Snook - True Disturbing Reddit Threads

Episode Date: March 9, 2026

From an OP who discovers a horrific secret that her husband was keeping to a user who posted to reddit begging for help... these are some True Disturbing Reddit Threads. I hope every OP in this video is doing better now. Would you like to see me make similar videos in the future? Leave your thoughts down below in the comment section, and make sure to like and subscribe!Join the Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/SnookYTFollow me on instagram and Spotify!If your story or post was included in today's video and you wish for it to be taken down, please reach out to this email. [e-mail] And yes, I'm a human voice.NEXT SUB GOAL - 1,000,000 subscribers! So make sure to subscribe! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey, what's up guys and welcome back to the channel. And today we're getting into some true disturbing Reddit threads. And today we have some shocking Reddit threads. These are truly some of the most wild, depressing and disturbing Reddit threads I have ever got into. And they are just beyond insane. So you'll want to stick around. I appreciate you stop by means the world. And please like the video and subscribe to the channel.

The channel's goal is 1 million subscribers before the end of the year. so please subscribe and you guys have been loving the longer videos so here you go this will be a very very long video so sit back relax grab a drink and grab a snack and without further ado let's get into some true disturbing reddit threads my marriage is over today started like any other we've just had our sixth wedding anniversary and have been together seven years i never knew who i was sleeping with. But I'm not a victim here. I will suffer, but I chose this man and I had a child with him. So my pain is the price I pay. We have a tablet that is mainly my husband's, but occasionally, I or the kids use it. It was sitting on my desk this morning, and I thought I might play a game on it

that I hadn't played in a while. I've always looked at the picture slash videos. Usually the kids take them and you have to guess what they are aiming for or what they are saying in the videos. I scrolled through looking for my game, deleted, and decided to look at the gallery instead. There was a video on there that I had never seen. It was at the first position like it was the newest video.

I clicked on it and I immediately called non-emergency to send a police car to my house. At first I thought it was, I don't know. peeping Tom or bathroom adult videos, then I realized it was my bathroom. The video had been shot in my bathroom. It looked like the camera must have been hidden around the window, given a full view of the bathroom.

And in the video? In the video is my niece, who hasn't been to my house since 2017. My niece was 14 the last time she spent the summer at my house. They live 1,000 miles away. And this was a video of her with her back to the camera. She was changing her swimsuit and bends over in a way that shows her lower region. This man that I thought I knew and loved.

The father of my daughter. I thought he was a perfect male role model for my niece since her father abandoned her. I promised her and her brother. when their dad left that I would always protect them and I brought a man into their lives who set up a fucking camera in the bathroom to catch his glimpse of her innocence. And he kept that video and moved it to a different medium.

We got the tablet long after she was in the house. The police took a report and the tablet. I called my husband's father and asked him to be at the house to pick my husband up when he got off of work. I ran and picked up my daughter and went to a friend's house. He called it.

tell me he was on the way home and I lost it. He kept saying I misunderstood. I didn't listen anymore. You violated everyone in this house. Everyone who has visited and used our bathroom. And now my niece gets to find out what he did. I've broken my promise. I did not protect her like I should have.

And then the OPE makes another update a few days later saying, I turned my husband in for illegal, content involving minors, secret bathroom cam, and in a matter of days, my life has flipped upside down. And the update reads as follows. So a few days ago, I discovered a video on my husband's tablet of my niece, unclothed, in our bathroom. As soon as I understood what it was, I called the police and relinquished the tablets

to them. Since then, I have gotten an emergency custody hearing set up for this coming week. Surprisingly, to me at least, the judge issued a temporary order of protection barring him from contacting anyone in my household or coming on the property. Our household is me, 35 female, my cousin 35 female, her husband, 37M in the military, currently away from home, their two sons and my child. I didn't think they would issue it because there has been no violence or threats of violence, but the judge was adamant. and I am slightly relieved. I have counseling set up for myself and my daughter and am working with a legal advocate

to navigate these processes and start the divorce. I'm holding together for my daughter, but every second I feel like I'm going to pass out or throw up from the emotion of it all. Three days ago, I thought I had a loving partner and husband. I thought that I had broken the cycle of abuse that has followed my family for generations. The suddenness of it all has me feeling

on the verge of collapse. I never wanted to be a single parent. I loved my husband and meant my vows, but always told him that the one thing that would make me turn back on him and walk away was anything having to do with kids or abuse. I have no regrets, or even real feelings about the loss of my marriage. Right now, I know I did the right thing.

My current focus is on keeping my daughter safe. but how do you pick up the pieces from this how do i help my daughter and niece get through this and ever be okay i feel completely alone though i have found a community of friends that i didn't realize i had ready to bend over backwards to help i've slept maybe four hours since it happened two days ago i don't know they've all run together i've reached out to everyone i can to try and help me figure things out. I have no money and no access to my bank accounts. I haven't worked for the last five years because of postpartum and PTSD. I've spent these years bussy my ass in therapy to make sure I was mentally okay enough to parent and be a functional adult. I don't know how I'm going to pay bills

or keep food on the table, but I am in contact with a woman's shelter that has promised to help and I'm going to contact social services and see if we can get emergency assistance. I'm also pretty sure he sabotaged my cousin's car, which is the only transportation we currently have or had. He was at work when everything happened, and when he called me to let him know he was on his way home, I confronted him and then told him

he needed to bring her car back or we would report it stolen. I called his dad and had him meet my husband at the house to take him to their house. My daughter and I were laying low at a friend's house. He's driven her car since she got it six or so months ago, and it has always been fine. It got him back from work that day with no trouble. When I went to the courthouse the next morning, the car broke down halfway to court and hasn't been drivable since. Yesterday, I discovered his Google email was logged in on my daughter's tablet.

I went in and looked at a search history and it confirmed everything. How to empty oil from car quickly. No oil car damage. It got worse from there. Can you plead the fifth at a custody hearing? Can you lose custody of your child for unrelated illegal content involving minors? When does illegal content involving minors become a federal offense and so on? Oh my God, this is just such a horrific thread.

I've been in contact with the detective and let them know about all of this. And now I'm just trying to try to. remember to breathe. And then the OP post, another update a few days later, titled, Cops are moving slow in collecting evidence after I found homemade illegal content involving minors on my husband's tablet. And the post reads as follows, a detective has been in touch, and I've given him screenshots of my husband's recent Google searches, such as, when does illegal content involving minors become a federal offense and what is prison in Virginia like? My problem is that my husband is

pretty tech savvy. I've seen in the same Google searches him trying to access his computer. Luckily, I unplugged it as soon as everything happened. The video was older than the tablet and had to have been imported slash downloaded from elsewhere. He set up all the computers in our household and all of our phones are in his name. Even our lights are operated via a tablet, which he set up. I need help figuring out what I can do to encourage the detective to take custody of the electronics left in the house. I am concerned that he may be able to remotely delete things or destroy evidence.

I have offered to surrender anything they want. The detective has been in contact, but has only asked for the screenshots of his search history and pictures of the front of the house. I've offered to take pictures slash allow them to take pictures of the bathroom who is filmed in. I understand that the justice system can be slow. But is there any way to convince them to just pick up the hardware? I'm so concerned that he can remotely spy on us or track our locations. The protective order prevents him from doing so, but it is a piece of paper. How do we protect our household when he has set up every electronic or smart device in our household? The last thing I need to figure out is how to file for divorce.

Will they allow a quick divorce in an emergency situation, or will they have to wait until we've been separated a full year? We have custody, support, and restraining order to court dates set up already. And then the OP post another update a few weeks later titled, How to File for Contested Divorce in Virginia. Virginia in the middle of a police investigation, custody court, and a restraining order while having no money. And the update reads as follows. These last two weeks have been a blur. I've tried reading the official Virginia website and downloaded their 43-page document, and I'm still in shock.

I guess because I'm having a very hard time computing everything. I know you can get a court-appointed attorney in a criminal case, but how do I get an attorney when I have no money? The divorce is the least of my legal concerns. My kids' custody, the restraining orders, and the criminal investigation are my legal priorities at this point. But I'm not sure if I need to take steps now in regards to divorce. Any advice slash insights would be greatly appreciated at this time. And then the OP makes another update quickly after saying, I met with a detective today and got to see pictures of my husband setting up a hidden camera in our bathroom.

Now let's get into it. I knew it was bad the second I saw the first video. I knew that our marriage was over that instant. I haven't felt any sadness over that part of it at all. I'm doing everything I can to keep it together and raise my kid. I'm trying to soften these blows to a whole community of children and parents who absolutely trusted him. I can grieve my personal losses another day or not. There are more important things that need to take the forefront.

right now. Today, today is the first day that I've wanted to throw myself on the floor and pitch a fit comparable to an angry toddler. I feel like crying, but I don't have the time. My kids get off the bus soon. Today, my eyes are completely open. I can see through the gas sliding. He is the most passive person I've ever met. I didn't realize I let him convince me of things. He seriously thought he could explain. I saw more today and the simmering anger is pushing through. He videotaped himself setting up the camera. He was 100% identifiable to me and my cousin and the kids would know immediately who it was, even though you can't see most of the face. The process is working. I just need to remember to breathe while waiting for the resolution. And then the OP post and update a few weeks

later titled, The Husband gets the benefit of an attorney in family court. I don't. I need opinions on what on my face to help prepare. And the update reads as follows. The detective has been in frequent contact and had me identify people in pictures.

My husband took a picture of himself from the chin down while setting up the hidden camera. They are supposed to conduct a search warrant soon to gather the rest of his electronics slash electronic storage. The detective said it was good our case was continued because this gave them more time.

Most torturous way to my life. There is a restraining order keeping him away from our kid, myself, our roommates, and the property. It also prevents him from any remote surveillance or tracking of us. The case was continued the first time, so his attorney could be present. That hearing is coming up, and I'm trying to prepare myself. I know some of the things he would throw in my face to make me seem unfit, like smoking at marijuana outside when my kid was inside with him and 10 or so members of my family, mental illness slash our child's gender dysphoria, I'm just trying to think of it from his

attorney's point of view. The police already have a lot of evidence and they haven't even done the search warrant. As his attorney, would you just be amicable because you have much bigger fish to fry? Or do you attack the credibility of everyone on the other side? I'm just very nervous and trying to prepare myself. Any insight slash opinions would be appreciated. Edit. Update. So I either misunderstood or the intake paralegal I spoke to at legal aid was ill-informed.

I called back and I'm currently waiting for a call from an attorney to assist with court for the protective order. The stress slash shock of the situation and suddenly being the sole head of household has me a little drained, making it hard to keep up with everything. I'm doing it, though. Thank you all for the help. I'll keep you all updated. And then the O.P. makes another update a few days later,

titled, Doing What's Right for Little One and dealing with my soon-to-be ex-laws. And the update reads as follows. Our child, though, is in the middle of this all. I never thought my husband would take advantage of a child in our care, and now that I know he did, I don't know if he poses a danger to our child. hence the protective order.

When all contact was cut off between our child and him, our kid was devastated. She loves her daddy and can't understand why he's just gone. Her therapist and I broke it to her in the most kid-appropriate way possible without giving too many details. I am mature enough to recognize that, no matter what, he will always be a part of her.

I don't talk badly about him around her or allow anyone else to. When she cries for him, I hold her and let her grieve and try my best to comfort her. I fight thoughts that I am responsible for her pain. So while dealing with everything else, I reached out to my in-laws. I figured that if little one couldn't have her father, the next best thing was his family. We've had a relationship with his parents throughout our entire marriage,

and little one has a significant relationship with them. I also contacted his brother and sister, who he hadn't allowed to be in our lives for several years, and little one does not remember. My thinking was that uncle looks like dad, and maybe forming relationships with her cousins, could distract her from everything with her dad. This was just over a month ago. My ex-sister-in-law immediately messaged me back and told me

she was not interested and didn't understand my motives in asking. Brother-in-law didn't respond. Grandma and grandpa didn't respond either. I kept the hurt to myself and kept doing what I needed to do to take care of Little One. Well, a few days ago, Grandpa sent me a message. We haven't seen Little One in a few months and would like to arrange something. I responded that, of course, we could schedule something and that I prefer to meet at my house or a restaurant nearby. My husband is living with them now, and I've testified about the guns I've seen in their house

and his past threats to go get one from their house. I would not be comfortable allowing them to take little one anywhere because they would have no problem breaking the protective order. So grandpa responds that his wife's health is poor. She's been dying since I met her. So the visit would be at their house and I wasn't to talk about anything but little one. I took some time to breathe and remind myself that this is about little one. I messaged back that it wasn't possible for us to get a transportation to the house, not that I would go if I did, and reiterated that I referred visits take place.

place at my home or a public place nearby. He didn't say anything until today, a week later, when he asked if they could visit Little One on Saturday. Today, by coincidence, I'm sure, ex-sister-in-law messages me and says she wants to video chat with Little One and her kids sometime this weekend. Same sister-in-law that said no previously. She asked on my cousin, who lives with us, facilitate communication between her and Little One. Well, a lot has happened in that month. I've seen more pictures and had to identify people for detectives, and I've been to court several times. The police executed a search warrant at our house and took all of his electronics, plus my computer and Little One's tablet. Both were his first. I've processed the situation more,

emotionally and intellectually, and now I don't know. Their requests have left me unsettled and pensive. I wanted to do what is right for Little One, but now I'm not sure contacting this was the right step. I'm just so burnt out and trying to do the right thing. Any advice is welcome. And then the OP makes an update a few days later titled, My Husband put a hidden camera in our bathroom to film my niece and who knows what else. Now I've cut off his family. And the update reads as follows. I've been trying so hard to be a mature adult and do whatever is best for little one. no matter how I feel. Yesterday I broke.

I've been through hell and I've dragged myself and little one out of a hole that was left when our lives were flipped upside down. I put my anger aside to show my child love when she cries for her father. This time since everything happened has been the most trying time in my life.

This month has allowed my child to settle into our new normal and process some of her pain and therapy and they weren't there. That month might as well been a year for all that we faced during it. I don't expect them to support or love me or turn their backs on their son slash brother,

but I've been through hell for something I didn't do and I cannot handle the hostility. I told them yesterday that we won't be coming to visit or allowing video chatting with anyone who can't be cordial to me. I've been working very hard to suppress my anger towards their son and I can't allow them to poke me until I snap. I also feel like they have a plan of some sort and are trying to surveil us for my husband.

This has me feeling like the bad guy. At what point do I have the right to say, I can't take anymore. I've tried so hard to do the right thing and now I feel like I've let my kid down. And then the OPE makes another update 10 days later and the update reads as follows. He's appealing the protective order

and I feel like I can barely breathe. My husband had 10 days to appeal the two-year protective order. You can read my post history to catch up with this saga. There's no quick explanation. At the end of January, I found a video on my husband's tablet from a hidden camera in our bathroom that showed my niece. Today was the 10th business day since a two-year protective order was approved. I just heard from my attorney that he appealed.

I feel like the wind has been knocked out of my chest. I just want the system to work and him to go to jail. I understand that the legal process is long, but fuck, I felt secure with that order. I felt secure that my child wouldn't have to be dragged through all of my husband's legal woes. Now I feel hopeless, like he's reached out and reminded us that he's still here. And then the OP post, another update saying, Why do I let them get to me? One biting hurtful tax from his sister, and I let it get me down.

Previously, I cut off contact with his family and blocked them on Facebook. They have been very supportive of him and have been rude and disrespectful to me, while claiming to want contact with Little One. I thought I was done with them for now. I've talked to Little One's therapist and my own, and they both agree that it's better for all of us to cut them off for now and reassess the situation once everything related to court is done. I'm over at all.

I'm down. I'm trying to absorb all the hurt, for my kid and because of that, I don't get to say what I want to say to them. I don't get to scream in their faces and call them monsters for the person they are protecting. I have to be the adult. I'm ready to flip out and I'm trying to keep it together. He's posting pictures of himself and Little One on Facebook in a way that leads you to believe Little One is with him.

I blocked him, but a family friend called to make sure Little One is safe and told me about it. His friend commented about the heartless people keeping the little. one from her loving daddy. I did chew the friend of his out in the nicest way possible. Like, hey, he left out a few chapters when he told you that sob story. His sister texted me this morning claiming she wanted to try and reestablish a relationship with Little One, but opens it with, quote, I know you have never wanted us in Little One's life, but I was hoping you would reconsider and do what's right for Little One. What's crazy is Little One is five, and the last time his sister saw her, she was less than a year old. My husband cut contact with his siblings

over a conflict related to custody of his nephew when our little one was less than a year. I begged my husband to reconnect with the siblings. I asked him to do it for the kids and he said he didn't want them in our lives. Now suddenly, he's back in the fold and I'm the one that kept them apart? I begged him to let little one know her cousins and he said no. They had been bad to him as a child. It all just makes me sick. Like, where were you in January? We've already started figuring out our new normal and not like I feel like they owe me anything but damn. You can give your brother a grand, but don't even care about his child who has gotten a grand total of $100 in support since January. My heart is just heavy from it all. And then the OP

makes another update titled Text 2 X sister-in-law had unintended consequences. I initially tried to get my husband's family involved with our child's life, but they either ignored me or told me no. They were pretty hostile and unpleasant towards me and firmly behind their son slash brother. I gave up and started focusing on being the support of our little one needed and keeping her connected to people who genuinely care for. Well, about a month and a half later, maybe longer, I don't feel like looking through everything for the exact time right now. On the same day, his sister and his dad messaged me. His sister has not seen her child since she was 11 or 12 months old, and my husband said he wanted to be estranged from his

siblings, even when I begged him to try and reconcile so little one could know her cousins. She is the only one that initially said no to contact. She messes me on Facebook and wanted her kids to video chat with Little One. She was very biting and rude to me and asked for my cousin to further facilitate contact. So she could have had no contact with me. The same day, their dad messages me on Facebook and says he and just not mother-in-law, the abbreviation is J-N-M-I-L, I think that's ex-mother-in-law, wants to see Little One. He tells me that he had been in contact because I have a protective order, keeping my husband from contacting me or Little One. He says he wants to set up a visit and gives me two days that they were available.

Then he tells that I'm not to talk about anything but little one. You seriously think I want to talk to you about anything and that we are to come to their house. Their house where my husband is living. I tell him I would prefer to visit at my home or nearby. He tells me again that we would meet at their house. I reiterate that we're not coming there and if they wanted to visit, they would have to come to our home or meet us nearby. He finally agreed, but the whole thing did not sit well with me.

His dad had always been super mellow and calm, even when others were heated, and his change in demeanor set off alarm bells in my head, so I ended up blocking them both after some more back and forth. I decided if they couldn't be civil to me, then they couldn't have contact with Little One right now. Little One and I have been through hell, and he left us with nothing financially. In February, he gave me $100 when we were in court and that's it. I've had to borrow money.

I've gotten food stamps and financial assistance and a lot of amazing people on Reddit to help me get through these last few months. Pizza, groceries, even some betting for little one and art supplies for me. Without all these support here, I don't know that I would have been able to keep going. Thank you, Reddit. Much love, fam. I have been struggling because my financial assistance card, Never came in the mail. They finally sent me one UAPS and I got it yesterday.

We have been scraping by and luckily we live with my cousin and she has been amazing. So here is the update. My last post I posted my response to his sister before I blocked her from calling or texting me. I completed the text with my attorney's information. Well, she gave my husband my attorney's information and he contacted his authority. His attorney contacted my attorney because, because JNSO, I'm really not sure what that abbreviation is. I think it's just not significant other, so the OPs X significant other, admits that he should

be paying some form of support and wanted to set up something. So basically, my take on it is that his attorney told him he'd get slammed in family court for not paying support. I say this because he's had plenty of opportunities to give support in court through cash app, whatever, and he hasn't. He received our tax returns, along with his biweekly paychecks and a gift of $1,000 from his sister and felt no need to offer us any support. And then the OP post another update titled 12 felony counts and he is spending his first night in jail. And this update reads as follows.

Today, my waiting ended. He was indicted on 12 felony counts related to the production and possession of illegal content. involving minors. He was arrested this afternoon and denied Bond. I am so relieved. I feel like I can finally breathe again. He is having to face his actions and people are seeing who he really is. I hope he has lots of fun tonight.

Thank you to all of you that have supported me through this whole thing. It's not over yet, but it is heading in the right direction. And then the O.P. post another update a week later titled, My Husband finally went to jail this week, and I was on top of the world. My dad lost his fight with ALS today, and I feel like I'm going to fall to pieces. Today, my father lost his battle with ALS, and for the first time, I missed having a partner, husband, to lean on, when your heart is broken. Today, my daughter sobbed because now both our daddies are gone. My footing feels unsure.

He was in so much pain and I would feel so selfish. But he is the only parent I've had for 20 plus years. I feel like tantruming and screaming to the universe about how unfair it is. That is when I hear my dad. Life is never fair. But I wasn't ready to be an orphan at 35. I wasn't ready to have to raise a child on my own. That may seem stupid, but damn.

How many hits is it taken? to knock someone down. And then the OP post, another update titled, I was wrong. They gave him a second bond hearing and he is going to be out until trial. And this update reads as follows. After being on cloud nine when my STBX was finally charged and indicted, I felt like things were finally going in the right direction. I didn't realize he could request a second bond hearing because his attorney wasn't at the

first one. He was charged with 12 felony counts related to the production and possession of illegal content involving minors. There is a mandatory minimum of 35 years for a few of the counts, and they're letting him do house arrest because of the pandemic. It took everything I had to keep it together as the judge read all these letters of support for this wonderful young man. His sister recently contacted me again about getting to know our five-year-old. She swore she never knew about the investigation. Their dad knew everything,

and she acted sympathetic. I should have known. I should have known she was full of the same old shit. I was just so hopeful about my daughter having some connection to his family. In court today, they presented a letter she wrote in support of him being released. She spoke of his outstanding character,

and how good he was with kids. As soon as the hearing was over, I texted her about it. She said that was her brother, and she couldn't be expected to do anything but support him fully. And I needed to learn how to get along with people with different views. My STBX refused to be involved with his siblings for four years prior to all of this. He said his brother was violent, this sister was untrustworthy,

and their other sister is the best, worst addict you could ever. ever meet. I begged him to let the kids be cousins, and he said little one had cousins, my niece and nephews, and they welcomed them back with open arms and threw us away. They didn't want anything to do with my baby. I'm just supposed to forgive? I'm supposed to trust these people? What the fuck is wrong with me that I can't just let those relationships die? And now he's going to be free. I don't even understand everything. His bond is $25,000 but his bail is $0. He is supposed to pay to have monitoring software

put on all electronic devices that can have access to the internet. He isn't supposed to access the internet or have contacts with minors. He can't go to work. He can only see his attorney and take his parents to doctor's appointments. So he's just going to be sitting there

and twirl those thumbs? I don't believe for a second that they will be able to keep them off the internet. They made a big point about the victim being a thousand miles away, but I'm one of the first of the first of them. of the main witness is and I'm 30 minutes away from him. So when he gets tired of twiddling his thumbs, he can run over here and kill me real quick because his life in prison isn't much worse than

40 years. My security is gone. I want to run away. I posted his mugshot and charges on my Facebook when he was arrested and added all of his family and friends so they could see. I made it public. My sister told me that it really reflected poorly on my character. They expect me to count down to their family and just accept that. Of course we support him and will do anything to keep him out of jail. They act like something is wrong with me because they don't believe in blindly supporting loved ones bad acts. They say my thinking is skewed when I ask, if you don't feel like he is to blame here, then who is? The answer is me and I'm supposed to be cool with them being around my kid.

Now, I'm thinking that he lives at the edge of a city park and I could just print a front of flyer. Dumb, I know, but if I'm going to be scared anyways, and distributed around the area, so people know who is on their street. I was also thinking about posting something on the next door app. I just feel so powerless. No matter what, he wins. There is no credit to us for keeping it together while he's been free for the last six months. Now he gets to be free again, and I'm pushed back to a cage of uncertainty. My niece is devastated. Her pain in violation wasn't enough to keep him locked up.

Twelve felonies. What the fuck? I apologize for this hideous rant. And then the OP makes another update titled, He will never tell the truth and they will never see the things I have. And the update reads as follows. I tried to build a relationship with this family for my little one, but that it has repeatedly exploded.

in my face. His sister acted compassionate, then wrote a letter to the judge supporting his bond. We fell out after that. His mother sent me a package with multiple cards and letters. She signed each one mom. I had sent her husband a Facebook

message in January and one was a response. We do have little ones' best interest in mind. Nothing says you care about someone's welfare like a response six months later. I friended some random people on Facebook a lot actually.

The other day, this lady accepts my friend requests and then sends me a message. She asked if I'm STBX's wife. I said yes. She said good. I promise this is going somewhere. I'm just getting to know my biological family, so please keep it positive.

At that point, I was confused as to who she was. I had never heard of a child that was put up for adoption in their family, but my STBX FIL has 12 siblings, so she could fit it anywhere. I ask her where she fits in. She responds, STBX is my brother. STBX F-I-L is my father.

At that point, I was blown away. Is this a new revelation? Is she older than his oldest sister? Then she says that that STBX is really kind and sweet and that she assumes he's innocent. I thought he was kind and sweet too once. All I can think about here are three beautiful teenage daughters

that I see on her page. I stopped talking to her Because I want her to wait and see I don't want to argue I can't help but feel like she has been asked to try and talk to me She has said some things about little ones That mirrored their other sister's words exactly I'm not sure what to think

I've also discovered that he is studying anatomy He downloaded a $25 app about it It's extremely out of character I don't know that I can even explain When we were together He would flip if I spent more than like $3 a month in the play store. He never wanted to read or learn new things. He taught himself about technology and loved watching stuff about ancient aliens, hidden treasures, and conspiracy theories. I can't help but

wonder. This makes me feel crazy. I have no clue how paranoid to be. Maybe it's innocent. I don't know. I believe he would commit S word. I am in a constant fear that he will hurt little one or me. I don't know if I'm being crazy paranoid or if it is justified. I feel like I'm shutting down. I just want to hide in the house. And then the OP makes another update titled JNSO please guilty to illegal content involving minor charges. And I think JNSO is just no significant other. So X significant other.

But the update reads as follows. Today, my STBXH stood up in court and pled guilty to nine counts related to the possession and production of illegal content involving minors. He admitted guilt to three charges and entered Al Ford pleas on the rest. Some charges were dropped, persuant to a plea deal with the prosecutor. There is no agreement in the plea deal for sentencing, which is projected to take place in March. I'm less than pleased that he was able to give the Alford pleas, allows him to admit that the evidence is enough to convict him, but he is not admitting guilt. I don't feel as relieved as I expected, but it is definitely a step in the right direction. And then the OP makes another update titled JNSO shared my insecurities with JNSIL to give her fodder to harass me with.

And the update reads as follows. Tonight I realized how targeted her attacks had become, and these weren't wild guesses on things she might be able to hurt me with. I have blocked her on social media and changed my phone number. Somehow she finds a way around it. Tonight she attacked my weight and called me desperate to fit in. She tried to taunt that my father had abused me. My dad just died, never abused me.

He adopted me after raising me most of his life. My bio father was abusive. She told me that my little one, would hate me when she grows up. She told me I wasn't good enough for her brother's last name. These are all the things that I spoke about with my husband. We were together for seven years, and I loved and trusted him. I know I shouldn't allow myself to be hurt by him anymore. He already violated so much. My trust, our marriage, the safe environment I thought I had created for the children in my life, the promises he made to our child and other children,

their trust and the list goes on forever. Edit. My husband has recently entered some guilty pleas for the illegal content involving minors. I have a protective order keeping them from our child and me. And then another update, she had her attorney contact the prosecutor and say I was harassing her. She sent the prosecutor one screenshot of a message. I sent her in response to 10 or so messages from her. Last night, I sent the prosecutor the full text exchange.

The prosecutor just messaged me and thanked me for filling her in on the entire conversation. The prosecutor said she would address Sister-in-Law's attorney and let Sister-in-Law know what consequences she may face if she continues. And then the OP post, the final update titled JNSTBX was finally sentenced by I Hope You Like Orange. For the quick answer, he received a 40-year sentence with 30-year sentence with 30. 34 years suspended. He will go to prison for six years, at least. Then he will be on indefinite supervision after his release. After release, he cannot have any unsupervised contact with minors,

including his own children. He can't drink. I don't think he can't do without for the entire term of supervision. Any violation of these rules or any new charges, and he has to serve the full 40. So his side tried to pull some last-minute pity plays and came up with a diagnosis of autism. He is 35 years old

and worked in management for many years. I know that autism can take many forms, and I'm not making light of it. I just think it's funny that it didn't affect him enough to prevent him from living an average life. But now that he is facing prison, he claims it's an issue. He just got a diagnosis.

This month and his family tried to say they thought he was diagnosed as a child, but had forgotten slash nobody ever said anything to me about it, it. A few days before court is crazy. Long-lost sister messaged me on Instagram. The only place I'd failed to block her. I don't go on Instagram. I set it up because last year was posting pics of my child on his Instagram and I wanted to see. She said STBX has autism and little one may have it too. I've never blocked anyone so fast. She's never even met my child. He had a bunch of character reference statements, but they were all from people he didn't interact with during her marriage.

prosecutor pointed out that everyone spoke of his nice boy or a good young man we also got to hear the results of his psycho evaluation where he admitted to having an attraction to teenagers he also admitted to jerking it to material of my niece it was hard to hear god so fucking gross overall it is a huge amount of weight off my shoulders there is some sadness i had such higher hopes for my marriage, and I never imagined my child would lose her father. We are healing, though, and I feel like we can finally move on with our lives. I want to thank all of you who continued the support through this 15-month ordeal. Y'all have been my sounding board and cheered me on when I was ready to give up. Thank you, Reddit. I couldn't have done it without you.

And just, wow, that was such a saga of posts and so sad. I mean, this truly, just outlined a nightmare. Like, you can't get much worse than this. Your significant other being founded out as a complete and utter pervert and creep that was recording your niece. I mean, like, it can't get more nightmares than that and dark. And the OPE outlined the entire saga. And, I mean, her poor father died during all of this.

Her ex-husband's family was attacking her through all of this. I mean, it was truly such a horrific. horrific thread, but luckily at the end, the O.P.'s ex-husband got arrested and got sentenced to many, many years in prison, so a good ending, but God, such a nightmarish, nightmarish story, where her husband was found out to be a complete creep, and she had to find the material on his tablet, so utterly gross, but at least this one had a relatively good ending with him being in jail, and I really hope the OP can move on from this and hopefully, you know, yeah, just move on the best they can. And I hope that the OP's little one can move on as well. But truly such a hard saga to read

because, yeah, this is anyone's worst nightmare. O.P.'s husband tries to kill her and she seeks help from Reddit. My common law husband of four years struggles with his mental health. He takes takes pills for depression but doesn't particularly like the way that they make him feel once every six months or so he stops taking them he becomes violent and emotionally abusive until he eases the withdrawals by taking them again he apologizes i chalk it up to it's not him it's the withdrawals and we move on recently he made the decision to stop entirely and the results were even worse than normal. I made the decision right then and there that we couldn't be together anymore until he sorted himself out, one way or another. He made threats of S word, but clearly hasn't done it. Financially, he needs a few weeks to sort things out.

He claims that he loves me, but he also understands my position. I'm a little uncomfortable living with a man who threatened to beat the shit out of me, but again, withdrawals. Not him. I can handle it for a couple of weeks. I just learned that he is talking to other women. He's downloaded some dating apps and quite happily pursuing other relationships.

I don't want him as he is at this moment, but I was operating under the assumption that eventually we would sort it out and come back together. My question is this. Where do I go from here? I am so angry, and feel hugely disrespected. I'm allowing him to continue to stay here until he finds a place.

I feel like he can hold off on finding a new girlfriend until he has at least sorted out the mess he has created in his own marriage. And I very much want to confront him and tell him to leave. But I'm also worried that if I don't cut him some slack, he will just commit S word. At what point do I stop worrying about him and his well-being and start caring about my own. And this original post by the OP got little to no support or even attention,

with only one upvote and one comment which reads as follows. Mental illness is not an excuse for mistreating the people you love. The way he acts and whatever he does next is not your fault at all. He has been abusive and cruel to you and he is not owed any slack. I would minimize conversation with him unless you're asking him about how his move out process is going. And then the O.P.

Doesn't post for another year. And the update post that the O.P. Made is nothing short of heartbreaking. Let's get into it. My husband assaulted me yesterday. Not going to lie, it was bad. If I hadn't gotten away, I'm reasonably confident

that he would have killed me. At least, he said he was going to. He was arrested and charged with assault by choking, uttering threats to cause death, and mischief under $5,000. He was released without bond, and there is an order of protection in place. I don't believe that he will breach it. My question is this. What can I anticipate being the end result of this?

He has an otherwise clean record, and while he has a history of being volatile, he has never physically assaulted me before. Is he likely to receive jail time? Obviously, our relationship is over, but I do want him to get the help that he needs. Not sure that jail, especially a jail without programs, is going to be the best place for him. Thanks in advance. And then the OP makes a quick edit saying, thank you all so much for your input, shared experiences, and advice. I very much appreciate all of you taking the time to comment. I think my question regarding jail time has been answered. I perhaps didn't make it clear in my original post.

My husband suffers from mental illness. I liken it to a big earthquake. The plates are shifting, and there's the occasional release of pressure, but it's all building towards the big one. San Francisco sunk. The big one has passed. I will honor the no contact order, and I'm confident that he will as well. He fucked up irrevocably, and I'm aware that we're not.

without significant professional intervention, it could happen again. I just want to make sure that he receives that professional intervention and isn't just tossed in a cell. And then the OP makes a small update a few months later saying, Hello, a few months ago, my husband assaulted me, cops came, took pictures in my statement. We are in the process of reconciliation, and that would be easier if there wasn't this looming over us. Is there any way that I can recant or otherwise mitigate the charges? And now let's get into some of the comments because people have a lot to say about this. Someone says, do not get back with him.

Words mean nothing. And then the OP response saying, that's fair. I understand your position. Someone else says men that hit women don't deserve second chances to abuse. Get as far away from this guy as you can. And then the OP posted an update a few months. later or almost a year later saying, Hi, all, it's been a journey.

And I thought after so many of you were so kind, I owed it to you to update, though it's still not quite over. Despite the urging that each and every commenter had, we reconciled. He was very sorry, you see. It was a difficult time for him, and I wasn't appropriately supportive slash appreciative of that.

He was very sorry. He cried a lot. He didn't know what happened, he blacked out, it would never, ever happen again. He would spend the rest of his life making it up to me. I did leave out of my original post, mostly because I wasn't aware at the time, that he'd been using a significant amount of bogus sugar in the months leading up to the assault. I found out he dabbled several months prior, made it clear that I was a deal breaker, and assumed that he had stopped.

When we reconciled, there were conditions that I had. had laid out. He must attend therapy. He must take his antidepressants. He is absolutely forbidden from using illicit drugs. I explained my reasoning. Deviation from any of those conditions would make me feel unsafe. He agreed. He came home substantially before the order of protection was lifted. We hit it, much as we hid his assault from our families, but we were both doing the work, and honestly, it felt like we were better than ever. Honeymoon states. age. As soon as the order was lifted, all attempts to better himself, understand himself, understand why he behaved the way that he did, stopped. Like, give you whiplash. It was so abrupt.

We were still okay, but I started to get the old eggshells feeling I used to have. Fast forward a couple of months. I was doing laundry in the morning before I had to drive J-ma to her doctor's appointment. Checking pockets like any woman who's had a lag bolt go through the spin cycle does, and I come across a very tightly rolled $5 bill. Nope, not doing it, not having it, how fucking dare you? I confronted him later. It was my fault for snooping. Um, no. Your jeans still got cleaned. They just arrived with a side of helping of consequences. He said we were done. I said, nope, you messed up, you got caught, and now you're going to make it better.

You don't get to decide unilaterally for both of us. After all, we've been through that you're done now. Too bad, figure it out. He was pretty awful for a couple of days, and I got to rethink my knee-jerk reaction. My desire to hold on to a relationship that apparently only existed in my mind, or if he felt like it, was weighed and found lacking.

He changed his tune on day three, But by then, I'd made the decision to put myself first. He was a little surprised. Not going to lie, the time between me telling him we were done to when I moved out was the scariest time of my life. He would accuse me of not being scared because the bedroom door wasn't locked. Well, it was damn well locked the night when you tried to kill me. What's the point in locking in now? He would call me horrible names, scream at me, advance on me, and I'd flee me.

my home. He would use constantly and then send the most horrible texts. I stayed with friends most of the time. As terrible as it sounds, I'd harbored some hope that he'd fall through on his threats of Sward, just so that it would stop. Ultimately, Crown and I worked out a plan for him for going forward. For the record, he and his family still think that I should drop the charges so he can move on. We've agreed on a guilty plea to a lesser assault. waive the other charges, and in return, he will receive a conditional discharge. 18 months probation, three free programs that he'll be required to take. Apparently the reason he'd abandoned therapy is because he cannot afford it.

And he does those and keeps his nose clean for about 18 months. Then they wipe his record. This should theoretically happen next month, though it's been pushed and pushed and pushed. So the takeaway here, I'm a flaming, an idiot for ever trusting him again. Fun aside, he's refused to go to the bank with me to have my name removed from our joint accounts. Despite my explanation of the situation to a manager alone, but he has relentlessly bounced payments. Yesterday, they took an awful lot of money out of my account to cover the payments past the overdraft and his. I truly believed that we could have worked it out

if he had gotten the help that he needed and wasn't using drugs. I thought I could force those things to happen. I'm smart and funny and pretty, plus I can cook, and I'm not too shabby in bed if I say so myself. The horror of what he'd done combined with the very real possibility of losing me should keep him in line, yes?

Well, no. As it turns out, there's no rhyme or reason to mental health issues, especially mixed with addiction. There's not coming back from you're going to die when someone's hands are wrapped around your throat. I am infinitely sorry

that I didn't listen to the advice given to me initially. I read your comments back then. I cried a little and then thought they don't know him like I do. You were right and I'm grateful to each and every one of you much as I'm grateful for every breath

that I get to breathe. It took me longer than, it should have had to get there, but here I am, breathing freely with peace in my heart, though a substantially lighter bank balance, fuckers. Been stocked for the past two months, going completely insane. Originally posted to R-slash-RBI and the post reads as follows. Around two months ago, my stalker broke into my apartment without destroying the lock and completely trashed for the place.

This was followed by a series of unwanted visits throughout the day and the night. Always leaving behind a trail of vandalism and destruction on my belongings and property. The approximate damage to the property slash belongings is around $2,000 in the course of less than a week. I changed the lock and locked everything valuable in my suitcases. They managed to pick my locks. At this point, I was afraid to touch anything in the house. They contaminated everything from my food in the fridge, my dishware, to the bed sheets on my bed, and any sort of cleaning products.

If I leave my stuff unsupervised for a few minutes, I would find it trashed. They knew exactly when I would take a nap, shower, or used the restroom. I called the police. In spite of the damage to my property and the trashed place, I didn't bother cleaning it because they would make it dirty again. The police somehow refused to take me seriously. and refused to investigate to see if there were any fingerprints. This was after waiting six fucking hours at 2 a.m. for them to show up, by the way. Out of desperation, I moved everything into a storage unit and decided to move.

They followed me into my storage unit by using the card that they stole from my home while I went to use the washroom. They had the passcode and a storage unit. Once again, I went to the restroom while sorting my things in the storage unit one late evening. I put my notebook in the storage unit, lock the storage, and went to the washroom. When I came back, I found the words high in their writing. They went through all of my personal documents, journals, and even my documentation of everything that I wrote.

And will cross out random stuff slash write random comments using the exact same style slash color pink to confuse me. Anyhow, things have gotten progressively worse as I have fled my home, stayed at a shelter, moved to multiple Airbnbs, hotels, anything to get away from this motherfucker that follows me around all day. They pick my locks, gets into my lock facilities slash rooms, while evading public surveillance.

What the fuck am I supposed to do? The police won't take me seriously because there's no apparent damage. Things have escalated from the vandalism and destruction of my property, to me waking up to find red scars, torn skin, peeling skin, and scratch marks all over my body. It's never severe enough to be life-threatening because that would leave incriminating evidence behind. Instead, like with my belongings, that they damage slowly one by one, scratched up all my electronics, dumped trash in my luggage, keep dipping my clothes in acid so that it's forever wet, cut my shoes in brand new clothing.

Cut up anything they can get their hands on. Left disgusting stains on the clothes I was wearing while sleeping, etc., etc. They want to torture and torment me psychologically. And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says, I think this person is you. Someone else says,

investigation shows that the OP is a zero-day-old Reddit account with Six Karma. Only involved subreddit is this one. No further investigation. investigation required. O.P., please get some help from a mental health care professional. Someone else says, I honestly don't know what to think here.

I have no idea how someone could coincidentally break into your house every time you happen to be occupied without being caught even once and managed to elude public surveillance while breaking into your storage locker. And how could someone cause wounds to your body while you're asleep without waking you up?

I know this possibility might be scary, but maybe you did all these things and you're not remembering that you did them due to an undiagnosed brain condition. Please get in touch with a doctor as soon as you can just to make sure. And so it's pretty clear that the OP is suffering from some sort of delusion or mental health issues. And it's just very sad to see because this is the last update the OP has ever posted on their Reddit account. So I hope that the OP got the help they needed because in all honesty, I don't think. think it is a stalker. I mean, all the things she outlined, it's just, it's impossible for that to be a person doing that to her. And everyone else on the Reddit page agrees. So, yeah, I just really

hope the OP gets the help that they need. Mysterious reoccurring blood splatter in our bathrooms is my husband lying to me? Originally posted to R-slash RBI and the post reads as follows. Buckle up. This one is a weird one. Since me, who is 24 female, and my husband who is 26 male, have moved into our apartment eight months ago, I have been finding random blood splattering on the walls, cabinets, and floors around our toilets, and once even on our bathroom mirror. They are usually tiny droplets, but sometimes they get smeared on the walls or floor. I assume when they're fresh or wet.

I know that the first suspect would be menstruation blood. However, I have not had a period in two years thanks to my birth control. I first noticed it around three or four months ago. I've asked my husband about it, and the first few times he'd tell me that he had no clue where it came from or how it got there. But after I'd clean it up, and new ones would appear, I kept would ask him again.

Eventually, he told me that sometimes when he blows his nose, His nose bleeds, and it could be from that. I partially accepted that answer. However, I can't recall a single time where I've blown my nose and missed the tissue so much that my snot sprayed all around me. I also mentioned to him that your nose is not supposed to bleed when you blow it, and maybe he should see an E&T to see what's up, but he refuses and says it's fine. So the cycle continues. I clean up blood droplets and they reappear around our toilets in a matter of days.

When I mention them, he gets frustrated and sure with me and doesn't want to talk about it. He has doubled down on the it's from blowing my nose thing, but I still can't imagine how, number one, he blows his nose so terribly that it sprays snoddy blood in every direction. And two, his nose bleeds every day. and he's not concerned about it? I recently asked him if his nose has always done that. I previously dated somebody with a thin nose lining, and they once got a massive nose bleed from me doing the got your nose thing,

so I know it's possible. But he said no. He doesn't think. It's always been like that. And then he pressured me to stop the conversation. Also, I would never find blood in our previous house's bathrooms, and we lived there for four years. I will add that we have a regular intimate life,

and I've seen basically every inch of him, and there's no sign of any cuts or trauma anywhere. I'm sick of cleaning up blood, and I'm also repulsed by the idea that he doesn't know how to blow his nose without spraying bloody mucus everywhere. I'm also very concerned for him if he really has new nosebleeds every day. As a friend from high school had this happen, and he ignored it,

and it ended up being cancer in his sinus cavities. So here I am asking Reddit, what the heck is going on? Is he lying to me? Is it really his nose? If so, why is he suddenly bleeding every day? Why is he so defensive about it? What is going on? Edit, to answer some FAQs or frequently asked questions.

Yes, we have pets, but the blood shows up only bathrooms, including the guest end suite, where the pets are not allowed ever. Those rooms are closed off. No blood anywhere where the pets are allowed. I am in control finances and there is no money missing ever. Both our direct deposits go into our joint account. He has a credit card, but the only checking account he has is our joint one.

He does have hemorrhoids, but so do I. And I've never gotten blood anywhere but the toilet. He gets medical anxiety and this could be why he is defensive because he should. should probably see a doctor. He told me that when he goes to the bathroom at night, he doesn't turn any lights on, so he doesn't wake me. I'm a light sleeper. And when he blows his nose, he doesn't see the blood since it's dark.

He does have pretty bad allergies. He has no behavioral challenges since it started. Also adding a comment I made. For those suggesting drugs, I'm not dismissing you. I'm getting shamed for ignoring the comments suggesting it's drugs, but I'm still absorbing the possibility that it might be and I need time. I can't just willy-nilly accuse my husband of doing drugs without hard evidence because if I did and he isn't doing drugs,

then that'll put a huge strain on a relationship. If my husband accused me of shooting up in my spare time without evidence, I would be pissed. Again, I'm not ignoring you or dismissing your theories. I'm just taking my time because that's a shocking thing and I need to process the possibility. So, if he were hiding drugs in our tiny apartment, where should I look? I checked inside the toilets. I pulled apart every drawer.

Our ceilings are too high for either of us to reach. If you have experience with addiction or living with someone with addiction, please guide me to finding more evidence. And now let's get into some of the top comments on this post. Someone says, do you all have a dog that wags their tail a lot? definitely a chance that they have an injury that bleeds when they happily hit their tail all over the room or could be any other animal. And the opi replies saying, So we do have pets including a dog.

However, I find the blood in both our master bathroom, as well as our guest and sweet bathroom. And the pets aren't allowed in the guest area. We keep them all shut off. Someone else says, What sort of frequency does this occur? I'd ask to see how he blows his nose. That way, you know A, if it's actually from his nose.

and B, if it is his nose, then you'll see how he's getting everywhere. And the O.P replied saying, I rage clean the blood at least once a week, which means it all appears within a week. Also, in the six years we have been together, I've never seen him blow his nose aside from the time he had a sinus infection, and it wasn't bloody, and it didn't spray everywhere. Someone else says, could he be cheating on you?

Doesn't mean it is grim, but period, intimacy can in fact cause blood splice. latter and the op he says oof but if he's only cheating on me with girls on their periods because it's literally every week they reappear also i really don't think he's cheating and then someone else has a more alternative theory saying are you certain that it's even blood forgive the potentially stupid question please some fungi present as red spots or blotches some paint reacts poorly with water and they also spot and blotch off colors, potentially red. Sometimes rust can seep out of your walls, floors, or ceilings. Think outside the box.

Could it be mice, bug spore? Do you have geckos where you live? And then the O.P. Post and update a few days later, about two weeks later. And let's get into that update. An update some, probably very few, have been waiting for. We solved the case of the bloody bathroom. Now I know that there will inevitably be some users who truly believe that my husband is discreetly hiding a drug problem despite this update and harassed me about it. So I will no longer be using this account after it's posted.

To per face, I received about 10 DMs that offered to send pictures of what their or a loved one's blood evidence of shooting up or snorting looked like. And I was thankful that literally none of it looked like what I was finding. Those photos, the lack of gaps in our finances, no history of unexplainable personality changes, as well as the fact that I cleaned slash searched every inch of our 800-square-foot apartment, and found nothing suspicious, solidified my conclusion that it wasn't drugs. I am pleased to announce that my husband is just gross. Before I continue, I'd like to thank those who sent me photos and personal anecdotes of their or their loved ones at drug use.

And I wish you all peace and good health in your lives. So obviously, it's been a few months since my post. In that time, I was harassed in my DMs with people calling me ignorant, some suggesting that I divorced my husband based on this wild possibility, that he might be using hard drugs. Firstly, if my husband had a drug problem,

I wouldn't leave him, L.O.L. I'd want to help him. I love him, and addiction is a disease, and he would need support. but alas, I found myself searching dark corners of cabinets and furniture crevices for secret drug hiding spots and found nothing. Now, I sat him down for yet another conversation after the blood, and he reassured me that he was having nighttime nosebleeds and promised that he would turn on the lights from then on to make sure he cleaned it up because I did not deserve the burden of doing so for him. He lived up to the promise, and after that conversation, I noticed he was turning the light on when he went to blow his nose at night. and the blood drops stopped appearing.

Fast forward to two weeks ago. I was on Instagram and came across a reel that was titled Signs You're Using Your Nasal Spray Wrong. The very first sign was new, unrelenting nosebleeds. The metaphorical light bulb over my head illuminated. As I remembered that since we moved into our new apartment, my husband's allergies have been worse than ever and he started taking Flones to control it.

The time of the blood appearing was about a week and a half, after he started taking the nasal spray. I know this because he uses my prescription ever since the nose spray came out with a pill version that I like better. As soon as he came home, I showed him the video I saw, which also demonstrated how to properly use nasal spray.

You have to tilt it, not shoot it straight up. He took a week off of the nose spray to reset his sinuses and last week started using it again, the correct way. And Holy Cow, he stopped snoring, his voice sounds different, his nose stopped whistling and thank the Lord he stopped having midnight nosebleeds no more blood

but also no more paranoia on my part and he can properly breathe out of his nose for the first time we moved here you may be wondering why he didn't see a doctor when the nosebleeds started it's because we are poor and he has medical anxiety but yeah case solved my wife's traumatic childhood is killing my marriage. Originally posted to R slash marriage and originally posted on February 6th, 2025, and the post reads as follows. This is long, but I want to share my story and hear your guys' thoughts. I've, 46 male, been married to my wife who's 45 female for 20 plus years. We have three teenage kids. Until recently, I would have said we had a wonderful marriage. But as I look back, I think out of pure love and obsession, I've been looking at things with rose colored

glasses. We met in college. Her best friend went to the same college as me, and that's how we met. She had a tough upbringing. Her mom was very young when she was born, and her parents were never married. She didn't meet her biological dad until she was in her 30s, which is a story for another day. Her mom isn't really a good person, and they are no contact with one another. Until my wife was a teenager, she shared a bedroom with her mother in her grandparents' house. They were more like sisters. When she was a teenager, her mom got married to another awful person. She had an affair with a married guy. Eventually, he got divorced and married my mother-in-law. He had two kids, who were slightly older than my wife. Imagine what that was like. Merged two families with teenage

kids, their dad cheated on their mother, and then shacked them all up and one house. I can't imagine. There are countless stories of the horrors my wife went through as a child. Her mom told her she should have gotten rid of her, tried to push her out of a moving car. There were smacks and slaps. My wife was never complimented growing up. I have never heard my mother-in-law compliment my wife. My wife, who was always smart, did well in school, didn't get in trouble, helped around the house, cooked for the family. She was and is very, very pretty. Her mother only criticized her and it was constant. As if that wasn't bad enough, she was S-Aid in college by some friend of her stepbrother. To say that this has taken a mental

toll is the understatement of the century. I have loved her with every sense of my being. Have supported her, supported her in therapy. I am by no means a perfect husband, but I have tried my best to be supportive and loving. Anyways, Favisphableness. Favis. Fast forward to today. I've been married for over 20 years. My wife obviously has a lot of issues stemming from the above. I love her more than anything in the world, but it hasn't been easy. I've borne the brunt of some pretty outlandish treatment,

and I'm wondering if I have been blinded by love and if this is not a safe and healthy environment for me. I don't know if I could ever leave. I don't know if I could do that to her or do that to my kids. But I'm starting to feel like I am the only one here to serve the purpose of providing support. Financial, emotional, physical, parenting. Here are some of the things that have happened. About five years ago, we had gone to a beach location for a long weekend with a lifelong friend of mine and his family. It was an all-around great time.

One night, while we were leaving an amusement park, we were walking with the kids. for ice cream. We walked past a bar and a baseball game was ending. My friend and I say to the wives that we want to grab a drink and watch the end of the game while they get ice cream next door. Everyone seemed fine with it. This is something I never do. My friend and I were gone 20 to 30 minutes. When we got home, my wife lost it. Couldn't believe I abandoned the family for a half an hour tops while they ate ice cream. This was the first time she hit me. She punched me four times and threw a chair at me. I was shocked. This pattern escalated over the next few months. She slammed the shower door on me, breaking it, and effectively trapping me unclothed in the shower. If she hadn't brought

me a screwdriver to remove the shower door, I'd still be in there. Right before the holidays in 2019, four months after this hitting started, my wife had a disagreement with my daughter. My wife made a mistake and said something she shouldn't have. It should have been easily fixable with a quick apology. But my wife turned it into World War III with my daughter, which I thought was unnecessary, but my wife and I put up a unified front with our kids and addressed things later. After my daughter went to her room punished, my wife and I went into our room. I tried to call my wife down, but apparently she wanted me to match her level of outrage and my wife unleashed the fury on me. She punched me countless times. I ended up with a bloody nose and cut beneath my eye. I am over six

feet tall and a pretty fit guy. My wife is almost a foot shorter than me and maybe 80 pounds lighter than me. I sat there and let her punch me countless times. I remember being frozen and also being afraid. I didn't even want to grab her hands out of fear. I would be blamed for the fight and arrested. She was unhinged, screaming as she pumbled me. It was awful. It was really fun to coach my daughter's basketball game with a badly bruised and cut up face the next day. After this, I freaked out. I realized the situation had gotten way out of hand. My wife apologized profusely. I said I couldn't go on like this. Our kids heard the commotion, and we later had to talk to them about it. I told my wife, this wasn't safe for me.

She had a near breakdown out of fear I'd leave her. She discussed with her therapist. We went to couples therapy for the first time. It was a mess. I've come to realize that therapists, or at least the ones we have seen, focus on the patient with the most needs. Given my wife's past, she has had the most mental health issues, and so that is where the focus was.

It was really hard to be put on the back burner. The pandemic came and the couples therapy stopped. We tried again last year, and that was worse for the same reasons. What else has this marriage been like? Well, we've always been very intimately active. My wife is very beautiful. She gets attention anywhere she goes,

although she usually seems oblivious to it. I sometimes feel infatuated with her, but she grew up with a mother that hated her and constantly took her down. I have always complimented her, her beauty, her intellect, how wonderful of a mother she is, how incredible of a cook she is,

how incredible of a hostess she is for holidays, she is amazing in so many ways. I think I'm good looking, but nothing special. I'm in good shape, but I'm going bald and I've aged. Most people would say the guy is punching above his weight. I was good with this for a long time. But I think as I started to feel somewhat insecure as I aged, I'm not particularly vain or anything,

but I looked for reassurance from her about my physical appearance. For the first time in my life, I felt insecure. I almost felt embarrassed. She didn't come through for me. Quite the opposite. She had never really complimented me about my parents, our whole relationship. Maybe she's just brutally honest. I don't know.

One night after we were intimate, she told me how small I was. This was a completely unsolicited comment after 15-plus years together. I think I'm average down there. I have measured myself and I'm just under six inches. although I thought she was always pleased, so hearing a complaint in that department was quite a blow. She later admitted she said it to hurt me out of some sort of anger. She wasn't even sure what she was mad about.

She's tried to walk that back, but it's been tough. Not long after that, I asked her what was physically attractive about me. I was just looking to feel better about myself. She told me there was nothing. Those were her words. And she was kind of shocked that I was taken aback by that, and hurt by it. Hey, I asked, so I guess I deserve it. She tried to walk that back a lot over the years as well. Around that time, we went to dinner and I sort of said, hey, I'm over 40, and for the

first time ever, I'm feeling anxiety and stress over work, the kids in life, etc. I asked if she could try to be more supportive and caring. She said no, that she was a good wife already, and was providing support already. She couldn't do it anymore. We actually talked through a lot of it. I expressed how it made me feel. She apologized for what she said. She's actually way more giving of compliments than she has ever been. She's improved there, but it feels forced. Only being said, because I asked her to, doesn't always feel sincere.

I have discussed it at length in therapy, and I'm basically good with my parents and what I can slash cannot control. But I still think it was unnecessarily mean of her. My wife has a massive fear of abandonment and has massive trust. She regularly accuses me of cheating. I've been nothing but faithful. I have to travel some for work. On average, about three days a month, some months more and months less. She regularly wakes me up in the middle of the night to FaceTime to see if anyone is in the room. There has obviously never been. One night last year, I had to travel to give an important big presentation. Had to give it first thing in the a.m. I prepared for weeks and it was stressful. I am presenting. I am presenting. the work of my team, so pressure is on me to show the good work everyone has done. My wife and I spoke around 10, talked for about in half an hour, and went to bed. At 2 a.m., I woke up to banging on the hotel door.

She had somehow convinced the hotel manager, huge national hotel chain, so I'm not sure how this complaint with their policies, to check on me because of an emergency. I realized I had maybe 10 missed calls and maybe 30 text messages from her. I have been asleep. So we FaceTime. We confirm there's no one there in the room with me. She wasn't sorry or anything. She was mad that it took her so long to get a hold of me.

I was now wide awake and had to give this presentation. Then had to work a full day. A 10-day work dinner on basically three hours of sleep. My wife has always been insanely jealous of other women. My first boss after college was like four years older than me. her husband worked at the same company my wife hated her i guess because i would talk about her she was the person i worked closest with i basically gave up any female friendships that i had not that i was particularly close with any women one thing that was a particular issue for her was bachelor parties when all my friends were getting married

she hated the idea of me going to a strip club okay fine i don't particularly enjoy strip clubs Nothing against the workers there, but I just see it as they want my money, and I don't need pay to see a really attractive woman. So anyway, neither of us had strippers or anything like that at our bachelor-slash-bachelorette parties. I had a great time of mine, we played golf, went to an awesome dinner, and then gambled afterwards. Anyway, some friends of mine did go to the clubs for their bachelor parties. I always told my wife, and she wanted me to attend.

I offered to skip or to skip that part, but I didn't. don't think she wanted to be seen by my friends or the other wives as controlling or a stick in the mud. I really don't know. But she wanted me to stay in contact the entire time. It was a little over the top, but I did it. I would literally text her nearly the entire time I was there, describing this situation, just talking about the night. Not sure why I even went to that part of the party. This happened three or four times. When I got home, I got the third degree. She examined me, smelled, me examined my body for evidence examined my underwear it was crazy before the last one i said i don't want to do this i don't even want to go but she didn't want that she wanted to go and stay in touch

she promised to back off of me but she didn't really at one point a bouncer came over and told me to put the phone away when i was texting so i did i guess he was worried i was taking pictures no i wasn't taking pictures, I was staying in touch. Typing this out makes me realize how ridiculous it was. All of this would have been no big deal. These bachelor parties all happened over 10 years ago. Recently, she was talking about her best friend's bachelor party, which was years ago. My wife was the maid of honor.

She had always insisted that she never went to a strip club ever. Well, recently, my wife said something about the men pulling her friend up on stage and embarrassing her. I was like, where was this? even in that moment, I wouldn't have cared that they went to a club. I trust her. Or until all of this, I fully trusted her. She insisted that this was a typical bachelor's party restaurant that wasn't a club.

I don't know what it was. Does anyone know? I said that it felt like she wasn't being honest. She was offended. I said that I thought that the real issue was that she thought I may have put her through the same thing she put me through. I said I didn't like it, but it was so long ago. I don't really care, but she doubled and tripled down. So she goes to the other room and texts her best friend and comes back and hands me the phone to show me the text.

She asked the friend, did you go to a club for your bachelor party? Which seems like an odd question to ask someone out of the blue. And the responses seemed odd. So I asked my wife, is this the full text exchange? It feels like something is missing. So I look in her deleted texts and sure enough, there are deleted texts. I restore it and the response from the message. the friend is, oh, that is a definite yes.

So I look at my wife shocked. I don't even know why she went down this path. She says her friend isn't the wrong. Now I'm annoyed, and I'm asking what happened that you would lie about this? What did you do? Horror stories about Bachelet parties are running through my mind. We have an argument over this where I am gaslit to hell. Doesn't remember.

Her friend is wrong. That's why she deleted the text. She didn't cheat or do anything wrong. All the comments about our level of. attraction to me come back to mind. No real resolution, but she promises me that she will figure out exactly what happened. Fast forward about a month to a holiday we went to. We see her best friend for the first time in a few months. Of course, they talk a lot about amongst themselves, which is obviously fine. We leave and 20 minutes later. We are in the car driving home and she gets a text. It's from her

best friend. It includes a screenshot from one of their other friends and the best friend text says, wife and I just cannot remember what we did for my bachelor party. Do you remember? And the response is this whole description of a comedy show that they went to. The entire thing is so contrived. It's almost comical. There's no way this is true. And it is so clear that they discussed this at the party we are just at.

And they came up with this plan. I feel so manipulated. My wife is in the passenger seat. And she is almost giddy reading the text and saying how they have now solved the mission. mystery. I have no idea what happened at that bachelor's party, but the whole thing in the line was so unnecessary. She's still holding firm to her story, whatever it is. I wouldn't have even cared if they went to a club because I trusted my wife, but this story has made me lose trust.

And now all the abuse over the years is coming back to me and making me see things differently. Have I ever been loved? Is my wife capable of love? Did she cheat on me? Am I the world's biggest fool? I love her in the family we have created. Obviously, there are so many positives to our relationship that I didn't list, but can all the positives in the world make up for all this? Edit. First, all comments in the DMs have been so caring and kind, even the ones trying to smack some sense into me. There is a lot of love out there from some kind strangers, thank you, based on an exchange of my DMs.

I'm sharing that the physical abuse did stop five years ago. She worked with her former therapist who specialized in CBT, and she is more in control of herself. I'm not sure she full acknowledges the pain that this caused me and the kids, and all this other nonsense has continued. I'm not sure this changes anything for me, though. And now let's get into some of the top comments on this post. Someone says, dude, this is abusive AF. Someone else says, you sound like a good and sweet man. She is very abusive, and that is not okay.

The minute she laid a hand on you, it was not okay. It is abuse. She had a very sad upbringing, and you are extremely empathetic. And that may be an explanation of her trauma. It is not an excuse. There is no excuse of hurting you. No excuse for the cruelty of her verbal harm. No excuse for the manipulation and jealousy.

Our country does not recognize that men can be abused as women. Maybe worse, because they have little support or feeling they can reach out for help. You are caught in a cycle with her, but she is an abuser. I do worry for your kids, and the example or abuse she is doing there. When you are trapped in the cycle, you cannot see it clearly for what it is, especially when you love her and feel empathy for her. But you are being abused, and this is not okay. You deserve to feel safe and respected.

I hope you can reach out separate from her, to get support and advice. If the genders were reversed, people wouldn't hesitate to say, leave her. Remember that you don't deserve this, and her lack of healthy boundaries growing up should not be put on you. I hope you can find some safety.

Good luck. My heart hurts for you. And then the OP posted an update six and a half months later. So let's get into it. I posted several months ago about my 20-plus-year marriage and how much nonsense I've been put up with. people mostly gave harsh but good advice to me i wanted to give an update and come back for more advice this is long so feel free to skip of the ramblings of a middle-aged dad of three aren't of interest to you

so back in february i insisted on a two-month separation we told the kids i was traveling for work and when i was home that my wife was traveling to meet friends my wife hated every second of the separation I had some conditions for returning. We tried marriage counseling again. Third counselor. This one was better, I guess. But my requirement was that my wife take the lead. Find the therapist, give all the backstory on the abuse, the insults, etc.

She did all that. I further insisted that she told the complete truth on anything inappropriate that has ever happened with another guy, including at her friend's bachelor's party. This took a while. At first, she held on to the same story. Then she started saying things like she was working on it with a therapist, working on how to tell me. She somehow didn't understand that a statement like that was awful for me to bear. Obviously, my wind went to all the worst places.

I ended the separation in April with the idea she was making progress. We discussed her physical abuse of me, a lot in therapy. The abuse really peaked in late 2016 to 2018. She told me at the time that she became very resentful of me. I had gotten a promotion, and she overall felt everyone thought I was awesome, and she was jealous. At the same time, she got into excellent shape. She's always been very attractive, but at that time, my youngest was like 6 to 8 years old, and she still had some baby weight.

She shedded that baby weight and looked incredible. I guess I'd gain some weight around that time, and she thought she didn't get enough attention or credit relative to me. I don't know. She says these things very matter-of-factly. She did a lot of CBT work and specific work for abusive partners. She owned it with the kids, and we had several good conversations. I thought we were turning a corner.

I have been frustrated by the lack of disclosure. on her friend's bachelor's party, so in June, I said I was leaving again. She actually handled this much more calmly and maturely. We still saw each other and even did date nights. We were even intimate, not sure what the separation was. So she said she would focus on what happened and was getting ready to share anything and everything with me. A couple of weeks ago, she asked me to join a session with her therapist.

She wanted to do a therapeutic disclosure. I wanted to throw up. I go to the therapist's office and she proceeds to tell me how at her friend's actual bachelorette, they went to some show, no strippers, just drinking in silliness. Then she says that her friend's work friends threw her a bachelorette at a hotel.

And there were strippers there. In my wife's words, it was wild. Now, contact for this is my prior post. I really don't care if she saw those strippers. I care more about the double standard she applied in the line. As she treated me like crap, whenever her friend's mind went to clubs for their bachelor parties. She said she never even touched any stripper, even though multiple approached her many times. At first, in very weird clothing and eventually fully unclothed.

Lovely. But that's all that happened. Who knows if it's true? I don't care anymore for reasons I'm about to get into. This is all in front of this therapist. So then she says that I asked if there was anything else with the guy that she hasn't told me. If this wasn't long enough, brace yourself. She had this other friend who was in the middle of a divorce in 2016.

Friend was a fitness instructor at a gym. Friend met a retired professional athlete at the gym. I remember the friend being obsessed with this guy, all while technically still married. Well, my wife and this friend would go out and meet up with the retired athlete and his entourage. My wife would effectively play wingman for her friend, and one of the entourage took an interest in my wife. My wife claims nothing ever happened other than flirting, but that when they were sent out, this guy always had his arm around my wife, constantly touched her butt, often tried to kiss her, sent intimate pictures of himself,

bought her a thong bikini for her to send picks back to him. My wife said she never wanted it, but never fought it. Like the attention and mostly wanted to support her friend. Friend eventually had a falling out with the retired athlete who moved away. So that whole thing sucks. So I'm completely stunned. Wife is crying. Therapist has spewed some nonsense about my wife's bravery.

That a requested disclosure of anything that might have been remotely inappropriate. And she has come through for me. I leave. Wife follows. Phone starts blowing up. It's my wife's friend who calls nine times. She then starts texting me, swearing to me that what my wife is saying is true. There were strippers at Bachelor Party number two, but wife did nothing.

Texts start pouring in from her other friend confirming this story. And then I get a text from her friend who paired up at the athlete, and she confirms that story. Wife was only doing her a solid, taking one for the team. So great. Let's get a few more people involved in my life. My humiliation, the crumbling of my marriage. She could talk to all these other people about all this, but not me. She needed a therapist there to talk to me about it.

It just feels like one big manipulation. So anyway, I feel completely done. I still love my wife because I'm just a simp. We are separated. I have spoken to a lawyer. My kids know and are furious with me because I am the one leaving. Be kind to your partner's people. Love them and respect them.

I adore my partner and still do, but it wasn't enough. And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says she took that long to cover her ass with getting the story straight with all her friends. I don't understand why all her friends even know the day she told you, let alone within 10 minutes. That she was planned, staged, manipulated, and executed. Don't fall for it. She absolutely was screwing old boy with her friend with the other guy. You don't let anyone, especially if you're married that long,

grab your ass in the public, act like you're together, when it can get back to your husband easily, and let them buy you a thong bathing suit and take pictures for him, but oh, honey, I pushed him away each and every time. Yeah, nope. Sorry, I know if most people had a intimate picture shoved in their face, free for the taking. that she admitted she enjoyed the attention and kept going around multiple times you're going to hope on it

or in it i wouldn't if i was married but a lot of people don't have great morals i'm telling you if he was doing all of that intimate stuff to her whether she liked the attention or not as a woman it would make you super uncomfortable you would not feel safe or want to keep being around him in person over and over unless they are being intimate she bold-faced lied to you and i'm so sorry to you and i'm so sorry to you sorry that she can't even man up and be a woman and admit it when she is caught red-handed. You deserve a lot better. She sounds kind of narcissistic or full-blown, to be honest. Someone else says, at what point do you turn to the therapist and say,

you know, goddamn well that what she says isn't the full truth and you're plotting her for finally disclosing after months or years that not only did she lie and project this all on me, but she actively abused me during the process. And even now, you are letting her skate with this trickle-truth nonsense about the athlete friend touching and sending intimate pictures and gifting her lingerie without making her say outright that she has had at least a semi-physical, if not full-on affair, all while threatening me and my children's safety with verbal, emotional, and physical abuse.

Your license should be revoked. O.P., I'm glad you finally have it figured out. But now you need to be very, very careful and methodical here. Separate your bank accounts. Begin the apartment hunt. Get an attorney and begin cataloging everything because if she's as bad as these posts made her up to be, then you need to think about your actual safety and livelihood. You may even want to consider a preemptive restraining order while you separate as she's

already shown that she will use other people, her friends, hotel managers, etc., to try and get to you so there's no reason to believe she won't show up at your work one day or take the kids out of school early for a surprise weekend trip. You are not safe. And she will use every tool in the box to get at or get back at you. Someone else says, I get the wife has been through a lot of shit, but Jesus Christ, she became a monster. It's enough to dry up and sympathy for you just know the kids have been messed up by having such an unstable mother and may even resent dad for not leaving her before i hope this guy sticks with the separation someone else says this just might be the most depressing thing i've read on here in a while

he's been abused his entire relationship and absolutely no one in his life seems to care Jesus Christ, man. Another commenter says, quoting the OP here, now my kids hate me because I'm the one leaving. The commenter replies to this saying, Holy hell, I thought it couldn't get any worse. And then the OP makes an update nearly two months from the last update, and let's get into it.

It has been a tough couple of months. I will try to answer several questions that I've gotten and then give an update. This update will be a little bit of me. me venting. Timeline. Wife's best friend, I'll call her Sarah, Bachelor at party was in 2009.

So like I said in the posts, a long time ago. It just came up more recently what they did. Wife's personal trainer friend who hooked up with a retired athlete. I'll name her Laura. Got with that guy in fall of 2016.

This is around the time my wife started with insults of my physical appearance. In summer, 2018, she first hit me and she last hit me in January of 2019. All the rest of the abuse like slamming the shower door on me happened between those dates. The glass didn't shatter,

but the door broke such that I couldn't get out. Kids are now 19, 16, and 14. Oldest is away at college, but was with us all summer. Why didn't I leave when she first hit me? I was just so shocked that I froze. My kids were younger at that time. and I hated the idea of not being with them every day and splitting time with them. We started a couple's therapy, and I thought that was the answer.

There were probably some other questions, but those were the repeat questions. So on to the update. In August, I was not doing well. My wife and I were trading off time in and out of the house. I had this feeling that my life was a joke, and my marriage was a farce. I was so upset and embarrassed about all of this, I really had not discussed with a lot of people. I had to talk to my sister.

I finally did, and she was shocked about all of this, but was supportive. My sister has also become very close with my wife, as they have almost been like actual sisters for almost 25 years. My sister got me back into therapy, which has been good. I've really been focusing on the positive aspects of my life. Maybe my marriage will end, but I have three great kids who are all doing well. my life in my love store with my wife was real even if she has massive flaws that have hurt me terribly that's been helpful perspective for me so on to the drama let me start with sarah wife's

best friend forever she has been my friend for longer than i have known my wife we met up a few weeks after the therapy session she apologized a lot told me how much she loved me and how wrong she knows she was in all of this. She said the story of her bachelor's party was that her work friends were giving her grief for her bachelor's party being lame. So they threw her another party at a hotel, which had strippers at it.

Sarah didn't want this, but gave in to the peer pressure. My wife didn't want to go. But Sarah begged her, and another friend to join them, to sort of help fend off any pressure to do anything with the strippers. My wife and the friend agreed.

Sarah said her husband has always known about this and never realized until this past year that my wife never told me about it. She confirmed nothing happened. There were three strippers that ended up sleeping with three of the work friends, whatever. I said if this were true, I never would have had an issue with it. I might not have thought it was a good idea to go to a hotel room, but I would have trusted my wife. I said the manipulation and gaslighting were unforgivable and I would never view her the same. She told the whole story and then went into advocate for my wife mode, how much my wife

loves me, how wonderful we are together, our family, and all that. She laid it on thick that she and my wife's other friends always thought I was such a catch, so handsome, all that. She reaches out every so often to see how I'm doing, apologize again, ask what she can do, I'm cordial, but I don't really engage with her. I got a lot of text from Laura, the personal trainer. Laura is not one of my wife's main friends. Most of my wife's friends are from high school or college, with a few moms mixed in. Those women are who she is closest to. Laura was someone she met at the gym in the like 2014-ish. She was a mom with similar-aged kids and then became friendly. Her husband seemed like a good guy at the time and we hung out with them as a couple several times. Laura's husband

cheated on her. Laura was devastated and the girl's night. out picked up in frequency. Laura turns out to be completely insane. This is what Laura told to me. In 2016, she met this retired athlete. I'll call him Joe. He had just retired and wanted a trainer to work with. Odd, but okay.

She was obsessed with him and slept with him almost immediately. According to Laura, once she slept with Joe, he had no interest in her. But his friend, who I will call loser, wanted my wife desperately. So Laura knew that if she suggested that they hang out as a group, Joe would agree. She pimped my wife out, basically. Laura said my wife knew exactly what was happening and constantly expressed her discomfort.

But Laura guilted her by talking about how low she felt after being cheated on and she needed the sky. Laura insists that my wife never did anything, was grossed out by a loser, and that he was pathetic, that I was way hotter than him. Laura tried to get text messages from that time, but only has them back to 2020, which she offered for me to see. Not sure why. So here is where the truly crazy part comes in. Mind you, this is all according to Laura. Laura reaches out to Joe last month and catches him up on everything. Joe apparently laughed it off and referred to my wife as your hot friend that loser couldn't close.

Charming. So Laura offers for me to speak with Joe and or loser, saying they will confirm this story. This lunatic, even informed me that Joe said loser is doing well, got married and had a kid. How could I possibly care how his life is? I declined this offer to speak with them. Ever since this all went down nine years ago, my wife and Laura haven't hung out a lot. They are friendly enough, but my wife distanced herself.

All of the above is from each of those two ladies' perspectives and really changes nothing for me at all. even if I buy all this current story, this was kept for me for so long with many lies and secrets along the way. And on to my wife, the love of my life. She's offered anything she can think of to me. She has written detailed timelines. She wanted me to go back to meet with her therapist again by her refused. She has been speaking with her therapist and with me when I make myself available. About 2.S.A. she had in college.

They feel this is all interconnected. Trigger warning for essay in this paragraph. The first was a very violent attack. I feel awful even describing this. A friend of her stepbrother held her down and forced some things while on top of her. She says she wished she bid it off and I think she should have. She said she just wanted to be over. Her brother and her parents did not support her after the attack.

And her stepdad even said that sometimes messages are misconstrued in this situation. Stepdad also said to her mother, something about the example that my mother-in-law had set up for my wife, a reference to my mother-in-law being a teen mom, essentially that my wife must have wanted it. The second time, she was cornered at a party and touched and kissed by some guy. She was very frightened and said she fought back at first, but she froze when she realized he was stronger than she was,

basically letting the guy touch her everywhere. Those were both before I met her. With the second one being only a few, months before I met her. My wife has been working through the trauma from these assaults with her therapist. She feels her reaction to loser and his advances were a form of trauma response, and that she would be much stronger today. Hearing her talk about this breaks my heart and infuriates me if I ever saw one of those guys. My wife insists on taking a polygraph. It was not the experience I was expecting. It was expensive and it took a long time. I met with the guy and we came up with questions

beforehand. He asked her four questions. The test found her to be truthful that she didn't cheat on me with a stripper, with loser, or with anyone else, based on a broad definition of cheating. Test also found her truthful that loser essayed her, that loser's various advances were rebuffed and not consented to my wife. There was another question about my wife's attraction to me, which she was also truthful about, so she passed. The polygraph doesn't make me feel any different. First, the science is muddy. But more importantly, it doesn't really change the fact that this was hidden from me for years. I would not recommend this path to anyone going through anything like this.

I have been reflecting on everything she's been saying about her assault and her trauma response. I've discussed with my sister. My sister says two things can be true at once and aren't necessarily related. My wife was S-Aid, abandoned by her family in dealing with it, but then also treated me poorly and disrespectfully. Our separation has been rough. It is expensive to maintain a whole separate residence, so lately I've been staying in the basement,

and I miss my kids when I am gone, as does my wife. We are in sort of an in-house separation. My wife has never been a good sleeper, and often has nightmares. She will come downstairs to me in the middle of the night and snuggle up to me. I've also had a really hard time over the past few months with all of this.

She is very aware of how I am doing in any moment and will come to me to comfort me. I've had a few panic attacks. My wife knows me best and knows how to soothe me and calm me down. I will admit that I find comfort in her. This leads to confusing feelings and defeats the purpose of a separation for me. I'm trying lately to actually enforce an actual separation. I need other people to rely on and other ways to regulate my emotions. I'm struggling with a few things. First, my wife has had to deal with some horrors in her life. I don't want to be a monster and reject her when she is trying to heal. She is in a way better control of her emotions than she has ever had been. This loser guy was

nine years ago. The physical abuse was in 2018 and 2019. I should have stood up for myself back then. I didn't. If I had left then, what would have happened? She has done a lot of work in therapy, and now that she is better, I'm going to leave her. But I'm so hurt and mad about the abuse, the controlling behavior, the gaslighting, and the lies. I still don't plan to make any decisions until next year, as I need to be in the right headspace. I have met with an attorney and have gotten some preliminary advice, but I'm on hold there.

One last thing. A few people brigaded from the best of sub. There was a very strong desire to make me into some sort of monster because I didn't mention my kids in my very long post. I was accused of ignoring them, abandoning them, even abusing them. My wife has accused me of abusing them. Well, I sort of freaked out over that accusation.

I had conversations with my wife, each of my kids, each of my kids' therapists, my sister. My sister even spoke to my kids. My kids each said either to me, my wife, my sister, or their therapist that they have never felt abused or hurt by me or my wife. verbally or otherwise. My kids were originally mad at me for being the one to initiate the separation, not because I was abandoning them. They are doing much better now.

And my wife has really owed everything she has done and tried to make sure they are not upset with me at all since I did nothing wrong. They realize things are strained between their parents. They know the majority of the issues and they feel loved. There are a lot of things they witnessed that they shouldn't have, but they are working through their feelings on that with us and with

their therapists. This is a tough time for them too, as much as it is for me. So I'm trying to make sure they are okay because I love them and my wife loves them too. And now let's get into some of the top comments on this update. Someone says, I'm going to be honest. I don't believe your wife and a polygraph test does not prove anything other than she can remain common under pressure. All a polygraph does, is measure your heart rate, blood pressure, and respiration. If you can calmly lie, you can easily pass

a polygraph test. They are not admissible in court for this reason, nor should they be what you are basing your wife's honesty on. Your wife has been physically abusive to you and has spent months treating you like something she dragged in on the bottom of her shoe. There is zero evidence in either of your previous post

that your wife loves or respects you. and while your wife may have abused you, that does not give her any excuse to go on and abuse others. As someone else who suffered intimate abuse in their life, my husband has become someone I trust to protect, love, and support me. And in return, he is someone I protect, love, and support. We mutually respect one another, fight fair, and act at all times, in our own best interest, and in the best interest of the other. Your wife has a partnered history of the other. Your wife has a partnered history of deceit and self-interest. I wish you the best of luck truly,

but I gently urge you to get some serious individual therapy and do some soul-searching as to why you think a physically violent, deceitful, self-interested person is the best you can aspire to call your spouse. And then someone else says, for the love of God, please get a divorce. And then someone else says,

if your marriage turns to polygraph test, it's over. The relationship has reached the point of no return. Maybe it can keep going on fumes, duct tape, and some emotional mascusism on both sides, but the life has gone out of it. Marriage's end, sometimes sadly. The happiest ending to this messy story would have been at the beginning of the latest update. And then the commenter quotes the OP here. Maybe my marriage will end, but I have three great kids who are all doing well. My life and love story with my wife was real. Even if she has massive flaws that have hurt me terribly,

that's been helpful perspective for me. And then the commenter continues saying, that's what he needs here and all he really needs. Remember the good. Don't let it drown out the bad even when there was bad and then don't wallow in the pain of it. And that is the last update we have ever received from the O.P. And so what do you think happened?

Do you think the OP ended up getting a divorce with his wife or trying to salvage their relationship that was obviously not going well? I mean, having to resort to a polygraph test is just insane. But yeah, we haven't received an update. So what do you guys think? I don't know. It's just such a dark and depressing saga of the OP just being abused for years on end. Super, super sad. Wife gets home from work to discover husband has willfully neglected.

their children. Originally posted to R. Slash, True Off My Chest, and the post reads as follows. I'm leaving him. This is the last fucking straw. I worked a long shift. Came home and there was trash and food everywhere. My child, who is eight male, runs up to me, covered in stains and baby formulas saying, sis is crying real bad. She's hungry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I I tried to feed her. I rush in the nursery and sure enough, my daughter's diaper is full. She's screaming and crying, face red, literally still in her crib. The room is messy with baby formula and chips.

I later learned from my son that he had tried to make a bottle for her but didn't know how. So he tried to feed her potato chips to calm her down, but she couldn't eat them. He'd been trying to open the door for me in my husband's bedroom. it was locked the whole time while he was in there sleeping I asked him if he ate and he said not really just chips and he tried to take all the food out of the fridge

to make something to eat after feeding and changing my six month old I literally almost tear that bedroom door down trying to get him to open it and he opens the door all groggy and says what do you want? Clearly annoyed I tear him a new one and scream at him that our children haven't eaten all day

because his lazy ass couldn't wake up and care for them. He just stares at me dumbfounded and is like, oh, my bad, I thought they ate before you went to work. I'm crying at this point. He stayed up all night playing video games and promised he'd wake up and stay up for the kids. I should have known better. I told him I wasn't going to get our kids taken away because of him

and that we are over. I'm shaking, literally have never been so mad at my life, and all he can say is sorry. I don't know where I'm going, but I have to leave. I hugged my son, told him he did his best, and I was proud of him for taking care of his sister. So sad, he had ever had to do that. Edit. If you say, well, you chose to have kids with him, you're just as bad for choosing to have kids with him.

I know you're not an adult and or lack critical thinking skills. And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says, take your time and whatever you do, do not let him back in no matter what. someone else says take care of yourself and your kids someone else says please look out for your safety and then the op makes an update one day later saying i tried to update as quickly as i could thank you for your patience look at my profile for the first one i asked him to leave the apartment we're both on the lease technically but i really don't care at this point said he needed to leave or i'd tell the police that he failed to care for our two children he got super

angry with me, and it was a mistake and it wouldn't happen again. I said I didn't care, pack your shit and go stay with your dad. Needless to say, after some intense arguing, he went on a rampage, destroying stuff around the apartment, TV, dishes, mirrors. He made a complete mess of our room and living room. I just let him. I was recording everything anyways. My son came out asking what's going on, and I told him to lock himself in the nursery. with his sister. I didn't think you would try to do anything to them, but I've read way too many stories. I had to stop recording to call the police. I yelled at him to calm down, because the police were on their way, and all I will say is he put his hands on me, and I had to fight him off.

God, this is such a sad situation. I apologize if this is triggering at all, and I'm trying to water it down. He did get arrested, and all three of us are relatively unharmed. I just have some light bruises on my arms. My mom is. taking the kids so I can attempt to get the apartment cleaned and replace what I can afford. Sorry, this isn't the happy ending you are all wanting. I felt as though it was important to update since so many of you were worried, but we are fine. My son has been just oddly quiet, and I feel awful. Hopefully, I can take him out for a treat or something soon when I get this mess sorted out. I probably won't respond to many comments as I'm very tired and stressed. I'm taking so much

energy to even type this. I'm sorry if it's not the best update written. I tried. Thank you for your support. Better days are ahead, hopefully. And that is the last update we have ever received from the OP, and I really hope that the OP and her children's lives have gone better and away from that horrible, horrible man. I mean, that first description of the OP's son coming up to his mom and saying, I tried to feed her chips, I tried to make her a bottle like that is just so heartbreaking. I mean, an eight-year-old kid, having to worry about that is just so, so depressing and heartbreaking, and that really got me. I mean, that poor kid was just trying to help his sister, who was very young, obviously, a baby. And it's just a horrible, horrible man that was sleeping all day.

And even he said the excuse of, I thought he fed him before work. She said she got off a 10-hour shift. Okay, even if she did feed him before she left for work, that doesn't make it okay. to not feed them for 10 hours. I mean, it's cruel to not feed anyone for 10 hours, let alone two young children. Like that is just so fucked up and it makes me so angry because that idiotic man stayed up all night playing video games and slept all day and his children were just out and about trying to survive and get food and his poor or the O.P's poor son was just trying to

make his little sister feel better, make himself feel better, just so. sad and I really really hope that the OP is doing better now. And all right guys with that final Reddit thread that wraps up some true disturbing Reddit threads. I hope you enjoyed today's video. If you did, please like the video and subscribe to the channel and comment down below and let me know your thoughts. I appreciate every single comment.

I read every single comments and thank you guys for watching. It means a world and this community is the best on YouTube hands down and also comment down below and let me know if you'd like to see longer videos than this. shorter videos than this because I mean this is a pretty long video two hours long I have to give my voice a break but um yeah you guys are the best thank you so much for watching to the end of the video and if you enjoyed this video please check out some other videos on the channel I'm sure you'll enjoy and yeah thank you guys so much for watching this is snook and I'll see you next time bye