Smosh Mouth - S2: #84 - Damien Finds a New Best Friend

Episode Date: October 14, 2020

Since Shayne recently found a new best friend in Jackie on the pod, Damien needs to find a replacement— and that replacement is Ify! To test their friendship compatibility, Damien and Ify run through the 36 Questions to Fall in Love. Will this new friendship survive these hard-hitting questions?  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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From tires to auto repair, we're always there. Treadexperts.ca Was my childhood happier than most? I think in a lot of ways i was really lucky my parents did whatever they could to make it feel like everything was fine so snoop you know very famously in rolling 20s for a while i wanted to join the gang because they said snoop is at all the parties if you want to know the type of person i am i will make large decisions based on like small perks do you want to know the type of person I am, I will make large decisions based on like small perks. Do you want me to pick the one that I think will be funny or the one that I think will be wholesome? The dealer's choice.

Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die? Man, was this the funny one? Yeah. All right, Ify, this is where it's going to get dope. Final step of this is to stare into each other's eyes for four minutes. Okay. Guten tag, gamers. It's me, Damien Haas.

You know, from Smosh. If you listen to the Smosh cast, you'll know that a few weeks ago, Shane had a podcast called Finding My New Best Friend with Jackie. Both of them are wonderful people. I wish them both the best, but it kind of leaves me in the lurch here. I no longer have a best friend. He's made his decision and that's okay.

So today I'm going to be interviewing to fill the position. And I think we've got a pretty solid candidate. Bring in the next person. I think it says, but there's a dumb bit. Ify Nwadewe. Ify Nwadewe. Yes. I think it says, but there's a dumb bit. Ify and Waterway. It is I.

Yes. With his catchphrase, it is I. It is I. How you doing, man? Good. And yourself, how you feeling? I'm doing just fine. Thank you.

Oh. If y'all don't know Ify, he's been hanging out with Smosh Games for a bit, but we were friends before that. Oh, yeah. We just knew each other through mutual friendos and saw each other at events and such. Yeah. The bond was strong. The bond was strong.

Someone say, something's brewing. Hey. Something's brewing. Hey, that's a strong start. So, Ify, what we're going to be doing today is I want to cut the bull crap. I don't want all that fluff conversation. We're going to be doing the 36 questions to fall in love adjusted for best friendsmanship. We're going to be cycling

through those i'm going to be taking out all the questions that are hard or that i just don't feel like doing okay we're just going to become best friends all right and i do want to put it out there i am open to falling in love as well that's fair i'm not okay but that's okay okay all right well just know for me the doors like that's okay you ever been in those hotels where like it has the room to the other room and so you you have to open your door, and they have to... So mine is open. You unlock yours so you feel like you could get maybe a secret roommate at some point. Yeah, if you're sitting on that bed eating Cheetos.

You know I am. Looking at that door, wondering what's on the other side, just know if you open it, mine's will be open. Dude, you just reminded me of something, because I'm going to immediately sidetrack us. When I was in Japan, you know, in the before times, in the long, long ago, when we didn't have to wear masks. Obviously, the sights, the food's wonderful. But some of my favorite experiences were sitting in a hotel room with the bag of snacks that I had just gotten from 7-Eleven. Oh, yeah. Specifically, Japanese Cheetos.

Best thing I've ever tasted. They're sweet and they're pungent and they're amazing. Oh, man. I, Japanese Cheetos. Best thing I've ever tasted. They're sweet and they're pungent and they're amazing. Oh, man. I'm in. Yeah. No, I have one of the viewers from my Twitch sent me a huge care package of all Japanese snacks. Nani. Yeah.

I ran through all the raw because he was like, what do you like? And I was like, well, I love Japanese curry because Japanese curry is my favorite curry. I've got a couple of boxes. They don't just have boxes, but just like instant ramen noodles, they'll have instant like curry rice. Yes. So he sent me like three different ones. And yeah, you just add hot water, let it sit for five minutes and you stir it. And you have like, oh man, I just realized I have a friend sending me something from Japan.

I should have asked for something more. No, I mean, that's okay. If they ever ever do it again let me know and i will steal from you yeah yeah i'll get you in on the order because i have i have two buddies in japan now uh and so they know i'm a weeb and so all their like anime toys are way cheaper yes here so i was asking i started watching hunter hunter and i was like if you see any hunter hunter stuff let me know and so he said he sent me a gone and uh kill you uh awesome figure and they're great do you do the like the band presto figures the like oh the crane game ones basically oh yeah all of those are great but these ones were like pretty

huge it was it was it was like 50 each so i'm like i don't know how big they are for scale but i imagine they're pretty good yeah finding those in uh i mean i remember being in japan and like buying up a bunch of those and being like i gotta get like i'm bringing a second suitcase home i gotta bring home everything and then um when i got home just for fun there was like one i didn't find so i looked on amazon and it's like 30 free shipping and i'm like oh cool like some. And I'm like, Oh, cool. Like some of them. Yes.

Way cheaper in Japan. Can't get them here. But I was just like, I feel silly. Oh yeah. Yeah. There's so many things you do have to shop around. I mean, I, I'm a big robo guy. So, and there's a series.

You mean like Gundam and stuff like that? Oh yeah. Gundam, Big O, you know, know anything by studio trigger because they love they sure that's uh that's the guren login one right yeah guren login uh kill uh kill a kill uh dna dna pro mayor uh that movie so but i feel like their goal is how can we sneak a mech in this story yeah totally that was pro mayor they're like what if firefighters had mechs uh because they need them exactly so i'm waiting for that figure but i did uh i did pre-order a alloy like uh gore and logon figure and that's cool that's coming out in march and those every time

i get the alloy ones they're a little much of pretty pity because they're usually big like i have a choco soul of chogokin biggo that's about this big oh wow you can raise it up so the missiles come out that's super cool i had to get that off of ebay i've never been a robot guy but like seeing the the collectibles with that i've always been like maybe i could maybe i am this person i don't know i mean you can dip your toes in gundams because you can get a couple of them for cheap and you build it it's fun it's a fun quarantine. See, that's my fear. I don't think I'd be good at building it.

Really? I think as a kid, I tried to do like a model airplane one time and it just failed miserably into a pile of glue and broken promises. Well, that's why Gundams rock because they're built to, they're made to be built without any glue. So they're all snapped together parts. That's cool. And they use like plastics and stuff like that okay and then they have different levels so you start off at hg which is uh just the uh high grade home and garden tv yeah yeah home and garden tv grade and then you

go to uh mg uh you know a metal gear jg uh metal gear fires news. And then there's like Perfect Grade and it gets just wilder from that. I do get a lot of TikToks suggested to me about those. Like what's weird is I've never looked into the Gundam toys whatsoever. And when you were saying that there's like HG and then MG and then Perfect Grade, I knew that. Yeah. Because people just explain it on TikTok unprovoked. They're trying to let you know. Ify, I've got a bunch of questions for you,

I want to get to know you. Um, I say we can just probably spend like a few minutes on this and like trade the same question back and forth. I'll offer it to you. And then, yeah, and I'll tennis it back.

All right. If he, so this is from set one. These are the more chill questions. Given the chance of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest? Oh, anyone in the world. Is it living or dead dead a dead person at your table would be disgusting it'd be very that is true that is

true let's stick with living okay if that's okay i mean yeah we don't have to put that no no i just want to make my tongue yeah yeah and and and you you're gonna have to live with it because now that's the stipulation and i agree i'm I'm fine with that. Okay. I mean, this is the, yeah, this is a hard one because you know, there there's, there's the people that you want to kind of pick their brain and talk to

them, but then it's also like a dinner. So you want to have a good time where you can kind of recollect. Interesting. So I, I'd probably choose Kendrick Lamar because, Oh, cool.

Yeah. We both, you know, we're both Compton boys. And he used to play basketball with my cousin in high school. Really? Centennial.

Yeah. So because of that and because of that connection that we can ease into conversation by having something relatable that we both know, my cousin, and then we'll have a open conversation. He's a little disarmed because, you know, he's like, okay, I don't feel bad about magically appearing at this dinner. Yeah. Yeah. See, what's interesting, and like that actually did tell me a lot about you, not just because you picked Kendrick,

but like the fact that you thought about the fact that it's a dinner, not just like you're getting to meet this person. You're like, well, we're going to be eating a meal. And the fact that you didn't magically be like, we're going to be best friends. It was like, we should have something in common first. That sounds like that could actually happen. Yeah. Because your cousin knows. Yeah. I mean,

he, he, he played with him in high school. We are. They're best friends. He's probably like, who, who?

Oh, I kind of remember that. All right. Let's. I didn't like that dude. Yeah. Yeah. Well,

well, me either. Yeah. You know, take that. All right. Who, who, who would you sit at the dinner table with? We actually talked about this the other day on the Smosh stream.

There's two celebrities that I want to meet more than anyone. My runner up is Snoop because he just seems real neat. And I've always wanted to meet him. But then Jackie Chan. Yeah. Jackie Chan is my answer. So here's a fun fact growing up in L.A. Do you know Jackie Chan?

No. This is your bunch of runner up Snoop. So Snoop, you know, very famously in Rolling 20s. That's the gang he's from. Yes. And he murdered a man. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And then for a while I wanted to join the gang because they said Snoop is at all the parties. No way. If you want to know the type of person I am, I will make large decisions based on small perks. I usually make decisions throughout my day regarding whether or not Snoop is going to be at a location. Yeah, I was going to join a whole ass gang just so I can meet Snoop Dogg.

Damn. I don't know what my exit plan, my exit strategy was if I was just going to be like, all right, guys. I'm all done with gang now. Yeah. You know, I, I, you know, I think the gang life isn't for me. Do we, who do I see about transferring my 401k? I just.

You know, who's doing this? Wow. Yeah. I feel like I got to know you way better through that. Yeah. Damn. All right. Hold up now, Damien.

You never elaborated why Jackie Chan. Yeah. Oh, because Jackie Chan's awesome. No, he was one of the first instances I saw that combined incredible athletic talent and ability with comedy. His action is impressive, but it'll also make you laugh. He's doing both seamlessly.

And he just, he's also a very like unproblematic celebrity so he just seems like a really cool guy and he's just someone i've been a fan of since i was a kid and it's not like i'm you know i've seen all his movies like no but i just every time i see him i'm like all right jackie chan's here you know are you aware that he sings the cantonese and mandarin version of i'll make a man out of you no yeah so that's So for Mulan, I'll make a man of you is Jackie Chan, who sings the Cantonese and Mandarin versions of the song. He can sing? Yeah.

He's, he's trained. He's a singer. Oh my God. What a person. Yeah. What a person. Love me some Jackie Chan too.

So I'm a very hard worker as well. Goodness gracious. So is Snoop. Snoop's been, when you think about how long Snoop's been in the game, you're like, you've been in it a while. He's a years old yeah i mean honestly he's only i think 50 last i checked what yeah that's crazy yeah he's gonna be pickled from all that weed yeah i mean

look if you look it's keeping him keeping him healthy snoop dog snoop dog is 48 years old no are you goddamn kidding me almost 50 almost 48 years 40. 48 years old? Yeah. But see, the thing is, like, he was the kind of celebrity where, like, if you told me he was 48, it's like, okay. Also, if you told me he was 70, I'd be like, yeah. Yeah. Like, he's just got that range. He's eternal. Like, Snoop Dogg in his current form has looked the same for so long, and I think he will continue to do so. But it just is a reminder that, like, yeah, they were all kids when they started rapping.

Like, Dre, W.A., Sno like, yeah, they were all kids when they started rapping, like Dre, Snoop, like they were just kids. So they've just been in the game so long. I've always been a really big fan. So I do, I do want to meet him. That's fact. All right. If he, let's move on to the next question. If you were able to live to the ripe old age of 90 and for the last 60 years of your life, so 30 to 90 retain either the mind of a 30 year old or the body of a 30 year old or the body of a 30 year old which would you want oh body every day body yeah because i'm considering as we're talking about my body at 30 and my body two years ago was at its prime uh you know i'm getting back

to it you know obviously we had to stay inside and i finally the quarantine times is tough oh yeah well i finally found like this social distance gym because it was kind of a boutique gym to begin with and so they only have a certain amount of people who can train in two hour blocks and they tape off everything so you're like six feet apart. Please give me the details. Yeah and so I've been back

at it. I've went in the second time. I think my body's going to break apart though because it's... Nice. Because I'm going because yeah I'm back to power lifting from just kind of doing what I can with the weights, but no easing back in. You just, you're ready, set, go. Yeah. I mean, I had to like lower the weight, so I don't truly be sore, but it feels good to

be back. And I was just talking about this with someone. It feels good to be active around people, even though we're all distant and wearing masks and everything, just being active in a communal kind of space is great. Also, I've always been pro lifting outdoors. I think there's just something about lifting weights outside that just seems so much more intense. I think if we didn't live in Los Angeles, I'd be down for that. But like, every time you breathe, they're like swimming through city punch. And I'm like, I can't, I can't do this. But look, if you go to muscle beach or actually preferably just go to the Venice golds, they have that outdoor space and there's just something about just taking in

fresh air. Maybe it's just because people stank in the gym. Maybe that is also true. Yeah. Maybe that's what i want to go outside well bleep out bleep out the name so nobody doxes me please but um the in yeah is the most well-ventilated gym i've ever been to and it is just it is just marvelous and bone cheap yeah um so i miss that that's the that's the trade-off is this place they know there that it's a quality so it's it's you, it's about a hundred bucks a month, which is like for my old, Jamal's paying 45. So it's an upcharge, but honestly worth it.

Yeah. And then important times, you got to do what you got to do. It's like, also like to not to sound like a meathead, but if you didn't guess, if you couldn't guess, I am a meathead. It's like a serious one. So like they're like, okay, when they a serious one so like they they're like okay when they're giving me the tour they're like all right here's all the bars the bars with the black

strap that's only for dead lifting that bar that one's for squats specifically because it's longer there's so like you had specific bars and then they have these wood blocks specifically for recording yourself while you work out i'm like really yeah i was like that's funny my gym they want the fitness vloggers yeah i mean hey way to adapt yeah that's fantastic i've been um i've been doing uh i'm down a couple pounds this week because i let i let myself go but i'm down a couple pounds now what i've been doing and to get that social aspect is i've been doing ring fit adventure but i've been doing it in my room with my two cats and trying not to step on them.

And I'm like, this is socializing. Yeah, yeah. It's great. You gotta move out the way, you're like, oh, excuse me. Girls, come on. Yeah. I also just bought a weight bench for my house, which is nice.

Ooh, those are good. Those are good. Yeah, they, I mean, now, you know, nature is healing and weights are getting accessible again. So that like you're, everyone should, is gonna be able to do it from home because the adjustable dumbbells are in stock the only thing is like i'm trying to hit four or five wheels again uh four or five wheels for the non-meat heads means 45 45 pound ones yeah

so i'm trying i'm just trying to lift big mostly because of uh natasha augie on instagram you've been inspiring me to get in there shout out to natasha augie yeah shout out to you hope you hope you're watching smosh and you hear uh this you know i see you watching hunter hunter 2 i'll give you one of my figures just wanted to put that out what about you yeah i've also been inspired by Natasha. No, I don't. I actually don't know Natasha. I would say probably body because I don't know. I think the mind still has so much growing to do. I don't want to stay mentally here forever. I don't know.

I want to age naturally there, but I've already experienced things with the body where I'm like, oh man, my knee kind of sucks right now. That's too bad. Like shouldn't have done all that jumping and martial arts as a kid, landing really hard on those knees. And so, yeah, I want to continue learning

and getting wiser. Like this is not my mental peak. I think I'll get better. 100%, I agree with you on that one. That's the other side of it. I think I focused on the body and forgot about the mind. No, that's fair. 30 year old things, which is why I need to-

I'm not quite there yet. Yeah, I am a huge proponent of like all of the conversation, especially because that is kind of one of the things I've been liking about traveling and, you know, and also doing what we do. We travel, go to cons, meet so many people. Sure. We have conversations, podcasts. And I feel like I learn so much just from those conversations and interactions that I think that question's almost a gimme. Like, I'm very curious to the person who wants the 30-year-old mind. Until May 30th, purchase four new Michelin passenger or light truck tires and receive up to $70 by prepaid MasterCard. Conditions apply. Details at Michelin.ca.

Find a Michelin TreadExperts dealer near you at TreadExperts.ca slash locations. From tires to auto repair, we're always there at TreadExperts.ca. If it's a flat or a squeal, a wobble or peel, your tread's worn down or you need a new wheel, wherever you go, you can get it from our tread experts. Toyo's open country family of tires will get you through tough weather in a variety of terrains. Until May 31st, save up to $100 in rebates on select Toyo tires. Find a Toyo tread experts dealer near you at treadexperts.ca slash locations. From tires to auto repair, we're always there at treadexperts dealer near you at TreadExperts.ca slash locations. It sounds like it's formulated in a way that is attempting to be like,

what is more important to you, mind or body? But it sounds like the people who actually do have more of a focus on the mind answer body. Yeah. Because they're like, no, I've got more stuff to do. I'm not done. Whereas body, it's like, oh, those were the days. the days yeah oh yeah um so that's interesting to me yeah once again we're in agreement yes do you want to i'll let you pick one of these set one questions to ask me first if that's cool okay yeah i like that okay we're swapping it up i've gone rogue kevin i'm a renegade okay okay there's one that's gonna be funny and then there's one that's going to be funny.

And then there's one that's going to be wholesome. Oh. Yeah. So I'll let you decide. Do you want me to pick the one that I think will be funny or the one that I think will be wholesome? The dealer's choice. All right. And I also have reserved the right to be like, no, we're going to cut that out.

What's the saddest thing that happened to you in your childhood? I'm like, do you have a secret hunch about how you will die? Secret hunch about how I'll die. Man, was this the funny one? Yeah. Oh, do I have a secret hunch? I've never, I guess I haven't. I mean, I've thought about mortality and stuff like that, but I feel like it could just be something random and stupid.

Yeah. Like, like I go into a surgery and for some reason they're like, the anesthesia just, you just woke up in the middle and we had to kill him because it was weird. Or like, I just don't, I don't know. Yeah. That's it. Ah, Haunt You About Dying. I would love for it to be of ripe old age yeah

and i guess i don't see anything being more likely than anything else yeah it's not like i'm like a smoker and i'm like oh yeah lung cancer like for sure you know iffy do you know how you'll die uh my top three i have a top three list uh you know uh number number

one number one uh yeah number one uh the police. Number two, my house is on fire while I'm playing VR games and I don't notice. Okay, that is funny. Yeah, and number three, probably some type of organ failure from all the weird like fitness drugs that I've done. Not steroids. I feel like when you say drugs, it sounds so. Right.

But there's so many like over-the-counter fitness things that I'm like, this can't possibly be good. Yeah. They're like, they're like, we mix BCAAs with creatine and then ocelot tummy. And you're like ocelot tummy. What's the, why, why do you, would you do that? Well, also it's like, like it's, it's crazy when like my doctor will tell me something and I'll know why. And I was like, no, I don't need to do this. Like I remember one time they were like, oh man, your, your kidney, the creatine levels are high. We want you to see a kidney doctor. I was like, no, I'm taking creatine. Like that's why it's high because I'm not drinking enough water while I'm taking creatine. Thanks for letting me know. Now I'll drink enough water, but that is why you're not supposed to be

able to chew the creatine powder, like gum, making it bolus and yeah i shouldn't know why my body was like i shouldn't have an answer like usually you're not what's wrong and you're like oh what am i doing wrong oh yeah no i know yeah no that's me that's me you've got high blood pressure no i drink uh salt yeah yeah i yeah i'm trying to get vascularity uh i don't want to take um oh's the L-Arginitine? Yeah, that's the one. That's the spice. Yeah, there used to be. Look, we're going to get into meatheads.

And when you realize how wild meatheads are, because there are pre-workout powders I used to take that were discontinued for one reason or another. FDA finally was like, you gotta stop that and and you'll just go on like these forums and people like yeah those were the day super pump 250 was was the was the was the pre-workout like i'd say i remember 2008 2010 like around then it was all about super pump and it was because your forearms would look so unlike so solid no it was tight no but it's like it's like craig always used to take that he was awesome yeah pour one out for craig you can't you can't it used to be it used to be the wild west back in the day oh yeah i had a guy come up to me in the gym one time i was working out and he comes up and has

two giant green pills he's like you want some Hulk pills? He's like, bend over. Also, I'm thinking, and I would love now in my age to be like, oh, I would say no, but no. You tell me these are Hulk pills. I said yes. I would pop them immediately. I was like, why? You get halfway through the word pill.

Yeah, you don't name something after a superhero and don't think I'm about to put it in my body. So Damien, a question I have then. So if you gave some pretty good examples like House on Firewall and VR, what would be the most badass way you'd want to go? Give me that one. Oh, okay.

Turns out Kingdom Hearts, it's a documentary. And so one day I'm just chilling in my home, but then I wake up in the middle of the night and I hear like the, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. I'm like, where is everyone? Darkness and light. And then I go outside

and like there's all these like little critters and I'm like, uh-oh, these aren't supposed to be here. And then I fall down into darkness and I'm like, whoa, this is spooky. And then the Keyblade is like, hey, I'm choosing you. And I'm like, that's pretty neat. And so I'm the the chosen i'm the keyblade's chosen and i have to fight off these little things but then i remember i don't i'm not taking care of myself very well i'm not very flexible so they immediately swarm me and pull me down into the darkness and i'm like no and then

um it's game it's game over oh man yeah that that's a, that's a funny concept that I'm putting in the ideas box, but like a chosen one who just isn't in shape. It just is not ready at all. You think about it, it's like, you're the chosen one and it's never based on physical attributes. It's like, oh no, you're pure of heart. You've just got main character vibes. Yeah.

Every, everyone who's pure of heart doesn't necessarily have a, like a two second 40, you know? That's true. Yeah, you could be pure of heart and you're just not taking care of yourself physically. And that's always, that's the sad thing. Where, like, if that did happen, it'd be like, I would be, I'm not going to be the guy. I'm going to be the NPC that's just like, how can I help you today? Yeah.

Thank you. Come again. And that's like, at best, I run the accessory shop. I'm going to be one of the weirdos in the gym in final fantasy 7 yeah who are not actually using their strength for anything they're just like how many squats can you do and i was like yo there is a worldwide crisis going on it's like yeah no i'm just in there boxing you can buy rocks that let you do literal magic don't you want to do that no squats. Squats. It is a funny dynamic though, because I'm not, I'm not that now, but I used to be very much an exercise fitness guy and also a nerd and which I currently am now,

but it's a very specific combination, but we have three in this room. Oh yeah. You, me and Kevin, we feel that we feel that vibe. Well, it feeds into each other.

I mean, that's how I got serious about, uh, uh, working out was the moment I realized that I can look at my gains in the gym as leveling up. Oh, that's cool.

It was a wrap. It was a wrap. It was, I was just as hooked to working out as I was. Wow. Because that's how I view it now is like, Oh, I'm leveling up.

And I was like, and you know, my body in quarantine is like when you play a counter strike go and you don't do ranked for a while. So you de-rank and you have to rank back up. I feel that very much. No, I used to listen to video game music when I exercised as a teenager.

Like I come from a fitness family. My dad was a bodybuilder. My mom taught aerobics. And so like, but I was, you know, I was not super in shape. I'm just not, I just didn't get those genes necessarily, but I still tried really hard. So like the thing that motivated me was like downloading the final fantasy 7 soundtrack while

i'm running and being like all right now i'm hyped for this and yeah you know these characters can do this thing why can't i you know it's so um oh goodness i guess it does feed into each other yeah let's see here well that we kind of just covered that question name three things you and your partner appear to have in common yeah Yeah. So there you go. Yeah. We knocked, see, we're knocking out questions. We don't need,

we didn't even know it was there. That's the bond. It's strong. Let's go over to step two. Ooh, I think it's time to step this relationship questions up. You guys are vibing really well. So thank you.

Wow. Very strong front runner in this interview process. They're right. What do you value most in a friendship? That's set to, see, it's more serious. That's a good question. What do you value most in a friendship? Honesty and open-mindedness.

I see so many people who have their friend groups and they never get to do things that they really want to do because they feel like their friends aren't into it. And I never get to do things that they really want to do because they feel like their friends aren't into it. And I never, you know, I never want to have any friends like that. Like, I don't mind if you're not into what I have. But if you just kind of immediately dismiss it, that's just never fun. It doesn't.

Because I think the best friend groups are when you have, they're like webs. Because you have like your friend group and then they have the friend groups for the other things, but then they might toss something your way and get you into it. Like you, and you might not know if you like it or not. Like, I think that's how you get stuck in that rut. Like I,

I know family members or like my sister would have a friend group and it just seemed like they would always do the same thing. And she would always complain that like whenever she'd want to do something, you know, different or or or or like extravagant or go, you know, to a better bar or something than the one that they usually go to. They would always like shoot it down and be like, oh, this is you. Yeah. And I was like, yeah, that's that's the like that's the open minded. There's a little judgment there. Yeah.

You don't have that open mindedmindedness to have new experiences. Interesting. Or you're just like, man, I want to try camping. And then your friends are like, all right, yeah, let's do it. Let's try it. That's cool. I feel like without that open-mindedness, you don't have the experiences. But then I also think it's harder for them to help you with maybe if you want to open up to them about like issues or something you're going.

Yeah. And then they. You can't be here for me when I want to try a different bar. Yeah. How are you going to hear from me? Yeah. Yeah. When I'm going through something that might be out of your scope.

Sure. I think that's a pretty relatable answer. I think mine would sort of dip into that. It would be acceptance and like honest support. You know, you'd take my former best friend, Shane. I feel like I can always be who I am around Shane and it's very comfortable. You know, I can be in a bad mood. I can be in a good mood. I can be just jumping off the walls and saying, and it doesn't matter. Like you see that friend in whatever capacity they're in and they can be there for you through that, whether it's easy, whether it's hard or whatever. And then what I mean about the support is like always agreeing with someone

or telling them what they want to hear is not being a good friend. And I've had conversations with people in the past where they've been like, you know, I've, I've been honest and they've been like, you know, you never, you never support me. And I'm like, well, I disagree. I think I'm doing that right now. I don't want to see you get in a bad situation. And so I'm not immediately agreeing with you, but you know, again, former best friend, Shane, he'll, he'll take me aside and be like, Hey, you seem like you've been having a rough week. Like, you know, what's going on. It's been a little, you know, off. So I always appreciate that. I think, I think that is a very important distinction too, because I think there are so many people who are built around people who just agree with everything they do, never challenge them,

never, you know, even if, and, you know, some people might be listening to us and was like, well, you know, I hate confrontation or that's scary. Sometimes it's just simply repeating what they gave you back to them because sometimes it really makes you listen to it differently when you hear your words said back to you in a question. Interesting. Okay. So that's a, that's a tip. That's a friendship tip. That's a friend tip. Friend tip. Friend tip. Friend tip. French dip. French dip. French dip. Everyone's got a pro. Need tires? I've got a pro. Car making a weird sound? I've got a pro. So who's that pro? The pros at Tread Experts. From tires to auto repair, Tread Experts is always there,

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Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. And I think the last thing I would look for is like, so an example is I'm built very different. You want to try a bunch of new things, I want to try a bunch of new things too, but I sort of have to be in like the

mood for it where like, I'm very introverted in like my space. So the other night on Twitter, you just messaged me the scariest question that can ever be messaged to someone like me. It's not like, Hey, are you busy? Like, or Hey, I've got this thing. Would you like to join? You asked, what are you up to right now? And I'm like, do I make it sound like I'm as busy as possible so that if I cancel my thing to do his thing, I'm a hero? And if not, I have a built-in excuse. I was just like, nothing, just playing my games before bed. And you're just like, do you want to hop on this thing?

We're doing a thing. And I was like, okay, I'll do it. But like, it's scary. I'm like, what, do you need help moving right now? Like, what are you about to ask me? I'll do it. But like, it's scary. I'm like, what? Do you need help moving right now? Like, what are you about to ask me? I know, yeah. Yeah. I know.

I'm notorious for that. I'm notorious. I love it. I love it. Like, what are you up right now? What's good? That's negative points. Yeah, yeah.

Say, I want, for me, I want to play this game right now. Yeah. Are you up? Like that. Yeah, yeah. I think that's a good tip you know being four i think both uh both friendshiply and romantically yes like here's here's why i'm texting you at 2 a.m i don't know i yeah it is it is funny because i am also someone

who loves like getting to the point but when it's me i'm like all right you you you're around yeah because also i don't take it personal if someone just never replies. And that's kind of what it does where it's like, you're around the reply. If you, if you want to chat and if not, I won't because I know some, but I know some people do. They're like, I contacted you and you didn't say anything with me. I'm like, oh, it's all right. I have a couple of friends that like most of our conversations are me apologizing for not responding for like a long time. I had a friend like not too long ago who i invited to actually no it was my last birthday party and i hit him up i was like hey you want to come and

like there was no like real response and i was like hey just a reminder it's tonight and he was like well i was kind of mad at you for not you know responding to me last time and i was like oh i didn't even know that's i didn't even know we were fighting yeah but but we're built differently right like he's somebody that very much values that communication for me. It's more casual. And so like, I got it, you know, it's not who I am, but I understood. So, yeah, I know. But the, like, that's a twofer for me. Cause one, my, my first thing is I, one, I don't mind however long you take. I just always assume that you're busy. I never assume that you just have to immediately do it. And the second thing is if I have a problem, I try and confront

it as soon as possible. Like I'm the same way. I don't like sitting on it. I wouldn't wait till you hit me up and then be like, Oh, this I'd be like, Hey man, uh, I, I hit you up. This is kind of, you know, that's something I've had to learn too, because I very much want to fix things right away. And so I'm very much like, Hey, I sorry i just noticed i did this i'm so sorry are you okay but i've had to learn like sometimes people need a minute to be mad and they're allowed to do that yeah 100 and i just have to like accept i'm like they're not gonna hate you forever i know it sucks feeling like it's sitting there yeah but like maybe you just gotta walk away and then you'll talk about it tomorrow yeah you can just be like me and be completely aloof and by the time they calm down uh you're back you're

like hey yeah i was like oh it was day oh yeah i totally forgot i made you mad my bad i'll let you pick a set two questions set two okay set no much spy i'm trying to see these these are all pretty these these are spicy yeah yeah and also you reserve the right to not i mean if you don't know i'm open i'm just trying not to put you on a spot with me i'm an open book do do what you will and then if there's an issue i'll i'll say like hey maybe let's swap it okay how close and warm is your family do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people's how close and warm is my family um it's it as close as it was, but not through lack of, you know, desire to be so. My dad passed when I was 19. And I'd say we were very close before

then. We loved each other a lot, but there was a lot of like very difficult, specific circumstances that we had as well, sort of rocks the family and made things hard for like a long time. So I got, you know, my dad was always my best friend, but I got really close with my mom while we were dealing with all that, you know, difficult stuff, even before my dad passed. And, you know, when he passed, he passed when I was starting my second year of college out here. So my mom ended up having to sort of like pack up the family home by herself or what she could, we abandoned it because we owed more than it was like worth. And, uh, she decided to move out to California, but my sister stayed back in Georgia. She's older. So we're all kind of like spread out now. An extended family,

you know, a lot of them have passed away that I've been close with. So it's, you know, my sister and I can't talk as much as we'd like because we're both just busy full-time adults with a three-hour time difference. She's married and has a whole life there too. And my mom and I can't really see each other right now because of COVID. So like, I love my family so much, but we don't have the ability right now to be a very tight knit unit. And then on top of that was my childhood happier than most. I think in a lot of ways, yeah, I think in a lot of ways I was really lucky. I think my parents did whatever they could to make it feel like everything was fine for me and made me feel taken care of. But I, you know, you can still tell and see when things are rough, but I was always grateful for that. But I think I had a lot of like

weird, specific, unique circumstances that made it a little, a little tougher than probably the average childhood. So yeah, I don't know. I'm being, I'm being vague as hell, but kind of, kind of have to do that. How about you, Ify? Are you close and warm with your family? Actually, one more thing before we move on. There is so much love there, though. I don't want to make it seem like my mom and I love each other so much. My sister and I love each other so much. My mom loves my sister and she loves my mom so much.

It is all there. It is. Don't never question that for a second. I love that energy of let me just add this disclaimer in case my family checks this out. Well, my mom does listen to these. Oh, she does. Hi, mom. Hello.

I love you very much. And we all loved my dad very much and he loved us very much. So now I didn't doubt that for a second because mine is kind of similar. I mean, my family is both tight knit and open and huge at the same time. I mean, you know, my mom, she's from Louisiana. My dad's from Nigeria. And, you know, my mom and dad, they broke up when I was pretty young. They got divorced.

And then my dad remarried. My mom didn't. And so on my mom's side, it's very close because, you know, they're from the south, Louisiana. And so they, you know, even when they lived out here, so they, most of everyone except one of my aunts moved out to California when I was younger and they always lived like just a couple of blocks from each other. And then when my grand grandma passed away after my granddad did, and they like my aunt decided to move back to Louisiana. So then it was kind of just my mom and to move back to Louisiana.

So then it was kind of just my mom and my other aunt out here. It's always been the energy of like when we're all together and we come together, like we're close, we're super tight and all this stuff. But like when we're separated, you know, it's fine. Like my mom, she doesn't need me to call her constantly and all this stuff. When we catch up, we call. It's like really great. We catch up we call it's like really great we catch up on everything that's great other we do but it's never like i would always feel guilty because you know i'd be around all the the transplants and like the improv comedy

community they would talk about how they call their parents every day and every day yeah you know growing up out here my mom's like down the street so you didn't feel that same yeah that need my dad on the other side he is like all about like he if if i could call him every day he would love it okay i just i just picked up my mom's kind of affinity for the phone which is not liking to be on it sure time it's tough but he he's so much closer and i think what's so funny is looking at my mom's upbringing, you know, she grew up in the, you know, small part of Louisiana with a pretty tight knit, close family. And my dad, he's from like a polygamous family in Nigeria. Like my grandma was the youngest wife for my grandfather. So like going back, there's like a ton, like a lot of family. They're like, okay, this is your aunt. This is your aunt from your granddad's

first wife this is and so it's so interesting that in the dynamic like my mom's side is the one that's like oh it's cool but my dad is like always like trying to be in touch and i always you know feel bad because i try and be in touch too but also i'm always doing a million and one well it's hard yeah you've i mean you've got a lot of irons in the fire yeah too many too many uh but still not enough you know that's what it feels like it always feels like too many but not enough my day usually ends at like 10 30 at night and i'm like who is it okay to relax yeah like have i done enough like uh yeah and then that part of your brain is like no you haven't keep going you must grind you must going. You must grind. You must hustle. Grind or die.

Grind or die. There is a lot of love there. And I try and meet everyone where they're at. That's kind of been my new vibe. You know, like I'm, you know, divorced now. And kind of when you're, you know, I feel like you learn so much about yourself going through a breakup. But I think you learn even more when you go through a divorce because there's just so much. It just, you know, holds a little more weight because like you have to do so much paperwork to end things.

And so really like you really can't just disconnect. Yeah. You really have to like sit there and be like, OK, is this something you really want to do? And these are all the things that are going to have to happen in like all this. And why are you doing this? And if you're doing this, what do you really want? What's the dynamic you want? Especially, you know, having a daughter, like what's the home dynamic that you want to build? And that in turn has you do reflect on your childhood and everything. Like, it's so funny. Yeah. I've just been so introspective because of all of that.

Do you find that you reflect on it more because you're responsible for a human life? Yeah. In ways, my upbringing made it easier because it's so easy to put so much extra BS on your relationship with your child from just how you kind of brought up and you realize how much like nothing matters except that relationship like you. And it's very unique to y'all, you know, like it's like there's so many ideas of what makes a perfect, you know, relationship or what makes a good parent. There's so many of these exterior ideas, but really the number one thing you learn as a parent is no one knew what they're doing. No one, there isn't a rule book. Like you can buy these books by these doctors and, you know, psychologists, but in the end, like, because you're raising a human who is an individual with their own identity, their own way of thinking, you'll never have a manual that works. And I think that's why like, you know, short of somebody being outright like a terrible person,

it's important to forgive, you know, any, anything from like, with your parents or something like that, if you're able to, you know, everyone's circumstances are different, but like, damn, I think about if I had a kid right now, I'd be like, where do I start? Like I'm, I'm responsible for this child's life. And I, you know, every experience is going to affect them somehow. Their brain is picking up what is normal now. What is, what is not, I feel like, Oh yeah, it really does. Like you'll never be, that question is going to be, that question is never going to change because it is, because you,

no one's going to give you that answer. Like you, no matter, even, even if you think like get to a point where you think you have the answers, the moment you're holding that child, it changes. But the one thing we, I think that's a constant that we do know about, you know, kids is that, you know, the relationship with the parent of the opposite sex, if your child, you know, grows up to have a cishet, you know, relationship, that's kind of going to influence them. So I so that kind of is something that's always on my mind with how I interact with my daughter. Like, I don't I don't yell at her because I don't want her to ever think it's OK for men to yell at her. I got it. I don't. And then even outside of romantic relationships, I don't if I give her a rule, I give her an explanation because I never want her to blindly follows. Because I said so. Yeah.

And, you know, there's nothing against our parents doing that, but I don't I, you know, seeing where we are now, you know, as a country and just everything. I think it's very important to build that critical thinking aspect. Yeah, very much so. And because you have people who don't critical think, but they just feel it being wrong. So you have people pushing against, like, I feel like there's two sides to it. You have people who just blindly follow, you have people who blindly go against things just because they know it's wrong, but you never have anyone where you do, but like you, you, the sweet spot is like knowing why. Like, if you don't want to obey a rule, you should be able to say why. Sure.

And that's that's kind of the child I'm trying to build. But that's beautiful. Answer the second half of this question, because I've drawn on long enough. I think it was happier than most. I was I, you know, had the FBI hand me the catch me having cyber sex. They were pretty understandable. They never. And I think that's why I'm actually not caught up to date on that one.

You'll know you'll you'll know where to find it. You know, if you want to see the full explained version type if the FBI cyber sex, you'll find a video, me explain it. But for the gist, yeah, when I was like about 14, I went on a homework help site. It was a find your internet girlfriend or boyfriend thread. I found my internet girlfriend and we would have cyber sex every night. And then she disappeared one time. An FBI agent showed up at my door, said that the language I was using was advanced for my age. And he had to come and confirm that I was a child and not an adult. And all of the chat logs he handed to my parents, they read the chat logs. Oh, no.

And, yeah. And, like, their kind of reaction to that was they kind of laughed at me. I was banned from the internet for a little bit but uh but at the end of the day they didn't like make me feel weird about it like you know sure both my parents have always been very open about you know sex and sexual things and i think that's why it's so funny that i'm just also so open on the tl because i feel like a lot of the like when you really like sit down and without going into detail and hearing all the weird things kids were doing because they were there was no sex ed and they were told to practice abstinence and all the other things. I was like, you should have just told them what the thing. Yeah, because they're doing way weirder stuff.

It is a bit of a compliment that they're like, we're going to look into you because you've got really good vocabulary. That's exactly what it's about. You're using some SAT words in that, and I'm going to make sure you're working. I know. All right. See? So that's why you know I'm a good writer. Because the FBI had to confirm.

He's talking like a man. He's talking like a man in these chats. I have one for you two that I think would be really fun for the last one for you guys to do because we're running low on time. So for each of you make three true we statements. The we fit was for instance, we are both in this room feeling

this or we both do this or we both do this and this is going to be hard because you guys got to think about what you know about each other up to this point, but this is going to prove your friendships. both have strong principles but are not afraid to challenge them or not afraid to confront it when challenged i agree being hard agree see kevin you said this behind is the easiest thing i've ever fucking done we both enjoy having fulfilling relationships with people that might warm our hearts i would agree with that okay we both appreciate a good story and actually highly value a good story

especially when told through new and unconventional ways oh yeah yes I highly agree mmm this is this I'm gonna just take it I'm gonna take the the easy freebie because we have to and I think you know this is a known fact about us we both appreciate engaging video games with deep lore that can help us escape the world. I agree. That's more or less what I was sort of talking about with the engaging stories. Yeah. Hell yeah.

That's perfect. Because we were talking about Hades before this. Yeah. Oh yeah. Okay. Let's see here. We both value making others happy and have probably had to learn to focus on ourselves a little bit more sometimes oh yeah is that right yeah that's solid i mean that was kind of the realm of what i was

gonna say which is uh we both get genuine joy and fulfillment from making others laugh ify what can i say You've got the job. Oh, well, we did it. We did it. I'll see you later, Shane. Pack up your bag. Oh, I thought you called me, Shane. I was like, no, no, no, no.

Did you not know what this interview was? No, I was talking to Shane to get him out of here. Get out of here. Also, let's hang out later. Now, Damien, my final interjection for this one is at the bottom of that list, there is a final thing you have to do alright ify this is

where it's gonna get dope and our podcast listeners as opposed to watchers are gonna have just a just a grand old time oh yeah oh I'm so excited for them the most the final step of this is to stare into each other's eyes for four minutes

four minutes is so much longer than you think. And that's four minutes of silence. Okay. And I mean, I'm going to be here. So for our listeners, I'll give a little bit of like what's happening. I'm not going to give complete play by play. Are you guys ready? I've got four minutes set on the phone.

Okay. So when you're ready, I will start it. All right. I'm ready. Look each other in the eyes. And here we go. Four minutes. This is how you guys become friends starting now.

Okay. Can we blink? You may blink. Okay. So right now they're both looking closely at each other's eyes. They're nodding their heads. They're trying really hard,. They're trying really hard. And they're doing so well.

Yes. Yes. You can see, you can feel their souls connecting. There's an aura in the room. For the listeners, we are at one minute so far. Oh, if he has propped his hand on his chin. Damien just blinked for the first time. The silence is both deafening and permeating. And now for the listeners.

We are just about halfway through this. Guys, this is beautiful you can see their friendship just building off of this You can feel the presence. If he rubs his chin so deep in thought, Damien might actually be dead. It's hard to tell. And ladies and gentlemen, we have one minute left. One minute of pure friendship. Who will these two emerge as afterwards? Who will they become?

Will they be stronger? Will they be friends? and here we go we are approaching our 10 second mark 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 the four minutes is up you two wow you're my best friend now yeah yeah i feel it i feel the energy four, three, two, one. The four minutes is up you two. Wow. You're my best friend now. Yeah, yeah, I feel it. I feel the energy. That was nice.

Yeah, yeah. Imagine if we transferred bodies after that. What? But I'm- You know what's funny is, midway through your glasses, they're very like perfectly round. And I saw, and they've got like a strong outline.

So with your eyeball, like smack in the middle of it, I sort of just saw it as like a singular, like a beholder from D&D. It was just like, woo, like in my mind. And also becoming friends. Oh yeah. I know it was interesting. This is when I realized you can't look into both eyes

at the same time. That's true. And I didn't flick back and forth. I didn't do the Sally Fields, like if you ever see her in a scene with a closeup, she's just like constantly flicking back and forth. Look, I'm trying to see both of them.

No, can't do it. I really enjoyed it. I, I think I, I don't know. I think the Smosh audience knows a lot about me already. So I was more interested in getting to know you and learning about you.

And I guess that's not so fair to you. Cause I didn't, you know, but I, I'm glad that we got to focus on a lot of, cause I learned about you and that that felt really nice and it's it's more than the like so when you siblings it's like how close and warm is your family so um I like that it's not the first time I've done those questions before um and I I dig it I think it's a cool thing to do if anyone's interested in uh looking those up it's 36 questions to fall in love. But I think it was great.

How did you feel? Yeah, I felt good. I agree with you. It was, those are more rich questions than you would normally have with small talk. Yeah. I'm definitely going to have to steal that for dating. No, totally. But I'm going to just sprinkle them in out of order so they can't, so they won't be on

the menu. You should just lead with like, do you wanna just like look at each other for like four minutes? Really know what we're getting into here. Yeah, I just got to stare, just kind of stare. She's like texting her friend. I mean, like, please call me and say that it's an emergency

and you have to go. Hey, you're looking down at your phone and I'm to my eyes. No, I'm not texting you. Wellonsense. I'm not talking to you. Well, that was delightful, Ify. Thanks for doing that. We do have one more question or one more segment, and that's called Shoot, Dude. Shoot, Dude. Shoot, Dude. Shoot, Dude.

Shoot, Dude. Shoot, Dude. Shoot, Dude. Shoot, Dude. Shoot, Dude. Shoot, Dude. Shoot, Dude. Okay, so we just played the jingle. So this is called Shoot, Dude. Shoot, shoot, shoot, dude. Shoot, dude. Okay, so we just played the jingle.

So this is called Shoot, Dude, Ify. For those of you at home that don't know and you're new to this, thanks so much for being here. We appreciate you. So a shoot, dude is a moment where it's sort of like an, oh, man, like it's a cringe, like I can't believe that happened moment. Yeah. And so we're just going to read this out because they're submitted by viewers. And if you want to submit your own, it's shootdood at smosh.com. That's S-H-O-O-T-D-O-O-D at smosh.com. And I'm usually the curmudgeon.

I'm usually like, this sounds like BS. You got this off of Wattpad. But let's see here. So this one comes to us from Crystal. All right, Crystal. Let's see. I tend to speak quickly when I'm excited and or busy, which means that I don't always get what I mean to say outright. A few years ago, I was working retail during the holiday season

and was pretty busy at the register. I was checking out a couple who happened to be two women. And once the transaction was over, I meant to say, have a great day, guys. But it came out as have a great gay. They just laughed out, laughed and laughed and said we will what do you think if he's that a shoot dude moment uh i mean i think you brightened up their day with that mistake i kind of feel like that too the fact that they were like we will is just like we see what

happened yeah and it's funny yeah i don't know if that for me is a shoot, dude. Yeah, that's not a shoot, dude. That's a, you brightened up their day, you know. You did okay. You did okay. Now, if your mindset is anything like mine, that's going to be the thing that like at 3.30 in the morning, you just sit bolt upright and you're like, no, the thing I said in fourth grade. Yeah. That happens all the time.

Oh, yeah. I will be trying to go to sleep and think of the reason that it didn't work out between me and my high school girlfriend and things I could have done better. Oh man. It's like, oh shoot. I did, I did mess up.

It was my fault. It was my fault. Have you guys ever done that before? Like them where you mix up your words and you say something that you completely didn't mean to say. Totally. All the time. I talk super fast.

So like anytime, especially if I'm getting excited and the excitement rises. No, so I definitely can relate. I think my problem comes from not necessarily the thing happening because we can all relate to that. That's happened.

You should be like, I'm so sorry. I meant to say this. Anyway, I'm the one that goes like, I'm so sorry. I meant to say this. And not because it would have been weird if I said that because, and it's not because you're like this.

I meant, ah, because it's, and I like over explain it. And then I pause too much. It just, that's the moment. That's the problem. Yeah, they wouldn't have said we will, if it was you. They'd be like, where's your manager? Yeah, be like, we will be talking to corporate about how to ruin your life.

Ify, this has been lovely. If people are just like, man, I need some more Ify in my life. Where on the gosh dang earth can they find you oh well you could just go to iffy wadiway on twitter and instagram and some of you smoshers is that is that what we'll call the audience smoshers smoshites is that is that canon sure why not some of you smoshers have slid into my chat on uh on on twitch and that's fb so come see you know yeah we raised money this past week for the bail project i was shooting for 5 000 unsure if i could do that and we raised 12 000 good lord man congratulations that's awesome actually 12 000 8 12 000 12 000 and 8 dollars

and 69 cents lol because that's what Chet wanted. Yeah. I remember I did a, I too did a charity for the bail project. Not recently. It was like, it was maybe a couple, a few months ago.

Um, and I got plenty of, uh, four 20 donations and $6 and 90 cents. Oh yeah. I'm like, y'all are hilarious. Keep up the good work.

Thank you. There were, there were people doing math to try and get the cents to line up. Because at first, before we ended it, it was like at $11,969.69. But someone wanted to make it a clear cut. $12,000 did it. And then after the stream, someone went and added. $69.

That's hilarious. Well, thanks so much, Evie. I appreciate your time. I feel like I legitimately feel closer to you now. Yeah, I know. Same. And thanks so much, y'all. This has been a Smoshcast.

Hey, you know, you can listen to us wherever you choose to listen to a podcast. But when you do, please rate us five stars. That would be very helpful. It helps us get the podcast out to others and have them see and enjoy this. Thanks so much for sticking around. And you have a good day. You silly, silly. Big old smosh, silly.

Yeah, goodbye. Specifically to Shane. Goodbye, Shane. Out of Damien's life. Hey, man, this has been fun. But you've been recast. See ya. Bye.

All if you reboot. Bye. All if you reboot.