Smosh Mouth - S2: #70 - We Have a Debate About Literally Everything

Episode Date: July 8, 2020

Ian, Courtney, and Shayne are here to have a debate about literally everything, from whether Hot Cheetos are food, to questioning the importance of books and reading. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Ramble. It still felt really good to see everybody. We filmed on my birthday and I was like, yeah, I was working on my birthday, but it was so nice to see everyone. And at least like be social and be near people. Rollerblading is to the X Games what Nickelback is to rock. It's just a gross impersonation that is nothing more than just a tragedy to experience. Courtney, dumb.

Ian smart. Courtney dumb. Birds. Ah! Oh my God. Ah! It's fucking scary. What does a fish do?

Blip, blip, blip, blip, blip, blip, blip, blip, blip, blip, blip, fish do? I yield my time. Well, hello everybody and welcome to a Smoshcast. A Smoshcast. Guys, I think it's been like four weeks since I've been on a Smoshcast. Yeah, where'd you go? I haven't been on it in a long time. I've just been, just mainly just been mainlining crack

this whole time. What's mainlining? Is that what you do with crack? I feel like that's a drug word. Is that an action? A drug adverb? I don't know. My crack experience is not very high. It is. It means to inject something. Oh, ooh, I wouldn't do that. I don't think

that works. Yeah, I think you are incorrectly doing crack. You know, I think I'm gonna not do crack. Yeah. If it involves, yeah. Hey guys, what if we all just like didn't do crack? Wouldn't that be nuts? You guys, I think my eyes are dying. You think your eyes are dying? Yeah, I've been getting some like-

Do you have macular degeneration? I believe so so my 23 and me said my eyes are going to be getting worse and worse and worse until i die but i've been getting really bad headaches behind my left eye like so bad and like getting more and more often i think it's because like i but well my left eye is the one with the the tear in the pupil my coloboma that's my bad eye my coloboma coloboma my right eye actually has astigmatism but that's my left eye is the one with the the tear in the pupil my coloboma that's my bad eye my coloboma my right eye actually has astigmatism but that's my bad eye i haven't been wearing my glasses obviously and i don't wear contacts also my glasses are like a few years old now so like

my prescription's old so i i'm gonna be going to an eye doctor but do you remember the character from lost there was like an episode episode where the headaches was crazy. Everyone was like, oh God, he's dying. And then they found out that he just needed glasses. Really? That was the storyline in Lost was that he just needed glasses? For one episode, yeah. It was the best storyline.

It was the best episode of the whole series. And they even had to break up a couple pairs of glasses and fuse two different sides together to like help his eyes. And like that was- I don't remember this episode. It was the badass character, like the sexy character.

They were all sexy. They were all sexy. You had like Sawyer who was the like prototypical like soap opera male lead. He just didn't make any sense in that show. He just looked too pretty. Sawyer, he was just like, he had stubble and brown hair, right? He had the long, honestly, I kind of have Sawyer haircut.

Yeah, you do. Okay, so it is the same character. Yeah, that guy needed glasses. Oh, it was him? Mm-hmm. So I was like, oh, Tufka. That guy needed glasses. Oh, it was him? Mm-hmm. So I was like, oh, tough guy needs glasses. So cute. Oh, no.

Well, that's why I don't wear glasses anymore. Now you're a nerd. That was his character arc. You've stopped? You're a nerd. No, I just don't use it for podcasts because I could see you guys so closely. Oh, nice.

Well, that's cool. So your eyes are dying. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it sounds like and you know being the medical professional that i am isn't that migraine is that a migraine like do you are you have sensitivity to light not really not really sensitivity to light because like i'll be i'll be in the sun tanning we'll have a migraine or whatever like a bad headache and lay down and be tanning with my eyes closed and it'll be like going away do you get nauseous no it's just really bad back of the

left eye you should probably yeah you should probably change your prescription because i i'm going because i was getting like eye strain when whenever i'd be playing video games for like a long time yeah and it's how often we're on our phones. Do you get the pain looking at things up close or far away? Close, but I do have bad vision where I can't read things far away. So it's like, I definitely have noticeably bad vision. Well, just for the people that are tuning in that didn't read the title,

I just wanna say we will be doing a very hardcore debate very soon. I just wanted to let them know that we're not just gonna be rambling. There is a debate coming up soon. Yeah, we're very excited. Did you want to talk at all about our social distance shoot? Yeah, sure.

Yeah. So we were all very excited to get back into a sort of a regular shoot. We also want to keep people alive and as safe as possible. So we kind of devised this way of doing studio shoots again where we're distanced from each other. Everyone's wearing masks. Wearing masks, taking tests beforehand, quarantining. So everybody on set has been quarantining

or taking the tests. We had planned on going back to the studio a week earlier, but you guys did your part, taking part in the protest. Thank you very much. Yeah. It cost us a couple of weeks of production, but. Yeah, but.

For the cause. It's like, look, we can't be angry at you guys for supporting this obviously very important cause. But obviously like this is something we're taking very seriously. Like, you know, with the COVID of it all. And yeah, it all went very well. It was nice seeing your dumb faces again in person.

I feel like we just had so much dumb improv because it's been so long since we were able to like- And everyone's crazy from quarantine. Yeah, because it's been so long since we were able to like- And everyone's crazy from quarantine. Yeah. Like it had been so long since any of us have like played against each other. Yes. So I feel like our improv just got super weird a lot because we just wanted to- Mm-hmm.

I feel like we just wanted to talk to each other. Yeah. I feel like my acting is different. You know? The last few months have changed me where I feel like- You've just been Tom Hanks talking to a ball. Except for the ball is my phone. Just talking to my phone. Nobody's FaceTiming with me. You've just been Tom Hanks talking to a ball. Except for the ball is my phone. Just talking to my phone.

Nobody's FaceTiming with me. It's just my only friend. The one, Every Panda Express that we shot, they're editing the cut right now. It's so funny. Everyone's just loopy. It's so funny. Yeah.

It's great. What about you, Shane? How did you like the studio shoot? Did you miss us? It was interesting because it felt, Damien summed it up pretty well. He's like, it's when you end up at school during summer break and you're like,

wait, I feel, this feels weird. Like it feels like you never left, but it also feels like it's been five years. Like it feels like I'm coming up on the studio and look, I'm playing Last of Us right now, and I can't help but compare it. There's a lot of weeds growing around the studio now. Yeah.

And I'm opening the door to the studio just expecting some monster to come out at me. And it's just Tim with a beard. And it's just Tim with a beard. And you just stab him in the neck with the shiv. Guys, I don't know if you guys have seen this for those listening, but Tim doesn't wear a mask like most people.

He wears like a gas mask. Full on. Like the hardcore, he looks like a character in Last of Us who's about to just take out some fools. Yeah. But he looks like a badass because he's wearing a vest and a painter's mask. Yeah.

He looks like a fallout character. It's also funny because he's slating all of our shoots. Yes. He's the person that goes like, scene 11, take two. But because the mask muffles everything he says,

like a lot, it's like, it's awesome. Yeah, it's awesome. It's very great. It was really good to see, like, even if it was like

a skeleton crew, which means like the minimum possible amount of people's very great it was really good to see like even if it was like a skeleton crew which means like the minimum possible amount of people needed it still felt really good to see everybody like we filmed on my birthday and i was like yeah i was working on my birthday but it was so nice to see everyone and at least like be social and be near people and we're doing a we're doing a social distance uh pit shoot soon too unscripted so that'd be cool we're trying to get back to it yeah we'll be a little we might be a little bit closer to each other but we're still gonna be as safe as we possibly can yeah quarantine masks until we're like literally rolling yeah and obviously like

we can't be spitting water everywhere so i think we're bringing back the slide whistle for try not to laugh but shall we get into the topic at hand? Let's get into it. All right. So this is going to be a very, very serious debate show. We've picked out some topics for you guys, and it will be a 1v1 debate with one person being moderator. They will each get one minute to state their side. The other person each get one minute to state their side.

The other person will get one minute to state their side. And then the person will be given a one minute, each person will be given a one minute rebuttal, chance to take down their opponent's viewpoints and win. The moderator will then decide who won the debate. And if the moderator can't decide, we're going to bring in our wonderful our wonderful kevin from heaven producer producer kevin from heaven i was gonna say he died a week

ago but that's just kevin is alive but we call him kevin from heaven because he's he's an angel i don't think you've ever called me that before, ever. It's literally my first time saying that ever in my life. Well, it's your nickname now. All right, thank you. Great. Kevin, Kevin. So Kevin will be the ultimate decider if the moderator is failing to come to a consensus. Shall we get onto it?

I'm ready to fight. All right. Well, too bad because the first debate is Shane versus myself.ney would you would you like to begin absolutely i'm gonna get my timer ready to go first topic is reading still cool versus reading not cool shane advocating for reading is still cool ian advocating for reading is not cool who shall begin we go straight i'll let ian start oh ian's going to begin? No, you choose, Courtney. Shane, since your name is first on the Google Doc, I'm going to have you begin. And your minute starts now.

Reading is incredibly cool. What is more cool than gaining knowledge? For instance, I'm reading a book right now called Stand From the Beginning. It's about the history and prevalence of racism in our country and its impact and how it bleeds into every action that we do every day and how it's part of our system and structure and how we need to take that down. I would love my opponent to tell me that reading that book is a bad idea, that reading that book is not good. Reading, it's how we pass knowledge from one to the other. And by saying reading is not cool is the desire to suppress knowledge and to suppress education. There is nothing better than it. It is simply, it is what connects us all. To not think reading is cool is probably the most offensive thing

on the planet. I could think it's everything. To not think reading is cool is sexist, racist, bigger than every aspect. So good luck to my opponent. Oh my God. Okay, Ian, your minute starts now. A book is outdated technology. Do you see people riding around on a penny-farthing bicycle?

No, they figured out better ways to make a bicycle, okay? It's outdated. Yeah, sure. It was the hottest, coolest thing a thousand years ago, but we found better ways of communicating. We've found better ways of sharing ideas, sharing thoughts, sharing experiences. You can't, you can't get the whole feeling of something out of just text. You, you miss out of just text. You miss some of the nuance. If you wanna talk about something that teaches you racism,

there's plenty of movies that do that, right? There's plenty of documentaries. The 13th being a good one. When They See Us is a very popular one as well. Both those by Ava DuVernay or however you pronounce her name if I actually never heard her name being said. Books, old, movies, television, good. Fuck you, Shane. Oh my God.

Okay. So we're going to have our rebuttals. Both are valid, I guess. You know, one is saying that one is educational. One is saying there's more modern and easier access ways to find such education. Shane, are you ready for your rebuttal? Sure. All right. It starts now. If we're talking about convenience and advancement, nothing has advanced past books because

say, for instance, the big one hits here in LA. Uh-oh, electricity's out. You have lost all media except for, uh-oh, you have a book. And that, nothing can stop that. Except water, perhaps. But you avoid water, you're going to be fine. Whereas electricity can short circuit at any moment. You can lose power. You don't have a backup.

You're done. Knowledge is gone then. Whereas a book, all you need is your eyes. You need good eyes like me, unlike Courtney. Hey. 25 seconds left. All right. Oh, I, unlike Courtney. Hey. 25 seconds left. All right. Oh, I still got plenty of time.

That's awesome. We're also talking about volume here, right? You've got plenty of great documentaries. I don't disagree that documentaries are also cool, but we're talking about reading here. But you're talking about volume. A documentary is roughly two to three hours. A book can compress tens of hours of knowledge

that you're not going to sit there and watch a movie for 24 hours, but you can read a book piecemeal by piecemeal every day and keep getting more knowledge. Time's up. You can come back so much. Time's up, sir.

Excuse me. Time's up, sorry. Ian, are you ready for your rebuttal? Yeah, sure. Okay, begin. Okay. Well, this whole idea of getting knowledge

during a certain amount of time goes against your feelings, Shane, because when I get a book, it takes me months to finish, okay? And with a documentary, they can compress those ideas down into something that I could enjoy and take what I need from it within a matter of two

hours. I can't read a book in two hours. I can learn about 500 things before I learn one thing from a book because I just cannot. I get three pages in and I'm just like, no. And also, have you ever heard of the Library of Alexandria alexandria guess what those were books and they burned and we lost that information so the same could happen to books yeah that's right they're combustible guess what isn't combustible a movie on a server that exists all around the world bitch oh i yield my time goodness fuck you you. You had one second to yield. Wow. All right.

Excellent arguments from both sides. I think it's very valid that both of you guys said with which resource is easier to lose and with how much time you can gain information. Personally, I think I'm surprised. I think Ian's argument is very valid that there's other forms of media. There's other ways to find education and quicker ways to learn it and it's more portable and less flammable. So Kevin, would you agree or disagree? It's less flammable unless you're talking

about the old celluloid movies. Those are very flammable. You yielded your time, sir. Kevin? I actually do agree. Ian made a really good point at the end where it was about condensing of time for information. Shane had valid points,

but you gotta get the information quick. It's 2020, not 1820. Yeah, in the age of information, you gotta get it quick, you know what I'm saying? You heard it from Smosh, guys. Reading is bad, don't do it. Reading is good. Just on other devices or reading subtitles on a movie.

Just support Jeff Bezos and get that Kindle guys. Get that Kindle. But if you're going to read, if you're going to have like books on your book shelf, bookcase, whatever you call it, just read them. It's not cool to just have books you haven't read.

I love reading books with a paper, with paper in my hand i love turning the pages i like that it's this little thing like it's it feels more meaningful to carry a book around with me than my phone you know so i do fully i understand both sides i think i was honestly the perfect mediator for this that's next point one point one for ian point one i think i'm gonna quit now you get one piece of sour skinny. I'm gonna retire from debate. This next debate pits Courtney versus Shane. Well, I'm off to a hot start.

The topic is blades versus skateboard. Rollerblades, that is. Who's gonna be taking what side? I'm rollerblades. Skateboard. Courtney is defending rollerblades. Shane is defending skateboarding. Since Shane began last time, I'm going to have Courtney begin.

All right. And you may start now. As someone who purchased rollerblades during quarantine and has been rollerblading around my neighborhood as a form of exercise, I can say that rollerblading is very convenient not only for fun, but also for transportation. When you're riding rollerblades, it's your two feet separated. You can go whatever speed you want. You don't need to worry about grinding or ollieing to get to point A to point B.

And you can have your shoes tied on your shoulder for when you want to go into a store you just take them off and get in people don't look at rollerblades and see that kid's a rebel he's not supposed to be skating around here karen's aren't gonna get mad at someone with rollerblades and you they're more graceful and as you've seen on tiktok the rollerblade ancestor roller skates are having a comeback people enjoy walking around and feeling like they're floating. And sometimes they put cool music to it. Skateboarding's old news.

They've already been doing that, but it's not as cool because that skateboard, skateboards are, they smell bad. And her rollerblades. That's time. Shane, are you ready?

I, yes, I think I'm ready. I have no idea what her argument was I don't know were you just filling time at the end no I'm trying Shane you may start now yes

well see you're not allowed to bring rollers skating into this rollerblading is the mac and me to ET it is you're talking about rollerblading is like the rollerblading is to the X Games what Nickelback is to Rock. It's just a gross impersonation

that is nothing more than just a tragedy to experience. And I'll give you two words, Tony Hawk. Name a famous rollerblader. And it's not Tony Hawk. It is not Tony Hawk at all. Rollerblading existed for like five years in the 90s. And then we were all like, yeah, we're done with that. I swear.

Friggin, what's it called? Tamagotchis are remembered with more fonder memories than rollerblading. Rollerblading is just, it's the device used to establish bad guys in 90s high school movies. It's like, they're the bad guys. They rollerblade because they suck. And that's done. Well, that was quick.

Strong arguments on both sides. Courtney, are you ready for your rebuttal? Yes. Courtney Miller, you may begin now. At a skate park, there's no discriminating over which which type of athletes are on the skate park everyone has a chance to roll around in the skate park like at Venice Beach you see so many people rollerblading around on those on the walk why are you laughing at me Jane also skateboards are very well known to have not very smooth wheels

and when you're rolling over bumps and stuff your feet feel like they're getting tickled and it's like it doesn't feel nice when you're skateboarding on the street. Rollerblades have gel wheels and they're much smoother for a much smoother ride and they're part of your feet. Okay? They are safer

because on rollerblades you're not as apt to be uh grinding and doing crazy tricks and getting yourself hurt rollerblades it's usually you're just running but it's faster because you're gliding skateboarders are just are always causing trouble there's always signs that say no skateboarding not as many signs that people say no rollerblading because rollerblading isn't as much of a problem. They're not as destructive. And that's your time. Wow. Wow. Strong, strong rebuttal. Thank you. Courtney Miller. Thank you. Shane Topp, are you ready for your rebuttal? Sure. You may begin. Oh yeah.

Rollerblading is so much easier on your feet. Why don't you argue for training wheels and bumpers in the bowling alley as well? Okay. No, it's about being cool. It's about challenging yourself. And skateboarding is so much more challenging. There's way more tricks you can do. You tried to accuse skateboarders of being bad people at one point there. Well, I noticed there was a famous video from a couple of weeks ago

where a ton of skateboarders all formed and went to a protest for Black Lives Matter. So if you're saying those people are bad people, well, hello, Donald Trump. Once again, I think I could have come out here and just said Tony Hawk. That's all I had to say is Tony Hawk. Guys, Tony Hawk.

All right. And also Tony Hawk Pro Skater, best video game. Come on. Name a good rollerblading video game. I yield my time. I end your time. Fuck you. Okay.

Well, Shane, may I remind you, this wasn't an argument of is skateboarding or rollerblading cool. It was an argument of blades versus skates. Skateboards, that is. You know, I just want to point out one of the first points that Courtney made, which confused me quite a lot. She said, you can ride to a store and then on rollerblades and take them off and walk in.

What are you walking on? Your bare feet? I told you, tying my shoes. Your sock feet? Did you hear what I told you tying my shoes. Your sock feet? Did you hear what I, you didn't listen to my whole argument because I said have your shoes with you. You carry shoes with you?

You see those cool people with their shoelaces tied together and they're slung over their shoulder and then when they take the blades off, they put those shoes on and then they tie the little blades down over their shoulder. Well, then you need to go outside more

or watch more movies. What movie are you referring to? Xanadu and Xanadu only. That's the 80s. That's the skate, roller skates. Same vehicle. No. No.

I don't care. The arguments are done, Ian. You're comparing a Kia to a Lamborghini. You're right. The debate's over. This one's a little tough for me. I'm going to have to throw it to Kevin from Heaven. What do you think, Kevin from Heaven? That was also

hard. I mean, I'm an avid roller skater, but I also skateboard too. So Shane did definitely argue that there was a lot of cool things about skateboarding and how rollerblading is not cool. Courtney, I felt like you had some alright arguments, but I felt like

a lot of them fell flat like as an avid roller skater taking your shoes off to go into like a 7-eleven the worst thing ever I just walk in with my skates and get yelled at and kicked out so I will have to say Shane uh you did you won me over especially when you talked about Tony Hawk but also I'm upset at you you forgot the game uh Jet Set Radio was an awesome rollerblading game. Jet Set Radio was sick. So Tony Hawk and the skateboarders showing up during BLM. You did not see rollerbladers going to the BLM protests.

No, because they're too busy trying to tie their shoes together. Fuck off. I give this one to Shane. Nice. You deserve it. I've been skateboarding my whole life. You can't. Shane, would you like to take this next one?

Hello and welcome to the National Bates. You're watching C-SPAN. I'm your moderator, Kevin Gerkes. We have our debaters here. We have Ian Hecox presenting that Friends was a bad show versus Courtney Miller saying that Friends is a good show. And now we should say that the way this is presented is saying that it is currently a good show, that it holds up as well. So, Ian, would you like to begin? When I go on a dating app and somebody lists Friends as their best show, I know immediately that I'm immediately suspicious of their taste because there's much better things out there on TV than Friends. So I would have to assume then that that person is just an idiot. Friends must just appeal to the lowest common denominator.

And really, like, okay, even without that said, it has a laugh track. Any show with a laugh track, any time that you're being told when to laugh is just not great. Does Friends have a laugh track? It has a laugh track, right? I think it's got a laugh track. Yeah. Fashion choices in the show, they do not hold up.

They don't hold up anymore. I'm sorry. And that is time. Okay. Courtney Miller, it is your turn. We are not arguing that Friends is the best show. We're arguing whether it's good or not. And I will say that it is your turn. We are not arguing that Friends is the best show. We're arguing whether it's good or not.

And I will say that it is good for several reasons. It was ahead of its time, and we're saying whether it would have held up. It doesn't necessarily hold up in a lot of ways, but it did normalize some unconventional things as lesbian couples, trans parents. And they did make fun of them in certain light, but at least it was normalizing their existence, as well as the characters had a lot of progression in like women becoming powerful people in business. Like Rachel began as a runaway bride who was then a waitress at a cafe. Then she became an executive at a fashion company.

Monica becoming an owner of a catering company. Powerful women owning a large apartment, taking care of themselves, owning the apartment where everyone came and it normalizes living in New York. And it's a cool thing to see New York from the just common people who are all very different from each other. And yes, there's people like Ross

who are problematic and annoying, but every cast needs that annoying, problematic character to bounce off of. And that is time. All right, it is time for your 30 second rebuttals. 30 seconds? Oh, it is a one minute rebuttal. All right, Ian, your one minute rebuttal begins now.

Funny that you had mentioned diversity. Could you tell me what makes the cast so diverse, Courtney? Because I mean, what is it? Joey comes from an Italian descent. Is that the diversity you're talking about? Because I mean, what is it? Joey comes from an Italian descent. Is that the diversity you're talking about? It's not diverse at all. And you would not see a cast like that in a new sort of show.

They've progressed beyond that. And also showing women in power. Like we didn't learn anything about their jobs. They just said, oh, she works at this thing. And we're all like, cool. We don't see her actually crushing it at her job. We just see them hanging out in their house or in the coffee shop.

We never see them doing their jobs. We never see them owning the workplace. No, don't shake your head at me. No, this is what I know from the eight episodes that I've seen. It's always just, they're always just in their apartment. And that is time. Courtney, your rebuttal begins now.

There is a lack of racial diversity in the main cast, but so do so many TV shows today still. So that's something that clearly the world is still working on. And the diversity that I did explain was like sexual orientation, as well as, you know, being trans. Is that Chandler's mom or dad? And it is not true.

They are always being shown at work. Rachel is shown having to fire people, deal with problematic assistants, attractive assistants. Very real issues that people deal with all the time in business. You always see Chandler at work. He works his way up in business and he's also an executive. They're not always in their apartment. Even when they're in their apartment, they're still killing it running. Monica is being a very

organized, powerful person taking care of her friends. Yes, there's still shows that are even more problematic than this one. I yield my time. Fuck you. All right. This is certainly an interesting one.

Unfortunately, Ian, although I do personally think Friends is a just piece of shit, you presented no reasons. You simply just kept calling it a bad show and said that anyone who likes it is also dumb. You insulted its laugh track, even though multicam sitcoms, that's kind of the thing. It doesn't have to be. What multicam sitcom doesn't have a laugh track? Why does it? That's no excuse. Courtney actually presented some arguments,

whereas you did not. Despite my self-thinking friends, is just a steaming pile. I give this a point to Courtney. I understand. Like I said, I don't know how many episodes I've seen, but they always just seem to be in their apartment.

And I'm like, where do they make all that money? I don't ever see it. Oh, it's very unrealistic that they can afford those apartments. And they try to justify it with like, well, it was my grandmother's, so it's rent controlled.

But it's not a good show. I hate Ross. But I won, thank you. I'd be curious. I'm actually curious because people are constantly talking about all the things that don't hold up or are problematic now from older shows. I'd be more curious what shows do hold up because I feel like that's a much smaller category.

Yeah, very true. I would love to look into that. The Wire freaking holds up. The wire fricking holds up. The wire is so fricking good. But I mean like sitcoms, like comedies especially. Yeah, comedy ages the fastest. Yeah, because people make fun of what they don't understand, right?

What they find ridiculous. Well, it's also like people find comedy in things that make people uncomfortable so where like gay couples each other yeah like gay like gay couples trans issues those things made people uncomfortable in the 90s so there was comedy there that's why you know a lot of people have have trouble looking back at some of the stuff on Seinfeld. Also, where do all the babies go after they're born? You see the person is pregnant in Friends, and then they have a baby,

and then you see maybe three out of the rest of the 300 episodes. Oof. They just are like, oh, the baby's with grandma. I don't know. It's not here. I'm like, what? That's just how shows are. Don't make them have a baby if you're not going to have the baby there.

I know, they could have pulled the whole house. Alright, sorry. So, well that, I give that one to Courtney as well. Courtney, could you take this next one? This one is Ian versus Shane. Birds are scarier versus fish are scarier. Ian is

advocating for birds. Shane is advocating for fish. Shane is advocating for fish. I'm going to give Ian the first argument. Are you ready? Yes. And your time begins now. Think about the things that scare you the most. Sound. Sound is such a

it's such a like an instigator for fear. Think about those horror movies that use sound to instill fear in you. That's just one of them, but there are many. The sound of the chainsaw in Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Sound is so important that it plays into fear. Birds.

It's fucking scary. what does a fish do i yield my time you have 10 seconds left that's it all right got 10 seconds or a peacock time oh my Oh my God. That's just putting, that's hell on me to edit. You know that. That was half of your argument was just sounds. Okay, Shane, are you ready for your argument? Of course. Your time begins now. Sounds are scary, but what's scarier is lack of sound, silence. What's even more scary and the ultimate fear that all of us have

deep down is the fear of the unknown. And we are unaware of over 90% of the Earth's ocean, which is where fish dwell. That is their home. They live in the unknown. They live in the depths. They live where we cannot breathe. They live in our death. They are demons.

Every single one, even a koi fish is a demon. They're just waiting. You can't see them. That's what's so scary. And you're dealing with thalassophobia on top of it. You're jumping down into the depths. You can't see where they are. They can see you.

They can feel you. They can sense you. And they're coming for you. The creature from Cloverfield, Cthulhu, Jaws, Godzilla, all fish, all live in the ocean. Time. Wow. Very interesting points from both of you. Ian, are you ready for your rebuttal? Absolutely. Your time begins now. Shane, we're not talking about ocean being scary. We're talking about fish. And the things in the ocean that scare me are not fish. They're sharks.

They're octopi. They're jellyfish, which are not fish. Those are not fish. Yeah, I guess a shark is a fish. Why are birds scary? All right. they can come at you fast and without with like without look fish birds are so dumb you can't you can't anticipate what they're gonna do you've seen that magpie swooping video they're crazy they're freaking crazy and they are descendants from dinosaurs motherfucker dinosaurs the ultimateosaurs, the ultimate fear-inducing thing. They still have that drive for killing in them. It's bred into them. They've evolved, but they still have that instinct

to rip you apart and kill you. I yield my time. Fuck you. Shane, are you ready for your bottle yes the time begins now I'd like to thank my opponent for naming a bunch of terrifying fish sharks and octopi

are both in the fish category octopus are not fish okay as dinosaurs are not technically birds dinosaur if dinosaurs were so tough they would have survived the comets but you know who did fish they survived there's plenty of species that are super old and man they're all they're all coming for you how many birds kill people per year versus sharks okay sharks are crazy and they're coming for you all right they take people out man they're huge

the biggest bird is maybe what the the California osprey. It's it's what, you know, got a seven foot wingspan. That's pretty great. A shark can get up to 15 feet. And that's just that's just pure metal crunching jaws of terror. Fish are also from hell. Oh, that's your time. Fish are from hell. Okay, valid arguments from both sides. Excellent bringing up of sharks. Ian, you could have argued that we have less opportunity

to come across a shark, but that was not in your argument today. Also, not a lot of people die from sharks. How many people die from birds? Do you remember the most dangerous animal in Australia? Sir, you yielded your time. It's a bird. It's the cassowary.

However, Shane had a very strong argument. Sharks are very dangerous. Octopuses freak me out. Kevin, what do you think? Yeah, I kind of agree. Ian had a strong argument with the dinosaurs but he missed it talking about cassowaries or ostriches or the big the big birds those ones that'll gore you uh shane did bring in cthulhu and godzilla which i don't think are fish

so that is kind of a negative we don't know uh true true wait isn't cthulhu like an octopus he's an elder god octopus or mollusks but I will have to say Shane I didn't have an opinion on either of them to begin with and Shane made me feel a little bit more terrified of the ocean just slightly more though I don't know where he got his facts from I didn't fact check him so

somebody snopes Shane on this one please all right so Shane you do get the point. Thank you. Sorry, Ian. I should have spent more time on the dinosaur connection. Manipulate us. Dinosaurs were so tough, they would have survived the meteor. Not so tough. But birds can fly.

Some of them survived, I guess. The birds are descendants of them, right? I'm more likely to come across an angry bird than an angry shark. Did the fish even survive? I know the alligators survived and sharks survived. Well, I guess that's why sharks are fish. Plenty of things.

I keep forgetting sharks are fish. Yeah. It's crazy. Because dolphins are mammals. Yeah. I get them mixed up. All right. Welcome back.

This next argument is going to be, are hot cheetos food or are they not food courtney is in favor of them being food shane believes they are not food shane you may begin uh you see food is is is one thing but uh hot cheetos are not technically in the category of food. The Department of Health puts hot Cheetos under the same category as all drugs, steroids, crack cocaine, heroin. This is the category that hot Cheetos fits in due to the extreme effects it has on the body. Now, hot Cheetos, however, are the only good drug. They're a drug that increases your logic, your charisma, your strength. I ate a hot Cheeto the other day and threw a smart car at a building. And it was an empty building. They needed to destroy it. They were taking it down. And so I threw a smart car at it and blew it up. And the construction workers were like, thank you so much. You just saved a whole day of work for us and i was like no problem man it's hot cheetos they what

they do is they take uh they find hot cheetos from a certain area of the savannah they extract a safe amount i'm sorry shane i'm gonna have to stop you right there i just i even if you weren't running out of time i would have still stopped you. Okay. That was the worst thing I've ever heard in my life. We are all now stupider because of you. Thank you for quoting Billy Madison. It had to happen at some point. I paraphrase that terribly.

I never thought we would need a fact checker on these debates, but I think next time we will have to hire one. Okay, Courtney? Allow me to take you on a journey. There's this restaurant in Long Beach where they serve you gourmet mac and cheese topped with egg, bacon, and you guessed it, flaming hot Cheetos. Restaurants would not legally be able to serve drugs in a restaurant, not of the caliber of cocaine or crack. Also, if you were to look at the definition of food,

it is something that is consumed, is edible to gain nutrients from and processed through the body. A bag of fire and flaming hot Cheetos has nutrition facts on the back. Therefore you gain nutrition. If anything is edible, you can consider it food. If it comes from cheese, not cheetahs, fucking Shane, it is dehydrated cheese.

And if you put it, it's a topping on mac and cheese, and it's got to be edible. And it's freaking delicious. And it makes anything that you eat that makes your poop feel bad later. It's got to be damn good. And that's your time feel bad later, it's gotta be damn good. And that's your time. Thank you, Courtney. Fuck, Shane. Come on, give me something more quick.

Shane, are you ready for your rebuttal? It was roughly, I think, around 20,000 BC that Lucifer and God made a pact. They needed to make something that was both the encapsulation of purity and evil. And that thing was hot Cheetos. Hot Cheetos predate, man. And predates food also. You know, God created drugs before food.

And so hot Cheetos was the king of them. And I'd like to also point out that restaurants do serve drugs. Krispy Kreme's a thing. Those donuts are just, I'm addicted, I'm hooked. And also they do serve one of those Long Johns where they inject it with black tar heroin.

Just filled to the brim with black tar heroin. And it's so good. Anyways, my point earlier was they extract hot cheetah blood and use that and they dehydrate that to turn that into the dust that they use on Cheetos. And what differentiates hot Cheetos from Cheetos, and you're referring to Cheetos. Shane, I'm sorry you're out of time.

But the hotness is the drug. Well, Courtney, I don't know how you're gonna match up against this. It's a tough one. Are you ready? Yeah. Shane, I love that you brought up the hotness because when creating a

chip or any kind of snack and you want to be spicy what do they incorporate would you say it would be yeah that's right chili peppers of some kind if that's included in hot peppers not hot tita blood that's how you get spicy. And if a chili pepper is involved, then it's definitely food. At the very least from that sore detail. You know when you ate the bottom of Cheez-Its in a bag? Or it's just the crumbs? That's powder?

That's basically Cheetos. It's just powdered cheese. And Cheez-Its are not. They are edible and they are food. And Cheetos blood is illegal in the US. You know that. I yield my time, fuck you. Illegal like a drug.

Wow. God. This is a pretty easy one. I mean, I guess I just, I mean, there's nothing else that I really have to say. I'm gonna have to give this one to Shane. Oh my God. What are you talking about?

Ian, you were telling me. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. It goes to Courtney. Sorry. Shane, Shane, be ashamed of yourself. You should be ashamed of yourself. This is a,

we're trying to create a respectable. In the age of information. Yeah, we're trying to create a respectable debate show.'re trying to create a respectable debate show. And you come in here with your shenanigans and think you can

just spread lies? I'm only telling the truth here. I'm a truth warrior. We really do need you to get fact-checked. If anybody listening to this can fact-check Shane on all this too, all this too yeah i'm really not sure about the cheetah thing i just don't know i think the thing that i want to know the most is drugs were were created by god before food yes that's a bold claim sir we don't need to sort out your priorities so like the Garden of Eden was all crack before? Yes. The forbidden

fruit was a nugget of weed. Yeah. Alright, welcome back to the annual debates. Thank you for coming to this boiler room in the back of a Payless. Hello! I am here with Ian Hecox defending

at-home shoots versus Courtney Miller defending studio shoots. As some of you listeners may or may not know, we, in these past couple months, have been shooting from home, filming whole sketches ourselves, and then having editors piece it all together. And now we're back to shooting in the studio together a little bit. So we'll see which one is ultimately better. I am your moderator, Buss Bonson.

Courtney, would you like to begin? When you think of a shoot at a studio, you immediately picture the crew. That is a large group of people all working together to make sure the shoot keeps going smoothly, and that's their job. Filming in a studio creates more job stability and in general, more jobs when you have a full crew, including freelancers and art department.

You're also getting more social interaction. It's mentally healthy for you. And when you have a crew, AKA a cameraman or a shredder who's as handsome as Kevin Heaven, you definitely don't have to worry about tech when you're just acting. When you're at home working by yourself, you have to worry about sound, about how the set looks, about whether the line is funny or not. You have to worry about all these things that will distract you from giving your best performance. And you're alone in an apartment. You don't even know if your best performance is your best performance because you're by yourself and you're going crazy and you miss your friends and you just want to be hugged every once in a while. And sometimes you really miss those lunches where you just get to like sit in the green.

Time. Ian, you may begin now. Where did we all start in creating content? Where did we all begin? In our homes. Every once in a while, somebody needs to go back to their roots. They need to go back to see where they came from.

The at-home shoots allowed that. It brought us all back to what was truly important. Gave us a look into a 360 view of what it takes to create content, which is important. on making content so that you can then respect the others that put in a lot of work when we do get back into studio shoots. Helps boil everything down and- And time. Fuck you. Thank you for that Nokia commercial, Ian.

Courtney, your rebuttal begins now. While I do appreciate where Smosh came from, as well as the hard work that a lot of solo YouTubers do when they're doing a lot of things, even the most successful YouTubers will hire an editor who's better at that job than they are. But even that can be done working from home. What I'm talking about

is teamwork and being able to work well with others. And when you are in a crew surrounded by people, you bond, you learn how to allow other people's opinions or expertise to step in and it's a good building blocks to be a good employee and have good work ethic. And how much time do I have left? 15 seconds. I just drew a blank. Also, who doesn't want to look at Tim sometimes doing the little clack thing?

Oh, God. It is Ian's turn for a rebuttal. Begins now. Certainly. As you can see, Ian Smart, Courtney Dumb. Ian Smart, Courtney Dumb. Ian Smart, Courtney Dumb. Ian Smart, Courtney Dumb. Ian Smart, Courtney Dumb.

Ian Smart, Courtney Dumb. Ian Smart, Courtney Dumb. Ian Smart, Courtney Dumb. smart Courtney dumb Ian smart Courtney dumb Ian smart Courtney dumb I yield my time fuck you now smart your time you've yielded your time

sir Courtney dumb what Ian has just presented is a piece of information that I think is very important that I did not consider before, which was that clearly at-home shoots for the past couple months have driven Ian into a narcissistic mental breakdown the likes of The Shining. I can only assume that at-home shoots are actually really bad for us now because of what Ian just repeated over and over and over again. Ian, you had the win locked down.

You could have just stayed silent, but you had to berate your co-worker for a minute. I have to now switch. This has been just a back and forth tennis match of logic. I have to give the point to Courtney now. Excuse me. Because under Courtney's basis is love and Ian's just turned into hate and I cannot. No.

It's not hate. Ian's not Courtney dumb. Just putting that clip on Instagram. God. God. God. Oh, man. Yeah. Yeah, I concur on that one, Shane.

I think that's a great, a very apt choice. Ian had me on the first half to the point, he didn't even need a rebuttal. You were convinced as well, me too. And then it just all went downhill after that. Plus, Courtney did call me handsome, so I got to appreciate that one as well. Anytime. Bonus points on that.

Ian Smart, Courtney Dumb, Kevin Beautiful. Oh, dang. I think I'm feeling some bias coming from me, so maybe I have to withdraw my statement. Yeah. All right. Well, Courtney gets the win here. Congrats on the W. I concede. I concede.

I concede too. I see that you're a very mean boy. Get the fuck out. I think that finishes the debate of this podcast. What are the points? What are the points? Courtney has finished it with three. So Courtney in first place with three points. Courtney in first place with three points.

Shane in second place with two points. Ian, one point. Oh my gosh. I was supposed to just be a moderator for this. And I fucking cleared it. Good job. Well, that was the end of our debate. Good job.

That was the end of our debate. Truly a battle of wits and minds. It was a hard-fought battle, but I think everyone came out looking really great. Everyone looks so good today. Everyone looks so good. That's all that matters. We're all dumb, but we look good.

And that's what's most important. So yeah, if you guys want to see more of this, let us uh but before we end we gotta get to that shoot dude dude shoot dude shoot dude shoot dude shoot dude shoot dude shoot dude shoot dude uh you can submit your shoot dudes at S-H-O-O-T-D-O-O-D at smosh.com. And then for the people who want more debates, put in the comments what other debate topics you'd want. This one comes from Kaylin Michelle. As many, because of the current situation, I've been working from home, which really means I found myself cleaning more than I ever have. I keep my cleaning supplies in a caddy, which I have out on the floor. My Febreze bottle was on top of another cleaner. When I bent down to get something out of the caddy, I hit my cheekbone against the Febreze bottle. It hurt badly, but I ignored it. Well,

it turns out I had bruised my cheekbone from the collision with the Febreze bottle. I looked like someone had hit me. Being in a stay at home order, I thought I could get away with without having to tell anyone because who wants to admit such a shoot dude? That was until my coworker questioned my bruise on a work Zoom call. Nothing like having to tell your coworkers and boss you lost a fight with a cleaning bottle. Shoot, dude. Hold on. She hit her face she

bumped her face into a febreze a plastic febreze bottle so they have those they have those metal cylindrical ones the metal solid like the can the aerosol can but it didn't like how is it so it was like locked in place so that it wouldn't move. I think it was just, it was just sitting at like open. You calling Koo Koo chain? No, I'm just like, I believe it. Cause that's such a weird thing. Yeah. A weird story.

I'm just curious about the. So I think it's like, I think it's like a two tier caddy kind of thing. So she had the Febreze in the top, in the top, like open. It's like one of those, like, you know those ikea yeah teal ikea things so there's top and then there's the bottom there's a thing on the bottom she bent down and she bonked her face against the oh like okay so she went downward yeah yeah she went down got it smack her face on a ferrari's bottle and have you guys ever had a black eye i haven't i got i got one from playing uh spider tag which is a game you play on a playground where uh one person is uh has their eyes closed and they can

go anywhere and then everyone else has eyes open but they can only stay on the equipment they can't touch the ground and you do it like late at night for some reason i was an adult i was an adult when i was playing this by the way and i smacked head first into another person and we both had fun it was great i don't think i've ever had a black guy but a bruise that's crazy man that was you're there like a febreze bottle okay tell me if your home's you're not safe yeah it's always it's always weird having to defend a black guy and yeah i swear it's not domestic abuse it's not that that's a joke not that's something funny to laugh about but it's no it's true like i think we've all been there where it's like no i swear like this is just this

is an accident yeah i will say that it's it's a mild dude. I say it's a soft shoot, dude. Getting bonked by a Febreze bottle. Could have been worse. Because I think if that happened to me, I'd have just been like, oh my God. You won't believe what happened. Well, so I've had similar type of shoot dudes to this because I've gotten like, I have a burn on my left arm

and it's from some oil that splashed on me when I was cooking salmon. So not that cool. But stuff like that happens. They're like, what is that scar on your arm? Did you fight someone? Cause it looks like, it looked like a cigarette burn for a long time.

So people thought like, did someone burn you with a cigarette? And I was like, no, I flipped some salmon on a pan and some olive oil splashed onto my arm. I once had a tickle fight with a girl and I was holding onto her hand because I was trying to tickle, you know?

And then I let go of her hand when she was like trying to pull away, I let go. She smacked herself in the face and gave herself a black eye. Oh my God, you gave a woman a black eye? You horrible, horrible man. She hit herself. You slingshotted your own hand in her face.

I know. Stop hitting yourself. You second second second winded second hand punched a girl in the face. You bully. Second degree black eye. Wow. I don't have have any weird injuries like that.

I've only just had really bad acne on my face and I'll put a bandaid over it and people will be like, what happened? And you get more attention than you would have with the actual zit. Kevin? I don't have any of those. Lacey though, she's being a cake baker, my wife.

She burns herself a lot. She's very, very clumsy. And she burns herself on the oven a lot. And it's usually on her wrist. So if you look at her wrists, she has burn marks all the way down both of them. And she has had people ask her before and like question, be like, is everything okay?

Is she doing something? I'm like, I swear to God, it's just burn marks because she's very, very clumsy. Oh my goodness. Injuries from the cake wars the cake wars pretty much exactly that dang thank you guys so much for joining the very first smosh

debates 2020 if you guys want more of this you could suggest you could suggest debate topics who you want on these ones were submitted by our crew so it'll be really fun to see what you guys uh post yeah we wanted to do this because it's it's fun and silly and like i just speaking from my personal experience the internet has been

causing a lot of like feeling of numbness and just like kind of feeling really down. So I'm I'm glad that we can come together. We do get very real on this podcast. Like sometimes it's like, what even is this podcast? We're on a comedy podcast. We're getting into serious issues. And so sometimes we'll do that. But also sometimes we just want to be something that can provide you some serotonin, some laughs.

Because, you know, at the end of the day, that's our main main. That's making people laugh. You guys gave me laughs. I was very much enjoying your guys' debate. These are the most I've laughed on a pod in a while. You guys are ridiculous. Love you guys. But skateboard definitely wins. Yeah, skateboard is the best. No, I a pod in a while. You guys are ridiculous. Love you guys. But skateboard definitely wins.

Yeah. No, I can't. I wasn't ready. And also, I did skate lab. Like, I was a skateboarder. I'm very cool. Well, before we go, I just want to say that we have a new line out. It's the Groovy line.

We got some really awesome clothing that just released, designed by Kel Loren, a very talented designer. It's really cool. The really cool colors. I think there's some sweaters and some t-shirts, and they're just such cool colors, really fun little groovy designs. And I highly encourage you to check them out they're really cute they're very they fit very nicely the the crewnecks are like chef's kiss comfortable like

you know when some hoodies are crewnecks like the cuff wrist part is like they're always different this is the nice like uh comforting like form-fitting ones that i really love sorry they're not yeah they're not hoodies. They're crew neck sweaters. Crew necks, t-shirts, really cute designs. We've been really excited about them for a while, like a while, while. So go check those out and look cute with us. Shane, Courtney, Kevin from Heaven,

thank you guys so much for coming on. And we will see you guys next week. Love you so much. Bye. And we will see you guys next week. Love you so much. Goodbye.