Snook - Deranged Confession Threads

Episode Date: February 23, 2026

From the depressing confession of a user who had to shoot a dog... to an emailer who confessed a deranged story of bullying which led to unintended consequences.... these are some Deranged Confession Threads. These stories are truly some of the most deranged and depressing stories I've ever read, I hope every OP and emailer in this video is doing better now. Would you like to see me make similar videos in the future? Leave your thoughts down below in the comment section, and make sure to like and subscribe!Send a confession to be read! [e-mail] the Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/SnookYTFollow me on instagram and Spotify!If your story or post was included in today's video and you wish for it to be taken down, please reach out to this email. [e-mail] And yes, I'm a human voice.NEXT SUB GOAL - 1,000,000 subscribers! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey, what's up guys and welcome back to the channel. And today we're getting into some deranged confession threads where I get into some of your guys's confessions and some confessions from Reddit. So it's a wild mix. And yeah, like the title says, we're getting into some deranged confessions and they are sad. They're wild. And they are just, yeah, shocking. So you'll want to stick around. Please like the video and subscribe to the channel.

It helps more than you know. And if you'd like to see your confession and a future video, please send it to the email. email on screen now. Thank you so much. And yeah, this video will be long enough already. So without further ado, let's get into some deranged confession threads. I just shot my dog. My wife found a stray last week that loved our young daughter more than anything. This dog had followed her around from outside the daycare fence playing with her through the fence for three days before my wife decided to see if she could catch him. After much coaxing, he got her into the car and she brought him home.

He was a little black and white rat terrier looking mutt. And in true kiddo fashion, our daughter decided to that a black and white dog's name is going to be Marshall because Paw Patrol. Well, Marshall and kiddo are fast friends. Chasing each other around, playing nonstop. It was beautiful. Marshall wasn't without fault though.

He was so attached to her that several times he tried to defend our daughter from the other dogs we have, so he didn't quite trust them yet. We even considered getting rid of him after the first day when he jumped our 122-pound shepherd mix for trying to get pets from our daughter. That was truly scary, as she was right in the mix and I yanked her up into the air from between them as they briefly fought it out. Luckily, she was not hurt, but it really had us worried. We decided to stick it out and give Marshall a chance because of how strong he'd bonded with daughter and just how pure their love was. We brought him home a week ago, and he'd made great strides, not fighting with the other dogs

besides the occasional growl, and he'd started herding our goats around, really living his best life, and we felt like we could keep working with him and get him to be a part of the family. Tonight, I let him out for a bathroom break, as I looked for an additional in-ground fence collar that the shepherd mix has to keep on him from going out under the gate. but still lets him roam around the whole property without wandering into the neighbor's land and getting into their cows. He was seriously injured doing that, when young and I know in-ground collars aren't well received, but it was better than him almost dying again, and it works great. I'd found the extra collar, got a new battery into it,

and was headed outside to test it before putting it on Marshall to make sure he would stick to our property, and I saw him. lying in the tree line at the edge of the front yard by the gate. Not moving. I went over to him and saw he had a swollen belly, a severely injured leg that was broken in several places, was not getting up and I could tell he'd been hit by a car. I'm a first responder,

and I knew that the way his leg was bent up and the swelling at his hips meant his pelvis was broken, and the swollen belly was from internal bleeding. and there was zero chance he would survive. I carried him inside, and as I did, I knew he was on borrowed time, as I could feel how his broken hips really were even though I was carrying him as gently as I could. He didn't even whine. He was so far gone already.

I brought him to his bed, laid him down as comfortably as I could, and told the family. We got our daughter and told her that, Marshall had a really bad boo-boo that we couldn't fix. She understands what death is a bit more than most three years old because of farm life, but it's still very limited. And we told her he was not going to make it. She asked if he was going to die, and we told her that Marshall was going to die.

We're religious, so we told her that I had to take him out into the woods so he could be with Jesus, and Jesus would take him away so he wouldn't hurt anymore. She asked a bunch of questions that we answered as best as we could. She hugged and kissed Marshall. She said goodbye to him and then told me she'd be okay. Many tears were shed. So I bundled Marshall up in a towel and brought him to a quiet area in the woods. I laid him down, thanked him for loving my daughter so much,

and bringing her so much joy this past week. And I apologize to him. I told him I was sorry that he got hurt, that I was sorry that our attempts to make his life better ended the way it had, and I apologize for how much the walk out here must have hurt. His pupils were huge from the shock. His gums were gray, and his whole face had gone cold, and his breaths were shallow.

As I stepped back, thanked him again, apologize, told him I loved him. and shot him. The pain was gone, and I know I did the right thing for him, especially since the closest emergency vet is an hour or so away, so he would die painfully long before he could be properly euthanized. But it still doesn't feel good. Daughter told us that she would dream about Marshall tonight,

so he could feel better in her dreams after story time before bed, and that broke us both again. So she consoled us and told us it would be okay. because Jesus would always take good care of Marshall now and that he doesn't live at our house anymore. So we just cuddled up, quietly crying with her, until she went to sleep. This is a huge wall of text,

but I got to get it out there because it sucks and I need it off my chest. It was less than one week. Tuesday to Sunday, but dang. He was a part of the family already and was easily our daughter's best friend for that week. We gave Marshall a house, we cleaned his dirty fur, gave him a bed, food, water, and a best friend for one week of his lonely life living on the streets.

And I keep telling myself that even though it ended abruptly, that one week was worth it for him. And it should be worth it for me too. Viewer Confession Hello, Snook, before I start, I'd like to thank you. Your video is carrying me through work a lot, but carrying on, here is my confession. Sorry if it's long or my grammar is bad. I abused my classmates' dog.

When I was a preteen, I used to pick on a kid. For this story, I won't be using his real name, but I'll use something he goes by so that, on the off chance he somehow sees this, he can hear it and hopefully get closure from my actions. So, Dedact, if you're seeing this, I truly. am sorry. Didact was very introverted, as he didn't speak much because he was self-conscious about his Lisp. At the time, I didn't know much about him. I just thought it was funny because he sounded different.

I tormented him for so long as he knew kid at school solely so I could fit in with the wrong people. Until one day, he finally spoke to me. This was the first time I had ever heard him speak to me directly. He spoke calmly and only said one thing. Why are you like this? Then he began to turn his back to me. At the time, it caused an explosion within me.

I won't use it as an excuse, but my late mother would always say that to me whenever I acted out, and it made me angry. I tried to sucker punch him while he wasn't facing me. I don't know how he pulled it off, but he ducked without even looking and did some kind of karate-looking kick that I didn't even have time to register before it knocked me out. I was suspended.

It didn't take long for me to become the main joke for that semester because not only did I bully a kid, but the kid I bullied knocked me out in less than 10 seconds. I couldn't take it, so I started trying to find some way to hurt him. I knew I clearly could beat him. I found out he fought a lot, mainly because of people like me, so he was naturally quite good at it. So, I went for the thing he cherished the most. His dog. Daisy. She was everywhere you saw him outside of school.

She was on the wallpaper of every device he owned, and if he was outside, that dog was always with him. I knew how much he loved her. Skipping some details, I found her. She was near my backyard at the time. I have no idea why, but I assumed she ran off.

I took my grandfather's cane and beat her. I hurt her so badly that I thought I had killed her. I went back inside without even bothering to clean up what I'd done. And for some sick reason, I felt fulfilled and happy. I still can't escape the hate I feel for myself for taking joy in hurting a living creature. But she survived. She's still alive to this day. Even so, Dedak was devastated.

It hurt him so much that he did something unthinkable to something. someone else. And it's all my fault. My grandfather at the time was known to dislike that dog because she would constantly sneak into his yard. So if you can guess where this is going, everybody in that neighborhood thought my grandfather did it. It didn't help that the first side to Dact was greeted with when he knocked on the door was my grandfather's discarded bloody cane lying on the porch. He lost it. He beat my grandfather so badly, it nearly paralyzed. He realized him. My grandpa was a good person.

He was a veteran, and despite him not liking Daisy, I knew he loved animals almost as much as didact himself. He would never have hurt a dog. But because of me, his name is still ruined, even after death because people think he was some cruel old man who beat a little kid's pet nearly to death and faced the consequences. And it's all my fault. I know the destruction I caused won't go away with this confession,

but if you're seeing this to act, you surely know who I am. You're smart enough to figure it out. I'm sorry from the bottom of my heart. I regret my actions, and I hope you grow into an even better person than you already are. I hope your career in animal rescue succeeds, and I wish Daisy a long and healthy life. I doubt this will be on time, but happy late birthday to your canine best friend. And thank you, Snook. In advance, if you go over this story, I'm not the person I once was, and I hope you and

everybody else can forgive me for my cruel actions. I'm now a doctor, and every day I hope my good deeds will outweigh the bad. The reason I didn't confess this earlier is because at the time I was afraid of him, but now that we're both adults, I respect him and everybody else who can see the true value of life. There is no innate hierarchy of value. We are all living beings who just want to live our lives. harming one, no matter what creature it is, is an unforgivable act.

I just hope others can learn from the lesson I have. And I just have one quick thing to say to you and some feedback to this horrifying confession. Please, that apology you just wrote to me or that apology you just wrote out, please send that to deduct. You have it written out. You feel sorry. Why are you banking on him seeing this video? Why are you waiting for him to see my video or see this video?

And instead of just reaching out to him personally, please. And even if you guys have each other blocked on social media or whatever, reach out to his girlfriend or wife or mom or dad or brother, or sister or friend or whatever, please reach out to him personally and forgive him. I mean, what you did to him was horrible. There's no downplaying that. You beat his dog nearly to death because he loved his dog, and you bullied him for things he couldn't control.

So please, the one thing I have to say is please reach out to the act. I mean, I'm sure he's still thinking about this. Years later, you know, such a horrible situation and a horrible thing you did, no doubt about it. but please just reach out to him and personally apologize. And he doesn't have to forgive you. He doesn't have to forgive you at all. But I think he deserves an apology for what you did for him. And so please, like I said, don't bank on him seeing this video.

I mean, I don't, the chances of that are very, very low. I have to bet. And so please just reach out to him personally and say I'm sorry. And tell him exactly what you told me. all of the things you said. And, you know, hopefully he can forgive you. And if he doesn't, oh well. But at least you apologize to him.

I don't care that my drug addict's sister is homeless and may lose a limb. If that makes me a bad person, so be it. My sister is a drug addict. Me, 29 female, her 30 female. She's never had a legal prescription for opioids. She's never had an injury that would mean she needed that. them. I haven't spoke to her in almost a decade. My parents are still in contact with her. I'm tired of them enabling my sister and trying to get me to reestablish contact.

My parents have informed me that my sister is homeless again and she is close to losing a limb. Maybe I'm a bad person, but I don't care. They told me the drug supply in the U.S. is contaminated and it has now made its way to our province and tainted the supply. There is some kind of tranquilizer in them that makes limbs rot and die. They want to move my sister into their house and say they need my help to pay for rehab again. When she first started using drugs 11 years ago, I gave up my measly savings to help my parents pay for her stay in the rehab. I participated in family therapy.

As soon as she got out, she went right back to using drugs again. She told me she would trade my life for drugs. Oh man. after that I cut off contact since then she's been in rehab again she's been to prison she lies and steals this isn't the first time she's been homeless

I don't even know the number of times she's OD'd the most insane part of this is that she's been told by multiple doctors she will lose her limb but she keeps on doing exactly that and doing it even the threat of losing a limb

isn't enough to stop her from using. I told my parents I don't care, and they are angry. But I also told them to never mention her to me ever again. If it makes me a bad person, so be it. She's dead to me, and I'm sick of my parents enabling her. She is selfish, and I want nothing to do with this. And we didn't get an update for three months from the OP. A lot of people in the comments were trying to reassure

that it's a very hard situation and they understand whatever choice she does make, whether to help or not her sister, that's what most of the comments are saying, and three months later, she makes an update. Just a warning that some people may find this next

bit to be disturbing. The limb is gone. My sister had to have amputated not long after my last post. It's been almost two months since she lost the limb and she is still using drugs. Losing a limb wasn't enough of a wake-up call.

She did not go to fall-up appointments and didn't go to rehab. Instead, she went to the streets and is continuing to use drugs. My parents, 55 female and 55 male, had been letting my 29 female, sister 30F, stay with them because she ended up homeless again. But she would either leave to go back to the streets or bring drugs into the house. I took a step back from my parents and was local,

contact because they wouldn't stop asking me to help her and also to pay for her rehab again. Now I have completely stopped talking to them because they say it's my fault. What happened to her? Wow. Multiple doctors told my sister she would lose that limb. Yet she continued to do it. Somehow it's my fault though. I was so angry when my parents said that. I had already been no contact with my sister for a long time over her drug use. Now, it'll be the same. for my parents as far as I'm concerned they all burn that bridge and there's no going back I'm done with the three of them to reiterate what I said in my last post I don't care if not helping my sister makes me a bad person so anyone telling me to have compassion for her can save it

also this wasn't a case of her having an injury and a legal prescription that was out of control by my sister's own admission she started taking opioids at parties and because it was fun Now the drug supply in our province is tainted, and the doctors warner several times what would happen if she kept doing it. Even after everything that happened, she is still using. She is the only one responsible for what happened to her. And this is just such a sad situation. Not only did the opi lose their sister, but they also lost their parents. And I find it utterly disgusting that the parents are blaming the opi.

for what happened to her. That is so, so wrong and disgusting, in my opinion. I mean, obviously the parents are in a complete shitstorm of things going on. I mean, I can't imagine. But for you to blame your daughter and say it's her fault for your sister's drug addiction and also it's your fault for her losing a limb, how? I mean, the OP outlined in the last post. she spent all her savings for the first round of rehab and it didn't work.

She went through all her savings. I mean, that showed her love. Why would she do it again to herself? She knows that her sister has a problem in it. She's too far gone. So I'm interested to see what you guys think on this. Do you think the O.P. should have compassion or not? I mean, I understand what the O.P is saying completely.

And I totally understand why the O.P. cut off complete contact with the both of them. They both don't love the sister. I mean, also, let's not forget, the O.P. sister said she would trade her life for drugs. That is even crazier. And so why would the O.P. Have compassion for her sister? Because obviously her sister doesn't have compassion for her in the slightest. Obviously, she's in the deep hell of addiction, but that doesn't change what she said. and so for the OP to cut off contact, I have to say I understand. And let's get into some of the top comments.

Someone says, as a former addict, I understand this. You have to protect yourself, and the addict needs to hit a bottom in order to change. Trying to help them can just enable their addiction and prevent them from ever recovering. The sad thing is that everyone's bottom or point that makes them realize they need to change is different. Some never hit this point

and will either die or wind up in prison or both. that may be the case for your sister. I'm sure on some level you love and care for your sister. The problem is that addiction changes a person into someone else. Your sister has burned you repeatedly and isn't the same person you knew before addiction. Don't feel bad for not loving that person, but understand that if your sister can get clean, her old self will hopefully come back. I feel for you and all the families that are destroyed by this terrible disease.

Someone else says, I mentioned this on OP's other posts, but I'm commenting it over here so people can realize just how messed up and tragic the sister's situation is. The tainted drugs OP mentions in her post is due to something called, aka Trank, is an animal tranquilizer, which is being added to opioids and other drugs.

If you are attempted to do an online search for wear, the pictures are gruesome. This is what happened to O.P.'s sister's limb. And then a commenter replies to when the O.P. said, quote, I took a step back from my parents and was low contact because they wouldn't stop ask me to help her and also to pay for rehab again. Now I have completely stopped talking to them because they say it's my fault what happened to her. And the comment to reply saying, it sounds like your parents are inappropriate to this, make this a burden to be shifted on you,

and they should have paid for her rehab and not you. Myself, I tend to not have as much compassion for addicts who took drugs due to curiosity. For entertainment or fun, when so many efforts have been put forth into public campaigning against doing drugs, never mind real-life examples of addicts themselves. So, yes, she's your sister, is responsible for what's happened to her. It sounds like your parents may be enabling her. Someone else says, your parents are just wanting someone to be mad at. It has to be everyone and everything else's fault that she's this bad. An addict has to want to stop. And it's obvious she doesn't want to. You paying for rehabs and saving her. her over and over again will do nothing. If anything, it just buys her more time.

We tried everything for my mom, but her children, her family, her husband, and her friends weren't enough of a reason to stop. Hitting rock bottom and losing everything and everyone else was not a wake-up call. Getting Hepatac, I'm not even going to try to pronounce that word, and almost dying was not enough, so I just had to step away. I won't destroy my life for someone who doesn't care. And I think that final line in that commenter's comment, comments sums it up pretty well. The O.P.'s sister doesn't care.

Doesn't care about her sister, doesn't care about her family, doesn't care about her own personal well-being, her body, et cetera. So why would the O.P. destroy their life and everything, just, yeah, uprooped their entire lives and just spend all their money,

spend all their time, spend all their time caring for someone who doesn't love them. back. So I think that final line of that final comment summed it up pretty well, but I just really, really wish the OP well, and I hope they're doing better now. And I just hope that the OP sister can recover from this addiction and turn their life around. But I guess we'll have to wait and see if we get another updates. But yeah, I just really hope this situation turns around. I found my wife's body in the closet yesterday.

Pretty self-explanatory. I left for work at 9 the night before, got off early since it was my weekend, and went upstairs to find she'd committed S-word from our closet door and a rope. She suffered from mental health issues most of her life, and I guess I knew this might happen one day, but I didn't think it would be yesterday.

The police came and went, we're sorry for your loss. Some friends came and picked me up, I'll be staying in the guest room for a bit, I guess. My family came to pick up my son. He'll be three in April. My sister-in-law is going to look after him, so at least I'll have his cousins to play with him.

I had to comfort her mother, who blames herself. I had to call my job to tell him that I needed some time. I had to call estranged friends, having them disseminate to others I couldn't reach, got drunk, took an Ambien. Slept. Went to the car wash with a friend. Stayed there until 3 a.m.

Watch space jam when I got back. Talked to my dead wife in the rain. It's been a roller coaster of tears and laughter and silence, and I have so many questions that can wait. The weirdest thing is, though, I'm feeling intensely aroused, and I'm having trouble falling asleep. Normally, I jerk it to help myself,

drift off and believe me. I want to. But I don't think I can. Looking at adult videos seems disrespectful and I can't close my eyes without seeing her. So here I am wide awake, spilling my guts into the void. Yesterday was the worst day of my life. And I'm worried about jerking it. God help me. Edit. I just wanted to say how grateful I am for everyone who reached out this morning. I want to say so much more, but everything I type looks wrong. My son and I will be okay. My wife is in no more pain. I have the most wonderful group of people sitting in this room with me right now. I'm not angry. Not with my wife, anyhow. I'm angry with her disease, but I couldn't have asked the girl I married to go on hurting anymore. If you or someone you know is suffering from

mental health problems. Let someone know. Let someone try. Fight like hell. Kiss your wife when you leave for work. Something I can't explain happened to me and it's destroying my life. I'm not crazy.

I don't have never and will never use drugs, not even pot. I haven't drank since college. and even then it was just with my girl because she was a partier. I am by all means sane. Or at least I was before something bizarre and terrifying happened to me early morning during the summer of 2022. I have told nobody about this.

Not a damn soul. If I even mention it to anybody, they would immediately question my mental state. This throwaway account is the only place this story will be. I'm only typing this out on myself, phone because I need some relief for this turmoil in my head. Every time someone mentions secrets, anything paranormal, or even, you'll never believe what I saw, my blood runs cold.

I get goosebumps and my eyes tear up. I'm a prison in my own mind. And I hope, beyond hope, posts my story here somehow calms this situation I have going on. If it helps someone else, so be it. But I'll be honest. I'm writing this for me. I'm uncomfortable with talking about this, not because I'm a skeptic, but because I know beyond any shred of a doubt that something paranormal happened to me.

The backstory. My car registration was not paid up because my state said they will not be penalizing drivers through the pandemic. Registration is very expensive in the state, and my hours had naturally been cut during the pandemic, so I opted to not pay it. Well, my apartment, man, did not agree and decided to put a notice on my windshield that having expired tags is a violation of the lease agreement and cars with expired tags will be towed at the owner's expense and residents

will face possible eviction for repeated violations completely insane eviction reasons aside i couldn't afford my car being towed if i couldn't afford paying the reggie in the first place so i honestly opted to park my car at my parents' house, just two blocks away from my place. This made it an easy morning walk to get to my car and drive to work, which was also nearby. I made this walk for months. The walk was nice and my mom would drive me home. Don't judge me. My mom is awesome and she was happy to spare me from the 100 plus degree summer heat. The route I had to walk took me behind their house. Their backyard was one of those city-maintained cinder block walls with a major road right on the other side.

One morning, I was making the walk, and I randomly got the idea to hop the wall to save myself five minutes of walking. I wasn't in a hurry. I gave myself plenty of time. This is an odd choice since the wall isn't super sturdy, and it is very tall and rough. Without second-guessing, the choice I grabbed the top of the wall, put my foot on it,

and hurtled right up and over in one motion. I even surprised myself with how athletic of a move it was. I started walking to the house and something stopped me dead in my tracks. A fucking gnome. Yes, a fucking gnome. You're probably rolling your eyes and smirking right now. But I'm dead serious. I don't know how else to describe it.

It was about a foot tall and walking around like it was patrolling the area. It was not human like at all. It acted almost like a bug or a robot. It had a little spear-like tool with it, and its action seemed deliberate and dutiful. What's really fucked is that I could feel its thoughts. Not telepathy, but I could just feel that it was where I could see it. While I absolutely froze with fear,

it opened its mouth and silently screamed to some unseen comrades. It wasn't scared of me, but it was absolutely going, apes shit about the fact I could see it. I stood there, totally frozen, and unable to move while its lower jaw, just silently rattled back and forth, still howling silently. Its fear turned into frustration, and suddenly, I was back on the other side of the wall, walking about a minute before I was behind my parents' house and decided to make the jump.

I was fully aware of what happened, and I still could feel my heart and my ears. I just kept walking. I passed their backyard, completely terrified, of what was just on the other side of the wall. I just kept walking. Tears were streaming down my face as I made the only turn to the small connecting street and another right into the street which I grew up on. I just kept walking.

I thought about waking my parents up and telling them what I saw. I contemplated going to the backyard and grabbing a shovel and looking for that little alien gnome fucker. But instead, I dutifully and automatically pulled my keys from my pocket and calmly opened the car door, started the engine, and drove off toward work like I always did. I got to work at 545, 15 minutes before my shift started. I wanted to stay in my car and call my wife to cry to her and beg her to tell me it was a dream or a hallucination or something.

I was beside myself, but instead I just got out of the car and walked inside to make a cup of coffee like I always do. It wasn't like I was in a trance, it was like someone else was calling the shots and I was spectating. As soon as I got to my work area

and greeted my coworker, the spectating stopped and I was in full control again. But my heart wasn't raised, and I wasn't horrified. I was just normal me. I can't explain it well, and I know that doesn't make sense. But that's what happened.

My mind and body weren't one for about 20 minutes. Then suddenly, they were, and it was just okay. Now you know why this still has me fucked up to this day? What the actual fuck were those things? Why did I choose to scale the wall that morning? and impulsive choices are so unlike me, it's crazy to even think that I would do that. But I did do that. Want to know how I know?

My fingertips were cut up from the top of the wall. They were dirty and raw from pulling my weight up the wall. I'm in tears writing this. This hits home. This really happened to me, and I can never tell anyone this. I finally gathered the courage to tell you random internet, strangers, and it was so much harder than I thought it would be. Hopefully getting this off my chest somehow helps me get past this because I've been genuinely

traumatized by this experience. Am I really in control of me? Are there some little weird assholes behind the scenes controlling our lives? Guarding us? From what? I'm so lost and I have literally zero answers. I'm not religious and I've prayed for answers. I have nothing but trauma and anger.

Thanks for reading. Go ahead and tell me I'm crazy or I had a stroke or something. Let's hear it. And now let's get into some comments. Someone says you might be having a psychotic break, but after the way the last five years have been, I'm rooting for gnomes are real and they can scoot us around in time. The world needs a little magic.

Someone else says, I can't give you answers on what you saw, but it is possible that you went into flight or fight mode and your brain disassociated to try and protect itself. Your whole description of not feeling in control of your body and just going through the motions to continue your routine sounds very similar to disassociation. With how terrified you're describing yourself to have been, it is a possibility.

Someone replies to that saying, I agree with this. I'm not going to say if the gnome was real or not, but even if it were, it wasn't controlling you, O.P., your brain was just in panic mode. So you can rest easier on that part, I think. Someone else comments saying, this does not sound like a schizophrenic episode,

and even though I don't know you, if this is the first time you've experienced something like this, I doubt very much you have schizophrenia. I've worked in mental health for six years now, and these are the most common presentations of schizophrenia. age of onset is between 17 to 25 years old. Typically, you won't experience symptoms before or after those ages. However, outliers do exist.

Delusions can be violent or paranoid. Some delusions are harmless. It depends on the person's culture and their particular symptoms. My point is, a one-time experience like this does not indicate schizophrenia or any kind of psychotic breakdown. I think the most probable explanation would be a heat-induced hallucination. In your text, you wrote that it was hot during your walks and sometimes in the hundreds-degree-wise. That's enough to make anyone hallucinate. And then, surprisingly, a lot of the comments are of people saying that they also have seen gnomes,

and they believe the O.P. Which is just wild to me. I have never seen anyone on the internet before claim they've seen noms. I mean, I've spent a lot of time on the internet. I do. And this is the first time I've seen such a large group of people claiming they have seen gnomes. So maybe gnomes or seen gnomes is a common symptom of some kind of psychotic break.

I mean, everyone watching right now, have you ever seen gnomes before? Like, am I the only one that's never heard of this? But, yeah, everyone in the comment section is like, yeah, I saw it back in my day. What? And I mean, it just seems to me like the opiate. had a psychotic break of some sort or heat-induced hallucinations or something like that, but the O.P makes an edit to his original post responding to a lot of these comments. He says, thank you to everyone who commented.

Typing this out did not immediately grant me any type of relief or solace, and I regretted it almost immediately. But after reading the comments, as they came flooding in, I realized that it's okay that I had this huge life-changing event. My turmoil and anger has come from the fact that something happened to me and no matter the cause, I have to deal with it alone. I still am not going to tell anyone whom I know what I experienced. But having so many anonymous strangers stop by and tell me on Reddit to stay positive absolutely has helped me way more than I could imagine. It's okay to have unexplainable phenomena happen and just move forward. The impact this event has had on me is absolutely absurd.

I didn't get much into it on my original post, but every time the subject of mystery, magic, secrets, sanity, or anything even indirectly related to what happened came up, I'd get angry, sweaty, become distant and shorts with my loved ones, and just totally shift in my personality. Several commenters have identified the possibility of me suffering from PTSD from this. I never would have accepted that I need medical help

if I didn't post this message for Reddit. I'm glad I put myself out there because this genuinely is destroying my life. Now I see a peaceful path forward. My wife suffers from PTSD, what some might call actual PTSD because it stems from several very violent episodes directed at her when she was young. Thanks to the positive reactions to the comments here, I talked to her about anxiety, PTSD, and what she does to help herself. I told her I'm just under lots of stress and would love if we could revisit some of the meditation techniques I remember her doctor having her due early on in our relationship. She happily obliged without prying into my situation and even mentioned she noticed I've been off for a little while now. Side note. Someone please direct me on where I can nominate her for a wife of the year award.

She's just fantastic. Anyway, I just want to say a big thank you to everyone here who commented. There are many mixed opinions below about what actually happened. Some people think I'm making it up. Some people think I'm batshit crazy or had a brief episode of schizophrenia. Some people believe me and even opened up about similar events in their own lives. One thing was common with nearly every comment. Everyone wished me well.

You guys are so overwhelmingly positive that pretty much every single comment showed me you are invested in my well-being. Sure, there were a few trolls, but, genuinely you guys all want me to be happy and healthy going forward. I owe it to all of you wonderful people to prioritize my health and my family's well-being so I can move past this insane one-off event in my life. For the record, I believe it really happened and I believe there are some mysterious forces that we can't comprehend at play around us. For some reason, it manifested itself as a gnome and turned my life upside down. I don't know why it happened to me.

but I know that it did happen. And I just have to say that I hope the O.P. gets the help he needs because I'm not going to sit here and be an armchair psychiatrist and be like, well, I think this and that, and I think he has this. No, I'm not going to do that. But, I mean, you can just tell. You can just tell from this post that he needs help. He saw a gnome and he said it ruined his life.

And I just think he needs to go talk to somebody. who can maybe help him calm down from this and recognize that it wasn't real or, you know, just to move on from this. Because, I mean, he said multiple times in here that it ruined his life. And so this obviously was a pivotal point in his life for, I guess just the gnome. It was very weird, but I still think he needs to get help. It's obviously not normal to see gnomes, no matter which way you put it. And so I just hope the O.P. gets the help he needs because he does seem like he's a little bit off his rocker here and there. I'm not going to sit here and try to diagnose him with anything or whatever, but it doesn't seem like he's all there.

And I just hope he gets the helping needs because, yeah, it's just very important to get help when you might think you need it. And I think the OPE here might need it. I ghosted my family and fiancé after what my sister did. I need a little advice on the matter, as I don't know what to do anymore. I was 21 when my fiancé asked me to marry him. He was the absolute light of my life. We had known each other since preschool. Our families are very close.

He would come and have dinner with us on a daily basis and vice versa. He doesn't have any siblings, but I have two older sisters, which is very important as he was also very close with them. We grew up. When we started dating, I don't think our parents stopped celebrating for weeks. He helped me deal with a lot of my anxiety, and even when I gained a little weight and my mother berated me saying he was going to leave me, he told her off and said he loved me for who I was,

not for what I looked like. Even though he claimed I was the most beautiful girl in the world to him, we were only engaged for six months before the incident. My middle oldest sister, let's call her Nikki, was a very cold person. She never showed any affection. She only ever opened up to my fiancé, as she said she saw him as a brother,

and he also helped her through a lot of dark times, such as battling drug addictions and breaking the law. She and I never saw eye to eye. I loved her dearly because she was my sister, but I didn't like her as a person. Out of the blue, she tells me, she wants to take me clubbing as we had never been together before, and she felt bad that she was so distanced to me.

I agreed, and that night we went out. Clubbing wasn't really my style, but once I had a few drinks, I loosened up a little and began having fun. The night was going smoothly until Nikki spotted a guy across the room who she claimed she wanted to climb like a tree. She walked over to him,

and within a few minutes she was back and she had a sour expression on her face. I asked her what was up, but she never said anything. I kept pressing because I didn't want her night to be ruined. She then told me the guy didn't want her number, but he wanted mine instead. I told her he was a loser, and there were plenty of guys around who would kill to be with a girl like her. She didn't budge, though.

She told me she needed to use the restroom, and then we would leave. I waited for over an hour. During this time, I was sipping on a lot of different cocktails. I then started feeling really dizzy and lightheaded. I figured I'd just cab at home as I was certain Nikki had left. On the way out, though, I bumped into a friend of Nicky's whom she had briefly dated. He asked me if I needed a hand in my car, and I explained I was getting a cab. He said he was getting ready to leave, and we could share one.

I told him okay, and we walked out of the club together and into the first cab we saw. I tried to find my phone in my purse, but I felt myself getting dizzier, and dizzier. I don't remember what happened next as I blacked out. In the next morning, I woke up on a hard sofa, my head pounding. When I came to, I realized I was in Nikki's friend's house, and my phone was sitting on the glass table in front of me, but it was flat. When he noticed I was awake, he offered some tablets and water, and explained that I'd passed out in the cab, and he didn't remember my parents' address, so he just picked me up and took me back here, where he laid me on the sofa.

I told him I needed to go home as my fiancé would be worried. He called a cab and I left. When I arrived at my parents' house, my mother, father, my fiancé and his parents were all standing in the living room. I thought they were worried about me, but the instant I opened my mouth, my fiancé asked,

how could I do this to him? I tried to explain that my phone went flat, but he then went on screaming about, how could I cheat on him? I was baffled. Why would he think that? I tried to explain the night's events, but I kept getting cut off. Nikki then chimed in and said I was a line,

and how could I be so heartless to a man who has been there for me through thick and thin? She went on to say I kept flirting with random guys all night, and then when she went to the bathroom, she saw me leave with her friend. I told her what had happened, and she showed me photos on her phone, where, as we are leaving, his hand was on my back, ushering me outside. Yes, the photo did look horrible, and I was so drunk I didn't even realize his hand was on my back at all. My fiancé was so angry. He kept shouting, and his mom and mine were both crying.

I then asked Nikki to call her friend, and he would confirm nothing happened, but when she called him, he told a completely different story. He said I begged him to take me back to his. And when he did, we slept together multiple times. I saw Red and started crying and yelling at Nikki because I knew she had organized this whole thing to make me look bad. I begged my fiancé to believe me, but he just shook his head and left. When everyone had cleared out, my mother slapped me across the face and told me to get out. I left and went to a friend's house where I stayed for a few nights.

During those nights I called my fiancé crying and pleading with him to believe me that nothing happened, but it all fell on deaf ears as he never returned any of my calls or texts. My mom texted me and told me she was kicking me out and that she couldn't believe I would do such a thing and a lot of hurtful other slurs I don't think I could even repeat here. She didn't even give me time to get my things as she threw everything out. I was now homeless. none of my family would take me in, as they chose my fiancé and mother's side.

I was homeless and single in less than a day and a half. My entire world had been taken away because of Nikki's lies. Now for weeks, I tried everything to get my fiancé back in my family. The limit for me, though, was when Christmas time had come, and I went over to my mother's house to try and reconcile. I was sleeping from couch to couch during this time. When I got to my parents' house, I knocked on the door, but no one answered. My friend then called me and told me she just saw on Facebook that my family were in another state celebrating Christmas, and they had posted pictures online.

Everyone was there. My sisters, parents, grandparents, and even my fiancé and his family. When I myself saw the photos, I couldn't stop crying as they all look so happy. I cried for days and days before deciding to block them all. I even returned my engagement ring. My friend knew someone a couple hours away who was looking for some help in his restaurant, and he even had leaving arrangements above where he worked so I could even rent cheap and work at the same time. I wanted to start over with my life, as it hurt me that no one took my side,

and they all left me to fend for myself. I was able to move pretty quickly and was doing well. The apartment was tiny, and I had to work 10 plus hours. almost every day, but I was able to save a lot of money. I'm not living in the apartment anymore. I was able to rent a much nicer condo, but I'm still working at the restaurant as assistant manager. Now, it has been roughly two years since I left and have not spoken to any of my family. I have no idea what it's going on with them until I got a knock on my door. It was my ex-fiance. I was shocked to say the least. All these feelings came rushing back and all I wanted to

do was jump into his arms. But then I remember the pain I'd felt and tried to slam the door in his face, but he stopped it and asked that I let him explain. He said that Nikki had gotten married and she had confessed that she lied about this situation because she had found someone she loved so much and realized what a horrible thing she had done. I asked him how he found me and he said my friend told him. My entire family have been trying to get in touch with me and wanted to see me. I told him I needed time to see if I even wanted to have them in my life. He left and I've been a mess since. I don't know what to do.

I know I will never ever forgive Nikki. She could rot for all I cared but it's hard because my other family and fiancé didn't know she was lying. But I also felt like they abandoned me too quickly without letting me explain my side. I don't know if I should forgive them. Any advice would be much helpful. Thank you for taking the time to read. And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says,

frankly, I do not think I can forgive your ex-fiancee or your family for abandoning you so quickly based on an incident that didn't even occur. It's all well and good for them to be sorry, but they didn't even have to completely reinvent themselves on their own the way you did. I would it be quick to forgive or to forget. And then someone else says, you deserve an amazing life and you need to think carefully about the family and fiancé who dropped you so quickly. Plus, your sister is a psychopath, and that's me being polite.

She puts you in such a position of danger for her own gain and destroyed your life. I can't believe also, given her past, that your parents would side with her on this. Someone else says, I'm petty AF, and I would request a meeting with the family and sister's husband, and in front of him, I would tell him how she drugged you and gave to you a stranger to do whatever while you were drugged. How even after making you homeless, jobless, supportless, she still let that go on for years and enjoyed Christmas while not knowing if you were in a ditch somewhere. Blow up her life.

Also, you don't owe them anything. They are all horrible people. And then a few days later, the Opie makes an update to this entire situation. And the update reads as follows. Wow, guys, I don't even know where to begin. I am honestly so grateful for all the support, advice, beautiful messages, and awards you guys have gifted. I wish I could personally thank each and every one of you. And I did my best to reply to every message.

You guys are honestly so amazing, and I cried reading all the comments. My heart has never been so touched with the amount of love and support I got on this post and I am so sorry if I took too long to post an update. I was honestly in so much shock I didn't know how to cope with it. So I never got back with my ex. I didn't know what to do, but eventually he must have given my phone number to an parent as they texted asking to meet up. I never replied.

It was planning on organizing a Zoom meeting but didn't need to as they also showed up my door. Well, my father did. When I answered the door and saw him standing there, I ended up throwing up, which he insisted on cleaning. When he was done, we sat down and I just bursted into tears. My emotions were all over the place and my father has worn the same clone for a really long time, so when I smelt it, it just brought back all those memories. He tried to hug me, but I pushed him away and asked him what he was doing here. He went on to explain he and my mother are getting a divorce. He said he begged my mother to get in touch with me the minute I left, but she refused, and said I was acting like a baby, and if I wanted to leave them after doing something so horrible, then I could do

things on my own from then on. I asked him how long did it take for them to notice I was gone. He said they arrived back home after New Year's Eve and were planning on invited me over so we could talk. That's when they got in touch with my friend, and she told them I left, and she didn't know where I was. I asked him why didn't he listen to my side of the story, and why did they throw me away so easily? He just started crying. He said he never meant for the things to get so out of hand, and he wishes more than anything, he could take it all back. I said when they found out Nikki was taking drugs, and it dropped out of high school, they didn't throw her away. Instead, we all went on a holiday so she could focus on things besides drugs and during that trip she got hooked on

alcohol and each time they defended her over and over he said he had no idea my mother was going to kick me out he thought it was going to be for a few days but then they decided last minute to spend christmas out of state my mother apparently promised him i would be allowed back home after they got back i said she threw all away my stuff but he said everything was still there and she lied about that. I asked him what has happened to Nikki, and he said she is dead to him. He wants nothing to do with her, but my mother has been crying to him, asking to forgive Nikki as she is not well, and they had already lost one daughter. They cannot lose two. He blocked my mother and Nikki and has been on my ex's case about finding me. My ex caved in when my dad said he blocked

my mother and Nikki and told him where I lived. I asked that he never show up again unless I gave him permission and he agreed he asked what would happen now and i said i really don't know and that he hurt me so badly i then just went into detail about how much he hurt me and what it felt like seeing them so happy without me and how hard it has been we were both crying by the end of it but i was really glad i got it all out it felt like a huge weight to have been lifted off my shoulders My dad then said he knew a few places around the area and would help get me a better apartment and he would then help me get a better job,

but I told him I wouldn't be leaving this job as my boss helped me out so much and I wanted to repay him at all costs. I said I didn't want it to do anything for me, but I said I do want to reconcile, but it has to be on my own terms and it is going to take a very, very long time to trust him again.

And I may never trust him again. He said he would do anything to make up for what he did. I asked him why Nikki did this and if she said anything about it. While she said, she thought my ex deserved better than me and she wanted to see him happy because he was making too many sacrifices in the relationship. She loved him like a brother and wanted to break the engagement off. So that night she asked her friend to come and escort me out of the club so she could get photos and to take me home so her plan could work.

She said nothing intimate happened. I went to sleep on the sofa and that was it. He was up playing video games all night until I woke up, which he has proof of apparently. My dad was planning on getting my stuff from my mother's house and bringing it to me, but I told him I didn't want those things anymore. I then went to ask about Nikki's husband, and he said my mother has been hush-hush with the entire situation,

but he had his number and wrote it down for me. After my dad left, I decided to call. Nicky's husband. I was sweating the entire time and felt so sick. What if I could hear her in the background? Well, anyhow, when he picked up, I just spit everything out, which I deeply regret because I should have eased into it for him. He sounded really confused and I explained the entire situation again. I even went into detail about her drug and alcohol problems. I was honestly expecting him to curse me out to defend Nikki. Instead, he let out alongside and, well, turns out, he had a feeling she wasn't exactly innocent.

Turns out her and his sister had been having problems, and she has been spouting nonstop lies about his sister and has caused a huge rift between them. His sister didn't even attend their wedding. I told him I was sorry, but he should make things right with his sister because Nikki was the problem, not her. We spoke a little more, and he hung up. I'm not entirely sure what he is going to do with that information.

I hope he cuts his losses and leaves her because he sounded like a really nice person, and even he has lost his own sister because of Nikki. So I've decided to reconcile with my dad. My mother has always run the show, their entire marriage, so the fact he is putting his foot down and divorcing her and going and see with Nikki shows he is serious about wanting to make amends. I don't think I will ever reconcile with my mother. mother. Now she thinks Nikki is a victim also in all of this and at this point I don't care to

listen to her excuses. If she reaches out and we can talk I will update the post again. For my ex, I haven't had the time to meet with him and talk. Though my dad mentioned he wanted to come with his dad but he told him I would be too overwhelmed if both were there and seeing them separated will make more clear decisions. He also mentioned my ex was arrested for assaulting Nikki's friend who lied about the entire situation. He was being charged. charged but the charges were dropped a few days later i will update the post again but when i have time to speak to my ex thank you guys for being so patient and so caring and just so amazing and that is actually the last update we have ever received on the situation and the opi has never made a third

update but let's get into some comments someone says so this means your sister literally drugged you just to break your relationship up the way you were passing you were past passing out at the club isn't normal. What about your other sister? Someone else commented saying, it might be a lot of hoops to jump through, but I would seriously consider if any charges could be brought against your sister

and her friend. They drugged you. They caused you extreme emotional turmoil, but I totally understand O.P. If you just want to wash your hands of them and not reopen old wounds. Someone else says, it's actually very carmaic

that you may have caused Nikki the relationship with the man she professes to love after she did the same to you. At least in your case, it was an act of charity. That poor guy definitely deserves better. My mom and sister starved themselves to death because of my mom's psychosis. And I have to deal with the aftermath. In 2020, my mom and sister died together in a locked apartment, along with my mom's friend.

They didn't die in an accident or from in. illness, they starved themselves to death. Together, in the middle of summer. My mother had developed paranoid schizophrenia, but the diagnosis came post-mortem on my request in desperation to get some answers. She believed my father was trying to harm them and isolated herself and my sister from everyone. For one and a half years, they lived in fear, completely cut off. She also believed they could survive without.

food and water by absorbing energy from the universe. Her mental illness spiraled into something so extreme, she convinced my sister to follow her. And she did. They were found about five days after death, but the police had no exact day of their deaths because, of course, they did not die at the same time, but hours or days from one another. Three bodies, actually. My mother, my sister, and a delusional friend of hers who died with them. By the time they were discovered, they were in such a decomposed state that the police couldn't even identify which body was whose, not even by hair. That's how bad it was. We had to run DNA testing, dental records, three dead bodies in the heat, locked in, door barricaded, that wasn't there.

But my mind was and still is. I've never read the police reports. I've never visited the place where their ashes are. I still can't believe they're gone. And I feel this weird, almost sick obsession with the grotesque details, the smell, the state of their bodies, what the forensic team saw. Sometimes I Google crime scenes or more cases because my mind is stuck there. I imagine what it looked like. I can't stop imagining it.

I've built a life. I've run my own business. I've survived. I triggered by things like rotting fruit, the smell, the texture. It all sends my body into a panic. People ask me about my family and I smile and lie. They joke about crazy people and I laugh along. I've never told my clients.

I've never written this down before, but it lives in me. I feel guilty for not saving them. For the trauma the police and forensic workers had to endure. for my sister who was 29 and could have walked away, but didn't. And sometimes I just feel nothing, just this heavy silence. If anyone else out there has lived through the same kind of trauma, you can't put it into words. If you've ever wanted to scream and vanish and be held all at once, I see you. Thank you for reading this.

I don't know what I want from it. Maybe just did not hold it alone anymore. more. And then the OP makes an edit saying, posting this has been one of the most healing things in my grieving process. I had no idea it would be such a relief to be able to share my story and getting so much support. It hurts that some people might not believe that the story is true. Maybe it just shows how horrible the events were and how it must be hard for anyone to process the case. Trust me on this. The police were so empathetic and equally shocked that something like this can find place. There's no way anyone could have prevented this during the pandemic.

Also, yes, I got help from AI to put into words. What happened to me and my feelings, don't blame me for that. Thank you so, so much for all your kind words in sharing your stories. I hope this post will be a safe space for us to share in Benton and be a memory of my loved ones who don't suffer anymore. I have read every single comment of yours. Edit 2. One of the most healing things for me after posting this was, I have finally found peace finding out that there is a actual concept of Folly de du, which is a shared madness or shared delusion. Even if only one person is suffering from actual paranoia and psychosis,

it can spread on to others under right in unfortunate conditions. It makes me stop questioning things and finally finding peace with how and what happened. Thank you very much to those who brought this up to clarify, and help me answer the biggest questions of them all. Why? I'm 21 and I'm going to die a horrible death. This is long. It's literally my life's story.

I don't have a TLDR, maybe what the title says, I guess, plus more of these. Pain, disease, death. I'm from Albania originally. My family, mom, dad, and I came to Greece 20 years ago. life wasn't that great but it was simple we were poor dad had slash has schizophrenia home life was rough on me mom she divorced him when i was 12 he went back to albania i didn't really talk to him that much we lived with my mom

after the divorce changed homes everything was fine she was working i was studying not trying my best but doing good fast forward to when i was 17 last year i was high school. My mom was in a relationship with a man who lived in England. She was happy. I was indifferent. But she was happy. It all started with a pain in her left arm. She immediately thought it from back when my dad had strained it in one of his attacks. She had never gone to the doctor about it because of work. She just bandaged it herself and suffered through. Her pain was getting worse. Movement was getting worse. She couldn't work anymore cleaning houses. My mom went to rheumidologists, orthopedists, finally to neurologists. She was hospitalized. Was a bit of in and out.

They couldn't find anything. We went on holiday. The two of us and her boyfriend who funded it, of course. We hadn't really gone on holidays before then. She had problems walking, got tired easily. In one of her walks, her leg shakes so bad she fell. I thought, we thought it was her shoes. They were new, bought by her boyfriend. She wasn't really used to high heels. It wasn't the shoes. Back to the hospital.

I was staying alone at home. It was university at minutes' exam period. I got in the school I wanted. Great news. Call my mom who was at the hospital. She lit up how I could hear it in her voice. A week later, me and my uncle, Her brother who lives in Greece, were called in the hospital.

The three of us in the doctor's office, my mom got diagnosed with motor neuron disease. The neurologist didn't really tell all the details. He lied. It may leave and come back sometime in the future, maybe 10 years down the road. He didn't tell us how horrible it is. He didn't tell us, my mom will die. That there is no cure currently, just trials. In fact, he didn't really help or guide me in any way.

It was like she was never as patient. I promised her I would take care of her, no matter what. I promised her something will turn out good for us. No way. In a year or so much can happen, Mom, we will look back and laugh. Everything will go fine. Day by day, it was worse. She was telling me, and I was seeing it.

I tried to go to school to not upset her. Promise me. You will go to school. You will study. You are strong, she said. said. I tried not to cry in front of her. I cried every time on the way there and on the way back. It was getting worse. I couldn't bear the thought of going to school. My mom was at home like that, so I skipped a lot. Sometimes her boyfriend came, stayed for a while, helped. He didn't live here,

though. He left again to work. Then my mom's mother came, my grandma. She helped around too. They all had planned for my mother to go to them, my grandparents in Albania, when things get even worse. She told me, No, I will take care of you, mom, no matter what. She was worried about my mental health. She was worried about me seeing her die. She was worried about my

school. The day came. We got her into Albania. She would stay at my grandparents, with them, lived my mom's older brother, married with two children. I had to return back. I stayed with my mom's younger brother, who lives

in Greece, married too, with two children as well. I video called my mom every day. Her voice started to change. As her voice was getting worse, my soul was getting ripped apart. I went another time up there. She was having a lot of problems.

Huge back pain, couldn't even sit on the wheelchair, needed to rotate her when she slept. She couldn't really sleep. She was uncomfortable and in continuous pain. Around that time, she told us that she will need breathing support. We got it. She felt better. Around that time came her boyfriend, too. We're all there.

He left a day before I did. She said, you were all leaving. Mom, we will always be there for you. Always love you. Why did I go back to Greece? She was telling us her parents are getting on her nerves that she can't live another minute there. So grateful for my uncle's wife, she was enormously helpful and kind to my mother there. Sometime later, I was planning on going again. But as I surprised, I thought, I'll go at the end of the week. Friday. I attend my classes and lab and then stay for a long while.

I had a hard time understanding my mom on the call those days. She also seemed in such a really worse mood and complain about my grandparents. They were turning her insane, I thought to myself. Well, me surprising her might brighten her mood at least. Thursday. Phone call to my uncle. He was crying. He was calling his wife.

He told me we were leaving today. I knew. I didn't ask. I was silent the whole drive. My uncle was speeding like a maniac. We got stopped, but he talked his way out of it. We were under my grandparents' house, felt like 200 people were on the balcony outside of the apartment floor.

I knew. An uncle of my mom's was waiting us down the hall. He took my hand. Be strong. Your mother will want you strong. She is not in a good condition. I didn't talk. We climbed the stairs slowly.

I entered the room slowly. A lot of women, old, young were sitting on the couch. I looked at my mom. She wasn't awake. Her eyelids were half open. She was hardly breathing. I told my grandma to make the people inside leave. She told me I can't.

You will. I talked to my mom. I hugged her, not tight because I remember she would be in pain or not breathe easily. I told her about my grade on math. I'd gotten to 10. I'll make you proud, Mom. I love you and always will. Please watch over me and I'll make you proud.

My grandma told me it's time to go. My uncles and my cousin took me to a cafe down the road. I lived with my uncle in Greece afterwards. For about a year, I changed schools, mechanical engineering to electrical and computer engineering. Let's make a change. I tried to be a bit more social. I found some new friends and, through them, met a wonderful girl. So glad I changed schools.

Second semester, I moved to the dormitory, to live alone. Close to school, away from my uncle. We got together with that girl. We clicked from the moment we first talked, beautiful, smart, funny. School was hard, but I didn't mind that much. I was doing great. She was doing great too. We were happy together.

Happy. Third year. First semester. My uncle who lives in Albania fell while he was working. He took a leave. His leg kept getting worse. He was fearing it was the same thing. Everyone reassured him otherwise.

Me too. There's no way. It was already so rare for her. What kind of odds would it be? She was 39 years old. It was the same thing. Five months ago, he died. I couldn't visit because of the pandemic.

I still haven't. Third year. Second semester. This semester was really hard, full of assignments and work. Every single day, work and pressure. The semester ended. Exam period was starting. We still had assignments due, though, 4 a.m., three months ago,

about to say good night to my lovely girlfriend. My left hand trembles like crazy. For what seemed like 10 minutes, Definitely way less. I took a video sent it to her. Don't worry about it, honey. If it still persists, we'll see about it. Don't search symptoms like you do.

We say goodnight. I googled hand tremor. Long lists of causes. Anxiety, stress, blood pressure, etc. Well, I've been really stressed. At the very end of the list, A-L-S.

I dropped my phone. I try not to think about it. I had a panic attack. I called her. She came almost immediately. I love her. I want to marry her. I'm saying to myself. I noticed my pinky falling and I got more scared. Touching things and lifting them felt different. I knew. My girlfriend kind of moved in with me. I went to a lot of neurologists, to a lot. They all did clinical examinations, didn't see anything. They all thought it was psychosomatic. that I was afraid because of family history. I didn't ever think of the possibility of me getting it now, though.

I didn't even know the possibility of me having the same gene was 50%. I had an EMG, turned out fine, had MRIs, blood test turned out fine. I hoped otherwise, so something other than that would be the cause. Everyone around me started to believe it was in my head too. It drove me crazy. Almost every day I was thinking of going to a doctor. Let's get this over with. I'll see myself get worse every day.

Every day, some muscle was spasying out. My wonderful girlfriend, the love of my life, was with me the whole time. I don't know what I would do without her. Two weeks ago, I had a second EMG. Still fine. Then five days ago had a clinical examination. It took longer. I could hear the doctor's frustration.

I could see that everything was worse. Even my facial muscles. Scariest part. We had planned vacations. We are supposed to leave out at the 25th. Four days from now. We were happy. I was happy.

I love her with all my heart. I'm 21 and I have ALS. My four-year-old son is autistic and I hate him. I hate being a parent. I hate everything about this. I'm so tired of having to deal with that all. The tantrums, the lack of comprehension, the aggression, and the inability of us being unable to do anything or go anywhere because of him.

I hate my son. I know a lot of people will hate me for this, but I truly just want to get it off my chest without anyone who knows me knowing. I want to finally spill all the beans and get it out here and hoping this will be cathartic for me. I already know I need personal mental help. Alas, no monies for that. People will also suggest getting him help as well.

No money for that either. Though he already is in a local state-sponsored two-and-a-half-hour daily program for kids with disabilities. It's helping, but it only goes so far. There are many things I despise in the world from politics to health care, or their lack of, to business practices to just people in general. I also love many things around here, so no, I'm not a grumpy old man who just hates anyone and everything. There are even people I'd be oh so happy to cease up for a slow and painful death.

But there is one thing I would never wish on them. A child with autism. I'll start off by saying I truly don't know how single parents and happy slash good parents with kids with disabilities do it. I truly do not understand how you have so much strength to get through the day and still being one piece mentally. I wish I knew how. Today, all I wanted to do was something seemingly simple,

and it even started off well. Go fuel up the car, then walk around a bit to get the coffee. He had fun in the car, but as soon as the car ride was over, and we had to go left instead of going right, the tantrums, screaming, scratching, pinching, and all started. He wanted this instead of that. More tantrums. Right instead of left next time.

And worse and worse. All I wanted was a damn cup of fresh coffee that I didn't have to brew myself. We, wife and I, work from home. In a decent amount of time, we have to spend dealing with him. I use that word specifically as it's not the, oh cool, that's a cool car you have. Let's play a bit. Not that kind of stuff. It's the, for the thousandth time, do not stab the dog with his stick.

Please play with the bouncing ball, not against my. head again we've talked about this a million times do not touch the audio equipment and on and on and on i'm getting tired of having to repeat the exact same very simple things over and over and over day in and day out you might say but dad with an autistic kid kids don't understand stuff you have to be nicer to them they'll get it i hear you but there is only so many times at this stage you can repeat the simplest of things without getting frustrated be it how to put on shoes just putting them on, not tying them. We need to go right instead of straight.

This is how we go up the stairs. Please wait here for five seconds while I order coffee. I'm tired. I should have never been a dad. This truly has been the worst decision of my life and I regret everything about it, save for a few minor points here and there. These four years have been horrible

and only getting worse and it's largely because of him. Logically speaking, it's not because of him. It's just my perception and view of the world in which I cause myself to get angry on things that I should not such as his inability or ability to comprehend differently than us. Logically, sure.

Emotionally, this took an hour to type up. I'm trying to get better. I'm trying not to get mad. I'm trying not to yell at him. I just can't help but be frustrated and yell at him sometimes. I know it's wrong and there's no excuse for me acting the way I am. I feel like shit for yelling at him and dragging him home while he was wailing because he wanted to go that way

and I wanted to go home so I can go back to work. He doesn't understand the stressed of work, of time, of other people's desire slash needs. I understand he doesn't comprehend most of what we're doing, both because of age and because of his autism. And it breaks my heart seeing all these normal kids. his age doing normal things, and he just doesn't get it, and probably never will. I feel like a failure for having a kid like that. I feel like a failure for not being a better and good enough father, parent and man, to be able to help him properly.

I just don't. We're currently back home, and to try to make it up to him, he's gotten some hugs. Some of his favorite juice, and I turned on his favorite Lego game. So whoever you people are at Nintendo and Lego who make your games accessible to kids Whoever you are, thank you very much Without you, I don't know what I'd do The Lego games are always fun

And we figured he'd like the Lego City game And he adores it It's the first real video game he's played And pretty much the first thing other than just cars and trains He's truly played with Thank you And yes, for those wondering He and I do play it together sometimes

In the evenings or on weekends As for now, I'm going to sit in a corner, drink my coffee, and cry, and think about how shitty of a dad I am. Am I the worst father out there? No. That type of comparison doesn't help me. No matter what, I always end up comparing myself to parents with normal kids. My wife already knows what I think of him, though she doesn't know I hate him.

She will never know. Whatever I do, I know I need to be better. better and do better. At least to round this off on a few positive notes, writing this out has helped clear my sinuses out a bit, as well as being a good load off of my shoulders. The school program he is in has helped me immensely since he has started as he's now able to put several words together into a mini-sentence with some prompting and direction. He is getting surprisingly better, rather quickly at video games, so I hope to find more he can play soon. He does like cars, so I'm going to try to find out.

city oriented ones though I hear the new Yoshi game is nice maybe he'll like it now no I think they have a demo to try my mother helps out sometimes which is amazing when she's able to and when times are good things are sometimes kind of fun with him around I hope he can be both my gaming and hiking buddy in the future thanks for reading evening edit thank you everyone for all your kind words and suggestions I've never even considered contacting a dissonance services for him, local community, such as the church groups, and local fellow parents with kids who need help groups. You'll be pleased to know I've given him extra hugs, kind words, snuggles, and playtime.

We both calm down a lot. Many of your heartfelt messages truly made me tear up, thank you. Tomorrow I'll be looking into local disability services, and since it's a day off from school, good Friday, I'll take some time off of work and walk around with them, weather permitting, or play a lot with them. I will be heading for to bed now. Thank you all very much, truly. Everything you've all written has given me a lot to think about.

Thank you. And good night. And all right, guys, that wraps up some deranged confession threads. And comment down below what you thought about this video. And if you'd like to see these videos be longer, please send in some more confessions. Please make sure you write them with proper grammar and all that sort of stuff. It makes it easier to read.

But I read every single confession you guys send in. They might not all make it to a video, but I still appreciate you sending it in. Nonetheless, you can send it to the email in the description. And yeah, thank you so much for watching to the end of the video. It means the world. And like I said, please comment down below your thoughts. And please like the video and subscribe to the channel. It helps more than you know.

And yeah, this video was just wild. There were some insane confessions. And like the title says, deranged. So I hope you at least found it entertaining or interesting to say the least. And yeah, thank you so much for watching. It meets the world. And this was Snook. And I'll see you next time.

Bye.