. Like, a lot of us were like,

oh, like, I'm not even going to bother trying to go to college because we couldn't afford it anyway. That's a lot of people, man. Yeah. And it's a lot. It puts you in a bind. But I feel like community college is a thing.

So for those people listening or watching, don't just give up on college. Yeah, dude. You know, there's community college and there's other ways of doing it. So don't let money stop you, you know. That's what I did. I did community college. Same.

It's great. It really is. And associates agree. I jumped out, but. Yeah, I did too. Yeah, but it was a great option. Like I was fully given the same education that like I probably would have gotten. For sure.

Yeah. And I mean, like it doesn't really matter where you went to college first. It just matters where you got your diploma. So you can go first two years at some community college and then do the last two years at Stanford. And then, wow, look at that. You saved like 80 grand. You got the same education. Yeah.

And also learning anything is just great. And honestly, on community college level, an associate's degree is super valuable. Like, it's very, very valuable. Also, like, learning is just actually fun when you get to college. Like, I hated public school. I did not have fun learning there. And then once I went to college and actually I got to, like, choose the things I wanted to learn. Right.

I was like, oh, actually, like like I'm enjoying the things I'm learning. Aside from like the, you know, required math classes and stuff. Right. Yeah. But no, I was pretty stoked about learning things. Yeah. It's weird. It's super fun.

It's really great. Learning is fun. Yeah, that's why I love Mavis Beacon. What? Mavis Beacon. I talk about it a lot on social media. Yo. Mavis Beacon. What? Mavis Beacon. I talk about it a lot on social media. Yo. Mavis Beacon, guys.

You should take Mavis Beacon. What's Mavis Beacon? How have I never? The fun typing learning. You should download it on your computer. What? Yes. It's like a computer game, but you learn typing.

Yo, if Mavis Beacon comes in here, homegirl could like get it. Get it. She hot. Mavis, holler at me, BB. What's so funny about Mavis Beacon is, so every new rendition of the Mavis Beacon teaches typing, Mavis Beacon teaches typing, they use the same model. I think it's her. I think that's Mavis Beekin teaches typing. They use the same model. I think it's her.

I think that's Mavis. Like she created this idea. I think she was just like a stock photo model. We've talked about this. I don't know what this is. It's like it teaches you typing. Well, first, okay. So when I was in elementary school, we had a computer lab session once a week.

And it was awesome. We first learned, we had to go through UltraKey, which was like the not fun, but basic fundamentals of learning faster typing. And then once you got good enough at UltraKey, then you got to do Mavis Beacon that had games where it's like, oh, you got to type in these words fast enough, or you're going to get eaten by this shark in the middle of the ocean. Oh, cool. Or like basically asteroids, but it's typing. That's awesome. It was really fun. and I got so fast at typing. You are a fast typer. Thanks.

Sometimes I see you and you're doing the thumb and pointer finger thing, man. I'm a garbage typer. My hands suck though. Like my handwriting is horrible. People will see it and they'll be like, are you okay? All right. I found this Vice article. It says, what's Maeveis Beacon up to these days?

Nothing. She's fake. Really? She was just a model. Oh, no. Her name is, I had it. Renee, I'm going to fuck this up. Marvis Bacon.

Renee. Marvis Bacon. Marvis Bacon. Can we create that character? It's Renee La Esperance She's a Does she have an Instagram? Yeah Haitian born model

Can we do a Smosh Games video Where me and Shane play Mavis Beacon? Honestly that's actually a really I've been wanting to do a Mavis Beacon video I'm down for a Nice I'm down for a Mavis Beacon competition Who's the fastest typer?

Oh, I would lose. Let's do it. Yeah, Courtney's going to destroy, but honestly, I don't know. Mari could be a super fast typer. We don't know. Yeah. She's constantly just emailing it up. But you know what we got to do?

We got to do two. We got to do two competitions. One is computer, and one is texting. Oh, are you a fast te Oh, I'm going to fail. I'm going to fail both of those. I'm garbage at both. I'm bad at typing stuff, man. That's why when I'm in the office, I will get out of my office.

I will walk over to people and say stuff to them. They'll be like, why didn't you slack that to me? And I'll be like, because I'm better at talking than I am at typing stuff. Did you just say'm better at talking than I am at typing stuff. Did you just say, I better at talking? I better at talking than speech writing. It's crazy, though, because I would not know your handwriting because we never do that around here. No, nobody does. That's crazy.

It's almost like a secret. It's not the 1800s. I'm very proud of my writing. We're not using the Pony Express anymore. Here, I'm going to write this letter. Do you mind getting on your horse and bringing it on over to Damien in the other room? Courtney? You know, I think the Pony Express is a better invention than lithographs.

Hey, all of that was wrong. I want to learn shorthand. That's what I should do. Shorthand, get some long fingernails. Go work for a madman? Yeah, exactly. Internet detention was fun. Yeah, it was.

The latest Internet detention, episode three. Everyone had a great role on there. One funny thing about Brianna Boho's character is... Brianna, bro. Sorry, Brianna. All of us say Brianna. It's fucking Brianna. You are really defensive about it. Yeah, she gets really heated about this. Well, it makes sense. You guys are like, oh, everybody loves Brianna. And I'm like, what the fuck? You don't even know who she is.

Everybody loves Banana Boho. So, the strange thing about Brianna boho is it's sort of like this really like over the top version of Tana Mongeau. She's so different now though. Except for Tana sometimes tops her. Except recently I went to Tana's Twitter and she made a post that was so Brianna Boho. It was more Brianna Boho than anything, and we're probably going to have to censor this, but I have a tweet right here.

She says, I'm serious. Nothing makes my tight little pussy get wetter than a Delta One seat on a plane. That is literally a line. That's a line we would write for Brianna and then be like we can't say that that's a little too far

you just gotta respect like she just goes for it like she really doesn't hold back how many likes does it have? 500 50k 30,000 wow

that's alright not bad not bad but I'm just like I just I guess just it's weird for me because I know that she has a lot of kids that watch her stuff. I'm like, oh. Yeah, it's a lot of young people. Yeah, dude.

But also I'm sure the kids have seen way worse on the internet. Maybe. So it doesn't really matter. I mean, I can't even say it. I can't even say that tweet. I feel weird. I can barely say it. See, nothing makes my ass

sweatier than a Southwest seat. Nothing makes my ball sack hairier than a Delta One seat. Hairier? Ew! God. If you give me the wig and the nails and the high heel

boots, I might be able to say that. You literally change. It's weird. You put on that wig and all of a sudden high heel boots, I might be able to say that. You literally change. It's weird. You put on that wig and all of a sudden your facial expression, everything changes. Really? On and off camera. It's so nuts. You commit so hard to it.

I will say when I'm missing certain pieces of her wardrobe or like her look, I don't feel right. I don't feel the same and the performance I don't feel is very good. You're missing the pieces of power. Like even the most recent episode of Internet Detention, I didn't have on thigh-high boots and it bothered me. Or if I'm like, what's missing? Like, what's wrong? I'm like, I need gum.

Like there's things that like I need. And like when I have all those things, that's when I'm like literally harassing you guys off camera and stuff because she is here. I think she's just this ghost that has realized that i'm a vehicle that she can use when she feels extra hoey olivia olivia brought it too i love i love that she somehow managed to like do like full botox face yeah for that whole thing like her face is just like yeah the smizing or what is that what is that called when the girls

do that that's like an instagram thing when, when girls just barely pull on their head. Oh, really? Oh, I didn't realize it's a life hack. And it just makes you look hotter, I guess. Does it work? No, wait. Wow. Do I look good?

Whoa. I did it, guys. Whoa. I leveled up. Hold on. No, you've got to do a gentle tug back. Can you guys describe what you're doing for the audio? Okay, yeah.

So we're basically putting our two index and middle fingers on our temples and pulling back. I feel like this is going to look a little racist. We're squeezing our faces like the guy in Men in Black. Like this. It just gently lifts the face we're voguing Gigi Hadid and them they face tune their eyes so that they naturally are being pulled back just a little bit

it makes you look a little more awake and a little more Disney we should always look more awake guys what do you say right now always look scared always look a little scared have you ever like talked to somebody that had just insanely wide eyes?

Yeah. And I always feel bad because I'm always just like, you're a little. I don't trust them. Someone we know's significant other is like that. I don't even know who you're talking about. It's not in this room. Do they listen to this podcast? I don't think so.

Just a person that like, I literally met her once. So it's like I, but like it's one of those people that makes intense eye contact and is, like, right here. What? Like, super close. Oh. It's kind of like a Tom Cruise thing. You're talking about. It's kind of the Tom Cruise thing, though.

You're telling secrets on the podcast. Yeah. The video version of this will eventually come out and they will see look everybody everybody has a different sort of social thing but yeah yeah it's a little it's off-putting because as humans we're sort of like wired maybe you could back me up on this you're the psychology major but as i feel like as humans like when something is like not what we would see, what we would think is natural, our sort of natural reaction is like, this is wrong. Something is weird about this. Well, yeah, it's body language and it's facial expressions.

Yeah, you got to read other stuff. It goes against what they're saying and everything. And it's, yeah, it's a lot of communication without speaking a word. So it will intimidate you or scare you. You'll be like, what's going on? Or like, I feel insecure because it's like, stop looking at my face for too long. Don't be there.

Don't be there. Like, check other shit out. You know, like, I don't. Yeah, I'm like, why aren't you looking at my crotch? And they're like, this is a bank, sir. I don't care. Look at my crotch. TSA never likes when I'm like, uh, this is a bank, sir. I'm trying to. I don't care. Look at my crotch.

TSA never likes when I'm like, look at my crotch. Wow. Pat it more. Pat my crotch more. This episode. I would like to request a pat down. They're like, please, sir, no. Again.

Again. Again. Once more. You missed it. Nothing makes my balls hairier than a TSA agent patting them. Oh, God. How is that going to get bleeped? What, balls?

We could say balls. We could say balls. Tennis balls. Yeah. Yeah, you don't know what balls. Yeah, you get hairy tennis balls. Yeah. Tennis balls are hairy. Yeah, what is the deal with that. Yeah, you get hairy tennis balls. Yeah. Tennis balls are hairy.

Yeah, what is the deal with that? You know, it's just a thing. Don't judge. Yeah, why did somebody decide to put hair on a tennis ball? It's actually really nice. I used to play tennis. It's actually really nice. I used to play tennis.

I have medals. Did you really win medals? I didn't know you were a good tennis player. I was like 11. Can we play tennis? Yeah. Would you still be really good at tennis? I didn't know you were a good tennis player. I was like 11. Can we play tennis? Yeah. Would you still be really good at tennis? I think so, a little bit.

My cardio is not as good. Do you scream when you hit the ball? I breathe. Oh! Ah! Oh! Oh! Oh!

No! Did you say no? Yeah! Yeah! It's a me! Every time. Psych them out They're like Is he Mario?

Is this Mario Tennis Stars? Super Smash Tennis Solid game Haven't played it in a minute Oh man Mario Sports Game is great Mario Tennis is the jam I want to play tennis

Let's do it I will wear a skirt Will you wear a skirt? Yes. Okay. Two-part Smosh Games video. One is Mavis Beacon, second round, tennis. To determine ultimate champion.

Yeah, the greatest championship of all time. Mavis Beacon and tennis. Yes, please. Shane, you've been dressing like a maniac recently. Yeah, I've tried to just, you know, I realized in this sphere, we can wear whatever we want. It would be too weird for me to try to dress up like an office job, right? It would be so ugly. It doesn't work, right?

But I realized, I'm like, there's no dress code. So I wore overalls the other week. I'm wearing colorful shirts. It wasn't just like overalls. It was like striped overalls, right? No. No, it was black overalls. Oh, yeah. It was black overalls but you had a white t-shirt. I wore a white t-shirt but I'm wearing a striped shirt. Oh, you wore Pizza Place under

the overalls. I did wear the Pizza Place shirt. You looked like a painter. And then I wore a super colorful Cowboy Bebop shirt yesterday or two days ago. Been tucking in shirts. It's a different vibe. Yeah.

Matt Robb keeps roasting whatever I wear and it only encourages me. So yeah. You have too much jean. That's what Jenna Marbles says. Too much jean. I will say like, I feel like I was dressing boring for a long time because back in middle school and high school, I always wanted to be extra and like dress and like try and be like a Lizzie McGuire fashionista. Like I was all about that, but like definitely was bullied every time I ever like is definitely a thing in my school.

I've talked about this with you with like heels and stuff. Girls at my high school or middle school were like made fun of for trying in any way. Like fashion was like definitely like, ew, you're literally trying so hard to look good today. Ew. And so I feel like that extraness went away for a long time until I started here. And I definitely, like I used to wear the most basic things and have multiple of basic things.

And since we started here, like I'm like, oh, like it's okay to like be extra again. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's super fun. And what's funny is, I mean, Sarah, Matt, Rob, and extra again. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's super fun. And what's funny is, I mean, Sarah, Matt, Rob, and I, we roast each other nonstop. But they're the ones who roast me most for outfits. But Sarah literally dresses like a elementary school folder. Yes.

She's a binder. She's literally a binder. Look at any third grade binder. Yeah, she's like a Lisa Frank did acid. Yeah. But I will say, she's like my fashion muse, though. I think she was the one that inspired me more recent years,

mostly, but to try harder. We've got a lot of super fashionable people in the office. Yeah. Brennan, our camera guy, is super fashionable. He's like a J. Crew classic. He's a handsome gentleman. Yeah, he's like a classic vibe. Monica is similar, J.Crew, like classic. He's a handsome gentleman. Yeah, he's like a classic, classic vibe. Monica is similar,

but a little bit more outdoorsy. And then. Well, she can, she can bring out the, she could bust out the city, the city type. For sure.

Yeah, she'll surprise you one day and you're like, whoa. Yeah. I mean, yeah. And then Sarah,

yeah, Sarah's the neon vomit type, type look. Glitter puke. Yeah, literally. So yeah, I'm trying to, I'm trying to. Glitter puke. Yeah, literally. So, yeah, I'm trying to match their game. Yeah, I'm waiting for Damien's glow up moment.

I'm waiting for when he breaks out. Yeah, Damien keeps talking. He wants to do like his goal is like Tokyo Street style. Yeah. That's what he likes. You got to like because us three went, me, Shane, and Damien went shopping recently. Yeah. And we got to, he at least tried on some really cool pieces. And I was like, I was thriving that day watching you guys get some fashion stuff.

I loved it. So I think he's getting there. He's got his. Yeah. He's getting there. He's at least visualizing what he wants. He's stepping outside of his comfort zone. Because I know his comfort zone was just like a printed T or something.

I think that's a lot of dudes. A lot of us are there. He's doing tie-dyes and stuff. He's getting there. I'm very interested to see his moment. If it wasn't for Goldbergs, I would dye my hair too because he did the whole blue hair thing. What would you do? Wait, what? Really?

Yeah, if it wasn't for Goldbergs, I'd probably do something crazy. I'd probably have like a mohawk. Sorry. Really? I don't know. I'd do something crazy. Oh, no.

No, you were talking about doing a mullet. Oh, yeah. That'd be dope. I honestly... That would be honestly pretty sick. I think a little... I think like a short mullet, I think you could pull off...

Short mullet? That's just short hair. No, like it's not super. No, we're not talking like down to my middle back. Not Joe Dirt. Yeah. I got the poo on me. No, like a mild MacGyver.

Oh, okay. I see it. Diet MacGyver. Like a punk rock mullet. Yeah, yeah. Like, you know, like I look like, oh, maybe he's in The Clash. I still... I don't know if that reference makes sense.

Could you grow a mustache? Ooh. You could. Oh, I would definitely grow a mustache also. You could. Boys, I've been wanting you to do mustaches forever. On the Goldbergs, I'm playing like an 18-year-old, so I can't do that stuff. There are some 18-year-olds that have some mustaches.

You know what I'm saying yeah yeah I would love I'd have a mustache and a mullet it'll happen wow it would make Smosh videos a little strange that's the problem yeah Jordan Schwartz suddenly has a mustache well when you said that when you said mustache and a mullet I literally saw what's the character in like in

redneck Pokemon oh yeah that's literally i guess that's literally that uh what is his name cooter cooter cooter yeah that would be me i still have but it would be natural yeah it'd be different it'd be real because the whole reason for us thinking that you would rock and mullet was what was the photo so so cc we got, we got that photo of me wearing that shirt that's like not blue or not green. It's blue. Everyone disagrees. And I don't care because it's

just a good shirt. But Cece was behind me holding up some color palettes on the left and right side of me. And in the photo, if you zoom in, you don't see Cece, you just see some of her hair and it just looks like I have a mullet. And honestly, I look pretty good. I look like the heartland. I look like, what's, what's the name? What's that guy who would sing those patriotic songs?

Proud to be American. Yeah. Who sings that? Clay Aiken. Yeah. Clay Aiken. I forget, but I look, I look like one of his songs. Ian, would you do anything new to your hair Lee Greenwood that's Lee Greenwood

Lee I look like I look like a Lee Greenwood song would I not Lee Greenwood I look like a Lee Greenwood song

I look unfortunately though I do look a little bit like a guy who if someone's not is still wearing their hat during the national anthem back

take your hat off because I've seen that before oh man what would you do hat during the National Anthem back, take your hat off! Because I've seen that before. Oh, man. What would you do? If you could do anything new, have you thought about it? Which you can. Like dyeing, coloring? You should do something nuts.

I'm not into dyeing. I feel like, man, I'm past. What would happen if you did like a three? Full chops. Shaves. Oh, or chops. I think full chops. I was thinking like shave your head like a three? Full chops. Oh, full chops. I think full chops.

I was thinking like shave your head like a three. Shave the sides? Everything. Everything. Whoa. Jesse Pinkman style. Oh my God, no. Yeah, I don't know about that.

I think full chops. I think you'd go 70s detective. Like a buzz cut? You're saying like a buzz cut. I don't know, man. You're saying my hair is that bad that you would rather shave my hair off. No, I literally am giving you ideas. I think your hair is great.

Thank you. Do you use conditioner? Mm-hmm. What kind? I feel like I've asked you this on other podcasts. I think it's like OGX. Cool. Original X?

Original X. Have you done a mustache? Yeah. Like a natural mustache? No. Ooh, you can. I've done it. I've done a I

took a joke photograph for my driver's license. Oh, I remember that. The handlebar. I did the handlebar connected. That's awesome. Connected to my, I think it was connected to my beard. No. No, I shaved, I shaved my beard and my chin off, so it was just my my beard. No, no, I shaved, I shaved, yeah, my beard and my chin off.

So it was just my mustache going down the sides. I think a simple mustache would be pretty dope. Oh man. I mean, it's bad. Simple mustache, no eyebrows. So people would be like, where'd your eyebrows go? Oh, there they are on your upper lip. Just pull off like a Jaden Smith.

He shaved his eyebrows off. He shaves his head on stage like regularly. That's pretty cool. I was trying to figure out why he looked like an alien. It's because he got rid of his eyebrows. He bleaches his eyebrows or shaves them. Yeah. You could try going even shorter on the sides

and letting things get longer up top and doing like a sleek back situation. I want to see that. GQ. I don't know if I have. I want to see that. GQ. I don't know if I have the hairline for that, for a sleek back. No, yes, you do. Like a comb back? Kind of like a greasy Wall Street guy?

Not quite. Cody Co-ish, like when he does that. Oh, okay. I feel like you could totally rock that. Go for it. Try it. Dude, you have a hairline, dude. Chill.

Or just part down the middle and always carry a very large lollipop with you. Could you just comb it all down and then? Yeah. Yeah, I'll braid it. I'll braid it into one braid that goes down like a Roman helmet. My hair is at the perfect length nowadays sometimes where if I sniff really hard it accidentally goes up in my nose

that's awesome that's a super power it's not ideal what color would you dye your hair I was actually gonna say I so I did a little bit of pink for summer games

and I thought it was so crazy but literally nobody noticed we all noticed I have jars of it left and sometimes I'm like if I'm bored one night I'm just gonna dip my head in there

do it but like I also want to be able to have my normal hair for sketches so word I have

I have pink I like the lavender look I have a few color jars that I haven't touched I think I have a purple a blue and a lot of pink and some orange

what if I did like a weird orange ooh like fifth element oh ooh Lilo Dallas Multipass I'm doing it I'm doing it tonight well cause I love What if I did like a weird orange? Ooh, like Fifth Element. Ooh, Leeloo Dallas Multipass. I'm doing it.

I'm doing it tonight. Well, because I love the red hair wig that you always wear in like sketches. Yeah. That always looks good. I think you do look good with red hair. I want to do red hair. I've always wanted to. Like Emma Stone changed my life for that reason. Also, she's a good actress, whatever.

My favorite Asian actress. The thing is. Mine's a good actress, whatever. My favorite Asian actress. The thing is... Mine's Scarlett Johansson. Beg to differ. They're both great Asian actresses. Well, just seeing the blonde and that they both work. But I know that once I do that, having blonde hair, it's just the upkeep is a bitch. I also have blonde eyebrows, so I'll have to either dye them as well

or be drawing them red every day or a dark ass color or like but when my blonde roots come in to red hair like what? That's weird.

Maybe. What's that going to look like? I mean if you went to if you went to a professional they would probably give you some good advice. I just have to keep paying for upkeep.

Yeah. It's expensive. Or you shave all your hair off. Whoa. It doesn't look that good. I have that short red wig but it's like it looks good guys but it's expensive. Or you shave all your hair off. Whoa. It doesn't look that good. I have that short red wig, but it's like, it looks good, guys, but it's because that's thick red hair in a wig, and also my hair is giving volume underneath,

so it's like it's not going to be the same. My hair naturally, like I forgot to hairspray it today. It's normally very flat and like lip. Like I don't, it's not fun. It's not like a you know like a the volume sound. Oh that's the volume sound? When you go to the hairdresser do you say I want more

in my hair? Just give me a little. And they're like you want to be a horse. Got it. She makes your hair into a horse. Yeah. That's horse girl hair. Literal horse girl. We'll see. I might dye my hair. Literal horse girl. We'll see. I might dye my hair orange tonight.

Do it. It looks so bad. Do it. Give it a shot. Do it. Is it time, guys, for me to dye my hair? Sounds like an episode of Pen15. One of these weeks when we don't have a shoot, do it.

Give it a shot. When do we not have a shoot? Yeah, we're shooting some personality stuff next week. You could do it. When do we not have a shoot? We have, yeah, we just, we're shooting some, some like personality stuff next week. You could do it. Should I do it for a video? Some pit stuff? The boys dye my hair. Having fun with my boys.

That would actually maybe be, that would probably do well. And then I could just go to the salon right after. For a video. Look, we got a lot of good video ideas out of this podcast. We got to play whatever the, the ultimate challenge. Mavis Beacon. Mavis Beacon, tennis, dye your hair, and then I'll grow a mullet and Ian will get a mustache. Okay.

And a Cody co-cut. Cody co-cut. Cody cut. I mean, I don't really know what that is. Neither do I. It's just kind of like swept back a little bit. Well, it's just shorter on the sides and then just like let it go a little bit longer and like have more fun with what's up top, you know?

We should, well look, you dye your hair, you get a mustache in the same video and we just call it Fuck My Shit Up Fam. Gold. Maybe there'll just be a series

where one of us just gets something really fucked up done to us. Well, I was gonna say, I think we should have a beauty channel. I think we should have

a beauty channel. Damn, we should have a beauty channel. Damn, throwing some hard pitches. What should we call it? Since we're definitely getting one now. Let's call it... Smosh Glam. Smosh Glam. Let's call it like Simply Nailogical.

Do you think that's taken? Simply Smoshological. I think I have a lot of beauty tips that the world is waiting, just waiting. Dude, that would be so cool, though, to do like a beauty channel where we had guy and girl stuff, so that you could do like guy self-care, girl self-care. You seem very excited for this. Guys, what would we call our beauty channel if we started in, For the first time in years, Smosh starts a new channel.

Beauty. Smosh Booty. Subscribe. You know what would be interesting is... You know what would be a good one for like that is like all of us bring the colognes or whatever scents we use. And then we have everyone in the office like blindly decide... And guess who it is based on the perfume. Who's using the best.

And for me, it's just my sweat. Yeah. Hey, maybe it'll win. You never know. This is some good pitches. You guys are, you guys listening

are in on a good pitch meeting right now. This is a change of subject, but we threw some axes yesterday. We did. You did? Oh yeah,

you didn't get to be a part of it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's fine. I did some cool stuff at Goldberg's. It was cool.

Oh yeah, you did. Didn't you do something cool? I can't talk about it. Oh, I'm sorry. I can't give away what scenes are. Tell us the plot. Who dies in Goldberg's?

Who ends up king of the north? Does Mr. Goldberg die? Goldberg thrones? Yeah, Kiefer Sutherland comes in, and we have 24 hours to get out of Philly. That's where it's based? Philadelphia? But how, though? But how?

Because you're shooting that in L.A. How is it based in Philly? I don't know. I don't get that. I don't know. How does that work? They actually do a pretty good job of making it seem, because other shows, like The Office,

whenever there's exterior shots, it's like, oh, oh yeah this is pennsylvania no that's blatantly culver city yeah it's palm trees yeah seriously seriously i i thought i think i thought for a while that always sunny was shot in philadelphia but it's like no that bar is downtown la really yeah same with friends friends is all in la as well the office is in burbank yeah a lot but it's like, no, that bar is in downtown LA. Really? Yeah. Same with Friends. Friends is all in LA as well. The Office is in Burbank. Yeah. A lot of it's in Burbank.

So wait, you threw axes. Where'd you guys go? It was for like a John Wick thing. Yeah, it was like their- It's called LA Axe. Oh, I've gone there. Oh, really? Yeah, I've been there.

Have you thrown axes at LA Axe? I've thrown axes, yeah. Did you see my story? You didn't watch my Instagram story? No, but you don't watch the Goldbergs, so... That's not the same! Yeah, who got the most bullseyes? Damien, I think.

I think, well... That tracks. I don't know, Damien and I were pretty evenly matched. Oh, really? Yeah. We were nailing that wood pretty hard. Jesus. Yeah, yeah.

Courtney, you got a couple good ones in there yeah i like i would get scared and not want to commit like but what every time i was like yes i'm committing i feel confident i would do a good job but like i would just be like i don't care and throw it it'd be really bad and embarrassing yeah it's you gotta you gotta just believe yeah that's that's part of it you just gotta like it goes for like a lot of marksman things. Like if you're like doubting what you're going to do or you're like anticipating the thing, you're going to be much worse at it. Like you just got to follow through.

Yeah. We went to a place where you literally just throw axes at targets. They had brisk, they had iced tea and cookies and tacos. But you have to earn the cookies. I felt a little bad. I wasn't trying to shit talk brisk iced tea, but it's definitely not tea. So there's no caffeine in it? I don't know if there's caffeine in it, but I don't think there's any tea in brisk iced tea.

Brisk raspberry iced tea is my shit. I'm pretty sure it's just... It's basically just sugar. Those commercials used to terrify me. Brisk had some pretty intense commercials back in the day. A lot of claymation, and it was really rough. Those and the California raisins given me nightmares as a child. Yeah, just claymation stuff could be really creepy sometimes

really they went intense with it yeah brisk had some some intense commercials so they have tea powder they have tea powder so technically I guess it's tea

so they're the k-cups of iced teas yeah um there is a little bit of there's a surprisingly low amount of caffeine is what this says

interesting that sucks I mean I don't really drink it for the caffeine anyway. I drink it for the taste. I've always equated it to more like, it's more like a soda. It's basically a soda. Yeah, due to the use of instant tea powder instead of brewed tea.

How much milligrams caffeine is in it, you think? How much sugar is in it? There's a lot. There's like 18 grams, 38 grams. But a lot of those people are eating, a lot of people like drink that tea because they think it's healthy. It's like, bruh, no. No, that's like the Kool-Aid of teas. Anything you're getting from a soda machine,

any place is probably not gonna be good for you. Sorry. You know what's good for you? Mavis Beacon. Ooh, five milligrams of caffeine. That ain't nothing. Come on, I have to drink like 45. I need more than that.

But I will. You need more. I have to drink like 45. I need more than that. But I will. You need more. Doctor prescribes more caffeine. I didn't know that root beer, like Barg's and stuff, was caffeinated until literally like a month ago. I don't think Barg's has. I thought root beer wasn't. I learned that it's caffeinated. Well, some of it probably is.

I think a lot of it does say caffeine free. Like there's mug caffeine free. I think it's just certain root beer companies. It's caffeinated. Search Barg's. Search Barg's. No. I did.

Nancy said it was caffeinated. By the way, it's Barg's. Multiple people in this office. It's Barg's. You should have been lied to. Not Barg's. It's a Q. Multiple people in this office have told me it's caffeinated.

They lied to you, Courtney. It's not my fault. Don't you? Okay, can I vent real quick? Whoa. Can I vent real quick? Oh, wait, wait, wait. Here we go. Here we go. Hold on. I actually you don't. Okay. Can I vent real quick? Can I vent real quick? Oh, wait, wait, wait. Here we go. Here we go. Hold on. I actually have an answer. Okay. So A&W, IBC and mug root beer are caffeine free. Diet Barks has no caffeine. Regular Barks has

caffeine. That's what I'm saying, bro. Okay. But on this note, on this note, don't you hate it? Cause this happens to me all the damn time. And it happens here at this office a lot because we're all somewhat opinionated. We all have to, we fight for our opinions, whatever. And so I'll be talking to someone and they'll be like, say something like that where it's like, oh, did you know that all sweaters use polyester? And I'll be like, I didn't know that. That's very neat.

Are you sure? And they're like, yes, I'm absolutely positive. And then later I'll be like, did you know that all sweaters have polyester? And someone will be like, no, that's not true at all. You're very dumb. And I'll be like, but someone told me that. And they're like, here's the research to prove that you're wrong. And I'll be like, wow, I was lied to and I believed them.

That's literally the world. That happens so much and I hate it. Yeah, it sucks. I hate it. It sucks. I don't want to have to like spend, like imagine every day, like, okay, what are the things I learned today?

All right, let's go to internet and research and make sure everything I learned today was true. But then when you Google, but then when you Google things, it depends on how you Google things. You will find like, some things are true.

How often, how often do you guys do this? Cause I do it all the time. I'll be like, I'll be like, is two cups of coffee bad for you? And it's like research that shows that two cups of coffee will kill you right now.

And then it's like, and then you'll immediately Google is two cups of coffee good for you. And then it's like, research shows that two cups of coffee will make your penis bigger. And I'm like, whoa, I didn't know. There's everything's good for you and everything's bad for you.

That's all I've had to accept. Coffee is good for your liver. That's what I've learned. The problem is we don't know how this research is being done, how conclusive it is, how many studies. But two cups of coffee will make your penis bigger. I have that known as fact. Yeah, that's fact. I drink two cups of coffee. known as fact. Yeah, that is. Yeah, that's fact. I drink two cups of coffee.

Absolute fact. I measure my dick, drink two cups of coffee, go back and measure it. It's bigger. Maybe because it's I have to pee, but. I don't think that's how penises work. Hi, yes, that's true. Okay, great. I just got off the phone with the president of science and he says, yes, that's true.

Yes. Barks Root Beer has 22 milligrams of caffeine. Okay. That's not too much. That's pretty low, that's true. Barks Root Beer has 22 milligrams of caffeine. Okay. That's not too much. That's pretty low. It's low. That's like Mormon levels of acceptable caffeine. No, zero milligrams caffeine.

Mormon levels of caffeine. Well, when I was a kid, like no caffeine at all. You were allowed to drink Coca-Cola, nothing. But now, apparently it's changed. I think because I want to – I'm not going to say anything because I don't know. I think you heard it from me where it's like there was like some sponsorship or endorsement. It was a donation or something. I'm not positive, so I don't want to say.

Cold caffeine is okay. I heard that too, and I think I've checked that with multiple sources, and it seems like there is some truth to it. Yeah. But who knows? I could still be wrong. Don't Google it. You can Google it at home is some truth to it. Yeah. But who knows? I could still be wrong. Don't Google it. You can Google it at home. Don't Google it.

But, yeah. Yeah. The world is, everything is a lie. Yeah. God, the caffeine, the great caffeine debate. Yeah. Caffeine's awesome. It's definitely one of those things where it's like,

I don't know if it's good for you, but it's definitely not horrible for you. I's like I don't know if it's good for you but it's definitely not horrible for you I mean I'll definitely say like if you want it's an amount thing if you're tired or whatever

and you're an adult and you don't have heart problems and you know you're not super preggers or something like your baby's hyper

it's not gonna hurt you coffee's coffee's the way to go like I wouldn't say I wouldn't say like energy drinks and that kind of garbage like there's so much other stuff in there everything like I said everything's good for you everything's bad for you Coffee is the way to go. I wouldn't say energy drinks and that kind of garbage.

There's so much other stuff in there. Like I said, everything's good for you. Everything's bad for you. It doesn't end there also. Like, hey, say, if you drink this cup of coffee, it's going to stain your teeth and maybe hurt your body a little bit. But it also helps you complete a very important assignment that maybe you decided the rest of your career. Like there's give and take in life. It's also everyone reacts differently because I'll go through phases where I think it gives me too much anxiety. Sure, yeah.

It makes me tired later in the day. If I have coffee too late in the day and then I go to the gym, I have an induced, like I have anxiety attack at the gym. Yeah. Well, because your penis is too big at that point. Yeah, my penis is too big. You know what I have been doing lately, though, that Olympians swear by? Shooting caffeine into your butt.

Yep. When I get back from the gym, a non-alcoholic beer. Super good. What? I feel great. What? And it's refreshing, and it's not bad for you. Look, I don't know. A lot of Olympians are being like, yo,

that's the best post-workout drink. Really? Non-alcoholic beer. What does it have? Like carbs? I don't know. I don't actually know. I just know-alcoholic beer. What does it have, like carbs? I don't know. I don't actually know. I just know that it's refreshing and it doesn't have alcohol, so I don't feel guilty. Kevin's nodding his head. Why?

Yeah, he likes non-alcoholic beer. Yeah. It's really good. It's got the carbs and the calories within it, but not the alcohol. And it's refreshing and tasty as well. Yeah. I'm sure there's, are there better things? Probably.

But it's a nice. Yeah, like alcoholic beer. Yeah. I'm sure there's, are there better things? Probably, but it's a nice. Yeah, like alcoholic beer. Just chugging tequila at the gym. Is it bad that I drink kombucha as often as I do? I don't know anything about kombucha. Because there's like the tiniest faint amount of alcohol in it, right? Oh, yeah. You're talking like not enough.

I think it's. Well. What percent? right oh yeah you're talking like not enough i think it's well what percent i well i had a friend that like that again they weren't they didn't eat anything that day then they went to like some event that they were like giving out a lot of kombucha and she swears like her and her friends got like kind of tipsy off of it but that might have been a different a lot if you are legally allowed to buy it under 21 yeah then it can't. I have a hard time believing that. I mean, I know it has some.

I mean, look, is it at the point where if you have alcoholism, whatever, then maybe you should avoid it. I don't know. Because I know hungover people will drink a kombucha. Is that like a hair of the dog situation then? I feel like it's more the other. I would say it's more the other things in it. Because, I mean, kombucha's Is that like a hair of the dog situation then? I feel like it's more of the other, I would say it's more of the other things in it, you know?

Cause I mean, kombucha has got a lot of stuff in it. I love kombucha. I love it too. I don't, I don't even believe it's good for me. I just like it. It tastes like fancy pickle juice and I'm all about it.

I've seen, I've noticed a difference in a lot of things. Thanks to kombucha, I think. That's good. Oh, somebody, and then here we go again with the Google,

but somebody was telling me that now they're linking too much probiotic use to brain fog. I swear to God. Yeah, I saw that. Yeah, like you eat too much Greek yogurt and you'll be dizzy. Oh, I had so much Greek yogurt. I'm going crazy. I think, hey, you could do whatever you want, except for like heroin.

You do whatever you want in moderation. You'll be okay. Always take, it's good. Except for like smoking cigarettes and heroin and crack. Yeah, just those four things. Well, there's also some things like, look, I enjoy beer a lot. People say like, if you have it in moderation, it's good for you. I don't think there's any level of it's being good for you.

Yeah, when it comes to alcohol. It's moderation, so it's not devastating to your body. Yes. But the whole, like, oh, a glass of wine a day is good for you. I'm like, so is eating grapes. Like, just eat grapes, you know? Pharmacists recommend that you take probiotics while you're taking antibiotics. That's all I will say.

That makes sense. Because antibiotics kills every form of bacteria in the body, including the good kind. Probiotics supplies the good kind of bacteria. I can understand having too much of anything. Is that? Also, brain fog. Come on. Who doesn't want a little bit of brain fog?

You know? Sounds pretty nice. Like, in your head, you're in the bayou. Yeah. It's like you're just taking a nice little trip through London, you know? Yeah, exactly, you know? Those people seem all right. Yeah, like you're in the Victorian era and a vampire's going to come out and get you?

Yeah, all right. Hey, it's pretty fun. It's almost Halloween time. Time for some brain fog. Guys, I'm having a brain fog party at my house. Just getting wild off kombucha. Yeah, we're going to eat a bunch of Greek yogurt and just freak out. I'm kind of

considering jumping into the booch land. Jumping into booch land. Yeah, but I just haven't taken that leap yet. It just seems like the final douchey LA thing to do. Yeah, I hated

it until I found a flavor I liked. I've drank it since before I moved out here, though. It was back in Arizona, and a friend of mine was like, kombucha. And I was like, what is this? And I remember being like, okay with it then, but I've always, it's. Yeah. I mean, as an example of how douchey it is, there's this one flavor that's labeled rose.

Nice. With the accent over the E. Hell yeah. Like Rose, but the flavor is Rose. It's not Rose. So it's bubbly Rose. I think I will fight. It was actually pretty good.

I will fight to the death over the fact that Trilogy, GT Dave's Trilogy, which is like one of the originals, is the best flavor. Gingerberry. Hands down. No, Trilogy is the best. GT Dave, thank you for giving me Trilogy, which is like one of the originals, is the best flavor. Gingerberry? Hands down. No, Trilogy is the best. Gingerberry. GT Dave, thank you for giving me Trilogy. I saw you at Star Wars Land at Disneyland. I should have said hi. What?

To thank you for Trilogy. He was there just chilling. Like, he had, like, some Star Wars merch. He was having a good time. Galaxy's Edge. Was he building a lightsaber and a droid? I think he had a droid He had a creature on his shoulder I think

Yeah he's chilling You took a pic of him I did take a picture of him I took a subtle picture of him not like invasive I was in the photo and I took it like So it's a selfie but you see him in the background What? Yeah that's the classic way to show

I didn't want to be and he's like You cannot even tell that it's him like i sent it to just courtney just being like look oh my god was there a beam of light just constantly yeah it was cloudy that day and just a little opening that just shined on him wow uh and his all his glory but uh could you smell him from where you're at like did, did he smell wonderful? He looks like he could smell, like, a certain cleanliness from, like, five miles away. He seems like a very clean person. He smells like an amazing aftershave.

Yeah, yeah. I like the smell of aftershave. Yeah. Did he feel better after you saw him? Yeah. I did. Your brain wasn't in a fog? Yeah, I felt so much better. I actually went and ran a marathon later that afternoon. That's dope. Just from his presence. If anyone doesn't know what we're talking about,

Cody Coe did a great video about this. GT Dave, the creator. The Kombucha King. Manufacturer of kombucha, yeah. Yeah, he's LA's Bruce Wayne. I think they say that, right? Probably. But they clowned on him really hard,

and then he was cool about it and then he invited him. They made a video together. Yeah. He invited them to his place. He's a really cool guy.

Because apparently what company made that video of GT Dave? I don't know. They told him to do that weird stuff. Oh really? Like the pacing

and like it was like their cinematography that made him They made him look like a straight up villain. Extra crazy, yeah. It's awesome. I think it's great

yeah love his stuff love kombucha so we're about we're about to the end um forgot to finish off with some Ian's funny news

oh I haven't seen that in a while it's been a minute we really are back at it huh yeah um nobody

nobody died this time nobody nobody got well wouldn't say nobody got hurt. Actually, this guy hurt, this guy ruined a lot of lives. He's the founder of the largest gay conversion therapy camps, and he just came out as gay.

The amount of times that happens is mind-blowing. Yeah, gee, I wonder why. Yeah. So, yeah, he came out and then denounced everything that he's ever done and said that it doesn't work. And then he supports gay, lesbian, trans people. How old is he? He's like 50 or something. Yeah.

So it's like, of course. Wow. His own personal inner battle just spilled out and destroyed a bunch of lives. Yeah. He probably legitimately ruined a lot of lives. Oh, 100%. 100. I wonder if that news, though, I wonder how that impacts a lot of the people who had to go through his programs.

Like seeing that and being like, oh, this was made by someone who, I don't know. Yeah. It's all sketch. I feel like that kind of stuff's coming to an end, though. I feel like we're, I mean, look, there's definitely still tons of people, but I feel like I don't hear as many people say like they believe it's a choice. Like I think people have got to be all. You have to have never gone on Twitter or like you are never on the internet to like not see that stuff. But it's crazy like the amount of people who like are still behind on that stuff.

Still believe it's a choice yeah crazy to me that's crazy yeah but like even so that guy he's owned up and now he's like okay just kidding there's still a lot of people who went through the conversion therapy it's not like they can i hear a ringing sound is that just my brain sick um people will be like okay cool so he's get he's openly gay now but like they went through the conversion therapy and it's not like they're like

okay so it's okay for me to be gay now it's like they still have families or whatever that is holding them back for being able to be themselves

well and they still have the trauma of going through that program like even if they were like oh it's okay now they're still they're never going

to be able to be they will be but it would take so much therapy and so much work yeah and I don't know what kind of methods this one did. Because there's all different kinds of ones, and they go through different levels of extremely humiliating piece of things.

They're all awful. Yeah, it's really bad. So, yeah, I don't know. If you're like a founder of a gay conversion therapy camp, go fuck yourself. Our vice president, I'm pretty sure sure i'm not a founder but he definitely hasn't been involved he hasn't denounced oh mike pence yeah he was no he was closely involved in like oh yeah oh he's he's hardcore like that yeah yeah that's a big old bummer not oh when i said

vice president you thought i meant of smosh no no no I was like oh Mike Pence I meant of our country yeah I did not mean no yeah I forget that you're no you're a president you're not a vice president

I'm the pres baby don't cross me do you have a sash I should get a sash I'll make you a sash can you please yeah I think I've been actually meaning

to make a bunch of sashes let's save it for the beauty channel guys what's the name of our Smatch beauty channel? Guys, sorry. That'll be your guys' homework. Come up with a good name for our beauty channel.

I think that's good homework for you guys. Courtney, Shane, it was lovely being back on the pod with you guys. Good catching up. Thanks, Ayn. We literally, us three, did not have a conversation till today. Till today.

We have not talked at all. We don't talk outside of this podcast. Nope. Never. Nope. Nope. Never.

Off camera, zip it. Real quick, my sister and I had a bit the other day where it's like, what if we hung out an entire day

but like just didn't talk? So it's just going through things like food or getting our nails done. Oh, so it's like me and my sister? I'm just kidding. No! Anyway, it's good to through things like food or getting a nail I'm just kidding anyway it's good to be back with you guys

Courtney just smacked my tummy what if I pooped here you go and then we just cut so thank you guys for coming on

and thank you guys, the listeners and the viewers for tuning in to another Smoshcast. If you're listening to this, hey, you could listen to us on Wednesday. If you're watching us, you got to wait till Friday to see our beautiful faces.

But if you're watching us on YouTube, you're hearing us uncensored so you can't hear that terrible thing that Tana Mongeau said. Yes, if you're not yet subscribed to the podcast, please do so. Give us a like, hit that bell button, do all those amazing things. Every little bit

of effort that you do for us, we appreciate so much. And we love you. We love you. We love you. Eat some Greek yogurt, get that brain fog. Get that brain fog, baby. And drink two cups of coffee. And one non-alcoholic beer after the gym. Yep. Alright. There's your

homework. Love you. Goodbye. Bye. We'll see you next time.