Snook - The Disturbing World of Dissociatives

Episode Date: August 18, 2025

Most substances change how you see the world… but dissociatives change whether you’re even in it. In today’s video, we’re diving into a class of substances that detach the mind from the body, shattering reality itself.With dissociatives like ketamine, PCP, and DXM, you won’t just feel “high.” You may feel like you’ve left your body, slipped into another dimension, or lost all sense of self. Some describe it as euphoric escapism, others, as being trapped in a cold, alien void where nothing feels real.From anesthetic breakthroughs to dangerous street use, dissociatives blur the line between consciousness and pure insanity. They don’t just alter perception… they destroy it.WARNING: This video contains disturbing content, and is for educational purposes only. Viewer discretion is advised.Like, subscribe, and let me know if you want a Part 3. Stay safe… Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There's a type of substance that doesn't just change what you see or feel. It pulls you completely out of the world you know. Your memory starts slipping away, your sense of self fades, and reality becomes a twisted, confusing maze. These are disassociatives, substances that disconnect your mind from your body, leaving you trapped in a silent, empty void. You won't find colors or visions here. Instead, you might feel like a ghost watching your own life from afar,

lost in a space where time folds and your identity unravels. From hospital anesthetics turned party substances to cough syrup that send users spiraling into endless loops. This is the disturbing world of disassociatives, where the familiar becomes strange, and sometimes you never come back the same. Before we dive into it, please like and subscribe. It helps more than you can imagine. Let's begin. Now before we get into the video, I have to perface this by saying that this video, is for educational purposes only. I do not in any way condone the usage of any substances mentioned in the video. And by the end of this video, I think you'll be scared straight into never even considering it. And by now, you're probably curious about what a dissociative is, assuming you're not

already familiar. So what is a dissociative? There's a class of drugs that doesn't just change how you see the world. It severs your connection to it entirely. These are called dissociatives. They don't produce vivid visuals or spiritual revelations like classic psychedelics. Instead, they disconnect the brain from sensory input, body awareness, and even your identity. Scientifically, they work by blocking NMDA receptors, disrupting the brain's ability to process reality, but the effect feels far more horrifying than technical. Users report feelings like they're floating outside their bodies, trapped in an endless loop, or watching the world through a screen, unable to move, think clearly.

clearly, or remember who they are. At higher doses, the hallucinations become so realistic and convincing that it's nearly impossible to tell what's real and what's not. You might have conversations with people who don't exist, believe you're dead, or believe your God, or become convinced you're stuck in another dimension. Examples of a dissociative include ketamine, DXM, PCP, and nitrous oxide, all of which can plunge users into a state of terrifying detachment. Dissociatives don't just blur reality. They actually just dismantle it. And sometimes, people don't fully come back the same.

PCP. PCP is one of the most notorious desassociatives ever created. Originally synthesized in the 1950s as a surgical anesthetic, it was quickly abandoned for human use when patients began exhibiting extreme confusion, paranoia, and erratic behavior. The drug was too unpredictable and too distorting. But what replaced it was ketamine, and we'll get into that later. But on the streets, PCP, also known as phenycidane, lived on.

Not as a medicine, but as a drug that can completely fracture a person's perception of reality and turn them into someone unrecognizable. Like other disassociatives, PCP works by blocking NMDA receptors in the brain, disrupting the function of glutamate, the neurotransmitter responsible for learning, memory and sensory processing. When these signals are scrambled or cut off, the result is disassociation. The user becomes detached from their body, from time, and from their identity. But PCP doesn't stop at disconnection. It really pushes the mind into chaos. At moderate to high doses, PCP can cause bizarre hallucinations, delusional thinking, and a total breakdown of logic and control.

But perhaps, most disturbingly, many users report feelings of invincibility, believing they are immune to pain, unstoppable, or even divine. Yeah, some people think they're God. This delusion has led to countless violence encounters with police, where individuals on PCPF walk through tasers, broken through restraints, or lashed out with superhuman force, not because the drug gives them real power, but because it disconnects the brain from pain, fear, and conflict. consequence. Law enforcement has long viewed PCP as one of the most dangerous street dogs for exactly this reason. A person high on PCP may feel no fear, no hesitation, and no ability to recognize danger, either to themselves or others. There are plenty of documented cases of users jumping from buildings, attacking strangers, or running into traffic because they simply have zero fear and feel invincible. In some cases, they become a threat not just to officers, but to their own friends,

family, or even their own body. This is what makes PCP uniquely terrifying among disassociatives. While drugs like ketamine may send users inward into cold, dreamlike voids, where that's not a good thing, but PCP often turns the mind outward, warped, paranoid, and unpredictable. It's a drug that doesn't just numb you. It breaks your behavioral filter, and once that's gone, anything can happen. And the danger doesn't stop when the high fades, long-term use of PCP can lead to memory loss, depression, psychosis, and violent flashbacks.

For some, even a single use is enough to permanently unhinge reality. And this is the disturbing world of disassociatives. And PCP is one of its most violent and destructive inhabitants. Now, let's hear what it's like to fall into that world and what someone saw from the inside when they lost their grip on reality. Hallucinations, God and the Devil. My experiences with weed have been quite enjoyable thus far, and I have no regrets with the substance until now. I just recently bought a $10 nug from a friend who had got it from one of his friends and so on.

He had said that it might be a little small for the given price, but it was really Crip. So a few days later, I decided to smoke that bad boy. Little did I know, it was laced with a mean amount of PCP. I had just gone over to my friend's house with the intention to smoke it outside, but I couldn't do to the excessive amount of rainfall where I live. so I had to settle for the garage bathroom. I lit it and took a few hits and realized that this isn't ordinary weed. A few hits later, I was seriously fucked up and had no idea of who I was and what I was doing there.

Everything looked like a moving picture coming in and out of focus. Then out of nowhere, strange shit started happening. My best friend had started to get very pissed off at the other two that were there with us and started cussing and fighting with them for no apparent reason. It was really strange because he was actually viewing me as his only friend at the time. So we went for a walk, just me and him. I began to think that I've been viewing my life as a fool, and I suddenly awoke as a God. This is when he had started to talk shit about church and the good Lord, me, which upset me a little,

but nonetheless he is my friend, and I shall treat him like one no matter what. So it kept on walking down my street, which at the time seemed like the border between heaven and hell. I'd listened to all of his troubles for what seemed like an eternity, and I had just responded to all of them in a calm, almost saint-like manner. It was as if we were the two kings of our worlds and as different as we were, we still had managed to be the best friends at all times. I may have been tripping, but he actually seemed like a different person at the time, like some kind of entity was possessing him like some sort of puppet. But of course, the evil king had a curfew like all teens. So we said our goodbyes, which I didn't really understand,

but could still make a little sense of, and we both went home. After doing a shitload of chores, I decided to sleep those psychotic thoughts off. Two hours later, I tripped even harder. I was talking to my mom about food for some unknown reason, and she wasn't responding. I soon found out that I wasn't talking at all. This went on for about an hour. Then I started to doze off again.

I woke at 8 p.m. and ate dinner, which didn't even seem like real, like the rest of the world. It has been eight or nine hours since I had smoked that laced crypt, and I still feel psychotic. Overall, this has been a horrifying yet at the same time spiritual experience. The strangest thing about this whole trip is that even when I look back on it, with an almost clear mind, there was enough real evidence to prove that I was God and my friend was the devil. I'm not looking forward to my next accidental experience with PCP, and I'm never trusting my friend's

again. P.S. I'm still fucked up, so if there are any misspelled words or sentences that don't make sense, don't get mad because it's hard as hell, L.O.L. to type, nonetheless, think right now. And this is what makes PCP so dangerous, a drug that doesn't just alter your perception, it rewires your belief. One minute, you think you're smoking weed, the next, you believe your God, speaking to the devil, walking the edge of heaven and hell. And I really couldn't find any more kind of disturbing PCP stories because I think people who, you know, go really over the edge aren't posting their experiences on, you know, the internet. But I think

our friend here is got lucky. And I think we can easily see how, you know, it could go bad quickly. because for someone they might believe their God and everyone else is devils and they might believe they have to kill all the devils and I think that's how a lot of people get in trouble with PCP and it's very, very dangerous. And disassociatives like PCP just dismantle your sense of self and they blur the boundary between thought and reality and leave users stranded in delusions that feel just as real as the world around them. What's worse is that even after the drug wears off, the confusion, can linger, sometimes for days, and sometimes forever. These substances don't just numb your pain.

They really silence these systems that hold reality together, and once those symptoms collapse, it's hard to tell what's left. So please just be careful out there, guys. Ketamine. Ketamine is one of the most disturbing substances in modern medicine, a drug often used to silence pain, but one that can just as easily silence reality. Originally developed in the 1960s as an anesthetic, ketamine is now used in operating rooms, war zones, and even mental health clinics.

But beyond its medical uses, lies a far darker potential. When taken recreationally, or at high doses, ketamine doesn't only dull sensation. It disconnects the brain from itself. This effect comes from ketamine's unique interaction with the brain's glutamate system, specifically the NMDA receptors. Glutamite is the brain's primary. excitory neurotransmitter, responsible for learning, memory, and perception, all really important parts of the brain. Kedmi blocks those NMDA receptors, interrupting the brain's ability to process

and integrate incoming information. It's as if the signal between your senses and your consciousness is being scrambled or cut off entirely. This neural disconnection is what leads to the K-hole, a dissociative state where time collapses, the body becomes foreign, and identity erodes. Users often describe feelings like they've left their body, entered another dimension, or died altogether. Visuals are not colorful or vibrant, but cold, scary, and just wrong, like floating through a sterile void or watching your thoughts unravel into static. Because the brain is no longer receiving coherent sensory input, it begins to just fill in the blanks, sometimes with haunting hallucinations or emotional numbness. On the outside, a person in the

the K-hole may appear motionless or incoherence because your brain literally can't control your body anymore. While inside, they may be reliving twisted memories, communicating with imagined entities, or feeling trapped in a formless limbo. While therapeutic doses are low and controlled, repeated or high dose use can damage cognition, weakened memory, and even alter personality. It's a substance that bends the brain by force and the deeper you go, the harder it is to reassemble what's left of you. And now let's get into a firsthand account from someone who went too far in what they experienced. First K-hole, the true horror behind reality. Here is a trip report of my first K-hole experience. I tried quite a few times to reach this level before, but always came up

a little short of getting there. Though many of those experiences were somewhat profound too. They pale in comparison to this one. The part of the report detailing my time, out of the body has been changed little since I wrote it the following morning. It seemed to last an eternity, but this part of the report is not very long. Words cannot describe the strangeness and magnitude of what happened during much of the trip, nor can they really describe the sensory detail or mental aspects of what happened. The only way I could really lengthen that part of the report is by repeating the same type of inadequate description over and over again. I would say it was a definite plus four level experience, but of a dark, frightening nature. Unlike the few plus four

level experiences I have had in my many triptamine and phenyl thymine trips, which all occurred during states of bliss and joy. I waited over a week to post this so that I'd be able to include some info on any positive or negative effects the experience had that lasted more than a day or two. That is after the trip report. I can't give a timeline of events because I wasn't watching the time too well. Not at all while in the K-hole. I know I wasn't in the K-hole for much more than an hour because it was something after 1 a.m. when I last saw the clock in about 2.30 a.m. when I first noticed the clock after coming out. I'm not going to write much about the effects of the ketamine prior to going into the K-hole. I am also unsure of what the actual dose was equivalent to.

I took maybe a hundred or so milligrams as another larger dose was wearing off. I'd guess in the few hundred milligram range as a few hundred milligrams at the time was not enough to produce this type of trip. I weigh over 280 pounds, so it takes me more than it would an average size person. The trip reports as originally written with a bit of added info, mostly regarding things before leaving and after returning to my body. I had taken several shots of ketamine, up to a few hundred milligrams at a time. I was hoping to have the out-of-body experiences, and to decontacts, and immersions into new realities that I knew ketamine was capable of producing. Even with this dose, I hadn't quite reached that kind of state. I was quite high at this point, very high in fact.

Each time I took a shot of ketamine, it felt like I started accelerating to a high speed. This happened once again with this next, the last shot. The air started to feel thick. I felt like parts of my body were missing. My hands seemed to be disconnected from my arms, where I was no longer aware of anything between my hands and shoulders. I felt as though I was being watched by something. What it was, I did not know. Visuals consisted of green corridors and static. I felt fear at times, but I was able to tell myself that I was safe. I knew there was something beyond this, though. I was getting frustrated by the fact that I still hadn't reached it, and my chance to do so was running out because my supply of ketamine was nearly gone. It could be a long time before I could

get any more. I was down to my last chance as the effects start to wear off. I had only one last shot of ketamine and still had it reached what I thought was the K-hole. I had plenty of intense experiences, but never lost contact with my body. I decided to inject the remaining ketamine into a muscle. I'd guess it was around a few hundred milligrams, but I'm not sure. This would not be enough to get me to the K-hole if I wasn't still strongly under the influence of ketamine. Once again, I started to feel the acceleration, I did definitely reach the Cahole level this time. The last thing I did in this world was peeing a jug. I could not have walked to the bathroom to do it. I've been doing this for several days while on ketamine and hadn't emptied the bottle. It had a lid, so I didn't think it mattered.

There must have been close to a gallon of old pissing there. It was about this time that I lost complete awareness of my body and went through several levels of existence before ending up on slash in what I will call the hardware level, since it seemed that all existence was a strange computer. There are two levels I remember better than the others. The first was a world that was fairly similar to this one, but inhabited by many strange creatures. There were trees and plants like in this world, though they didn't look quite the same. I felt like I had some kind of power though. I'm not sure what it was. I could see a city on a hill in the distance with shiny buildings, perhaps glass reflecting sunlight.

There was a boy maybe 15 years old or so walking down a path between some trees. I thought at the time that this was me. A large, colorful bird flew overhead while I was walking or drifting down a path and it left rainbows and colorful dust falling behind it. My feeling of happiness grew into outright bliss. It was the type of bliss that I had rarely felt,

only on the best of psychedelic trips, once without any drugs, and never with any other type of drugs. As far as I was concerned, everything I experienced in the K-hole was my real life, and I had little or no memory of anything before. I stayed here in this world for what seemed like quite a while. I had no memory of using any drug. My mind was not working normally, though, and I had some realization of that at times.

This did not trouble me at all. I was totally immersed in the moment. I was eventually pulled out of that first world. I don't remember how it happened or what it felt like. I no longer had even an imagined body that was anything like the world. real one, if I had one at all. I went through one or more poorly divined levels of existence that just blurred together before arriving at a level I find hard to describe. Perhaps those levels were not so poorly defined and I just passed through them too fast to see what they were like.

I eventually reached the true reality, the one that this and the other universes were built upon, the one where our souls truly reside. I would stay here for what seemed like an enormous amount of time. It wasn't too bad at first, but quickly became hellish. I was like a bunch of rubber bands tangled and looped together, moving along with other masses of tangled rubber bands. For some reason, it began to feel like torture. I eventually got down to the point where I was the only one of these things I could really detect, though I knew there were others. I was asking for help. I wanted out of there. I asked what I guess might be God for help, but at the time I thought maybe I was one of many gods who had created false universes to escape into. I had brought this on myself. I never felt as though I was

being punished by some deity. I knew that I removed myself from the universe that had been created to shield me and everyone else from this true reality I was at, first moving or rolling along what might have been like a grid. Any changes in direction seem to be 90 degrees shifts in direction or movement straight up or down, usually down. I felt something like static and electric feelings, even though I didn't have any sort of a body, just being a mass of tangled strings or loops. I eventually stopped moving. The torment grew even more intense once that happened.

I was begging for help more than ever. Trying to get back into my universe, I could possibly enter, and trying to create some new reality of my mind that I could then enter to escape the torment. A couple of times, I knew I ended up there by taking a drug, but had no idea what that meant, so it did nothing to help me understand what had happened. I didn't know if I would be in that state forever or not.

I could remember something of a past before it got like this and believed it to have been a false reality. I could remember the first K-hole level better than my real life at this point, though some of both lives was available. I would have been happy to go back to either one. I was occasionally see an image of a family member and knew they were somehow important, but I did not know why. Sometimes there were names attached to them, but did not know what it meant.

I'd get glimpses of that first world I visited, mixed in, with these other images. For all I knew, they could have all been from the same place. I had little understanding of anything. I just knew I was suffering greatly and that I was now in my true form, seeing and being part of the fabric of all that exists. All of the higher level things have been stripped away. I knew that I once wanted to see the true nature of reality. Now I knew what it was, and it was truly horrific. I now wanted only to get back into one of the universes so that this suffering would stop. I now understood by the truth of the existence was hidden from us or why we hit it from ourselves. Things went on like this for so long,

pretty much staying the same. I'm not sure why exactly it was so unpleasant. I did eventually return to my life, but only after another enormous amount of time seemed to pass. I was very confused and still felt like I was in another world when I did come out of the K-hole. I was in a dark room, with the only lights being from the digital clock and optical mouse. I cannot understand why they were there. Something smelled bad. I didn't yet identify this as a smell. I still couldn't understand my body or sensory perceptions. I did understand that I had made it out of that horrible place. I eventually began to understand things a little better and came to understand what had happened. I realized at this point that the boy I saw in the first phase of the experience was not me.

I came to the conclusion that it was someone else in another universe that it passed through before going down to the low-level fabric of reality. I still believed everything I experienced really happened. I thought that we would all return to that level of existence at the time of death, then enter a new life in one of the many universes. I soon discovered then that a big jug of piss was dumped out into the floor. I must have dropped it as I was going out of body. Some things were damaged or destroyed, books, magazines, some of my poppy pods.

I didn't care at the time. I fell on the floor at some point. It may have been before or right after the K-hole. I may have even been in the floor the whole time I was in the floor. I don't know why. I had old piss all over me. I then started laughing uncontrollably. I don't know why.

I just couldn't stop laughing. After coming down a bit more, I cleaned things up a bit and tried to save what could be saved. Nothing too important was destroyed. It still smelled pretty bad. I came down some more and then went to sleep. I finished the cleaning the next morning. Now I am out of ketamine. That is okay.

I don't need anymore right now. Also, if I ever use another drug that makes walking difficult and I piss in a container, I'll be sure to empty it once the drug wears off. I don't want to end up making another mess like the one I made that night. A lid won't help if you drop it while the container is open. The following morning and afternoon. Maybe I'll try this again in a month or two, if I can get some more. Maybe I'll stay on slash in a good levels next time.

Right now, there's still at least a little fear that I could not only end back up in the bad place, but be stuck there for a long time, possibly forever. The description I gave for the second reality I described can't come close to what it was really like. I have no way to describe it in a way that could capture what it was really like on a mental or sensory level. I know I felt great today, so happy to be alive and in the same old world I usually want to escape from.

It feels like I've been touched by something beautiful on some deep level I can't describe. It also seems more likely at the moment that I will survive death. All of this will likely fade quickly with time but it can be good for now. My mood is markedly elevated from its normal level. I'm happy and usually feel depressed. This is the afternoon after,

about 12 to 13 hours after the K-hole. I'm almost back to baseline, mind functioning near its normal level. The week after. Here is how I felt during the week after the experience. Changes in mood, outlook, and personality and changes. My mood has remained at a better than usual level

for the last week. I wouldn't say that I have been happy, but certainly not depressed like I was before. My desire for drugs seems to be decreased, though not for psychedelics. I ended up tripping on something six days after the ketamine, which brought up a lot of feelings and thoughts I had on ketamine. It was a lot more intense and philosophical than most trips, and I was really unsure of pretty much everything about myself in reality.

Below is a post I made to a message board during the trip. Tripping on something that I took earlier, followed by the few milligrams I just snorted half an hour ago, feeling a bit nausea, and have developed a very slight headache, not enough to distract me. This is bringing up those experiences I had in the K-hole, not like reliving them, but filling the memories in a strong way that is partially like reliving them, having lots of weird and crazy thoughts of the nature of reality and of what we really are as a result. How do we know what is real? Is the universe we inhabit something either

fake or real that we created to escape into? How do we even know that what is in our memories real, and not something fabricated by ourselves or someone slash something else from nothing or something completely different from what we would think happened. I don't know what is real or what to think. Maybe I will someday, or maybe never. Maybe I would hate to find out. I'm still addicted to poppies, but it seems like my desire to use them doesn't usually come until I start to feel withdrawal symptoms now. Prior to this, I was sometimes using three or four times a day, though usually twice. I've not felt the need to get high nearly as much since the ketamine experience. I don't know how long these positive changes will last. I don't mean to imply that my desire to get high has been eliminated,

but it is definitely reduced. I now feel that surviving the death of our bodies is more likely than I felt before. I have never held on to that feeling for more than two or three days after another psychedelic experience that showed me that possibility. It has been more than a week now, and I still feel that. This is a very good thing, as the thought of everyone I care about and I not existing bothers me more than anything else. Now I have hoped that there is something after this life, that we can possibly enter new lives

after this one ends. Perhaps it is foolish to let a drug-induced experience change my feelings towards life and death. But I say a positive change and outlook is good whether drug-induced or not. I don't think I could undo these changes at the moment without making a big effort. And why would I want to? Logically, I should have no doubt that what I experienced was nothing more than hallucinations and delusions brought on by a drug known to cause these type of effects. It still feels like I saw the true nature of reality, what I and everything in the universe are made of, like I saw where this level existence comes from, like I saw my soul. Right now, I do have doubts and feel unsure of what to believe. I don't really know how to describe it. All of the descriptions I have given of the second

part of the K-hole seem inadequate to me. I'm not the best writer in the world. Maybe someone else would have a better luck describing it. I've done about the best I can. As unpleasant as much of this experience was, I definitely consider it to have been a positive one. It certainly seems to have changed my outlook on life in a positive way and helped with my depression, at least temporarily. How long these changes last remains to be seen. And this is the disturbing reality of dissociatives. While they can produce surreal, even spiritual experiences, they often plunge users into

terrifying states that blur the line between death, madness, and something worse. For some, that horror fades with time. For others, it leaves a scar. In the scariest part, in the most part. moment you won't know which one you'll be. And in my opinion, I think this guy got lucky because in that second level he says, you know, he showed or said how painful it really was. And for some people, that can last the entire trip. That can last for, you know, weeks after. So I do consider this guy to be lucky and it's just not worth risking. DXM. DXM is one of the most deceptively

dangerous disassociatives in existence. Man, that's one hell of a tongue twister. Found in over-the-counter cough medicines like Robitusson and Delsem, it was never designed to alter consciousness. Yet in high doses, it can warp reality just as drastically as ketamine or PCP. What makes DXM especially unsettling is how easy it is to access. It's sold legally in most drugstores, disguised in cherry-flavored syrups and gel capsules, but when abused, it becomes something else entirely.

At its core, DXM is a disassociative anesthetic, one that, like ketamine, blocks NMDA receptors in the brain, disrupting how we process sensory input, memory, and identity, and we've been through that before. But DXM doesn't just cause disconnection. It comes in stages, known among users as the plateaus. Lower plateaus mimic a drunken, euphoric state. But as the dose increases, the experience turns deeply disassociative. visual distortions, time loops, internal dialogues with imagined entities, and eventually, full ego death. High-dose DXM trips can feel like being uploaded into a digital limbo, because users report floating through static-filled voids, losing all sense of their body, and experiencing intense introspection that borders on psychosis.

Some believe they're dead, others think they've become gods. In some cases, users forget what language is, who they are, or that they use. even exist. But DXM's effects aren't just psychological. In high doses, it can cause seizures, hypothermia, hallucination-induced accidents, and serotonin syndrome, a potentially fatal condition when mixed with other substances like antidepressants. Long-term abuse has also been linked to cognitive damage, paranoia, and persistent disassociation, a condition where the brain never fully reconnects. And because it's easy to underestimate, many first-time users take far more than they realize. A normal therapeutic dose is, you know, 10 to 30 milligrams. Recreational users often take

hundreds or thousands of milligrams, sometimes without realizing how far they're pushing themselves away from reality and themselves. DXM is the most accessible and misunderstood gateway. Now, a firsthand look at what happens when a familiar medicine stops healing you and starts dismantling everything you know about yourself. What's my name again? It came last Thursday when I decided to trip on some DXM. I was in school when my lunch period came, and I went to the main courtyard of my school

and went to my usual spot to meet my good friend. We went off campus, and he mentioned that he wanted to steal some DXM from the store by our school, and of course, I was in. I've done DXM three times prior to this trip and loved the effects of it and intended to do it again. So we went up to the store by our school and grabbed our food, and then headed over to the medicine aisle and found some bottles of coss syrup with DXM as the only active ingredient. And my friend got the 89 milliliter and I get the 148 milliliter.

We stuck them in our hoodies, paid for the food, and walked out. We then did what we usually did and walked over to the trail behind the store where we have smoked wheat in the past and hit our vapes before heading back to school. We took the DXM out of our hoodies and I decided I was going to do it tonight after work. but my friend decided to do his bottle now since it was smaller. He drank the bottle and we hit our vapes, ate, talked, and headed back to school. School and work was kind of a blur to me, since it was like any other day. But I got off work at 9 p.m and headed home and then realized I still had the DXM on my backpack. I took the bottle out and stared at it for what seemed like 30 minutes,

contemplating whether I should take it now or wait another day. I decided to just drink it, since I was most likely going to do these things. the next day after school. I drank the whole bottle plus an additional 100 milligrams of DXM, so about 988 milligrams of DXM. I've never done that much DXM before. My last three times were about 700 milligrams, but I had the courage to do the whole thing plus more. I looked at the time, 10 p.m. I knew it was going to take a long time to kick in since it was dextromethymorin polysterex, and I know I mispronounce that, but I tried to record that 100,000. I tried to record that a hundred times and I messed it up so give me a break 10.30 p.m. No noticeable effects. Just went on

my laptop and watched some Netflix and listened to music and waited for the onset. 11 p.m. No noticeable effects. 11.15 p.m. I got up to get some water. And when I got up, I noticed my legs felt a tad bit heavier, but it was not really anything too out of the ordinary. 11.30 p.m. On set. I remember looking around my room and feeling slightly dizzy. I got up and walked around my room and felt that drunk feeling I knew so well. It was coming. I got excited and walked around some more and got back in bed and waited for my peak.

12 a.m. My peak was coming rapidly. Way quicker than I thought. I felt like I drank a boatload of alcohol and smoked a ton of weed. I noticed when I looked at my ceiling, I noticed a very bright square flash then disappear on my ceiling.

I then decided to shut my eyes and put on some music and let the DXM control me. My closed-eye visuals were amazing, as well as music. I felt so euphoric and completely restless, even though I was in my room when it was very dark at midnight on a school night. I remember while listening to music and keep my eyes shut,

I moved my head around. It made my visuals more intense and euphoric. I was having an amazing time. 1 a.m. Peak? I decided to turn off my music and head to bed. But once I opened my eyes, my room was so weird looking. I can't describe it well,

but the best way I can describe it was that it looked like it was slowly melting. I was extremely dizzy and felt very twisted. Shutting my laptop and sitting on my floor was so difficult. Sitting up from my laying position was nearly impossible, but I managed to do it and laid back down on my bed and I attempted sleep. As my eyes were shut, it was impossible to sleep. My closed-eye visuals were super, super intense, nothing like I've ever experienced before. This is when I realized how disassociated it was. I completely forgot that I had taken DXM a few hours prior. I knew that I had done it, but I completely forgot the name of it. I then opened my eyes and sat up in my bed. I looked

looked around and my room was still melting. I remember giving myself a test to see how disassociated I was. I decided to repeat my name and address out loud to see. Before I began, I thought, wait, what is my name again? And then tried anyways. I was completely wrong. I then tried to sleep again and lay back down and shut my eyes. I went to a different world. I cannot describe it at all. Beside, it seemed like I was with people talking to them and seeing these super weird trees. 1.15 a.m. This is where my memory gets hazy. I remember I opened my eyes and came back to Earth and realized I had to pee. This is the first time I tried to walk in a long time. It was nearly impossible. I got up and I felt so dizzy and drunk and high. I was walking out of my room when I tripped and almost fell on my laptop charger cord. I opened my door and basically fell out of my room and slammed into the wall twice since I couldn't walk well. I guess I still had a little bit of sober in me in my head because I told myself to be quiet and not wake up my parents. I then put both arms on the wall as support and slowly into the bathroom. And I got to my bathroom, let go over the wall and stumbled into the bathroom.

I turned on the lights and took a piss somehow. After I finished, I wanted to look at myself in the mirror to see how dilated my eyes were, and I somewhat forgot what I looked like. I looked at myself in the mirror super closely, and for some reason it seemed like my eyes were totally normal, but I know it was the DXM because I have a photo of myself from that night and my eyes were huge. then I observed myself. I did not look like me.

I cannot describe it, but I looked alien, and honestly scared the hell out of me. I stared at myself wide-eyed and terrified of how alien I looked, and I was convinced that's how I normally look. I then shrugged it off, turned off the lights, grabbed the wall with both arms again,

and inched my weight of my room. I then fell on my bed and closed my eyes again and entered that same world I was in after that forgot how to open my eyes again. I was pretty much stuck in this planet, but I was too disassociated to care. 2 a.m. I've completely lost track of time and do not remember a lot. So the time was a guess. I was in my own world. I then had a thought of listening to music. I somehow opened my eyes for the first time in a long time. My room looks so bizarre. I examined my room for a while and the objects seemed to be so much taller than usual. I then went to grab my laptop. The drunk and high feelings were intense as hell, so it was super hard. All of a sudden, I made it like a mission. I had voices in my head cheering me on and and I said out loud to my voices in my head.

I'm going to grab my laptop. I then reached down and grabbed it. Turn it on and the voices in my head were celebrating, giving me more euphoria than I already had, which was a lot to begin with. I went on Spotify and played some songs. They sounded like something I've never heard before. They sounded so alien-like and it was so fascinating.

I listened to music and had my eyes shut like before, but I was not having closed-eye visuals anymore. I was just out of planet Earth. I was somewhere that I cannot name and cannot subscribe. I then decided to turn off my music and just lay down on my bed and turn towards my window. I all of a sudden had thoughts that my room was a forest. I ignored that thought and closed my eyes again. I have no idea who I was talking to.

I don't remember their voices. I have no idea what we were talking about. I don't remember any of that. I think the voices were some kind of entities. I was in that world for the rest of the night. Until 7 a.m. I do not remember anything else. 7 a.m.

It felt like I just woke up, but I knew that was not true. true. I knew I was wide awake and did not sleep at all. I shut my eyes again and it was normal again. So maybe I was asleep. I'm not sure. I still felt the effects of the DXM and they were less intense now. My room looked normal again. I was able to walk after I took some practice laps around my hallway upstairs before going downstairs to converse with my dad. I did not want him seeing me stumble. I still felt extremely drunk and high at the same time. I listened to music before getting ready for school and it still sounded super fascinating and amazing. I then got the hang of walking, ready for school and went downstairs. I was definitely not able to drive to school, so I had my

dad drive me. I think I was able to act somewhat sober since I was not too disassociated anymore. I just told him I was tired. Riding in the car felt so good. I savored every second of the ride. I got to school and was walking on campus so out of it. I got to my first period and I had that class with my good friend mentioned in the beginning of the story. I told him about my experience last night and told him I was still pretty messed up. He could tell. I ended up falling asleep in the class and he looked out for me. The rest of the day, I was slowly coming down, and I felt sleeping in almost every one of my classes, since I did not sleep at all the night prior, and the DXM was mostly out of my system, but I still felt drunk. My lunch period comes again and me and my friend

meet up again, head to the store, and he says he's going to steal some DXM again. I said, okay, but did not want to steal any. I was going to take a break from it for a while, since it was so intense the night prior, but I was definitely do it again soon, because it was so amazing. Overall, it was a super therapeutic and enjoyable experience. It gave me a different perspective to the world. It taught me how intense this drug is and how amazing it really is. And to this day, I cannot decide what plateau I reached. I want to say it was either upper third plateau or lower fourth plateau.

This is what disassociation really looks like. Not bright colors or blissful euphoria, but forgetting your own name, seeing your face turn alien in the mirror and falling so deep into another world that you forgot how to open your eyes. And what's disturbing is how casual this story is. Stolen cough syrup, nearly a gram of DXM, and a body that can't walk straight, but somehow the takeaway is that it was amazing.

This isn't just a trip. It's an honest warning. Disassociatives don't show their damage right away. They just slowly erase your connection to reality until you're not sure who you are, where you are, or if you ever left at all. And I really, you know, am sad reading that last story because he's going to cause so much damage to himself.

And that's the issue with a lot of drugs, especially disassociatives, is that, you know, it just, even though you may have a positive experience, these ones weren't horrifically terrifying like the delirient video. But what is terrifying is that after enough time, it will keep disassociating you over and over again and that connection in your brain will sever permanently. And so you may be in a forever world where you don't know what's real and what's not real. And that's something nobody should have to endure. But I really hope you learned a lesson in this video. Please don't do drugs, especially disassociatives or delirience. If you want to learn more about delirience, check out the

video, the disturbing world to delirience. That video is terrifying. And this video was, you know, equally just weird and scary. This was definitely a little bit more positive, I guess, but it's still a negative with how much damage you do to your mind. Your mind's valuable. It's worth it. Please don't do any sort of this stuff. I love you guys.

Thank you so much for watching. You guys are the best. Please like the video and subscribe to the channel. I appreciate it. And this was Snook. And I'll see you next time. Bye.