Smosh Mouth - S2: #49 - Getting Dumped By Your Therapist (Smosh Advice)

Episode Date: February 5, 2020

You tweeted us things you need advice on and Courtney, Sarah, and Monica are here to help! From deciding to go to college to our experiences with therapy, enjoy a nice hot cup of #SmoshAdvice! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Ramble. I've always had two thoughts. One is I don't have to be friends with everyone, and everyone doesn't have to like me. Once you really think about that, it's totally fine. I feel like all my life I've learned by observing other people and other people's mistakes. Honestly, the difference between being

a 27-year-old virgin and being a 29-year-old virgin, not that much. Are you both in therapy? Are we all in therapy? I am not in therapy. I got dumped by my therapist. What? I don't project. That's not in my skill set. I'm just going to move back and forth.

Daddy! Yes, you can project. Daddy! Watch this movie at the door! It's like listening in a mirror. What is the ear equivalent of a mirror? Not like for eyes as a mirror. A headphone?

Yeah, a headphone. But it doesn't go around. It's an echo. It's an echo. An echo. Yep. We're using those ear mirrors. That's what headphones are.

And echoes. Guys, welcome to this episode of the podcast. You have three very educated, very intelligent women here today. It's me, Courtney Miller. We got Monica Vasandani. Say it again. Vasandani. Yeah, you got it right. Yeah. I just shouldn't have hesitated. Now spell it. V-A-S-A-N-D-A-N-I. Whoa. Heck yeah. We've come a long way. Sorry, I farted on the podcast. I'm proud of myself. And then we have Sarah Whittle. Yay! You said my name right! Yes.

Yeah, so we're doing an advice podcast today. It's gonna be fun. We were just talking about, like, weird stuff just now. A lot of stuff. A lot of weird stuff. Yeah, we really ran through all of the, like, female body weird stuff. Yeah, we did a body check. Female body check.

Female body check. Yeah. But yeah, we had a tweet that went out asking if you guys wanted some advice from three very qualified human beings. Where are they? Yeah. Where are they? Where are they?

I don't know. It's my birthday this week. Oh, yeah. Happy birthday. So we're wise. I'm wise. And you're turning 21 yeah exactly god i can finally drink so wise so wise um i was thinking about the other day how it's crazy how like when we're little or like 13 how we think we literally know everything and that we have it all figured

out yes and like even me looking at myself a year ago, I'm like, wow, that bitch. I think every like, I think that goes up until you're like 25. Oh, has to. Yeah. At 32, I've never felt dumber. Yeah, actually.

Because like between 25 and 30, life really like humbles you because they're like, you thought you were hot and young and you knew your shit. You're wrong. I think my brain's developed enough to realize how stupid I am. Yeah.

Definitely. Okay. So, yeah, we have some tweets from you guys to answer. We were joking. There's one of these here. I'm just going to throw it out there because it's funny. The how to hide a body. And my first initial instinct was don't hide your body.

Love your body. Don't hide it. How can I hide a body? Yeah. That was at screenplay. So that's my answer. Love your body. And if it's body yeah i was at screenplay so that's my answer love your body and if it's a dead body love that dead oh yeah yeah yeah that's bad advice okay just canceled myself courtney comes out as a necrophilia oh oh boy don't knock no no no keep going sell me on it pitch me on it no yeah yeah i want it. Don't kink, no.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to be sold on this. Courtney Miller cancels herself for the Smosh cast. Yeah. Okay, so the first real question we're going to ask is from Jack Trash. They ask, is college worth it? You guys both went to college, like actually, legitimately. Yeah. Did you complete college?

Yeah. What'd complete college? Yeah. What'd you get? I have a bachelor's degree in business management. Hell yeah. From a fashion school. Hell yeah. Did you go to FITM? Yeah, I did.

Oh, my God. Calm down, Courtney. Sorry, FITM probably told me this already, but, like, FITM was always the commercials on TV, so it seems like a famous school. It didn't feel famous when I was there. What did you study? So I have one degree in product development, my associate's, and I have my bachelor's in business management. Yeah. So what did you initially want to get into? I had no idea. So I did really poorly in high school. I graduated with a 2.8 GPA. Ooh-wee!

So there were very few schools I could get into. Nice. But my parents wanted me to go to a four-year school. I actually super regret going to a four-year school. Really? I wish I had just gone to community college, saved the money. That's what I did. And kind of figured it out from there yeah yeah i got a two-year degree an associate's degree um from a community college in wyoming because also um i was offered full ride scholarship so not only uh for speech and debate in theater wow dude that's awesome super nerdy yeah that's awesome so um i

and then also wyoming had a scholarship that if you stayed in school or stayed in state for college they would pay you extra money because they want their people to stay. So I did that for two years and got my degree. And then I went to a four-year college. So that saved a lot of money. It didn't help me from still the massive amount of debt that I had. Are you glad that you went to college? Yes.

Yes, I am. But I do think it's not for everyone so i think like college was really worth it for me because i always knew i wanted to get into media or television or some type of production like that so i knew i would just have to like i don't have to get a degree but it's better to get a degree so that's what i did and i also wanted to like go out to new york and so that was kind of the best way to do it but it's not for everyone and especially financially like when i was 16 17 money didn't seem like a real thing no it was like so it was like oh 50k a year 45k a year 60k a year like those all seem like oh yeah i'll be making so much money when i get out of college you don't for a while for a very long

time especially if you don't stay in the same industry or whatever you're doing just the bare minimum and exactly and it's 17 to be like yeah i'm gonna go into this massive amount of debt is like yeah that's just like a that's just a societal american problem too that they want to profit off of education and young children but that's a rant for another day but another day is college worth it i think it's not for everyone and i i would actually love to see um you know generations and coming up and going into more trade schools because at the end of the day like we still need um carpenters and plumbers and like those kind of like technical. Marine biologists. Exactly. And you make good money doing that stuff.

But the thing is that I think in most industries, in order to even compete for the job, you have to have a four-year degree because now it's so ubiquitous. Like so many people have them. It depends on the industry because I have a friend that she went to college, but I think she only got her associate's degree, which is totally fine. And then she went into retail and she's a very, she's on a high level. She's like a general manager of a store

and making like lots of money and she doesn't have any student debt. So some careers rely on you just diving right in and doing a good ass job. Yeah, that's true. And then some you need like a little bit of technical school for. So it's like it's all up to you.

It's it's really what you you know what your goal is. But if you don't know, if you graduated high school and you feel lost and you're not really sure what you want to do, go to community college. Yeah, but just get a two year degree. I would say that if your parents are paying for your college, if you're lucky enough for that, then it's a great opportunity to get a good degree. Yes. Get out of the house.

Yes. Like learn to be an adult, but on a much lower level where you're like kind of feeding yourself, like kind of doing your own laundry and stuff. But it's a good stepping stone before you're cast out into the real world. Take advantage of it, but get something out of it. I feel like nowadays there's this whole surge of people wanting to be influencers and YouTubers. I kind of wonder if there's going to be a shortage of scientists and mathematicians or marine biologists in the future because those just are not being thought of. Yeah. And I mean, I do know that some industries are already having that, like pilots, for

example, there might be in the next five years, a shortage of pilots because during like, because they're required to retire at a certain age and all the people that came from like the wars and during that time, like they have to retire now. And a lot of people aren't going into that industry because it's very expensive and hard to get into. So I could easily see it being a thing. Did you know there's only 8,000 police people staffed in L.A. County? Only 8,000? Oh, that's not many.

They have a crazy shortage right now. Wow. Probably because, like, I don't know if political climate has anything to do with that. And I feel like kids think that in order to have that, like, fun, creative lifestyle, you have to pursue being a YouTuber or an influencer. But that's not always the case. I know so many people who are working coding at Google, and they're the coolest, most entertaining, awesome person. You don't have to have just— No, and if you want to become a content creator or something like that, you can still pursue a job outside of it.

Simply Nailogical is the perfect example she's a crime statistics analyst and then she does youtube on the weekend and she also just just had her um like own nail polish line open up last year so you can do it all it's just like really doing it in a smart way yeah using that the the something to pay the bills for that dream hustle i think that's so important agreed um yeah i went to uh i only did half a semester at community college but it was i think a lot of it had to do with my ability to learn is just i can't do classes once a week or so of of a subject and like also the campus just felt very unhappy to me and so when you are picking colleges it really

is more important than you think i feel like when you're picking a campus to stay on yeah and i found a really nice community in my community college like there are people in community college that kind of like stay there forever and take classes forever and some people just take classes for fun maybe they're later in life but for me i know i had an end goal i had an end goal i want to get a degree as soon as possible let's get all those requisites out of the way and then i can see where i can go next hell yeah yeah dude heck yeah so i hope that covers it i mean i'd say i like money wise it's tough with college you know i almost got a scholarship for ucla for what pole vaulting whoa did i talk about this already you can pole vault yeah that was my that was my

favorite thing in high school i did track for like seven years i think from like fifth grade all the way through high school pole vaulting became my main thing and like whoa that's so cool our coach would take us to ucla like a couple times a week to practice with the college pole coach and he was calling me his new recruit i I was feeling real good. But like our coaches at the time were at the high school were like really like kind of really bad conduct. They got fired the next year. They're just they did some they did bad things. They're manipulative and like wouldn't let me do the events I wanted to do. Even trying to like not let me have a boyfriend. It was really weird. So they kind of turned me away from track. Senior year I just like didn't i just ditched it

and then i also was like damn i can't afford college unless i do have a scholarship and then by that point i'm like i haven't done sports enough to even so it's like by then it was too too late but man i didn't know you could pole vault that's so cool that seems very scary i'm so not physically able at all that it just blows my mind i I just, I can't let go of the idea of like, like don't run with scissors. Like the idea of like running with like a long pole. Here's a large stick.

Like a fiberglass thing. And then you jam it into the ground and then you go up. I don't understand the physics of it. It doesn't make any sense to me. I'll teach you sometime.

I feel like I could pick up a pole and get right back into it. I'm sure you could. Yeah. Do you think Monica and I are really made for the air? I don't think so. Pole vaulting, a lot of it, you'd into it. I'm sure you could. Do you think Monica and I are really made for the air? I don't think so.

Pole vaulting, a lot of it, you'd be surprised. I like to stay planted. You'd be surprised how a lot of it is just form. It's not even like... I mean, there's sprinting and upper body strength. You could totally do it with your upper body strength and your climbing ability. I bet you'd really surprise yourself.

And pole vaulters are short. Are you calling Monica short? No, sorry. with your upper body strength and your climbing ability, I bet you'd really surprise yourself. And pole vaulters are short. Oh. Oh, my God. Are you calling Monica short? No, no, sorry. Are you calling me a pole vaulter? Monica, you're so tall. You could stay.

Now you're just being patronizing. You'll never make me happy. I'm mad no matter what you say. Speaking of, I don't know how I'm going to translate this. You don't have to segue. You can just go next to me. Speaking of being tall versus know How I'm going to You don't have to segue You can just go next tweet Speaking of being tall Versus short Gone

Gone This next question Is about how to stop Comparing yourself to others Oh So was that okay Was that a good transition That was a great one

Thanks guys How to stop Don't look at each other Like that Why We were comparing Each other to each other And we were like

Don't How do we stop this No I think when you yeah wait hardcore haas is the one who asked you said how do you come are they i'm sorry how do you combat i can never tell with the abby's and stuff yeah how do you how do you combat self-deprecation and comparing yourself to others believing you're not good enough okay now get back now get back to that momentum swing in how do you stop well the first step is you acknowledge that you're doing this and it's just not mentally healthy so sometimes when you're growing up you just gotta quit doing

stuff and really make an effort to do it so it's so easy with social media and scrolling through your feed seeing how cute this girl is and how successful this person is how tall this person is it's very easy to compare yourself. And if you do compare yourself, then take away what you're comparing. Is it you wish you were more fit or you wish and is it a wish that can even be fulfilled? So it's just something that you have to like really stop doing. And with the self-deprecation thing, I think self-deprecation is good at a healthy level. I think if it's actually you spotlighting, putting a spotlight on an issue that you actually have, that's when it gets a little dangerous. So knowing the difference between just poking fun at yourself and actually hurting and bullying yourself.

Yeah. And when you get into that space of beating yourself up, bullying yourself, this is a lot easier said than done. But I think if you kind of remove yourself from that situation and imagine that you are saying this to a good friend, or I think some therapists go with the like yourself as a child thing and really think about if you would let someone treat your best friend this way your sister brother whoever that way yeah yeah I feel like growing up I had this kind of blind confidence I think it was just I was so oblivious of my flaws or oblivious of the things that I was doing was weird so I'm very I feel like I'm lucky in that way, but also like being oblivious. I think

it's, it's always good. It's like, yeah, self-deprecation is good. I think being aware of yourself and like when, what you do or how you affect others is fine, but yeah, there's a healthy level of doing that. And also if you're comparing, like everyone is comparing themselves to everybody. Like there are people comparing themselves to you. Like they maybe want features that you have and then you have no idea. Literally, you will never have any idea like how everyone in the world feels about you. So there's no point in trying to be any certain way. And also if you're constantly looking to compare yourself,

you're always going to be kind of disappointed. If you're looking for the negative, you will find the negative. If you look for the positive, you will find the positive. So it's like, obviously we're all working in progress. We're all working on something, but you know, you will find the positive. So it's like, obviously, we're all working in progress. We're all working on something. But, you know, you can still like yourself.

And so how do you create yourself to be someone that you like? And if you're comparing yourself to someone, I think comparing, try to compare yourself to yourself in the past. And just make sure that you are being the best version of yourself. And that might help you feel a little bit better. If you're like, oh, you know, I don't like that. I do this one thing. I'm going to work on that. And if you can look back and say, hey, I used to do that thing a year ago that I think was a bad behavior or whatever.

And I've eradicated that. Yeah. Then you can you can celebrate that. Yeah. that yeah then you can you can uh celebrate that yeah with that being said you can still have like body goals and like career goals and like stuff like that to look forward to like aspirational i want to yeah you know be like x y and z but do it in a manageable and healthy way yeah totally we're not saying don't change no no point in changing because like there's like i have to evolve i have a huge anxiety of like i constantly like I'm just trying to like figure out how I can be better.

And it's like it can be really hard sometimes when that's just like a weight you have. But it is good to want to improve. And the fact that you're even asking the question, it's very, it's very, you should, why am I? You should do it. Yeah, it speaks positively to yourself that you're even wondering that. I don't even know why I said it that way. Yeah, you're trying to better yourself. That will kind of segue to this next one.

That's a good one because this one is how to maintain friendships with people who have changed. This one's from at artist Taman. And they said, yeah, I haven't felt comfortable with some of my friends lately. And I feel like they're changing into someone different. But I really don't want to stop talking to them or hanging out. How do I handle these changes? I wonder what they mean. I mean, I've had a lot of friendships.

Like, this is the thing. People, friendships, relationships, they all evolve. They all change. For better or for worse or the same. But that's just a part of life because everyone's on their own journey and you can't expect everyone to be going on their same on the same path. For me, I've always like had like two thoughts. One is I don't have to be friends with everyone and everyone doesn't have to like me. And so that's just like a tough one.

Yeah. But that's like once you really think about that it's totally fine it's just like it's like yeah it's freeing because it's like for me i don't like mustard is it changing my life that i don't like mustard no is mustard fine without me yes so that's how i feel about me it's like if you don't like me if you're not friends with me that's totally fine as long as there's like a mutual respect. Or if there isn't, then I just don't ever talk to you. And two, I don't have to stay with friends.

Maintain a relationship with someone just because I have in the past. Some relationships can be like seasons where you had a really good time in the past and there are very fond memories. But then the relationship changes over time. Life gets in the way. Jobs get in the way.. Life gets in the way, jobs get in the way, other relationships get in the way. And so that's just a part of life that it's changing and ebbing and flowing. And if these people are changing in a way that you're not favorable, either you can address those changes with them and just say you're uncomfortable, or maybe, you know, adjusting the

friendship. You hang out with them a little less, you hang out with them in smaller doses and smaller group sizes. And it's not anything to, you know, it's not a breakup. It's just friendships change. Yeah. And I think it's okay to just, you know, spend less time with them. Well, first, like evaluate whether you still like these people, whether they are still bringing something good into your life or you just want to hang out with them because it's what you're used to. I felt this in a big way when I had a kid because there are people who are not comfortable hanging out with a kid or they just, you know, we are in different places in our lives. And it took us a little while to find what worked for us in terms of setting aside time to hang out not getting my

feelings hurt that i wasn't being invited to stuff anymore it took a while to get to get there and i think that's okay that's totally okay yeah yeah those rough patches all the time and i'm curious like what they mean about changing whether it's like taste and stuff or like what they're into or like just literally their values as a person but Or if it's like, oh, my friends now like to vandalize cars. Like, yeah, it's not tight. Yeah. Because I mean, you do you want to surround yourself with people that are like positive and bring a positive light to your life.

I've had friends that were changing and it was to the point where they were very much affecting my life negatively like they were hurting my day-to-day I felt like my mental health was like slipping so sometimes you do have to cut people out of your life and it doesn't have to be in a negative way you don't have to be like you're done snip and if there are other people in your life that you enjoy spending time with more like that's okay and I think that's such a great, I don't know if the word's analogy, but the mustard thing, that's great. Like, mustard is fine without me. I had a friend who had something similar to that where I was so nervous and sad that, like, I can't go to this party.

I feel bad that I can't go. And that friend was like, well, in a way that's selfish thinking to think that everyone's going to be so affected by your not attending this thing. Because, yeah, it's not like nobody cares yeah i mean yeah it's like it's knowing that like you know you're an active part of life in general but you're not the only part yeah and and like i said like there are friendships with rough patches sometimes like people just get weird for a little bit but it's fine like you like you you and your friend Monica, you guys worked that out and like things are still like good, you think? Yeah. I mean, we're still friends. We had to kind of get past the initial hurt of not talking as much and feeling like this person doesn't like me and rather realizing that it was the circumstance of just being at different places and being okay with someone going from being a best friend to

like a tier two friend that, you know, we're not as close as we once were, but we can still leave it in a place where we still have warm feelings towards each other instead of letting it get to the point where we're not addressing stuff and it's just blowing up. Yep. I had, I had a similar thing too, because it's like four years ago, I was single, living in L.A. by myself, no pets, just a roommate that I wasn't really friends with. Like, that was my life. So, obviously, I had a lot of time for different friendships and going out and all this stuff. And fast forward now, my time is even more divided up. And so, you know, friendships have had to be adjusted,

but that doesn't mean there's any less love there. It just means that, you know, we're hanging out a little less. And so I think with, luckily with this friendship, I'm able to be open and honest with her that I'm like, you know, my time's more divided up, but that doesn't mean there's any less love. That doesn't mean that I don't want to hang out with you. It just means that like life is intense. And that's the thing too, is like invest your time into relationships that you really want to

foster. Like it, I'm not saying you can't go to coffee with someone and just like, you know, be very casual, but the older you get, time goes goes by faster time gets divided up even more really you don't have to hang out with people that you don't want to invest into no just because you guys had a past and it sounds that sounds super brutal but like mustard will be fine mustard literally be fine mayo will thrive no mayo's my buddy yeah I feel like in high school I bounced around in friend circles a lot but by the end

it's like freshman year you feel like you're friends with people just to have someone to sit with at lunch and then my senior year I had like one friend that I was just like

yeah you could be a little more discerning yeah cause you're focusing on yourself let's switch it up a little bit we've been doing friends

and like changing stuff dude let's freaking change it up. Let's go. This one is related to what to do when you and your partner enjoy different things. Ooh. Uh-oh. That's me for sure.

Partner. This tweet is from. I sent that in because I want to know. Is this your fake Twitter account? Yeah. So this one's from at Wizard Dallin. I love my girlfriend, but we're polar opposites in taste and personality. In parentheses, she's outgoing, loves people.

I'm introverted, don't like people. She likes the city. I like the countryside, et cetera, et cetera. Any advice on finding things to do together? Yeah. It's fun to bring someone else into your world, knowing that they are also going to bring you into theirs yeah I mean I think that's one of the 100% great things about dating someone who is different from you because you get to

kind of live this second life through them yeah and you get like kind of like yeah you get to like peek behind the curtain so like how how opposite would you say you and your wife are uh totally really or when we met, at least, yeah. Like, I was definitely going out all the time. I like to make friends with everyone. You know, I'm just very social. And she was, like, if she could just sit at home and read and not talk to anyone, she would be totally fine. Whereas I go insane.

Like, I'll get stir crazy after six hours at home um maybe i don't like myself oh god um we don't have time for that no no let's go there i'm ready um so it was nice to like there would be nights where i would plan ahead we're going out tonight um she would be in because I would plan ahead. We're going out tonight. She would be in because she would have enough time to prepare herself mentally. But she knew she was doing this for me. And then maybe we skip the next party and plan something at home. So the introverted person feels like they're still doing something they enjoy, like a puzzle or whatever.

So I think that, you know know just keep trying different things and honestly like i think the christmas party was the first time like i had spent like a considerable more amount of time with your wife than before just like drive by and like claudia and i had so much fun with her she was so funny and so she was like i would have assumed that she was the outgoing one no i know she just dove right in. Yes, she's super funny, and she's awesome to talk to. She can get along with anyone. She just doesn't want to.

Well, I'm glad that our interactions was something she didn't want to do. I really didn't want to talk to them, but I did. I did this for you. I agree. When I dated Claudio, he was kind of an introvert, too, because he was, you know, he's like obviously a foreigner and new to the country, new language. So he also didn't speak the best English either. And so he was he's an introverted guy. He's come a long way.

He's come a super long way. Yeah. He knows so many words. He knows all the words almost. He knows I do for sure. Can you just like read a dictionary and be like, yep, I know that one. But yeah, he kind of has like, I say he's like an extroverted introvert and I'm like an introverted extrovert. I think if you have a natural curiosity about your partner, which I hope you do, you want to find things that make them tick.

So for Claudio, you know, he's like a huge film buff, and I like movies casually. But, you know, he wants to go see this weird movie. I'll go with him, and I am fascinated to see when he lights up about stuff. And so it's kind of like that vice versa thing. And then finding things that you guys do have in common and really do those. Claudio and I love to eat. We love to try new restaurants. And so that's what we do. I think if you're dating a carbon copy of yourself, that might get boring. Yeah. Yeah. I agree that it's

cool to do something that your partner likes, just purely seeing that light in their eyes and just being like, yeah, I'm enjoying this because you enjoy this. I personally prefer to be with someone that we're in the same industry or where we are more similar on the same wavelength in terms of what we like to do, what we want to do with our lives, just because I feel more understood in that, just me personally. I got to say, and I think that's so great to make it work and just try each other's interests and find compromises, personally i gotta say sometimes like and i think that's so great to make it work and and yeah just try each other's interests and and find compromises but also like if if sometimes i feel like people

stay in a relationship for and for reasons that they don't really need so if this person is like so not if you guys are so not on the same wavelength at all and that's what you prefer like don't just stay like the first few words of this tweet are i love my girlfriend but yeah it's like i mean you're right it's like i mean this is a super dumb minute like little thing but it is like i love getting my nails done all my nails fell off so i'm not gonna show them right now but i love getting my nails done and one time i was dating a guy and had like pink glitter nails and he was like oh it looks like a little kid's hands and I was like oh yeah and I was like this is I don't like that you don't like that I like to do this yeah that's who you are yeah and and on the other side like Claudio doesn't

care about nails but he's like those are so cute I like those I like that you're doing he's like every time I get him done he's like send me a picture what is it like and it's like he obviously doesn't love him but he likes that I like him and I like get joy out of it so that's so important yeah because if somebody's shitting on the thing that you like yeah there's a difference between like and through that that thing is dumb versus that's not for me but I like to see you happy and if your partner's not giving you that that i like to see you happy thing then what exactly what are you doing together if you don't like to see the other person happy then yeah there's no point yeah yeah so i think there's both ways it's sometimes relationships not worth it but if it is worth it check those things out that they like this one's really sticking out to me

27 year old virgin oh i love that movie uh uh What is that one called? 40 Years Old? That's 40. It's actually one of my, it's the movie that I've seen the most. Really? Yeah, I love that movie. God damn.

I think I've only seen it once all the way through. It's so hilarious. And watching it over, like I hadn't watched it in like five years probably, and I just watched it recently. I'm like, damn, this is so funny and dumb. So this one is from at Yoohoo Dumb Poo. Great.

Dumb Poo. Yoohoo Dumb Poo. It's how my grandpa, my Korean grandpa would say dumb. Dumb Poo. Dumb Poo. Okay, so he said, or they say, I'm 27 and still a virgin. It didn't bother me at first, but lately I noticed that when I bring it up to guys, I'm either fetishized or they're scared off. At this point, I want to lose it for the sake of losing it, but I also don't want to lose it to some random.

Advice would be nice. Wow, that sucks. I'm sorry that you're being looked at in that way and then also they're being scared off. That sucks. Yeah, I mean, that's a tough one. I dated a virgin for a while. Oh. mean that's a tough one i dated i dated a virgin for a while but i dated someone who was an older virgin and um it's funny because he didn't actually tell me for a long time i figured it

out on the second date oh um oh this story is so funny hopefully he doesn't listen to this podcast so we went on our like first date and it was fine but like it was a it was like an okay cupid date this was many many years ago and he wasn't like super flirty but he was very funny and i had like a great time so i was like oh because usually you know guys are very flirty on online dates and i was like oh that's fine maybe he's nervous second date he was like hey come over my house we'll go hang out with my friends or something like that. And I was like, oh, okay, we'll do that. I showed up at his house.

Oh, God, please. And I was like, what are you doing? And he was like, come help me. I'm building a pyramid out of pennies. Oh, my God. So cool. So he had, like, a billion pennies at his house. And he was, like, stacking them, them like 10 at a time and making like

a square a huge square like one by one of pennies like in a square then the next one he'd go like one less row so it just was like a pyramid and that's what we were doing and in that moment i was like he's a virgin oh oh i know it he never told you i'd fuck that guy yeah that sounds so let's play with let's do penny stops it was so funny and i was like this is so calm just like such confirmation of my like just gut wow but um but him and i we kept dating and um honestly it's intimidating and and you know just being open about it's really important like why hasn't it happened or anything like that? And that's not a judgmental question. It's just like, where are you?

Yeah, it's a person-to-person thing. Like, where are you at? Yeah, exactly. And some people aren't super sexual, and some people just never had the opportunity. Some people have, and they didn't feel comfortable. Like, I think everyone's story is their own. I wouldn't fret about it.

No. I wouldn't worry about it too much. I also wouldn't just get it done just to get it done, unless you feel like the moment's right, and that's know just something you want to do yeah at the end of the day like it's a big deal but it's also not you know like it's like i feel like we put make this thing so precious and it's like if if you want to be someone who's sexually active obviously be very safe and and and you know plan ahead but But, like, it's only as, like. As powerful as you make it.

Yeah. And I think that it's okay to not tell people. I mean, I think that, you know, obviously we want to be open and honest and stuff. But you don't have to lead with that if you feel like people are treating you differently because of it. If it's something that you talk about or that comes up, and if they treat you differently because of it, If it's something that you talk about or that comes up and if they treat you differently because of it, then you can always walk away. And I know that's frustrating if you want to have sex and you see these kind of opportunities slipping away, but it'll be right

and it'll be fine. And honestly, the difference between being a 27 year old virgin and being a 29 year old virgin, not that much. So if it's something that takes a little bit of time, then let it take time. That's so true. And being open and honest about it. It's like you date someone and you want to have that open communication with them. So it's like you can be honest. Don't lead with it, like Monica said, because that doesn't define you. But if you're having a conversation, you can be like, hey, there's this thing about me i'm a virgin but i feel very comfortable that you

know with you to tell you that and it's like no pressure either way yeah like i'm not asking for anything i'm not not asking for anything also i think it maybe it's okay to straight up lie like not not super duper lie but've had tons of sex All the ways Yeah you know The sex way Let's move on The sexy way Vampire sex

But it's okay I think to just be like I just like to take it slow Yeah And you know Maybe keep some things Yeah Under wraps a little bit

Yeah It's very And I think it's so Person to person As to why some people are just like, yeah, they just didn't find

the right person or every time it was gonna, like, it could be just bad luck or it's not a bad thing. Can we normalize not making someone else's

virginity about ourselves? Yep. Like, if someone tells you you're a virgin, that is not about you. That is their thing. It's not like,

oh, I can't, it's not your body. Like, you are your own person. You're on your own path. Like, let them figure that out. And like, oh, I can't. It's not your body. Like, you are your own person. You're on your own path. Like, let them figure that out. And, like, yeah, if you're – I'd say you don't have to, like, tell everyone when you first meet them.

Hi, I'm Courtney. I'm a virgin. This is like The Bachelor. But if you're considering, like, someone in that way, then, like, if you feel like you want them to know, like, if you feel, like, safe telling that person. And maybe it's a good sign. If they're getting scared off or if you're seeing that they're clearly fetishizing you, then maybe they're not the person to lose it to.

I feel like it's a big deal until you lose it and then you're sexually active and have had sex with other people. Then it feels like you look back and you're like, it's not that big of a deal how I lost it. I don't know. I don't know. Everything feels big in the moment. Yeah. And then, you're like it's not that big of a deal how i lost it i don't know i don't know everything feels big in the moment yeah and then you know it's a story yeah but don't rush it just because you feel like you have to rush it 27 verse 29 i love that that's so so true and if you're not that type of like if you're not a super sexually flirty person

and you're you want to be then try it out try to learn how to flirt a little bit try to be that and and maybe create those circumstances if that's something you want yeah be, then try it out. Try to learn how to flirt a little bit. Try to be that and maybe create those circumstances if that's something you want. Yeah. Because I know some people are just, like, scared of flirting and scared of, like, sexual things, and maybe that's why it's happened. I'm not saying in this case, but, you know, work on your flirt game.

Yeah, take some of the mystique out of it. Oh, yeah. Like this. Oh, that's working. Is it working, Monica? Are you sweaty? Yeah, I'm too into this. What about this Like this. Oh, that's working. Are you sweaty? I'm too into this. What about this? I'm so into that. Everyone stop.

Please stop it. I like it too much. Let's switch it up again. What do you guys think? This one's about how to stop being a picky eater. What's the tweet say? There's a tweet say this is from at Cap'n M.M.

I'm sorry, what? What? That's what it says. Cap'n M.M.? It's C-A-P-N underscore E-M-E-M. So Cap'n M.M. Is it like a backwards meme? Oh, yeah.

Cap'n Meme. Cap'n Meme. Yeah. You did that. Meme lord. Wow. There she is. I'm a detective.

Cool. Next question. So I guess our is. I'm a detective. Cool. Next question. So I guess our tweet said, in a pickle? And so she was like, speaking of pickles, how can I stop being a picky eater? I won't even eat noodles or hamburgers. If my food is touching, I'm not eating it. I'm 22. I'm too old for this.

Emily. That's her name. Emily. Emily. Emily. M! That's her name. Emily. Emily. Emily. M-M. Your name, I don't think she, maybe she didn't realize it said name backwards. Well, now she has that.

M-M. M-M. M-M. Damn! Damn! You're missing out on so much! It's okay if your food touches, dude. It's all going to the same place and then out the same place.

Also, flavor profiles when things are mixed is fun. Oh, dude. It's all going to the same place and then out the same place. Also, flavor profiles when things are mixed is fun. Oh, yeah. So, there is this thing called ARFID, avoidant restrictive food intake disorder. It's a real thing. I'm not super duper educated about it. I just

know the acronym. That's as far as my knowledge goes. But it's something that you can address in therapy if you are really worried about it. Because if it's something that, you know, if you're if you eat foods that are touching or if you eat foods that are certain textures or whatever, and it makes you feel physically ill. It's like this psychological thing that would be worth looking into if you find that your quality of life is suffering because you're not able to enjoy things that other people enjoy. But what if you're like a Noah?

You're like a Noah who just loves buttered noodles and water. Dude, I think moving to L.A. and working in L.A., I changed my palate completely. Well, your taste buds do change. True. Like, they do change. And, like, you know, I may never get to a day where I like mustard. That's totally fine. Mustard will be fine.

But, like, I was talking about black coffee. Like, I used to never drink black coffee. But a couple years ago when I did a pageant as a joke. But I had to, like, drink coffee straight up black. And I liked putting sugar and cream. But week one, it was horrible. Week two, a little less horrible. Week three, a little less horrible.

And then by week four, I love black coffee. And ever since then, I've like my taste buds have changed. And so I like black coffee. I like things that are a little less sweet, less salty. Like your taste buds can change. You can get used to it. Just like Monica said earlier, beer. The first time I drank beer, it was horrible.

Now it's my favorite thing in the world. I'm still not there. I still can't get down with beer. We'll bully you into it. You want to bully me? I can give you some cider-ish beers that you probably would really love. Yeah, I probably could transition deeper like, deeper into the beer community. Yeah, because I started with, like, fruit beers.

And I was like, oh, they're fruity and fun and sweet. And then you can, your palate changes. Oh, I full on went for it and started with just, like, the worst trash piss beer. Because that's what was available. It's like the opposite of quitting cold turkey. It's just jumping right into the thick of it. Growing up, though, like, I legit, my, especially after my parents were divorced, turkey yeah jumping right into the thick of it growing up though like i legit my especially after my parents were divorced but i was fed very much a lot of just like boring bland fast food

costco microwave dinners nothing i never spicy was very new to me yeah i know a lot of people like that yeah it wasn't until like i started living in. and then I had a boyfriend that just loved spicy food. Like just ended up putting habanero in burgers spicy. But a lot of it is, I mean, like a lot of it is like fear of tasting something that's not good. Like I used to have that issue a lot where I would only want to order specific things at restaurants because I didn't want to risk having a subpar meal. But it's like even Shane's one of his new year's resolutions is to try something new every time he goes to a restaurant yeah i like that yeah i think i've gotten i feel like i specifically have gotten a little less picky and i'm trying to try new things as well because especially when you're eating at restaurants or things like that like they're a

restaurant for a reason your friend's food like just to if you don't want to commit to a full dish but it was, same for me. Like, I grew up in a, like, Asian American household, but mostly eating Asian food all the time. And we didn't have a lot of cheese in our, I used to never have a burger with cheese. I used to, and that's probably why I'm lactose intolerant now. Oh, yeah. But we didn't have a lot of cheese. Now, I get down on a cheese plate.

Hell, yeah. Like, I love cheeseburgers, even though, you know, I'm lactose intolerant. Like, I think your taste can evolve if you just give yourself a little chance here and there. If you're not, like, legitimately suffering. Right. And if you're not, like, you know, if it is just like, oh, I'm a little picky. I'm a little, like, turned off by this. You know, I think, one, think one try something new like incorporate new things

into the every single day so that new things aren't like it's not like oh this one time this month i tried something new and it was gross and i never did it again yeah don't be afraid to to do things that you don't like every single day because honestly it's one bite of food um yeah and find the flavor profiles you like yeah the texture you like because just like mustard no you know you don't have to like it all so it's like if you like only chicken nuggets maybe try like fried chicken and then waffles chicken and waffles like oh yeah like find the flavor profiles that like get you excited and really like be curious about it and see what you like about it. See what you don't like about it.

Because if it's manageable and you just don't like certain types of food, that's totally fine. But if you're at a restaurant and you can only have like buttered bread, that's like something that needs to be acknowledged. I will say, though, that having things for me, if it's something that's completely new, I'm more likely to be into it versus something that's adjacent to something that I already like. Because if because then I'm just missing the thing that I want to be true versus being like this is a whole new flavor, texture experience. It can be its own thing. Yeah. And it's not like, oh, here's a shitty version of a thing I like. Well, I will say like oysters

is like kind of the perfect example because I never liked oysters and Claudio loves oysters. And so he used to take me and I used to just think it was so gross and slimy and stuff. But then they have the, what is it?

The mignonette, the vinegar, like what is it called? Mignonette? I don't know what sounds you're making. I only had oysters once, and it was with you guys. But it's, like, a vinegary thing, and then it has, like, chopped up little onions in it

or shallots in it, and it's kind of, like, kimchi-esque or, like, pickled onions, which I really like. So that was, like, a great way for me to, like, make the oyster something that I now enjoy to eat. Yeah. Because I knew I liked that flavor. And it's so true. Like at the end of the day, it's like if there's anything that you can have experience or experiment with that is has like little to no consequences is food.

Like and also like seeing what your friends eat or like if you're at a restaurant, like what is the waiter like? Because it's odds are it's freaking good. Like I the first time I had ramen, hinky took me to jinya and like that was my first time having ramen that wasn't top ramen like microwave shit so like changed my world changed my life dude or a friend showed me sushi and you're just like yep you i and you end up liking it just because they said it was good i I have something else. I feel like I have this thing where I'm Michael Scott, where I get on a train of thought and I had an idea in the beginning of the sentence and then I just forgot it. I think that's everyone. Yeah.

We're all Michael Scott. Sick. All right. Next. How do you guys feel about giving this advice? You feel good? You feel confident in your answers? I think I'm a pretty good advice giver.

Maybe not in my own to myself. But I think I'm good at giving advice just because I'm also very humble that I don't know everything. I'm just freaking going, shooting at my hips. Is that what old people say? Yeah, they say that all the time. Spitting at my hips. Spitting on your hips. I'm spitting off of my hips-huh, yeah. They say that all that time. Spitting at my hips. Doesn't people say that? Spitting on your hips.

I'm spitting off of my hips. Sorry, Kevin. How do you feel about giving advice? I feel all right. I feel like all my life I learn by observing other people and other people's mistakes. Ooh. So I feel like it's also, yeah, Kevin's nodding his head ferociously right now. So I feel like giving advice to others, yeah, it's much easier than looking inward.

Monica? Yeah, I just, it's just judging in a different way. And I love judging people. Yeah, next time we do this, I want more tea-related, like, drama questions. Like, I'd love to learn what your guys' drama is in your lives and if you need advice. Yeah, tell me all the weird things about your life so I can shit all over it Publicly tweet all your personal friends details like that Bethany spilled milk on me and I beat she to it on purpose

Can you tell me how I can bitch? What's the best advice to bitch slap her? Elizabeth made my feet my food touch and I'm pissed This advice's questions are only from really bitchy first graders. Yeah. Amazing. Who want to just fight. Fentany spilled milk on me. All right.

What do you guys want to answer next? We got how to de-stress. We got... Oh, you said jobs, right? Yeah, we got jobs. Yeah, let's do jobs. How to stay motivated while job hunting. Ooh.

All right. I love that one. I was a hustler when it came to hunting for jobs. Dude, me too. Yeah. Because I moved to L.A to la for a job and then four months later got laid off oh yeah so then i was unemployed for a while how do you stay motivated yeah so here's the at chrissy for tato one asks how do you not get discouraged after failed attempts at landing a job also how does one get a job at smosh let's do the first part first the first part well stay encouraged because it just takes one that's the thing it just takes one gig and then hopefully you impress the people there it could maybe lead

to the next gig and you could build up build up or it just takes one gig to learn enough to be like, I don't want to do this. Like it just takes that one person, that one hiring person to see the potential in you. And so that's the thing that sucks though, is like you can send out a billion resumes and a billion cover letters and all these things and, and not hear anything back. It's very, very discouraging. That being said, the biggest piece of advice is make your resume one page. Make your resume easy to read, visually nice to look at, and make it like I can look at it and just understand what you're about. But without going into too many details. No long paragraphs.

No lies. Do not lie. And especially if you're just starting out, do not lie. Because people don't like liars. They like someone who's honest and is like, hey, I'm looking to enter the work blah, blah, this industry, and I'm really eager and I'm willing to learn and I'm flexible, and that's

all people want to hear when you don't have experience. Agreed. I think one thing I learned and this was in like like starting out jobs like working at a pharmacy or I worked at like a day care for a while. When you apply and sometimes it's just a job application no resumes but resume hell yeah those are great. Call like after you submit it then call if you haven't heard anything call like hey just want to check in because like i've heard that's really good to show that assertiveness and that you're like willing to because some people are afraid of calls and like sometimes when you're able to do that it speaks a lot to your ability um yeah i think call or email i think it depends on the thing yeah some job postings are like do not call and you know like

you know the in 2020, it's like, phone call. But I think like play it by ear in each one. But if it's like, yeah, if it's like a Target or Kmart, you know, Walmart or something like that, like easily call and see what's up, see where they are in the hiring process. And also, you know, maybe lower your expectations because getting, finding a job is really hard really so if you're kind of putting your heart into all of this um into if you're imagining what every job is going to be like and you're already kind of living it then you are going to be hurt and discouraged but cast a wider net you know talk to people around you and see what if they know anyone because it's like most of my jobs i've got because i knew

someone not because i was best friends with someone it's because i asked about it i was like hey what have you seen do you know anyone at this place do you know anyone here do you know about this i literally they're like oh i have a friend of a cousin that and let me see what i can do yeah i harassed friends with my sketch packet and And that's honestly how I got here. Because I was like, hey, would you be willing to look at my sketch packet and then pass it along if anyone's ever looking for someone? And so, you know, really just put all the numbers out there. And I don't think about all the packets I sent out to people who did nothing with it because I can't focus on that stuff. I can focus on eventually I got the job. And also, if you're trying to light a fire under your ass,

run out of money. It definitely makes you find a job real fast. Well, you know, I'm always the type of personality that, yeah, if I run out of money, I'm going to be like doing a side hustle that's maybe not my career, but, you know, it's helping me eat. I think that's just my personality type. I'm willing to like buckle down and get it done. But yeah,

especially if you know that it's temporary. Exactly, exactly. And it can easily get discouraging job hunting. And also the amount of jobs that are just like hiring full time right now is like so rare. So it's really like, how can you best situate yourself to have the best arsenal of things to fire off when you need to make sure that resume is solid and make sure you know, like how to talk to people, work on your interview skills, like all those things. So just when the opportunity does come, you'll be ready to go. And you might not recognize it as the right opportunity at that time. like you may go to an interview for a job you don't really want and they want to hire you but there's really it can't hurt you

to take the job see how it is yeah and then decide from there but collect the paycheck in the meantime and i did tweet this a while ago like if you show up at a new job and the first week you're like overwhelmed, tired, crying, like you feel out of it, that is normal. Do not quit your job after a week. And I'd say give it a month at least. It's not three months. Because there's so much going on up in the air and you're going to be overwhelmed. overwhelmed and it's just really like the people that push through that and really really like have a goal in mind of like i want to really see what this is about and can i manage it in my life like those are the people that are really going to gear up for success i think also like i can't help but believe like we have a path that's happening and like we are meant to be wherever

we're at so like if you're being rejected and stuff like it's just not meant to be i think staying positive and looking forward to when you do get that new job, like there's going to be so many new people in your life. They're going to see be seeing all the time, like look forward to wherever you go. Like don't don't dwell on the failed attempts because like there's no point. There's no point. And ask the people around you maybe who have a little more experience for advice. And don't be afraid to ask those questions. I've done.

I've many of our friends, I've been like, send me a resume and given makeovers too. And then they go out and get a job. Yeah, you've helped a lot of people with that. Yeah, because I believe in sharing the love. Like why do these people, why do my friends and people that I care about

or even, I don't even have to care about them. I just want to help because it's like, I had to go through so many things. I had to make the mistakes. Why should they go through the mistakes? Like I can help them. I can give them the cheat codes. You never know when someone then is going to be in a position to be able to help you.

Yeah. Which is maybe that's a bad way to look at things. No, but that's like it's nice. Speaking of cheat codes, every job interview I've ever had, they always want to ask you what your three weaknesses are. Always have those planned ahead of time. Do not say you care too much. Goddamn, that makes you seem really ingenuine.

I think I'm just going to give away the ones I've given. Just be honest. Yeah, just be honest. Mine were always, I am not great with names sometimes. I lose track of time, which sometimes can be seen as a good thing because I'll just keep working. Or that might be seen as a good thing because I'll just, like, keep working. Or that might be seen as I'm being late, but I'll let them take that as they will. And then I had one third one that was really good.

But, yeah, always have those prepared. And, yeah, practicing interviewing. I say I'm too pretty. I'm too smart. I'm too humble. And too horny. Yeah, I do a fourth one. I'm too horny for this world. That's the fourth. I'm too horny for too humble and too horny yeah I do a fourth one I'm too horny

for this world that's the fourth I'm too horny for this world too horny and number five I give too many examples also

I don't know how to count oh yeah I had a story number nine I once tried to help a friend with a resume once and she was she was at my house

this was years ago she's at my house and this is the friend I cut out of my life she was at my house and I was years ago. She's at my house. And this is the friend I cut out of my life. She was at my house. And I was about to go work for a few hours. And she was trying to figure out her resume. She needed a job. She was already living in LA and was trying to figure it out.

Didn't have a job. So I showed her my resume and then showed her a template to type her own in. And a couple hours later, I came back from work and she was still there working. And I saw that she was just copying mine completely copy pasting my resume and that was really sad so don't do that don't just copy what you see making your own make it easy to read make it one page one page one page i don't care if you had a hundred jobs one page yeah and also don't advertise that you've had a hundred jobs. That means that you left a hundred jobs. Yeah.

Just put what's appropriate to it. Yeah. And if you don't have anything appropriate to it put what you have and then be honest about it. Okay.

This one is also a job. Do you want to do this one? Okay. Sure. How to survive a job you hate but need until you find a new one.

Well we kind of just talked about that. Yeah. Sometimes you just got to hustle. Yeah. If you got to end game you just buckle down and do it. And do things that you like outside of work that make you happy and feel fulfilled.

If there are people you like at work, foster those friendships. And then sometimes you got to tell yourself when you have to do something you don't want to do, that's what the money's for. It sucks, but that's what the money's for. At the end of the day, a job is a job and you're not always going to do the things you like. And that's the thing that I think, like, unfortunately is getting lost in all this, like, treat yourself, love yourself, da, da, da. It's like, yeah, we're going to treat ourselves and love ourselves. But also sometimes we just got to fucking work. And challenge ourselves.

We got to challenge ourselves. But do have a light at the end of the tunnel. Something that you're working towards of, like, this is the job I really wish I had. And how do I get there? Exactly. Make that happen for myself. Yeah. I will say, like, and it's speaking to surrounding yourself with people at work that you like and spending a lot of time with them.

Like, I learned at previous jobs being with people that I disliked very much. But learning to coexist with people that you dislike. That was something very valuable. A tool that I learned was just how to coexist with people that you just don't agree with and don't vibe with. It's a very important tool because there will be shitty people everywhere you go. And that shouldn't ruin who you are.

Yeah, find the silver linings also in that job if there are any. For me, when I used to waitress on top of working a production job, is I really like to, like, talk to random people. I was like, and tell them about beers. Like, that was my silver lining was, like, what other job do you, like, walk up to strangers and you're, like, just starting a conversation. Or if they're, like, sodas in the break room, take two every day.

Bring them home. Look forward to that. starting a conversation or if they're like sodas in the break room take two every day bring them home look forward to that this one i personally really look forward to answering are you both in therapy are we all in therapy are you i am not in therapy i got dumped by my therapist what can we talk about that can you tell the story can you tell the story yeah yeah yeah oh my god so uh I started going to therapy. Like, this was, I don't know, maybe four or five months ago. I had been having really bad anxiety. One of the things that we were talking about was how I overthink everything and I, like, just overanalyze stuff.

Relatable. Yeah, very relatable. I assume that people think the worst of me when i mean i'm sure the reality is that they don't think of me at all which would be tight um no no no i'm good with that mustard is fine this was maybe my third session and um we started the session off with talking about this thing i do and how hard uh on myself I am and how that's not reality and stuff. And 20 minutes into the session, she's like, oh, by the way, I am going to be taking a break from doing therapy. I can set you up with another therapist in this office. And it felt like it

came in the middle of the sentence to me. So I was like, oh, no, consider this right now. She's like, this is the moment I've been, it's in the movie where she's like, I need to quit being a therapist. Wait, okay.

So then, and I'm like, oh, yeah, I mean, this is kind of out of the way for me. So I don't really want to see another therapist

in the office. You're just taking a break. Are you going to get back into it? And then she was really dodgy with me about it. She was like, oh, yeah, in a few months, you could just look me up.

I'll be working somewhere in Burbank. Like, it was really weird about it. Oh, no. So this is a therapy nightmare. So maybe this isn't helpful. But we ended the session early. It was supposed to be an hour session. We ended it after 35 minutes.

Oh, my God. No. Did you have to pay for the full session? My insurance paid the copay my insurance um so i left and i was just so dumbfounded because i'm like that's weird that's and i thankfully had the presence of mind to think it's funny that i'm talking about how i think people secretly hate me and And then, like, my therapist is just like, I don't do therapy anymore. Bye. Don't call me. You made her quit.

The fuck? Yeah, she essentially, like, in a nice way, ghosted me. That being said, I'm going to get back into it. It's scary at first to be like, I'm going to talk to this person, a new person about this stuff. Yeah, starting over must be tough. Yeah, I went to therapy when I was in my teens.

It was very beneficial for me. Why, were you a bad girl? Bad girl. No, I had some things I had to work through. Oh, yeah. Being bad. Well, the question is from at Smosh Tour. Wow, they got that at.

Whoa, you guys are going to be on tour when this is live. Oh, yeah. Speaking of which, we still have tickets left for San Diego and Phoenix, which is happening. Yeah, how's the tour going so far? It's going so great. One day we'll be like the Tiny Meat Gang and be able to record these while on tour. Yeah, we still have tickets in San Diego and Phoenix. If you want to come, please.

It's going to be really fun. It's going to be so much fun. Yeah. So, yeah, at Smosh Tour. You secured that at uh what are you guys what are your guys experiences going to therapy i've considered trying it out but don't know much about it so i will just say to that like sometimes it's also like finding the right therapist and sometimes like you you think you've like yeah this therapist is doing their job but

like sometimes they're they'll fucking ghost you and clearly they weren't there for you fully they're humans too yeah it's like dating you gotta find your right person you gotta find your right therapist but i think if you're genuinely needing that in your life like do it i think everybody needs it yeah i think if you if you are especially if your insurance covers therapy do it even if you don't think you need it it's great to have someone to talk at yeah and if you have health insurance and i think this is mostly an american thing if you use psychologytoday.com yep you can find a therapist under your under your insurance i found my therapist through that she ended up not being under my insurance but her bios because like

you see you see their profile what they specialize in and i'm sure there's other websites that are equivalent to this in other places but her bios just spoke to me in a way that i understood compared to the other ones and uh we talked on the phone and like we're laughing on the phone i was like this is cool we're clicking and and she's the best like i i would invite her to my wedding if it wasn't weird you know yeah because i wouldn't want people i don't know what's your wedding courtney uh tomorrow yay yay i didn't get an invite i'm marrying myself um no i don't know but like she's that level um i think i think i got very lucky though because i feel like uh i've heard people will have gone to therapy for a while and they will i don't i feel like they're not always utilizing their therapist in

the best way well i mean it's a two-way street yeah so it's like the therapy can't hurt you or can't help you if you're not if you're not being open if you're just like yeah i'm like you know the sky is blue and i had a burger today like you're just not able to unpack anything or if you're not willing to put in the work, because I think that acknowledging that there's something that you need to change is the easy part. Even though that's obviously, that's a huge thing of being like, oh, I do this thing. I've identified it, but then working through it and changing that, that's work and it's not fun and it's not easy. And it's very, very hard. Yeah. But then you get to be a better person. I feel like I have this knack of wanting to face

my issues or face issues head on so i think i got lucky in the sense that i went into therapy and i was just like i'm afraid that i'm crazy like i and i just listed out all my fears just i literally the can of worms was open and poured out on the table because i was just like this is their job like they need to handle this and if they can't handle this then i'll go to the next one and i think i've said this before but it's like this is literally someone that you're paying to tell them whatever you want whatever you feel about a person or what you like it is your diary out in the world and like they are that person to tell you like like if you're like am i crazy or is this normal because one of the things i've learned so

much is like hey that's normal that you're feeling that. No, you're not crazy for thinking this thing and are validating your feelings because there are some, like sometimes you just have friends or relationships where they don't fully understand your day or what you're going through, but you will, and especially if you find the right therapist

and you go to them for a while, then they are that person who fully understands you and it's best to get them before any crazy shit happens. Well, yeah. And it's like it's the same thing of like what you said earlier about bullying yourself and talking to like yourself as a kid. Like those are the things that if you were to say those things to your friends, it would honestly like hurt the relationship. Yeah. Hurt your friends.

It's like for me, it's like I don't want my friend talking about herself like that. Yeah. But those are the things you unpack in therapy yes and that that doesn't affect your actual relationships and it's a person that you like that is their job that's what they're there for so you're not that friend who's just like rolling up to everyone with their weird emotional baggage and dumping your stuff on your friends because obviously you know your friends want to be there for you and stuff but don't if you're only the person who's yeah don't make yeah don't make other people responsible for those things like and a therapist will be that person who's like if i'm like i just feel like i'm so stupid and she's like whoa whoa whoa well stop don't call yourself that and she'll

catch you in that moment right then because if you're like take off that filter when you're with a therapist yeah i agree because you don't want to you don't if you go to a therapist don't try and say things in the nicest way or or the best way possible because that is not like just say it how you want to say it because like that helps them it's literally like helps them understand you and fix the problems like i've been going to mine for over a year now and like just last week i realized that there was something that I hadn't addressed and I needed to talk about like all the time even when I don't think I'm gonna have anything to talk about I'll come out and be like I had been crying and I'm like fully healed about

something and it's just I'm so lucky that they were there and ready to understand me yeah that's awesome yeah and when I went to therapy when I I was, it was, it was monumental. It was really like, it was actually life-saving for me. So I think it's like, if you're willing to sit down and like looking at yourself is the hardest thing to do and really addressing what is wrong with me and not hating yourself over and realizing you're human is very, very hard, but it's super necessary if you want to be healthy like mentally and with your relationships because as soon as you work on yourself everything else will like click into place a little better and i had a lot of friends growing up that genuinely needed therapy and they just completely would shut the idea down because they think only crazy people go to therapy i feel like that's kind of old news and old stuff now but yeah it is a preemptive band-aid i feel like that's kind of old news and old stuff now. But, yeah, it is a preemptive Band-Aid, I feel like, when there's nothing wrong. And then it is the Band-Aid on whatever you need help on. Well, we have how to de-stress.

I like the de-stress one because it's like we'll end it on a nice note. Yeah. So this will help you de-stress for the rest of your day, for those of you who are starting your day with this pod. And this pod is making you really stressful. Yeah, we're stressing you the hell out. Or it's the end of the day and it's time to de-stress from the day. Here we are.

Let's do it. So the tweet is from at BlueBellaBunny. That's cute. Hey, freshman in college here. Just wondering, is there a good way to lower stress levels? Because second semester is kicking my butt.

Any tips or tricks would be awesome. Love you guys. Love you. How do you de-stress, Courtney? Yeah. It's on and off with my ability to de-stress. But therapy is a great help in at least understanding why things stress me out. Because sometimes I'm just stressed out about things to be stressed out about things.

Mapping out what you're stressed about. Something I've learned is you take out a a notebook write out what's stressing you out and sometimes those things aren't really worth stressing over and you just gotta let go i like that a lot yeah and then or if there's things if there's clearly a stress there how do you plan on addressing it or how how would you feel better if that thing would disappear how can you make that thing disappear because sometimes when you're stressed out your brain kind of just becomes spaghetti. And like you got to write it out. You know, you want to write it out, comb out that pasta and just figure out what's really the issue.

I know. I don't know. I like that visual. I want to comb pasta now. Yeah. Turn that mess into an organized mess and then, you know, get rid of the unimportant stuff. Because like I will find myself stressing over things that there's no point. And the answer to those stresses is, like, this has been my mantra for a long time, is detach from outcome. At the end of the day, you can't always control what's happening, but you can control how you react.

You can't. Exactly. Yep. And you can find a lesson in the negative things and be thankful for the positive things. And then, like, breathing, just stop and breathe. Like when you're stressed and you're feeling overwhelmed, just go outside, just breathe. If you don't have a notebook on you, because sometimes we don't always have that when we're like in the middle of something.

But and then just sometimes just like looking at the faces of the people you care about. I just feel like it's weird that you mostly looked at Sarah when you said that you just kind of look past. Just switch fast. Yeah. I care about you, Monica. I care about you, Monica. I care about you. Your insecurities are coming out.

I'm comparing you two. Who's better? Don't answer that. No, you're both amazing in your own ways. Just those people are there for a reason. I like that a lot. That's great. They're always there for you.

Even when you feel like, I don't feel like unloading my stresses on this person. You don't have to. They're this positive energy in your life that is just there for a reason and they'll help you even just by existing. So yeah, what about you guys? For me, yeah. For me, Claudio helps me a lot.

He always like when I'm like losing my mind sometimes, well, he calms me down most of the time, yeah. And then sometimes I'm just not consolable. But, yeah, so he's there. Obviously, the cats, a thousand percent the cats. And, like, I used to, like, laugh at my mom because she would always, like, growing up, she would just go to the dogs and be, like, and I'm like, dude, if we didn't have the dogs mom would like be murdering us and it's like now I understand because I come home and they're just like following me and meowing me and they don't talk and you just like they're just so wonderful so definitely the pets like help me out a million percent like they really are just like support and just make my house feel

like a home and it's just like wonderful and then then for me, it's like, it's like the small rewards that helped me get through it. So for me, I like getting massages done or going to the Korean spa or even just, yeah, I mean, I have to force myself to go to the gym because my body feels so much better when I go to the gym. So I'm working on that this year. That's the one thing I'm trying to work on, loving my body a little more and being less frustrated with it and treating it better.

So that's like 2020 goal for me. Those are the things, maybe like a little, you know, treat like a meal, like a little pad thai that's like naughty. Yes. But not going overboard. So it's like all a balancing act with that.

But yeah, just the little tiny rewards, something to look forward to is always really fun for me. Target always makes me feel better. Even just walking around, even if I don't really buy much. Oh my God, Target stresses me out so much. Really? Yes. Oh God.

I don't know. And also makeup, actually. As dumb as that sounds, it's like really fun because it's a hobby of mine that I get to do every day. It's a form of meditation too. It's anything that you can do where you are shutting off the part of your brain that's like, these are the things I have to do. And then you're doing something that requires all your focus, but it's something you

enjoy. So for me, it's going to the gym, specifically climbing, because that's all I'm thinking about in that moment. Cooking is a great one because it uses my hands. It uses my mind. Like everything is in use. So the worrying part of my brain is just shut off. So I think it's important to do things with your hands. So I agree. Yeah.

For me, it's like painting. I get to paint. I get to wake up every morning and paint. And so I that's what I do when I like put on my makeup. Oh, yeah. It's just like this nice thing. I'm trying to get into more hobbies, and I want to read more books. But it's hard, and I want to get back into sewing. I used to sew and knit and do all those things.

So I want to get back into them. And even if it's something as simple as building a Lego thing or whatever, do something that uses your hands. Yeah, that's great i like that uh fuck i had something oh no that was a separate thing all right so that was my brain doing his thing um that was me i thought i had one last thing on how to de-stress what's your guys's like smells? I was just asked this on Grace Helbig's podcast. But what's your favorite de-stressing smell? I love vanilla. It relaxes me.

I think it's because my stepmom, when I was younger, she was this amazing energy. So now the smell of vanilla is just completely relaxing to me. Apple, cinnamon apple. Oh, very fall. You're very fall. Yeah, very autumnal. Yeah. And then there's some like Urban Outfitters candles that really do the trick for me, like teakwood and tobacco.

Tobacco? Teakwood and tobacco. It doesn't smell like tobacco, but it's a lovely, calming smell. Oh. What about you guys? For me, it depends. So I like, as a smell, I like sandalwood and I like jasmine a lot. But something that always feels a little calming is the smell of onions and garlic cooking because it's just like, you know, growing up. Yeah. Food is such a comfort thing. My mom always cooked. I cook. So that anchors me and makes me feel like I'm home. So that's a very just calming smell. That's the smell of white rice to me, honestly. Yeah.

Like it calms me when I'm sick or something. I love just having like rice and kimchi, and that just like calms me because of the smell and the taste and everything. I really like minty. I like eucalyptus. I like spearmint, and I like citrus, but they're all toxic to cats. So be aware if you're into essential oils that there are lots that are toxic to cats and dogs. So be careful with those.

And I also, well, this is like a weird thing and it's totally side, but I love the smell of like laundry exhaust. You know, when you're like drawing, yeah, you know, when you're like drying something in the dryer and then it was like had a pipe going out and it was like that exhaust. So when I was younger, I used to like stand under them and like, like I loved how that smelled. Probably not okay. Oh, dude, I love the smell of gas burning, like a two-stroke engine or like a really shitty car. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I don't know why i love like campfire wood when you smell like campfire for a little bit that's nice too the smell of asphalt and when it starts raining that's a great smell love that i hate that one isn't there like a term

for that smell really there's a japanese word for it but i don't know what that smells like dirt to me i don't know what it is i think it's's a childhood smell, like being on the blacktop. And then the gas station or the smell of boat fuel. It was just pretty much a trick of gasoline, but like a childhood thing of the days. Petrichor is the name of the asphalt smell. Petrichor. Wow. Petrichor.

I think that was a word. That was a spelling bee word. Yes. Yes. That's why I was like, why? I was like, i was like yeah that sounds really familiar oh the smell smell is like the top memory like callback yes so if you smell a smell like your memory will like like you know your ex's cologne and you're like yeah

yeah yeah there and then there's definitely like essential oils. I know that it can be toxic to cats, but those also can be very calming. They're very calming. Do your research, please. But yeah, hopefully that was all helpful to you guys. Especially that de-stressing. Hopefully that was a good way to... I think that's a great way to end the podcast, actually. Yeah, I think so, too.

Yeah, let's get out of here. Now carry on with the rest of your days like that. Take what we've given you and go. Do you want to shout out anything in particular? Yeah, it's time to do all the stuff. Okay. Well, do you guys have anything you're working on or you want to shout out right now? Me, personally? Yeah, like on your own time?

The painting? Painting my face. Your nails? Can't wait to see what's next with your nails, Sarah. I'm going to glue all the ones that fell off back on. Hell yeah. See how long that lasts. Recycled art.

Let's see how long that lasts. If they don't stick, can I have them? Yes. Well, it's because I've been working out so much, and they just fall off. Yeah, I can't do that. And you just can't look cute while working out, and it just freaking sucks because it's like literally all I have right now because I'm trying to prove myself. It's fine. I'm fine, guys.

De-stress. De-stress. De-stress. What about you, Mom? You got anything? What's up, money? Shout out to prove myself. It's fine. I'm fine, guys. De-stress. De-stress. De-stress. What about you, mom? You got anything? What's up, money? Shout out to my son. Love your son.

Don't listen to this. Shout out to my son. Oh, he, Arlo has started saying, oh, shit, when he drops stuff. Oh, no. Who did he learn it from? Who did he learn it from? My wife and I have been arguing over that. Amazing.

We don't know which one of us it is. Sometimes he says uh-oh, which is very cute. And sometimes he's just like, oh shit. You're like, shit, no! Oh shit! He said oh shit! So shout out to that. Nice. I like that.

Shout out to cute baby stuff. Another shout out, we have some new merch in the merch store it's some cute stuff I'm very excited about it we got academy

weird sounds shirt heck yeah we've got a diary shirt it's called no more boys and it's so

soft too it's so cool oh I would love that shirt yeah and then we've got a a smosh

floral a smosh floral hoodie and we're doing a throwback shirt that's just got shut up all over it and a little a throwback shirt that's just got shut up all over it

and a little secret all of us in the office wrote shut up including the cast so it's a I'm loving this I'm very excited I'm looking at the pictures

right now if you guys love these podcasts keep listening or keep watching if you're watching keep watching them on the Smosh cast YouTube channel

subscribe thank you if you already have and hit that bell if you don't want to miss the next one. Full video episodes come out on Fridays. But if you want to listen to the full audio episodes sooner. It's on all your listening apps and those come out on

Wednesdays. Uh oh. I like the pose at the end. Guys we just casted a pod. Whoa. We did. Good god we just casted a pod. Whoa. Yeah, we casted that pod. We did. Good god. Good god. Good job.

Good game. Good job. Good job. Good game, god. Good game, god. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. We'll see you next time.