Smosh Mouth - S1: #36 - Damien Is Not A Psychic

Episode Date: October 23, 2019

In honor of spooky season, Shayne, Damien, and Sarah exchange ghost stories, open up about their experiences with lucid dreaming, and Damien talks about why he is absolutely not a psychic.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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I just kind of like eventually rolled away, closed my eyes and looked back and she was gone. There are fun compilations online called Damien is a Psychic. They are fun to watch. I'm not a psychic. I think if anyone tells you

they're a psychic, they're full of crap. You know, there's been a lot of coincidence in my life and little moments here and there that were very

important moments and maybe I don't have a direct explanation, but I'll take it as it is. Sara. Sara Wario. 100%. Sara I'll take it as it is. Sara. A hundred percent. Sara Wario. Sara Weedle.

Sara Wario. Sara Wario. Sara Wario. That's great. Oh my God. This is my body. This is my blood. One of you will betray me

and that's the fucking tea. That's great. Judas is like, uh, Jesus tea? The Christmas, the story of Christmas. Yeah. And anyways, so Damien and I then wrestled the crocodile down and, uh, you know, it, we ended up becoming friends. We, we talked it out after that.

I believe it. Hey, wow. Guys, uh, welcome to the Smosh cast. It's a very, very fun episode. I'm your host for today, Shane Topp, and with me are Damien Haas and Sarah Whittle. Hello. Hi, guys. Two of really my best friends.

Like, honestly. Me a little more. I'm more best friends. I'm going in for the high five. I'm giving this as a charity. Take the high five. I'm not taking a charity high five. Damien went for niceness, and you immediately were mean. I'm competitive this as a charity. Take the high five. I'm not taking a charity high five.

Damien went for niceness and you immediately were mean. I'm competitive. Interesting that. What good friend material? We got to go do a little dog walk the other day, which was really awesome. A dog hike. Yeah. It was Runyon Canyon and we had like, what, 15 rescue pups? Yeah, little puppies were foster babies.

And we took them up the hill. And it was so cute. It was great. I needed it because I can't have a pet right now. And I want one so bad. So to just go get to hang out with a bunch of dogs was so awesome. You can borrow my cats for the week and a half I'm in Japan. I would do that for you.

Maybe. Yeah. Maybe. Honestly, maybe. I don't know. I'll think about for you. Maybe. Yeah. Maybe. Honestly, maybe. I don't know. I'll think about that. You can't just borrow cats. You can. I can leave them at his house. Sometimes just borrow cats. You never just borrow cats? He doesn't have much, like, fabric stuff

in his home, so there's not much they could ruin. Oh, they will find something to ruin. They've started picking under Mark's door, too, and tearing up the carpet there, which means I want to die, because that was the biggest issue with our last apartment. Just let them conquer every part of the house. That's what we do. They're doing that for you.

It's a losing fight. Yeah. They are serving you. They are your soldiers. Let them slowly take over everything. Can't they just annex the apartment next to me? I would prefer that. Oh my God.

So because it's Halloween time, it's October, I kind of wanted to talk about spooky stuff. And my cool outfit. Yeah, for those of you listening, Sarah came in dressed like a Fortnite skin. She's wearing a unicorn onesie. Yeah, because Finnerty told me it was a Halloween themed episode and he said everyone was going to dress up and then I showed up and I looked like a real...

Did he actually? Except Sarah, you dress like this every day. I know. This is just what I wanted to wear today. I can't stress enough how much Sarah dresses like a complete psychopath every day.

And I dress crazy, but Sarah dresses like... I don't know. Listen, I don't have hobbies. So this is all I have. I don't have time for hobbies. So bright makeup and bright clothes is all I have. I don't have time for hobbies. So bright makeup and bright clothes are all I have. You're very good at putting together fashionable outfits, though.

The thing that always surprises me is if you're wearing a specific pair of boots and it is glittered and bedazzled or whatever, I look at your outfit and I think, this is the only possible outfit in existence where these boots can work like do you buy a pair of shoes per outfit that's my question because it's so specific yeah that's you know a lot of people when they're putting an outfit together they might have one star piece you know like the shoes or a shirt or the onesie I say why not have multiple star pieces and put it all together and even if it doesn't make sense, it then makes sense.

Yeah. Okay. You end up looking like a middle school notebook. You know what? Hashtag goals. Hashtag Lisa Frank. Hashtag steal more of your memes. I always go to Claudio and I'm like, how does this look?

And he's like, insane, but you can do it. Delightful. Yeah. I'm a fashionista. Yeah. Lisa Frank steals from you. It's pretty dope. Yeah. Fact, actually. Yeah, God. Delightful. Yeah. I'm a fashionista. Yeah, Lisa Frank steals from you. It's pretty dope. Yeah, it's crazy. Fact, actually.

Yeah, actually. Lisa Frank actually did steal from me. Straight up screenshot at a meme that she made and was just like, this is a Lisa Frank meme now. I annexed it. I mean, it was based off of her products, but still, it was their most high engaged piece of content on their Instagram for a while.

Almost like you're very talented at what you do. Almost like I am owed a consultant fee. Oh man, this just became the tea cast. Tea, what are you talking about? We make coffee. Oh my god. I'm so good at that. Alright, speaking of.

Guys, we gotta... Cheers. All right. Speaking of. Guys, we got to. Cheers. Clank. Damn. Facing this way. Guys, we got a bunch of awesome merch at Smosh.store. And we have the My Favorite Coffee at MyFavoriteCoffee.com. It is Ian's passion project.

He worked on it for months. Check it out. It's very, very good. Also, fun fact. So if you live not in the U.S., shipping the cold brew is quite expensive because I think it comes out to like six or seven pounds of liquid. That's not fun at all. But if you get the beans or the ground beans, it ships for a lot less money. Hells yeah.

And you actually are probably getting more cups of coffee with that. Smart. Smart. Very smart. Nice. The more you know. with that. Smart. Smart. Very smart. Nice. The more you know. Very, very nice. And look, you know, I can't, this isn't advertised on the coffee,

but I once saw Ian drink some of the cold brew and then run, he ran a 40 in five seconds. And, you know, I can't say that they're correlated. I can't say it's because of the coffee, but I'm just saying that it happened immediately after he drank the coffee. So look, if you're looking to win the Olympics. I thought it was because I walked up to him and said, let's have an emotional heart to heart.

And he revolted. Oh my God. This is a roast Ian podcast now that he's not hosting it. Yeah, now that he's not here. Ian is currently excavating a new section of Machu Picchu. He had one full cold brew and he's ready to go. Yeah, none of us are exactly sure where Ian is. He disappeared this week.

Into the woods. Yeah, he texted us and said, I'll be back. And we're like, cool, man. He pulled a book on a bookshelf and all of a sudden it twisted around. And we're like, we didn't even know the Mythical Office could do that. He's somewhere in a lair. He found a hidden pirate ship underneath our building oh my god oh my god all right anyways that would be scary yeah that would be speaking of speaking of scary thanks damien just segwaying our way around Oh my god

This is how the natural flow of conversation happens Thanks Damien for hosting the podcast Shane's getting demoted Sorry That's fine Yeah I wanted to talk about spooky stuff I wanted to talk about like ghosts And scary movies and crap

Okay I'm sorry and scary movies and crap. Okay. I'm sorry. Yeah, since it's October, as some of you might know, I watch a lot of scary movies by myself in the dark. Because you're a psycho. Yeah, it's kind of fun and it does ruin my life a little bit.

I did the other day with Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which is Ryan's like favorite movie ever it was really rough for a movie made in the 70s that movie gets awful really yeah yeah just like it's a good movie it's just just like awful like it's tormenting you for the last half hour I don't like spoopy movies I really don don't fare well. What was the last scary movie you saw? Well, we all went to Us together. But that wasn't actually scary. Once the house gets off the ground with the balloons, it's not that bad.

Stop. Stop. You're drunk. You're drunk. I'm so sorry Damien has just been nuts this morning You guys asked for dark Damien And then when he's here you can't handle it That was like hi Damien That was just funny

Like I don't know what's up The one before was the first It. Oh, yeah, that movie's awesome. Everyone was saying how cool it was. It was good, but I had a miserable time. I love that movie so much. That movie's really scary because... It's a comedy.

It really is kind of half comedy. No, this is why it's so scary. The scary moment happens and usually it's like in in typical movies you have a jump scare and then it like settles down after that jump scare it like the scary thing keeps going oh yeah like that kid keeps going towards the lens and that's like yeah it's really true so is that are you scared of like all scary movies or is it like i used to watch a lot more scary movies when I was in high school and just had no fear of anything. So I would watch like most of the Saw movies and like Strangers and, you know, House on Haunted Hill I saw pretty young.

I remember that. That one messed me up when I was young. That one messed me up. The Ring messed me up. Same. Ring has the one shot. The Hills Have Eyes did not mess me up because I'm like, I'm never going to be in New Mexico or wherever.

You don't know that. I do know that. I drove through New Mexico. No, no, no, no, no. It's a scary state. I drove across the country to come out here from Georgia to California. And let me tell you, when you hit Texas, there's just nothing until you

get to New Mexico. And then the rock formations are beautiful. I did not have that experience. I was thankful. Northern New Mexico has a bunch of antelope and just rolling hills. It's really gorgeous. Good for you guys. Good for New Mexico, honestly. Good for New Mexico.

I drove from Phoenix to Colorado and had to go through New Mexico. I thought I was going to stop in New Mexico. And I was like, no, I'm good. I'm going to keep driving. Wow. So I did. I used to watch a lot of scary movies. I think it's such a stressful experience for me because when I watch a movie, I'm like fully in it.

And I just want to avoid all things in my life that cause extra stress. Oh, no. So I like to watch things like The Masked Singer. Oh, that's So I like to watch things like The Masked Singer. Oh. That's scary to me. And I had to stop off of real crime podcasts because they were spooking me too much. I have a hard time with true crime podcasts.

True crime movies don't scare me too much because I just see it as kind of like a drama and I'm like, oh, this is scary. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But when it's a podcast or when it's like an actual documentary about it, then that gets really scary because I'm like, oh, this is scary. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But when it's a podcast or when it's like an actual documentary about it, then that gets really scary because I'm like, oh, this happened and that's awful.

Yeah, and for a while I was listening to like Ted Bundy and like one about the Black Dahlia killer and it was a lot of violence against women and I was like, I think it's time to just like listen to a podcast outside and Smoshcast right now. Like it was, I think it's time to just like listen to podcasts outside and Smoshcast right now. Like it was, I had to do a palate cleanse. That's like the only kind of stuff to me that actually is scary because it's real.

Like I think a lot of the scary stuff that we think about can't really hold a candle to how terrible human beings can be. And that stuff like really happens. Like sometimes if I'm watching a movie and it's just like, there's monster in the lake i don't care how good the shots are i can appreciate the movie but i'm never like oh man what if there is a monster in the lake it's like there's not i think what's weird is that i'm i i don't know if i necessarily believe in in ghosts or anything like that but movies about ghosts and demons and stuff scare me so much. Really? Because it's such a like twist of reality that I'm like, if

something like that did happen, it's something that my brain is not ready for at all. That's why The Ring like freaked me out. The Ring is freaky. The Ring was like, it was kind of like the first kind of horror film that I remember that really like talked about like technology. And it was

like if you watched this thing, which in theory you could watch anywhere and then this like spooky girls coming for you. It was like, it was very scary. That brings up a good point. It's kind of like the, the cop,

the creepy pasta of nowadays, like the, the spooky memes that people share where it's just like creepy pasta. I don't know about it. It would ruin your life. It's this term called copy pasta where people would, it it's it was sort of like an early version of like memes it's like what you copy paste or apply in in a forum and you know everybody knows that you've seen that meme before so creepypasta is like these urban legend kind of situations that you know

people post in forums or just online on like wordpress or whatever and they get sort of shared around like yeah modern day urban legends But I think so many of them, the thing that makes them scary, and it's interesting that you brought that up, is the one thing that touches on your everyday reality, whether it's the VHS tape there, or it's like modern day ones might be like, did you get the text?

If you all stand in a circle and eight people text this, one of you will get a text back. And that text back is from the blah, blah, blah murderer. And you know, it's that kind of stuff. Yeah, they have that new movie called The Countdown where you, like, download an app that tells you when you're going to die. And it's real. Ooh.

Ooh. Oh, no, I only got 20 minutes left. Oh, but prom is tomorrow. But, yeah, but how do you guys feel? Do you guys actually believe in real ghosts or no? I am on, I feel like spirits of some kind can exist, right? Like my dad put it a good way when we were driving out from Georgia to California, because, you know, that's when you have the deep talks.

But I was just like, how do you feel about, you know, such and such? And he said, everything is magic until you prove how it works. So if you think about electromagnetism, if you talked about that 200, 300 years ago, you'd be burned at the stake. But now it's like, oh yeah, there are invisible waves coming off of all these different things.

That's electromagnetism. So is there some form of energy from a human life that can linger around in some way? Maybe it has to do with time or what have you. I believe that can happen. But when it's like this ghost is angry that you're in its house and it's going to knock over that bottle, I'm you, I believe that can happen. But when it's like, this ghost is angry that you're in its house and it's going to knock over that bottle.

I'm like, okay, no. I think my issue is, I think if I were to lay out what I believe, it's that I believe everything is possible, but I don't adamantly believe in anything specifically, right? And what often happens is a crazy thing will happen, right? And I'll, in a second, I'll tell you, like, I've talked about it before, but I'll tell you, like, I had a string of weird instances

that happened like a few years ago. But something will happen, like, right? Like you'll hear like a person talking in a house or something, or like, you'll hear noises in a house and people will be like, oh my God, that's the ghost of this person. And he's upset about this. And I'm like, you're jumping to all these conclusions, right? Like it's always, oh, that's for sure a ghost. I'm like, no, that's a noise. And you don't know

what it's coming from. That could be a million things. Right. And like reading up about schizophrenia, which is probably one of my greatest fears, developing schizophrenia terrifies me because I was reading a thing where a guy was talking about like, yeah, how it started off for me is in the corner of certain of rooms, there would be a person standing there with no face and they just be standing there.

And I'm just like, well, if that's awful, like that's a ghost story for like, but I'm like, cause in, in instances where things have happened in my past, I'm like, could that have been a ghost? Yes. Could that also be?

And using the term is my mind playing tricks on me is sounding like you're making this up, whatever. It's like, no, everything that you see is not what's actually in front of you. It's your brain's perception of it. This is a re like a re-imagining, a recreation of what's in front of you by your brain if it gets something wrong you will see hear feel everything a thing that's not there it's very possible so i guess that's my mindset but with saying that i believe it's possible that

all sorts of crazy stuff is out there like possible yeah that's how i feel too is like i just say like oh i believe in ghosts but like i've just had a couple of experiences um and also just like the thought creeps me out but i'm never gonna go campaign that ghosts really exist like because in actuality it doesn't affect my everyday life if i lived in a house that i thought was haunted you bet your sweet ass I'm moving out tomorrow. But yeah, that's how I feel. It could be ghosts. And I used to love watching those reality shows of like Ghost Hunters and Ghost Hunters International, which I was confused about because I'm like, the ghost doesn't speak English.

So how is he saying? Well, now you're getting into very specific ghost logic. My sister and I always talked about when we were like teenagers, if our planned careers failed, we would just become paranormal investigators together. I love that. But also, I don't really believe it's a thing. So I guess it's going to be the Scully and Mulder. That's a person who should be a paranormal investigator, someone who doesn't necessarily believe in it. Sure. Because if you believe in it, you'll see all the connections and be like, oh, yeah, it's for sure a ghost.

Well, it also doesn't make for good entertainment when you're a paranormal investigator and then you're like, but no. Probably not. It's probably just a rat.

You just walk into a house, that's bull crap. No, not true. Yet another instance of wind. Join us next week. Wind strikes again. Wind investigators. Join us next week. Wind strikes again. Wind investigators.

That's pretty cool. That is pretty sick. It's that movie Tornado. Tell us your ghost stories. Yeah. Okay. All right. Yeah, nerd.

Tell us your stories. Yeah, this happened when I was about like 18, 19, and I was living alone here in LA. This is like shortly after my mom moved back, back home. So I was just finally doing my own thing out here. And I lived in this, uh, this apartment that had a one bedroom with a loft. So it was a big, tall apartment, a spiral staircase that went up to this loft. And, uh, I, I think it was generally new apartment complex, like nothing weird. It's not like moved in and they're like, Oh yeah, up to this loft. And I think it was generally new apartment complex, like nothing weird. It's not like moved in and they're like, oh, yeah, welcome to this apartment.

Someone died here. Just like nothing, nothing like that. So and I had been there for a couple of years. Everything had been fine. And then over the course of like literally it was like a month or two, a bunch of weird stuff happened then. And then it was done. So one of the, I'll do it gradually of like least creepy to creepy, right?

So one day I was working at my computer and I'm sitting there typing and I have a sliding glass door. This is up in the loft, sliding glass door next to me. And I'm typing and all of a sudden right on the window right next to me, just bam. And, uh, like something smashes right up against right where like my face is. And I look over and there's a bird lying on the ground, a pretty big size bird. It had flown straight into the window, which I know this is not necessarily, this is rather normal.

This is like I said, I'm starting with the... I'm not hooked, Shane. The bird's laying on the ground. I thought it's dead. All of a sudden, after a second, it gets up and it just looks at me. And it stays there for like a minute just looking at me. And he's like, nevermore! And it just flies away. Nevermore!

And I was like, okay, that was weird. That was just weird, like a bird... Okay. And it wasn't... There's no way the bird thought that this was more space, right? Like it flew right into this building. But it wanted to fight you. Yeah, I think I pissed off birds.

There was another time where I was out on my patio and standing out there and I see a hummingbird like a ways off. And then all of a sudden it stops and it flies from very far away all the way up. And I'm not kidding, a couple inches from my face and it stops right in front of me. And I'm literally like looking into the eyes of this hummingbird. I'm kind of like stepping back.

It keeps kind of following me. And then it does a perfect, like flies perfectly around my head, back to the front of my face and then flies off. And I'm once again, like I said, are you a bird?

I just think like that's, that's very possible. I mean, we all believe in birds, Shane. You don't have to convince us of it. I'm not going to believe these birds. I know that very well.

Uh, uh, it was just weird. I'm just like, that's just weird. Right. And that's, that's in the same month.

I've never had instances where it with animals like that, just weird right that and that's that's in the same month i've never had instances where it with animals like that other than that month then one night i am i open up my sliding glass door it's like 10 or 11 p.m and i'm at the top of this building right no nothing above me i open my sliding glass door and like it's right next to my ear of coin flips it sounds like someone literally flips a coin right next to my ear of coin flips. It sounds like someone literally flips a coin right next to my ear and right in front of me, a dime falls and it lands at my feet. And I'm just, I look down, I see this dime and I look, I look up, I look around, there is nothing, no one. And I just slowly close the sliding glass door and go back inside. Cause I'm like, I don't know what that

was. It's it. Just saying my experience, it sounded like someone reached out their hand right next to my ear and flipped a coin. And like I said, it fell. I saw it fall from the sky and land on right at my feet. I was like, okay,

that's weird. And then the instance that literally ruined me for a couple months. I didn't tell anybody about this for months because it was so scary. I was... So this bird. So this bird, right? So all the birds. So I'm sitting on my couch and I'm watching TV in the downstairs area.

All the lights are on in my house. I'm watching TV. It's, once again, it's like, it's late at night. All the windows are on in my house. I'm watching TV. It's once again, it's like it's late at night. All the windows are closed. The freeway is right next to my house and it really muffles the sound of it. So no, like I had experienced people yelling outside. I've experienced all sorts of noises but it went on for a good, it felt like five to ten seconds of just a grown man yelling so loud and angrily. And I'm talking, I'll step away. It was like this. It started off almost like a, ooh, like I thought someone was peering into my window and like messing with me being like, ooh, like, and I saw it starts and it goes like, and it just, it just went for so long. Long enough for me to stand up from my couch, look at every window in my apartment as this yell is muffling my TV, which is not, the sound is not coming from. I'm looking at my window, which it's a 16 foot space from my window down to the patio of the apartment below me. I'm looking

everywhere, nothing. And then it just stops. And I mean, it was so loud. It was so loud that I'm like, someone's in my apartment yelling. And I started at first, I was like, oh, a friend of mine is messing with me or something. And then by the end, I was like oh a friend of mine is messing with me or something and then by the end I was like that was the worst experience of my life and I sat down at my couch and I sat there for two hours just like not sure what to do because I was like was that coming from the loft was that I couldn't tell where it came from and eventually I like went up to my loft and like kind of like slowly looked around everywhere and there was nothing. And I had, I have, I have no explanation for it.

But it scared the living garbage out of me so much that for months I was just kind of like weirded out in that apartment. Do you think it would have affected you the same way if you hadn't had those instances that you spoke about? I don't think those had an effect on it. Like, I think. Because you were maybe already a little on edge about like, that was weird. No, I don't think so, honestly, because those other ones were kind of every time they happened, I just chalked them up to being like, oh, it's just weird. The only reason I mentioned them now is because it all happened in an instance.

But back then, I don't think that happened. And I was like, oh, but the bird stuff. It's just more than I'm like something. I don't know what was up, you know, but it was just trippy. It was just really, really trippy. And I've had stuff happen that I more immediately chalk up to like, I'm like, okay, that was clearly my brain, right? Like in that same apartment, there was a time I woke up and I rolled over and I opened my eyes and there was a woman standing next to my bed. And a woman staring at me.

And I just kind of like eventually rolled away, closed my eyes and looked back and she was gone. And I'm like, I think that's me waking up in the morning. Like a night terror situation. And my brain still is. gone. And I'm like, I think that's me waking up in the morning. Like a night terror situation. And my brain still is like, it was less, I wasn't scared. Like I was just like that. But the scream, it was like, I was like, I don't know. I just don't know. Interesting.

And that's all I can chalk it up to. But, you know, I do think, do I think the brain is capable of making that sound internally? Yeah. Do I think I'm capable of, I'm actively searching for answers on that one. I don't know. So I chalk it up to, I literally don't know. The only thing I can think of is like, if you've ever been to a science museum and they have that thing where like, there's this, it's kind of like a, like a concave metal thing all the way on one side of the room. And then they have another one all the way on the other side of the room. And

you can stand next to it and be like, Hey, how's it going? And it sounds like somebody is right next to it. Yeah. Somehow, some way, odds are you will find yourself in a situation where that just happens to be the setup you're in without realizing it. So I think at the very least for the coin flip sound too, because I remember your apartment and when you're in a high up area of a a building like a two-story apartment building and there's lots of balconies everywhere sound bounces in interesting ways when there's nothing to stop it other than the like patio doors behind you and

stuff like that I could I could definitely see someone on a different balcony flipping a coin seeing how high they could do it it's sounding like it's right next to you and then it landing in front of you heavy coincidence for sure but yeah otherwise, I don't know. It's definitely weird. Super weird. You know, a lot of people I think would immediately be like, that was a ghost. There was a ghost in there. And I'm like, I have no proof of anything

other than I heard a grown man yell for a while at me, it sounded like. I've got one I'm comfortable sharing. Okay. Yeah. So my dad got in a really bad accident when I was younger, like 11 or 12, I think. And so he was like in a physical rehab facility. And so one of those days he was like off doing a group thing or like a physical exercise.

I'm not sure what. But when he gets back, the receptionist says like uh hey uh your mom called and he was like what and she was like yeah and he's like i don't think so because my grandma had passed at that time and uh the lady was like yeah it was like i mean it was real staticky but i mean i heard it was an older lady on the other end german accent and like that's my grandma for sure and so he was like uh she passed away like a year ago around this time and so uh that receptionist quit but um but like the fact that she was like yeah european accent you know staticky it was just like oh that's interesting and the only thing is just like you know she just

said tell him his mother called or something which is you know but again that's that's second hand and i don't know it's it and if it was staticky maybe she misheard something i don't know but again that's that's second hand and i don't know it's it and if it was staticky maybe she misheard something i don't know but that's just something that's in the family like huh all right you know so that's sort of what i mean about like i don't know what it is but i don't know if there's necessarily like there's a ghost haunting the doorway because it died in the doorway but you know well when i was younger uh i used to do a lot of community theater. And so in my town in Wyoming. No, I'm kidding. I do that all the time.

That's the scary part. That's all I did. In my town in Wyoming, we would do plays in this like super old theater. And the super old theater was, of course, haunted. And it used to be like a candy store. And it used to be like a brothel. And it used to be a lot of different things. And so the first floor of the theater

was the theater and then it had a staircase going up and it had a second and third floor that wasn't renovated yet so it was like real haunted looking and so me and a group of friends and the group of friends were like very into ghost stuff, like paranormal stuff, Ouija boards, like all that. So of course, like, you know, 15, 16 year old Sarah was like, yeah, that sounds fun. And so they were like, hey, we're going to go like talk to ghosts tonight at the theater. And I was like, cool, I'm down. So never, never I would now.

So we went up and we, and there was probably like five or six of us and we we sat at a table and i guess you know one way that you can do like a budget ouija board is you just get like a glass cup and you turn it upside down so the opening's like on the table and then you have people put their fingers on it and you can talk to the spirits that way and you can almost like designate a person to be yes or no so you can ask like yes or no questions and the cups will go to those people so but this particular night they had asked the spirits to just make the cup go in a circle on the table. And so everyone like put their fingers on the bottom of the cup that was facing up. And the cup was like going in circles around the table in little

circles, circles, circles. There's five or six of us, just one finger, the index finger on the cup. The cup was going so fast that people's fingers were falling off of it. It was rotating so quickly across the table that people couldn't keep their fingers on it. And at the same time, while it was going in a circle, the cup itself was rotating as well. And so people's fingers can't do that. Like if you have your finger on a cup, you can't make it like go across in a circle on the table while also rotating so that was super freaky to me did it ever at any point did but someone's finger was always on it i mean yeah everyone was like trying to keep their finger

on it but it was going extremely fast and it was also rotating was there any person and this is obviously a way back memory but is did everybody's finger fall off at least once or were there a couple people who were standard on there the whole time yeah i don't know but either way that's freaky it didn't freak me out like how fast it was going because i'm like oh yeah maybe someone just has a really sticky finger and can just go in circles fast it It was the rotating bit that was like, because like even if that person, let's say a person was making that cup go in a circle, for them to also rotate it at the same time is like impossible,

nearly impossible. Or maybe we just had like a magician on our hands. Yes, another secret magician strikes again. Uh-oh, secret magicians, they're out there. I've been found. Super big setup for that one lame trick. That's interesting. That was interesting, and we also did a couple of yes and no's,

and it was like we were shooting this little short film or whatever. Do you still have the footage? No. I want to say it's burned forever no so this girl was like the lead girl and i was playing the best friend and then there is she was also dating like the lead guy who i also previously had dated and so it's a little awkward. And so, of course, I felt like self-conscious during the, every time we'd all hang out. And the ghost, they asked the ghost to determine a person to be yes and a person to be no. She was yes and I was no.

And I was like, oh, shit, the ghosts see my insecurity. That's funny. That's hilarious. So, you know, I'm not going to go debate that ghosts exist with that story, but it was just a little odd. Right. Can I pitch a video now, since you just gave me a great idea? I want us to do a ghost makeover

because that ghost, like, saw your insecurities and was just like, oh, honey, I know exactly what you need. Paranormal eye. Paranormal eye. So I really want, like, us to sit down on the Ouija board and be like, what kind of fashion choice? They're just like, oh, don't even worry about it. I know exactly what you mean. Bergdorf Goodmans?

Wow, I've never even... Do we even have one of those around here? Saks Fifth Avenue? That's quite expensive, Ghost. Do you have anything in my budget? This is a Beverly Hills ghost right here. Sweetheart, we're taking you to Rodeo. I'm like, oh, I know.

I'm going to make for a really good Ghost. If Ghosts are real, I'm going to be an insane ghost. Hell yeah. Like, that's my issue. I'm going to be a nice ghost. In some ways, I feel like there'd be more comedic ghosts out there, like ghosts that are just messing with us. Maybe they're all funny. Maybe they are all just trying to mess with us.

Because I don't hear about people getting killed by ghosts. I mean. Because they become ghosts themselves. Like, Amityville horror and debate, like, really happened and was, like, a ghost, like, haunting. I don't... Did people... People died from the ghost? Yeah, like, a family died.

Oh, snap. Like, they know for sure a ghost killed them. Well, the guy might have had, like, I don't know, but, like, mental disabilities or schizophrenia or something. I don't know anything about the story. Yeah, the dad killed and then... He, like, heard voices and voices and like killed his family. And then everyone that like moved into the house, or is that just Ryan Reynolds,

moved into the house would also kill their family. He was in a movie. Amityville Horror. Chalking it up the gas leak. Next question. Oh, man. I like to be like politely skeptical. Like nobody likes the person that's just like,

no, it's not real. But at the same time, if you offer a thing where maybe it was this, some people get really mad where they're like, can't you just let a thing be a thing? And you're like, well, let's meet in the middle. Let's discuss. I instinctively have an issue whenever someone is like, this is 100% reality.

This is 100% the case. I have that issue with anything. Well, you know, memory is not a foolproof thing. So, you know, I think it's healthy to debate it. However, you know, read your audience. Maybe they don't want to

hear the other side. Yeah, but then it's like, you know, that's not fair because that's not a conversation. If someone's just like, this thing happened and you are required to not offend them and be like uh huh okay wow that's crazy that's neat like that's not fun. I guess the reality is I've met people like that

who are just like I'm right always and it's just like alright we don't have to talk anymore. We don't have to be friends Yeah I'm just here to receive your words. Because there's so many people like that and it's just like you're right it's not a conversation you get to hear your words. Because there's so many people like that. And it's just like, you're right. It's not a conversation. You get to hear them tell you stuff. There's definitely an irony to me being skeptical, though, when, according to the story from my mom, my life was saved by, like, paranormal stuff.

Oh, yeah, tell us that. Because I drowned when I was 18 months old. My parents were on the opposite side of the house. I snuck out. I was a little baby. I snuck out and I fell in months old. My parents were on the opposite side of the house. I snuck out. I was a little baby. I snuck out and I fell in the pool. And mid-argument, my mom said she heard a voice, a man's voice say my name. And she immediately ran and saw that I was not where I was supposed to be and found me in the backyard and everything.

That was Jesus. Jesus saved you. And Jesus saves us all. This is a Christian podcast all of a sudden right well I don't know because you're also saying Jesus is a ghost

therefore I don't know if anyone's happy about that I mean technically a holy spirit holy ghost yeah I think it was

the ghost of what do you got I don't have any joke I was trying to think of some joke. Yeah, I have no idea. No idea. My mom doesn't either.

She didn't come to any conclusions of what that voice was. She's never tried. She's just like, I heard a man's voice say your name, and I immediately. Well, you're here because of it. Yeah. So there is an irony of if there is stuff, that's what saved my life. It goes back, and I truly believe that could have happened, but it goes back to like what you were talking about,

how the mind perceives things or whatever. And also hearsay from what is now like 26 years ago. It's like, why did you think to about your son? You know? And then it was just like, I heard a voice. It's like, all right, the fact is she heard a voice. You don't know if it was internal or if she actually heard it either way. I'm glad you're here. It's just, all right, the fact is she heard a voice. You don't know if it was internal or if she actually heard it. Either way, I'm glad you're here.

It's just, you know, you always have to question. I don't know what my point is. Ignore me. But also, yeah, I mean, I think like some things don't have to be fully explained. That's fair. In life, you know, there's been a lot of coincidence in my life and little moments here and there that i like were very important moments and maybe i don't have a direct explanation but i'll take it as it is and that's just the weird part of life that's the main point it is to you what it is to you and if it

however you process that that happened whether it was a ghost or a voice from beyond or like divine intervention or whatever or just coincidence It doesn't really matter. The thing happened as it happened. Well, and trying to come up with a rational explanation is jumping to the same conclusions, right? Like, for instance, with Ouija boards, one could say, well, clearly one person was moving it and they were just lying. But it's like, I'm jumping to that conclusion too.

I have zero proof of that. Because that's what you generally believe. Either. Yeah, that's what I believe. And maybe that's what I want that conclusion too. I have zero proof of that. Because that's what you generally believe. Either. Yeah, that's what I believe and maybe that's what I want to believe too. But also if that's fun for them and they're not hurting anyone. Yeah, it's totally a harmless thing.

I think my only thing against Ouija boards is like most of them are manufactured by Milton Bradley. So it's literally like, it's as much of a spiritual conduit as Monopoly. So, or Parker Brothers, I don't know. So if you get one from like New Orleans and like a voodoo shop or something and it's custom handmade, I'm just like, dope.

That thing's probably legit. But if it looks like a chutes and ladders, I'm like, I don't know. I don't know about that one. Yeah. I have a lot of theories about ghosts and stuff. Like, I think it's fun to think about what possible things it could be one that i often think about is like when you have like an old tv with like antennas on the top and channels like kind of fade in and out so like you'll be watching

something and then like you'll get a little bit of a blip of something else i often think like well if there's a bunch of dimensions and stuff it's possible that and it could it could even be your brain perceiving, like what if you're perceiving something from somewhere else for a quick second? I mean, that's a, that's a possibility that you're not even seeing something that's dead. You're seeing something that's alive, but just not here. Boom. Interesting. When I was younger, I used to think that when my foot fell asleep, that it was like, uh,

my foot would turn into like the TV static. Cause that's how it felt like. Oh, that's actually really cool. So I would rip off my sock and be like, is it? No. I had dreams about TV static for the longest time. Like it was always like things were like it was pulling me into the TV. Like if ever I had like a dream about a TV, like I had nightmares for most of my childhood.

It was rough. But it would literally be like someone I loved or cared about like in the TV and then it like wasn't them, but it just looked like them and they were like trying to pull me in and I would like get sucked in forever. It was neat.

What do you think is the worst nightmare you guys have ever had? Well, one time, have you guys ever lucid dream? Yeah. Where you know you're in a dream? Only a couple times. Okay.

So one of the very first times, this is embarrassing. Okay. So one of the very first times that I was like, remember lucid dreaming. I was in the middle of a dream and I was told like, look for a light switch in your dream and try to switch it on and off. And if the light doesn't react how you think it should in the switch, then you know you're in a lucid dream. Interesting.

I like how that's the reason you know it's a... Well, you have to pick one thing. You have to have that control. If you think about it often during your waking life, then it'll be natural for you to do it in a dream. And that's how you lucid dream. So somehow I got into this lucid dream. And so I was like, Sarah, this is a dream.

Like, stay sleeping. What do we want to do? We can control it. And I it and i was like oh i'm gonna make it a sexual dream let's do this who who who let's go down the line who do we want to do this with then all of a sudden a bunch of fucking zombies burst through the door and i forgot i was in a dream and then i had to fight the zombies that's really tough and it was so disappointing. And it was so scary. I have a lot of zombie vampires. I just wanted to smooch Paul Rudd.

Now I got to fight zombies. Haven't you seen Warm Bodies? I'm assuming zombies can be romantic. Yeah. No, I don't think so. I'd prefer someone alive. I would always have dreams that like, like I said, it would be someone I trusted or cared about

and then it like wasn't them. so I remember being a kid and having dreams where like um I was like if you imagine like a giant peg board where like you put a string or fabric on it would be almost like a loom but I was being like stitched to it by my mom with like there were dead animals all around me also being stitched to the board yeah that was par for the course for dream Damien for a long time. Holy God. And then I would, like, dream that, like, I'd watch a friend of mine get stuck in a trash compactor and, like, see the whole thing. Yeah, that was.

My goodness. That was young Damien there. Damn. Yeah. Nightmares suck. I think one time I had a dream that, like, my mom got sentenced to jail. Oh, dang. And I, like, woke up crying.

That's sad. And it was nothing, like, that intense. that was like that and it was nothing like that intense that's so intense yeah stuff like that but i would also get really like i don't know i would get kind of like especially when i was younger like really people say prophetic i think it's you know we read into a lot but like dreams that are pretty specific about what would happen the next day which is interesting like i had a dream i was in the car and my mom and my dad was like driving and he turned around and said like hey Hey, just so you know, I'm not coming home for a while. I've got to stay out for a few more days. And I was like, Oh, cool. Understand. So then when I was

driving with my mom the next day, my dad was on a business trip at the time. So when I was driving with my mom the next day, she turns around and is like, Oh, by the way, your, your father called, he's going to be on his business trip for another few days. And I'd be like, Oh yeah, I know. And she'd be like, what? And I'd be like, yeah, oh, no, sorry. That was a dream. And so that's not that. He's a psychic alien. But the dream stuff I think is, I don't know.

If I do believe in anything metaphysical or whatever, it's stuff having to do with dreams. Cause it's like, you're going to tell me that 50% of the earth's population all goes to sleep all at once. And there's no way anything can connect ever. Like you were talking about with wavelengths and, you know. Yeah, that's a good point.

Interesting. I'd have a lot of, I didn't have too many. I don't dream that often. I never have. I heard wearing socks to bed helps you dream more. I'm never going to do that because I'm not a psycho. I think wearing socks to bed is insane. Why would you do that?

Because your feeties are cold and you want to dream. There's a blanket. You have a blanket. Do you go to bed naked? Why are you wearing clothes? I do sometimes. I wear shorts.

Yeah. There's a blanket. I don't know. I think I'm so eager to get socks off at the end of the day. Oh, I hate it. I don't like socks.

That's why I'm like, why would you wear it through the night? How do you wear socks too much? And I try to tell him he needs to let his feet dry. He's going to get gangrene. I feel like if I wore socks to bed, I'd end up having a ton of dreams about my feet being stuck in mud or something like that. That's the dreams that I would get.

Yeah, at least it's something. Or you wake up and it's really mud and you're like, where did this come from? Ghosts. I would have dreams. I remember one nightmare I had where I like was in my house I walked to my room and then a doll because I'm terrified of dolls

a doll like a ventriloquist dummy peeks its head out from underneath my bed and it was just like hey Shane and I was like oh and I go to like I go to leave my but now my bedroom door is shut and it's just like

it said something like you can't get help now. Like you're in here with me. And I was like, ah, then just ends. But the dreams that always mess me up are the ones that are like kind of harmless. Just like, it would be like a Friday. But my dream, it's like, it's like, oh yeah, tomorrow's Monday. And then I'd wake up and be like, ah, no, no.

I have those dreams too. I have those dreams that I'm in a play and I don't know the lines. And I'm like freaking out. For me, it's always a play that I had been in before where it was like, don't you remember when you were nine and you were in Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

and you, don't you remember all your lines? You're going on. Like you should be able to improv it. Isn't dream talk like, it's fun to talk about when you're talking about it but do other people find it interesting i always thought that like when you're like oh my god i had the craziest dream last night i think they're often crazy for you like i mean everybody has like really crazy dreams that are interesting but for the most part

i think you just have to accept dream logic and then you get on the same wavelength with that person like we've all okay this is going to be familiar to everybody. Even if you haven't had that exact dream, you're going to be like, okay, so I was in this like room, right? But it was also like a tree house and there was this baby there and I knew it was my father. Like it didn't speak to me as my father, but I knew that baby was my father. So like once you accept that kind of mindset, you can understand someone's dream. My mom and I used to have a dream dictionary. Really?

So we'd be like, I'd be like, mom, I had a dream about horses. And she'd be like, looking through the book. And she's like, that means you're going to be rich. Everything is like, you're going to be rich. But it's like, I don't fully believe that. I just think it's just something fun, like my Zodiac. Like, I'll just look at my Zodiac and I'm like, oh, something. I am going to be profitable in business.

What does that mean? I am trustworthy, but don't cross me. Wow. I actually do believe in like the symbolism in dreams because I think it's your brain organizing all your thoughts and stuff. And there is your brain does interpret things in certain ways. So and I think it's depending on culture. I think that's why like everything does mean everything like, oh, a horse means you're going to die, but also going to be rich.

Yeah. Like, because it depends on like a culture will determine the symbolism of certain things. And if you're raised in that culture, you then see it that way. For sure. What language your mind speaks. Like my mind thinks in English. So it would also think in specific cultural terms of like something good is coming. Oh, horses are here as you know. Yeah. I did have one more interesting dream that I just remembered

that was like in that same vein. I remember with an ex ex-girlfriend, I had a dream one time that she was with another guy in a park and she was like wearing a very specific outfit and they were like kissing and I like woke up all jealous and all that stuff. So the next time I saw her, she was like, Hey, I have to tell you something. Um, an ex-boyfriend reached out and like, we went for a walk together just to talk things out and he tried to kiss me. Um, and I didn't let him do that. But, um, you know, I just feel like I have to be honest that it happened.

And I was just like, Oh snap. I feel like I kind of sort of saw this. Were you wearing your yellow sweater? And she just goes like, and like backs away. Damien's a psychic alien. No, I'm not. It's dreams. Hashtag Damien's a psychic alien.

What? But I like, I remember her like kind of freaking out when I was like, yeah, were you in your yellow sweater? And I was like, it was fine. I know you didn't.

Stop. But it was just a weird moment of like, huh. So I am going to be mad at you. Yeah. I always dream that Sarah's mad at me. You'll find the thing I hid. Sarah's mad at everyone.

No, I'm not. That's mad at me. You'll find the thing I hid. Sarah's mad at everyone. No, I'm not. That's really crazy. That's insane. Because I was just going to say about, like, have you guys ever had girlfriends wake up mad at you because you cheated on them in the dream? Because it's a pretty common thing. This one, she really did it.

Yeah, and I think Finnerty, too. I've had a couple of those dreams, but I would say I had a dream where Claudio forgot my birthday. And boy, was I angry when I woke up. Claudio! What? Sara! Sara Wario.

100%. Sara Wario. For the past week, Damien and I can now, we just keep saying. Sara Weedle. Sara Wario. Sara Wario. Sara Wario. That'sario. Sarawaluigi. That's great.

Oh my God. I was actually legitimately mad at him for a bit. I've never lived it. I don't get dreams where I get angry. But I don't, I didn't, like, I'm not the type of person that, like, has a dream that, like, he cheated on me and then I'm like, you cheated on me. Like, cause that's my mom and dad have been through that. Oh no.

And my dad's like, Claudia, have you ever experienced, but, uh, for some reason, him not saying happy birthday to me really like hurt me. When's your birthday? Just so I know.

It's in February. Okay. I forget. Okay. Yeah. 16th. I don't know. 7th.

Oh, we'll make sure to forget. I'll, I'll say it on the 16th. To ruin your birthday. I did have an ex-boyfriend one time. Didn't say happy birthday to me until like 7 p.m. Oh, no.

The day of my birthday. That's off topic, but is that, that's fine for the most part. Oh, buddy. Full boyfriend? Unless it's a boyfriend or girlfriend. It was a boyfriend. It was a boyfriend. Okay, but I'm saying like in general, like if it's just a friend, how bad is it if you're like.

Friend is fine. I think boyfriend, girlfriend. Any time, any time. I would like you to text me at 9 a.m. On my birthday. Show me that you care, Shay. Show me. Okay, I'll remember.

But- Oh, you'll probably be in the office. I'll see you. I'm not coming in on my birthday. That's true. It's my birthday. Yeah. When's your birthday?

The 23rd of November. Yeah, it's not far from now. Oh, one month away from Matt Robb's. Oh, snap. Oh, hey. Matt Robb has a birthday? Matt Robb was born? Apparently.

I thought he just emerged. Emerged from the earth. Fully grown. There's like some, that like 90s style, like purple and green painting you always saw on the side of cups. He just walked out of one one day and it's just like, yes, I'm the 80s, 90s boy. Let's wrestle. No, he just walked out of a TV playing Nickelodeon as a full man.

Oh, my God. Yikes. It was like double dare, the person. Yeah, that is him. What other things scare us? Like, is there anything, like, because we talked about ghosts. I love clowns the same. You actually do love clowns and you have the scariest story about a clown.

Yeah. That is not scary to you. And you have the scariest story about a clown. Yeah. That is not scary to you. By which you mean adorable. What? So here's my thought on clowns real quick. They're a creature. Not a person. They're a creature that exists.

I don't understand the point of clowns. I really don't get it. It exists entirely to make you laugh. But the cultural zeitgeist is such that they are scary and that we don't like them. Well, did that start with like an actual clown that like murdered children? Look, ignoring John Wayne Gacy,

ignoring Pennywise, all the other ones, most clowns I've met haven't tried to kill me. I feel like most clowns are pointless. That's my opinion on it. My dream,

and I don't know if this will ever happen, but real clowns and real mimes coming on an episode of Try Not to Laugh. I would love that. That is my freaking dream. One time I saw a mime at Starbucks

and he had a Bluetooth earpiece in his ear and I was like, you're not allowed to use that. He was fully, fully made up, costume, mime, but he had a Bluetooth in and I was like, literally, you're allowed to FaceTime and mime out what's going on in your life. You are not allowed to use a Bluetooth in and I was like, literally, you can FaceTime. This is an oxymoron. You're allowed to FaceTime and like,

mime out what's going on in your life. You are not allowed to use a Bluetooth. That's just your voice. Mimes are even less scary. Well, mimes aren't supposed to be scary.

You can't talk. Let's see if you can scream. And then you fight them. Anyway, your clown story. They haven't made a scary movie about mimes, huh? You fought a mime.

You almost fought a mime. I did almost fight a mime in the video recently. In the doll room. Where I faced my fear of dolls. They decided to put me in a mime. You almost fought a mime. I did almost fight a mime in the video recently. In the doll room. Where I faced my fear of dolls. They decided to put me in a hell box filled with creepy dolls. And there was a professional mime in a scarecrow outfit. And he slowly inched his way towards me for three minutes.

And, yeah, I threatened to fight him. And then as soon as he grabbed me, I gave up. Because he put you in an invisible box. Yeah, he put me in an invisible box and I was screwed. He lassoed me and I was like, no! So spooky clown story. I remember when I was like a teenager, I went up to our attic one time. It was kind of hard to get to the light right off the bat.

So I just had to grab something real quick near the entrance. And when I get up there, I hear from the other side this like music box style, like twinkly little music. And there's this clown doll that has like the crosses for eyes kind of deal. And it's playing that music and it's just kind of it rotates its head as it does it. Absolutely. And it's like it's so it's like a porcelain clown doll that also has like that aspect to it. And it's just chilling inside. And most people would have freaked out.

And my thought was sick, free clown doll. And it was it was in the middle of the attic and it. And a demon inside. And most people would have freaked out. And my thought was, sick, free clown doll. And it was in the middle of the attic and it started playing on its own. Yeah, but it wasn't full on playing. It was playing like every now and then because it was sort of like, you know, when it runs out of juice, but it's still going a little bit.

Damn it! So I grabbed it and I brought it down to my room and I'm like, this is dope. And it didn't kill me. And then you had nightmares! No, that's when they stopped. I think maybe Damien's psychic power comes from him befriending ghosts.

There we go. Like ghosts give signs and Damien's just like, oh yeah, this is cool. And they're like, thank God. Like everyone gets scared when we yell or leave clown dolls for them. We're just trying to make friends.

Thank you. Disclaimer, two disclaimers. One, I think that was a gift to my sister from a boyfriend like eight years prior so it was just chilling up there. Other disclaimer,

I'm not a psychic. I think if anyone tells you they're a psychic they're full of crap. There are fun compilations online called Damien is a Psychic. They are fun to watch

but they are You are an alien. I am an alien but here's my real fear though. I've gotten like Instagram DMs from people who are just like, hey, I think I'm like you. And I want to.

No. I want to. I don't know where to start. Can you tell me how to control what we have? And I'm like, nope, nope, nope. That's dangerous as hell. If someone thinks I have the answers to their psychic power, holy crap. No.

So that's my fear. That's why I put out this disclaimer. So what are the winning lottery numbers? I don't know. This sounds like someone, if someone was a psychic power. Holy crap. No. So that's my fear. That's why I put out this disclaimer. So what are the winning lottery numbers? I don't know. This sounds like someone, if someone was a psychic alien, this is what they would say. They'd be like,

please, I'm not. This is what they would say. But we need to stress that Damien is not an alien. He is not. He is not. An alien. I don't have the answers to.

I actually do have a question. So this psychic thing. God damn it. It's been going on for a long time. This is the first I've ever heard of it. Oh. Yeah, there's compilations online of... They've got a fair amount of views. So if I was a psychic, the thing I would definitely say is like, hey, you understand the power of it, so you'd want to say you weren't.

The thing, if I were a psychic, I wouldn't bring it up. I'm bringing it up saying, hey, don't mention it. Please. Also, like, our videos are edited. Maybe they just leave in the fun times when I say, I bet we'll roll a this number, and they edit out the others. Like, I don't know. Last question. How many times has it happened, like, the psychic

stuff? It's not psychic stuff. It's non-psychic stuff. Oh, man. It's... Damien's an alien. There are four compilation videos that I know of. Damien's psychic. That's a lot of compilations. None of us have had compilations. I have screaming compilations.

Yeah, that's the same thing. Are you a banshee? Because banshees are known for their screams. You get DMs of people asking if you're psychic. I get DMs just being like, you suck. Shut up. Hey, you little dork. I'm going to beat you up. I'm like, no, don't beat me up.

You're like, guys, I have to accept this DM. Hey, sorry. Please do not beat me up. My dad keeps making Instagram accounts. It sucks. You little dork. I'm like, don't stop it, dad. Stop making Instagram accounts.

That's funny. Oh, yeah. But no, Damien's not. He's not psychic. He's not. He's not psychic. He's not. He's not psychic. I hate you a lot. God.

Clowns are dope. Why doesn't anyone think clowns are dope? I just don't. I just don't get them. I don't get clowns. I think they're, you know, it used to be a cool thing. Now, maybe not. What's up?

It feels like it's old school. It's old school. It's Victorian. Like, my grandma used to be a cool thing. Now, maybe not. What's up? It feels like it's old school. It's old school. It's Victorian era. Like, my grandma used to collect, like, clown candy. Victorian era people probably pissed their pants at clowns. They're like, oh, my God. Well, because they were, like, the stand-up and self-defense. He did this thing where he tripped.

What? He did what? He tripped. He had big shoes on, so he tripped because they were too big. Get this. They're too high. Pie. Pie. Pie sitting right there.

Oh, my God. I would have never thought of that. Why was there a pie on the ground? I don't know. He had big shoes on. Oh, get this. He had tears, like fake tears. Oh, my God.

Like he was sad? Yeah, like he was sad. That's hilarious. Did he have a ridiculous Italian name? Pagliacci. Oh, my God. That's so funny. The sad crying clown.

Yeah. Anyways, it was great. So what's up with you? Well, my whole family died of scarlet fever. That sucks, man. I'm sorry to hear that. Oh my God. You know what you could use? A little bit of Pogliacci. But doctor, I am scarlet fever. And that's how

you botch that fable. Dang it. Oh Christ. The two people in the audience are going to get that joke, but I'm making that for you. I can say some stuff that I'm scared of. Okay. You know what? This is a fear I've not talked about, I don't think.

Hurting people. One of... Yeah. Which is real. Everyone has that fear, Shane. I know, but, like, it's the worst. I would rather get hurt. I'd rather...

Hurt them emotionally. I'd rather die than, die than accidentally severely hurt someone. I couldn't live with it. You just can't live like that. But what about ghosts? Yeah, but what about ghosts? So when I was young, actually one of my biggest fears, and it was a completely irrational fear because I lived in Arizona,

one of my biggest fears was twisters, tornadoes. So I watched twister. I watched twister and it ruined my life. And so anytime there was a slight storm, I'm talking like a sprinkle of rain. I'd be like, is that a twister? Do we didn't get,

do we don't have a basement? They are terrifying. In the bathtub. They're really scary. I've never, I lived in North Dakota and they had, they, we would have like many emergencies. We had them in Georgia all the time.

I've never experienced one. Well, so one time leaving the Denver airport, not a serious one, but a tornado formed. Yeah, a lot of wind. But it was just like, it was a harmless tornado. I'm talking like a tornado. The big ones scare the crap out of me. That scares it because it's just like, oh my God, you just can't do anything about it. I think weather events like that in general are super scary.

See, that's my biggest thing. We were just talking before the podcast about, we had a mini earthquake last night and it's like freaking scary every time. It's super scary. See, that's my biggest thing. We were just talking before the podcast, like, about, we had a mini earthquake last night, and it's, like, freaking scary every time. It's really scary. Earthquakes don't scare me for some reason. They should. They scare me. This was the first one that scared me.

Really? Really. Because, I mean, a couple months ago when we had that series of them. We had that big one, yeah. Mark and I were in a restaurant, and, like, everybody's fleeing, and the scary thing about that is, like, people running and stamping over each other. While Mark and I are just at the table being like, yeah, this is going to pass. The lights above us are swinging.

I was seeing a movie. Yeah. And I didn't get up. Everybody else didn't. I'm not missing this. Yeah. Ours was right by the mall. Last night, it was not the biggest magnitude we've experienced in recent years, but it

was way closer than it usually is. And it's the first time I've ever been like, oh, got it. Earthquakes. Because usually it's just like jostling you around but this was the first one where like both my roommate and I checked to see if a car had crashed into our building that's what we thought happened too because it literally was like one hit

it was like boom it was literally like boom it was like whoa guys I slept like a baby last night and honestly I think maybe I woke up and then that earthquake rocked me back to sleep you must have been an easy baby to deal with and be like good night that's all it takes I think maybe I woke up and then that earthquake rocked me back to sleep. You must have been an easy baby to deal with and be like, good night.

That's all it takes. Just body slam me into the bed. I'm just like, I'm like passed out. No, not how you handle children. I've slept through almost all the earthquakes. Like there was the one a couple months ago where I was in a movie and the earthquakes are happening.

Everyone started to get up and I was just like, no, this is a good part. What movie was it? It was like, I think it was a Marvel movie. And I was like, I'm not, I'm not getting up at it. No, I got to watch this. I got to stay for this. It has to have been Endgame, right?

I think it might've been Endgame. Cause I was like, no way am I leaving. Yeah. Or no, no, it was Spider-Man. Oh. And it was during, it was during like the epic final battle that I was like, I'm, I'm staying and it made it better. And it actually, ironically, the last

earthquake that I'd felt previous to that was when I was seeing Dark Knight forever ago in an earthquake cabin. They've happened in movie theaters, weirdly. I was watching a play one time at USC and it was like this classic tale of like Herculean heroes and all that stuff. So we were on these

bleachers to watch it, right? And it was this point where Hercules was like coming out to the audience and was like, and I'm going to go down into the underworld and bring her back from Hades. Like it was this big monologue and the bleachers start to rock. And at first I'm like, wow,

they put in a hydraulic system for Hercules booming voice or something. This is really cool. And then later everyone's like, no, dumbass, that was an earthquake. Oh no. I was like, I'm from Georgia. I don't know what that is.

Yeah. Another thing I just want to, I've been wanting to tell this story for a while. Please do. Um, another thing that sometimes I love animals, but sometimes they scare me because I think all animals are smarter than we think.

Oh, and, uh, there's also a segment I kind of want to start doing is, uh, stuff I've learned. And so this is Shane's learning time. We'll figure out a better title. Octopus

are geniuses. And we really underestimate it. And there's this story I heard a couple years ago that it haunts me to this day. Because I'm just like, this is how smart stuff is. So it was in an aquarium in Dallas, I believe. And there was a octopus

tank. And across the way like on the other side of the building was a tank that had like smaller sharks in it. Like probably like small nurse sharks or whatever. After every morning they would come in, there was often a missing shark from that tank. Like sharks were slowly disappearing. And they're just like, I don't know what's going on. There's nothing in this tank that can eat them so one night uh someone comes in in the middle of the night to like for some reason they were checking on something or whatever and they found the octopus on the floor crawling back to its tank from the shark tank and that means that it was smart enough

to learn the schedule of the workers to know that if it was caught, it would it would get in trouble to know that it's got to wait for people to leave to crawl out of its tank, go across the way to go eat stuff. And then knowing it had to go back to its own tank. Ocean stuff actually scares the crap out of you. It really does. How would it even know the idea of getting in trouble? There's a video of people. They saved this octopus. It was beached.

They saved it. They put it back in the ocean. The next day, they came back to that same spot. The octopus was there. There's video of this. It swims up to the person, grabs their leg very gently, kind of basically hugs them, and then swims away. That stuff is...

And crows are known to hold grudges. There was an experiment where, and for months they were literally like, yeah, they give gifts. Well,

cats give gifts too, but not the ones you want. Yeah. It's, dude, it's terrifying. That's actually spooky. There's a story of a lady

who would, there was like a bunch of crows on her balcony so she started like feeding them a little bit and then after a while she started to notice what looked to her like garbage

on the balcony randomly, but it was always shiny. So after she would like start feeding these crows, they would go off to find something shiny and bring it back and be like, we got you something. And this literally went on for like years. It'd be like a little bead

or like a button from a coat, like an interesting coin. Like they're just like, yeah, people like shiny stuff. Yeah. That stuff scares me because of how awful humans are to all animals. And I'm like, man, if animals ever decide to turn on us. Like they have a good reason.

The dolphin uprising. Really? Yeah. It's treehouse of harbor. Dude, that stuff scares me. And chimpanzees, like they're so smart. I saw one skateboard the other day. It was, I'm not gonna, I just saw it.

It was on a TikTok. I can't even skateboard. So that's impressive. Ocean stuff is spooky for me. Like it's, it's what's lurking in the abyss and all that undiscovered stuff. And, you know, you don't know what could be down there. Cause that's, it's so real,

but it's still so foreign to us. And the fact that like Humboldt squids, like I think I, when we were roommates, I showed you this video of like a bunch of Humboldt squids, but it was in pitch blackness and you'd just see a giant squid pop in. They put a camera on a squid. So it showed them communicating with each other,

which is they open up their tentacles and stuff. And it's, it's really weird. Scares the hell out of me. I think I saw a video where a octopus like got out of a jar. I've seen. Yeah. Like it was like a pickle jar.

It twists the thing from the bottom. Yeah. It understands twists. Bro, that stuff is so crazy. It's so crazy. That's, they're little Cthulhus. Yep.

They're just little Cthulhus. Cuddly-hoos. Well, I think we're getting close to wrapping this up here. A thing we haven't talked about is, guys, we are very close to 25 million subscribers. Yes. On the Smosh channel. On Smosh main. That's very not scary.

That's very not spooky. It's very cool. But I am currently, I'm taking a quick break for this podcast. I'm taking a quick break for this podcast. But when we were 200,000 subscribers away from 25 million, I started doing push-ups. And I am not stopping until we hit 25 million. I am trying to do over 200,000 push-ups before we reach 25 million subscribers. Your arms are disgusting.

My arms are. I'm turning to dust. You're like Popeye except up top. I'm turning into an octopus. Please save me. Please help us get to 25 million. Tell your family to subscribe. Get everyone to subscribe.

In your dreams, make sure to communicate that we need to hit 25 million subscribers. Tell the ghosts to subscribe. Do nice things for crows so that crows will start subscribing. We need to grow our crow audience. We need to hit 25 million. Yeah, and we're trying to do it before the end of the month. Yeah. Because we have some super secret project that we want to announce,

and it's so freaking exciting. I keep almost spilling the beans, and I don't want to. So please. We want to tell you guys so bad and it's so freaking exciting. I keep almost spilling the beans and I don't want to. So please. We want to tell you guys so bad because it's crazy. It's next level. It's absolutely crazy. It's actually like for real.

It's crazy like a crow. Yeah. No, it's not really a hint. And you think Damien being a psychic alien is crazy? God damn it. Just wait. Just buckle up. Yeah, Damien,

when do you think we'll get hit 25 million? Yeah, Damien, what date? Say it. Say the date. What date do you think we're going to hit 25 million? September 19th. No, we're in October. I said some-tember.

It's a made-up month. Just give us a date. Give us a date, and then if you guys can make it happen, make it into Psychic Ability Reel. Just give us a date. I'm very bummed that this is the thing. October 29th is what I was going to say. Okay, okay.

October 29th? I don't know. What? October 29th, we're was going to say. Okay, okay. October 29th? I don't know. What? October 29th, we're going to hit 25 million subscribers on Smosh. Boom. We're all predicting it. Maybe we're all psychic. Maybe.

Just what you wait and see. This is so exciting. But for real, I don't know if we've hyped it anywhere. It's actually a legitimate announcement that we're going to make. It's not just like, oh, look, Shane has gonna make. It's not just like, oh look, Shane has a hat. It's not any of that. It's a very real thing. It's a very real big moment.

For what it's worth, Shane does have a hat. And if we don't hit 25 million subscribers in that time, we're scrapping it. We're not doing it at all. We're never doing it again. In fact, you know what? I'm quitting. If we don't hit 25 million. A friend of mine,

like a couple weeks ago, like tweeted out like, all right, guys, if this gets 10,000 likes, I'm making a TikTok. Clearly planning to make a TikTok. And then it got nowhere near that. And he just had to sort of tweet like,

oh, okay, well, I guess no TikTok. And then like a week later, it finally hit. And he's like, all right, guys, here it is. But it was just that moment of like, do you want to tie an announcement to a conditional? Yes, that's what we're doing. That's what we're doing.

Yeah. So please subscribe. All right, guys. Well, we're wrapping things up here. The full audio comes out on Wednesdays as well as the highlight clip on the Smoshcast YouTube channel. And the full video comes out on Fridays.

So be sure to check it out. Be sure to like it. Be sure to hit that notification bell. Be sure to rate this podcast five stars. It's very important. It helps us keep this thing rolling. It is 2005. Oh, I thought you meant for YouTube.

I was like, wow. The rate, the five stars. I forgot that was a thing. No, on the Apple and the Spotify. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. You learned stars. I forgot that was a thing. No, on the Apple and the Spotify. Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

You learned something. I did. That I'm a big old dummy. All right, guys. Thank you so much. See you later. Bye-bye. Ciao.

Arrivederci. You just like mumble the middle part. Arrivederci. Riverbend.