Smosh Mouth - S2: #87 - The Truth About Eat It or Yeet It

Episode Date: November 4, 2020

You may think you know him from the iconic Garrett cam, but this week, Courtney and Shayne are sitting down with Mr. Malic Acid himself to reveal the truth about Eat It or Yeet It and react to your wild assumptions about the man behind the madness. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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My worst experience on that show is still the peanut butter cups filled with Cambodian fish paste. Yes. And of course, everyone was like, oh, you're just going to take one? Take three. Take one. Take three. And oh my God. I remember like one time, you know, writing about like somebody down the hall in my dorm having the most annoying laugh and he read it. That was like the first time that I realized like, oh, this is... You got cancelled.

I got cancelled. In that hallway, you got cancelled. I have one more. I have an assumption of Garrett. We know Garrett worked on Wall Street. My assumption of Garrett is that he also occupied Wall Street. How's it going?

Who? Hi. It's Courtney. Hi, it's Courtney. Hi, it's Courtney. It's Courtney. It's Courtney. It is me.

I am Courtney. Hi, it's me. I don't think that's Courtney. I don't think that's Courtney either. It's me. You guys both look that's Courtney. I don't think that's Courtney either. It's me. You guys both look like you're from Portland. Do I? Yeah, actually.

Yeah. No, with the cardigan, the oversized cardigan. Is this good ASMR? Sweater sleeve. This is definitely an Oregon. Didn't you buy that? I got this at, no, I got this at the flea market, Melrose Flea Market. This is like my favorite shirt.

Doesn't it have a tag on it? It just says made by Susan. It's not even a company. It's just handmade from the 1960s. I want that shirt. You hit me. Okay, give me that shirt. Give me that shirt, please.

Give me that. I used to be declared, like people used to call me a hipster in high school before I even considered, I couldn't consider myself because I always found music that nobody listened to and like my style wasn't hipster, but it was like kind of weird. And I had like a weird old car. So they were like, you're a hipster. And I was like, what? No, I'm not. I think everyone's a hipster about something. Yeah.

Everyone has something that they love so much that they know about stuff that nobody knows about. I think being a hipster is just being passionate about something. That's the same with a nerd. Yeah. I love hipsters who make coffee or food. Yeah, coffee nerd. Hipster is literally a coffee music nerd. That's all that is.

A different kind of nerd about a different type of aesthetic or different things. That's cool. I never really thought about it that way. But yeah. Oh, anyway, I'm just going to intro this podcast now. That was really insightful, guys. Thank you. That was HipsterCast.

Yeah. HipsterCast. Why hipsters are great. Why hipsters are great. So welcome to another episode of the SmoshCast. Tizai, the host of this episode. Corny. I'm here today with Shane Topp and none other than the mastermind behind the foods of

eatery it's himself garrett why am i blanking on your last name garrett milk bean palm i'm not milk bean that's not no that's not a name for me i wasn't i was not there just a little office inside joke for you yeah so just because you guys are as filled in on this as I am. I went on vacation. I think this was 2019. I went on vacation. I returned and all I heard that suddenly people were talking about milk bean. And I was like, what, what is it?

There was a, we had an entire Slack channel dedicated to it. It was referenced constantly. People were fed up by people. People either hated Milk Bean or they loved Milk Bean. Yeah. I don't know what it is. I still don't know what it is. Was it with someone?

Someone hopped onto your computer and slapped me. Did Monica? Monica. And then she changed your name and profile picture to Milk Bean, right? Or something?

Yes. Like every one of Monica and my bits, it was very divisive. People, a lot of people hated it. Some people loved it. Everyone, then everyone,

because everyone was like, ha ha, wait, your name is, who's Milkbean? You're Milkbean? And then everybody started chanting their name to Milkbean. Somebody even made a pottery Milkbean. A Milkbean, and then they made it

like a little emote in the Slack for Milkbean. We don't mess around with our inside jokes at the office. I will say, I feel like most inside jokes or most pranks like that are led by Monica. Yeah, I agree.

Essentially, it's like, what is milk bean? It's nothing. It is truly nothing. Exactly, and really all it is is just calling somebody a nothing name and that person saying no. We should put milk bean we should put milk bean in the show and eat it or eat it no you don't oh you should make a milk beans

that actually milk beans would be a very that's disgusting hey you know what you should do that but speaking of the show you guys i mean shane kind of birthed the idea of either eat it and then garrett kind of took on the responsibility of taking It or Eat It. Yes. And then Garrett kind of took on the responsibility of taking care of and curating and cooking a lot of the dishes. You're the head lead producer on it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

It used to be Finnerky. Finnerky? Finnerky? Monica. Finnerty and Monica and I used to kind of collaborate and make the dishes. Now it's Sarah and I. I choose most of the dishes that go in.

I create a lot of them, not all of them. And I cook the majority of them. And you know, obviously we have the Garrett cam on Eat It or Yeet It where you can see Garrett's reaction. I don't want, I don't want. But I think it's important to remember, like you have to test taste a lot of the foods before they're out there.

So you've already been punished before the show starts. Yeah. I don't eat them all right now. Right. Sarah will like try a lot. Well, there's probably a lot. Somebody tries. All of them.

Yes. Which makes sense. And sometimes Lisa joins in. Oh, wow. Sometimes Lisa eats. Wow, that's crazy. It seems like a fun experience. Do you want to join?

No. I would never want to. I have a really weird thing with food. Like, I hate tasting bad foods. I will try something that's super spicy, like we have in the past. But, like, I just have a weird thing with, like, it will kill my appetite for several hours. I think everybody has things that they're just like, that's the thing that like, it's impossible for me to be in a good mood

and be entertaining while I do that thing. And I think that's okay. You know, one I realized was for me, a couple years ago, we did a thing on Smosh Games where Damien and I wore like dog shock collars. Oh my God, yeah. And I remember going in being like, this will be fine. And they had it on the lowest

settings and I got shocked and I was just like, I can't, I can't do this. I being like, this will be fine. And they had on the lowest settings and I got shocked and I was just like, I can't, I can't do this. I was like, this is not for me. I can't find this funny. Like there's a lot of things that I will do that I'm like, yeah, I'll do that. I'll eat gross foods. Like I can, I can get through that.

That was one of those things where I was like, wow, electricity, can't do it. Cannot do it. It's just not fun. And that's all right. Everybody has like a thing. Literally, literally everybody has a thing that they're like, I'm not willing to do that. They have a line, like a somewhere. Yeah, and it's different for fun uh and that's all right everybody has like a thing literally literally everybody has a thing that they're like i'm not willing to have a line like a somewhere yeah and it's different for everybody and that works out so we can kind of mix and match like like with

eat it like you host it like that that's worked out very well yeah i i well because i originally opted out i actually my plan wasn't even to host it because when you guys were first coming up with the idea it was really cool you guys would like sit in the office for hours and just try and like you knew you had the bare bones of a good idea that was originally you that was called face jam i feel like we've talked about it before but then you guys spent so much time just like okay this will work but we just need to figure out exactly how it will go and in the beginning like when you guys talked about like it'll be worse you have to jam the entire food in your face as quickly as you could yeah and like my instinct was like oh that's gonna get like if i do that like there's so many creeps and weirdos

on the internet they're gonna like for sure capitalize on that for sure so i was just like no i just i don't want to do it like i'm just not gonna do food step and then next thing i knew when they were planning the shoot's like okay so yeah she's hosting i was like what oh okay and it has been really fun this is my first time like hosting something by myself because before that it was won't eat your show or sleep over and it's like it's kind of it's not so much like hosting where like i'm the main person talking because it's definitely like it's very much focused on you guys trying the dishes but i will say i would i on eat it or yeet. I would prefer to be in the position I'm in than yours. Cause you have to kind of hold the yeet bucket sometime.

And that, that's awful. Like that. I can't handle. Oh my God. Cause especially if Keith is on Keith, Keith, especially in the beginning,

he lets it go, man. He will, he will yeet. He will. Yeah. It's rough. He's one of my favorite people to have on.

He's a, he's a true showman. Yes of my favorite people to have on he he's a he's a true showman yes people always bring a hundred percent energy but let's put the attention back on garrett guys so the whole reason for this podcast is to talk about eat it or eat of course but with garrett here we put on our instagram story i don't know if we put anywhere else but we put a thing to submit assumptions about Garrett. So we think it's time for you guys to get to know him a little bit more. You got to see him do like a weird Orbeez joke on the China to Left Crew gauntlet.

So that one, I lost it. That one was really funny. But yeah, so we have a bunch of fans submitted. What? I also played the guy hunting down the horny boys. Yeah, horny boys. You know, you have been in Smosh content quite a bit. You were the principal in

every substitute ever. You played the principal. And you were a teacher in my e-boy sketch. You've been all over the place. Just here and there. You've been all over the place. And here and there. But I will say, I do want to say, my brother who watches all Smosh content, he watches Smosh games, he watches Smosh Pit,

watches Smosh, the sketch channel, he watches Smosh Pit, watches Smosh, it's the sketch channel, he listens to the podcast, everything. His absolute favorite thing is the Garrett game. It's his favorite thing on all of Smosh.

More than his own brother. Wow. Well, that's not surprising. I mean, it's just, it's kind of ripped from a Japanese television where they just have people watching.

Oh, yeah. Sure. That's right. It's so entertaining. Or like Terrace House. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. Imagine if Terrace House, they cut back to one guy and he just didn't say anything. He was just like,

wow. So you guys submitted a ton of your own assumptions about Garrett, which we will now be reading off and either confirming or denying and just talking about this stuff. Are you ready, Garrett? We have a little spotlight.

I'm so excited. People assume about you. I know, this is what I'm curious. You've been a man of mystery, but no longer. I like this topic, assumptions about people. Bear it all. It's gonna be great. All right, first assumption.

He doesn't wear shoes. I do wear shoes. You wear shoes? What shoes are you wearing right now? You actually wear really cool shoes. Thank you. You wear really like wear shoes. I do wear shoes. You wear shoes? What shoes are you wearing right now? You actually wear really cool shoes. Thank you. You wear really like unique shoes. Are you wearing boots?

Prove it for the podcast. Okay. For the YouTube version. I figured this was just a podcast and I didn't wear my cool shoes today. I just wore. Those are cool. I like those a lot. So you always wear.

You are so poorly dressed. Garrett has like an REI aesthetic. Yeah. Like you dress like you You are so Portland. Garrett has like an REI aesthetic. Yeah. Like you dress like, like you could go hiking at any time. You're like if Zach Galifianakis fell into an REI. Yeah. I mean that in the best way.

And gained some height. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nature will do that to you. These are Tevas. Okay, yeah. Yeah. So literally like the sandals. They almost look like hiking shoes

with like a brown accent on them. They're really nice. But you do always have like an outdoorsy aesthetic. Yeah, I do. Even when it's like really hot out in the middle of summer, you're still wearing like a button up long sleeve. I'm like, how do you do it, man?

Well, I used to work on Wall Street and there I would even come to work dressed in like Patagonia and like- Wow. Like I was about to hike, but it was aspirational because I didn't want to be there. I wanted to, yeah.

I can't imagine you on Wall Street. You are the most on Wall Street person I've ever known. Like all these like business sharks in suits and all of a sudden Garrett's there like, just like, yeah, I don't, I don't know. I guess I'll invest in this. Oh, I wasn't doing that. No. What, wait, I, just like, yeah, I don't, I don't know. I guess I'll invest in this. Oh, I wasn't doing that. No.

What, wait, I actually just really, sorry. Like you're on Wall Street. Like what, what exactly do you do? I don't know anything about Wall Street. It's one of those things that I pretend to know about. I don't know crap about stocks or business, that side of business. I don't know crap about stocks or business. That side of business, I don't know anything about. I was an assistant to a hedge fund manager for a large family.

So it was like a family money. And I just did research on the hedge funds and all the other funds we were invested in. A lot of places don't want you to find out what they're investing in. So they file, but they have to file it. So they file it under like different names. So a lot of it was like finding out that, making reports for the rest of the company. So fake.

Yeah, so fake. It's so weird. Everybody lies. What an interesting job. How did you get here? How did I get here? Wait, like was there a bunch of connection dots from there to here?

Like you were at some point in New york on wall street yes working there yes and now you're working at smosh doing the garrett like that you didn't hop from that to this right i did not okay how old were you in wall street like where does that start uh that was in my late 20s and i also want to say this uh for people who may not know garrett at some point has mentioned having been in every country i've ever heard of garrett will have a story be like yeah that reminds me of the time where i was in japan or like there was something where you're like yeah that reminds me of the time that i was in i think you were saying some african country i was like what the hell like you've been everywhere i really i because i hate talking about it i been everywhere i really i because i hate talking about

it i don't know i well because i hate talking about how cool no because i i'm always like oh i don't want to be that guy that like just talks about his travels all the time well you don't nobody literally knows anything about it okay good these are like over the course of several years i've heard a couple of these stories but every every time I hear it, you say like very briefly like, yeah, that's like when I was in Japan. I was like, oh, you were. Okay. Like you were also there at some point. How many countries have you been to?

I think last I counted, it was like 26 or 27. Dude. Insane. There are 194, 5, 6. I mean, there's a lot. But is this a thing where like every year you go on a trip or were there periods of your life where you were traveling all over the world? Both. I had two stretches where I would travel for a year-ish.

And then for a long stretch, I made it a goal to go to a new country every year. That's cool. That's so cool. Yeah, it was great that's awesome I eventually broke that because I was like going to go to a country just to like check a box I was like okay it's just crazy like that's no like the majority of people will never be able to say that in their lifetime it's very cool what what what would be your favorite country you've ever visited I I can give you a few.

That's fine. What are just some that come to mind? Iceland. I love Iceland. I've been there a few times and I just love the lifestyle of just soaking. Cool. It's just the chillest, literally the chillest place. I loved Lebanon.

Lebanon. Lebanon was great. That's a small country in Northern Africa? It's just about Israel. Okay, cool. Oh, okay, okay. Middle East. I've heard the food. I'm very bad at geography.

Legendary. That's okay. The food was incredible. It was one of the, I really, one of the main things I care about is food. Food. Which is great,

considering you're the eater, ye master. I know. Shall I move on to another assumption? Yes, sorry, sure. That's okay. All right, the next one. He smells of timber wood or like a cold burger. Timber wood.

Do you wear cologne? No, but I used to like- Axe? No, I used to take pine needles and just kind of rub them over his body. Actually, yes. Really? Yes.

Actually, I feel like that his body. Actually, yes. Really? Yes. That actually, I feel like that would work. Probably. Well, what I would do is I lived in LA before a while ago and I was single so before on dates

I would go to the neighbor's house, pick some lavender and rub it. Oh, you sound so cute. That actually works. That totally works. Yeah.

It makes sense. Yeah. But I don't smell like burger. Eliminate the middleman. Because I don't eat meat. I will say, I've said it before and I'll say it again.

Everyone, nobody smells bad at Smosh. No. Yeah. Either they smell incredible or like there's no smell. Yeah.

I have a bad sense of smell. So I can't, I usually can't tell if someone smells like good unless they're wearing a ton of cologne, which is probably a bad thing at that point. But I don't I usually can't tell someone smells like good unless they're wearing a ton of cologne which is probably a bad thing at that point

but I don't I've never felt at any point being like oh someone smells bad here everyone it's fine I have a very keen

sense of smell and yeah I've never noticed a scent from you I don't like outwardly go out of my way to smell people but like there are people

I can pick out that like Keith smells really good Shane your cologne smells really good. Shane, your cologne smells really good. Olivia will wear a nice perfume sometimes. But that's also, we're constantly right next to each other. All right, next one.

He got a cool dog because he is a cool guy. Do you have one dog or do you have two dogs? I have one dog. You have one dog? My housemates have another dog. Okay. And you got him during quarantine? I did in June. We were putting it off, putting it off.

Because we were like, oh, quarantine's only going to be two weeks. Yeah. Oh, quarantine's only going to be a month. Oh, quarantine's only going to be six weeks. And then it was just so hard to find a dog in LA. Really? Yeah. They were all adopted already.

Well, that's great. That's great. Exactly. That's a good great. A lot of people. That's great. Exactly. That's a good thing to be out of stock on. I know. Your dog is both, your dog is two years old? One to two. Well, your dog is two years old, but is 50 years old.

I know, he looks like an old man. It's so great. I know. That's the perfect dog. I would love a dog like that because I love old dogs. Yeah. And so to have an old dog for 15 years, that's a great deal. I love them so much.

I miss them right now. I wish I could get a dog. I just, my place is so small. It's hard. If I wasn't, you know, I'm dating somebody and so we split the dog and it's great. Totally. Totally. I think it's much easier with dogs when there's two people helping out.

But, you know, I've done the single dog mom life. It's not impossible. Okay, I'm going to move. A jerk at the first meeting, then lovable care bear once you know him. What was your first impression of Garrett? I don't think Garrett's ever. Garrett's definitely never a jerk. Everybody gets stressed out.

Everybody has their moments of tension. But I just remember you're very quiet at first. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's normal. I feel like people either come in at a zero or 100 when you first meet them. I'm usually at a zero. So I feel like I'm the opposite. I'm nice at first, but then I'd be like, oh.

Yeah, it's tough to remember. I don't remember our first meeting because i think back at defy things were just so chaotic and there was a lot of people coming in and out yeah the way it usually goes sorry i don't mean that no no no what the where we were at the five you just kind of started seeing new faces one day yeah it's you didn't get introductions yeah just be like here yeah we're just filming and oh there's a new sound guy. Like you just kind of like that. And you'd get to know everyone. Like it was always good, but it was so constant there.

You worked your way up. Yeah, it was my first job with Smosh. I was a PA on Business Boy. I think it was Business Boy. Oh wow, that's forever ago. Yeah, at the mansion in Malibu where it was like Noah and then a guy with like a big, I think Anthony was wearing like a big business emoji head or something. I don't remember that.

I can't remember that sketch. I wasn't there for that. I wasn't there. I wasn't in that sketch. I remember that half so. So, man, back when we would do sketches around emojis. Yes. Yes.

That was. Oh, yeah. Those were weird. A lot of them. Sexual sun. Molester moon. Oh, yeah. Those were weird. A lot of them. Sexual Sun. Molester Moon. Yeah. Boy.

We, different angles back then on sketches. Yeah. And for the viewers or the people listening, what is your position now? Production manager. Hey, you went to PA, PM. PM. Yep. Nice.

I was PA, AP, P, PM. Nice. Nice. That's awesome. But you held on to that P. I never let go of that P. I was P-A-A-P-P-P-M. Nice. Nice. That's awesome. But you held on to that P. I never let go of that P. Never let the P go. Okay, anyway, moving on.

Hi, Courtney. Yes. What's the next one? So, next assumption. He actually secretly loves to see everyone suffer on Eat It or Yeet It. Is that a secret? I don't think it's a secret. I think you're pretty open about enjoying our suffering.

And not just on Eat It or Eat It. The spicy chocolates, remember that? Was that you? Was that your making? Remember when we had those spicy chocolates and we didn't realize just how spicy they were? That was me. That was Garrett. Yes.

So, guilty or innocent? That was spicy Mario Party? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, man. Garrett struck. Look, I love it up until a point, and then it just drops immediately. Because of our attacking you? No.

No, because of when it becomes like, oh, this is legitimate pain. Well, that's probably like when Olivia had the malic acid peanuts. That was fine. when Olivia had the malic acid peanuts? That was fine. That's not legitimate pain. True. No, it probably is. For me, the thing that crossed the line that I felt really bad about was Jackie

eating the bug mud. Oh yeah. Well, Jackie- She was new still. Yeah, so in our newer ish iteration where we have the wheel which i love because there's an option to not have to eat anything but jackie got absolutely ruined she got three yeah and they were all bad and she had to eat full bugs. Yes. That was, I mean, I don't know, but that was, I think she actually threw up. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

I would say the most legitimate eats do happen off camera. We don't want to show that. Well, I think that was the only time somebody actually did. I think they threw up. Was it? Yeah. On eat it or yeet it. Yeah.

I guess I'm thinking of Noah's show, Put It In My Mouth, from back in the day. Yeah. Because I, yeah, I empt Mouth from back in the day. Because I, yeah, I emptied my entire stomach on the finale. That was crazy. I remember like

I threw up and then I, there's this still that I have where I'm sobbing after I threw up and Keith and Noah were just laughing at me.

We had to combine all the worst ingredients over the course of the show and make them a smoothie. Ranch soda. Crickets. Crickets. During,

not during, the pineapple jizz fruit. It was a, Pineapple jizz fruit? It's the gigantic one. The gigantic pineapple type thing. Durian? I think it is durian.

But it like mixed with all that stuff. Fresh durian. It was awful. Yeah. It was rough. But that, I think were you about to say that Olivia

eating the sour cashews? That's what I, That was one of my favorite moments. I mean, it looked like she was gonna die for a second, but,

I know. No, I guess you knew what it was. Yes. I didn't. So knowing that it was just because it was sour.

Yeah. I wish I could try those because I don't think I would have had this reaction. My mouth blotters. The chances that it always lands on me for the malic acid and that I have no reaction to it is so funny.

I love Grape Mouth. I get the malic acid and then Damien always gets like the fishy thing where he's like, oh, this is actually very good. I remember the very early on episodes of Eater to Eat It and it was like one of the first dishes Olivia got that was like super spicy. Yes.

The wasabi. Wasabi Twinkie, right? Yeah. The Twinkies are always great. It's a cool show to like show you new things. Like remember those. It was such a bummer because those like plant the little flowers that make your mouth do everything. In whatever dish. It like didn't get the same effect

until we had people like just try it by themselves because that was the crazy experience. Yeah, that was cool. Because like if you tried to drink a soda or something after, it did not help. It was so crazy. My worst experience. My mouth is watering.

My worst experience on that show is still the peanut butter cups filled with Cambodian fish paste. Yes. And of course everyone was like, oh, you're just going to take one? Take three. Take three. And oh, my God. Oh, I nearly fully yeeted.

Yeah. That was another one of my favorites because, you know, I mean, it was so hard to get you. I know, man. Yeah, it's good they got you. They finally, man. Yeah, it's good I got you. They finally got you. That really ruined me. They got you. Yeah.

Fish stuff, I don't. I have a hard time. It was fermented fish. Fish mixed with anything? Weird. Fish needs to be on its own. Like, I like fermented stuff. Like, there are things that I do enjoy.

Yeah, totally. But fish in general, I have a hard time with. Most of those things, most of the things on Eat It or Yeet It could be good if they are used properly. It's kind of like, I know Australians tell us this all the time. With Vegemite. Whenever we use Vegemite, we of course use a pound of Vegemite. You're supposed to spread it thinly on toast and then it's probably good. It's so good.

Just butter and a thin slab of Vegemite. It's so tasty. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. There's like a lot of foods like that where I'm sure like we definitely do that on purpose kind of in a way. Totally. We want to give you guys a reaction. Something to like look at, laugh at, you know.

Because like a burger is usually good, but if it's cold. I love burger but cold. Burger but cold. That was actually my girlfriend. Really? I have been forgetting to read the usernames. I'm sorry. Oh, I had a few.

There's this one. This next one is from a Gpalm79. Oh. A sweet buddy. Yeah, I'm a sweet buddy. Who said that? I'm a sweet buddy. You're a sweet buddy.

Yeah, I try to be a sweet buddy. Yeah, I think you're a sweet buddy. Yeah, I try to be a sweet buddy. Yeah, I think you're a sweet buddy. Oh yeah, that dog one was mine too. Yeah, that was yours too. Really? Yeah. Oh. Oh my God.

Oh my God, yeah, you have like four or five in here. Wait, are all these assumptions from Garrett? No, no, no, no, no. There's a few in here. There's one more down. I just went to town for a bit last night. Yeah, you were drunk. Sweet buddy.

Yeah, sweet buddy. It's Tuesday night. It's time to say some assumptions about myself. There's some crazy ones in here. Like, he's a simp. That was not me. I know that wasn't you, but somebody said that one. Are you a simp?

Remind me of what simp is. I mean, I think you have a girlfriend. I do. Yeah, I think you're- So you would call a simp for her. I think you'd be the type that your girlfriend could ask anything of you and you'd be like, yeah, I'll do it. She'd be like, hey, can you run to the- If you're nice to women, you're called a simp.

But I think Garrett would go above and beyond in a crazy way that I think if your girlfriend was like, hey, can you go to the store and get carrots? But can you go get carrots in Nevada? Can you drive to a grocery store in Nevada to get carrots and then come back? I think you'd be like, well, okay. Well, I mean, I understand if the carrots in Nevada are especially good. I get it. What a simp. What a simp.

I'm a simp. But yeah, no, she came up with cold burger. She came up with burger but cold. Well, she just said, what about just putting a burger in a freezer? It ends up, it's now the most popular item of all time. I love it. I love it.

Burger but cold. It makes me, sometimes I fantasize about eating a soaking wet burger. That's weird. Just sounds like, I don't know. You fantasize about that? I don't know. Imagine just dunking a burger

in a bucket of fresh filtered cold water and then just taking a bite. Not the worst thing. Anyways. Someone said. What? Someone said you like spicy food. Yeah, I do. I had to work my way up to it.

Yeah? Yeah, I had to build it. When I first started this job, my palate was borderline Noah's palate where it was like butter pasta and nothing else. Now I am damaging my body at some point with how spicy the foods are. By the way, I'm going to throw this out there.

That reminded me with Noah's palate. Garrett, advice for you if ever there's a chance where Noah's on eat it or yeet it. I remember him mentioning this back in the day that tomatoes are the thing that he just cannot eat. What? I think you could get Noah to yeet with just a tomato.

Oh my God. What do you think? A pile of cherry or grape tomatoes? Or should he take a bite out of one like an apple? Or like a big beautiful heirloom. Big beautiful heirloom. But you got to make sure he gets it because if anyone else gets it, that's just a good one.

I know. Yeah. But maybe, you know what? Maybe that's the thing. Because Noah, man, the things that are good are what's bad. Because Noah got a mango cake. Yes. And he hated it.

From Porto's. He didn't like it. Everyone else was like, what? That's the most delicious thing. I love that. It was easily the best item that's ever been on Eat It or Eat It. Because that's from Porto's, which if you don't live in LA, it's a fantastic bakery. And I was just like, this will be easy.

Everybody will be so excited. Cut and dry. Everybody will love it. And Noah got it. And Noah got it. He hated it. It's so funny. I was told in middle school that tomatoes made your boobs grow.

I think I've heard that rumor. I've never heard that. I think I've heard on TV or there was a joke or something. Someone said that. And I knew it only as a joke. That day I went home and ate a tomato like an apple. I mean, tomatoes like apples are great. I mean, look, you probably just lowered your chances of developing cancer later in life by eating a bunch of tomatoes.

I think tomatoes are delicious, but I would love to see Noah's reaction to those. Do you guys have any foods like that that you just can't stand? There is no vegetable or fruit that I'm like

disgusted by. Definitely not vegetables or fruit. You can go crazier with beyond that with meats and stuff, but there's no like simple item that I'm like,

I can't eat that. Yeah, there's nothing that I'm like, well, okay. Bananas. Really? Bananas. I cannot do bananas. Really? Yeah.

Oh, that's it. I hate bananas. Like if you had to eat a banana, would you just be like, ah, this sucks? Is it a texture thing? Or would you be like, oh my God, I can't eat this. Well, it's hard to tell now because- You just haven't touched one forever. Or like I've made it such a big deal

that I'm like, oh, I don't want that. I don't want that. Like, oh no, you got me a banana thing. No, I'm not gonna eat it. I don't like it. So it's the flavor? It's the flavor and the texture. But now it's like built to where like,

it's almost like a bit where I hate them. I will say the one that I- I do hate them. That I'm probably just the least fan of is avocados. Now guacamole is great, but an avocado on its own, I think it's just very, like the texture is very heavy. It's just very heavy. It's not that I'm like, ugh,

it's just that it's like, it's a lot. It just feels like a lot. I love just like a little salt and just spoon it. I think maybe I need to put something on it. So when I've ever tried to eat, I just need a very- Put a little salt. Because plain, it's just kind of like... Yeah. Yeah, we do our avocado toast.

We take it very seriously. See, I had avocado toast recently that I loved, but it had, like, tomatoes with it. It had some other stuff. With other things, avocado's awesome. By itself, I'm just kind of like, eh. Even just seasonings do a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no, I think by itself, same with, like of like, nah. Even just seasonings do a lot. Yeah. Yeah.

No, I think by itself, same with like tomato, you need a little salt. Totally. But it's the texture? Yeah, the texture is just a little like weird. It's just kind of like, you know, very like a clay almost type of texture. Interesting.

It's just not as great as others, you know? Yeah. I love, I just, I don't know, but I'm a huge fan of all other vegetables and fruits. You're a simp for veggies. It's not that I'm like, I dislike avocado. It just doesn't rank up with everything else. Fruit simp.

I am a fruit and veggie simp. I used to absolutely despise celery. Oh, I love celery. I don't like it when it's in like soups and stuff. I don't like what it does to things. Huh. Is it, I also don't like water chestnuts. Is it like that similar?

Oh, I love water chestnuts. Oh, I love those. Like in a soup? Oh, really? The texture is good, but it's the flavor that I have hated so much. I love celery. I think I've, since I've been at Smosh,

I've like tasted it with like ranch or things like that. And then like, I tried to change my outlook on it cause I was like, Oh, negative calories. That's pretty crazy. But I just, even just thinking about it now, I don't like it. I don't like it.

Celery is so great. You put some peanut butter on that celery. Yeah. Oh, or, or if you're ever, you know, on vacation or something,

bloody Mary with a big old celery stick in it. Oh my God. See, I don't know. I would be willing to taste it though. I used to not like bananas very much either, but. Bananas have been my jam my whole life. I have a banana every day.

And I think that's been the case for years. You banana slut. I just love bananas. They're so easy. Bananas and apples are so convenient. I love how convenient they are. Is it weird that I always get

a stomachache when I eat a fresh apple? Is that a mild allergy? Do you have an empty stomach whenever you're doing it? Yeah. It's like acidity. It might be

that there's acidity. Maybe it's just if your stomach's empty. Yeah. I don't know. I could see if your stomach's empty that something like

a tart fruit might upset it a little bit. Does a pear do it? I don't know, I haven't had a pear in a while, but those are good. Pears are underrated. I know, I love a good pear. You know what I fricking love is broccoli.

Yes. Broccoli's legendary. That's a legendary food. That is S tier. Yeah. It is S tier. Yeah. All right, next one about Garrett, because this is the Garrett Show.

He hangs out with young adults to feel young again. Don't we all? Who's that from? Nico Laos. 477. It's Monica. Yeah.

I mean, look, I am older. Whether it's intentional or not. You're LA older. I'm LA older. Yeah. I know, I know. In LA. LA older. I'm LA older. Yeah. I know.

In LA. LA older where you're not older. I do think hanging out with younger people does make you feel younger. Just naturally, whether you're trying to be there or not. Yeah. Can I say, I've been preaching this. I really truly believe that in this modern age 30 is the new 20 because like people aren't moving out as soon as they're 18 as they like as often as they used to and like

people are figuring out their own lives much better yes at around like i'm 25 and i'm just now like really getting our hang of like oh i am this way because like, so yeah, I agree with you. You're doing it before me. I'm 40. Really? Yeah. I would not have guessed. You seem a lot younger. I know.

I think it's the facial hair that would be like, okay, that makes you look older, but you look like you could be like 33, 34. Yeah. I mean, which is around when I started figuring stuff out, like 33, 34. I agree with that. And also, I also think in that sense because you know like my grandparents who were just from such a different generation but they retired in their 60s and i was just like that they spent then 20 20 20 20 odd years more more so just kind of

like chilling i'm just like man like yeah there was a lot like i don't know like i think we have changed like it's different than their generation like because they i think they thought they were gonna die sooner so i mean honestly i mean honestly i'm just kind of like dude like retiring at 60 is very very young in a way yeah it's just not probably gonna be possible for us in our generation so So I don't know. Yeah, it is different. Like the age marker has changed. Yeah.

Especially since, and it's also weird because like 15 year olds are looking so much more different than I looked when I was 15. Like it's crazy. People are growing up faster. But it is true.

It's people are not like the average homeowner and stuff is so much later now. Yes. And it's just harder to get things like in order and settle down. But I will say like when you when I'm on social media and things like that and you're watching the younger kids like be funny and like seeing this new wave of humor and comedy. It makes me feel younger. It makes me feel happier and wants to be a part of it.

Oh, yeah. And that's that is actually a proven thing. And I think it's why like retirement communities and stuff, I think is so sad. Like just being completely around people that you're same age. My grandparents, when my brother, when he was 20, he moved and like started living with them. They got younger. Like they really got younger. Like it had such an impact on them just to be around youth and just to like fresh perspective.

And I think it's also my, I swear, this is like my most important thing that I'm trying to remember for when I'm older is to really listen and respect young people, despite how different, because I, you know, think about how different we think from 60 to 80 year olds now. I am sure when I'm 70, people in their twenties are going to be saying things that I'm going to be like, that's insane. But I'm going to have to be like, you know what? It's been 60 years. The world's different. You're in it. I'm older. like, that's insane. But I'm gonna have to be like, you know what? It's been 60 years.

The world's different. You're in it. I'm older. I respect your opinion. I'm gonna listen to you more. I think it's gonna, that will keep you younger. And just embracing change. Exactly.

Like accepting that change is a constant that's always gonna be there. And like the next, the generation before you is gonna change the world. Right. And you can either like be angry about that or be a part of it. You know, I think that's, Garrett, I'd say that's why you seem younger is because so many people, by the time they are 40 or, you know, so they kind of are like, I am who I am.

Yeah. And my life is what it is. And I don't, I am actively preventing it from changing. Yeah. Whereas you are still, I feel like you're constantly experiencing new things, or at least mentally. I try't, I am actively preventing it from changing. Whereas you are still, I feel like you're constantly experiencing new things or at least mentally. It seems like you're still growing and learning. And I think that's the difference between you

and a lot of people your age that seem so much older. Maybe, I don't know. I don't know. I hope so. That's my assumption of your age. What's your experience been on social media like since all of this? A friend of mine in high school invented LiveJournal. And so like we were there, like it was for us to keep in touch.

And so we all had like LiveJournal back in 97, 98. I don't even think I know what LiveJournal is. I'm not trying to know what that is either. Was that like the first Twitter? That's Tumblr. Wow. I was a simp for Tumblr. I do not know what this was.

I did not. Oh, really? Oh, my God. So, yeah. Well, and it lasted. Courtney was two. Yeah. It lasted for a while. Like, I think George R.

Martin has a live journal still. Wow. George R. Martin would. Yes, he would. But so I've like always. But like, you know, like I would write stupid stuff on there. And I remember like one time, you know,

writing about like somebody down the hall in my dorm having the most annoying laugh and he read it. And that was like the first time that I realized like, oh, this is- You got canceled. I got canceled. In the hallway, you got canceled. That's so funny.

You doxed someone and you got canceled in the 90s on live journals yeah and social media is garrett the first person canceled on social media is that what we're hearing i'm sure no i can't imagine social media back in the day was so well so much more personal yeah because you're saying something someone's gonna show up in person yeah so what about since you've been at smosh especially since during eater to eat it what has it So what about since you've been at Smosh, especially since during Eater to Yeet It, what has it been like for you? It's been very interesting. Like, yeah, I don't know.

I have a lot more Twitter and Instagram followers now. Do you get any hate comments? I don't think they're serious. Yeah, there's the roasting. There's the roasting that happens. I feel like we actually have a very loving fan base. They roast a lot, but there's no like legit. There's no hatred actually there.

I think what's cool about our team is everybody seems kind of young at heart or like whenever, like since I've started working with people that are older than me, I've literally like, I will forget my age and it feels like it's just kind of this ageless group because we all are kind of, everyone seems to have a lot of similar interests like we have like like we had a rock climbing group yeah for a while and then there was like gonna be like a hiking group and things like that it feels like our group just like naturally seems to be all kind of young-hearted yeah you'd never guess monica is 55 yeah and and the fact that, yeah, that Monica's 55. And Kiana, when I first met her, like, I had no idea her age.

Her and I are, like, only a couple days apart, I think. Really? Or is she a year younger than me? I'm not sure, but we're both Geminis, so. That's a lot of hours. Chaotic. Yeah, that's something I do love about this office, this work. It's so many different people, but,, we all seem to like mesh well.

It's a group of very open-minded people. Yeah. And I think that's what keeps us all seeming young is we're all so like constantly learning. I feel, I weirdly feel like I've gotten a lot closer with our crew during this quarantine. Yeah. Despite it being so crazy i mean granted in the beginning of like defy era i was very anti-social for like weird reasons like toxic x things like that but like it's been a new era of like trying to come out of my shell especially this year

because i'm like doing just fine and we're realizing oh thanks man but like realizing during quarantine like oh, oh, shit. Like social interactions. I've been neglecting this. And this is really showing me how important it is. Well, and it's hard in LA. Like when Rachel and I first moved to LA together, like we were all that we had for like a year or two. And like I took a job in Australia for a month during that.

And so she was like alone in LA. Wow. Alone in LA. Alone in LA. Going crazy. It's just a hard city to make friends in. It is a tough city to make friends in. But that's for next week's podcast.

That's next week's podcast. Oh yeah, it is actually. Yeah. Wow. Garrett's on top of it. Another assumption about Garrett. You like your coffee black. Yes.

Really? Yep. Not even any sweetener or sugar or anything? No. I like about Garrett. You like your coffee black. Yes. Really? Yep. Not even any sweetener or sugar or anything? I like it black. I like it light roasted. And I like East African coffees. What's that? Like fruitier, berry. Fruitier, okay.

Berry forward, strawberry forward. Man, I am not that intelligent when it comes to coffee. I like nutty. Nutty? So like. Is that more European? South, like grown in Europe? No, no.

Like you're saying like East African. Like what regions typically do more of that type of flavor profile? Yeah. So like East African will be like more like the stuff grown there is like fruitier. South and Central America is a little nutty, is nuttier. Got it. And then like Oceana is like woodsier, tobacco-y. Ooh.

I think those are mine. Yeah. Those are my favorites. Like Sumatrans. Yeah. Yeah. I like, and I like dark roasts. I don't care. I think medium roast is fine. I like light roast. My favorite brew bean that I have at home right now

is called Bitches Brew. Nice. I wish I could drink coffee black. My teeth get stained so easily. Yeah. How do you drink your coffee though? Like, do you let it like flow through your teeth? You should open up.

You should open up that. I'm not even joking though. Are you drinking like? Is your teeth biting the cup? I have pretty large front teeth, so it probably can't avoid it that they. Yeah, do it like that. Use that, screenshot this.

Yeah, great. Cause I don't get that. I get it. I mean, look at my teeth. My teeth stain very- You have nice teeth. But my teeth stain very easily. And I'll notice it and like, it fluctuates, cause literally my teeth will start to stain.

They will look like I smoke. They'll get that yell. And then I go to the dentist and it's like, they're able to just scrape it all off and it's back to normal. That's crazy. It's weird, I don't know. That's I go to the dentist and it's like, they're able to just scrape it all off. And it's back to normal. It's weird. I don't know. That's crazy. Yeah. Just what it is.

Do you prefer hot or cold coffee? Oh, either way. It depends on the season. You've made, there was a period of time where you were making cold brew for the whole office. Yeah. That was a lot of fun. All right. Next one. Garrett's car is the messiest of the crew. Ooh, that's an interesting assumption.

I think someone else takes that cake. Yeah, someone else definitely does win. You guys gonna say who? Well, I don't think. That's mean. No, we can't. We can't. I don't know.

We can't. We can't. We can't, I'm sorry. You guys will have to continue the saga of who has the messiest car. I would say that yours wouldn't be that messy. Yeah, it goes in phases. I mean, everybody's-

It doesn't get that messy. Everybody's goes in phases, but who has the average messiest car at all time? Because everyone cleans their car out a little bit and then lets it get bad, but who has it the worst? And your car then, is it usually full of like gear? Do you leave hiking gear or stuff in there? Oh, hiking gear?

Sometimes, sometimes, yeah. There's usually a few jackets. Okay. Yeah, what's the kind of messy that everybody has? Yeah. So your jackets, clothes. A few LaCroix cans. Got it. That I need to get around to.

Disposable masks. Couple things for the dogs. Disposable masks, yeah, right now. I mean, it's full of hand sanitizer right now. Yeah. Some carabiners. Blanket or two. What about you, Shane? Mine's papers. Like, I'll get papers. Like, if I

go get, like, my tires fixed, they give you that sheet of paper, whatever. I'll leave that on my passenger seat, and that'll end up just kind of on the floor. I'll eventually have so many receipts and just paper all over the place. That's mine. And that used to be, it used to be water bottles. Yeah.

I would have just countless like half empty or empty water bottles. I feel like that sometimes too. Not anymore. And obviously this year I'm not driving as much. So yeah, it's not that bad. Mine's mostly like Starbucks, like breakfast wrappers and stuff. Makes sense. That's fair. I've decided like this morning, I was just talking about, I think with both of you guys, that bad mine's mostly like starbucks like breakfast wrappers and stuff makes sense that's

fair i've decided like this morning i was just talking about i think with both of you guys that i don't like starbucks anymore oh really i wasn't there for this oh yeah i'm proud of you starbucks is a convenience thing i mean i will say like the starbucks i go to i specifically go to because the staff is so friendly yeah it's been obviously different because of the crazy times, but I used to go there and they were so nice to me in the drive-thru that I would like literally get coked out from it. I was like, yes, they're freaking nice.

I love it. This is going to be a great start to my day. Well, the workers at Starbucks are all great. They're always so friendly. There's no problem with them. They treat their workers pretty well. That is a huge part of it. And Starbucks coffee is only not good because they literally are equipped to make so many types of things that they're not focusing on making a couple things.

Right. You go to any other coffee shop. It's like we make a latte, a cappuccino, an Americano. And like we make those things very well. Starbucks has to be able to make a bunch of frappuccinos and stuff. So you order regular coffee. It's going to taste like whatever. Yeah, it just, I randomly,

it hit me today that I've been trying, I have been trying nicer, like smaller business coffees. And I was like, I just suddenly this morning, I made a mental comparison because I ordered the same thing all the time, which is like a iced coffee with oat or coconut milk and vanilla.

I was like, holy shit shit this tastes awful compared to and i'm not i'm sorry starbucks i'm not trying to be mean but i guess i am on ian's team now starbucks is gonna be okay yeah they're gonna be i think starbucks is gonna be fine the staff i love you guys i might even still just come in to say hi i will whenever i do go to like a local like small business coffee shop i'm like holy god this latte is delicious to everyone listening go do go to like a local, like small business coffee shop, I'm like, holy God, this latte is delicious. It's so good. To everyone listening, go to local coffee shops, especially right now in 2020, they are hurting.

And trust me, I don't care where you live. I guarantee you, like you've got a really good local coffee shop. I guarantee you probably do. I guarantee it. I guarantee it. You're gonna like the way you drink your coffee. So I feel like every state has like a different aspect

to what makes their coffee great. I don't know. Yeah. Okay. This next one is, it's in all caps. This is from at Champion Cheddar. Ready?

Okay. I'm going to just do it the way that they probably want me to say it. You have a wig. Like your hair never grows. It is the same all the time. Your hair's grown quite a bit this year. Yeah, I know, what are they talking about?

Yeah, that's crazy. It is very thick hair, like in the best way. It is very thick and voluptuous. It's the Greek in me. Wow. Yes. I know, I do now, I see it. I do know you're Greek now.

Now that you say that. But like my chest is hairless. Oh. Hairless. That's crazy. And somehow the Greek is just here. Only the Greek is. I almost asked a very appropriate question.

Yeah. Sorry. Courtney. You know, it's just TikTok's talking about like a lot of people on a lot of podcasts also too are just talking about a lot of body hair stuff. Yeah. Anyway, that's wild. Having a crazy hairy head and face and then not a hairy chest that's lucky because you know what i i don't understand how guys i don't understand how guys can handle having tons of shoulder hair shoulder hair like i will see some i will see some i will

see some dudes walking around wearing tank tops and they are there is an inch like off their body that nothing will pass. That I'm just like, what's it feel like to never wear it? Like they must feel like clothes are never actually touching their skin. A shirt is always an inch off their body. I wasn't thinking about pubes by the way. I was thinking about asses.

Oh my, okay. Sorry, that doesn't sound much better. Well, you know what's gotta be on, no, but once again, what's uncomfortable is having like hair like on the butt cheeks. I'm like, I'm just like, that's gotta suck. Like you sit down on your hair like, ah, like that's. I've got some.

But I'm talking like people who are like, you see those old, you see like old Italian, literally like you'll see like an old Italian dude walking around and he's wearing like a tank top. He's chilling. He seems like he's having a great time, but that guy is covered in so much hair. And I'm like, how is that comfortable? How do you see his ass hair?

Well, not his ass hair. Well, it depends on the pants. I mean, sometimes, sometimes people like are not wearing much, but I'm talking still about the shoulder hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The shoulder hair is still what baffles me. I'm like, God, that looks uncomfortable. And then in the summer, it's gotta be so hot. I'm sure, I'm sure if like you wake up one day

and suddenly you have hairy shoulders, that's one thing, but like they've grown up with it. I don't know. Yeah, it if like you wake up one day and suddenly you have hairy shoulders, that's one thing, but like they've grown up with it. I don't know. Yeah, it's what you know. They're used to it. I think my dad had a super hairy back and he got like laser hair removal forever ago,

but I don't have any hair on my back. I don't know. I didn't get it. I didn't pick it up. Yeah. But do you, you like can grow chest hair, right? I can.

I actually shave. So I do shave my chest hair because getting miked on set on Goldberg's, what they do is they stick, they put like this crazy tape on the microphone, this tiny little microphone, and they stick it to your chest. And when I did have chest hair, it would just, I would have to rip off chest hair every day. And it got to the point i was like you know i'm just getting rid of this like i can't it sucks we put it on we put it on

the fabric of our clothes and stuff when we do it and even then though it'll sometimes get caught and it just sucks anything you have to say about that and you have to say about that no so garrett nothing just so you know garrett does not wear a wig. He does not wear a wig. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. I do not. The beard is, oh, is fake. Yeah. I glue on each. Every single individual strand. You trim your own real hair. Yes.

Exactly. You transfer it over to there. Yep. That's, but that's normal. It looks better. Exactly. Anna Riley says,

Garrett farms his own bugs for consumption because he is a bunch of birds in a Garrett suit. Wow, Garrett, what do you have to say about that? Exposed. Kevin, shut this down. Oh, okay. Cut the cameras. Oh, cut the cameras, cut the sound.

Okay, everything's off, go ahead and let it spill. I am two birds. Just only two. With one stone? But they are California condors. They are California condors. So they- They're very large.

They're very large. They're very large. So it makes sense. Yeah. Are the legs in here? Yeah, the legs are in the arms. My arm is sore from the flu shot. Mine too. Yeah.

I know. One head is here. One head is here. Garrett said one head is in his head. One head is in his chest. Yes, I forgot this is a podcast. The condors are not comfortable, but they are working together

and they are making a Garrett. Teamwork. Obviously you don't farm bugs, but you do. Cause I would eat them. You, yeah, but you do actually grow a lot of stuff on your own, right? I try, but I don't do that well. I, it is hard.

The two things that are growing well for me right now are rosemary and basil. Nice. Love rosemary and basil. Nice. Love rosemary. Rosemary is so easy. Really? Yeah. I really want to make sage work.

That's good because people who buy them, I guess they don't realize it's like a hard resource to get or something for some people. Sage? Is it sage? Am I thinking of the right thing? Like there's a lot of people that are against burning sage, right?

Yeah, but I think that's part of it is that's appropriation and that it's also like traditionally you're you're not supposed to like pay for the the sage bundle that you then smudge with like it's like yeah you're not supposed to pay for it um oh interesting yeah i mean i think the main thing is it's appropriation but i just i just love the smell of sage. Yeah. Well, fresh plants are so great. Like I love whenever I buy basil and I'm just like, oh, this smells so delicious.

I would love to have a basil plant in my house so it just constantly smells like basil. It does. It's great. Well, and then sage is so tasty. And then I love to like take a sprig of sage and put it on the dashboard of my car. Oh,

cool. Smell like sage. Oh, interesting. Yeah. That's a very Garrett thing to do. That is a very Garrett thing. Yeah.

I actually recently bought a basil plant. It's in my kitchen. Yes. I, I was, I have a lot of plants in my place recently and I've been moving around trying to find their spots and I decided to buy a basil plant. It's in the perfect spot.

It's a very moody plant, it seems like. It needs, it's like the way, the amounts that you need to water it are kind of like. I have mine on a automatic, like it's got a reservoir of water underneath it that it just kind of puts it to use. I need to get one of those things, like one of those like Brookstone devices

where it's like, this is your garden and it like kind of has UV lights on it and everything. Something, cause otherwise I feel like I wouldn't keep it alive. I had my, I have mine in the, in the kitchen, in the window alcove area and it gets blasted by the heat in the summer. So it was destroyed,

but then it grew out of it. So it's like, there's this brown part and then it's green and basil above it. Is it weird that I'll just randomly pull a leaf off the basil plant and eat it and just keep it? No, dude, that's what it's for. Yeah. I, one of my, I love to grow kale and just go and eat it. Really?

Not even pick it, but just start eating it. Like a giraffe. I think that's one of the things I can't do is raw kale. I can't do raw kale, but roasted kale. That's the best thing ever made. Yeah. Is that it for the assumptions? Pretty much.

Do you have any, Courtney, do you have any assumptions of Garrett? Do I have any assumptions? Because I think, I want to see if I'm correct on some of these. Garrett, you've at least attempted to brew your own beer at some point. No, but I have tried kombucha. You have tried to make your own drink.

Wow. Kombucha, yes. How did it work out? Yeah, it worked out well, but in a tiny Brooklyn apartment, it just wasn't feasible. I mean, it was smelling it up. What kind of kombucha?

Just basic black tea kombucha. Got it. I have helped somebody brew beer before. Like just a small, like one of those small little sets, you know, not crazy. You're not like selling beer illegally or whatever. No, no, no, no. I just, my only assumption i've ever had about you is like you're mischievous

i don't know i mean kevin's not his head yes look i yeah i love like uh being a little trickster if i can like it's my favorite thing and like the trickster gods you know the tricksters loki archetype yeah i love loki yeah have you ever broken the tricksters. You're just Loki. Archetype. Yeah, I love Loki. Have you ever broken the law? You can say that on a pod, it's fine. Really? This isn't binding? This is a private pod. I am kind of, and a parking ticket is breaking the law.

I am a bit of a rule follower. That's good. I would see that, yeah. I get really stressed out if i'm breaking a rule but yeah it's innocent pranks and stuff oh yeah innocent pranks that's what's great about smash yeah i have an assumption of garrett i assume that at some point in high school or college you had a bob marley phase oh no nope no you do not know in high school deadhead no first year all black all black. All black.

Pearl Jam, Metallica, Nirvana t-shirts. Whoa, Nirvana, okay. Nirvana, Garrett. And then after that, khakis and blue button up shirts. Khakis and blue button up. You were a boat boy? Not really.

Do it to them, boy. Just khakis and blue button up. Yeah. You're so preppy as all get out. That's what I was going for, but I was not preppy at all. And like the preps wouldn't exist. Where it's like spiteful preppy?

No, like this is safe. I couldn't even- You're just dressing hetero. Yeah, I guess so, yeah. I couldn't even use the word cool cause I didn't think I was cool enough to use the word cool. Wow.

Whoa. Like I just, so I was like, okay, just go to J.C to j crew oh that's square oh guys that sounds pretty square were you still listening to nirvana and pearl jam yeah and like dream theater queens reich a lot of prog rock do you have pictures of this era i do okay good yes because we will need to see those where like in the peak of college where were you at uh peak of college or peak of high school i was in a big i hate to admit this but in college i was a i was a big woody allen phase okay so still still like button-ups and like khakis and like sweaters over them got it and uh anxiety

so like all yeah kind of like all together. Wow. And it was after that, I worked a job in Colorado as a ranch hand. That's where I found the outdoorsy. Cool. Where in Colorado? Buena Vista.

I've never been to Buena Vista. I love Colorado. I do too. And I've actually, there was a phase when I was struggling with acting where I was like teasing the idea of like, go work as a ranch hand for a month. Like just-

Dude, I had the same phase, but like I was gonna use that website called Workaway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's something like that. I don't know if I'm naming it, but where you just basically go work on a ranch and they just let you live there. Yeah, there's like a farm, wolfing.

Is that what it is? Yeah, wolfing. I can't remember, but it's like farms across the world. Yeah. You can do that. I really wanted to do that too, because my grandfather was born and grew up on a ranch in Colorado. So like my family, both lines of my family

come from ranchers. Where in Colorado? I don't know where necessarily, not far from like Denver though. Okay, yeah. Just, but just kind of out there in the plains. Wow, everyone in this room has had sexual tension with being a horse girl.

I have one more. I have an assumption of Garrett. We know Garrett worked on Wall Street. My assumption of Garrett is that he also occupied Wall Street. I did walk around and like. You were there. I was there during Occupy. Were you there working during Occupy?

That's crazy. I have a thought for some last things we can say, unless there's some questions or whatever. But I was going to say, what are some pitches that we have for what we could do on Eatery Year? Because I've had some ideas. I've submitted some,

but I think they just kind of get lost. Well, hey, look, here's a platform right now. We could say them and they can be out there in public. But I kind of want the, I guess the theme. And the fans could keep asking. You can keep keep commenting but you're a potential eater is here i know i i still have your your document i'm not saying foods even i'm still having like there's the sandwich one yes but i have an even better one the movie one i think i i do think look if we're saying food's a theme that I would like, and obviously non-alcoholic, but cocktails. Some nice virgin cocktails.

No, alcoholic. Some virgin cocktails that are awful. I'm down. Mocktails? Yeah. Some mocktails. What's the famous one? It's not a mocktail even, but what's the famous, like, Shirley Temple?

Shirley Temple. Or an Arnold Palmer that are just awful. Dude, Keith loves Shirley Temples. They're good. Those are good cocktails. I didn't say anything. You said that they're awful. No, I Temple's. They're good. Those are good cocktails. You said that they're awful. No, I didn't. I said they're not technically like cocktails. Nobody said they're bad.

I said it's not a virgin cocktail. Why am I gatekeeping sugary drinks? I think, you know, we have the Garrett sliver, like when we have the spinach, I think we should do one where everyone else's is a sliver and Garrett's is the majority. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's not a need for that.

Garrett has like a 90% chance of getting every single one and everyone else has like a tiny chance. There's no need, there's no need for that. Yeah, I don't know. See, the problem is, is I'm over and on the side and I've just got a stool, there's no table there for me to eat. So it really doesn't work to have the sliver.

We don't have the resources. I don't really have a way for me to eat the food. I think we could also do a deal or no deal situation where all five are brought out and they're laid in front of us and we take turns just picking one. I like you just go, I pick number five. Or if it's like in suitcases,

we just mash the cases. It's a milkshake. Just a milkshake, just milk just pours out of the suitcase like that's really funny and guys just so you know please comment down but like beneath our yeah i get a lot of yeah beneath eat it or eat it comment ideas any idea you have and we we do read them yeah we've used ideas yeah the garrett sliver came from a suggestion. I've done a strawberry filled thing off a suggestion. Dude, we almost got you with the Garrett sliver recently on a shoot. The episode might not be out yet, but we, one day.

Look, I wish it would work. I really do. He has magnets hooked up. It's such a shame. It's just such a shame. I'm so sorry. Just pull your teeth out and then you'll not be able to eat anything.

That's the only assumption to Gary you guys didn't get right is that he wears dentures. Yeah, I do. You guys didn't predict it. It's wood painted white. Yep, and they look great. Thank you. I got a question for you, Courtney.

For me? Yeah, for Eat It or Yeet It, are you ever going to eat it? Oh, will Courtney ever be a contestant i feel like there has been past episodes before quarantine where i did like taste things like after it's already been eaten maybe there would be a type of of food where you'd be down where it's like okay this type of this general sphere won't gross me out enough i trust you i'm not like on i wasn't on the show at first because there was an element of distrust,

but I don't think you're like gonna make an awful experience for me or you're gonna like try and make me look bad. You just don't like bad food. I don't like bad food. Part of me is like solidarity, like put a Courtney sliver down. Yeah.

But even then. And maybe like a bigger sliver. It should be a super, a super small Courtney sliver. Like literally half the size of yours. What? No. Like the chances would be so slim. It wouldn't be fair.

No, I mean it's- I know. It's crazy, like I know the foods. It's not unfair. I know, you do know the foods. Sometimes I choose not to read the cards. Or I'll like skim them. I usually do know what you guys are eating.

So like, that's what kind of makes it worse. Have you felt like I've crossed the line? Not in eat it or yeet it, like, like, cause I put it in my mouth. Wait, in other places though? No, like I don't think you- I've crossed the line outside of eat it or yeet it. I think sometimes punishments get crazy,

but I don't even know if I can necessarily like pick, like you were the one who picked all of those. I don't think you crossed the line with the food, but I think everyone crossed the line by telling me to put in three fish paste cups. That is something that does make me nervous is like when I'm told to like, okay, take a

big bite or like punishments, the concept sometimes it gives me anxiety of like, why do I need to get hurt? Or like, why are you doing, you need me to hurt? Like, am need me to hurt? Like, am I not funny enough? Am I not good enough alone in the content?

It's about the thumbnail. I auditioned for this. That Mario party where it was too spicy is got a lot of pain. Oh my God. I will say habanero peppers are always the worst. There's nothing that compares, but there is an element. There's a second where it's delicious. There's a second where it's delicious.

There's a second where it's delicious and then it's just pain. And I have had burgers or meals. Burgers. Burgers. Habanero peppers are awesome. Eating an entire one in one bite is- My first time I did it,

like was that Summer Games? I couldn't speak. It was my first week I had to eat a habanero pepper. You're not okay. I remember seeing Mari in the back just tripping out. Delirious. It's wild. It's a bad time.

Nothing compares to habanero pepper. Nothing compares. You ready for the shoot, dude, guys? Yes. I guess so. Obviously, Garrett, you've listened to the podcast. We've listened to the story. We've listened to the story. And I like to determine whether I believe it's true or not.

Gotcha. Because I think a lot of people are out there trying to fabricate stories. These are listeners submitted or viewers submitted stories of embarrassment or cringe moments that we will deem whether or not they are a shoot dude. I don't think people are necessarily lying. I think sometimes they will spin them in a way. Exaggerate. Or like that one dude who's like, I accidentally stumbled across this mom's underwear drawer. I'm like, dude, I think

you're snooping around. We talk about that episode a lot. I feel bad for that dude. No, I mean, it's fine. Hey, look, it's fine. It's not like a big deal. I definitely did that. I think the perfect shoot dude is like a Seinfeld scenario where someone actively does an action and it backfires on them. That to me is the perfect shoot dude is like a Seinfeld scenario where someone actively does an action and it backfires on them. Yeah.

That to me is the perfect shoot dude. Yeah. Because there's some also where people are just like completely innocent where something just happens to them. I'm like, that's not a shoot dude. You just got screwed over. Yeah. Would you say you're on the quest for the perfect shoot dude? I think so. The underwear drawer, the mom's underwear drawer one

was almost perfect if he truly had gone in there for a different reason and accidentally did that. I don't believe that was the case. Yeah. It was an interesting story. So I don't buy it. I don't buy it. All right, are you ready for the shoot dude?

Yes. Yes, my heart is open. You're supposed to say shoot dude. Oh, shoot dude. Shoot, shoot dude. Shoot dude. Shoot, shoot, dude. Yeah. Shoot, dude. Shoot, dude. Shoot, dude. Shoot, dude.

Shoot, dude. Shoot, dude. Shoot, dude. Shoot, dude. Shoot, shoot. Shoot, dude. Shoot, dude. This one is from Jake.

Two years ago, I was talking to a guy on Grindr and we seemed to hit it off. After a week, we'd finally decided to meet at a chain sit-down restaurant for our first meal defined date i arrived at the restaurant 10 minutes early ah like you say in your video in our video a side effect of having worked in emergency response i guess he always wants to be early to everything and sent him a text to let him know i was by the host stand he responded almost immediately saying he was as well i looked around and didn't see anyone who matched any of his pictures so naturally i started to get nervous that he either catfished or ghosted me i send back a message asking the restaurant on blank street he like basically just clear checking clarifying what restaurant it was he sends another message

realizing he was at the correct chain restaurant but in the wrong town he was a 15 minute drive away i grabbed a table and a drink and waited until he made it to the restaurant we've now been together almost two years and i still tease him about it that's not a shoot yeah that's not a shoot dude that's just a sweet story yeah it's a sweet story yeah the shoot dude would be on the other person's side the other person yeah yeah that's not a shoot dude that be on the other person's side. The other person. Yeah. Yeah. That's not a shoot dude. That's just congratulations. Congratulations. And that happens to everyone in LA, like every week. I have literally, I literally one time, I think it was the wrap.

Like we were just having a dinner for So Random. And it was just kind of like a celebratory dinner at Benihana. And so I show up to the Benihana in a different way different part of town like i'm an hour away and uh and they're like yeah we're about to start eating here and i'm just like yeah and i drove and i managed to like drive all the way across la and get there before some other people because people just show up so late but yeah that's happened to me before yeah for not as cool of a reason it didn't have as happy of an ending. Yeah.

It didn't end with a relationship. Yeah. Yeah. You try to submit a shoot dude and you're happy. Can't have a shoot dude and you're happy. You won in that scenario. You were the top dog. You were at the correct restaurant.

That's a congrats dude. That's a congrats buddy. But even the other guy ended up happy. Yeah. They both ended up happy. They both ended up happy. It was tough. Not a shoot dude. That was 15 minutes. That that was 15 minutes you had to wait yeah 15 minutes not

bad that is scary like almost thinking you're getting catfished though yeah that has to be that fear like where uh i have a friend from who's a who's a youtuber who was doing tinder or whatever and like someone got in the car that was just not uh and they were just quiet and didn't and didn't acknowledge it and then he was like um okay okay i guess we're just gonna do this date i'm fascinated by catfish i know i'm fascinated by it i don't understand it i'm fascinated have you guys ever had an experience somewhat close to this or like having an almost catfishing or ghosting date or have you the only thing that i that i think of is i just i have shown up so early yeah i just show up so early to shit i i just yeah i think i've had a date tell me halfway through that they were going

to ghost me after i don't know if that even counts as good like they were they had already met you and we're like yeah i'm'm going to ghost you. Yeah. Well, what she said was, look, I usually will ghost if I don't think it's working. But you seem like a nice guy. So I'm going to tell you right now, I'm going to ghost you after this. I was like, OK, do you want another beer? Oh, Garrett. I know.

I mean, it was like, I don't know. It was ridiculous. She was a lawyer. I was cat sitting. Like, I don't know. It was a ridiculous, she was a lawyer. I was cat sitting. Like I had no money. I was just like cat sitting. And it's just, yeah. That's just a weird way of saying it. I know, I know.

She could have just said, she could have just said, oh, I'm not interested in this going forward. But she was staying, sticking around. It's a weird thing to say like, I'm going to catfish. I think we split. I think we split it.

Also that's not ghosting. I know, I know. That's not technically ghosting. If she you say like, I'm going to Catfish? I think we split. I think we split it. Also that's not ghosting. I know, I know. That's not technically ghosting. I know. If she goes, hey, I'm letting you know that I'm gonna stop talking to you. No, then you're saying I'm gonna stop talking to you. Ghosting is not.

Did she use the term ghost? She did, she did. That's a weird individual. I know, but I mean. That's a strange person. I object. Yes, she was a lawyer. Yeah, that's why I say I object.

But I mean, we had a weird poet in common that we liked on our Tinder profiles. So we, okay. So that was like a good time at least. Did that leave some pressure off you? It was a good conversation. Or did it make it worse? Yeah.

Well, cause like at the start I was like, oh no, she's not gonna be into me. She's like successful and I'm a cat sitter. Kevin's given the... I don't want to end it. I like talking to them. Sorry, Courtney. You gotta end it. No, Kevin! You gotta say goodbye, Courtney.

Courtney, it's time. I want to keep talking to them. I want to keep talking to my boys! Fine. If you have a shoot dude that you would like to submit that's better than this one, we have an email that is shootdude at smosh.com.

That is S-H-O-O-T-D-O-O-D at smosh.com. If you don't know how to smell smosh, smell smosh. That's right. Congrats on your relationship, Jake.

Take a big whiff and subscribe. Garrett, thanks for coming on this podcast for the first time. It's really fun to get people from behind the scenes

and someone a little bit in front of the scenes. Yeah, a little bit, yeah. And I'm glad I got to clear up some assumptions. Exactly. Garrett is our true wild card. There's still too much mystery about him. Thank you. Thank you.

Majestic. Please keep assuming everything about Garrett. Always stay assuming. Yeah. Guys, we have podcasts that come out every week. On Wednesdays, the audio comes out if you want to listen to us while you're doing dishes or just walking around outside not knowing where you're going.

And on Fridays, we have the video version where you get to see our lovely outfits and our cute hair and just us looking at each other uncomfortably. That's the video version comes out every Friday on YouTube on our Smoshcast channel. Subscribe or I will hit you. If you guys want to be a part of these questions or assumption submissions or things like that, surveys we take all the time, follow us on social media. We do it on Instagram.

We do it on Twitter. And if you don't want to miss them, I would turn on the notifications because sometimes I think we pick a lot of the first ones we see or things like that. So make sure you're involved because we really love interacting with you guys and we love seeing more and more people doing that.

Anything you want to shout out, Garrett? Yeah. No. You don't have an album coming out? No. Mixed tape? Kombucha tape? Kombucha tape. I'm working on a new line of kombuchas. No, I don't have anything. New Eat It or Yeet It's coming out.

They're going gonna be coming out if anybody want to read wants to read my pilot i've written two during quarantine oh that's great yeah thank you

great um well that's a good note to end it on i love you guys love you guys love you guys bye

bye you guys. Love you guys. Love you guys. You guys are cool. Bye. Bye.