Snook - Sinister Anonymous Confessions

Episode Date: July 7, 2025

A huge thank you for everyone who submitted their confessions, and thank you for the support on these videos! I love creating this safe space for you all to get some stuff off of your chest... and I appreciate all of the emails! I’m sorry I can’t include them all in each video, but I try to read everyone! Feel free to send in whatever you feel fits, and try to label your emails as 'Confessions' when you send them in! Thanks!If you want your confession in a future video, email here - [e-mail] you for watching! You all are the best! Thank you for the support!Stay safe, and I love ya! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey, what's up guys, and welcome back to another anonymous confessions video. You guys have been loving these anonymous confessions videos a lot, so I'm going to keep recording them as long as you guys keep watching them. I really appreciate you guys stopping by. It means a lot. And these are all viewers submitted confessions. These are some things you guys wanted to get off your chest or let the world know and say sorry for, I guess. And if you would like to see your confession in a future video, send it to the email that is on screen now. I try to include them all.

Some of them are not within YouTube guidelines, so I can't include those. But please feel free to send it in. I'll probably reply, and I really appreciate it. And also, please like the video and subscribe to the channel. It also more than you know. The channel's goal is 1 million subscribers now, so please subscribe so we can, you know, get closer to that goal. And also I'd just love for you to join the community if you're not already subscribed.

And all right, without further ado, let's get into some sinister anonymous confessions. Hey, Snook, I only recently started watching your videos, but I think this would make for an interesting story. As with others, I wish to remain anonymous. The statute of limitations has expired for this considering nothing ended up happening. So I'm not too worried about legal issues. This happened in the mid to late 2010s. The limitation is five years in my state. I almost paid someone to kill someone else. Emphasis on almost. I did not go through with it. but I was close. There's no excuse for it. I had no good justification, but I can't change the past now. I actually don't remember the names at this point, so we'll call my friend Josh and the almost victim, Drake. Now, Drake was annoying as hell. Hainna laugh, always effing with people, always getting into trouble, most kids hated him. Josh and I especially did not like him. Josh himself was a very weird dude. had this aura like he's been through and done some dark shit. So it wasn't all that surprising to learn he wanted to snap Drake's neck.

I offered him to pay him to do it. I don't remember the amount to at this point, not like it matters. And so the money was out, right over his hand, and I took it away at the last second. I couldn't do it, not for the crime of just being annoying. Josh was disappointed but didn't give me shit for it either. Nobody ever knew. Definitely not Drake. Only reasoning I can think of for me going that far to the dark side is I was a very angry and bitter teenager.

I hated everyone and didn't think I'd live past high school. None of that is an excuse, but it's a potential reason. It doesn't scare me as much as it used to, but I've never even considered something this dark since this happened. I've also stopped being so bitter, so that helps. I haven't talked to Josh since high school. I don't think I want to. Anyway, thank you if you do end up reading this. I hope it made sense, as my memory is fuzzy considering how long it's been.

No one is safe to pass. Hey Snook, I'm writing this after watching your most recent confessions video. In it, a writer confessed to an incident where they were reckless when attempting to pass someone on the road. They aren't alone in this poor judgment. A smidge of context. In high school, I was an awful mental place. Toxic friendships, family issues. I was spiraling even when I felt calm.

That's the part of mental instability no one makes a point of. You lose yourself confidently sometimes. Anyway, onto the confession. I was driving an hour and a half to a friend's cabin. I had a strained relationship with this person and had a lot of my mind during the drive. A lot of self-confidence issues, worries over this friend and our mutual connections talking bad about me behind my back. I was incredibly paranoid and kept thinking he would think less of me if I was late. late. He was cruel to me in a lot of ways and did gossip about me, but that's not relevant.

During my drive, I alongside five or six other cars, got caught behind this massive camper. It was going five to ten below the speed limit, and I was deeply annoyed. I couldn't be late to spend in a shitty weekend with my shitty friend, though, so I figured I would pass the camper. I was a relatively new driver, only a few years under my belt. I was a car behind the camper, so three of us bummer to bumper in a single lane. It was the summer, and I don't know if you're familiar, but lake traffic can dominate roads up here. The opposite traffic was equally congested, and I knew passing would be a stupid idea. I still went for it. It was like my mind went blank. I truly didn't care if I crashed

and died. I wasn't well. I was just driving to please this friend. I kept engine back and forth trying to gauge a good time to pass these two vehicles. I hardly passed cars, let alone a truck towing a massive trailer or camper before, let alone a car and a camper. I go to pass. I made the wrong call. My car was a piece of shit, a 2002 Chevy Trailsblazer. It wasn't a good car, but it was mine. It couldn't accelerate quickly. I knew that. I thought I had time. I stared forward, flat expression, and not an ounce of adrenaline. I watched. as a red sedan came towards me, followed by a trail of traffic. I didn't return my position.

I sped up. I believed I wouldn't crash. I would make it. I wanted to apologize to whoever was in that car, to everyone on the road that day. I didn't back down. But that sedan did. They quickly went onto the shoulder, and before the second car could reach me, I managed to get in front of the camper and onto safety.

No one honked their horn. no one screamed in a way I could hear, though I imagined many did. It was silent, and I sped down that county road away from my bullshit. As far as I could tell, no one got hurt. No one got driven into a ditch or whatever else, but I definitely gambled with my life and many other drivers on the road that day. I didn't feel anything for a minute during that drive. Stunned shock over my actions, maybe, but my other feeling was delayed.

It wasn't the first time I would get it that way. There were other moments where I would just steer into the way, like I wanted to or wasn't concerned with getting struck. I would even drive stone later that year, barely able to stop my eyes from shaking. I made poor judgment after poor judgment. Thankfully, this idiocy hasn't persisted today. A word of warning to drivers, new or old. If you aren't of sound mind, you must play it safe behind the wheel.

Keep yourself in check. Always assume that anything you do could lead to someone's death. you're operating a massive hunk of metal hurling down the road. Don't be a moron. My biggest regret has been that day, my actions. Even though no one got hurt, that was due to dumb luck. If my car sputtered even a little bit more, if that sedan hadn't pulled over,

I wouldn't be riding this. I would have caused a massive pile up as well, resulting in more lives lost. Get help if you can relate to me. Talk about your feelings. don't disregard yourself in your own life. If your friends take up all of your gray matter, you need to do some serious introspection on why that is and if you're healthy.

I knew I wasn't well and still didn't do anything until I was staring down a red sedan. Learn from me. Oh, in that cabin stay? Awful. I hated every second of it. If somehow the guy I stayed with is watching this and recognizes the few clues I've left to who I am, Fuck you, buddy. I hope whoever spends time with you now has a kinder version than the one I knew for six years.

Confession. I feel responsible for the murder of my best friends. Hi, Snook, I've never told anyone this, not even my therapist. Sorry for how long this is, but I'd like to get this off my chest. Please keep me anonymous. I'll start by saying I'm autistic, and I've always had a hard time making friends. and I'm not very popular. Growing up, there were two girls living down the street from me.

They were nine and twelve. I was 13. They were basically my only friends at the time, and we hung out often. They had an older cousin who lived with them, around 20, I believe. I'll call him Skyler, not his real name. He wasn't neurotypical and was often incredibly mean to me. Because I'm autistic, and had been called the R word frequently in school, I was, am to an extent still am, of the first.

view that autistic and other neurodivergent people are allowed to reclaim the word. One day, we were at the park. Me and Skyler got into a fight. He was supposed to look after us at the park, but when my friend, the 9-year-old, fell and got hurt and started crying, he just told her to shut the F up. I snapped at him. Be as mean to me as you want, but I'm not cool with you effing with my friends, and that's true to this day.

I called Tyler a Fing R-word T-word. And that's similar to how it was written, so yeah, make of that what you want. Words I regret to this day. I stormed off back to my house crying. My friend, the 12-year-old, followed me home and tried to calm me down. She was so nice and kind. I wish I would have listened to her instead of pushing her away. I'm so sorry.

A few days later, their cousin went on a rant on Facebook. I don't remember what he said and I can't get myself to look, but he said stuff along the lines of people in this world are so cruel. and I hope the next one is better, and I won't go alone. We will be happy in the next life, et cetera. That night, he snapped and ended the lives of my two friends, their parents, their dog, and himself. I know I'm not the only one who was mean to him. He went through the same shit at work and probably at college to an extent, but I can't deny that I said that.

I'm probably the straw that broke his back. Again, I have not told anyone, and sorry if this wasn't concise. I'm very emotional about this. It's been years since this, but I feel like it should have been me. I've never said the R words since, not even amongst my friends, even though it is still my view that it's not bad for neurodivergent people to say it. I'm much more aware of how much impact words have on people, but I just can't shake the feeling that if I was never their first,

friend, if I was never born even, then they would still be here. I'm so sorry. I don't think there's an afterlife, but if there is an afterlife, I hope they someday forgive me. But I know I'm going to hell. P.S. I'm not S word. It might sound like I am from some of what I said, but I promise I'm not. Thank you so much for listening. Need to get this off my chest. And if it makes it into a video, feel free to share your thoughts. and wow, that one, this is heavy. Not going to lie. I really hope you're doing better.

I did not expect it to take that turn. I'm not a therapist. I'm just going to give my honest thoughts, I think, and some general thoughts. I really think you should talk to a therapist. That is a huge thing for someone to go through. And I really hope you're doing better now. But I also don't think you should blame yourself. that guy to do that what he did um there has to be a lot more going on he has to be off his rocker a little bit

um that's just wow i'm i'm blown away i really hope you can um maybe find some peace with a therapist or something like that i really think you should go talk to somebody like that i think you'll help you out, you know, take some weight off of your shoulders. This is insane to hold just yourself. It really is. And I wouldn't keep blaming yourself. I really don't think it's your fault. Words do have, you know, impact, but he, in that scenario, you described, it sounded like he deserved it. I would have probably done the exact same thing. There was probably a lot going on in that guy's life to do what he did. I, yeah, I just, my final thoughts are kind of please get a therapist or tell a trusted somebody. Tell trusted somebody in your life, somebody you trust.

Whether that's a friend, teacher, family, whatever, you really should talk to somebody. I hope you're doing better. And, yeah, much love. Things will get better. But thank you so much for sharing. On to the next one. I stole money for my special needs cousin. Hello, Snook. After seeing your YouTube video, I decided to confess. This may be more tame than your other confessions, but I need to get this off my chest. When I was 13, I stole money for my special needs cousin. I can't remember how much it was, but I just know I took it. For context, even though it's not a good excuse, she has stolen a lot for me, like money, tarot cards, Pokemon cards, incense, etc. Because my mom watches my cousin when her mom goes to work, she watches.

She watches her and sometimes brings her purse if they're going out to eat or something like that. I knew she carried money with her. I was fed up with her stealing stuff from me, so I stole stuff from her. She left it at our house one day and I got into it, took the money and put it back. I'm not sure if she knows or her mom knows and just shrugged it off as her just being special needs or faking. I know this is a horrible thing to do. I won't blame my past abuse for stealing like many people in your videos do or anything taboo they shouldn't do. Anyways, this is my confession.

This is obviously free for you to use in a video, but I doubt you well. Hello, Snook. Let me start by saying that I love your videos and always look forward to seeing them, especially your confessions video. I'm so glad I found your channel. Thank you so much for the kind of words. I really appreciate it. Your anonymous confessions videos have inspired me to submit my own confession.

So, here it is. For context, I'm someone who is on the autism spectrum, although I'm more on the high-functioning side. Why I need to include this is because I feel it contributes to my confession. I know people diagnosed with autism slash Asperger's feel, think, and act a certain way that's different from neurotypical people and that there are no way dangerous to others. I, on the other hand, can't help but sense that I may just be that, though, as the way I feel and the way I think goes to way, way darker, more sinister, terror.

I constantly have thoughts about inflicting harm to not only strangers, but also to certain close family members and even my significant other. I think of different ways as how to harm them all, which is actually a lot, whether I have access to things to use or not, whether I have access to sharp objects, firearms, substances, flammables, you name it. It doesn't even matter the age or a race of people. I've thought of it all. I think about how satisfied I'd be to watch the life of people.

fade away by my own doing, to see the horror on their faces, the sparkle in their eyes dim, to hear them cry and beg. I watch a lot of true crime documentaries and wonder if someday all end up featured in some due to the thoughts I inhibit and if I end up snapping and acting on set thoughts. I am obviously antisocial, as you'd expect. I have no people skills, don't know how to keep relationships. I have job hop from place to place because I can't stand people to an extreme degree. I've gotten complaints at work about how the aggressive way I interact with the clientele. I even almost got fired from my last job because I pulled pepper spray on a man in front of his own child just because I didn't like his attitude.

The same can be said for when it comes to certain family members. For example, I have a cousin who so desperately wishes to have children with her partner. But because I happen to personally not really like her for whatever reason, I intrusively think about me punching her in the stomach so that she, to suffer a miscarriage and be depressed. I also have an aunt who I will admit loves a good bottle of wine, and yet I imagine myself bashing a bottle on her head and wonder how delighted it be to hear the shatter of the glass break on her head, maybe even some shards breaking skin and causing her head to bleed. With my significant other, who I've been together with for almost 10 years, while I do love

them with all my heart, I also wish sometimes they die, even if it's by my own hand. If we were to get an argument, I think about either strangling them or using some sort of weapon on them. I'm sure you get my point here. Like yeah, I know it's not normal to not like everybody and not want to affiliate with them, no matter if it's my bloodline or they're a stranger, but I seriously feel like it'd be best to hurt them or better yet to get rid of them one way or another. However, I know that this is no way to think. It's unhealthy at best, but I can't help it, nor do I know how to stop from having these thoughts. The most I've done to get help from myself is go to my primary doctor and ask if I could be given some sort of medication,

which I have been prescribed antidepressants as a starter, but a primary family doctor can only do so much without me going to a more qualified doctor like a therapist slash psychiatrist. I know I need to seek other ways to get help, but I fear that of getting the appropriate help I need. I'll instead be admitted somewhere or whatever. That's pretty much it for this anonymous confession. I'm sorry if it's a lengthy one. I'll leave it up to you if you want to get.

give some sort of response or not, and I thank you for giving me and others a safe space to send confessions like this. Keep up the good work. And all right, I think I'll have to leave my thoughts on this one. And you did say you went to a doctor and got antidepressants. I probably, for stuff like this, I don't know. I'm not a doctor. I'm not a therapist. But, you know, instead of getting instantly onto medication, I think you should really talk to somebody dude. And, you know, sometimes medications can make people feel certain ways, even if it's supposed to make them less depressed, like antidepressants. And so instead of going to a primary doctor who isn't very, you know, fielded in that sort of stuff, I would go to a psychiatrist. Please go to a psychiatrist,

go to a therapist. You could be better diagnosed and properly medicated instead of just a regular doctor. I really think you should go to a therapist, go to a psychiatrist. I can't tell you whether or whether or not you will get admitted to somewhere. But, you know, it's worth a shot, dude. I really think you should, you know, get this figured out, talk to somebody before, like you said, you snap and you do something you will regret. Yeah, please, dude, talk to psychiatrists, talk to a therapist, talk to somebody, and I think just getting it out to somebody would help. Just talk about it, and that might help alleviate it. You know, sometimes people are really annoying, but to think of your significant other,

to think of family, to think of strangers, and want to, you know, hurt them all, that is not positive. So my final thoughts, please go talk to a psychiatrist, please go talk to a therapist, please, or just talk to somebody. before this could get out of hand, keep spiraling, which a lot of stuff like this can and will do. Like I said, not a therapist, I'm not a doctor, but those are just some general things I know.

And I think it's best if you go to a psychiatrist and get properly medicated or properly diagnosed. But for this, I think you should really just talk to somebody. I think that would be very positive for you. Thank you so much for sharing. I appreciate the kind of words, and on to the next one. I think I'm the reason my grandfather committed S-word. Hi, Snook, I'm a big fan of your channel and started watching at the start of this year.

I don't know if my story really fits, but it's something I've struggled with for a while and felt that I need to share. I hope it helps someone else who might be going through the same thing. If you do share my story, I ask that you please keep me anonymous. Much love and onto my story. Two years ago, my grandfather committed S-word. There was no notes, no phone call, just nothing. His neighbor found him. I will never forget the way I felt when my dad told me he died and how he passed,

and I can't help but think it was my fault. You see, I've been avoiding his calls for a while. He was a good man, and I loved him greatly, but he was also a hard man. He always found a way to point out my flaws, how my friends were bad to me, how I was going to do great things. I was his favorite grandchild, and the pressure was hard on me, so I started shutting him out. I know it's not my fault. He made a choice that he can't take back, but deep down, I still feel like it's my fault. I don't think I can ever forgive him. After my grandmother, his wife died, we tried so hard to get him to move closer to us, but he wouldn't

do it. He locked himself away from the world in that lonely house and drove himself to Sward. He knew he was loved and he knew we would help, but he left and now I have to live with that. I don't really know how to end this, so I'll leave with this. No matter how alone you feel or how desperate you are, S word is not the answer. It affects so many people you might not even know. I have never been the same since it happened to me. I still have nightmares about his actions and is something that will haunt me forever. That is what will happen to everyone around you.

Please talk to someone. Anyone. There are resources for you and you are loved, even if you don't feel like it. Thank you for reading this, Nook. I love your channel and everything you're doing. If you have any thoughts, feel free to share. Thank you for giving us a place to share.

Thank you so much for, you know, sharing this. I really appreciate it. And I'm so sorry that I had to censor and self-censor saying the S word. I had to, or else, you know, YouTube doesn't show it to nearly as many people. So I'm sorry. I felt like it was very disrespectful to do that, but, you know, for people to view the video, I kind of have to. With that out of the way. I, like I said, in the past ones, but I think you yourself, you yourself should talk to somebody. I know you gave that. I don't know if you are, but I really don't think you should carry the weight around that.

you feel like it was your fault. That's a heavy weight to carry around. And I think that, you know, talk to somebody. And in reality, it's probably not your fault. You know, I don't know the whole situation, but I would just, you know, get a therapist, get somebody to talk to. I really hope you're doing better because that's a big thing to not forgive yourself for. And I hope you can, because I can't imagine that. I really hope you're doing better now and your family as a whole is doing better now. I really wish you much love

and yeah, just talk to somebody, therapist, friend, family. I don't know if you are, like I said, but, you know, just talk to somebody, help so much. And same with everyone else is confessions I've covered. Just talk to somebody. It really makes things better.

It's not healthy. It's not good. to keep it to yourself. That is never the right answer. So thank you so much for sharing this, and thank you so much for the words at the end of your confession. I really, really hope that helps somebody out here, and that is the exact reason I make these videos. So people feel like they're not alone in their scenario. And I just love this place to share. And I'll keep making these videos as long as you guys keep sending in confessions, because I just feel like it's great to have people have this place to share.

Now, I know I'm kind of rambling a lot in this video, but I think it's, you know, whatever, I'm giving my thoughts. And, yeah, everybody out there, talk to somebody, get off your chest. It's not healthy to keep it in. Thank you so much for sharing. Much love. I hope you keep doing better. And just take it a day at a time.

On to the next one. My brother is a substance addict and my parents don't know. Hi, Snook. This is now my second time. I'm submitting a confession, but my first is probably too graphic for YouTube. I love listening to your videos while I'm trying to fall asleep or while I work. Anyways, like the title says, my brother is basically a substance addict, and I'm not sure what I should do. My brother is now 22, but he started smoking grass when he was in his teens and still living at home.

Since then, he's basically become addicted to grass. He says it helps him with his ADHD, even though he's already on Adderall. Since my brother moved out, he's gotten really into rave culture, and with that culture comes these substances. He's tried so many substances, basically everything except Breaking Bad Crystal and Jesse Pinkman laying on the bed. Substance. He takes M and tab of substance regularly while at raves and also while at home. I worry about what these things are doing to his body and his brain. It's not like he's some homeless, jobless bum.

He actually has a really good job and owns his house, but even still, I know how easily it is to get addicted to these things. I've tried to bring up these things to my parents without saying, hey, my brother is doing hard substances, but they just say, don't want to know what he's doing at the raves. I feel like there's no one I can confine in, and I don't want to be the one to say to my brother. I've always had a weird relationship with my brother,

and since he's older than me, I don't feel like I'm in a position of authorities to be telling him to stop or that I'm worried. Any advice from you or any viewers would be much appreciated. I just feel burdened with this information and needed to tell someone. Thank you for reading and I tried to keep this brief, but I were invited a bit.

Take care, MR. And I just have to say, I'm blown away by how much you care. I guarantee a lot of people, no family members, that are substance addicts and sorry I had to censor this one as well but you care a lot about your brother and that's very commendable and that's wow I'm just blown away by how much you care and that's awesome that you you know care so much about your brother although I'm not sure what route you should take maybe talk to your parents more but if they don't care then you know that's tough or maybe bring

it up to your brother sometimes he may not realize what he's doing is so bad you know, if he's in sort of a crowd like that, everyone's doing it or doing stuff like that, you know, he's like, okay, this is normal, this is fine. I'm not doing too much damage to myself or my brain. But if you come out and be like, hey, dude, I've just been worried about you. That could hit him like a truck. I think that's definitely worth it. And even though you're the younger brother, I still think that even has almost more weight.

you know, his younger brother coming to almost, you know, lay down the law and be like, yo, dude, this is bad for you. So even though he's older than you, and I think you should just talk to him, you know, nothing crazy, but just try to be honest. Don't come out, don't come out from the, you know, authoritative kind of pointing at him and being like, hey, this is bad, and start criticizing him. Don't criticize him. I think that's when you could get defensive and not listen to you at all. But I think if you come from kind of this direction, which you came in this confession and wrote this way, I think you've become from the very, you know, adoring and kind of emotional way of approaching it would be the best. I don't know

if that makes sense. I just word vomited a lot, but I think if you approach it very careingly, that would be the best way to do it. I think you should. And yeah, stuff like that's not good for you in the long run. I'm not saying it's bad at 100%, but if he's doing it all the time, it can definitely lead him down a dark path. Like you said, he's not homeless, which is great, but you never know. If he keeps going down this path, he could, you know, addiction is a crazy thing. I think that's all my thoughts. I don't know if this makes any sense. I don't know if everyone just clicked off the video after hearing this rant. But yeah. I really appreciate you sharing this, and you seem like a very caring person.

That's very commendable. Great work and much love. And email me back. If you do talk to them, I'd love to hear how they went. Anyways, thanks so much for sending. On to the next one. Confession. I am all right with being a narcissist.

Hey, Snook, I've been watching your videos for a while now, and I enjoy them. So I decided I would confess as well. This is a glimpse into a brain riddled with narcissism. I have been diagnosed with a multitude of disorders. My genetics and upbringing are unfortunately both not great. What I want to talk about, though, is my NPD, narcissistic personality disorder, as well as traits of other cluster B personality disorders. I'm a young adult male. This is me almost entirely unmasking.

I'm very apathetic, especially towards people. I don't understand them. I've spent my entire life trying my absolute best to be normal, to feel empathy or to understand how people usually function. And it's very clear to me that I never will function like them. It's weird. I make friends extremely easily. I'm charming, I'm smart and aware of it.

I'm not extremely intelligent, but I still consider myself smart, and other people do as well. People trust me easily. Yet despite that some have picked up on the empty look of my eyes, they tell me I always look like I'm behind a thick mist, unreachable in a way. Despite having so many people around, I care about almost none of them.

I wouldn't mind if something happened to them. I wouldn't mind if they cut me off. Every single conversation and relationship is transactional to me. I don't confine in people about the depths of my apathy, but I'm sure a lot of them suspect something is not entirely right. I wish I wasn't cursed like this. But oddly enough, I also don't. don't mind it too much. I believe my narcissism makes me inherently better and that my personality

traits are just overall superior. Despite being in therapy for many years now, I don't think I will entirely overcome this, and I'm content with that. I lie easily, I used to steal, it got boring so I don't feel the need to anymore, and I'll always be at the center of my own world. I don't understand how anyone can value someone else above themselves, and I don't understand how my condition isn't the norm. My life is a big pretending game. Oddly enough, I do feel a connection to some animals. I really love my two cats, before they both left my life in circumstances I won't delve into now. The story is awful, and I miss them greatly. This is one of the only instances where I know I felt love. I don't feel broken. I am aware that there's a lot wrong with the way I function, but I've

realized I have a limited range of motion with how much I can truly change. I am trying to do. I am trying to do better, to contain any outburst of anger, to conceal my apathy so I don't hurt those around me. And this is the best I can do. Maybe someone can relate to this or find it interesting. If you have any input, snooker viewers, feel free to share. I do want to say that I won't take advice because nothing has ever changed the way I function, but I'm curious as to what others have to say on this matter. In a right, I really don't have anything to say because, you know, you said you weren't even open to advice, so I don't know if I'll leave much of anything. People, I'm sure, down below will leave some comments.

And, you know, it seems like you're doing all right. You obviously think very highly of yourself. And confidence isn't a bad thing. But it seems like you are almost wearing this narcissism as a superpower almost, even though that's probably not the case. you know treating every relationship as transactional will 1,000% have its drawbacks you may not find a girlfriend or a boyfriend or whatever you're looking for you know you might but you know a lot of people would like to feel genuinely loved and if you don't care about that then oh well you know I don't really know where I'm going with that but you'll have your drawbacks if you don't want to help and it seems like you don't want help so What is anyone to do? I'd recommend, you know, maybe go into therapy with more of an open mind.

It seems like you don't have much of an open mind to this, but it's up to you. And everyone watching, please leave some feedback to this guy, and it seems like he wants some advice. Or doesn't want advice, but just wants, you know, thoughts. And thanks for sharing on to the next one. Hey again, Snook. I love your videos and enjoy the confessions. I enjoy listening to what you put out and still think you deserve to. to have 500,000 followers.

I have a confession for you, one that I know people will get angry over, but I myself am struggling with it due to the biases, personal experiences, and overall perception of it. I cannot accept the fact that I've, 34 male, been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. To start this off, let's go back about 10 years to when I got arrested. Back in the day, I was deep in the throes of alcoholism. I was a raging alcoholic and got arrested for drunk. driving. I know it was wrong and I'm still deeply ashamed that I was selfish and stupid enough to drive in blackouts. But when you're sick to that caliber, you can justify anything as long as

you can get your hands on another drink. So there I was, in trouble with the law. One of the things I had to do was go to court order therapy. There, I discovered that I was self-medicated for a slew of mental problems I wasn't aware of. Bipolar disorder, intermittent explosive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and a fourth one I'll get to in a moment. I kept the therapy, but ditched the bottle. To date, I've been sober for 10 years. May 29th, 2025 was my 10th year anniversary, but this is where the confession starts. As time has gone on, I've been struggling with my mind. I've been in the hospital four times for horrible depressive episodes, getting worse with each episode.

At first, it was general, horrible depression, and the wanting to die. But then it started getting scary. I started having visual hallucinations. I was getting more and more paranoid that people were in my house or stalking me. And I'd hear voices not only telling me to commit S-word, but also screaming, literally screaming at me in languages I didn't understand. I know they were yelling at me in Russian, French, and Korean, but I can't tell you. tell you exactly what they were saying. I just know they were loud and angry. At first, the doctors

knew there was a fourth thing there, but didn't quite know what it was. The fourth time in the hospital, I told the doctors about the hallucinations and the voices, and he finally concluded that I had schizoaffective disorder. I was having the mood swings and the hallucinations and the paranoia, plus my mom's mom had schizophrenia bipolar, as it was called back in the day. So I could chalk it up to genetics. My grandma was cat shit crazy, been in and out of hospitals as well. Was on first generation psychotropic medications, had the uncontrollable twitches and lip smacking in the schizophrenic shuffle because of said medications. It just made sense to me. I could accept that. Still missed the hell out of my grandma, but that's irrelevant. Then my therapist and I looked over my

case notes a few months ago and someone had changed my diagnosis to borderline personality disorder Everything else was the same, still angry, still bipolar, still twitchy, and anxiety-ridden. But this BPD edition was new and I knew nothing about it. I argued that it wasn't right and I was told no. I have schizoaffective disorder. But he pulled out the DSM-5, the big book of mental disorders, and lo and behold, my symptoms closer match borderline. Not satisfied with this, I decided to go to an actual psychiatrist for a second opinion.

I met with her a few times, we talked, and into my third meeting, I asked her, do I really fit borderline personality disorder? She nodded and said, yeah, you have a rather strong case for it. I don't know why, but my brain cannot accept this diagnosis, even though I know all the evidence is right there in my face. The logic part of my brain says, hey man, you have two professionals look you over and you know damn well the signs are there. But the emotional side of my head is like,

but you're literally not like the quote unquote psycho woman you've dated. Look, I know that last bit isn't correct to say, but that's how my brain justifies it, even though I know it's wrong. And yeah, I've dated at least three women who've claimed that they have borderline personality disorder, and they were all off their effing rockers. One tried to stab me when we got into an argument and I wanted to leave, then threatened to call the cops and tell them I cut her up. One put me in a position where I had to choose between my stuff and my car,

her justification was, well, since you're guarding your car, I'll just go destroy your things. But if I tried to leave, she'd go, well, looks like I'm busting out your windows and slashing your tires and setting your seats on fire. The third one was straight up tried kicking me out of a two-story bedroom window and threatened to call the cops and claimed I jumped after we had argument, and I, again, tried to leave. Things were great when they were great, but they get scary when I did so much as half-assed answered something or didn't say the right thing or look it's funny. The thing I'm struggling with the most is that whole I need you to stay in my life to the point I'm going to effing ruin you or hurt myself part. I've gotten to the point where I don't

care if you're my life or not. Nowadays I have like two close friends and my wife and that's all I really need. I'm not vindictive. I'm not suffocating. I'm not spiteful or threatening violent if anyone wants to leave. Hell, if my wife just wants to up and leave me one day, I think I'd be semi-okay with it. I try to talk it out and figure out how to fit. fix it, but I'm not going to threaten to cut her up or stab her, call the cops, or bust her shit if she left. It's just like, okay, one less person to talk to, whatever. I've been through more than my fair share of traumatic events that got me here. I struggle with the delusions, the depression, the latching on to new people until I get bored of them, the empty and hollow

feeling I have all the time, but that relationship, one, just doesn't resonate with me at all. I'm just at a dissonance where I know I'm ill with this. This is my reality now. I fit a lot of criteria to a T. But it seems like it would be easier to cope with it if I was schizophrenic. It feels like I'd accept it if I was a shambling mess of ramblings and illogical thoughts than a raging psycho who can't hold relationships. Do I know it's wrong to generalize?

Absolute. Am I aware that everyone is different and not everyone living with BPD is like what I mentioned? Again, absolutely. Can I break through those stereotypes and generalize illogical ideas, even though I know they're not all correct? Not at all. I know I'm going to get assaulted in the comments for what I said. I'm working with two different psychiatric specialists to help me come to terms with these ugly and hurtful feelings. I feel like a piece of shit for not being able to differentiate what I feel and what is actually real. My therapist says that it'll take some time to become destigmatized to what BPD looks and feels like to me. But at the meantime, my mind can't stop telling me.

It would just be easier if I was cat shit crazy like my grandma. Thanks for reading Snook. Apologies this was so long. Keep up the good work. And thank you for giving us the space to air out. And with that final confession, that wraps up today's video. That wraps up some sinister anonymous confessions. Please leave some comments for everyone who submitted. They all appreciate it. it so much. And if you have a confession you'd like to submit, please submit to the email in the description or in my YouTube about section or in the one in the beginning of the video. I read every single confession, so please send in some confessions or if you do have anything to get off your chest. And just remember, whatever you send could be in a video in public like this. So they're all

anonymous, but still, the information is public. Thank you so much for everyone. everyone is sent in a confession. Thank you so much to everyone who's still watching. And if you are still watching, please like and subscribe. It helps more than you know. And yeah, all right. Thank you so much for watching to the end. You guys are the best. This is Snook. And I'll see you next time. Bye.