Snook - 3 Hours of Scary Reddit Threads
Episode Date: September 28, 2026Join the Patreon! For bonus videos, exclusive livestreams, discord and more! https://www.patreon.com/SnookYT From a horrifying thread of an OPs husband who terrorizes his kids and does unspeakable... things... to an OP who finds out her fiancé has been collecting his "juice" in a jar... this is 3 Hours of Scary Reddit Threads... Please do not attempt to contact anyone talked about in this video. Timestamps!0:00 | Intro1:57 | He is so jealous of our kids and it's starting to scare me...36:01 | A close friend has anonymously posted horrific photoshopped images of me 46:59 | Woman finds out her husband has been doing unspeakably nasty things in the kitchen53:13 | My brother is dangerous. Im looking for ways to protect my family1:33:36 | My roommate went crazy while I was gone for the week and destroyed my possessions1:43:11 | My boyfriend had a bizarre reaction upon meeting my sister...1:52:13 | Is my sisters husband acting weird or am I overthinking2:12:16 | Would I be bad if I just tell everyone the truth about what is going on?2:32:45 | My boyfriend is hiding all my stuff and I have no idea why2:50:29 | My daughter just came to me with some disgusting news...3:11:26 | Outro Join the Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/SnookYT Follow me on instagram and Spotify! If your story or post was included in today's video and you wish for it to be taken down, please reach out to this email. Officialsnook23@gmail.com And yes, I'm a human voice. NEXT SUB GOAL - 1,000,000 subscribers! So make sure to subscribe! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
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Hey, what's up guys and welcome back to the channel.
And today we're getting into three hours of some scary Reddit threads.
And oh boy, do I have some horrifying, disturbing, creepy, and like the title says, scary.
Reddit threads for you guys today, they had me on the edge of my seat the entire time.
So make sure to stick around.
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support. It really does mean the world. And anyways, that's enough yapping. So sit back, relax,
grab a drink and grab a snack. And without further ado, let's get into three hours of some
scary Reddit threads. He 42 male is so jealous of our kids and it's starting to
scare me, 35 female. Is this family and marriage even savable? My husband, 42 male and I, 35 female,
tried for so long to have our boys and girl. Due to a health issue, my husband suffered. He developed
fertility issues and we had to get medical assistance to be able to have our children because if we didn't,
he'd probably never have kids. So we went through fertility treatment. He desperately
wanted his own biological children and we spent a fortune just to bring them into the world
and now he's jealous and distant with them he is constantly in competition with his own infant children
if i hold the children he gets frustrated anytime they take my attention away he gets completely pissy
he's always in a foul mood irritable and just downright nasty i don't understand it why is he
like this. Our children are barely six months and they won't stop crying every time he's near.
I feel like they can sense his negativity. I try talking to him. I've suggested he take interest
in the kids and spend more time with us as a family. I know it can sometimes take a little
longer for parents to bond with their children, but this is downright scary to experience. He is
full of jealousy and envy. He sees our children as competition to my time. He's. He's a child.
in affections. A few times now, he has made comments about feeling frustrated that I still
breastfeed our children. The thing is, we mix feed, so he has an ample opportunity to
feed them, and he just doesn't. He also said that this, meaning our life and our marriage after
children, wasn't what he thought it would be like. I mean, what did he expect? A singular baby cries
and three of them cry a lot. We've been together for eight years,
and married for seven years.
He wanted these children.
He pushed for them, and now this.
I never thought this would ever be me.
I am scared.
I am scared for my children.
I have tried talking to him, but he just brushes me off.
I have suggested counseling.
He refuses.
He tells me it's all in my head.
I want to save this marriage, but I am scared I won't be able to,
and maybe it's not worth saving.
He comes home later every day.
He avoids us on the weekends and any time he has off,
I'm not ashamed to say that I went through his phone
and there are a lot of flirtatious texts between him and a Jessica.
I don't think anything has happened between them,
but it sure looks like they are building up to it.
I haven't said anything because I'm afraid.
Where do I go with three children?
With no money and no family that can help me.
I haven't worked in two years,
and I've spent all my savings on having these children.
My mind is in a complete meltdown.
I can't sleep.
I can't think.
And I'm always exhausted.
What the hell happened?
Is this him now forever?
Edit.
Some of you are real evil bastards.
Stop blaming me for him mistreating me.
I do not deserve to be treated this way and neither do my kids.
Stop messaging me.
evil things.
And now let's get into some of the top comments.
Someone says, get a camera in the baby's bedroom.
Check other subs on tips on how to leave safely.
Some suggest removing important docs like passports and birth certificates
and storing it in a safety deposit box or trusted friend.
You can rent a small storage unit in a nearby area
and move stuff over bit by bit so he doesn't notice.
May not be practical with three babies, though.
Can you take out a bit?
a cash when you buy groceries and stash it somewhere?
Sell items on Marketplace for additional cash.
Someone else says,
My dad was like this.
Always angry and jealous anytime my mom focused on us three kids instead of him.
And accusing her always of running after us,
so she better get up and serve him too.
And I'll make you run.
I'm in my late 30s and he still does this toward my 8-year-old
if my mom does anything for him.
No, I don't bring my children.
around much, but he hasn't changed in 40 years. Narcissistic, childish, selfish. You're dealing
with my dad, basically. Start planning to get out because it's not normal. Plus, he already may be
cheating and using the family dynamics as an excuse to justify it. He's not getting enough
attention from you, and now you're the enemy who pushes him to another woman. I'm sorry.
And the OP response and says, this hurt to read.
but thank you for sharing and another user says no this is not savable there is something inherently
wrong about a father who is jealous of his children simply because they require your attention
the wanting you to stop breastfeeding thing is another red flag he views your breasts as his breasts
and is resentful that they are currently being used to feed his children
I don't see how you can stay married to a man like him.
Now that you've seen who he really is.
And someone else says, did he really want kids or did you want kids?
And the OPEE responds and says, due to my husband's fertility issues, he was the one pushing for us to have kids.
He knew early on that he had a health condition and wanted us to have children way earlier, but I asked if we could wait.
But then his condition worsened, so we agreed to get treatment before he couldn't have any kids.
He desperately wanted to be a father, and they are biologically ours.
His desire to be a father was one of the qualities I liked about him when we started dating.
I've always worked, and the plan was for me to stay home for the first two to three years,
and perhaps work part-time until the kids were school-aged.
But that's out the window now because I don't want to ever be this vulnerable.
I've been brushing off my CV and scouring the internet for a job.
I will never allow myself to be this vulnerable again.
And someone else says, does he help at all?
Do you have a support system you can go to?
And the OP responds and says,
He doesn't help me at all.
I take care of our kids on my own.
My parents are long gone and my sister is abroad.
She stayed with us for the birth and a month after the children were born.
She lives in France, but she's due to return home this summer, so I know I'll have her help when she's back,
but I'm trying not to bother her as she's going through a divorce.
I've suggested couples counseling, and he refuses.
He says everything is in my head.
I'm actually even crying riding this, but I do have a small to-go bag in the truck of my car, just in case.
I feel like I'm not being rational because he doesn't hurt me or the kids, but I feel like I'm
constantly walking on eggshells.
Like what happened to my happy go lucky husband?
Who is this person I'm afraid of?
And then the OPE comes back three days later with an update that's titled,
He's Been Pinching My Babies?
And it reads as follows.
Thank you to the person who said I should watch his interactions with my babies more closely
and frequently.
Not even hours after I posted here asking for advice.
I caught him pinching my son.
While I was scrolling on here and replying to people,
I decided to check my baby monitor,
and I watched my husband enter our children's room
and insult them in a hushed, whispery tone.
I couldn't make out much of what he was saying,
but he was without a doubt telling them that he hated them
and wished them dead.
Then he pinched my son and my baby boy, didn't even cry,
which made me think he's done this many times before.
It all happened so fast
and by the time I could make sense of what was happening on the monitor,
he was already walking down the hallway and down the stairs.
At the same time, I had leapt off the sofa
and pretty much tackled him as he came off the stairs.
We got into a physical and verbal altercation.
We fought, argued, and shouted for hours.
I guess the police were called by the neighbors
because the next thing I know, the police are banging on my door.
I explained the situation to the police,
and the officer said that they could not prove that my baby was harmed
since he didn't have a bruise,
and my baby monitor was only on live feed and not simultaneously recording.
Eventually, they got my husband to agree to pack a bag and leave.
He left reluctantly.
He has since been blowing up my phone begging for forgiveness,
talking about how he's been depressed and stressed by the babies,
and that is anxiety and jealousy got the best of him.
I just responded once telling him to go F himself.
I've also been in contact with a lawyer,
and she's advised me to leave him unblocked
in case he further incriminates himself.
I don't even recognize who this man is.
Where did all this come from?
How did this happen?
Has any other parent experienced this?
How did you handle this?
Before y'all start jumping down my throat,
I am absolutely getting a divorce,
and I will do everything in my power to get full custody.
I did take my children to our family doctor,
and they are in good health,
and there are no other signs of abuse.
I filed a police report,
and my lawyer is dealing with it.
I'm also about to start the process of divorce.
And now let's get into some of the top comments.
One user says,
he just wants more and better access to his victims.
This is someone who likes hurting children.
Actual human beings who are stressed and depressed do not sneak around doing things like this for their dopamine hits.
And the O.P responds and says, exactly.
I'm tired, stressed, depressed, and I'm physically still not fully healed from the pregnancy and the birth,
but not once have I thought of hurting anyone, let alone a baby.
I don't buy his BS excuses.
He clearly knew what he was doing was wrong.
Otherwise, he wouldn't have been sneaking around and being all hush-hush.
I do not believe him for one second.
He's a goddamn beastly man.
Another user says, update the monitor to one that records.
And the OPE responds and says,
I've set the monitor up to record now.
I've also ordered a home security system and will be installing it real soon.
And another user says on what the.
the OP is doing to protect the children, and the OP says, I'm doing everything I can to protect them.
This all happened a few days ago, but I am still in the process of getting in temporary restraining order.
My lawyer is handling it, and I understand it takes some time to actually get one,
and in the meantime, I've been advised that I can just deny him visitation,
until he gets a judgment from the courts that forces me to grant him access to my babies,
but that takes time.
So, in the meantime, he can't force me or my babies to see him,
him. I've recorded every call and saved every text, literally documenting everything. Thankfully,
he's saying and texting a gold mine of incriminating things that I hope would be sufficient information
for a judge to give me and my babies a restraining slash protective order and for family court
to grant me primary and sole custody. And another user says, did you tell him you saw the pinch?
And the OP responds and says, yes. He at first,
told me I was imagining things. Then switched to saying he was just frustrated our son wouldn't go to
sleep. Then he started saying that he was angry that our son was interrupting our personal time
and that he was doing it on purpose because the other babies were asleep. So why wasn't he?
Honestly, nothing he says makes sense to me. Like my baby boy was just laying there sleepy
and he would have fallen back to sleep by himself, that bastard actually woke him up with his
pinching and insults. He says he went in their room to check up on this. He says he went in their room to check up on
them and I called BS on that. He went in there to torment my children. Who in their right mind
whispers death to two sleeping babies and another half a sleep baby? And someone else says,
did he tell you that over phone or text? And the OPE says, this was on a call, which I have recorded.
And this guy is just a monster. I just hope he goes to jail. Like this is, this guy is as
trash as a human can get,
but then the OP comes back
three weeks later with
another update and it reads
as follows. How did
it get so wrong? For my 36
female birthday, he
42 male, broke into the
house. Every conversation
with him feels like I'm losing my mind.
The only thing that has kept me
semi-sane and able to track
what he has been doing in my audio journal
and posts on here.
Last week, it was my 30,000,
birthday. Actually, I had forgotten it was my birthday and was reminded by my sister that it was,
in fact, my birthday. I decided I couldn't mope around the house, and I got my kids dressed to go
shopping and get groceries. We got back and I put away half of the groceries, but my babies
were fussy, and so to tire them out and ready them for bed, we went for a walk. When I got back
home, he was in the kitchen cooking and putting away some of the groceries I had left out. He greeted
me and acted normal. I didn't react because his entire demeanor was freaking me out so I played along.
I went upstairs and got the kids down. I did think of walking out the front door, but he was
kind of anticipating it, and so he was following me around, and I thought in the moment that the
best thing I could do was to get my kids upstairs and away from him. He said he wanted to talk and
clear the air because this has gone on too long. We had a long conversation, and it started out
reasonable, but eventually spiraled out of control. We got into physical confrontation because
I refused to let him stay. He tried to physically intimidate me and he, well, hurt me. While he was
hurting me, I was still able to contact the police. It took them a excruciating long 20 to 25 minutes
to get there. So here I am sitting with two completely black and blue eyes, a busted lip,
swollen face, massive knots on my head and bruises all over.
This guy is such a piece of shit.
I hope he goes to jail forever.
I don't know what happened to my life or how I got here, but here I am.
I can't even look at my neighbors in the eyes.
I can't go outside without seeing the shocked faces of people.
I've never felt so ashamed, so humiliated, so hurt, and so utterly stupid.
I thought I made all the right choices in my life.
What did I do wrong?
When did it all get so effed up?
I mean, I think I did everything right.
Like I created a stable life for myself
and picked a man that at the time was a very loving partner.
I married that man and waited five years
before even going through the process of having children with him.
And now once I've had his children,
he's just beating on me and our babies.
Edit, my sister is now aware of what's been happening
and she is supporting me as best as she can.
I have plans to move out, but since I'm not working right now,
I need some time to save up.
His family is also aware.
His family refused to believe that I saw him hurt our child,
but they can't deny his attack now that they've seen my bruises.
Also, yes, he was arrested and he was bailed out by his brother.
He is currently staying with his brother.
And now let's get into some of the top comments.
One user says,
I remember you.
He's the husband that was pinching your baby's son.
please contact your attorney and give them an update and ask for advice on how to handle this.
This will certainly help with the restraining order if you don't already have one.
And obviously, it press charges on everything you possibly can.
I saw your comment that you've already changed the locks and got cameras.
Get a monitor security system and have it armed at all times, even when you're home.
It'll be a pain in the ass.
You'll have to arm and disarm it constantly, but it'll help.
The alarm company will also give you a duress code that you can punch in when you disarm it so that the sirens turns off,
but notifies them to contact the police without it being obvious.
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.
You did nothing wrong.
You did what you're supposed to.
Psychopaths are good at hiding who they are.
This is not your fault.
And when you see your neighbors, tell them my soon-to-be ex-husband did this to me.
I'm working on a restraining order, and he's not allowed to be around.
me or my children.
Please tell me if you see him so I can contact the police.
You hold your head up high and continue to be amazing and the strong woman that you are.
And the OPEE responds and says, thank you for this, especially on what to say to the neighbors.
And another user says, the only person who deserves to feel ashamed, humiliated, or stupid is him.
He is the one who did it wrong.
You are not to blame for any of this.
If he had shown his true self at the beginning,
you never would have built alive with him.
Abusers know this, so they wait until their victim is tied to them,
moving in together or marriage or children,
before they let the mask slip.
You couldn't have known there was a monster behind the mask.
Please try not to blame yourself.
He is the only one responsible for this horrific behavior.
Please keep your children and yourself safe.
you will escape from this nightmare and you will heal and another user says have you changed the locks
is there anyone you can come stay with you any family you can stay with your sister can you get some mace or taser
please please please be careful i'm worried for you and your kids things will only continue to escalate from here
in the opi response and says yes i've changed the locks and i've got security cameras around the house
I am being careful.
Thank you.
And then the OP comes back 15 days later with another update and let's get into it.
This reads,
It was all for the love of another woman who barely knew of his existence.
He hurt my children to further his own selfish desires.
I say all of this without exaggeration.
I am certain he was getting ready to kill us.
After nearly eight months of turmoil, I'm finally close to understanding.
My soon-to-be-ex-husband is in love with a woman he came across on social media,
and he has been obsessing over her for at least a year.
She also happens to be an intimacy worker, and he was paying her for her time and attention.
In his mind, he believed they could have a future together,
if only he could get rid of my children and me.
Even though this woman gave him no inkling
that she even wanted to be with him,
he has spent so much of our money on this woman.
I'm at a loss for words that could accurately describe the situation.
I can barely believe half of the things he's been up to.
I've spent the past few weeks playing detective,
and I finally decided to contact Jessica.
This is obviously not her name,
but I need to call her something.
I contacted Jessica,
and at first she was very reluctant to speak to me,
but I literally begged her,
and she was kind enough to get on the phone with me.
She told me that she had been seeing him for a while,
but she stopped seeing him because he started to scare her.
He was sending her unhinged messages and voicemails.
He had been stalking her and trying to convince her to be with him.
Jessica eventually stopped seeing him and had him blocked,
and I guess this is when he started to escalate,
from emotional abuse to physically hurting me.
He was looking for a way out and in this crazy mind,
killing us would free him because the only reason Jessica wouldn't be with him
was because me and my children were in the way.
During our long call, I also explained to Jessica
what had been happening to me and she was genuinely kind and helpful.
She also agreed to speak to my.
my lawyer and send them the thousands of unhinged texts, voicemails, and voice notes he sent her.
For a little while after our conversation, a part of me genuinely hated Jessica and wanted to blame her for
everything, but the rational part of me pushed out these unreasonable and dangerous thoughts,
especially after I read his disturbing texts and heard his voicemail slash notes to Jessica.
She has also been victimized by him.
Honestly, there is nothing like listening to your husband and father of your children
talk about how you and your children mean nothing to him and how he wishes you were dead.
He could have just asked for a divorce or just got up and left.
I sent him a few texts asking him why.
This was a one-time thing and since then I've stopped all contact.
Why do all of this?
Why torment my babies?
Why not just walk away?
He responded with a message saying,
any conversation between us should be through our lawyers.
His parents have him lawyered up.
They know what he's been up to and they've chosen to protect him.
His father came to see me and in a not so direct way suggested he could pay me
if I stopped talking about what his son has done and was planning to do.
Ever since he broke into the house and pretty much tried to kill me,
I've told anyone who'd listen what he has done.
At this point, even his colleagues know.
And now let's get into some of the top comments.
One person says, what was he like before all of this?
Were there any signs?
And the OP says, we've been married for nearly eight years.
We'll actually be eight years and two months.
We never had any issues.
Sure, we had minor squabbles, but that was few and far in between.
Never did I have any issues that would lead me to think that he'd tried to
hurt us, let alone kill us. It was during my pregnancy and birth that he became verbally and
emotionally abusive. This is also the time period he met Jessica and started fantasizing about
running away with her. He was angry and jealous that my attention was more on the pregnancy
and the babies and this built resentment towards me and my children. It also pushed him more into
his obsession with Jessica, and when he was also rejected by her, he spiraled into this insane
mindset. At the same time, he escalated into verbally and physically hurting us, and when I found
out he hurt my children, I attacked him. I caught him hurting my son and me physically fought,
and my neighbors called the police, and he was escorted out of the house. Then it came back
and broke into the house. He attacked me and beat me into a bloody mess. He was arrested for this.
I've since detained a lawyer and I've been granted emergency custody and a protective order.
And another user says, again, why isn't he in jail?
And the O.P says he is out on bail.
And then the OPE comes back two and a half weeks later with an update titled,
My husband has been arrested for stalking and attempting to abduct his former mistress.
And it reads as follows.
Last week, Thursday, at approximately 2 a.m. in the morning, my husband of nearly eight years was arrested outside of Jessica's home.
The intimate worker he met online and used to pay to spend time with him until he started to creeper out by his stalking and obsession.
When he was arrested, they found in his truck small baggies with drug residue and they also found tools of abduction.
I honestly do not know what these are exactly.
My soon-to-be ex-father-in-law called me at around 4.45 to 4.50 a.m.
to tell me that his son was arrested.
My father-in-law was the one who used the term tools of abduction.
When I asked him what the hell that means, he said he didn't have time for my interrogation tactics.
He then asked if I could help him find a lawyer for them and to stand by his son throughout all of this.
when I said to him,
how the hell am I supposed to find a lawyer this early in the morning?
He lost his shit and then was just screaming at me.
My soon-to-be ex-mother-in-law took over the phone,
telling me that I'm a goddamn bitch
and that this was all my fault.
I stopped the phone call before she could say more.
I never knew this man to take drugs.
Sure, he drank occasionally, but hard drugs.
I honestly don't know what's happening anymore.
or how I got here.
I mean, it does make sense he was on
Bougar's sugar the past seven to eight months now
that I look back at things.
I mean, I don't even know anything about drugs
to be able to recognize the behavioral pattern,
but once I researched it, it seemed clear.
The moodiness, the disappearances, the lies, the anger,
the sudden outburst, and the violence.
It all points to drug usage,
as well as him being a P-O-S.
His parents and the rest of his family
has called and texted me so much abusive stuff
and they occasionally switch to
begging me to go see him or pick up his calls,
but I have mainly ignored them.
I don't have the time, the energy,
or the love that has needed to be there
for this man or his parents.
I've given him eight years of my love and attention,
and he spat it back into my face
during the hardest and most vulnerable time of my life.
Also, why would they think I'd help him after everything he's done?
Especially since, I think he deserves to be in jail
for not only hurting my children,
but also for hurting me and Jessica.
I hope and pray he's jailed for the rest of his natural life.
I mean, I've tried to be a good wife,
but he has attacked me, my children,
and he has lied and tormented us,
and I'm supposed to help him?
I don't even know how I got here.
How did we get here?
I've packed everything up and I'm leaving.
I'm disappearing with my kids.
And anything else between me and these people can be handled through my lawyer.
The only person who knows where I'm moving to is my lawyer and my sister.
I mean, what else can I do to protect my children?
His entire family blames me.
And how do I keep my head high when I'm now being treated like I'm in even?
and disgusting person by pretty much everyone I once called the family.
These people are trying to destroy me inside and out,
and I don't know how to survive them.
How am I supposed to rebuild my life when they won't stop tormenting me?
In less than a year of their birth,
I've managed to fail my children.
And now let's get into some of the top comments.
One user says,
Change your surname slash the kids' surnames.
And the OP says,
My kids and I have double-barreled surnames, my surname and their dads.
When I can, we will drop his and will all go by just mine.
And another user says, oh wow, from your post history,
it seems like you both had a stable life and planned and tried hard to start a family.
I'm so sorry to you and your kids.
I, too, was in a relationship and he just switched in a span of three days.
I blamed myself so much because it clearly must have been something I did.
In the end, I figured out that an asshole is an asshole.
It was just my turn.
You need to protect your babies and yourself.
A healthy and happy mom equals happy and healthy babies.
I'm wishing you the very best.
And the OPE replies and says,
Oh my God, thank you so much for this because everything was so normal and fine until the end of my pregnancy.
and it escalated after the birth of my kids.
It was like a switch was flipped.
Suddenly, he's lying, screaming, irritable, aggressive, critical, controlling, and just overly secretive.
I'm glad you escaped.
And someone else says, listen to me very closely.
You did not fail your children.
Their father and his family failed them.
The best thing you can do now is get out safely, and it seems like you're in the process of that now.
I hope the best for you and your kids.
may you get out safely
and may you be free of that abusive POS
and his abusive family.
And someone else says,
I'm so sorry you're going through this.
As much as what I'm about to say sucks,
what is your lawyer said about you disappearing?
In some places, that can cost you a lot
in the divorce slash custody arena.
Unfortunately, despite the nature of his crimes,
his scribes,
some courts would order you to take the kiddos
to visit their father during incarceration.
Secondly, if by some miracle you can disappear, ask your attorney about how to change names
and things like social security numbers for yourself and the kiddos.
Otherwise, you are easily trackable.
Thirdly, I'd ask a lawyer about getting a new phone and number and just giving him possession
of the old one to gather evidence from the Texan voicemails.
I'd also be snooping on all devices.
Through all paperwork and digging out hiding places in the home, gathering evidence when I'm
able to. Fourthly,
Tools of Abduction is a catch-all term that can be used to describe a collection of items found
together, many in which would it be concerning on their own in other circumstances. Things like
duct tape or rope, gloves, mask. They can also include things like a weapon or a substance to knock
out a potential victim. It's not something to take lightly, at all. Fifthly, and most importantly,
this isn't your failure. It isn't your fault. This lies,
solely and completely on his shoulders.
The important thing is to do everything you can to protect yourself and your children.
And the O.P. says,
I currently have emergency custody.
My lawyer is the one who suggested to disappear, meaning moving to new house and not letting
anyone know, because she says this is a great time of great danger, and I wholeheartedly
agree.
Since my ex-husband first went to look for me at the house, but me and my children went
to stay somewhere else for a few days because I was scared he'd come back after he broke into the
house previously and attacked me. Thank you for explaining what tools of abduction is, and thank you
for the information. I will keep that in mind. And unfortunately, we have never received another
update from the OP, but this is just a terrifying and heartbreaking Reddit thread, and I hope
the OP's children are doing better now.
And before we move on to the next Reddit thread, I want to let you guys know about my Patreon.
I know I talked about it in the intro, but I want to let you guys know again because it truly
does have some great content, and I think you get some great value out of it.
You get weekly bonus videos where I read some of the most explicit and crazy confessions
I've ever received from fans that I can't put on YouTube, and also I read some of the most
disturbing Reddit threads I've ever come across that I also can't put on YouTube,
and also you get exclusive live streams every single Thursday,
it's super fun we hang out talk about stuff i read some stories sometimes and i do it for a few hours
every single thursday you also get exclusive discord access i'd love to say hello to you over there
and also you can submit your confessions and write it stories and that sort of stuff over there it's easier
for me to see and also you get early access to every single video i release and add free content
i think you get your money's worth out of it and so i would love for you to join the community it is only
five dollars a month i think you get your money's worth out of it and the link is in the
first link in the description and the pin comment i can't wait to see you over there and anyways
on to the next one a close friend has anonymously posted dead people pictures and intimate stories
and photoshopped pictures of me 23 female i feel like i'm in a horror movie right now
and i don't want to leave my house i got a message on twitter from a blank
profile with no photo or posts.
The message was a link to a account with about 30 plus stories in a photo gallery.
The message said, you should feel lucky knowing I want you so much.
Just that line made me feel disgusted.
I glanced through the stories and the main character had my full name and were really
effed up.
I don't want to go into detail, but tags were
amputation, pet interest, drowning in piss, dismemberment, and having intimacy with a dead body,
etc. I couldn't read this story and I was already crying knowing somebody wrote this.
I couldn't hold back and looked at the photo gallery and there were about a dozen photoshopped
pictures of me covered in blood, blue skin and lips. And my face,
photoshopped onto a corpse. I kept telling myself it was a dumb guy trying to freak me out
and I wish it had been, but the photos that were shopped were all from my Facebook and I only have
73 friends on it. My photos are locked. You can only see them if we're friends and all my friends
are either family or extremely close pals. I haven't posted these photos on any other social media
places and some were only taken a few days ago. I'm really afraid to speak with anyone right now.
I've ignored everyone today. I'm so freaked out at the thought of someone I know, a close friend
thinking about that type of thing. I don't know how to find out who it is and it's eating at me
deep. Any ideas on how to find who has been posting these? And now let's get into some of the top
comments. One user says,
Do not respond to this individual.
OP, this is really
important. This person wants
you to react with fear and anger.
It will only bring them sick
enjoyment if you acknowledge them
in any way and may lead to
them harassing you further.
And then the OP responds and says,
I didn't respond and don't intend
to if they message me
again. Also, shortly after
the message was sent, the
Twitter account used was deleted.
Another user says,
Do you post often on that Facebook account this person is taking the pictures from?
I would do an experiment where you post a picture,
but change your settings so that it's only visible to a few people on your friends list.
I would then repeat this process with different pictures
and then wait to see if a specific picture gets used in another story.
With such few friends on your list,
I'm thinking it should be pretty easy to narrow down who might be behind
these horrific stories and images.
I also want to stress that you definitely should report this to the police, make sure
it's documented in some way, and don't wait until the situation escalates.
You're dealing with an extremely effed up person at the very least.
And someone replies and says, this could work, O.P.
I remember a user from R slash creepy pms used this tactic to find out who is sending her
creepy messages about her Facebook statuses.
Turns out, it was her brother.
And someone else says,
God damn, that's some call coming from inside the house stuff right there.
And the O.P. response and says,
I just finished reading that and my stomach is churning.
And someone else responds and says,
this is terrifying that someone can be so close and do that.
I need to really analyze who can be trusted right now.
and someone else says
Go to the police
Have an officer come out to your house immediately
They may try and talk you out of filing a police report
They did the same with me
Do not let them talk you out of filing one
You need a record of this
And then the OP responds and says
I filed a report and they did try and talk me out of it
Saying it's probably just a dumb kid messing around
But after a long explanation
And reviewing the pages it went through
In the end they still see
said it was low priority, but they would try.
And someone else says, the first thing I would do is call the police and tell them about it.
It's unlikely that they'll be able to do anything about it now, but it'll be the start of
gathering evidence if this person sends you anything else or does something more threatening
that the police can do something about it.
I'd suggest cross-posting this to R-slash legal advice to see if there's anything more you can
do that I'm not thinking of.
Double check that your settings allow only friends and not friends of friends to see your photos.
Any photos you have of yourself that also have friends of yours tagged in them
will also probably be visible to friends of those friends, but I'm not totally sure about that.
And then the OPE makes a tiny update edit to the post that reads,
Thank you all so much for the support and advice.
With the help of my cousin, who is a cop, I have filed a report.
They said they would do their best, but it's kind of low priority at the moment.
A few officers and lovely Reddit users suggested I set up a Facebook trap, and I did.
I took five photos that are all about the same with a small difference,
necklace, ring, hairpin, and modified the custom view setting.
Now we wait and hope it works.
And then we don't hear from the OP for quite a while, about five weeks,
but five weeks later, the OP comes back with a terrifying update.
And let's get into it.
It reads,
I've been putting off writing this update for a few days now.
The thought of it makes me nauseous,
but I think you all deserve a follow-up after helping me through this.
I'll start by saying the person has been caught.
I'll lead up the details.
In the original post, I made a small update,
that I was setting a trap on Facebook by posting multiple photos that were slightly different
and only visible to certain groups.
Unfortunately, this did not work because the Twitter account removed this post and the account.
I'm happy it's gone, but I don't have another way to find out.
I tried pushing it out of my mind and took a break from social media.
Also, my cousin, Dan, police officer M27, moved in with after this,
and it really helped me feel safe.
For about three weeks, I didn't go out,
aside from work and errands,
put off friends who at the time didn't know why.
I figured it was easier to shut out everyone
until I was more comfortable.
By this point, I just accepted that it was a effed up prank
or someone else using a friend's account
and that I needed to move on.
Out of the blue, I get a visit from a girl,
Lori.
I know her as the off-on-on-girlfriend of David,
M-34, although this was my first time meeting or speaking to her.
David was like a big brother to my cousin Dan.
When Dan moved to L.A., David let him stay with him until he got a job.
David helped him get his first car.
David introduced him to his ex-wife and later helped him through the divorce.
I also saw him as the nice guy that helped Dan and I through rough times.
Lori is crying and having a breakdown on my porch.
I couldn't make out a word she was saying through the wheezing and sobbing.
She calms down a bit and says she's called the cops on David.
Then she told me everything.
She had been getting into fights with him after he kept talking about me,
bringing me up at inappropriate times.
She was convinced he was cheating on her and she looked through his laptop hoping to find photos or messages.
She found screenshots of the Photoshop pictures.
and also a collection of illegal content involving minors.
My heart breaks just typing this.
How can people be so disgusting?
Oh my God.
He has a four-year-old daughter.
They found videos of her too, Jesus Christ.
I don't know anything about the arrest
other than he can't afford post-bail
and called Dan and our friends begging for help
after his family said they want nothing to do with him
no one will.
I don't know how to end this post.
I guess I really hoped this was just a effed-up joke on me,
but it led to something so much more horrible.
And now let's get into the top comments.
Someone says, well, that was even worse than I expected.
Someone else says, O.P., it's so terrible, something like this happened to you.
I would strongly suggest going to the police and telling them that you're the photoshopped girl in those pictures
and let them know that you currently have a police report on file about him uploading them to the internet.
This will help the DA strengthen their case against him and protect you further.
Also, how close are you to Lori?
It must have been really hard for her to approach you and come to you for help.
Make it clear to her that you don't blame her for suspecting you are sleeping with him.
You, her, and the kid absolutely need a good support network right now more than ever.
And this was just one of the most horrific posts I've ever read.
I mean, I was not, you know, expecting that update post to go that way.
I mean, already starting off in the first post, it was already so scary and so disturbing.
Someone uploading Photoshopped pictures of you on dead bodies and just, you know, gross and bloody photos is just a nightmare.
Horror movie situation as is.
But then for one of your friends to approach you and say they found out he had, you know, explicit photos of his, oh my God, young daughter and other illegal content involving minors is just, it's so horrific.
So horrific.
I hope that guy goes to jail and they just throw away the key.
and he is never released because,
God.
Yeah, he just needs to go to jail forever.
Woman finds out her husband has been doing unspeakably nasty things in the kitchen.
I found a jar that my husband has been jerking into, and I threw it away.
He got very upset with me.
So I am a woman in my 30s.
I made a throwaway account because I don't want this tied to my main account at all.
Yesterday, our garbage disposal stopped working, and I was trying to see why, so I was looking around under the sink,
and I moved stuff out to get in there to look around more easily.
In the very back, tucked away was a mason jar that I thought was just over halfway full of kitchen grease at first,
but I realized it wasn't grease.
I thought it looked like he'd jerked into it.
into it. I made the mistake of opening it and the smell I knew that it definitely was that. I couldn't
believe what I was seen. Disgusted, I threw it away in the dumpster outside. It had to have been
my husband's, but I don't know why he would have such a jar. My husband got home and I asked him
about it. He seemed very embarrassed and confessed it was indeed a jar full of you know what he was
filling for almost a year. I was shocked and asked him why. He said whenever it was my time of the
month or I wasn't in the mood, he'd jerk it into the jar after I went to bed. I asked him why not,
you know, go to the toilet or use tissues or something. Why a jar? He couldn't answer that other
than saying he's been doing this since he was a kid. I told him I wanted to stop using a jar because
it's disgusting. He told me he doesn't want to.
and asked where his jar was.
I told him I threw it away and he was upset.
He said it took him a long time.
What the hell, dude?
He said it took him a long time to fill the jar that much
and now he just has to start over
and we argued about him using a jar to store his stuff in.
I still don't understand why he wants to fill a jar for F's sake.
We argued about it and during the argument
he opened the refrigerator,
took a large jar of pickles and dumped it out
and started rinsing it out and said,
this is the new jar now.
Before I knew it, I'm literally screaming at my husband about jerking it into jars
and told him he shouldn't do that.
He clutched the jar and stormed off to the bathroom.
I was literally speechless.
I sat down and started watching TV trying to take my mind off it
when he came out and joined me and tried to patch things up.
I asked him where he hid the jar and he wouldn't tell me.
He told me we should just forget about the fight.
He apologized to me and told me
He'd make sure I didn't have to see the jar if I didn't want to
I wanted us to stop fighting so I agreed
And we didn't speak about it for the rest of the night
He fell asleep early but I laid in bed for over an hour
Thinking about that effing jar
I don't understand why he's so intent on doing something so disgusting
And I'm still so angry about it
And then the OPE comes back three hours later
With an update and let's get into it
This reads, my husband got home and we sat down and talked.
After a lot of prine, I got him to come clean with me about why he does it to a jar and why is it in the kitchen.
He gets very excited when I eat his jerk juice.
I don't even know what to call it, dude.
What the hell is going on?
And he makes pancakes every weekend for breakfast.
and he mixes the stuff into the pancake batter
and gets off on me eating it
without my knowledge or consent, dude.
What the hell?
He has been doing this regularly for our entire marriage
and has mixed his stuff into other things I've eaten or drank.
Holy shit, dude.
This is the worst to write a threat I've ever read.
This is actually horrific.
I have, of course,
swallowed his stuff before, but this is different because he did this without my knowing. I honestly
couldn't yell at him or even say anything. I felt numb. I just got up and started throwing shit in a bag
while he tried to talk me down and stop me. I ended up leaving with some bare essentials and told him
that I need space and will reach out to him when I'm ready. I'm taking some time off of work and
headed to a friend's house for a few days. I asked her if I could stay and she doesn't know why,
and honestly, I don't know what to tell her or anything.
anyone else for that matter. I don't know what I'm going to do and what this means for our marriage.
I feel disgusted, used, and like trust in my husband has been severely damaged. I haven't cried
or done anything yet. I stopped to get a bite to eat on the way to my friend's house and try to figure
out what to say to her because I know she'll have questions. I also think I need to cry first.
Thank you to everyone who's been kind and supportive and offered good advice. Please keep it coming
because I feel like I'm drowning here
and I have no idea
what to do
and just
I don't even have any words
this is just genuinely the most
insane and just
downright disgusting
right at the threat I've ever read I feel so bad for this poor lady
like to find that out
that your husband has been doing that to you for years
putting his
I don't even know what to call it juices
ew that is so gross
into your food for years without your knowledge.
That is horrific and so gross.
And like I wonder how she, you know, is going to approach this
and how she's going to tell her parents about their divorce
and her friends about all of this.
Like, this is just crazy, dude.
And we never received another update from the O.P.
Because the O.P's account was shortly after banned.
But, man, yeah, this is one of the grossest red of threads I've ever read.
My brother is a danger.
I'm looking for weight to protect my family.
I'm a married mom of three kids, six years old and younger.
My little brother is almost two decades younger than me.
He has high functioning autism and developmental delay related to a brain injury when he was born.
I helped raise him as much as I could, but our parents are pretty emotionally abusive,
so I wasn't there a lot and we had grown apart a bit as he became a teen.
He has done better than expected in life,
graduating high school and attending a semester of college
before getting a job, cleaning the hospital.
I helped him apply for the job,
and when he had a mental breakdown,
I blamed myself for helping him get the job.
He felt S-word and like he wanted to hurt someone for two months this summer.
He has very few, if any, friends,
never had a romantic relationship
and was obsessed with guns for a few years.
I told my parents and other siblings he should not have guns when I learned he had them.
His roommate joked he got into guns and would get my husband into guns.
To which I responded with, do not even try.
We are not gun people.
Anyway, in August, after reading bedtime stories to my kids, I got a text for my brother.
He came over.
He said he went to the desert to commit S word, but chickened out.
I made him dinner and took him to a crisis center.
I later learned he had plans to shoot up the hospital he was working at,
specifically the children's unit.
He planned to take hostages.
He wanted to be a threat to the police so the police would take him out.
He purchased several guns in tactical gear,
including an AR weapon and a milk crate full of bullets.
He S-Aid, a family dog.
He had plans to kill my parents and suicide.
sisters. Police and FBI was involved. He spent two months in a mental health hospital. I spoke with him
by phone every few days. I believed he could get better with the medicine therapy. He was released
two weeks ago, and he said he felt better than ever, and did not have any intrusive thoughts anymore.
He got a dating app and was applying for jobs. He moved back in with our parents and was spending
quality time with them. On Halloween, my dad called me and said my brother is back in the mental
hospital. Apparently, two weeks ago, he lied to the hospital to get discharged. He had active plans
of killing my parents. He bought a huge axe, a Halloween mask and gloves. He covered the axe handle
with the tape. My parents found this in the car trunk. The car he gave them a ride in. He
My brother admitted that he planned to kill them in their sleep on Halloween night.
He planned to kill my dad first, then my mom.
Then he planned to wear the gloves to stay warm in the forest so he could hide.
My dad called the FBI agent to come get all their stuff they found in the trunk.
They think the tape on the axe handle is to prevent slipping with blood.
I'm horrified.
My brother called a couple times from the hospital.
He says he's ashamed.
He admits to all of it.
He says they will likely keep him for a bit, but he's already trying to figure out college and work.
A living situation after release.
I'm not a gun person.
Should I get a gun and a gun safe?
Should we get home security?
I feel like my brother will try to hurt us, and I want to do my best to protect ourselves.
Any advice is appreciated.
And now let's get into some of the top comments.
Someone says,
I'm scared for you and your kids.
Intrusive thoughts to kill you and your family is a very real possibility.
He will never recover.
My number one priority would be to relocate where you can't have access to my kids.
No social media.
Your parents should do the same.
And someone replies and says,
This was my first thought.
Get out of your house.
Get your parents out of their home.
sell their homes and make sure he can never ever find you where you move i would probably rent
in the new location or only buy a home through a trust with a legal name that does not match yours
or your husbands property transfer data is public record do not register to vote at your new address
voter rolls are public record and that is the other source where most publicly available address
data comes from and another user says people are telling you to buy you to buy
gun. But I think the first question is do you think you'll be able to use it to shoot your brother
in self-defense? If you're shooting someone, the intent is to kill? Could you kill him to protect
yourself and your kids? If the answer is yes, buy the gun and take a safety class. If the answer is
no, the most protective option for you is to move. Move, invest in home security, and let no one in
his social circle ever find out where you went. And another user says, if he knows your address
and you have children, you need to effing move. I know that may seem impossible, but it is absolutely
necessary. He cannot know where you are. He cannot be able to just walk into your house. You need to
move and cut off all contact with him. I'm sure this is utterly heartbreaking for you. But from all
the details you're providing, it doesn't seem like it is possible for your brother to recover,
or be rehabilitated.
You need to cut all contact for safety
and the safety of your kids.
He will eventually kill you if you don't.
I worked in a psych unit of a hospital for a long time.
I saw many, many situations
where an imbalanced adult child
attempted to kill their parents
slash caretakers slash family.
It's incredibly sad,
but you cannot help them.
You can only help yourself and your family
by making sure he is no
longer a part of your life. Again, I'm truly sorry that you're going through this. I can't even
imagine the heartbreak for your family. And the OP adds some context on how the police are involved,
and the OP says, the police have been involved. For a few weeks, I was getting calls from them
pretty regularly regarding my brother. They put in a court date for him not to be able to purchase
guns. And the FBI agent is also involved. I'm not sure if a restraining order, would
protect us physically if my brother decided to do something.
I haven't told my kids to watch out if they see their uncle yet, but I probably should.
I'm just not sure how to proceed.
You're right that I do feel responsible for him since I helped raise him.
But I had some therapy to help.
I know my responsibility is to protect my family.
And then the OP comes back three months later with an update titled,
My brother can't stop thinking about killing me in my kids.
kids and let's get into it.
I posted about my brother on this subreddit three months ago and got great advice.
Unfortunately, we are still dealing with it and it got worse.
And then basically the OP just recaps what we just read in the first post, but let's just
move on a little bit and just move on further down the post.
And the OPE continues and said, the prosecutor, both state and federal, would in charge him,
buying guns and acts and having thoughts about.
hurting people is not a crime they told us. My dad got a protection order against him. My mom is
convinced she can fix him. My sisters are in college and far from his reach. I spoke with him by phone
every few days, not revealing details about my life, but hoping that keeping contact could provide
some safety for me and my kids. I helped raise him. I changed his diapers when he was a baby.
He is my little brother, and I felt scared that cutting off contact completely would put us on the shit list.
At this point, he hadn't said we were a target.
He asked if he could live with me, my husband and my kids upon discharge.
I told him no.
I had to think of my kids.
He said he understood.
He said his pills and antipsychotic meds were helping.
He told me about his friends in the hospital, his art, books, etc.
I tried to be supportive of his therapy, encouraging him to keep taking meds and being honest with his doctors.
He called me from the hospital on Monday multiple times.
I was at work seeing patients so I couldn't talk.
I picked up finally.
He said he regrets not shooting up the hospital.
He said he can't stop thinking about buying a sledgehammer and coming to my house, breaking in using it, then using it to kill me.
and the kids, and my husband.
He sounded like he was smiling and waiting for a reaction.
It seemed like he was telling me because he got a kick out of it.
I tried to stay calm and not give him the satisfaction.
I told him that's disturbing,
that he should talk to his doctor about it,
and that I had to get back to work.
He said, I love you, and stopped the phone call.
I called the hospital and his doctor told me he's admitted to wanting to kill me and my husband and kids.
He told her that if he can't get a sledgehammer, he wants to break into our backyard,
break the glass back door with a brick, run up the stairs, bedroom area,
and kill as many of us as he can before he gets caught.
She said the meds are not working on him.
She said they can't keep him in the hospital long term.
No residential facility will accept him due to his case file.
So worst case scenario, he may be released on the street.
In fact, they nearly released him on the third.
And like, before I continue, like, I just have, like, this is crazy.
Like, how can a person explicitly say they want to kill someone?
They have plans to commit a mass, you know, a mass tragedy.
And they get let out on the street?
Like, how does this not count for something like a threat to society or a threat to, you know, someone?
Like, this is insane to me.
And this poor woman and her kids and her parents have to worry for their lives.
This is horrible.
But let's continue.
I called police and press charges still waiting to hear if prosecutor will accept.
I went to court today and got a protection order for myself and my kids.
I couldn't file for my husband.
I told my parents, sisters, school, my employer.
My mom said she's known he wanted to hurt someone for.
for three weeks. I'm not a huge fan of my mom, and I was pissed. She didn't communicate that to
anyone. I asked my husband to consider moving ASAP. He is refusing. My sedentary, 5-7, 160-pound husband,
says he can take my brother, who is 6'3, and over 200 pounds. I argued with my husband
several days in a row about it, but he thinks we are safest in our home. He is thinking about
getting a gun and staying put is the best choice.
He says the security system he bought months ago,
but hasn't installed yet would alert police,
and they'd be here in 10 minutes to help.
He says he would wake from the sound of glass breaking
and either take on my brother
or push heavy furniture to block the stairs.
I worry he isn't taking this seriously.
And like, that guy isn't taking this seriously.
Oh yeah, yeah, they'd be here in 10 minutes.
The police would be here in 10 minutes.
Do you know how much someone who is direct,
ranged and wants to kill you can do in 10 minutes.
They can do a lot in 10 minutes.
And also, like, you think you'd be sound enough of mind, like, waking up in the middle of the night to, like, push heavy furniture.
Like, this is for everyone watching.
Like, please take your home security seriously because, like, in the heat of the moment, you won't be able to think straight.
You need to have serious, you know, protections in place because you won't be thinking straight in the heat of the moment.
when someone is threatening to hurt you or, you know, steal things from you.
But anyways, let's continue.
The OP says, I'm pushing forward with moving.
I set up a visit with the bank to see if we can sell the house slash buy a new one.
And I'm contacting a lawyer to set up a trust so I can pay bills and purchase the new home under the trust.
This means it is more difficult to find our address online.
My husband refuses to talk about it or engage.
He's not helping make any arrangements.
It stresses him out too much.
I told him that once I hear that my brother is released from the hospital,
I am grabbing the to-go bag and the kids and leaving.
He can stay in his house and fight my brother.
I can't control what my husband does, but I feel that I can't risk it.
My kids are too precious.
I don't want my husband to be at risk,
but I'm exhausted from trying to convince him we need to move.
We are not safe in our home.
And now let's get into some of the top comments.
One user says,
So your husband is willing to let your small children be traumatized by watching their uncle trying to kill him
and threatened to kill him because he thinks he's capable of stopping him?
What does he think is the outcome here?
And another user says,
I would legitimately leave my husband if he was dumb enough to prioritize his own ego over his family's safety.
Your husband thinks he can take your brother and thus is too lazy to bother with a move,
which is admittedly a lot of work, but you have a very valid reason for doing it.
My husband would move in an instant if there were realistic death threats not only to me,
but to his own child.
There is nothing more important to him than our safety,
and he would take charge of every bit of the move.
Men sometimes get stuck in this idea of manliness being,
I'm strongest, but true manly than this is being able to realize when you don't need to one-up
someone and you can solve issues in other ways. And I would cut contact with anyone who enables him,
like your mother, still thinking she can fix him. Contact with her risks revealing vital
information about your lives that could risk your safety. And another user says,
I'm sorry, but no one can fight a mentally ill person during an episode.
They have superhuman strength.
Your husband would not stand a chance against him.
You need to leave.
You need to protect your kids and yourself.
If your brother gets inside, even with a security system in place,
all of you would be gone before cops even got there.
I'm sorry you and your family are going through this.
You will be in my prayers.
Be safe.
And then one commenter asks what the police are doing
and the OP says
the police and federal law enforcement
are taking it seriously
but there isn't much that can be done
buying weapons
and thinking about killing others
isn't a crime the prosecutor
would take
are you joking me
but I know my children are not safe
and now my husband has come around to the idea
that we have to get out of Dodge
and like
oh my God
I feel like every time I read these Reddit threads
Like I'm just blown away by like what cops will and won't take seriously.
Like how is that not a crime?
I feel like that I thought that was a crime like to buy weapons and think about killing people.
Like how is this guy not in jail or like held somewhere?
Because obviously he's not mentally fit to be in society.
But the OP comes back a few days later with an update and it's titled,
My Husband, Hurt My Feelings Tonight, Looking for Support.
We are going through a challenging as FC.
in a life. My brother threatened to kill all of us. We are safe for now, but I know he will try to
hurt us if he gets out of the mental hospital. My husband wanted to stay and fight my brother
if he comes to kill us. I argued and begged my husband to leave the state to protect our three
young children. I lost my mind and he had a panic attack and threatened divorce if he insists on staying
in our house so he can fight my enormous brother to protect us. He agreed to move, but very begrudgingly.
He tells me daily that I'm ruining everyone's lives, our children's, his, that I'm moving us all to bring myself comfort.
Regardless, our move is set.
We are working to sell our house here and move.
I've been looking at houses, found a real estate agent, arranged a meeting with the bank,
applied and accepted a job in the new state, while constantly trying to get his feedback.
I'm working full-time and dealing with police and court and trying to,
get a new license to practice in the new state.
He is hurt.
He's pissed that I'm making him move.
He doesn't feel the same level of threat.
He genuinely feels like I'm ruining our life.
Tonight, I was looking at houses in the area we are moving to.
I sent him a few.
He said he wants a house under one million.
With half an acre, more than 3,000 square foot lot,
five plus bedrooms, newer than 2,000.
He sends me a picture of a house he liked and would buy now.
It was falling apart in the middle of a mud lot, filthy and very, very far from work.
Part of the wall was collapsed.
I said that we should consider less than half an acre lot.
There are great homes, but we would have to compromise.
There are homes that fit his dream, but they're more expensive houses than our budget.
He asked, you do know how mortgages work right?
in a condescending tone.
I said, no, because I've never bought a house before.
He said,
You did your research, right?
You always tell me to read parenting books.
I do ask him to read parenting books.
I send him articles, since he's an engineer.
He often needs me to show him studies and articles to support my points.
And then he will pick the articles apart.
He argues most requests and disagrees in most cases.
I often feel stupid with him.
But at work, I'm often.
told I'm quite smart, knowledgeable, and I feel validated. I am a medical provider, and coworkers
and patients have made me feel like I'm considerate and caring. I feel like asking him to just agree
or be kinder and softer isn't messed up. I think moving has to happen, and I wouldn't push for
it unless I thought my brother's threats were real. I think reading up about parenting when you have
to parent every day is smart, especially since he gets very irritated by the chaos kids bring
and says he's effing tired, or in a nightmare all the time. I tried to read up about mortgages,
but I am honestly having a tough time. It isn't my strong suit. I said we should rent for a while
and save. He said, well, we don't have a choice in a snarky tone. I wished he would have said
something simple like, yeah, I agree. Or yeah, I think so.
Just be kind.
I started crying and left.
We've been together for 12 years and I love our kids.
And I love him.
But this has been constant for our whole relationship.
And my brother, threatening to hurt us,
just effed up our already strained relationship.
I feel defeated.
And now let's get into some of the top comments.
One user says,
judging by this in your earlier posts,
he is highly contemptuous towards you.
This is what Gottman calls one of the four horsemen, which predict the failure of a relationship.
It also sounds like he's very critical.
Horseman number two, read this article, tell him to F off and stop telling you that you're ruining everyone's lives.
Because his delusions of fighting your brother are just that.
Delusions.
And you don't want your family to be killed.
Honestly, I would be dragging him to counseling, except that I doubt you have time for that.
Once you're safely in the new place, counseling is a must because the way he treats you is unacceptable.
And another user says, I remember your previous posts and the fear I felt for you all.
Even if your brother is never free again, I think you need to move due to all the negative connotations.
Your husband, I see, continues to be completely delusional.
I'm sorry that even after everything, he still can't see that.
unbelievable really there are a number of financial advisors sometimes within property service providers
that can sit with you for half an hour or so to explain the basics of mortgages it's not overly
difficult once explained correctly and do not accept your husband belittling you on this matter
he has no right to be so damned rude if you have to move by yourself do so make it an adventure
for your children you deserve a free and happy life
But remind your husband that he will have to relinquish any access in order to keep them and you safe,
while he sits alone waiting for your brother to arrive and kill him.
Really, your husband needs a wake-up shovel to the face.
You are not and nor ever will be ruining everything by keeping yourself and your children safe.
Tell him to step up and start being positive.
This could be such a lovely experience all around,
so he needs to drag his butt up to the here and now.
And then the O.P. comes back about a month later with another update titled Update,
Mom Whose Brother Threaten to Kill Her and Family, and the update reads as follows.
Hi, everyone. I'm so grateful to this community and the incredible support.
I'm posting this to update you about our case.
My brother called and threatened to kill me and my friend to kill me and my.
my husband and kids about two months ago. He also has a history of getting guns and axe
and other supplies with plans to commit other murders. He has hurt a dog when he was younger,
but did not hurt people yet. It has been horrible and difficult, and I'm not sure that I could
have survived emotionally without my friends, colleagues, and this community. You gave me amazing
advice. We are moving this upcoming weekend. My husband has been more supportive with the
move, even though he still feels that he could take on my brother. I'm not interested in physically
confronting my brother. I don't want to live in constant fear. Meds in the psych hospital didn't help him.
I think the only thing that will help is a long-term, inpatient unit, but our state doesn't have
those resources. My brother was released from the hospital, straight to jail. He currently awaits
his court date in May. I met with the prosecutor today and gave my statement. They put his bail
at half a million dollars. The highest, the detective I've been working with, has seen for a misdemeanor.
His lawyer requested to lower it, but the judge refused to lower the bail amount. I was told
the judge is aware of his previous serious plans and preparations to kill. The prosecutor plans to go for
the most jail time possible for this. A year. I don't know. I don't know.
if jail's right for him, but if he is released, he will hurt someone. I spoke with my dad,
and he was so mad at me for speaking with the police. He kept saying how my brother was asking for help
and sharing his fantasies with me, not threatening me. He kept telling me to withdraw my statement.
That is just actually the most insane thing I've ever heard. Oh, he's just sharing his fantasy
with me. His fantasies of threatening to kill me. That is a threat. God, that guy's such an idiot.
but let's continue he said that i am the one that put my brother in jail it broke my heart god that is so
horrible that the dad is making the op feel this way um i told my dad that i only told the police the
truth i told him my brother is sick and will hurt someone my dad said you don't have a crystal ball
true but he's made his intentions clear again and again and again his doctor said he has no
empathy his only thrill is thinking about hurting others the process of the process
Prosecutor said that even if I withdraw my complaint, the state is still bringing these charges.
The social worker and prosecutor said this to my parents, but my dad, mom, and sister kept insisting
that I need to recant my statement.
I am terrified of every small noise in the house.
We are leaving our friends and everyone we know and moving because of my brother's actions.
I feel so heartbroken that my dad and family are blind to it.
everyone else police and medical staff included can see the clear writing on the wall and now let's get into some of the top comments one person says please keep your location private from your family while they downplay the threat your brother poses they are a risk i can easily see them disclosing your new location to him just to prove he's not a danger and then the op he posted about her relationship
struggles with her husband titled, Please Help Me Stay in My Marriage, I'm Losing My Patience,
which was posted a few months later, which reads as follows, married for eight years. We have three
kids, seven to two years old. We both work full time. Recently, we had to move due to a safety issue.
My husband did not want to leave and made me feel crazy for wanting to flee for our safety.
Our already fragile marriage feels unstable with the added stress of moving.
My husband is on the spectrum, and I thought that working from home would help him be less stressed and more kind.
But he is unhappy, unkind, yelling at me and the kids, and generally questioning any decision or request I make.
I made a compromise when I married him, knowing that I did not like his sense of humor or intimacy with him,
but thinking that his intelligence and our common values would get us through.
Now I feel stuck because I don't feel like our values are the same anymore.
He wants material possessions.
He hates meeting new people.
He can't tolerate the noises and chaos of our kids bring.
I don't mind the chaos and noise.
That's just kids.
I love minimalism.
To me, a stranger is just a friend I haven't met yet.
I'm making new friends every day out here,
and he's refusing to meet anyone new in our new city.
I love being at work because I feel valued and appreciated.
I love being with my kids or my friends for the same reason,
but I dread every interaction with my husband.
When he's gone for several days, I feel so happy because no one is criticizing me
or yelling at the kids.
He's on depression and ADHD meds and in counseling,
but I don't think it has helped.
Having known him for this long, I know he isn't changing.
I keep trying to convince myself to stay.
I want to stay for our kids.
I don't want to ruin their lives.
I'm just so very unhappy with constantly managing his feelings.
I don't care if I will be alone my whole life.
I don't care if I'll ever be loved.
I just don't want to feel miserable, but I need to stay for our children.
I feel so lost.
I just want to not feel bad.
And now let's get into some of the top comments.
Someone says, why do you need to stay for the children?
What good is it for them to be exposed to this?
And the O.P replies and says,
I've dated people before that had these qualities but didn't match on values or ended up doing something that hurt me.
I made a decision to marry my husband knowing we matched well on most things.
But since having kids, he has become angry.
Activities that we used to enjoy together.
He no longer enjoys.
He used to make me feel.
special. I'm hoping that things change and he becomes happy and fun again. And then the O.P.
comes back about a month later with an update titled, Husband wanted me to work more, but also pissed
off he has to take care of the kids. And this update reads as follows. We have three young kids and
we both work full time. We moved to a high cost of living location and my husband has encouraged
me to get a second job because I have a profession that pays well. I told him. I told him. I
told them that I enjoy working and I do, but I manage appointments for the kids and I already feel
stretched thin. I use lunch breaks to pick up meds for the kids or make phone calls for appointments
for the family. My days off are used to take kids to appointments. I clean the house in the evenings.
I let him know he'd have to take over the appointment coordinator role, start cooking more,
and do more child care if I'm working in it 50 or more hours a week. Well, I got off of work
at 7 tonight and ran by the pharmacy to pick up our son's prescription. I was there over my lunch hour,
but they messed it up, so I came back after work. The line was long and I texted him updates.
By 8 something, I got to med and drive home. He was pissed because he took the kids to Costco for dinner
and one accidentally it dropped their food. I got home in time to help with bedtime while my husband
yelled at the kids and told me he can't handle it. He said he could handle things if I actually made it
home at a reasonable time. I'm kind of dumbstruck. Does he want me to work more or take care of the kids?
I can't do both. And I told him this ahead of time. When we met, he told me that he wanted kids and I
agreed to have kids. I love our children. I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, but he told me that
would stress him too much. I'm now feeling forced to work, but still having to pick up the slack at home.
And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says,
sounds like your job is already tough getting off that late in the evening.
Does he work and do you have daytime child care?
If you can't handle a single evening with the kids,
I would be concerned about having him do that most nights.
What a whiner.
He's going to have to toughen up and get some better parenting skills and patients
because parenting doesn't necessarily get easier,
just different as the kids get older.
And the O.P responds and says,
We do child care.
I'm a health care provider and my job gives me.
me a lot of satisfaction, but we recently had to move for safety reasons. I'm the one that forced
us to move because I was fearful for the kids' lives. The job I took promised full time, but ended up
only having 30 hours a week. So now picking up extra days at another clinic and interviewed to work
at urgent care on the side. Our son has severe ADHD and anxiety. I had to get all the doctor
appointments scheduled, find school and daycare for the kids, get us into a protective program,
take the kids to appointments, etc.
My husband doesn't cook and he yells at the kids.
He is in counseling, but it sounds like the major thing the counselor said to him
was that he has to take time for himself.
I thought that was wild.
I have done my best to keep us afloat.
My husband kept his old job, but it doesn't pay as well,
and he has to drive back to the old house to fix it up to sell.
The drive is eight hours each direction.
So I'm caring for the kids.
on my own weekly.
I'm struggling.
We don't have family here,
so not much support.
Writing this out makes me feel like
maybe I'm a dummy for doing this
and not putting my foot down,
but I signed us up for counseling,
and it was a disaster.
The therapist told me to stop having expectations
and to not complain,
and then proceeded to argue with my husband.
And then the OP comes back
a few weeks later with an update titled,
Testifying Against My Brother Tomorrow.
And it reads as follows.
I want to let you guys know we are safe.
We are in our new state.
My husband is trying his best in being far more supportive.
He still believes we should have stayed to fight,
but he's accepted the fact I felt the threat was real.
The kids are adjusting to life in our new state.
We made some friends.
Our location is not public.
Despite my license to practice medicine being available online,
it is far from the first result in our address is hidden.
My employer is very respectful and kept my name off of the clinic list of providers.
I've signed us up for address protection through our state.
This is thanks to many of you who advised me to move and hide our address.
I appreciate all of your kind advice.
I am flying back to our old state today to testify against my brother tomorrow.
He decided to go for a jury trial on advice from my parents.
I'm an anxious mess and have tons of conflicting feelings.
I helped raise my brother in a large part of my family.
identity has been helping and protecting my siblings. A small part of me feels that testifying
against him and sharing everything I know will destroy his life and be a betrayal. But I know
he made his bed and must have consequences. It's the right thing to do as shitty as it feels.
The boy I helped raise is not there anymore. He is not the same person that s-aid a dog,
that has threatened to shoot up a hospital, stab my sister,
kill my parents with an axe or kill me and my husband and kids with a sledgehammer.
I dread seeing this man tomorrow.
Every time his photo shows up on my phone, I feel panic.
Meeting people with the same name makes my heartbeat faster.
I can't stop feeling fear.
I plan to tell the truth and let the jury decide if my brother is guilty.
I worry that this will destroy what's left of my relationship with my family of origin.
I have to do the right thing
even if my parents and sisters
think this is a betrayal of our family.
My sister told me
this will not change things between us
because she believes I will do the right thing
for the family,
but the truth is I plan on doing what's right for my family
and the community.
Again, I am grateful to you
and we'll update you on how things go.
And then the OPE adds an edit
and says,
I just gave my testimony
my brother and mom were staring daggers into me, but I did my best to keep calm.
They only allowed me to testify about the threatening phone call,
not about any of my brother's past history,
not about the guns, axe, or the dog.
And now let's get into some of the top comments.
Someone says, you're doing the right thing.
Congratulations to you for actually doing something and preventing a tragedy.
You're awesome.
I don't know about American law, but
is there a possibility to testify without the defendant in the room,
like remove him from the room while you can testify?
I've asked for this, and I've seen it happen many times as a lawyer in another country.
And the O.P. says,
I do not think there's a way to testify without my brother being in the room.
I know that my family will also be there, and in a way,
knowing how much they do not want me to testify is the worst part.
My family is Soviet, with a history of alcoholism,
abusive behaviors and secrecy.
I'm trying my best to break that cycle for my own kids and to raise them to tell the truth,
even if it is difficult or scary.
It's heartbreaking that my brother grew up to be this person and threw all of us into this horrible situation.
I wish that I didn't have to go against my parents' wishes, but I truly don't have a choice.
And another user says,
Your brother is desperate for help, and your parents and sister want to ignore these cries for help,
because I don't know, they don't want to look bad?
If your brother is released and hurts or kills someone?
What then?
And the O.P. responds and says,
My parents were mad at me for taking him to a crisis center initially
when he admitted to being S word.
They thought I should have brought him home to them to take care of it themselves.
I think their approach would have allowed him to do something to someone.
They think him buying guns and an axe and tactical gear
and scoping where to shoot people is just fantasies he had.
My dad said it's no different than watching World War II movies
or reading historical fiction.
My parents also don't believe that he essayed the dog
even though he admitted to it multiple times
and police and FBI told us about it
and the social workers confirmed it.
I didn't want to believe it either.
But my brother admitted it to himself, to my face,
and he looked very sheepish and embarrassed that he did it.
He didn't expect that his doctor would reveal it to the police, but they did.
My parents care more about their son and how their family looks than the actual well-being of their daughters or grandkids.
And then the OP came back later that day with another update titled,
My Brother was found guilty, and it reads as follows.
Hi, everyone. Thank you again for your kind support.
Here is a hopefully final update.
I testified against my brother today
in the case of threatening to kill me,
my husband and our kids.
My brother was found guilty.
I gave a victim statement
and my husband gave one virtually.
I was able to provide more background
on his past threats and guns and other weapons.
My testimony at trial was very limited to the phone call,
so it felt good to be able to say all the reasons
we have to take them seriously.
My mom gave a tearful character statement
saying he was so gentle and would never hurt anyone.
The judge cut her off mid-testimony.
It was honestly so validating.
He will be released from jail in two weeks
to serve out his sentence of two years of probation
with regular check-ins, mandated therapy,
and possibly having to wear a GPS tracker.
The judge also extended the protective order for me
and my husband and kids to four years.
My mom is renting a hotel room,
for my brother once he's out of jail.
They are trying to find a halfway house,
but it'll most likely be not very secure.
At least, probation and mandated therapy should help.
I hope.
I do not plan on having any future contact with my brother.
I will see if we have contact with my parents.
I plan on still talking to my sisters.
I've urged them to not share their addresses with our brother,
but they are adults.
I'm not going to reveal our location to any of them because I don't trust that they won't reveal it.
I feel that the ruling is fair and will get my brother treatment.
I think that we are safe now.
I did everything I could.
Now I'm in the airport about to fly home and I'm having a drink to closing this horrible chapter.
Cheers.
And we have never received another update from the OP.
My roommate, female 22, went bat-shit crazy while I F-22 was gone for the week and destroyed my possessions.
I will try to make this as short as possible.
I moved in with my roommate, Ashley, not a real name, almost a year ago.
She posted an ad to Craigslist about needing a roommate and I was looking for a place to live.
We hit it off and a few days later,
I was moving in.
Ashley was very clear and upfront about our mental illnesses.
She has bipolar type 1 and borderline personality disorder.
She also suffers from mild depression.
I myself have been diagnosed with GAD.
Ashley has been hospitalized twice in our time living together.
On Wednesday, I had to take off work and drive five hours to visit my dad,
who is currently in the hospital.
I asked Ashley to look after my cats.
I have three.
Nothing major.
Just make sure they had food and water and cleaned their litter box at least once a day.
If she could.
Ashley agreed and I left to go be with my family.
I got home last night and the apartment was destroyed.
That is the only way I can describe it.
There were broken dishes and glasses in the cabinet,
knives thrown into the wall,
the TV was unplugged and on the floor.
My cat's food bowl was empty and their water bowl was dry as a bone.
I went into my room and was shocked and horrified at what I saw.
She had locked my three cats in my room, where they had urinated and defecated everywhere.
My makeup was on the floor.
Eye shadow pallets shattered, lipstick smeared on my mirror,
my underwear was all cut up on the floor, and going through my closet,
I found holes in my clothes.
I am in total shock still.
I tried to get a hold of Ashley,
but she had blocked me on Facebook and isn't answering my calls.
I've contacted both her parents and her boyfriend,
and they have not heard from her since Thursday.
Her parents have now filed a missing persons report on her.
She has destroyed so much of my things,
and I don't even understand why she did this.
Not at all.
What do I do, Reddit? I'm beginning to freak out here. I know we'll never get our security
deposit back due to the damage she has done to the walls of the apartment. $800 gone there.
She destroyed hundreds of dollars worth of makeup and clothes. No one can get a hold of her,
and I'm starting to worry about her too. My cats were left alone and hungry for at least two days.
I've taken pictures of everything and have copies of them. The police were contacted, but I was told in
until Ashley can be found, there isn't much that can be done. I've never had this happen before,
and I am really lost. And now let's get into some of the top comments. One user says,
Inform the landlord. Ask for the locks to be changed so she doesn't surprise you. Ask her parents
for rent money when it is due until you can break the lease. And the O.P responded and said,
Already told my landlord. He refuses to change the locks and told me I'd have to pay out a
pocket for it, and the earliest a locksmith can come is on Monday. Her parents refused to pay for
any of the damages, or her share of the rent. Landlord told me I was pretty much effed out of getting
my share of the deposit back too. Another user says, did she freak out because she was upset with the
cats? And by extension, you? And the opi response and says, no, Ashley has multiple mental illnesses.
She has been on medication, but about a month ago, her doctor changed her prescriptions.
I don't know if she flipped her shit because of that or because of some outside problems.
Her and her parents were fighting a lot recently, but I don't know over what.
No idea, and right now, I can't say I care.
I honestly thought she was a friend, but it looks like I was wrong.
And then the OP gives us an update the very next day, and let's get into it.
This reads,
Figure-eyed, give an update to those who wanted it.
Ashley's parents called me later,
begging me not to press charges,
saying this isn't the first time she's done this to her roommates.
They cannot afford to repay me for the thousands of dollars
that was lost in Ashley's fit of rage.
They just want me to forgive and forget.
Ashley's mother also revealed to me
that they filed a fake missing persons report
that Ashley had come to them and they had been hiding her.
They asked me to just forgive her because she has these manic episodes very frequently.
While she had disclosed her mental illnesses to me before we moved in together,
she did not tell me about her manic episodes, her fits of rage and hostility,
or the fact she has done this before.
She had assured me that her illnesses were under control with her medication,
and I believed her, because at the time I was desperately looking for a place to stay.
So for those who were saying I deserve this because I moved in with a person with mental illnesses,
go F yourself. No one could have seen this coming. I knew absolutely nothing about BPD or type 1 bipolar,
and she was a seemingly good roommate up until now. For those who messaged me, telling me I deserve this
and my cats should have died, really F you. If Ashley had a problem while watching my cats,
she would have said so. I also paid her to take care of my cats. I also paid her to take care of
my cats while I was gone. She had zero problem taking my money. If I had any inkling of her locking my
cats in my room without food or water for two days, do you think I would have left them with her? No,
I would have not. She has destroyed things that cannot be replaced. She tore up pictures of me
and my grandparents who are now passed away. She smashed a glass paperweight my uncle gave me
when I was nine. She got holes into clothes that I had saved up for months for. I had. I had
I have two pairs of pants and four shirts to get me through until I'm able to afford new clothes,
which won't be it for a while because I now have to take my three cats to the vet to make sure she didn't physically abuse them.
I have four pairs of underwear and one bra.
I think I have every right to be upset with her.
I don't care to change the locks.
I plan on breaking my lease and moving back in with my parents.
My father is sick and needs me right now.
I've called up a few lawyer offices, but none can really help me out until Monday.
What little stuff she didn't cut holes into, break or rip up have been packed up, along with my cats.
I'll be leaving for my parents shortly.
I still plan on getting a restraining order against her, at the very least.
Several people have messaged me, telling me I shouldn't press charges against her because of her mental illnesses,
telling me I'm a crappy person for calling the cops.
She was never missing.
Her parents just covered for her because I'm not the first person.
She's done this too.
So, thanks Reddit.
Here's your update.
I'll let you know what comes of this later.
And now let's get into some of the top comments.
One user says,
To be completely honest, I would definitely file the police report.
Mental illness or not.
She destroyed your property and endangered your cats
and there's no situation where that would be acceptable.
Another user says,
Mental illness is no excuse.
Her actions need to be accounted for
and she needs to get her stuff under control.
Her parents are enabling the hell out of her.
Press charges and get that restraining order.
Another user says,
Sorry for some of the messages you've gotten from people.
Ashley definitely has some issues going on,
but that doesn't mean she gets to go through life consequence-free.
When she lied to you about having it under control,
lied by omission about previous incidents,
or took your money to look after her the cats,
she wasn't out of her mind or having an episode.
If I was a werewolf and I moved in with someone, it's still my goddamn responsibility when my roommate gets torn to shreds during the next full moon.
Definitely press charges and pursue this in court.
I know you lost some truly irreplaceable things, but it can't hurt to seek damages.
Talking to a lawyer about it is a great first step.
Look at it this way.
If she actually gets into trouble this time, maybe she and her parents will think twice about putting her into a situation she's not ready for.
or destroying someone else's livelihood.
Plus, the parents filed a false report with the police
just to bail their daughter out.
I think I know where she gets her lack of taking responsibility from.
I also recommend talking to your landlord before breaking the lease.
If they're even remotely reasonable,
hopefully you can avoid losing your security deposit.
And unfortunately, the OP has since deleted their account shortly after this post,
and so we never got an update, but I really hope the O.P. got some money back and wasn't completely
liable for everything that happened. And it's just heartbreaking that the O.P. lost some truly
irreplaceable things and sentimental items. I mean, it's just a horrible situation.
My 24 female boyfriend, 25 male, had a bizarre reaction upon meeting my sister, 23 female.
Neither of them will tell me what's going on.
and it's driving me crazy.
I'll get right into it.
Boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now,
and our relationship has been great so far.
He's my dream guy, and I honestly couldn't ask for someone better.
I always felt that we were both honest and trusted each other.
At no point in our relationship did I sense that he was being unfaithful
or doing something he shouldn't.
Last week he came over to have dinner with my family.
My parents know him well and adore him.
However, it was the first time he met my sister, or so I thought.
For the record, I don't have a great relationship with her at all.
She is manipulative, aggressive, and just crazy, to put it mildly.
The only time she contacts me is when she either needs, number one, money, or number two,
my help to get her out of trouble once again. I don't have a clue what's going on in her life most of the
time and prefer it that way. Anyway, after dinner, boyfriend and I were in one of the guest bedrooms
when my sister walked in. She arrived late as usual. As soon as he noticed her, his whole demeanor
changed. He looked surprised, but then very annoyed. It was obvious he was trying to act indifferent,
but it wasn't working at all because he absolutely lost focus of what he was doing.
My sister's reaction was also weird.
She immediately said,
Oh, hey, in this fake, innocent voice and started giggling.
She had this huge grin on her face and asked me where I found him.
They awkwardly exchanged greetings, and then she left the kitchen again.
Of course, I asked him, what the hell just happened?
Like, do you know her or something?
He vaguely said that she seemed familiar and kept beating around the bush.
I asked if they had intimacy, and he immediately assured me that they definitely did not hook up,
and that I should not worry.
Later that evening, I asked her in private if they met before and did something I should know about.
She wasn't being serious at all, and kept telling me not to worry and all that BS.
However, she swore they never hooked up, and I actually believed her for once.
If they did have intimacy, she'd definitely rub it in my face.
I asked her if she owes him money or something, and she said no.
Side note.
As we were about to leave later in the evening,
boyfriend said that he forgot his wallet and needed to go back inside.
At that time, I didn't realize,
but now I'm almost sure he went to talk to her for whatever reason.
It's really frustrating being in this situation,
and I can't stop thinking about it.
I've brought it up several times,
and he just keeps changing the topic or telling me that nothing happened.
Doesn't that sound crazy suspicious?
I don't want this to affect our relationship,
but I feel like I don't even know him anymore.
I'm tired of begging for an explanation at this point.
Should I have a serious discussion with him or just give up and move on?
And now let's get into some of the top comments.
One user says,
I had the same thing happened with a girlfriend when I met her friend,
and we both realized where we knew each other from.
It was from the psych hospital where I worked.
She had been a patient there and under federal HIPAA laws,
I could not tell my girlfriend where I knew her from.
It turns out my girlfriend knew all about the S-word attempt
and subsequent hospitalization,
and after the friend told her where we knew each other from
and gave me permission to speak about that,
my girlfriend relaxed and laughed.
My girlfriend said she had thought that might have been
what led us to ignore any of the same.
other so op it may be something innocuous another user says i'm sorry but i honestly think they hooked
up i'd say they had just met previously and nothing happened their reactions would be different
if you can accept that they had intimacy in the past go forward if not dump him and move on his
going back in to get his wallet is very telling in itself edit your sister by the way is having fun with you
This is probably more fun than just outright telling you.
She's probably enjoying having this information,
knowing you're dying to know,
whether or not she hooked up with your boyfriend.
And then the OP comes back three days later,
with an update, and let's get into it.
This reads,
I had no idea that my post blew up the way it did.
Had it not been for the hundreds of Where's the Update
slash What Happened Comments and DMs,
I probably would have deleted the account and moved on.
I don't have a main.
Anyway, on the day I made the post, I calmly just asked him to tell me what happened.
I told him that it can't be that bad and that we can work through whatever it is.
He said that he can't because I'd think less of him and all that stuff.
I don't know.
I was very hurt by that comment and didn't push it any further.
The next day, I had a massive argument with my sister who said that he never actually paid her off.
I had a feeling she was lying anyway.
She decided to tell me what happened because she got bored.
Yes, really, and wanted me to leave her alone again.
In a nutshell, this is what she told me.
Around two years ago, she went to these weird, effed-up parties slash clubs
that were filled with people from wealthy slash professional backgrounds
and everyone was constantly drugged up, basically lots of debauchery and excess.
She saw my boyfriend on several occasions and said that he was always doing
heavy substances and acting very, very wild.
Apparently, he and his buddies were major assholes too.
By the way, I'm not sure how she ended up there,
but he comes from a wealthy family, so the connection makes sense.
One day, he invited her to one of the rooms where he was smoking weed.
She said that they got high together, but never hooked up.
Afterwards, she left the party with him and a few others, and they went to someone's place.
She walked in on my boyfriend having a three-way with a couple of girls who tied into the bed and did crazy things to him.
She spent five minutes explaining how loud he was and that he asked her to hold his hand.
Someone called the cops of the location and everything, including my sister, took off without untying him so he was stuck there.
She says she never saw him again after that night.
Long story short, I brought it up with my boyfriend.
He eventually admitted that she told the truth.
I was more concerned about his substance abuse and said I'd be willing to discuss that
if he's comfortable with it.
It was a sensitive topic, but I think we dealt with it well.
He's clean now and said that he managed to put a stop to it before it spiraled out of control.
I assured him that his mental slash physical health is far more important.
The rest is just whatever.
He was pretty relieved. He said that he's actually open about his past issues, but didn't feel like he could tell me. I think many people did something in the past they're not proud of, and it's not always easy to share that with someone you care about. However, it's definitely not something I expected because he's a clean-cut guy and just very calm slash quiet overall. Afterwards, I asked him about that incident and he was mortified. He said that my sister just laughed in his face and didn't even try to help, so the
had to untie him, and he had to go to the ER that night as well.
He was incredibly embarrassed about the stuff he did and the hand holding.
It's the first time I've seen his face so red.
I definitely could have handled the situation better from the start and regret that I was so pushy.
Maybe if I didn't freak out, he'd feel more comfortable telling me.
Just to finish off this post, I'm going to say this.
If you're facing a serious problem or addiction of any kind, please make sure you get help.
the people that matter won't judge you and you will feel less alone and now let's get into
some of the top comments one user says that isn't good but i suppose it could have been a lot worse
and the op responded and said at least they didn't bury bodies together i guess and someone
else replies to that and says am i weird or did he not do anything wrong and shouldn't be embarrassed
well except for being an asshole apparently according to her sister who is mental and the opi replied and said
according to the story she told me he did sound like an asshole and this is the last we've ever heard from the
op is my sister's husband acting weird or am i overthinking i'm ashley seventeen female
my sister who will call jess 25 female has been married to her husband
for two years, Jake, who's 34 male. They got together when she was just starting college,
and have been together since. As far as I know, they've never had any problems, and anytime
they came around to visit, they literally seemed like the model relationship. My parents never really
made any of the right choices in life, and because of this, my sister basically raised me herself.
I'm so grateful to her for this, and I know that she had to have to.
make so many sacrifices to be able to do so. When she was in college, I'd make sure to call her
at least three times a week just to get updates and see how she was doing. In these conversations,
she'd talk about schoolwork, what she was planning to do, and then she'd talk about Jake.
She described them so wonderfully that it literally upped my own standards of love. For example,
all the flowers she got, all the beautiful dates she went on, and she'd be able to. And, and she'd
and how he treated her so amazingly.
After living with my parents who should have gotten divorced a long time ago,
I wasn't someone who had a guide of what a healthy relationship should look like.
So I became quite close with Jess and Jake.
And it had always been me and my sister growing up,
so when she introduced me to Jake,
it felt like I finally had an older brother.
Eventually, Jess and Jake moved in together,
got engaged, and now they're married.
My parents ended up kicking me out because I refused to pay them rent.
I have a job at a luxury horse ranch, and there's a few perks.
They'll let you use their horses to practice.
They will offer free lessons with a writing instructor,
and all around I just love my job too much.
I didn't want to leave it.
Due to these perks, though, my pay isn't that good.
And for how much my parents were asking for,
I would have to get a second job or quit to find one that pays enough.
So I found myself living with Jess and Jake.
Jake works from home, so unless he's taking Jess out or at the gym, he's at home.
He makes enough money doing whatever it is he does.
I have no idea what he actually does, but Jess told me that it was his family's company, so that explains it, I guess.
Recently, they came to me and told me that they were expecting, and obviously I was very excited for them.
But my sister has had a few miscarriages in the past.
and we needed to be extra careful with her.
This has turned out to be a very complicated pregnancy for my sister,
even in these early stages.
So it's very high risk.
Hopefully this is enough for you to get a clear idea of what's going on.
My parents had an old car that I was allowed to drive at work in school,
but after they kicked me out, I could no longer use it.
This was a bummer, as I always liked these sense of freedom that having a car gave me.
But whatever, I'll get over it.
Jake insisted that he would start taking me to school in the morning and then driving me home to and from work.
I was extremely grateful for this because I didn't have to take the bus or walk.
So after Jake finished his daily routine at the gym, he would head home, shower, get me Starbucks, and drop me off at school.
And then in the afternoon, he would pick me up from school and then drive me to work.
At the end of my shift, he was usually waiting outside or on the way.
So it was a really great help.
and I was so thankful that he would take so much time out of his day to help me.
In the car, we'd end up talking and having conversations,
whether it was about Jess or the plans for the baby.
But he'd always ask me if I was dating someone or had a crush on them.
He would wink and be like,
You're so beautiful.
It's not possible.
There's got to be something you're hiding from me.
Come on, you can tell me.
You know I can keep a secret.
Just tell me.
I mean, there was a guy.
I'll give him that, but it was too early to talk about it,
which meant I ended up being vague because I didn't want to lie to him,
basically just plain coy,
and not answering any of his questions with too specific of an answer
because I just didn't feel like jinxing myself.
Eventually, Alex 19 male,
the guy that I was talking to asked me on a date.
His family owned the ranch that I worked at,
and so he ended up spending a lot of time together,
while I was working. Usually during my shifts, he would come and help me out or we'd go riding together.
I was really excited. And on the way home after my shift, I ended up telling Jake, he immediately like,
went cold. I don't know how to explain it, but there was no longer a familial warmth. He started asking a
lot of questions, very matter-of-factly, and I answered because I figured it was just the protective,
older sibling thing and that it might take some time for him to get used to it.
But then when I told him that we'd been talking for a month or so, he freaked out and got
like really angry. I ended up crying when he started calling me a liar and saying that I've
been trying to hide this from him. The one thing that stayed on my mind since is that he
literally said, what about us? Which has left me so confused, because what does it even mean?
The worst part is that now, because of how he acted,
I'm overthinking a lot of what it was happened since I came to live with them.
There's a pool in the backyard of Jake's house,
and sometimes I'll go out there to swim or just to lie out there and tan.
However, I've now come to realize that any time I went out for a swim
or tried to sunbathe, that Jake would make an excuse to come and do something outside,
whether he'd start up the grill or mow the lawn.
I'd get the feeling that I was being watched.
But a few times he just started swimming with me,
but I figured he was just trying to work out like me.
After I'd get out of the pool, I'd go take a shower in the hallway.
Jake and Jess have their own connected to the master.
After I'm done with my shower, I would go to my room and then get changed and sleep.
Sometimes, though, in that short distance between hallway and room,
in which I'm wearing nothing but a towel,
Jake would be like waiting for me, and then he'd say good night, which I would say back to him.
But now I'm wondering if there was another reason for that.
I don't want to bring these concerns up to my sister because of how fragile she's been recently.
This pregnancy is really hitting her hard, and I just don't want to say anything because it could end up hurting her.
And I just need an answer as to whether or not I'm overthinking.
And now let's get into some of the top comments.
One user says, you're not overthinking it.
The second I noticed the age gap in the relationship,
I suspected there would be issues.
Your brother-in-law was hoping to start a intimate relationship with you at some
point in the near future.
Now that your sister is pregnant and is struggling,
he started to focus on you and is now pissed off if you've met someone else.
That's going to make it difficult for him.
And the OP responded and said,
if you're right, and this is what he's trying to do,
then I'm not sure what I can do except try my best to stay aware.
My sister could seriously get hurt from not just the emotional damage,
but the risk in her pregnancy.
Another user says,
if your gut is telling you something, it's probably right.
Start distancing yourself from Jake to a polite but aloofish dynamic
since you do live at their place.
Start working.
find another place that's affordable.
Usually I would recommend telling your sister,
but you mentioned that she has a high-risk pregnancy,
so I understand the reluctance there.
This conversation needs to happen,
even if months down the line.
I'm sorry you were in a crappy situation.
Hope it all works out for you and Jess.
And the OPE responds and says,
Thank you, thank you.
I will definitely try my best to switch the dynamic
without raising red flags.
I'm more than willing to tell my sister,
if I feel like there's any immediate danger, but I don't think he's that type of person.
I'd rather wait until she's healthier to try and relay this news, and it gives me a chance to
save some more money.
And another user says, you need to start collecting evidence.
You described him love bombing your sister, that they have a model relationship, and that
as 180-degree turn of character with you, was behind closed doors with no witness.
If you bring up this issue with only your words against his, be aware of the possibility that your sister may turn on you.
Start documenting and include what you wrote here.
Time stamps, setting, how many times you were caught going to the bathroom.
Sorry you're going through this.
It'll be hard for you and your sister to come to terms with it.
Good luck, O.P. You are a great sister, and I hope nothing comes between you and her.
And the OP response and says,
Thank you.
I really didn't even consider the fact that my sister
could take his side over mine.
But the way you put it makes me think
I should start collecting that evidence.
Again, thank you.
And another user says,
you're going to get a lot of people on here
that will call Jake a predator
because of the age difference with your sister.
He hasn't crossed the line with you yet,
but you need to make sure he knows to keep his distance
and be ready to tell your sister
if he does anything that's too far.
If I were you, I would start planning to find a new place to live.
Save some money.
Find a second job if necessary, etc.
Keep in mind, as soon as you start pushing back against him,
the rides to school and work will probably stop.
And the O.P responded and said,
I have some money saved up already for my job at the ranch.
And worse comes to worse, I will have some jewelry and horse equipment that can be pawned off.
But the rides to school and work are really helpful.
and I don't want to lose that.
Thank you for the reply, though.
And now let's get into the update that was posted a few days later after this, and let's get into it.
I'd just like to say thank you.
First of all, to everyone who left a comment on my last post offering advice in any sort of way.
Last night, after reading all the comments,
I realized that I'm no longer safe in this situation,
and we'll be making changes from this day forward.
As much as I respect and love Jake, I don't think the risk is worth it.
I did try and initiate a conversation with him after I posted and got some advice
just to see if there's a chance we might be able to talk about this.
But he was still in a bad mood.
So I just went to my room.
In the middle of the night, I felt like I really needed to get out of the house, though.
I really just started feeling so trapped.
And I decided that I would take a walk to my smoke spot and then try to clear my head.
I'm not even there 15 minutes before I get a text asking,
Where are you from Jake?
Then my phone starts blowing up off the hook.
He's calling and calling and calling.
I don't think I can describe the fear going through me.
I wanted nothing else in the world than to be left alone.
Eventually, I picked up the phone,
which led to a flurry of insults being thrown my way.
Apparently I'm a effing princess who always gets her way
and how I deserve to be treated like the horrible woman I am.
Then he told me to send him my location,
which absolutely was not happening.
So I told him to take a breather
and think about what he just said to me.
I did end up calling Alex afterwards,
who thankfully picked up,
and explained everything to him.
I'm really not sure how much he understood
considering I was literally shaking and crying so violently,
but he ended up driving over to my spot
and asking a few more questions about
the entire situation while he tried to calm me down. I was able to relax eventually and told him
everything again with a clearer head. Throughout all of this, my phone had been ringing off the
hook, but assuming that it was Jake, I just let them keep going. Eventually, I can see that it's my
sister's phone calling me, and despite knowing that there was a good chance that it was Jake
on the other end, I still picked up the phone. It wasn't.
indeed Jake, who unleashed another flurry of insult at me, loud enough for Alex to hear,
and take the phone from my hand. He told Jake to shut up and that I'm safe, then hung up the phone.
Afterwards, he just told me that it was going to be okay and not to worry about it. He ended up
driving me all the way to the ranch and told his parents about what happened in my current
situation. I'm really grateful that they decided to take me in, and let me stay. And let me stay.
in one of their extra rooms for a little more work around the farm.
After that, I just kind of cuddled with Alex
and tried my best to fall asleep.
I ended up not going to school today,
because I'm just trying to take a breather.
However, after Jake's reaction and the comments getting to my head,
I seriously began to worry for my sister,
who I ended up calling.
Gladly, she was the one who picked up,
and it was obvious that she had been crying.
She asked me if I was safe.
and if I was okay.
Jess told me that the night before, she had woken up to Jake yelling,
and it was really startled her,
so she pretended to still be asleep.
She ended up hearing him come back into the room
and take her phone off the charger.
Afterwards, she heard the yelling again,
and then the front door slamming.
Apparently, Jake had gone to look for me
and had kept my sister's phone with him.
She told me she had no idea what to do,
but she was just scared that he had.
he was going to genuinely hurt me.
After an hour or so, Jake had come back home,
but he was clearly still in a bad mood,
because when she asked him where he was and what happened,
he ended up blowing up on her too for questioning him.
She said she'd never seen him get this angry before,
and he was literally wrecking furniture.
After a few minutes of this,
he had gone back into the car and left,
but thankfully left her phone on the counter.
She looked at the call logs and saw all the calls to me,
While Jake was gone, she ended up calling a friend to pick her up and then tried reaching out to me,
which at that point I was sleeping.
But she told me she was so scared that he had found me.
She told me she was really sorry for not being able to protect me herself and failing to see that this was happening.
Jess asked me why I didn't tell her about any of this behavior, but I told her that I didn't want to stress her out with the pregnancy.
And then we both had a long cry.
Apparently, my parents are allowing her to move back in rent-free because they want to help
raise their grandbaby.
If this had been an option in the first place, none of this would have happened, but I digress.
My sister and I ended up going out for dinner, where I showed her my post, we cried again.
She told me that she'd never been scared of him before, but after seeing his anger the night
before, she was shaken.
Both of us still needed to get our stuff, but we're going to reach out of events.
eventually and set a date that we can move all of our stuff out. My dad and Alex will both be there
just in case he tries to pull anything. According to my sister, he has tried to reach out and
apologize so many times, but he just claims that he was worried for my safety and that I shouldn't
be out at night. He had no idea that she could hear exactly what he was yelling at me, so she knew
for a fact that he was lying. Just let him know that she'd be
filing for divorce and then hung up. I love my sister and I wish her nothing but the best in life.
I know she will recover from this and find an amazing man that loves her and only her.
In other news, Alex and I are going on a date next week, so I'm pretty happy about that.
But genuinely, thank you to the Reddit comiters for stressing me out so badly that I just needed to go on a
smoke break. I think you may have saved me. I don't know what would have happened had I been in my room
that night. But I'm grateful that I didn't have to find out. And now let's get into some of the top
comments. One user says, wow, I knew that it was going to go south on you, but damn, that happened
fast and ugly, that he knew you were gone wasn't a coincidence. He was watching you. I'm so glad
you posted that your sister hurt for herself and that you're both out safely. Definitely take the
police to retrieve your stuff. Be sure the officers with you know how volatile he
was. His outburst is indicative of his level of potential violence. He's going to hide stuff so that the
police will need to leave, but y'all will stay. Don't stay. Things are replaceable. Please file for a
restraining order for yourself immediately. Alex hearing that call is going to be a huge help with
restraining order since he's a witness. Your parents and Alex's parents should probably get a
restraining orders also. Be watchful for tracking devices and your stuff when you
do get it back. Last thing, wish I didn't have to tell you this. He's not done yet. He's
absolutely going to try to find you at least once to talk to or apologize. Restrain in order,
or not, expect it, plan for it. Assume he'll try at it a few times. He will obsess about
you because you got away until he finds a new love interest. Keep a knife or mace with you at all
times. Double-checked doors and windows are locked before going to sleep. Your instincts are good
and you and your sister have allies now. Just keep your guard up and know you can. And have outsmart
slash maneuver predators like this guy. Other Reddit posters now the age gap makes perfect sense.
Re-read the comments in the first post. Jess isn't his first victim. The others escaped him.
He learned from those experiences. He was trying to baby trap Jess. When her little sister needed
a place to live, that was a bonus.
That explains him totally losing his shit so fast.
If OP figured him out, then he'd probably lose just two.
Effing, disgusting.
And then the O.P.
comes back a few days later with a heartbreaking update.
And it reads as follows.
Short, but probably the last update unless something crazy happens.
We are safely moved out of his house.
I am safe.
My sister is safe
But sadly
She miscarried
A few days ago
Thank you for the support
And we have never heard
From the O.P.
And let's get into some of the top comments
One person says, I'm so sorry for your loss
But so grateful you two are safe
Hopefully she will find someone
Who will be a good partner and parent
If she chooses to have children in the future.
I wish you to the best in life.
Another user says, I'm really glad you're both safe.
Hope you and your sister are getting all the support you need.
For what it's worth, many of us strangers on the internet are here for you
and rooting for you both.
And we have never heard from the O.P. ever again.
Would I be the asshole if I just tell everyone the truth about what is going on,
even though it would ruin my husband's image?
I am dyslexic and have always had bad grammar.
So, excuse me, please.
This is non-US.
Okay, so my husband has been dealing with some major issues.
We have not yet figured out what it is,
but he has been like dealing with certain delusions.
For example, it all started six months ago when he was convinced he had caught me cheating
because he found a document saying so on my laptop.
When I arrived home and he tried looking forward to show me,
he obviously couldn't find it.
He is going to therapy, but as of right now,
we are technically separated and living in different rooms.
It's just because this keeps happening.
A certain insecurity eats itself into my husband,
and he becomes convinced that it's the truth.
He either dreams proof or he just can't.
convinces himself that anything is proof.
I don't know what he does with the therapist,
but I honestly don't see it getting any better.
Last week, he was mad at our daughter, who's 15,
because she didn't want him to drive her to prom and take pictures with her.
When I went to ask her, she said that that was not true.
She had talked to her dad about what she would like to do when she graduates in two years.
Her father just got really mad at the perceived sigh.
The problem is that he keeps talking to people about these issues.
I was already wondering why so many mutuals stopped responding to me,
but apparently they all think I'm an awful human being and a terrible spouse.
I just want to tell people what is going on.
Also, so they are aware that my husband is basically lying to them
and for them to tell me delusions that he might be having that I don't know.
But at the very beginning of his therapy,
he begged me not to tell anyone because people would think he is crazy.
My sister said that it would also be in a whole thing to do
because it basically feed into his delusions.
I just feel like I am done.
Am I the asshole?
Edits, we already did a brain scan slash MRI and nothing was found.
And now let's get into some of the top comments.
Someone says, is this therapist also a psychiatrist?
I'm by no means an expert, but it sounds.
sounds like therapy isn't what he needs.
And maybe the therapist actually believes what he is saying as well.
I think a more aggressive approach is what's needed.
And the O.P responds and says,
He doesn't trust me, so he doesn't tell me.
I know he gets professional help because he introduced us,
but as far as I know, it's a therapist, not a psychiatrist.
And another user says,
so I'm assuming these are real, actual delusions while giving this advice.
First and foremost, if he hasn't yet, he needs to see a neurologist to rule out any physical causes,
such as a brain tumor.
And second, can you have a therapy session with him and his therapist?
Tell them what is going on with your friends and family.
And come up with a mutual solution?
With the therapist there, they can help your husband see how this is affecting everyone.
In my opinion, this is really messy and could potentially devolve into a dangerous situation.
It's not fair to anyone involved.
I think if they are real delusions.
I would need to tell those very close to us.
Only ones I knew loved him and would protect him.
Ideally with him by my side.
While I told them, but in a big one, I would need to speak with him and his therapist about it first.
This needs to be a professional delicate hand to guide it.
You need to help with this too.
You at the very least need someone, a friend or family member you can trust, to lean on.
But you should also have a professional to talk to and help you cope with this.
Not the asshole.
Just needs to be handled in an extremely delicate way.
With much discernment, professional guidance, and love as humanly possible.
And the O.P responds and says,
Obviously, I am not in the medical field, but I can't describe them as anything else.
mainly because we have not done any of the things he convinced himself of.
For example, he was convinced our oldest daughter, 19, was pregnant because she said no to sushi.
She was just not in the mood for raw fish.
So my husband obviously became obsessed with the idea that her daughter was pregnant.
He would go on full rants, saying how dare she?
We gave her everything, etc.
And another user says, not the asshole.
Keeping the secret is pushing your support network away.
because he's telling them his delusions.
In order to take care of him, you need a functioning support network.
Perhaps you could talk to him about a few select friends you trust not to gossip
and explain that he is asking you to carry the weight of his constant accusations alone
and that it isn't possible for you.
While I agree telling everyone isn't a good path,
you need trusted friends you can talk to.
That is an incredibly hard situation to live in.
And then the OPE comes back five months,
later with an update and let's get into it. It reads, I thank everyone for their supportive words,
especially the people that have gone through something similar. Thank you so much for sharing with me.
It makes me feel less alone. Also, just because I've seen that a lot of people have not been able
to read my first post, I've tried everything from getting him to a real psychologist to having him
committed. I've tried with his doctor, with his mother-in-law, and with my lawyer. But he has not
broken the law or actually assaulted me just threatened to kill me and our daughter for being
a horrible woman but to the police that does not matter because we don't matter so please all the suggestions
you have and suggestions to get him committed or that he might have a tumor or dementia or schizophrenia
please stop i have no fight left in me i also have no legal ground over him i can't care anymore
or i will drive myself insane he still has a support net he will never be
be alone, but that man is dangerous to me and my daughters, and the duty of a parent is above all
else. So again, please stop suggesting what he could have or what I should do regarding him,
because that job is no longer mine. First off, thank you all for your feedback and support. I took
some time to process everything, and honestly, I was at my breaking point. The situation has escalated
in ways I never imagined, and I've made some tough decisions. After I posted, things started to
unravel and quickly. About five months ago, when my husband's behavior first started escalating,
I quietly consulted with the lawyer here. At that time, his delusions had begun to affect our daily
lives, and I knew I needed legal advice. The divorce process requires a period of legal
separation before the divorce can be finalized. We initiated this process,
and I requested full custody of our 15-year-old daughter, given her increasing fear of her father.
The court was also concerned and ordered a psychological evaluation for my husband to assess his
mental fitness for parenting.
A few weeks into the legal separation, my husband's paranoia worsened.
He started placing Apple air tags in my car and in our 15-year-old daughter's backpack, tracking our
every move.
My daughter was the one who found the air tag in her back.
and was terrified. When I confronted him, he insisted it was for our safety, but it was clear to me that his
paranoia was spiraling out of control. This incident deeply affected our daughter, who began refusing
to see her father. Around this time, my mother-in-law reached out to me. She was concerned because my
husband had accused her of cheating on his father, something that was completely out of character for him.
father-in-law didn't believe it for a second but was deeply worried about his state of mind her reaching out was a small but much needed relief she acknowledged that his behavior was erratic and offered her support knowing that something was seriously wrong my oldest daughter nineteen had also become involved in the situation she had been quietly documenting her father's behavior for months she recorded three different occasions
occasions where my husband went on delusive rants. The first was about how I'm supposedly cheating on
him with one of my coworkers, a man I barely interact with. The second was about how our 15-year-old
daughter was secretly dating someone older and lying to him about it. The third was about how
the entire family was conspiring against him to make him look crazy. Watching these videos
was heartbreaking, but they validated everything I've been dealing with,
privately. Things escalated further when my husband almost attacked one of my colleagues.
He had convinced himself that this man was the affair partner I was supposedly seen behind his back.
It took all of my strength to physically separate them before the situation turned violent.
As the legal process continued, my lawyer informed me that due to the severity of the situation
and the psychological evaluation ordered by the court, my request,
for full custody was strongly considered.
In Spain, courts typically prioritized the well-being of the child,
and given my husband's mental state in the danger he posed,
it seemed likely that I would be granted full custody of our 15-year-old daughter.
She had made it clear that she didn't want to see her father,
and the court was taking her wishes into account.
In the midst of this, my 19-year-old daughter decided to take matters into her own hands,
She posted the three videos she had recorded of her father's breakdowns on Instagram,
along with a compilation of texts, photos, and other evidence she had collected over the past few months.
Her intention was to show the world what we had been enduring, but it quickly turned into a public spectacle.
The backlash was intense.
Some people were horrified and reached out with sympathy and support.
While others criticized us for airing,
dirty laundry and accused my daughter of betraying her father.
As the divorce process continued, my husband's mental health became a significant factor.
The psychological evaluation ordered by the court revealed the depth of his delusions,
particularly around cheating and female intimacy.
It became clear that he was not fit to make decisions regarding our daughter's well-being.
The evaluation supported my claim for full custody.
and the court is now in the process of finalizing that decision.
In the meantime, all communication between my husband and me
is being handled through our lawyers,
and I'm ensuring that any interaction between him and our 15-year-old daughter
is supervised.
Given the severity of the situation and the damaged done to our lives,
I'm making plans to move away with my daughter
once the legal proceedings are finalized.
My reputation in our current community is shattered,
thanks to his delusions and the lies he has spread.
Starting fresh somewhere new seems like the only way for us to heal and rebuild our lives.
I never wanted it to come to this.
I still care deeply for my husband.
But I can't keep sacrificing our well-being for the sake of his image.
The revelation that he's been lying to his therapist,
or rather his unqualified life coach, was a breaking point for me.
But I can't keep sacrificing our well-being for the sake of his image.
The revelation that he's been lied to his therapist, or rather his unqualified life coach,
was a breaking point for me.
I realized I couldn't trust him to get better on his own.
Thankfully, some friends have started to see through his stories and are reaching out to support us,
which gives me hope.
But I know it's going to be a long, difficult road ahead.
For anyone else in a similar situation, please know that you're not alone.
This has been the hardest decision I've ever made,
but sometimes you have to do what's best for your own mental health and safety.
No matter how much it hurts.
Thank you again for all the advice.
I'm hopeful that this is the first step towards a better future,
even if it's a painful one.
And now let's get into some of the top comments.
One user says,
if you have any mutuals when you move,
slowly give each of them a different address for a while
just in case they feed him any information.
or drop any mutuals so there's no chance of a contact.
He might convince someone he's getting better,
and they might let your address slip thinking they are doing the right thing,
giving him a chance to reconnect.
I hear it happen a few times in stories on here, so I'd be careful.
And someone else says,
I wish you and your daughter much peace and safety in the not too distant future.
And I hope your soon-to-be-ex-husband gets the much-needed helping niece to get better.
It sounds like he needs professional help.
immediately. Good luck to you. And then the O.P. comes back about a month later with another update,
and let's get into it. This reads, last week, my husband showed up at our home completely out of control.
He wasn't supposed to be there, but he came without any warning. And right away, he started yelling.
He was accusing me and our 15-year-old daughter of being against him, saying we were plotting to
destroy him. He was furious. I tried to calm him down, but it just made him angrier.
He started throwing things and shouting that we were ruining his life. Then he turned it on our
daughter. He called her horrible names and said she was supposed to be the good one, but she
had turned against him too. He was moving toward her like he was going to hit her, and I got between
them to protect her. That's when he shoved me so hard I hit the wall, and he saw him. He
slap me across the face.
I was stunned, but he didn't stop.
He grabbed my throat and started strangling me.
I fought back, scratching and biting to get him off of me.
Meanwhile, my daughter managed to call the police while this was happening.
She was terrified, but she stayed on the phone with them, begging for help.
When the police arrived, they arrested him right away.
He is now facing charges for domestic violence, and the court has put a restraining order in
place. I can't even explain how scary that moment was, but I'm just glad my daughter was able to call for
help. I don't know what would have happened otherwise. The legal process is moving quickly now,
especially after the violence. The court has ordered a psychiatric evaluation to see if he's fit
to even be around our daughters, let alone have visitation rights. At this point, I'm expecting
full custody of my 15-year-old. She's been through so much, and she doesn't want to be
want to see her father anymore, even if it's supervised. I think the court will honor that,
especially given everything that has happened. On top of all of this, the videos my 19-year-old
daughter posted online have continued to spread. A lot of people have reached out with their own
stories about the things my husband told them, things I didn't even know he had said. It's hard to
hear, but it's also helping me understand just how bad it is. Some of the delusions he had included
he thought I was a part of a secret group plotting to hurt him.
He believed our 19-year-old daughter was spying on him for me.
He thought our 15-year-old was trying to poison him by putting something in his food.
He said his mother was having an affair with her best friend.
He told his father that I hired a private investigator to follow him around.
He thought a family friend was trying to take over his business.
He said, one of my close friends was in love with me,
and trying to help me leave him.
He told neighbors
that I was going to sell our house
and leave him with nothing.
He believed my boss was helping me hide money
in offshore accounts.
He thought our daughters was
hiding secret phones and communicating
behind his back.
He accused me of manipulating our children
to turn them against him.
He said his sister was trying to steal his inheritance.
He believed I had hidden cameras
in the house to watch him.
He accused me of you,
using a witchcraft to control his mind.
He thought I was planning to flee the country with our daughters.
It's been overwhelming to hear how far his paranoia went.
Some friends have apologized and now understand what was really happening,
but others still believe his stories.
And that's been hard.
I'm not sure how to fix all the relationships that were damaged by this.
I've also been getting a lot of questions about what has happened with my daughters there,
in the divorce process, so I will explain a bit.
At first, we had to put my daughter into telehealth because we were waiting for an in-person
spot with the therapist.
We were referred to by our doctor.
It took some time to get that set up and approved, but now she's seen someone regularly,
and it's been helping.
As for the divorce, it could have been simple, but my husband has turned it into a high
conflict situation.
I've been so frustrated with how slow it's been going, especially because it didn't need
to be like this, but because of everything he's done, the courts have had to be more careful,
and it's taking longer than expected. I'm only communicating with him through lawyers now.
Once everything is done, I plan to move with my 15-year-old to start over somewhere else,
away from all of this. That's where things stand now. It's been a horrible, painful experience,
but I'm doing my best to keep my daughter safe and make sure we can move forward. Thank you again to
everyone who has supported us through this.
It really means a lot.
And now let's get into some of the top comments.
One user says,
I'm so sorry that he showed up at your door.
I'm sure that was terrifying.
I live in Spain and the slowness of legal processes
can be infuriating,
especially in a situation like yours.
His attacking you was horrible,
but at the least, the courts now,
see just how bad it is.
I hope doctors can figure out what happened in his brain.
but in the meantime, please do continue to keep yourself and your daughter safe.
At 15, does she not have any legal rights to decide who she wants to live with and whether
she wants contact with the other parent?
Please hang in there.
Hopefully it won't be much longer.
And the OP responded and said,
She has, but obviously at the beginning, his lawyer and the courts were still trying to say that she needed her dad in her life and all that.
I don't think he would have gotten custody, but he was up for visitation rights.
I don't know if that's the word, basically.
He should have had the right to pick her up and take her to the cinema or a restaurant, etc.
At least once a month, that is what I was trying to prevent, but I think now it won't be necessary.
And someone else says, this is horrible, and I wish that I can give you a physical hug to make you feel better.
It's time to flush the soon-to-be ex-husband down the drain.
He ain't worth any part of these heartaches.
I do pray that the divorce can go through quick and fast,
with your soon-to-be ex-husband being locked up for the better good.
So all of you can finally have peace.
And we have never received another update from the OP.
My boyfriend is hiding all my stuff,
and I have no idea why.
My boyfriend of five months just moved in with me three weeks ago.
He had some problems with his apartment, damp walls,
and it has to be renovated.
As my roommate is currently spending some time abroad, I told him it would be okay if he stayed at my place for four to six weeks.
He'll be able to move back to his own apartment by that time.
So, now we've been living together for three weeks and things started out great.
Jealousy had been a bit of a problem between us because we often go out separately, probably once a week,
but coming home to the same apartment helped him get over his unjustified jealousy.
But there has been one new problem.
Now, this may seem petty at first, but I'm really at my wits end with this one.
Ever since he moved in with me, things started disappearing and then reappearing one day later
in the same place they were missing from.
I'm talking about documents, small household items, and food.
and it's not like losing keys and then finding them again somewhere else.
I specifically look for something in a certain place where it isn't, but is there the next day.
For example, I like to take a chocolate bar with me to work in the morning,
and for that I normally have a pack of chocolate bars at home.
Shortly after he moved in with me, I woke up to find all the chocolate was gone.
I asked him about it.
He said he didn't know anything about it.
I come home just to find the chocolate bars are in the cupboard again.
I ask him.
He says he doesn't know anything about it.
Maybe you just didn't see them in the morning.
We're talking about a large pack with about 12 chocolate bars.
How could I not see that?
At first I thought it was maybe some kind of strange humor,
but he seems angry when I bring it up and it's starting to really piss me off.
because sometimes it's been items belonging to one of my friends that I wanted to give back to them and then couldn't
or it was certain documents I needed for a certain day.
Now I have absolutely no idea what this is about.
I am not crazy.
I just don't understand at all.
He gets really angry when I talk about it,
saying I'm making this up just to cause drama.
Why should I?
I have no idea what's going on.
Any ideas?
And now let's get into some of the top comments.
One user says, he's gaslighting you.
Run.
And the OPE responds and says,
Someone else used that term too.
I looked it up on Urban Dictionary,
but I'm not sure what it's supposed to mean.
And why would someone do that?
I mean, what's the goal behind it?
And someone replies and says,
The goal is to make you think you're crazy,
so you doubt your own sanity.
And he is the one in control of the situation and is always right because you are clearly insane.
And someone else replies and says,
To expand on this comment, it's a way to manipulate you and increase his control while diminishing yours.
It is a setup for an abusive relationship.
It will manipulate the victim into dependency on the abuser,
making the victim mentally unsure or unable to leave the relationship,
and often financially unable to do so
or have no way to obtain the means to leave.
You may want to question his motives here.
Would someone you care about and supposedly cares about you too
want to make you feel insane?
What motive would he have to move your things, then put them back?
And the OPE responds and says,
I don't know, this sounds really effed up.
He's a nice guy and I don't know how to put it.
He's not the most academic guy?
This sounds like serious psychological manipulation.
And another commenter asks how long they've known each other,
and the OP responds and says,
I've known him for about two months.
We met at a mutual friends party.
I was just out of another relationship
and wasn't interested in dating,
but he showered me with very romantic gifts slash gestures slash letters,
which I hadn't known from any of my.
exes and so we started going on dates about a month after we met he wanted a
relationship very quickly and at some point I thought why not and another user
says the fact that he acts like you are crazy when you ask is the problem the fact
that he accuses you of trying to start drama is a problem he wants something
from you but won't articulate what it actually is you did mention there was a
jealousy issue I don't know if there is any way connected but
It could be. Bottom line is that you are seeing what he is like when you are living together,
and it is not good. And the O.P. responds and says,
The jealousy issue was nothing special. He doesn't want me to go out with my group of girlfriends
because most of them are single. I think he just has a wrong impression of what girls do
want to night out. We sometimes got in a fight, but it's gotten a lot better in the last three weeks.
And then we get an update from the OP 9 days later and let's get into it.
This reads,
First of all, thank you all very much for your suggestions, advice, support, and concern.
I've gotten multiple PMs asking if I was okay and I really appreciate it.
So back to my situation.
After I read all your comments and did some reading on gaslighting, I was really freaked out.
Plenty of you told me there were other red flags in our relationship.
It got me thinking and more and more stuff came to mind that should have worried me a long time ago.
Number one, our whole relationship felt pretty rushed from the start.
I didn't even want to date, but he showered me with romantic gifts slash gestures, date ideas, texts, and I finally gave in.
He was pretty upset when I didn't want to say I love you from the start.
When I didn't want him to meet my family right away, when I didn't want to have intimacy without protection.
you don't trust me is what he said
and when I didn't want to book an expensive vacation with him
he was very jealous and didn't want me to go out without him
although he went out with his friends all the time
he made me cancel plans to spend time with him
and then stood me up
he logged into my Facebook and changed my relationship status one day
after we started dating as a surprise
I actually did worry at that but thought he was just bad at making surprises
As one user pointed out,
all the stuff that has gone missing
had something to do with me leaving the house
or meeting friends and family.
A gift for my friend,
the key to my parents' house,
a USB stick I borrowed.
Documents for an application for a semester abroad,
which we had a huge fight about because he didn't want me to go,
etc.
After I read all about gas sliding,
I ordered a nanny cam.
Unfortunately, the delivery took four days
and after day one, I already knew I couldn't be with him any longer.
I wanted him out of the apartment asap and with as little drama as possible.
I told him that my roommate has gotten a really interesting job offer
and would cut her vacation short and come home in a week, so he had to move out.
He was pretty angry, but I told him that there was nothing I could do.
I also told him, as some of you suggested, that his landlord had to get him a place to stay
and that he should call him.
The next day, he told me that he had talked to his landlord,
and he could move back into his own flat on the following weekend.
The renovations had not taken as long as planned.
At this point, I doubt the apartment ever had damp walls to begin with,
but who knows?
In the evening, he asked me if I wanted to move in with him
because it works so well, and you don't like your roommate anyway.
I never even said that.
I told him, sure.
I would move in with him in June.
He was pretty excited about it.
While I was waiting for the nanny camp to arrive, there was one incident when something went missing.
A book that I had ordered for my dad over Amazon and wanted to bring him in the next day.
At least that's what I told my boyfriend.
Of course, in the morning, the book was gone.
I chose to ignore it and he reacted quite strange to it.
Even asked me on my way out if I had taken the book with me.
Why on earth would he ask?
asked that if he didn't expect a reaction from me.
I just asked,
What book?
The book you wanted to bring your dad?
I don't know what you're talking about.
In the evening, the book was on my desk again.
Of course, and I ignored it again.
Two hours later, he casually walks by my desk and says,
Ah, that's the book I was talking about.
I just said, oh, that book.
He seemed pretty angry for the rest of the evening.
Two days later, the nans.
Nanny cam finally arrived. I set it up while he was at the gym and again, when he was there,
placed a letter I needed for work on my desk. I wasn't surprised at all when it was gone a few hours
later and reappeared the next day. When I was finally home alone at home again and could check
out the nanny cam evidence, I only saw what I already knew. He took the letter while passing the desk,
put it in his gym bag, and put it back a few hours later.
However, as soon as I saw the evidence, I decided against confronting him.
To be honest, I was scared of his reaction and had already decided to break it off as soon as possible.
Also, the camera didn't show me his motive, and I figured he probably wouldn't tell me anyway.
However, it frustrated me very much that I would probably never know why he did it,
and on the last evening, before he moved back to his newly renovated apartment,
I told him I wanted to watch an old movie called Gaslight.
Thanks for the tip, everyone.
It really is a great movie.
He sat with me through the whole movie.
But it was quieter than usual why I talked the whole time
about how unrealistic the movie was and that he was obviously insane.
I actually expected some kind of reaction from him,
but he just sat there looking nervous.
On Sunday, he took all his stuff back to his apartment.
My brother had organized someone to come and change the locks.
And as soon as that was done, I wrote my boyfriend a text telling him that it was over.
I had no interest in being contacted again, that our breakup was final, and thought it was very
sad that he had to hide my things to keep the relationship interesting.
Since then, he called me more or less non-stop, but I haven't picked up and I won't.
I know, this isn't the most heroic or exciting ending.
I could have confronted him with the video evidence, but instead I cowardly broke up with a text message.
However, I really didn't want to confront him and have a dramatic fight.
I just wanted it to be over as soon and as smoothly as possible.
If there's anything I've learned from this, it's to not rush into a relationship.
For the past seven years, I've jumped from one LTR to the next,
and I think it's time to stay single for a while and concentrate on my college classes.
For now, I'm going to stay at my brothers for two or three weeks,
and I should probably change my phone number.
I'm sorry that I can't give you any insight on why he did it.
It might have been kleptomania, a prank,
or messing with my stuff because something about me frustrated him.
I will probably never know.
In all the texts he sent me,
it only says that he doesn't know what I'm talking about,
and he never took my things.
And then the OPE comes back two months later,
and let's get into it.
This reads, final update, guys, I'll try to keep it short this time.
Unfortunately, my last update was locked, so I couldn't reply to every comment I would have liked to reply to.
In the past few weeks, I've gotten some messages asking if I'm okay slash still alive, so I thought I'd write one more update.
I'd love to give you an overall happy update, but, unfortunately, the breakup didn't go as smoothly as I first thought it would.
I never picked up when my ex called me
and never wrote back to one of his countless messages.
But I read most of them, and there was a certain shift in his messages,
after about four days when he suddenly went from this,
I love you and miss you so much.
I don't know what you think I have done,
but I can assure you I didn't do anything wrong.
Whoever told you that is a liar.
Please give me another chance.
To this.
You're such a whiny bitch.
No wonder you can't hold up a relationship with anyone.
I hate you, and there's no second chance for us, no matter how much you wish for that.
For your own sake, pray to not ever run into me again.
I blocked his number later that same week, but had an overall bad feeling when some strange things happened.
Some friends of mine called to ask if I'm okay, and they were all under the impression I had broken up with him because I wanted to concentrate on my mediterate.
on my mental health.
Twice I came to work, and everyone was surprised to see me
because someone had called to let them know
that I wasn't feeling well enough for working.
When I asked who that was, they said he told them he was my doctor.
Also, my ex wrote to my mom on Facebook,
they actually never met in person,
pretending to be a concerned friend asking about my well-being
after my latest breakdown.
It was very easy to clear some of that stuff up, especially with my family, but it was harder to do so at work.
After three weeks at my brothers, I decided to move back into my own apartment, which was not a good idea.
On the second evening, I saw my ex in front of the building, and then I saw him at least every other day,
standing on the other side of the street, just looking across.
After about a week, someone started to ring the bell at 3 a.m. for five days straight.
Also, three times I came home and found a little piece of paper in front of my door with a flame drawn on it.
It creeped me out so much that he somehow managed to get into the building.
I grew more and more afraid to leave the apartment and finally decided to move back in with my brother and his family,
my friend, whom I shared the apartment with and who is currently abroad, didn't take too well to the whole story.
She was furious when she heard I changed the locks without telling her, and even more furious when I told her I'd be moving out because that was not what we initially agreed upon.
However, I just can't go back there.
In hindsight, though, I probably should have involved her more in the process.
I did ask her parents if it was okay to change the locks as it was their apartment.
but I didn't speak to her about it. I feel bad about letting him stay in her apartment in the first place.
I also went to the police to get a restraining order. It was a surprise to me how hard it is to get one of
those. I needed not only evidence of him harassing me, but also evidence of him threatening my safety.
However, after long hours and much patience for my sister-in-law, I got one. The bright side is that I got
approved for my semester abroad, which starts in October. To not burden my brother any longer,
I will already leave in August and maybe travel around a bit. I'm already in a Facebook group
with all the other exchange students that will spend the next semester there, and I think I certainly
won't be alone. When I'll come back, I'll be looking for a small apartment on my own. I still
don't have Amazon Prime. I'm sorry. I can't thank you guys all enough for opening my eyes after my first
post here. I actually had no idea what was going on. Even if I had a feeling that something was off,
you guys saved me from a very abusive relationship and every day I'm grateful. I got out of it
soon enough. And unfortunately, we have never heard from the OP ever again. And to be honest,
I'm seriously concerned for the OP. This guy is obviously unhinged and unwell. I mean,
he wrote a flame symbol on her home. So hopefully he didn't try to like light her house on fire
or hurt her in any other way because this guy's a psychopath. I hope that the O.P. is able to
get a restraining order and hopefully this guy can go to jail because he is 100% a threat to her
and geez just so, so scary and I honestly wish we had another update but the OPE just never
updated us again. So I really hope they're okay.
daughter, 14 female, just came to me with some disgusting news. I am shocked and upset and
don't know what to do. I am still very good friends with my childhood best friend. We grew up together.
We're there through each other's relationships, when we both married, the loves of our lives,
when we started having children, etc. Our families are very close. She got married and had children a while
before I did. So she has older children. One of which is a 21-year-old college boy. I am practically
his aunt and know him very well. The past few days I could tell my daughter was in an unusual mood,
but I didn't think too much of it. Today I go into her room and see her crying. I asked her what was
wrong, and she said she couldn't tell me and to go away. I don't know why, but I got a really bad
feeling about the situation and asked to see her phone.
She freaked out and started to scream at me.
After a while, I got out of her that she and this 21-year-old man have been in contact and
talking and texting and calling over the course of the past year.
WTF?
My daughter was in eighth grade.
She gave me more details about the situation and said that he would encourage her to tell
him her problems, so they began to form a close relationship.
He started telling her.
that he really loved her and saw her as a little sister, but told her to keep their friendship
a secret from me and my best friend, his mom and our families. Here is what I know about the
relationship. He would video call her at night after everyone was asleep, and they would talk
into the night. He would often go on rants to her about how they can't have a boyfriend,
girlfriend, girlfriend relationship now, and my daughter would not really know what to say. She would just
listen. He constantly talks to her about inappropriate things that I don't want her exposed to right now,
such as his drinking happens in college and stuff like that. He talks to her about his problems,
and I see an issue in this because a lot of his problems in college are nothing a 14-year-old needs to
know about. I don't mind her knowing about that stuff, but I would like her to be taught about it
in a more responsible way. His friend apparently called her drunk one time and began to say
explicit, inappropriate things about both her and my best friend's son. Example,
Yo, suck this D already, girl. I want to vomit. Whenever we have family gatherings, we usually
let all our children hang out together. And my friend's son joins them, and of course,
we assume he's just babysitting and watching over the younger kids. Apparently at a gathering this
weekend, he had took my daughter aside and kissed her on the lips. It was her first kiss. He
told her he had feelings for her and that they couldn't do anything about it right now.
I am livid. My daughter feels that she might have feelings for him, but she is also shaking at the
same time because she's uncomfortable. Deep down, I know there's something telling her it's not right.
Hence why she's so upset. She told me she feels like she likes him, but at the same time she doesn't
want him to come over anymore. I feel so sick. I feel like a horrible parent for letting this happen
under my own roof. How could I have let this happen? There is so much more. This is only a small
portion of the stuff she's told me, but I think it pretty much sums up the relationship.
I don't know what to feel right now. Part of me wants to go over to my friend's house right now
and scream at her son. Obviously, I'm not going to do that, but I really need some advice.
I'm going to tell my husband later, and I know he's going to be extremely livid.
I don't know what's going to happen with me and my best friend either.
I don't even know if I care at this point about my relationship with her.
I need to get some help for my daughter.
I'm also afraid that she's leaving details out.
I don't know how bad this is.
Sorry, I'm just rambling.
My head is spinning right now and I can't get my thoughts together.
Edit, for more details.
I asked her to show me the text between them,
but he apparently made her download this texting app
that automatically deletes their conversations each day.
He made her do this so that they wouldn't be caught.
Update.
I found that in the app, Instagram, you can privately message people.
I found this disturbing exchange between them.
I believe the context is that my daughter blocked him on the texting app they used,
and the boy became extremely angry and messager on Instagram.
The gray texts are my daughter, and the white ones are from him.
I am beyond pissed off right now.
This exchange was from two months ago
And the image transcript reads as follows
The O.P's daughter says,
Sorry, I was just feeling lonely, had a bad day.
And this guy says,
Can you shut the F up for like a minute ever?
Everything's about you.
I had a long effing day and I don't respond to your text
And you effing block me.
You're a POS.
And the O.P.'s daughter says,
Okay, I'll just disappear then.
And the creep says, unblock me or I'll ruin you.
You're a dumb eighth grade B word.
You don't want to mess with me.
And the OP's daughter said,
Okay, I did.
And then the OP adds update number two,
which reads as follows.
Earlier after my daughter told me about this situation,
I told her to block all communication with him,
which she said she would.
I had checked in with her later
to make sure everything was deleted,
and it thankfully was.
And I told her that she was very strong
and that I was proud of her.
She knew me.
me and her father were planning on talking to his parents, but all of a sudden in the past
hour, she kept trying to convince us not to and kept insisting that it wasn't as bad as she made it
out to be. She kept saying it was her fault and she seemed to get increasingly anxious. Me and my
husband sat her down to try and work through the feelings and ask her where it was coming from.
When she broke down into tears and told us that the boy knows that she told us and had
messaged her. What I didn't know is that right before she blocked him, she messaged him out of fear
saying she was sorry, but she had told me about the relationship and what had happened. She told him
that she wasn't allowed to talk to him anymore or something like that. She blocked him without giving him
the chance to respond. He apparently knows what her Tumblr account is and decides to create an account
just a messenger there, WTF. Here is the message he sent. I have never seen such a
manipulative and horrific message, but it worked because it got into my daughter's head.
And the message reads as follows.
How could you think I'm a bad person? You are the person I trust the most in the world.
Some of the things I've told you are things that I've never told anyone in the world.
You are selfish and evil at heart.
If you can really turn against me like that after everything I've done for you,
when I've told you that I love you, I really mean it.
but you are crazy a. F. to interpret me saying that as something more than just us being friends.
You were like a little sister to me. Why the F would I want a 14-year-old? You are delusional.
Whenever I would speak to you about how we'd camping a relationship, it's because I thought you wanted something with me.
I'm totally fine without you, dude. You're the one who needs me. I'm the only one who has helped you through all of your stuff.
When blank and blank turned against you, who was there for you?
and talk to you all night, even though he had so much work to do.
Me.
Who was there every time he felt depressed?
Me.
I can name so many other things.
I kissed you on Saturday night because I thought that's what you wanted,
and I felt like you would commit S word if I didn't.
It's effed up how quickly you turn on me and use the things I've done against me to hurt me.
I don't know what else you told your mom, but I'm tired of your drama,
and don't really want to be friends with you anymore.
Sorry, it came to this,
but it's something I've been thinking about for months,
but all the stuff you do really affects,
and I think it's best for me if I get rid of your toxic energy.
If you care about me at all,
you'll go to your mom and tell her that you lied
and exaggerated like you always do.
You owe me that after everything I've done for you.
Don't screw me over like you screw all of your other friends.
When you told me about your drama,
I really wanted to believe that you were in the right.
But maybe your friends were actually right about you being a terrible person
because I'm starting to see your true colors now.
Prove me wrong.
You're no better than me, dude.
You let this go on for so long and you're equally at fault.
Think about all this stuff you've done before.
You try to get me in trouble.
And that's the end of that message.
But the O.P. continues with the post and it reads as follows.
She has been begging us to just drop everything and leave them alone.
Obviously, we are not going to do that.
But I'm at a loss on how to convince my daughter that things will be okay.
We've all agreed to go to bed since it's been a long night.
I've kept my daughter's phone in my room, so he won't be able to contact her in the middle of the night.
Tomorrow, we will deal with the situation once we are thinking more clearly and are able to take the best course of action.
Thanks so much to everyone for the overwhelming support.
It's really nice to have a place to vent to people and the advice really helped.
I'll try to make an update post later this week once I get the ball rolling on putting an end to this.
And now let's get into some of the top comments.
One user says, praise her for coming to you.
Don't blame her.
She's 14 and she's a kid.
Not sure if you have a legal case against the guy, but at the very least intervene and cut off all contact between them.
Again, remember, she's 14.
Don't be hard on her.
Not her fault.
And the O.P. responds and says,
Of course, I told her that I was proud of her for telling me this,
but stressed that at her age,
she shouldn't be having relationships like this with a 21-year-old man,
and that I'd much rather her be talking to boys her own age.
I told her that I don't want her talking to him anymore,
and she said, okay,
but I don't know if this sorry excuse of a man will try to contact her again,
or even if she will reach out to him.
I know at 14, she can't understand the severity,
so I don't know what got through her head.
And the OP then gave us an update post one day later,
which reads as follows.
Hi everyone.
I want to thank you all once again for the overwhelming amount of support
and messages in my original post.
Taking into consideration all the advice we received,
our own gut instincts,
and information we had on hand about the situation,
we decided to move forward and get law enforcement involved in this situation.
Our reasoning simply being that this guy knew exactly what he was doing and must be held accountable for his actions.
Getting the police involved certainly has brought a lot more information to fruition.
A thorough search brought up some more disturbing text conversations between my daughter and this boy
that was enough to charge him with indecency with a child and possibly assault.
We will continue to move forward with this and get our daughter the justice she deserves.
The new findings, however, have brought up some.
some information about our daughter's well-being. At the time of writing, my previous post,
I knew she was having some problems with friends in school on top of this current situation with
the 21-year-old, but what I didn't know was how severe her emotional issues have been lately.
I feel awful. I know teenagers are good at hiding the things that they want to hide, but I wish I
noticed, or tried to reach out to her more when I noticed she was being moody or isolating herself
in a room. The police showed us a little.
lot of messages involving s word ideation, possibly signs of depression, the phrases,
I may F up, I don't think anyone would care if I disappeared, being constantly said.
They strongly suggested getting a counselor and provided us with some resources.
Here is an example of another thing the police showed me.
Some background.
She has this friend at school, I'm going to call him Alex.
She has mentioned Alex to me before.
They have gone to school together since kindergarten.
and when she was younger, Alex would come to her birthday parties. They are decent friends.
She mentions him from time to time regarding basic things like how they have a group project
together, etc. He's a really sweet kid from what I've seen. The police showed me these direct
messages between the two of them on Instagram. I think he could be a good friend for her.
He acts very unfazed and calm when my daughter is exhibiting manipulative and volatile behavior,
but that's still no reason to speak to someone in this way.
I don't want to diagnose, but I'm really afraid about my daughter's mental health and behavior.
I don't know if it's BPD, depression, anxiety, what?
I don't want to make her think that this behavior is okay in any way,
but at the same time, I know she must be hurting deeply
to have to resort to treating people this way at this age.
Basically, I don't want to make her feel like she's an awful human being
because she isn't.
But I don't want to approach it in a way
where it seems like I think it's okay.
She says she doesn't want to go to therapy,
but me and my husband agree
that she needs to at least go to a preliminary appointment
and speak to one.
She is pretty open with us,
but I know there are things she doesn't want to tell us about,
and there are things that we really feel only a professional can help with.
We've set up an appointment with both a therapist,
and a psychiatrist.
I'm just rambling now,
but I've always tried to give my daughter privacy,
but I think it's time I monitor who she's talking to.
I don't want her to feel like I don't trust her
and like I'm spying on her, so it's difficult.
If there was just some way for me to see the contacts on app
she's messaging without really seeing the message content, that would help.
I just want to make sure she's not talking to anyone she shouldn't be.
I don't know.
We're glad that we can move forward and potentially get the 21-year-old guy charged with something and have him out of our lives.
But my daughter is far from being healed.
Thank you again to all who helped weigh in on this situation.
Much love to you all.
Update.
I've received some interest on how the parents of the 21-year-old,
the mom is my best friend from childhood, responded to the situation.
Received this text from his mom not soon after the police went to their house.
You could have given me a heads up before you went ahead and destroyed my family,
L.O.L. I did not reply to the text, seen as it was immature. I did not want to entertain it,
and I had bigger things to worry about. She called me a bit later, and I made the mistake of picking up.
She began to berate me and told her that I had broken her trust and ruined her family, and that they were going through hell.
She said that she could have fixed things herself if I came to her first and that I didn't need to go to the police and escalate the situation, said some stuff about how her son's life was ruined too, some other stuff about how I'll burn in hell for this. I thanked her for the friendship and all she has done for me over the years and told her I was not interested in debating whether or not I did the right thing outside of court and swiftly ended our relationship.
And now let's get into one of the top comments.
Someone says,
Her son engaged in criminal activity on a child,
but you destroyed her family?
Okay.
It sucks to lose a friend and to be blamed,
but know that you did the right thing.
If he had robbed a bank,
you wouldn't have called and given her a heads up
that the police are about to be informed.
And the OP response and says,
Exactly.
The reason me and my husband agreed
not to give her a heads up
was because we knew she would freak out and try to talk us out of it.
If it was any other guy manipulated my daughter,
she would have 100% supported me calling the police.
I'm trying to limit the amount of contact with her
and remain objective and pretty much behave gray rock with her
because of how conflicted our interests in the situation are.
And I don't want the emotions between us due to our friendship
to overcomplicate what we must do.
It's really, really hard.
And then we don't hear an update from the OP for a long, long time, about one and a half years,
but one and a half years later, we get an update and let's get into it.
It reads as follows.
It's been well over a year since everything happened, and I figured I should give a final update to the community.
That was so supportive to me during such a difficult time for my family.
I sincerely thank each and every one of you who gave me advice and showed so much love and support.
After everything that happened last summer, we did eventually end up moving to a new state right before the school year started.
My husband's job allowed him to relocate there, and after some time, I ended up finding a job of my own here.
My daughter was able to start high school at a new school, and it was the best decision we made.
She's very recently 16 now, and in her first.
second year of high school, involved in track and cross-country, has a wonderful new social circle
and a boyfriend who's actually her age this time. He's been over for dinner a couple of times,
and he's a lovely young man and treats my daughter with so much respect. I'm just so happy that
she's happy now after everything's been through. There's still stuff she needs to work through,
so she is attending therapy regularly, and it's helping her a lot. Overall, the dust has
settled and my family is happy, stronger, and closer too, because of all that's happened.
As for the man who did this all to my daughter, we unfortunately weren't able to get too harsh
of a punishment. We fought tooth and nail, and were only able to get him to be slapped on the
wrist with a large fine. We've come to peace with knowing that we did all that we could and that
he's out of our lives for good. We were able to place a
restraining order on him, so he won't be bothering anyone anymore. And he's on the S-O-R.
As for my best friend, aka the mother of this man, we hadn't talked to each other in over a year.
A couple of months ago, she reached out to me to tell me that she was in my new state for a business
trip and asked me to get coffee with her. I declined at first, but she called me and told me
she just wants to meet for closure and that she's missed me
and wants to apologize for her part in everything.
We met for coffee and she completely apologized
for the way she treated my family through all of this
and told me she only did it because she was afraid of her family falling apart,
but now recognizes that it was selfish of her.
She wanted to be friends again in some capacity if I was okay with it.
I thanked her for the apology but told her that
I don't feel comfortable resuming a friendship with her
and then it was best for us to go our separate ways.
It was a really sad conversation.
Me and this girl have been together through so much growing up.
She has been my rock during some of the most difficult and scary times in my life.
And vice versa.
It was hard not to be sad or second guess it, but I knew it was best.
I don't want ties with her family or any connection there.
Thank you again, Reddit, for everything.
so, so grateful.
And now let's get into some of the top comments.
Someone says,
I think you absolutely made the right choice
and going to law enforcement about this.
And sadly, I think you made the right choice
about your friend too.
Your daughter's safety comes first.
What message might you send your daughter
by being friends with her again?
Also, wouldn't this increase the risk
of her somehow coming into contact with him again?
Good luck.
You're a good mom.
you made difficult choices, but the right one.
And we have never heard from the OPE ever again.
All right, guys, that wraps up three hours of some scary Reddit threads.
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