Snook - 4 Hours of Terrifying Reddit Threads

Episode Date: October 5, 2026

Join the Patreon! For bonus videos, exclusive livestreams, discord and more! https://www.patreon.com/SnookYT⁠ From a horrifying thread about an OP asking for help on what to do about someone leaving creepy notes on his child's grave, to a heartbreaking thread of an OP who overreacts at some disturbing news and ruins his life... this is 4 Hours of Terrifying Reddit Threads. Please do not attempt to contact anyone talked about in this video.Timestamps!0:00 | Intro1:56 | How can I find out who is leaving creepy/threatening notes at my child's grave?24:59 | OP finds out girlfriend's secret, and proceeds to react in the worst possible way55:12 | There is something wrong with my wife.1:29:10 | Tonight I broke up with my boyfriend because he kept joking about m*rdering me1:44:51 | I just caught my younger brother trying to record me...1:54:45 | OP's boyfriend confesses to purposeful k*lling of younger brother when they were kids2:03:00 | I found a strange photo of my husband2:15:05 | Am i wrong for moving out of my boyfriends house while he's at work?2:42:07 | My husband has been acting increasingly cruel since his dad passed...3:05:37 | OP saves his sisters from their monster of a "family"3:22:48 | 16 years of marriage. 5 kids. Found out my husband is having an affair3:47:57 | My adultery has ruined my life3:59:44 | Outro Join the Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/SnookYT⁠ ⁠Follow me on instagram and Spotify! If your story or post was included in today's video and you wish for it to be taken down, please reach out to this email. [e-mail] And yes, I'm a human voice. NEXT SUB GOAL - 1,000,000 subscribers! So make sure to subscribe! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey, what's up guys and welcome back to the channel. And today we're getting into four hours of some terrifying Reddit threads. And oh boy, do I have some scary, disturbing and downright horrifying Reddit threads for you guys today? And you heard that right. Four hours of some scary Reddit threads. And you guys have been loving the long videos. So here you go. A super long one.

And let me know down in the comments if you'd like to see more videos like this in the future. And also I just want to say I appreciate you guys. Stopping by means the world and make sure you like the video and subscribe to the channel. The channel subscriber goal is 1 million subscribers before the end of the year. So please subscribe. And if you'd like to see some even more explicit, disturbing, and downright disgusting viewer confessions and stories that I can't read on YouTube. Then check out my Patreon where you also get exclusive weekly live streams every single Thursday, exclusive Discord acts. exclusive Discord access and the first 1,000 members get the exclusive founders role.

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And anyways, that's enough yapping because I've got four hours of yapping right now where I'm going to get into some disturbing, scary, and just downright sinister Reddit threads. And so sit back, relax, grab a drink or grab a snack. And without further ado, let's get into four hours of some terrifying Reddit threads. How can I find out who is leaving creepy slash threatening notes at my child's grave? I'm writing this post both to vent but also able to see if anyone has advice on how to handle the situation. I'm located in Scandinavia with rather strict laws concerning surveillance cameras. Otherwise, I would have gone down that path long ago.

The situation. My wife and I lost our child to cancer one and a half years ago. Our child was then a toddler. This, of course, left us devastated and our way back from the darkness wasn't easy. But we gave our daughter a very beautiful grave, and visiting it daily helped us through the grief. But then we started getting notes, written on computer, not handwritten. nasty notes about us, mainly me though. Sometimes threats and also expressing hopes that the child, my wife, is now expecting, also dies.

Someone broke the wings of the angel on the gravestone, destroyed the flowers, etc. I have no idea who this is. I have no one to my knowledge, no enemies, and neither does my wife. How can I find out who it is without breaking it? the law, setting up a camera. I sometimes get a feeling that perhaps it is someone closer to me than I realize. The reason is that when this first started, the notes always appeared in connection to us letting people know that we had been visiting the grave. If I went there on Monday, and for example told on Facebook that I had visited the grave and planted some beautiful flowers,

then the note would be there the following day. It felt, like a pattern, but could have been coincidental. This is driving us insane. My wife, pregnant and sensitive as it is, can't visit the final resting place of our first child without fear and anger. I too get very upset, of course, but more infuriated. I want to know who is doing this. All advice is very much appreciated. Maybe one of you can think of something, we've missed. And then the OP makes a quick update slash edit to the post that says, some asked us to do a list of suspects. We tried really hard to think of anything that could be an issue. This is what we came up with. L. On my previous workplace, L was a coworker who claimed that

I got promoted because I had a kid on the way and was pissed about that. But that was years ago. And then there's B. Before I met my wife, I dated B, and we had a good relationship. I saw no crazy in her, but she wanted a child-free life and I loved children. So we parted, and it was a mutual decision. She also moved to another town, but since you guys asked me to do list X's, I'll do that. And then there's E, my wife's ex. She dumped him for me.

But he is now married, so he should have gotten over that. Then there's V. When we installed our new kitchen, we hired a Polish guy to do some of the work. Sadly, language barriers made it hard, and we ended up having lots of problems. In the end, I had to let him go and find someone else to do the job. He was angry, but surely that's not a reason to stalk us now. And then there's C. C is not on my Facebook, actually.

but I'll list her anyway because she is a weirdo. She lived next door to us before she moved, and she had this very, very sick dog, so sick that it cried when it tried to walk. It was skin and bones and misery on four legs. Sometimes it fell down and couldn't get back up. My wife reported that, and we never saw the dog again. C was a strange person,

not mean or nasty to people, but odd. And then there's Nurse A, a nurse at the hospital that treated our daughter. Also not on Facebook. We made a complaint about her after finding out that she didn't give

our child the pain meds on the right times, but waited too long to administer them. We weren't rude, we didn't shout or anything, we just wanted the best care for our kid. Also, when our child wished to go to a kennel, and play with puppies, we did that. And Nurse A said we shouldn't because of our child's state.

We went anyway, and she was pissed for the rest of the weekend. That is all we can think of. And then the OPE makes another quick update saying, This is a translation of the latest letter, the 12th of July. I have translated it with grammar slash spelling mistakes slash sentence structure and all. It says, quote, you should be glad that A, insert our child name, died. So she won't grow up with you both and live with you. It is better. And I wish the new baby don't live too, I hope.

Insert my wife's name, falls on the stairs and the ugly baby dies, and it would be better. Company for little, insert lost daughter's name. Maybe she eats something with razor blades. I don't think that the child under the dirt here was a good person either. I think it was a bad person and she died because it was good that she died. I applauded it when the people that are bad die. And I have advice. 9mm and your pain stop.

Easy, easy, easy. I am not evil. I am normal. And I do this because I like it and I don't like you. and I smile when I think that you are hating this. How do you like my arrangements on the grave? I like it much better this way. Don't be so negative.

And oh my God, this is just horrific. I mean, this is horrifying that this crazy person is leaving these letters on this poor O.P.'s Um, kids grave. Like, this is the stuff of nightmares and horror movie. But let's continue. Then the O.P makes update number three. says, I haven't had much free time today, chaos at work, but I translated one of the letters

previously found of the grave, 5th of May. I translated this one because it was one of the worse, and it reads as follows. Do you think little, insert daughter's name, is done and all rotten now? Does the naked bones shine pale in the dark? I think about it sometimes, I hope you think sometimes about it. At least you won't be grown up and like you both in the future. There is no future, only the end, and that is better. New baby will also be sick and die and rot next to its skeleton sister, and they will be dead together, and I will wait for it. It sings inside my soul when bad are suffering, and I feel triumph and happiness when it happen, and it is best way. wishing the worst for both of you. Soon it is coming. Do you guys think this is a male or a female writer?

How can one tell? And now let's get into some of the top comments. One user says, I am no psychologist, but this latest letter seems to be written not to you and your wife, only you. I doubt the person knows your wife well, but sees her as a symbol. and a way to hurt you. Notice that harm is wished on your wife, but as a way to strike fear and suffering in you. There is nothing in the note that suggests the opposite, that harm will befall you,

therefore making her suffer. This is someone who probably has had to assert their normalcy. I would even guess that they have been seen by a professional based on the second to last paragraph. this is a person who is deranged. They can believe that small and even unborn children are bad and extrapolate that they deserve to die. I am not convinced this is a Facebook friend.

This is someone who is really sick and knows your personal details. Have a look into the current circumstances of the Polish worker and the nurse. Has the latter lost her job and wrongly. blames you? With holding medication to a child seems cruel. Has the Polish worker had a difficult time lately? And is his mind blames his recent failures on you? I agree with other person on this forum. What does the spelling in syntax tell you? Native speaker? Educated or not? Is it hard to tell with the translation? And someone replies and says, the nurse was the first one that jumped out to me from the list, as it's a profession that allows

a certain degree of power over vulnerable people. It can attract some really troubled individuals, and the withholding of pain meds is huge red flag, in my opinion. I think checking to see if she's still employed at the hospital would be a good idea. And the OP response says, very interesting input, thank you. And someone else says, I have a suggestion. It may be a little bit tedious, but it may work. Using the list of Facebook suspects you have, take an individual once, maybe every three days, seeing as the letters come a day after you post on Facebook. You post a status, but you need to change your privacy settings on the status. Select custom and where it says, show this status to these people. Put in the status.

the name of the person you have picked to show the status to. Nobody else can see the status but this person. It might take a long time, but it's possible that it could work. And another user says, have you contacted the authorities? What have they said about it? Also, you could post that you went on Facebook and visit the next couple of days to see if someone shows up. This person seems unstable, so be careful. And the O.P responds and says, Yes, my wife arrived at the police station with a beheaded teddy bear that had been found on the grave, crying. Police informed them that, quote, we got real crime to handle. Oh my God, that is so horrible.

I mean, the police said we got real crime to handle. How is that not considered a threat? And also, in the last letter, the OP got, I feel like when the guy said, wishing the worst for both of you, soon it is coming. I mean, that, like, that's a direct threat, obviously. But what do you guys think? Who do you think out of all these people is the most likely candidate? But let's continue reading some comments.

Someone says, are there any detectable patterns like a day of the week that it happens or a certain amount of days after you post on Facebook? This might help narrow down the stakeout option. Do you think it was at night or is there no way to tell? Are your posts private on Facebook? or can anyone see them? Check your privacy settings to see if maybe people who aren't your friends can't see them. I can't remember how it works, though.

Are there any people working nearby that could help you and alert you to anything unusual? Caretakers at the cemetery or nearby businesses that have night shifts. Could you ask to have the plot moved to a more secure or remote area? It might give you some peace. Can you look at the Facebook history of the suspects and see if there are any recognizable speech patterns or phrases? It's not definitive, but it might help you narrow your focus. Sometimes people are active in Facebook groups, local ones are popular, and you will see them as a member. Their comments won't show up in their feed, but you can see what they talk about from browsing the group.

And the OPE, he responds and says, no absolute pattern, but I find that the letters are often there one to two days after we have done something nice, planting flowers, etc. But that's not the only times it happens. My Facebook is said on Friends Only. There are mostly villas and a bakery close to the cemetery, but the cemetery got a brick wall around it, can't see above it from a car, but an adult can climb over it. I plan to go through the suspect's posts on Facebook and look for the same choice of words and spelling mistakes. That might actually be an effective way to narrow it down. Thank you for your input.

And then the OP comes back two months later with an update and it reads as follows. Hi all, it's been a while since I posted. But that's because not much has happened. Anyway, it's time for an update, since many of you have asked and I finally got something to report. On the 27th of August, we had decided to visit the grave together. My wife rarely goes there in fear of what she might find. And as we are on our way to the place where you can borrow a vase for the flowers and fill it with water and such, I spot a familiar face.

It was C. our ex-neighbor with the suffering dog. See previous post for more info. Of course, she might have a grave there to visit too, even if she doesn't live in the same town as us anymore. She must have arrived shortly after us and came walking in our direction, but slightly from the side.

She was very sun-tanned and as if she had just returned from a vacation. In the moment she caught me looking at her, she turned around and walked down. out. I followed her, intending to talk to her, see if she seemed rational or if she showed any sign of guilt, but she was gone when I reached the parking lot. There is no proof I'm aware. I scanned the entire graveyard for a stone with her family name on it and found nothing. Our child's grave was not touched this time. This past week, I've been in contact with the office that can forbid people to

keep pets if they have shown cruelty to animals in the past. Turns out that she had one of those issued to her. Dated shortly after my wife reported the state of her dog, and it was put down. She had been warned before, but it was the dog thing that closed the deal, as I understand it. Motive enough, or am I being paranoid here? It's tricky. She could have a valid reason to be there and walk out when she saw us because she dislikes us. But it could also be more sinister. And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says, it seems to me that it is very likely the neighbor.

She feels you took her dog. Her baby from her and she seems to be retaliating. I commended your wife for reporting the dog. I cannot stand to even think of animals in pain. your wife did the right thing the neighbor was selfish and deluded by keeping the dog alive in such horrible pain she could be selfish and deluded by doing this to you as well there is no reason she should have left when she saw you otherwise

i hope the best for you and your family and another user says i have read your posts my condolences to your family this person is obviously very sick When I read that letter, my blood caught on fire. I want to do anything to help you. You have to gather evidence on this person. My biggest fear for you is not finding who this person is, but once they are found out, they will not stop,

and there is nothing your police can do to stop it because of the lack of evidence. Please take detailed notes on what has been happening the day you find the grave vandalized. Take photos of the damage. Also, figuring out when this vandal attacks could lead you closer to the suspect. Do they do this at night? What about the day? Has the Facebook idea you originally suspected been proven wrong? Are you absolutely sure your Facebook is private to everyone?

Do you know everyone personally under Facebook, or could they be under a false account? What about holidays? Someone who vandals on a holiday likely doesn't have children. Someone who attacks in the middle of the week, likely to be. doesn't have a job that is all day long. Obviously, the neighbor has the most personal motive. The person who does these things likely has more time than the average person. They either don't have children or they don't have a good relationship with their family. Since a surveillance camera is out of the question, I would put a tape recorder in the ground and check daily. Even if you

can't see the person, you can't hear them. This will likely help. you figure out if this person is working alone, or at least what time they visit to better catch them, or collect better evidence. Also, you can make your own trip alarm system. Here is how you make it. These directions give you a way to actually have the system call a phone once the alarm is activated. If you're not that technical, maybe a friend could help you, or this kind of system could maybe be bought. I couldn't find any, though. You could possibly have it hidden between flowers or decorations too. Beautiful for the vandal not to destroy.

I would indeed get in touch with the people who are in charge of the graveyard as well. Document all of these requests and attempts as they can prove that you have taken action in the past. And then the OP responds 11 days later and says, Thanks, very helpful with the trip alarm system. Since we spotted C while visiting the grave, nothing new has happened. but we still think about it all the time. It's always on our minds. Who is doing this?

And is it really over? We also worry if the arrival of our new baby might trigger a new response. We make no baby posts on Facebook or other social media. And we notice who we start to think twice before telling people any information and my wife refuses to visit the grave on her own. It's a really upsetting situation, but we are very grateful for the support. And we have never received another update from the OP,

but oh my God, what a terrifying situation. Like truly, this is one of the most terrifying Reddit threads I've read in a long time. I mean, those notes are just so disgusting and disturbing and sinister and just terrifying. I mean, truly, like for someone, to, you know, wish a baby harm is deeply, deeply disturbed. And so who do you guys think the person writing these letters is? Do you think it's the neighbor or possibly someone we're not thinking of? I mean, most likely, in my opinion, it is the neighbor. They just lost their

dog. They lost the ability to ever have dogs again. They got extremely upset about it. And now they're writing these notes, although it seems extremely, you know, overkill. I mean, it's understandable to be upset, but I mean, to wish, you know, someone's baby death is another thing. So that means they are a deeply unhinged individual. And to be honest, the OP and the OP's wife should really keep a lookout for this person because who knows? I mean, in those notes, it seemed like threats to the OP's life. Very, very scary. But what do you guys think. And all right, guys, before we move on to the next Reddit thread, I want to let you guys know about my Patreon. I know I mentioned it in the intro, but I wanted to let you guys know because

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Because you get a ton of great content And it also helps support the channel And so I can't wait to see you over there The link is in the first link of the description And the pinned comment And anyways, on to the next Reddit thread. OPE finds out girlfriend's secret And proceeds to react

in the worst possible way. My 28 male girlfriend, who is 25 female, didn't tell me that she had kids, and I'm really angry about it. I am 28, and my girlfriend, Kat, is 25 female. We've been together for a little over two years. Our relationship has been pretty awesome. She really lights up my life, and I adore her. Yesterday, I was helping Kat moved to her new house. Everything was normal until the bottom of the box that I was carrying up to her room fell through,

and it all ended up on the floor. Everything that was in the box was okay, except this small wooden slash wicker box that split a little bit around the hinges for the lid. Because of the way that the little box split, a photo had slid out. I opened the lid so that I could put the photo back in. I wasn't trying to snoop it all, but I decided to look at some of the photos. It was a lot of family and pets and friends from different places and life stages, a memory type of thing. Then I came across a few photos of cat in a hospital bed holding two newborn babies, followed by more pictures of the babies.

I kind of froze in my stomach twisted. Cat walked into the room and saw me sitting on the floor with the baby pictures and she looked horrified. We didn't say anything for a few moments and then she sat on the floor in front of me and asked if I had any questions about what I had just found. I asked her if these are her babies and she started crying while nodding yes. I felt myself get angry and I asked her why she would hide them from me. We've been together for over two years and we were starting to plan our future. I told her that I don't want to be a stepdad and she had told me that she didn't want to have children. At this point I was yelling.

I've never yelled at her before and she was just crying, not saying anything until she blurted out, they're dead. I didn't have anything to say and I couldn't stand to look at her so I left. I decided to call my parents and I told them everything that I put in this post. My dad says that I need to talk to her and that I was rude and unempathetic in the way that I handled things. And my mom totally reamed me out for walking out on a good woman who has clearly gone through something traumatic enough that she never wanted to talk about it because I couldn't handle myself for 10 minutes to let her explain. My best friend thinks I'm justified though. She's been trying to call me and sending me texts asking to meet with her so that she can explain everything, but I just feel betrayed and confused. I don't know where to go from here.

And now let's get into some of the top comments. One person says, the woman that you love and want to spend the rest of your life with lost two children. And you made the post about yourself. That's a new level. And then I think the OP made a comment on this comment, but it has negative 321 upvotes, so I assume it's negative, and it was also removed by a moderator,

so we can't even see what it said. And another commenter says, you are the asshole. I'm sorry. You seriously thought that your girlfriend of two years had two kids that she was hiding from you? Your first thought wasn't, oh, she must have given them up for adoption.

It was that she had them. What, hiding in a closet somewhere? Frankly, with an experience so traumatic, I don't think she has an obligation to tell you if she's not comfortable. We're not entitled to every single part of our partner to an extent. And when she said they died, you left? Her dead children have no effect on you whatsoever.

You made one of the worst things that can happen to a parent about you. and someone else says WTF is wrong with you how could anyone be so cruel heartless and self-centered her two babies are dead you think maybe she has some trauma

over it you think maybe it's so unbearably painful she can't even give voice to it you think maybe a normal human being's reaction might be to say ohm gee i'm so sorry your children are dead how can I support you but no you made it all

about you. This is the worst post I've ever read on this site and that's saying something. Disgusting on every possible level, I really hope she blocks you and never has any contact with you ever again. And then the OP comes back a few days later with an update and it reads as follows. I'm not sure how many people will be interested in this update, but I figure I'll put it up. The discovery of the photos and my really crappy reaction all went down on Sunday. Today is Tuesday for anyone who's unclear about the timeline. Long story short, I really effed up. Long story short on Monday night, shortly after having my ass handed to me by everybody in the comments and DMs,

as well as my mom telling me that I'm not the son she raised, I decided to call Kat and asked her if we could talk about everything. She said yes, but that it's an in-person talk, so we made plans for me to go over to hers Tuesday, today, evening. I couldn't focus on anything at work, so I cut my day short and went to her place earlier in the day. It was a difficult conversation. She told me about how she ended up in an abusive relationship when she was just under 18. She talked about how this man had so much control over her that she could hardly even breathe in the vile things he would say

or do to her. Eventually, he got her pregnant by force and she wanted to have an operation to have the babies removed, but he basically locked her in the basement until she was too far along to do anything about it. The twins were born, and she knew that she needed to do. escape with both of them.

She played happy family and did her best while she made arrangements and healed physically. Having twins gave her an excuse to have her mom come around to help with everything, including documenting and escaping. Everything was ready to go

when the twins were one year old and cat was 20. Basically, he figured it out at the very last second. Her children died at the hands of their father. And he tried to kill her too.

She told me about the guilt she felt in so many ways from wanting to have an operation to have the baby removed to begin with. Having kids with the wrong person, not being able to get them out safely and why she deserved to live when her babies didn't. She went through a ton of therapy and was eventually able to get to a good place

and start living again, thriving honestly. She said, said that she didn't think she could ever love again, and she fell in love with me unexpectedly, so she never thought about how she would share this part of her past with a new partner. She felt it easier and safer to just never bring it up, but apologized for not telling me sooner. I told her that she has nothing to apologize for, and my initial reaction was unjustified. I should have stayed and talked to her. I should not have raised my voice at her.

Everything I did was wrong and that I am so sorry for not being a better partner and a better man. To address some of the comments in my OPs, I never asked her if she had kids. I only asked if she wanted kids to which she said no. She never lied. She just left out the horrible passing of her children, which I now understand. Thank you to everybody who wants. was rightfully brutal and honest. I'm not sure where our relationship will go from here.

I'll update in the future if there is any interest there. And then the O.P. comes back a few days later with an update titled, I found out that my girlfriend had kids and I reacted really badly. I wish I never found out. And it reads as follows. A few years before I met my girlfriend, She had twins who passed away when they were a year old. I only found out because I came across some baby pictures when I was helping her move.

I don't think she was ever planning on telling me about them. At first, I was angry and I lashed out at her instead of just giving her the opportunity to explain. I made the mistake of making this a me, me, me issue, and now there might not be any going back to what we had. I still feel confused. Everything that she's told me about her past has been true. She just decided to leave out the parts where she had kids and they died. I get that. That's probably the worst thing that a person can go through,

especially with how it happened, but how do you get two plus years into dating someone before ever telling them? She's told me that she needs some time and space to figure out where she wants to go from here because she didn't like how I reacted to the news and she sees me differently now. I messed up and now I might lose the most incredible woman I've ever known. I'm terrified and I just want to go to her and hold her and beg her for forgiveness but I know that will only make her feel smothered. I wish I could go back. I wish I never knew. And now let's get into some of the top comments.

One person says, I hope she leaves you for good. Another user quotes and says, how did you get two plus years into dating someone before ever telling them? And the commenter says, trauma, that's how. She didn't just have a miscarriage. They were murdered, taken from her.

There's no way to completely get over that. And it happened when she was 20. that's still recent. You will probably never understand the pain of losing not only one but two children to your abuser. But it is a pain like no other. I don't blame her for not wanting to talk about it, not wanting to relive it. It was a horrible time in her life. Why would she want to talk about it?

Especially since it's still quite fresh. and someone else says bro you're still making this about you do you not see that how could you not see that and you're still blaming her for not telling you after two years how couldn't she this is bonkers none of it not for a single second is about you at all you are aware you don't deserve her and never did right or her explanations or to understand her motives not her time or mental capacity and you definitely don't get to play boo-hoo pity party poor me. And what is wrong with you? Honestly, I really want to know what is wrong with your brain.

Your mom sounds cool. I'm not going to blame her for this. What you've done is so much more than some terrible mistake or a poor reaction. If you genuinely loved this woman, as you claim, the very moment you heard her wail in pain that her children are gone, you would have stopped then and there in your tracks and you wouldn't have thought

another think about yourself want to know why because that is the human condition of unconditional love and you are not it aside from the fact that the abject anger you casually described as building up inside of you being completely abnormal and terrifying

you had zero compassion for her suffering and even now still you don't you only feel sorry for yourself for what you've done and can't undo you feel sorry you can't fix this by comforting her through the grief you forced her to experience and someone else says yeah bra you effed up i can understand your initial surprise but you need to work on your temperament you stated how much you loved this woman and then completely did a 180 i would look at you differently too I'm glad you see how wrong you were. If she does leave you, you deserved it, but I'm always one for second chances if the person is truly deserving. Giving her space is a good idea, but if she does give you another chance, don't mess it up.

I would consider that you let her know you're open to discussing the kids, but only if she wants to, and then let that topic go forever. You know now, deal with it. no one's traumatic experience has to be shared. So to end your confusion, she doesn't owe you an explanation. She will tell you when she is ready. Like, how do you know if she told a past boyfriend and he blew up just like you? That would could have made her guarded.

It's not about you. And someone else says, I saw your original post about this and I gotta say that I hope she leaves you. You learned about something incredibly traumatic that she went through, and your entire reaction has been nothing about how you feel about it. Neither this post nor the original post show any matter of concern over how she is feeling or what she is going through because of your actions. You need to do some serious reflection and think about who you are and what kind of person

you are because right now you don't even come close to deserving her or anyone else get some therapy and shortly after this last update the opi's profile was banned and we have never heard from them ever again i ruined my life for a three-way my wife letty and i used to have an amazing relationship We met each other eight years ago, married four years ago, and we used to have a great marriage. We had our ups and downs, but we always solved any issue and never let a day pass before men things between us. We were happy. The last year, we started to be more adventurous in the bedroom. After an event in our family, Ledy decided to let go of her shyness and to live every single

thing she could think of. And that ended up in her becoming creative in the bedroom. We tried everything that caught our attention. If we see something at TV or read about it, we tried it. We had so much fun together. After trying something, she was very curious to try, she let me choose something too. She told me to choose, quote, something you ever wanted to try, but never had the chance. stupidly told her, I always wondered how would it be with two girls? She agreed and started to plan a three-way. I still regret that moment. We ended up choosing a girl we know, Abby, a friend of her from her job. She is the type of girl that believes on energies, crystals, vibes, etc. A free spirit girl, and she is nice to hang around. We told her, and she ended up accepting.

We chose her because we knew it was very probable she will accept. But we also chose her because physically she is very different from my wife. While she is small with pale skin, short hair and a little butt and breasts, not saying she is ugly, she is very cute. My wife has tanned skin, long beautiful hair, and a great body. The ideal was that, this way, there would not be insecurities about me comparing them or that I would prefer her. So we said it. She came to our place and we spent the night together.

And I regret it. Even if those hours were great in the moment, I would do anything to get back to that night and stop everything. The following days, everything was great. Lettie was happy that I liked it and Abby kept it private. So it was like another perfect adventure for us. Then, after a few days, Ledy started to become distant, sleeping on the other side of the bed, not wanting me to kiss her or hug her, not even cuddling. At first she said it was because she was tired, but after insisting, she told me it was due to the

three-way. She told me that, even if she had fun. that night, now she was feeling awful, cheated, and used. That the image of me making love to another woman was burned in her mind. She wasn't comfortable with me near to her. We tried talking about it, even got into counseling. I tried everything to make her sure I only love her. That it was just a fantasy that would never happen again. And then Abby called me, Her period was delayed, and she believed she could be pregnant. That killed my marriage.

My wife moved out from our house and had asked for a divorce. She said she can't be near to me, knowing that another woman is pregnant with my child is too much for her. She can't even see me. No matter what I do or say, for her, it's over. Meanwhile, Abby took a test and she was indeed pregnant. I still don't know how it happened. I used protection all the time. Even checked it after using it and still she is pregnant.

Abby is 100% sure the baby is mine. She says that before me, she hasn't done it with anyone else in months. And she is so sure about it that she even offered to make a DNA test when the baby is born, just to clear any doubts. I feel like I effed up all my life. Letty is the love of my life, and she doesn't want to see me. Abby is not a bad friend at all, but she is the type of person you can only take in small doses,

and now I'm bounded to her forever. She wants to keep the baby and wants me to be a part of the baby's life. Sometimes I want to just disappear. I'm desperate. My life is falling apart for that stupid mistake. I don't know what to do. Edit, thank you for all the comments. There are so much, so I thought it would be better to answer here just to make clear some things most of you are pointing out. Number one, I did use a contraceptive. We did it more than once that night and every single time I used protection. I bought them, checked them after finishing, and I disposed of them and finished outside. Number two, the three-way wasn't something we did in a rush. We took our time on planning it, talked a lot, and confirmed multiple times if we were really sure, and all the time we both were on it. Number three, we didn't jump straight into adding the third one, long time before that.

We started experimenting, playing, and being freaky. This was just another thing to try. No one was pressured into it. On the moment, I just said it because I couldn't think of anything else. I was surprised when she said we could try it. Number four, having an operation to have the baby removed is not an option here. Abby wants the baby. Number five, as much of you saw, English isn't my first language.

Sorry for my errors. And number six, I talked with Abby, and she is more than that. than willing to take a DNA test. And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says, Oh man, I hope this is just a story you made up. And another user says, Damn, man, I feel for you.

I think adult videos and modern culture has really distorted the perspective of intimacy and possibilities for both men and women. The fantasies that we think we want to come true, typically are better left as fantasies. I'm sorry you had to learn this the hard way. It's crazy how much you can lose something, so great in just moments.

Something you worked so hard for, invested so much in, and cared so much about. That feeling is devastating. And the fact that you have nobody to blame but yourself just leaves you in a place of silence and disappointment in oneself. We can always look back and say,

I could have done better, differently, more, less, whatever. Life's like that. We've all had some losses, some easier to swallow than others. This one is a really tough one, brother. Keep your head up. There's something to learn from everything in life.

How you choose to process this will determine much to come. Take care, man. And someone else says, have you guys never seen these threads before? I feel bad for you, but yeah. You do that stuff when you're young and single, If it ends in a relationship, it's not a big deal.

Don't gamble like that when you're in a serious relationship. Some can handle it, I guess, but you'll never know for sure, and the majority don't end well. Just search the Reddit post for this month alone. And someone else says, honestly, not to sound like a total a-hole, but I'm not surprised it turned out like this. My husband and I were at a pretty low point in our marriage, and I was trying to reconnect with him. We were having some big problems, and he had said were some really hurtful things that left me feeling like he really did not want to be with me and had never been that attracted to me. He had betrayed me in many, many, many ways, not had an affair with anyone, though, and I was trying to find something still left between us. And so I asked my husband the same thing.

I asked what his top intimate fantasy was, and we'd do it. Me thinking it would be something that he and I could share together that was just between us. us. His response was you and another woman. I was absolutely stabbed in the heart. I said, okay at first, but I was crushed and let my true feelings out later that afternoon. Here I am trying to find the passion between us, trying to ignite something in this dying marriage, and the first thing that comes to mind is effing someone else. He says he meant it as he wanted to watch me and another woman go at it, but the point still remains. I wanted something to bring us closer together, and all he thought of was bringing other women into our bedroom. I never went through with it,

but it still lowered my confidence in the relationship even more than it already was, and I still hate him for suggesting it just the same. And then the O.P. comes back about four months later, with an update, and it reads as follows. Hello. Some had sent me messages asking for an update and I think I can give one. Abby and I took the test. I am the father. She is open to do another test after the baby is born. If I want to be sure, but as things seems to be,

it's my baby. At first I took it the worst possible way. I kept torturing myself for being such an idiot. And reading some of the comments made me realize that I'm the biggest stupid for asking my wife to add another girl to our bedroom. Abby and I talked after the test. She is keeping the baby. She wants to be a mom and wants me to be the father for the baby.

She told me that she didn't expect me to start living with her and get married, just to take charge of the responsibilities that will come with the baby. And to get along and be good friends with the baby, She had also apologized for how things had developed, saying that she never wanted me to hurt me or Letty. Her intention was to just have fun, but that she is grateful and excited for the baby. She and I are on good terms now. I'm still not totally comfortable with her, and she's saying that if I can't save my marriage and end up divorce of my wife, she wouldn't mind having fun with me again.

Makes me doubt about her real intentions. On the other side, my wife hasn't started the divorce yet. She moved back and we have talked. At first, she was so angry at me. And I let her do and say all that she needed. Every insult and name I earned it. Then she got very sad. We cried together as she told me she still loves me.

She said she can't live without me, but can't live with me either after what happened. The three way is not the problem anymore. anymore. Now it's about me having a baby with Abby. It's hard that the both are confused and scared and still don't know if we will get over this. But the thing that have me even more confused is that recently my wife's libido has grown. For moments, she asked for intimacy and right after wants space. She wants to be freaky and do the things we used to try to play and right after she goes to another room. I've asked her and she said she doesn't.

know why she does it. She just feels that she needs it. She is still insecure about us, about what we are, where we are. Divorce is still on the table, so we are stuck. And then the O.P. says, I would like to do what to do. I don't know what they meant by that and says, but I don't know what is the right thing or how to solve this. I know I'll have to be responsible for the baby, but I want to save my marriage too. And then the O.P. adds some additional info in the comments that reads, We used contraceptives every time. One of the doctors told me that it is very rare, but contraceptives can fail. It needs a little even microscopic hole that is unnoticed and a lot of bad luck, but it's possible.

I throwed the used contraceptives in the room's trash bin. It would be impossible for her to take them without us noticing. It happened in our room and we stayed a little on the bed after we were done. after that we dressed and went to the kitchen for coffee, and after that she left. I don't know what are her real intentions, but I'm definitely not going to be with her. I'll take charge of my responsibilities as a father,

but just that. There wasn't many interactions between them. It was more both focused on me. The only things they did was when I asked them to kiss and when I was to do it with my wife. Abby was touching her body. Beside that, they'd be. barely interacted between them.

And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says, I'd be very careful and cautious with Abby with those comments. Hope Letty and you are healing. And the OP says, this is what I'm thinking. I don't fully trust her. And someone else says, I'm not jumping to Abby baby trapped to you, but her behavior now is throwing up major red flags. talk to a lawyer, get custody plans drawn up and ready to go, get another test at birth, and then put those plans into action.

As to what the plans should be, that's up to you and your wife. Whatever they are, they should keep your wife and Abby far, far apart. I suspect Abby may attempt to sabotage your marriage to free you up for fun and dad time. And we have never received another update from the OP because the OP, his account was shortly after banned, so I wonder what ended up happening with the OP, Abbey, and Lettie. But what do you guys think? There is something wrong with my wife. I'm posting this here because my wife does not use or even really know what Reddit is,

and I can't speak to anybody else but my therapist about it. I have tried asking friends and family, but none of them understand the gravity of what I'm saying. honestly. I'm a 37-year-old man and my lovely wife, 36 and I have little to no problems with each other. However, upon noticing little things that are mounting up to a rather terrifying level, I'm not sure I can ignore this anymore. She's a great person. She's done so much for me this whole marriage and respects that I do not want to have intimacy after a rather traumatizing experience that I don't need to get into.

She does little things that shows she listens and cares about me, and I do the same for her. I want to stay with her because we've been married for 10 years now and she is all I know. But lately, I just don't know what's going on and why she's acting the way that she is. The first notable time was when we found an egg on the curb.

We assumed it was from our neighbor, given that they have chickens and maybe an egg rollout or something. Without a second thought, my wife stomped on the egg. Now, I would have been fine had it been an infertile egg or a cooking egg without anything. But the entire fetus was seen, and I threw up. She laughed, saying that it was funny. and at least the neighbors don't have to worry about another chicken. I told myself that it was just an egg,

and she had no idea that there would be a fetus in it. But her reaction afterwards rattled me. I brushed it off because, like I said, I love her. Maybe that is stupid, but I do. I really love her. But the things continued, and my love for her is wavering. Some notable things I remember. were stated below. We have a dog. We will call him Butter. Butter is the most calm

dog in the world and housebroken and well trained. However, one time he was very sick and irritated and he went number two on the carpet. My wife screamed at Butter. Screamed. I told her to stop because the damage was done already and Butter is a dog who was sick. I cleaned the carpet and she never blew up at Butter again. But it rubbed me the wrong way on how mean she was to him. I understand that she was frustrated, but Butter started crying and trying to give her paw, and she just kept screaming at him. My mom passed in 2020, natural causes.

But I was very close with her, and it took many years to accept it. I keep her favorite bracelets on a table with family photos of her and me. One day it was missing and I had a panic attack. The bracelet was made by my mom's grandfather and she wore it every day. It was a part of her. But when I told my wife, she told me that she sold it. I sobbed. I wasn't mad at her, just devastated.

But soon after, the bracelet was back on the table and I asked her about it. She started laughing and saying that, you should have seen your face. When we were gardening, I noticed I dropped my keys. She was grouchy since it was hot, and she was planting flowers since the morning. When she found them, she threw them at my face and it cut my nose. She felt horrible, but that reaction threw me off. One time after work on Halloween, I was feeling particularly depressed for no reason. I don't blame her for this, but she played a prank on me and jumped scared me,

something we'd do every Halloween. I started crying and having a breakdown because it was kind of my last straw for me after my shift. She laughed and kept laughing, then went back to the living room and watched TV. One time on Facebook, we found out that a classmate had been in a car accident. I told her, and she shrugged, saying that she didn't really know her, so it doesn't matter. It's okay for her to not care about the victim, but the poor girl was heavily injured. and my memories of her from school were pleasant, and she genuinely didn't deserve what happened.

My wife and I love horror. We are horror fans, but I cannot stand violence against animals. It disturbs me. So when we put on it when evil lurks, as you can imagine, I threw up. The kicker is that she had seen it, but wanted to watch it with me,

since she loves it so much. I'm happy she loves it, but I would have appreciated a warning, which I vocalized. She shrugged it off and that was that. That's a few, but the worst of it happened just yesterday. I tried my hardest to not say anything, but it might be my last straw. I was cleaning up our room and my wife was at work, and I found a journal buried underneath the mattress as I was swapping sheets.

For some reason, I opened it and realized that it was my wife's diary. I would have put it back if I didn't see the words on the page. I was horrified. She wrote that when she was driving, there was a line of geese crossing the street. Annoying, yes, but the thing you were supposed to do is, wait. My wife wrote that geese are a useless species, so it shouldn't matter if a few get run over. Yes, she just ran over two geese on the road. again I was horrified

I know what people will say so I'm going to answer a few questions I love her I recognize that sometimes her behavior is unacceptable and concerning I recognize the concern which is why I am here in the first place but you all have to realize that

for the past 16 years now she has been my world we dated for six years before getting married and it's been 10 years since our wedding. In those 16 years, I have witnessed her go through horrific things, and she's witnessed the same. It's hard to sum up those 16 years, but it's difficult, and I'm already saying too much. I noticed the change over the past three or so years. Even then, in the moment, I didn't see it as an issue until reading that little journal diary.

I can't just leave her, but I can't act the same around her after finding out. I realize that I need to confront her about what I saw, but truthfully, I am afraid. I never knew it was something she was capable of until I read it and started putting the pieces together. Whatever is going on, I don't know what to do with it. She has a therapist, and so do why. She seems genuine, but I don't know what to do. do, knowing that she willingly killed an animal without any remorse. Honestly, I just don't want to leave her. I met her young and all I know is her. She's seen me through the most vulnerable parts of my life and

vice versa. Her family and my family are basically intertwined. We all love each other. She's basically been there longer than when she hasn't. If I have to leave her, I think that. I think that. That'll be it for me. That'll be all I have. I'm 37, which isn't old, but also not desirable either. I don't even know why she had a crush on me because I personally don't think I'm desirable. I don't even know if this post will make sense. I don't know if anyone will take the time out of their day to read my struggles.

My therapist is on vacation, so I can't tell her yet. I need somebody to talk to. Because everybody that I'm telling brushes it off, since she is a very sweet person to them. I just want to fix this. Edit, answering some questions. I said she's witnessed, horrific thing.

I mean that a family member of hers has passed and one of our mutual friends passed as well. But this didn't happen until months later. We have no kids. I had a rough experience I won't delve into that has made me realize I am A intimate. And I will ask her soon.

And now let's get into some of the top comments. One user says, I'll be super honest with you. I was married for nine years to someone just like your wife. The last straw. One of my cats being beaten

to the point of her face being so swollen that one eye was shut for a week and she didn't get out of her hiding spot for three days. Urine and feces in the corner of a closet. I guess she couldn't bring herself to make a run for the litter box

in case she would encounter him. I was out the door in a week. It took everything from me, but I knew this would escalate. Don't wait too long, O.P., this sounds like a psychopath slash covert narcissism. Be safe. Take care, and please confide in family members or friends you trust. Let people know what is going on. And another user says, you have a low self-esteem.

That much is obvious from the way you write and describe yourself. That is why you want to stay with a woman who has no empathy. Takes pleasure and animals being harmed, even killed. And while this would normally be unnerving and freak someone out, you seem keen to turn a blind eye. People who hurt animals and take pleasure out of it start with animals, but it graduates to human beings. I'm so glad you don't have any kids with her.

You have said you don't want to leave her and strangely, you seem to believe that at the age of 37 you're on the shelf, You talk about families being intertwined and that you've known her for years and years. So what? People get divorced after years of having enmeshed lives, mutual friends, shared assets, children, pets, etc. So what if you share these things or have been together for years? Is that reason enough to ignore and turn a blind eye to what sounds like psychopathic behavior? She seems genuine and she has a therapist. Well, she is very aware of how she's she comes across and she wants you to remain in the marriage so she can continue to manipulate you,

so of course she can do all the right things and come across as cooperative and reflective. She's not silly at all, and she knows exactly what she is doing. She hasn't become this way. Her mask slips every now and then, but she puts the mask back on to keep you where you are, exactly where she needs you to be. This is just the tip of the iceberg. I'm telling you, you don't know your wife like you think you do. And the O.P responds and says,

I just don't know what changed. I don't. That's what disturbs me. She wasn't always like this. And then the O.P. comes back a few weeks later with an update and let's get into it. It reads, Answering some concerns, thank you for your comments and your time. I've had a long month and there's a lot to say,

but I honestly cannot stress enough how much your support in words, harsh or not, mean to me. I'll say what has been on my mind lately, but if anybody just came for this, here it is. I'm leaving my ex-wife, Anna, but we are still living together as I pack my things. I'm not really scared of her anymore, so that's her name.

I sat down and had a conversation with her. Everything I wrote down and posted here was copy and pasted from Google Docs. I left some details out since they were identifiable for both Anna and I. I showed it to her and she blew up at me. I understand why she was angry. I did share information about our marriage and life on the internet. Her emotions were reasonable, but I started to get very irritated. She listened to the word vomit that she just spewed out.

She didn't interrupt me or yell at me because I think she realized in that moment how badly it was all affecting me. I begged her to just hear me out and surprisingly she did. She admitted to me that she also recognized that she was changing and told her therapist about it. Do I believe her? Not really. She said that she's been scaring herself and that she's been having anger issues flaring up that she's noticed. and as some of you predicted, she didn't want to give intimacy up, so she cheated on me with some guy she met at her job.

Honestly, by the time she explained herself, I didn't care because I don't. With everything that has happened, this was the least shocking. I asked Anna, genuinely, if she loved the man she met and she said yes, which hurt but also didn't seem like a surprise to me. I told Anna,

that if she didn't love me, I can divorce her and we can figure out the separation and home situation. She agreed far too quickly, but I was so emotionally exhausted and done with her stuff that it didn't register how little she valued the marriage to just toss it out like it was nothing. I just told her that for the next guy, she needs to get help. She agreed that she would check herself into the hospital. Some of you suggested a tumor, but that wasn't the case. Her explanation was that the other

man got her into drugs. That's all I will say on that matter because it's all she told me. At this point, I don't even care what the reason was because the impact was the same. Honestly, I'll forever kick myself down for not recognizing any warning

signs sooner. It should have never gone to the point that it did and while it may not be my fault, I'm haunted every day by the thought that I could have been smarter and stopped her from doing everything that she did. When I say that she wasn't always like this, I mean it. She didn't give a specific date from when her affair started, so I can't pinpoint it to the exact event that happened. I miss the woman she used to be, the lovely girl I've known for almost two decades. I know this was something that it had to be done, but no matter how many times I tell myself

that it doesn't make me feel any better. For those wanting to know, butter is safe. He's a good boy and he's staying with my sister while I pack up to leave. My wife never physically hurt him, but she has yelled at him a few times. It hurts not having him here all the time since my sister's house is 30 minutes away, but he's safe and I actually see him tonight. I also informed my family about this situation. I didn't want to, but I knew it was necessary. They understand and apologize for their brushing off of the situation. But to be fair, I downplayed it, so that could also be why they didn't see it as an issue. Her family knows we are splitting up as well.

As for me, I don't really have friends that are available that often, so I've spent most of my time alone in the house and thinking to myself. It was our house at one point. I remember when we first bought it and how she excited she was. my best friend and I are going out to eat together, so that's something to look forward to. And she's still admitted. I don't hear from her because they take your phone away in the hospital. I hope she can recover, but after everything that my therapist, family, best friend, and you guys have said, I can't bring myself to stay with her.

Breaking it off felt like ripping my own arm off. I was devastated and still am. She seemed distraught. as well, but I don't know what to believe anymore. I don't think she doesn't care about me. I think there's a part of her that still cares, but maybe I'm wishfully thinking. Even through everything, I can't be mad at her, but I know loving her isn't good for me. Is it wrong to forgive her? To see everything from her side? It hurts. It really does. I don't know anything but her. It feels like my life.

life is over, even though it isn't. I don't want to date again, but I just want to connect with other people. It didn't click how isolated I was until I left, and I realize now that she is at fault for my lack of communication with anybody. If I had to conclude this jumbled mess of an update, it would be this. I'm going to be fine. It's only been like two weeks, but it's been the longest two weeks of my life. I realize that there are more people around that support and care about me. It honestly was really hard to accept that Anna was a disturbed individual who didn't love me. Sometimes I still convince myself that she does, but everybody around me states that she doesn't, and I'm coming to terms with this. It's progress. I've spent more than 16 years with this woman

tormenting me and I have a warped perception of reality. It truly is not easy to experience any of this and honestly sometimes I want to come back to her. But I know that maybe I can find the woman or man for me that will love me the way I need to. I am working out in therapy and honestly I'm still frightened of Anna. But I am thankful that she was the catalyst to a new chapter of my life. I learned a lot from this, mostly what love is and isn't. Thanks. You guys have good perspectives on things.

I can't say that Reddit is what fixed my problems, but I can say that leaving was a result of the extra push you guys provided. I wish Anna the best, wherever the future takes her. While I'm sad that the future will not have me in it, I think this was the best for both of us, since she didn't seem to love me and I now fear her. This should be the end of my updates. I don't really see this updating further unless something happens with her. I want to be done with this and I want to move on. And spoiler alert, this is not the end of it.

But let's get into some of the top comments. One user says, please do not look back after this. I think she'll come back claiming she's, a better person and so on. And someone replies and says, cannot stress this enough. Do not ever take her back. And she will try. They always do. You can love her from afar, but love yourself more and choose yourself. Another commenter says, be prepared for her to come crawling back to you, begging for another chance once she gets clean. Don't let her in because there is a pretty high

chance she won't stay clean and she'll drag you down with her also be prepared that you're likely to get a call in a couple of years that she has OD'd and another user says i'm just curious if this was a sudden shift in behavior for her or were these things accumulating over the years either way she's a very sick person it's not your fault you did well by leaving it's probably weird slash mean list coming from a stranger, but I'm proud of you, O.P. My dad was very similar to your wife. It started with hurting animals for his amusement. He got worse and worse with age, and he became more violent and abusive. The difference is you didn't bring children into the mix, and you left when he had to. I left the house completely no contact, married, and left the country when I was no longer a punching

bag in a target. He killed my mom. and then committed S-word. There's more to the story, but you get the idea. You didn't let yourself or anyone else in your life become a victim, and I'm glad. This could have gone so much worse, and I can't say for certain this would have happened to you, but I do know that you saved yourself from a lot of hardship and trauma. Don't ever look back and keep yourself safe. It's not a bad idea to install security cameras just in case.

But then the OPE comes back a few weeks later with a post titled, I genuinely thought I was safe, but nope, and it reads as follows. I won't write a big essay. I'm just going to lay out what happened so I can make sense of it. I'm not A-intimate, and I recently discovered that. I let a lot slide with Anna, but I think the reason I was afraid to have intimacy with her was because last time she and I did, she drew blood. So I was afraid of her.

Either way, if you read my previous post, you'll know the shit my ex was up to. I was recovered for the most part, but today as I typed this, she forced me into intimacy. It's not something I'm going to get into, but she's being taken care of. I scheduled an emergency therapy appointment,

and I'm holding my dog. I just honestly need a break. I'm so tired of her coming back to me when I'm finally in a better place. Apparently, that rehab didn't work. Whatever. I feel gross and I just need somebody to tell. But I can't tell anybody this. I just can't bring myself to talk about it.

And then the OP comes back a few weeks later with a new update and it reads as follows. There is something wrong with my now ex-wife. I was hoping I would never be able to use this account again, but unfortunately it seems like this woman is haunting me like a ghost. Anna is out of rehab, but as a few of you speculated, she lied the whole time. I do not care whatsoever, but it was quite a shock to see her. I walked into the house that we used to share to grab something, and of course she was there. She was inebriated and unloaded onto her. me about how much she misses me. She was lying in her journal. She wishes she never cheated on me

and that she misses sleeping next to me. All that manipulator shit. I admittedly felt awful for her because she looked so much worse. Despite how horrific she is, I still spent so much of my life caring about and loving her. Something happened in the time it took for me to get what I needed, which I don't need to delve into because I already posted about it, but it's never been harder to have a mental breakdown. I'm not going to date seriously anytime soon, but I will admit that the man I'm talking to is a breath of fresh air, unlike Anna. He has empathy.

Regarding people asking me to take legal action, I'm going to file a restraining order on her. For extra measure, I do have plans to, move in with somebody else as well. I'm doing my best to keep everything vague because she knows I have social media and am afraid she'll find a way to find me. I'll be safe, but I don't think she will ever fully go away. Therapy has been good.

Still have a lot to work on. As for Butter, whose real name is Buddy. In Toronto, every arrival is a statement and nothing says it better than this. Cadillac Optic was the number one selling luxury EV in Canada for 2025. Find your rhythm across a seamless. 33-inch display and an immersive 19 speaker AKG surround audio system. This city demands agility and optic delivers with precision to make every drive extraordinary. Let's take the Cadillac.

Find out more at Cadillac Canada.ca. Luxury sales claim based on S&P Global Mobility Canadian New Vehicle Total Registrations for calendar year 2025 for the Cadillac definition of luxury. He's still a good boy and cheers me up. Things are looking up despite the fact that today was hell on earth. I cannot thank this subreddit enough. Anna took away a lot of my support systems, but now that she's fully out of my life, I can meet new people and talk about my problems to those who won't make me feel insane. P.S. Regarding people who mentioned my throwing up a lot, I have an awful habit of vomiting when extremely anxious.

It's better now that I'm sober, alcohol sensitivities and whatnot. And for the fact that I identified as A-intimate, I figured out that I am not. I omitted some things, Anna did to me and all I will say is that I was not an intimate. I was just petrified of her. If any of you ask about the man, Anna knew I'm bisexual and was cool with it the whole relationship. Lastly, some people said I cried a lot. I did. I do. I'm emotional. But also looking back, living with her was like living in an active war zone. And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says, I remember your story now. I was very afraid you were going to stay because she had her claws in pretty deep. Kind of surprise you didn't change the locks on the doors unless she broke in or you aren't permitted to change them. If you can, change the locks to protect your

house from becoming vandalized by this unhinged individual. Also, take all your important papers and information with you in case she does something psychotic. Please, stay safe, OP. And the O.P. responds and says, I'm trying my best. Fortunately, she doesn't know where the one person lives. My family is safe as well. Quite horrifying, though. And another user says, I'm so sorry your ex-wife assaulted you again. I hope you are safe and I'm glad buddy is safe. Please don't ever be alone with your ex again. We are pulling for you and support your decision to keep yourself safe. I'm so glad you have a therapist to help you through this escape from abuse.

And the O.P. responds and says, Thank you. Unfortunately, I'm not surprised that she'd cross the line again, but it always sucks. Thinking about it more thoroughly. She did casually violate my consent on different occasions. And then the O.P. comes back a few days later with another horrifying update titled, Get the actual F away from me. And it reads as follows.

I have put up with your shit for nearly 11 years at this point. I genuinely do not like myself for not leaving you after you R-worded me. I genuinely don't like myself for letting all the things you did to me slide. The audacity you have to R-word me again is effing ludicrous. I've never been so whittled down to nothing in my entire life. And the second I'm starting to get past the psychological tors. torture you put me through, you show up and do this to me. Anna, if you are reading this, because you always find a way to invade my privacy, just know that you are a deeply disturbed

individual who I never want to see again. I can't believe that I've let you abuse me and disrespect me. I truly hope that whoever you're with now gives you whatever you need that I was missing. I truly defended you every time people came to me with their concerns and deluded myself to think that you were a good person. It hurts because you effed me up to the point where I became a bad person. The difference between me and you is that one of us is capable of self-reflecting. You have completely shattered my confidence, my ability to feel safe, and my trust in anybody. You claim that you miss and still love me, but you're fooling yourself. No person that loves me would ever make me feel like this.

Leave me alone. Leave me alone. You clearly hated me so much. Leave me alone. I just want to feel safe. You have a whole other man. Just go to him and leave me behind. You are deeply sick.

And now let's get into some of the top comments. One user says, Restraining order. I hope you find peace. And another user says, Mate, I've been in your shoes and it isn't fair. You get ridiculed and mocked no matter who you tell. It feels like no one is on your side.

However, the tide is hopefully changing. Hopefully the media in the world can see that men can be victims of DV and S.A. How many men do we lose to S word over this? Because the Sward rate among men is sway too high. Chin up, soldier. I promise you it gets easier. find a trusted one to talk to please, even if it's professional counseling. And then the OP comes back a few weeks later with an update titled, Thank You, Reddit, and it reads as follows.

August 10th, 2024 was the day I decided to end my marriage with my abuser. She tore me down, frightened me, made me feel horrible and isolated myself. However, that was also the best decision I've ever made in my life. Today is Thanksgiving. I never really cared too much about this holiday, but it is the perfect opportunity to express my gratitude. While Reddit isn't known for its amazing and accepting community, there are enough good eggs out there who I must thank for giving me that final push in the right direction.

Thank you. A lot of you may think, hey, we're just. strangers on the internet but in reality you guys changed my life i don't know what would happen to me if i stayed with my ex i asked myself that every day since i decided to end our relationship would i be dead would i be brainwashed like some cult member would i commit s word who knows at the time nobody really talked to me willingly i was the worst version of myself because of how much i held on to the threat of hope that my ex could change. Stupid as it is, that's how warped my mindset was at the time.

I have found myself talking to more people, reaching out to friends I hadn't even spoken to in years, apologizing to those I snapped at while defending my ex and getting closer with my family. Things aren't picture perfect since life doesn't flow like movies. I'm not even close to fully healing. Everything she did to me will forever haunt me. I find myself falling into depressive episodes. I sometimes consider unblocking her.

The thing about healing, though, is that you need to mentally surround yourself with people who have patience for you. I found that. I'm not happier. I'm safer. I'm going to be forever thankful to those who read my original post and commented,

begging for me to leave and get help. So many people telling me to leave at once basically flip the switch in my brain. I'm rambling on and on, but the gist is, thank you, Reddit, thank you, family, thank you friends. And then the O.P. comes back a few months later with a post titled, hopefully my final update, and it reads as follows. Hello, Reddit. I've been lucky enough to make progress in my healing journey.

Anna has since been completely out of my life, so I've mostly moved on from her. I feel like I constantly repeat myself when I say it's going to take a long, long time for me to fully accept and heal for my past. I've made new friends and have a partner. Butter has passed away and that's a pain that I can't get over, but I'm happier knowing he passed peacefully in his plane with my mother in the clouds. She was obsessed with him. He was a senior and died at a whopping 15 years old. He lived a good life. I have friends now.

It's nice being around people. I have a 9 to 5 that is okay but keeps my days busy. Therapy regularly. If anything big happens, I'll make sure to put it into the void since I like to keep track on here in journaling. I'm doing it well. I'm okay. Alive. Maybe we'll adopt another good boy or girl. For the foreseeable future, this is my last update. A lot has changed in a year and more is in store for me, but at least I'm not alone anymore. I'm logging out of this account. I'm logging out of this account. and will likely not come back. But that's a good thing.

If you never see me, assume things are going well. Thank you. And we have never heard from the O.P. ever again. Tonight, I broke up with my boyfriend because he kept joking about murdering me. During our first few weeks of dating, he joked too much for comfort

that he was going to murder and dismember me and dispose of my body. Maybe out of context, I'm being dramatic. He's very sarcastic and has dark humor. But to me, it wasn't funny. And caused me anxiety because I know the statistics. I talked to him about this. I told him, repeatedly,

stop joking about killing me. He kept on with the jokes. Until I finally told him that those jokes literally scare me. He apologized. and seemed to feel bad that his jokes made me scared of him. Tonight we are over three hours late to meet with his brother to play games, watch movies, and eat dinner. When I was there, talking to him about us being late,

I noticed he sighed deeply, clenched his fist and looked down at it. As if he were making the conscious choice not to punch me? Then, as I was saying goodbye to his brother, he comes into the room and says, she should say her permanent goodbyes. I asked him WTF. He said it was a joke. I asked, how's it funny? What's the punchline? Please explain to me how that was supposed to be funny. He couldn't answer. I didn't want to get in the car with him. I walked off and thankfully my roommate picked me up and drove me home. He called later and I told him, I'm done. He's a good man other than for the jokes about killing me. We talked about and agreed that. he wouldn't joke about killing me anymore. But then he did it again tonight.

And doubled down that it was just a joke and that actually I'm the problem. I started telling him again about how often women are killed by their husbands and boyfriends, and that's why the jokes bother me so much, but he interrupted me to say, F, you. So I hung up and blocked him. All of this really sucks because my roommates say I should. just talk it out with him and give him another chance because they can tell I really like him and he really likes me. But I already did that. I thought we were past the murder jokes. Then he did it again tonight while he was angry with me. And it caused me this awful feeling in my

gut that I needed to not get in the car with him and get away from him. I've had boyfriends and male friends in the past. None of them have ever made jokes about murdering me and dismembering me. especially multiple times after I told them to stop. Have you had friends slash boyfriends that make jokes like this? Where is the humor in it? What would you do in this situation? And then the O.P makes an update on the same post the next day that reads, Thank you everyone for your overwhelming support.

Also thank you for the important links and resources in the comments. I've learned a lot and shared them with my friends. I love this sub. I haven't heard from him and he hasn't caused any trouble since the breakup. If anything comes up, I will update this post. And now let's get into some of the top comments. One user says, you've already given him chances. He agreed to change.

Then he broke his word. So not only is he verbally abusive and potentially violent, he also breaks his word. You did nothing wrong. There is no humor in what he said. And abusers frequently excuse their abuse in the two ways he did.

First, they say it was a joke. If you don't accept that, they try to blame it on you. You don't want to become a statistic. Well, there are plenty of men out there who will never threaten to kill you. You have done exactly the right thing. Don't feel bad about anything you've done.

My one piece of old woman advice to you is to be very strict around dating men when it comes to threats. Joke or not. If a man threatens you in any way, tell him that if he does it ever again, it's over. Don't tolerate any kinds of threats or violence ever. If the man is actually a danger, he will see tolerance as a sign that he can violate your boundaries without consequence. And another user says,

just remember there is a lot of murdered women that once said he'd never do that to me. And another user says, When I was a teenager, I would go driving around country roads and around our smallish town with male buddies from school. I'm a woman. And one night, my really good friend thought it would be a good idea to make a joke about chopping me up with an axe. I got terrified because it was just an overwhelming and scary thing to hear and I started to cry. The immediate regret was obvious in my friend's eyes,

and he genuinely looked mortified for having scared me so badly. He started to apologize and saying it was such a joke and reassured me. In the moments after making his stupid attempt at humor and seeing the impact it had, he felt remorse and wanted to correct his behavior. Your ex did not do this, or if he did, he immediately repeated the scary behavior again anyways. My friend never made a joke like that ever again.

Men who actually care about us will respond empathetically to our fear response and will want to do whatever it takes to ensure we feel safe around them, especially if it's as simple as refraining from making dumb jokes. I hope you never have to see this creep again, and good for you for sticking up for yourself. And we don't hear from the OP for a long, long time, about 11 months. But 11 months later, the OP comes back with another update and let's get into it. It's titled, I broke up with my boyfriend because he kept making jokes about murdering me.

I hope I'm not breaking any subreddit rules by posting an update, but I thought this sub would like this update from all the feedback my OP received and all the messages. I read requesting an update. My original post was almost a year ago. Thankfully, I have moved to cross-state since then and have not seen him since. The last time I spoke to him over the phone, I made it very clear several times. Me.

You promised you'd stop making jokes about murdering me, but then you did it again. You realize the greatest threat for women is being murdered by their boyfriend slash husbands? They are most likely to be killed by men they know. And him said, Hey, Chugnose?

F you. So I hung up. I ghosted him after that. Blocked him on everything and alerted my employer if he showed up that he was a threat. However, he sent me an email in an attempt to, I don't know,

I'll leave you to draw conclusions because I can't really make sense of it. I'm sorry if I quoted it incorrectly. I'm on mobile. The email he sent me. Dear my name. He got my name wrong multiple times and it became a joke, which is what he refers to here. I don't really know how to go about saying that I am empathetic, as I'm a me pathetic mess.

But I do feel I can understand and I have recognized. My actions have consequences, clearly. I thought I was being reasonable. I gave you time and space. I wasn't sure how long I needed to wait. Or if I should just do nothing, but I didn't know you had even blocked me until today, as I had not called and only texted that first day,

expecting nothing back. Yet now I understand I should have known. I tried to call you tonight, though. Despite my better judgment, that's when it hit me hard. It's been almost two weeks. I know you don't want to be in a relationship with me, but I wanted to end this civilly. I could hope, at least, on terms that we both could live on, amicably, or me, since I didn't have a choice.

That terrible night was booze-ridden, and unfortunately for me, the end of us. I didn't get any chance, but I made my choices, and I was cut out for you, like the cancer I became, regardless of how much I remember due to my memories being cut down by Irish whiskey and I hazed focused. You ghosted me. Now I know how that feels as I have done that to others. I deserve this. It's interesting because you mentioned to me that I never had to change my number in my last

relationship over five years ago because all I needed to do was block them. Damn, history not only repeats itself, but can be. effing ironic. I lost one of my best friends. I lost you. I have been hurting no, P. This hurt even more when I realized you don't even want to communicate with me. I would ask why, but I know it's because you hate me, what you think of me, what you think I am, who likes Andrew Tate, nobody. I embody that nobody. I am hate. I am Tate. I obviously have a lot of growing up to do.

I was not aware of just how much I do not regret you, or the experiences I shared, which were awesome and different than all the treasures I had experienced with another soul. We had so much in common, and yet, the few things we didn't shape itself into a shadow that blocked our light, your light. I regret not realizing that perhaps I was just not ready. You are so beautiful and awesome, O.P., and I hate hurting you in any way,

especially since you deserve so much love, and instead I gave you fear. You, however, only gave me happiness. You made me feel wanted, so much so that it blindsided me. I haven't been that happy in a very long time, and maybe that's why I felt for you so hard and so fast, as I had been in the dark for years, and your essence got me as high as a kite. I could see the sky for once. I was flying. I had been grounded since I had lost my wings a few years ago, and it showed.

I started sinking in the sands of time, in bottles, in gates drowned by my fears. My brother lost a friend because of me. I lost because of me. I may be a good person, that does bad things, but I did. did a bad thing to a good person. It scares me to think that when we do, and it will inevitably happen, as it's a small town, run into each other. You will fear me, and I will fear you. I don't want that, but I made my grave, and I suppose I need to sleep in it. I will not call you again, as I did tonight, as much as I want to. You can always call me, but I am aware that it is

about as real as my dreams coming true. I have respected your space. I haven't tried to suffocate it or breathe your air. I just wanted to bury myself with a little dignity today, considering that I must be public enemy number one. I'm embarrassed to admit that running into your roommates or even coworkers makes me feel uncomfortable that I did to myself and you. I'm sorry, O. P. I don't know. what else to say. I know you'll find someone sooner or later who will treat you with respect and make you feel loved. I am not him. I failed, but you will have that. As much as I don't want to think about it, and you deserve it as much as I didn't commit to that. I know you think I don't love you. You can ghost me. You cannot respond. I don't think you will anyways. Maybe you won't even read this,

which is okay. I needed to stay my peace, to rest at sea. But you can't take away how I felt or how I feel at all. Maybe that was the problem. I was too much. You thought I was just a blimp in time anyhow.

And now that blimp can finally sink in time. And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says, people talking about this man being sociopath, slash psychopath slash narcissistic. To me, he sounds like a generic boy that is trying to verbalize his emotions for the first time. I don't know how old he is, but it reads like the letters my first boyfriend at 20 years old sounded, trying to be poetic and funny and failing at both.

And just word vomiting emotions without fully understanding them. Yeah, that's just a normal dude learning his actions have consequences for the first time. and the OP responds to this and says, he's like 40. Another user says, this reminds me of how an ex responded to me many years ago when I broke up with him. I broke up with him because I started getting this weird gut feeling

that I didn't feel comfortable being alone with him and he was getting very possessive and a bit manipulative. I even had a close family friend reach out to me to hesitantly share that she was not sure why, but she was worried about me being alone with him. He responded via texts by trying every manipulation technique in the book from telling me he was sobbing and to please take me back. To saying I had just been using him and was a liar to telling me he didn't know how he was going to go on with his life. His reaction made me realize I absolutely made the right choice.

And the OPE he responds and says, Thank you for sharing. It's so important to trust our instincts. And someone else says, Shadow that blocked our light, your light. Am I the only one who read it as another death threat? Blocking the light with capital letters,

implying she will be turned off? O.P. Please do not lower your guards and be careful. And the O.P responds and says, Wow, you have a great point. I had not considered that until now. And we have never heard from the O.P. ever again, but hopefully they are doing well. I just caught my younger brother trying to record me

when I was unclothed. I don't know if he's done this before. So a little background info. I'm 19 female. My younger brother is 12. I still live at home. I told my brother that I was going to take a shower because he always hugs the one bathroom with the shower. Well, I noticed he was in the bathroom for a few seconds with the door open. So I thought he was just grabbing deodorant or something. I told him to leave, walked inside, closed the door, and proceeded to look at my face in the mirror, when I noticed his phone propped up against some things.

He had angled it so he would get a nice shot of me before and after showering. I didn't want him to notice that I noticed his phone recording, so I casually knocked it over and didn't turn it off. Hopefully he'll think it just fell over. I've accidentally walked in on him watching adult videos several times and always pretended that I didn't notice when he quickly minimized the window. He's getting old now, and I recognize that it's a normal sort of thing for a boy his age. However, what I am not comfortable with is him peeping at me,

and he is old enough to know that it is not okay to do something like that. I'm a bit afraid to confront him or my mother for several reasons. Number one, I am a very private person, so I would be very uncomfortable. I suppose that's not a very good reason, but it is one. Number two, my brother is a very sensitive person. Once, when I caught him swearing, he started crying hysterically. I don't really want to confront him, but I don't really want to confront him, but I'm I am paranoid of him doing it again.

So, what should I do? Should I even do anything? Is this common? Edit. Okay, the verdict is that I'm just going to be careful and assume this is a one-time incident. If it happens again, I will somehow confront him using one or more of your suggestions. Edit two, well, shit. He did it again.

His PC looked clean earlier, but now I'm super paranoid. that I miss stuff. I decided to write a note for the camera telling him that it was not okay. We'll see what happens. But everything is going to be super weird from now on. And now let's get into some of the top comments. One user says, I would suggest, ultimately, to tell him not to do that. He needs to be told that isn't an appropriate thing to do.

Both secretly filming girls and secretly filming his sister. Two options in my mind, vaguely direct and bluntly indirect. Vaguely direct, mention his phone if you notice again. Hey, don't forget your phone. Shows that you're paying attention and that he can't get away with it. Maybe when conversation allows, bring up creep shots when he is within ear shot. Make sure he can hear someone say that it's inappropriate and creepy. Plants a little seed in his head at the very least, that this isn't something people should do.

bluntly indirect. Leave him a note. I noticed your phone in the bathroom recording. That was really creepy. Don't do it again. You can make it vague too. But sometimes a very direct note is the easiest way to get information across. Act normal around him, though.

Give him a chance to move past this. Twelve-year-olds are weird as hell sometimes. If my childhood was anything to go by. Also, I liked what another user said. Find him some sort of pamphlet or book on mail, intimacy and just casually leave it for him somewhere. While mileage may vary, I was a very private and easily upset child. And my mother communicated intimacy ed through pamphlets with a little note saying, ask me if you have any questions. It worked surprisingly well. And the O.P. responds and

says, My mom gave me a book when I was younger. I didn't like that she did it, honestly. It just made me uncomfortable and I think it'd be the same for him. They teach intimacy ed, school though right now i'm going to assume it was an isolated incident if it happens again i will try one of your suggestions thanks and another user says you need to check his phone and pc now for explicit videos or pictures of you don't even ask your mom first just go in there and do it you're an adult he could have explicit videos of you released on the internet and you would never know it deal with your brother after This needs a confrontation, not getting caught will emboldened him, and you're not doing anything to help a begrudgeoning perv. And someone else says, I don't have any advice for you, but when I was in high school, one of my classmates was extremely gorgeous.

I heard from a few people that her little brother would take pictures of her explicitly and sell them to his friends. Maybe your brother is doing the same? I don't know if this will make you feel better or worse about your situation. And the O.P. responds and says, yeah, I don't know. I've heard stories like that. I don't think he has too many friends and he is pretty shy, so hopefully not. And then the OPE comes back one month later with an update and it reads as follows. So my younger brother has again been spying on me, unclothed, in the bathroom for months. What do I do?

It kept happening. So I told my mom and she confronted him. I have no idea what she told him. But he seemed to stop. Well, whenever I'm in the bathroom, I hear the floor creaking outside. I've opened the door before and didn't see anyone. So I had always assumed that it was just the house shifting. Well, today I opened the bathroom door after a shower and sitting on the bathroom.

room floor, unclothed and redidding to find my brother laying there with a camera pointed under the door. I didn't realize you were able to see under it. This means that he has been spying on me unclothed for months instead of just a few times like the previous incident. Do I just tell my mom again about this? Clearly it didn't do anything last time. I can't destroy his phone because my mom will have to pay for that. Edit, well, I told my mom again, but I guess we'll see how this develops. I can provide updates later if anything happens. A few suggestions I liked were disabling the camera on his phone and getting him into some sort of therapy. The latter may be difficult to come by due to money, but we'll see what happens. I'm also interested in restricting his fun activities,

but I'm worried it'll just leave more time for him to plot about me. Let me know what you think about this and anything. And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says, is there no father figure to talk to him? I don't think it's acceptable your brother to be doing this. I'm not trained in this field, but I can't imagine it is healthy for your brother to be doing this. It would be a temporary solution, but try blocking the crevice below the door with the towel. Your brother may indeed need a psychologist at some comments from a year ago state. And the O.P. responds and says, His father is not a good role model anyway.

Nor do I ever see him having a conversation about intimate boundaries. Unfortunately, due to some life circumstances, my family is quite poor at the moment. A psychologist would be far too expensive. And someone else says, since he needs his phone for safety, maybe your mom would consider rendering the camera feature useless. Maybe like getting some glass etching liquid from the craft store. door and putting a drop on the lens. Definitely talk to your mom though. There should be strong consequences for his actions. And in my opinion, like, this seems like an easy fix. You have to,

number one, scold him for being a creep and a pervert. And number two, take away his phone and give him a fucking flip phone. I mean, like, it's aggravating how, like, the mom and the sister are acting like they're helpless. Take away this kid's, he's 12 years old. What's he going to do about? it take away his iPhone give him a fucking flip phone so we can call you guys and you know get into some severe uh therapy and counseling and scold his ass for being a creep because these are the type of people that grow up and pray on children pray on women and it's just disgusting and they're just i feel like they're being so like they're not being harsh enough on this kid ground them for weeks i mean like make them learn his lesson um it's just disgusting and i don't know why

like the mom and the sister or the O.P. here are acting like they can't do anything. I mean, it's a 12-year-old kid. Take away shit and make him learn his lesson. Like, I don't know. What do you guys think about this take? But I feel like if you don't stop it now, this kid is going to be a pervert forever.

And they just need to take away his phone, give him a flip phone, or just give him no phone. Have them just, I don't know, write letters to his friends. It's like, seriously. Like, that behavior is unexcusable. and he can't keep doing this, but the OP has never come back with an update. So what do you guys think? O.P.'s boyfriend confesses to purposefully killing his younger brother when they were kids.

When my boyfriend, Michael, 20 male, was 10. His younger brother, six male, drowned in a lake by their house. It was ruled an accident by the police and coroner. His parents weren't home at the time. and Michael and his brother were under the watch of a babysitter. I met Michael five years later and we began Daden at 17. He's been very open with me about the whole thing and how it's affected him, his mental health,

and his family dynamic. It's coming up to the 10-year anniversary of his brother's death and like every year, Michael gets a little bit loopy and depressed. I've been doing my best to comfort him. He suffers from mental health. issues all year round. It just gets significantly worse around this time of year. Last night, we were in his parents' hot tub in the backyard, and he asks if I want to know how his brother really died. I say, yeah, tell me. That's what his therapist recommended I do. And instead of telling me the normal

story, he gets really close and puts his hands on my shoulder. He then says, I killed him. I held his head under water like this. He then pushes me under for around 10 seconds before pulling me back up. Then he says, they obviously thought it was an accident because that idiot was a slur for autistic people. Couldn't even walk in a straight line. I'm glad he's dead, but if I realized how much trouble dad would have given me, I would have let him. live. Then he gets out and goes to bed. I stayed up all night last night. I couldn't sleep. I can't tell if what he said is part of his manic depression triggered by the 10-year anniversary or if he's been serious. It felt so real. How do I confront him? Do I even, do I tell his therapist?

I'm not equipped for this. And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says, number one, he held you underwater. Number two, he confessed to murder. Number three, his father apparently already suspects he killed his brother. And number four, you need to get somewhere safe. Notify the therapist, the father, and the authorities. He may be regretting his confession right now.

Your boyfriend confessed to a major crime. He killed his brother. Even if he was lying, he is clearly unsafe to be around. And someone else says, my only advice to you, effing, run. And another user says, this chilled me. I have a younger autistic sibling, and when we were children, they would follow me anywhere and do anything I asked of them. I can imagine how easy it would have been to trick them into the water, to hold them under. The idea makes me feel sick.

You need to believe your boyfriend. His mental illness is likely caused by the secrets he just shared, not the cause of the secret. Right now, you are in immediate danger. You are likely the only person he has ever told. He might regret it and do something to silence you. leave now don't say anything just go to a place with other people go to safety and then we get an update from the opi a while later that reads as follows so a lot of people were asking for an update and i'm a little scared posting it because i know people will be mad at me we're not dating i have moved

but it's more to sort everything out. I told my therapist who I've been seen for years and his therapist about the whole situation. They told me to go with my gut and that I should start writing in a diary about his behavior. I quickly realized he had missed nearly eight two weeks of his meds as well as his mood stabilizers. He hasn't been formally diagnosed with bipolar,

but is being treated for symptoms of it. I reminded him gently, and he got super, upset at himself and is back on track. He doesn't even remember what he said or did. I didn't tell him, but asked if he remembered being in the hot tub and he said no. He has dealt with memory issues in the past, but it was never anything to worry about. He has spent the month in the hospital. He wasn't eating while off his meds and he was very sick plus psychosis, and I've been using this time to sort everything out. I told his parents what happened with help from my therapist, and they got super

confused. Turns out there was security footage that pointed directly at the lake where six drowned. It was a total accident. I won't go into detail, but Michael was nowhere near the scene. According to Michael's mother, that footage is the only thing that helped them find six, as he had begun to drift away by the time they got back. I had no idea of this detail. No one ever told me, and it would have been really inappropriate to ask. I mentioned what Michael said about his father, and he broke down. He said that he was particularly hard on Michael after the death of six, but eased up as he got older.

He's increased his therapy sessions to three times a week and is planning to move in with his parents when he gets discharged from the hospital. I also want to clarify that the incident in the last post is the first time he's ever put his hands on me in a violent slash threatening manner. That's what made me so shocked. I know people will be mad at me, but we, his parents and I, think this is the best thing for everyone right now. I got so many messages asking for an update, and I thank you all who sent me kind messages and advice. I know some people will be mad, but all I can ask is that you be respectful.

And now let's get into some of the top comments. One user says, Strange that he told you he killed his brother, but the security footage proves otherwise. I wonder if maybe he feels guilt about the situation and mixed that with psychosis, and he convinced himself that he intentionally drowned him. Although it's also quite strange,

he made the comments about his brother being autistic, and that's why he did it. Either way, it seems like a danger to remain in the relationship. I hope everything works out. And another user says, why do you think people will be mad at you? I think you've done really well in the situation. And the OPE responds and says, many, many, many, many people were calling me effing dumb or stupid for still being in contact with him and told me the only way forward was to cut all contact. I think I did well, but there will still be someone unhappy people. And finally, another.

user says, yeah, it sounds like he needs support. I don't see people being mad. He is obviously suffering. Can I offer one more thing? If this starts to be too much or overwhelming, do not feel bad if you decide you cannot handle this, okay? You are allowed to say you cannot handle if you have that feeling. Do not ignore that if it comes up, not saying it will. And that is the last time we have ever heard from the OP. O.P. found pictures of an unknown girl in her husband's closet. This is long. Last night, I, 36 female, was putting away laundry and where my husband, 52 male,

keeps his pants. He also has a shoe box filled with memories, baseball cards, concert tickets, pictures, etc. While putting away his clothes, I accidentally knocked over the box. spilling everything inside. Upon putting everything back in the box, I saw two photos I have never seen before, one of a little girl, probably two to three years old,

and one of a woman I have never seen before holding the little girl. A little backstory. My husband is 16 years older than I am. He is originally from South Africa and moved to the States about 15,000, years ago. I met him a month or so after he moved to Utah when we were both working in a restaurant in Salt Lake City. We started dating pretty quickly and got married two years later in 2008.

We have four kids together. He is a great guy and a great husband and an amazing dad. We have built a great happy life together. The only thing that seems to be missing is that he's very vague and private about his life in South Africa. He has always told me he has no family. Parents and brother all died many years ago. He never kept in contact with any friends from South Africa either. I always found it sad and maybe a little suspicious, but nothing too crazy or worrisome. Well, enter the picture. The little girl in the picture looks exactly like my husband, only lighter. She looks very similar to my daughter. The woman in the picture is white and honestly looks very similar to me.

Both short, blonde hair, freckles, it instantly gave me a sick feeling looking at it. Obviously, my first thought is this girl is his daughter. And the woman is an ex, wife, or a girlfriend. If so, where are they now? Unless he's incredibly good at hiding things, I've never seen anything in his phone or email that would be suspicious. We are both very open with passwords and texts and everything. I know I need to ask him about the picture, but I'm just scared. We have such a good life and relationship. I'm worried I'll learn something that will change everything. Should I approach

him about the picture or just let it go? And now let's get into some of the top comments. One user says, he's had so many more years alive as an attention. adult than you have. Seems easy to believe that it's his kid. Heck, she could be an adult by now. Technically, she could even be your age. You've got to talk with him about it. And the O.P. He responds and says, I agree. The photo does look older, but it's hard to tell what year. And another commenter says, at least it's not illegal content involving a minor. There's plenty of worse things to find. I'm sure if you ask any respectful curious manner he will tell you about them nothing from that possible past relationship will take away from the love he has for you your kids and the life you have together and the op he responds and

says that's true but i did ask him before we started dating if he's been married or had any children and he said no i think that's where my fear is coming from why lie and someone else says is your husband Black, he may have had a child he wasn't allowed to see because of unfair court systems and racial segregation in SA. A prominent white family could have easily kept a child away from a black man 30-some years ago. I would certainly understand why he wouldn't want to admit to having another child if that was the case. I mean, an otherwise attentive and present father, not being allowed to parent a child would be a huge wound and make sense. someone feel like a failure, I'm sure. Just speculation, but it would make more sense than not telling you

that he had a child that died or something. Or perhaps since you mentioned he had brothers, maybe one of their children? And the OP response and says, he is black. I meant to put that in the post. His brother died when he was very young. I don't think he lived past one or two years old. And another commenter says, after reading horror stories and hearing stuff from my ex and his family, who are both white South Africans, and they fled South Africa because of it, don't push too hard. This could be a very dramatic story,

or very sad, or both. Like just a small sample, near where my ex's family used to live. They were bore or so farmers. A family was attacked. The man tied up to force him to watch the R word and beating of his wife and sticking his child in the oven while it's on. With them both dead, they then killed him.

And then the OPE he responds and says, oh, that is so awful. How devastating. And another commenter says, just be careful with the approach. South Africa is not a stable region in most parts. I would not at all be surprised if it was a wife and a kid. and they have passed away, and I wouldn't be surprised if it was violent either. You could be opening a very big can of worms here that you can't put back in the can afterward. This may not be something he is capable of speaking about and why he came to the States in the first place.

And then the OP makes an edit or the first update in the post, and it reads as follows, I went and got the pictures and asked my husband who the people in the photos are. He just stared at me for a long time. The silence made me nervous, so I explained that I accidentally knocked over his box and they fell out. He didn't say anything for a long time, so I asked him again, and he said he'd rather not talk about it. He seemed really tense. I tried to assure him that if he was married before and has a daughter that it's okay and we can work through it. As soon as I said that, he snatched the photos out of my hands and told me, the less I know is better, and that he isn't going to talk about it.

He said, this was a long time ago. I've never seen him like that. Now I'm even more confused. I honestly don't know what to do. I tried to ask him if he was in any kind of trouble, and our daughter walked in and needed a ride to gymnastics, so now he's out of the house. I feel like my whole world is flipping upside down, but I don't have any details as to why. Not sure what to do next. And then the OP makes a second update, a few moments later, and it reads as follows,

I almost can't believe I'm updating this again, talking to a bunch of strangers on the internet. But considering that I'm not ready to talk to family or friends about this yet, it's definitely helping me process, so thank you for listening. My husband dropped my daughter back at home after gymnastics but didn't come inside. My daughter said that he said he was going to the store. I texted him and asked him when he's coming back. He responded that he didn't know. He said he loved me very much in our family.

He said he knew the past would catch up to him eventually and that he wants to tell me his story but he's scared. I told him that I was ready to listen when he's ready to share and that there's no rush at all. I told him I was worried about him and wanted him to come home. I haven't heard from him since. I'm going crazy. My mind is racing. I'm trying to keep it together so my kids don't start asking questions. My anxiety is through the roof.

And then the O.P. comes back a few days later with an update titled, My husband is gone. I woke up this morning to a note that, said he had to leave, that he is no longer safe for me and my kids with him around. I tried calling his cell phone, but it goes straight to voicemail. He said he loved me, and the kids, and that his life has been so joyful of the last 15 years. And that's it. He's gone. I have no idea if he's coming back. He left most of his things here. Is this my fault? What do I tell my kids? I haven't told anyone yet. I said he had to go out of town and they believe me. I don't know what to do.

And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says, I need another update. And the O.P. says, unfortunately, not much to report. I haven't seen or heard from him since my last post. And just for reference, this comment was made about a week later. I did end up telling my kids and my family. The kids are absolutely devastated. I feel like I'm in a nightmare. I can't wake up from. People started commenting that I was making this all up so I figured I shouldn't talk about it anymore. And someone else comments and says, so sorry to hear that. I can't believe he just left. Did you notify the police? And the OP responded and said, yes, I showed them the note and told them what had happened with the pictures and everything. They said, since he's not missing,

There wasn't much they could do. He hasn't accessed our bank accounts or anything. It's literally like he disappeared. And another commenter says, wow, makes you wonder if he is in witness protection. It's really hard to just disappear nowadays. Have you hired a private detective? And the OP responded and said,

that's what the police thought. Just considering his background. I haven't hired a PI. I just kind of feel like he's, he doesn't want to be found, and maybe it's safer for my children that he's not. I honestly have no idea what to do. I'm kind of just frozen in disbelief at this point. And someone else says, You poor thing. I cannot imagine. And the O.P responds and says, I'm just trying to look at it like he's trying to protect us. I just know he's devastated to be away from his family right now.

Otherwise, the anger takes over, and I hate him. And someone else, says witness protection doesn't just move people. They move entire extended families. If husband was in a situation like that, the marshals would have turned up for O.P. and kids. You can't just leave without money or help. He clearly has money hidden from O.P. In addition to his whole other life. And this is the last update we have ever received from the O.P. And to be honest, I'm at a loss for any sort of theory on why the O.P.'s husband just left like that. But what do you guys think? I'm curious to hear your guys' theories and who do you think this guy was? Who was that family or kid he was pictured with? And why did he just leave so abruptly? And where did he go? I'm really

curious to hear what you guys think. Am I the asshole for secretly moving out of my boyfriend's house while he's at work? Hello all. In a few hours, I'm about to secretly move out. I will be giving live updates and I will do my best to provide as much context. So here we go. I 31 female have been living with my boyfriend 42 male for a little over six years now. From the very start, everything moved so fast and I jumped into a new life before thinking. There is so much to say about the six year history we have. mixed with good but a lot of bad he is divorced with two kids the kids were ten and eight when we started dating now they are 16 going on 17 and 14 going on 15 i have no kids and never married but i do have the best

little pooch who is now 13 years old we have been good the last six to eight weeks so this may come as a surprise. No, there were no recent big fights. We have been going about life in this routine. I wake up, go to work, come straight home, walk our dogs. Oh, we just adopted a new pub seven months ago. Cook dinner, clean up, shower, and then bedtime. I do this every day. My boyfriend doesn't have a conventional job so he can go weeks or months without working. I have a stable nine to six job Monday through Friday so he's usually home while I am at work. Today is the first time he is going to work since the year started. After six years with him, it has never been easy to talk about hard topics or my feelings. I always felt dismissed.

To keep the peace, I always felt I had to play the part he expected and wanted. I can't admit I'm a bit of a people's pleasure, and I do love very hard. I always give him the benefit of the doubt and hoped for things to get better. At this point, I have isolated myself from my friends and family, and I don't even recognize myself anymore. I want to be a wife and a mother more than anything, but I'm afraid the way we are going is not leading there. I feel like my boyfriend is okay with just being my boyfriend and girlfriend. I have given everything I can, helping with the kids,

doing all the cooking and cleaning, and prioritizing him by giving him all of my free time. He gets sensitive when I try to make plans that don't involve him, and usually it leads to big fights until he guilted me to the point that I just gave up on my social life. As I get closer to my 40s, I'm freaking out.

Time is of the essence, and I don't want to wake up in my 40s with regret. There is so much to say about the dynamic, but long story short, I feel like the only way things will change is if there is a big change. We are both equally comfortable in this routine. I know I am not living in life the way I truly want.

I have tried to bring up ways to change the dynamic, but it usually leads to him telling me things that sound nice, but it never happens. He's all talk and he's. no action. When I try to act on the things we talk about, it leads to huge blow-up fights. I do love him so much, but I just can't live like this. My sister is moving, so there is an opportunity to take over her lease. My plan is to leave before he gets home from work, and to write a letter explaining myself, I don't want to break up, but I need him to start taking me and

this relationship more seriously. I want us to be intentional and actually do the things we talk about. I wish I could talk to him instead of doing things this way, but I'm afraid of a big fight happening. So am I the asshole for secretly moving out while he's at work? And now let's get into some of the top comments. One user says, are you moving out in attempt to get him to change to the person that you want him to be because that's not going to work. If he is going to change, was capable of change or wanted to change, he's had six long years to do it and you leaving isn't going to lead to any lasting change. He may be able to sustain a change for the short term to lure you back in, but it won't last and as soon as you come back, he will backslide into the same old behaviors.

You need to accept that you and he are just not compatible. If you, you, you, you are just not compatible. If you want to leave, then that's great, but you need to do it for you. So that you can move on and have the kind of life and find the kind of person that you want. Not in some misguided attempt to manipulate him into acting like the person you want him to be. And one commenter replies and says, I agree with this statement. You aren't the asshole, but should probably just break up with him to his face because you don't want the same things. That is okay.

You shouldn't be made to feel like you have to hide leaving and shouldn't feel like leaving is going to give him magical feelings. Just do it for you so you can move towards what you want. And a commenter replies and says, I just had to come back to this post and find out who were the idiots that told this poor woman to break up face to face. As someone that left a relationship quietly while the dude was at work, this was bad advice. Mind you, my guy never put hands on me, but he started. to displaying aggressive behaviors and I could see where stuff was headed. So I decided to take no chances.

And another commenter says, why would this man change when he purposefully chose a woman 11 years his junior to be a free nanny, bang made, and pay his bills? He's living in the perfect dynamic where you give and he takes all. Of course he's going to shut you down. The woman should never have a voice to question him. Don't waste any more of your good year. on this loser. The fact that you have isolated yourself from your friends and family is so sad.

Ask yourself, what do you have to show for these six years you've given him? Leave, but don't try to stay with him. And someone else says, why would you want to remain in a relationship where he isolates you from friends and family, i.e. a support group, keeps you walking on eggshells because he gets sensitive and starts blow up fights, you do all the cleaning, cooking, pet care, as well as looking after his kids when he has them and you work a full-time job. What good does he bring to the relationship? He's great when you're completely obedient and submissive. Is that who you are? If not, leave the letter and disappear from his life. And then we get an update 15 days later and it reads as follows. Okay, so I know it's been some time and I had previously promised for live updates,

but number one, I'm still learning how to use Reddit and I couldn't figure out how to update. And number two, a lot of stuff went down since the last post. And oh boy, do I have the update for you all. I'm overwhelmed with how much responses the original post got. I was mixed with emotions after reading it all. I ultimately needed time to process before riding in on Reddit. So I took most of the advice and I decided to wait for him to get home

to talk instead of leaving a letter and leaving while he was at work. Before I get into the update, I want to address a lot of people's concerns on there being a possible DV situation and toxic relationship. You were all right. Update.

I decided to pack up my car with all of my most important. items. I cleaned the house, cooked, showered, wrote out all my thoughts on what I wanted to say because I tend to lose track of my thoughts when I'm in high tense conflicts. I wanted to make sure he understood why I felt the need to move out after six years. He got home around 8.30 to 9 p.m. and I asked if he could join me on the couch to talk. He immediately started to get anxious, asking to hurry up and get to the point. I started to read the letter. and I couldn't help but cry as I read.

When I got to the point, I have decided it is best for me to move out, but if you want to work on our relationship, I'm open to it. He snapped. He snatched the letter out of my hand and ripped it up. He spat in my face and called me trash. At this point, I was trying to get my dogs and leave the house. He grabbed me by my hair and started his. hitting me. I tried my best to defend myself. I was screaming for help, hoping the neighbors would

hear me, but no one came to my rescue. I eventually lost the strength to fight back and just laid there on the floor hoping he would get tired and stop kicking and punching me. My dogs were hysterical. My youngest dog tried to bite him and protect me, but all it did was get him more upset. I used my body to shield my dog from getting hit. By the time he stopped and I looked at the time it was midnight. He had locked himself in the room and I could hear him crying and screaming for me to please forgive him. I didn't have the strength for anything. I sat in my blood and tears, numb, and dead inside. I still can't believe what happened, and I am so disappointed in myself for letting the relationship last as long as it did. There were times he showed aggression,

but he always found a way to convince me. It'll never happen again. When I thought he finally went to sleep around 3 a.m. I took my dogs and left. I went to my sister's apartment about 40 minutes away. Luckily, she was staying at her boyfriend's house, so I was alone. I still have not found the strength to tell anyone what happened. I called out of work and stood inside the apartment while my wounds healed. It's been about two weeks, and I am now seeking professional help and am planning on taking myself to the doctors to get checked out. I know I need to tell someone what happened, but, I am feeling so embarrassed. Thank you all for the kind words and for the ones who advise to talk to him.

F you. I hope anyone dealing with similar relationships can learn from me. Follow your gut and leave. Don't let outside opinions doubt your gut. Edit. I have videos and pictures of the injuries. I know I have to go to the police, but honestly, I'm in this psychological warfare. He has two kids and I feel like I'm responsible if they're

their dad goes to jail. This is something I know I need to overcome, and that's why I'm taking the necessary steps to mentally prepare myself by seeking professional help. If anyone has any recommendations on how to go about this, I would really appreciate it. This all feels like a nightmare that I just want to be over. I haven't told any loved ones yet because it'll just make everything more real. And now it's get into some of the top comments. One user says, Sweet God, Who the hell tells a woman

living in a DV situation to speak to their abuser in person before leaving? Leave quietly and quickly while he's away. Never ever speak to him in person. Leave a note or send a text later when you're far, far away. I hope O.P. goes to the police

and keeps a record selfies of her injuries. And a commenter says, I agree, but to be fair, that isn't at all how, she portrayed their relationship, no mention at all of aggressive behavior. And the OPE, he responded and said, yeah, you're right. I did leave out a lot, but mainly due to me being in denial. I realized how much I was in denial looking back. I wanted to see the good in my relationship. I was and am still very embarrassed from it all. How did I let myself go so far and become so blind to it all?

And another commenter says, As someone who left an abusive relationship, please file charges. Get this documented. I know you think it's embarrassing, but abusers will gaslight you and make you think it's your fault. It's not.

I hope he hasn't tried to get a hold of you for your own safety. You and the pups deserve better. And the O.P. responded and said, Thank you for the kind words. There are a lot of factors that are making me stall on the report. Number one, since it happened two weeks ago, does that make my report less credible?

And number two, he has two kids. And one commenter says, you have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about, and I'm so sorry you had to go through such a violent assault. He assaulted you, and you are lucky you survived. One wrong hit or kick is all it takes. But you should have gone to the police. reported him and filed a restraining order. I understand why you didn't, and it is easy for others to tell what you should do. So, O.P., do what you feel is right for you. Do what you need to do to heal. To figure out your life going forward.

To mend your soul and take back your self-esteem, dignity and self-respect, all of what he took from you, all of what he tried to break down in you. He is the absolute lowest of the lowest. I am so relieved you are out. Don't ever go back. He will end up killing you. I'm sending a big hug and hope you will know you are not alone and I have faith in you getting through to the other side.

You already proved you are strong enough. And then the OPE comes back the next day with an update and let's get into it. This reads, everyone, please keep reading something insane happened last night. I just wanted to start by saying, I'm so grateful for all of the support during this. After reading everyone's comments, and yes, I may not respond to every comment, but I do take time to read everything coming in. Because Reddit and you all are here, the only people I've told about this, and it's helping me put everything that has happened into perspective. I have been doing more and more research on DV. Before this relationship,

I have luckily never experienced a toxic relationship. All of my past relationships have always ended amicably with love and respect. I never had to deal with any boyfriends screaming at me, intense jealousy, etc. So it was hard for me to even notice what I was in. My ex was very good at talking. We always used to joke that he should have become a lawyer because of how convincing he knows he can be. I am in a place where I'm facing everything head on now, instead of hiding in my sister's apartment, hiding from the world. I can't admit I am a survivor. What happened was not my fault, and I want to apologize for how I came across blaming the Redditors for bad advice. The emotions I'm feeling now is rage.

I was trying to find someone to blame for what happened to me, and the only person to blame is the effing psychopath loser X of mine. I decided I'm going to the police today. I was feeling bad for him, which I found out is called Stockholm Syndrome. His kids are 14 and 16, and I was worried that I'd be the reason they wouldn't have a father around. Taking everyone's concerns for the kids into consideration, I knew it was my responsibility to protect them from this happening to them. I called the kid's mother last night to tell her everything that happened.

Just to give as much context before going into the update, the mother and I's relationship started out bad. She did not like me or respect me. She did not agree with the big age gap and always made it a point to say I was the young Bimbo trying to take the father's money, even though I have always worked and paid for everything I have. I have never asked for him to ever financially take care of me.

Over the six years we have become more friendly, she eventually stopped badmouthing me to our kids and everyone else in the family. But I always felt the need to prove myself to all of his friends and family. So I called the mother to let her know what happened and that I was planning on going to the police. I even sent her pictures and videos of my black eyes, cuts and bruises and bald spots from hair being pulled out. What happened next literally changed everything for me.

I went from being sad and depressed to now feeling nothing but anger. I am shaking while I write this because I'm still in shock. She responded with, well, I knew this would happen eventually because it happened to her. She went on to tell me the reason they got divorced was because he was beating her in front of her kids. and after 10 years of marriage, she finally got a lawyer and divorced him. She had multiple restraining orders that he did not follow. He got arrested two to three times but never convicted of anything because she dropped charges, not wanting her kids to be without a father.

I am furious. She was undocumented and her marriage was going to help her become a citizen. She ultimately got her citizenship from the process of VA-D-D-E-D-E-A. through marriage to an abusive legal permit. I am in so much anger because no one told me or warned me. I feel this could have been avoided if someone would have tried to warn me. So now no more nice guy. This guy's going to jail.

I will be making sure he never does this to anyone ever again. I will keep you guys updated on the charges, etc. Thank you all for the support once again. and the top commenter says you never think you're going to be a DV survivor until it happens. Good for you for getting away. Stay safe, anger is normal. This is a healthy anger.

Yes, my biggest regret is not pressing charges because now somewhat else, there will be another me. If the girl before me, who also had him arrested, had continued her case against him, my own DV case might have been avoided. And then the O.P comes back with a final update four hours later, and let's get into it. This reads, I tried to write a second update, but it was removed. I am in disbelief on how much negative feedback my posts have been getting.

What is going on, people? I hate to bring focus on the negativity, but I feel the need to address the absurd comments. There are people accusing my story to be. fake. Let me make this clear. I chose to lean on Reddit because I was isolated from friends and family and was searching for support while I find the strength to tell my loved ones. When I made the original post, I had no idea it would lead to DV. I hope by me sharing it could help someone who is in a similar situation. I would like to think this is a community of kindness and open-minded to each one's struggles. I know I struggle with putting into words how I feel in what's going on,

especially in difficult conflicts. I might not choose the right words or expressing myself correctly, but I am human, having a human experience. I'm doing my best. What's funny is now I find myself explaining myself to people who are committed to misunderstanding me. Thank you to everyone who is kind and supportive. It is because of you guys, I found the strength to go to the police.

I was going through so many emotions after finding out last night. my ex's wife had been going through the same thing. She never once warned me. I'm not trying to blame anyone for the situation. The only person to blame is the loser ex of mine. His ex-wife was undocumented and she stood married for 10 years while getting abused to stay in the country with her kids. She ended up going through VAWA through marriage to an abusive legal permit.

I wish she would have tried to warn me somehow, but I don't blame her. I'm just feeling so many emotions after the situation. Now I'm dealing with anger. So to conclude, it's probably best for my mental health to stay off Reddit and focus on reality. I have gone to the police. I will be seeing a therapist slash psychiatrist tomorrow and putting in all the work to heal myself inside and out. I hope my story can shed light on the complexity of DV. And once again, thank you to all.

who was kind enough and supported me. And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says, O.P., I'm sorry they went through this horrific experience, and I'm so glad that you were safe now. However, in your last post, you got really angry at people who encouraged you to actually talk to your partner of several years

instead of ghosting them in the middle of the day. If you didn't know, he could potentially become violent. How are we supposed to know? Your original post just made it sound like you were bored with the monotony and lack of ambition. No one had any idea it would go like this. You ended your post with F.U. And that was upsetting to read.

You're blaming the wrong people for what he did to you. Be angry at your ex. It's not random internet stranger's fault. Again, if he had no idea he was capable of this, how would we? And the O.P. response and says, Yeah, I can see that now. My emotions have been all over the place and trying to regulate my emotions through this has been tough. I can see how my words seems like I was placing blame and I can see how my original post didn't allure to the possibility of DV.

I was and still am in a very fragile state. I was living in denial and a lot of people did give more positivity than negativity, but because I was so fragile, I was focusing on the bad. and a lot of certain comments sway my decisions with talking to him. I knew something felt off, not due to the monotony of life, but because I knew in past relationships, it was never difficult for me to have a healthy social life while balancing a romantic relationship. After six years, I was in so deep and I didn't convey everything that was going on.

He had made me believe I was the one to blame. I was crazy. So at the time of my original post, I was struggling with trusting myself. But I hope after all the updates, people can see I'm not blaming Reddit or anyone besides my ex. And another user says, Of course you wish she would have warned you. But tell me this. Would you have believed her?

At that point in time, you'd likely only seen the good side of your ex. And if he told you a sob story about how crazy she was trying to get his kids taken away with her crazy stories, who would you believe? the man you were dating and had likely built up some trust with or a complete stranger with a motive to make things harder for your ex. Don't be too hard on her, especially because now you are her. Are you going to keep up with all this new relationships

and reach out to them to tell them what happened to you? For how long, for the rest of your lives, for a few years? You said it already, but the only one to blame is your ex. and the op he responds and says, I'm trying my best not to be emotional in my responses, and it's way too much writing to do if I sat here trying to explain everything that happened in my last six years, but his ex was horrible to me when we first started dating, and I struggled with understanding why.

I used to hear them arguing for hours on a daily basis when things were starting to get serious and I moved in. I tried to reach out to her woman to woman so we could have a, a formal meeting since I would be living in a house her kids would be at part-time. She declined all of my outreach in the first year. I used to take the kids shopping to get her Mother's Day gift, Christmas gifts, and even a birthday gift. I was trying so hard to get accepted by his family, including ex-wife. I wanted there to be a peaceful, loving relationship with all of us. I hate conflict and try to avoid at all costs. She would badmouth me. Call me a young Bimbo who's trying to take all of the father's money. When I never asked him for financial support,

I always worked and had my own things going for myself. So to find out what she went through, I was shocked. There were even times she tried to get back with him, and he would show me the messages. After a few years, she saw I was sticking around and slowly stopped all the hate and began to be more friendly. She had so many opportunities to share what happened and why they got divorced, but she didn't. no signs. The only signs were just weird inconsistent stories. Looking back, I can see I was naive, and I should have never involved myself in this weird family dynamic. And we have never received another update from the OP, but I really hope the OP went to the police and got this piece of trash ex-boyfriend arrested. He deserves to be in jail for the rest of his life, and I hope the O.P.

is doing better now. My 30 female husband who is 35 male has been acting increasingly cruel since his dad died and last night something happened that I can't get past. My 30 female husband who is 35 male has been acting really erratic this entire year. For context, we've been married three years. His father passed away at the beginning of the year. We stayed with his mom for about a month and a half to help her with everything that needed to be done and to support her emotionally. After we finally came home, my husband started acting different. At first, it was mostly these aggressive, cruel jokes. For example, I love watching the birds in our backyard, and sometimes I whistle at them to get them to come closer.

One day he told me, stop whistling at them. They're going to want to F you. Another time I was organizing our pantry and he saw some cucumbers I had bought and said, Why do you buy cucumbers to use them as an intimate toy to pleasure yourself? If we're out somewhere and another woman complements my hair or my outfit, he'll spend the rest of the day calling her my. girlfriend and making comments about how apparently so many women want to F me. There have been so many comments like this.

I have suggested therapy because it feels like he's taking all of his anger out on me. He says he doesn't need therapy because he knows he needs to change and can do it himself. What makes it harder to understand is how different he is with his mom. He is constantly there for her. He listens to her. He comforts her, lets her talk about everything she's feeling. Then he'll hang up the phone and become cold and mean with me almost immediately. I don't understand why he's so angry at me.

Last night, things got much, much worse. He initiated intimacy. I didn't really want to say no because I know how upset he gets when I reject him. He will also tell me that he feels unwanted, and then I end up feeling guilty. So we continued. But this time felt completely different from every other time we've had intimacy.

He has always been affectionate and careful with me. Last night there was none of that. When I looked at him, all I could see is his face was anger, almost hatred. His movements were so rough that he was hurting me. I was out of him. actually scared to tell him that he was hurting me. Eventually, I pushed him off me and said I'm

hurt. I specifically said it that way because I was afraid to sound like I was blaming him. Then I started crying. And while I was lying there crying, he grabbed my hand and put it on his thing because he wanted me to help him finish. I can't really explain the disgust and anger I felt in that moment. I was literally crying in front of him and now. was what he was thinking about. I immediately pulled my hand away. He laughed and said, You escaped. I just kept crying as he went to take a shower and then went to sleep. He didn't comfort me. He didn't ask if I was okay. Nothing. I've never felt so disgusted or objectified by anyone before, let alone my husband. His comments and jokes had already been making me

extremely uncomfortable. But after last night, I feel like something in me just broke. I don't know if there's any coming back from this. Right now, the thought of him touching me again makes my skin crawl. Has anyone experienced something like this with a partner, especially after they experienced a major loss? Can grief actually explain this kind of personality change? Before he did make some jokes and comments,

but never to this extreme level. I don't really know what I'm looking for. Perspective, advice, maybe just someone telling me what they would do in my position, anything would help. Edit, thank you guys so much for all the messages and comments with resources and advice, really, from the bottom of my heart. I just want all of you to know I'm safe and away from him. I will update on everything later, but I did want everyone that has been so kind and worried, to know I am not with him anymore. And now let's get into some of the top comments.

One user says, Context question, had he ever acted like this, even if it was just glimpses? And the O.P. responds and says, he had never been physically aggressive. This is the first time. He has made cruel jokes about me since we got married. It started with calling me clumsy,

not letting me use scissors because of it, saying he doesn't know how I have survived without him because I lack survival instincts, etc. Whenever I've tried to call him out, he says he's joking and I'm too sensitive to take jokes. I don't know how he end up in conversations that last hours and the conclusion is that I'm the one at fault for whatever I feel. And someone else says,

I'm so sorry, O.P., I can't imagine how scared you feel. Grieve can definitely make people react back, but this doesn't seem like that. He's getting pleasure from you being scared. He's intimately harassing you. I have no idea why he is behaving this way if this truly only happened after his father died because being angry and snapping at you would be one thing, but this is S-A and humiliation. There's no explaining that out of way. I hope you have friends or family near because you need to get away from him. is escalating his behavior, and it sounds like you could be in real danger.

Don't think about him or his feelings or anything right now. Just think about yourself and getting yourself safe. You don't deserve this. And the OPE, he responds and says, It's hard not to think about his feelings and how depressed he seems to be, but I'm very scared since this keeps escalating, and I will not let him touch me again. I've never felt so humiliated and objectified in my life.

We live alone in a state away from both of our families. I have been in touch with some friends by text, and I will try to come up with a plan to distance myself from him. Yet, like I said, it's hard not to feel bad for leaving him when he needs help. And then the OP adds a comment on her mother-in-law's behaviors when her husband was growing up in their intimate life. And the OP says, I can't even begin to tell you how many things I've thought that kept me there trying to help him.

based on what I've heard, his mother refused for him to go to school until he was eight because she wanted to keep him close to her. I know for a fact that whenever I'm not around, she walks around the house with no clothes on. And whenever he is showering there, she finds any excuse to enter because, quote, they're not purves that make their bodies an intimate thing. Ever since he was born, she removed all locks from all doors in the house, bathroom included.

Anytime I visit, I would have to barricade myself with the basket of dirty clothes. I've seen many weird things, but it was too blind to put all together until recently. She asks about our intimate life, and my husband tells her about it. I did tell him I was disgusted and felt very uncomfortable, and he called me prude. that it's normal. I think that's a huge part of me not wanting any intimacy with him because I do keep wondering,

will he tell his mom about us doing this or that? I've also noticed her acting very weird towards one of her nephews. He's 11 now, and whenever she visits him or he visits her, he sleeps on her bed, despite my father-in-law telling her he was uncomfortable with that.

Every night she calls the nephew so they can chat through dinner. Again, despite my father-in-law asking for some nights without FaceTiming, the kid to be able to speak together. She would just laugh and ignore him. Plus, before his dad's death, I thought we were close. But lately, she loves to tell my husband all the things she doesn't like about me. My appearance. I've gained a lot of weight since we married.

My hobbies, my cooking. He doesn't eat anything more than chips, sandwiches, and pizza. Anything I cook, he just cuts and doesn't eat. and my inability to take care of her son, so she's not an option. I've been speaking with some nice friends today to see what I can do. In the meantime, I'll try to keep things easygoing and calm. I'm scared to provoke another angry reaction. And then someone asked about the relationship between O.P.'s husband and his father,

before father-in-law's passing, and the O.P. says, I can only speak of what I saw. can't be certain of the experiences of his kids and wife, since you could ask anyone outside our marriage, and they'd tell you my husband is the sweetest, kindest, and most gentle man. In my experience, he was very loving to his wife, although it wasn't the same the other way around. He could be reactive as in,

shout or get upset into discussion and leave a room, but he was never cruel. He was very generous, had a hard life, but worked hard to be a good father and a husband. He treated me as a second daughter and would keep everyone in the house in check, would tell my husband if he ever did anything to me, he would take care of him, and would prompt him to act like a husband and not a little kid due to his relationship with his mom. Father-in-law and mother-in-law would bicker a lot and have very different points of views in many ethical dilemmas.

I miss him deeply. My parents adored him too. And then someone asks, does O.P. have kids with her husband? And the O.P. says, we don't. I was trying the first two years, but especially after this year, seeing some of his family dynamics after father-in-law's death and him escalating, I've been very careful to avoid getting pregnant. I chose him, but I would never forgive myself if my kids were treated like that. And then someone asks if there's any chances that mother-in-law is accusing O.P. of cheating and other. things and if her husband is agreeing with his mother and the op he says a while ago i went on holiday with my parents and he was included on that plan but he preferred to stay with his mother after that he did tell me several things she's criticized me about my hobbies my appearance my inability to take care of him plus now looking back there were some behaviors i decided to ignore once she told me that she knew I loved my then boyfriend, and I would never love him more than her,

that nothing was greater than a mother's love. Or when we had our engagement party, and he referred to me as his soulmate, she interrupted, but you had a mom first. I can give more examples, but I thought she was just a bit inappropriate, but with good intentions.

And then someone asked if the O.P. is in a safe place now while making plans to go stay with her family, and the OP says he left earlier today. He said his mom really needs him and he needs to be there because our home isn't healthy for him anymore. And then the OP comes back the next day with an update and it reads as follows.

Let's get into it. Hello everyone. First, I would like to thank each and every one of you for your support and advice. I felt so much love and care that I can't explain how truly moved and grateful I am. Sorry if this is too long, but I also want to address some questions or comments this soon since I know many have been worried. Please don't be.

I think my body has been feeling I was being R-worded for quite a while, but I did not want to use that word. I just couldn't get myself to believe the man that was supposed to love me and care for me would do something like that. But he did, and he has been doing it for quite a while. For the entirety of our marriage, I have not been able to shower on my own. Not even once. Not even in winter when I'd shiver waiting for my turn to get on the water. He said it was his love language. That showering together made him feel connected.

In reality, he expected intimate activities from me every single time we got in the shower. Sometimes I'd avoid showering altogether because I did not want it to. deal with that. Others, I'd try to shower as quickly as I could and jump out before he started trying to seduce me. He would laugh, like I mentioned, he did, and he'd also say, oh, you're escaping, as I grabbed my towel and ran out. Regarding the overtly intimate jokes, it reminded me of an incident we had with one of his friends, also 35 male. I was used to this friend making an intimate joke or two to my husband every time we'd hang out would be weird but i thought well maybe that's their humor but one night this friend sat beside my husband and wouldn't stop

touching him and making very extreme and intense jokes directed at my husband the tone of all were basically his friend wanting to f him it got so uncomfortable another friend stepped in and asked the guy to stop the weird comments. To respect me and respect that we were married. I did speak to my husband after that telling him how humiliated I felt, especially because another man defended me as he did nothing. My husband said his friend didn't know boundaries in general. I asked why he was only focused on him then.

He insisted. The next morning his mom called and asked me to please ignore the friend that he was dumb and didn't know how to make jokes. I spoke to my husband again, asking him to not get his mom involved and also asking if he ever was involved romantically or intimately with his friend. I did not want to judge. I just wanted to understand what was going on. He denied it. After me not budging on ignoring the jokes, my husband spoke to his friend asking him to stop, but it was so weird. Some of you also wondered if there was something. sort of abuse in his family, I cannot fully confirm anything. But there's some weird behaviors that

made me want to help him and stay longer for him. I felt that he was suffering and I could help him see things and heal. Based on what I've heard, his mother refused for him to go to school until it was eight because she wanted him to keep him close to her. I know for a fact that whenever I'm not around, she walks around the house unclothed, and whenever he has show, she finds an excuse to enter because they're not purrs ever since he was born she removed all locks in the house we've already gone over this i've seen many weird things but was too blind to put all together until recently she asked about our intimate life and my husband tells her about it i did tell him i was disgusted and felt very uncomfortable and he called me a prude that it's normal i think that's a huge

part of me not wanting any intimacy with him and yeah we've gone over this already as well i've also known noticed her acting very weird towards one of her nephews. I've gone over that. When the kid was seven, he had a stage where he'd caress my upper legs, and I'd ask him not to do that and spoke to my husband, then boyfriend, about it. He said he's just a kid and he's neurodivergent, so he doesn't know boundaries. My concern was him doing that outside and someone reacting aggressive towards the kid, or an adult with bad intentions allowing it.

It stopped. But lately, I keep asking myself, where did he learn that was okay? I obviously can't prove anything, but a big part of me being very careful to not have kids with him apart from his abuse was never letting that woman close to any of my kids. He spends hours in the bathroom, literally sometimes three to four hours. I cannot confirm if he's watching adult videos or cheating, but I've always found that weird. especially since I'm asleep when he comes back and then blames me if we don't have intimacy. We have fought over him having inappropriate messages with friends. Once a message popped up while he showed me a video, a girl telling him,

I like you so much, heart emoji. I asked who that was, since I do know his female friends, he said, a friend that lives abroad. I asked him what was going on. And as always, he turned it on. me for being insecure and he felt so bad because his love wasn't helping me let go of my insecurities. A year after, he asked me if she could come stay in our house because she was spending the holidays here and got so upset when I said no. Another of his friends sent him an

overtly intimate invitation, he told me, but he said that he asked her not to do that because now he's married. He used to make those advances on her when she was in a relationship. His excuse was, but I wasn't. He also makes sure to tell me when women are checking him out, which apparently is every time we're out. I'm fine with that. I just laugh sometimes because he thinks women getting super close to him is flirting, yet my brain screams pickpockets. A last thing before I explain what's going on now. Last time I tried to start being intimate was me planning a romantic date. It had to be at home because he hated going out. A summary. Can't be too early because he gets cranky. Can't be in the middle of the day because the sun is too strong. Can't be at night because it's too dark to drive.

So I plan a romantic dinner in our house and as I was taking the wine out, he got so upset and shouted, so you can only F me when you're drunk? As you can imagine, the date was canceled. So, what happened? Yesterday, he acted like nothing happened. He was very sweet, which is weird because lately, after intimacy, he'd be so angry, which was so confusing to me. I obviously wasn't happy, but was trying to act calm and not cause any reactions out of him

while I figured out what to do. At night, he asked me what was going on. I did speak with him. I told him how I felt so humiliated, felt like an object. He acted like a victim again, saying he only reached for my hand to show me I was still desirable, even if I was crying, that he did it to help me gain confidence

despite not being able to finish before. I was even more disgusted and asked why he left me crying to go shower and after. He just shrugged and said he figured I was upset and left me to deal with it. I decided to stop engaging on that pointless argument. I just nodded until he stopped talking to avoid hours of that same loop of blaming me for my feelings. Then today, he woke up and told me he needed to go to his mom's house indefinitely, that he needs to be there for her but also for himself,

that our house isn't healthy for him anymore. that it's the only way for him to get better and heal. I just nodded and agreed. Even if I know that's not true and his mom's house is deeply toxic and unhealthy for him, I needed to think about me, and he left with his car. I felt as if a guardian angel,

the universe, or so many of your wishes and prayers did this. When he left, I couldn't stop crying, out of happiness. That somehow the road seemed to open for me in a way that wasn't as dangerous. I packed some essentials, and I'm waiting to take a flight to be with my parents. I will not tell him anything, and I'm leaving before he regrets anything or tries to check on me. There, I will talk to lawyers about the next steps for divorce.

My friends and family have my back, and I feel very lucky to have so many people supporting me despite years of me being isolated. I do not want to contact this man ever again, if possible, and still cannot believe how he just left like that. I'm a bit shocked that I don't need many days of planning or being scared or trying to get out of anything safely. And now that I mentioned a guardian angel, I started to cry because, well, some of you mentioned if I had a brother or someone taller or stronger than my husband to ask for his help to come get me. My brother died when I was 14, and he was 20 in a very terrible accident. He was quite tall and strong and had a heart of gold. He was like a teddy bear.

He would have moved the entire world to help me, and I think he did today. So thank you for the advice, wishes, prayers, thank you all. Whenever there's any advances on what I hope a smooth divorce, I'll let you know. But again, thank you everyone that was worried for me, that gave me advice and resources. I deeply value all. And I will always. read all of the recommended books. I have been going to a therapist, but I may change for someone specialized in trauma and abuse as I go through the divorce and keep wrapping my head around everything that happened, and that somehow I kept ignoring or thinking it wasn't a big deal. Thank you, Morgan, and all of this amazing community for being so caring and helpful.

You're right. I knew something was very wrong. I was already hesitating and thinking of getting out, but reading so many people confirming what I feared helped me more than you will ever know. I wish you all the very best as I move to this next chapter of my life with all of my loved ones. And we have never received another update from the OP, but I hope they are doing better now. O.P. saves his sisters from their monster of a family. I'm currently in custody of my two. I'm currently in custody of my two little sisters, Amy who is 17, and Lisa, who is eight, not their real names for obvious reasons. I am a 29 male and we live in Australia. I am potato, as that's what Lisa calls me. And this is basically the story of how my family felt they were entitled to both of my sister's

bodies, and I would not stand for that. I would like to warn anyone who has faced abuse in the past as parts of their story may trigger some people, and to anyone who has faced abuse in the past, I do feel deeply sorry for you. The main part of the story takes place about a year ago. I'd moved out six years ago at that time and moved to another state for work and study. I was honestly really slack with keeping contact with my family,

which is probably why this went on so long. When I do think back to the time before I moved out, I didn't treat Amy the best, and if I hadn't moved out and had so little contact with my family, I may have turned out just as entitled and as much of a horrible person. I came back to visit for my grandparents' birthday. After spending so long away, I spent the morning catching up with aunts, uncles, cousins, my parents, of course, and Lisa. Now this was actually the first time I'd really realized the oddities of my family.

Perhaps it was the change in environment. A few of my roommates had little sisters and whatnot after all, but it was the first time I'd noticed how quiet the little girls of my family were. I guess I'd always just thought of Amy as shy and quiet, but my little cousins were so much the same, polite, shy, quiet, and obedient, though at the time I brushed this off. After a few hours, I realized that Amy was,

nowhere to be seen all day. The party was at my parents' house, so this confused me, and I slipped inside to see if she was cooped up in a room like a lot of 16-year-olds would be, talking to friends or doing assignments. What I found is a memory that will haunt me forever. My oldest uncle on my father's side, laying over my sister, who was quite clearly in a lot of pain and struggling not to cry as he pinned her beneath him,

I completely lost it, as any brother would, shouting at him to get off her and out of her room. I scared the hell out of both of them, but in that moment, I was honestly ready to kill my uncle. Amy was pretty messed up in the head when I tried consoling her. She was covered in scars, had a rash that I later found out was an allergic reaction. She was allergic to strawberries. She didn't speak and looked at me, as if she expected for her. me to hurt her too. Her room was dimly lit. The blinds taped closed to her wall. All the things she'd had when I left were gone. Leaving her bedroom feeling cold and empty and to add insult to injury,

she was a month's pregnant. When I demanded an explanation from my parents, they, paraphrasing, said that it was my uncle's right and my father simply pointed out one of my 11-year-old cousins sitting quietly with her parents and told me to have fun. I stormed off back to Amy's room, quietly packed her a bag of necessities and managed to sneak her out of the house and into my car before doing the same with Lisa. Part of me wanted to get all my cousins out too,

but my main focus was of Amy right now, who sat trembling in the back of my car. I drove them both to the closest police station to report what had happened. I'll skip most of the details of the. the legal battle that ensued, but my family did not take kindly to being outed for what they were doing. It was a tradition that spanned generations, and there shouldn't be anything wrong with tradition. Amy and Lisa were put into temporary foster care.

Amy was a wreck. To her, everyone could and would hurt her, and I got reports every few hours that she was having a panic attack. Three of my uncles went to jail for a very long time. I got a fair bit of money out of the range of family members, full custody of both Amy and Lisa, no enforced visitation to their parents, my parents had to pay for any therapy costs, medication and medical bills for both of them. My family was torn in two by this. Many of my aunts leaving their husbands with their children after finally having the courage to follow me.

uncles who had married into the family took their wives, who had also been abused and cut ties. I still keep in contact with these members of my family, and I'm grateful for their support and glad that my cousins are safer now. Even some of the older guys who had been brought up thinking it was okay to treat women that way, took themselves into counseling once they realized just how messed up it was, and have had more than one instance where they admitted to hurting Amy and apologized, which I've accepted as these cousins did their best to take their siblings or other cousins out of harmful environments.

Now, I do believe some part of the ruling protected the younger men of the family, provided they see some form of mental health professionals as they grew up thinking that this was all normal, so they didn't end up in a jail, but did end up on some list of possible S offenders. Not entirely sure there. No one is sure who fathered Amy's child. but she had her pregnancy terminated, as we were both told her physical and mental health would not cope with carrying a baby,

she would ultimately would unlikely care for. She did consent at the time, and it was brought up by her psychologist once she was doing better, and she confirmed that she would have no love for the baby due to the circumstances which she fell pregnant. For six years, Amy had been physically, mentally and emotionally abused in every way conceivable.

This mostly came from my father's four brothers and brother-in-law who married into the family. My parents both stood by and let this happen, offering no support for Amy. During the case, my uncles argued it was their birthright being born into the family and it was simply Amy's right of passage before she was married off to one of my uncles' mates at 18. They used her allergy as a form of torture and manipulation, wanting her to be silent and obedient. They would press strawberries against her skin any time she said a word and forced her to eat them when she stepped too far out of line. A lot of my aunts from my father's side admitted to enduring this treatment too, although most of them were lucky and didn't have allergies to exploit.

I honestly can't even begin to explain everything that was wrong with. Amy because of their behaviors. Lisa, for the most part, was okay. She needed a little therapy as she was being manipulated into compliance and taught that what she would experience was normal. But Amy had completely shut down. It took two months before I could even get her speaking. She trusts me now, and we often sit down.

And I let her talk and open up about whatever she feels comfortable to. Her stories often have me struggling to hold back tears while I comfort her. I did get Amy a service dog a few months ago, tailored towards the emotional support she needs on a regular basis. Liggity split, honestly, is the goodest of good doggos. She knows exactly when she's needed and is a massive help when it comes to calming Amy's anxiety, especially in public. We've had more than one encounter with unrelated and titled parents, thinking,

or their kid deserves her dog more than her. Let me know if you want these stories published too, because I've seen people like to read about service dog related incidents. But anyone who does think that can honestly fight me, no one deserves her dog more than her. On one occasion, one of my aunts, her husband, went to jail, tried taking Ligety Split because their money paid for her. I told her if she ever comes near my property again,

I would call the police as there was a restraint. training order against her towards both my sisters. Later, she came back and tried to poison lickety split with tainted meat, but one of my lovely neighbors caught her and chased her off. Police recalled, she is now in jail too after having to pay a fine and some money to me, because at this point, I'm pretty well acquainted in the legal system and sued her. My family still tried to get my sisters out of my care, reporting me for everything from animal abuse to drug selling. They planted drugs in identical stuffed toy to Amy's comfort toy that I left in the yard,

but Amy would never do that, so I knew something was up immediately. Home security systems work wonders. I've actually become pretty chummy with the local police officers who have to inspect their claims, and they know I'd never do anything to endanger my custody over the girls. They mean the world to me. I will admit, though, I have to do. done things to hurt my bond with them, yelling when stressed and throwing things from time to time, but I'm not perfect, and Amy has told me that, although these moments do scare her,

she doesn't feel endangered being near me when they happen. I also spoil them a little when they do happen. Now, the reason this ended on, Am I the asshole, is because a few weeks ago my mother contacted me saying she wanted to talk. I was hesitant, but agreed. and we met up in the next town over. No way I could be followed home. My mother explained how she was in the process of divorcing my father, and she wanted to have a relationship with me and my sisters, with emphasis on mending her bond with Amy,

who had not called her mom in years. She explained how she was pressured into the marriage after she had gotten pregnant with me, and never wanted that life for her daughters. I flat out told her no, something several members of my family, family disagreed with as she could have done literally anything to support amy emotionally with what was happened done anything to make her feel better or more secure with what was happening to her but instead she was

shunned and isolated except for when she was needed to cook clean or provide some sort of service to the family even going as far to break her whenever she did try to confine in my mom that she was in pain or scared. Amy was well past her breaking point when I took her and had even planned on committing S-word less than a week after my visit. My mother argued that she had the same right as the other members of the family who had left and had contact with my sisters, but I told her it was because they were doing it to protect their children and themselves. They didn't wait a year after losing custody to try and fight for them, and I really don't even need to give a reason. I have custody and she does not.

Members of Am I the Asshole convinced me that when Amy is in a better place mentally and Lisa is older, I bring it up with them. Leave the decision in their hands. I've been told Amy will be a dependent well after she turns 18. Her mind just doesn't function properly, so there is no risk of her mother getting into contact behind my back, even when she's an adult, and while Amy does have a phone, and a computer. She doesn't have any social media, as she doesn't want any chance of her family trying to contact her as they've threatened her with many forms of torture in the past. This story doesn't have a slam dunk ending. I have my sisters and they are in a safe environment

where they'll get to grow up as kids. Amy is getting the help she needs and is slowly making her way out of the tower she built to protect herself in the only way she could. But she knows there isn't a rush to come out. I'll work with her at the pace she sets. She's still discovering her own interests, but quite like, just reading a book, with a form of fruity tea. She also has a small collection of stuffed animals, mostly build a bear, that she adores and takes one with her everywhere. She's sensitive to texture, so the feeling is a comfort for her. And once a week, we sit down to try and find older bears she likes. We only have three builda bears on her wish list, and honestly, I've loved helping Amy discover herself.

She lost a lot of her ability to think and feel for herself during this time and watching her find her favorite book genre or her favorite type of music is a great feeling. Knowing how far she's come and I live for the days she actually manages a smile. I'd be willing to answer most questions

so if you want to know anything, just ask as I want to bring awareness that these things are still happening to other kids, but obviously some things I'd rather keep to myself for the girl's sake. Edit, first off, thank you all for the rewards. It means a lot, and thank you for everyone offering your kind words and support. It's honestly really difficult this past year, and at times I really do struggle, but

have to stay strong, having my two little girls depend on me so much, and the support everyone has shown is truly the best. Some extra notes. Amy was pulled out of school at 10. A few months after I left home. She was kept isolated in her room and had very little meaningful contact. Also, I'm not going to share a photo of Lickety Split as she is a very recognizable dog. And not everyone who has contact with Amy and her dog knows the full story,

so I would rather not draw in links between the story and her real day-to-day life as she struggles with it enough. Edit number two, wow. This blew up overnight. Thank you all for the awards and sorry if I don't get back to some people. Also, I'm meeting up with my mother later to date to talk to her about the possibility of seeing the girls in the future. Once Amy is a lot more stable and Lisa is old enough to understand what I saved her from and the decision will be entirely theirs. Edit number three, answering the commonly asked questions to save myself repeating, Yes, I was manipulated too, but much differently. I was taught I could treat the women in my family

how I wanted, but I was never really a violent person or intimately driven. I was a jerk, and although I have anger issues at times, taking it out on other people is not something I ever saw effective. My focuses were more on studying. Some of the other men in my family were the same and were never really abusive. Unfortunately, it never really clicked in my head, that if I was being taught that, what were they teaching my sisters behind my back? I blame myself fully because of how long Amy suffered and do my best to make amends for it

by showing her love no one else cared to do. I am in therapy too. I work closely with Amy's therapist too, so don't worry about my mental well-being. I'm looking after me too. And for those mentioning BS because I didn't go into detail about all the legal detail, I would go on days, or just a few hours of sleep during the whole legal battle, because I'd be looking into every detail I could to know how to help my sisters.

Most of it is a messy blur. I also didn't feel many people would care to listen, and I had to chop loads out of my story and still had people saying it was too long. The story is unbelievable. I get that. I wouldn't want to believe it either. You don't need to say it, though. Just downvote and move along. I don't care what you choose to believe. Amy was pulled out under the premise that she was being homeschooled. I'm not sure how it worked from there. I was never homeschooled and I didn't homeschool the girls. I'm not sure how my family got around DOCs or anything like that. I just know it worked for six years.

And we have never heard from the O.P. ever again. But I hope the O.P. and his sisters are doing better now. 16 years of marriage, 5 kids, found out this morning my husband has been having an affair. I, 38 female, and my husband, 39 male, have been married for 16 years, together for 18. We have five children together. The youngest is only 5 months old. He is active duty navy and has been gone for weeks. Yesterday he came home for a two-week leave

but immediately wanted to go out to drive lift for extra money which I thought was weird because he hadn't seen us in so long. I even joked as he left that he better not be sneaking out to another woman. Ha ha ha. He didn't come home until after 5 a.m. At 5.30 he was asleep and his phone pinged and I looked at the message. It was a Facebook messenger messenger message.

message from a woman that said, glad you made it home okay. I love you. So I messaged back that I'm his wife, and who is this? The girl spilled. She's on his ship, another sailor. She and he have been having an affair for months. He told her we were separated and that he loved her, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I woke him up and confronted him and he admitted everything. told me that I'd been difficult lately with my post-partum depression, told him that she isn't distracted by kids, and when they are together, it's just her and him. Told me she's exciting and me and him are too routine.

When he got done blaming me, he started blaming her by saying, you know I have a hard time saying no to people. I said, yeah, you had no choice but to de her down, I guess. I told him he did not have. have to choose between us that she can have him. Worst of all, she is the age of my oldest, his stepson. She's 21, same age.

And he said, I never thought it would be permanent with her, because I don't want any more kids, and she's so young, I don't want to deprive her of that. He had a whole ass other relationship behind my back, like a girlfriend, girlfriend. Like, and I love you, let's talk about a future third. It's so effing cliche it hurts. I can't believe I'm like a effing lifetime special having to say my husband had an affair with a co-worker half his age. I look at my infant daughter and all I can say is that I hope she stays as far away from marriage as possible. 16 years. Five kids. Blind-sighted. I'm such an idiot. I'm just standing in the wreckage of my life going, what now?

I told him the marriage is over. I just need a hug. And now let's get into some of the top comments. One user says, I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. Talk to a lawyer and a therapist ASAP. Secure your finances. You do not deserve this.

And someone else says, screenshots and take half of his retirement. If you want, send evidence to his commander. and he will be formally disciplined for potential fraternization. Source, am former military officer. And the O.P. responds and says, I have been considering it. All I have are the screenshots of the Facebook messages.

I'm worried if I get him in trouble, it could hurt me and the kids too. Right now, this is his only income. I am stupidly knowing what I know now, a stay-at-home, mom. We also live on base housing and my 13 year old depends on tri-care for his medical needs. I'm afraid getting him in trouble would backfire on us. I need to research it more. My head is just spinning. And the OP adds something else in the comments that says, I just want to add one thing. When he was telling me what happened with her, I mentioned weren't you concerned about getting they're pregnant, and he said no because they pulled out. And I said, wait a minute. Does that mean

you weren't using protection? And he admitted that they weren't. So no, I have to go get a full STD panel on top of everything else because I'm exclusively breastfeeding our daughter. I'm sharing this because it feels like an extra violation on top of the betrayal. I am a big proponent of informed consent. And by him withholding that, he was having a little bit of a little bit of unprotected intimacy with someone else that took my consent away from me. I just feel extra gross right now. And someone else says, I'm so sorry. I was there, but only with two kids, but youngest, 10 weeks old. My only advice is attorney now. Find out your rights and options. It blew my mind to learn two years later the mistress I confronted is still with him. She didn't care we had a newborn and

toddler so that entire time he got to stay with her while I dealt with my kids in my life falling apart. Men like this never change. Read, leave a cheater, gain a life. Many victims go through hysterical bonding where you want to be intimate or play the pick me game, but you will regret it later on. You don't want him to pick you. He's trash that ruined your marriage, stability, and kids foundation. You need to be angry and hate him and tell your support system. And then the opi comes back 18 days later with an update and let's get into it. This reads, so I have an unhappy update. After making him leave, I went to the chaplain for advice and he asked to speak for both of us. I told him I wasn't interested in reconciliation, but would be.

be willing to talk to him. My husband cried and he said he just wanted his family back. The chaplain pushed me to give him another chance and for me to sit down with him at home and have a real conversation before filing for divorce. After we left that session, my husband got all of his stuff out of the house and moved in with his affair partner. Yep, even though he cried to the chaplain, he immediately moved in with her. I thought about what to do for a long time and then decided I cannot tolerate this and would tell his command about the affair and them living together. So that weekend I called him and told him what I planned to do. He started freaking out and told me that he was going to commit S word, that he had nothing

to live for anymore. At this point, I got in contact with the family advocates on base and also texted the chaplain about my concerns for his safety and the safety of me and the safety of me and our children. Two days later, he came by to have our talk. I can't share too many details from here on now, but what I can say is that I reiterated that I was informing his command and had evidence to show them at this point that he had hit me, tried to attack one of our children who was in the room with us, who tried to defend me, and chased us around the house like a madman. My son ran to the neighbor to get help, and they called 911. Police were called in the base lockdown for several hours while they searched for my husband.

They found him eventually and brought him to his command where a no-contact order was put in place. Since then, I have filed for a protective order, been working with DV advocates, and CPS, who was called because my child was involved. CPS has been great, by the way. They told me I was doing everything. right protecting my children and put a safety plan in place that keeps him away from us. As far as I'm aware, the Navy is investigating and he may face charges, non-judicial punishment or court martial. For now, he is free to roam and not locked away. It's been a very scary time. The child that was involved is currently sleeping next to my bed because he is so scared.

I've taken some practical home security steps. I also call. called a DV shelter to try to get there, but they told me they were at capacity and didn't have room for a mother and four children, and the next shelter was several hours away. School is about to start, and I also have to be able to go to court so that wasn't an option. I also cannot leave the state now because I filed a protective order, and it requires me to stay because of the children. So I'm a sitting duck just praying and hoping he doesn't murder us. I'm not exactly. I'm not exactly, Here is a man who can lie like he breathes, who became violent and endangered his own child just for his affair being threatened to be reported. What happens when he faces the loss of his career, or even potentially his freedom?

I wish I had a better update. I don't. I'm scared to death. I'm working with every agency that will help me. Police, courts, CPS, advocates, legal aid, etc. None of it matters if he shows up with a gun in the middle of the night. We live on base with him. It's not like he is far from us, and again, he is not restrained from movement. I bought a plane ticket for my mom, but she can only stay for nine days and won't be here until the end of August. Everyone, please keep me and my children in your thoughts. I am doing everything I can to keep my kids safe.

I can't believe this is my life after all these years. I feel so awful for my kids. I'm just holding my baby and praying all the time for us. I almost didn't update, but I wanted to not deal with this all alone. There's not much anyone can do, but boy, could I use some emotional support? Anyone who has been through this and made it out, please tell me it'll be okay. And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry.

I can relate sadly to a lot of this. Right down to he lies like he breathes. This is so scary and I really hope things work out in a way where justice is served for you and your children. Is it possible for you to physically go somewhere else for a little bit? I know your mom is coming, but can you go to her instead? And the OP responds and says, She is in another state

and I'm legally, cannot leave the state now, that I filed a protective order. And the OP makes a quick edit to their post here and says, update, I won my protective order. I know it's just a piece of paper, but I'm so proud of myself. It was so scary to show up because I didn't have a lawyer, but I did it.

I faced him. And the judge granted me a one-year protection order. ordered supervised only visitation and ordered him to get batterer classes. I'm so relieved, still taking it one day at a time. And another commenter says, these are just a list of questions slash suggestions. Do you have a security system installed? Do you have extra locks on your doors plus windows and each of your children's doors plus windows? You can most likely use child locks for indoor windows, but you'll want an internal lock for each of your doors.

This includes rooms that do not have windows, maybe a bathroom or pantry. There are internal locks that are easy to remove as well, since I assume it's base housing, and you may not be able to make permanent changes. Do you have a safe box for legal documents that you can grab easily with you in case that you need to leave suddenly? In the same vein, do you have a go bag for yourself and each of your children? How much cash can you reasonably get and have tucked away just in case you need to leave? Do you have a pay-as-you-go cell phone to keep charged in your car? Always have your gas tank full.

Because school is starting again, you need to contact their schools and inform them of the risk their father poses, the legal status, that he may be armed, and that he is under no circumstances to be allowed to pick them up. And I know these aren't the best, but maybe if your children have phones, always have them sharing their location or put an air tag slash other tracking device in their backpack. I'm not saying don't have weapons,

but buying a weapon after this situation may not look great in a trial if you have to use them. My mama would say to buy a cast iron frying pan and use it frequently. And the OP responds in saying, I'm taking a lot of protective steps, I promise. I just can't give details in case he were to find this post. And then the OP comes back eight days later with an update, and let's get into it.

It reads, well, girls, things are bleak. We are now in a domestic violence shelter. The reason the protective order did not stop him. The day after the incident where he hit me and chased my son out of the house, he came with military police to get his stuff. Most of it, he'd already moved to his affair partner's house. Two days after the protective order was granted, he came again. I explained he already did this, and he has no stuff here, and they said, okay, noted, and it won't happen again. Then, two days later, he did it again, but this time it was someone who looked like.

like a regular cop in an unmarked car. The guy said he was there to escort my husband in the home to get his stuff. I said military police already escorted him and he had nothing here. This is where it got scary. He said he didn't care about civil matters and he was just there to make sure my husband got inside the house. I said absolutely not. I told him I have a protective order which means he can't come near me, the kids or the home. My husband got out of the back of the unmarked car and stood on my lawn. My kids ran and locked themselves in the bathroom. The man said, if I have a problem with it, to call a lawyer.

I called 911 instead. I asked for his badge number. Dispatch could not identify him, and so base police were sent out. I shut my door, and a few minutes later, the military police came. I let the watch commander inside to do a thorough walkthrough and show that my husband had no belonging to here. My neighbor called me, the one my son ran to for help the night he hit me, and said my husband was outside my house smiling like a psycho. Anyway, the watch commander noted in his report that my husband had no possessions in the home.

He told me he can't stop him from doing this again. After they left, I called a DV shelter, and we went to stay there. My husband is testing fences to see what he can get away with, to see how far he can push. I believe we are in danger. Today I have to hand my beloved dog

over to a rescue because I could not leave her alone at the house while we are gone as he could hurt her to hurt me. My mom has room for us in another state at her house. I have to figure out how to get there. My husband changed,

accounts and locked us out of the money. I told my victim legal advocate, basically my Navy lawyer, and he said, command can put pressure on him, but not force him to give us any money without a court order. I also wrote his CMC and email saying we have no money for diapers or necessities. I asked the Navy Marine Relief Corps Society if they could give us a grant so that I can afford the gas and hotel tells to drive several states over to my mom's house. I haven't gotten an answer yet. My nine-year-old's 10th birthday is tomorrow, and that's of course canceled for safety reasons. He has been crying all day. My 13-year-old got in trouble at school for telling another student his dad tried to kill him. They reported him to the school officer. I explained he was a victim in a very recent crime,

but they said it's a violent statement and they have to report it so now my 13 year old is scared to go back to school so basically in a month i have been cheated on hit had my children severely traumatized ended my marriage gotten a protective order lost all access to my income been harassed even though i have above-mentioned protection order and now i'm facing losing all of my possessions my home my dog, everything. But we are alive. We are together. One day at a time.

A lot of you have been asking for updates. I really wish I had a more Hollywood uplifting one for you. But real life is slow moving and unfairly an uphill battle for survivors. But that's what we are. Survivors. I will update again if and when I can get to my moms. I wish we could stay here in my house. but we live on base.

He keeps harassing us. He is dangerous. And as soon as he is discharged, still under investigation, then we lose the base housing anyway. It's a bad situation. Please keep me and my children in your thoughts. And now let's get into some of the top comments. One user says, you can file a violation with the court that issued your injunction, especially if the escort could not be identified.

They are usually told they get one chance to get their things. Violations of injunctions can be handled in injunction court or referred to criminal misdemeanor court. So I'd suggest filing every time he pushes. Every third party contact is typically prohibited in these orders, so sending someone to relay a message to you could get him in trouble. The court won't like it, and if he doesn't stop, slupe, it is picked up criminally, he could end up stuck in jail without bond while it is pending.

And then the OP response and says, I called the sheriff's office today to do this. And they sent me to the watch commander who told me to contact the sheriff's office. I'm effing exhausted but trying to get someone to take it seriously. But there's a lot of confusion over who has jurisdiction since I live on base. And it was base police who responded to the incident. And someone else says, I'm so sorry this is happening to you.

It sounds absolutely horrific. You are doing the right thing by leaving and prioritizing yourself and your kid's safety. How much would it cost for you to get to your moms? And the OPE responds and says, honestly, about $600. $250 to $300 for gas and $250 plus $300 for hotels. I'd have to stop three times because it's a 26-hour drive

and my baby is six months old. I'm really hoping Navy Marine Corps Relief Society can give it to me in a grant. I'm also going to try to sell my furniture and washer and dryer and all of that because I can't take it with me anyway. Literally can only take my kids and I and three suitcases. I'm not asking for anything, and I don't want to be banned. I'm just answering your questions.

I really need this community for support, so if I'm not supposed to answer this, please don't ban me. just tell me and I'll delete it. It's like losing everything in a fire, except the destruction is a man. And someone else says, sell everything in your house. You will be able to get a good portion of it from that.

And the OPE responds and says, yeah, I might as well because otherwise it's getting donated or thrown away. And someone else says, The restraining order is great. It's progress. But when you're living on base, it's not enough because it's a state thing and base is federal property. You need a no contact order from his command.

That is what actually has teeth into this situation. Do you know who his command's legal officer is? Have you been in touch with them? And the OP says we have a no contact order through his command as well. And then the OP comes back the next day with an update titled Spending My Son's B-Day at the Women and Children's Shelter, and it reads as follows. Yep, after 16 years of marriage and five children, my kids and I are now living at a DV shelter. Long story short, my military husband had an affair, and when I threatened to tell his command, he escalated to violence against me

and our 13-year-old. Was granted a protective order, which he violated, and now we are celebrating my son's 10th birthday at the DV shelter. If you want to know more, check my post history because I'm exhausted. So why did I label this happy girl dinner? Because we are alive. We are safe and we are together. I got enough birthday cake to share with all of the other families here and we made a big celebration of today. We can lose our house, our stuff, my dog had to give her to a rescue so she wouldn't fall victim to violence or or retaliation while we are at the shelter and our income, but he cannot make us lose our joy or our love for one another. It's only up from here, ladies. And then the OP comes back about two to three weeks later with an update titled, We Made It to Safety. Hey, everyone, I'm the one who

posted a few days, weeks ago, about moving across the country to escape domestic violence with my kids and having $100 for food. I have had a lot of people asking me to update so I just wanted to let y'all know we made it to my mom's house safely. Baby girl and I are sharing a room and my other three boys are sharing a room. I have five children total but one is an adult in college in another state. Yep, my oldest is 21 years apart from my youngest. So yeah, I drove 1,200 miles alone by myself with four kids and whatever I could fit in the back of our vehicle literally across half the country. It was scary. I usually avoid highways and I've never driven that far before. It took several days to get here, but I just got up every day and did it scared, one mile at a time.

We got here a few hours ago. Life certainly hasn't gone the way we planned, but I'm so thankful to have my wonderful supportive mom and to have the supportive online community of people here. My kids will never sleep afraid for their lives again. Tonight, I think we all sleep better than we have in a few weeks. Here's to our new chapter. Thank you all so much for your advice and support. You have no idea how much it meant to me. It kept me going, seriously, knowing there were others who survived something similar

and made it okay on the other side. Help to give me the strength I needed to make it here, even though I was terrified the whole time. I don't know y'all, but I love y'all. We made it. And that is the last we have heard from the O.P., and I really hope the O.P. and her kids are doing better now. My adultery ruined my life.

I'm writing this with a lot of pain in my mind. I don't expect people to give me sympathy. I just wanted to share my story so that people could take a lesson. So please, please, before you cheat on your husband slash wife or partner, think about what you are giving up for a few minutes of pleasure. I, 37 male, married my wife, Annie, 35 female, about 13 years ago. We dated for three years and tied the knot. Our marriage was great. We were really happy.

Suddenly she becomes pregnant. I know it is kind of our fault because we didn't use protection every time. We decided to keep the baby and our son, 10 male, was born. I thought our family was complete, but things drastically changed. My wife was always busy with our son. She used to be this fit girl who was always radiant. but she just looked like a zombie to me. She didn't care about how she looked while she was in public.

I started to feel resentment towards her. Before I did anything stupid, I talked to her and gave her an ultimatum that if she doesn't go back to her normal shape, I would leave her. She started crying and saying that she is always exhausted and doesn't have time. I told her I would help her as much as I can, but looking back now, I did the bare minimum. The trouble came when she was again pregnant after five years. All the hard work she has done was down the drain.

She gained a lot of weight. I avoided her. Just looking at her made me sick. I was either at the gym or at the bar. I was looking for excuses to not come home. That's when I met a girl at my gym. She was hot and had a nice body. She was also very much younger than I was, 20 female.

We started talking. I felt alive again. I felt like someone is here in front of me who appreciates me a lot. A few days later, I went to her house and we hooked up. It was like a drug to me. I didn't realize that I was becoming more and more distant with my family. So, just like every cheater, I got caught. My wife found out that I was hooking up with someone else. She broke down in tears right in front of me, and she just kept repeating, How could you do this to me? You broke our family. At the time, I did something bad.

I am still ashamed of it. I yelled at her and called her a hag. I told her if she looked after herself, I would not have cheated. That it is all her fault. My wife started laughing. It confused me. She said if I helped her,

she might have had the time. I was never home and outside effing some random girl. She told me she wanted a divorce right there. I was really hateful towards her and said, Fine, you can, but you really think any man would ever want you with your baggage, my kids. I could see it broke her and crushed her. I wanted that at the time.

The divorce was settled. She only wanted the house. We shared the custody of the kids. The divorce felt like a relief. I could be with my girlfriend whenever I wanted, but that is when I saw the changes. Whenever I was home, the house was not clean. There would be dishes in the sink for days. I remember looking at them and calling Annie, but Annie didn't live in my house. It became tougher when it was my weekend to have the kids. I realized I knew nothing about my kids. My son was a picky eater. My daughter was still very little. She would cry a lot. It was exhausting. No matter how much I try, my son would have always complained about everything and tell me that's not how his mother did it. That wasn't the end of my problems. Things with my girlfriend became bland way too soon. My wife would always have a home-cooked meal ready for me. But my girlfriend is just happy to have leftover or frozen pizza for all she cares.

I was sick of it. The intimate life was also very boring. My ex-wife was really great at intimacy. I never had any bad intimate experience with her, but my girlfriend lacked imagination. Also, she has really one-dimensional personality. My son really picked on things. He started resenting me.

He was rude towards my girlfriend. My girlfriend would abuse him by calling him a brat. The last straw was when my son yelled at me and said that he hated me and my girlfriend would never be his mommy. It struck me like a thunder. Things ended with her right there. On the other hand, Annie started to change a lot. She lost a lot of weight. She looked relaxed and like her old self.

I once complimented her that she looked good. I only got a cold thank you back. I got to know from a mutual friend of ours that she would suffer. sometimes say that the divorce made her realize she deserved better. And things got better because she had some time for herself. Before that, she had to clean up my mess and now there is hardly any mess left. I was hit with another realization that I treated her badly. I never helped her when she needed my help the most. Annie understood me. She was kind and compassionate. She was just going through a rough phase and I kicked her to the curb. I went into a depression. I asked

Annie if she could give me a chance. She said no. I don't blame her. For my son, I got to know she started dating an old friend of hers. My son loves him. My daughter calls him Dada. I tried my best for my daughter to call me that, but she didn't. I met them together at a business convention. That man had his arm around my Annie and was showing her off. I was angry. I felt this rage inside me. Later that night, I drank a lot and started to call Annie. I spewed nonsense that her new boy toy is nothing but a weak man that is dating a pathetic single mom like her. I know this because the next day she came to my house along with my parents. My parents ripped me apart and said to stay the hell away from Annie. I lost my kids. My wife.

wife, and I already lost my parents after the divorce. I never felt so alone. I wake up on my empty bed. Annie would always cuddle me early in the morning. I missed her warmth. Things between my son did not improve. He probably knows why me and his mother aren't together. A few months ago, Annie dropped a bomb. She said that she was pregnant. That was the moment I knew I lost her forever. From that moment, whenever I went to her house to get my kids, I would see how her boyfriend basically worships her and takes care of her needs. If I wasn't so stupid or arrogant and helped her, cherished her, we would still be a happy family. I guess this is my punishment. I have to see another man play family with my Annie and kids. So please don't be like me. If you really cannot,

just divorce or break up with that person. I have hurt a lot of people because of my selfishness. And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says, he's not playing family. He is their family. He's the father you didn't want to be and the husband you refuse to be. All you can do now is work on yourself,

change who you are and be a better father and a better person. And then the OP comes back two months later with an update and it reads as follows. It has been two months since I posted on this place. I know I deserve all the hate comments I got.

I know I am a POS. I deserve to be miserable. And to all those saying it is rage, bait, and that I am a troll, I am not. I needed a place to vent anonymously. I needed people to hear me.

I knew that I would get hate messages. I know I deserve every ounce of hate you guys have for me and even more, but I know I effed up. I know I was an evil person for what I did. This will always have a huge hole in my heart. I know I have to carry this guilt throughout my life. But to those who said I should get some help, I did. I have been going to therapy for a long time now. Therapy has helped me a lot.

It made me a bit lighter, but still. Still, I had guilt and shame in my heart. I know I cannot go back in time and fix anything, but I am now trying my best so that I can be a better person than I was a few years ago. The first thing I did was begged for forgiveness from Annie. I told her I knew I was an asshole. She didn't deserve the way I treated her. She is a kind and sweet person.

She always has been. And this is my life's biggest regret that I treated her so horrible and all I want now is to be a good father to her son. And I wished her, and her new family, good luck. I know she picked a better man, and I hope she gets everything she deserves. She said she forgives me, but she doesn't want any kind of relationship with, unless, of course, it is about the kids. I also sat down with my son and said sorry to him, too.

I'm an idiot that I didn't realize this whole thing put him and his sister in a weird position, I told both of them sorry individually. My son is still on the fence if he wants to forgive, but I try to be a better dad for them. I now understand, I may have never had the same kind of relationship with him, but I just want to do my duties as a father. I do not want them to become like me. Whenever they come to my place, I try to be more attentive towards them. My daughter does call me Papa now.

I take them to go get ice cream or simply just on a little. a fishing trip. My son likes to draw. I got him some art supplies. I know this will not buy me his love, but I want him to have everything. He has been a little more open towards me. He sometimes asks for my help with his homework. Annie and I also decided that we should take our kids to therapy. They have been through a lot because of me, and I accept the responsibility of the fallout. Lastly, I am not thinking about Dayton anymore. I know I do not deserve love in any way, shape, or form. Moreover, I do not want to include a new person in my already messed up life.

Maybe in a few years, but not now. Right now, I just want to focus on my kids. Thanks to all of you who gave me some advice. It helped, and thanks for listening. And we have never heard from the O.P. ever again. And all right, guys, that wraps up four hours of some terrifying Reddit threads. I really hope you enjoyed today's video. If you did, make sure to like the video and subscribe to the channel.

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