Snook - Deranged True Reddit Threads

Episode Date: July 27, 2026

From a wild reddit thread that starts as suspected infidelity and leads to something much worse... to a user who gets sh*t by his girlfriend... these are some Deranged True Reddit Threads. Also face reveal! haha Timestamps! 0:00 | Intro 1:34 | Two tampons may mean my marriage is over 21:15 | OP's girlfriend sh*t him 30:36 | My stepdaughter died 4 weeks ago and i caught my husband and his ex wife in our bed 56:20 | OP suspects that her dad might be a predator... 1:01:48 | AITA for yelling at and ignoring my girlfriend over a prank? 1:47:41 | I've been spending time with a good friend more recently but I think he's only doing it so he can look at my daughter... 1:58:15 | My partner of 2 years is adamant I am cheating on him. I am not. Help? 2:11:49 | Outro Please do not attempt to contact anyone talked about in this video. Join the Patreon! patreon.com/SnookYT ⁠Follow me on instagram and Spotify! If your story or post was included in today's video and you wish for it to be taken down, please reach out to this email. [e-mail] And yes, I'm a human voice. NEXT SUB GOAL - 100,000 subscribers! So make sure to subscribe! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Now streaming on Disney Plus, the Hulu original series Furious follows FBI agent Alice Black, played by Emmy Rossum, on the hunt for a mysterious and calculating serial killer. Both walk their own paths toward justice, and as their lives start to intertwine, the line between right and wrong begins to blur. New episodes week over week. Watch the Hulu original series Furious, now streaming only on Hulu on Disney Plus. Hey what's up guys and welcome back to the channel and today we're getting into some deranged true red of threads and oh boy do i have some insane scary creepy and downright unhinged red of threads for you guys today so make sure to stick around and i appreciate you guys stop by means world and make sure like the video and subscribe to the channel the channel subscriber goal

is one million subscribers before the end of the year so please subscribe and um let's address the elephant in the room i guess Phase reveal, big deal. Hopefully not. I don't want to make this a big thing. So hopefully this isn't a big thing. Yeah, I just thought it was better late than ever and I wanted to do it. I wanted to have my face and more of the videos talking to you guys. I think it's just, you know, it's a good addition. But what do you guys think? And I have had my face and some past few ads before, but I don't think you guys ever noticed. And this is a lot more in your face. So here I am. This is what I look like. And for all the people that said, I was. AI, well, explain this, I guess. I've been recording every single video I've ever released, and so no AI here. And yeah, I'm excited to kind of introduce this. And also, hopefully the camera looks good. I've never done camera stuff before. And hopefully the lighting's good.

Hopefully it's not too dark or not too bright, not too whatever. I don't know. But yeah, just comment down below your thoughts. Would you like to see more of me in the future? And yeah, I'm excited to get into these Reddit threads. So grab a drink and grab a snack. Without further ado, let's get into some deranged true red of threads. Two tampons may mean my marriage is over, and this one is way worse than you'd ever expect. And let's get into it. I, 29 female, have been with my husband 30 male for 70 years, married for four. I've never had reason to suspect he was unfaithful to me, or even,

remotely dissatisfied with our marriage. He likes to joke that we're still living the honeymoon phase nearly five years and two kids in. I wouldn't have questioned that, or him, were it not for a surprise I found in his car last month? When buckling our daughter into her car seat, I noticed something slotted between the cushions. I pulled it out and saw that it was a tampon. This wouldn't have been so unusual had I not had an IUD that has stopped my period for the past year, and I didn't even recognize the rapper style. I brought it to my husband's attention, and he didn't seem to understand what it was, let alone why I was holding it, until I told him where I'd found it and why I was almost

surring it wasn't mine. He shrugged and said it probably belonged to his co-worker, Fiona. It's not uncommon for my husband to carpool to lunch with his co-workers, and we're both fairly close to Fiona and her husband. So I figured it was entirely possible that tampon had slipped out of her purse whenever he had driven with them or offered her a ride. No big deal.

I put it out of my mind until we had dinner with Fiona and her husband a couple of weeks later. I had sincerely wanted to believe my husband. I just couldn't get over the way it had been tucked in the seat and how my husband had seemed not to have any regard for it whatsoever.

Maybe play dumb. I don't know. I did something that I now feel kind of crazy for doing. I faked an emergency and asked Fiona if she had any tampons while we are out together. She handed me one almost identical to the tampon I'd found in our back seat, and I breathed a sigh of relief. So the tampon there was probably the same tampon here. And in all likelihood, there was an innocent explanation as to why it had been in the backseat in the first place. I thought I had seen the last of the out-of-place feminine in hygiene products

until I found another tampon this morning, this time in my sock drawer. I feel physically ill at the thought of my husband having an affair and even more nauseated at the thought that the woman might have left these tampons out for me to find. If it was my husband's co-worker, why would she give herself away by offering me one the other night. In any other situation, I would want to talk to my husband about this, but I feel too sick and embarrassed to approach him with what I found. What should I do? And now let's get into some of the top comments. One user says, I've had a period 30 years and never put a tampon in a sock drawer. Trust your gut and get cameras. And the O.P responds and says, neither of I. I've considered so many

explanations for the tampons that wouldn't implicate my husband, but none of them makes sense, really. I'm terrified to set up a camera if it means confirming what I suspect right now. And someone else says, has Fiona been over to your house and had time to plant the tampon? And the O.P. responds and says, she's been to her house many times and vice versa. To my knowledge, she wasn't over any time in the past week. so if she planted that second tampon she had to have found a window of time when I wasn't home

anytime she and her husband visits we all stay downstairs and you'd have to go really out of your way to make it to our bedroom i.e. around our dogs over the safety gate past the other bedrooms not saying it's impossible but definitely tricky to do

on a quick bathroom break I would guess and then someone else says how older kids could they have found a tampon and put it in a random place, and the OP responds and says, two and four. Both have a mischievous streak.

So I didn't want to rule out the possibility of one of them moving stuff around, but I can't imagine how they would get their hands on one, possibly two random tampons that I never bought. And then we get an update post 18 days later, and let's get into it. The post reads, contemplating every possible source of two tampons

has been my personal hell for the past two weeks. But I wanted to share an update. Shortly after posting on here, I told my sister what had happened, the tampon in the back seat and the saw drawer, my husband's cluelessness, the tampon from Fiona, and all the things I suspected but didn't want to believe.

We compared tampons, save for the backseat one, I had already discarded. And they were a match. Justin, different absorbencies. I hadn't left either in a place or my husband or daughters would have found them and moved them around.

My daughters didn't know what they were or where they had come from. My sister was convinced it was Fiona. Either having intimacy with my husband, effing with me, or both. Direct confrontation of either party still seemed like a bad idea, so she suggested inviting

Fiona and her husband over for a Labor Day barbecue. Unfortunately, they already had plans. My sister and I agreed that it was too soon for cameras without any other evidence. So it was just a waiting game from there. Watching my husband for any changed behavior? There was none. Our house for any misplaced slash foreign items. There were none.

And even the girls for any new friends they might have met. My sister's husband was adamant on the list. last point, and partly why he was inclined to believe that the tampons were harmless. If anything had been happening in or around our home, he said it would be nearly impossible to keep it from me and the girls, since my husband was the one taking them to and from daycare and most other activities during the week. I felt a good bit of consolation from that. It wasn't until my youngest daughter, two years old, came down with something last week that I felt any differently. I wanted to be the one home taken care of her,

but my husband insisted that I stay at work while he stayed home with her. I was okay with that. My sister and her husband figured it was a good sign that he would take the time off at a moment's notice, and at that point, we were all already beginning to put the tampon fiasco behind us. By the third or fourth day, I was just happy to see a near healthy child and a husband who was helping see her through it.

Toward the end of the week, though, I came home to something strange. The toddler that I'd left that morning in an old PJ set was now dressed in a onesie I had never seen before, with a tiny clip in her hair. I can't say I have the sharpest memory, but I have a pretty good sense of what my kids wear on a day-to-day basis, and particularly what kinds of clothes they wear. I'd sworn off the full-length sleep suits with snaps across the front long before we'd even had second. The long snaps are just a pain in the ass and a no-go for efficient diaper changes,

in my opinion. It's just not something I would dress her in. And my husband knows as much. He doesn't plan for or buy the girl's clothes. And he certainly doesn't accessorize them. So I was bewildered and kind of floored at the thought of someone around our sick child without my knowledge. I didn't think twice. And I went straight to my husband to ask if anyone had been over to see him or the girls. He seemed confused, like before, and asked me why I would think that. It had just been him

and the kids all day long. I asked him again. If someone had so much as stopped by to say hello, and he denied it. He told me to calm down. I might have lashed out and come forward with the accusations right then and there, but our older daughter was in the room,

and she sensed something was up. In a calmer voice, I asked him a third time if anyone had been around our children. And my husband swore that the girls hadn't been around anyone but him. He also denied buying new clothes or doing anyone's hair. With our daughter in the room,

and my emotions all over the place, I decided to leave it. I couldn't make sense of it then. And it hardly seems clearer now. After I've driven myself half crazy with explanations that aren't adding up. And the OPE adds some more context in the comments

and let's get into it, the OP says, to answer a couple of questions. My two-year-old can only string together a couple of words at a time, and when I ask her about her time with daddy or her clothes slash bow, she answers based on the cues I give her. Example, who gave you that pretty bow?

And she repeats pretty bow, back to me, or mama slash daddy over and over. My older daughter, almost four, was at daycare that morning. And she can't recall anything different from that day. Doesn't remember the PJ change or the hair clip, so my guess is she was changed sometime that morning. But I'm not totally sure. I have a 45-minute commute to work, so stopping by for lunch isn't really feasible.

My sister has been kind enough to leave work and drive past a few times here and there, and she hasn't seen anything out of ordinary. We have a ring camera at the front door, and I have got the app on my phone with notifications on. Nothing there yet. If anyone has recommendations for more discreet surveillance, I would be open to it. I'm just the least tech-savvy person and worry another camera will be easy to detect. And yes, we get our carbon monoxide detectors tested regularly. And now let's get into some other comments.

One user says, is it possible one of her hair clips came from daycare? And the OP response and says, I can see the hair clip being a possibility. but less likely on the onesie. My younger daughter hasn't been to daycare in days, and if either of them had returned with something like that before, I would have noticed, especially since it was the kind of onesie I hate with a passion, L.O.L.

And some people comment that they can't wait to find out the ending to this saga, and the OPE responds and says, my money is on the Hollywood horror ending, hopefully dreamed up the dogs too, so I can finally stop picking up their imaginary shits and whatnot. And then we get an update 16 days later. And let's get into the update. It reads,

After nearly losing my mind over a hair clip and a onesie, I realized I wasn't getting anywhere with the accusations and half-baked-to-guess work. I'd gotten so absorbed in the paranoia and misery of my situation that I wasn't sleeping, eating, or caring for my kids the way I should have been. And I wasn't getting any answers. So I decided to finally buy the cameras and have them shift to my sister's house, with my brother-in-law agreeing to help with the install slash setup over at mine. Before the cameras were ever delivered, though,

I got my long-awaited confirmation last week. A ring notification had alerted me to motion at the front door while I was at work. Half expecting to see a delivery person, pet, or lawn care salesman for the 15th time, You can only imagine my surprise when I saw a clip of a young woman leading my daughter into the house hand in hand, with my husband and other daughter close behind them. The girls were supposed to be in daycare and my husband at work. The woman, as far as I knew, was living two states away with a court order keeping her there. I immediately called my husband to ask him, what was this woman doing in her house?

He didn't answer, so I texted it to him. Even in his stupidity, he probably realized he had messed up by going through the front door, knew I had gotten the ring notification, and wanted to delay the inevitable. By the fifth or sixth subsequently call, though, he did pick up. The woman on the camera was my husband's sister. As I would come to find out later, she was the likely source of both tampons, the onesie, and the bow. She is also a registered SO and a recovering addict who spent the better part of adolescence and young adulthood

coercing the silence of another one of my husband's family members after she had violated them. I hadn't seen or heard from her in years and from the way my husband talked about her I didn't expect I ever would but here she was in our house with our children. Suffice to say I was livid. It wasn't an affair at all, and still somehow infinitely more disgusting knowing who it was and why all of this has been happening.

Apparently, my sister-in-law, fresh off another stint in rehab, had wanted to reconnect and make amends with people she'd hurt. And my husband was high on that list. My husband didn't want me to know, or worse, try and keep her family, our children, away from her. so they'd been meeting in secret, often at our house while I was at work. They would enter through the garage, in my husband's car, so the ring camera at the front door wouldn't tip me off.

She spent the night on a weekend I had been on a business trip and slept in our bed. She babysat our girls on a night my husband told me he had dropped them off at his parents. She bought the girl's clothes and dressed my youngest in the onesie and bow that my husband had promised on his life I had dressed her myself.

My husband swore this was all in my head. The tampons, the onesie, the bow, and all the rest. He was perfectly content to watch me agonize for weeks over a woman he insisted did not exist, shrugging off each progressively

more unsettling discovery like it was news to him and telling me I was being irrational. He insinuated that I was experiencing postpartum depression Two years after I'd given birth Four years after I told them That one of my biggest fears for motherhood Was to suffer PPD like my mother had with me

To not be fully present for our babies And be left with a world of guilt and regret as they grew older He told me I wasn't sleeping enough That I missed the girls too much That I needed to take a step back and re-react evaluate the state of my mental health. I gave him the benefit of the doubt because he was my husband. And because no other version of events made sense.

Now, after a month of this, I have nothing to show for my trust but this pathetic situation and a lot of anger. And the top comment says, Call the cops and a lawyer. And the O.P. says, already on it, believe me, we are going scorched earth on this guy. And this is the last we have ever heard from the O.P. And oh my God, what a horrifying twist.

I mean, I was expecting an affair to come to light. I'm sure you were expecting a affair to come to light. But it turned out to be the O.P.'s husband's sister, who was a registered S. offender and someone who went to prison for violating one of her own family members and also a recovering addict. Wow, that was a twist I was not expecting and just gross and disturbing and it's honestly scary that the OPs, I assume now, ex-husband, would put his kids in a situation like that. You know what I mean?

Like, why would you ever trust your sister, who's a registered S offender? Why would you put them with your kids who already has a track record of violating their own family members? God, this was just so disturbing. And I feel so, so bad for the OP and the OP's kids. I mean, this situation is horrible. But let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says, I hope the dad isn't trying to get custody. O.P.'s lawyer is going to have a field day with the fact he brought a S offender in contact with his children.

And someone says, not even just bringing a S offender around the kids, leaving the kids alone with an offender. And someone replies and says, there are no words for how horrifying this is. every parent's worst nightmare. And they couldn't have said it better. This truly is every parent's worst nightmare. I mean, someone you thought you trusted, someone you loved, someone who swore up and down, that they weren't lying to you,

and then to soon find out that they were lying to you, and it's infinitely worse than you could ever imagine. And we just have to hope that the O.P.'s, husband's sister, I hate to say it. I hope she didn't do anything to the O.P.'s kids. Like they left or he left her alone with his kids. And she has a track record of violating her family members. And God, I don't even want to think about that.

Like hopefully the O.P.'s kids aren't traumatized or hopefully they weren't violated because, I mean, this situation is already horrible. But unfortunately, that's a possibility. I hate to say it, but that's just all speculation. But like that comitor said, the husband left his sister alone with the kids. And, God, such a horrifying, horrifying, read of thread. And like I said, this is the last we have ever heard from the O.P. So we have no idea what happened, how the divorce went.

or what happened or if the OP's husband's sister went back to prison or who knows but um god let me know your thoughts on this down below because yeah i would love to hear what you guys have to think but um on to the next one opi's girlfriend shot him the first post being titled my girlfriend pointed a gun at me and i can't stop thinking about it i've been with there for nearly four years and despite all the arguments we've had, there was never a single violent moment. That's probably why I was so shocked when she did it. I've been having trouble sleeping and whenever I see her, I basically freeze up. She has apologized and I told her I forgive her of which I do.

I really love her, but I don't know. Maybe I'm just overthinking, but what if next time she doesn't hesitate? I know Reddit really isn't the right place to say this, but I know if I tell my mom, she'll tell me to leave her, and I don't want that to happen. Sorry if this wasn't worded properly. My hands are shaking, and I can't think straight. Let me clarify things. I actually want to still be with her, and I don't plan on leaving. She's a really beautiful soul who has helped me through so much, including the tremendous. experiences with my dad. She was with me all the steps of the way through therapy, and she helped heal me. She's literally my source of happiness. I should have started off by saying this.

Maybe you'll change your opinion. Plus, the majority of comments are from men telling me to leave, but the women have different opinions. I feel this is just a rough patch that most couples go through. It's my first and only relationship, so I'm not really experienced. But I feel that I feel feel the women here would be in a better position to tell me the next step to take since they've probably been in my girlfriend's shoes at least once. No disrespect to my fellow men. You all are great too. Edit, my girlfriend just saw the post and she texted me asking if it was me. I'm going over to her place now and we are going to work things out. I'm not giving up on her just yet. I'll make an update in about an hour when we are done working things out. Thank you all for the

support and encouragement, I actually felt better putting this out there. And now let's get into some of the top comments. One user says, dude, do you realize how this sounds? Would it be better if the next time she actually shoots you? And the O.P replies and says, I know her and I know she won't do it again. I just need to find out a way to forget it happened. And another commenter says, I'm sorry, but I think. think you are in an abusive relationship. Pointing a gun at someone is not a mistake. It is a

deliberate threat on your life. I would do two things. Number one, think about whether or not this is the only incident where you felt scared or trapped by her actions. Does she tell you who you can be friends with or not? Does she try to control your relationship with your family? Number two, Take a little bit of time and read several other threads on Reddit of people posting about their significant others abusing them. And see if the way you are reacting is comparable. The bottom line here is that this will not be a one-time occurrence. And next time, she's probably going to shoot you. Good luck.

And the OP responds and says, it's not abusive. Everyone is blowing it out of proportion. It was just a one-time incident. And guess what? The O.P. comes back one day later with an update titled, My girlfriend shot me after I broke up with her. The update reads, I am currently in the hospital now,

and I've gotten the mental clarity needed to see just how foolish I was. If not for the fact that I had friends here in Texas, I would have been dead. I'm just lucky to be alive. This is an update from the previous post. And now it's getting into some of the top comments. One user says, Please tell me she is facing legal consequences. And the OP says, no, I don't think she will.

That will be up to the prosecutor. I won't be pressing charges. And then the OP also says, if I do, then I will go to jail as well. There's no way she won't bring me down as well. And huh, that makes me think. Did the OP do anything drastic before the OP's girlfriend shot him? I mean, like, why would you not press charges? And why would you go to jail as well if you are completely innocent?

So that makes me wonder, did the OP do anything? you know, that warranted being shot, like possibly, you know, making her feel threatened or whatever. I don't know. That is, that's concerning. But then someone actually responds and says, the fuck did you do that you'd go to jail for her

literally shooting you. Bruh. And basically everyone says, please press charges and people want the opi to elaborate. And, yeah, this is a wild thread. And someone else says, so based off your comments, it sounds like there is way more to the story. You say you'll go to jail to do what she protecting herself.

We clearly aren't getting the whole story. No one is just totally cool with being shot, not wanting the person to get consequences. And then the O.P gives us an update the day after, and it reads as follows. The O.P says, I grew up in a terrible household. My dad would come home drunk and beat up my mom for sport. I have never been so scared of anyone like that in my life. He made me watch and told me that's how a man does it.

Some nights I'll stay awake hearing my mom cry as he onwards her. He never allowed me to go out and my mom was the only one who homeschooled me to the best of her abilities. Sadly, my dad passed away due to some medical reasons and I was finally able to go out now that he is gone. That was when I realized just how damaged I was. I had extreme social anxiety and I didn't have any degree. I started doing some work for money and that was when I met my ex. My mom started becoming a bit violent after my dad passed away because of the burden of providing for the family. So I stayed with my ex. She helped me overcome my anxiety. She paid for courses

online and put me through anything I didn't understand. She bought books from my family. She bought books from me on how to read and gave me an education. She bought me my first phone and taught me how to use social media. Without her, I wouldn't even be able to type this. She told me every day that I meant something, that I am loved, and I'm capable of doing so much more, and I shouldn't be limited to anything my dad said I was. She told me that as long as I have her, nothing bad will ever happen to me. Some of you grew up in fancy lifestyles so you won't understand. This girl loves me. I just know it. I'll admit, I don't know why she did what she did,

but I just can't let go of everything she has done for me. I'll keep listing everything she did for me until y'all understand. And wow, what a disturbing Reddit thread. And this is the last post we have ever received from the O.P. So we have no idea whether or not he pressed charges, whether or not his ex-girlfriend, as he refers to her in this last update, went to jail, or what happened. But this is really, really disturbing.

And we don't know what prompted the O.P.'s ex-girlfriend to shoot him because it clearly seems that way that he provoked her in some way because, you know, he's like, I would go to jail too. If I press charges, she's going to bring me down as well. and so who knows what happened. I mean, this, I really wish we had an update on this, but, you know, we just have to wish for the best for the O.P. He clearly was going through some stuff, and he's clearly in a bad, bad mental situation and just, you know, his life is a mess right now. I mean, he just got shot. And so hopefully he was able to recover and hopefully he was able to realize that this girlfriend of his or ex-girlfriend is completely abusive, or maybe the O.P.

was abusive. I mean, like, he said he'd go to jail too. I don't know. There's a lot of things we can think about and theorize about, but like I said, that's all theorizing. Nothing substantiated on if he did anything to her. But I just want to hear what you guys have to think. I mean, this was an extremely disturbing post. But yeah, wow, on to the next one. My stepdaughter died four weeks ago, and I caught my husband and his ex-wife in our bed. My stepdaughter Becca, who was a teenager, died four weeks ago. I have been in her life since she was very young. We were extremely close.

My husband, Derek, 40 male, his ex-wife, Sam, 38 female, and I, 35 female, get along very well. There has never been an issue in the seven years that I've been with Derek. Sam has always been kind to me. She didn't even care that Becca called me mom too. Right after Becca's passing, Sam had so much anxiety and depression that she was unable to be by herself. She has no family besides us, so we invited her to stay with us. Sam hardly leaves the house. She mostly just sleeps in Becca's room, which is completely understandable.

I always tell her that I'm here if she needs me and that I want her to take time with grieving and that there is no pressure to go back. to her home. Today I needed to run some errands, so I asked Sam if she'd like to join me to get out of the house a little bit, but she declined and said she'd rather just stay at home and sleep. I told Derek that I was leaving and that I'd be back in two-ish hours. He works from home. I also told him to check on Sam every once in a while, and maybe try getting her to eat something. After stopping at the post office, I realized I forgot my last. library book that I needed to return. So I went back home to get it. As soon as I walked in the door, I heard moaning coming from mine in Derek's bedroom. I immediately knew what was happening,

and my heart completely broke in that moment. I wasn't completely sure what to do, but I ended up deciding to confront them. So I walked to the bedroom and opened the door and began yelling at them both. Sam started having an anxiety attack and ran to the bathroom while Derek kept apologizing profusely. I asked him what the hell was happening. He told me that he made himself and Sam some lunch and they began talking about Becca and shared some memories. And then Sam ended up kissing him and he didn't pull back. And then it ended with them in our bed. They're begging me to understand and that it was just grief that caused them to become intimate and that they both made a mistake.

I don't know what to do. I love this man and I love Sam. I am heartbroken that they did this to me and put me in this position. I feel so stuck. And now let's get into some of the top comments. One user says that would be a hard no for me. I understand grieving, but how is this excusing cheating? What happens next time he has said?

I misspoke when I said sad. Obviously, this is something beyond devastating. I still don't think it can be used as an excuse. And the OPE he responded and said, I don't want to excuse his cheating. I think I want to divorce him. But I'm anxious about doing it right after we lost Becca. Another user says, probably together. Do you both own the home? If it's in your name, change the the locks. Stay strong and don't listen to his excuses. I'm so sorry this happened to you during such a difficult time. And the OPEE responded and said, exactly what I was thinking if I'm being honest. And yes, we both own it. When I told him to leave, he kept saying sorry and then said that he would leave and respect me wanting him gone for a while. Another user says, are you seeing a therapist, perhaps? You're dealing with a lot right now. It might be. useful and the OP responded and said yes i am in therapy i've been with my therapist for other things for the last three years she has been very helpful i saw her yesterday and was able to figure some things

out and then we get an update the next day and it says i posted an update to r slash true off my chest but didn't realize there was an update rule so it was removed i figured i'd post an update to my profile for those that follow me. I decided that I am going to file for a divorce. I can't ever trust Derek again. It sucks because we had an amazing relationship, I thought. He's always been great. So this was a complete shock to me.

Last night, Derek came over to talk. He confessed to a lot. Turns out, it wasn't their first time having intimacy like most people thought. They've been having intimacy since three months before. before Becca died. I am completely shocked and heartbroken. Sam also reached out last night and thanked me for everything I've done for her and told me she was sorry. I didn't respond. I blocked her. I did so much for Sam and considered her a friend so this hurts a lot, more than I can handle. This is all too much. As hard as this is going to be, I need to leave Derek and cut them both out of my

life. I'm ready to do so. I am done. Also, some people are saying I deserve this because I should have known better than to let Sam into our home around Derek, but you need to understand that I'm a giving person. I trust people more than I should. I truly thought Sam was an amazing person. I know it's unusual to become friends with your husband's ex-wife, but it's just how it went for us and I shouldn't be blamed for what happened. Thank you to everyone who commented nice things and for the kind messages. You've all been helpful during this insanely difficult time. I appreciate it. And now let's get into some of the top comments. One user says, out of curiosity, what are his excuses for cheating? Those two are going to be in a world of hurt once the guilt settles in.

they are going to be asking themselves why it had to be Becca and will eventually come to a conclusion that it's their punishment for what they've done to you. I can pretty much guarantee you that. And the OP responds and says, He told me that they just accidentally reconnected one night when I was away at my mom's. He was stressed, we weren't conceiving, and were having miscarriages. So he then vented to Sam. And then somehow that led to intimacy.

It seems so icky to me. How can he vent about our struggles like that and then go and have intimacy with Sam? It's just awful of him. I don't understand it. And another user says, I'm so sorry. You did nothing to deserve this. Not now and not three months ago when it all started.

I thought that this was probably wasn't the first time, but three months is terrible. I will never understand the reasoning behind a person. person who cheats. I thought I saw you comment that your mom is coming to be with you. I hope she just gives you the biggest hug. You just need people who love you to be around you right now. I'm so sorry that you lost Becca. And now you don't even have Derek to grieve with. It's all just a horrible thing. I really hope you can find a good lawyer to help you with everything so that at least that piece is something you can see progress in. And the OPEE responds and says, Thank you so much.

I'm so glad my mom is able to stay with me for a while. And I have lots of friends that have been coming by to check in on me too. All this sucks. But it's definitely shown me that I'm cared for and loved. And then the OP gives us an update two days later and let's get into it. It reads, I'm getting lots of questions about something, so I figured I'd answer a few of them.

Have I told anyone about what happened besides my mom? Yes, I told a few friends and some family members. Most of them are supportive of my decision and aren't speaking to Derek. Where is Derek staying? Currently, he's staying at a hotel. Our friends refuse to let him stay with him. He's lost a lot of people due to his awful decisions. Has he tried fighting me on getting a divorce?

Yes, he begged me not to file for divorce. But when I told him I needed him to just let me go, and that I was just too exhausted to fight him on this, he let it be and agreed to get into divorce. Why isn't Derek staying with Sam? He told me he didn't want to continue to hurt me. So he told Sam he was done with her for good, and that they have no reason to speak to each other anymore.

I have no idea if that'll last and if they'll just end up together. But I truly don't care what they do anymore. I just want peace. What was Derek's excuse for cheating? He told me that they just accidentally. reconnected one night when I was away at my mom's. He was stressed we weren't conceiving and were having miscarriages. So he vented to Sam. And then somehow that led to intimacy. Disgusting of them both. I know. Feel free to ask anything else. And I'll try to answer. Thank you everyone for your

support and advice. And now let's get into some of the top comments. Some people ask the O.P. O.P. says, it was very sudden. She died in a car accident when she was with one of her friends and her friend's parents. And then some people asked the O.P. on her husband's parents being supportive or not, and if they know about it's cheating. And the O.P. responds and says, I get along with Derek's mom very well. But he's also a mama's boy, so it's kind of complicated. She will always be there for him. He'd stay with her if she didn't live across the country. She knows what he did and told me she had to talk with him, but said that he's still her son, and she'd help him with anything if he needed it. I'm thinking I need to cut her out of my life too, which makes me really

sad because we are close and talked on the phone almost daily. And then some people ask the O.P. She has children with her husband. And the O.P. says, we have had six miscarriages total. All of them were in the first trimester. And then the O.P. gives us a us some more updates and let's get into it. The post reads, I just found out that he is staying with Sam and not at a hotel. He told me it's too expensive to stay at a hotel and Sam is the only one that will help him right now. I had a weird feeling this would happen. Just knowing that they are still probably sleeping together hurts my heart. I talked to a lawyer this morning and we are proceeding with the divorce and Derek agreed to it. It's actually happening and I feel some relief

that he's not fighting me on this. My mom leaves on Sunday. I'm scared to be alone. But I go back to work on Monday, so I'm hoping it'll be a good distraction. I'll keep updating if anything else happens. Thank you everyone. I am so grateful for you all. And now let's get into some of the top comments. One user says, O.P. How did you find out he was staying at his ex's wife's place? Anything he says should be taken with a grain of salt. He is not true to his words and going on contact with Sam. And the O.P. He responds and says, he texted me this morning after we talked to lawyers and said he just wants to be honest with me.

I told him to stop giving me updates on what he's doing in his life, and that is not something I need to know. It seems like he wanted to tell me to hurt me. And then someone asked the O.P. on how she is doing. and the OP respondent says, thank you. I'm doing a little better today. My mom and I went on some nature walks and went out into the garden this afternoon. That helped.

Becca loved gardening with me, so it made me feel closer to her. And then we get another post the next day titled Becca's Diary. And this reads, I decided to go through some of Becca's stuff today. I just found her diary in a box in the back of her. closet. Would it be wrong to read some of it? I feel like it would help me feel closer to her, but part of me feels like it's wrong too. I haven't told Derek that I found it either, and I'm unsure if I should tell him. What would you do? And now let's get into some of the top comments. One person asked the OP on if she was closer with Becca prior to her sudden passing,

and the OP says, Becca and I were very close. It felt like she told me anything and everything, But I honestly think all parents feel that way about their kids, so I'm kind of nervous to read it. And then we get another update four days later, and let's get into it. It reads, I figured it's been a few days, so I should give a little update. My mom is leaving in a couple of hours, so I'll be alone. I'm kind of nervous about it. She helped me stay distracted and kept me going. I don't know how I'm going to handle her being gone.

I go back to work tomorrow. First day back since Becca passed away. I'm looking forward to it, though, because it'll keep me distracted. Also, I did read some of Becca's diary. It made me love her even more. She was such a sweetheart. I went back a few months and saw that she noticed some weird behavior between Derek and Sam. Didn't mention that she knew of the affair,

but she just wrote that she thought it was kind of strange that they all three would hang out more than usual. Without me. I might read more, But so far, I haven't found anything that's disturbing. Just her being a teenager and talking about crushes, fights with friends, happy family memories, etc. Tomorrow, I'm also talking to my lawyer, so I might have more updates on that. Thanks for the continuous love and support everyone.

And then the OP comes back a week later with an update titled Last Update for a while, and let's get into it. The post reads, I started randomly getting a lot more messages slash comments, so I figured I'd do another little last update. My first week back at work went great. I wasn't expecting it to go so well, but thankfully it did. My coworkers were so helpful and patient with me. On Friday night, I decided I didn't want to stay home all weekend alone,

so I decided to drive up to my mom's. It helps I have a three-day weekend so I can spend more time with her. I'm heading back home tomorrow. Also, for those of you that have messaged me hateful things for reading Becca's diary, I just have to say, you aren't in my shoes right now. Telling me I'm a bad mom because I'm reading her diary is just ridiculous. I learned so much more about her, about how caring and sweet she is, and it made me love her even more. It's how I'm able to feel so close to her right now. So please, don't tell me I'm not.

a bad parent for just trying to get by one of the hardest times of my life you have no idea what it's like i don't have much of an update so this will be it i'll come back an update once the divorce happens though thank you to those of you that have nothing but kind and helpful you helped me feel less alone i will forever be grateful and then the opi comes back five days later with a post titled sam my Reddit post and is threatening to sue me. The post reads, Sam made a fake Facebook profile to message me and tell me she wants to sue me for telling strangers about what happened.

Derek supports her apparently. I don't need this. Am I not allowed to vent about my life to people online? I just want life to get better. I am so tired. F you, Sam. F you, Derek. Edit, Sam is in the comment.

and message me on here too, I blocked her. And now let's get into the top comments on this. One user says she can if she wants to, but overall, why is she so upset for a problem she single-handedly started by deciding to sleep with the same man who was already in a relationship, in a married relationship?

Whatever she does, she should think things through, so she doesn't F up just like she did when she thought she could get away with sleeping with Derek. As for Derek, he is supporting her for the same reason he turned to Sam for help, a place to live and a woman to use. Sam and Derek deserve each other. They were both toxic to begin with and overall just disgusting. Sam, Derek, if you see this, and I really hope you can see this, so you guys can get the effing point of all this through those thick head of yours.

Becca would have been very disappointed in your actions for going behind her and O.P.'s back for months. I'm going just leave it at that because I don't want to risk getting my account banned for something I know I won't regret saying. O.P. I do hope you are finding a way through this and venting to strangers. And this is a normal writing it down or talking to a friend about it. I hope you're on your path to finding peace through this. And then the O.P adds some additional information. and the OP says, I just ignored her. It might be an empty threat just to make my life feel harder, but I'm unsure.

This is in reference to the message that Sam sent her. And the OP says, her message said, quote, So I was scrolling TikTok and ended up on an account where they read Reddit posts, and guess whose post they read? Yours. First, you tell your friends and family, and then you go to a bunch of strangers and tell them our life story. I can't believe you.

It isn't just your business to tell. Becca would be so disappointed in you. Be prepared because I think I'm going to be suing you for this. This was no one else's business. You did this to yourself. Remember that. I'm actually baffled. She thinks Becca would be disappointed in me, WTF.

And then we don't hear from the OP for a little over a week, about 10 days, but 10 days later, the O.P. comes back with a heavy, sad update. It's titled, I don't think I can do this anymore. The post reads, I have been as strong as I can, but I have been really struggling. So much is going on, and I'm just so tired. How can I keep going? I just want to be with Becca. I miss her. I miss her smile. I miss her. I miss her. her laugh. I miss how she tried to make you laugh when you were sad by telling dad jokes. I miss how she liked being in the garden with me. I miss seeing all her new drawings. I miss her beautiful eyes. I miss everything about her. I just want her back. I need her back. Edit, I am okay. I just needed a

space event. I was getting so many messages asking if I'm all right and I just wanted to say thank you to those that reached out. I am okay. I will be okay. Some days are harder than others, but I think I'll get through this. I am so grateful for the little community I have here. Thank you all so much. And then we get an update one and a half months later, and this one is titled Sam committed S-word on June 20th, 2024. The post, reads, Sam ended up committing S-word on June 20th. I am still trying to process everything. She had hurt me deeply, but this isn't something I wanted whatsoever. And Derek blames me. I feel so many things and I'm going to be away for a while again, but I wanted to update you all.

Thanks for the love, everyone. And then someone asked the O.P. on how she is doing after Becca's death, and now Sam's passing and the O.P. says, I hope they're together again. And I hope they are both at peace too. That's all I hope for. Thank you. And then the O.P. Post five days later, titled,

Taking a break from Reddit and going on a trip in a week. This one reads, Well, I'm doing it. I'm taking the advice that so many of you had. I'm going on a trip since my job doesn't need me the middle of August. I was so lucky I had my mom come stay with me a lot, and had my best friend come stay with me when my mom couldn't. But I felt like I was asking too much of them. So I decided that maybe traveling might actually be a good idea. In a week, I'm going to Norway. Beck and I

always wanted to go there one day. It was on our bucket list. I'm actually excited. I'm also thinking of getting a pet when I come back, but might wait till the move. Thank you to those that recommended I do this. Becca would be happy I'm doing this. She'd be so thrilled for me. You probably won't hear me for a while. I'm taking a long break from Reddit and all my social media. I think it's best for me, but just know, I love and appreciate all of you that have been there for me. I would have been so lost without some of you. Yours truly, Alyssa. And then we get an update three months later, and let's get into it. It'd be. Hi everyone. I haven't been on here in so long. I got so many messages asking me to do an update,

so here it is. Norway was absolutely breathtaking. I had so much fun and met some amazing people while I was there. I plan on returning in the future for sure. A couple of weeks ago was the six-month anniversary of Becca's death. It's been hard, but it's getting easier to live everyday life. but it also pains me to say that because I feel guilty for moving on and healing. I don't know if that makes sense. Maybe it does to those who have also lost someone close. I moved out of Derek in my house a month ago and got myself a cozy little house all to myself,

and oh yeah, I got a dog. His name is Charlie, and he's a darling little cavalier spaniel. He's been great. I absolutely love him. Also, I am officially divorced as of last week. It was a very easy divorce and I'm so happy about that. But Derek didn't want any of Becca's things when we tried figuring out who gets what. He left it all to me.

I tried hard to get him to take something because I feel like he will regret it, but he said he didn't want anything. So I have all of Becca's stuff. I have no idea why he didn't want anything, but I have it all in the guest bedroom right now. I'm trying to figure out what to do with everything. Derek is apparently an alcoholic now and quit his job. He seems to be doing terrible. Besides all of that, I don't know if I have anything else to share. I just want to say thank you again to all of my supporters.

I have made some friends on here, and I am so thankful for you all. I appreciate every one of you. And now let's get into some of the top comments. One user says, Alyssa, I think of you often and check back periodically for an update. I'm so happy to hear that your trip went well. Equally exciting to hear that you've moved on with your life. Have a new house and a dog.

Becca's things belong with you. You will know how best to honor her. Wishing you the best life has to offer. Thank you so much for letting us know how you're doing. And then another user says, I've thought about this OP every now and then since her first update and Jesus Christ. It's just heartbreak all the way down.

And someone else says, I really hope the O.P. is seeing a good therapist. No one should feel guilty for moving on and healing from a tragedy. And this was the last post we have ever received from the O.P. And this was about two years ago.

So I really don't think we'll ever hear from the OPE ever again. But I hope the O.P has since been able to, you know, recover and move on, but also remember. Remember, Becca fondly. And I really do wonder what ended up happening with her ex-husband. I wonder what happened to him.

But, yeah, like that last commenter said, extremely heartbreaking situation and just horrible. O.P. suspects that her dad might be a predator. I think my dad might be a predator. I don't have concrete proof for this, and I haven't told anyone about my suspicions either. Maybe I'm just going crazy, but I can't keep this to myself any longer. I usually live with my mom, but she had to temporarily move in with my grandparents because of grandpa's health. I've been staying with my dad since last month.

I actually don't really know him, and he's kind of an a-hole. He lives with my aunt and my cousins. I don't really know them either, and my cousins are all younger than me, so we don't really spend time together. I noticed that my dad treats my male cousin very differently than he treats my female cousins. He pretty much only pays attention to him and doesn't seem interested in interacting with the girls. It might just be because he's a boy. But I noticed that most of their interactions involved touching of some sort

and that my dad almost always initiated it. I also caught him watching my cousin on multiple occasions, which isn't anything weird, but the look on his face was making me a bit uncomfortable. My cousin often wants my dad to play in his room with him, and they usually always close the door. A few days ago, I was walking past my cousin's room and heard my dad telling my cousin that he would show him something soon, but that he has to promise not to tell anyone. The way he was saying it just gave me the ick. I really want to tell my aunt about this, but I've only been here for a little over a month.

What if that's just how they normally interact and there's nothing bad going on? Maybe I'm just reading everything wrong, but I'm just getting a bad vibe about it. And now let's get into some of the top comments. One user says, well, how old is your cousin? And the OP responds and says he's very, very young and his sisters are equally young and I am a teenager. And then we get an update two days later. That's titled, My Dad is a Predator. And let's get into it.

Hey, everyone, I made a post on Sunday evening about my dad's strange behavior towards my young cousin. After I got home from school on Monday, I called my mom and told her everything I had noticed. She asked to speak to my aunt. I don't know the details of that conversation, but they talked for almost an hour. Afterwards, my aunt just handed me back my phone and went upstairs. I didn't follow her, but she came down about half an hour later with my cousins. He was crying uncontrollably, and she looked close to tears as well. She sat him down on the couch and asked if I could watch him.

She went upstairs again while I tried to calm down my cousin. She came back with my dad's laptop and a box. Then she called the police. When my dad came home from work, they arrested him. They confiscated a few more things and asked us to give us our statements. We went to the station this morning to give a more detailed statement. There was a social worker who tried to speak to my cousin, but he refused to talk to her. He hasn't said anything at all since yesterday, and my aunt has been discussing different therapist options with the social worker. I think the worst part about this whole situation is that my aunt and my mom already knew what my dad was like. When we got home, I asked my aunt how she found the evidence in my dad's room so fast, and she confessed that she'd known he had it all along, but he had promised her to stay away from her children.

I also called my mom again to give her an update, and she said she found the pictures on my dad's laptop shortly after I was born, which is the reason they broke up. On the bright side, my grandpa is doing much better so she and I can move back home soon. And this is the last update we have ever heard from the O.P.

And now let's get into some of the top comments. One user says, I'm baffled. Both aunt and her mom knew he was a predator and thought somehow their kids were still safe with the guy. Like, of course he won't say. say he will do damage to his niece or nephew. I bet if someone asked him if he was a predator,

he would say no to that too. Did they seriously expect him to be trustworthy? Sheesh. And then someone responds and says, because it's an ignorable problem as long as it doesn't affect them. Notice how fast they acted the minute it did in fact start to affect them. And someone else says, Those parents are an absolute disgrace. I know my reactions are strong as a survivor, but that father is just filth. That poor kid. The adults failed them. And someone else says, my father was a predator. My mother knew that going into marriage and having kids with him. Just like this mother and aunt. She hid it and let others suffer. They deserve the same punishment as him.

Am I the asshole for yelling at and ignoring my girlfriend over a prank? I've 22 male, been with Nicole, 25 female, for a couple of years now. And she's always liked survival stuff and weaponry and all that. I absolutely don't. Really, really bad experiences with knives when I was younger. And Nicole knows about them. We both love Halloween and usually throw them. or a party and dress up and goof around, cook up pumpkin seeds and watch movies. Anyway, the point

is Nicole loves doing tricks with her knives like five-finger flay, flicking it open and closed, twirling it, etc. And she'll do it when we're watching a show or movie together, forgetting that I've asked her, please not to. Or she'll buy a new one and show it off, asking if I wanted to give it first bite and pout when I say no. Two days ago, she was playing with it again, and I asked her why she keeps forgetting, and she said, wow, okay, don't insult my intelligence again. And then that it was just a knife, and therefore not a big deal, and therefore not that important to remember. After that, she put away the knife, and we continued to have an okay night.

but I was on edge and jumping whenever she touched me. Yesterday she called me into the kitchen. Only she was playing five-finger flay, and I startled her and she messed up badly. I lost my cool, screamed my head off, tried shouting what I knew about first aid at her while I raced to grab my phone, complete panic, dialing 911 only for her to start laughing

and show me that it was a prank involving red food dye and a carrot. She had a nice laugh about how I would have known it was a joke if I wasn't so squeamish about knives, that it's proof I need to get more comfortable, that anyone with passing knowledge knows that it doesn't look like that when something like that happens. She kept explaining how she did it, how she practiced, how she could show me, but I didn't even answer her. It was like my head was underwater and my heart was beat. out of my chest. Just moved on autopilot and grabbed my keys and drove a few blocks away before pulling over to breathe. Nicole tried to call me, and the first thing I said was, it wasn't funny at all.

And she asked, are you crying? Then I hung up on her. She kept texting me, saying she was sorry, that she didn't think I'd react so badly to a joke, that it just meant to be a good fun in the Halloween spirit. My ignored her. I texted her after that I was home, but ignored everything else. This morning, she sent the picture of the props to the group chat with a few of our mutual friends. And they chimed in saying, it doesn't even look real. I've muted the chat since, and I'm wondering if I have a leg to stand on before I go back and apologize. And now let's get into some of the top comments.

One user says, not the asshole. Knife phobias are no joke. She's not forgetting your aversion. She's being abusive. First bite? I think she might have a blood and blade fixation. Fidgeting with knives all the time? I knew a couple of guys like that in the 90s,

and they were pretentious, insufferable tools who thought they were tough guys. Gods, this gal is traumatic. That's hit some pretty deep anger on your behalf. It makes me want to yell at her, and her bad friends. I'm really sorry you are dealing with this. Do not apologize, get out.

She does not respect you. Someone else says, not the asshole. Nicole is not a nice person. She repeatedly ignores your boundaries and this was not a prank. It was a deliberately cruel action to make you think she was hurt. She needs therapy to give a sincere apology and do better with your boundaries. or I would end the relationship with someone who was so cruel and selfish. Someone else says, not the asshole.

Saying is a prank isn't a license to do anything you want to. And she asked, are you crying? This triggered me. And finally, someone else says, why are you dating someone who repeatedly exposes you to something you're traumatized by and doesn't care how hurt you are by it? And then the OP makes a further update a few hours later that says it's overwhelming how much of response this got. And I tried to read all of your comments. Some of them made me laugh.

Some warmed my heart. Others had very hard truths that I still needed to hear, no matter how raw it left me. There are a lot of repeating questions and assumptions. First, we don't don't live together. At this point, I don't think we ever will. Second, I stayed primarily because the good seemed to outweigh the bad. You remember the negatives more than the positive. So obviously I just had to remember her positive qualities instead of being swayed by my focus on the bad times. Plus, it was always almost perfect after we had a fight, and I just assumed the boom and bust cycle was normal. I didn't know Nicole liked knives at first,

a mutual friend, Crystal, who was in the group chat, and I met Crystal during a community college course, introduced us as I was new to the area, and at first, Nicole and I hit it off as we had a lot of shared interests, music, art, outdoors, activities, going antiquing, wine, food, and cooking, just a lot of things. We started dating and eventually went on a camping and hiking trip,

where she used a knife to split some kindling, and she was being dangerous with it. I remember telling her to watch out, and she asked me to relax because she, quote, did it all the time. She asked me if I wanted to do it myself, and I admitted I really didn't like knives. Later in the trip, we drank by the fire and talked, and that's when I told her about my trauma.

She promised to protect me, and I remember that exactly because I had the mental image of her fending off a mugger, and I joked that she was my hero. My trauma has been brought up after the point, and neither of us were drunk at the time. My knife issues typically don't impact my daily life, except to make me more apt to be very slow in the kitchen when chopping things.

It doesn't seem like abuse, especially when we're good. When it's bad, it's really rough. I don't have really any other baseline as I was a late bloomer dating-wise. My dad always said that you should both give 110% in a relationship, but everyone argues. I thought working through the rough patches was normal. That's also why I was preparing to apologize, because it takes two in an argument, so I am responsible as well and need to apologize for my part. In this case, ruining the night with my reaction. I did go through therapy to help cope with the initial incident surrounding my

aversion to knives. I was a lot worse when it happened, to the extent where I couldn't have anyone point the knife in the direction of any other living being, or certain songs on the radio that were playing at the time, or certain smells. I've made progress. I've made progress. but clearly not enough to stay with her and deal with her fidgeting with the knives. I will admit to backsliding a bit in that I seem a lot more anxious when I stay the night and can't stay asleep. Or having more nightmares, which is why I believed her when she said I was overreacting. Also concerning the fidgeting, it's not a constant thing. Sometimes she'd go weeks without pulling the knife out.

Sometimes she would complain that I only focus on the fact she had used the knife versus how long she had abstained, which seems reasonable to point out. And then we get an update the next day, and let's get into it. It reads, I have no idea how to go about this, but I don't think this would be appropriate to post an Am I the Asshole per their rules, plus it's really long. So here is an update of sorts to this post. A lot of the conversation is paraphrased with quotes that stuck in my mind. I also kept adding to this as things developed and I'm running on zero sleep,

so I'm sorry if it's not very clear. I did reach out to Nicole again yesterday to talk, and I went with the intention of standing my ground and explaining things so she could understand my side. She greeted me with thanks for gracing me with your presence, and asked if I was here to act my age and talk like an adult. She slammed the door behind me and pointed to the couch so we could discuss things. Nicole opened with my reaction was unreasonable and completely out of line considering the situation.

I said that things need to change because that prank wasn't okay at all, and she knows I have issues with knife violence, and I asked, what was funny about the prank? She interrupted me and said that ultimatum, aren't part of any relationship. So I said, I don't think this is working out for us. I don't think we're happy together.

Nicole froze at first, and I started to explain that the knife thing in our respective stances being so different is not fair to either of us. But she repeatedly asked, so you're going to break up nearly three years just because of this?

I tried to tell her it was more than just this. It was everything else. It was that she keeps forgetting and triggering me, that she loves playing with them, but it upsets me. But she started talking over me and yelling that apparently I think she's an idiot, and that I'm the best actor in the world because she never knew I felt so horrible, and that maybe I should call the cops on her for abuse. She grabbed her cell phone and offered it to me again and again, saying,

go on, call. But when I said we just needed to talk, she interrupted with it. She interrupted with No, you won't, because you know, I know, we both know, no cop is going to arrest me for a joke. Also, I'm not very tall, 5'9, and she's only 5'6, but she was standing right in front of me while I was seated, so I couldn't get up without moving her. After throwing her phone on the couch next to me, she stormed into the kitchen, shouting that she should get rid of all her knives because I'm so terrified. She threw a few into the sink and then the whole block of knives into the trash. The whole time asking, what about this one? Too sharp? Too scary? When I flinched at the noises, she said, oh, do you feel threatened? How do you think I feel when I have to defend myself against your feelings?

Nicole told me to quit crying, that I can't just use tears to manipulate her, and mocked me when I said, please stop. She said she has to walk on eggshells because she has to deal with a boyfriend that can't handle a single joke without running off into the night. It's not hard to not overreact. Literally just think before you go crazy.

It's that simple. And that it's ridiculous that a grown man can't handle a knife or a gun and I refuse to let go of my victimhood because, quote, anyone normal would have gotten over it by now. It's been nearly nine years. She called me stubborn and childish for picking this hill to die on, that I'm not innocent. It's not fair that I'm allowed to ignore her for hours, but she can't have a little fun. And is my ego really that big? It's sickening that

I don't trust her or think she's smart or skilled enough to handle a knife properly, and it's sexist, and fanatizing, and insulting. At some of the same, point I said I think I need to go home. And it was like a switch. And she said, please stop crying. I hate when you cry. Joked, I think, because she laughed. I guess Habachi dates are off the table, huh?

And I should probably take the knives out of the trash now, shouldn't I? She apologized and said, since it means so much to me, she'll put in more effort. She admitted that I'm such a sensitive guy that if she stopped doing everything that made me uncomfortable, she wouldn't be able to do anything. She pointed that I cried watching my girl the other day as proof that I'm overly emotional, and it made sense that she thought I would just be in my normal self. But she was sorry for not realizing sooner. It was really upsetting me. She promised she would do her best not to bring the knives out when I'm around. Nicole hugged me and told me to let go. We can get through this. There's nothing we can't get over. And asked for a chance to stop.

start over. Fresh start tomorrow. No more jokes. It's stupid, but I just said yes. I wanted to go home, get out of her house and leave while she was still acting nice, and I didn't hold my ground. I feel like an idiot and a coward. I got home and puked and couldn't get to sleep again. Today, Nicole came and dropped off lunch and coffee for me, gave me a kiss and said she loved me. and all the old ladies in the office were gushing about how cute we are together. I'm going to reach out to one of the guys I'm closer to and the friend who set us up to find out when Nicole got so into knives. Because I remember about seven to eight months in,

it was shortly after the camping trip, and it was Nicole's birthday that she asked for a specific knife as her present. So, at least then, but I can't really remember there being anything else major before then. I'm going to break up officially. with her tomorrow with one of the guys if possible so i can get my stuff from her place and let's get into some of the top comments one user says op that is a completely unstable reaction also her toxic masculinity is over the top and you do not deserve to be treated that way i'm so sorry she

scared you like that and that she thought it was okay and you just overreacted you did not overreact. Your feelings and trauma associated with them are completely valid, and she sounds like a hateful, unkind person. Please, do not go back to her unless someone else is there with you, and stay safe. Sending you hugs, you got this tomorrow, you are a strong person. Someone else says she is completely unhinged. There aren't enough red flags for how she acted, and she honestly needs some professional help. She used fear to keep you around, and that is never healthy. I would not trust being in the same room as her. Seriously, run far away and don't look back. It's not a joke if it stirs up past traumas. The fact that she keeps calling it a joke when it never was, it is

further proof that she doesn't care. She is completely manipulative, and you deserve so much better. Please wait until you can take a friend or two to get your stuff. Someone else says, holy hell, she is 100% abusive. You need to stay away from her. She's zeroed in on your trauma and has been using it to exert some sick power over you. Everything she said was completely unreasonable, and she's gaslighting you by making you the problem. Not her. Then the moment you resisted, she switched tactics and started to love bomb you.

The lunch and coffee were part of the love bombing. Do not be around her alone. ever. She sounds potentially sociopathic. And pay attention to this. You are not a coward in any way. You are a trauma victim. How you react is typical of someone who has been through a trauma. And she's taking full advantage of it. Her standing over you, her words, her tone, her volume, all done on purpose to overwhelm you. She knew how to trigger your response and she did it all. She is a danger to you. Take care of yourself. And then we don't hear from the O.P. For a long, long time. We don't end up hearing from him for about three whole years.

And when he comes back, it is disturbing. And let's get into update number two, titled Updates Years Later to Am I the Asshole. It reads as follows. There's previous information in my profile, concerning a post I made on Am I the Asshole a few years ago. I came to Reddit about my girlfriend and her knife prank. It's been a long while since, and I was uncertain if I could update here, or there, or whatever. Roll this back over a decade ago for more info. When I was a preteen, we experienced a home invasion that resulted in my mother, and dog dying, and left me with a lifelong phobia of knives and anxiety surrounding blood and break-ins.

Directly following the break-in, I was unable to handle a knife being pointed at another living creature. My brain caught on to stupid things and connected them to the events and made them into triggers. Mom's perfume, the sound of glass shattering or a door banging open, a song that was playing at the time. Even now, I still hate the song, but at least he doesn't trigger a flashback anymore. Blood on beige carpet featured prominently in my nightmares. I worked extensively with a therapist to process what happened and what I'd seen. Recovery took years of therapy, weeks of inpatient care, medication to help with the nightmares, PTSD, depression, and anxiety.

We sold the house as soon as we could. I moved out of state as soon as I could. I kept up with therapy and continued to take my medication. My version of knives became somewhat minor in how it had impacted my life. I was careful in the kitchen, and I certainly didn't search out knife-throwing competitions, but it was under control in my daily life. It helped that everything seemed to be coming together. I made new friends.

I was balancing work in school. I just met the girl who'd become my first long-term adult. girlfriend. I know now it was just the honeymoove vase, but it felt like we are progressing well even once infatuation wore off. We stood together through highs and lows and the mediocre middle ground when there's nothing exciting, just the mundane. I thought that was the marker of a steady relationship to be able to stick together even after the excitement of a new relationship has faded. We went on a few trips together, driving across state lines to meet her family or flying back to see my dad. One of our trips, we went camping,

and my fear of knives got brought up. That led to the break-in getting brought up. She seemed to care at the time, even promising to protect me if something ever happened in offering to help install a camera in my apartment. After the camping trip, I don't know if it was always there, and I noticed it more after or what, but she started to be more obviously into knives. practicing tricks in front of me, showing videos to me, starting a collection. She even asked for a knife for her birthday that year, showing me exactly which one she wanted. Before she was into camping, into guns, which ironically I have zero issues with, and how to forage, make shelter, purify water, basic survival skills, and artillery and tanks.

She did multiple courses about military history in college, and busted out the textbooks sometimes if she remembered something she thought I would find interesting. But suddenly, it seemed like her focus was on carving and skinning animals, on knife wounds and tricks, and collecting and displaying knives. She started doing the tricks more often, in front of me, even when sitting next to me on the couch or at the dinner table, She would gesture with the knife without thinking and even pointed at me. Again, one of my major triggers being knives pointed at people or animals. She started sending me videos of news clips or other break-ins or news reports of robberies ending in murder between a bunch of other funny videos or pictures. So checking Snapchat became a game of Russian roulette.

If I didn't check the links sent through text, She'd keep sending them and ask what I thought. She'd forget she had the knife in hand when she came up to me, sometimes from behind. My nightmares came back. My anxiety got worse. No matter how often I reminded her to please stop playing with the knife in front of me, or at least not next to me,

she would always forget after a little bit. Some part of me refuses to believe there's no way she risked hurting someone just to unnerve me. It came to a head when she pulled a prank where she pretended to lose a finger. We had a huge fight, our biggest one yet. I wish I'd acted differently and hadn't stormed out, but I did. There was a lot about my time with Nicole. I would do differently in hindsight. I was so sure I'd just break up with her for good. I don't know why I didn't stay broken up with her. When I did at first, I did it alone because my friend Jack rolled his eyes and called me a pussy for wanting back up. So I did it in a coffee shop instead, hoping the public eye

could be my backup. Nicole stared at me with this affronted expression, and it was like I couldn't find the words anymore. Her eyes were huge and wide and hateful, like I've never seen anyone glare at me like that. She gripped onto the cup like she was going to throw it at me. I had it in my head to bolt the second she moved because I could see it so clearly. But then she started crying, loudly, and kept asking why I would do this to her, and that she hoped I found happiness was someone better, since clearly she wasn't enough for me, despite doing everything to be a good girlfriend. I felt like shit, and people were staring, so I wished her well. and asked if she wanted me to call a friend, but she told me to leave her alone, so I did.

I hate how I handled the breakup, but it felt in the moment like autopilot. In short, I lost the support of our mutual friends who had become my only friends during my relationship with Nicole, which I understand as they knew her for much longer. Jack actually confronted me and called me a piece of trash for embarrassing her like that in public. calling me trash for leaving her sobbing alone and not even offering her a ride home. He wouldn't listen to my explanations and said I could excuse myself, but everyone now knew what kind of guy I really am. People at work mentioned how sad it was that we broke up.

I didn't feel like it was the place to explain my reasoning, and after the confrontation with Jack, I didn't feel like I had a right to. I felt like crap, like a bad person. and I felt numb. I tried to move on, to find a new normal. After about a month of us being broken up, she called me and begged for me to come over to help her.

She was scared she was going to do something drastic. I went to her immediately. I held her all night, helped her wash her hair after days of not being able to bring herself to. She admitted she'd done a horrible thing and that she couldn't stand how she treated me, that she wished, she could go back and change so we could still be together. Didn't know how to address that,

so I just stayed with her the whole night. And the next day at work, she came by to drop off a homemade lunch and to thank me for being there for her. I stupidly let myself get sucked back in. I get that it's my fault. Coffee in the morning became dinner and drinks out, became movie nights and going to shows and flea markets together because we still had similar interests. One time she even noticed a booth with knives and directed us away. And while yes, it wasn't necessary as I could see a knife display and not be freaked out, it was a nice gesture because she would have gone there and either bought one herself or asked me to buy it for her. One of the multiple changes that made me think maybe she was truly making an effort. That at least maybe we could be friends again. I started to

get invited back into the group somewhat. Two months later, she kissed me. We were both drunk and it didn't go any further. I didn't talk to her about it because I thought she didn't remember. But then she approached me to ask if there was any salvaging us, if she'd proven that she was different now, and things would be better. I thought maybe. I stayed because she really had been so sweet. It was like starting over, and we got back together. I was permitted back into the group in full, though Crystal had stopped talking to everyone, and Jack still refused to talk to me. And while it was awkward at first, soon enough we were acting like we'd never stop being friends for even a minute.

It felt so good to go back to normal. It was like a weight off my chest and like I could breathe again. It was nice for a while. She was so careful about the knives thing, and it really did feel so normal and steady. Sure, we had small fights, but we always made up shortly after and she'd be overwhelmingly loving after the fact. It felt like it was before. So it felt normal.

I can't pinpoint when it started to creep back, but maybe when she started watching documentaries on her phone with the sound so high while sitting next to me. Or when she'd poke or grab me while I was cutting up dinner, then laugh at my startled response. Or she'd scoff if I teared up watching or reading something, then tell me later that I was out of fondness, not exasperation, and I really needed to stop reading so much.

into it or she'd yell at me for forgetting something that she never even told me about and then the next day she'd get frustrated that i didn't insist properly that she was mistaken like it was all small things that on their own weren't even that big of a deal and i didn't feel like i could just speak up about it or else i was nitpicking her in hindsight i was making excuses and clinging to when she was nice to me trying to do anything to make sure we just stayed happy and and without bumps. Part of it was that I knew now that I'd be alone. That no one would understand why I'd throw away a good relationship.

That being with her was the best thing that could ever happen to me. We moved in together four months after us getting back together. She was hinting around that it was the only way to prove to her that I'd forgiven her and that way we could move on and be happy. She insists that I move into her place because it was easy to move an apartment into a house than the other way around. It constantly felt like she was dangling that night where she was sward over me, like one wrong move from me, and maybe the next time she wouldn't call for help. When we had fights, she paced through the house, flicking a knife, looping from the bedroom to the

living room to the office, or said every single argument was really due to the fact I was holding a grudge over the prank, and that we wouldn't be arguing if I just grew up and stop taking it. out my trauma on her. She'd tell me not to piss her off because it would be too easy for her to quote, make a mistake. And no one would think twice about what happened. A few times she'd gone on a rampage and overturned tables and threw glasses into the sink and dishwasher and said we were done for good, only for the next day to blow up my phone begging me to talk this out or have her friends encouraged me to swallow my pride and go back to her because she's miserable without me and she's trying so hard. Or she'd just wake me up with a kiss after making me sleep on the

couch as if the night before never happened. If I asked about the night before, the fight would start all over yet this time. It'd be my fault because she was trying to move on, but I was holding a grudge. The following nearly 10 months were the most terrifying. Anxiety, riddled period of my life, and I only had myself to blame. Coming home from work, I puked my guts out more than a few times on the way, just because I didn't want to go back to her. I felt trapped. She threw away the blanket my mother had knitted me for my crib because it was dirty. It wasn't dirty. It was a knit blanket that had been repaired repeatedly and hand washed frequently, so she'd accidentally put it through the wash and destroyed it.

a completely different throw blanket as a replacement in God. My name is Peter Parker, but I'm also... Spider-Man. This Thursday, we're faced with a threat. That can be anyone. The world may have forgotten Peter Parker. I'm just a neighbor, friendly neighbor. But he hasn't forgotten them.

Sometimes Spider-Man has to do the hard thing. That's my responsibility. Talk to Banner? I didn't know you could get that big. Spider-Man, brand-new day. In theaters Thursday. I got mad when I didn't consider the matter resolved. She pulled another prank, this time with a fake positive pregnancy test,

and berated me for not being overjoyed because I immediately started panicking about the cost, bringing up a child in our dysfunction, and handling the stress, rather than being excited. I feel like she wanted me to be happy so that she could crush my joy, and so was angry that I didn't play to her expectation. That night she threatened me with the knife. pointing at me and saying she should just snip me right then since I didn't want to have kids with her and then held me as I sobbed because I went into a panic. I didn't want her touching me, but I didn't know what else to do, but let her,

and do apologize to her. Another time, she did something dangerous with the knife during a fight and said I clearly want her to commit S word and didn't stop until I screamed at her begging her to stop. Sometimes when driving, she'd start speeding and swerving, or closing her eyes while on the highway and saying my fear meant I didn't trust her. Nicole just kept getting worse by the day. I remember waking up one morning with a moment of clarity. I knew she would eventually kill me.

I was sleeping next to my murderer. It still wasn't enough to push me away. Escaping her orbit seemed like too much. More than I could handle. Everything I had in me was focused on just surviving day to day. I never knew if she'd break up with me on a whim or pick a fight or be constantly pushing me closer to a panic attack all night, or if she'd flip and be so sweet and caring. I felt like every day was Russian roulette hour to hour.

Every word I said or action I did or didn't do a chance to start a raging fight. She tossed out my antidepressants and anti-anxiety medication one night, and then during the resulting argument, she made a big show of forgiving me for raising my voice. I shouldn't have done that. I have no excuse. And then helping me call in an emergency refill. For weeks after, because I said I wanted to break up during the argument, she would ask if I was going to try to run away. Every time that something went wrong.

Take out order wrong? I spilled a cup of water Streaming service not working immediately No, don't get your panties in a twist and run off And do I have to worry about you leaving me over this mistake too? Eventually that tapered off But maybe once a month during a fight She would tearfully go to our friends

And ask them to mediate Then during the meeting say that I kept threatening To leave her again over nothing And how scared she was of losing me when she didn't know what set me off. More than a few times, she showed me texts from them where her friends were saying how she deserved better and didn't need to put up with me.

But she'd tell me, I don't listen to them because I love you anyway. She'd slap me and pushed me during arguments. I could never do anything right, because even doing what she wanted without argument or not looking her in the eye could be enough to send her off the rails. Sometimes as a joke, joke just in general, one of our friends would pull out a little pack of tissues and hand it over

to me in case I'd run out, or make a production of hiding the butter knife at dinner under the napkin. It was humiliating, but if I spoke up, suddenly I was oversensitive and embarrassment, no fun, and I had to learn how to deal with adult friendships and jokes, and they'd ask her how she could stand it. As a result, I didn't spend much time with him either. either. Usually Nicole would just go out with them and I'd stay home, which was the most relaxing I've ever felt during that time, except for when she started randomly coming home without any notice or timeline, like saying she'd be home at 6 but then not coming back till midnight or early morning, or saying she'd be gone until 10 and coming early back at 2 or 3, or randomly calling

the house phone to make sure I was home and getting angry if she even thought I sounded at breathless, accusing me of having left. She started hinting around that marriage would be the next logical step, and I was insulting her by not having proposed yet. Then she bought an engagement ring with my credit card and started showing off to all her friends how perfect my choice was. I didn't want to marry her. I felt bad for not wanting to marry her. I wanted us to be happy and maybe giving her the wedding she wanted would help. I did it. want to marry her. In all those months, I never went to sleep feeling safe. I lied awake in bed, hyper aware of how close she was and tried to go over in my head if I had behaved well enough

to keep her happy and what I could do to prevent another explosion. In hindsight, it's sickening how long I let this go on for. In the moment, it was just about all I could think to do. I often woke up with nightmares which would in turn piss her off and set her off in a mood for the next day. But if I suggested sleeping separately, she would rage about how I was calling her a bad girlfriend slash fiancee slash etc. I started to keep a notebook at work and just writing shit down. Things she'd set or done. Incidents and what I'd done to set her off. It helped me feel more saying. And also more like a moron because I could read back on times she actually hurt me. and I still hadn't left.

Every time I thought about leaving, I felt sick inside. I'd lose every social contact I had. I would have to find a new place to live. I'd have to bar her from my workplace, but they can't do anything without a restraining order. And that itself felt like a hurdle too. I dropped all my old friends in favor of her and felt like they refused to even talk to me again.

I was the idiot that led her back into my life and rekindled the relationship. Despite overwhelming feedback, I was stupid enough to deserve every bit of what was happening, and too dumb to deserve to escape after wasting my previous chances. I was super depressed and had frequent fantasies of just committed an S-word. The worst part wasn't the anxiety and terror, though. It was when she was sweet and caring. For example, she always went all out for my birthday or anniversaries or Christmas,

with thoughtful gifts, except for the year where she came. kicked me out for the evening after throwing some decorations at the wall because they stopped working, for which she blamed me because I put them up. She was sweet and gentle one day or even for a week or two, only to slowly start ramping up the tension until she exploded yet again. She had an uncanny ability to blame me in ways that made me feel responsible for her emotions and for forcing her to react violently. When we drove out to visit my dad for Easter, things started to change. Dad was concerned about how quiet I'd become and that I hadn't come for Thanksgiving or Christmas or even called on New Year's Eve like I used to, that I looked tired, unhappy and thin.

Nicole was on her best behavior the whole time and even left her knives in the car, even tried to get everyone to focus on the engagement ring, but Dad still saw something was wrong. For three weeks after, he kept trying to contact me, but she wouldn't let me talk with her. her in the room and she checked my phone anytime she left me alone and checked the records online to see if I deleted my calls. Eventually, I managed to get a burner phone and hit it at work, which allowed me to talk to my dad freely. He flew over with my uncle, and they helped me gather my stuff from her house. When Nicole started sobbing and begged me to stay, my uncle kept her from the kitchen knives and had his phone ready to call 911 if she tried to hurt us.

When Nicole started to insist, I was taking her stuff too. Even though I was only taking things either I brought with me or I bought for her, I just let it go. She got to keep a few sentimental items of mine, and the loss hurts still, but the most important ones I was able to take. Like, I was able to get all of my documentation and cards out of her house. I didn't even bother with the ring. It was just money and she was already acting up.

Uncle drove my car home while dad had me fly with him. I'm ashamed to admit that the months directly following the breakup were almost worse than the time I spent with her. Because I was out of survival mode and I couldn't force myself to function the way I used to. I felt like a parasite on my father. Unable to get my stuff together. Falling apart over nothing. Being so volatile it frightened me. I'm in therapy again.

Sometimes I feel better, like I can see a way forward, but then I feel like I'm back in the thick of it and I'll never go back to normal and I'm permanently broken. Worse, every time I cry or get triggered or have a flashback, I can still hear a voice in my head

calling me over-emotional and too sensitive, that I'd be fine by now if I just got over myself, that what I went through wasn't that bad. She sent mail to my dad's house for a while, threatening letters and pleas for me to see reason and stop overreacting, pictures of us that were sentimental, guilt trips. At first, I couldn't get a restraining order right away against her because I moved. Something about the jurisdictions and courts, but when she sent those letters, it helped at least make sure she couldn't continue to contact me. I found my old laptop a while ago, and it had the password repopulate.

It wouldn't leave my mind, especially when I read what people were saying. Right now, I'm just rambling to get my head straight. To be honest, but my DMs were full of people saying how the intimacy must be amazing. How stupid guys get when they want to stick their pee-pee in something, that I don't have balls or a backbone clearly and I just need to man up. Basically everything I told myself to remind me of what I did to deserve being stuck with her. I don't know if I can muster the courage to address any responses to them, but I really just want to tie up this loose end in my life,

so maybe I can stop rehashing it mentally and finally move on. I might also give my therapist the notebook I kept of Nicole's abuse, but I haven't wanted to even look at it. There's still a box of stuff that I haven't opened up because it's all messed with my head so much. What I wish I knew at the start of all this was that any amount of genuine discomfort isn't an acceptable price in a relationship, and you're allowed to stop giving them more chances,

even if they're trying and seem sorry. You're not obligated to help people change, even if you love them, even if they do slightly better. And now let's get into some of the top comments. One user says, Glad you got out, O.P., wish you all the best, and remember, it wasn't and isn't your fault.

She used every trick she could. You survived and got out. That's a lot. I think there are support groups. Maybe worth looking into. Talk with the people who had similar experiences. Hope you'll find resources and support you need for recovery and will live happy life from now on. Best of wishes to you. And the OPE he responds and says, I appreciate that. It's hard to remember how to keep on sometimes, so thank you. And someone else says, hi there, O, Thank you for updating us on your situation. I've often thought about you since your first post years ago and genuinely, I am so incredibly sorry for everything you went through. Please know that what you were put through was not your fault in any way. Abuse is a real mind, F word. Excuse my language. And looking back from a place of freedom, your actions can seem odd even to yourself.

But in those moments, you aren't entirely yourself. Of course, we can throw around what ifs after the response to your last post, and of course, I wish you hadn't had to go through the last few years the way you did. But what's most important is that right now, you are safe again. Your dad and your uncle are wonderful people who have shown you great support, and I can guarantee your father does not want to see you as a burden, and is likely just happy that his child is safe. I wish you all the best with your future and hope you find only healing,

and comfort in the years to come. Good luck with your therapy. Make sure to take all the time you need with it and do everything at a pace best suited for you. You are the priority, and I hope it all works out for you. Well done on getting away from her. I'm so proud of you. And the OP response and says,

It's hard to feel proud because I'm still messed up. I feel like it's been too long for me to feel this way still. Thank you, nonetheless. And this is the last we have ever heard from the OP, and hopefully the OP is doing better now. And man, that ex-girlfriend of his was a complete psychopath. I mean, who plays around with knives like that and who, you know, intentionally tries to make someone scared and re-trigger their past traumas? I mean, this lady was a complete psychopath, and the OP is honestly lucky he didn't get hurt

or honestly killed because this girl seems completely off her rocker and a danger to everyone around her. So hopefully she gets the help she needs, but for now, it's good that the O.P is away from her and hopefully she doesn't, you know, get back in contact with him and hopefully the O.P. doesn't, you know, go back to her like he did prior. But I guess we'll have to see. But comment down below your thoughts. I'm curious to see what you guys have to think about this and on to the next one. I've been spending time with a good friend more recently, but I think he's only doing it so he can look at my daughter.

The last few months, I've been chatting to a friend more regularly than previously. We've been friends for over a decade, and we used to be really close, but we slowly drifted apart. I should probably mention we are both men in our 40s. It's been great catching up with him, and honestly, I really needed to be. of friends, so it's just been great. He's got a long-term girlfriend and two children. A couple of months ago, we visited his house for the first time. He recently moved, and we weren't speaking much before that,

just an occasional comment on Facebook. And me, my son, and 20-year-old daughter spent a few hours honestly just chatting about nothing, but in a good way, you know. While we were there, I noticed that he could, kept looking at my daughter out of the corner of his eye. I never really caught him fully looking, so I thought nothing of it, especially as he has known my kids for over a decade. I didn't mention it to my daughter, as I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable if it was nothing. A couple of months went by, and we visited them again. He kept talking to my daughter, and not really to me,

which is fine, but it just seemed odd when my daughter has really bad anxiety and she can't really hold a conversation, and she makes it clear when she's uncomfortable talking. He just seemed to keep looking at her and talking, even if he was talking to me. He would just look at her. The final straw was last week. We visited them and we've been having a heat wave, so we are all dressed in as minimal as possible. My daughter in a thin pair of squirts and a t-shirt, and my son in a pair of athletic shorts and a gym top, and me in a polo shirt and white chino shorts.

Nothing unusual, just basic summer wear. When we were in conversation, he would look at my daughter. When anyone told the joke, he would smirk a little, or give a small laugh depending. But if my daughter told something mildly funny, he would really laugh, to the point that even she would look awkward. He kept dropping out a conversation and just staring at her. I think she noticed it as well because she started to lean back in her chair to try to cover herself, even though she was fine.

She looked uncomfortable. Then, when the sun sets, she put on a thick jacket and zipped it up. I don't know if he's just trying to be friendly and he doesn't know how to act, or if he's only inviting us around to stare at her. And if so, then I don't know what to do. Yes, she is 20, but she's still my little girl, and this man watched her grow up. It just seems strange. I don't know if I should say something or just don't go around there again.

Either way, I think it's the end of the friendship, which is a shame, but oh well. And now let's get into some of the top comments. One user says, trust your gut. it sounds like this guy is around for all the wrong reasons. Also, who just stares at someone like that as the whole situation seems creepy and way out of line? Definitely best to keep your kids safe around this guy and cut off contact. At least that's what I would do. Another user says, even if you want to say it's no big deal,

it looks like it's a deal to your daughter. And she always comes first. You know what to do. And someone else says, why not hang out with your friends with your friends without your kids. If he has no interest in that, then you know his intentions. Also, ask your daughter if he has tried contacting her on social media. And then the OP gives us an update two days later.

And let's get into it. It reads, Updates from my last post. I spoke to my daughter about the whole thing and wanted to know what she thought about it. All because I didn't want to say anything if she didn't think it was odd. She told me that after the first time we saw him again a few months ago, he had appeared outside our work after she finished her shift and asked if she wanted a lift home instead of getting the bus.

She said that since he was a good friend of mine, she trusted him and got in his car. On the ride home, he repeatedly touched her leg and started talking about how much she's changed since he saw her last before we all met up, and how much of an adult she looks now. He told her she's growing into her body, quote, like a good girl. My daughter said that she would walk the rest of the way home

because she didn't want to put him out too much, but he insisted on driving her all the way. She said she kept moving away from him, but he was leaning to touch her knees. She said that at a red light not long before the house, he gave her his mobile number and texted himself from her phone and told her to call him if she wanted a lift or anything else. Then when she got home, she went to leave the car,

but he grabbed her arm and asked her where his hug and kiss goodbye was. Not a new thing. He gives us all a hug every time. And when she leaned in, he held her tight and whispered that she should call him. In the last few months since then, he has repeatedly been sending her explicit tag. and images and waiting outside her work asking her if she would like a lift home, even though every time she's said no.

She said she didn't want to say anything because she didn't want to upset me as he was the only friend I had. I feel sick thinking about this. This is my daughter. She's 20, but she's still my little girl and I feel like I have put her in danger. I have messaged him asking him to stop contacting my family and I've sent him to screenshots from her phone as reasons why but he is messaging me asking me why when she's an adult

and the only sleazy thing he's done is she knows girlfriend as my daughter never physically said the word stopped. She just ignored him. I'm so angry at him and myself. Edit, I'd like to say thanks to everyone for the advice Also, I've been getting a lot of mom comments, and although I appreciate the sentiment very much, I am her dad. Unfortunately, her mom passed away quite a few years ago, but I really appreciate that everyone

thought I was her mom. It really is the biggest compliment to me. I must be doing something right. We went and spoke to our local police, and they couldn't really help us as she had willingly gotten into his car. They did say that, as we have spoken to him already, they could keep a file open and if it continues, then they would be able to take action. Honestly, it seems that they don't really care about it at all, which is alarming and upsetting.

We sent these screenshots and an explanation to his girlfriend, and we've had some missed calls from him, but that's not our problem. We've blocked him on everything and have completely removed him from every social media. My daughter has spoken to her work, and they have said that, until she is able to find another job, they will ensure that at least one other staff member will wait with her for the bus, and I will be meeting her at the first stop in our town to take her directly home on days. I'm not working, and on days I am, then her grandparents will be picking her up. She is safe. I also had a lot of comments suggesting I get violent with this man.

Although I do appreciate that a lot of people would be choosing the other route of resolving the problem face-to-face, I'm not like that. I would like to be. I would like to say that there's no problem I couldn't solve that way, but that's simply not me. It doesn't make me a bad dad either. I found another way to solve the problem and make sure my daughter is safe and comfortable. Thank you all for your help and advice.

It's nice to find some support through the internet sometimes. And now let's get into some of the top comments. One user says, It's not your fault, but you need to have a sit down and type. talk through the socialization for women to be nice and how to get past that mental block. This is something a lot of us go through, and it puts us in really awful situations. Help her understand that her safety is the most important thing. She doesn't have to be nice or put up with things like this.

There's probably some very eloquent people who can speak to this topic on YouTube. It's not me. But I want to make sure she knows she doesn't have to take this shit for the rest of her life. even with the anxiety and desire not to rock any boats. And the OPEE responds and says, I've told her many times growing up that if she doesn't feel comfortable doing something, no matter what it is, then she needs to say that. It doesn't matter if it upsets someone or offends someone.

All that matters is that she is safe and comfortable. I'm hoping that she will be like this from now on, and I just hope that she knows I'm here for her no matter what. And then another user says, get her a weapon. And the O.P. says, we are in the U.K. So she's legally not allowed any weapons, including pepper spray. The only thing she's allowed is an alarm, which she already had anyway. We are looking into some objects which can be carried around legally or discreetly. Currently, we are looking into a key ring, which is like a long, sharpened stick,

though there's not many places willing to ship them to us. I'm so very sorry to hear what you've been through and I wish you well throughout your life. And then we have never heard from the O.P. ever again. So I don't know if the O.P.'s ex-friend ended up going to jail or getting in more trouble. But I just hope that the O.P.'s daughter and the O.P. are able to remain safe from this creep that the O.P. once called his friend. My 41 female partner of two years, 44 male, is adamant. cheating on him. I am not. Help? Just a bit of context. We've been together for two years. He has two kids. I have one kid, are relevant to the story. We live apart. I bought a home a few months before we started dating and are together only when our kids are with their other parent. He's the guy that has treated me

the best. Of all my relationships and I love him dearly. I'm a chronically. I'm a chronically anxious and stressed person, and he's absolutely my piece. But today, he sucker punched me with this. He's absolutely convinced that I am cheating on him. The reason he suddenly started thinking this is because two days ago, I wanted to show him something on my phone. There was an irrelevant tab opened, my hotmail account that is full of spam, had this account for the past 24 years, but mostly used my Gmail. He saw, quickly in passing, that there was a folder with a man's name. Let's say James. I don't remember the purpose of the folder. It's empty. I haven't touched it in 15 years. No idea why it exists. It was probably useful at some point, but no idea. Well, now, he's convinced

that, number one, I closed the tab too quick. Number two, I was acting weird and nervous. and suspicious. And number three, this means I have cheated or I am actively cheating. That's his perspective. Now onto the actual truth. I am absolutely not cheating on him. He is the man of my dreams, love of my life. I have never ever given him a reason to even suspect I'm cheating. I spent one entire week with him at his place, never hid my phone or anything like that. my house it means I'm with my kiddo and my time is 100% devoted to her. I also work a lot. There is not a single second in my life where I would have time to devote to any other person, even through email. I spend my downtime at home being with kiddo and the cat, watching YouTube

videos. I send them a lot of pictures of me chilling with my cat as well and we have a constant communication going. I'm very chatty through text. Anyways, at first I was soon as well. I was super pissed and also confused because why on earth would you not trust me? What is happening? No matter what I say, he says I don't make sense whatsoever and he's just adding one plus one into him the answer is too. I keep telling him that he's the one not making any sense. We're back and forth on the texting. He doesn't even want to speak over the phone or come over to talk about it. I've sent him numerous screenshots of my email with unopened emails that go back more than a year. I've sent screenshots of me typing the keyword James in the email and nothing coming up.

I've shown him the completely empty scent folder, which to me is weird. I've sent numerous emails over the years. Why is it empty? And I've also given him the login and password so he can look for himself. I have accumulated a lot of junk in that email over the many years I've had it, but rarely use it now. It is just a receptacle of all my Amazon orders, my McDonald's app receipts, and various spam emails. I'm pissed that he doesn't trust me. He says he needs time to think. I'm stuck in a loop of pissed, confused, and sad.

What's going on? Help. And now let's get into some of the top comments. One user says, Is this incredibly out of character for him? Or has he always been a bit jealous? and suspicious. Could he be the one cheating and projecting?

And the OPEE responds and says, this is wildly out of character. I am unsure if he would be projecting his own cheating. Anything is really possible, but I would hope not. I don't believe so. His high libido and we have intimacy daily when we're together, which is every other week, except when one of us is sick.

I give him everything he needs in that department, and all the other departments as well. We take good care of each other typically. Another commenter says, I hear so many stories about stuff like this happening on Reddit. I feel like most people would say, he's projecting and he's the one cheating and just try to push the blame on you.

You're the only one outside of him who truly knows this relationship. Has there been anything else going on in the relationship as of late? And the OP responds and says nothing. Everything is fine. We are great. we have excellent communication we talk through things never had a fight never scream at each other we're very loving physically but we can also coexist quietly in the same space doing our own thing it's truly

truly amazing typically this is completely bonkers to me right now i told him i understand where he was coming from and i am willing to work through this with him he has full access to everything he ever wants whenever he wants i have shown myself to be trustworthy to a fault when i say haven't touched i'm not sure if it's a translation thing i just mean i have not used it as at my primary email in a very long time and the email is only used as an inbox for receipts and useless crap and then we get an update four days later. And the O.P. said it best themselves. This one does not end well.

Let's get into the update. The O.P. says, So it did not end well after 48 hours of back and forth through texting because he refused to even speak to me over the phone or face to face and me giving him my password so he can go check for himself that nothing was messy. He still would have backed down. At this point, his behavior. was concerning, and I thought he may have a mental episode going on. It was getting to be too much.

He was texting me at all hours of the night trying to make sense of something that doesn't make sense in the first place. So, I blocked him. When he realized that he sent me emails at my work email, asking me to check my hot mail, which had nothing different in it. When I blocked his email, he decided to message my best friend in telling her, if I can't talk to her, I'll go through you instead. My friend has literally nothing to do whatsoever with this whole thing. She never replied and is sticking with me because she's also seen how crazy he is acting. So I thought that was that. Yesterday at work, I was visibly sad and distressed, and my whole team hugged me, offered support, and I had lunch with my other good friend and colleague. So the day goes by, and I get off of work at

I am walking to my car in the parking lot, flanked by two colleagues, and I'm kind of explaining the whole story. They go to one of the girl's cars because they carpool. I walk towards my own car, which is parked two rows away. I hear a loud man's voice behind me. I turned around, and it's him. He's walking very quickly towards me and still talking nonsense about emails. I hold my hand up and say, I'm not doing this with you right now. All the while, calculating whether I'm safe to go to my car or not. He was screaming at me that I was a horrible person.

I've never seen him act like this before at all. A little energy pushed me to turn around and go to my colleague's car. At this point, I'm shaking and scared. I enter her car and start hyperventilating. They're like, we'll drive you home. He was about six feet from the car, hate in his eyes, motioning me to get out of the car. We drove off. I kept apologizing to them, crying and looking behind us the whole trip to make sure he wasn't following us. When I came home, my mother was there. I broke down and she called the cops.

A nice officer told me over the phone, I got nothing else going on right now. You're my priority. And I'm coming to you as soon as I can. He came to my home, took my deposition, was extremely patient and understanding, explained everything that he was going to do after. My ex was placed under arrest for criminal harassment with certain conditions to follow. Not sure about the legal terms here, but they did not handcuff him or take him to jail.

It was just a verbal thing, and he will probably be summoned in court at a later date. I have a good network of people who care, and I believe I am safe. Thanks, everybody. and now let's get into some of the top comments. One user says, The one piece of advice I will offer.

People like this often ignore the police because they are no longer living in our reality. Been there. Just because they have mental health issues, clearly here, it doesn't mean you have to feel one ounce of sympathy or guilt because whatever is going on. It's destroyed any chance of them being allowed in your life anymore. You may well get guilty.

guilt slash sympathy pangs and you should grab them by the collar and throw them out on their ass the moment they enter your head the only way to mentally deal with stocky exes is to literally stop caring about them at all as then the only decisions you will make will be around your own safety and the opi replies and says thank you i needed to hear this i am angry at him but sometimes during the day i have small bounce of things like did i overreact am i being too harsh with having him arrested, and I have huge regrets about it. But then I realize, hey, the actual officer of the law told me he had enough motive to literally arrest him. So, I'm doing the right thing. Another commenter says, reminds me of an episode of ER, I think,

and the person acting irrationally ended up having a brain tumor. And the O.P. responds and says, yep, some tumors can change a person's personality drastically. Sadly, this is not the case here. He's a drug addict and uses multiple times a day, which leads me to think that's where his little mental episode stemmed from. And another user says, stay safe, O.P. Change passwords, monitor bank details and credit, limit your visibility across social media to friends

and maybe consider asking friends not to tag you went out for a reasonable period of time. This will limit his ability to bump into you unexpectedly. Unfortunately, the police can be quite slow to act on these cases, so do look after yourself by taking reasonable legal precautions, continue to document any unwanted interactions, and report them to the police. And then the OP makes a mini-update on the same post a few hours later, and this reads, I just had a two-hour conversation with his ex.

Let's call her Jess, not the mother of his kids, but the girl he dated between the kid's mother and me. a very interesting conversation. She has lived exactly the same situation as me, minus the calling of cops. She told me he was ultra-controlling, physically and verbally abusive to his two sons, a bad drug habit,

an unhealthy-slash-bordeline inappropriate relationship with the mother of its children, and he was psychologically and S-A- towards Jess. She told me, he used to put her on a pedestal, same as me. But he had a lot of behavioral problems that I've noticed but chose to ignore

just because I loved him so much. I hope he gets the help he needs. And then the OPE makes another mini update the next day and it reads, He's following me, saw him twice today where he shouldn't have been, documented that to the police station. They are super nice and understanding.

Thank God. Then the OPE makes another update that says so far so good nothing worthy to mention since the second update i have many many people in the hospital i work at often walk me to the car i am never alone i am actually safer at work than at home everyone has been wonderful and this ended up being the last post we have ever received from the op and i just really hope that this guy left her alone i mean this guy is completely psychotic delusional and unhinged. I mean, he obviously has a drug problem, so he might not be in the best state of mind. And so hopefully he was, you know, arrested or the OPE got a restraining order in place and got this guy to

get away from her because this guy could be dangerous. And yeah, we never got an update again, so we don't know what ended up happening. But, yeah, hopefully the OPE is doing all right. And all right, guys, that wraps up some deranged true Reddit threads. I really hope you enjoyed today's video. If you did, please leave a like down below and subscribe to the channel. And would you like to see more of my face? My face was just in the intro. I'm trying to get down how to film it, right, how to get the editing right.

I'm new to cameras. I'm pretty decent with the microphone now and talking with the microphone. But if I introduce the cameras, it'll be a little bit of a work in progress for the time being. But would you even like to see more of my face in the future? If so, comment down below. I appreciate you guys watching. you guys are the best and just like I said thank you so much for watching it truly does me and the world and yeah if you enjoyed this video I'm sure you will enjoy some other videos on the channel so go check

out some other videos on the channel and um yeah that wraps up today's video so this was snook and I'll see you next time bye