Smosh Mouth - S2: #66 - The Return of The Damien & Shayne Show!
Episode Date: June 3, 2020The Damien & Shayne show returns! Well, sort of. The boys are roasting their bosses, discussing what it’s like to work with your best friend, and debating matching friendship tattoos. Learn ...more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Hey everyone,
before we start this,
I can't start this podcast without bringing up George Floyd
and the many other racial injustices that are happening and have happened in this country.
And I just want to say that Smosh stands fully behind the Black Lives Matter movement. And if
you want to get involved, we've posted four organizations on our Twitter, and we strongly
encourage you to support any of them. I would suggest the NAACP Legal Defense Fund. It's a
great organization, but obviously it's
tough times for a lot of people out there. So if you can't support, there's a lot of other
ways to get involved and we strongly encourage you to do that. So with that said, enjoy this
best friends pod that was recorded a little while ago. Well, I mean, that's literally like
how we met. You came out of your dressing room and you're just like, hey man, I think I kind
of like interrupted you at lunch yesterday when we were all talking.
So I'm really sorry about that. That's me. Putting others before yourself is not a bad thing,
but sometimes you have to take up space yourself and be okay with that and know that you're worth
being able to do that. And I think you are now. After Disney, we both thought like our careers
were going to stay steady. Neither of us thought we were going to be famous, but we were like, but we're going to get work. We've never both gone
to an Aspen tree and said, baby, please. Baby, please. Oh shit. We just did. Oh, the stork is
barreling through my window at breakneck speeds. Oh God. There's a dead stork, but the baby survived.
What do I do with this dead stork? It's protected in California. I can't go away for this.
Shane, I will do the intro stuff, but then otherwise always feel like you can do whatever.
This is us.
Oh, of course, man.
This is just chill.
And even though this is like two siblings that are being left at home by their parents,
Infinity did put me in charge as the older, more powerful sibling.
Jesus Christ.
Already starting off.
I know, we're here, right?
What's up, everybody?
And welcome back to yet another SmoshCast.
We are so excited you decided to join us today
because today is going to be a very fun, very special cast
between two people and only two people.
Usually we have way more.
You heard that voice just now.
You know who it is.
Well, first of all, my name is Damien Haas and this is my best friend.
Shane Topp.
Shane Topp.
That's what I was going to say.
Damn.
I was going to say, look at him.
Four letters in our last name.
That's all you need.
That's all you need.
Look at that boy.
Legs all the way to the ground.
Two arms.
Two arms.
That maybe work.
Teeth. Flipping flipping mouth chalk full of them um just so many no spaces for new ones um but yeah guys today we're going to be doing a best friends cast there
isn't necessarily a rhyme or reason to it we want to sort of free form talk you know we have the
questions that you guys have been asking us over the years and we could have asked for those yet again but we kind of just want to check in and see how we're
feeling right now just the two the two dudes the two dudes yeah just uh just a recap on our
friendship and uh see where things are now speaking of recap what do what do people so for those who don't know us or
whatever how do we very quick recap what's our friendship story all right so we were both on
disney channel i was like do you forget uh so wait ah shit what how did it go uh we were both
on disney's so random where we worked together for about eight months and became best friends. And then after that
we were
unemployed for a long time
and we became roommates.
Roommates. And remained friends and we
weren't always roommates in that span of time.
Eventually I joined Smosh.
Then eventually I was able to get Damien on
Smosh. And now here we are.
Here we are, baby. And the rest is history.
Thank you so much for joining us.
That's it.
That's it, that's all of them.
No, so we've just got some random questions
from our, from that we've written ourselves
and that our dear head writer has also written.
But some of his are ridiculous, like who smells better?
Yeah, our boss likes to ask very strange questions.
He likes to try to start drama amongst us,
which is impossible.
Yeah.
Just can't happen.
You can't.
He's always like,
he's always like,
hey, hey,
they're the two boys.
Hey, listen,
I do have a question for you.
Okay.
Which one's funnier?
I'm just fucking with you,
but just kidding.
Hold on.
Which one is stronger?
No, just kidding.
Which one gets the girl?
Which one's the best smelling man
that gets the girl?
And he's just like,
okay.
Oh my God. I've said it before the
most insane people at smosh are behind the camera yes you never see them you never hear them but
they are the craziest yes and and arguably the funniest too but just in a sometimes in a scary
sometimes in a scary way uh it's actually yeah i never know what i'm gonna get with him and it's
it's a good thing it's a good thing he texts's a good thing. He texts. Sorry, go on.
I was actually going to say he texts to ask permission to call, which is always super nice.
And you're like, sure.
And then you hop on call with him.
He's just like, hey, Damien, there's the boy.
Hey, listen, what are your thoughts on like big cats?
And I'm like, like, like my fat ass cat.
And he'll be like, no, no, like ocelots, tigers, panthers.
Like, what kind of what do you say?
I'm like being near them. He's like,'s like yeah super just like being near them and like
feeding them meat hey i'm just kidding listen can you give me that script like that's never
happened but like it's a hundred percent of oh i would i fully believed that that was real
he texted me last night at like 8 p.m it just just texted me shane question mark exclamation
mark question mark exclamation mark he just texted me out of nowhere sh mark, exclamation mark, question mark, exclamation mark.
He just texted me out of nowhere, Shane.
And I respond, I'm like, it was just a question mark.
He just goes, just checking in, man.
I was like, I'm doing good.
He's like, awesome.
Love to hear it.
And I was just like, how are you doing?
He's like, I'm great.
I was like, what the heck is going on?
I think that's really sweet, though, because it's very difficult for when someone is like
a tippy top boss and you're their employee.
It's difficult to maintain a good friendship there.
But I do consider Finnerty a friend.
So, you know, there are those times where like he'll text me on a Saturday and he just
wants to show me something cool, but it sounds like work.
And so I'm like, oh, I'm getting work fixed on a Saturday.
But it's actually just him being like, hey, I want to show you this cool, fun thing I found.
I just feel bad.
Yeah, I think probably part of it is like being our boss.
There's always that trepidation of like, oh, crap, did I do something wrong?
Or is there some work involved here?
So there's no way for him to contact us without it
having that response
in some sort of way he's gonna hear all this
oh he's yeah this is
boss cast no longer smosh cast or
bros cast this is boss cast
just boss cast just gonna talk about our bosses
not much they suck Sarah Whittle
get out of here
Ian Hecox if that is your
real name stop stop it.
Yeah.
Just stop.
Stop.
Stop it.
Stop it.
Just get out of town.
How do you feel about hopping into some of these questions now that we're done with Finner
DeCaster?
Yeah, I think it's I think it's a very good time for us to be doing this because I'd actually
like to point out something crazy.
We learned in the pod.
Was it last week or the week before that you and i got into acting
the exact same way exactly not and not just like oh i signed on and then i did a commercial
no literally exact same way third grade play was it third grade for you too it was it for me it was
fifth grade oh wow so just a couple grades off but interesting but it was willie wonka and the chocolate factory
and not only that we both played the role of willie wonka that's right that was our breakout
role was the exact same i think subtly that might be what started our like anime style rivalry like
you know where it's never a bad rivalry but it's always like i've got to get stronger for that because if you think about it where i'm about a year older than you
you did in fifth grade and i did it in third so i was three years ahead of you yeah in okay power
level and career strength points just sixth grade just super career strong yeah well my power level at sixth grade was incredible
by the time i reached sixth grade i had already finished willy wonka three years ago by the time
you finished you got to sixth grade it had only been one year you were ill prepared damn it i know
shit and i remember all my lines how much community theater did you do how many plays
did you do so much shame see i only did one play really i did you do? How many plays did you do? I did so much, Shane.
See, I only did one play.
Really?
I did Willy Wonka, then I did Best Christmas Pageant Ever.
That was basically a Smosh sketch, wasn't it?
I did that one community theater play, and then I hopped right into film and TV.
You know, just got to keep it moving.
You know what I mean?
Oh, yeah.
No, I mean, I guess some people who don't practice just working on the craft and honing
it before jumping in the water.
That is definitely a move some people would make.
That's fair.
I myself caught the bug of the theater and the bard after Willy Wonka and was in a legally distinct from Disney version of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.
And then Tom Sawyer, Charlotte's Web.
I was in the Life and Adventures of Santa Claus. Really just bangers. Dwarves. Oh. And then Tom Sawyer, Charlotte's Web. Oh.
I was in The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus.
Really just bangers. Wow.
Those are some classic works there.
Yes. That is some Daniel Day-Lewis level, yeah, criteria.
And then you also trained,
you did train classically.
You studied musical theater.
I studied The Blade.
You fool. While you were busy kissing girls, I studied the blade. While you fools were...
While you were busy kissing girls, I mastered the blade.
I don't know if I stole that from Game Grumps or if that's a well-known meme.
I think it's just a meme.
I just see the meme everywhere.
While you fools were out partying.
I studied the blade.
I studied the blade.
No, so yeah, I trained classic voice training for singing and stuff because like musical theater.
And then I did like a touring company thing in Atlanta where I went from like school to school to school and put on these plays and actually got paid to do it.
So, wow, gosh, I guess while you were being a professional on camera actor, I was being a professional theater actor.
One of those sounds way harder to do in this day and age.
I wonder if this,
we're just going to mess with each other the whole time.
Just,
just shit talking the whole time.
So,
uh,
what Shane,
enough about me.
What are your credentials?
What are you,
um,
what are you good at?
Anyways,
moving on.
What gives you the right?
Why? Um, so, why are you speaking? Anyways, moving on. What gives you the right? Why?
So, Damien, why are you speaking?
Anyways.
Oh, God.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
Dude, it's so crazy to think back that you were like, you were doing the classic college life when I met you.
Yeah, sort of.
On Disney, like you were at Disney Channel working every week while still like living
with a bunch of college roommates. I think you were still, were you still going to some
classes at the beginning? I was. Dude, that's nuts. It was crazy. I would wake up super early
for like, I had this like science general elective and I would like skateboard to the class as fast
as possible, hop in, like take the test, finish and immediately
bolt out the door and like skateboard to get to my car to drive to Hollywood.
I would make it to so random stuff like directly on time with not a minute to spare and be
like, I think I passed that test.
You know, it was it was too much.
That's what's funny is that sounds like a Disney sitcom in itself.
Like, yeah, boy, I'm late for class, but I got to go to this show I work on.
Yeah.
It's like two lives.
He's got two, two lives.
How's he do what he do?
And then I just, it ends with me going like plump.
And then the title screen
and I'm crossing my arms for anyone who doesn't.
Yeah.
Doing the classic Disney cross arms.
Cross arms.
So yeah, I think friendship questions about us,
if you wouldn't mind, can I hop onto this list a little bit?
Do it.
Do it, man.
I mean, let's warm up real quick before we hop into the nitty gritty stuff.
There's a question on here that says, who has better taste?
And I originally would think that that means like who has good taste and things,
but it is directly after the question who smells better,
which makes me think that they are sort of like, if a blind folded person licked an arm,
who would they be like, ooh.
Ah, man.
I don't feel like I would taste good.
I feel like I probably, I'm just bland.
Really?
Yeah.
I would say that I'm just bland.
My diet is very boring for the most part, I think.
But that's the thing, Shane.
Like, first of all, you smell like pepper.
So that's some seasoning right there.
You're the only one who says that.
I don't think so.
No one else has said that I smell like pepper.
Well, I don't think anyone else has the right because I'm your best friend.
I can say that to you.
I don't think I think other people probably like wait till you're gone.
They're like, does he smell like pepper to you?
And they're like, I think he smelled, was that him?
No, that was him?
Like, yeah.
I like the idea of you stopping someone from saying what I smell like because they don't
have the right, like, like, oh, Shane, you smell like, and you're just like, oh, you
may not.
I put my entire hand over their face.
I'm like, you basketball shoved them away.
You will not say that to him.
You grab their face, lift them one foot off the ground, and then throw them.
That's true.
I am quite the supervillain.
If we're talking about food, though, you definitely do have better taste than me.
Like, you have an insane palate.
Oh, thanks, man.
Whenever we travel, you're the one, you know about every food.
And it's not just like, like when we were in Australia, you were like, oh yeah, this there,
they serve this type of crab here that is only native to this region of Australia. And I was
like, what? I was like, I would never know that. I appreciate that. I think it's because I'm such
a glutton and that's what I'm excited about. So it's not like i'm googling like things to do in australia what beach should i go to i'm like okay what's the best
most decadent food that i can only get here and then they in australia they were like well it's
a weird underwater sea bug it looks like a nightmare from a uh from the dude who produced
alien and you're like great gimme it like i don Like, I don't know. It was created by James Cameron.
James Cameron.
But I don't know, man.
Like, I think in terms of taste of other things,
you generally do better.
Like, I'll gladly take the food one
because I just like being a bit of a new food hunter.
But like, in terms of aesthetics,
like your design eye, you, I you i mean look even the shot of your
apartment right now like there's decoration there's symmetry i've got this going on every
time i come over to your place you're like hey man uh you oh yeah you haven't been here since i did
the blank to my apartment like i turned myself upside down and moved my surfboard into my ceiling
and i'm like oh my god this looks great like no way and like every time i come over it looks better same with clothes i'll be like that's a sick
jacket you're like thanks i decided to invest in it for the year and it'll be like the piece that
i sort of center everything around and i'm like whoa didn't even think you could do that that's
cool like i don't know i think we've for for anime rivals we're pretty aware of each other's
strengths and celebrating them yeah because what i would is, for lack of a better term, I think we're both kind of, I guess, obsessive is a word where we like we hone in on a thing and we're like fascinated by that thing.
And we're all about it.
Right.
Yeah.
And for you, like food, like you're just fascinated.
You want to know all about it.
For me, like if I get into like, oh, like I'll start getting into like, you know, clothing or like sneakers and I'll be like all about all of it. Like I'm like, I want to know everything. Yeah. And so. And I'm
the same way with like different things. So you and I have very similar drives for learning about
stuff too. And I think it's also, you and I are very, we like to take opportunities when we see
them. And I think that's, how to phrase this. If you want to learn something nowadays,
it's on the internet.
All the information is there.
So I think you and I are the kind of people that can't just sit still
knowing that that information is there and we could learn about that thing
immediately.
You know?
Yeah.
It's like we,
we go and do that.
Yeah.
Yeah,
absolutely.
Yeah.
We crave knowledge.
We do at all times.
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I've been on a history kick, man.
That's been my thing.
Yeah, you've been telling me about that podcast you were listening to.
Yeah, I mean, I've been listening to podcasts.
I've been watching historical fiction shows.
I've been reading history stuff. I've been watching historical fiction shows. I've been reading like history stuff.
I don't know.
I don't know why it's suddenly like,
I go through those types of crazes every now and then.
But yeah, man, I'm loving.
I was listening to this podcast all about World War I
and World War II and all sorts of other stuff.
Read a book about Cleopatra earlier this year.
That was nuts.
Whoa, that's dope
i always find that interesting where it's like it's not just information or encyclopedic about
cleopatra it's like a whole book about it i'm like how did are we learning new info about cleopatra
like yeah man oh dude it's so legit the way it's told because it's told like chronologically like
us you know and it's there's some some Game of Thrones level stuff in her life.
I mean, basically they're talking about like and this is way up until even now.
Didn't she die by taking an asp or something?
Yeah, that's the legend.
But I think she ultimately just poisoned herself.
But Mark Anthony, who was I can't remember.
Yeah, he was there with her.
He attempted to stab himself with a sword and it failed to kill him and so he
just like died a slow miserable death um it's damn yeah if you were if you were a uh roman leader
your uh fates were rarely good uh yeah generally basically everyone was trying to kill you um yeah i believe octavian was the one who
was trying to kill her i think i may be wrong there's a lot of information we'll tell you what
i can't fact check you but i think that's interesting i think you are probably enjoying
theater not theater uh history because it is your body telling you it is time to become a father um it's a very dad thing i don't know just like yeah
imagine like coming downstairs it's just like you know there's there's that like singular interview
with a person that's like now the thing we didn't know about herbert hoover at the time is blah blah
and then it cuts to the black and white photos like but herbert hoover's victory was short-lived because you know it's and
that's the history channel um and you can only watch it if you're a dad you can only have to
have a kid like you gotta accidentally flip to the channel and then there's a knock at the door
and be like hey do you remember that time you went to a diner five years ago and saw that really hot
waitress and then things let one led to another and you're like oh is my five-year-old son no
there's no way for that to happen to me but i i often think about that scenario really like i it
look there's no incident in my life where that could have happened i'm just being honest here
but i'm just like how crazy would it be if you found out you had a kid and you didn't know at
all like how crazy would that be i just think about that you just told everyone you had a kid and you didn't know at all like how crazy would that be i just think
about that you just told everyone you were a virgin i'm sorry now it's impossible because
i've never uh i've never held hands with a lady therefore she could not have gotten pregnant
yes and that's how it works but that has not happened we've never rubbed our tummies together
in front of a bird so that it could tell the stork that we're ready.
Exactly.
And therefore...
We've never both gone to an aspen tree and said, baby, please.
Baby, please.
Oh, shit.
We just did.
We just did.
There's an aspen tree.
Oh, no.
It's there.
Oh, the stork is barreling through my window at breakneck speeds.
Oh, God.
There's a dead stork.
But the baby survived.
What do I do with this dead stork? It's in california i can't go away for this baby you take the heat
you're young you can withstand prison i'm getting out of here here take these cigarettes in this
knapsack and go it's the only way i can help you your name octavian never kill cleopatra and don't you go back in time don't you do it it is it is
um 11 45 in the morning uh we we are completely sober this is just how we talk i just woke up so
i had to tie one on you know just the whole thing of jack daniels white cloth for breakfast am i
right everyone no i'm kidding i do like some of these things uh this is a more meaning question would you ever live with each other again oh that's a tough one I think the the thing
is this I do enjoy having my own place I don't know if I ever will end up living with someone
um unless I'm like married or whatever so all, but, and part of the reason is this,
having a job, like with the amount of work we do at Smosh,
I do love coming back to my own space.
Like it has being like, this is my,
mainly for my own kitchen.
And obviously when we lived together,
we had a bunch of roommates.
So the kitchen was always crazy.
It was impossible.
You would get like, you had your quarter of the fridge,
you know, and that just like
drove me crazy and there was nothing to do about it because by the end our roommate situation was
dope like we were all very legit we were like yeah i think we're all you know like we were all
younger like i was definitely not like i'm cleaner and more organized now than i was then like i
definitely would still we would all like throw shit in the sink.
Like we would just all do that sometimes.
I think we worked as roommates though,
not just you and I, but that whole group,
because generally we had similar, you know,
definitions of what was clean and what was okay.
Like, you know, and I think we were okay
with having conversations,
but also like we were young twenties
and living in a house that was for some reason
just the cheapest possible thing. It was falling apart. Like legitimately, it was the type of house
that you would open a cupboard and it would like come off. But at the same time, man, like the rent
was so cheap. Oh yeah. No, it was great. It was great. And it was safe. I felt safe there you were safe enough to live in a shed with no locks i felt semi safe
i didn't feel always super safe that's fair i mean i kept trying to give you karate lessons
and you wouldn't let me do no but these will deflect bullets these karate chops i think i
would live with you again but i don't foresee there being a circumstance where that's even a thing.
Like it's if life happened where we both needed roommates again or whatever, and it was just like, oh, what are we going to do?
I would be more than happy to live with you again.
It's difficult when you work with a friend anyway, but like when you work with a roommate and you're seeing each other all the time, it's not even that you have a problem with each other.
There's just no time to uh like decompress and if i'm associating you with work as well like how could we have a rule where it's
like coming home never talk about work don't do it we got to leave that there like that that would
be tricky don't look at me for the first hour that we're back home don't do it don't look me
don't look me in the eye yeah i that's what i say like if we were both unemployed again like if we
both found ourselves in a situation where we were out of work and
we were trying or we're trying to make ends meet,
we're just working small time jobs.
Then I'd be super down.
Cause that was the situation.
And it was fun because like,
we did have a lot of free time.
We were kind of like figuring out what our lives were.
And so it was really nice to have a friend right there.
Like that was great.
Disney,
like after Disney,
we both thought like our careers
were going to stay steady.
Like I didn't think,
neither of us thought
we were going to be famous,
but we were like,
but we're going to get work.
Like, yeah, well,
you have like a resume now
where it's like, oh,
I might get some guest star roles
more easily, you know?
And when you come out to LA,
you're told like,
all you need is to get
a couple things on your resume.
If you get that one show
on your resume,
then you're going to be just fine.
And we got that. We had 26 episodes of a show on our resume. If you get that one show on your resume, then you're going to be just fine. And we got that. We had 26 episodes of a show on our resume and you're thinking, oh, I'll at least
be able to book commercials. And then years went by and like, I was just, I would, I booked like
one commercial in like three years. I think you and I had little successes here and there,
but like, yeah, it was not a steady stream. Like I had to get a side job right
away. And that was actually the whole reason we became roommates in the first place is because
I, when I first got off of Disney, I was still like, you know, living by myself in a one bedroom
and I was very excited to be doing that. It was, I did that for like, I think I did that for like
a year post Disney before we became roommates. And I literally, I didn't get a job then because
I was like, oh, I have to be available for auditions and this is going to continue on right away.
So I ran out my savings very quickly, but it wasn't out of like laziness.
I legitimately thought like, no, this is the best option.
If I get like a, you know, $8 an hour retail job, like I'm not above working that job, obviously.
But if it interferes with my auditions, then that's no good.
So, yeah, it was, you know, rude awakenings.
It was also a great time in life.
Like, I don't know, we were both just young fellas
figuring out the world, playing video games.
We both had girlfriends at the time
and it was just like living our lives, you know?
I look back on it extremely fondly.
Yeah, you know, like I lived alone right when I was 18
and like pretty much right after I,
like it was a little less than a year that I got so random.
So my first years as an adult, I had this structure of like, oh, I have this great job
and like everything.
And so those few years and the years of us living together was me really like, I became
an adult in a lot of ways because I had to figure things out on my own.
Would you say that this sort of took the place of what would traditionally be a college experience
for you?
Like this was your dorm life?
It's the closest I have of like living with a bunch of people my age.
We're all trying to figure things out.
It's like it's there is a chaotic element to that house because the house, the house didn't.
It wasn't, you know, like I sometimes joke about like, oh, it looked like garbage, whatever.
It didn't.
It like it was a it was a regular house, but it an extremely old house it was from the early 20s or 20s well i don't know close enough
but it was around that time and you know it's just like a mishmash of everyone's furniture
like a lot of areas were just kind of like oh we're just storing our furniture in this corner
of the room dude the ac didn't i didn't have AC in my back house.
And it was too expensive to use it indoors.
So it was hot everywhere.
I mean, blisteringly hot inside.
But the good thing about that is
we all sort of had to keep our windows open
and therefore we got this beautiful cross breeze.
It would feel so refreshing
and I'd sleep with my window open
in the backyard that we shared
because, okay, so it was my
room had a big window, which looked out in our like little concrete seating area in our
backyard.
And then Shane's shed was across the way from there.
So we could shout from each other's windows or whatever.
But there were three fruit trees, one of which was guava.
And the smell of guava in the hot summer sun being the first thing that you wake up to
was incredible.
It was like poetry.
Yeah.
It was so good.
Like, I just have such fond memories of like summer, waking up.
I don't have anything to do today.
Like, ah, God.
Yeah.
And, you know, it's funny.
I love, I do love living alone.
But when I lived in that house, most of my time was spent, I would go to the kitchen
and I would like be
hanging out and talking to whoever was hanging out in the kitchen. Like I did that so often.
And I love that my spot was kind of at that, that table in the kitchen area. Like I would just be
chilling there. I would love to study there just because I was like, oh, people will be walking by
or whatever. I'll just talk to people as they're here. It was really dope. Yeah. I'm getting all
sorts of like sense memories right now. It's weird.
Yeah,
man,
that,
that house was,
that house was cool.
It was really cool.
And living with roommates was cool.
And we,
we filtered through.
So,
cause you know,
people were kind of like coming out of college or just trying to like
figure out where their next step was.
So we went through like,
dude,
we lived with like six different people in the course of a year.
Yeah.
It was crazy.
It was really cool.
But the good thing is that it was never out of conflict.
It wasn't like, this person's out of here
and then this person can't pay rent, they're out of here.
Like it was always just like,
hey guys, I'm moving to Chicago to pursue my dream.
That's great.
Well, someone's gonna take my place.
They're also an artist.
That's great.
Like, you know, it was always fun.
There was never a fight or anything.
No, not really.
I think I had some head-butting with one of our roommates a little bit.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
But I think that's the challenge where, like, I think we both had some growing to do.
I also think that, like, sometimes people go straight from their family lives to, like, a roommate dorm situation.
And you don't really learn what is normal.
Your family life, what is normal to you might be crazy to someone else.
So there's always got to be compromise. So this is a good question. Does working together and
actually Shane, any of these questions that I ask, if you're like, ah, that's heavier,
I don't feel like it. Like just, we can move on to the next one. For sure. Yeah. Does working
together put a strain on the relationship or make it better? So does working together put a strain
on the friendship or make it better? Man, I don't, maybe this isn't a good answer. I don't feel like it has
necessarily affected it. Yeah. Negatively or positively because we, we, our friendship started
working together. Right. Then we went to not working together, but we coming back to this,
you know, it's just going back to how it started. And our job is also so weird. Like the thing is,
our job is often just this, us hanging out talking. If we had a job where it's like,
we are lawyers and at work it's business, even if we have to be cutthroat towards each other
and stuff, it's like, no, our job is to hang out. We create things together. Yeah. I think it hasn't
put a strain on it at all. I think the only way it's really affected it is the fact that i mean obviously before quarantine we would see each other so
often that there's much less of a drive necessarily to like make the time to see each other outside of
it because you spend so much of your week together already so we definitely don't like hang out on
weekends as much anymore but it's not like an active choice it's just like you know i saw you like yesterday you know yeah i'm tired i'm tired too yeah it might be old hearts i will segue though
that that does remind me like obviously you're extremely funny on camera the probably the
funniest the the level of funny that you reach when we're like hanging out playing video games
just just chilling is insane like it's impossible to it's impossible to recreate it on camera
because like there's the element of like oh we're we're on camera i don't know there's just a
looseness but man dude because like i wish i could explain to people listening like the i wish i could do it on
camera uh the hilarity of wombo combo oh but i mean i'm the same way like it's just you're never
like you can't recreate like everyone listening knows like when you're just hanging out with your
friends just relaxing just bullshitting that's when the funniest or at least maybe it isn't the
funniest but i laugh the hardest i'm the same
way yeah it's it's hard to fully let go and just let yourself like be on camera um and i think we're
pretty good at that but at the same time there is like a bit of a pressure and like i often have
two trains of thought running as well where like you know my mind is almost like directing a video
while i'm in it too because coming from a sm games background, that's sort of what I was taught to do.
Like Joven would say stuff like that all the time where like,
I think when I first started Joven really tried to like, you know,
take me under his wing a bit and would, you know, keep giving me advice,
which was appreciated.
So it was always just like,
you've got to be thinking about the story you're telling in the video front
to back. Like, where are we right now?
What would be amazing to see?
Like, what is the best way for this video to end?
And it was, you know,
so that's always run into my mindset as well.
Now, when you're playing Minecraft,
think about what's your drive here?
What does your character want?
And what's standing in your way?
Creepers.
But yeah, I think working with you,
I've learned a lot more about you. And like, I've learned about, yeah yeah I think Working with you I've learned A lot more about you
And like
I've learned about
Yeah I think so
Because I've learned about
Differences between us and well
And just like
How we work
And how we approach things
How we approach conflict
What our mindsets are
In terms of like
Socialization in the workplace
And how you go about things
Like
Neither of us is wrong
We're just very different
And I think
That's actually been cool too
Because
It's not like It's just It's just learning more about a friend. It's like,
oh, this is who you are in this situation. This is who you are in that situation. And I think
that's been cool. And I think anytime we ever have had a conflict, open communication, we're
so good at it where it's just like, Hey man, that thing actually didn't sit great with me. I'd love
if we could talk about this and try this going forward.'s like oh yeah of course like we're so we're so you know not what's the word cut i just feel like yeah it's
like there's a there's a trust there's a trust there and like yeah you're you're also very good
about you never let something sit like if if something bothered you or you're afraid of you
offended someone you you bring it up immediately.
Like, you're not going to, like, be like, well, we'll see, you know, you know.
Because it occupies my entire think space.
Right, right.
I'm like, I did a thing wrong.
Well, I mean, that's literally, like, how we met.
And I've told that story before.
But, like, it was, like, the second day of work.
And I was walking in and you came out of your dressing room.
You're just like, hey, man, I think I kind of like interrupted you at lunch yesterday when we were all talking.
So I'm really sorry about that.
I was just like, I don't even remember.
But that's me.
No, it's funny.
Like that's it's just such a defining moment.
That is one of the questions here on the list is what was the moment you became lifelong friends so it was probably just after that hanging
out in my dressing room and probably somehow like a character made each other laugh or we both did
probably when we both did like anime voice i think yeah so i think the moment that i i think that i
think of is there was the sketch it was sterling was playing the like super sarcastic kid, right? Yeah. And you were playing this character and you had this like, this like red haired, like
curly, curly, like.
It was like a short and tight, like curly.
Yeah.
Reddish brown afro.
We were just joking about the hair because it looked so silly.
And then you were like, yeah, I'm like one of those Tekken characters.
And then you just started doing the like,
the like back towards camera,
but turning around and then saying like a taunt thing,
but in Japanese.
And I laughed so hard.
It was so funny.
I forgot about that.
Wow.
Cause that's when we started joking about anime and like,
just like the anime,
like inflections and just,
yeah,
it sounded so crazy.
And then,
uh,
I think that's how like the anime
brothers sketch was born right there oh yeah because you started to do it and i was like
that's so funny because that is also like such a specific thing too like it's more common nowadays
like i don't know like i think in the past 10 years i think people have just been like yeah
any kind of nerd culture awesome but for me to like be cast in a tv show meet another actor and
like make a joke about like anime characters and fighting games are totally like this right and for
him to like not only be like oh yeah that makes sense but to like yes and it and be like oh yeah
totally and it's like this too it was like oh my god someone like legit gets me like this was it
was really cool i i i wonder what that show experience would have been like if it wasn't for Yumi and Doug having a lot in common.
Because Yumi and Doug very quickly were like, oh, we all love video games.
I think it took a bit for Doug to sort of join in to Yumi and Matthew Scott, too.
But I think you're right.
Like, we got there.
It was Yumi and Matthew Scott sort of in solidarity as the new people, even though he didn't have as much as common with us in terms of like interest.
But then Doug would join in.
Like we all started playing video games in my room
and it was just fun.
Yeah, it was so great.
Which of these questions do you want to do, my guy?
I wrote this one down.
Like what's the hardest the other has made you laugh?
Like, and just the problem is there's too many jokes.
Too many, man.
Like I said, I brought this up earlier, but one time Damien was playing Bloodborne and I was watching him play and he just started getting so into it.
And like Damien's a very like animated, as you see on his Twitch streams and just in Smosh games, like you talk a lot and you're like very animated when you're playing video games.
And you were just crushing through a level and you're like, oh yeah, baby.
Wombo combo.
Like just taking out this zombie and then you decided to go into an impression of the zombie getting murdered and you're like
Well, I brought it up I was like imagine like the last words that you hear are some dude just like sprinting a go like yeah
Baby wombo combo like because wombo combo was the thing and in smash. It was like a well-known like trending video or whatever
So I was just like Because Wombo Combo was a thing in Smash. It was like a well-known like trending video or whatever.
So I was just like, Wombo.
Like as you're just like sliding in the blade.
It's dark.
Yeah, you never think about how terrifying it must be to be an enemy in a lot of video games. Because like, can you imagine for like a Goomba?
Your last sight is an Italian man just jumping 20 feet in the air and then landing directly directly on your skull
just killing you on your boneless body because typically they just like like just immediately
like they crumble under his weight and i think i think um people don't realize this but this is
nintendo lore mario's bones are hollow like a bird so he doesn't have a lot of uh like mass so the velocity has to be obscene
just squishing right through those boys uh you'll just go on these tangents sometimes like i don't
know it happens it happens so much sometimes we're like we'll be talking about something i'll be like
yeah i went grocery shopping and it was crazy it was so crowded you're like yeah and then it's like
this and this and it's like a squid just rolling through the forest. Just like, I'm just like, what?
Where did you get to that? But I think that's part of why, like, it's almost like a selfish
reason, but that's part of why it's so fun being your friend is because like you find joy in comedy
in small things. Like if someone is going to tell you a story, if someone's going to put an image in
your head, you're really going to put yourself there.
You're going to think about it like you have a vivid imagination for things like that.
So I'm a lunatic and I just sort of stream of consciousness stuff.
When you point out specific things that I say, I don't even remember saying them usually.
But you hear them and you acknowledge them and you'll start laughing about it.
And that gets me in that moment, too.
And then I'll start laughing about it and that gets me in that moment too and then i'll start laughing about it and like i think the moments where we laugh the most are just the ones where we together at the same time
fall into those sort of laughing spells and like keep them growing together it's so good when it
happens it's a plus if you ever got matching best friend tattoos oh what would they be god damn
that's a that's a good. You've mentioned getting a tattoo
of your left leg on your right leg. Yes. To confuse predators. What if I got your right leg
tattooed on my left leg and you got my left leg tattooed on your right leg? And so when we stood
next to each other, you couldn't tell that we're not one.
That's insane, dude.
Because I literally had a sort of a canned answer for this because I wrote the question.
Very similar.
What is what's yours?
My right arm.
I would get the left side of Obama.
Okay.
And then on your left arm, you would also get the left side of Obama.
So when we put our arms together like this, it's like, oh, double left side Obama tattoos.
Symmetrical Obama. You don't put them together.
It's not symmetrical.
It's two amounts of the left side.
So it's just double of the left side of Obama.
So it would be like we got it in a mistake, but like we planned it and that's the joke that and
we're also not political people so people be like you really like obama and you're like i guess some
good policies like you just have to play it off like so you know what in that way we should get
a president that's not even from our time we're like taft yeah just just taft would taft fit
wasn't taft very large you're thinking of Wilford Brimley.
No, I think you're thinking of Grover Cleveland or Taft.
I don't know.
His name reminds me of Taffy.
So maybe Taft is the colossal man.
Oh, Taft is massive.
Oh, yeah.
Taft's not putting on our...
Taft dummy thick with 18 C's.
Welcome back to the Dummy Thick History Podcast.
Who was the most dummy thick president?
Good question, Shane.
I think the most dummy thick president would have to be William Howard Taft.
I think he died in a bathtub.
It means you can just wash him down when he's dead.
You just open up the drain and then down he goes.
Whoever discovered his body was like oh a treat we're gonna be the only people who managed to get canceled for what we said about taft oh i'm sure
the internet can find a way to cancel us for taft i'm sure it'll happen. God damn. People have a lot of time right now.
I just like that.
We were supposed to all write
some questions on this doc.
And one of the questions is
if we were to race down
Dead Man's Bluff
to both save the ski lodge
and see who gets the girl,
what would happen?
Okay, I'm interested
in your answer for this.
If we had to race down
Dead Man's Bluff,
so I'm assuming we're skiing, right?
Or is it during summer?
So it's...
We are skiing, but it is during summer.
Well, that's up to you.
Are we skiing on gravel?
We're skiing on grass or gravel.
Ski!
If it's snow, I think I would win.
If it's gravel,
I think you would have some sort of trick
up your sleeve.
Little does Shane know
that the end of the path dead ends in a
pit of lava. You just have one of those
very classic bombs, like the round
with the fuse. The bowling ball with a string?
Yeah, I do have one of those. You have a long
mustache. Gadzooks and
Botswain. Sade
will never make it to the bottom of Deadman's
Curve.
Lest he be a dead man.
Okay.
Here's what I think would happen.
It's late fall.
We just got the first bit of fresh pow pow for the season.
Because it's very cold.
We start skiing at the same time.
You're bolting down there.
I'm falling behind.
But wait.
What's that to the left?
What did I just pass?
As I'm going down the hill, I noticed an injured animal.
So I turn my skis around, start skiing up the hill to get back to it.
It's a snow turtle.
It's stuck on its back.
Just standing perfectly still, but just going uphill on skis.
Yep, exactly.
Snow turtle.
I flip it back upside down.
It grants me one wish.
I look up to the girl on the mountain.
I said, I just want her to be happy.
Flash forward.
10 years later, she and I are living together.
We have two beautiful children that we've sent to boarding school because we're sick of their shit.
We look outside the window.
You're standing there holding a radio, playing a romantic song.
But it's for me.
And I say, dude, I just want us to be best friends again.
Let's never let a girl become between us again.
And then I leave my wife
so we can become cool roommates again.
And we high five on dead man's curve
where we look up at the same time on top of a mountain,
see a beautiful girl.
And we look back at each other and we go,
here we go again.
And that's the whole end of the movie.
Not again.
Not again.
What's up with girls being attractive i mean this sucks all right so i've got uh in the same vein shane uh in this doc one of my favorite questions is
where is the amulet damien i'm never going to tell you where the amulet is ah damn it i thought
that would work no just because it's on a podcast
doesn't mean I have to answer it.
Well, that's not true.
I don't know if anyone's ever fully read
the Patriot Act because it's quite a mess.
But if you are on the podcast,
you do have to tell the truth,
especially when revealing the location
of all powerful ancient relics from Sumeria.
No, I will never give you the amulet.
I don't care about the fact that you have my research assistant held hostage.
Geraldine will be one with the scarab soon.
Ha ha!
I don't even care.
Geraldine sucked.
I have a new assistant.
I've called your bluff and eaten Geraldine.
No!
Damn you!
There's still time before the tummy juices kick in.
Just stuck in there.
I've swallowed her whole.
I'm extremely uncomfortable with my distended tummy.
I'm dragging it along the ground with a human shape she's pissed
realistically both Geraldine and I only have a few minutes left you getting into
a car having to swing your stomach into the past I'm trying to get in like no
you have to sit forward so I can get through damn it
Geraldine listen to the sound of my voice.
You go to a McDonald's and be like, all right, can I get a, all right, what do you want?
No, you're not going to eat a large fries.
You can get a kid's meal or nothing.
Nuggets, nuggets, a burger, Geraldine.
All right.
Jesus Christ.
There was a good, there's a question that i'm sure people listening will
want to hear is what are our favorite characters that the other does like what's what's my favorite
character that you do what's your favorite character that i do because i think i know
and i it's it actually is a recent well it's not super recent but i had a favorite and then that
favorite got beaten out for you shane the the difficult
thing about this man is that like you have this awesome ability to even in scenes where you have
to be like the normal guy the regular dude or whatever you're good at finding character within
that so you're never just going to answer like yes or no even if you have one line in the scene
you can tell that it's like a fleshed out character so that's the hard thing because like everything you do is a
character so it's literally like what's your favorite thing that shane has ever done and
that's hard like i can go to so random days and say fly guy i can also you know say mr goodman
from the so random days and from smosh literally everything dude, dude. I don't know. Like someone like Bryce Cricin or whatever,
I'm sure just had like one, you know,
appearance in a sketch at one point,
but like we gravitate toward these things
and we're like, we got to make this a thing.
Love Harbinger.
Love that you just had this wacky idea
and you like, we're like, yeah,
what if I'm like this crazy old man?
Like, you know, it was like, careful, don't go in there.
And then you made a whole character based on that.
Like you impressed the hell out of me with that stuff. So maybe I'll remember something as we go. Oh, and yeah, it was like, careful, don't go in there. And then you made a whole character based on that. Like you impressed the hell out of me with that stuff.
So maybe I'll remember something as we go.
Oh, and yeah, for those listening, I just realized this.
He doesn't necessarily have a name, but the dumpster wizard,
we often refer to as the Harbinger.
Oh, did I just reveal some big Smosh lore there?
No, no, it's fine.
We refer to him as the Harbinger because like in movies and stuff,
the old man who's
like, ah, best be careful about that.
Uh, is that's what it's called.
But I figured I was like, that's not like a catchy name, but I, I don't care.
People can call him whatever dumpster wizard Harbinger, the garbage.
The garbage.
Um, see for me, it's about whatever, like any character you have, you'll just go into
those.
What I can't do that you do is you go into those phases where any character you have you'll just go into those what i can't do
that you do is you go into those phases where you're just you're just spouting off so many jokes
that it's like it's lightning speed and the first time i ever saw it was mr mcnamara in
so random but this was during a rehearsal where you had a chalkboard behind you and the whole
point is you're teaching a scene or you're teaching a class we're making fun of you for your irish accent um but during the rehearsal you just started writing stuff on
the chalkboard that this was not specified you didn't have to write necessarily much down there
was a couple things but you just started going and like at one point you drew a circle and next
to it it just said babby or a zero or egg zero or egg and then you just the whole chalkboard
was filled by the end of this one take of a rehearsal and i was dying at every scene because
you were just nonsensically going and it was all insane shit um and then obviously back then
unbeknownst that it would become a show later at lunch i would like take swigs of water and
damien would try to make me spit it out with laughter and he would always resort to randall
and i just thought that character was is that these guys like women huh like that's that's
that dude the first time because you said like ah i thought like my grandma my grandma slept in the
fridge but it turns out everybody yeah it was something to that
effect where it's like you ever lose your grandma and then you find her in your fridge but turns
out she's made of ham like that kind of what are you talking about yeah i'm a lunatic and so randall
held the spot for a long time but i gotta i gotta say i think augustus is like you like augustus
dude the it's why it's a vr chat episode in smosh games is my favorite smosh games video of
all time because it's you as that character just going off for like an hour i mean thanks man and
people got fascinated by it people who didn't know that you were on smosh games people who didn't
know like you were doing this for a video they just thought they met some random person in vr
and you had like a group of like seven people just following you around listening
to what you were saying because it was so nice.
That's really nice. Dude, thank you.
Holy crap. Should I stream
VR chat? Should I get a headset and do that?
You could totally do that, man.
Hell yeah. That'd be so funny. If you did a gust
if you did an Augustus stream
that would be incredible.
That's a good idea. I've only done that for
Goose Game. That's the voice I did when I played Goose Game.
Yeah.
Yeah, but thank you, man.
That's really nice.
VR chat was hella fun.
For those of you that don't know the episode,
it's called Damien Nosed Away.
It's when, like, the Knuckles thing was, like,
doing it all the way.
The character that I chose for VR was Midna
from Twilight Princess,
and I did my Augustus voice.
You know, Shane and I have written an Augustus sketch
for Smosh before, and it hasn't quiteus voice. You know, Shane and I have written an Augustus sketch for Smosh before
and it hasn't quite seen the light of day,
but maybe this character will find his placement
at some point.
I don't know.
Yeah, yeah.
We wrote a sketch where Damien as Augustus
would be Ian's dating coach.
Yes.
I'm skeptical it will ever make it to the air.
It won't.
Oh, don't worry. It won't. Oh, don't worry.
It won't.
It won't, but that's okay.
It's been hanging out for about a little over a year now.
Maybe, yeah.
But who knows?
That's okay.
You know, sometimes things don't quite make the cut, and that's okay.
One day, Augustus will see the light of day, and then you will know my name.
Exactly.
Okay, we're getting close here to the end.
So I guess it's time to switch it over to a shoot dude.
Really?
Already?
I think so, man.
Okay.
God, we're having so much fun.
Well, okay.
One last thing though, because he says wrap up the friendship convo.
Okay.
So can I ask one more question?
Because I think this would be cool.
Do it, man.
There's no rules.
No rules? Just Roy. There's no rules. No rules?
Just Roy.
There's never rules.
Epic Steighaffs.
What if we just kept talking and they just can't end the pod?
What if we call this Kevin's difficult day?
24 hour pod.
24 hour podcast.
Our writer had asked some good questions here and I think it's a good note to end on.
Shane, how has Damien grown?
Shane or Damien, how has Shane grown?
I think you've gotten,
you've definitely gotten more confident in yourself
over the years.
And like, yeah, I don't know.
You just, you've taken on so many things now.
Cause there was a long time.
I remember, I remember, you know,
I wasn't the one who necessarily got you into it,
but I remember forever ago being like,
dude, you should do Twitch.
And you're like, I don't know.
And now like here you are kicking ass there.
And like VO, like I've watched you take on so now like here you are kicking ass there. Oh, thanks, man.
And like VO, like I've watched you take on so many endeavors.
You've always been a hard worker, but now like you really do take on a lot of things and you get things done.
Thank you, man.
And that's cool to see.
Thank you.
That means a lot.
Yeah.
Well, also somehow maintaining our insane like brains and comedy, still managing to
like become an adult, you know?
Thank you, man. That means a hell of a lot. I'm very proud of you for finding your focus.
I think you are such a multi-talented individual that like you were blessed with too many options
because of how many things you would be good at. I think it's been very impressive to see you focus
that drive on like one or two things
and really excel in them which you have i also feel like you're no longer afraid to like take
up space i would never think that you're an unconfident person but putting others before
yourself is not a bad thing but sometimes you have to take up space yourself and be okay with that
and know that you're worth being able to do that. And I think you are now. You're more
comfortable speaking your mind. You've always been a kind person and that's not changed. But
now you're able to like, I don't know, just talk about things when they bug you and before they
build up and own things professionally and like, you know, be like, no, this is my space. And I
feel like this will be a good idea. I don't know. Like, I just, I'm proud of you in general. I feel
like you've really come into your own and you're someone who was so heavily
influenced by like your brothers who are older than you and all that stuff. I don't feel like
you're chasing anybody anymore. I feel like you are comfortable being Shane and being successful
in your own way. Thanks, man. Yeah. Hey, thanks. No worries, my dude. But definitely, you've
definitely been my like biggest cheerleader over the years.
Every convo I feel like I have with you outside of work or outside off camera is me being like,
yeah, I don't know about this thing.
And you're going, dude, you should totally do that.
You can do anything.
Totally do that.
Like, yeah, it's definitely.
Because you can, Shane.
You can do anything.
If you were like, I don't know, I want to make a video of two minutes of just me
looking at the camera and going, no, no would get six million views no you're a very
supporting person and i think it's i think it lends to why your uh twitch stream has done so
well is because i think i think you give people uh you give people confidence and you give people
hope uh that means a lot you believe you believe in people and it's it's very rare nowadays. I feel like most people nowadays kind of are very pessimistic about everyone.
And so it's very refreshing.
Thanks, dude.
Well, hell yeah.
Hell yeah.
Best friends.
Best friends.
Locked in.
No take backsies.
William Howard Taft tattoos unite.
Unite.
He will be riding a skateboard and say,
uh,
uh,
scub way,
eat fresh scub way.
Yeah.
And I don't know what scub means.
I think I made it up.
If it's a weird word,
then ignore me.
All right.
Great.
Let's do that.
Shoot,
dude.
All right,
guys,
let's,
we're going to swing it over to our shoot.
Dude.
Shoot,
dude.
Shoot,
dude.
Shoot,
dude.
Shoot,
dude.
Shoot,
dude.
Shoot, dude. Shoot, dude. Shoot, shoot, shoot, dude. Shoot dude. Shoot dude. Shoot dude. Shoot dude.
Shoot dude.
Shoot dude.
Shoot dude.
All right, this shoot dude comes from Jordan.
All right.
Jordan says...
I'm going to be skeptical.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, Jordan, you better have something good because you got two skeptics.
And make it quick, Shane, because I really got to take a big old crap.
Great.
Jordan says, about two years ago, I worked as a shift manager for McDonald's in my town.
This specific store was actually located inside of a Walmart.
And being that it's my hometown, I saw a lot of people that I knew.
One night, this girl, who I went to school with, and her boyfriend come to the counter.
While I do know this girl, I'm better friends with her best friend who lived out of state since i know this girl i try to make small talk with her to understand why
i said what i said you have to know two things this is in all caps oh now it's now it's no longer
in all caps one her best friend let's call her mary was pregnant at the time two Two, the girl I'm talking to, let's call her Ashley, is a very petite girl. I'm
talking like toothpick size, but she seems to have a little bit of a belly starting.
Jordan, I don't, oh man. I don't know what more you can say to make me be on your side
through this, but go on. Okay. So his friend Mary is pregnant, but lives out of state. This girl is very petite,
but looks like she has a little bit
of a belly starting.
Great.
So what my dumb ass decides to say is,
hey, did you and Mary decide
to get pregnant at the same time
so your kids could be best friends too?
Because that's adorable.
This next part,
this next sentence is in all caps.
I'm sure you can assume
what her answer was.
After apologizing profusely for the next 60 seconds, I take their order.
Nuggets and a small fry.
But I still feel bad.
So as a manager, I bump them up to a large fry as a way of saying sorry.
On the way out, one of my co-workers heard Ashley say,
he called me fat and then gave me a large fry.
Yep.
Shoot, dude. Shoot, dude then gave me a large fry. Yep. Shoot, dude.
Shoot, dude.
Here's a little tip.
Doesn't matter how close or not close you are with a person.
Maybe just don't comment on a woman's body ever.
Maybe just don't.
Like, I know it was the first joke that came to your mind, but just like, don't.
Just don't.
That's, oh, that is a nightmare that's a that's awful that's such a
shoot dude oh god i can't believe i've i've had i literally i've seen like i'll like say hi to a
friend that i haven't seen in a long time and they're very clearly pregnant but i still don't
say anything no in case that they got very strangely like gained weight.
Yeah.
Just all the weight
formed in a perfect sphere.
Yeah, they're like,
I'm suffering from malnutrition
and therefore my belly is swollen
and that's why I look like that.
It's like,
no, no,
like just don't.
Just that's a major shoot, dude.
Just don't.
Just don't do it.
Oh, God.
It's also like it's not,
just don't comment on
people's bodies in general.
Yeah.
Unless you're at the gym and it's another bro and you're like, hey, looking gains.
Like even that's weird.
But like, even if people mean it nicely, like, hey, you're looking tired.
You getting enough rest?
Like it's, nobody wants to hear it.
It's not fun for someone.
I saw a tweet that I actually really live by.
And it was like, hey guys, and probably this is for anyone, but it was like only compliment people on stuff that they made a decision to like be a part of their ensemble that day.
Yep.
Right.
Like, like, and only use like just like positive adjectives like, hey, cool hat.
Oh, nice shoes.
Like stuff like that.
And I complimenting people's shoes is my go-to
because i love like i'm obsessed with shoes i think shoes are dope and so when people have
cool shoes i always point it out i'm like dude nice shoes yeah women's shoes men's shoes i don't
care doesn't matter yeah cool shoes i let them know that's nice as part yeah absolutely let it
be a choice like whatever their choice was that they made you can say good choice everything else yeah i hurt i heard that that one's real that one's real i think it's probably real that's for
sure real it's the setting is very believable oh man oh yeah and adding the large fry i see where
you were coming from but oh boy yeah you're just like oh sorry fatty do you want a big old big old
fry like it's just it's the worst thing.
Like, you definitely added insult to injury.
So.
Oh, God.
Brutal.
Oh, all right.
Or Norbrew.
Hey, guys, you can send your shoot dudes to shootdudeatsmosh.com.
It is shootdudeatsmosh.com.
Yes, that is true.
With two O's in the dude.
And y'all, we do this
SmoshCast every week.
We are available on Wednesdays
wherever podcasts are found.
If you like what you saw
or listened to, please rate us
five stars. It really helps us out.
And we would greatly appreciate it
because we love doing this and want to keep doing it.
If you want to see a video version, that
comes up on our SmoshCast YouTube channel on on fridays otherwise uh yeah we'll catch you next
time y'all yeah guys just have a hey have a good ass week if i could make a wish for you anybody
in this world i hope you get yourself a friend as good as shane so oh shit bye my friends you guys
get a good friend as damien thanks man let us know uh let
us know what tattoos matching tattoos damien i should get that's true have a wonderful week
y'all and we'll see you next time goodbye bye