Smosh Mouth - S1: #39 - Travel Talk & Future Condoms

Episode Date: November 13, 2019

Ian, Noah, and Damien sit down to talk about their dream travel destinations, but get distracted and talk about everything from YouTube’s intense copyright laws to the condoms of the future.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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If you have questions or concerns about gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Ramble. I was low-key pissed because I was like, it's my first night in Japan and you're taking me to get Italian?

Probably the dumbest thing I've done with my money other than buying a car and then breaking it a lot and then repairing it too many times. Went to a Red Lobster and I think I spent like $320. Damn, my dude! How? The doctors can shine a light on the person's butt and the tapeworm will peek out. What?

I wanna talk about all the people I wanna put in prison. Oh, um. I'm so sorry, guys, that's the tone of my life. It's no-avember, guys. It's no November, guys. It's like Gemini season, but with three times more conspiracies. Helena Bonham Carter? I barely know her.

Hi, everyone. I'm going to talk, and I brought some coffee, and I got these little burps going. Don't take Courtney's brain. It's like she's here. Welcome, everybody, to the Smoshcast.

This is a... We've decided this podcast is going to be about our favorite places or places that we hope are our favorite places. Places that we haven't been, places that we have been and places that we haven't been that we want to go to. Okay. Travel cast. Travel cast. Travel cast.

You know, I think it's important to get out there and see other people, see other cultures, get to understand the world that's outside of your own. And traveling is the best way to do that. If you don't have the money to travel, Wikipedia is there. Just read a book. Yeah. Just read a book. Google Street View.

Yeah, that's true. Also, Noah, we've never done a podcast together. No, no. Hey, how are you, man? I'm good, how are you? I'm doing very good, good to see you. I didn't get the memo, but that's okay. Hey, no, you did.

It's just up there. We took it from you. Okay, clever boy. Yeah. This is a never-before-seen combo on the Smoshcast. Just three old boys. The devil's trio. Are we kind of like a Pokemon evolution?

Nope, that's something very different, Damien. Oh, is that a different thing? The devil's trio? Is that actually a thing? What is that? Oh, no. It's over my head. Well, it's got to be a sex term if he's going like, whoa.

I think that's what it is. Oh, usually sex terms about that mean like being very dirty, and I mean that as an unclean, like when doing things, you know what I mean? Or maybe it's a devil's triangle. Oh, no, that's where Amelia Earhart is. The devil's trio is definitely a sex thing. Well, okay. Wasn't that like a thing that was in like Brett Kavanaugh's diaries?

Oh, my God. And then he said it was a drinking game. Oh, yeah. He's like, it's a drinking game. Well, I'll say clearly you can randomly say the term and have it mean something else. That's right. Do you remember that would always happen in elementary and middle school where you're like, oh, we got on the swings the other day and then we were swinging backwards.

And people were like, oh, swinging backwards. You would just say a random thing and then someone would repeat something their cousin told them. That's so funny. Right? Well, for the Just Dance video that we did, Mari showed up as a piñata, and we're like, Mari. What was Matt Robb? Because we were talking about, yeah, because you were in on this bit, right? Yeah, I caught on pretty quick.

Yeah, because we were like, Mari, that's incredibly offensive. Japanese piñata, you don't know what that means? That's so funny. It was much more of like a slow burn, though, and Matt's like, because we were like Mari that's incredibly offensive Japanese pinata you don't know what that means that's so funny it was much more of like a slow burn though and Matt's like oh I get it

Japanese pinata and he sort of let her piece it together when she was like wait what is that a thing and then I just went like oh my god I didn't even think about that

yeah and then she was like what is that a what and so literally until midway through shooting I was just

and she was just like oh you told her? Yeah, she was like, what is a Japanese piñata? I'm like, all right. So it's like when, like, okay, so like when Matt Robb wants to mess with his friend. And then she was just like, oh, God. She totally believed it. You guys suck because I was a victim of that.

I'm now the only victim that didn't know, I guess, because after leaving that conversation with you guys, she was still on it. And she was asking other people what a Japanese pinata was. And so it was my job to try to figure out what that meant. And I think I was talking with Olivia and she was like, oh my gosh, like I hate how people are fetishized and stuff like that.

Like she's really not about like porn in general, but I guess specifically like Japanese pinata is definitely more offensive than like just a pinata. You know? So we were pretty like not happy about it. Wow. It turns out it's nothing at all. It's nothing at all pretty, like, not happy about it. Wow. But it turns out it's nothing at all. It's nothing at all. So now we have to make it. Yes.

I googled Japanese pinata, nothing showing up. It's just a pinata, folded like a goose. There's a sushi pinata. It looks kind of cool. The closest they would have is usually like a watermelon. You blindfold yourself, put a watermelon on the ground, take turns whacking at it until it breaks open, and then you eat it.

Oh. It's the Japanese version of a pinata. Wow. Kevin, you know a lot about Japan. Oh, yeah. Well, it's... Oh, so yeah, it is called Devil's Triangle. What did you just...

What is this podcast? No, we don't need to worry about that. Yeah. I'm afraid of the reflection of your glasses of the screen. I'm trying to not look at it just so I don't get a hint. You know what it is? It's an appetizer combo at Chili's. It's the devil's trio.

It's three types of hot cheese. You got a pepper jack, got an aged cheddar, and a mozzarella. And then boneless wings, which we all know are not wings. They're rats. They're smaller chicken tenders. I really thought it was rat. I don't know. I would try rat if it was at a place where like you were supposed to eat. You know, that's so funny because that's totally what it is.

Like in other cultures, they eat bugs and stuff and it's like, ooh, bugs, ooh, bugs. But like the moment that it's presented in like a little thing where it's like a joke, like try a cricket, all of a sudden we're willing to buy it. Like if Chili's just served you rat, it would be totally normal to order rat. I'm not fine with any food that's an accident or a surprise. If there's a bug in your other food, not cool. But if they're like, hey, we

raised these bugs specifically to do this awesome bug dish, I'd be like, sure, cook it up. Like, same with rat, same with anything. You just landed on literally, I think, a universal I don't like foods that are an accident or a surprise. And I agree with you. I don't like things that gush that I didn't know were gushing.

Like I don't want things like that going on. How did you of all people have the show put it in my mouth? Because I hate things so much. I hate it so much. When Noah first started on Smosh, like half of your cuisine consisted of butter pasta, butter and noodles. And, and they would ask me like, why don't you put a sauce on her? Do you want a sauce? And I'm like, butter is the sauce. And that's, that was like the joke. That's like saying peppers is spicy.

Oh my God. I had a friend that said that they knew something. They knew a guy that, that said that he couldn't put pepper on things because it was too spicy. Wow. I mean, I just don't like black pepper in general, but it's certainly not about the spice level. Yeah. So I think the reason why we made Put It In My Mouth, it was because Noah was so averse to any kind of food. And obviously, like, I think your acceptance of food as a whole grew after that show and us just forcing you to eat regular food.

I'm a big fan of trying things, like a big fan of, like, obviously trying things that are safe. Like, I'm not about to be out here and be like, oh, heroin. Like, I've never tried that. Like, no, obviously. But things that are normal. There's no middle ground. It's like, you only eat butter pasta? Okay, we're going to introduce you

to heroin. Black tar heroin. But on the level of, like, trying things that you've never tried, I think you should always do things once, unless it's, you know, heroin or skydiving without a parachute. Those are probably the only two. So, I remember the first time I ever tried Indian food was actually like, probably the first piece of content

we ever did for the second channel at the time. But it's now Smosh Pit. It was me trying Indian food. And do you love it now? No. What? No, I know that I don't like it. See, I'll try things, but I know that I don't like them beforehand.

There's certain things that I can't get over. I can respect that you're not a fan of it, but I would encourage you to try. Like, it's like literally saying, oh, I had American food once. I don't like American food. It's like, well, what what did you eat like a burger or like a new american cuisine like what are we talking about same with indian food like they're incredible curries but if you don't like red curry there's yellow curry that's more like sweet like korma is so good or they're these wonderful breads and like the fact that you wouldn't like all of it as a genre is just a surprise to me i'd say that's cool. Because I don't know that much.

I'm not that in-depth. So that's actually very interesting. I don't remember quite what we made you eat. I'm guessing we made you eat chicken tikka masala, maybe some chana masala, maybe some naan. I think there was a type of chutney. Samosa. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, samosas. But the general like naan, which is the bread, right? That shit's fire. Yeah. I could eat that all day long. bread, right? That shit's fire. Yeah. I could eat that all day long. Yeah. That's cool.

It's good stuff. Reminds me of lavash. Yeah. It's very similar. It's like buttery. Yeah. I used to live less than a block from this wonderful Indian restaurant in the heart of Miracle Mile, Los Angeles.

And they have another, like they have a few more like locations around Los Angeles, but none are as good as this one in Miracle Mile. And I would get it, like, every other night. And it would get to the point where, like, they'd know me and they'd be like, hey, Damien. I'd be like, Billo, how's it going, man? Like, good to see you. Yeah, you know it. Lamb korma.

Thank you very much. Like, I miss it so much. I don't think I've ever had lamb korma. That's great. It's good. It's like a yellow curry. It's like a dash of cream. They use like cashews and raisins to season as well, which I know doesn't sound good right off the bat, but it's like this sweet, savory.

Yeah. I don't know, man. So good. I get lamb korma. Yeah. Amazing. That sounds good. I'm hungry now.

Yeah, me too. What type of food do you not like? I was talking about that on stream last night. Someone was like, what is your least favorite food? And I was like, I literally can't think of anything. Like I will try most things. I mean, I've had like ratatouilles before that I've been just not a fan of because there wasn't enough texture. It like kind of felt grody to me.

It's just a stew. It just felt kind of like stewy. But like, I don't know, even Brussels sprouts, I'm like, I've had them in ways that are good. I like everything. Like one of my first weeks here, Mythical Chef Josh was like'm like, I've had them in ways that are good. I like everything. One of my first weeks here, Mythical Chef Josh was like, hey, who wants to try some muffins? And they had made beet goulash muffins with fish eggs in it as a joke for a Rhett and Link video. And I took a bite and I was like, hey, that's a pretty good muffin. I like a lot of things.

That's crazy. That's some gulag food. Sorry, that's rude. That's rude. Coming gulag food. Sorry, that's rude. Coming from goulash. Sorry, that's my grandma's goulash, and I know she won't see this. I thought you were going to say your grandma was in the goulash. No, she brought some of the recipes back from it, though. She definitely was close

to it geographically. But yeah, that's a tough shoulder. That's a prison for everybody. Really sad one. Really not so great. One of the more fun prisons I would have to say. Of all the prisons I've been to. Yeah, Gulag, the Gulag is, you know, you got to try it once, you know. This could be your new show.

Yeah. Oh, my God, let's raid prisons. Put Noah in a Gulag. Yeah. We go to the worst Yelp reviewed prison. Wow. That's so funny. That's unbelievable. Can you Yelp reviewed prison. Wow. That's so funny. That's unbelievable.

Can you Yelp rate a prison? I want to know that. Yes, I think you can. And all the good ones are in like Norway. Oh, yeah. Because they actually are trying to reform their people and be like, here's how you go about life now. And they're like, thanks for the change.

And here it's like, how would we like 20 years of free labor for a minor offense? Cool beans. Yeah. And we all just sort of shrug and are like, yeah, that's how it goes.

Yeah. Oops. Yeah. I saw a Swedish prison cell that looked better than, than most of the Airbnbs I see. Yeah. I mean,

it's smart. It's like, oh, okay. Like you don't treat the people like they're animals inside and then maybe they won't come out totally messed up. I don't know.

Yeah. Definitely deeper rooted societal things, different shifts. Yeah. Also a lot less people in the prison system in Sweden. Yeah. If we were to give everyone that kind of treatment in America, we would need. They're not monetized though. Yeah.

Well, they're not privatized. They're not privatized. They're not privatized, yeah. Which is essentially the same're not privatized. They're not privatized, yeah. Which is essentially the same thing. I think California is getting rid of privatized prisons. I think there's a thing against it, but I think it's opening up new ones. It's something like that. It's like the half step to hopefully get the full step.

Apparently a lot of the cheese, the very expensive cheese you get from Whole Foods, is made by prison labor. What? It's like artisan, handcrafted, $12 cheese. It's like, yeah, handcrafted by people who got paid a dollar a week. Cheese? Yeah. Same with a lot of farm-raised fish, too.

A lot of the fish farms are in prisons. That's crazy. But they're only in prison. So it's like, hey, you're learning a trade. You get to learn how to farm for fish. And then when you get out, it's like, well, there aren't jobs for that. That was all in prison. Attached to that is the idea that I was learning this through fighting the fires in California

because a lot of our firefighters are prisoners yes um yeah is actually the 13th amendment which legalizes slavery um in prisons specifically for convicts it's still legal to have effectively a slave um is it's illegal under the 13th amendment for any of these people to then get jobs in that industry so in california anyone who just spent you know five years in order to get a reduced sentence learning how to fight fires on the front line can't become a firefighter. I don't think it's impossible, but it's really hard for a felon to get a job as a firefighter, which really sucks because we're training all these people. Specifically the fact that there's 30,000 people that don't have any other skills that would love to be able to do something that are also trained in something we specifically need. Yeah. But it is kind of funny that like our fires are fought by a work crew of thousands of inmates. And people who probably are not near anywhere that's on fire too.

Like they're definitely not from Thousand Oaks or the Getty Center. Oh, sure. You know what I mean? Like it's really what it is. I mean, I think it's interesting. But yeah, the 13th Amendment. If you guys haven't seen, is it called The 13th on Netflix? I haven't seen that.

It's Ava DuVernay doc. Oh, that's really cool. It talks about the 13th Amendment and how, you know, once slavery was abolished, the South was like, oh, but like, what about this? If we- Literally the next day you can get arrested. Yeah, if they're prisoners, then we can still work them like slaves. Yikes.

Yeah. I didn't know that. You know, it was a fun bit that I was doing yesterday and I was really yelling it in the office. And I don't know if everyone was there. It doesn't matter. It was on set when we were doing the Just Dance thing. I was just really making a point about copyright law and how we always get copyrighted and demonetized for little bits of anything

and how it's obviously parody or it's obviously this. And I thought it was so funny if all YouTubers banded together and literally got the law changed, copyright law. If you do it in the United States, it'd be international, but somehow I think that'd be so funny. You could band together all the YouTubers and they still wouldn't be as big as their record industry.

No, no, obviously. But I think in a way that's just like, it did get a little way that you want to do it. You know, now we don't listen to anything by universal, which is like,

okay, how are you going to do that? I'm not sure, but we did, it did get a little better. YouTube has instituted a slightly better policy where if it's like a five second clip of music, they can't claim- An entire video.

Well, they can still choose to like take your video down, but they can't take the money from it. Okay, makes sense. So it's like, they can still say like, hey, you're using my content, which is true. It is still copyright infringement, but they can't be like, hey, that video that you spent 30 hours editing,

all that work you did, it doesn't matter. You used five seconds of your song, so that's our money. They can't do that anymore. And they're punishing people for, they're punishing companies that are doing these claiming for making false claims. So there were companies that are doing these claiming for making false claims. So there were

like, there were companies that were there to just, they benefited from just claiming every possible thing that could slightly be considered copyright infringement. And there was no real punishment for that until now. So now they're held accountable. So it is, it is better. It is getting better. My brain just went to four years from now when the future is all subscription-based and the reality that music will be used in YouTube videos is a thing. Everyone knows it and everyone loves it. So now anyone who's featured on one of these big labels, this big label, can partner with YouTube, can partner with anyone at all, and you can pay YouTube $9.95 a month

and you can now use any of this music in any of your videos. Well, they can hope. No, no, no. That's not a hope. That's a sad future because you should just be able to use their music unless you're just straight up playing the song in a video so that other people can obviously listen to the song without having to pay for a streaming service or view it on this person's channel where the song is specifically monetized. But there's definitely a legal case in my opinion, because I always want to support the underdog unless I'm the business owner. I've never owned a business, so I don't take that side. But I'm always like, okay, this is obviously parody, or this is

obviously being talked over or being used in a different way where no one could take the real worth of your product because no one would be using your product through that video, if that makes sense. I do think there has to be a happy medium, though, because even if you are, you know, people aren't going to come to the video just to listen to it, which they're of course not, I agree with you there. You are still using something that somebody else made for the benefit of your own channel. I think there's a happy medium to be reached,

because otherwise, if there's no happy medium there, and it just sort of feels like free reign, which I would personally love, but as you said, I'm not a business owner, same as you, the companies are always going to try to find a way of like, how do we snatch this back? And they usually have to do it with ways that we consider a little unsavory or underhanded,

like claiming every possible video. So until we get an established way to make both parties happy, there's always going to be some screwing over on both sides. Yeah. I mean, like I think it's perfectly, I think it's perfectly in there, right?

If you're using, I think parody is a different story. I agree. If you're parodying a song and it's a critique that involves the song, that's fair use. That should never be claimed. Like when Olivia said mozzarella in the tune of Rihanna's umbrella. And they claim that and that's not okay. No, that was absolutely ridiculous. And I kept trying to think of that example too without specifically doing it.

Cause I'm like, well, damn, I don't want this podcast to be claimed as well. And I think we did get that. I think we did get that reversed. No, we took out that audio. I think we took out that audio. So obviously none of us are lawyers in copyright law, but can you copyright a speech? I would, I want to copyright specific notes and tones so that in

the future we all have to speak in C sharp and that's the only, uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but that's like really like when it comes down to like, like, can I patent like a formula within my songwriting or my poems or my speeches or a method that I use? I mean, there's, there's been, there's been, um, musicians like Marvin Gaye's, uh, uh, estate sued, um, blurred lines. Yeah. Robin Thicke for using a similar tune. And that's happened a lot, like where, where, uh, an artist has sued a different artist for using a similar like tune. It doesn't even have to be an exact rip.

You can just claim like, oh, that was clearly derivative of my content. I don't know if that answers your question. No, not really. I just wanted to find my way to gaming the system. Oh, yeah. To just make a bunch of money suing people. Yeah. Or just claim a bunch of things.

Well, it's like with Kim Kardashian was making this, I think it was like an underwear line and she wanted to call it kimono or something like that. She wanted to take the word kimono. She wanted to copyright the word kimono and like all of Japan's like, hi, quick question about that. Her lawyer's sitting there like, no, but they don't speak English. We're with this, the English phrase kimono, that's not a real word in English. It was literally, I mean, that's the best real word in english it was literally i mean that's

that's the only thing that they could say yeah it's like you can say anything when you can pay a lawyer you can't it's also a brand of condoms kimono wow those sound soft and flowy they might not get the job done today's podcast is brought to you today's prison cast is brought to you by kimono condoms. Kimono. Put it on your dick. It's the only Kimono I know. Not that we have to go there. This can be cut, but I had a brand of condom recommended to me by a friend.

And it's a Swedish brand. It's called like Lilo Hex or something like that. It's a condom that apparently it's not one big balloon, but it's made by casting together. Same material, essentially, but it's a bunch of hexagons. Yeah, yeah. Imagine, like, instead of casting. Yeah, it's like they've got hexagons connected, and that builds the entire condom that looks like a normal condom. Stop using your hands that big.

Sorry. We all know that's bullshit. Yeah. So, like, when you've got to get into your condom. Yeah, you know, and you wrap it around your balls yeah for those that are just listening i have my hands very wide as though he's saying the fish was this big that's so funny the fish is my balls yeah but this condom apparently can't pop there's like a video of them like poking it it can pop because they put a needle through it but it it doesn't pop pop. It just makes the tiny hole, but it doesn't entirely pop.

I don't see how that's better because if you get a hole towards the top, you still got a hole. So you just don't know that it's popped. I just thought I'd share about these condoms. There's kimono condoms and there's also these hexagon condoms. The end. All right. I just learned about them.

Hey, everyone should look up these hexagon condoms. I'm actually kind of interested. Hey guys, totally sponsored by this Swedish condom company. I don't wear socks anymore. What are our highlights going to be today? Prison reform, the 13th

amendment, and condom preference. Oh yeah, Lilo Hex. There you go, I'm telling you. And there's a video of this guy poking him with a pen. And my friend told me about it. You can hit your wiener with a bat and you won't even feel it. It protects it. Oh, this is cool.

It's like active armor. Graphene-inspired structure for thinness and strength. Yeah, that's what it is. It's got 350 interconnected hexagons that give it structure. Forged together by a dwarf in mount doom it's me thrill your me thrill wean my concern my concern is that their advertisement shows the condom just like sticking straight up just on its own like all and i'm wondering like does this just like come out of a sheath and it's just like, it just stands up right on. No, no,

it's, it's, it's, it's, it's a normal condom and it functions like a normal condom. Okay. So it's just a normal condom. I had a,

I had one sample. I was, I was given a sample. I had a sample one. I feel like I shouldn't ask. It was, how was it? Could you pop it?

Listen on the, this is real. I don't know what size it was and I don't know. I felt like I got the pencil variety because it was very difficult to put on, and it was very uncomfortable to leave on. It was difficult to put it all the way on. And I'm a normal person, so I felt like I got maybe the extra small sample. But it didn't pop.

Didn't pop. But this doesn't sound like a glowing review. No, my experience with it was not. But it didn't pop. Didn't pop. This doesn't sound like a glowing review. No, my experience with it was not. Although I've never, you know, I'll keep my next sentence to myself. Okay. Yes. How good is that sentence for not hearing?

I've got a question for everyone else. Have you ever had a condom that was great? I did use the kimono condoms. You did? Oh, my God. How is that? They're good. Yeah? Is that like sheepskin or something?

I mean, it beats having an accidental baby. Yeah, that's true. More or less same sentiment. There's no great one. There are better ones. Yeah, for sure. And I have no kids. Yeah, okay.

Or STDs. Wow. So that's honestly bad. You want to know something fun? Yes. My oldest brother, apparently a double accident. That's birth control and a condom. Yeah, I have a friend that was the same way.

But maybe that's the parents just lying. They're trying to cover up for their irresponsibility, be like, oh, no, we were responsible. You just made me realize what if both my parents were lying to each other and they didn't even know. One's like, you're on the pill, right? And he's like, yeah. And the other one's like, it didn't break, did it? And he's like, yeah, it didn't break. Or she's like, you're wearing a condom, right?

And he was like, yeah. No, there's no way that's like, you're wearing a condom, right? And he was like, yeah. There's no way that you don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Are you aware of the show that was, what's that show called? I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant?

Yeah. They made an entire television show about women that didn't know that they were pregnant until they went into labor. I've seen a clip of a woman talking about how she thought that she had pressure because she had to go poop and that she thought that she went poop. She was like, wow, that was such a difficult shit. I swear to God. No.

Yes. And when she looked down, there was a baby. She had no idea. Not only did she not know she was pregnant, she thought it was a shit. But it's a different, it's a different canal. No, you're misunderstanding. This person obviously has births of shits every day. This person knew no different between their daily bowel movement and birth.

There's larger problems here. Yeah, one of those sounds like an emergency. It's the baby in the toilet. Oh, my God. Now, I don't know how much they play those things up, but that's the one that I have seen. I don't know what to say to that. Yeah. Where do we go from here?

I think you... That's the craziest thing I've ever heard. I don't know. But my issue is like hopefully it fell in the water part, you know? Because porcelain is pretty hard. Well, look, the baby hitting its head on porcelain is just the first in a series of horrible things that that's going to happen in that baby's life. Yes. When the mother didn't know she was pregnant and pooped the baby into a toilet.

That's not the only bad thing. I feel like that's like an urban myth. No, that's an ad. That's an ad for that show 100%. Okay, but hold on. Unless I dreamed it. Unless I like saw a bit of the show and then went to sleep. I believe that they put that on this show.

This is reality TV. They cast someone to do that. Like, maybe she actually didn't know she was pregnant, but for them to be like, what if you, like, played up the story? Like, you really just thought

it was a poop. Like, we all know, like, was, if it was... Can you imagine, like, an adult walking up to another adult, like, the producer walks up, hey, but, like,

what if, what if you thought it was a poop? Hey, can you just play this up for us? Just, like, just, like, say it was a poop. That's reality TV, though. That is reality TV. Yes, but that's just so funny for this woman to be like okay okay as long as i get my 45 american dollars at the end of the day

you get your content sweetheart do you know what else i'm sorry it's equally gross you know what else is cool about condoms no the same type of tv shows are like the ones where i saw like the stories of people that they didn't know they had tapeworms until like they farted once and then like felt something i watched a lot of these shows as a kid just to like really i don't know i'd get grossed out and then i would leave but this one dude farted out a tapeworm and went to go check on it and saw that it was a tapeworm outside of his body because he was like oh did i poop and then he didn't know what to do so he got scissors and i feel like he was at his office or something. Or maybe it was his house and he had scissors.

And he cut it as close as he could to his anus so that it would – And it went back up. The part that was left would – I would have tried to pull it out. No, you can't because they're literally in your intestines. They're in the walls. Like the fact that it was already coming out his butt like that is like it's already 35 feet long in him. Like that's the situation. And that's why there's a show about it. Yeah, I think there's a kind

where you can like, oh gosh, this is maybe too much. But I've heard that there's like... Sorry, man. There's one where you can shine... Shine a light on it? Shine a light. The doctors can shine a light on the person's butt.

And the tapeworm will peek out. What? It's a showman. It sees the spotlight and it says, I'm a star. It's a little cave person. I'm so sorry, y'all. Hold on. No, I can't Google this.

Why are you looking it up? I can't Google it. Oh, luckily we have no Wi-Fi here. Is that what's going on, or you just don't want to do it? No, I don't want to do it, because I know if I try Googling shine a light on a person's butthole to have a tapeworm poke out, that's not going to be a lovely Google image search. I like how we were supposed to talk about the places we wanted to go and see.

Oh, I'm so sorry. And the locations. I'm so sorry. All the lovely places in the world. I'm imagining one person like listening the first three minutes of the podcast. Just fucking talk about it. Like, oh, yeah, awesome. I can't wait for them to talk about travel.

And then like they skip to like, they keep skipping by 10 minute increments trying to see when the travel is like. Prison reform. What's your favorite condom? Like the last 10 minutes is like, I don't know, Belarus sounds cool. Where is that?

Eastern Europe. Oh, just in general? Is that like Hungary? Belarus? I don't know. Oh damn, I'm so sorry. I was really curious. I thought you might've gone there.

No, I've never been to Belarus. We could talk about that. I had Romanian food for the first time. Oh, what is that technically? It was good.

What is it technically? What is Romanian food? What did you eat? I had like a- Better question. Yeah. What went in your mouth? I had like a really tasty

chicken stew kind of thing. It was like chicken and? I had like a really like tasty like chicken stew kind of thing. It was like chicken and like maybe it was like a tomato base or something like that. And it had a polenta in it. Oh. That was really good. That sounds really good. Yeah. And then I had this dumpling that was like the size.

It was like a fried ball the size of like a baseball. And inside it was like cheese and like, I want to say like celery and carrots and some stuff. That sounds great. It was, it was pretty, it was pretty bomb. My dude.

Where, how did that happen? Where'd you get it? Um, it was, it was next to where I, it was near where I get my, my haircut and my,

and this, this guy was like, yeah, it's a pretty good. And I was like, I've never had Romanian food before. I don't think I have ever been given the opportunity to. Heck yeah.

That's cool. Yeah. I like trying new stuff like that. Yeah. There's a, there's a Burmese food place or Myanmar food place. I don't know what you would consider it, but I don't know what it's called.

Is it, is it Myanmar right now? Is it, I think it's Myanmar right now. Anyway, uh, it, there was like a, they had like a fermented tea leaf salad at this place.

That sounds good. Dude, it was – Fermented tea leaf? Yeah. Yeah. It's like nothing I ever tasted before in my life, and it was amazing. It's like solid kombucha is what that sounds like. Well, it was like – it had like some, you know, your sort of typical salad things,

like kind of like a lettuce, but then it also had like a lot of like legumes in it. And then it had like little jalapenos in it. And it had like the front of tea leaf. That's always been surprising to me, the amount of jalapenos in East Asian cooking. I always like associated that with like Southwestern American or Latin America. I'm like, oh, yeah, jalapenos. But the fact that it is so popular in East Asian cooking, I'm like, wow. I mean, it could be a different kind of chili. I don't really know. But it's at least here, like you get jalapenos, but the fact that it is so popular in East Asian cooking, I'm like, wow. I mean, it could be a different kind of chili.

I don't really know. But it's at least here, like you get jalapenos on pho. You get jalapenos in Thai cooking. There's jalapenos everywhere. Like there's jalapenos in sushi now too. So it's just, I don't know. It's a good little boy. But yeah, it was dope.

It was like salty from like the legumes, like nuts kind of things. And then it was like, it was spicy from the jalapenos. And it was briny from the fermented tea leaves. It sounds really good. It was, oh, man. Yum. It was great. Burmese food, I give that a big old thumbs up.

But I do not want to go to Myanmar right now. I'm going to, nope. Not exactly a great place for- Specific groups. Freedom. Freedom. Yeah. I'm going to... Not exactly a great place for... Specific groups. Freedom. Yeah. Or living, if you're a certain... If you're one of the persecuted ethnic groups.

But there are some other places. What places do you guys want to go to? This is going to air while I'm in Japan. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, that's cool. Going back to Japan. Are you going with Shane again?

No. Shane has Goldbergs and stuff and was sort of concerned about scheduling. So I'm actually going with Kevin and his wife. Hey-o. That'll be super fun. It's going to be super fun. Last time I went to only Tokyo and there was so much to explore there. You know, barely even scratched the surface.

But this time we're going to Osaka first. That's great. And that's like the street food mecca of Japan. And I'm excited to try all these different things. I'm going to get off keto a few days before, so there's no like weird transitional period. And then I'm just going to go to town and gain a bunch of weight. That's cool.

Get some takoyaki. Takoyaki. I'm going to get some okonomiyaki or is it onokomiyaki? Okonomiyaki. Okonomiyaki. But you don't want, Osaka okonomiyaki isn't as good as Hiroshima. What? But that's where it started out

Yeah it's just not good though It's Yeah whole city Doesn't have a good one Try them all No but Well cause like The Osaka style

Okonomiyaki Is that really simple Like Savory pancake Right Just like the single Like flat thing Yeah

The Hiroshima style Is the one with like All those layers Oh Shane and I had that Style in Tokyo. Yeah. Yeah. They might,

I mean, they'll probably, they'll definitely have it in Osaka. Fair enough. But go after the Hiroshima style. Dude,

I'm going to try everything. Screw it. I want to try literally everything. I'm excited because I'm a seafood boy. Oh yeah. And I've missed having rice

while on keto. And so just the combo of all that is going to be great. I want to make us a reservation at a fancy tempura restaurant. My treat.

Ooh, tonkatsu. Get some tonkatsu. Well, is it tonkatsu or tonkatsu? No, you're talking tonkatsu, the actual. It's a fried pork cutlet. Ooh, baby. Heck yeah. Down with that.

I barely ate sushi when I was in Japan. Both times. Dude, Shane and I barely ate sushi when I was in Japan. Both times. Dude, Shane and I kept going to these conveyor belt sushi places, which, you know, there is sort of lower end. But they're all like color coded with the plates. Like if you grab a green plate, it's a dollar. If you grab the orange plate, it's a buck fifty or whatever. But we would just go to town and make these stacks of plates, spend 15 bucks total. And it's like their lowest grade stuff is still the best sushi I'd ever had.

Incredible, incredible food. And you just try whatever. And you're like, I can't really read that. It looks like it might be sea bream. Oh, well, cut it up. What? Did you go to- I had duck sushi.

That was neat. Did you go to a busy place? A busy, was it busy, the place with the conveyor belt? We went to a few different conveyor belt places. One of them was very busy. Another one was always just like, it was near the train station and barely had any people in it.

Ooh, see, that's sketchy. No, it was good, dude. Because I feel like if you're doing the conveyor belt, you definitely want to go to a spot that is busy because otherwise that stuff is sitting on the conveyor belt for a long time. But it was fine. You don't want sushi sitting there.

It was fine. It was a dollar for like amazing tuna sushi. And I'm not talking about like the hand rolls or whatever. I'm talking like nice slabs of fish on top of rice. And even if it'd been sitting there, it was still fresher than anything else I'd ever tasted here. You know, we tried all sorts of weird stuff. So I'm just excited to have another food adventure. It's weird that food is the thing I'm most excited about when I think about Japan right now. Oh, that's like half of my reason for traveling is just to eat food. Like literally just eat food and drink. And that's half my travels. I remember when I went last time, the first night Shane and I were there,

we met up with you and we were like, all right, what are we going to get? Like, I want to get some good Japanese food. And you were like, let's go. I don't know. I'm feeling like, let's go get Italian food. And I was low-key pissed because I was like, it's my first night in Japan and you're taking me to get Italian.

It was, I'll be damned if it wasn't the best Italian food I've ever had in my life. Oh my God. It was incredible. Yeah. Italian food in Japan is bomb. There's just mastery of whatever you want to do. You pursue mastery. And so if they want to make a pizza, they're going to find a cool way to make it their

own and make it perfect same with yeah I had just amazing like risotto and duck and all that stuff I've never had a risotto in my life and that's one thing that I really want to have what? you've never had risotto? I've never had a risotto only from watching 15 seasons of Hell's Kitchen

am I now like obsessed with a perfect risotto really we need to take you there needed to be one more episode of Put It In My Mouth where we actually treat you to good food kitchen am I now like obsessed with the perfect risotto yeah really we need to take you like there needed to be one more episode of put it in my mouth where we actually treat you to good food and we're like what do you want to try and you're like I've never had a pear we should take Noah fine dining yeah that should be the next that should be the next show what I've done a lot is go places that aren't that nice so I've done a lot of stupid things with my money for fun because

I think it's funny probably the dumbest thing I've done with my money other than buying a car and then breaking it a lot and then repairing it too many times cake pants no cake pants oh that's like 15 no i went to a red lobster and i think i spent like 320 dollars um damn i did well that that was the statement i'd never been to a red lobster and the statement was to show up and to order like their surf and turf all the things that were like super expensive to try to like really, I don't know, just have the full experience of Red Lobster. And it was such trash, like the worst I've ever had that I just don't, I don't know.

I loved Red Lobster as a kid though. I used to do the like, it's not like fancy, but as a chain, like I think it is what I, I just saw a show recently, it was called Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner a show recently, uh, it was, uh, called Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner. And Lena Waithe was the guest star. And she was talking about Red Lobster and how meaningful it was because it made seafood

be associated with like fanciness and family in her mind. And it kind of did the same thing for me. So as a kid for my birthday, I would always be like, I want to go to Red Lobster. Like that was my fancy restaurant. And since then I've learned that like, you know, it's, it's not necessarily fancy, but it is still, I don't know, it's got that air about it for like if you can't afford crazy fancy things, Red Lobster is a big deal. I think also like if you're living in a place that doesn't have a lot of choices and you have a Red Lobster in town, then yeah, sure. It's like it's- It's meaningful.

It's like we're going for seafood tonight, kids. Yeah. Oh my God, what did I do? Did I get all A's? Like what happened? What a treat. That's like, it's- It's meaningful. It's like, we're going for seafood tonight, kids. Yeah. Oh my God, what did I do? Did I get all A's? Like, what happened? What a treat. That's so funny. Yeah, so I don't blame you for doing that.

The best part, I just was really curious of the experience. Personally, I didn't like the food. Their biscuits are what was so good about it. Oh, they're ridiculous. The little cheese biscuits. Yeah. No. Cheddar Bay.

That's the only reason to still go to Red Lobster. Yeah. I don't know, dude. I'm a big fan of fried clams. And how many places can you get a platter that gives you fried shrimp fried clams and fried fish hit me up red lobster when you're here you family i guess that's maybe one place that i wouldn't go again as a red lobster over over i guess the question of where would i go i definitely wouldn't go a red lobster if i had to go anywhere though i'm trying to think um around the world i don't

know but i've heard of this thing called an isolation tank, which sounds fun. We were talking about that the other day. I want them to put one in the Smosh cast room. That would be unbelievable. I would never exit it. I haven't done it. I need to find one. We're going to turn into Joe Rogan where we just have an isolation tank and a sauna and an archery range in our office.

Is that a thing? Really? Yeah. Oh, my God. You know, that's a man. That's a person. He took over Philip DeFranco's old office. Is that right?

The old SourceFed office. That's interesting. That's what I heard at least. Rumor has it. Never been there. Never stole anything from his office. You're an information broker. Where can I find Joe Rogan?

A little birdie told me. Have you guys traveled to every continent? No. And I don't mean tectonic continent. Not even close. Oh, of course. You can't go Antarctic. What would we be like? don't mean tectonic continent. Not even close. Oh, of course. You can't go Antarctic. What would we be like, do you mean tectonic or like the map?

Well, there's a lot more if you're going like tectonically and not just how we drew a map, but yeah. So I haven't traveled to the continent below Europe that they just found. But I was born in Europe. I live in North America. I've been to Asia now. Haven't been to Africa. Have not been to South America. Oh, and Antarctica. Yeah, I haven't. Oh, and Australia. Haven't been to Asia now haven't been to Africa have not been to South America oh and Antarctica

yeah I haven't oh and Australia I'm not I'm not very uh traveling uh savvy savvy yeah the one place I've went I'm already going back to so I feel like I feel like I should be a little bit more adventurous I I just you know I have I have concerns about safety and stuff. You know, there's also an issue with- But there's so many places to travel where it is safe. Like, where would you want to go that you're feeling, oh, it's just not quite safe to go there? I don't want to make rash judgments on places. So I don't really want to say a specific place. Because, I mean, anywhere in the world is-

Anywhere in the world, you know, save for maybe Syria and a couple other countries are relatively safe for travel. You might get robbed, but you probably you'll probably be safe. I heard this one this one tip. This guy said that I think it was Mexico. He said that cartels will sometimes pay off like people in the airline, you know, maybe a stewardess or somebody that's working the gate, they'll pay for the manifest. And then they'll Google all the names on the manifest. And if there's any important or rich people that show up on that, then they'll go and find the chauffeur that's waiting for them, tell them to either kick rocks or pay them off. And then they'll hold the sign.

And then the person lands, sees the sign, they get in the car, and then they'll hold the sign and then the person lands, sees the sign they get in the car and then they get kidnapped but I mean I don't think that's really like that's not something that any like regular old person should be worrying about. If you are a billionaire listening to this podcast If you're an amazing YouTube influencer type like

Ethan He Rocks Ethan He Rocks So this person said that they always travel on like a pseudonym. Can you, wait, can you do that? You can't do that on a plane. I wonder maybe within the United States. No. No way.

They check your ID 17 times. Especially 2020 on, you're going to need like certain biometrics on your ID. They're like, walk through this thing, hold out your ID, but keep your ID in the box. Now hold your ID. Like there's no way. You can have the chauffeur under the pseudonym so when they go looking for the show that's what it is yeah oh there you go it's the chauffeur the chauffeur is under a suit thank you yeah yeah because if he goes there like let's say his name was uh bill gates and i don't know i'm just made

up name and he goes there and there's a guy holding a sign that says bill gates he's like hold the fuck up i put my name on the show to the car service as Gil Bates. That's a trap. Got it. Gil Bates. Can you imagine? I think that trap is really funny. It made me think of like some sort of like movie, like, you know, Mile 22 situation where they got to set up this big CIA trap.

And like it all pins on like them holding the person's name and them self-identifying. Like that's the whole thing. They're going after Bill Gates. They just have someone at the airport on any day. Yeah. With Bill Gates. Just hoping. Just hoping that he lands.

Yeah. Interesting. That's it. Oh, you want to know a fun CIA thing? Sorry. This doesn't matter. All day long I like reading weird things. No, go for it.

Apparently at one point they invested in putting microphones on cats um in order to like put them out in uh i think it was when germany was east and west or whatever the wall was um around that time so that they could like gather information and put them at different embassies and stuff like that wow so they surgically were able to put a microphone in a cat everything it all went well and so the cia guys were like great let's test it but these people work all day long like in a lab underground and they don't get the normal world. So they released the cat to try to get information

on just the general public, just a small test. They just went and had sex with another cat? No, no, no. They did it at like 4 p.m. The cat literally within a minute left. They were listening to it in a van and they heard the cat meow,

then try to cross the street and then get run over. Oh no. Holy crap. So like they spent years and millions of dollars and they accidentally let it out during, like, rush hour.

I also imagine this, like, late 80s, early 90s microphones where it just looks like this, and it's just with a string tied to a cat's tail. Like, go on, normal cat. Yeah. And the whole mind is like, just trying to drag this heavy-ass microphone. I know they tried to, I think it was the U.S. government, they tried to train dolphins to, like, deliver bombs. That's so fun.

Just knock on, like, the submarine hatch. Just like. Who there? That was my dolphin. That was my dolphin. Not a bomb dolphin. Boss, it's just a normal English-speaking dolphin. Do we let it in?

Well, then open up the submarine door. He can't breathe unless you do. Noah, where do you want to travel? Okay, other than an isolation tank. Because we got like five minutes, so we can actually talk about it. Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, guys. I hope you guys enjoy Travelcast. I always derail things.

Where would I want to go? I would want to go places that I guess I know people or can get like a, not a special experience, but like when I went to France, it was nice because I went there to visit the family that my brother was marrying into. the dad is like a very very well seasoned chef well seasoned along with his food it was so great but in France it was really funny because there was no really help for disabled people if you're trying to use public transportation yeah yeah was like you know 30 stairs super steep and like super slippery underground in order to

get somewhere and somewhere else and there were a couple elevators here and there but they were all turned off it was kind of funny um traveling in that place and being like oh you couldn't really travel like my grandma she had two knee surgeries so for her it was very difficult but she's a badass like she was getting through it like it was really like oh this place isn't necessarily for you um to travel here other than that the only places i've been i went to to Sweden when I was a kid. Oh, that's so cool. It was nice. I would like to go there again because the seasons are so extreme.

It's pretty fun to like see how a world is different. Yeah. But where would I want to go? I don't really know. I guess the Redwood Forest was really, really beautiful when I went there, like Yosemite and stuff like that. Dude, that's close. Yeah.

That's like a place that I would love to go again. That place was actually just like really, really cool to touch these trees and to know like, wow, these are gigantic and big. And these are like babies. Yeah, the sequoias. Yeah. And they used to be huge, like huge and thick and thousands of years old, some crazy shit. And then Paul Bunyan came, you know, and made the Great Lakes with his bowl or whatever happened. So, yeah, I would love to travel to the Redwoods again.

Oh, nice. Well, the Redwoods are up in – because Sequoias aren't the same. Oh, are Sequoias not Redwoods? I don't think they're the same. My entire life as a Californian in my entire life, I thought they were the same. Sequoia National Park is definitely has Redwoods in it. Is the Redwood Forest, right? Yeah.

Maybe they're different trees though, but they're both in the same place. I don't know. I always thought they were the same. Maybe. Yeah. I want to go to – just firing off the list. I want to go to Japan. I want to go to China.

I want to go to Germany, France the list I want to go to Japan I want to go to China I want to go to Germany France England anywhere in the UK definitely Spain literally anywhere in Europe I one day want to go to

somewhere in the Middle East whatever happens to be you know politically things are changing a lot all the time so whatever at that time happens to be safest and most

accessible probably Israel definitely want to go somewhere in Africa I'm just going to say Iran definitely somewhere in Africa the time so whatever at that time happens to be safest and most um accessible israel definitely want to go somewhere in iran but uh definitely somewhere in africa um probably like to start with south africa and then like move up the coast want to go to brazil i want to go to peru i want to spend more time in canada because i only went there for a very brief time like and also there's so much of america i want to see that i haven't. So I don't know. I only started traveling really on my own as an adult last year. Because, you know, I was always like very paranoid with money.

I was always like saving because I'm like, I can't spend money on anything. Now I'm like, it might be okay to treat myself to a vacation once every couple of years or something, you know. I think that's incredibly important. I think so too. Oh, and Vietnam. I want to go to Vietnam. But back in time, right? Sorry.

Was that, that was not okay. Vietnam's beautiful. My friend. If you could travel back in time, where would you want to go? You can only travel back 45 years.

Who, who wasn't having some kind of conflict 50 years ago? I'm so sorry. The moon, the moon 50 years ago. Portugal.

I'm assuming Portugal would be fine. Portugal would be dope and they have amazing food. Oh, I want to go to like, I forget the name of the, if it's Basque or if it's, I know Basque is the people I'm pretty sure in the language, but I don't know what specifically you'd call the land. The Basque region. Basque region between France and Spain. I want to go there.

Oh, that's cool. Got some good food. Yeah. I would love to go to Vietnam. Like, I think it's my friend bought a scooter and, like, drove all through from, like, the south to the north. He didn't rent one? He just bought a scooter? Yeah, I think it's just cheaper to just buy, like, a shitty scooter. It broke on him a bunch of times.

Okay. But I guess you could just, like, go into a shop and be like, hey, can you fix this for, like, this much money? And they're like, sure. Vietnam would be cool. Thailand would be baller. Thailand would be cool. Thailand would be baller. Thailand would be cool. Cool to go to something like Shanghai. Do you know what all these places have in common?

They all love coffee. My favorite cup. I don't know. No, I thought you totally had it. Yeah. I thought you totally had it. What do they all have in common? Well, South of Vietnam and-

Oh, French influence? Well, south of Vietnam and Bangkok and Shanghai by 2050, we'll all be underwater, a new projection says. So will we. If we're at the same rate, California will. Nah, we'll be. The water levels are staying over there. I don't know. When I went to Utah really quickly, there's a lighthouse that I was told by the crew that was in Utah. There's a lighthouse in the middle of the desert where we were in the middle of nowhere.

And I was like, why is there a lighthouse? And they said, because that's the coastline when all the ice caps melt. Well, so the funny thing is, you remember those like old projections that said how high the sea level would rise? They found out that the satellite imagery that they were using was actually incorrect because it was seeing trees and it wasn't accounting for the ground. So they did another. So it's like 50 feet higher than before because they thought the canopy was the floor. Is that what you're saying? Yeah. So they think it's going to be a lot higher.

Oh, my God. So I would say if you guys want to visit some really great low-lying areas, see it now while you still can. Or, you know, look to volunteer in something that goes towards climate change. Oh, yeah, if Team Trees is still going on by the time we – Well, you want to hear a depressing thing about that? I mean... Sure. In order to reverse climate change with trees,

you would need over, I think it was something like 1.2 trillion more trees than we have right now. Guys, it's real. We all know it. It's the end of the podcast. We're all fucked. We've been fucked for a long time. This information that we all like to know has been around since the 80s. It's been around publicly since the 80s.

Even before that, it was researched by companies. The Shell Corporation, the one that destroyed the Amazon, so many other things. They've known since the 70s exactly what the air would look like today. Their projection for, I think it was 2016, was anywhere from 415 to 420 parts per million of greenhouse gases, whatever the way that we measure it is. And we were at like 418 in 2018. So they've known literally the direct projections. It's been going exactly how we've known for a very long time. And they've purposefully evaded the law and paid people off.

They should all go to prison. I love both of you. And thank you so much for having me here. I would love to travel to... Oh, we still have 15 minutes? Oh it's not the end okay great I mean that was a pretty good sign off and now I'm pretty sad so

I thought like 10 minutes ago you raised your hand like this showing like we had 5 minutes You know what the fuck it was? They were pulling lunch and I said 5 Oh okay Why wouldn't I have rapid fired my list like that? I want to talk about all the people I want to put in prison. Oh.

Yeah, I'm so sorry. That's the tone of my life. It's no Avember, guys. So sorry. It's crazy. It's like Gemini season, but with three times more conspiracies. I don't know. See, that's not a conspiracy, though.

That's what sucks. That's not even fake. Well, it is a conspiracy. It is. It's a, okay, not in the way that it's meant to be discredited. It's an act of conspiracy. Yes. There's the concept of conspiracy and then there's conspiracy theory. Like people can conspire. Conspiring is a real thing. Yeah, that's what happened. We can still have a conspiracy theory about something that could eventually then be proven as being true. But there is certainly the connotation of like all the birds died in 1986 due to Reagan killing them and policing them, of course. And Hannah Montana is really Miley Cyrus.

No, that one's been disproven. Really? Oh, my God. It was just a mental disorder? It's Hilary Duff, dude. Wow. Yeah. Holy crap.

That's where she went. Hannah Montana is Hilary Duff. Let the rain fall down. Yeah. And also Hilary Duff controls the weather. Wow. She's where she went. Hannah Montana knows Hilary Duff let the rain fall down. Yeah, and also Hilary Duff controls the weather. Wow. She's a government agent. Are you kidding me?

Have you ever seen Hilary Duff in the weather in the same place? Yeah. I haven't. Have you ever seen it rain around her? Yes, every time. Exactly. Because she controls the weather. That's why she's got that cloud above her.

Exactly. I'm just laughing at this podcast. Yeah. I want to visit the NSA headquarters they don't have windows they all use Mac I'm just talking shit now I'm making a joke on myself I want to go to Alaska

okay that'd be cool when it's not covered in mosquitoes I think oh what's the deal with that right now is it mosquitoes or flies I don't know what it is it's with the weather yeah when it heats up a little bit melting still water. People we work with are actually from Alaska.

Yeah, two people. Wait, who's the second? Jackie and Greg. Really? Jackie? Wow. She's from Alaska? Yeah, I started to talk to Jackie the other day. I randomly brought up the Iditarod, forgetting, and that's a dog sled race in Alaska, forgetting that she was from Alaska. And then when I said it, there was just like this silence and she just sort of stared.

And I was like, oh, I'm sorry. It's like this dog sled racing thing. And then she just chuckles and is like, yeah, I said it there was just like this silence and she just sort of stared and I was like oh I'm sorry it's like this dog sled racing thing and then she just chuckles and is like yeah I know it is I'm from Alaska and I was like oh I totally forgot and she was like my uncle raced in it and I'm like damn I'm a double idiot but to be fair like there was total silence when I brought it up it was like I did a run

oh it's a race you know you Alaska splained somebody yeah you mansplained her culture. I hate mansplaining, but that's like, blah, blah, blah, business and science. Oh, sorry, sweetheart. Business and science is blah. That's mansplaining.

But when you bring up a concept and someone just stares at you for a solid six or seven seconds, and then you're like, oh, I'm sorry. I should clarify. That's just normal-splaining, right? Maybe whatever you said just wasn't interesting. She just didn't respond. That's very possible,aining, right? Maybe whatever you said just wasn't interesting. She just didn't respond.

That's very possible, man. Yeah, that's pretty funny. I'm like you. I definitely over explain. Yeah. That's like where my brain is always. I feel like I always get stuck in this trap of like, just with people in general, I'll say a thing. And if I don't go into more detail, people are like, I don't know at all what that is.

What are you talking about? But then if I say the thing and think like, ah, I learned from last time. People don't know what this is. And I start to say, oh, it's this thing. People go, oh, yeah, I know what that thing is. And it's never, I'm never right. I'm always an asshole. You should take a vow of silence.

I would love to. I should just do that. I don't know. If Smosh keeps employing me. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What if we, this entire time right now,

conspiracy theory, Smosh has been milly vanillying the entire time. We don't talk, it's someone else VOing us. Shane is just in the background behind the curtain.

The whole time he's doing all of our voices. Each one. How crazy would that be? Oh my God, new conspiracy theory. Let's deep fake a new group of YouTubers.

Okay. We'll call them Team 11. Yeah. And we'll all look like Millie bobby brown we'll call them zoosh nobody's taking that name wow is that right yeah last night you were trying to start a new company zoosh like no it's already been made that was that was the uh that was the channel that logan and Paul started. Was it really Zoosh? Oh, yeah. Back in the day. That's so funny. Yeah, they tried to do sketch comedy when they were little kids.

I feel like I haven't heard of- It was adorable. I feel like I haven't heard of any travesties coming from those two recently. I feel like they're cooking something up. Well, Logan's fighting KSI again. Oh, neat. Well, there's also one other thing. Apparently, crap, now I don't know if it's in a music video or in a TV show.

It's one of the two, but there's, I think they have a TV show coming out, and in the pilot episode of whatever they're doing, there was a joke about filming a dead guy. There was something like that that someone was talking about. Oh, great. Dope. I'm glad they can laugh about it now. I'm the worst.

I'm Twitter personified. I don't know anything about it, but this one time I heard someone else say something that was like he filmed a dead body, and so now everyone don't don't like him with that being said i'm sure he's fine yeah no they'll be doing fine forever but yeah places i want to go i think i feel like we just don't want to talk about it today i want to go to logan paul's or jake paul's bank i want to go into their bank vault i imagine banks have vaults for rich people kind of like harry potter like scrooge mcduck diving into the coins that would clearly break his bones. Or like Mr. Krabs. That's where I want to travel.

Bikini Bottom. I want to travel to the Krusty Krab specifically. Oh, that'd be great. That would be great. They had one at Comic-Con. They had a full on Krusty Krab pop-up. Did they give you burgers? I didn't go. Okay.

I get really anxious at places like Comic-Con, so I usually make a beeline to a few specific booths and try to stick to the outskirts. And then sometimes I'll see something like, oh, from a distance, that's cool, but there ain't no way I'm waiting in line to just look at a SpongeBob thing. Uh-uh.

You know what they should do at Comic-Con and stuff? You should be able to rent a cherry picker and just go through the floor. They got tall ceilings. You should just be able to look really wealthy and effectively ride a giraffe. Yeah, one of those. And you just get a roll and get this really nice angle at everything. ceilings you should just be able to look really wealthy and effectively ride a giraffe yeah one of those and you're just you just get a roll and get this really nice angle at everything or well

because you'd be rolling people over so that wouldn't be yeah yeah that wouldn't be those are generally stop in the middle of the aisle like yeah what if you had a cable system and you were yeah you were a zip line you were like rigged up to this cable system and you then like kind of just hovered over everyone. Wow. I feel like the line would be overtaken by people in Superman outfits. You know, and you would have to have a weight limit and that would upset a lot of people there.

This is just for us. Okay. Yeah. Like, I'm sorry, where is the influencer zip line? Yeah. Which is the worst sentence anyone's ever said. That's unbelievable. Hi, sorry, the VIP trebuchet.

Can you yeet me to the other side of this? That'd be great. I would love that. That'd be crazy. Human canon. I would for sure watch an influencer get trebucheted across a football field size auditorium. Yeah, that'd be pretty dope. I volunteer Trisha Paytas.

I volunteer Trisha Paytas. I don't know I can't think of anybody that's so funny I feel like you could put any YouTuber in there and it would work anyone with more than

2 million subscribers and I think it's a punchline yeah hey in the writers room I'm pitching everyone with more than 2 million subscribers I want us to start

writing scripts like Mad Libs like we have a joke about some influencer blank gets shot across the room and we're like who could it be

and we all just go through and we're like alright so could it be? And we all just go through and we're like, all right. So Shane Dawson got launched across with a cannon into a pile of feathers. What did you guys get? The lights went out. When they came back on, I saw Russell Brand next to another YouTuber. Do you not, what are you? You know what?

The Dobry brothers? Who are those two brothers that don't, I know a lot of these. Unfortunately, there's Dobry. Unfortunately, there's four of them. You missed, you missed. They multiplied. Yeah. YouTubers pop up and go in and out of fashion so quick.

I don't know about in and out of fashion, but there was that girl who lived in the van. She's still in? Yes. It's a matter of like, you know, it is such an ever-changing landscape, but it's a matter of like

respecting it. Like some people are going to be like flash in the pan, but for the time that they're around, they still matter. They still have an audience that cares about them.

So it's sort of like recognizing that and just being like, all right, you know, it's still part of the community and, you know, so, and just hop, getting with the times, man.

I recognize they matter. I recognize their influence. I recognize their value. I just can't recognize their name if it was on a list in front of me without a photo. Because it is quick. It is quick. It's just what it is. It gets harder every year.

Yeah. To know, like, the people that are coming to VidCon. Because it used to be such a small community. And it's like, oh, yeah, I know, like, everybody that's coming. And now, obviously, it's bigger than just YouTube. It's, you know, TikTok and Facebook and Twitter. Oh my God. Did you guys, you guys hear that, that the U.S. government is going after TikTok?

For what? You hear that? Oh my God. The U.S. government, it was on the news. And for me, whenever it's on the news and my grandma's watching it, I know that everyone over like 45 that has a child just understood what was happening. And I don't even know if she was on Fox or something. But apparently the Trump administration is going after TikTok because they could be tracking all your movements and stuff because it's a Chinese company.

Oh, and there's kids underage. Well, yeah, that too. But they're actually collecting data in the same way that everything else collects data and then it's sold and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But they're afraid that technically everyone that has it in children, not that they could put content on it, but I guess they could use the positional data of like military people that are like on base and using TikTok and stuff like that. It appears that a lot of people are moving like this. Yeah. No, I think really what they're afraid of is like military personnel using TikTok and then them knowing what's going on. Oh, they know exactly where they are.

I've been using TikTok for like two or three months now. Yeah, but I don't know how real it is because also like six months ago they were like, don't buy any of these computers. I think it was like Lenovo or something because they have a Chinese chip. But the issue is, is it's like, great. You're only warning me when someone else is doing it. You dick. True. Tell me when you're doing it.

We can all work together and keep my information safe. That freaks me out. I also had like a credit card breach thing happen recently. So now I'm like super like, who's got my what? Yeah, that's crazy. You can be assured that the American government definitely doesn't have any of your information. So don't worry. Don't worry about it.

Don't be worried about any of your information. Look, it took me a week and a half to get a new credit card. Life was really hard. And there's only before the incident and after the incident now. Old Damien's dead. Oh, no. My credit union, you can print them there, but they print them without raised numbers. And it was so weird.

I have that now. Yeah. It was so strange. Someone tried to take one of those pressings because their credit card machine was down. I'm like, you can't do it. Yeah, now it's flat. And I didn't know if it's because they printed it right there or if it's the new thing that's so that's true that's crazy no one no one at pizza hut or anything can quickly yeah i don't know i don't

think anyone's doing that are people really doing that well someone's uh this doctor's office i go to their credit card machine was down so they there is an actual machine where they take a pressing of your card to charge later that's a real thing and but they couldn't do it so i was like let me give you my debit card. I'm scared of credit cards. They're all freaky. Yeah, they're like small and they're like a rectangle. Fuck rectangles.

You know what's amazing? Hexagons. Oh my God. Can we make a hexagon-shaped credit card, guys? Can we cast a thousand hexagons together so my credit card doesn't pop? Yeah, exactly. No, no, no.

So the card reader doesn't get pregnant with my bank. No, no, no. So the card reader doesn't get pregnant with my bank account information. That's right. And start printing out my money. Yes. Because that's how it works. So guys,

I think the big takeaway here is there's a lot of options out there for condoms. Do your research. I'm so sorry. November is not a fun month. Oh. I guess people don't,

people don't need to buy condoms in November, right? Because it's, it's no, no, no shave November. Oh, it's people don't need to buy condoms in November, right? No, no shave November. Oh, it's not no nut November? Why is November the month of restriction? When did this happen? Well, if you're Puritan, it's every month. Nobody actually does no nut November.

I think people under 18 do it. I think that's the only people. I feel like those are the only people worrying about stuff like that. Everyone who's like an adult can have, mostly can have an open conversation about things as long as you're not like in a business meeting. It's normally fine. I do feel like once you become an adult,

all those like, oh, you have tos go away. It's like, you're not wearing green on St. Patrick's Day. That's correct. I'm going to pinch you. If you pinch me, I'm going to slap you. Yeah, pinch me in your suit, technically. I can get you fired. Don't do that. Use a condom. Use a condom. I don't care. Don't touch me. Pinch me in your suit. Technically, I can get you fired. Don't do that.

Use a condom. I don't care. I don't care. If you say, just get over it. Seriously. Just wear a condom at all times. Just in case. You don't know what's going to happen. I think there needs to be a devil's advocate here.

Does there, Noah? As devil's advocate, I would say don't support the latex industry. Choose your words there, Noah? As devil's advocate, I would say don't, don't, um... Support the latex industry. Choose your words wisely, Noah. Uh, yeah. The oil industry has taken over our planet.

You should use beet condoms. Is that, uh, Beats by Dre's condoms? Yes, yes. It's $400. It plays a 30-second track of...

Yeah....of, uh, Chronic. Do you remember Hit Clips? It plays a 30 second track of of Chronic Do you remember Hit Clips? I do remember Hit Clips I think that was before your time Is that like when you used to pay for ringtones? Sorry, I know we're like tangenting way hard here but there was a thing back in the day

where it was a thing called Hit Clips and it was this little tiny device you can carry on you like a key chain and you could switch out these cartridges and it would play 30 seconds of a pop song. What?

You know, like an iTunes sample. The best part of that? And you would pay like $10 for one of these. Real money for this and it was not cheap

and everyone wanted it. Because it was like an mp3 player. Could you pick which section of the song? No. No. That's so funny.

It literally gave you a chorus. the song no that's so funny it literally gave you a chorus yeah and that's what you I wanted them just to put the bridge like just when the song is changing

where it's like no one can recognize what song it is guys you know this song and it's like amazing it's just the beginning of Darude Sandstorm

so it's like just right when it hits oh that would be horrible just the build up and no drop. Oh God. Blue balls. Well, guys,

this has been a totally unexpected and completely derailed podcast. Travel cast. Wow. I really enjoyed talking about all the places that I wanted to go to. Thank you guys so much for that opportunity.

But we'll come back and we'll do a real one sometime because I think it's good. I want to encourage people to travel and see the world and experience new things, new people, and eat lots of bomb food. So, guys, Noah, Damien, thank you guys so much for coming on this week. I had a great time. Thank you guys for listening or watching us. Smoshcast comes out every Wednesday on any of your favorite podcast apps and the highlight

comes out on Wednesday on YouTube. The full video podcast comes out Friday. And my favorite coffee, it's, oh man, it's so freaking good, dude. And I'm really enjoying all the responses that you guys have been sending me. You guys

are trying the coffee. You guys are loving it. Someone stopped me at Disneyland just to be like, I got the coffee. I like it. I was like, cool coffee. You guys are loving it. Yeah, someone stopped me at Disneyland just to be like, I got the coffee. I like it. I was like, cool, awesome. I'll tell you. Yeah, that's cool. See, that's so cool, man.

It is good coffee. I freaking love it, man. All right, we'll see you guys later. Bye. Thank you. Thank you. you