Smosh Mouth - S2: #47 - We’re Going to Australia!

Episode Date: January 22, 2020

Ian, Shayne, and Damien talk about the upcoming Smosh tour in Australia, debate about smelly tour bus logistics, and dive into why opening up about their dating lives can be hard for bros like them. Get your Smoshtralia shirt here (Available at 5AM PST)! All proceeds will be donated to Red Cross Australia’s Relief & Recovery Fund: http://bit.ly/smoshstralia Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Saturday night, went on a date. Sunday, brunch, date. Sunday night, date. You went on two dates in one. That's three. When I talk to other guys, it's still this very like man type way of talking about things, right? Where it's like, it's like, you're not, you're not really fully venting. Video game movies have never worked because video games are a lot like books and that you're going to spend 40 to 50 hours with a story.

And that's what makes you love them so much of a game where two hours you'd be like, this game sucks. Knowing that I go on a tour with damien and we know damien likes poop the number one rule of any tour is you don't poop on the tour bus first of all no no it's not you made that up that's thing number uh here is a list of spoilers for dang and rapa one oi it's a Danganronpa. What other games has the studio just made that? Spike Chunsoft, they've made a bunch. Okay.

I don't know. I have to look. Probably. Whoa. Welcome to the Smosh cast. Hello. I am Ian. And today I am joined by the two sweatiest boys in this office

I was gonna say hey, but for me it's probably Extremely sweaty Shane Topp and Damien Haas I'm the second one I actually don't think, I'm not a sweaty person I'm a sweaty man I'm not a sweaty person I haven't seen you sweat that much

I notice a lot of times, even when I work out, I don't sweat that much What? Because it's so easy I'm a furnace of a man,. I noticed a lot of times when I, when I, even when I work out, I don't sweat that much. What? Because it's so easy. I'm a furnace of a man. Therefore, I'm always cooking within my own bones. Therefore, my body sweats oodles. But I have very good hygiene. So you wouldn't necessarily notice.

You have a bunch of those pocket warmers inside your bones. Yes, true. Instead of bone marrow, you have those. That's the problem. I replaced all my immunity making bone marrow with gosh dang pocket warmers. Pocket warmers. It's so annoying. Don't you hate when you do that? I do. I hate that. All the problem. I replaced all my immunity-making bone marrow with gosh dang pocket warmers. Pocket warmers. It's so annoying. Don't you hate when you do that?

I do. I hate that. All the time. Well, I'll never ask you for bone marrow. Good. I wouldn't give it to you anyway. Not with that attitude. I hear that's painful.

Not sticking any of my damn bones. I don't know if I would. I would. Like, I would. Yeah, where was that going? I don't know. I was saying, like, to Ian. I don't know.

If he asked for some of my bone marrow, I don't know if I would. I think I would. Well, you gotta be tested for it to see if it's a if you're a good. If we have equal bone marrow. If we got equal marrow. If we have grade A bone marrow. Are you saying you think you're on a bone marrow level with this guy here? You think you can hold a flipping candle to the tallow within his bones.

I've never broken a bone, which means I must have good bone marrow. Power bones, my dude. Your marrow's never leaked. Nope. Never leaked my bone marrow. Have you guys checked Twitter? Shane's bone marrow leaked. Oh, man.

My bone marrow's leaked. It leaked. Who leaked it? Oh, dang. Guys, it's, I swear, as we get further away from Jan 1,

we will stop talking about looking back into 2019 and looking forward to 2020 but it is like you know this is still the beginning of the year and uh we're you know we we got to be you know thinking about resolutions but like resolutions are boring because it's like oh i want to eat less gluten. But what is everyone's goals for 2020? Well, I can tell you one. Okay. Definitely one.

I am determined, and I tried to do this last year and the year prior, but I failed. But I'm determined. I'm saying it out loud. I'm going to do the splits. Oh. By the end of this year, I will do the splits. Ooh. Yeah.

What's your game plan on that? Are you like testing flexibility every day? So I am. I'm trying to stretch every day. I looked up this. I'm looking up. There's like, you know, kind of like 30, do the splits in 30 days, which I'm obviously not going to do in 30 days.

But it's like, here's stretches that will eventually get you to that point. Wow. So I'm starting off, you know, making small steps, you know, just trying to stretch a little bit. Yeah. And is it hurting so far? You know,'m very very unflexible so it'll be a huge leap um you got to get those you got to get the um like the male lulu lemon pants so you can start like really getting your stretch yeah that'll help if i get yoga pants that i've actually that'll gain plus five to

flexibility yeah i think so real talk i think you might be starting from a place that would be more That'll help. If I get yoga pants, that'll make me more, that'll gain plus five to flexibility. Yeah, I think so. Real talk, I think you might be starting from a place that would be more difficult than most people because you are so physically fit. You've built a lot of like strong muscle on the frame you've already got. So now you've got to work past that. My tendons are extremely tight from-

Just sever them. Yeah, just sever my tendons. You know, I just thought it's gotta be so weird as a man to do the splits naked done it because like have you now yeah like like on a cold floor you're just saying slamming slamming the yeah slamming the pouch slamming the goods slamming those goods against the ground that's gotta be like yeah, yeah, what do you do? You drop in the groceries. What do you do? Drop an anchor.

Yeah. When I was in karate as a young'un, you could get different, like, stripes on your belt. And, like, blue was if you had, like, a good moment of, like, self-discipline. And, like, you know, black was for, like, the next mark on your test. And brown was for slamming that nuts against the ground. No, actually, that was white. White was for if you could do a Chinese split. And so I was able to only at one point in my life do that.

I think it's on my purple belt that I had a white stripe. Is it Chinese split where you're splitting with your legs forward and backward? It's side to side. American split is forward and back. Oh, interesting. Wow. So, yeah, but I would practice at home. And I'm sure at one point after a shower, I was like,

I'm all limber, let's give it a shot. And I probably plopped the old bean bag on the hole. So, Shane, you're going for a Chinese split then? No, I'm going for a split. I'm fine with any version of a split. Disclaimer, I feel like that's just what my karate studio calls it. Yeah, it seems a little insensitive. Well, see, now saying it may I feel like that's just what my karate studio Yeah, it seems a little insensitive. Well, see, now saying it may be, but I don't, that's

always what it was called. So if that's wrong, I apologize. That's how I learned it. I think, but I think that type of, I know the type of split you're saying, I don't know how to describe it. Like legs to the side. Yeah, I've heard that at any rate, that one's definitely harder to do, I think. I would think so, yeah. But I'm gonna,

everything that I've found online is like, hey, do this type. It's the one leg forward, one leg back. And then you eventually, because the other one, the problem is, I think, with the other one, my hips are so tight. And opening that up would probably take a lot longer than, you know, maybe someday. I'll make that maybe the goal

of the following year. Yeah, you got that massage gun. Just slowly, yeah, just beat my legs in the submission. I think you should do that. I'm fine with any kind of split. Look, we'll see. We'll see what I can do.

You can do it with your arms. I'll eat a banana split at the end of the year. Can you do this, Shane? Can you do this, Shane? Yeah, so you can. Oh, shit. Guys, he just did it.

I just did it. For the listeners, he just T-posed. Yeah. Damien, goals, 2020? I got a few goals. I want to get back into being physically fit. That used to be a big part of my life until I have, like, this hive condition that I've talked about here before. But, like, it sucks when you work out and all of a sudden, oh, hives.

But I've started being healthier this year already, and I'm down nine pounds, which is, like, woo. Voice acting-wise, I want to add, like, when you record video video games it's sort of on like a couple year cycle whether they're making like DLC and new content or it's just like that far in advance that they start working on it before it's released like you'll work on something for a few years so I want to add uh two games to my cycle of stuff that I just keep back working back on that's what I want and then otherwise how do you how do you work towards that like how do you then otherwise how do you how do you work towards that like how do you so that's your goal how do you work towards that taking more auditions i mean i take as many auditions as i can already just keep improving myself and playing what is popular

and trying to figure out what kind of vibe they're going for based on what modern voice acting sounds like and going from there and just voice better just voice just have a better uh throat sound voice gooder voice voice gooder and then last thing is uh like when i'm not here and i'm not doing voiceover stuff i do i do a lot of twitch streaming so i this past year has been awesome i started it during the defy shutdown but i feel like uh growth wise it's kind of plateaued a little bit so i would like i don't know this is a big goal but i want to see like the following double this year. I want to like, not just make it this thing

I do after work, but like focus more time into it. Like how can I plan events? How can I, you know, have specific things to go for? I'm a very casual person when it comes to stuff like that,

but it's like, what would it be like if I sat down and really like plan stuff out? So it's not necessarily more spending more time streaming, but spending it like wiser like like like making making a a bigger thing out of the time that you do spend

streaming yes which i think makes sense because to me as an outsider that doesn't really watch stream like i i understand streaming i get why people watch it but for me i don't know i don't really want to just watch somebody just sit there and play a game. Right. But if you were to, you know, eventize it, have it be more interactive, like that's something that I could definitely watch more. The interaction thing is already something that is like pretty, like I spend most of the time just talking to people while I happen to be playing a game. But it's like, how do I, that's sort of the point. There is a disconnect between the game and the interaction. How do I marry those two things? Or, you know, how can I have the interaction not just be like answering questions, but like,

what is today's topic or just something just like planning it out, finding how I'm different. Yeah. It's, it's something that is specifically mine. So what do I do with it? Yeah, no, I think that makes sense. And you're in complete control of it. So it's, it's pretty fun to be able to just be like, oh, I can do whatever. On the physically fit tit. Physically fit tit. On the physically fit tit. I think I want to do like a Spartan race or something this year.

So whoever wants to join, I don't know, man. Yeah. We can do it. What if we got one of those like red like radio flyer wagons and you pull me behind you while I eat peeled grapes? I don't know, man. If you're already, if you're already getting physically fit, it sounds like, I think, I think it's in like May.

It sounds like I've earned a treat. Looks like, sounds like we're going to do a Spartan race. So you've already, you've already done this research, Shane. Yeah. So there's a Spartan race in May. In May. And I think we should all do it. My knee hurts. I think we should all do it. My knee hurts.

I think we should all do it. Kevin, would you be down to do it? Of course Kevin would. Look at him. Kevin could do it. We could definitely film it. Ian, would you want to do it? Yeah, sure.

I think I talked to Courtney. Courtney wants to do it. I don't know, man. We got time. There's a lot of time to train. We're live on camera in a place where I can't really say no. Yeah, man. Let's all do a Spartan race.

You've got four months. But aerobic stuff is hard. That would take you. You could definitely do a Spartan race today. I guarantee you, you could do it. Is anyone else here winded after using the restroom? No? Then you don't know my life.

Look, man. Just saying. It's far enough away that if we didn't do it, people would forget. I'm just saying, it'd be dope. It'd be dope. We would all feel great.

You're getting, you're saying, hey, you're, you want, you pitched this to me as a Tough Mudder originally, which is way different

than a Spartan Race. So Tough Mudder, I guess, no, they're like the same thing. What? They're the same thing. Tough Mudder was easier.

I heard Tough Mudder was harder. Spartan Race is actually easier. They're the same. Pretty much. Oh. Yeah, it's the same exactly. Yeah. Okay. What did you think a Spartan Race was? they're the same pretty much oh yeah it's the same exactly

yeah okay what did you think a Spartan race was I thought Tough Mudder was basically like oh now you gotta

slip in some mud while we yell at you and Spartan race was literally just like a 24 kilometer race while people have like a phalanx

in front of you trying to block you through a small yes you have to wear a loincloth. If I'm correct, I think the Spartan Race is like, it's like, it's a 10K. So it's like six, it can be like six miles.

Yeah, they have 5K, 10K increases from there. Dude, if we did like a six mile with a bunch of obstacles in it, we could definitely do that. Six miles, that's it. But there's a lot of obstacles. The obstacles are tough. Yeah. I'll avoid the obstacles.

I'll just run it. What kind of obstacles are we talking about? It's obstacles where you have to help each other. So like there's a wall where like you can only get up it by other people

like help pull you up on top of the wall and then you have to turn back and help people like get up the wall. I'm definitely good at boosting but can y'all pull up a 200 pound man?

We have several, like several of us. You won't be 200 pounds. Yeah, man. By May, by May, you could be in, we could be in like Spartan shape. i'm 300 pounds of muscle of muscle then you can just hop over that wall with just just your leg strength damien like look we could definitely buy may

the spartan race could be easy for us yeah we could be we could become are we gonna become avengers guys like guys let's be spart. Should we be Kumail Nanjiani ourselves? Dude. Kumail Nanjiani. What a career. Yeah. What a career. What a topic shift. What a career Kumail Nanjiani's had. Look, I'm doing the Spartan race in May. Look, Shane, we're past that.

Kumail Nanjiani, shout out to you. Portlandia, Bob's Burgers, and now fitness? You're just going to forget Silicon Valley? Okay. So anyway, Bob's Burgers, and now fitness? You're just going to forget Silicon Valley? Okay. So anyway, Spartan Race should be real fun. Yeah, I'm excited for it.

Is Spartan Race, oops. Whose gosh dang phone is on? Whose gosh dang? Is Spartan Race, is that the one with the live taser wires? No, that's Tough Mudder. That's Tough Mudder. And I was looking forward to that. It's literally the same. You were down for Tough Mudder. That's Tough Mudder. And I was looking forward to that. It's literally the same.

You were down for Tough Mudder, which is the exact same thing. Yeah, but it sounds scarier when it's Spartan because they're not around anymore. What got the Spartans gone? Well,

they made a documentary about it. It was called 300. Yeah. Yeah. It's a great documentary. We figured out what happened to them. And then 302, Rise of the Lycans.

What? Rise of the Boogaloo yeah oh you're talking about Underworld got it that was the joke what? anyways yeah I'm excited I'm excited for us all to do the Spartan race yeah let's all do it moving on let's all do it wow what are my goals wow thank you guys

hey Ian what are your goals you asked the question yeah you're Hey, Ian, what are your goals? You asked the question. Yeah, you're the boss. Whenever I try to take control and be like, let's go on to this topic, people are like, Damien, learn your place, you idiot. And then I do. And then we hit you. And you hit me with rocks. Over and over again.

I'm going to rock my arm. Sometimes you deserve that. So, Ian, what are your goals? Oh, jeez. You have to think about it. You really wanted us to ask you. I was interested. Sex less. That's wanted us to ask you. I was interested. Sex less.

That's not possible, my dude. No, if you go into the negatives, that means you just take it away from other people. Oh. So you just keep knocking on vans that are rocking back and forth to go. Oh, you just like keep. Yoohoo. Yeah.

Toot-a-loot. Please don't. Have you ever like walked in on, have you ever like just like happened by like a random couple having sex before? I can't say I have. I walked in on a roommate once who was just clearly like, they were somewhere in the process, but they had heard the door open. And so it was fine, but it was just like, oh, hey.

And they're like, hey. I'm like, I'm going to go. And they're like, no, it's fine. Come in. I'm like, don't. That's cool. They were like, well, we're just taking a nap. I'm like, no, you're not.

And that's okay. You know what would be so funny? If like, cause they were just polite. Be like, no, come in. If you're just like, yeah, okay. Yeah. And then you just like go and like sit on the bed. It's like, how you guys doing?

People do that. You would not believe the day I've had. Yeah. Oh man. What are your goals? My goals. Find love. For real?

Sure. Yeah. Okay. I think, uh, you know, I'm not saying, I'm not saying like, you know, I will find somebody this year, but I'm making, I'm making the effort. I'm going on dates and stuff. Yeah. That's great.

I think, you know, who knows if I'll find anyone, but at least in all these dates I've been going on, I'm like figuring out, you know, things about people, figuring out what things I like about people, what things I don't like about people. Because if you don't actually get out there and like meet people, you don't really know what you do or don't like about somebody. And you start to spot things like, ooh, I don't like that. Ooh, not a fan of that. Do you mean just like personality traits or like the way someone reacts to something? Like how they smell? Like,

yeah. Like how they smell. Well, it smells like a real stinky, stinky girlfriend. Yeah. Yeah. If somebody doesn't smell good,

I'm probably not going to be down for that. Shallow. Well, some people it's nice though. What? Some bad smells in her. Acquired smell. Oh, probably. Like, oh, she smells bad.

No, she doesn't. Oh, so when cheese does it, it's better quality cheese. Yeah. See, exactly. Some people are like cheese. See, girls are like a fine cheese, you see. Yeah. If it's a flat or a squeal, a wobble or peel,

your dread's worn down or you need a new wheel, wherever you go, you can get a pro at Tread Experts. Conquer rugged terrain with on-road comfort. Until June 15th, receive up to $60 on a prepaid MasterCard when you purchase Kumo RoadVenture AT52 tires. Find a Kumo Tread Experts dealer near you at treadexperts.ca slash locations. From tires to auto repair, we're always there. TradeXpress.ca I feel like, Ian, you go on a... I feel like every day you're going on another date.

Yeah, you go on a lot a week. I'm afraid that one of my dates is going to watch this podcast and be like, what the fuck? Like, I swear there's been a week where you've going on another date. Yeah, you go on a lot a week. I'm afraid that one of my dates is going to watch this podcast and be like, what the fuck? Like, I swear, I swear, there's been a week where you've gone on five dates. And just to be clear, I'm not having sex with all these people.

It's always like a very casual, like you're just going and like meeting up and talking to someone. But I feel like you do it so much. I don't know how you even managed to find that many dates. Yeah, honestly,

if you live in the LA area, it is very possible you've been on a date with Ian Enox. Yeah. It's very possible. I'm just, you know, I'm just a catch, my dude. No, no. I mean, because it's weird, man. Like, when you use the apps, like, it's really strange. Like, there won't be, like, sort of, like, any response.

And then all of a sudden, it'll it'll be like five people have been like, Hey, and you're like, Oh, Oh, but I'm talking to this person too. Oh crap. I mean,

Saturday, Saturday night went on a date, Sunday brunch, Sunday night date. You went on two dates in one. That's three. But no, you went on two dates in one day.

Yes. That's, that's a lot. went on two dates in one day. Yes. That's. That's a lot. What happens if the brunch date goes so well that you continue to hang out with that person? I don't cancel. Day one. Whoa. Damn, man.

Like, I don't. That's crazy. I can't. It's not a bad thing. I'm just like, I mean, good for you. I couldn't do it. You're an extrovert. Well.

Because like making more than one plan in a day it's like i'm like yeah well i think yeah i mean i've i've found that like and this might have been something i uncovered in therapy that i like having things like look forward to so if i don't if i you know sometimes i feel like i used to like really relish and not having anything to do for like a whole day and now i'm becoming like less and less comfortable with that. Like I like to have something to look forward to. And also like meeting like a new person is kind of like an exciting thing for me. It's not really that scary. It's like, Oh,

I get to find out about this sort of human being. And in LA, you meet so many different types of people from different backgrounds, different cultures. So that that's been that's been very exciting i guess also for you like sorry to cut you off but uh you were also in a relationship different relationships but you were a person who was in a relationship for most of your life before this phase you're in now true because i feel like you were essentially for like a decade or more you were you were in a committed relationship so yeah i was in a i was in a relationship for six and a half years and then you were only single for like less than a

year after that right yeah yeah i was single and i was kind of dating around that was a little bit of my uh as we refer to as the hohen phase um the what where i was the hohen region of pokemon i think that's yes yes hohen phase okay a little bit of the hohen phase i the what where i was the hohen region of pokemon i think that's yes yes hohen phase okay a little bit of the hohen phase i feel like and this is terrible advice to give to people this is terrible i'm just gonna say i'm just gonna put it out there right now this is terrible advice if you're an adult and you and you've reached maybe the age of 30 and you haven't had a hohen phase and this is terrible advice and maybe this is, you don't have to follow this. But if you haven't had a ho and phase, that's weird. Both of y'all turn off your phones and your computers.

Sorry, it's just blowing up. It's like Kevin, look at Kevin, he's crying. Sorry, sorry, I'm getting texts from all over the place. So one of our friends that we know, they dated somebody for a long long long time uh it was not a great relationship and they didn't really know what a healthy relationship was and they didn't know like what they're into and so they as they put it through their dick to the city oh yeah chop off your wiener and throw it in a river. Yeah. I feel like we're going to cut all this stuff out because this is terrible advice. But I think, you know, when you are meeting a lot of different people,

like it's more than just like, oh, you like Pokemon, I like Pokemon. Like there also has to be other chemistry that you've got to align on. So you're saying you had that phase in between your two long relationships. So you got that out of the way. Correct. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like,

and I, and you know, you kind of figure out, I hope more about yourself and what you're into for me. Like I can't, I can't be intimate with somebody that I'm not emotionally connected to. I feel that. Yeah.

Oh yeah. I'm the same way. So yeah, I did, I did like two, like one night stands. I was like, this is terrible. Yeah same way. So, yeah, I did, like, two one-night stands. I was like, this is terrible. Yeah.

And so it was like, I figured that out very quickly and how unfulfilling that was. But I wouldn't have known that if I didn't go into my hoeing phase. That's true. And now I got the hoeing phase out of the way, so now I'm not, like, desperate for, like, you know, I'm not, like, trying, I'm not like trying, I'm not like scouring the dating apps to, for hookups.

I think what's tough is everyone's, everyone's love life is so unique to them. Sure. That's exactly what I was going to say. Whatever you say, it's terrible advice and maybe it is for everyone, but to translate sort of whatever the ho-in phase means to you, for you, it was like that specific way. Like maybe let's try a couple of one night stands. like sort of whatever the hoeing phase means to you for you it was like that specific way like maybe let's try a couple of one-night stands but if whatever you're into is like you know i just want to meet a bunch of different people and go on a bunch of dates that could be someone's version

of a hoeing phase sex or no sex yeah sure but like there should be a time in your life when you feel free to explore yeah maybe that's what yeah and a face to challenge yourself right if you're someone who's if you're someone who's terrified of meeting new people uh then it's like okay here you are you're single you're you're free like go do that do that to take those risks scare yourself or if you're someone who dates a lot because that's comfortable for you try then going a month or two without doing that giving because a lot of people don comfortable for you try then going a month or two without doing that because a lot of people don't date themselves they don't learn anything so they know a lot about other people yeah they don't know anything about themselves it's like okay go do that now

like yeah you know i people others people i know that that every day they have to be hanging out with other people or and i know people who spend most of their time alone and i think it's very important to challenge yourself and to to take those moments to go okay i need to push my my boundaries a little bit yeah and i think i think also kind of on that on that note people that are you know going through something they're they're unhappy with themselves that's the worst possible time to be trying to find somebody else because that's not, you're not in the right mental state. You can't,

you're covering up a symptom without actually dealing with the issue. Yeah. And then you bring that unhappiness into a relationship and then you try to use that person to make you happy. And it's like, no, no, no,

no, no, no. It's also, yeah. Depending on the type of breakup you just went through, like you might be in a phase where like, you're still that trust isn't there for other people or you're just not comfortable. Like, you know, it's OK.

It was interesting because after my last like long relationship, when I when we had that breakup, that's when I had my like own version of just like, I want to get out there and date. Like, you know what? This this girl from, you know, back in the day, I thought she was cute. I'm just going to ask her out willy nilly, out of the blue. And I did that like a few times. And then once I sort of cycled through that, that's when I was like,

now it's time to deal with the lonely. So I like, I had that moment of like, let's slap a little bandaid on this. Break up, nush, break up. Doesn't matter. And then, then it was like, yeah. It's like two, I think for, I think it's very much for dudes. Maybe I wrong but but i feel like for for dudes like us those first just say men

there's dudes is just all right all right you can just say for bros like we for bros like we okay like for those those first two or three months you're kind of like you know what cool like i'm living my life but i don't give a crap exactly and then it's like it's like that two or three month mark three months where it's like oh like it hits don't give a crap and then it's like that two or three month mark after where it's like oh like it hits and it's not the crying one it's not the like you're super bummed it's just kind of like this ah

it's like it's almost like a numbness where it just sort of sets in and you're like oh yeah this is reality now yeah and obviously maybe this is just the the hetero cis white male experience but but that does seem to be a very common thing where we're in in a relationship and obviously this doesn't apply for everyone but but it does seem kind of common where you know girl and guy

break up girl cries like goes through it all immediately and then gets better guys like oh everything's chill. I'm cool. Like whatever. Just because we broke up doesn't mean I didn't learn anything. What a cool relationship. And then, and then,

and then yeah, two, three months later, it's like, Oh God, I'm all alone and nothing. Yeah. I think it's also,

that's the, that's the timeline where you don't really get to like, I mean, honestly, you don't get to be a victim anymore. Like you're not like, oh, I'm going to break up. It's really sad. It's kind of like, all right, I've got to be over it. Everyone's, I can't really like dwell on it anymore.

I got to move on and I'm alone. And my life is very different than what it was three months ago. Yeah. Yeah. I was definitely not in any rush to get into anything after the last relationship. And I didn't even try until maybe like eight months. Maybe it's sort of like, you know, grief. There's the five stages.

And I think that's for loss of any kind, whether it's death or loss of relationship, loss of comfort, home, whatever. But, you know, usually it starts with denial. So maybe that is, you know possible you're not being like no it's not over but it's a different form of denial where you're like yeah actually everything is chill i really am doing great and then it's the the bargaining phase when you are asking out other women and they're like hey yeah let's just i'm time to figure something else out that's fine and then it's uh what is it anger weird depression acceptance i don't know if i ever had the anger whatever you know yeah you get what i'm saying yeah no for sure and i think it's also

guys or bros like we we're not we're not like allowed to talk everything out with with other bros like we it's true it's not it's not as normally accepted or we feel a little more reserved in talking about our feelings to each other. I feel like that's either I just live in a bubble where a lot of people are just more open emotionally and that is possible. Or I feel like that's changing. I feel like it's the kind of thing where like, you know, Jeff was pointing out to me recently. Like Jeffree Star made a video where he's like, no one's talking about mental health. And it's like, everybody's talking about mental health. Now it's the same thing where it's like, it's not accepted amongst bros. I'm like, kind of, maybe it is now like, or maybe that's just my friends. But I feel like if I talk about

feelings, everyone's kind of fine with it. I think LA is different. I think that's one of those things. Cause when I go back to Arizona or Colorado, the vibe is very different. Is it? It's very different. LA is a bubble. I mean, it is. And, you know, there's different types of bubbles all over the U.S. But I think for the most part still.

Yeah. And even guys who are comfortable, it's still different. You know, I think back on like when I talk to other guys it's still this very like man type way of talking about things right where it's like you don't want to sound like you're complaining you're not you're not really fully venting you're not saying what's what you're fully feeling you're trying to funnel them into a into a like yeah man I've been feeling really down and and you're still you still trying to be professional about your feelings. Oh, crap.

That is me too. Yeah. Yeah. So you're not, whereas you're not really letting out the truth. You're not really letting out like, I fucking hate the world. And this all sucks, which is what's going on inside. You go, you funnel that into, yeah, you know, I just, I'm working through it. And I'm really trying to.

Oh, you're just literally quoting me now. Yeah. Yeah. You're right. You know, it's really like, you know, yeah, you know, we're both people and we're trying to like, you know. Okay, okay. Yeah.

You got me. So it's still, it's still, it's still there. This is the Make Damien Uncomfortable podcast. You are talking, you were talking about facts, but you're not being emotionally fully. Yeah. And my version of being emotional about it is just being like, yeah, I mean, I won't lie. It sucks, but you're not being emotionally fully. Yeah. And my version of being emotional about it is just being like, yeah,

I mean, I won't lie. It sucks, but you know, and then I cap it off. That's still, wow. But that's like,

we, yeah, bros like we, man, bros like we, that's the new name of the podcast. Bros like we, bros like we,

yeah, but we're just playing. We, while we talk about this stuff. Okay. And we're like, bros like we, so Ian, find love is one of your goals.

Yeah, find love. It's a goal. That was a tangent. And I was thinking about it. I was like, okay, yeah, because you have a goal and you're always kind of like actively working towards that goal. And that is something that I have been doing. Also went on a date.

This morning. Monday. This morning. I'm on a date right now. Went on a date Monday. This is Cynthia. So I morning, Monday. This morning, I'm on a date right now. I went on a date Monday. This is Cynthia. So I did, yeah. I did Saturday, two Sunday, one Monday,

and I'm going on a second date tonight. So, okay, I said you go on like five dates a week and that was- Not always, but- Do you have any more dates planned for this week besides that well do you have six dates planned in within seven days no because i'm going to iceland yeah yeah so um so yeah that's another goal of mine good segue make it to iceland travel yeah very kind of you

to plan it for a sketch week yeah so that we get to just have to do more work so when this podcast comes out yeah you're technically

in Iceland currently oh that's cool well don't come looking for me Icelanders you won't find me Icelanders if you're looking for love

there's someone there looking for love oh Ethan find an Icelandic waifu. Date Bjork. Let's see. Benefits of living in Iceland. Free power or cheap power.

It gets dark real early sometimes. And sometimes it stays light for a long time. That's true. Yeah, it's very safe. Yeah, there's no apex predators. No apex predators. You get to see the aurora borealis sometimes. Yeah, sometimes.

If you're a good boy. There's fjords, and that's an extra J and a word that you generally don't need, and that's cool. That's true, but they have that elsewhere, too. They have that Elsa where... Nordic names. Us, please, please vote. So, Iceland.

I'm excited. I feel like i'm the last person on instagram to go to iceland i've never been um i've never been to iceland yeah it's never been okay all right all right it's it's interesting though because like i feel i feel like that like 2019 was the first year where now there's been and there's been this environmental guilt that's been placed on people that travel. Because air travel is extremely polluting. Now you have the royal family that used to always go on all these visits. And everyone's now like, oh, you're getting your private plane and polluting going all over. Like, I feel like there's a lot of people.

I almost went Trump there for a second. You did. I don't buy into that, to be honest with you. Like, I believe pollution happens, but I feel like in so many areas, the onus is placed on the average everyday consumer. And it's done by the people who are major, major manufacturers

or in pollute all over the place. Like they're these huge companies and these bigger sort of just entities that pollute in a very terrible way. But they sort of get away with it by looking at the consumer and be like, hey, have you considered using a different kind of straw? Hey, have you considered taking the bus? It's not that you can't do those specific things like carpool, like take the bus or bike to work and use different straws and all that stuff. But when it comes to something like air travel, what else are you going to do?

You know, it's private planes. Yes, don't do that. But if you've got like hundreds of people on a flight, carpooling basically to a cross the seas location, that's the best possible scenario. Yeah, it's kind of how they talk about how we people get shamed for like, it's like, use the seas location. That's the best possible scenario. Yeah. It's kind of how they talk about how we people get shamed for like, it's like,

uh, use the shower less. It's like if every single individual in California use their shower for the, the amount they're saying, it would not really, unfortunately impact that much because agriculture wise, like that's where it's like 90%. It's like,

they say like, there's like five companies that are are causing 80% of the pollution. See, I didn't even know that. That's what I was talking about. It's like, yeah, we can stop it all, but the factories, the manufacturing aspect of the world is chugging along. And obviously the argument for that is like, because they're talking about American companies,

getting them regulated and everyone's like, but what about China? Yeah. Oh, sorry, I had a burp. They're like but what about china yeah oh sorry i had burp they're like what about china and then this place in this place it's like yeah we need regulation like we need strong regulation on everyone because because there are other countries that are polluting more right and that are dumping a lot more waste in the ocean that's contributing to the problem in the oceans and obviously it's not an excuse it's not a reason to go well i don't need to stop i don't need to stop doing do everything you can but it's like it doesn't mean you can't fly to another country you don't

have another option you can't take a boat trip in a canoe across the ocean because it's saved i mean greta thornburg thunberg yes like great awesome but like not everybody can do that yeah it's also um she took a boat trip across the ocean to not fly? She does everything she can to not pollute in any sort of sense. Okay, but boats... If you have a job, you can't. It takes too long. Ships, I mean, large ships pollute heavily.

But I think she takes literally wooden... It was literally like a paddle boat situation with a little rotor thing. I don't know. Until there's a safe way to do that. Like she is awesome. This is not, this has nothing to do with her. I'm just saying like day to day, there are little things you can do.

And then there's some things that are a little bit non-negotiable. Yeah. It's also when people, when we, we can call out people for so much stuff, but it's actually, the problem is the foundation of being a human being right now is, is placed upon bad stuff, right? Like, okay. If you want to stop being contributing to bad things,

you need to stop using a smartphone because the way they're manufactured, the labor and everything, most of your clothes probably. And if you want to have something sustainable, like food or clothes or whatever, it's so expensive because someone had to like whittle it by hand and, and going vegan. Sure.

That's one thing, but also probably most of the other food that you're eating is also like contributing to bad, to pollution. I mean, going vegan isn't going to, isn't going to save the environment tomorrow. But there's also,

there's just so many things that are using, like, you know, there's petroleum, petroleum is used in a million things besides cars. Like it's, it's, it sucks.

You can't really exist in the exist in the modern day without it. And if you do- Our existence is unnatural at this point too. We are a blight on the earth. And no matter what we do, we're always going, I'm seriously, we are always going to be a blight on the earth. So you mitigate that as best you can. And speaking of blight on the earth and the environment,

I almost fricking forgot. Oh yes. Guys, we have been wearing these shirts that say it's Smosh Australia we are going to Australia in March and we are going to an event called Supanova

it's kind of like a comic con of Australia I think we're doing two different dates we're going to do kind of like a little try not to live try not to try not to live try not to live, uh, live, uh,

to live, um, live show, uh, two places in Australia. Uh, but we are also selling these small Australia shirts. Uh,

100% of the proceeds go to the red cross in Australia, uh, helping towards those terrible, terrible fires. Uh, we love. We love Australia. We love all our Australia peeps. And we love Australian animals. We do.

And I want to see them alive and happy. So let's all help Australia. Love y'all. Love y'all. Love your accents. Love your deadly animals. What are your guys' favorite? What's your guys' favorite Australian animal?

We obviously all have the same one. Let's say it on three. One, two, three. The quacka. I knew someone was going to say quacka. Okay. What did you say? A keepa.

A keepa? What's that? You never heard of a keepa? A keepa the fish? No, a keeper. Oh, you got to be careful if you see a keeper. Yeah? They're right angry all the time.

And if you look them dead in the eyes for over three seconds, you get diarrhea. You're thinking of a gorgon. No, it's a keeper. Keeper? A keeper. It's got fins, but it's on the land. Whoa. And it's very conservative.

What is happening? Oh, yeah. Everyone who lives in Australia, definitely in the video version of this, comment down below about how your experiences with a kippah. Is it like a drop bear? No, it's real. It's a drop bear situation. It's real.

No, drop bears are very real. Put your favorite kippah facts down below. Shane, are you aware of drop bears? Yes, I'm aware of drop bears. Yeah, you got to watch out for drop bears. But a kippah, way worse. Okay. Way worse.

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cassowary. Yeah, because it's a bird but it's got a big old bottom and I just want to use it like a pillow and it also looks

like prehistoric which I think is pretty rad. It would be a cassowary or an echidna or a platypus. A platypus is a native source. Or like a kookaburra. Yeah, they're in the billabong. Yeah, or like a kookaburra or like a wallaby.

Okay. Or like that red-backed spider. They got so many like cool animals. They got a lot of crazy stuff. Like shit just went crazy in Australia. Love it. While other animals were being basic as fuck on the other continents. I mean, Africa is doing pretty good.

Pretty dope. Yeah, they had a horse that got a really long neck. Big whoop. I like munt jack deer with the big old teeth. Sorry. Okay, yeah. But yeah, yours is a quokka. Yeah. I better know why. Because they're the cutest fucking little rodents ever. Because they give big old teeth. Sorry. Okay, yeah. But yeah, yours is a quokka. Yeah.

I better know why. Because they're the cutest fucking little rodents ever. Because they give big old smiles on the camera. They're like, they live on this island that has no predators, so they're not afraid of humans. And they're a rodent, right? Yeah, they're the largest rodent, right?

No, no, that's a capybara. Capybara. Everybody knows that. Capybara. A capybara. But quok. Capybara. A capybara. But quokkas, so they're not afraid of humans, and you can just like walk right up to them, and they have like a smile.

Like they look like they're like smiling, and they're kind of like chubby, and they're furry, and you can just walk up and take a selfie with them. They're just like, hey. Do you know why they call them capybaras? Why, Shane? Because if you hand it a book, it goes, why they call them capybaras? Why, Shane? Because if you handed a book, it goes, oh, can I keep or borrow it? Oh.

Are you okay? I'm a keeper. I want to yes and you so bad, but I'm just not sure where the context is. And I don't know how to do this. There's none. Buy the Smosh Australia shirt. Yes. In stores now.

All the info is down below for the Smosh Australia shirt and the Supernova tour. Very excited to go back to Australia. I like that place. I've never been anywhere. You know,

speaking of which, oh, if we're going to be putting each other on the spot on this year's Smoshcast, Shane, we have been talking about planning a Germany trip

for half a year now and every time I say let's meet up this weekend you're like, yeah, definitely, we'll definitely do that. Then I hear nothing.

Okay, that's on both of us because then we both don't text each other. I'm going to say it's 60-40. Where are you guys going to go?

Are you going to go to Dusseldorf? I mean, probably. I don't know. Maybe Stuttgart? I don't know. Yeah, with our Eastern European accents, I guess. See, whenever I bring it up to someone...

This is Eastern Germany, you know? I don't know if Stuttgart's in. Yeah. But Dusseldorf is. Should we go... I'm also wondering if we just go ham and we do Oktoberfest. Because I've heard it's worth it. I've heard it's worth it.

It sounds awesome, i i thought we were going to travel like mid-year like closer to summertime because that's a time where we don't have much for smosh and october is usually smack in the middle of sketch time that we're batching before holiday i mean that's more november ian's literally going to iceland during a sketch but he's the boss he can do he could spit on me and we'd have to say good job sir but if we planned it now then they then they plan far enough advance and we have the president saying hey you could do it so he's saying what am i supposed to do in may go to japan again by myself okay um can i come no see that's the problem now we've got tag alongs no i'm just kidding yeah man um

yeah dude yeah well what if shane and i go go as well, but you go on your solo thing? Good luck translating. Oh, fuck. He's got me there. Well, you just talk in a German accent. If you drink enough beer, you can understand. Ja. Ja.

See, I did it. Ja. I'm speaking German now. You sure are. Deutschland. You did it. If you just do the accent sure are deutschland you did it if you just do the accent they love that posha they love that that's the thing it's so funny so good any country you go to if you just try to do their accent if you try to do an accent they love it i

get it's so it's so bad like um the the two times that i've been in england I start making, I start just like imitating the accent, like not in front of people, but like offhandedly to like friends, like while I'm there, I'm like, fuck, I probably shouldn't do that. You're that jerk that gets back after like four days and is like, oh, I'm sorry, where's the loo? Oh, I'm so sorry. I've just been spending time in England.

In England? Heard of it? Yes. Sorry, I'm just one of those people that, you know, I just like pick up on the accent, like, you know, just very... I'm looking for the water closet. Oh, I'm just one of those people that, you know, I just like pick up on the accent. Like, you know, I'm just very... I'm looking for the water closet. Oh, I'm sorry. Where's the loo? I spent a day in Toronto. I was in England.

I meant bathroom go-go machine. Hi, where's the shitter? Sorry, I was just in Arizona. I was in Alabama. Sorry, where's the shit gobbler? I am afraid I was in America, as they call it. The go-go-boo-boo suck machine.

The doo-doo-go-go-boo-boo suck machine. Oh, no, that's the International Space Station. Oh, that's right. Because that literally sucks your poop. Yeah. What if it was like Flintstone style and there was just like an animal that had to like,

like next to the station and was just like, eh, it's a living, you know? And you think you have a shitty job. You think you got a shit job. Pelicans. How do you deal with diarrhea in space? Speaking of diarrhea.

I feel like it'd be easier. You gotta go? Oh, speaking of diarrhea. Oh shit. I don't know that that video won't be out yet, but we can still talk about it. So,

so we did another um spicy video on smosh games it's for valentine's day so it's very romantic um where some of the chocolates are very romantic heart chocolates regular and uh some are chocolates with Carolina Reaper pepper. But here's the crazy thing about it. We've done spicy things before. And often we use ghost pepper. That is a fine standard where everybody knows that's not to be messed with. And we can all appreciate that's a lot of spice.

And so we were told it was spicy chocolates. So when I ended up having one, I was like, oh, this is immediately hitting different. And I was like, this is great because I cook with a little bit of ghost pepper sometimes. It's got great flavor. I'm used to spice. So afterwards, we were like, what is it? Like, how much did you use? And they were like, oh, some had ghost pepper.

Some had Carolina Reaper and some had both. And I'm like, if we're going for Carolina Reaper, why wouldn't we say that in the video? That's clickable. I know. We if we're going for Carolina Reaper, why wouldn't we say that in the video? That's clickable. I know. We didn't know going in. But we knew when it was coming out because my booty screamed lava for days. So it's been about a week now since we've done it. And I don't think either of us are still shitting right.

I'm still a little rough. It was the kind of thing where like the first night when i kept trying to go back to sleep um i would like get back into bed and be like shivering even though it's not that cold and even if i was laying on my stomach or my side it would be like hot hot hot hot it was that sucks yeah i spit it out well Well, and I made it worse. And I made it worse because then I got like a day or two later, I went out and got spicy margs with Courtney. So I had two margaritas that had habanero peppers in them. You're just trying to just end it. Yeah.

And I think my body was like, whoa, come on, my dude. I'm not even done with the last thing. So it's been an interesting journey. I'm trying to get my shits right before I go to Iceland. Eat those probiotics, my guy. You're going to a cold place. So you can use some snow on your butt. Oh, okay.

Just shove a bunch of snow in there. My concern is there's just not a lot of bathrooms from place to place. Is that a thing? Well, there's just not a lot in between towns, you know? Just pick a fjord and go. Oh, you're right. Is that a Norway thing? Am I about to sound like an idiot?

I'll just let one loose in the Blue Lagoon. Make it a brown lagoon. Hey! Speaking of poops, you know, we got our tour coming up. And we're going to be on a bus together. There's already been established rule that there's no pooping on the bus. Yes. But immediately there has been contention about it.

Yeah. There's a little contention. Look, look, we knew, I knew, this is one of the first things that I thought about. Like going, knowing that I go on a tour with Damien and we know Damien likes to poop. And the number one rule of any tour is you don't poop on the tour bus. First of all, no. No, it's not. You made that up.

Thing number two. Talk to any musician. I would never. Ian's best friend with the Foo Fighters. Let's all just acknowledge that the best restroom experience you ever have usually is when it's your own and you're in your comfort of your own home and you don't have to worry. So that's always a nice experience. But the next best thing, if you're traveling is like your own hotel room or something like

that. So for the two, for us, that's what the tour bus more or less is. It's your own hotel room. Here we go. So we're going to be doing a bit, I can probably just say what we're doing. We're, you know, how Ian and I like rate foods, like how foods like how we did the in and out in the 31 Baskin Robbins We're gonna do that with like local specialties find out like what the city is known for whatever So basically the Dante's Inferno style punishment

They've concocted for me is you're gonna have five new kinds of food that you've never had before We're gonna stuff you chock-full of it And then you don't get to go poop on a tour bus where there's a perfectly good toilet and you could immediately flush and no one would be any the wiser. Have you ever pooped on a bus before? It's not perfectly. I've done it. It's not great. I've pooped at a bus, good sir.

And so like Squashed your butt against a greyhound and just... I've done it. As it was moving since leaving the street. Hey, it takes skill and I have done it. But people are like, we could pull over

at a McDonald's at any time. I'm like, oh yeah, let's go into a rural fast food location where it's only like truck stops. And it's only McDonald's poops. I guarantee you that's going to be better. It's not.

It's really not. I will light a match. I will immediately flush. Poo-pourri. Try it out. Spons immediately flush. Poo-pourri, try it out. Sponsor us, Poo-pourri. We should just have candles in the bathroom. Also my dude doesn't smell. Okay, okay, fine.

The scent sticks, the incense. Incense. Look, I'll be honest. I have, I am not, I don't care that much. My guy, my dude. I do not care, but I also don't have a great sense of smell. So I don't think it would bother

me if anyone dropped a hot one in the bathroom. The first tour is in Washington, and then we go down to Portland. Right. Sorry, Seattle to Portland. That won't be too bad. That'll be, I don't know, like a four-hour drive, five-hour drive,

something like that, but the real test is Portland to Sacramento because that is a 10-hour drive. Is that really that long? It's around there. But what about Sacramento down to San Diego? Oh, that's also pretty long. But that's eight hours maybe. Yeah.

Yeah. So 10 hours, 10 hours. But let's stop. We're not going to go 10 hours straight. And the hope is we're sleeping. You don't poop when you sleep, right? Not usually? I mean, not anymore.

I've worked past it. But are we driving overnight? I thought we're staying at hotels. We're driving overnight. We're driving. See, that's the thing, man. We're sleeping on the tour bus and we're going into hotels just so we can like shower real quick. So there's no like true time of comfort.

We're always sleeping on the bus and you only can poop during the time when you're also going to shower. What are the bed situations like? Oh, they're stacked on each other bunk style um while we're moving and driving and you can hear the road and i'm not allowed to poop i want to apologize in advance to the shows where we just show up and we're dead tired yeah damien's crapped his pants this is this is this is this is part of the joy of being out to laugh this is part of the joy of being on the road. Also, every musician's like, fuck you. I had to sleep in a tiny van.

Great. We got a big ass tour bus. We got a bed. Listen, I do think regardless, Damien needs to have the bed close to the bathroom. I agree with that. Yeah, I think that's fair. I want the bed furthest away from the bathroom, furthest away from the smell. I just want to let you know that I'm not doing this to be malicious, but if i'm on a tour bus and i have to go to the bathroom and

there's a bathroom right there sure i'm gonna straight up do it i really am um it's fine you don't care about the well-being of everyone else i really don't um and i'm gonna immediately flush i'm gonna immediately flush and we'll use poopery what how is it different that we have toilets here where you we should just we should just break a window on the bus and have them just eject out the window well isn't it also a thing i mean it's a thing for the people operating the bus that they have to clean that like they have to there's a system of the p1 is different than the poop one or no it's the same it's a septic it's a septic tank yeah i mean yeah i don't know it's this is mainly about the smell right smell it's the smell thing but i also it's not like i'm eating exclusively brussels sprouts and milk like it's i'm eating normal food we don't know that yet i

have great fiber intake so it's just usually one and done flush yeah it's kind of red link red link did give us one one solid piece of advice they said um metamucil they said it's it's your shits just aren't great on the road. So they suggested fiber. And did they go on the tour bus ever? Probably not. Really? Probably not.

It's a universally accepted thing. You don't poop on the tour bus. Where are you getting this? We should ask them. Every person that's been on a bus. The thing is, I'm one of those people like, it's very easy for me.

I'm a once a day person. I'm thrice a day at least. I'm up to two so far. I'm once a day, man. It's either early in the morning or the last thing. I'm regular as a Swiss watch. I mean, I wouldn't say

three times a day is ordinary. That's not abnormal. You eat three times a day. Why not poop three times a day? I mean, I agree with that. If your intestinal system was just a straight shoot down. It's like prunes through a goose. Just send it on through.

Dude. Yeah. This is the grossest podcast we've ever had. I'm designed for life on the road because, yeah, it'll be easy for me to wait for the right times. We'll see. And also, we're doing literally five shows. This is nothing.

This is a piece of cake. This will be so easy. It's really like- Cut to us dead. Yeah. But it's like, yeah, usually tours are pretty rough because people are doing like weeks on end and they're just eating garbage the whole time. Because you don't, there's no where to really get

like healthy food on the road. It's not usually the number one priority. It's just like, I just need sustenance. Give me pizza, which sounds awesome right now. Bless you. Bless you. This is the grossest conversation. So I will say, Damien, I fully support your need to poop. I'm just saying.

I will do my best to not while we're on a tour bus. It's not like you're actively like, I'm going to shit in this bus. I'm not going to block the door. Yeah. You shall not pass. And I'm also not like locking the windows and be like, get ready to smell something weird. Oh, there aren't any windows. What's up?

There won't be any windows to open on the bus. What does this bus look like? I'm guessing it's like a kind of like, I don't think those, I don't think windows open on those big buses. Right, Kevin? Emergency windows do. Yeah.

Yeah. So you want a bus to bust open an emergency window but this is a situation I think the thing that we're gonna have to decide early on is like do we either want to

let Damien poop on the bus or do we want to have to stop every now and then right like and that well but he doesn't want to stop

because he doesn't want to shit in a McDonald's but also but like if that was but even I don't know if I want us to stop

either because I'd rather us just get to the next town just get to the thing yeah it sounds like the only person that was in any way opposing me going to the bathroom on the bus was you. And then you've just said, I fully support it. So this is a non-issue.

Also, comment down below, poop rights for everyone. I think here's what we'll do. All right. Can we agree on this? All right. On the first leg, Seattle to Portland. Let's give it a shot. That's only four hours.

Whether or not you need to poop. Can you go four hours without pooping? I'm not. No, no, no. I want him to poop. I want you to poop, Damien. I need you to poop on the bus on that first leg. So we can see how bad it truly is.

I'm not a very schedule-y person. You want me to plan out a month in advance when I'm going to take a poop? Start now. Heaven help the man. Well, we're just saying if in a four-hour span, you feel like, you know, I don't have to, but I could. I could at any time, but that's the thing. Well, then if you can at any time, then do it. It's all I'm thinking about right now.

As soon as we're done, I'm going to go do it. So in that four-hour span, you're going to be able to go to the bathroom. Yeah, sure. So then we're saying do it. Great. Yeah. Easy. It's great. And we'll see how bad's great and we'll see how bad it is you'll see how bad it is and then if it's not bad then hey then it's all good my dude i'm gonna be so mad if it's the highlight

i don't think we're doing we're not doing we're not doing highlights oh good yeah that got flushed down the drain like your poops on the tour bus thank you I god you all went crazy see I'd rather do it from the comfort inn

what at a hotel oh got it no they're they're getting us the four seasons oh shit they better

nope what I don't know how much time we got do we have time for me to poop before that

do you need to poop right now I can wait I can talk I can talk now I can talk to Shane go poop dude it'd be funny let us know how it smells bring a little jar in here so we can feel what it's going to be like on the bus

can you bring us a stool sample I can bring you a tiny stool that's funny that's funny alright let's pick any other topic. If it's a flat or a squeal, a wobble or peel, your tread's worn down or you need a new wheel, wherever you go, you can get it from Tread Experts.

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to auto repair, we're always there. TreadExperts.ca You know, new year, new decade. Any predictions? Oh, yeah.

I want to do a little thing. I want to do a little thing here. So I used to, on set, I used to call it when I think we would wrap. And I used to be very accurate a lot of times. Like, I would be calling it. And I would say, like, all right, I'm calling it 6 p.m.

So I'm going to do that starting now. I'm going to call it for a lot of things. Kind of already did this on Smosh Games, but I already called that there would be a Chiefs, Niners, Super Bowl. But none of y'all care about that. But something I am going to call, and this might seem obvious to a lot of you, but I don't know. I'm still calling it. Uh, the trailer for Black Widow came out, right. And, uh, looks really good. And, uh, the actress who plays Scarlett Johansson's or Black Widow's little sister, uh, her name's Florence Pugh, really awesome actress got

nominated. I am calling it that they're clearly setting it up for Black Widow is not going to come back she did die in Endgame

and spoiler she did die I forgot she died yeah but that's the thing that's how little her character mattered but like everyone was like

oh she's coming back like they're reviving Black Widow it's going to be a thing but I don't think they are I think Scarlett Johansson's done with Marvel and I think Florence Pugh is going to be the new black like they're gonna set up a

thing where it's like oh I'm her younger sister I'm now Black Widow they're definitely doing that for a lot of it's it looks very obvious I'm still I'm calling it because because Florence Pugh is literally a 23 year old Scarlett Johansson yeah she has a deep voice she's like attractive got gotten Oscar nominations it's like perfect and also it's like you, got, gotten Oscar nominations. It's like perfect. And also it's like, you know, Scarlett Johansson, the,

the black widow series obviously takes place before the Marvel movies. Right. Yeah. So it's like, it's kind of weird that now 10 years later, she's got to play a, a version of herself that was younger than when she started. I don't know if it's,

I think it might just be in the middle of it all. Oh, okay. I don't think if it's, I think it might just be in the middle of it all. Oh, okay. I don't think it's necessarily like before. Yeah. Like I think it might even take place during like winter soldier time. That's what you're calling it. But I'm thinking,

I'm calling it that it's like Black Widows. They're going to reveal like this is, you know, she's done, but they wanted to give her her own movie. So they've been asking for it forever. So it's like, we're going to finally reveal everything about Natasha. It's going to be like, holy crap.

But then it's going to be like, no, but she's gone. And now her little sister, who's going to finally reveal everything about Natasha. It's like, holy crap. But then it's gonna be like, no, but she's gone. And now her little sister, who's going to be mostly like kind of evil throughout the movie. It's going to be kind of like, I don't get like your whole deal with the Avengers and all that bull crap. But then at the end, she'll be like, oh my God, my older sister. I totally get it now. I'm going to take up the moniker of Black Widow, which is also what Marvel's clearly going to have to do when you have to replace actors. Iron Man,

Black Widow, Captain America. These names will stick around, but they will be different people. I really hope Iron Man. They always done the comics. Cheaper people. I hope Iron Man becomes a, I hope it's a Black Panther's little sister.

That would be, that makes perfect sense to me. Like the smartest person in the world makes suits, like uses hand blasters in the movies that she's been in come on like put give her she is and then the end of black panther she's in california like they make sense it feels like they set it up but also not so i don't know i think she'll be involved somehow i don't know if she'll be the next iron man yet right they still have her being like such a kid yeah um but that's also what you do.

Like you, well, you have her do that. You have, man, you have someone else become, I don't know what they're doing with like Hawkeye and stuff, but you could set up a Young Avengers situation too. But I'm not calling that. So you're just calling. I'm just calling that Florence Pugh is going to be the next Black Widow for the next like 10 years.

Florence PewDiePie. Nice. I got one, I guess. Also, also movie related. Oh. I saw the trailer, the Morbius trailerie. Nice. I got one, I guess. Also movie related. Oh. I saw the Morbius trailer yesterday. Yeah, yeah. And it looks like a big old steaming hot pile of garbage.

Wait, is this also a calling it? Are we all calling stuff? Yes, I'm calling it. You can if you want. You don't have to. It was just my bit. So I'm calling that. When does Morbius even come out?

Oh, July 31st, 2020. You're calling that it's going to be bad? I'm calling that it's going to get a worse IMDb score than Venom. Ooh, that's a good call on it. Wow. That's a good call on it. Calling that it'll probably be about on par with its Rotten Tomatoes score, which is 29%.

Oh, wow. I didn't see Venom. I didn't see Venom either. I heard it was fun. But Morbius is like, what? He's a vampire guy. Also, it's Jared Leto. Does anyone care about him that much anymore?

He's an interesting character. I don't know that much anymore he's an interesting character I don't know alright I'm calling it calling it Morbius is gonna be trash we need to keep we need to keep tabs

on this and get a tally so if people are calling stuff and it's accurate then it's like okay did you see the

did you see the trailer for Morbius I did I don't know what to think of it it's got the I feel like we're probably going to call it another thing. I feel like we're on the precipice of a new trailer trope.

Because right now the trailer trope is a lot of like slam noises. Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. Literally the Black Widow trailer. The Black Widow trailer. It's the new like, blah, from In bum. Bum. Literally the Black Widow trailer. The Black Widow trailer. It's the new like, Yeah, it's the boom. Yeah. Or the foghorn.

Or do you remember the single piano key note? Yeah. Bing. We gotta save everyone. Bing. Oh, no. We are in the slamming. So I feel like right now it's just like,

dun, dun, dun, dun. Dun, dun. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. That's dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. That's definitely. And the Morbius trailer is just like all that shit. It is a lot of it. I don't know what to think.

I think Sony's trying to just use every single property they own. They're like, what do we got? Venom and we got Morbius. Wait, is Morbius part of the Marvel? So it's part of the, it's connected technically to the MCU

because it's connected to the, it's connected to the Spider-Man Far From Home universe. Oh, okay. Only that, only that aspect. Somebody pointed out like, yeah, he's a vampire. He's not technically a vampire. He is, but he isn't. He's not actually a vampire, but he is a.

But he needs blood to survive. He is, he's essentially, he has all the traits of a vampire to a certain extent, but he's a scientific, he's like the Hulk if the Hulk were more like a vampire got it it's a science based so he's a vampire

but he didn't just get bitten by another older human yeah and I think he can survive in sunlight and he's not allergic to garlic or whatever but I do think

they're hoping it sets up like Blade Blade would be cool Blade would be cool Blade's gonna be happening Blade's gonna be yeah it's a movie it's what's his name

from Moonlight and uh what Marsha Marsha yeah he's gonna be happening Blade's gonna be yeah it's a movie it's uh what's his name from Moonlight and uh what Marshall yeah he's gonna be Blade alright I'm pretty

that's positive yeah I mean you can't you can't beat my boy Snipes but what are you taxes oh my god sorry

oh boy got him you're just waiting for that no I mean no um I didn't know Wesley Snipes was gonna come up

in this convo I actually never really I saw like the first I saw part of the first I love all three man they're so fun but I was like a kid

when I saw Blade and it I remember watching it with my dad kind of traumatized me really how much blood there was there's a lot

and I was like because my parents didn't let me watch rated R movies growing up. I watched R movies from like age five. Yeah. Well, that explains. Those movies are so good.

I love that Blade had a trilogy. Yeah. Like that was like the first. Was it called Blade? The first Marvel trilogy. It was called Blade Trinity. Was it the third one? So good.

Yeah. I remember the one where like, they're talking about summoning La Magra. And there was like, they're like in this dance party. And that's mainly what I remember about the whole thing. Yeah, and there's all blood. It's like a blood party, right? Yeah, it's like a blood party.

Yeah, that's what I remember being really freaked out about it. I was like, is this what it's like being a teen? Yeah. And then Blade II, Rise of the Lycans. Yeah, that's the one. No, I'm not letting this be a thing, Ethan. Matrix II, Rise of the Lycans. yeah it's not yeah that's the one yeah I'm not letting this be a thing Ethan Matrix 2 Rise of the Lycans

right reloaded it's reloaded no I'm pretty sure it's Rise of the Lycans they need to make a movie called Rise of the Lycans but it's about like

moss Blade 2 Temple of Doom Lycans Lycans like Lycan oh like the moss

is moss Lycan yeah it's a different kind of like lichen yeah this is going nowhere uh like in this bit i'm liking this bit too rise of the lichens so nobody i feel like that movie like underworld rise of the lichens came out in like 2000 oh no one knows what this is it was just for us sorry there's 50 there's a million movies and also 50 resident resident evils yep yep there's there's an audience it's astounding that nobody saw resident evil 2 but yet they made 5 000 more of them because they were the only like accessible gaming movies at

the time where you're like oh what zombies got it like i don't think it's gamers i don't think it's gamers that are watching there isn't because that's what i mean because it's people being like oh i can still see what this is i've heard of this but now i just know it's zombies but i think going off on a little tangent here we're finally starting to discover video game movies have never worked because they video games are a lot like books and that you're going to spend 40 to 50 hours with a story or a character and really get immersed in a world and that's what makes you love them so much. If a game were two hours,

you'd be like, this game sucks. Same with the movie and that's why I think The Witcher nailed it so hard on Netflix because they're doing a series. You finally have 12 hours to spend and my mom is watching The Witcher. She doesn't know about the books or the games

but it's accessible now because we get to learn. Well, and it's also a more adult franchise. Like, it's not like a PG-13 kind of like game. I guess the argument that people are making is that it is technically, it's no different than any fantasy series based on books because it is drawing almost entirely from the books.

Okay, actually, right. Like, I don't think, I think maybe, I think the only thing that's really been drawn from the game is Henry Cavill, I think, got the voice from the game. But I don't think any story-wise, though. But they're not... I mean, they are adapting the books, but they would not have made this series had there not been a very successful game franchise

that gave us the look and the style of all the stuff. It's the same as, like, I don't know, if Assassin's Creed had a 12 episode run. But see, the movie was terrible because they had to set up so much and get you on board

even if you haven't played the games. This is like, they can take their time with you and slowly just sneak you in. Well then, what game do you think

they could do next? I think Assassin's Creed would be incredible. It would have been great as a series because it's historical fiction that checks off so many boxes that can, you know, Game of Thrones almost does, but it's more fantasy.

Also, like, I never watched it, but, like, they're, like, the movie's interpretation of, like, the Animus. Because, like, in the game, you just, like, sit in a bed. It's your brain. And it's, like, in your brain. But then, like, they were like, that's not cool enough. So, like, they had him, like, suspended on this thing, like, doing the actions. Yeah, that looks actions, and it just seemed really silly. You know, I have a weird

pitch that I really do think... Oh, but what's your call? Are you calling anything? What are you calling? You don't have to. Oh, I don't have a call. Okay, sure. This year we're gonna see another gaming-based thing from Netflix, like a 12-episode run, something like a Mass Effect. I think it would be great.

Mass Effect would be so good. Yup. I got shelved a long time ago. Was that a thing for real? Yeah. Same thing with uncharted. I think they're onto like, I think they're trying to make a two hour movie and it keeps,

how do you do it? They also change them so much. They're almost never actual. They're there. It's almost like inspired by the video game. Uh, did you ever see forward onto Don the halo? Like short series. Um, it Halo, like, short series?

Um, it was, it was alright. I, sorry, I got confused for a second because I thought you were talking about

Halo Fall of Reach, which is where I'm, where I play Master Chief. I'm sorry. Sorry. Wow. And I was about to be like, yes,

I've seen it. I was teenage. But the one that I think would actually be a legit show, it's weird. Well, you were Master Chief in the book? No, in the animated thing for Halo Fall of Reach. I'm teenage Master Chief, and I didn't even know it was a Halo project when I got in the booth.

And that's how secret they keep things until I got in there like, you know Halo, right? And I'm like, sort of. They're like, great, you're John. I'm like, oh, God. I read that book. It was one of my first ever voice jobs. Back in the day. I was a big Halo fan.

I read that book. Well, I'll sign your face. It's a good book. It was one of my first ever voice jobs. Back in the day. I was a big Halo fan. I read that book. Well, I'll sign your face. It's a good book. It was a fun book. I enjoyed it. Sorry. Sorry. The video game that I think could be a good show,

and this would be very different, but I think Metroid could be an awesome. That would be cool. Because there's so much, like, and that's one where they would have to essentially create the story, because there's much, but it's like, that setting is so unique.

It's so like, I don't know. I think it'd be done really cool. Do you think we'll ever see anything like that from Nintendo? Do it like a horror. Do it literally like a isolated horror. Because Nintendo doesn't do that. I guess like, yeah, that's true. Also, but like how would she roll up into a ball?

Oh, God. How would she roll up into the ball though? Yeah, that's the one problem. You didn't think about how she'd roll up into the ball though yeah that's the one problem you didn't think about how she'd roll up also I was gonna say like one issue has always been like a helmeted character where you can't see their face but Mandalorian

pulled it off but it's also because of his personality and his character he gets away with it because it's not really about like he's just kind of a stoic character. In a show, you would probably see her face through the helmet.

They could just do like an Iron Man. You see, yeah, exactly. And there's a lot, there's a lot to dig with for Samus there because, you know, she's not, I mean, she's silent because of the nature of the game, but like at her core, she is, it's the pull of being a mother. It's always been about- Wait, wait, wait, hold on. Samus is a, is a girl? Yes. Oh. You know that. But it's the pull of being a mother. Wait, hold on. Samus is a girl?

Yes. Oh. You know that. But it's the pull of being a mother. It's, you know, taking down Mother Brain as the final boss in the first one and then finding a Metroid egg and keeping it because she has this feeling of, like, I can't hurt this baby. It's the last of its kind.

And she, like, nurses it and accepts her as, like, spoiler alert, in the second game, that same baby that she saves comes back and saves her because there is this connection even cross species it's like raising something from you do it you do a three episode hour and a half an episode thing with that you make it really like you make the first episode have like a couple lines of dialogue you have them being like all right so you know the mission like here you go and it's like that first 45 minutes is her walking through caves and you're like what the hell's going on

there's some weird crap and then like you culminate it with like fighting Ridley or something or just

I mean have it go nuts maybe it starts with that battle and then she gets the egg and then it is literally her struggle of like

what to do about this I think it's just too silly of a universe I don't think people would like I think you make it super I don't know I think it could I think there's just too silly of a universe. I don't think people would like... I think you make it super... I don't know. I think it could...

I think there's too much mystery. Like it's, you know... The problem with other things is when people know too much about something, then they get all mad. But that's one that you could kind of like... Enough people don't know much, but everybody knows of that character.

It's kind of crazy they haven't done a Zelda thing. But that's the thing. Nintendo just doesn't. They don't let it. They do manga. I also wish they would do an F done a Zelda thing. But that's the thing. Nintendo just doesn't. They don't. They don't let it. They do manga. I also wish they would do an F-Zero one. Make that insane. F-Zero would be dope.

Make that absolute, like, you cast, like. And Captain Falcon's just an asshole. You just literally have the cast of Fast and Furious as racers. And they're all just like, you just are like, okay, you cast Dwayne Johnson. Just be like, just go nuts, man. Just make the character whatever you want. Like, any of you can play any like all these all these racers could be any character you know what actually be awesome is uh like a dark souls

or a bloodborne if you're gonna go the silent protagonist thing like with yeah or diablo diablo would be cool diablo i could actually see being a thing but i think the lore of dark souls is like rich enough that it's got that fantasy element that i think people would be stoked as a show and they've got all those characters that are think people would be stoked to see it. As a show. They've got all those characters that are just always hanging around that you talk to a bit but like make the like depressed knight your like the bard that follows you around basically

and is you know. You almost make that like each it's almost not an anthology but every episodes it's a standalone thing kind of thing where you come across a different being or a different person and like it's always like some sort of dark tale. Okay.

Could be cool. So what are you calling? What am I calling? Oh, I'm saying that we'll see more video game adaptations as a series on Netflix

or something. I think with the success of Witcher, other streaming services are going to be like, well, we've got to do ours because after Game of Thrones, then Amazon's like,

we're going to do a billion dollar Lord of the Rings series. Do we know if The Witcher was even successful? It was the most watched. The most streamed series of the year. Yeah, baby, more Witcher. Stranger Things.

Suck it, Stranger Things. It's also crazy because it was critically panned. it was yes witcher critics did not like yes it has a 65 on which isn't terrible but like but it got really pretty bad reviews by a lot of places but still did so well it was definitely it was definitely a rough start it was and the time jump thing for anybody who hasn't seen it yet um i is not a spoiler, I think it's something that will just help. For all the different characters that they focus on, they are in different timelines at that time.

Some of it is like way before some of the others. So like, I had to explain that to my mom because it was just like, why are they meeting in court now? Like, they explain it real quick like in Geralt's storyline, there's a character that says, you know, did you hear that this person just won their first battle? And she's a woman, so she can do anything.

And then they cut to that lady who is at that point a grandmother and a very seasoned warrior. Being like, I remember when I had that battle back in the day. And I'm like, that's the one thing you're doing to tell audiences? Good luck. They didn't do a great job with that. I think the reason, you know, the real reason why The Witcher beat Stranger Things. Stranger Things didn't have a fricking toss a coin to 11, you know?

Feed a waffle to that girl. Or a valley of egos. That's parody. Come on. I don't think we can use any of that. Shit. Fuck. It was just a fun show.

You know, because it wasn't, it wasn't, it had gritty moments, but it was overall more fun than it was dark and insane, which I loved. And it's got tooties! Ha ha ha! Also, you know, Henry Cavill,

I was doubting him, but he ended up being the best part. He did a great job. I was very worried. I was very worried. He nailed it. He really did. Man.

Who would have known? Who would have known? You had a little segment you were pitching before the start of this. Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, like, we got five minutes. So I probably shouldn't be getting that. Let's save it. Yeah.

Let's end this with some good news, guys. Damien's vitamin D deficiency. Oh, yeah. This is random as hell, but basically, for the past year, my mood just hasn't been awesome. I've been really tired all the time, and I'm just like, what's going on with me? And about a week and a half ago, I found some multivitamins I used to take. I was like, oh, yeah, I should start start taking these again and i immediately felt like a flipping superhero you ever just forget for about a year that you have a vitamin d deficiency i did because i used

to like have these like medicines and vitamins that i would take that were just sort of lined up in my cabinet and then i moved and i didn't have them just in front of my face all the time so i literally just forgot that like yeah I really need to take these things to feel good. But can you get vitamin D for free? Yeah from the sun which I'm not going to do because I get hives when I go out in the sun

you see I'm a vampire. I'm a mess but like what if you don't like get hot or sweaty like can you just kind of go out in the sun for like a little. Like a little bit but like taking a massive amount of vitamin D and a vitamin is still more than what the sun gives you, I think. How long in the sun before

you start getting it? I mean, it's not bad, but if the sun starts like beating down on me and getting a little hot, it'll be like a half hour to an hour. Well, I mean, you shouldn't be spending a lot of time in the sun anyway. Yeah, because we broke the earth. You got to get that balance between vitamin D and cancer. I think like 15, 20 minutes in the sun is really good for you every day. Or a vitamin while I'm in my room playing computer games like Danganronpa.

Shout out to Kevin. It's so easy to just take a pill and fix it. I'm still not convinced that Danganronpa is an actual game. It isn't. It's just an Australian one. He's just staring in front of a screen with white noise. Yeah. This game is great.

Danganronpa. I love these pills next to my computer. Vitamin D. So you're feeling better now. I feel awesome. These are marbles. And they're great. I feel like a rock star.

I literally feel awesome. I wake up and I'm able to hop right out of bed. My sleep is restful. I have like a rock star. I literally feel awesome. I wake up and I'm able to like hop right out of bed. My sleep is restful. I have energy throughout the day. I used to come home from work, take a nap and then immediately like stream or whatever. And then I would just be dead. Now I'm like hopping back on stream and actually feeling like, Hey, let's go. It's another day. Like, and I was worried. Cause I was like, I feel like my energy has been low for months. People are going to get bored and bummed and all that. And I like haven't been exercising either.

I was like, how do I have energy to do this? Now I do. All right. So I feel awesome. So your advice to the kids is don't exercise. Just take vitamin D pills. Is that what I'm taking away from this? I'm saying if you're tired all the time, maybe there's a reason.

Get checked out. And if you have a vitamin D deficiency, take a bunch of vitamin D. Your energy is going to be awesome almost immediately. And then you can work out. Yeah. Hey, if you got health insurance or you live in a country that isn't fucked and has a national health care system, get your blood checked. Figure out if you're deficient in any way. Yeah, get tested for blood. If you don't have blood, you need it.

Probably. I mean, the jury's still out on if you need blood or not. Yeah. And bone marrow. Yeah. And we've come full circle exactly yeah and uh and that i'll close it out guys get your blood get your bone marrow get get your small australia shirts a hundred percent of the proceeds go to the australian red cross can i say one more save those wallabies. Yes, please. Okay. Sometimes when people make merch, it's printed on like that horrible,

horrible cotton that everybody hates and it just sits in your closet forever and you never wear it. This shirt is so comfy. It's that soft. It's that soft cotton. I will actually legitimately be wearing this all the time. It feels very nice. It is a very nice feeling shirt.

It is not that garbage cotton. So feel good about your contribution and feel good in your shirt. Love you so nice. It is a very nice feeling shirt. It is not that garbage. So feel good about your contribution and feel good in your shirt. Love you so much. Smoshcast coming at you every Wednesday on all the podcast listening platforms. Rate it five stars on all those apps.

Any of those apps. We really, really appreciate it. And the video format comes out on Friday on the Smoshcast YouTube channel. Thank you guys so much. Thank you, Shane. Thank you, Damien. Get your blood checked and spay and neuter your cats. Bye.

Spay and neuter your siblings. No pooping on the bus. No pooping on the bus. Pooping at a bus. We'll see you next time.