Snook - 4 Hours of Unhinged Reddit Threads

Episode Date: June 22, 2026

From a tragic thread of how a user lost his wife to something unexpected... to a strange story of how the OP keeps getting their house broken into... this is 4 Hours of Unhinged Reddit Threads. I hope every OP in this video is doing better now. Would you like to see me make similar videos in the future? Leave your thoughts down below in the comment section, and make sure to like and subscribe! Please do not attempt to contact anyone talked about in this video. Join the Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/SnookYT⁠ ⁠Follow me on instagram and Spotify! If your story or post was included in today's video and you wish for it to be taken down, please reach out to this email. [e-mail] And yes, I'm a human voice. NEXT SUB GOAL - 100,000 subscribers! So make sure to subscribe! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey what's up guys and welcome back to the channel and today we're getting into four hours of some unhinged Reddit threads and oh boy do I have some insane Reddit threads for you guys today. These threads are disturbing, horrifying, depraved and like the title says, just downright unhinged. So you're going to want to make sure to stick around and I appreciate you stop by means the world. It makes sure like the video and subscribe to the channel. The channel subscriber goal is 1 million subscribers before the end of the year. So please subscribe. And you heard me right.

This is four hours of some Reddit threads. So you're going to want to make sure to sit back, relax, grab a drink, and grab a snack. And without further ado, let's get into four hours of some unhinged Reddit threads. My wife and her best friend accused me of having an affair, then got angry. when I didn't have one. And just a quick warning, this is a tragic, tragic Reddit thread. But let's get into it.

I, 31 male, and my wife, who is 29 female, had a baby last December. It was a traumatic birth, and my wife developed postpartum depression. While she was originally going to go back to work after the birth, She's been struggling enough that we decided to wait until our daughter was a year old and reassess. She has been going to therapy weekly. With my wife home full time, I've had to work increased hours.

This is something we discussed prior to making this decision, and she knew this from the start. A few weeks ago, my boss approached me about a project that would require a lot of overtime in a short amount of time. It would both be great financially and for my career. I talked to my wife about it, and she agreed that I should say yes to my boss. For the four weeks, I'd be working on this, my mother-in-law and her best friend, Jesse, who is 29 female, name changed, would come help out with some of the duties that I typically do. Jesse is a stay-at-home mom with two young kids. She began coming over during the day and would watch the kids with my wife. Three weeks into the project, it became clear that we'd need a few more weeks to get it together.

I went home that night and talked to my wife about it. She said she was okay with it, but got very cold in the days after. It wasn't unusual behavior over the past few months, so I didn't think much about it and tried not to take it personally. During the last week of the project, I got home one night and saw that Jesse was still at the house. I didn't think much about it. Said hi to her and my wife and then went to go check on our daughter. Before I could get to her room, I heard Jesse say something along the lines of, he doesn't even stop to greet you. Definitely a sign.

I turned around and asked what it was a sign of. Immediately, my wife started crying, and Jesse started accusing me of having an affair. She told me that I must hate my wife because she has postpartum depression, and I'm not attracted to her because she gained weight from the pregnancy. Neither of these things are true. I'm trying my best to help my wife through her PPD while supporting our family, and I think she looks great how she is right now. She just hasn't wanted to have intimacy, and I haven't pushed.

Jesse then demanded to see my phone. I told her no. She told me that's a sign that I'm guilty. I told my wife that I would let her see my phone if she wanted to. She nodded and something inside me broke. I guess it was the thought that she actually actually, believed I was having an affair really got to me, and that she didn't trust me after everything we've been through. Well, she looked through the phone and there was no evidence. Jesse started saying

that I deleted the evidence. She started screaming and woke up our daughter, so I told her to get out of the house. Eventually, she left and I went to calm our daughter, since my wife. She was going to calm our daughter, since my wife was still on the couch crying. When my daughter was asleep again, I sat down by my wife and tried to talk to her about what's been happening. She told me that she's been worried ever since I started working all the overtime. I told her that we talked about how good of an opportunity it was and she agreed to letting me take on this project. She said it was very suspicious to increase the length of the project. I told her that sometimes, that happens.

She wanted more evidence. So I showed her messages and emails with timestamps from work and pay stubs showing the overtime. She said she believed me and was sorry for doubting me. It was just that Jesse had been telling her that these were all signs that I was cheating. I asked her why she believed Jesse more than me and why she didn't come to me with her concerns. She didn't have a real answer. It's been a couple of weeks and the project is over.

I actually scaled back and I'm trying to work a little less than I was before the project so I can spend more time with my wife and daughter. But I feel so burnt out trying to do everything and becoming resentful because in the back of my mind I know that my wife doesn't trust me. I ask myself, what happens the next time I have a project? Or I have to run errands one day? Or if I have a business

trip? Am I going to come back every time to accusations that I'm cheating? I've tried bringing it up a couple of times, but my wife tells me it's not the time in that she's tired or sad. I try to be mindful of her feelings, but I wonder if that means that I can never have any of my own. I'm not sure what to do here. Any advice for how I can move forward? And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says you need couples therapy and to ditch Jesse. Someone else says this is a bad situation made worse by your wife's friend who is possibly projecting her own relationship issues on you guys. I would go to couples counseling and keep reassuring your wife that you love her. Depression makes you think crazy things. I hope the best for you.

And someone else says, Jesse probably projected her own problems into your relationship. You have to tell your wife that she should trust you. Maybe some therapy. Her best friend damaged a lot of something that wasn't her problem. She is the devil on your wife. shoulder. And then the OP gives us an update a few days later, and let's get into the update. It reads, Thank you to everyone for all of the advice and support on my previous post. I think a lot of you pointed out what should have been obvious, that I need to get a therapist and start looking after my own mental health. A couple people asked for an update, so I'm giving one, but it's not

happy. That night I approached my wife and told her that I was going to find a therapist. I didn't connect it to her accusations or anything, just said that I was having a tough time and needed therapy. She shrugged and told me to do whatever. Next day, I got home from work and our room in my home office were ripped apart. Things everywhere. Important papers. scattered. I don't see her, but our daughters in her room crying. My wife left her alone. Her cell phones off. I call my in-laws and a few friends, but no one has seen her. I'm starting to get worried and I call my mom to see if she can babysit while I go out and look for her. Before my mom can get home, my wife gets back. Jesse's driving. Jesse doesn't come in. She hasn't been back. She hasn't

me back in the house since I kicked her out because she was offended by my behavior, but my wife does. She's clearly upset, been crying. I asked what happened. I thought at first the house might have been robbed. She starts screaming at me that I'm being unfaithful and that the therapy is a front so I can meet my mistress. I try to calm her down and tell her that's not true, but she came at me and she hit me. My nose is broken. She kind of realized what she did and sat down on the couch and went comatose.

Just stared at the wall. I went into my daughter's room and locked the door. Called my mom to tell her what happened. She was already on her way. And my mother-in-law to ask her to come over and take care of my wife. I packed a bag for my daughter, and when my mom got there, we left. My wife didn't even look up.

We dropped my daughter off with my dad and then went to urgent care for my nose. I got blood all over my mom's new Subaru. My daughter and I are staying with my parents for a while, and my wife's staying with hers. I am looking into getting a restraining order against Jesse. my wife and I are separating. I love her, but I won't live with someone who hurts me and who could potentially hurt our daughter. I'm not going forward to the divorce yet,

but the hopes that my wife will get the treatment she needs and can work things out. My in-laws told me that they're looking at an inpatient treatment at a local hospital, but I also have everything well documented in case of an eventual customer. battle. My heart's broken because I know this isn't my wife. This is a sickness in her mind, but I need to keep myself and our daughter safe and give her the space to recover. I'm hoping that

this is the right decision. Thanks again, everyone. Edit, thank you all for your feedback. I've talked to my parents after reading your comments and came to the conclusion that for my daughter's I need to file a police report. I am headed to the station now. And let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says F. Jesse. I'm not saying she's the cause of all of this, but she definitely was the catalyst.

Bet she enjoyed the circus show she helped produce. And someone replies and says, yeah, sounds like she tried to brainwash O.P.'s wife at every chance and was for the most part successful. This is some premeditated psychopath. I hope for the best, O.P. And someone else says, I'm so sad to hear all this.

Breaks my heart that you and your daughter have to go through so much pain. I hope it gets easier. And someone else says, wow, from reading this and your previous post, it sounds like Jesse deliberately gotten your wife's ear in order to ruin your marriage. More than likely, her life is in shambles and she wanted your wife to be in shambles as well. For her to be with your wife and not have the baby is pathological. Good for you for having your child with you and for working to get Jesse out of your life.

She will not be happy until your marriage has been completely destroyed along with your wife. Jesse is pathological. She most definitely isn't a friend. friend. She did what she was accusing you of. She didn't care about your wife at all and caused this break. You are right to get yourself into counseling. You have a long road ahead of you. Keeping you and your daughter safe are your main concern. I am sorry this happened. Jesse took advantage of your wife's vulnerability and planted her evil thoughts in your wife's head. Wow. There are no words.

for what she did other than evil and psychotic. And then the OP posts another update a few days later, and let's get into it. The update is titled, Do I Let The Woman I Fault with My Wife's Death, Let Her Speak at Her Funeral? There's more context for the situation in my post history. My wife passed away on early Monday morning, convinced by her friend Jesse, that I was having an affair that I did not have. She had a mental break, which resulted in me taking our infant daughter and staying with my parents for a while. She was with her parents, who planned on taking her to the hospital for an inpatient treatment on Monday. On Sunday night, she came to my parents' house and demanded I give her our daughter.

Because she had left her alone for several hours, the last time she was responsible for her and had gotten physical with me, I refused. I offered to let her come in and spend time with her while my parents and I were present. But she didn't want to come in and wanted to take our daughter with her. She was upset, but left eventually. A few hours later, she drove her parents' car into a tree and died. The friend, Jesse, came to see my daughter and me yesterday. After some tears, she told me that she was planning to speak at my wife's funeral. She had already cleared it with my in-laws, but was letting me know as a courtesy.

I told her she would not be speaking at the funeral. We fought it and she left after telling me that I was an asshole and not the only person who loved my wife. I talked to my in-laws who are adamant that Jesse be allowed to speak. She and my wife knew each other since they were kids and my in-laws are close to her. We are all very fragile right now. And I fear that pushing this further would hurt my relationship with my

in-laws, which I don't want. Still, the thought of seeing Jesse up there at my wife's funeral makes me feel sick. I don't think I can stand to listen to her, knowing that she took joy in my wife's deteriorating mental health and picked up my wife, leaving my daughter home alone. That being said, I don't trust myself to make the best decisions right now. My mind is clouded by grief guilt and fear. My parents are split on what to do and I don't have the energy to reach out to my friends. So I'm coming here again to ask for advice. Thank you. And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says my concern is that if Jesse is given a platform to speak at the funeral, she will try to shift the blame for your wife's death onto you.

She will call you the bastard that took his wife's reason to live. Giving someone manipulative a platform to be heard is one of the worst things you can do. My concern is that if you don't put a hard boundary here now, you will have this woman haunting your life and stalking your child for years. You need to have a conversation with your in-laws. air every single detail. Contact a lawyer to see if an order of protection can be granted to you and your child so that Jesse cannot be allowed to see either of you.

If you don't do it now, one day she could try and steal your child and your in-laws might try to help her. And someone else says, do your in-laws know what she had said to her? Because sitting down and having a conversation with them would be the logical choice. If they knew that this woman had a hand in causing your wife's death,

I sincerely doubt they would want her even at the funeral, let alone speak at it. As a matter of fact, make sure as many people as possible know what she said and caused. She prayed on her friend at her most vulnerable time. I'm not even sure how she can look in the mirror

knowing she was behind this. And this is the last update we have ever received from the O.P. And this is just a beyond tragic story. I mean, the poor O.P.'s wife was dealing with postpartum depression and instead of getting the help she needed, She got a manipulative friend that spoke just complete nonsense into her ear and honestly probably made her go crazy and worsened the postpartum depression even worse.

And now the O.P.'s poor child won't have a mother growing up or throughout their entire lives. And the O.P. lost their wife in a tragic and just, you know, heartbreaking way because of this unhinged woman. who, you know, manipulated and made the O.P.'s wife just dissent further into, you know, poor mental health. And I really wish that the O.P.'s wife could have gotten the psychiatric treatment she needed before. Um, this entire thing happened. But this is truly just one of the most tragic and heartbreaking threads I have ever read. And I really hope that the O.P. And the O.P.'s daughter are doing better now.

O.P. discovers her husband has been sleeping with her mother and fathering her children. The O.P. thinks she ruined her mother's life and reputation. My 40 female parents, dad who's 63 male and mom who is 60 female, have been married for 43 years. I have six siblings, 42 female, 38 female. 34 female and 20 male, 20 male and 18 male. I have been with my husband, 39 male, since we are 15. I got pregnant at 17 and we moved in with my parents. I gave birth to my now 22 year old daughter. We got married at 18 shortly after. My dad's father passed shortly after our wedding and left his ranch-style house. house to my father. My grandparents built a house next door to my parents when they retired.

My parents decided to let us live in this house and told us this would be my inheritance. My husband and I had no issues with this. We went on to have 20 male, 14 female, and 5 female, and I'm currently seven months pregnant with my last child, a boy due in April. I thought I had a good marriage. We were intimate more than twice a week. We went on date nights. We bought each other gifts. We didn't fight. My entire world was shattered on New Year's Eve when I returned early from a girl's trip I had taken with some friends. I walked into my bedroom to find my mom having intimacy with my husband. My mother screamed at me to get out of their bedroom, which really shook me up even more. Unfortunately, my oldest daughter was also home in her bedroom across the house, getting ready for a party. She ran out and witnessed my all but a bed sheet, unclothed mother, run out of her house next door to her house and slammed the door. My daughter was devastated and went to my sister's house. I asked her to not say anything until I first talked to my husband.

I asked him for the truth. He told me that my mom seduced him when we were 18 and living in their house. They'd been having unprotected intimacy at least once a month for longer than we were married. I ran the math and was horrified because the timeline meant my twin brothers and youngest brother could be my husband's. I immediately called my dad and told him to come to my house without my mom. I made my husband confess and my dad was devastated. He and my mom were high school sweethearts too. Needless to say, we could hear my mother screaming from her house when he confronted her.

I then told my older sister, and she and I decided to have her throw a party for the whole extended family, and we invited my ex's family as well. At the party, I had my 22 female daughter take all the kids to our basement and put on a movie, leaving only the adult children and siblings and I told them exactly what they'd been doing. Most of the family is on my side, except my three youngest siblings. 38F sister, ex's entire family, they all say I'm an asshole for chopping this publicly. Word got out and my mom's best friend, who is on a leadership role at my mom's church, my childhood church called me to verify.

My mom has since been let go as the children's pastor there, and she claims I've essentially ruined her reputation in life. My dad kicked her out, and she's now living with my 38 female sister. And lastly, my dad insisted on a DNA test for the three youngest boys before he'd consider doing anything with their marriage. The twins are my husband's bio-children. I've since kicked him out, and he's living with his parents. My father and I are discussing me moving into his much larger house,

and him selling my grandfather's house and him giving me the money to buy a new house somewhere else to get rid of the memories. My husband is appalled and furious that I proved. He is actually about to have seven kids instead of five. That I'm going to be taking half his business away, from him. My husband started his own HVAC company a few years back, and for the first five years, I helped him get it set up, ran the office completely, and took time away from my teaching career to help him get this established. In my state, all marital assets, including businesses,

are split 50-50. Since the house was still in my father's name, my husband will get no money from the sale. Neither will my mother, since inherited assets are not subject to be split in divorces. My mother is also likely to not get an alimony, as our state is not a no-fault divorce state. I'm now over a month removed, still extremely bitter and angry at my mother, especially at her hypocrisy of calling me a bad word and shaming my family. When she's, she's a bad word, and shaming my family. she's done so much worse. I also despise my ex with everything within me now.

As he was having intimacy, both my mom and me in some instances coming to our bed minutes later. He got my mother pregnant less than a week after getting me pregnant and while I thought it was so cute and fun that I shared a pregnancy experience

with my mom, she was carrying my children's half siblings. He has broken. broken all trust I had in men and being faithful. I have already procured a good lawyer from the firm that helped us in financial matters for both me and my dad, and my dad is helping pay for it. My twin brothers, one of my sisters, and my entire exes family have gone no contact with me and my minor children, and my children have essentially lost all of their grandparents, but my dad, two uncles, and an aunt on my side, and my husband's three brothers, due to this mess.

I've also developed ulcers and digestive issues because of this, so I'm visiting the doctor soon, and I've been in therapy since the first week of January. I've offered this for my two adult children if they need family therapy with all of us, but they're doing individual therapy right now. My daughter knows that we're getting divorced and why. And she's so angry at her dad that I struggle sending her to his house on the weekends. I feel like she's old enough to make a decision on that, but I don't want to damage her relationship with her dad. I've told all my kids it's okay to love their dad, even if he hurt me.

But the oldest two have cut them off 100%. I won't tell my youngest two until their teens why we got adults. divorce, and everyone else has agreed to not spill anything until they're old enough to understand. As for how, I had no idea this affair was ongoing, my husband confirmed me that they would have intimacy at my mom's office at church, in their cars, at a motel, and when we built the business. They started having it routinely in his office, once I went back to teaching. They also had it in our houses too when my father would go away on business trips or I'd be out of town. It was pure happenstance that I came home a day early from a trip because I was uncomfortable from being nearly seven months pregnant and just wanted my own bed for me to find out.

Knowing they'd be carrying on this full-blown affair, still if I hadn't caught them is what I'm still upset about. The fact that the grandmother and father of my children cared so little about destroying our families is what I can't get past. What's hardest for me is that my own mother would do this to me and would continue to do this for years and not caring when it all blew up in her face that she would be destroying her entire family. Edit. Also to add insult to injury, my husband confirmed in one of our mediated conversations, the affair started when I apparently made him angry. He didn't tell me and instead vented to my mom when they were alone. She comforted him and they had intimacy. He loved it and then pursued her after that. He said he would have divorced me but knew he'd get cut off from her and she was so much better at intimacy than me, so stuck it out with me. He told me I was a placeholder of all the betrayal and

low blows. That statement is what keeps me up at night. And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says, good on you for not literally killing your husband. I wouldn't be so strong. And the OP replies and says, My pregnancy is the only reason I didn't end up in jail. And another user says, Check with your state laws, if in the U.S. But where I live, kids can decide whether or not to go to their non-custodial parents' house for visitation.

If that's the case with you, I wouldn't force your daughters to go if she does not want to. And the O.P replies and says, says, thanks for the advice. I'm hoping to have an official custody agreement in place in the next few weeks. And someone else says, this is a level of horrible that is so twisted, gross, and horrific. I hope O.P. and dad and remaining family move on with their lives stronger and better. And someone else says, oh my God, this is extremely. extremely hard to even imagine. You and your kids might need to see a therapist. I'm sorry you have

to deal with this and I hope one day you make some relevant peace with it. And someone replies and says, I'm literally shaking like I'm going to have a panic attack from just vicariously reading about this. I could not even begin to fathom how this woman hasn't completely fallen apart. I would be hospitalized from a S-word attempt or psychotic break or catatonic depression. This is the deepest, worst, most shocking, and far-reaching betrayal. And she's pregnant. Living next to twin brothers slash step-sons that are a product of her mother and husband's betrayal, my God.

And the OPE he replies and says, my pregnancy is the only thing keeping me going. I have to remind myself that I keep going on for him and my other children. I refuse to let this ruin my life. My husband and mother won't get the satisfaction of destroying my life. And then we got an update a few days later, and let's get into it. I tried hard to go the root of a mediated divorce, But my ex told me yesterday, through his lawyers, that he doesn't believe that the baby I'm carrying is his,

and he wants a DNA test as soon as he's born, because he doesn't want to support a child that isn't his. He also believes I routinely cheated on him through our marriage, and that I knew about his ongoing affair, and used that as my excuse to have my own affairs. None of that is true, but I kind of wish it was because it would make this divorce easier. My lawyer basically told me to get ready for a long, drawn out, brutal contested divorce, and that my ex is likely going to try every underhanded tactic in the book to make my life even more miserable. And someone replies to that and says,

Hold your ground, he's mad, he got caught and has to pay the consequences. Stay calm and don't let any of what he says get to you. The only intent is to rile you up. He sounds like a child. Anyone who sides with him needs to be cut from your life. It sounds like they're just as toxic as your mom and ex. Being a single mom is hard. Protect your peace.

And then we get an update a while later and let's get into this update. It reads, this has gone viral on Twitter and thanks to the people who let me know in DMs so I will answer some questions posed both here and there number one my twin brothers look like my egg donors side of the family they look very close to my uncle and grandfather they clearly don't look like my dad at all but they also don't resemble my husband much either my son looks like soon to be X and he's the only child they can

visibly tell is his kid, although my daughter has his nose and jaw shape. Number two, I was definitely enraged the day everything went down, but my dad talked me off the murder ledge and reminded me that I needed to think of my baby and my other kids before I do something that would remove both of their parents from their lives. That is what spared them. I still lived in a rage fog for the next few days, which is what led to the revenge party. I only regret not telling my brothers privately that my egg donor had been cheating. Number three, I honestly don't know all the reasons my 38F sister is on my egg donor's side.

She doesn't get along with me or my sisters and hasn't since high school. I'm not that worried about her. Number four, my twin brothers are upset that I sprung the news publicly. That is what my dad has gotten out of them. They are also in therapy, and my dad has told me to just give them time. He thinks it's just them killing the messenger. I did not tell them the possibility that my ex was their dad. But they can do math and figure out that they're the same age as my son,

and he's younger than the length of the affair. My dad sat them down and explained his reasoning for the DNA test was to prove cheating and not because he was going to abandon them. He is their dad regardless. Number five, I don't believe that my egg donor and soon-to-be-ex waited until he was 18 to have intimacy. But at this point, I'm letting my dad fight that fight and letting them do what he needs to do when dealing with her and their divorce. Number six, I have contingency plans ready to enact in the event they decide to move in together,

but my lawyer doesn't believe my ex is stupid enough to do that with the divorce proceedings turning ugly. And finally, number seven, I forgot to add this in earlier. My husband is four months younger than me. My birthday is in December, and his is April. He will be 40 soon. We were in the same graduating class all through school. from kindergarten through high school. He's not a full year younger than me,

as others have speculated. I'm focusing on my pregnancy, my kids, and moving on. I may provide an update after divorces are finalized, but thanks to everyone for the support and advice.

Thanks for letting this hormonal, sad, ragey, bitter woman, vent and get this off her chest. And also, you keep hearing egg donor. I think that's just the O.P.'s way of kind of insulting her mom after finding out about the affair. And so basically, egg donor is just the O.P.'s mom, but she obviously doesn't have

the respect anymore to even call her mom. But now let's get into update number three. This reads, I had a phone conversation with my aunt today, my egg donor's sister. And she told me there is a family history of cheating in our family on their side of the family. My grandma cheated on my grandpa for years, but they reconciled. My aunt herself had multiple emotional affairs, but is still married to my uncle. She tried blaming genetics on my mom's affair. I laughed out loud at the absurdity of that attempt to justify her affair, and my aunt is now mad at me for not hearing my egg donor out and her explanations for cheating. My dad and lawyer both say I should hear her out,

so I'm still considering doing it right before we meet in early March to establish custody. Edit, I should mention that I asked my aunt if my mama inherited the cheating gene, which child did she pass it on to, and how did my grandma manage to pass it on to both her daughters. So that's probably why she's mad in retrospect. I've honestly lost all sympathy for cheaters after this. And now let's get into update number four. I tried updating this on that post, but it won't let me add another edit. So here is the latest happenings.

I met with my egg donor, dad and our lawyers last evening. Essentially, my egg donor said she knew it was wrong, but enjoyed the attention. The intimacy was great and she enjoyed the thrill of it. She kept sleeping with my dad because she enjoyed their financial stability and carefree life and wanted to stay married. She purposely slept with him after each intimacy, a encounter with my ex, to endure if she got pregnant, she could pass the child off. She also admitted to enjoying the knowledge that my child. my ex enjoyed intimacy with her more than me. She then said that she is moving in with my ex to his new place and that she invited the boys

to live with them. The twins have visited once since the affair went public and told her they don't like my ex and refuse to treat him like he's their father. She said eventually they'll come around once she's married to my ex and then she'll have her family back. I laughed out loud and told her she was delusional and needed psychiatric help. Then I told her I would be taking out an order of protection against her so she'd have no access to my minor children.

She called me a jealous and ungrateful cow for not appreciating that she didn't have an operation to get rid of me and let me live. She said I should be happy that they didn't kick me out when I came home knocked up. She even had the nerve to say I should be thankful. She kept my husband happy when I couldn't, so he didn't divorce me and leave me a broken and damaged goods, single mother. She then told my dad she suffered from postpartum depression after my birth,

and my dad ignored it and her and made her feel alone, so she felt justified in hating me and to have affairs. She admitted to having multiple affairs from six months after I was born until New Year's Eve and said she'd still be doing it if I hadn't ruined anything. So, my 38 female sister and 34 female sister could not be my dad's either. My dad is even more heartbroken and angry, but we did have both our lawyers present and we got it. on record. My dad has already reached out to my siblings, but to nobody's surprise, I guess my 38 female sister already knew it was a possibility because my mom told her about both affairs when the twins were born, and she knew they not might be my dad's and kept it from us. My dad is devastated by that

even more than losing his relationship with my mom. I'm not sure the relationship will ever recover. I genuinely have no clue what is wrong with my 38 female sister. My 34 female sister doesn't want a paternity test and said our dad will always be her dad. My dad is fine with that. I sent a message to my ex through my lawyer that I will be filing in order of protection tomorrow so that my kids won't have to go to my ex's house if my mother is there. neither one has even attempted to find new housing either. So I guess she's planning to move into my ex-in-law's house?

I really don't want my kids around that mess. He has yet to respond, but at this point, I really don't care what he wants. P.S., my family knows about the social media post, as do the lawyers. But my ex and egg donor have zero chance of a good outcome in the divorce, so I'm going to be petty and enjoy their anger about being exposed so I'm leaving it up. They can stew in their filth and know that not only does our town think they're terrible, so does the world. And I have permission from my younger sister to share

what happened last night. I don't really care what my 38 female sister thinks. And now let's get into the final update the OP has for us. And the update reads, hello, thank you to everyone who has sent me chats and messages supporting me and asking how I'm doing. I do have an update. Number one, I gave birth to my son in the beginning of April. He is healthy, and I had no health complications. Two, at the end of March, I was able to get temporary, full physical, and legal custody of my kids. Number three, my daughter asked me if I'd be willing to do family therapy with her and her dad. I did not want to do it. I fought it. But eventually I chose to do so for the sake of my daughter and her need to process everything and hopefully move on. Number four, I learned a lot more

about the relationship between my ex and my egg donor due to homework the therapist gave us. My ex did reveal more things which I believed to be true. Number one, my mom had actually tried to seduce him well before we were of age. From my ex's recollection, when my egg donor took over the youth group, I was mid-teenage years, and he was a few months from turning mid-teenage years, and the manipulation began then. She'd counsel him privately because he needed it. They kissed at some point until he was still very young, and that was all they did, meaning they'd make, out during these sessions until he turned 18. It was right around the time of the first kiss that my mom convinced him to ask me out and date me so they could keep seeing each other

without suspicion. That is legit just beyond messed up. At this revelation, I was both devastated, my entire relationship was built on a lie and my husband never loved me, and also a sense of relief knowing that I had absolutely nothing to do with their affair. The reason I believe this is true is that when he asked me out, I had to get permission from my parents to date. At the time, the rule was no one could date before age 16. My mom went to bat for me, or so I thought. We started dating right after he turned mid-teenage years. The timeline adds up.

Edit, my dad is currently looking into potential other cases of abuse and manipulation right now with the help of the church officials. Nothing has turned up. And truthfully, while I hate my egg donor, I find it hard to believe she'd have the stamina to carry on multiple affairs with other guys. I think she seduced him knowing I liked him and wanted to feel superiority over me. Looking back, all of this makes sense. Her treatment of me and my children in relationship to her other grandkids. I think all of this was a seriously effed up case of her being narcissistic and punishing me for ruining her life. Number two, they did not have full intimacy until he turned 18, and I guess that was his birthday present from her.

Number three, my 22 female and 20 male children are still not speaking to him, which he has come to grips with, and understands the likely never reestablish contact with him. Number four, the twins and I have fully reconciled. Now for the egg donor. After the last phone call with my aunt, I cut off contact with her and my grandmother. I was tired of my aunt trying to guilt trip me into talking to my egg donor. My grandma is a whole other problem and is beginning to show signs of dementia and senility. She is still harassing my egg donor and calling her a horrible woman, which I'm okay with. But the other stuff she's doing and saying is not something I want to add to my life of stress.

my 34 female and 42 female sister were the ones who helped me with labor and delivery plan my ex knew what the plans were but also that i did not want him at the hospital until i had already given birth and was in a better place for him to meet his son he agreed to this the day i went into labor my sister took my children to her home while my 42 female sister was with me in the room apparently my child is needed something from the school, and reached out to my ex to pick it up as he was still on the official pickup list. He no longer is. And drop it off at my sister's house. My egg donor was with him when he took the call. He refused to let her come along, as I did not want my children around my egg donor. She apparently followed him in her car to the store, and then my sister's house and threw a temper tantrum on the front lawn of my sister's house. My ex broke, broke up with her and told her she was too much drama and it just wasn't worth it anymore

and she flew into a rage and physically attacked him and started destroying things in my sister's yard the cops were called my egg donor was arrested for domestic violence at that point my ex my sister and i all took out orders of protection against her due to the instability and the situation My ex moved into an apartment close to the HVAC company. My daughter has decided not to forgive him and told him that she didn't want to be around him currently. So only my youngest child visits my ex. He comes to my dad's house and visits her one weeknight and one weekend evening when I take my other kids and twin brothers out for dinner.

We've established contact through a custody app and will be revisiting the custody issue June. I will be pursuing full legal and physical custody until my ex can prove to me he's done the necessary therapy and treatment he needs. I still hate my ex with everything in my being for what he did to me from the time I was young until recently, but I hate my egg donor far more for what she did to us all. I do have some sympathy for him and I truly want him to be okay for the sake of my kids. Edited, yes, he has met his newborn son. He met him the night I gave birth. I also allowed his in-laws and brothers to meet him as well.

His in-laws and I are currently setting up plans for the youngest children to have time with them as well as they can come visit my newborn. My ex is allowed supervised visitation at this point, not a court-ordered visitation. but my wishes which he is adhering to as he does his therapy and rehab, and he gets regular time with the five-year-old. He does get access to her newborn at least once a week, if he comes with his parents, if he wishes. He's seen his son at least six times since I gave birth and three in my presence. We are slowly rebuilding civilized communication. As for the other divorce proceedings, he's agreed to a mediated, uncontested divorce, and I'll be getting half of everything, including the business.

I'm choosing to sell my shares to one of my ex's workers who will likely become a partner. The ex is happy with this, and I'll be happy to be completely rid of any ties to my ex. My dad was able to sell my old house. It didn't even get listed as a realtor knew a family looking, and I have begun looking for houses about 45 minutes away from my dad. As for the egg donor, she has gone. into hiding. Once the twins told her, unequivocally, they'd never live with her, and that they wanted nothing to do with her, especially after how she got arrested, she began a whole lot of guilt

tripping and blaming them. She is now contesting the divorce from my dad and only speaking to him through her lawyer. As for my 38 female sister, she got a wake-up call from this whole thing when my mother called her and berated her for 45 minutes for not bailing her out of jail. Apparently, my 38 female sister has been going through fertility issues. Like I said, I don't talk to her and had no idea. And she's been stressed out and anxious and feeling bad about herself, which is why she let our egg donor manipulate her because she felt good about herself when she was getting all the positive attention,

when she wasn't willing to pay the money to bail her out, as she and her partner were saving up for another cycle of IVF. She realized that she was being manipulated and reached out to me. We have begun slowly talking again, but she is on my side regarding this all. She is also talking to my dad again, which for his sake, I'm happy that he is able to reconnect with her.

Having my son, by the way, we did the DNA test a few weeks before his birth, he is definitely my exes. Has been a pleasure and joy, and he and my other kids and my support system of my dad and siblings has gone me through this and will continue to do so.

I am hopeful that at some point I will be able to deal with my ex without anger and bitterness, seeing as he has trauma from what my egg donor did to him. I'll be okay. Like I said, this will be my last update on this.

so thank you all for the kindness, love, and support. And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says, O.P. sounds like she's showing a lot of grace during an absolutely horrific situation. I'm glad she has supportive family and friends around her. And someone else says, what a cluster F all around. and I agree this whole situation

is beyond messed up and it is just downright horrible and like the OPE said this is their final update so hopefully they're doing well and good now. Hopefully her newborn son is doing well and all of her other kids and family

but yeah what a horrible and horrific situation and I really hope that the O.P. is doing better now. My 29 female boyfriend who was 25 male admitted that he forced himself on a woman several years ago

I'm going to preface this post with a disclaimer it contains our word if you find it distressing to read about this kind of topic I urge you to stop reading now I've been with my boyfriend Jason for about a year now Jason is the first boyfriend I've had who puts real effort into truly listening and understanding me. He can listen quietly as I describe a list of events from start to finish,

while he only back channels and then in the end expresses nothing but sympathy or helpful commentary. When I'm facing a tough decision, he asks helpful questions which help guide me in the right direction. When I'm in trouble, without a second of a thought he is the first person I call. He is a dream come true. My parents love him. My sisters love him. My friends love him.

The only person who ever disliked him was a male friend of mine, completely platonic, who said he gave him the creeps. I have since fallen out with this male friend for tangently related reasons. Also, he was just kind of a dude. giant D-head, so I don't think he had any sort of sixth sense. He just never had a nice thing to say about anyone but himself. Anyway, two nights ago, Jason and I were discussing our first real

crushes. It was innocent enough topic as being completely devoted to each other. We have grown well past any jealousy issues in our relationship. I went first, talking about a boy I knew in college who ultimately broke my heart. When it was Jason's turn, I realized it wasn't a silly rom-com like mine. It was a effing horror story. He called it a dumb misunderstanding. He described stealing a pair of her underwear. He called it a drunken mistake.

He described pushing up against her and touching her butt without her consent at a party. He called it one stupid night. She was completely drunk in her bed. He climbed in. He unclothed her. She was half asleep. He did the deed. The way he tells it, it wasn't even intimacy.

It was one person acting on a victim. His retelling of the events ends with her crying and kicking him out. Never to talk again. I know he truly regrets it because the end of the story he was full on sobbing. He didn't deny a thing and said that yes, he had R-worded her, which led to him wanting to improve himself and learn how to respect women. He saw my reaction and asked if I thought he was a monster. I told him I needed space and left.

I didn't even pack anything. My sister picked me up and drove me. to the ride aid where I bought toiletries. My life has been torn apart because no matter how much I think it's over, I have no desire to talk to him. Hearing his voice would probably give me a panic attack. In a true Jason fashion, he has given me all the space I need, not contacting me once.

I've never been in a situation like this, The person I would normally turn to when my life was on the ropes just admitted he did something which, if convicted, would get him put in prison for several years. I can't talk to my sisters or family because if I do, they'll probably never let me within a mile of him again. Sorry, I think I'm just rambling now. I'm desperate for any ideas on how to proceed or anything. even if my relationship can proceed at this point. And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says, I am a victim of SA,

and my R-wordist got prison time, but is getting out soon. It's not oblivious to the fact he may go on to have a normal relationship one day. It's unfortunate because I am stuck with PTSD for the rest of my life. while he may be able to get out and have everything go back to normal. Some things for you to consider. Is it still in the Statue of Limitations? Could she one day report him?

Would you be willing to stay by his side? Has he been in therapy since? Our wording in a woman is one of the worst things you can do to her. Has he actually tried to better himself so it won't happen again? He admitted to you he already. forwarded someone while they were in one of the most vulnerable states. Can you live with that? He said it was at a party.

How many other people at that party know what happened? How do you feel knowing other people know what he did? If you ran into the girl one day, how would you feel knowing you're dating him? Would the argument he's been good to me still apply? I'm not saying people, don't change. I've forgiven my R-wardess, but it's something I will carry around with me for the rest of my life. This is much bigger than Reddit's pay grade, but I hope it helps

you think a little bit more about everything. And then someone replies and says, I'm glad this is the top comment. People can change and be rehabilitated, but is he? And if he is, can you live with it, what he's done? unfortunately you have to either be all in or all out. O.P., I think both of you should talk to a therapist. And someone else says, I've clicked on and off of this page because I feel very torn between saying something

and feeling like it would be too irresponsible for me to give you any real advice. You need to see a therapist as soon as possible. In my opinion, you don't need to speak with Jason until you talk to a professional. If you ever speak to him again, it may need to be on the grounds of only speaking to him in the presence of a therapist. Tall order, I know. And I want you to know there are amazing men out there who can't even stand our word scenes and movies and our great listeners and partners that will absolutely make you happy without you having to internalize.

a horrific moral conflict. Here's why I think the more neutral or forgiving comments in this thread are potentially dangerous. For one, they're tempting for you because you want to go back to the supposedly loving relationship you were enjoying a couple of days ago. But second, they very seriously undermine the real possibility that Jason has other faces that he does not present to you, but might do so eventually if he can successfully manipulate you. There is a real chance he might do you some harm one day. If not you, your sister, best friend, or maybe even a child. Women and girls are killed or are worded by someone they know

far more than by a stranger. And it happens because predators are just, the right amount of manipulative. It doesn't surprise me that the only one person in your life has ever gotten the creeps from him. It doesn't surprise me that he's often a voice of reason for you. I know it's tempting to empathize with him and to buy into his remorse and deny that he could be a monster now. But you don't have to sacrifice your moral compass to be in a happy relationship with someone. You don't have to risk your safety like this. Don't try to interpret the morality of his voluntary confession based on the comments in this thread.

That's not something I would try to unpack without professional help, because you're going to want to give him the benefit of the doubt. I'm so sorry, hon. I hope you feel comfortable enough to share this with someone close to you soon. And someone else says, R-word, murder, and being a predator are three past mistakes that are unforgivable and inexcusable.

If he really felt remorse, he would go and tell the police what he did. A arwardist crying about them, arwarding a woman, making themselves into the victim, is disgusting. That girl's story is so similar to mine that for a second I thought your boyfriend could easily be my arwardess, but then I checked his age and it didn't match.

You and your family love a facade. And the OP gives us an update about 10 days later, and let's get into it. The update reads, Hello again, everyone. It has now almost been two weeks since my boyfriend admitted he committed one of the most despicable acts possible against another human being. Trigger warning, R-word essay, and violence. If these topics hurt you in any way, please stop reading now.

The whole situation still feels surreal. I have gone from being angry at him to being angry at myself. I have written long texts to him and then deleted them completely. I've gone through stages of denial where I thought that Jason being such a good guy may not have actually done anything wrong. Maybe a woman gaslighted him into feeling that he had committed a crime when she consented at the time. Then I realized that everyone who commented on my last post hit the nail squarely on the head.

He didn't go to the police to turn himself in for what he did if he truly felt remorse. That is what he would have done. His charm and natural understanding of women's problems were complete bruises. Many people with sociopathic tendencies are great with people. Most of all, he gets to cry and move on with his life. He gets to love another woman again. His victim, I can't even fathom what she's going through. I finally called him two nights ago.

He wanted to talk about how he could mend our relationship. But after two weeks of not hearing his voice and being scared of how I may run back into him, it hit me like a truck. I don't love him anymore. I told him that I wanted him to vacate his apartment for three hours while I gathered my belongings. He said he would do so. I ended the call by telling him that if he felt any remorse, he would go to the police and accept all charges for what he did, not contest them in court, and take his punishment. He started talking about how that wouldn't bring justice to his victim.

Then he said that he loved me. Twisted F word. I showed up the next morning at the decided time with my sister. He was nowhere to be seen. I'm confident he won't contact me again. Thank you all so much for helping me through this. I'm going to find a therapist as soon as possible. Edit, I apologize for editing the post,

but after receiving a couple of private messages asking me to drop his personal information, I must make one thing clear. I will not, under any circumstances, post any identifying information about him. It is not only against site-wide rules, but if I were reckless enough to do that, he could sue me. Again, I repeat, nobody is getting his information. He is a monster. He probably deserves worse, but it will not be coming from me.

And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says, our word isn't a mistake. It's a deliberate torture that ruins lives. This guy's assaults kept escalating up to the R-word. He had many chances to stop harassing his victim before he irreversibly damaged her psyche. I'm proud you laughed. I can't imagine a self-respecting person

continuing the relationship with a R-word. And someone else just says, I respect you. And the O.P. replies and says, thank you, but I don't want to act like this was a hard decision to make. My mind was made up and other than short periods of self-denial, I knew it was over. He's a monster through and through. O.P. overhears his wife telling her friend that her ex-boyfriend, who manipulated and abused her, and also threatened to kill O.P. is back in town.

Wife is also in contact with the ex and believes he has changed. And let's get into the post. I wasn't spying. I was cutting the grass and stopped to have a drink. She was on the phone and I overheard her. Basically, her ex is back in town. He tried adding her on Facebook and she accepted. She'd been talking to him and feels he's changed.

He wants to meet up to apologize for all the horrible things he has done to her. She thinks he's sincere and is happy to forgive. Her ex-boyfriend is a genuine, crazy monster. She had a restraining order against him after I convinced her. We were all afraid he might end up murdering us. We were scared that he would. He was that much of a monster. Have I mentioned how abusive he was to her?

This was nine years ago. We haven't heard from him since, and I have forgotten about him. I confronted her about this and voiced how concerned I was. Honestly, I told her I felt it was a betrayal. and she should be open with me. This isn't some old flame. This is a guy who threatened to murder us. He told her that he'd absolutely murder me to show he truly loves her.

She acts as if it's no big deal. She's more upset I spied on her, and she claims he's changed and isn't a monster anymore. Yeah, sure. Once a monster, always a monster. I refuse to believe he's reformed, not one bit. If he's reformed, he'd stay away from her and cut off all contact. She admits she wasn't going to tell me.

She didn't want to add to my stress, and it doesn't involve me. He was the abusive to her, not me. I barely even met him. She dated him for years. This is closure for her. Not me. I don't really know what to do. I do not believe he has good intentions.

I do believe there is a good possibility. He may wish to do something to me or her. I can't really find out. I don't have Facebook and his is private. How can I convince her that this is a, a very bad idea. How can I tell her that I'm not controlling and that this affects me too? And let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says no, just no. She does not need to meet up with him for any reason. She should unfriend him immediately. Nine years of no contact is all the

closure he needs. And the O.P. responds and says, that's what I said. Why would she want contact with the guy who did so much damage? Guy is at least mid-40s now. Why would she even want to talk to him? He manipulated her at an early age. They met when she was a young teenager. The moment she was legal, it was game on, and he took over her life. Another user says, I am sorry, but your spouse is being naive, insensitive, and reckless. Please go to the police station ASAP with a copy of the old restraining order and talk to an officer about what is going on between your wife and her ex. Get the officer's card and advice.

There is absolutely no reason for her to meet up with him. The fact that she was willing to withhold this information from you clearly demonstrates that her ex still has control over her and that is what he wants. I would let her know in no uncertain terms right away that the choices you both make affect you as a couple and if she engages her ex in any way, you will never be able to trust her to have your family's safety and best interest at heart. If her ex wanted to see your child, would she oblige that too and not tell you? you? The choice is hers. Number one, appease her abusive ex, assuge his feelings, and risk

losing everything you have accomplished together, sneaking away from your home to honor her ex's demands, or number two, block all lines of communication with her ex and commit to honoring her marriage vows and personal safety. You have some hard decisions to make, too, because she has a trauma bond with him that allows him to manipulate and access her and that makes this triangle dangerous for your life and future. Check to see if she has a new insurance policy on you. She can't love and respect you well because she does not love herself or really know what love is at this point. If you don't adamantly put your foot down on this and be willing to walk away, she will never respect you. And another commenter says,

not sure what to tell you to do here, but I empathize with you. It takes a lot of time and effort to distance yourself from a psychopath. Getting back in contact is like erasing those nine years of progress. The fact that your wife intended to hide this from you and was even considering meeting up with him absolutely indicates that he still has a grip on her and is influencing her thoughts and actions. I feel like an ultimatum is an order here,

although the outcome will be dramatic either way. And the OPE he responds and says, that scares me, because he absolutely would have murdered her. Hell, even if she didn't break up, he still would have killed her eventually. He awarded numerous times and once so hard it sent her to the ER.

I begged her, pleaded with her, to go to the police and see him locked up. She wouldn't. All she would do was a restraining order. And then someone replies to the O.P. here and says, this is a situation that is beyond your control. And for your safety of you and your kids,

I think dramatic action is warranted. If it were me, I would say caught off all contact or were getting divorced. And then the OPE comes back with an update two weeks later, and the update reads as follows. It's been a wild two weeks. I didn't have much of an update, but I knew this wasn't going to end well. I got a text from her sister warning me about it. She was begging me to stop her from doing this.

So I did something really stupid. I broke into her Facebook. My fears were confirmed she'd been talking to him for a good while. Most of it was on an alt accounts he made, but she finally conceded maybe he was genuine. She said she thought about him and thinks they were young and made stupid mistakes. He claims it was just because he was not mature and never meant any of the terrible things he did.

B-S They're going to meet up at a cafe Have a few drinks and talk They were flirting I didn't confront her I wish I did but I didn't know what else to do Wednesday of last week

She said she was visiting a friend for dinner And wasn't going to be home I wasn't dumb I told her if she's going to meet her ex Don't bother coming home She told me I was just being paranoid. Again, BS. After much stewing, I decided no.

I can't trust her. I go to meet up with them. Surprise, she's with him and they aren't just talking. They're being really intimate. I can tell she was flirting. I'd just lay it out. I made a fool myself and effed myself over. I confronted them and told her we were leaving.

I made a big scene. She was mortified and enraged when she learned I broke into her Facebook. In the end, I left alone after the manager threatened to call the police. She didn't come home that night. She came home in the morning and didn't say a word. Just threw her ring at me and packed her bags and took the kids. Don't contact her ever again without a lawyer present. She's going to file a restraining order against me.

She's staying with him now. It's over. And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says, get a lawyer and file for temporary full custody as she is exposing your kids to a person who made a verified attempt on murdering. you. And someone else replies and says, yes, make sure the lawyer gets any criminal records of the guys. My mom had an abusive boyfriend when I was a kid. And watching a parent get beaten up when you're so little is not something I'd wish on anybody, even if they don't hurt you. Witnessing abuse

as a child is traumatic. And someone else says when she tries to come back, tell her to go F herself. The end. and someone replies and says, and we all know she will. Another person says, the trash just took itself out. It hurts now, but there's nothing you could have done differently. Your only role is to try to find peace and move forward in a healthy way. And the O.P. replies and says,

she's not well. Her ex is abusive and has been manipulating her since she was very young. And another user says, I was correct on my previous post. Most abused go back to their abuser. But the story repeats itself. The guy will abuse your soon-to-be ex-wife again. That's a fact. It will happen and nobody can stop it.

You have to consult a lawyer now and get your kids out of there. She's not a safe partner. She never was. All the best. and this is the last we have ever heard from the OP. And I mean, it's insane how like short this threat is. Like in total it's like six paragraphs. The first, you know, post that the OP made and then the update.

And this OP's life just unraveled so fast. It's just terrifying. That's how quickly, you know, your life can just spiral out of control. I mean, one moment, the O.P. is in love with his wife, has kids, safe, whatever. And the next, he's worrying about, you know, his wife going to this ex-abuser who threatened to kill them both. And then she ends up doing it. And she comes back after possibly staying the night with him and throws her ring at him, says, don't contact me ever again.

She took all her stuff, took the kids, and the O.P. is just left alone in his house. I mean, like that final line of what the O.P said, the O.P said, she's staying with him now. It's over. I mean, like, that is just so...

I don't even know what the word is. It's just so depressing because this O.P.'s life was just unraveled. and there's nothing he could do about it. And it wasn't his fault. The OP did absolutely nothing wrong here. He was trying to hold his family together. He loved his wife.

He loves his kids. And this abuser comes in and basically steals his wife back. And we have never received another update. And so all we can do is just hope the best for the OP. I mean, wherever you are, OP, I hope you're doing better now. I mean, this was five years ago, so, you know, this has probably worked itself out, but, you know, this is just truly so depressing.

And I hope you're doing better now if you're somehow watching this. But, man, that was just a shocking and sad, sad Reddit thread. OPE spends five years believing her best friend tried to award her. The truth is much more disgusting. So the title kind of says it all. And this is a bit to unpack, so sorry if the post is kind of long. The details all seem relevant, though, and I'm kind of rambling since a bomb was dropped on me today that I just don't know how to handle,

and I need some advice. Trigger warning, SA. Five years ago, when I was 23, I had been working with a company that handled hospitality training and stuff like that. What we did really wasn't important. But at that point, I'd been dealing with the company for about three years already. Mark had gotten hired around the same time as I had, and we did a lot of training and stuff together. We got put in the same call center group and all around just became extremely close friends

that hung out after work since we lived close to each other and we were both unattached. To point out how close we had gotten, since we were both single folks in the company, and our department always made jokes that we needed to just say screw the company policy and start dating. We always laughed it off because at the end of the day, we both made it abundantly clear to each other that we only saw each other as friends. For what it's worth, I don't remember how the conversation came up, but it had, and it was just a strictly platonic relationship. So yeah, we were basically attached at the hip for about two and a half years when I met Paul. At the time, 29 male and currently 34 male and began dating him.

Paul and Mark got along somewhat fine at first, but a few months into dating Paul. started to get upset if I said I was going to grab dinner with Mark after work, even if Paul was working at the time since he had his own long hours. For what it was worth, Mark seemed to understand where Paul was coming from and only grabbed dinner with me when I asked him, never pumped it himself. Well, on my 24th birthday, I decided to throw a party at my apartment, and when Paul flaked on helping me get supplies, Mark stepped in and helped me.

Even going out and buying the lion's share of the booze for the party. The party got going and Paul ended up showing up an hour after most of the others were there. After a few hours, most of the people started heading out, leaving a few people sleeping in the living room because they were too drunk to drive and then Mark, Paul, and myself. Mark insisted, I go lay down since there's my birthday. birthday and he knew I was already pretty drunk myself, so it wasn't right for me to clean up after my own party. So I said good night to everyone, and Paul helped me back to my room.

Like I said, I was pretty drunk, and while I remember the night, I also remember being very off my normal composure. He put me in bed on my side, facing the wall, and then left, and I pretty quickly dozed off. Trigger warning now, skip this next part if you don't want the bad details, but it's the only way I've been able to even sort of come to terms with all of it after my time in therapy. The next thing I remember is loud music blaring in the room and feeling completely bound. I was still inebriated, but as I tried to move around, I could feel I was tied to the bed and could feel something. someone on top of me. I was laying on my stomach, and there was a hand on the back of my head pushing it into the pillow, so I couldn't see anything, and I could feel someone stumbling to try and pull my pajamas down, and shoving his hand against me. Someone was pounding it at the door

until I heard a loud crack, and then Mark and Paul's voices arguing. The pressure pulled off my head and I could see the one of them pulling the other way, but in the darkness, I couldn't tell who was doing what, but there was a lot of screaming and crashing. A few minutes later, Paul comes back in the room and unties me from the bed and just holds me. Telling me, Mark had been trying to Rward me. I wanted to file a police report, but Paul convinced me not to, since he had gotten there in time and quote nothing had happened which I should have taken as a red flag but I just didn't at the time because I was so relieved that I had been saved

I took a few days off from work blocked Mark on all social media but not before he texted me trying to tell me that Paul had been the one to attack me and that he was the one that saved me I didn't believe him because it had been Paul that came in and untied me me and if Paul had been trying, then why would he do that? Plus, if we were dating and it just didn't make any sense to me, so I thought Mark had just snapped or something.

I ended up quitting from the company before my time off ended because I had been starting to look at advancement in my career and moving on, so I just decided that was my sign and tried to run away from it all. Paul and I kept dating for about six months after that until I caught a lot. him cheating on me with a lady from his office. Maybe this should have been a bigger red flag to me too, but I had been trying to distance myself from what had happened. Then life went on. I got comfortable in my new job, stayed away from getting too friendly with anyone from work, and have never had a close guy friend again. Occasionally, I'd see Mark at the grocery store or around

town. Like I said, we had lived closer to each other, and neither of us moved and I never felt the need to, since he kept his distance from me completely. And I thought I was mostly over what happened half a decade ago, until I get a notification a few hours ago that Paul had messaged me. I thought that was odd because I had blocked him. He made a new account. But I opened the message up anyway because of curiosity. I don't want to share the whole message because there's a lot of personal details in it. So I'm going to just hit the important details. So according to him, Paul is an alcoholic and has been for years. Even back when we first started dating, he pretty much was always drinking something or looking for an excuse. He got fired from his job

for showing up to work drunk and assaulting the receptionist by trying to force his tongue down her throat in the front lobby at 9 a.m. He was in court-mandated AA, and as part of his recovery, he was trying to make ams with anyone he has wronged because of his habit. And finally, Mark never tried to Rward me. It was him. He had been jealous of my friendship with Mark and saw an opportunity to get him out of the picture because of how gullible I was. His words.

I'm not gonna lie. I threw up after reading the whole thing. He had so much detail behind all of it that I just felt sick to my stomach that he not only remembered everything from how he had secretly put ties on my body. my bed before I even went to sleep once he saw how drunk I was getting to how he beat the crap out of Mark and threatened to kill him if he went to the cops. I know it's not a healthy reaction,

but I've been drinking a bit since all of that messages hit my inbox trying to decide what to do. I know I need to call my therapist to talk about all of this, but my mind keeps going back to Mark and how betrayed he must have felt over at all. I even unblocked him on all my social media. He never blocked me, so his profiles popped back up pretty quickly. And I've been trying to decide if I should message him or not. I know logically that Paul should be the one messaging him as a part of his AA stuff, but I'm also pretty sure that Mark did block him since Paul mentioned not being able to find him on social media.

but he also might not have remembered Mark's last name either, so it might be hard to find him. So, I guess my question is, should I message Mark? What would I even say? Sorry, I didn't believe you when you said you didn't try to arward me? Short update slash edit. A close friend of mine answered her phone and is swinging by to spend the night with me here, just so I have a shoulder to cry on, because I could just use a good cry right now.

I'm going to leave Mark alone for now, while I get my thoughts in order, but I'll probably send him a message in a few days once I can talk to my therapist. I did put the wine away. It's not helpful right now, and I don't want to make the wrong decision and message Mark strictly on a somewhat drunk impulse.

And now let's get into some of the top comments. One user says, yes, you should message him because that has to be an open wound for him that never healed. If he came in to try to stop Paul and ended up being the bad guy when he was actually the good guy is a punch of the gut. And never being believed about it is a constant pain that never really goes away. Good luck, that Paul guy.

Glad he isn't part of your life anymore. Wow. And the OPEE responds and says, this is exactly why my mind has been going to Mark, because I feel so incredibly guilty. I've been sort of, I guess, cyber-stalking him a bit here and there, and it seems like he's had an okay life,

but I just feel like I owe him some sort of message now. And another commenter says, all I'll say is that you shouldn't be surprised if Mark wants nothing to do with you after you tarnished his name and kind of his soul in a way. I'll bet that because of this, there's more than a couple of people that think of him as Mark the Rwardest, not just Mark. I hope you learned that you shouldn't believe the first story you're told when someone else's life is in the crosshairs of your poorly informed decisions. Y'all can get mad. at that if you want, but this isn't a time to coddle anybody's feelings to avoid speaking

and uncomfortable truth. There can be two sides of an argument without anybody needing to go to call their therapist because they got triggered over an ounce of opposition. I'm sorry any of this happened to you at all. That should have never happened. But what happened to him is even worse and at the end of the day, you are the villain of his story. And the OP responds and says, Well, I completely understand that might be Mark's reaction, and it is totally understandable if it is, I want to make it clear that I didn't ever go around calling him that

or outright telling anyone, even though my first instinct was to file a police report. Paul had stopped me when I had brought it up and in hindsight, it's probably because the investigation might have revealed it was him, but I never told the company I was quitting because of Mark or anything like that, and only a handful of my close friends and I, and my therapist, even know of the assault. While that doesn't stop gossip, which may be what you're referring to, I didn't actively go out on the streets screaming Mark was a arwardess. I'm also not saying I expect to even want to be close friends with him again.

And maybe now this is just my own selfish guilt that is telling me I need to tell him. But as other commenters have mentioned and I'm taking the advice of, it's better for me to process this new information and talk to my therapist first. and the OP gives us an update the following morning, which reads as follows. I went to bed last night after putting the wine away. When my friend got here and woke up to so many comments and PMs that I can't quite give it back to everyone without being repetitive. So I want to just answer a few common things I've been messaged or seen.

In a comment I mentioned I have told a handful of friends, To be specific, I told three plus my therapist. I didn't have a whole lot of close friends back then and wasn't a part of a big friend group either. That said, one of those three were here with me last night after I got a hold of her, and she's every bit of disgusted as pretty much everyone else. I can't say for sure if any of them told anyone, and honestly, given the passing of time, I wouldn't expect them to have the same crystal clear image of who they might have told, but I do understand this might have spread without me knowing.

I am looking into statute of limitations in reporting in my state here. From everything I've read over coffee this morning, I believe it hasn't passed and as several have mentioned, he literally gave me a written confession. As for how I didn't realize Paul was an alcoholic, Well, I don't have a good answer for that. I'm going mostly based on his message that told me he was always drinking, even back then. We weren't living together, and as I mentioned, there were plenty of days that I didn't see him versus when I did,

and I don't even know now if he was even working late all the times he told me he was. I have texted my therapist and I'm waiting for a reply now. I'm hopeful she has some time this afternoon or tomorrow that I can speak with her, but my friend is staying with me until I can speak with her just so that I don't have to be alone right now, and I can't say just how much I appreciate it. To those of you that I have provided advice or shared your stories with me, thank you, deeply, from the bottom of my heart. Thank you.

Last night when I received that message, I was thrown for such a loop that I didn't know where to begin or how to unpack it all given the time that had passed. Old wounds can be reopened so easily, and this one was a scar that didn't need much to make it pop. And then we got an update a little while later, and let's get into it. First off, I want to thank everyone who messaged me to check up on me or to share their own stories with me. I truly appreciate each and every one of you. I would like to start this off by first saying I haven't gone back to the wine, though I did super desperately want to yesterday.

I haven't really been much of a drinker since that night five years ago, and last week when I learned, the disgusting truth about Paul. To those, if you're hoping, I would file a police report. I did. I spoke with my therapist at length the Monday following my post, and she was shocked but extremely helpful in helping me process everything. And she spent some time last,

what should have been the end of our video appointment, looking up the Statue of Limitation Laws in my state. there are none for the type of crimes he did. And while she warned me that my report might just be added to a pile of other charges Paul could possibly have against him, given that he was assigned court-mandated AA. All the same, I filed the report with screenshots of his messages to me printed and attached. I'm not sure what to expect from that, and at the end of the day, I hope he has an absolutely horrible life, if it goes nowhere. Now, as for Mark, my therapist was incessant that I, at the very least,

write him something, whether it be a letter to mail him or a message on Facebook. He never reached out to me after I unblocked him, but given what he thought I thought of him, I think it's understandable. She, like many of you, pointed out, that while he knew he was innocent, the thought of someone believing him capable of something monstrous like that, could have weighed on him for all this time, and even if his reception of my message wasn't ideal, he deserved at least the closure that this new turn of events could provide. I took a few days writing and rewriting a message in notepad. I didn't want to accidentally hit send before I had the wording right.

and each time I sat down to write it, I felt like I came up short, even though the message just got longer and longer. Again, I didn't think just saying, oh guess what I learned Paul's an absolute psychopath last week, surprise, would have been super appropriate either. But I wanted to find the right balance. So here is the message I ended up sending him. Quote, Hi Mark, so this is a bit out of the blue, and I really don't know how to start this, so I'm just going to put it out there. I'm sorry for not listening to you. Paul messaged me last week and revealed everything, and I'm just sorry.

This isn't easy to write, and you deserve so much more than just an apology so long after the fact. There's no excuse for me not giving you the best. benefit of the doubt other than I let myself be stupidly gaslit by a psychopathic maniac. And then a screenshot of his confession to me, this is the message he sent me. It even confesses to an assault on you in the event that you'd like to press charges against him as I have already filed a police report for what he did to me. If you would like to talk about any of this at all, my inbox is open. If you want to tell me to F off, well, I guess I understand that too.

I'm not sure what I expect really because this has ripped open a wound I would have been trying to heal. And I'm sure this might cause you some distress, but I felt you, at the very least, deserve to know. I know I probably could have said more, but anytime I kept trying to write, I felt like it was just me making excuses. I sent that to him this past Friday, and I'm pretty sure he read it sometime between Friday and Saturday as the red notification had been there

when I checked Facebook again at lunch on Saturday. I had been out with my friend Jenny, who had stayed over with me after I learned the truth, and when I told her I had messaged Mark, she wondered if he had responded, so I checked. Last night, at around 6 p.m., my phone dinged, and while I thought it might have been a text from Jenny or maybe my mom, I don't really text or talk to a lot of people,

I actually found that Mark had sent me a reply. Quote, I wish you would have listened to me back then, but I'm glad you know the truth. I thought that was all he was going to send me when the three dots kept going across the bottom of my screen. He was still typing when he sent me pictures as well. They were graphic, and Paul's assertion that he had beat the crap out of Mark did in fact also come with document. to prove from him in the form of pictures. Mark went on to explain that he filed an assault report the next day after my birthday,

but that the police had warned him against accusing Paul of assaing me given the turn of events, and my don't speak to me again text I sent him when he tried to explain himself. Nothing had ever come of his police report, and he wasn't even sure. sure why. Neither am I, but he intended to follow up once more today. Mark is still very much the kind of person I remember him being, and while I was bracing for him to hold a grudge against me, he instead just expressed his happiness that I finally knew the truth. We exchanged small talk through chat for a while, but it was nowhere near the conversations we used to have. Mark has actually engaged to a girl he has been dating for about two years now.

He had apparently never brought any of this up to her until she saw my name flash in his screen with the notification and asked who I was. While some of you expressed concern that my friends had smeared his name, he apparently never heard anything of it. He actually still works for the same company we had both been at just now in a copyrighting role for the marketing team. So at the very least, the lack of a police report from me or making a scene at work worked out in his favor there.

I asked if we could keep in touch. Even if only with small talk and he said that, he thought it would be okay. Though he was a lot busier than he was back then between working and planning his wedding. While I thought that was going to be the end of it, he messaged me a few hours ago to let me know he refiled his police. police report with the added messages I had sent him and that if I'd be open to it, he'd like to meet for coffee with his fiancee in tow and a friend of mine if I felt more comfortable doing it that way. Not really sure if that's an entirely good idea, but I shot Jenny a text to see what she thinks and if she'd be open to coming with. She said it's ultimately up to me, what I decide

to do, and she'd be with me either way, so yeah. That's the update for those of you who have reached out and asked. And that is the last update we have ever received from the O.P. And all we are left wondering is if Paul ended up going to jail like he deserves. But like I said, we have never received any sort of other updates. So I wonder if Paul and the O.P went to court along with Mark and, you know, Paul went to jail or what happened? but we don't know. What do you guys think?

Am I overreacting? A little kid keeps coming into my house. I live out in the country, near a big main road and on a country road. I'm the closest property to the main road. But as you continue down, I have a couple of neighbors. We live on 40 acres

and have a little farmhouse, where I live with my husband and dogs, along with some farm animals outside. I do not have kids. We live a calm and peaceful life. However, there have now been two occasions on which a young child that lives a third of a mile down the road has come into our house uninvited. The first time I was home alone and had just showered, doing my nails and watching a shower, show in my makeup room. Next thing I know, I see a small shadow, looked like a preschool-aged kid, open my fence gate, and open my front door. I had no idea who this was, and I phacetimeed my husband

in case he knew who it was. But as we checked the cameras, there were no cars or other adults around. I was in my underwear, with my door closed and freaking out. Like I mentioned, I live out in the country, and due to my neighbors all being so far away, I had no idea who this kid was or where he came from. I put some pants on and went out into my living room. And this kid was running around my living room and kitchen, playing with my dogs without a care in the world.

I tried to get him to calm down and ask him what his name was or where his parents were. Nothing. He ignored me and kept playing. After a couple of minutes, I think he got bored. And he opened my door, went out of the gate and ran out to the back of my house. I lost sight of him and kept looking toward the main road in case I could figure out where he came from. Finally, I saw a young girl approaching from the neighbor's side of the road, and she shouted at me. Where is he? I told her I had no idea where he was, but that I had seen him

go towards the back of my house and she could go look for him. She looked annoyed, but I guess she was able to grab him at some point and took him back towards the direction to the neighbor's house. At that point, I was honestly super upset and yelled, Keep that kid out of my property and out of my house. She just yelled sorry over her shoulder. No one ever came back to apologize. My husband eventually went to the family to ask what happened and was told they had been unloading groceries

and the little boy had managed to run away. How they didn't realize this until so much later, I'm not sure. A year later, this little boy is still very young, and I get a call for my husband while we're at work. He tells me there's a little boy in our house and that he came in through our dog door. Immediately, I ask if it's the same one as last time. He says he saw them on our cameras but can't be sure. He tells me that before calling me.

He already called the cops. and they are on their way. The footage shows this kid opening our closed, fenced gate, and coming to our front door. Our dogs are barking at him in the yard. He attempts to open the front door, sees it's locked, knocks, and then just stands there thinking. Then he crawls in through our dog door. Our dogs can go in and out of the house as they like since their fence is closed in. But I guess this kid figured he could do the same.

He comes in, opens the dog door to make sure the dogs can come in too, takes off his shoes, jumps on my couch, and plays with my dogs. After that, he turns on my TV, goes into my fridge, grabs up, ice pops and eats an orange from our fruit basket. He's in our house unsupervised for about 15 minutes until the cops arrive and get him out. He crawled out through the dog door. The cops ask him his name and where his parents are. He tells them.

They tell him he is not allowed to do this, that it is not his house. A couple of minutes later, a carpool. pulls into my driveway. It's the parents. The cops talked to them for a bit and they all leave. My husband had left work to get home, but by the time he got there, everyone was gone. The cops basically just said it was a kid being a kid. My husband then went down to talk to the neighbors and told the parents to take care of their kid. I was upset because he didn't wait for me to go talk to him. He knew how upset I was. The dad apologized and said the boy had been grounded and snuck out through his open bedroom window. Apparently, he likes to just play with my dogs.

The dad told the little boy to apologize to my husband, at which point the boy spit at his dad. A week later, my husband got a call from the parents asking if, by chance, This kid was in our house again because they could not find him. We were both at work and didn't see him on any of our cameras. At this point, I've calmed down quite a bit. But as soon as I think about it, I get mad again. I think it's insanely upsetting that I'm more aware of where this little boy is than his own parents are. Once again, he is not right next door to me.

He had to be unsupervised for at least 30 minutes to make his way to my house, about a five-minute walk. Be here for 15 minutes and have the cops arrive before his parents found him. He knows what he's doing. The parents are aware, but no one truly takes accountability for it. The little boy says he likes to play with my dogs, but instead of playing with them and my yard, he comes into my home and makes himself at home. I feel bad for calling the cops, but I truly feel there's a need to report this because I'm scared for my safety and that of my animals and property.

If he were to leave the gate open, my dogs could run into the main road and get run over. My house is not childproofed at all. We had a flame thrower on the kitchen table the day he came in. My husband had killed a spider outside with it. I am concerned for this little boy's safety, but at the same time, I do not want to be responsible or liable if anything were to happen to him on our property. I also want to feel safe in my own home. I don't feel like I should have to keep my dogs in a kennel all day,

and close their doggy door just because there is a kid out there who is not monitored and has never been taught to respect people's privacy. If he snuck out through his window, I'm sure he could sneak in through one as well. There are so many what-ifs in this situation, and maybe it's just my anxiety, but I am definitely upset. I guess this is more of a rant, and I just hope this doesn't doesn't happen again because I do intend to have the cops on speed dial but again am I overreacting and on this thread the OP links a picture of what she saw through the doggy door and as you can see look at this little kid crawling through her doggy door and honestly that is very unsettling. and honestly scary.

I mean, especially the first time around, like the OP just got out of the shower and imagine like a little kid runs through your house that you've never seen before. Like that is like stuff of nightmares. Like I just got goosebumps saying that because like I'm imagining like in the room next to me, I just see like a little kid run by.

And I mean, just the thought of that is terrifying but also not to mention how terrifying it is that the little kids' parents aren't, watching this little boy at all. I mean, this poor kid who is very, very young, is able to just wander out, disappear for like almost an hour, and his parents just like don't know where he is. Like that is super concerning and hopefully this little boy is okay. But now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says, this is insane. Your home is supposed to be your sanctuary. and it can't be if you're always anxious, some strange child is going to break in.

And the OP responds and says, Thank you. That's exactly how I feel. Is he a threat? Not really. Should he be there? Absolutely not. And someone else says,

you're not overreacting. A child that small should not be able to get that far. and you could literally be anyone. This is a huge safety issue for the child, and it is very strange how comfortable the child is with it and really shows an amount of neglectful parenting that is not a recent thing. Sure, the cop was right that the child wasn't in danger,

but the child is being repeatedly allowed to put themselves in danger. Like someone else said, report to CPS. They don't always do their job well, but if people don't report incidents like these, they don't even have a chance. And then the OP gave us an update two days later, and let's get into it. The post reads, I was able to look through a lot of the comments on this post, and I was able to respond to some, but I did want to say a few things. I commented on the original post, but I was not able to edit. Thank you to all that have provided helpful advice and suggestions. To those that think this is funny, I really do wish I could have a sense of humor about it,

but I'm unfortunately stuck being frustrated and stressed. And to those who think it is fake, I wish I could make this up. Given this situation has occurred more than once at this point, I do feel like calling the cops was the right call and we will do it if this happens again or if I see him on the property unsupervised. I do not want this boy to get hurt. Go into the property of someone who does not care that it is just a boy

and get hurt, etc. A lot of the comments made sure to let me know of our liability if something were to happen on our property and I want to make sure there is a record of this. I unfortunately did not call the cops when this happened the first time since it was such a random incident. A lot of people suggested he could be autistic or neurodivergent. I understand it could seem that way,

but I don't think it's correct to just assume or diagnose him based on a post. Regardless, I think for me it goes back to the parenting. If the parents were aware that his running away slash hiding slash etc. was a problem, I think the most responsible thing to do would have been to let us know and address this. So it did not catch us by surprise. Neurodivergent or not, what he is doing is not okay or safe. We will definitely be putting a lock on our gate and we'll look into getting our dogs some sort of chip slash collar sensor dog door,

so they can continue to go in and out, but also lock that way in. I really hope the family ups their security in their home as well. While these are the only times we have had a problem with their boy, we have unfortunately also had issues with their animals coming onto the property.

Their horses would break free of their enclosure and come onto ours and eat our hay. I get it. They are animals, but from the looks of it, they were very hungry, and this happened more than once. The owners never really took any responsibility for it. Secondly, we had recorded incidents of their big dogs coming onto our property and attacking our farm animals. They would let their dogs loose and they killed a couple of our chickens and some baby sheep as well. We did contact them on several occasions.

as soon as we saw the dogs on the cameras. And while they eventually did end up keeping them tied up, the dogs kept getting loose. My husband called the cops to ask what he could do to protect from the dogs, and he was told that since they were on his property, he could shoot if he wanted. My husband and I love and care for our animals and wouldn't ever want something like that to happen to them.

so obviously we never did anything to hurt the dogs. It was hard to tell whether they were killing out of hunger because they weren't fed or just out of instinct. We also just wanted to keep a normal relationship with our neighbors and harming their animals. Would it be a good way to do that? But it was a very upsetting situation. I am unfortunately not sure what happened to the dogs.

I have not seen them around. A lot of people were surprised by my dogs being so chill about this. I forgot to include a picture, but they are two Maltese slash Shih Tzu mixes and one small mutt. Potentially schnauzer, he was a rescue. Overall, small loving dogs. All bark and no bite and very excited to play. Therefore, I am glad they are not a huge concern in terms of. of causing any sort of damage.

But one can never be too sure, and like many said, they are animals after all, and can be reactive unexpectedly. There was a comment that said, quote, I am totally on board with it takes a village, but you just can't draft people into your village without their consent. If this kid had found his way into your life in a way that made you feel less violated, maybe you would have opted to join his village. But he didn't, and that's not your fault. O.P. If it's anyone's fault, it's his parents' fault, end quote.

And honestly, I really do agree. I have never had this kid or his family over to my house, much less inside. We've had very limited interactions. Most of them have been to address problems caused by their animals, which my husband has mostly dealt with. I am perfectly fine with having a good relationship with my neighbors, but we truly do all live so spread apart that it is hard to connect with them. Some suggest that I make this kid my friend and have them over,

but truthfully, I do not feel comfortable having to come over or doing play dates with my dogs. Maybe if we had a proper introduction, I would have been more open to the idea, but at this point, it just makes me feel like the more comfortable he feels to be here, the more he will. And I personally do not want to deal with it. He intruded on our privacy more than once, and I am not inclined to be more involved with this family than necessary. And about the flamethrower, my poor husband was getting so roasted.

Get it, pun, for this. And I just want to say, no, he is not crazy. That was my bad. We call it a flame thrower. I'm not sure why because I googled it and these things are intense. It was a propane torch. We have a wood stove and keep a torch inside to help light it. We just got done cutting hay in the field and I've noticed more spiders near a house since then.

The reason my husband used the torch was that he saw a huge wolf spider carrying their babies on their back on the pavement outside our front door. If he would have squished it, they would have all ran off out of her air and I personally prefer them out of my house. This is not our preferred method of killing spiders

and the torch serves a more normal purpose. He left the torch on our kitchen table before he left for work. Either way, it is kept inside the house and I would assume it's not necessarily a child-friendly device. And now let's get into some of the top comments. One person says, as an attorney, a parent, animal lover, this is a disaster in slow motion.

These people are completely irresponsible parents and animal owners. I wish there was some way to hold them accountable. But short of investing significant funds to secure property via tall fences and locking gates, I don't think it'll stop. And someone replies and says, If their animals are visibly malnourished, they could call animal control. Also, for the animals the dogs killed, I'd have sent them a bill. They apparently don't give a damn until they are held accountable personally.

So hitting them in the pocketbook is probably the only way to change their attitude. And then we don't get any sort of update from the O.P. For a long time, about nine months. But nine months later, the O.P comes back and let's get into their update. The post reads, A lot of people interacted with my first post last year. Many let me know I was N-O-R. Some had some different opinions.

and I greatly appreciated the suggestions and advice. And NOR stands for not overreacting. I did end up calling CPS to make a report for that incident. I now have locks on the gate to my yard. My dogs still have access to the yard through their dog door, and all my exterior doors are locked. We still have cameras on our property as well as the one in the living room. But for the most recent update,

something happened a few weeks ago when I was home alone in the afternoon on a weekday. Almost a year had passed since the last time he crawled into my house through the dog door. And the same kid whose house is a third of a mile away on a country road showed up at my house again. About a year older now. Recall, we live on a 40-acre farm and have no. no connection or relationship to this kid or his family, besides the various times he has barged into my house uninvited. As soon as my husband got a notification that a person was detected

on the cameras and no vehicle was seen, my husband checked the outside cameras and noticed the kid was back. So he called me to let me know. I looked out the window and this time the kid was shirtless and pantless, only wearing underwear and muck boots. I immediately called the police. They took approximately 35 minutes to get to my house. I live in the country on 40 acres. In the meantime, the kid played with my farm animals outside and ran into the open garages and shops. My geese and turkey, which are aggressive and do attack, seemed to scare him off enough to that he did not want to get near them. I watched them from inside to keep an eye on him, and to make sure he did not run off anywhere, especially toward the highway, which my property is next to.

At no point at all did any of his family members come to look for him. He looked through my windows and saw me in the house. He knocked and asked and yelled to come in. To which I responded, no. He attempted to open the locked door for a minute or two. Once the police arrived, they asked him some questions, which he seemed to ignore or mumble answers to. As they placed him in the police vehicle, I noticed he had two baseballs that had been taken from one of our shops. The police noticed too,

and asked him to please return the baseballs back to me. He said no, and asked if he could keep one, to which I said no, and had him to give him back. The officer told him it was not okay to go to other people's houses and take things that were not his.

I let the police know this was not the first time he came onto my property and let him know he had previously also gone into my house, both when I was home and also when my husband and I were both at work. I made sure to let him know I was very frustrated.

The police took him back home, and he was at his house for a while. The officer did come back to let me know. It seemed like he was just a kid who did not listen. Apparently, he had asked Grandma to go outside. She had said no, and he had gone outside regardless. Grandma and Mom were both home, and no one noticed he was not around for the 35 minutes plus however long he was outside, not on my property.

property and or however long it took him to get to my house down the road. The officer stated, there is not much I can do, but keep calling them if this happens again. I did call CPS again to make a report and made sure to let them know this was not the first time something like this happened and that I had called last year. I let them know that I continued to be concerned for the child safety, as well as that of my property and my animals. This kid continues to be unsupervised for prolonged periods of time, and once again, I do not want to be responsible for him and want to ensure there's enough documentation of these incidents. My husband and I are often not home, and we have no kids of our own.

They probably see us as bad neighbors, but this kid continues to disrespect our space and privacy, Even the cops said he told mom and grandma that this behavior is not okay and can eventually develop into more dangerous or criminal behavior. The parents have never taken any initiative to apologize, communicate, or to provide us with contact information. Am I overreacting? Any suggestions? And now let's get into some of the top comments. someone says not overreacting. I would never go on their property.

You have no idea what kind of people they are, and they already are neglecting their child. So don't endanger yourself by going near their house. You have done all you can. Keep calling the sheriff every time. Don't bother calling CPS. They won't do anything. And the OP responds,

and says, I've had the thought of taking him back home myself, but I just do not feel comfortable since I have been home alone on both occasions, and I have no idea who is at his home. Someone else comments and says, not overreacting. You're doing everything you can.

I would continue to call the police and CPS whenever he shows up. His family really is too much. And a commenter replies and says, yes, every time he arrives, call the police, make it their problem, and create the paper trail. I don't think continuing to call CPS will help anyone here. The police will report to them now and take that off your shoulders. Also, if this happens again, you should stress to the police that not all of your animals are friendly. And the child could get in trouble.

I feel like the parents will only care if that eventually happens. I know wandering and escaping can be habits of neurodivergent children. His parents really need to get an air tag on him via a bracelet or in his shoes. This is so stressful. I also don't think you walking yourself to their house to talk face-to-face will help. Reasonable parents would have already come to speak to you and apologize. These aren't reasonable people. in the OP response and says,

I will definitely continue to call the police. If the parents, from the beginning, had provided me their contact information and had taken some sort of accountability, I feel like maybe it could have been dealt with on a more personal level, but they have never taken the initiative or responsibility. And I feel like the only way

they will maybe take this seriously is if police continues to be notified. Another commenter says, not overreacting. I understand calling CPS on a kid would feel intense or harsh, but it's so realistic. This kid is not in a good home that can handle his bad behavior effectively. It could escalate and get himself, you, or plenty others hurt. Just keep documenting it and beef up your security however you can. I'm really sorry.

This has both got to be frustrating and feel tough to do. And a commenter replies underneath that and says, Yeah, I posted something on another thread. Lots of people act like calling CPS is a punishment for the parents, but their concern is the well-being of the child. Don't hesitate. It's their job to figure out if the child is safe, not yours. And the O.P replied and said,

that is what the CPS lady I spoke to on the phone told me. I am not trying to hurt this family at all. But CPS needs to be aware of the situation. And another person says, hundreds of people told you to trespass the kid on your last post. Why haven't you done this yet? It's really the only lane you have at the moment. And the OPE replies and says,

the cops told me that because he is a minor, I am unable to press charges. They refuse to press charges against the parents either and cited the reason for my call as a welfare check. And someone else comments and says, if this is happening in the middle of the day, why isn't he at school unless it's summer or weekend? Seems like a case of neglect that they don't even know he is missing. Please keep calling the police and file a CPS report. Also, document each time he has been on your property without your permission. Breaking and entering, trespassing, etc.

Keep copies of the videos. It may be worth it to consult with an attorney to see if they can send a letter confirming the child or any other family members are not permitted on your property. And perhaps anything else we haven't thought of here. It may also be interesting, to contact the local school district slash school, and if he is trespassing during school hours, let them know this is going on. I wonder if he is being homeschooled or just never enrolled,

or whatever the situation is. They may send out a social worker to investigate if they are not familiar with the family. And the OP responds and says, I'm keeping records, videos, and recordings. We may look into. We may look into. to getting legal advice if this happens again. Thank you. And that is the last update we have ever received from the O.P. And I really wonder what ended up happening. I mean, I really hope that CPS or the police went back to the little kid's house

and really, you know, talk to the parents because this kid, in my opinion, is being obviously neglected. You know, like these parents don't care that he's running out pretty often and also going into a random stranger's home. Like, that is beyond concerning. Also, it's just a very scary situation for the O.P. The O.P. is at their house doing whatever, and a little kid crawls through the dog door?

I mean, that's scary. Like, I wouldn't know what to do, and the O.P didn't know what to do either. and they're going to have to continue to deal with this because the parents are just being neglectful. So I really wonder what happened and I'd love to hear your guys' thoughts on it. So please comment down below on what you guys think about this. My boyfriend displayed my explicit pictures on a wall of women he and his friends have slept with. I feel like my life has been ruined. This all just happened one hour ago, so I'm really shaken.

I'm sorry if it's too long. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years and four months. We met at the college that we go to. My parents live in the same city where our school is, but my boyfriend lives about six hours away. When school's in session, we both live on campus. I haven't been able to see him since it closed due to the pandemic, and we had to go home.

Some background. My boyfriend has to be. as a group of friends in his hometown that I've never really liked. They've been friends since high school. And believe me when I say that they still belong in high school. Two of them are brothers from a rich family who don't go to work or go to school. They spend their days smoking pot and playing video games. One of the other friends is in the military and the two last friends and as well as my boyfriend are in college.

but I'll go to different schools. It's pretty rare that they're all home at the same time, especially with the one being in the military. He's away a lot. My boyfriend is really protective of the time they have together. I've spent a lot of time with these guys because every time I visit my boyfriend's hometown, I see at least the two brothers.

You may be wondering why I don't like these friends. For one, they don't have any girlfriends, My boyfriend is the only one in the group who has been in a relationship for longer than a few months. They think women are good enough for intimacy and not much else. I'm not putting words in their mouths. One of them literally told me that to my face. I'm very outspoken, so they hate me because I call them out on their BS. It goes without saying that it's basically their mission to convince my boyfriend to dump me.

whenever there's an issue between his friends and I, he just tries to stay out of it. He doesn't stand up for me. I hate who he becomes when he's trying to impress those a-holes. The majority of our arguments have been a result of him allowing his friends to treat me like trash. They've been rude or blatantly ignoring me. My boyfriend is the calmest, sweetest, most wonderful person, or so I thought. I never understood why he kept them around when it was so clear to me that he had outgrown them. It appeared that they had pretty much nothing in common.

I see now how alike they are after all. For the record, I knew I should have held them more responsible for his friends. However, it was just too easy to put them out of my mind. They were only ever an issue if they were outwardly rude to me during one of the few weeks per year, year I hung out with them. The rest of the time, he was a really great boyfriend. I never imagined him hurting me in this way. Now back to the story. The two brothers live in a house that's detached from the main one their parents live in. It's where they all usually hang out. I've been there many times. It has its own kitchen and everything. It's literally a smaller house. They also have a basement

that I've only seen a couple of times because it's their man cave. I never cared to enter anyway. I had no idea, but apparently down there, all of the friends have this wall that has their names on it and pictures of the women they've each had intimacy with lodged below. Apparently, not all of the pictures are explicit, but there are mostly explicit pictures because they have this, sick point system like it's a game and they get more points if the picture is fully explicit.

I guess all of the pictures look like they were taken with the knowledge of the women in the photo, but I doubt any of them know it was going to be tacked up on display. They'd been doing this for years. I'm disgusted and horrified and devastated because I had no idea this is the type of man I was with. I found out because I'm friends with the sister of the two brothers, and she saw the wall herself. She reached out to only me because I'm the only one she knows personally. She said that my boyfriend had the least amount of pictures by his name. She showed me the picture of me he had tacked on the wall. It was a full body explicit photo I had sent over a year ago. Thankfully, it does not have my face in it, but I have a tattoo on my thigh that makes it very obvious the woman in the picture is me.

I would never consent to let these guys see my body in that way. I let my boyfriend, because I trusted him. I feel shocked, embarrassed, betrayed, violated, objectified, and a little frightened. I called my boyfriend. I admit in hysterics. It took many attempts before he was able to fully understand what I was saying. He at first denied the existence of this wall. Then he admitted it exists, but he didn't use a real picture of me.

He used a picture of someone else and pretended it was me. I told him I'd seen the picture and knew damn well it was me. Then he started sobbing hysterically, begging for forgiveness. Then he was annoyed at me for being so upset and asked what's the big deal, since I'm hot anyway. I just hung up because I can't talk to him. I can't look at him. I feel physically nauseous thinking about what he did. How he could not only share my explicit photos with his friends who look down on me,

who treat me badly for being a woman. He allowed those men to have access to my body. I have never been so wrong about a person. I could never forgive him. I think I may want to press charges if I can get the sister to send me more pictures of the wall. But I'm sure my boyfriend has alerted the friends so they could be taking it down as I typed this.

I'm heartbroken. I don't know how I'm going to tell my family because they're very conservative. They don't even know about my tattoo. I'm so ashamed. I don't know what to do. And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says, quote, he at first denied the existence of this wall.

Then he admitted it exists, but he didn't use a real picture of me. He used a picture of someone else and pretended it was me. I told him I'd seen the picture and knew damn well it was me. Then he started sobbing hysterically begging for forgiveness. Then he was annoyed at me for being so upset and asked what's the big deal. Since I'm hot anyway. This is what the commenter was quoting and referring to in the commenter comments on this quote and says, this part disturbed me more than the rest.

The fact that he didn't just fess up straight away, but went through the entire list of excuses, shows he has no actual remorse. He may seem like a sweet guy, but he's obviously not. He and his friends are just a group of losers. And the opi replies and says, I can't believe that this is the man I loved. I don't know him. They are all terrible people.

Another user says, you should press charges, even if you only have the picture of yourself. And if you haven't already break up and block this guy's ass, along with all these other guys. I'm so, so, so sorry this happened to you. You should take legal action if that's possible. What a horrible thing for these boys to do. Absolutely disgusting.

And someone replies to the commenter's comment and says, What the eff is this? And they have a sister too? Do they not care about her? Do they think she is only good for intimacy as well? This is messed up on so many levels. I hope these photos were not shared online. And that's a great point that this commenter just brought up.

I mean, these guys have these pictures printed out and posted up on their basement wall, which is just deranged and unhinged as it is and just disgusting. But, I mean, that is a real possibility. These disgusting weirdos took a picture and maybe posted it online, which opens up a whole other possible can of worms that would just be horrific. And so hopefully this comiter is wrong. and hopefully these disgusting weirdos didn't post this online, but the OP replies to the comment and says,

I sent them to my boyfriend over text. It bothers me even more that they went through the effort to print them out. I have no idea if there are any awful things he's done that I haven't found out about. I want to throw up. And OP, when told to tell her parents, The OP says, I don't know how my parents would react. Telling them is what I'm most afraid of. They'll be so upset, I even took the picture.

And I think my mom will never forgive me. She is very religious. My dad is less strict than her, but he's anti-premarital intimacy. He and I have gotten really close recently, but I think this will ruin that forever. And then we don't get an update for quite a while. About two months, but two months later, the OPE comes back and let's get into the update. The post reads, I wasn't prepared for the post to blow up as much as it did.

Thankfully, aside from a few mean messages or creeps PMing me for explicit pictures, the majority of the messages I received were so wonderfully supportive that it might, motivated me to make some big decisions I will get to momentarily. I've even became friends with a few Redditors who reached out through my post. I thought I'd give an update on the situation for those who have been asking as my small attempt as a thank you. I'm sorry if it gets removed again. So the first thing I did was tell my family what happened to me. I separately told my mom. She was not angry at me like I had feared. Not even after learning about my tattoo.

She hugged me for a long time and we both cried. Then I had to tell everyone else. My dad was upset with my ex. And later he apparently told me that I've broken his heart and I'm disgusting. He doesn't know I know he said that as my mom swore me to secrecy. But it was soul crushing to hear. My relationship with him is virtually non-existent now. It's like we have a silent agreement to interact as little as possible.

The rest of my family has been supportive of me with a few outliers. So, I did it. I put on my big girl pants and went to the police. They let me give a tearful interview, and that's about all they've done as of now. I knew the odds of getting charges to stick in a case like this would be difficult, but I thought the police would try. I don't even believe my ex-boyfriend has been contacted. Yes, my ex-boyfriend.

I know the way I titled my last post, confused some people, but rest assured, he is an ex. I've only spoken to him once since my post. We talked on the phone for hours about everything. I admit it was really emotional because even though he'd betrayed me, I still loved him and it was hard to let go of the good times. His mood changed a lot throughout and it was really jarring. One moment he'd be crying, the next he'd be angry telling me I was giving up on him.

In one particularly nasty moment of his, he confessed to me that my explicit photo had been deducted points amongst him and his friends because, because of faint stretch marks I have on my chest. Normally, I feel good about my body, but I have to admit that confession was the last blow in this whole effed-up situation that took me down. I still toy with the idea of telling his mother everything

when I'm feeling especially angry. I have no idea of any of these women in those photos or if they were underage. The only one I know of who was on that wall is myself. The sister who told me everything immediately shut down and refused to help me any further after a while. I don't know if the wall is up anymore. I can't blame her that much, but it did suck because she was really my only chance at getting justice. I don't know how many of my explicit photos those men saw. I don't know if they're online. I reverse image, search them constantly out of

paranoia. Not everything to come out of this has been bad. Something I hope warms your heart as much as it does mine is something my mom came up with. She claims like my tattoo so much that she wants one herself. She and I are going to get a matching tattoo together once the world goes back to normal. One, she chose herself. And even more importantly, I saw my ex for who he really is, so now I get to move on and potentially find a man slash woman with a soul. Thanks again to all of you. Much love. Does a verbally and mentally abusive man really mean it

when he admits to his faults and says he wants to change? I've been with my boyfriend almost three years. It's been a seriously rocky relationship. He has been verbally abusive. towards me, referring to me as stupid, an R-word, spastic, B-word, ugly, a piece of trash, worthless, and also wished a miscarriage on me and hoped that it hurt when I thought I was pregnant. For the past 10 months, he has also been breaking up with me and getting back together so frequently it's almost a week.

thing. He's flirted with other girls behind my back and has binged on drink and drugs and left me to deal with him in some out-of-control states. Along with all that, there has been a lot of passion and chemistry between us. I feel a complete connection to him when he's not being abusive. I love the good person in him. I can honestly say I have never felt more comfortable and content when we are together. And when his personality is pleasant, I am in love with him. And I can't stop loving him. I ended things with him on the morning of my birthday after sending me a message saying, You're a piece of crap.

Happy birthday, you effing, C-word. I wasn't even upset. I had just reached the point where I could walk away. Since then, he's been apologizing, He has admitted that he needs to mature and change his ways. Has told me he doesn't want to lose me, and he wants to give me all the love I deserve. He's never talked like this before. I told him to change before, and his response was, I don't need to change.

So I'm questioning now if he really means what he is saying? Everyone I've been getting advice from in my life has been women. I would just like to get a man's perspective. Can men like this really change? Or should I let him go? It would be so much easier if I didn't love him. What I do, and it's so difficult to let go. And the top comment on this post reads,

Nope, that's pretty standard behavior for abusive people. They want you in their control, and they will do anything to get you back in there. You finally managed to get away. Don't mess that up now. It's just nice words. Nothing more. Cut contact, block him, maybe sleep at a friend's place for a few nights, so we can't come knocking at your door. And then the OPE makes an edit to her post and says,

thanks to everyone who replied, I have read all your messages. I have had a good think and have decided I deserve better and to move on. And unfortunately, the OP did not move on. And seven months later, the OP comes back with an update titled, seven months ago, I posted to R slash Ask Men asking for a male's opinion if an abuse of man can change. I didn't listen to the advice and paid the consequences.

I think others in my position should see this. And the post reads as follows. Well, I was stupid enough to take them back. To cut a long story short, one of the conditions for me taking them back was that we tried long distance as I went to study abroad from October to February. I have to say, throughout this time, I did see a slight change in him. And honestly, my insecurities about the past were the main cause of arguments, however. He did still have those abusive tendencies, playing mental games, threatening to have intimacy with other people, breaking up with me every second, etc.

He was so good at what he did, though, declaring his undying love and other BS to reel me back in. In January, however, he suggested he moved with me to stay with me for my last month abroad. Silly me agreed. I paid for everything. His flights, rent, food, was just so happy that we were reunited. Everything seemed to be perfect. But looking back now, the saying, too good to be true, comes to mind.

The day before he moved, he begged me to trust him and reassured me all he. his future plans included him. The last week together, he told me he couldn't imagine us ending. He couldn't imagine starting all over again with someone else, as we had seen and been through too much together. I was walking on air. Then it happened. After a really fun night out where I introduced him to my friends,

everyone's spirits were high except his. He became verbally abusive after we parted way, with my friends, telling me to shut the F up for no reason, with a smirk on his face. Not going into too much detail, as is a long story, but when we got back to our apartment, an argument escalated. Next thing I know, he has me pinned down to the bed, strangling me. I felt his fingers pressing down deeper, so I reached for his face and clawed it. It was only then did he let go. I was bent over on the bed on all fours in hysterics,

screaming, crying, choking for breath, and he actually rubbed my back and asked if I was okay. The only words I could get out was, you strangled me. Within 10 minutes, he had packed his stuff and left, not before telling me I'm pathetic, and that nobody would believe me because he has marks on my face and I have none on mine.

After he left, I ran for help. Police and paramedics were involved. They have pointed out a black guy that I didn't even notice. He obviously hit me before pinning me down. Turns out, he was arrested at the airport trying to leave the country and questioned but was let go and was told to go home. I flew home a couple of. a days later to be with my family and have since taken out a restraining order against him.

I have had no contact now with him since that day, but I do have a court hearing with him this month to see if I should be extended or if he wants to contest it. I feel like I should apologize to the people who offered me advice. I literally did not listen to my family, friends and strangers on the internet, and it nearly cost me my life. I'm now left to deal with trauma of it. I'm pretty sure he is ruining my reputation behind my back, as friends and people who once interacted with me have stopped.

I confided it in one of my good friends about what happened, and I discovered she had been in close contact with him, going out with him, et cetera, and she's claiming she's trying to keep it neutral, so I wouldn't be surprised if he's told people I'm lying. The level of betrayal I feel is heartbreaking. I genuinely loved him and was committed to him. He was always mentally, verbally, and emotionally abusive.

The height of the physical abuse was a few pushes and shoves, but this escalated so quickly into attempted murder and is scary how quickly someone can snap. I'm now reading old messages between us and I'm completely disgusted with myself. I stayed with this animal for so long. The way he spoke to me and treated me was horrific. That being said, it is still early days and I still find myself to love him. God knows why.

I need counseling. So hopefully anyone, male or female, who is in the same position as I was, learns from my mistakes. These people certainly do not change. Edit, seriously overwhelmed by all of the support. Thank you all so much. I really appreciate it. Although you are all strangers,

it's nice to know that there are people out there who care. I may not be able to reply to all your comments, but I'm reading every one of them and value the advice given. and this is the last update we have ever received from the OP. My spouse is a pet hoarder. And just a quick warning, this one is horrifying. It's 6 a.m.

And the roosters have been crowing nonstop for the last two hours in our sunroom adjacent to our bedroom. I'm now sitting in the basement as flies swarm around me, and I've given up swatting them because there's too many to bother. The basement is the area of the house with the least amount of flies. On top of the rooster noise is the cackle of male quail that reside in our living room. They live in the base of three cages that are filled with budgies and cockatiel. When I wake up, I remember to put on my slippers and I hope I get to them. before stepping in dog urine or fresh dog poop.

Our carpet in our master bedroom is saturated in dog urine with many spots that haven't dried out yet. Yesterday, my wife bought our daughter a new tortoise and a frog. The tortoise will be added to the aquarium with our beard of dragon. The beard of dragon, which is often free to roam the house because my wife will be added to the aquarium. why if it feels it'll be happier. It is free to poop on our furniture or floor or where it was left out last. As I sit here in my basement, the only place where I do not allow any pets, I'm listening to a rabbit thumping its paws on the floor above me, or it's the sound of it biting and ripping apart our wall or furniture. I'm not sure which noise it is, but,

I don't care anymore. We have at least six rabbits. Their little claws make a loud scraping and tapping noise as they scurry and hop across our laminate floors. The main level of our home is littered in rabbit droppings. The droppings get pushed to the side as our four children and us inadvertently kick them around while walking through the main level of our home. The dogs won't likely get let out this morning to go to the bathroom. The smaller dog doesn't even obey the command to go out anymore.

He just stares at you confused by your directive. If he does go outside, he just comes back in to find a place to pee and poop in one of our bedrooms. Our backyard doesn't have much dog poop because it's mostly in our bedrooms. It'll stay there for days on end because there is no expectation that it shouldn't be there. The new smell from the giant rug I bought for the basement has worn off. It smelled like glue and dye, and it drowned out the odors from the dozen chickens

that reside in our family and living room. They live in a couple 36-inch fabric pop-up enclosures filled with pine shavings. It is saturated with chicken, poop and urine and as soaked into our oak hardwood floors permanently damaging them. The stench is eye-watering. We have a lot of feathered friends here. In our master bedroom are three more cages with a variety of exotic birds that sing loudly all day long

and leave a permanent mess of seeds on the floor around the cages. They are free to roam and so our room has. dropping along our bed's headboard on our pillows, along the sides of the doors where they perch in our bathroom mirrors and down our shower curtains. Our sunroom has 30 plus chickens, and about 8 or 10 of them are roosters and the roosters crow all day. This is where the flies breed. They come in through the 40-year-old siding door, that is often left open. This door separates, the sunroom from our living area and our kitchen. The flies swarm in and at any given time there are dozens of flies in our living space.

The heat and humidity bake the sunroom floor, which is covered in chicken poop and urine, and the odor spreads through the house. Our house is in a suburban neighborhood. We do not live on a farm. In addition to these animals, we have two pet rats. They are sweet, but as you would expect, their cage is not well maintained, and it stinks 90% of the time. Our boys' room has a snake in axolodal aquarium. One of our daughters has an algae-covered fish aquarium that we fill with what water

whenever we hear the filter screech because the water evaporated too low. She also has an unkept cage with a hamster that is rarely played with. Right now, I'm listening to the mice eat through the foam board insulation in my basement. I want to get rid of them, but it's challenging with all the access to feed throughout the house. They seem to be breeding and entering through the home and a faster pace than they can be exterminated. I am not a pet person, and this is driving me nuts. My wife is a pet hoarder and has ADHD. Our backyard is a ghost town of quail cages from last year when she was really into quail breeding, and we had over 150 living in our backyard.

Now there remains broken and half-built cages and mounds of shavings and wood chips that she intended to use as bedding, scattered in random places in our backyard are household garbage bags of chicken poop when you try to lift them they fall apart because they weigh 30 to 40 pounds and the bags have deteriorated from the sun when challenged she seems to delight in the frustration it causes me because she is not happy in our marriage it seems that accumulating animals is bringing her little bits of dopamine with each acquisition. I'm tired of living like this, and I don't know what to do. Our children think this behavior is acceptable, and they often confine at me for not being on board of the animals. They say I'm not a pet person. It's true that I'm actually not a pet person, but what we have going on here is irresponsible, unsanitary, and illegal. This is pet cruelty and normalizing neglect of animals.

Edit. People think this is a fake post, but it's real. I'm not uploading pictures for privacy, but it's genuine. I wrote it in this style just to express everything because it's distressing. and aggravating, and I haven't expressed it to anyone. I'm seriously asking for advice. It is slipped out of control. The amount of pushback from my wife when I address the problems

creates a lot of tension and distresses the children. She just keeps bringing home animals. The last time I threatened to rehome the chickens that she was keeping in the house, She became extremely angry and combative. She rehomed them, but not after a slew of insults and claiming I was being totally unreasonable. Then she just slips back into the same behaviors because she never believed it was a problem in the first place. We've had company come to our house, but no one has called CPS or animal control yet.

Seeing all these reactions has me realizing just how bad it is, from an outside perspective. And a CPS call is a serious possibility, and that is terrifying. And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says, for starters, if you know it's illegal

and you get busted by cops feeling particularly aggressive, then you'll face just as much legal trouble as your wife. As for your wife, she desperately needs a therapist. Another user says, Dude, I grew up in a house like this, and it effed up all of the kids.

If you care about your children, you would get off your butt and call animal control. Then get everyone in your family therapy. Are you asking for advice or just venting? Because I get the need to vent, but you need to take action. now. And the O.P. replies and says, I'm seriously asking for advice and also venting because it really effing sucks,

and I feel trapped as a hostage for the sake of providing sanity for my kids. In what way did I F up everyone if you don't mind sharing? And the person replies and says, My mom was an animal hoarder. Please. Please help your children. Get them out of there. My brother and I are 27 and 28 now. We both have a wide array of health problems and triggers.

My brother can't smell animal waste without feeling violently angry. I feel physically dirty every day from sitting in filth for years, even though my own house is now clean and I have good hygiene. It's like I can't get the smell off me. All this time later, days where I have nightmares of being stuck in my mom's hoarder house are even worse. I know you feel stuck. I know it's easy for a stranger to look at it in very black and white, and you deal with all the nuances. But please, I need you to know without a doubt, even if your kids seem to enjoy and love all the animals, of course they did.

What kid doesn't? them living in filth is going to eat at them if it hasn't already. Also, from experience, get your kids checked for parasites. And someone else says, this is abuse. It's animal abuse. It's illegal. It's disgusting. There is not anything vaguely okay or even redeemable about this.

this is effed up. And then we don't get an update for a long time, about a year and a half later. But let's get into the update, because the OP did come back a year and a half later, and the update reads as follows. Some of you may remember my post venting and looking for advice on what to do

in regards to an extreme animal hoarding situation with my wife. dozens of chickens residing in the home and a variety of animals roaming outside of cages in the home feces and a rampant mice infestation after posting i sought therapy and started getting my bearings straightened out in the midst of setting firm boundaries and beginning the work to clean up literally two tons of chicken poop sand and pine shavings and resolving the rodent problem, a call to CPS was made by a third party, and an investigation ensued. Believe it or not, by that time,

much of the situation was resolved, animals rehomed, home cleaned and sanitized, nothing came of the CPS investigation, and it was pretty quickly closed down. However, the relationship was a situation, essentially permanently damaged as my wife continued to deny the problem was out of hand. Deep resentment developed towards each other.

Fast forward nearly 12 months and my wife requested a divorce. We are now separated awaiting an official legal divorce. I have moved into a very nice home and have the kids 50-50. My physical and mental health has dramatically improved. my kids now have a organized and clean haven. They seem happy. It seems inevitable. She may lose custody of the kids at some point altogether.

I'm hoping she can keep things in check, but due to the constant denial that there was a problem, it'll most likely repeat. I may have no choice but take steps to ensure the children's safety at some point, further disrupting the children's lives from their other words. loving mother. Limitations on pet quantities and cleanliness standards are written into the divorce settlement agreement. By the way, wife has been in therapy for a couple of years in the midst of the hoarding. I guess you could say the therapist was either not savvy to the situation

or enabling to an irresponsible level. I'm leaning towards the latter. She became more and more emboldened that I was causing her problems as opposed to looking inward. Her therapist seemed to fuel the delusions as far as I could tell. Anyways, thanks for all your advice and getting me to wake up to the madness I contributed to through inaction. And then the OP gives us another update six months later, titled, I called CPS and am having regrets about it. And this update reads, My soon-to-be-ex-wife has a bit of an animal obsession, but otherwise is a loving and attentive mother. We share 50-50 custody of four children. When we split up last year, I had worked really hard to get the house cleaned up, Help to re-home dozens of animals and eradicate a mice infestation before moving out.

Since then, she has collected dozens of animals again and the home reeks of animal urine. My oldest child has reported that the mice have returned. There is so much animal feed around the property and inside the home that wild mice have endless food supplies. The dogs are not potty trained, and every caged animal cannot be cleaned regularly enough to keep the odors at bay. When I got the kids for the week, all their belongings, clothing, had the strongest, pungent odor of dirt and urine. My home is clean and smells fresh, and the kids' belongings made my whole house stink. Two of my kids are wearing the same clothes day and night for multiple days at a time. I called CPS based on my attorney's advice and I feel awful about it.

It feels and looks vindictive even though that is not my intent. I feel like garbage and like I'm betraying my kid's mom's trust. I want to co-parent amicably. and I feel like this will take away from that. At the same time, she has a problem that is interfering with raising our children in a safe and sanitary environment. Also, my kids love having all the animals. Granted, they love them, but they don't recognize the amount of time and cost to properly care for them. They just like the excitement of having a bunch of pets and animals.

This is going to also strain my relationship. with the kids to a degree. They don't realize that, number one, the animals cannot possibly be cared for adequately. Number two, that they're going to school stinking to high heaven. Number three, that the home is a health concern for them. And number four, they see me as the mean dad that wants to take away all their precious animals, which are a part of the family. part of me is just scared of my soon-to-be ex-wife,

like actually afraid of my safety, L.O.L. I don't know if she knows yet, and part of me wants to go over to her house and help her again, clean up, and tell her again to re-home the animals. I know this is not realistic, as it was the primary source of our arguing and our home when we were together. I told her before moving out that

I would always expect that her home be sanitary. and not overrun by pets again, but that I'd be amicable and fair in our divorce process. Now it just feels like I'm being petty in the process of a difficult divorce, even though logically it's not true, but I can't help but shake a yucky feeling about calling CPS. And the top comment says, You prioritized your kids' well-being over doing the easy and comfortable

thing. I can assure you that your kids will be thankful that you took steps to intervene when they are older. If you allowed them to continue to live like that, you'd be complicit in neglect and betraying your own children. It's not fair to them that they are living like that, or going to school smelling bad. The only way your ex will change is if there are consequences for her actions. If you go clean up her house, you will be shielding her from those consequences and enabling her to continue to neglect your children. So while it might feel bad to do the right thing and it might make life more difficult, it is your responsibility as a parent. I hope that you fall through and do whatever is necessary to protect your kids. And another user says,

just don't admit to her that you're the one who called. For all she knows, the school called about them stinking. Reports are anonymous. I have had to call CPS on my co-parent too, and it sucks, but he has to do what's best for the kids. I just sat on the stand of court and testified that my ex sends my daughter home stinking while watching him roll his eyes at me. But I got a modified custody arrangement

that keeps my daughter from going unbathed during the school week for too long. And then the OP post another update a day later, and let's get into it. Update. I continued feeling uneasy all day and a bit panicked that before CPS came, that she would be able to conceal, hide, or talk her way out of the situation. I started feeling like I would come out looking worse, and the kids would not get a clean home out of the call. CPS talked to all of my kids while at school today.

My three little ones all reported that they are all fine from what I could tell. I did not pry or ask for more details of their conversation, but just generally asked if the interview was okay and how they felt about it. They all seemed fine and like it was just discreet and no big deal. However, my oldest child's visit from the agent was separate as he goes to middle school. He spilled all the beans and complained heavily about the unsanitary conditions in great detail. I did not tell him, warn him, or coach him in any way whatsoever.

In fact, I try not to even complain about the home to them as there is nothing they can do about it. it would therefore not be helpful. It would only cause them stress. He detailed that he asked his mom to buy a new $10 shirt and she told him no. She doesn't have the money. He then told the CPS agent that two days later, he saw her come home with tons of new chickens and animal supplies. Ouch. I'm saddened that he has been living in those conditions. I feel bad that their mom was probably humiliated by that story being retold to her. My son corroborated every complaint. The only reason I know what he told the agent was that their mom called him tonight

and was quizzing him on his interview. I overheard everything he said as I was cleaning the kitchen and he was right there, boldly telling his mom all the things he told the agent. I didn't even know he was interviewed today as we had a full afternoon of driving into kids' activities and making dinner, rushing to do all the parenting things. Anyway, I am relieved that there was corroboration, and it sounds like this may light a fire under their mom to again make some changes. I feel like this could end up being a regular cycle in the years to come.

I hope she hangs out and there, finds the courage to recognize there is a legitimate issue, and works to get better. I haven't been reached out to by CPS yet, but I suspect to get a call soon and I hope they're able to convince her that changes have to be made. And the top comment says, you did the right thing. Did you offer to help her before calling? Many times, when it's a breakup, the dad leaves cause behavior, etc. of the partner. But you leave the kids. If it is horrible for you when you leave, why leave the kids?

Imagine what kids must be going through at school. Surprise school hasn't reported the situation. And the OPE, he replies and says, I didn't offer to help clean up. I feel like offering to help clean up would be enabling when what she really needs to happen is finding homes for these animals and that would be entirely offensive to her.

She fought me bitterly when we live together over her right to keep the animals. I really want to help clean up the house. to help her but I cannot do that if she is not willing to address the core issue and then we don't get any sort of word from the OP for a long time but two years later the OP commented on a post that was titled my ex's home that we used to share with our kids is really filthy which concerns someone going through almost the same thing and offers small updates but then the opi's comment on this is this is challenging and I don't have a perfect answer but I do have experience

with the same issue my kids mom had dozens of animals including birds not in cages that were not potty trained not properly cared for nor cleaned up afterwards when I would pick up my kids they would be wearing the same clothes as they were dropped off in a week earlier my entire home would smell like urine just from their belongings they would bring over. It was sad, alarming, and maddening. It left me with no choice but to get authorities involved. The problem is that the co-parent may not see it as a problem so they may villainize you for raising an alarm. If there is any way to amicably have a conversation about your concerns for your children's health and social well-being, into it. I would exhaust myself trying to first have conversations that express concern.

If changes are not made, I would escalate it to let them know that the kids' health is a concern and you may make a call to authorities if needed. Just bear in mind this escalation that will result in permanently affecting your co-parenting relationship, they will likely retaliate, become more difficult in every way possible. It's easier for people to react in the way than to get proper mental health and take accountability. I'm about three years from when the situation was at its worst, and I don't regret calling authorities. If anything, I'm still frustrated that she put me in the kids in a situation where that was our only option to enact a change. My comment is to provide you with validation and reassurance that you can get through it.

Try to keep the relationship amicable. Document the concerns and take pictures if needed because your co-parent is likely to deny and downplay the legitimacy of your concerns. Keep it civil and fact-based and focus on the kids and not being vindictive towards your co-parent. Best of luck. And the OP adds in the comment and says, We had guidelines regarding quantity of pets and cleanliness standards written in our custody agreement. neighbors also began calling in to make complaints about the dogs barking. Chickens getting out.

Home is in a suburban neighborhood, not a farm. Between visits from CPS and animal control, things have improved. And so from that last final comment that was two years from the original thread, it seems like the OP said, things have improved, which is a great sign. but let's get into some of the top comments on what people's thoughts are on this thread. One user says these poor kids and animals, they deserve better than to live in filth. And someone replies and says, I hope O.P found a way to teach them how animals should be cared for. Because if he didn't, one or more of them could simply repeat her behavior in adulthood.

I'd personally make them volunteer at a local animal shelter for a year, and then have them pick out a pet together and be properly responsible for it. And someone else says, I am an adult who grew up in a pet hoarder house. I remember reading the first post and showing my friends to explain this was a little worse than my house, but it was the first post I've ever seen that could describe how awful it was. We had tons of animals. They would rotate out and in because my mother had zero attachment to them and always wanted another animal.

We had like eight outdoor cats, 10 plus dogs at all times, multiple birds, rats, ferrets, and other caged animals, lizards, ducks. We did not have a farm. We lived in a regular suburb. We couldn't play in the yard because she didn't pick up dog poop, Our house smelled awful and was super dirty

Things were broken and chewed up I didn't mind it as a kid I loved some of the animals But at some point she'd get rid of them because they were bad To get something else but as I got older I was too embarrassed by the state of her house to have friends over The animals running wild stressed me out So I hid in my room with whatever dog I was currently attached to

I can tell you sad stories that make me upset even now how some of the animals were neglected. I'm 35 now, and I haven't talked to my mother in six years. We had a falling out over her having 15 plus dogs that she wasn't taking care of. I couldn't handle it anymore. She is a part of rescues that encourage it, which is insane to me. I live in a really tidy house and have one single spoiled cat. this was a long wind to comment but i'm glad opi got the f out and is doing his best for those kids

and like i said this is the last update we have ever received from the op but i'm just kind of blown away by this entire thread and also the commenters on this thread because i have personally never heard of pet hoarding i have of course heard of hoarding where people you know just get a bunch of stuff or junk and keep it up in their house, don't want to throw it away. It creates a unsafe, unsanitary and just gross living conditions. But I've never heard of pet hoarding where these people have just tons and tons and tons of animals just living in their house, basically just like a zoo and just pooping and peeing

everywhere and like i mean i've just never heard of pet hoarding before obviously it's probably some sort of mental illness but i just find that concept so interesting and unique because uh like i've just never heard of it before but it truly is sad and i hope that the opes um ex-wife got the help she needs because she obviously needs a lot of help and i hope that the opi and his kids were able to move on and, you know, hopefully reconstruct their family. But this is just a wild and honestly horrifying and gross thread. But I'd love to hear your guys' thoughts on this. I 26 female caught my 34 male husband texting a minor. I am on a eight-hour road trip with him and don't know what to do. I am absolutely shaking right now.

My husband and I have known each other for three years and have gotten married six months ago. He is perfect and everything I could have asked for. These past years I thought I had been living the dream. But now everything has fallen apart. Two hours into a road trip, my husband decided to take a stop at a gas station and get us some snacks. I stayed inside the car and was waiting for him until I noticed he got a notification from Instagram. This surprised me because he was always adamant on never wanting to get Instagram. I opened up his phone and decided to check who it was. Upon opening, I found messages with a

teenage girl. I only saw a couple of them, but they were. They consisted of, I love you, I can't wait to see you again, and him sliding on her stories saying she looks beautiful. I clicked on her profile, and it was obvious she was a teenager, around mid-teenage years. The fact he was cheating on me didn't even register in my brain, and it was more so the fact that he was texting these things to someone underage. I did not have the chance to look further because he came back within 10 minutes. I don't know what to do.

I am terrified, betrayed, and disgusted. I am stuck with him for six more hours, and he is noticing I am acting weird. I don't want to confront him on the road, and I feel like these hours are driving me crazy. I need to vent. and need some support or something. Edit, I want to thank everyone for the replies and support.

I have been faking sick just to get him off my back as to why I'm not holding his hand or be affectionate with him. I know I should go along with it and pretend for my sake, but I physically can't bring myself to. I'm going to try to take a nap as we have about four hours left to go. Truly taking everyone's advice to heart and thank you for everyone taking your time. I just need to rest my brain

before I do something I regret. Thankfully, we are on a trip to see my parents. So after these hours, I will truly feel safe. And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says he's going to figure out. You guys have her going in like Tom Cruise from Mission Impossible to screenshot his phone

and text or email them herself and erase the text all before he came back. She's going to be sweating bullets, and he is going to put the two and two together, especially when he sees his messages from this girl are already read, even though he didn't read them. He's probably already onto her knowing. Doubt she will get any more alone time with that phone. Another user says, when you get the phone again, screenshot as much of you can,

and text it to yourself. Delete the screenshot. as well as the deleted images in the photos app and the text. Compile this and email Instagram support. Tell them everything you know about him including slash make and model a phone and where he would be logging in from geographically. They should be able to take it from there.

They have teams internally that will make the authorities are involved. These actions are criminal. I'm sorry you were going through this. P.S. It is probably safer to make a plan to live. leave ASAP and don't confront him directly. Source, I used to work at a social network as a moderator, and we had a process that fast-tracked these kind of things to a team that worked with the authorities. ETA, at the very least, get his username and get the girl's username.

Instagram employees will have access to the rest. Edit 2. My suggestion to send from his phone was to explicitly create digital breadcrumbs. The image would be created on his device and sent via his accounts, so that it would be inextricably linked to his phone. Thanks. And then the OPEE replies and says, Hello, thank you so much for this reply.

The next time we make a stop, I will make sure to do this. I'm terrified. It'll turn into a hole. She said, he said story, and I want the facts straight. I also want to make sure I know this girl's information to help her, so she doesn't get away from it. And then we get an update a few hours later. And let's get into it.

The post reads, First, I want to thank everyone for the support and advice they gave me. Like I said in my previous post, I just fell asleep during the car ride and told him I felt sick. We were heading to my parents' house, and I really wanted to be by them. However, within 45 minutes, my husband, Woke me up and told me he found a nearby hotel for us to stay in.

He said he was worried about me and wanted me to rest in a real bed. He also bought medicine for me. At this point, I was freaking out because now I was in an unfamiliar area and he was being extra clingy. Once we got in the room and we laid down, he kept cuddling me and giving me kisses. It made me feel sick, and so I left to go to the bathroom. I stayed in the bathroom for about an hour. I scrolled through everyone's comments and kept pacing myself about what to do.

I knew my husband was growing concerned because he kept checking on me. And after I left the bathroom, he looked so worried and I just needed to let everything out. I know the number one advice given was not. to confront him. And I know it probably was a horrible move, but I couldn't take it. I told him I found his messages on Instagram. He immediately started apologizing

and saying he wanted to tell me sooner, but couldn't find the time. He was apologizing, but not as intensely as what he could have done. So I confronted him about that, and he said, what a lousy apology coming from a predator. He immediately went silent.

He was probably silent for about six minutes when he broke it and asked what I was referring to. I told him and he looked so hurt. He took a deep breath and explained everything. He told the person I looked through his messages with was his 15-year-old daughter, Sarah. He explained that she reached, out to him a year ago on Facebook, and ever since he was trying to connect with her.

He said within six months he was confirmed he was the father, met up with her a bunch of times, and truly formed a strong connection with her. However, six months ago, we got married, and he didn't want to stress me out with that news, as well as his daughter not being ready to face the others. He also explained that when he was 18, he had an on and off relationship with a Sarah's mom when one day she's just up and ghosted him forever. According to Sarah, her mom is also strict, which is why the messages on Instagram to avoid her mom finding out right now. My mind is spiraling, and I knew he knew that. He then placed his phone into my hand and let me scroll further.

Upon scrolling, I found her referring to him as dad, and she sent him a happy father's day a while back as well. He even said he would do another DNA test to prove it to me. I immediately felt guilty. I feel guilty that my immediate mind took innocent texts and turned them inappropriate, and I felt guilty that I saw my husband in that way. I kept apologizing to him about the accusation. However, my husband just apologized and said he understood my point of view and told me it was not my fault.

I kept trying to tell him that I was sorry and he kept saying it was okay. I can see the look in his eyes though and I can see how hurt he really is. He said we should both just get some sleep and talk more later. To be honest, I can't fall asleep as I feel just. disgusted with myself. About his whole secret daughter, it doesn't bother me so much, maybe because it's miles better than the alternative, but I understand the situation and I'm happy for my husband because he wants kids desperately, but we have decided to wait two years to grow our marriage. I feel as if right now I flushed everything down the drain and have no clue

how to make things better. Edit, to answer some common questions or concerns, to the people who think my husband sucks for not telling me earlier, he acknowledged that it was wrong, and though his apology, I understand why he did it. I am slightly hurt. However, if I put myself in his shoes, revealing a secret daughter would be hard and difficult.

I don't take it as he doesn't trust me, more of it's a delicate situation to bring up. To the people who think I suck for invading my husband's privacy and making rash assumptions, yes, that is horrible of me and I take full accountability. My husband understands my point of view and doesn't blame me for rushing to conclusions. Although he is hurt, I can imagine him as that sort of person.

Long story short, we both empathize with each other's actions. Yes, we are both hurt, but understand why the course of events played out this way. Thank you to all the comments, and I don't know what kind of proof I can give, L.O.L. Am I the asshole for supposedly labeling my sister's boyfriend a purve? Hey, everyone, I kind of feel conflicted about this, and I really need advice on this, because so far, it seems like I overreacted. I 37 female have a daughter, Leah, fake name. Leah wanted to go sleep over at her aunt's house. Who is my younger sister?

Her cousin, who's slightly older, who is my brother's child, was going to be there. So, I guess, cousin bonding time. My sister is considered the fun aunt, so I agreed in Friday morning we dropped Leah off. The same day at around 11 p.m., Leah calls and tells me she wants to come home. I asked her why, and she explained that my sister's boyfriend was there, and she just feels a little uncomfortable. I asked and made sure everything is okay, and that nothing provoked her to ask me to pick her up, then convinced her to at least sleep for the night, then we will pick her up in the morning. She calls again after what I think is 45 minutes and says she wants to come home, and she will only sleep at home.

I got ready and drove 30 minutes to get her, and when I got there, I found my sister was pissed. To cut the long story short, she thinks that I think her boyfriend is a creep and a perv, and that I do not trust him around my daughter. She thinks I'm being too overprotective and Leah would have adjusted if I left it alone. She said kids do this with new people and I made it a big deal. Since then, things have been sour. My sister says to fix things I should apologize to her man because he feels like I do not trust him. I asked my husband Jason 40 male for his input and he says he understands where my my sister and her boyfriend are coming from. He said as a man, even he would feel some type of way

if a child called her mom twice to come get her because he is present in the house. He advised me to apologize to them and try to get Leah used to the boyfriend being around. All I did was peacefully get Leah. No accusations were made towards my sister's man and I have never said I do not like him or think of him as a purve. I don't understand why all of this became an issue. My husband thinks Leah should just try to adjust because her cousin was okay at the sleepover and didn't complain. I feel conflicted. It's not that I think I was wrong, but I also don't think I was right. I just need to know if I was dramatic by getting her. I also want to hear from the men if this would offend them and if I should apologize. I feel bad about all of this. And now let's get into

some of the top comments. One commenter says, not the asshole. Listen to your kids. Did you ever ask what he did to make her uncomfortable? Regardless, you do not need to apologize for listening to and respecting your daughter's concerns. That's called being a good parent. And the opiates. replies and says she didn't really explain all she keeps saying is that she was uncomfortable another commenter says did your daughter know that the boyfriend was going to be there was he staying the night if any of this was a surprise to her then the evening wasn't going to go the way she thought it was either way not the asshole i would have done the same thing and the op he replies and says no my daughter did not know he would be there. Yes, he was spending the night. And someone else says,

Not the asshole. I don't care if he's Nelson effing Mandela. If your kid says she feels unsafe, that is all that matters. And she should not be taught that she should get used to being uncomfortable and just deal with it. Your husband sucks. If I, as a kid, told my parents a grown man was making me uncomfortable, my father would at the very least tell that man he wasn't allowed near me. Your husband choosing the concept of false accusations of men to ignore someone who's making your daughter that upset. It's disgusting. And the O.P replied and said, I am a bit disappointed. I won't lie. And then we get an update the next day. And this update reads as follows. Hello, everyone. I want to thank you for.

for the post I made last night and all the responses I got. I also do understand why some were angry I didn't pick Leah up the first time and also about leaving the other kid there. With that being said, I have an update. For the sake of privacy, I will name my sister Jane and the boyfriend Mike. So here's how this went. I called Leah to talk to her dad and I. She refused to talk at all and said that she just uncomfortable and missed us and my husband asked her if she would be looking to apologize to Auntie Jane and she refused. I wanted to be sure she is 100% okay, so I asked my husband to excuse this. I told her I will not shame or be angry at her for whatever she tells me

and asked specifically for what made her uncomfortable. She said Mike played a tickle game with Amanda, and she kept saying no. And she also told me that he talked about how they were developing well. He also did the same tickling game with Leah, and when she told Jane she doesn't like being tickled, Jane said it's just having fun. That's when she called the first time.

The reason for what made her call the second time she said, she said Mike insisted on the girls showering, before bedtime and gave Leah a lingering bedtime hug. She told me all about when they were eating that he would call her his favorite smart little girl or he was sitting too close. She didn't want to sleep there even with the door being locked. To say I feel guilty for not picking her up the first time is an understatement. After this talk, I called my brother and we talked.

Amanda says she slept okay, but she could hear feet moving at night. Other than those uncomfortable instances, nothing else happened afterwards. My husband knows now about all of this, and he doesn't understand why Leah would wait this long to tell us if something was really wrong considering how close we are. The sleepover was last week, Friday so a week. He thinks she feels pressured into giving a reason for her discomfort. I don't care what he has to say, to be honest. I believe my baby.

I did apologize to Amanda for not taking her with, and she has no hard feelings. She knew her dad wouldn't have come. Leah feels like her feelings are dramatic, and I'm trying to make her understand that she is valid. My brother surprisingly just seems unbothered about all of this. With that being said, the only sleepovers that will take place will be in our home. I thank you all for the advice. I don't know when I will talk to Jane or if I even want anything to do with her.

And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says, Your husband needs to read these comments and take very seriously his daughter's very legitimate concerns. He needs to understand that his reaction and dismissiveness is exactly why she didn't tell you right away. His defensiveness about this. His first reaction was how he'd feel if this happened to him. Not how his child is actually feeling. That's awful.

He's prioritizing his feelings as a grown male adult over a young girl's feelings who is very vulnerable. Girls are their most vulnerable to abuse when at sleepovers. Your daughter did the brave thing asking to come home. home twice. She was being preyed on by your sister's boyfriend. He was manipulating those girls with that behavior. And your husband's dismissiveness is proving to your daughter that her father won't protect her. You need to hammer that point home to him and explain to him what girls and women go through all the time. It's disgusting how he's behaving and I feel so bad for your daughter.

and the opi replies and says, You're right. I will try to make him understand. Another commenter says, Not the asshole. And your husband and the other girl's father should both be ashamed of themselves for minimizing their daughter's discomfort.

They're leaving them wide open for predators. I'd give serious consideration to taking my kids and leaving this situation immediately. and there would be no unsupervised visitations if I can't trust you to protect my kid. Not with dad, aunt, or uncle. Protect your baby, O.P. And the Opie replies and says, I will protect her with all I have.

If my dad was alive, he would have talked to my husband since my late mom was abused. Another commenter says, Your husband and brother are dismissive because they don't believe Leah. Your husband's saying, Well, we're close. Why didn't you say something before? This means your line.

Is only him trying to teach your daughter that she shouldn't have bodily autonomy? If she doesn't want to be tickled or hugged or touched, she is right to say so. And all others need to respect that. Your husband is trying to teach his own daughter to be sweet, and it's infuriating. And the O.P. responds and says, He sees her behavior as a child being a child.

It is infuriating and quite frankly, disappointing. I don't want Leah to feel like her dad doesn't care about her because it'll affect her. I'm looking into therapy for her. And another commenter says, where is Amanda's mother in this? I think it would be wise to tell Amanda that if she is ever sent there again and she doesn't want to be there,

she can call you and you will come and get her. Also, having the chat with your brother and telling him that if you ever find that Amanda has been subjected to the guy again, then you won't hesitate to contact the police. On the note of the police, it might be worth looking into this guy to see if he has anything in the system against him.

Tell your sister that your daughter will no longer be attending her place due to the obvious safety concerns. When she tells you that your daughter and Amanda are wrong, advise her that she should be thankful you have not contacted the police yet. And the OPEE replies and says, Amanda's mom left after my brother cheated when Amanda was younger, but they have made progress in healthy co-parenting. I do not know if my brother told Amanda's mom.

I would tell her if I could find a way to contact her. My sister blocked me. And then we get an update the next day, and let's get into it. Hi everyone, thank you for all the support on the previous two posts. This is just a short and quick final update. First things first, I take full accountability and admit that I was wrong to tell my daughter we will pick her up in the morning. I agree that she should not have had to call twice for me to come get her. I have apologized and spoken to her about it. I also do accept that I was wrong to leave Amanda there.

Even though she told me she was okay, I should have pressed on and told her to come with me. I will always look out for her as I will Leah. Currently, my sister and I are not on speaking terms. I am blocked. I drove to her house, but she wasn't there, so I left after about an hour. The trash took itself out, I guess. My husband and I are also not on speaking terms. He has not talked to me since I showed him the last two posts and the comments. Leah thinks her dad thinks she was wrong,

and I had to assure her countless times that she was doing the right thing. He thinks we made drama up over the matter that could have been solved, over lunch. He still thinks Mike was just being friendly. I want to file a report, but I do know if the reasons are credible enough, too, but I'm looking into it. I do want to look into separation. I cannot stay with someone who go and dismisses our daughter's emotions. She has been feeling so guilty and apologized to him multiple times. So I have to do what is best for her. Amanda's mom told me, He will talk to my brother. I do not know how that went.

I will ask her later. I do not understand how a phone call and me picking my daughter up caused such a ruckus. My husband does not like Reddit advice, and to be frank, he was quite offended I posted. I just don't get what this man's problem is. I really don't get it. The way he dismisses Leah because he feels like nothing major happened, so it's an overreaction. Either way, it's just disappointing. Anyways, I appreciate all the advice and correction from you all.

And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says, I appreciate you thinking of separation. Your daughter did the right thing and I'm suspicious while your husband isn't furious at a grown man being that way with your own child. I hope your daughter doesn't internalize his reaction. I would talk to a therapist to figure out how to handle a few. you guys need to separate so she is okay and another commenter says my recommendation get online and do some background research on this guy he may have a criminal history that you want to know about

and it may be that knowing about it will protect your niece too your sister well you said it the trash took itself out your husband people like him are why girls are afraid they won't be believed. And finally, another person says, I'm glad your daughter has you in her corner. You wouldn't believe how often stuff like this just gets swept under the rug. It's crazy how little children are believed. As someone who works with kids, I know firsthand that while children will not always tell the truth, it's a hell of a lot easier to believe them first and foremost than to brush them off. They will always remember how you reacted to the situation and who is a safe and trusted adult, wishing you and your daughter the best O.P.

And that is the last update we have ever received from the O.P. My 30 female husband, who is 33 male of eight years, died two months ago, and I just found out he had been cheating for the past two years. First, I apologize for my English mistakes. It's not my first language. I lost my husband and my sister-in-law in a car accident about two months ago. We had been together for eight years, married for six. He was the light of my life, and someone I was extremely excited to spend the rest of my life with. We were compatible on so many parts. The intimate life was amazing, even after eight years, and I still got all giggly just by thinking about him. I think I've coped with his death quite well.

The first month was just a big shutdown. I didn't leave the house. I hardly ate, and all my time was just spent looking at our wedding video over and over again. Luckily, I have a great boss who understands and without hesitation gave me a full, month leave. In November, I pushed myself to get out of my bubble. I've tried to keep busy to get back to my everyday life. I've cleaned the house, had people over for dinners, gone out for lunches and tried to be a good support for my husband's family who lost two precious family members in one day. We are all devastated, but we cried out together and I feel

we've become even closer by being there for each other. So as I've been feeling better, I decided to slowly look over my husband's stuff to see if there's anything to throw out and put everything in boxes until I can manage to go through it all without crying. That's when I decided to access his computer to look for any important mails or such.

So I check his mail and also logged on to his Facebook account and except for over 100 goodbye messages on his wall. There were three private messages. And one was from this woman whose name I've heard him mention a long time ago as a childhood friend. I was so disgusted by their conversation filled with clear evidence that he had a long time ago as a childhood friend. filled with clear evidence that he had been cheating on me. It had places they agreed to meet, trips they've made when I thought he was on a business trip or trip with his friends, intimate flirting,

hugs and kisses, and even declarations of love. When checking his phone, there were no messages, but the last phone call was from her. Having to confirm, I called his closest friend and asked about the trips. He just paused and then apologized before telling me everything.

Apparently, he had a crush on her in middle school and awoke old feelings when she floated with him at a reunion two years ago. It seems a lot of our friends, even his secretary, knew about it, and tried to convince him. him to stop. I don't even know how to function anymore. One part of me wants to mourn for my husband. I miss him so much. I want him next to me when I go to bed. I want back our fun drives to work in the morning and I miss his warm smile. But the other part of me feels so deceived and I want nothing else but to go kick and spit on his grave until I am satisfied. A few days have passed. I haven't been able to answer any phone calls or messages from his family. I know they probably don't know and they are sincerely worrying for me, but I just can't face them with the hate

I have in me right now. I'm so frustrated and confused. I want him here to explain everything to me. So I created a Reddit account just to get this out of my system. I have no idea who to talk to about this, since most of our friends knew about it for some time, but never told me anything. I've never felt this alone and betrayed.

Please give me some wise. words to handle this. I feel strange and confused for mourning and missing him when I at the same time hate his guts. How do I face his family? Should I tell them? We just had a private funeral and in one month we're having an open reception for everyone to come and pay their respects. Now I'm worried she might come. I know it's open to. for the public, but I really don't want to meet her. Should I try and prevent it, or just skip the reception myself? Edit, oh gosh, thank you everyone from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to give me advice in a difficult situation. It helps me so much just to know that you all spend

some time of your life comforting me and giving me advice. I will spend my afternoon reading through everything and maybe in one or two weeks I'll post an update if I decided what to do with the situation. A lot of people pointed out that I need counseling and I've already booked two appointments this coming week. So I'm on it and feel very positive towards it. Once again, thank you. And now let's get into some of the top comments. One user says, I think you should be honest with his family. Not completely honest about all the details, but something like, I was going through his email and found something I wish I didn't. I still love him and am still grieving, but it's added some other feelings to my grief and I will need to process it alone for a while. I hope you understand.

They need to know that you haven't abandoned him randomly and that you will come back to them when you can. They've lost a son and daughter already. They shouldn't have to lose their daughter-in-law as well. Don't stay in touch with any of your friends who knew. One day, you may forgive them. Today is not that day. When you were at the service, be civil to them, but don't have any conversations or discussions. If they try talking to you, just walk away. You are the great. You are the great. grieving widow. There's a lot you can do to break the usual rules of politeness. Get one of the friends to tell her not to dare to show up. If she does, get the funeral director to kick her out. She has no role there, but you do. Don't skip it because of this. You will regret it.

And definitely look for grief counseling. You have way more to handle right now than any one person can. And at the same time, you can't turn to a lot of your usual support systems. You need outside help. Please get it. Do not contact her yourself. Do not contact her husband if she has one. She's just not worth it. This is about you coming to terms with two losses at the same time. It's about your husband. She has no role to play here. And another user says, Death is not an excuse for the life someone lived. And Dine does not martyrize them into someone who cannot be criticized.

And the opi replies and says, These are some really wise words. I will keep them in mind. Thank you. And someone else says, Honestly, if I found out my husband was having, an ongoing affair, even after he passed away, I would be lividly pissed. Just because he has passed away doesn't excuse or make it all right that he cheated on you.

I wouldn't tell his family. It's none of their business that he had an affair. It's yours. I would question your friends as well for not telling you. I would cut anyone out of my life that knew, but chose not to tell you. but chose not to tell me that my husband cheated on me. They took away the opportunity from you to decide whether you wanted to forgive him or not for cheating. And then we get an update a while later, and let's get into it.

I still have very confused feelings regarding my husband, and right now, I feel like there is no way to forgive him. I try to think of the great times we had together but I always find myself caught in the he knew what he was doing yet he smiled at me like that thinking I'm working on it though I've already been to three counseling sessions

and I go along great with my counselor she's helped me a lot already and I'm so glad I took your advice to get professional help after speaking with my counselor We both agreed that to ease the burden I had about not being able to face his family, I should get away from them for a few days. I sent my in-laws a mail apologizing for not answering them in the past days

and that everything has been too much for me, so I need to just get away. So using that as an excuse, I went on a spontaneous trip to Mederia, a destination I've dreamt about for a long time. It was amazing, as I'd imagined, and after coming home, I realized it was something I needed very much. I was ready to face my problems at once. After a lot of consideration, I decided to tell my brother-in-law and his wife, just so someone in his family knows of my situation. Something I did not mention in the original post is that my husband's family is very important to me.

I only have my big brother after dropping contact with our parents, so his family has always been more like a real family to me than an in-laws family. So that makes me even more worried to tell them, because I'm afraid it would put some distance between us. But at the same time, I don't have the energy to fake myself through the funeral reception for my husband, as if I have the same feelings for love for him as I've always had. Because I don't. This way my brother-in-law can take me away, or at least have some explanation if I were to lose it at a future meeting with the family.

They both took it quite well and were immediately on my side without me having to ask for it. I apologize to them both for having revealed this about such a close family member, and it was not my intention to badmouth him. But just the fact that I needed the support I could get. He said there's nothing to apologize for. The blame is on his brother, and it's nothing I should apologize for. My brother-in-law is like a big bear, and probably the nicest person I know.

But I was still nervous telling him, so I'm glad he reacted the way he did. We both agreed on waiting to tell his parents and little sister until the time was right. I go along really well with his wife. The couple lived abroad until six months ago, so I never had a good chance to meet and talk to her, but I really enjoyed her company.

Yesterday, we went for a shopping trip and dinner, and it's been a long time since I forgot about time and just enjoyed myself. So about the other woman. I don't have the strength to face or even talk to her, so I decided to entree. trust her to his closest friend, the one who told me about her, let's call him Alex, though it was a little awkward. I told him he owed me this for having kept quiet about it for so

long, even though I considered him a friend. He agreed and apologized sincerely. I know he's always been a good guy, and he told me he made a big mistake, but he didn't tell because he was always held on to the trust that my husband would end it with her as he said he would when Alex asked him to stop it. I'm still very angry, but he's the only one I can trust to make sure she's not there. And my worry's right because she didn't take the phone call from Alex well. I sat along with him from the phone call and we had her on the speaker and during the whole time I was furious. He didn't tell her I knew at first,

and she seriously had planned to be there at the reception right in front of me. When she wouldn't budge, even though he asked nicely that she can go to his grave, but she won't be welcomed at the reception, he told her that I knew everything. She went quiet. Alex told her that she's hurt me

and that she should understand it's not acceptable for her to be in my presence during the reception. What she said next was a mix of sorry that she loved them. The rest was just incoherent. And then she hung up. Alex has been trying to reach her two times since, but no answer. I think she got it that she's not welcome.

But I have already arranged for Alex and two other friends to be at the entrance to welcome people and stop her if she were to come. and apparently she has a boyfriend since about nine months back. I'm not sure what to do about that yet. I'll deal with my own problems first. So that was my update. I have dinner with my in-laws tonight, which I'm looking forward to. Overall, I'm okay.

As mentioned above, I'm still confused about my husband. But I guess time will show how I deal with the situation. It feels good that some people around me know about my situation so they can be there to support me and understand if I behave strangely. Thank you to everyone who posted on my original post. I think I may be read through all of your advice over four times. It was a great help in making my decision and helping me through my sadness. As many of you have seen, I have used your advice.

So thank you once again. And one of the top comments says, I am so sorry this happened. It sounds like you're coping admirably well. I'm so glad your in-laws are being supportive. I think the security at the reception sounds like a great idea, though I hope it turns out not to be necessary. And another user says,

whoa, I am so sorry you're going through all this. and I'm glad you have a strong support system. Remember, you don't have to feel anything specific right now. You are entitled to grieve for the husband you had or thought you did until two weeks ago and still feel justifiably angry with him. I'm also glad you're seeing a counselor who eventually I hope will help you come to terms with the situation. Right now, just do whatever. feels right at the moment for you and we have never heard from the op ever again and all right guys

that wraps up four whole hours of some unhinged write-at-threads i hope you found today's video interesting if you did please please leave a like i've been recording all day long trying to get this out my voice is sore and my eyes are sore from reading all this text. But it's been a very, very interesting video. These Reddit threads have just been wild, beyond wild. And I'd really love to hear you guys' thoughts. So please comment down below. Every single comment means the world, and I read every single comment.

So whatever feedback, criticism, love, or whatever you want to comment down below, please comment it. I read every single one. And like I said, please like the video and subscribe to the channel. I mean, if you watched to the end of a four hour long video, that means you enjoy the channel enough. And also, please check out some other videos on the channel if you enjoyed this one. And your guys' support means the world. And once again, thank you guys so much for watching.

You guys truly are amazing. And yeah, once again, thank you guys so much for watching. And this was Snook. And I'll see you next time. Bye.