Snook - True Terrifying Reddit Threads

Episode Date: June 1, 2026

Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at https://shopify.com/snook From a horrifying thread of a user discovering their husband is a depraved predator... to a chilling thread of a user finding out someone was secretly living in his house... these are some True Terrifying Reddit Threads... I hope every OP in this video is doing better now. Would you like to see me make similar videos in the future? Leave your thoughts down below in the comment section, and make sure to like and subscribe! Please do not attempt to contact anyone talked about in this video. Join the Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/SnookYT⁠ ⁠Follow me on instagram and Spotify! If your story or post was included in today's video and you wish for it to be taken down, please reach out to this email. [e-mail] And yes, I'm a human voice. NEXT SUB GOAL - 1,000,000 subscribers! So make sure to subscribe! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey what's up guys and welcome back to the channel and today we're getting into some true terrifying Reddit threads and oh boy these are some of the most horrifying scary and like the title says terrifying Reddit threats I have ever gotten into before so you're going to want to make sure to stick around and I appreciate some by means the world and make sure you like the video and subscribe to the channel the channel subscriber goal is 1 million subscribers before the end of the year so please subscribe and alright this video will be long enough already so sit back relax grab a drink or grab a snack and without further ado let's get into some true terrifying red of threads i 27 female just discovered my boyfriend 29 male of five years has been hiding a disgusting secret

I'm going to put a disclaimer on this before I dive in. This is a throwaway account. This is going to be long. I have literally no friends and almost no family in my life that I can share this with, which is why I'm sharing it here. I would really love advice, but I also need a place to simply vent and be heard. This post will have very dark subject matter. that I did not feel comfortable mentioning explicitly in the title.

For some background, me and my boyfriend have been living together for the past five years. It was great. He seemed like a genuine, charismatic, and caring guy, and I thought I'd met my soulmate for life. We got along amazingly well. We had built a strong trust with each other. we are very open about almost everything, and any time that we had a fight, we were able to talk it out and work through it. I'm a bit of a social recluse and struggle to get close to people. So after years with this person,

he had basically become my entire world, up until yesterday, when this whole thing blew up in my face. Warning signs that I completely failed to take heat of. Number one. We had a brief hiccup within the first couple of years into the relationship when he didn't seem as intimately interested in me, despite having what I was vaguely aware of at the time in adult video addiction. I knew he was jerking it often, at least daily, but I was lucky if he was in the mood more than once a month. This almost ended the relationship, not because I thought he was cheating.

though I did have suspicions, but because I realized he had such an intense adult video addiction that it might permanently harbor his interest in real intimacy. He has been single for quite a while before we got together, which I assumed played a big part, and he made it seem like his intimacy drive hadn't been an issue before that point. He had attempted S-word after his last relationship, which ended terribly, so I could understand why he was single for so long. We eventually worked through it.

He assured me the issue had nothing to do with me and that he would work to improve it. And I empathized with his previous situations and tried to be patient with him. Number two, he was always really touchy with his phone. This always made me very suspicious of infidelity. as anyone would be. But nothing else in the relationship further raised that suspicion.

And after becoming aware of his adult video addiction, I thought he might just be embarrassed of me seeing his raunchy Reddit account or something. Even though I'd explained to him many times before that watching adult videos in reasonable doses doesn't bother me. I did, only once, sneak on to his Facebook messenger just to make sure, because I had a gut feeling that he was hiding something. His Facebook was normal, except a few messages he sent to girls when we first started dating to tell them he was now in a relationship

and couldn't associate with them anymore. And he made sure to make lots of flattering comments about me. I knew how easy it was to delete messages, but I trusted him enough at that point and I didn't go snooping again. Number three, he had mentioned previously that his Instagram account got hacked to explain why it was full of adult videos. I had never gotten onto his Instagram to see it myself. He had just nonchalantly mentioned it, though I don't remember why it was brought up. And I didn't really feel the need to question it at the time.

I knew there were adult video bots all over places like Tinder and Tumblr, so, it didn't seem that crazy of an idea that his Instagram got hacked and spammed with adult videos. And even if he did have an account dedicated to adult videos, I wasn't that worried about it. I was willing to let him work through his addiction on his own and not interfere with his privacy. Well, fast forward to two nights ago. I was having a really bad night and called him to talk to him while he was driving home. I was using our iPad and decided I wanted to pull up Instagram. I usually only use it when I'm on my phone, so I had to reinstall it.

When I opened the app, I just started scrolling mindlessly until I realized I was looking at weird adult videos or as close to adult videos as Instagram will allow of girls who looked around mid-teenage years in bikinis. I just said, whoa, what is this? and told him what I was looking at. He said, oh, that must be my hacked account, and continued with something about how gross it was

and to just ignore it and log out. I laughed it off at first because it looked like the same crap that bots and constantly spam my inbox on my Tumblr account. But then I saw, we'll look to be a much younger girl in a bikini. I mentioned it to him because I was really gross. out at the point. And right as I was about to log out, he got weird. He told me to log off immediately and the tone of his voice had changed and taken on a worried slash desperate edge. It caught me off guard and I realized something was wrong. I was still on the logout screen when I noticed

the username. It was a name I had never seen before and he uses the same name for everything. So I knew, it was a throwaway account and realized he was lying. I had always thought it was his main account that had gotten hacked, and that's why he hadn't outright deleted it. But there's no reason a throwaway account, especially one as gross as that, shouldn't have been immediately wiped the second it was hacked. I was still on the phone with him,

so I lied and said, I had logged out and continued browsing through his account to try and find proof that he had curated the account himself. He was following thousands of raunchy accounts. The front page had a bunch of teen girls, and I saw a hashtag that said something about pre-teens. I went into the messages to see if I could find anything personal that would be linked to him directly.

There weren't many message boards left that hadn't already been deleted, but I noticed the tone of the remaining messages he had sent did not seem like him at all. There was a message where he said, you're a little too young for me to be talking to you. The girl in the picture looked no older than a preteen. It was the last thing I found that sealed it. A video he had sent of him jerking it to a picture of a young looking,

possibly underage, but I couldn't tell, girl's face on the iPad I was actively using and finishing all. over the screen. I'm assuming the girl in the picture was the girl he had been chatting with and sent the video to. I recognized the background in the video so I knew it was him. I stayed on the phone with him for a little while longer and tried to pretend I wasn't

completely mortified because I was unsure how I wanted to confront him about the situation. I was planning to wait until tomorrow to bring it up. But then he kept trying to say, I love you over the phone. and I realized I could not say it back or even think about sharing the same bed with him overnight. When I finally told him that I knew the account was his, he didn't bother trying to deny it. He was calm for the most part

and said that he knew this day would come eventually and that I had every right to hate him and that he knew he was a terrible person. When he got home, he tried to further explain that he wasn't fully a predator. And though he had an attraction to younger girls, usually 17-year-olds who look older than they are, he had no interest in expanding in past pure fantasy and that the attraction was not there in real life situations. He explained that his adult video account got out of hand, that he wasn't intentionally seeking out girls that are young,

and that everything had snowballed from his initial interest in looking at, adult videos. He said he had already tried to delete the account, and when he couldn't figure it out, he just uninstalled the app and hadn't touched it since the last messages he sent last year. I didn't believe he was telling me the full scale of the truth, but he said he had nothing to lose at that point, so he didn't have any reason to lie any further. I told him it was normal to occasionally have a regretful, intimate thought, like I don't know, some sort of weird fantasy. but to have an entire Instagram account dedicated to young people in bikinis

was a huge problem and that he needed to seek professional help ASAP. He kept saying he was just going to commit S word at that point now that his secret was revealed. But I told him if everything he had told me at that point was genuine, then it wasn't too late for him to get help. He said he was open to it.

and I told him I wasn't going to kick him out onto the street. I have no kids in my life that I have to worry about him being around, and that I had absolutely no attraction for him from then on out, and that our relationship was over and could not be mended after lying to me and wasting five years of my life over what he apparently knew was, quote, eventually going to happen. He understood, he apologized, and thanked me for treating him like a person. I had no intention of getting authorities involved because I found nothing illegal.

As disgusting as his Instagram account is, it's sadly not even intimate enough content to be worth reporting because Instagram moderators apparently don't know what model accounts are actually used for. And before we get into the next update, I'm sorry to butt in, but before we move on, a quick word from our sponsor. When I first started this channel, I thought the hardest part we finally stories people actually wanted to hear. But honestly, it turned into way more than that. Editing, thumbnails, uploads, branding, every day felt like there was another problem I had to

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Go to Shopify.com slash snook. That's Shopify.com slash snuck. And now let's get back into the video. Fast forward to yesterday. I woke up that morning really by bothered by an obvious gut feeling that there was much more to the iceberg that had been uncovered the previous night. I had been in a bit of a shock when I was on his Instagram and hadn't thoroughly absorbed everything aside from the messages in the video he had sent. I had already signed out of the account on the iPad when I thought I was going to wait to confront him, so I no longer had access to it, but I did remember the username. So I searched it up and was able to access

the accounts he was following. I looked much more thoroughly this time, and there were a lot of young girls, more than I originally realized, younger than preteen, even younger than that. I'd say most of the accounts were girls who looked preteen,

and a disturbing amount that looked even younger. I realized, this isn't just a weird fantasy, it's straight up being a predator, I decided to look further through his app history on his iPad and see if any other social media apps would still be logged in. Nope. And I found suggestive-looking live stream apps

that I'm not sure what they are, but they worry me. I moved over to his PC while he was at work. Nothing abnormal had been left in his browsing history and all websites were logged out except Facebook. I did take another look at Messenger, but nothing indicated he was talking to. or manipulating minors. I finally just pulled up his file explorer and typed in Girl in the search and found a hidden

folder he failed to completely delete. One of the videos was titled, and I can't say the exact age, but almost single digits girl. I'm not going to describe it further than it being straight up illegal content involving minors. I checked the download data, and it was. July of this year. I took a picture of the date of the video and texted it to him, telling him he was a liar in that this was illegal. I did contemplate calling the cops at this point and would have without a second thought if it were anyone else. After five years knowing someone,

I wanted to believe he wasn't a complete monster, at least in other aspects not involving this atrocity. However, I am aware that he is far enough into this to be a danger to young minors. I told him if he didn't want me to get the police involved, that he would need to seek up therapy immediately. I'm giving him a couple of weeks to find one. But I expect him to get an appointment for next weekend. He is not allowed to be anywhere near a minor. And when he got home, he needed to log into everything so I can witness him to lean it all. all. He said he understood and would do it. When he got home and sat down on his computer, I kind of berated him a bit. When he pulled up his Instagram account, I told him to look through

all the extremely young minors who's following and looking at intimately. I asked him why he would intentionally follow girls that young on an account and why he would think intimately about them. He seemed disgusted with himself, but I still had doubts it wasn't an act. I had him log into any website I had suspicion he was abusing, and demanded he pull up anything else I wasn't aware of. I learned he had a TikTok that was following over 6,000 accounts. I had no idea he even had a TikTok. I started to interrogate him a bit more, trying to catch any other lines he might have been feeding me.

I started asking about his childhood. He had told me earlier in our relationship that he was constantly beat as a young person and possibly as aed by his stepfather. And he admitted he had violated his younger sister. He had been a teenager and his sister was newly a double digits minor. He claims he never R-worded her and then it wasn't malicious. He had instigated it, but it wasn't forced. When his parents caught them, he had attempted S word and was sent to Juvie. I asked him if he ever apologized to his sister,

and he said he did the last time he went to visit his family when he was 21. I asked him how long he had been searching for illegal content involving minors, and he claims it had only started recently, and had been an effect of a smaller problem snowballing, over the course of several years. I still have a lot of doubt in anything he says. At this point, there is no trust in this situation, and I know that predators deserve little to no sympathy.

But I just can't bring myself to immediately expose him and ruin his entire life before giving him a chance to get help. I'd like to think there is a good person in there somewhere, who is genuinely disgusted with himself, and begging for help. I know I'm having that thought because this person is all I've known the last five years, not because he manipulated me or kept me from having friends. And I'd like to think every moment wasn't completely faked.

Even with that being said, I am completely disgusted with this and angry that I've been thrown into a situation where I feel any remorse or sympathy for someone who thinks intimately of, minors. Any advice or opinion is appreciated and will be taken into consideration. This isn't a typical situation, so I hope most of you won't have any personal experience in this to give thorough advice, but I just need an idea of what to expect, what precautions I should take, and if I'm being completely crazy or not. And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says, all you've done is help a predator cover his tracks and learn to be more secretive about what he's doing.

You should have called the police. The remorseful facade he showed you was so you wouldn't turn him in. He has no plans to seek therapy because if he wants to continue doing this all, he has to do is dump you and he can do it in peace because you facilitated and watched him delete all the proof. All you've done is helped him get away with it. Another user says, if you are protecting a predator, then you are a predator. So think about that for a minute

and stop arguing with people in the comments. You are disgusting. Another user says, I would call the cops. It's not your job to fix this man or prevent his sward thoughts. It's not on you. This is on him.

He lied to you, four years. These are minors. I'm disgusted. You should call the cops. Absolutely. This has likely been going on for longer than five years. He needs more help than you can give him or force him to get. I'm sick from reading this. And then someone else says, call the cops, or you can get in trouble for helping him hide this. And another user says, Let me be clear. He is the absolute scum of the earth. He deserves none of your sympathy.

Predators do not change. They can only suppress. They do not deserve to breathe the air that this world provides. It sounds to me like you are fully aware of how terrible of a human he is, but you were just scared to admit that you didn't see these signs up until this point. No one is going to blame you unless you don't report him. By not reporting him, you are only choosing to save yourself embarrassment. Predators and R-wordists are the men around us we do not realize every day.

Somewhere, there is a little girl like me when I was younger who will thank you if you chose to do the right thing. If he's capable of those things, he's capable of much worse. Stay safe, please. And finally, another user says, Why are you risking him hurting other miners? You found illegal content involving miners on his computer. Report him. Or you are complicit in it.

He is a monster. He is not a good person. And then the OPE makes an edit to the original post and says, I'm understandably getting a lot of hateful comments. and all I ask is that you keep your criticism mindful. I hope you can all realize that the world isn't black and white. I've always felt that people aren't complete monsters simply for doing bad things, especially if they are remorseful and willing to improve themselves.

I'm sorry if you don't see the world the same way. And I'm sorry if this post is triggering to you. I've had traumatic experiences in the past with older men, and I am absolutely disgusted by the thought of predators existing. So this experience has been extremely mentally grueling for me, and I am very likely still in shock and denial and not making the best decisions. I do plan to seek therapy as soon as possible. And then the OPE makes another edit to the post, edit number two,

which says, I'm really shocked, though I shouldn't be, with the level of apathy from these comments. I realize none of you have been in my situation, nor will fully understand. So I'm sure it's easy for you to demonize me to make yourselves feel better. But if anything, I am a victim here. I was thrown into this situation against my will,

and now I have to make decisions that are going to be bad one way or another, no matter what I do. Making the decision to have the life of someone, you've known and loved for five years, completely ruined for something you could have never fathomed them doing is not easy. And I've only known the full scale of the issue for barely 24 hours. And reporting things to the police is not always successful. Look at all the stories out there or people trying to report predators and being ignored or

shamed for it. For those trying to convince me, I'm a criminal now for forcing a force. him to delete his stuff, I did what I thought was right in the moment. I didn't make him delete it to cover up as I didn't think it was necessary to immediately get the authorities involved. And his computer can still be scanned anyways, so I don't see why it matters. I did it because the thought of having that stuff in my house disgusted me, and I wanted to further shame him for ever having downloaded it in the first place and make sure he did not have access to it. The entire thing discussed me and the thought of being associated with someone who could even think of doing these things is mortifying.

It's also easy for people to say what I should and should not do when they aren't actually in my situation and don't have to deal with the life-altering ramifications. So please think before you comment and at least give me helpful information if you are going to give criticism. And I can't help but agree with the comments here. The OP does 100% needs to report their boyfriend to the authorities. The OP's boyfriend is a predator. No doubt about it. He is following thousands, thousands of accounts of minors and messaging some, and also has illegal content involving minors on his computer.

and who knows what other stuff he is hiding because he is 100% hiding more. I mean, I really do feel like this is the tip of the iceberg. The OP has stumbled across. But luckily, the OP, a day later, post an update and says, as of yesterday, I have contacted the authorities and made an official report, which I am super glad about that the OP kind of realized that the comments are right and that they do need to report this man to the authorities. But all right, let's get into the OPEs update.

The day before yesterday, I came to terms with the fact that, regardless of what I may personally think, my ex crossed a line and needs to face repercussions that are beyond my authority to give. I also realize that, even though I do truly believe that he is wanting to get help and do what he needs to be a better person, I could not live with the guilt

if he ever relapsed and repeated his actions, or worse. He needs to be constantly monitored and registered as an SO, and this cannot be done without me reporting it and cooperating with the authorities. When the authorities came the same day, I gave all the information I knew,

and he willingly gave up all of his electronic devices to be further invalid. investigated. The police said they would be able to scan his computer for any deleted files and would most likely be able to recover deleted accounts. The officer I spoke with seemed to understand of my initial reaction to the situation, though I'm not sure if there will be any consequences further into the investigation. He has come to terms with the fact that he will likely face jail time and life-long punishments for his actions, and he has

is not going to fight a guilty charge in court. I'm not quite sure what is all going to happen or how quickly. And I do not plan to make any further update posts. I will soon be deleting the current post, but if anyone who is in a similar situation or is simply curious would like an update on the court process or have any genuine questions, I will keep this account active in the meantime, so you are free to DM me. Anyone DMing me hate will be blocked. I wanted to give an update on the situation so that any concerned sparked from the original post can be put to rest. But even more importantly, anyone who has been or may ever be in this situation may not feel so alone in the process. I struggled to find helpful information or firsthand stories from people who have

been through what I'm going through. And it made it really difficult for me to process the situation realistically. I also felt extremely alone. I really appreciate the people who reached out to me, and even the people who gave genuine criticism and concern. There was a lot of hate and overall apathy in the comments. And it's really sad that there is so much toxicity on a subreddit that's meant to be helpful and supportive instead of judgmental. I guess my expectations were a little too high.

I greatly advise anyone else thinking of seeking genuine advice or support on the website, look anywhere else, especially if you are a sensitive person, as am I. Many of the people on here are insecure and incapable of looking at your situation with unclouded eyes and will give you bad or even harmful advice. I know it's obvious to not take anything too seriously on here, but not taking other people's words to heart can be very difficult. So be careful out there. And now let's get into some of the the top comments. Someone says, hi, I work in a field that investigates and assists in enforcement of illegal content involving minors and can shed a bit of light as to the severity of the situation

the OOP is actually in. The deletion of evidence, through shock or not, is the equivalent of hiding a murder weapon. For context, the importance of metadata, sequencing and file matching is extremely important. Not just to the prosecution of the single offender, the boyfriend in this instance, however, to the larger issue of tracking down minors that are being exploited and gathering information on who's actually performing these heinous acts of crime. These files, when deleted, and then subsequently recovered, can be changed from the original, making it harder to track and trace where it came from. It can and has broken investigations before. Intention, well-natured or not, is of prime importance in these investigations.

What this means for the OP is she will be subject to investigation as well, essentially under aiding and abetting, even if she eventually reported him. Whilst I'm sure she will be assistive in this with police, if there has been any previous attempts to cover for this behavior that can lead to charges laid independently outside of the main investigation. For anyone reading this, Minor exploitation is sadly so a multi-billion dollar industry

which destroys the lives of millions of miners each year. The people who view this material are criminals just as much as the scum who supply the content. Every single report helps, every shred of evidence helps, and the more awareness people have of these operations in plain sight the better. For anyone faced,

in the similar situation, remove your motion and call the authorities without touching or tampering with a single thing. Give the authorities the best chance possible to find these rings and prosecute them to the fullest extent of the law imaginable. Another user says, you literally covered up a horrific crime. Yes, people are going to shame you. I'm sure when you did it, you were panicking and thinking, what is the right thing to do? The right thing was to report which you did later. But the other right thing was not to aid him by deleting the files. Sometimes we make bad decisions. It's okay if we get told off for those decisions. It's okay to have made a bad decision. You realized later that you did and then went out of your way to correct it. That part is not

shameful. No need to rip on people who are pointing out the bad decision you made. They aren't toxic and are well within the gates of normal for feeling that way. I'm proud of you for going the distance and doing the right thing. It must have been really hard and awful. You are saving future victims. And then another user says, good on you for reporting him. He needs to go to jail for his actions. And I completely agree.

I hope the OP's boyfriend goes to jail for a long, long time. And unfortunately, we do not have an update to what happened to the OP or their boyfriend. We don't know whether the boyfriend was sentenced or how that entire court hearing process went. Or did he go to jail? Or how long did he go to jail for? Or what happened to the OP? We don't know because the OP never provided an update. But, man, what a horrific Reddit thread.

but yeah leave your guys's thoughts down below for months i was confused why i kept finding long hairs in my house then i saw my neighbor coming out of my house i'm a man in my mid-20s that lives alone on the very top floor of an apartment block i've had short hair for the last 10 years of my life the longest hair on my head is maybe an inch long if i'm a little bit of my head if you're that even. However, across my house, I kept finding long hairs on the floor, like long brunette hairs, at least five to six inches long, sometimes longer. And they would be everywhere, bathroom floor, in the shower, in my cup board, in my kitchen, on old clothes, living room floor, and sofas, et cetera, et cetera.

I've been single since November and clean, often enough that I'm certain that it's not my ex-girlfriend's hair. Plus, the color doesn't match anyways. She has solid black hair. These are more like a light brunette. Plus, I'm finding them in the places

like the shower, where running water is hitting all of the sides five plus times a week. Anyway, I waved it off as, well, I work with a lot of people and use the gym and bus sometimes, so naturally hairs are going to stick to my clothes? Well, one day, this past April, I finished my early AM gym session and got the call that I didn't have to go to work that day. So naturally, I start to walk home

all happy that I have the day to myself. I'm on the fifth floor, the uppermost floor, of the building and the apartment is in such a way that there is only one apartment per floor. I start to hustle up the stairs and don't use the elevator since I'm sweaty from the gym anyway. Just as I whip around to go up the last set of stairs from the fourth floor to the fifth floor, I see my neighbors on the third floor daughter coming down the stairs. We lock eye contact. We've never spoken before. Mostly because we've never had a reason to, but also because out of respect. I didn't want to make her uncomfortable since she's 19 to 21-ish and I'm slightly older.

The most interaction we've had is that I've spoken to her mother and father before when bumping into each other on the stairs. I gave a confused, hello? At this point, I'm thinking that she maybe went to knock on my door to ask for something. A cup of sugar, maybe? I don't know. I was expecting her to reply with something like, oh, hi, do you have any XYZ?

Nope. She gave a silent, hey, and brushed right past me. And only then when the smell of my own shampoo hit me, did I notice her hair was wet? Like, fresh out of the shower a minute ago wet. Now, I'm not saying she showered in my house. or that I have a stalker that's been living in my house while I've been at work. She very easily could have just been there to ask for something,

and maybe generic brand shampoos all smell the same. But don't the pieces all fit a bit too well? Her hair color matches the hairs I'd find around my apartment, and like I said before, they were everywhere in my bed into my sock drawer. and if it was the case of me having a stalker, how did she know I came home early enough to bolt out of the shower in time? Our apartment doesn't have cameras. It's an older building from before 2000, and why would she be stalking me?

For how long has she been doing this? We've never dated, never had a proper conversation. I maybe saw her 20 times in the past two years, given that I work and she presumably studies or works to, as all these thoughts are buzzing through my head and I'm standing outside my door for a solid two minutes grappling with what just happened, I go to turn the key to my door and it opens without me having to unlock it. And I know for a fact I always double lock my door. It's the type with a lock in your waist level and a second more secure lock with a different key around shoulder.

level, I drop my bag, throw off my shoes, and run to the shower. And yep, it's wet. I hadn't showered since yesterday morning. I'm a confrontational person. Not that I go looking for fights, but I'll definitely pursue an answer if something is bugging me. So back down the stairs to the third floor I went. Knocked on the door of my parent stalker, and her family. She opens the door, but with the chain still on. I see half of her face from behind the door. Yes, um, can I help? Were you at my door or inside? I don't want to make this a police thing now, but you came down the stairs and I know you were inside. I just had to get something. It won't happen again. Okay, bye. See you. Door closed. This happened last month.

I've been cleaning my house every weekend closely now and got the locks changed and put a motion sensor camera above my door. It only films and triggers on these steps coming up to my door so the fourth apartment still has their privacy. So far, so good. I don't think she's been inside since. But looking back, I think she's been living in or going in or whatever into my apartment since January,

because that's my earliest memory of finding hairs. She never took anything of value, like my laptop or the few watches I have. Seemingly, she just showered and ate some of my food and laid in my bed. I do now also always take the elevator and avoid the third floor like the plague. Edit, I'm not really worried about my safety

because, number one, I'm 200 pounds and do a lot of fighting training, and number two, the new camera has never gone off once since installed other than myself triggering it when I'm home. Finally, three. I told the old retired husband and wife on the fourth floor that I suspected a robber was trying to break into my apartment last month. I didn't want to start spreading rumors and gossip. I asked them to keep an ear out when I'm at work. I feel fine and safe, just creeped out like my personal space has been violated. Edit two, someone DM me to check my clothes and bags for air tags as to how maybe she knew I was coming home

early that day. I don't have a lot of stuff, so I think I would have 100% found it by now, given how often I clean, but I'll definitely do another sweep of my stuff. And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says, is it possible she had a set of keys from the prior owner of your apartment? Sometimes neighbors leave keys with each other. when they go away to water plants, feed animals, take mail in, etc. Or if you did change them when you moved in, did you ever lose your keys? Is there a window she could have gotten in through? However, she managed it.

She was probably using your place as her own personal getaway space away from her family. I can't believe she would have the guts to do that. And it's still super creepy to know someone invaded your privacy and was in your home on multiple occasions. and the O.P. replied saying, I moved in before her family, if I'm not mistaken. Like a year beforehand, so I doubt they'd have any leftover spare keys for my previous tenants, who I never even met.

It never occurred to me to change the locks when moving in, mostly because I live in a small town that has like one mugging a year. Low crime, so, you know, window is impossible. I'm on the fifth floor, and all my windows look out to the building, so unless she's Spider-Man, it's not happening. I'm 99% sure. Now following other comments, she went to a locksmith and maybe lied about ID or something

to get some illegal keys. Bad enough, she invaded my privacy, but she helped herself to everything in the house, like even my bed, seemingly. And then another user says, that's probably what time she always leaves. Imagine if you would have caught her in the shower. Wild.

And the OP responds saying, I go to gym like 6 a.m. to 8 a.m. and work 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.ish. So I was back home around 8.15 a.m.ish that day. If that's the case, then she was waking up at 5.30 and waiting for me to leave. But why go through so much creepy extra effort just to take a shower at some guy's house? And someone replies to the O.P. here saying, um how in the literal hell are you not demanding answers such as why are you in my home using my things eating my food laying in my bed and in my drawers and how the hell did you get in dude i don't get it i cannot believe you let this go i'd have had cops there immediately or at least demanded you speak to the parents you're way too casual about this Have you thought that since there are no air tags, you may have a camera in there that you don't know about? And the OP responded saying, I don't know.

If it's because of the power dynamic like thing, I'm not that stressed, in the sense that I'm older, bigger, stronger, etc. I know her parents. She probably knows little to nothing about me. I don't feel like I'm in danger at all, just weirded and creeped down. I'm quite disgusted and creeped out, especially actually actually actually. about the shower and bed and kitchen violation, but I just cleaned up everything with a lot of bleach and bend my sheets and towels.

Maybe it's a cultural thing or the way I'm raised. I don't want to make up a big stink when seemingly it's just a young lady with a clearly not a 100% mind. I'm still going to the police as recommended by everyone in this post and talking to her parents 100%. Also, I'm 100% sure there's no cameras. I've triple checked and my flat's not huge. And being a bachelor, I barely have a lot of furnishing,

so it's not like it can be hidden. And then the OP posted an update six days later. And let's get into it. Hi all, update following my last post a week back about me catching a neighbor coming out of my apartment, having used my shower. My cousin's husband is a police officer, so I went to him.

directly about filing a report. He came over to my apartment first as I gave him a visual breakdown of what happened on the stairs and changes odd things I'd noticed in my apartment since January. Primarily just hairs everywhere and missing food and how my door was unlocked that day. Though I did a thorough clean following the event on these stairs, my police front is able to still find some hairs and so he bagged those up. I gave him my statement in detail, and some dates best I could. When I remember finding the first hair, when I first noticed food going missing, etc.

Also, he advised me not to talk to the family, not even with a friend to avoid any confusion, or get lawyers involved, or muddy the waters with accusations. With all that done, he left and came back two to three days later. He and his partner went to talk to the family on Sunday because they knew both parents would likely be home then, Long story short, she confessed to everything immediately and broke down into tears and apologized once my police friend brought up how five months of entering someone's house, even with keys,

is still very much an offense and she could easily end up with a sentence of some should I pursue it. And that the sentence could very easily involve the inside of a jail cell, irregardless of if she stole something or not, I don't know how to. true this is, it might have just been my friend and his partner pressing and exaggerating for a confession, but it worked. They talked for an hour with my parents and her all in the same room to get answers from her. Then the same day, he came up to mine with his partner and they gave me the breakdown. Answers to commonly asked questions below. How did she get in slash have her own keys. The locks on our doors are the type that use a code on the lock barrel that only the

manufacturer or partnered slash approved locksmiths have access to. She knew this because her parents got the locks changed when they first knew in. And in fact, she used the same locksmith from all the way back then. The locksmith presumably remembered the family and apartment, but just didn't pay attention to it being the fifth floor this time instead of her own third floor. So we came over. So we came over and took the barrel out, saw the code, went and made a set of keys and done. I was none the wiser. Both my locks on my door are different brands, but presumably they operate in the same way, so having two locks made no difference. What was she doing in my apartment? Anyone who said she just needed space, you were right. She has two younger step-siblings,

and her mother is a tutor, not a teacher, as I presumed previously. She just, tutors at home. So at any given point, there's always some kids around the house. She would say to her parents she was going out to study or work or a girlfriend's house and use my house as a hotel while she studied or relaxed. The reason she used mine was partly because she knew it would be empty, but also because my schedule was predictable. As I work an average at 95, like everyone else, but leave the house at 6 to 6.630 to get to the gym, that essentially gave her the house from six to five. How long?

My guess was right. It started in January. Once she figured I'd broken up with my girlfriend at the time around November, my girlfriend would stamp mine when I went to work and back sometimes. So yeah, that would have been in an interesting situation if they had crossed paths. So then, how did she know I was coming home early that day? And that I wasn't going to work straight after Jim like usual. and so she bolted out of the shower

or on the days I didn't go to the gym how did she know not to come in? Twofold. Firstly, I go to a commercial gym in my country and so they have an app. Irregardless of if you're a member or not, one of the things the apps lets you see is how many people are in each branch

so you can see how full it is. All you have to do is download it and scan the QR code at the entrance by the turnstills to add it to my gym's tab. It literally shows you like branch number 21 address, 9 out of 50, 18% full. She would refresh the app in the morning

and if it went up by 1 around 6 to 6.30 and she heard me go downstairs or used the elevator, not hard when it's 6 a.m. and the apartment is otherwise silent, then she would know the house is empty. Now for the creepiest most messed up part of it all. She had put an air tag off. my car. She insisted that she had only put it recently and initially just presumably gambled that

I wouldn't be home sooner than expected, or maybe she just put an ear to the door. But then one thing led to another and, yeah, I don't know how much I believe this. Again, this could be an attempt to not look so guilty. That day when we clashed, she refreshed the app and saw I left the gym, but then my car didn't move. She connected the dots and tried to leave ASAP. When she heard me coming up the stairs, she didn't have time to lock up, and so we met on the stairs, with my door remaining closed but not locked. Extra detail, the air tag was stuck to under my car. The using my shower? She claims she didn't do it always just on hot days or days she couldn't at home. I can't deny or confirm this,

like I said previously, being a gym goer. I'd shower five plus times a week so. How did her parents never notice? Well, the dad leaves early for work. 5 a.m.ish since his bus route starts around 6. The mom is up around 6 to 7. But since she's preparing for her own students for the day, plus her own kids to send to school, she wasn't too bothered what her eldest 20-year-old daughter was doing really. She'd just say, I'm going to the college library or I'm going to my girlfriends, and that was good enough. Did she have a thing for me like a crush? My police friend didn't really say anything about this.

Presumably he never asked, since it's not as important as other details, or it never came back. It makes little difference. How's my standings with the family right now? The mom and dad both apologized to me. The mom via text and the dad in person at the door. He offered to pay for the camera I installed that as his daughter was the direct cause of it,

but it was cheap off Amazon, so I said no, it's fine. We had a 10 to 15 minute conversation and he was very apologetic and explained his daughter had always been extremely quiet and well behaved, so something like this would never have crossed his mind in a million years. He added that his daughters never really had a boyfriend, at least that he knows of, and only has a few friends, so her social interaction skills aren't necessarily top-notch, and that even when guests would come over, she'd hide away in the spare room. So to the few people who predicted it maybe

Pid the pandemic and lockdown led to her not having good social interaction skills, you were half right. He again offered me money for my troubles like missing food, new locks and cleaning, etc. But I felt bad enough, so I declined. He did also ask if I would press charges and I again said no.

More on that below. He said he will send his daughter to apologize to me in person too when the situation has calmed down as she's apparently very, very tense and upset and hasn't left her room in days. Am I going to press charges? No. I'm still not happy about the situation,

especially the air tag on my car. But the family is apologetic as well as the culprit herself. And honestly, no one is going to gain anything from this. I would like an apology, though. For anyone that cares about the extra detail, she got the air tag as a gift a while back from her parents because she kept losing her stuff. Have I seen her since? No. She won't apparently leave her room and is terrified that I'll press charges, though presumably her families told her, I said I won't. How do I currently feel? Well, I was never

especially worried or nervous, just really, really creeped out about the whole situation. It felt like I'd been a parasite host and somehow never noticed until then. I currently still feel a little angry and a small part of me is thinking to seek revenge, but any revenge I seek like money or slander is truthfully going to impact the parents more than her. Do I feel bad for her? Truthfully, no. She's not a kid. She's 20 or something and educated.

So yeah, you should be remorseful, feel guilty and scared. Get over that hump and we'll talk. Plus, there's loads of space for young adults like public libraries in her college spaces. By no means, was my house the only viable option? Finally, did she use my bed or wear my clothes? Believe it or not, yes, she did. Any advice I can give? Check your Wi-Fi devices.

If I checked that, I would have known. noticed her phone and laptop all the way back then. Obviously, my Wi-Fi modem is in my house and so she had helped herself to that. Again, it's one of those things. How often does one check their Wi-Fi devices? Truthfully, with all my family visiting me and their devices, I probably wouldn't have noticed one extra phone amongst the existing 10-plus, but I 100% would have noticed the one extra laptop. So let that be a lesson T-wall. And yes, I have removed her devices from the list

and changed the password. And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says, wow, this is so much worse than I imagined when reading your first post. And someone replies saying, I tell the parents that I will press charges unless she gets therapy and either joins a club or activity with other people or gets a job.

If the parents could hire someone to take her out to experience and see things, learn to interact with others, kind of a social tutor, she could really benefit from that. And someone else says, Yikes, this is insane behavior. I know you're in the same building,

but maybe a restraining order? She went through a lot of trouble to be in your place. duplicating keys and locks, timing your arrival slash departure, air tag on your car, using your place, wearing your clothes, stealing your food. This girl is not okay. You need to protect yourself, even if you don't press charges. Someone else says, even with all the apologizing and all of that, I just don't understand.

how are you not more upset about this? Like you said, this isn't a teenager. This is a 20-something-year-old grown woman that was breaking into your house daily and using all of your stuff, including your clothes? Hell no. This is not only extremely strange, it's scary. I would want to teach her a lesson.

What if she does this to someone else and it's more extreme next time? I can't imagine the type of person that would even begin to think that this is okay at any level for any reason. There are obvious mental issues here, and I'd be afraid that the next guy might not be so lucky. This isn't just some innocent thing. She wasn't just sitting on your couch studying. She was literally using your house like her own apartment. Using your shower and wearing your clothes?

That is stalker behavior. I don't think you should let this go. Of course, that's just my opinion, but she's old enough to have known better than this, and she deserves some real consequences. This was going on for literal months. As bad as you say, you feel for her, how bad will you feel if you find out that she hurt someone next time? And the OP replies saying, I don't feel bad for her.

I feel bad for her family. I don't think she's a threat to anyone at this point. her parents will most likely have her on a very tight leash from now on. 100%, there's mental issues at play here. That combined with her not really stealing anything or doing me any major harm makes me not so mad and vengeful. I'm not trying to be all macho. I just don't think the legal process is worth the effort.

If anything happens again, her name is on file and the police have her noted down as someone who's commons. admitting, breaking, and entering. I suspect it. As much a toothpick goes missing somewhere and is reported, she will be a suspect. And I mean, I have to agree with the commenters here. The O.P. is being so damn relaxed about all of this.

He's like, mistakes happen. This is not a mistakes happened sort of thing. This is psychotic behavior. This woman was breaking into this guy's apartment daily, using his clothes, laying in his bed, taking a shower and his shower, tracking him everywhere he went. This woman is psycho, and she wouldn't 100% do this to someone else. I mean, she didn't really learn any sort of lesson.

I mean, like, she didn't get any sort of repercussions. I just think this is just a genuinely insane, like scenario and the OP is like so relaxed about this. I mean if someone was breaking into my apartment sleeping in my bed wearing my clothes and taking a shower in my shower and I found out they were also living in my building I would be freaked the fuck out like anybody would I mean I'm sure you guys would as well but um yeah this was just a wild wild thread and um I'm curious to hear what you guys think. Would you be as chill as the OP? Or would you report her to the police and possibly press charges or try to get arrested? I'm really curious to hear what you guys have to say.

Woman finds hidden cameras pointing at the bed in her home. I'm posting from a new account because he knows my other one. I female 21 have been dating my boyfriend, M27, for two years. We met while I was working at a hospital, and he was resident at the time finishing up. I do want to perface this by saying he didn't know my age when we first met. I'm ahead in school, so when we met, he assumed my age because I was a senior at the time. I know sometimes people don't like the age gap. Anyways, we moved in together a year after dating and have been that way since. He offered after constantly hearing me complain of dorms being loud,

and I was very grateful. Last night, he was working in night shift, so I was deep cleaning the place and packing some things since we're moving for his work soon. So it's not like I was snooping. While cleaning up, I found a couple of weird things. I always knew there was security cameras in the house in places like the living room and kitchen for safety,

but I found some in places in the bedroom. Two were even pointed directly to the bed. I tore apart the place after, and I found a few more in places like the closet and bathroom I didn't know about. I feel so sick because I can't think of any reason to have these besides to spy on me when I'm home. I waited for him to get home and immediately brought it to his attention, and he said it was for security. That there was no way one was facing the bed because he would never put them there. He said he has them in the bedroom in case of a break-in for insurance purposes. But I swear when I found it, that's exactly where it was facing.

I don't know what to do. I feel so uncomfortable, but I guess his excuse makes sense. Has anyone else had a similar situation and what did you do? And before we get into the top comments, the OPE makes a quick update to the post, saying this couldn't have possibly taken a worse turn. When I got back home, he was dozed off on the couch, and his Apple Watch was on the counter. I decided to go through it to try and find something, and there's a group chat with him and a bunch of our male co-workers at the hospital. I ended up grabbing his phone to be able to read it better.

A bunch of the guys from the hospital are in this group chat. They all post things about their girlfriends, wives, hookups, including pictures and videos. I saw a video of us in there. and I'm so sick. I'm mad. These are men I work with and who would potentially be over me after medical school.

They've been my mentors during the whole process and they've seen that. I don't even know where to go from here. He woke up while I was reading the messages before I could get everything read. He lost it and broke the door

to the bathroom I was sitting in. I've never seen him act like that. He realized I was terrified and completely changed to comforting and loving and apologizing. I recognize some of those girls that also worked there. I don't know what to do. What to say or where to go.

We live together. How could he send that stuff to them? Knowing we work in the same hospital. They saw me in the shower, in bed, in bed with him. I'm just so lost. I can't go back to work after finding that. He's begging me not to say anything in that he'll do whatever for me to trust him again, but I can't. He even pulled out the ring that he said he planned to propose to me with during all of this.

I don't know what to do. Those women probably don't know they are in this group chat. I'm scared of retaliation of work with the other men. I'm just lost. And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says, you need to report him and his group to HR and the police. Make a copy of as much as you can safely can. Figure out a safe place to move to, and once you are safely away from him, report them all.

Someone else says, this is an abusive relationship. I would send myself screenshots of their texts and or videos. Contact the police immediately. And the OP actually responds to this and says, I can't. He took the phone out of my hand after coming into the bathroom. I don't have any proof besides one photo I was able to get in the altercation and it's blurry. I don't know what to do at this point. I'm still here just in shock while he cools down in the other room. And another user says, girl, first of all, that's illegal. There is nothing that makes sense about having cameras in the

closet or bathroom, taking videos and pictures of y'all having intimacy. And and then distributing them? No way. That's where you draw the line. You have to report him and all of his friends because the other girls in those videos and pictures don't even know what is going on behind their backs. As for him pulling out the ring, he's trying to manipulate you into stain

and not reporting any of it. He is definitely in the wrong and should be jailed for this. Please be careful because, as you have said, he offered you to move in with him. He's significantly older and he's well. off. Come up with a plan. I know it might all be too much right now, but he is probably coming up with the plan too on how to handle the situation if you decide to stay or leave him. Staying with him isn't even an option because you will always wonder if there are cameras watching you in your

own house or while taking a shower. He is going to resent you for going through his phone and he will never trust you, and neither will you trust him. All these other men, your mentors have seen these videos, and as much as it is unfortunate, the damages has been done. What you do is from now on is what matters. They broke the law and SAGU and other women. There is nothing to take into consideration here. And the OPE responds and says,

I know there's nothing to take into consideration. I'm not staying with him. I'm just overwhelmed and embarrassed. I don't know how long this has been happening and I trusted him. He's literally never shown signs of the kind of man to do this. And then we don't get an update for a few days later, but finally, the OP posts again and let's get into the update. The OP says,

So the past few days have been really hard. I'm officially moved out of the house we shared and got my own studio. I contacted a lawyer, and they advised me not to go to AHR yet at the hospital since they would try to cover it up to save face. He said it would be really messy for myself and would definitely put an image of myself out there and make me a target, and that I need to think long and hard. He said there are grounds for a lawsuit, and even if they deleted the material, it wouldn't matter because it could be found in an investigation. but that I have to be okay with that material being shown to a bunch of people, and I have to be okay with losing some friends and respect from others. I'm not really sure where to go from here because I wasn't expecting him to say that.

I contacted the two women who I recognized, and they are staying with their husband and boyfriend. They are not reporting. I've gotten multiple things left at my door telling me not to report, and it's not worth what will come from it from who I assume is the women. I'm just at a loss. I don't know what to do. My boyfriend keeps trying to contact me. He constantly has things delivered to my new place,

and I don't even know how he knows where that is. It's nothing bad, flowers, food, and other things. He keeps saying sorry. I've never felt so confused on who to trust and what to do. I know I'm just babbling to a bunch of strangers, but I haven't told anyone else. My parents would probably go to jail for murder if they found out what he did. And I don't want to tell my friends that this seemingly perfect relationship turned to this. I'm just so embarrassed.

And now let's get into some of the top comments. One user says, you need to tell your support base. Tell your parents that you're afraid of them overreacting, but you need to trust that they will put your well-being ahead of revenge. And you should absolutely tell your friends. They will be just as shocked, but if they're actual friends, they will be horrified, shocked, and angry on your behalf while also supporting you. You are a victim and deserve to have justice.

You are now a victim of stalking, and so you need to start looking into how to protect yourself in this situation. I would echo the advice of getting a second opinion from a different lawyer, but I would like to say those videos are already potentially public. As soon as they were created and he sent them, there was the possibility of them being posted online. Your dignity and pride exists no matter which route you pursue. You didn't have a choice.

He took it away from you and is still continuing to do so. I would personally pursue the lawsuit, but you have to do what's going to be best for yourself. Don't rush into anything that doesn't have an immediate time limit. And someone responds saying, please, O.P., this. There are a lot of bad people who benefits from trying to browbeat you down here. You're a terrible ex, his coworkers, and more. If you don't let your friends and family in, they will overwhelm you. You deserve justice.

Please find a lawyer versed in S harassment to help you. This is not right and you will be vindicated if you go through with this. None of this is your fault or reflects badly on you. I'm so, so sorry you're going through all of this. And someone else says, I'm worried for your safety

only because it hasn't been publicly outed on a large scale. Too many people don't know what those men do behind closed doors. You could be saving someone else from going through what you went through by speaking up and giving others a chance to ditch evidence. Good luck, and I'm glad you're not being spied on anymore.

And then someone else says, you only talk to two of the women. How many more were on there? How many more will there be if you don't come forward? You deserve justice for this. I imagine it will be an ugly fight. If you choose to say something, I'm sorry this is happening to you.

And then the OP posts a final update a few days later. And let's get into it. I just want to say thank you to the many people and lawyers who reached out to me in regards to my previous post. And I'm sorry for the very late update. I've been in therapy and working with lawyers to resolve these issues. I was able to get the proof I needed for filing police reports, but I decided not to do it. We worked an agreement out where I'm financially set up. for a long time from the group of men as a whole.

My medical school is paid for. I'm being given a very nice living stipend monthly. And a few other things my lawyer was able to push for that will help me a lot in the future, including a new job placement. This is all being done privately. I know this may disappoint many of you because you want to me to raise hell and fight for women,

but mentally I couldn't handle pressing charges or having the things shown that I know are recorded. There are things in our agreement to protect me in my privacy, and if any video is seen again, then it voids everything in the agreement, and then I'll press charges and go to the police. All of their wives and partners know now, none of them wanted to go forward,

which really swayed how I went about it. I wasn't only going to fight against them, but their spouses, and I didn't want to ruin their children's lives by their moms and dads videos in business, possibly being outed to the world in a nasty courtroom. They shouldn't be punished for their dad's decisions. That's really it for the update, though.

I'm okay with what has been done, and I can go forward with my career goals without worry of a reputation that wrongly would have been there. My husband is cheating on me with his brother. English isn't my first language, so sorry for any mistakes. Obviously, this is a throwaway. Okay, so this sounds crazy. And I know it, but let me explain.

The last 24 hours or so have been pure hell for me, and I'm tired, and I cry constantly. As a background, we've been married for five years. together for eight, been in an open relationship for three years. We are both by, intimate, and more than happy that we can explore the side of him with other men, as I'm able to do the same with women. We have rules, though. We've agreed that we're going to tell each other when we get intimate with other people. So my husband has an older brother, Marcus, who turned 32 during my absence. They were planning on celebrating together and having fun, i.e. drinking, which was fine for me. I wished them a happy time and hoped they'd have fun. To the story, a week ago, I drove several hours

to see my sick mother to court's Rick. I left my husband home as he's working from home and couldn't come with me. Also, my mother dislikes him, as he's a foreigner. I texted Marcus to wish him a happy birthday, and he didn't reply. I thought he was out drinking and didn't think much of it. But I came back a day earlier. Yesterday, then, was planned, and I was going to surprise my husband. I entered our house and heard noises, intimate noises. I was confused because my husband hadn't told me that he was going to see someone. I kind of brushed it off, thinking it was just him, jerking it, or watching adult videos. All good. 20 to 30 minutes later, my husband comes downstairs, sees me, and goes pale. I mean, white as a ghost. I mean, white as a ghost.

He stares at me, stammer's and looks guilty. At that point, I'm like, okay, there's something up. Not two minutes later, his brother comes downstairs and he has a hickie, well, several, on his neck. He greets me, stiffly, says that he has to run back home to his girlfriend. My husband doesn't acknowledge Marcus leaving, when they usually hug and linger. They're very close. Have always been. Ever since I met my husband about 10 years ago.

What was that about? I asked my husband. He's very evasive, dodges the question, and says that they had a row. I press on the matter, asking what they fought about. Nothing, he tells me. Now irritated.

I kept pressing and pressing. He finally relent, saying that Marcus cheated on his girlfriend and that the woman he was, cheated with escaped via window. We have a one-story house, so kind of plausible, when they heard my car. I was suspicious, but I assumed that he was lying about the car thing, and he'd seen, slash, heard me in the house, and alerted his brother and his mistress. Marcus, cheating on his girlfriend, is not fine with me. His girlfriend is my friend, too, and she's amazing, working the

front lines of this horrible pandemic. My husband tells me he has to do some work and that he has a client, which was actually true, so he wasn't lying about that. I was still a bit weirded out by the whole thing. Marcus lives alone, so why was he hooking up with some random woman in our home? Later last night, I felt like something is off. Normally, my husband would be very excited that I'm home. and every time I've been somewhere, he's been very romantic and initiated intimacy.

Now, nothing. He's very reserved, quiet, and nervous. When my husband takes a shower, I went after him to wash my face and notice that he, he too, has hickies on his chest that he tried to cover up when he saw me. I feel sick to my stomach and decided to go through his phone. Yeah, I know, I shouldn't have done that. I was 100% sure he had a guy over two. I'm still reading the conversations between him and his brother

when my husband comes from shower. The conversations are explicit. The reality hit me like a ton of bricks. I asked my husband, what's going on? And why is he flirting with Marcus? He tells me it was a joke, just joking between brothers, and it sometimes goes too far.

I didn't buy it. I went to sleep because I was exhausted from the trip. I was woken in the middle of the night by my husband crying his eyes out in our living room. So I went to ask what was wrong, and he told me everything. How he has an on and off relationship with his brother. They started having intimacy over 10 years ago. First, it was just mutual jerking it, and then it just escalated into full-blown intimacy.

He says it was because of their religious upbringing and that he knew nothing about intimacy until they started dating. My husband or Marcus are not in contact with their parents. They had a falling out about six years ago. And I was told it was because Marcus was dating a POC back then. Well, now I'm thinking they got caught and that's why their parents disown them.

Now, I haven't slept since that night, and I don't know what to do. I can't look at my husband, and I don't know if I should tell Marcus's girlfriend about all of this or what. I want to leave my husband, but at the same time, I don't. Should I contact their parents and ask, what really happened six years ago? Is this something a therapist could handle? Is our relationship solvable? Cheating is not something I'd break up over, but I can't shake the slimy feeling I have. my husband had intimacy with his brother.

And yes, they have the same parents, so they're not stepbrothers or anything. Of course, I've been thinking about the relationship my husband and Marcus had when they were younger. Like I said, they have always been very, very close. But I should have seen the red flags. I should have known. Something weird happened just before we started dating,

and now I'm thinking it wasn't as innocent as it seemed back then. I'm lost, I'm confused, I don't know what to do. I can't talk about this to my friends or my parents. I'm starting to think about committing S word so I wouldn't feel this way. And then the OP post an update in the comments saying, number one, I'm making one small update now and I'll return sometime tomorrow. A few things has happened now.

I asked Marcus's girlfriend to, come and see me later today. It's nearly 1 a.m. here currently. She agreed and said, I think I know what's going on. Number three, my husband said he's not coming home. He tells me he's not at a friend's house, but I know he's not there because I contacted said friend. I'm assuming he's at Marcus's place. I'll contact a therapist first thing Monday. I've written an email and I'll send it early Monday morning. My husband told me a bit more, but he claims it all started from him. I don't believe it. I think he's lying to protect his brother. Mark has left me a voicemail saying that he can explain the situation. He did explain it, telling that it was one this time only.

But he didn't know that my husband had already told me that it has been going on for 10 years. It all started when my husband had just turned as a teenager and came out as by. I feel very sad and angry. I almost drove to Marcus's house because I wanted to yell at him. him. For those claiming my husband is gay, it's not true. He came out before anything intimate happened with Marcus. I texted their parents and said, I wanted to talk with them and said that something bad happened, but their boys are all right. I'm not all right. I asked a friend to come to her house an hour ago, and I showed this post to her. She's very angry and says that we have to get my husband to therapy like some of you, kind souls told me. Thank you, everyone.

I'll answer you to your comments when I've rested. I need sleep and food. And then one of the top comments on this post, someone says, so your husband was a middle teenager, and his brother was over 20? That is a huge red flag. 20-somethings are not supposed to have intimacy

with young teenagers. No way in hell. And you slash your husband is sure. It has always been consent. in the OP response saying, I didn't even think about this. I don't know what to think anymore. I agree that the age gap is a huge issue.

Well, I think I have to talk with my husband when he comes back to town. I don't know where he is. I'm assuming at Marcus's apartment. And then someone asks the OP if they have kids with their husband. And the OP says, we don't have kids, thankfully. I feel stupid for being the most hurt about the line. I still am not sure if I should tell Marcus's girlfriend. And then we don't get an update for a long time.

About two and a half months, but two and a half months later, we get an updates and let's get into it. First of all, thank you for everyone for your comments. Second time, sorry this took so long. I've been extremely depressed lately. Unable to even go to work. I was laid off due to the pandemic. although I know it's because of this situation.

Late July, after I posted my original post, I contacted a therapist and got a treatment for my husband. I decided not to file for divorce. I also told Marcus's girlfriend, what had happened? She knew already, which was such a betrayal, in my opinion. We are no longer friends and I haven't seen Marcus since July. Unfortunately, in the middle of August, my husband committed S word.

I'm writing this, depressed, lonely, and so angry. Law is clear on situations like this. Consensual sibling love is okay, so there's nothing I can do anymore. My husband died and his secrets and the truth died with him. There's no evidence that Marcus ever R-worded him. even though that is what my husband told me, he didn't get a chance to tell his therapist. I'm alone.

So alone. All my friends have left me because they think this was somehow my fault. My husband's parents are not happy. I wrote in my previous post that I was thinking my husband and Marcus got caught. They did. Their parents told me as much. I don't know what else to say. Thank you for the kind words and support.

support I got, I wish things had gone differently. And now let's get into some of the comments. Someone says, holy shit, O.P. I am so, so sorry. I cannot begin to imagine what you're going through. Please continue to seek therapy if you're not already. You shouldn't have to try to handle this trauma on your own. And another user says, Jesus, what a tragic ending. Such a Young boy, committing S-word. He had so much life ahead of him. Holy. That is so tragic and sad.

This whole situation is over everyone's head. You need help. I'm very sorry about this. Marcus and your husband had some secrets that won't see a daylight anymore. This is so creepy, tragic, and sad. I am very sorry. And then the... the OP posts and update three years later, which is titled, Hello Everyone, Longtime No See.

July 2020, seems so far away now after everything. August 2020 is when my husband unfortunately decided to commit S word. October 2020 is when I last wrote an update. It's been well over three years now, but after all this time, the grief remains. I miss my husband dearly, and I'm devastated that he isn't here anymore. I've now moved far away from everyone. I'm living in a different country now. I am happy, I guess. Things could be worse.

I'd like to thank everyone who contributed to my initial post. I'm now in a better place for sure. but I still miss my husband every day. His smile, his laughter, his kindness. A lot has happened after my last post, mainly Marcus is now dead too.

He was drunk, went for a drive, and crashed. I was and I am sort of happy about that, even though I guess I shouldn't. Anyway, I will never return to this account. Therapy has helped me, but not enough.

I'm scarred by what happened, and I'd like to spend the rest of my life away from this horrid thing. When I die, I'll be able to see my husband again. I hope he's waiting for me on the other side. Once again, thank you, everyone. It's time to finally move forward. My boyfriend destroyed my deceased grandmother's jewelry box, and I think I deserved it. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. There have been a few problems when he's blown up on me over the smallest things.

Usually he gets angry and makes it everyone in the house's problem. When I finally stood up for myself, he hurt me in one of the most painful ways possible. I don't know if I should forgive him or if the blame is on me. My grandmother died of lung cancer when I was 12. She was the toughest and most hilarious little old lady, and I miss her every day. Everything my grandmother intended to give us after she passed was taken by one of her sisters before we could get to her house. By the time my mom was finally able to get there, very little remained. Among the few items left was a beautiful white jewelry box that could sit on a counter.

My mother gave it to me after seeing how drawn I was to it. That jewelry box was the only thing I had left of my grandmother. When I moved out of state to live with my dad as a teenager, it was one of the few things I refused to leave behind. A couple of days ago, I wanted to get my hair done but was indecisive, so I asked my boyfriend what he thought. I gave him a couple of color choices I was considering, jet black or a random shade of red. He told me he preferred black over red. I took his thoughts into consideration, but ultimately decided to go with red. As soon as he saw me earlier today after my appointment, he was furious, saying I never listened to him and that he was so repulsed by me, he couldn't even sleep with me until I changed it.

He called me several expletives. I decided to go lie down and rest before my shift that night. Ignoring him didn't diffuse the situation at all. He started grabbing everything that was mine from our shared bedroom and throwing it down the hallway. He kept saying I was in the way and told me to get up and sleep on the couch. He's done this several times before. And every time he waits until I break down and apologize before I'm allowed to move my things back into our room. This can last anywhere from a few hours to a few weeks.

However long it lasts. He makes sure my life is living healthy the entire time, yelling at me, belittling me, and telling me to let a terrible person I am. This time I was over it. I was too exhausted to play his game. So I just laid in bed, trying to drown out the vile things spewing from his mouth. When he saw he wasn't getting a reaction,

he started breaking things and tearing up my drawings. Before destroying each item, he kept saying all I had to do was get my things out of his room and get my ugly ass out. When I still refused, he grabbed my jewelry box and held it over his head. As soon as I realized what he was about to do, I became frantic. I started sobbing and begging him to stop.

I was so loud that his mom heard me from her bedroom on the other side of the house and came to see what was going on. She tried to reason with him, but he was enraged. He just kept shouting, get the F out now. After about 30 seconds of chaos, he slammed my jewelry box onto the floor. I was speechless. I began to sob, but no sound came out. His mom looked at me and told me to go sleep in her room and lock the door.

As soon as I left, I heard her unleashing on him. I am positive I heard her slap him hard. I just took my blanket and did as I was told. Eventually, I managed to fall asleep. When I woke up, both my boyfriend and his mom were gone. I didn't have time to question it because I had to go to work. I'm currently on my lunch break and still haven't heard from either of them. I guess I'll have to figure out what's going on when I get off tomorrow morning.

I think it might be my fault he broke it because all I had to do was get out of the room. My stubbornness destroyed one of my most treasured possessions. I feel like an idiot and I don't even know if there's a way to repair it. I'm just so heartbroken and I needed to vent. And now let's get into some of the top comment. Someone says, after how long hearing him pull the same shit over and over again. Why did she decide now was the time to say, hey, I did a bad job raising my son and should try and fix the thing he's become, and not the first time he threw all Opie stuff

in the hallway. And then the Opie respond saying, my boyfriend is a forced to be reckoned with, especially when he is angry. His eyes change color to black when he reaches a certain point. He has this mentality because no one is going to stand in his way to get what he wants. She keeps kicking him out, but she always lets him back in. Another person says, This is one of the times I wish it was a story. Get the F out now. Seriously, just leave.

Period. End a story and get a restraining order. Another user says, What flowers would you like at your funeral? Do you want a close casket or an open casket? Would you rather be cremated? Who's going to give the ULGA your funeral? If you don't leave, those are the decisions.

people are going to be making within the next year. He's abusive and he's going to kill you in the future if you don't leave. And another user says, this is not a man you want to be around. He sounds controlling, unhinged, anger issues, so many red flags. A real man can give you his preference, but except when he change your mind without losing his marbles like this. And then the OPE post an update two days later. And let's get into the update.

This is an update to a post I made a couple of days ago. After I got off of my shift that morning, my boyfriend was sitting on the front porch waiting for me. As soon as I opened the door and got out, he approached me and kept telling me how sorry he was. I was still angry and hurt, so I didn't say much. When I walked inside, he led me to our room. It was spotless.

the cleanest I think I've ever seen it. He showed me that he had tried to put the jewelry box back together. I know he did his best, but there were still pieces missing, and the glass from the doors was shattered. I just looked at him and said, thank you. I didn't complain or say anything else because I knew what would happen if I did. Apparently, though, I wasn't enthusiastic enough because he got annoyed almost immediately.

He started calling me ungrateful. I told him that he couldn't undo what he did, and that's when he became irate. His mom was at work, so I didn't really have any backup. But his little sister was home. After he started yelling, he grabbed my jewelry box again and took it outside, shouting that I was ungrateful and didn't deserve him. His little sister heard us yelling and followed me outside. We both watched as he threw the jewelry box onto the concrete,

smashing it worse than before, and then picked up several pieces and put them in his pocket. I started crying again and fell to my knees beside the remnants. His little sister came over to comfort me and told me that she loves me more than she loves him, that her big brother was really mean. I told him that, I loved her too, but she shouldn't say things like that,

especially while he could still be listening. She nodded and helped me pick up, up the shards of wood and glass. I told him I wanted to leave. At first, he called my bluff and said, fine, leave then. But when I texted my dad that I needed him to come home and get me

and he realized what I'd done, he lost it. He started crying uncontrollably, took my phone, and texted my dad back, pretending to be me saying it was all misunderstanding that everything was okay and that we'd worked it out.

After that, he spent probably four hours talking to me, telling me he was going to be better, that he was sorry, but also pointing out all the things I do that are wrong or bad. I think tonight was the first time I really looked at him and knew that this is going to be over. I don't know when or how yet, but I know this is not going to be the rest of my life. And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says, with all due respect, what are you waiting for? And the OP, respond saying, for a long time I would have said because I love him. Now I'm just scared. My dog is pregnant and he's already threatened hurting her if I did something. I don't want to leave

her and her babies with him. Also, he said he would kill me if I ever left or cheated on him during our arguments. And someone else says, good grief, you need to leave. Take the advice above. call your dad and tell him to come for you and to ignore any messages saying otherwise. Your boyfriend is violent and abusive. Next time it could be you. Smashed up on the pavement. Please leave ASAP for your safety. And then we don't get an update from the OP for a long time.

About six months, but six months later, the OP comes back with an update and let's get into it. The post is titled, Two Days Before I Left, I thought he was going to kill me. This is another update about my ex-breaking my grandmother's jewelry box and what happened after that. I cannot explain how uplifting it was to see all of the responses to my situation.

Sorry if it is a little scattered. Thinking about what happened and writing it down made me truly realize how much danger I was in with him. One thing that is really hard for me to admit, is that I did get out once and then I went right back. After he took my phone and pretended to text my dad back,

like I was the one saying everything was okay, I eventually did manage to get a hold of my dad for real. He came with the police and got me out of there. And then that same night, my ex showed up at my dad's house and I got in the truck with him and went back. I know how stupid that sounds. I know people reading this

will probably be frustrated with me. I get frustrated with myself to, But when you're in something like that for long enough, your brain gets completely twisted up. I really thought that if you love somebody enough, you stayed and fought through the bad parts. I thought maybe all real relationships were ugly sometimes, and I was just too weak to handle it. I also thought I would never find another person who understood me the way he did, and that mattered a lot to me back then. A big reason I went back was Snowball, my dog. She was very pregnant, and I could not leave her there.

About a week after I came back, she gave birth to six white puppies. After that, my whole life was just taking care of her, taking care of the puppies and trying to make it through each day without falling apart. There was also something else that happened that made everything so much more volatile. One of my mom's friends was staying with us for a while. One night, we had all been drinking, and me and that man went out back to get wood for a fire. When we got a little way into the trees, he turned his phone flashlight off and kissed me. I did not kiss him back, but I also didn't stop it instantly.

It was maybe a second or two before I told him to stop. What I didn't know was that my ex was somewhere out behind us in the dark. I don't think he could actually see it, but he definitely heard enough to know what had happened. From that point, everything got even worse, and I mean way worse. It was already bad before, but after that, it felt like I was living in hell. There was no peace at all. Everything felt angry. Everything felt dangerous.

It was like whatever little bit of mercy he had left for me was gone. After Snowball had weaned the puppies, me and my ex gone to a huge fight one night. The next morning, he was trying to act nice and make me breakfast. I told him I appreciated him trying to do something nice for me, but I just couldn't eat eggs like that. That was all it took. He bawled his fists, stormed outside, and then came back in just a few minutes later looking pale. He told me Snowball had crawled underneath the truck and died. There was no blood, nothing obvious. She was just dead. I still do not know what happened, and I'm not going to sit here and say something as a fact that I cannot prove, but part of me

will always wonder if he did something to her. I don't know. I probably never will. I just know losing her like that destroyed me. She was the last tie holding me to that place. Two days before I finally left, we were standing in his mom's garden at night after we had both smoked. Weirdly enough, it had actually been one of the first good days we had in a really long time. We had been talking all night. He kept telling me how much he loved me and how when I got back from visiting my family, everything was going to be better.

He said, we are going to get our own place. He said things were going to be amazing. And I wanted to believe him. I really did. We were just standing there hugging and then all of a sudden he started squeezing me tighter and tighter. His

breathing changed. It sounded rough and forced. I don't know how else to explain it, except that this feeling of dread just rushed through my whole body at once. The only thing I could think of was he is going to kill me. I started crying,

not just tearing up, like literally sobbing. He asked me why I was crying, and when I told him, he laughed in my face. I think about that moment all the time. Part of me feels like maybe subconsciously I could feel what he was thinking,

or maybe I was just so used to being threatened and scared that my body panicked before my mind caught up. I don't know. I just know that I haven't forgotten that feeling, and I don't think I ever will. There was a family event a couple states away for one of my siblings coming up. He had known for months that I was going, and he did not want me to go. But by that point, I had kind of hit my limit. I told him I was going whether he liked it or not. After I rejected his pleas for me to stay, he drove me to the Greyhound Station himself. The last time I ever saw him in person. He was sitting in the front seats high out of his mind on drugs,

practically drooling and laughing at himself. After I got away, the call started. At first, it was just constant manipulation. He would call over and over and keep me on the phone for hours, trying to make me feel guilty, trying to confuse myself, trying to wear me down until I gave in. Once I stopped listening and stopped letting him pull me back in, it got more aggressive. So I blocked them. Then he started calling me from other people's phones. I had to block his little sister's phone because he took it and started doing the same thing from there. Then I had to block other family members too because he kept using their phones.

That is one of the hardest things to explain to people who have never been through something like this. Leaving is not always just one big brave moment and then it's over. Sometimes you leave and go back. Sometimes you leave and get manipulated for weeks and months after. Sometimes you are physically gone but still scared all the time. Sometimes you keep looking over your shoulder even when you know you're safe. But I'm safe now. I'm with my family.

My dad made it very clear that if he ever comes onto this property, he will regret it. One of my ex's cousins even brought me the puppy I'd picked from Snowball's litter, meeting halfway, so she could be with me and away from him.

So even though I'm still scared sometimes, even though I still panic when I see a vehicle that looks like his, even though I still freeze up, my story does not end with him. I got out, I'm alive,

I refused to let that asshole play any part of my life. ever again. And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says you're out. Whatever else, you're out. Don't consume yourself with what ifs or should'ves. You had to learn the lesson your way and you got out before he killed you. Nothing that happened was your fault and you're out. I'm so proud of you. And another person says, he strangled your dog, but this isn't a judgment, but why did you go back? And the O.P. response saying, I don't really have any sort of clean or logical explanation. I loved him. Or at least the version of him, he showed me in the beginning.

And I kept believing that if I was patient enough or kind enough, that the person would come back. Looking back, I can see how manipulated I was. I was young, scared, and deeply attached. and abuse twists your thinking in ways that are hard to explain if you haven't lived it. I'm stronger now, and I know going back was not proof that I was weak. It was proof of how much control he had over me at the time. Am I overreacting? My 23 male boyfriend held me 19 female underwater during a bath to prove a point and I'm still shaken. I'm 19 female, and I've been with my boy.

boyfriend 23 male for over a year now. We come from different countries and religions, but we've made it work. I have to mention this. My boyfriend loves turning everything into a competition. We both go to the gym, and he's always like, who can do this better? Even at home, he's always asking who can cook better, clean faster, you name it. A week ago, we were relaxing in the bathtub together. He asked who I thought could hold the other underwater the longest. I found it weird and just brushed it off as one of his usual questions. Just two to three minutes later, he got up as if to get out of the bathtub and suddenly pushed me underwater.

He kept me underwater for what felt like more than 20 seconds. When he finally let go, he started laughing. I'm generally healthy, but I have a heart condition that requires. daily medication to keep my heart rate normal. Without meds, my heart rate can go up to 140 to 150 BPM. Even with meds, sudden situations like this can make my heart rate spike to 140 and stay between 110 and 120 for the next few days. He knows this.

He brought up what happened today and said he apologized, which he didn't. and that I should get over it. I'm trying. He said he was trying to prove a point, that I need to work on myself more. It doesn't make sense to me because he's naturally stronger than me, and no matter how much I work out. I can't always defend myself against everything successfully.

I can't talk to my sister or mother about this. They just ask what I was doing in a bathtub with a guy in the first place, and I still don't have friends here. It's only him and me. We've talked about it more than once, and he says if I did this to him, he would have found it funny. I don't know if I just need to loosen up more, but I don't understand how holding me underwater for that long was ever funny in his head. Edit, he's also complaining now about the marks I left on his arm, almost faded. I didn't mean to.

It was sudden, and I swallowed a bit of water, and I was frustrated. freaking out and just wanted him to let go. I apologize for this, but told him it was a natural reaction to what he did. And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says you need to get out immediately. Do not listen to anything he says to you to convince you otherwise. He is dangerous. If there is a universe where what he did could be forgiven as a massive error, in judgment, the way he's reacted since then, finding about six different ways to blame you for being upset is the opposite of what that would look like. And the O.P. responds saying, you're completely right. It's just I've never felt unsafe or uncomfortable around him. That's why

this is so difficult for me, I guess. And another user says, this is very, very scary. I am afraid for you. You were still shaken because what he did was violent. There is no other way to define it. He used his greater body mass to restrain you in a dangerous, scary, and potentially life-threatening situation and found it funny. He has gone far beyond the boundaries of normal competitiveness. The fact that he pushed you to apologize for leaving marks on his arm

while he was practically drowning you leads me to believe that he, number one, is unable slash unwilling to see the true harm of his actions. Number two, we'll do something similarly violent again. Number three, we'll find a way to make your reactions to his violence the bigger problem. Please find a way to remove this man from your life soon before he escalates and puts you in even greater danger.

And the OP replies saying, I'm afraid too. And can't stop thinking about what if he does something like this again? I'm confused because he says he didn't really mean to hurt me and I love him a lot. I know I need to really do something about it, but it's been a week and I still haven't done anything. And then the OP posts one month later an update. And let's get into it.

Hi, I just wanted to let you guys know that I'm away and safe. I tried to log in two days ago to update but found that my account had been suspended. Maybe I did something wrong while creating it or mentioned some details I wasn't supposed to. But I'm okay now and wanting you to know because I'm really grateful for all the advice and support I received that I wasn't sure I would find anywhere else. If my update is too long, you can just stop here because the rest is just what happened in detail. I'm currently staying with a woman who used to be one of my neighbors

before I moved in with him a few months ago. She's the only person I could think of calling for help, and she didn't hesitate to come right away to help pack some of my things and leave. She also encouraged me to call my family. I called my mom two days later. She promised to not tell my siblings or my father, my parents are divorced. I told her everything and she asked how she could help,

which was something I wasn't actually expecting. The main reason I was hesitant to let my family know is because of both my older sister and my father. They always bring up things people feel ashamed of or bad experiences they've had just to win arguments. As for my ex, He apologized, said he met nothing by what he did and promised to never do it again. But just three days after leaving him, he tricked me into meeting him through one of his friends.

She said he packed the rest of my things and asked her to give them back to me. I went to meet her in a public place that I insisted on, and he was with her. We didn't talk because I left right away before I even made it to their table. Since I blocked him the day I left, my neighbor called him and let him know that she has no problem helping me get a restraining order if he ever tries anything. That's all. I'm safe and I know now that I did the right thing. I'm glad I called her. I found a place with two roommates that I will be moving to next week. Although she said I can stay as long as I want, but she's already done so much for me and I don't want to feel like I'm taking advantage of her kindness. Thank you again for all of the

advice. And now let's get into the top comments and someone says, oh, thank God, I've been thinking about you every day since you posted. I'm so glad you trusted your mom and she actually came through. I know you were scared about that. Keep relying on the people you have proven to be on your side and keep being way, way overly careful in staying the hell away from him. I'm so happy to hear you're okay. My wife has changed a lot since we lost our baby. My M-26 wife, who is female 29, and I had a baby due in April. She was going to be our first.

Unfortunately, in January, my wife had a medical emergency, and we wound up losing our daughter. My wife has changed almost 100% into a different person since then. It has affected almost everything she does as a person. person, and it's like she's not even the woman I fell in love with anymore. A little bit of a backstory on us. My wife and I have known each other for five years. I've been a couple for three years, and I've been married for almost a year now. I've had a really hard last couple of years between my mother's passing and the premature

end of my career as a professional athlete and this amazing woman has been my rock. and I feel like I have loved her from the minute I met her, and I've tried to be good to her, and to let my feelings for her show through in the way I treat her. We were both so excited when we learned she was pregnant, and we are looking forward to adding a little girl to our family. Obviously, losing her has been incredibly hard on both of us, but it has been especially hard on my dear wife.

She has always struggled with an anxiety disorder, and she has always been a little clingy, physically and emotionally. But lately, her level of attachment has shot up past 11. I have to practically fight her to be able to leave her work in the mornings, and then when I'm gone, she sends me at least 20 texts. Mostly it's just about how much she misses me, but sometimes she just sends pictures of herself. And when I call her, I never get to.

to talk. She just goes and vents and is incredibly negative about everything, which is basically the opposite of what she used to be. I can't get any personal space at night in bed either. She's always been adamant about cuddling through the entire night, but she's been holding me so tightly lately that it gets hard to breathe. Even after I'm sure she's got to be asleep. It's like sleeping in a clinch hold with a Muay Thai fighter every night, and she can't seem to go an hour or two without needing to be kissed. And our intimate life has changed a lot too. We used to be fairly active about two or three times a week, but now it's almost up to twice or more day, every day, even when I don't want it. On the times when I'm not really feeling up to it, I protest a little

bit at first, but she doesn't listen. And she just seems like she wants it so bad that I don't want to hurt her feelings and turn her down. And when we're having intimacy, it's like we only do stuff that she's into. And I don't get any say in what we do, and it's just all about what satisfies her. It almost feels like intimacy is turning it into a thing I have to do for her to keep her happy instead of a thing we do together because we love each other. And she'll get upset over the littlest things. So almost everything is a fight. I didn't push in my chair all the way, getting up from the table yesterday and I got screamed at. I've been seeing the same therapist since I was 16, and she's like a second mother to me, and my wife has asked me not to see her anymore, because

she doesn't trust her. She also wants me to stop taking my college courses so I can finish my degree, and when I go hang out with my friends whom she thinks are all idiots and reminds me every time we talk about them lately, it's like I'm leaving to go and never come back. I understand that her mental health is not great at this point in time, and I want to be there for her and support her in any way I can. I want to get through this together with the love of my life and to come out on the other side and watch the sunrise after a very dark night. She means everything to me,

but too often it feels like the person she is right now is not the woman I'm married. Edit, yes, I understand she needs therapy, background info on her. She spent a fair amount of time as a teenager in a psychiatric facility, and therapy slash therapists are some of her least favorite people. She went to two sessions after we first lost our daughter, but refuses to go back. When I bring it up, she gets super angry, hits me, she's not that strong, I'll be okay, and then starts crying and needs to be held. And then the OP makes an edit the next day saying,

we were talking today and she agreed to start going to couples therapy and to see her OBGYN this week. She asked me if I was happy and if I still loved her. I guess she overheard me talking to my therapist on the phone about our intimacy last week and she overheard some harsh truths. She wants to be well again

and she's willing to try whatever it takes to get there. And then the OP makes a post four days later which is titled Therapy Difficulties, and it reads as follows. I feel obligated to write this and continue updating people here because of the many kind responses and genuine attempts at offering advice and support. My 26 male wife, 29 female, and I were supposed to be attending couples therapy together yesterday evening. We were lucky enough to have been able to get an appointment so soon.

I was anticipating not being able to get in with a couple's therapist, for at least another two weeks. But we lucked out and were able to get one this week. My wife and I were supposed to meet each other there after I get off work and out of class and then go get dinner afterwards. The appointment is at 6.30, and I get out at 6. Hustle across town to get there.

Still show up three minutes late, expecting her to already be there. She loves being places early. And I didn't notice her car in the parking lot. I figure it's whatever. This is a business park with a lot of parking spaces. She's definitely here. She promised me this morning she would be here.

And I go into the lobby, talk to reception, and ask about seeing the doctor. Doctors in, but my wife definitely is not. Okay, no big deal. She's probably just late. Because traffic is awful in this horrible nightmare city, so I call her. and it rings all the way through, which is kind of weird. Wait another 10 minutes. No call back.

And I try again. Still nothing. I wait another five minutes and now it doesn't even ring. Like she turned her phone off. So obviously the appointment winds up not happening. And I'm worried about the safety and well-being of my wife. Because it's not like her to not return my calls or to be late to stuff slash skip appointment. without notification. Her anxiety airs more on the quote, I have to be super punctual type of anxiety.

So I head home and lo and behold, my wife's car is in the parking lot of our complex. I head into the apartment and she's in our bed, just watching adult videos on the TV and I know she's a girl but I'm just going to say jerking it. Apparently that's what she's been up to all day while I've been at work and at school, trying to provide for us. And she was so nonchalant about it too, like it's the most natural thing in the world for her to be doing at the time. Obviously, I'm a little shocked. I'm not an adult video type of guy.

I think it's actually super unhealthy and overall does more harm to individual psychology than any good that empty instant intimate gratification can do. I don't think watching adult videos while in a relationship. is cheating, but I don't love it. She and I will be having that conversation later. And her watching adult videos isn't what I'm really upset about right now anyways. It's the fact that, of all the reasons to blow off our appointment with a couple's therapist, to help her cope with all of the shit that's been going on lately with the loss of our daughter

and everything related to that, hers is because she was too busy watching some other chick get, fill in the blank. It's, um, yeah, what happens in adult videos. I get that she's not in a good place, but she hasn't been well mentally or emotionally for months now. I get that it's affected her decision making. I get that going and seeing therapists and doctors and doing the whole thing is scary for her and not something that she has much desire to put herself through. Even though she understands that it's probably exactly where she needs to be. I get that she's bored at home after having taken a sabbatical from her job. I get that her hormones have been entirely out of wax since January,

and that intimacy just helps her not feel so terrible all the time. I get that she was basically alone when we lost our daughter, and that the way she lost our baby is a million times worse than the way I lost our baby. I understand all of that. But I still have to go to work so we can eat and pay our bills and rent, and come home and get yelled at for putting the dishes in the dishwasher, the wrong way or whatever and then not get any sleep at night because we're up until two in the morning because she got all intimate all of a sudden and will cry for hours if I don't do it.

If that's the way life is until we can beat this thing together, then that's the way it is and I can tough it out for her sake. But the absolute least that she can do is show up when she's agreed to show up so that we can beat her depression so that she can get better and be well again. So I stayed at a friend's place last night, and I think I'm crashing on his couch again tonight. My wife has called six times and texted 90 times. And it went from asking if I'm ever coming back to begging me to just come back to rants that I haven't read about how sorry I'm going to be. Back to begging me to come home.

I made the mistake of answering one of the calls. And when I tried to explain that I'll come home when I'm ready to come home and that I still love her and still want to be with her, that I'm just really hurt and upset and need space, she screamed at me like I have never, ever in my life been screamed at before. About how I'm probably cheating on her right now and how I've abandoned her and about how dare I, how dare you, was repeated a lot. I don't really know what my criteria is for feeling ready to go back is either. I think at first it was when I felt like she was genuinely ready to talk and not just to yell or have a meltdown.

But then I remembered that she and I have already talked about this and that didn't do anything. I think I'll call her when I get off work and give her the ultimatum of actually going to therapy or a facility or just anything that's in a step in the right direction. Or our relationship might have to be put on hold until she gets everything figured out. And then we don't get an update for a little over a week, about nine days. And nine days later, the OP posts an update post, which is titled, My wife is in a psychiatric care facility. This is kind of an update to my previous posts.

I've been thinking a lot about why I posted on here in the first place, but I think it basically boils down to this being more or less a journal of myself. And if people have some good advice or are able to sympathize even a little bit, then I'll take what I can get. I don't have a lot of in-real-life friends and the ones I do have I'm not close enough with to really vent to about super personal stuff. I have my therapist and my last pair of foster parents and some old friends I made at the boys' home I used to live at, and that's about it. This being basically anonymous means I don't have to worry too hard about being judged by coworkers or other people in my congressional, I guess. I keep posting because it seems like a bunch of people might have gotten maybe a little invested in the well-being of my wife and myself. And I think it would be a little scary and sad to not know if the people whose story you have graciously listened to are okay or not.

It really feels exhibitionists and weird and a bunch of people I've followed this burner Reddit account and it feels like this is just juicy IRA watch someone else suffer entertainment for some people. This post isn't for them. It's for the nice people who I think might be worried about me and my wife. Thanks everyone who has tried to be nice and supportive. But I think this is my final post about this. My wife has had an extremely rough time since we lost our baby to a miscarriage in January and has been practically refusing treatment or therapy of any kind.

She has been incredibly difficult to be around, and I have been super worried about her for months now. I recently had to take a couple days' break away from her after she no-showed an appointment we had agreed to attend together with someone I thought would be able to help her. My in-laws were able to step in and help give her. my wife into a psychiatric care facility. I had been talking with them about the whole situation after I made the decision to get some space after the missed appointment. They dropped everything and traveled like three hours to us and went by to check on her. My mother-in-law and I have kind of teamed up, which is a miracle because she really does not like that. Her only daughter

married me of all people. My in-laws and I went by the apartment and they went in first to to her, and then they brought me in. We more or less had an intervention, and my in-laws were able to talk to her into going to get treatment. I stayed home with her that night and took the next day off of work to drive her there myself. She was really freaking out, but I think she knew that voluntarily taking a mental health break somewhere she can actually get help was the right decision. I'm really proud of her. My wife has already been officially diagnosed with bipolar and postpartum depression on top of her already existing anxiety. I had kind of started suspecting her having bipolar.

I thought getting a diagnosis would be a lot harder and there would be more hoops to jump through. Just getting the diagnosis is a relief because now she can actually get medication and targeted help directly at what she's facing. She still has another day left there. And as her spouse, I'm actually not allowed to visit, which I'm. really hate. I way underestimated how much I would miss her. I think I get how I dog waiting for his owner to get home from work feels. My in-laws, however, are able to visit, and their reports

have been about as positive as I can get. My wife misses me a lot, and she's been fairly lucid and calm since going in. And so far, it's been more positive than not. And obviously, this is probably going to be something that she'll need support with for the rest of our lives. I'm pretty sure that it doesn't just go away, but it really does feel like a genuine, true, legitimate first step in the right direction. And with the right help, we can actually beat this thing. One of the craziest things that has happened throughout this entire process over the last few days has been the way my mother-in-law has started treating me. She actually hugged me and told me she was sorry about me losing her daughter,

which is the first hug she's ever given me. And I never in my life expected her to ever have any sympathy for me. My father-in-law has always been much kinder, but it didn't seem like this was something he had asked her to do. This was just her being nice to me, which I never expected. As for me, I attended a grieving father's support group, and it was like a super pessimistic sadness circle. It just made me even sadder.

And I don't think I'll go back, at least to that same one anyways. I'm going to take a week off of work after the semester of school is over, and we're going to go visit while I'm back in Texas, and we'll stay with my parents. Getting out of this long winter will be good for both of us, I think, and I haven't seen them since my wedding back in May. I'm a little cautious to get excited, though. The last time I thought we were making progress wound up being me

getting my expectations way too high and then being very disappointed. But it does feel like the sun is rising a little bit, if that makes sense. And then the O.P. posted one days later, saying she's home, this is the start of the rest of forever.

And then the O.P. posted nine days later, which reads as follows. My wife, 29 female, has been really big into filming her and myself, 26 male, while we have intimacy lately. It seems like it's almost every time now. She has said that she keeps them for herself,

and it's a way to keep herself satisfied when the hyper intimacy hits because of her bipolar disorder. She thinks that one of our videos is really hot and that if we posted it to an adult film website, it would do really well. She said the idea of that really turns her on and has been nagging me at least once a day

for the last couple of days. I really don't like that idea. And when I went with her to hang out with her friends yesterday, one of them who has a big only fan following plus a part-time job instead of a full-time job, put me on the spot about it and said, she later claimed this was just a joke, that she would introduce my wife to a guy who would be willing to make a video with her to post online. I lost my temper with her and it turned into a shouting match. And then my wife and I left. I get that I shouldn't have yelled, but I was so mad. In the car, I caught a lot of hell for freaking out on her friends over a joke. I really did not read her comment about introducing my wife to a guy that would have intimacy with her on camera as a joke at all. I get that my wife

has a right to vent to her friends, and I'm glad that she has people she can talk to besides me. I just think that her friend was wrong to put me on the spot about it and that her joke was way out of line. And I don't want to be the husband that tells his wife she can't see her friends anymore. But I don't feel entirely comfortable with her seeing and hanging out around these people. And now let's get into some of the top comments

about this entire threat. Someone says guilt-tripping him into unwanted intimacy, screaming at him for small things, hitting him when he says things she doesn't like and now in the middle of what should be her recovery she picks a fight with her husband about doing adult videos my goodness that is a lot to unpack I do hope with the new diagnosis that she can

start getting some medication and treatment that will really help her it does stick out to me that she spent a lot of time in mental health facilities as a teenager and as soon as he told her parents what was going on. They immediately drove three hours down and talked her into getting treatment. I know he says that his wife's behavior completely changed, but

I do wonder if she hasn't had problems like this for a while, and this is just them resurfacing rather than appearing for the first time. And another person says, I don't know what to say except Jesus Christ, O.P. is going to get very hurt. And

another user says, God damn. That was a roller coaster. Poor fella is playing a game that needs advanced psychiatric degrees. My mind's eye is a field of red flags. And then another user comments, spiraling,

which I feel like sums up this entire thread very well. Although it is very sad for what the OPE has to go through, and I hope that the OPE's wife gets the help she so desperately needs. This really is just, just a very sad and a situation that is spiraling out of control. And all right, guys, that wraps up some true, terrifying Reddit threads.

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