Smosh Mouth - S2: #77 - Shayne and Damien Aren't Best Friends Anymore

Episode Date: August 26, 2020

Shayne decided that he needs a better best friend than Damien— and that new best friend is Jackie. Shayne and Jackie answer questions that YOU submitted to us on Instagram to get to know each other better and further solidify their best friendship!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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I was a little shook when I really realized how much y'all do. I was like, oh my god. It's crazy. I love anime. Damien does not watch sports, but I watch sports because and I tell him this. They're very similar to anime. If I'm interested in someone, I will ask them out. And recently I've stopped doing that because it doesn't go as well as I think it will. Can I ask you a question? Of course you can. This is a podcast. That's okay. You're loud. Is your dad's middle name really

Royal? What's? Hi. Hello. Oh my God. What the heck is going on? I got to see you for a second with that, the COVID testing. That was fun. was an experience yeah it was brutal he was quick the guy was quick it was just a like quick jab up into my nose i cried but not too bad yeah he was very efficient i was like he was ready to go and i was like let me slow this process down i'm like how's your day going today sir like are you doing like how are you are you are you good and he started crying he's like no one ever asks me how I'm doing exactly I was like please I'm not ready I haven't done that was the first time I did the nasal swab so I was just like what do you think I didn't want it to happen it wasn't as bad as I thought um I've had stuff stuck

up my nose and I've had bad experiences so it freaks me out a lot. But I usually just all try to like relax myself. Just stay open, stay open. So that's what I did.

After just like shooting this shit with him like sticking it. He's like are you into this this is you made him uncomfortable he's like i gotta quit this job it reminds me i read a story dude i read a story the other day that some like kid in new zealand a lego fell out of his nose that had been up there for two years did he which is did he did everybody know about it maybe maybe it was like his thing maybe everyone's like, that's Bobby. He's got the Lego up his nose. Like, that's what makes him cool.

Without that, he's nothing. I'm Bobby and I have a Lego up my nose. I know that's my whole personality. Hey, what's up? I'm Bobby and I have a Lego up my nose. That's who I am. Hello, everyone. For those of you who may not recognize me by my voice, this is Shane Topp.

And I am hosting this podcast with Jackie Uwe. Hey. An absolute champ in Eat It or Yeet It a couple weeks ago. Lord. With the bug covered pie, which was great. I was watching that video and I was just like, I can still taste it. And I was eating. I ate right after I watched it And I was just kind of like not in a good mood. The rest of the day. Just kind of bummed. Yeah, just like, not mad, just kind of like sad. But it wasn't, bugs aren't that, it wasn't like, it didn't taste bad, right?

It's just the idea. No, it's all mental. All of it was mental. Like the bugs didn't taste bad. Like the texture of the clay was, the texture of the clay got me. Usually I don't have issues with texture but that one got me and then i mean i bts like that earlier that day we shot two eat it or eat it so based on what happened in the other video i was extra sensitive to things that happened in the next video and i just was like my taste buds were kind of done so yeah without without being specific at all yeah it's

definitely rough when we have to shoot several eat it or yeet it's and you get through one and you either have to eat you you eat the worst thing in one eat it or eat it and then you go into another and you're just like i my stomach is already filled with so much awful stuff to add to the nightmare now. Yeah. Would be terrible. Your soul is just like kind of upset. Just kind of bummed.

Really just, it's just a general, just a bum. That's the only way to describe my experience on Eat It or Eat It. It's just bummed. I'm very excited to be talking to you today because I think let's be honest, Jackie, I feel like you and I are already very good friends. I feel like you and I are already very good friends. And I think there's tons of best friend potential here. It's time for Damien to retire. Like, you know, he had a good run as my best friend. Eventually you get bested and someone comes along who does the job better. And I just think you're clearly a better friend. I appreciate that you see that, you know, and that you've seen that so quickly because, I mean, I've watched your and Damien's relationship, like your friendship, you know, like online and offline at this point.

And I'm just like, I don't know, I could do better. I really think I could. I know. And I respect that so much. And the fact that you're willing to say that shows that you're clearly capable of being my best friend. That's the type of honesty that Damien and I just don't like. We don't have that level of honesty with each other. And you and I already have that.

We already have that. We're already tracking. We're already best friends. I can't even say it with a straight face. I'm like, yeah, because I'm all, you know what I'm thinking about? I'm thinking about Damien's like fans. They ride for him so hard. So it's just like.

The Clever Corps is no joke, man. Is that what they're called? The Clever Corps. That is. Oh my God. Yeah. And it's, it's like the Marine Corps. I'd say it takes the same level of dedication.

They have me shook. I can't even say like, yeah, I'm a better friend than Damien. Like sweating. You know, they're coming. Oh, completely. This is the thing though. Even when they're angry, they're so polite. They're the, they're the most respectful. They're the most respectful group that they're never going to say anything mean, but they'll be like, Hey, what you said, not very nice. Which is more hurtful.

It's like when your mom is like, I'm not mad. I'm disappointed. I'm disappointed. That's that same energy. Or if they give you the like, that really hurt me. Or like, oh, I felt really hurt. It's just like, oh, oh, oh, no, I am the bad guy. Well, I guess I'll be the bad guy today because I'm your new best friend.

We have a bunch of questions here sent in from fans through different social media platforms. I think these questions are really going to highlight just how similar we are and that we have a very similar point of view, which makes sense. We're best friends. Yes. And you've heard these questions. I don't know what these questions are. Yeah, I read through them a little bit. They're good. Okay. They're good. Okay. Great. Let's start off with like a, let's start off with an easy one. Okay. A little softball. Yeah. This is a little softball, but it gets crazy. It gets really crazy soon. This first question comes from Christian Kachurek and they ask, what was your first job? I think that's a

good question. I can go first if you want. Yeah, sure. Go first. I'm very lucky in that I've never worked a like regular job. When I was 13, I got an agent in Arizona and then went out for a couple auditions and miraculously booked the first two auditions I went out on. One was a student film and the other was a SAG, like a movie with a budget, low budget. Moon Pie? Moon Pie. Yeah, it was called Moon Pie. It had some actors from Mad TV. Is that the one from 2006 where you're playing john paul do you have my imdb pulled up no oh you just knew that jane i'm your best friend so oh my god jack best friends i can't believe you you knew that that is the coolest thing that's ever happened i'm sorry i apologize i completely interrupted you but i just

like i just wanted to let you know so that anyone listening or watching knows what we're talking about. 2006 Moon Pie. He played John Paul. Yes, yes. Wow. Jackie, you know me better than I know myself a true best friend. Hey, that Yeah, so I filmed that in 2004. So that was my first job. And it was weird. It was weird because I only got into acting like a couple of years or like a year or so prior to that. Like I did a play in school and then I was like, let's do a community theater play. I did one community theater play. And then I went to start going to this acting class and they were like, you need to get an agent.

And I was like, all right, I'll get an agent. And then got an agent and then got those auditions and booked. Like it was so fast. And that's, I will say that's the luckiest I ever have been in my career because that all happened very quickly. And then after that, when I came out to LA, it was like a hundred auditions and I booked nothing. It, it, the harshness of the industry hit eventually, but I got very lucky there. So that was my first job. job you know and it makes sense that as best friends that you would have a job like that uh because it's so complimentary my first job

Shane and how um my first job that wasn't like a family like wasn't connected to family uh was selling hot dogs selling hot dogs i like how you said not connected like unreal like unconnected to my family as if you have a family like you're part of a mafia it's like well obviously i kill people as part of the family business but yeah outside of that yeah So wait, you sold hot dogs. Where did you sell hot dogs at? So I was a hot dog representative for this company, this meatpacking company. And so I was on their sales team.

So we would go out to grocery stores. We would set up our like, like set up a little. Do you like my sound effects? effects yeah the people listening love that uh for those just listening she did a bunch of physical movements they don't help explain it at all actual trash so i set up like this sign behind me that's what the it was like a pop-up sign yeah that i set up behind me i had my little little George Foreman grill or what our off-brand one they put in our kit. And then we had to stand next to where those hot dogs were being sold in the grocery stores and make the hot dogs and pass them out.

And we would stick pretzels in them. So the whole thing was not biodegradable, but like it was, there's no waste. So like zero waste when you're giving out samples. Oh, cool it was, there's no waste. So like zero waste when we're, when you're giving out samples. Oh, cool. Oh, that's really awesome. That's interesting. I've never actually seen anything like that at the grocery store. Like obviously there's people at the grocery store.

I have, but aren't the people who do the samples, like they're Costco employees? Yes, but sometimes they'll have outside vendors. So if you, if you look at like the water, I also, I love Costco. I know you're my best friend, so you already know that. Oh, Costco's great.

That was where we went. Like as a kid, that's the only place we went. It's an excellent place. So my dad is luckily the most organized person I know, but he also is probably, he's probably a borderline hoarder. Like remember this year when people started hoarding up toilet paper

and it was like, people have 500 rolls of toilet paper. I was like, that's my dad already. Like we would go to Costco and he'd be like, yeah, we need to get all this. It's like, why? He's like, cause it'll cover us for the next year. We don't have to think about it. And I'm like, okay.

Just tons, tons of stuff. I like going on like friend dates to costco i mean as like a millennial like not a lot of people would have costco cards for some reason or like usually your parent has a costco card so i have a costco card and so i'll just i'll like let my friends like fyi like i got the i got the plug i got the costco card i got the costco card yeah so if you ever want to go just like let me know and we can just hang out. Don't tell anyone I have the Costco card. Yeah.

So we can just go and spend time there to get the samples. So that was the thing is sometimes you'll see outside vendors in the Costco doing samples. So those were the best days when we got to set up inside the Costco's. It was like a 10 hour day. It was like two or three people were staffed at the station and we had like two tents inside. It was great. That was big money days. That's that sounds awesome.

How old were you? Were you like a kid? I was in high school. It was either it was like the summer. It might have been summer after senior year or like in between junior and senior year. That's dope. I mean, it sounds like it was a positive job. The reason why I don't work there anymore, it was this after the summer after my senior year,

because the next year I just went to school. I went off to school. So yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, hot dogs are great. And honestly, Costco hot dogs are, in my opinion, the best hot dogs and they cost, they cost negative money. They pay you to eat them. That's how cheap they are. Exactly. They pay you to eat them. That's how cheap they are. Exactly. I think that showed that you and I basically had the same first job. So we're basically best friends.

I mean, yes. Hot dogs and student films, kind of the same. It's, I mean, I think we have the same background. And I mean, we're here, right? We're here together now. We're definitely here. So it seems like the choices we made led us exactly to where we needed to be. Exactly. Just like a hot dog. This next question

comes from at Blue Nightwing 13. What is your smallest fear? That's a fun question. I definitely know the answer for me. What is what is yours? You can go first this time. So a small fear that I have, and it's lessened a lot over the years. But when I was younger, I really had a problem with the colors red and blue being put next to each other. It made me very uncomfortable and just like a lot of just conflicting feelings. I don't know if I'm supposed to feel hot or if I'm supposed to feel cold or just seeing them together. I,

it made me like nauseous when I was younger. That's gotta be tough. Cause there's a lot of American flag, like stuff everywhere. Like, I mean, also what does that say about, um,

I think your, your fear isn't small. You're scared of America. I'm I, but I mean, it's pretty accurate. It's 2020. Americans are banned from the rest of the world. That's how scared everyone is of America. Yeah.

No, you guys stay in there. It was such a weird thing. But when I was coloring mainly, I would see it come up. I wouldn't grab a red crayon and then a blue one or like a marker or anything or color next to each other but like then you see like back here i have like red plates and like i have blue towels but i'm even conscious of the fact that like there's a blue like brita over here and a red plate next like near each other you're just aware of that yeah like it's like too aware of it so it's are there any other contrasting colors that you don't like

because they are contrasting colors like i think there's probably like psychological depth to that uncomfortability somebody analyze me so because i'm from uh stockton we were like a sacramento kings household when I watched basketball. So the only colors I don't like putting next to each other that are complimentary are like purple and yellow, because it's like automatic Lakers colors. Yeah. Back when like the Kings were back when the Kings had like Chris Webber, like that era of the Kings, and there was like a legitimate rivalry happening. I would say I'd tie those two colors.

I think that makes sense. I think purple can often be, purple's used by so many like recognizable things that I can get it, especially purple and yellow. When you're in LA, it's hard for it not to be Lakers. So wait, really quick. You grew up in Sacramento or that Sacramento area? you grew up in sacramento or that sacramento area i grew up in stockton yeah okay i don't know i don't know exactly where that is in relation to

uh because you would always fly into the sacramento airport when you guys yeah because smosh smosh was born out of sacramento that's why i asked i think that's kind of funny that you happen to be close to there i live 45 minutes away from the Sacramento airport. That's so funny. Yeah, we used to fly. We used to fly into Sacramento airport every other week to film sketches. For years we did that. You guys go so hard.

We do. Like people don't realize how intense we go. Like filming all our stuff. We go crazy. I was a little shook when I really realized how much y'all do. I was like, oh my God. It's crazy. I was a little shook when I really realized how much y'all do. I was like, oh my God. It's crazy.

It's crazy. Anyway, so small fears. Mine is paperwork. I am terrified of paperwork. Really? Not like medical paperwork is whatever. I think it's because there's so much information. There's so many numbers I have to remember. And I always feel like I don't, I'm missing something. It's

hard to keep track of a lot of things. And I think this fear also spills into I'm really, I have like a fear often of emails. And it's that if I don't check my email for a couple hours, then I already have this fear of like, oh, what if an important email was sent to me? And I already it's already too late. Like now I'll be responding late. And I already feel bad about the fact that it's I'm like, I don't want to have to go in there and be like, oh, crap, I'm so sorry, I screwed up. And I'm responding late. So that fear makes me procrastinate longer. And then I often go like a week where I'm literally, I'll literally like glance at my email, I'll be like, ah, and then I'll like look away because I don't want to deal with intense stuff.

And an email, you can get an awful email at any time. Completely. Just something crazy that I don't want to deal with. Has anything ever happened where something crazy did happen in email form? I think as an actor in this industry, and I mean, you know as well as just, you're waiting for auditions and you're waiting around doing absolutely nothing.

Your life is so boring. And then suddenly it's a phone call or an email that it's like, you have the craziest audition ever tomorrow morning. And you're just like, suddenly you are feeling all the anxiety and nerves. It went from, I have nothing to do this week to holy shit. I have to be in a room with some powerful director tomorrow and try to do my best in order to have a career. Yeah.

In order to make my dreams come true. It's so intense. Literally, when I was a teenager, when I first came out here, my managers, the ringtone for my manager at the time, it had a specific ringtone to it. To this day, when I hear that ringtone, I get a jolt of anxiety. Do you have the same agent? You have. At the time when I was a teenager, I had a manager and we set a specific ringtone for when he'd call. And back when I was a teenager, I would get such severe anxiety and nerves when I had an audition. Like, I would black out in some auditions. I don't remember some audition. Like, I would go in, I would come out and be like, I don't remember what just happened. I was so nervous. Man. So when I would get those phone calls, I would then be feeling anxious until the audition was done.

So it'd be 24 hours straight of just terrible nerves and anxiety. When I hear that sound to this day, like a Pavlovian thing, I still feel anxiety. So Kevin just messaged us a very good point. How would you guys feel if both you came across paperwork that was made out of red and blue alternating pages or just blue and red ink? It would make me feel uncomfortable.

And I don't know why it makes me uncomfortable, but it's just like, is it supposed to be hot or is it supposed to be cold? I don't, what is it supposed to be hot or is it supposed to be cold i don't what is it like make a decision it just feels like so indecisive to me and i don't know what it is uh so i would probably just be very suspicious and distrustful if i got paperwork like that are you ever eating m&ms and then you accidentally have a blue and red m&m and you're just scared it's not that deep no and you just throw it throw them away.

I don't even look at the, I'm just, you know how people pick out Starbursts? Yeah. And they're there. They have like the, I was like, I eat them all. All the gummy bears. I eat it all. So. I'm the same way.

My grandpa, however, would only eat yellow M&Ms. Is that Wayne? What the hell? Best friend? That's my other grandfather. I'm sorry. God dang. Damien definitely doesn't know that.

You are my best friend. Everyone knows that the only way, the way you prove you're someone's best friend is by knowing their grandfather's name. That's the way. Yeah, I mean. This is my other grandfather. He's passed away, but his name was Papa Ted.

I mean, I think undiagnosed, but I think he just had like OCD. He would literally pick out the yellow M&Ms and he would eat only the yellow M&Ms. Oh, wow. They don't, I mean, they don't taste different, but. No, not at all. I know a lot of people that do that where they're just like, I willMs. Oh, wow. I mean, they don't taste different, but... No, not at all. I know a lot of people that do that, where they're just like, I will not... No, sorry.

Won't touch. I won't touch the red M&Ms, please. Yeah. Well, great. Well, so we've only further proven that we're best friends. For those listening, I think... Can I ask you a question?

Of course you can. This is a podcast. That's... Okay. You're allowed. Is your dad's middle name really Royal? Are you on the smosh wiki i'm not i'm not yes it's where okay then where did you okay i'm just like too amazed at how good of a best friend you are that i almost don't believe it like that's i guess that's where i'm at is

where i'm just like wow you're paying so much attention to me. Like you remembered everything. Like it's too good to be true. There's no way to like test this because this is a podcast. But I mean, I don't have any tabs open right now. Nothing open. Yeah. I just like I just feel like, you know, when you're friends with someone, you like look stuff up about them and you you you you ask questions. And when I saw that I

had a question which is why I just want to make sure it was real I wanted to hear it coming out your mouth yes his name really his middle name really is royal cool you you got it way to go that it makes me feel really great that I have a best friend who knows that information and would ask those questions that's important it is really Thank you so much. Damien's never asked that question. And honestly, now that I realize that, I wonder why I tolerated such a shitty friend for so long. I, you really, you know, perks of being a wallflower, you accept the love you think you deserve.

You're so right. I think you deserve more, Shane. Thank you, Jackie. Can I ask you one other question, Shane? Yeah, you can ask me one other question. Do you still stay in touch with Ellen? What the heck? Oh, yeah.

Do you? Y'all talk still? Yeah. Yes, we still talk. Okay. Wow. Really means a lot talk. Okay. Wow. Really means a lot that you know these things. Hey, I was literally like, I was just watching Gilmore Girls and I just didn't realize that

we were so freaking connected because I was like, you know, some might call her a villain, you know, V. I don't know what you, I mean, I don't know Vanessa, but I know clearly you do. But I also almost sounded like Kara right there. But anyway, yeah, like V, you know, and Vanessa. Some might call her a villain. You're just saying like all my friends' names. You're just like, I know all your friends.

I know all your friends. So they're all on the internet. No, that's just like really cool. I just I love that. I'm glad you're still in touch with them, you know? Yeah, for sure. And I mean, like, Jackie, I know tons of information about you. Like, I know that you grew up in Stockton and that you were a big fan of the Kings, you know, back in the day when they had different players and stuff like that.

And I know that red and blue makes you uncomfortable. Yeah. I don't know where I got this stuff from. At all. But I got it. Okay, let's move on. Shay, can I ask you one more question? Oh, my God.

Yes. Oh, my God. What? Have you, so how many, how many, did you pass? You don't know about like some surgery I had at some point. How is your dental work going? Are you, you haven't done anything yet though, right? Like, are you, when are you planning to get some work done?

Like, are you thinking about it? I don't know. What's going on? I mean, I had a root canal recently. Are you going to get that crown fixed? Yeah, pretty soon. I'm going to have to get it. Yeah.

Wow. I can't. It's pretty like it's like David Blaine. It's like David Blaine, but as a friend, you know, it's like if David Blaine was your best friend, that's how I feel right now. You know, things that no one knows. Hey, black girl magic, right? Exactly. That's man. I'm so glad I'm getting rid of Damien. Like he's clearly the worst friend. Look, man, I'm committed to you. So thank you, Jackie. That that means a lot. I feel

really confident moving forward with a friend like you who knows about Ellen and my dental work, you know, stuff that I have not been able to share with anyone else, but you just know about it. I do, because I know you. You do know me. Go ahead, Shane. I'm sorry, keep interrupting. So this next question comes from at Omnivore22.

What is the craziest thing you've done to catch the eye of a love interest? Actually, I think you and I are very similar when it comes to like dating and flirting and stuff. I think you and I are terrified. Am I right? I am terrible at making moves because I'm just so certain that anything I do will come across creepy or just bad. I'm like, it's better to do nothing than to do anything. This is really the only thing that we don't have in common.

Oh. Because I am, I'll go for it. Oh, really? I am the type that will, if I'm interested in someone, I will ask them out. And recently I've stopped doing that because it doesn't go as well as I think it will sometimes. But yeah, I just. How does it not go? Like, obviously, if you ask people out, there's a chance you might get rejected.

But like, has it gone like really bad? Or just you've just gotten a no? Sometimes I'll ask, how do I how do I explain this? I just choose poorly, you know, so it's like, yeah, I want to go out. Oh, I love this person. I have a crush on them. And then I asked them out. And like, let's say we go on a date. And I'm like, oh, they're actually like a dumpster fire. Well, that happens. That's, you know, that's, that's not your fault that they didn't that you couldn't tell the dumpster was on fire you thought you were asking out a regular dumpster yeah and then you get on the date and you're like oh this dumpster is on fire yeah that i can't handle yes that's that that has happened to me many a time so i've just so wait you stopped you stopped asking

people out because you think you have bad taste in just like who you initially have crushes on yes so what what's your hope now but if someone asks you out and you're not initially attracted to them would you say yes if someone asked me out and i wasn't initially attracted to them i would go i would still go out with them just to like give it a shot if I thought there was like a possibility you know because I I do believe in like growing to love people or just like getting to know I I really want to get to know people right like that's what I've that's kind of more how I've transitioned my dating style is like I either want to uh date someone that I

really want to get to know or someone that I already know and that I'm interested in and that I'm meeting more naturally. I'm sure air quotes. So like friends of friends or mutual friends. So recently there was this guy that is a mutual I met through like a mutual friend and we both found out we were both single. And then we were like, cool, I think you're cute. I think you're cute. And then we exchanged numbers and that could go nowhere. And that's OK. But it was it felt like the stakes were a lot lower in that type of situation because you're just like, hey, I think you're cool. You seem interesting. Let's get to know each other.

And then you never even mentioned the dating word until you're actually like, let's go on. Let's spend quality time together. Let's go to the ice rink together. Yeah. I think that's I honestly, this might be a controversial opinion, but I don't know if I really buy into the whole like love at first sight. And just when people talk about the spark initially, like I'm always just kind of hesitant about it because everyone's so different. And for people like me, my walls are pretty high up. Like I'm very guarded, emotionally guarded person.

And as you're saying, you were initially attracted to like the wrong types of people for you. That's like a hard thing to accept of like, oh, the spark sparks for the wrong people. It's like, that's kind of like not broken, but just misguided. So you're kind of like have to consciously choose. And that's tough.

That's scary. Cause you're like, what is right for me? Yes. It has been a journey uh that i'm him on a journey because sometimes i feel like i don't know i feel like this happens to a lot of people when you're interested in someone and they have like very clear like red flags or things that they maybe need to work out or ways in which they treat people that are very clear but you think that you're going to be able to fix them i feel like years ago i i used

to be kind of on that energy but it's kind of morphed into um maybe i can learn something from them which i think is worse i don't know i don know. I'm not dating right now. We're in a pandemic. There's too much shit to worry about. I think like maybe you don't need either. Like you're going to learn things from other people no matter what, but it's really just finding the person that you, I think it is as simple as just someone that you just like hanging out with, you know, like someone you connect with and everything. And I'm not just saying this to you because you're my best friend. Like, I'm very confident that you'll be able to find someone that you connect with on that level.

Like, I think it's just a matter of time. And LA is a tough place. It's very tough out in these streets. Yeah. But I think it's really awesome. And I hope you do continue with asking guys out because I think it's so cool. And I think it's important. I've always hated the social norms of like, this person's supposed to ask out this person. I'm like, no, if you find interest in a person, tell them. Like, yeah, do it. And I've had girls.

I think only one. You put a period there. I've had girls. I've had girls. I girls i think only one you put a period there i've had girls i've had i've had girls uh i think i think only one uh asked me out and i thought it was so cool like i have just so much respect for it i think it's an incredibly awesome trait uh it just shows confidence so anyways i think we can chalk that up as we're clearly best friends. Clearly. Clearly best friends. Let's do one more question. It'll obviously prove that we're insanely best friends no matter what.

Katana Mika 1N. So I don't know how to pronounce that. What is a hobby you do that no one knows about? And if everybody knows about it, just what's a fun hobby that I may not know about? Okay. So something that it's funny because like sometimes my friends listen to the podcast and they've heard me talk about this endless, like talk their ears off about it. But I'm really last year I made a commitment to becoming a fan of something.

I was like, I just want to be a fanatic about something. That's great. I need this. I also like as an actor, I was like, all I do all is all I can't just think about acting all the time. This. Yeah. Like how boring is that? So I decided to become a fan of gymnastics. So I started like very aggressively watching like NCAA gymnastics, US gymnastics. It started actually, I guess this is two years now. But it started when Simone Biles was making her comeback this this time around when she came back after Rio, but I watched like her first competition and every competition she's been in since then. And so now I'm just like, very familiar with I just have a lot of gymnastics.

I think that's dope. That's super cool. Dude, gymnastics is, it sucks how many sports there are in the Olympics that when I watch the Olympics, I'm like, this is the coolest thing I've ever watched. And then I go four years without watching that sport until I watch it again. And gymnastics is one of them. It's crazy. It's true. It's true. It's truly insane.

And it's, it's because I mean, I didn't want to be a four year fan of gymnastics, especially because this is probably Simone Biles' last Olympics. So I wanted to see her. How old is she? Isn't she like 24? Yeah.

And that's, I guess that's when they have to retire, right? Yeah. It's like, well, it's time to pack it up. You're 50 in this industry. You know, what's crazy, though, is that one of the gymnasts, her name is Chelsea Memel. She's she's from the 2008 silver silver medal winning Beijing team.

That one was like Nasty Luke and Sean Johnson. She's actually making a comeback right now and she's like i mean she's probably i was like she's older now she's in like her mid-30s but like oh she's ancient she's yeah but no she's making a comeback right now um and she i mean she is super old for a for a gymnast yeah um so it's very very cool watching her comeback career right now. But that's something that I could talk about forever. It's got to suck. I think about this a lot, like with Michael Phelps. I watched the Olympics when Simone Biles first, like just started crushing it.

It's got to suck to be a normal, just a professional athlete. And you come up and you're like this is my time right at the time that someone like Simone Biles like like just one of those like legends shows up and you're just like ah fuck like because I remember watching Simone Biles go up and do the routine and it's just you're watching a Marvel movie you're're like, well, all right, that's not human, whatever she just did. Gravity's like, you know what? I'm gonna step out of this one. I'll let you do whatever you want.

Gravity just stops for a second. It's gotta suck to watch it and just be like, well, all right, congrats on your 50 medals. It's funny, because when I listen to the commentary, they're always like, it's really just who's competing for second. Honestly, kind of like she's kind of a bummer, but she's she's just so dominant. It's it's really fun to watch. And like it's I think about like those huge how like how exciting is it to have like a huge like athlete and to see them to see like their whole journey to like these like big moments?

You know, I think I was like, oh, I think I understand sports now. see them to see like their whole journey to like these like big moments you know yeah man i i think i was like oh i i think i understand sports now oh you know that's what i love i love so i love football um there's obviously a lot of controversy around like the concussions and stuff i hate that aspect um it's a bummer but i love the players and i love watching because you are literally what i can equate what I equate football to and I try to tell Damien this all the time football and basketball but no right he doesn't get it he he refuses he refuses to take interest in the things I have interest in I love anime he loves anime Damien does not watch sports but I watch sports because and I tell him this they're very

similar to anime they're all about the only way to like win is to get better to train constantly and what I really love about sports is that it's not written so the the meanest worst team can win and they do a lot and it's just a bummer. And you're just like, ah, Boston won again. They're the bad guys. But watching a player come as like a rookie and not be great. And then five years later, they're winning a Super Bowl is so cool. It's so cool. I think that's the best part of sports, honestly, is getting to like know the players and know everything about your team you know i think that's that's the cool part yeah it's like learning people's stories and and also understanding like

when someone gets injured or whatever or knowing like where they came from and it's like it's not just this injury like this is like this could be like a career ending injury or this could be like their third injury or it's like when this person gets hit in the head one more time. Like, yeah, it could be over. You know, there's so many elements and there's also like a lot of math to it because there's always people's stats. Right. And I know it's probably the same for gymnastics. It's just like they can jump this high. They can run this fast. And also just things like they in the fourth quarter, they often do this thing and seeing those play out uh against the like more spiritual aspects of like well they all know that their

favorite player the captain of the team is retiring after this game and that stuff always means they're gonna win it like those like movie moments are real yes i mean it can get intense where it's like oh the court here comes the quarterback and uh he got news that his father passed away this week and you're like well he's about to have the best game of his life and he always does like they that that sort of like emotional momentum is so real yeah i love it like i love all the i for me it's like it's a very nerdy obsession it's like like I'm obsessed with like the math of it. I'm like, I want to predict and do all this guesswork. So wait, we both love sports. We do. We both love sports. Best friends. We're best friends.

Yes. And Jackie, it's not, it's no longer a question of if you're my best friend. It's just like, how do I break the news to Damien? That's the question. I don't know. Because this is. I don't know what that conversation is going to be like. It's not even close. I think Damien is going to have to just accept it. Now we're moving on from questions and we have our shoot dude.

Oh, wait, hold on. Kevin's saying to stand by really quick. I'm not sure what that means. Wait, hold on one second. What's. Hey. Oh my God. What the one second What's Hi Oh my god What the heck is going on? Oh my god

Damien Hey Hi Hey Damien Hi Jackie I heard that this was a fun Best Friends podcast So I thought I would be needed

But I can see I'm already here So don't let me Bug you I am only on this Zoom call because i needed to grab this i needed it for business oh shane would know what this is um and i i will i'm not going to bother you but i hope you're having a great day hey hey damien i'm sorry really quick question really quick um do you know by any chance do you know my dad's middle name oh gosh darn shane yeah like i'm gonna forget a silly whole middle name like royal oh wow oh hey

yeah that's something you forget when damien you know his mom's name right um yes wait a minute um uh it's it's it's so it's robert royal top and and then is it Catherine? Yeah, but like what's your maiden name? Damien. Catherine, where did you? Oh, that's right. I forgot the part where best friends just look up Wikipedias of each other.

That's so cool. Oh, you came in real hot today Damien. I'm just saying Jackie. I'm just saying. Guys, welcome to DramaCast. I'm just saying Jackie. I'm just saying. Guys welcome to Dramacast. I'm just saying. If you're a real friend you would know her maiden name Damien. Yeah.

Well I've got thoughts for you. What character name has Shane had in a show or movie that I have also had in a video game or show or movie? You mean like Shane Zabo? Like from So Random?

Zabo? Zabo? No, because we both haven't been named Shane Zabo or Zabo in a thing. Oh, like that you both, I'm sorry. You asked that question in a very confusing manner. This has been a very confusing day, Jackie. I know.

So sorry. Frankly, I'm very confused right now. I like how you guys are just, in order to prove who's my best friend, you guys are just slowly doxing me. Just like, yeah, well where does Shane, what's his social security number? What's his address and password to his building?

Go on Shane, tell us your social, we'll say it with you. What does he have his security alarm set to? You mean 5384? Yes. What's he allergic to and how do you slip it into his drain i've been slowly munchhausening shame for years okay okay i love that continuous verb

munchhausen munchhausen's by proxying shame for a while. Okay, okay, okay, guys. The answer was Dennis, by the way. Okay, stop. Guys, stop fighting. All right, look, for the time being, let's settle on the fact that you're both my best friend. That was real quick for her though. That was real quick. Just, here's my thing.

I don't want to be a possessive best friend. I can hold space for you to have other friends. I think I have a chip on my shoulder because, Jackie, I don't know if you saw this video, but we did a best friends competition before where I didn't happen to get all the questions right. Yeah, I watched that one. You did? I would have done really well, Damien.

I'm trying to connect with you here. I want you to meet me halfway. Oh, sorry. Okay, let me roll back. Yeah, I saw that and I felt for you. Thank you. I've just had it questioned a bunch. And like, Jackie, you're awesome.

Everybody loves you. I've just, using superlatives is hard. Hey, Damien, you know what? Like, look, I don't want to fight you. I wouldn't want to fight me i don't know i wouldn't want to fight me either i really i really like you you know and i feel like i feel like you know like shane is uh shane is my hand is uh doing more really poor object work uh my uh my my hand is uh shane's up here okay that's bestie but like Damien, like you're pretty, you're pretty close.

Like you're a solid friend. You're like at the campsite you stop at halfway up the mountain. You're like, this place sucks. And you guys got to keep going. I'm proud to be both of y'all's silver medal. I mean, someone's got to get second. Look at that sports reference. Yeah.

Yeah. Sports is. Yeah, Damien. She loves sports. Sports is like anime, Shane. Look at that sports reference. Yeah. Yeah, sports is, yeah, Damien, she loves sports. Sports is like anime, Shane. I said that, so why don't you watch sports? I do watch sports. What sports do you watch? Darts. Well, you said that confidently.

I watch darts. All the time I watch darts you you we talked who's your favorite darts player dart uh dart dart dart dart dart mall dart brooks dart brooks yes all their first names are Dart. They become that. If they're dedicated to the sport, which we both love. It's like becoming a doctor, you become a Dart. Yes. Okay, who's your favorite football player? On three, one, two, three. Andrew Luck, Terrell Suggs.

Von Miller. Oh, whoa, Jackie's is Von Miller too. Yeah, I love him. That's crazy. Oh yeah? If you really are a Von Miller fan, what's he smell like? Ooh, chestnuts.

Patchouli corn. And patchouli corn. You know what does smell like patchouli sometimes? Olivia. Maybe she would want to be my best friend. Maybe. Guys, let's look. Let's just settle on the fact that want to be my best friend. Maybe. Guys, let's look. Let's just settle on the fact that you're both my best friend.

Let's settle on that. There's no need to fight. Okay. We can settle this later in a different video. All right. But for the time being, let's read today's shoot dude. Okay. And it's a good one. Today's shoot dude comes from Melissa.

Oh, here we go back when i was 18 i was lucky enough to get my very own car to take to college for the first time it was a used honda civic hatchback nice honda civic gang and of course i had to get a vanity plate to show off how cool i was one of my favorite movies is breakfast at Tiffany's. So I decided to get Go Lightly, pronounced Go Lightly, but it was spelled out G-O-L-Y-T-L-Y, because it has to be shortened for a license plate, as my license plate as an homage to Holly Go Lightly, Audrey Hepburn's character. So I excitedly brought my car onto campus for pharmacy school. Unfortunately, and way too late, when I started working part-time

in a pharmacy to help pay for school expenses, I quickly learned that GoLightly, this is G-O-L-Y-T-E-L-Y, GoLightly is a brand of bowel prep for colonoscopy. The shorthand I had used to fit my Audrey Hepburn homage on my license plate almost exactly matched a popular brand of electrolyte compound to make you poop all night long. Of course it was too late. I couldn't justify paying the money to change it, so I spent five years driving around pharmacy school with the name of a gallon-sized poop inducer on the back of my car. Needless to say, I no longer have vanity plates. That's rough.

That is a shoot dude. It's double rough because it is the only environment where people would actually like know that and care. I was going to say that. Yeah, you can't hide that because anywhere else people would be like, I don't know. Wow, that is pretty crazy. It's pretty crazy. I've had that Go Lightly stuff, and it does not taste good.

I actually have as well. Yeah. Whoa, baby. Shane, have you had it? Yeah, Shane. Right? Because Jackie and I are connecting real deep right now. Yeah.

Yeah, I've had Go. Yeah, but that stuff, it comes in a blue bottle. Jackie, I don't think this man has ever had a colonoscopy. Yeah, I don't think he has had a colonoscopy. I don't think he's ever had a gallon of poop inducer at all. Wow. I never thought it would come to this, but I guess. You know what?

You guys are clearly best friends and that's that's fine hey you know what's cool about that shane is like you and i built up a best friendship over a long amount of time and jackie clearly uh like outdid that in like 40 ish minutes well do you notice how i've only been on this call for about five now jackie and i totally undid even yours in like five minutes this is the most powerful friendship anyone's ever seen. Yeah, I mean, yeah. That black girl magic, man, is strong. This is a twist I didn't see coming

and it's honestly a huge bummer for me. Don't cry. It's okay. I know you cried earlier today already when you got your COVID test, but please don't cry. You did remember that. You have such a great memory, Jackie. You did actually, you cried? That's good.

Jackie, you're such a good friend. Damien, I'm really happy you found a best friend like Jackie. Me too. It's about damn time too. Yeah. All right. Well, I want to thank my two former best friends for coming on the podcast today. Anytime. Jackie Yue and Damien Haas. Kevin rigg uh thanks to him for for running this whole thing hopefully he can be my best friend now no no no no no kevin and i are close we went to japan together when you wouldn't don't try that okay wrong tree chipper that's really awkward

shane don't do that shane okay uh okay, this has been great. Oh, and remember to send your shoot dudes to shootdudeatsmosh.com. That's shootdoodatsmosh.com. And thank you guys so much. This has honestly been really funny. You guys are great. Thanks, man.

Jackie's good too. Thanks, besties. All right. Well, look, we're all best friends here. And I think for those listening, to be our best friends as well, it's very easy. You can just rate this pod five stars. You can catch the uncensored audio on Wednesdays on all your podcasting platforms. And you can watch us.

You can watch the video version on Fridays. It is censored but you can see our faces. You can see Jackie's incredible space work and that's it. So thank you best friends and we'll talk later. Yeah, we'll talk about this

in the Honda. We'll talk about this in the Honda. We'll talk about this in the Honda Civic Hatchback, okay? Yeah. With Go Lightly written on the vanity plate. Yeah. We have a lot to talk about offline, guys. We do. It's about to get crazy. I will be sending you a letter

each with a tin can with string attached. Noted. Bye. Bye. string attached noted bye bye