Snook - True Unsettling Reddit Threads

Episode Date: March 16, 2026

From a mother asking for help because her child was taken hostage, to a deeply disturbing thread about the OP’s dad buying “exotic” animal meat… these are some True Unsettling Reddit Threads�� I hope every OP in this video is doing better now. Would you like to see me make similar videos in the future? Leave your thoughts down below in the comment section, and make sure to like and subscribe! Join the Patreon! ⁠https://www.patreon.com/SnookYT ⁠Follow me on instagram and Spotify! If your story or post was included in today's video and you wish for it to be taken down, please reach out to this email.  [e-mail]  And yes, I'm a human voice. NEXT SUB GOAL - 1,000,000 subscribers! So make sure to subscribe! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Most Reddit threads are harmless. Memes, advice, dumb arguments. But every once in a while, someone posts something that makes you just stop and say, what the hell did I just read? And today, we're diving into some Reddit threads that make you say just that. And let me tell you, these are some of the most disturbing, depressing, and just downright jaw-dropping threads I have ever. red. So you want to make sure to stick around and make sure to like the video and subscribe to the

channel. The channel's subscriber goal is one million subscribers so please subscribe it helps more than you know. And this will be a long long video so sit back relax grab a drink and grab a snack and without further ado let's get into some true unsettling Reddit threads. tried to kill her and used my child as a hostage. Originally posted to R slash true off my chest and R slash legal and let's get into it. Posting on a throwaway as I frequently use Reddit and my family might see this. Just to start off, everybody is okay. He was caught and arrested and is currently in jail with a bond his family can't afford. I don't know where to start, but I guess I'll start by I'm traumatized.

As a parent, the second worst thing that could happen, happened, first being death. I didn't know where he was for six minutes, but it felt like it was 30. I feel like I was the last person contacted to know what was going on. I'm angry. I'm angry at my sister's boyfriend. I'm angry at my sister, and I'm angry at myself. I know I shouldn't be, but I am. To make a long story short, my sister was supposed to watch my son a couple of nights ago.

She said she wouldn't be off working time, but that he could watch him for 30 minutes, to an hour before she got off. I thought it would be okay since it wasn't a long period of time. I was so wrong. I got a bad gut feeling when I pulled in to drop them off. I ignored it. I talked it up to be in anxiety. And I was just being selfish and wanted a fun night out.

I get a call around 45 minutes after dropping him off. Sister's boyfriend. Just came to Sister's workplace. Beat her up, crashed her car, and took off with my child in said crash car. I'm sorry. My name. I called back and she told me that they found him, but I couldn't see him yet. And I was instantly thinking he was dead.

That was the worst six minutes of my life. Basically, my sister tried to break up with him that morning, but in his eyes, she's not allowed to break up with him. And that's what started all of this. I guess he was using their dog as a hostage at first, and so my sister got our other sister to get her dog out of the situation. She said she was going to tell me not to drop off my child, but that he was acting fine and it calmed down so she didn't.

but I really wish she did and I'm mad she didn't I would have never dropped him off he pulled up to her workplace told her if she didn't come out he would harm my child speeds off into an alleyway

by her work and strangles her told her do you really want to break up with me I just want you to know if you break up with me me and my child are gonna go on a ride She says no, and he calls her a liar and crashes into her job sign, totaling her car, then tells her if she tries to run or scream for help, he'll kill my child.

Hit her again, more arguing, starts to speed off to try and kidnap her, and she jumps out of the car and runs screaming into her job. Police found my child alone in their apartment with the door locked. He dropped him off and took off on foot. He turned himself in after hiding for about an hour, crying and admitting everything, SMH. My child is fine. Didn't know what was going on. Thought they were plain.

But I am not okay. My sister isn't okay. She's been left with a large financial burden as they live together and is out of a car. And she is traumatized. I feel so bad for feeling angry with her. I know I wouldn't know what to do in that situation, as I've never been in it. And she was in fight or flight, but I am angry. Irrational or not, I'm angry.

She didn't let me know they were having problems. I'm angry. She jumped out of the car screaming after he said he'd kill my child. I'm angry. I wasn't told immediately. but I also feel bad for her. I've always been my sister's protector, and I wasn't even worried about her when this was going on.

I was only worried about my child. I feel more angry that my child was involved than about what happened to her, and that's terrible. I don't know why I feel this way, and I don't know what to do with it. I don't know what to do from here. I want to make a post exposing him, maybe set up a go-fund me for her, but I know she doesn't want that.

I want to press personal charges slash sue him, but I don't think she wants that either. I just don't know what to do or what to do with my feelings. My family doesn't even want to talk about it. There's so much more I could say, but at the end of the day, I'm so thankful that my child is okay. I prayed so hard.

I'm thankful my sister is physically okay with only mild bruising. And I'm thankful he's in jail. Just hoping for a strong sentence. Edit. I feel like there's some confusion. The dog hostage situation happened around 1 or 2 p.m. I think. And I dropped my son off at 7.45 p.m.

Not to say, it wasn't bad judgment, but there was a good chunk of time in between the instances. However, I do not wish to condemn my sister or press, charges on her. That wasn't the point of this post. She was just as surprised by this as I was. She was not covering for her abusive boyfriend. She had a bad lapse in judgment. She immediately ran into her job screaming to call the police and helped him get in jail. I definitely will be more cautious, though, moving forward, but please refrain from these super harsh comments about my sister. She didn't intend for any of this to happen. Y'all have helped me feel just

justified in my anger though, and I really appreciate that. And maybe it's because she's my sister and she doesn't have a bad bone in her body, but you are right. Her dog is her baby. She definitely cares more about him than her nephew. And if it was him in the car, I don't think she would have jumped out. But I'll just have to sit with this for a while. And then the Opie adds some additional context in the comments reading, I forgot to mention,

but he took a pill, I'm assuming right after I left, so he was under the influence as well, doesn't have a license, and also he was planning to do this the whole time. I think that's the most chilling thing of all. He looked me in my eyes and said, your child has a safe place to stay tonight before I left. And he just seemed so calm and normal.

I never expected this to happen. And then a commenter asks, what he was arrested for and what he will be charged with can be vastly different. Contact the prosecutor for this jurisdiction and talk to them about your kidnapping scenario as you voluntarily left your son with him. It's a stretch. Child endangerment fits though, and you certainly have grounds for a civil suit. Basing this on the assumption you are in the U.S.

And the O.P replies saying, Yes, I am in the U.S. and on mobile patrol it states charges five aggravated assault domestic assault leaving seen accident with poverty damage minor abuse neglect under six years of age criminal impersonation someone else says press charges against that abusive sorry excuse for a human he literally endangered your child he could have killed your child screw what your sister wants this is out of her hands. If she isn't outraged that he tried to kill her nephew to get back at her for breaking up with him, unleash your inner mama bear and do not relent until he is in jail for endangering

the child. And the OP response saying he's in jail, the police were called immediately and he turned himself in and confessed to everything. Just wondering if I can personally sue slash press charges if there's already criminal charges against him. Someone else says, I know, your sister is his victim, but she put your child in danger. I would never forgive my sister if she did what your sister did. She'd be out of my life for good. She should have called you during the day. She cared more about her relationship than an innocent child. But then the O.P. goes silent for a while, seven months, but then comes back with an update. Let's get into it. happened back in May.

He ended up only getting six years probation. Right before my sister was to testify, they came and told her he took a plea deal. She was off the case and couldn't get any updates after that as it was no longer her case. His mom ended up sending me a very hateful and abuse enabling victim-blaming-ass message on October 8th. He died November 22nd. either an OD or S-word or both? Not completely sure. Not much of an update.

Don't really know how to feel. I'm glad he can't hurt anybody else though. But sad he didn't get a justful sentence and took slash got the easy way out? I don't know. It's been a weird month. Edit. I realized I left some things out. He ended up hosting bail after.

I guess his family. did indeed have money. About two weeks after all this happened, my sister left work and found him asleep in her car. She got a co-worker to take her home, and the next morning he showed up at her home and she called the police. He was arrested without bail this time. He ended up getting a nice lawyer, and the rest is history. Me and my sister have not been on speaking terms since June. Besides, occasionally on Sundays when we meet up with the family, we'd exchange a few words. after his death, we have since unblocked each other and have been in low contact. Hopefully we can move forward and work on our relationship.

And now let's get into the comment. Someone says this is a huge update. One less woman beating, child abducting psycho in this world. And the opi responds saying, honestly, my first reaction to the news was, may he rot? And I still feel that way, but I just wish, the judge felt the same, if that makes sense? Another commenter says, it does make sense.

He got let off light with a plea deal and got to continue to be a threat to your sister. That's not right. I really hate it when judges let men like this off light, as if they're suddenly going to become a normal human being and leave their victims alone. Once they escalate, they never de-escalate. And the O.P. response saying,

Yes, she left court. and moved out of her apartment the same day. They lived together. He financially and mentally ruined her. And his ex texted my sister after. He messaged her through the jail app and tried to lie and say some BS. And showed her screenshots and picks of how he acted in the bruises he left on her. She wasn't the first girl he had done that to.

I'm glad my sister was the last, though. I hope at least. Another user comments, I'm not really sure I would call death the easy way out, as it is the ultimate final punishment. Hopefully, he suffered as he was dying, but really screw him. How are you doing? How is your son handling all this? And the O.P responds saying, my son is pretty young and doesn't fully understand the concept of what happened and death and all that.

but I mean with me, like I said, it's just been a weird month. The week it happened, I finally completely cut off my son's deadbeat dad. I just lost my job, causing bad news, and found out he died all within the same week, so it was a lot. I do think it was a good outcome given he was only given probation and not jail time and could do it to another girl slash family. me and my sister have been on bad terms since and we just reconnected after he died and can hopefully work on our relationship.

I don't know. I think it may finally be time to get into therapy though. Another user comments, why were you and your sister in bad terms from this? This doesn't really sound like her fault is why I'm wondering, if you don't mind sharing, of course. I can't imagine what you're feeling.

I'm sorry, this must be terrible. all of it. In the opi responds to this saying, just the stuff that happened. Her not telling me she was trying to break up with him that day and that he was holding their dog hostage

just hours prior to the situation. I was going to have my parents watch him, but then she offered and she rarely watched him, so I thought it'd be good for them to bond just for all of that to happen. I was willing to work through it, but then during the case,

she wasn't telling me any information on it even though I was constantly asking and just seemed to not want to be bothered by it, drinking a lot and trying to move on. I get it, but she made it all about her pain and acted like I wasn't also traumatized. And it just frustrated and bothered me. That, coupled with a past issue

that got brought up, just sent in a full-blown no contact. Another user comments, The mom sent you a hateful message? Why you and not the sister? This makes no sense. You didn't date him. Hmm. And then the OP response saying,

Oh, believe me. She sent my sister one too. I posted about the situation on Facebook back when it happened, and I guess she didn't see it until she had messaged me. But she was basically like, you're slandering my son. I'm going to call the cops if you don't remove it. And a whole bunch of victim blaming shit.

She said my sister, spitting in his face, in retaliation to him trying to Rward her, by the way, was abuse. and he did beat her for it afterwards, but yet she didn't mention that part. Or rather, he lied about that. And that is the last update we have received from the O.P. My dog attacked my stalker after he broke into my house. Now my sister-in-law says my dog is too dangerous to be around my niece.

Feel like I'm going crazy. This is kind of a complicated story, but I'll just get into it. I used to be in this controlling, kind of abusive relationship. When I finally broke it off a year ago, my ex started showing up in places, trying to get me to take him back. Eventually, it developed into full-on stocking. He would show up at my work and took to just waiting outside of it after he was banned. Leave notes on my car when I was at the grocery store.

Leave all kinds of flowers outside of my house and then stick angry notes on my door after he saw me throw them in the trash, wrote me all kinds of weird, obsessive emails and letters. I've had to change my phone number three times. The behavior escalated over time and got scarier and more threatening. In one instance, he started a small fire in my driveway, but the police couldn't get more evidence connecting him to it. It was after that instance that I put cameras in my yard. I previously only had them pointing at my doors. I was horrified to learn that the police couldn't do shit about any of this until my stalker was actually caught doing something illegal, like breaking into my house, at which point

I might already be dead. I decided I wasn't spending the rest of my life waiting for the other shoe to drop. So I got a handgun and a concealed carry person. permit. Took some self-defense courses and started doing strength training. I also looked into getting an attack dog, but after all the money, I'd sunk into my other methods of protection. They were prohibitively expensive. So I went to my local animal shelter and got the scariest, meanest-looking dog I could find. This is where Thor comes in. He's a 100-pound American bulldog. Looks like he'd rip your throat out on site, but is basically a gigantic teddy bear. He loves every person he's ever met, is incredibly sweet and gentle with my four-year-old niece,

enjoys other animals, and even loves the male man. I just kind of accepted that he probably wouldn't do anything to protect me for my stalker, but it didn't matter that much because having such a huge dog made me feel so much more confident. I brought Thor everywhere I could and was working on getting him trained enough to be an emotional support animal so I could even bring him inside places with me. I absolutely would not do this until he was trained well enough to not disrupt a regular service dog.

Last month, I woke up in the middle of the night to Thor whining. I was groggy and thought he had to go to the bathroom. So I got out of bed and opened the door At that point, my house alarm went off, and pretty soon after that, I was face to face with my stalker. I started screaming and went to run for my gun. Before I could do anything, though, Thor ran across the room in full attack mode. The memory is really blurry for me, but there was blood all over my living room, and I remember my stalker was eventually able to escape, at which point Thor chased him outside,

and then came back to me. When the police showed up, they said Thor was a hero who'd probably save my life. I don't want to list what they found in my stalker's car after they caught him, and I'm shaking a little as I typed this, but I'm sure he was going to bring me somewhere and kill me.

It looks like he's going to prison for a long time, though. So my nightmare is over. Pretty much everyone in my life thinks Thor is a hero, except my sister-in-law. She and my brother have a four-year-old, the one I mentioned above, and she says she doesn't want Thor rounder, the child, anymore. She says, since Thor had snapped in the past, he could do it again. So he's not safe to have around kids.

We used to see each other a few times a week before she decided Thor was dangerous. The way she words this makes me really angry because Thor didn't see. snap. He saw a stranger break into his home, heard his owner scream in terror, and reacted to defend me, himself and his house. Nothing about that screams dangerous around children to me, unless my niece is also going to break into my house and threaten me. This is also a very emotional issue for me because Thor isn't just a dog to me. He's my safe place. He's my safe place. my hero the one who protected me and kept me safe when no one else could i've also gotten increasingly anxious since this happened and i can't go anywhere without thor i barely leave my house

pay to pick up my groceries from the store instead of going in because i know thor isn't allowed inside and all my friends know that if thor isn't welcome in their house i'm not coming either although they're perfectly welcome to come hang out at my house instead. I am really going through it, and I'm working with the therapist to overcome this. Luckily, my office is still fully remote, but I need to be able to go back to work once we're in person again, but I really, really need my brother and sister-in-law's support. I think my sister-in-law thinks I'm just pouting, and that's why I won't just leave the dog home and come over without him. I don't know how to explain to them that the fear hasn't stopped just because my stalker is in jail.

It's actually a lot worse than it was before. I've already suggested they come over and I create Thor, but that wasn't good enough for her. What can I do to make her understand the situation better? And now let's get into some of the top comment. Someone says, most of the people that replied have given you excellent advice. mine is to get you to see that you won. As I read your post, I realized that you have no idea how smart and strong you are. You were threatened and took action.

You got a gun, permit, training, cameras, alarm system, a dog, and all the things that I usually have to talk people into. For years, I provided a service to victims of stalkers. I would first inform them of their legal rights, tell us. them their options, help them with filing reports, do a deep background on the stalker, inspect the home for security, advise them on a proper alarm system and changes, find a contractor, help them select a handgun in training, train them what to do at home, at work on the street, help find a dog, therapist, and many other things. Over the years, I've developed a thorough understanding of the mind of stalkers and how to deal with them. I know how helpless you feel when

the law says you have to be beaten or killed before they can do anything. Today, most major cities have a support group for people that are harassed by stalkers. Sometimes I would even have a discussion with the stalker, but that only worked 10% of the time. Stockers know the law. aren't afraid of much and are driven by things most people don't understand. I could list the many things we did, including staking out the house and catching them. I was licensed and permitted in everything. I only share this background so that you know that I have more experience of this than most people. The reason I'm replying to your post is to tell you that you did things on your own,

that I had to push clients to do, because they were either paralyzed with fear, lived in denial, or were passive and had to be pushed into protecting themselves. Some even wanted to move away. Never run from a stalker, and you didn't. In 15 years, I never had one client that took the initiative like you have. You did almost everything right, and you should be proud of your efforts and know that you are strong enough to deal with this and anything else life throws at you. You won.

Don't let this piece of trash know that he caused you pain. These sick people get pleasure from your fear. So as you go forward, don't let your sister-in-law get to you. She has no idea what you went through, and her fear of your dog is baseless. You are really lucky you have one heck of a dog. He saved your life and deserves a great partner like you. Please don't underestimate yourself. I never had one client as strong and smart as you.

You should be talking to victims and sharing your story of courage and survival. You would provide a service to victims that think no one understands their constant fear. If you did that, you'd be giving yourself therapy. Therapy isn't much more than sharing your fears to someone that understands and you truly do. And that was the top of voted comment on this post. And the OP response saying, this was such a kind, lovely thing to read. Thank you so much, both for this comment and for the work you do.

Someone else says, I'm so happy you're okay, and Thor is the goodest boy. Please give him lots of hugs from everyone. Your sister-in-law is being ridiculous. What does your brother have to say about it? I think your compromise of creating Thor when they're over is as good as it gets, and I agree with that. The only other opinion I can see is that Thor wears a gentle leader leash and you can keep a hold of him when you're around them. But I doubt that would satisfy your sister-in-law.

For what it's worth, she's being incredibly insensitive when you should be thanking whoever above that, you had the foresight to get Thor and that he loves you so much. Someone else says, I'm so happy that nothing bad happened to you or Thor, physically at least, when you're stalker invaded your home. I hope you can find healthy ways to process. as to the trauma and find peace and healing, you're not going crazy. Your feelings are valid. That being said, your sister-in-law's job is to protect your child, and that's where she's

coming from on this. I see her side too. I'd be wary of a four-year-old around any dog, regardless of that dog's temperament. I don't understand why she doesn't accept the compromise solution of having Thorpecrated when they visit, so I would suggest that you push that angle harder. It respects her fear. for wanting to protect her child, while also protecting your relationship with your brother, sister-in-law, and niece.

If you approach her from an angle of understanding her concerns, while also explaining yours, you may be able to make more headway on reaching a compromise. And then someone replies to that saying, this is the right answer. I can totally understand being wary around a dog that can and has seriously injured someone. even if in that case it was good, especially since little kids can be a little pokey at times. But having them created sounds like the perfect solution. And then the OP gives us an update about a week later,

and let's get into that. I definitely didn't expect my last post to blow up the way it did. Thank you so much to everyone who commented. I appreciated that I got advice from all over the spectrum, from people who constantly agreed with me, to people who completely agreed with my sister-in-law, and people who thought both of us had a point. It helped me see that the problem is more complicated than I thought,

which helped me understand that my sister-in-law wasn't just being a dick. It also helped me decide what things were and weren't fair to be angry about. I also appreciated seeing a few people comment making fun of me for me and knew my dog with me, and the majority of people yelling at them and saying I was acting pretty reasonable for someone who endured, a violent attack. I don't want to be seen as someone delicate, and I'm glad that most people don't see me that way. Reading everyone's comments, I had this moment where I was like,

yeah, they're right. I did almost get drug out of my house and murdered just a few weeks ago. Who the hell are these people to say how I should act? That felt really good, and I really, really appreciate it. Anyway, the conclusion I came to in all of this is that while my sister-in-law is well within her right to protect her daughter. She went about in a way that disrespected me, both as a friend and as a victim of a very recent violent attack. Both my parents and her parents live locally and babysit all the time.

She and my brother could have easily dropped my niece off with them and come visit. It probably would have been a while before I even noticed my niece wasn't coming around, at which point I would have been in a better place and more understanding that she was uncomfortable with her daughter around Thor. Regardless of what some people said about how my sister-in-law and brother don't owe me anything and all their allegiance goes to their daughter, I simply do not feel that way. We were extremely close before this happened. I was always there for them and would literally drop plans to babysit my niece if my brother

and sister-in-law needed a night to themselves. The very least they could have done for me. after I was almost kidnapped and murdered is trying to find some compromise. We went from seeing each other three times a week to pretty much not seen each other at all. Even if they weren't okay with me, creating the dog, they could have easily dropped their daughter off with grandma and grandpa for a few hours, so I wouldn't feel completely isolated. I also have a yard, so they could have come over with her,

and we all could have hung out outside while Thor stayed inside. I've been upset about this for a while, but wasn't sure if I was in the right to be upset until so many people echoed that sentiment. So I appreciate it. I invited my brother and sister-in-law over. I promised it would only be for an hour or two and insisted they leave my niece with my parents

and tried to lay all this out without being confrontational or acting like a dick. To my surprise, my brother and sister-in-law had no real understanding that I've been having a difficult time. They thought I was basically fine and everything in my life was more or less back to normal now that my stalker is in jail. I didn't even get into that in my previous post, but during the year that I was stalked, I worked really hard to not show many outward signs of fear. I even made jokes about having a stalker. I knew people wouldn't want to hang around to someone

who was constantly going on and on about some bad thing that was going on in their life, and I didn't want to be that person who is perpetually in crisis. And more than that, I just didn't want to always be thinking and talking about having a stalker. I wanted to not think about it as much as possible. So I guess I might have come off as unaffected by the whole thing. I'm not totally sure if I buy that they didn't know I was going through something traumatic and that it was taking a huge toll on my mental state.

I mean, I got a gun and paid for tactical training. I bought a home security system. I got active in self-defense classes and strength training, things that I previously had no interest in. Even if I wasn't walking around telling everyone how scared I was, I think anyone would have been able to tell. Plus, who just brushes off having their house broken into in the middle of the night? It seems crazy, and they don't seem so emotionally unintelligent

that they'd think that. But both my brother and sister-in-law, did apologize for being insensitive. And when I pressed my sister-in-law on why crating the dog isn't good enough, she eventually relented and said that it would be fine. It probably helped that the entire time they were over. Thor was asleep and loudly snoring in his crate. The paranoid part of me is convinced they just don't want to deal with me in a fragile state,

made up an excuse about my dog, and are now just trying to come up with some excuse on why they don't want to see me. I invited them over for dinner in a few days, and they're coming, so I guess I'll just have to see from there. I can't stress enough that these used to be my best friends, and I'm heartbroken to have not had their support. I've been trying to rely on my friends more now, and thankfully they've all been really supportive. I'm really lucky that this happened during the pandemic, because nobody is getting frustrated with me that I've basically refused to leave the house for a month. They're all perfectly happy to pick up takeout and come over to watch TV for the fifth night in a row.

In other news, yesterday I left my dog at home and drove around my block alone. I was shaking the whole time, but I did it. I keep trying to remind myself that I spent a whole year fighting back even though I was utterly terrified. I can't just lay down and die now that I'm so close to getting my life back. The Cousin Saga

Am I the asshole? I don't like my cousin's boyfriend and want to tell someone about it. But if I did that, I'd be outing him to our family. We're both guys. He's 16 and I'm 17. We've been very close since we are children. Closer than I am with my actual siblings. His parents divorced seven years ago and he and his mother have been living with us since then.

He's like a brother to me, and I guess I've always been a bit protective of him. His dad was a POS, and after they moved in with us, he'd sleep in my bed almost every night because he had a nightmare. We chose to share a room, even though there was more than enough space at our house for him to have his own. He only moved into his own room less than a year ago. Last Wednesday, we wanted to go to the cinema together. I had rugby practice before, so we met up at the cinema.

When I got there, he was talking on his phone and smiling. That was a little strange because he doesn't have any friends outside me and my friend group, and he wouldn't call any of them. When he saw me approaching, he hung up and acted like nothing happened. During the movie, he kept getting texts and I tried to see who they were from. When I asked him who it was that I'd been texting him, he said it was only app notifications. That evening, while he was taking a shower, I went into his room to get my headphones when I saw his phone lying around. I got curious, so I checked his messages.

I found out that they're from a guy who goes to our school. They have been texting for over a month. They were sending each other heart emojis in all that. that stuff. When I found out I was angry, mostly because my cousin and I share everything with each other, but he never told me he was gay. I'm not homophobic. I've ended a relationship with a close childhood friend because he made a comment towards my cousin. I have to admit that I'm not too surprised that he's gay because he does look and act a bit more feminine, but I would never have a problem with that. I love him the way he is.

I hate that he kept this a secret from me. We used to share everything with each other and know he's keeping such a big thing for me. It's like he doesn't want me in his life anymore. I tried to move past it, but every time I think about it, I just get angry and jealous that he'd rather spend time with someone who's basically a stranger than me who's always been there for him. I know the guy he's dating. I didn't even like the guy before, and I like him.

him even less now. I don't think their relationship will last, and I don't want to see my cousin get hurt. I want to tell my aunt because I know she loves her son as much as I do, and wants to protect him from getting hurt again. But if I did that, I'd automatically be outing my cousin to our family, and that would hurt him as well. I thought about how I would tell her without letting her know they're dating, but it's too risky. I don't want him to end up hating me. I only want to protect him and keep him away from bad influences. Would I be wrong for telling our family? Maybe he wouldn't even be angry at me. Maybe he'd understand that I only want to do what's best for him. And trust me, guys, it gets a lot, a lot worse from here. But now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says,

you're the asshole. Leave it alone, just like you should have left his phone alone. You did this to yourself. You suck your nose where it doesn't belong. You have no right to be mad that he didn't tell you. Someone else says, you're the asshole for snooping, for deciding you know best who he should be in a relationship with,

for cutting him out of your life, for not telling you he's gay, and for even considering outing him. Someone else says, you're the asshole, massively, and also kind of creeping me out. Why are you so jealous that he has a relationship? You say his boyfriend will hurt him. How would you know that? You don't seem protective.

You seem controlling. Let him make his own choices and experiences. I wonder what your cousin's side of the story is. I feel like this is a very one. one-sided description. And basically, everyone else under that post is saying, you're the asshole O.P. You shouldn't have been snooping through his phone,

and you shouldn't be even considering outing him. I mean, which I totally agree with. But then the O.P goes on to make two more posts. One titled, My cousin is being manipulated by his, quote, boyfriend, that's in quotes. How do I bring it up to him? Now let's get into it. My cousin, 16 male and I, 17M, are very close.

He's more of a little brother to me than my actual brothers. We've always shared everything, and I've always stood up for him. I'm very protective of him since I have seen him get hurt before, and I don't want that to happen again. I recently found out that he's dating another guy. When I found out, I was and still am, hurt that he didn't tell me. I'm also worried because I know the guy is dating and I know my cousin will end up getting hurt by him. I have reason to believe that his boyfriend is manipulating him and maybe pressuring him to keep their relationship a secret.

I'm always the first person he talks to and we share everything. I think he just didn't know how to tell me, which is why he did it in a more indirect way. He openly received multiple texts from his boyfriend in front of me, but when I asked about it, he gave an obviously fake excuse. After that, I went into his room to get my headphones. He had left his phone out in the open, and when I unlocked it, their chat was still opened. I thought about telling his mother, but that could make him get mad at me,

and I don't want that to happen, not even for a short time. I want to protect him, though I still want to talk to him. I just haven't figured out how to bring it up. Should I be direct or approach it slowly? I want to protect him, not scare him off. And now let's get into some of the top comments on this. Someone says, what's the deal with relationship, boyfriend, and dating being in quotes? What about this relationship makes it so not real to you?

This screams homophob to me. What makes this relationship not real compared to any other high school relationship? And then the OP replies saying, My cousin has never been in a relationship before and is pretty inexperienced when it comes to that. His boyfriend, again, in quotes, has had multiple relationships before. I know he doesn't actually care about my cousin and is just using him until he gets bored. It sounds like you have a problem with him being gay. And then the OP makes another post a few minutes later

that was basically just talking about the same thing and nothing really of note because he just kind of repeats exactly what he just said. But then the OP makes a new post a few days later saying, I talked to my cousin, you can stop speculating now. And this reads as follows. I couldn't sleep last night, so I wrote down what I wanted to say to him and practiced how to bring it across. I just waited in his room so we could talk as soon as he woke up. I told him I knew about his relationship and that I was

hurt. He didn't think he could trust me enough to tell me. I asked if I had done something that made him think that. He assured me that I hadn't done anything and apologized for lying to me when I had asked about the messages. He told me it was because he didn't know. He didn't know. He told me it was because he didn't know how to tell me, and he's relieved that I figured it out. I told him about the concerns I have about his relationship and what I thought about his boyfriend. He said I shouldn't worry about that because he's not being mistreated. He admitted to feeling a little overwhelmed by his boyfriend and unsure how to behave in certain situations. He asked me if I could maybe help and give him some advice now and then.

In the end, I told him about this lake party I'm invited to. He rolled his eyes a bit because he's not big on drinking or meeting new people. I had to promise to stay with him and not leave him alone with people he doesn't know. We've made up even though none of you were any help so you can all go fuck yourselves now. And then this post was followed by one last post before his account was suspended, which was titled, My Cousin and I, Sleep, Sleeper, in the same bed. We've been doing that since we were 9 or 10.

It started because my cousin used to have nightmares and couldn't sleep on his own. Sometimes he still can't, but it's not as frequently anymore. We're also very close and have no problem showing affection, like cuddling or touching in general. There's nothing inappropriate or weird about it, but some people might twist it into something it's not. To us, there's nothing strange about it, but maybe it could seem weird to outsiders. And now let's get into the top comment. Someone says, stop posting this shit in the hopes that someone will agree with you that you are doing nothing wrong. No one is going to agree with you.

You are being abusive and controlling. At a minimum, you need help immediately, and so does your cousin for being controlled and manipulated by you, you have disturbed a lot of people. And then on the same day that that post went live, his account was suspended, but then a day later on July 3rd, there was a post on R slash true off my chest by a new user, but there were obvious similarities between the usernames and the style of writing, but also concerning the ages, living situation, and timeline. So it's pretty obvious.

It's the same OP that just created a new account after his last one was suspended. And this new post posted on R slash True of My Chest is titled, I kind of had intimacy with my best friend, but he's in a relationship and I'm not gay. We were at a party yesterday and got pretty drunk. We only barely made his my room and just fell asleep. And then after this, the OP gets into a pretty vivid discreet. of some intimacy of him and his best friend. I'm just going to leave it at that.

I'm not going to read out the entire scene of what happened. But basically, some suss things happened. And yeah, and let's continue. When I woke up fully, he wasn't in my room anymore, but I could hear the shower running. I don't know how to act around him anymore, and I'm a little scared of his reaction. He has a boyfriend, though.

they don't seem to be very serious. This is such an awkward situation. I know he's pretty, but I'm not even attracted to guys. Edit, thank you for your comments. They helped me feel less weird about this thing. We had just talked and it went really well. He feels guilty because of his boyfriend and is probably going to end the relationship. That's not such a bad thing in my opinion,

because his boyfriend is kind of an asshole and he could definitely do better. And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says, You sound like you're more worried about losing your friend, which is valid like that could be very awkward to talk about, but ignoring them is even worse for the situation. I'd recommend giving a day or two of space and then just talk and let home know how you feel

and that you hope nothing changes to your relationship if you want to keep them around as your friend. I'd also say think about which way you lean, but not as something that's taboo. Maybe you're attracted to how someone makes you feel and not just the general sense of the private parts or maybe you're just not into that and was just drunk. I could be reading into that a tad bit, L.O.L.

But definitely be honest and keep us or me updated. I'm interested in this now. And then the opi replies saying, he still hasn't come out of his room, but his mom went to check on him and said he's pretty hungover. He did drink a bit more than me and generally handles alcohol worse. so he's probably just trying to sleep it off.

He usually does that. I'll talk to him either this evening or tomorrow. We'll be going on vacation together with our families and the two of us will be sharing a room so it could get a little awkward if we don't talk to each other. I've never felt attracted to him or any other guys, drunk or not. I don't know where this came from. I think I'm just a little confused right now.

And then someone says, Do your parents and his parents know he's gay? Are they okay? And the OP replies saying, I'm the only one who knows and we agreed not to tell anyone about what happened. He promised not to mention it even when he comes out. They aren't homophobic and wouldn't have a problem with either of us being gay, but they wouldn't be okay with what we did.

I made sure he knows that, that they can't find out about this. And then someone comments saying, Why wouldn't your families be okay with it if they somehow found out? And the OP replies, Our families are very close, and we grew up like brothers, so they would see it as wrong, but neither he nor I will tell them so it's not a problem. It's not really their business anyway. And then someone asks, I feel like it's important to ask,

considering you were nearly blackout drunk. Were you fully consensual? And the OP replied saying, it was definitely consensual. We talked about it, and we were both just kind of acting on. instinct and not really thinking about what we were actually doing. I also wasn't blackout drunk. I handle alcohol pretty well. And then someone asks, are we ignoring the whole cheating aspect here? And the opi replies saying it's not really that bad. Their relationship wasn't really a serious one. And his boyfriend was kind of shit, TBH. He broke up with him now, which I think is a good

thing. And then someone replies saying, that doesn't excuse it. And the opie replies. saying it does believe me their relationship was basically over anyway my cousins and he then edited it to say friend has never been in a relationship before and his boyfriend was trying to take advantage of that and manipulate him into doing things he didn't want to do i'm like 99% sure his boyfriend was cheating on him too and then someone replies saying cousin Huh? And the OP replies saying, LOL,

people kept writing something about cousins, just mixed up the words. Even if you were right, why would it matter? Nothing about what happened would change. So why would you make it a big deal? And then the OP saw the first best of Reddit updates post and posted this on his profile saying,

just fuck off stalkers. Why don't you just get hobbies instead of making up stories about other people and stalking them? What we're doing is none of your business. Why is it such a problem for you if he wants me to F him? For fuck's sake, get a life.

And now let's get into some of the top comments. And just by the way, this update from the OP has zero upvotes and 181 comments. So people have a lot to say. And let's get into the comment. Someone says, you need to reflect inwardly here.

Your behavior is indicative of someone extremely possessive and narcissistic. You're constantly in denial by saying, I just want to protect him. Like, bro, leave the kid alone. The fact that you see no problem with intimate activity with a blood relative, who by your own account looked up to you is out. outrageous. Dude, get some help. And then the O.P. replied saying, so suddenly he's a kid, I thought it doesn't matter that I'm older than him. Seriously, everyone is blowing this out of proportion. And then someone replies saying, I mean, not suddenly. Just because he's a kid doesn't mean he can't be in

control of his own life and relationships. Someone else says, you need big help. And then someone else says, we aren't making anything up. You self-admitted to manipulating your cousin and pressuring him into intimacy. And then the commenter has two words there, which I can't read, but basically sibling love and R word. If you're so sure that what you're doing is okay, I suggest you walk into a police station and show them your posts, but you won't because you know it's abusive. And then someone else says,

It's so strange listening to a predator rationalize his actions. Someone else says, what does it tell you that not a single person, not a single person on this website agrees with you? On every single one of your posts. We're probably just all out to get you, right? A complete stranger,

we've never met in our lives. Another commenter says, I'm a decade older than you. A, this isn't stalking. You posted this on a public Reddit, which was the only things that were posted about you. And B, you are extremely possessive and need to separate from your relative

for a little while in order to really think about what's going on and your actions and behaviors. This is honestly really concerning, just all of this. And then the OP was quiet for a while. But on July 13th, about a week later, he posted again on R slash, Am I the Asshole, under a new name.

This titled, Am I the Asshole if I confront my boyfriend's ex about his harassment. And it reads as follows. My boyfriend, 16 male, broke up with his ex, 19 male, a little over a week ago. At first it seemed like his ex took it well. I heard from a friend that he was already dating someone else, and my boyfriend didn't say anything. An hour ago, he showed me something on his phone, and a notification appeared. He swiped it away immediately, but I saw that it was from his ex. I asked him what it was about, and he showed me their chat.

his ex had been messaging him almost daily. He's been texting him all kinds of messed up stuff. Like saying that he would come by to talk with a threatening undertone and literally lying about and insulting me, even though nobody even knows we're dating. My boyfriend hasn't texted him back, though. My boyfriend is too shy to stand up to him, so I offered to confront him.

We are on vacation until next week, but I want to talk to him as soon as possible. How should I go about getting him to leave my boyfriend alone? Does that already qualify a stalking? If it hypothetically ended in a fight, could it be seen as self-defense because I tried to protect my boyfriend? And now let's get into the top comments.

Someone says, you're the asshole. When you say boyfriend, you mean your cousin, right? There's no way you aren't the same dude that's already created two throwaway accounts with multiple posts, where everyone thought you were creepy as fuck. And then someone else says, we know who you are.

Leave your cousin alone. O.P. is a narcissistic creep that manipulates his cousin over his own jealousy and lust. And then someone else says, hey, why did he leave out the fact that this boyfriend of yours is also your cousin? The very same cousin that you've admitted

to snooping through his phone without his permission. Consider to consider to, exposing his sexuality to his family and risk putting him in danger just for the sake of getting him and his ex-boyfriend to be separated, and then proceed to take advantage of him while he was extremely drunk by performing intimate acts on him and getting him to do the same as you. You were so fine with coming forward and revealing that this best friend you had drunkenly had intimate time with was actually your cousin, so why don't you do the same here? If you're going to continue to lie, then be smart enough to not use the exact same six letters in your user and change the details in your story.

It's so obvious that you're the same dude. And then one of the top comments is Jesus. What a terrible day to have eyes and reading comprehension. And that is the last update we have received from this whole cousin saga. but very, very disgusting and disturbing. My dad has an obsession with buying exotic or illegal animal meat and is why my family fell apart. Originally posted to R-slash relationship advice

in the post reads as follows. So my dad has always been a kind of strange guy, but I never really noticed. I was used to it, and that's just who he is. He isn't mean, but doesn't talk much. Very busy with work. Doesn't seem to be interested in anyone's life. That kind of thing.

When I was a kid, gradually our relatives stopped visiting. My dad wasn't in contact with his family, but my moms used to be around a lot. Then they stopped. I remember hearing my mom fighting with her parents a couple of times. I gathered they didn't like my dad. I haven't seen my cousin in years. We used to be closest kids.

I was never one for social media, but recently reactivated my Facebook and decided to look up some of my relatives on a whim. I messaged my cousin I was closest to. 18 female. Also my aunt, her mom. 40s female. My cousin didn't seem to know why we hadn't seen each other, but my aunt said I should ask my mom. It's quote, wasn't the sort of thing I should hear from her, my aunt. Mind you.

I'd asked my mom before a few times. She always said they were too busy to visit. I was really confused, and we ended up having a long conversation yesterday. I had to insist on a real answer. Now I am horrified at what I found out. Her family is freaked out by my dad because a few years ago, when they came for dinner, this was a bunch of people, not just my aunt and cousin, they found out that what he'd said was beef was actually kangaroo meat.

My mom had specifically gone out of her way to make the meal herself because she knew my dad had done this before. So she banned him from cooking, but he secretly swapped the meats during some point she wasn't in the kitchen. She admitted to her family he was constantly doing this to us. Yeah, now I know I've eaten a ton of gross shit he'd said was beef or chicken. And whenever I didn't like something, it's probably because it wasn't what he said. She told me that he's been obsessed with trying exotic meats for years. Now, looking back, I remember times I saw weird unlabeled meat packages in the basement freezer. I just never thought to inspect it.

She said he had spent thousands and thousands of dollars in getting them. They are rare and cost a lot, plus travel costs, and paying off his contacts to pass information about where he can find whatever he's looking for. It's driven my parents to the verge of financial ruin multiple times. My mom said they've nearly divorced a few times. I used to hear them fighting sometimes as a kid. Now I guess I know why. You're probably thinking he just has adventurous tastes and this can't be that bad. So I'll give the full picture of everything she told me. Some of the things he's had are weird to standard Americans. but I realize that might not be the so weird in other places.

The kangaroo and horse, for example, wolf, camel, shark fin soup. Some is questionable, I guess, such as something called eating seafood when it's alive, then some of it is straight up illegal. Like she said, he once killed and ate a bald eagle. He hunts normal game, which I knew, but also protected species. he's obtained bushmeat, meat from African wildlife that's illegally imported here. This includes stuff like rats, various monkeys, chimpanzees, apes, and gorillas, Pangolian, porcupine, civets, and giraffe.

From what my mom knows, he bought these from some markets in New York City that sold it in immigrant communities. It became even worse with other exotic animals. He has gone so far as to travel to other countries, specifically to hunt slash get meat from particular animals. These have included zebra, cheetah, elephant, hippo, Bengal tiger, endangered rhino, in places in Southeast Asia and Africa. He went somewhere in the Caribbean to hunt and eat dolphin, Brazil for Anaconda, My mom says that a trip he's going on next month to China is specifically to try to find a way of eating Chinese salamander and panda meat. What? These are both very endangered species.

It's seriously illegal there to kill pandas. That's not something Chinese people actually eat, but he's determined to do it. And he's been like that about some of the other ones I mentioned that are also rare or under protected status, like some of the. types of gorillas and orangutans who hears of an endangered animal and thinks, Aha, I want to eat that. What the fuck? Oh, and he also wants to go to the Antarctic to hunt penguin and whatever else is there before the ice melts.

He's already been to the Arctic and eating stuff there apparently. My mom has to snoop on his laptop to keep an eye on what he's doing since he stopped talking about it. He knows she doesn't approve, but she can't do anything. They just pretend it's not happening. And she reads his emails with contacts whenever he mentions needing to go on a trip for work. She says it sounds like these people are involved in a foreign animal trade network. He's very secretive.

She has to deliberately wait for a minute he's in the bathroom with computer logged in. She has been terrified for years that any day he's going to get arrested. They, my mom and younger siblings, rely on my dad's salary. My mom is disabled with a chronic illness and cannot work, so it would only have disability checks to get by on. There's more she didn't even tell me because it, quote, wasn't appropriate and refused when I said I could handle it, so I can only imagine what else he's done. I don't know what to do. My family is on the brink of falling apart and I never knew. I will never look at my dad the same way again.

This is really disgusting to me. My mom can't divorce him because they rely on him. She won't talk to her family about it because they just tell her to get a divorce. I know she's very anxious, but I feel like I've almost lost respect for her because she knew the whole time and never at least warned me. I'm also pretty sure she has lied to me saying we never had a cat when I was little, except I remember it and I don't remember what happened to it, which, Now I'm sick thinking. My dad maybe did something. My mom insisted I was thinking of someone else's cat,

but there is a photo of me as a little girl with that cat on my bed. I'm in college on the other side of the country and only home for a few more days. My mom made me promise to never say a word to my dad. He'd kill me. This is all so fucked up to me. I'm really worried about them and what they'll do if he's caught. Also, what the fuck is wrong with him? What can I do?

Should I confront him? Or try to convince my mom to leave? Get her family involved? It's like disarming a bomb. I don't want to do anything that would just blow everything up, but I cannot imagine him just getting to continue doing whatever he wants. Now let's get into some of the top comments on this wild post. Someone says, your dad seems mentally ill.

Not because of the weird meat, but because of the fucked up behavior around it. There are people who basically collect exotic meats or other foods by eating them. The same way others collect countries by visiting them. It can be an expensive pursuit. But he's pursuing it more like an addiction than a hobby, to the point of self-destruction. And the part where he tries to make the family complicit by sneaking rat meat into your burgers, that's a straight-up, just weird interest.

I'm going to guess getting him into his. to a psychotherapy is probably a no-go, but he needs it. And then the OPE responds to this saying, that's a good point that it could just be a thing about novel experiences. But the illegal part is what gets to me. It's not illegal to travel or try a bunch of foods and restaurants. He's eating and sometimes killing species he's not supposed to and buying some of the meat on a black market or bringing it in himself.

That part is really crazy to me. And yeah, I'm seriously sickened by the thought of what I might have eaten because of him. I want to help my mom, but I also hate that she let this go on. And I feel like I can't trust either of them now. She didn't mention anything about therapy. I couldn't bring it up without him knowing, I know, and my mom said I can't do that. She implied he could become violent. I don't know exactly, but it freaked me out.

Someone else says, from the first paragraph, is he autistic and this is his obsession? Or is he more psychopathic, i.e. no empathy and doesn't give a shit about anyone? And the OP response saying, not autistic, at least there's no reasons to think so. Psychopath, well, after finding out all of this, I couldn't say. I mean, this is truly one of the most wild threads I have ever. seen like this guy's just going around collecting illegal animal meat and eaten and that's his hobby or obsession that is truly insane another commenter says this makes me wonder if he's ever eaten human i can't imagine it's unavailable and if he's killing a protected species well

we are animals too i'd be scared to be anywhere around him ever again and then someone replies to that saying, I was thinking that. As soon as OP said their mom wouldn't tell them everything, I was like, oh, he's eating people. And then the OP gave us an update one month later. Let's get into it. Well, shit's really fucked up now. A couple of days after I posted, I went back to school.

And a few days after that, my mom called me. She'd woken up to him gone and an email saying, quote, had to leave for China earlier than expected, siding some issue at his company. That's around when the virus was breaking out. Yeah. He took off as soon as he got word something was happening in case it was going to prevent his trip, my mom thinks. But it gets worse because apparently, with increased security,

there's something that looked suspicious and he was detained last week. In China during this outbreak. My mom had federal agents coming to interview. her that was Friday and just for context this was posted February 2nd 2020 so the very beginning of the pandemic but let's continue they had a warrant to search the apartment didn't take anything because he'd brought all his electronics with him she says she was told they have reason to believe he's involved in an international animal trafficking and poaching ring wow holy shit this is crazy. She hasn't had any contact with him yet because whoever's holding him isn't granting it.

We don't even know exactly where he is if it was near Wuhan or in a prison or what. She was just told she needed to cooperate and his safety was being handled. Obviously, there's probably a lot more than they're saying because it's a serious crime and I imagine diplomatic relations are tense at this moment. But honestly, he put himself there. The Chinese authorities have every. reason to arrest him. My mom has shared what she knows with the American agents. Some of the stuff I said in my last post. I told her to get a lawyer because who knows if even knowing about that stuff

and not reporting it is a crime too. My dad deserves this, but my mom had no part in what he was doing. If something happens to her, I don't know what's going to happen with my siblings. I'm really scared for my family and furious with my dad for doing this to us. Plus, Trump's travel ban means it's going to be way more difficult to work everything out so he could be sitting there waiting for trial for a long time. Even if they flew him back for a trial, he'll be in quarantine for two weeks. I feel like I'm watching my family's life collapse in slow motion. I'm seriously considering taking a leave this semester,

and going home to try to help my mom. She's practically having a mental break. She decided not to tell my siblings the real reason dad is gone, so their imaginations are running wild. I've reached out to my aunt again, but she hasn't seen the messages yet. I don't really trust my mom to manage finding a good lawyer and dealing with this and taking care of my siblings all at the same time.

On top of it, her chronic illness has flared up from the stress. she spent all yesterday in bed from the pain. So that's where we are now. Ficked. I didn't get a chance to take the advice on my last post about where to report them, was doing my research first, but that turned out not to matter.

Thank you to everyone who wished the best for my family. We could really use it. And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says, I should think your university would be very sympathetic to you postponing your course. They don't even need to know the full details. The fact your father has been detained in China and the pandemic outbreak should be

ample. In terms of everyone, dad took a business trip to China and has got caught up in the quarantine. Just go with that for now. There really is very little you can do right now, even with lawyers. It sounds like the authorities are already on the case. Your mother just needs to cooperate and beyond that, keep busy at home. None of you can get your father out at this point. And the O.P. responds saying, thinking I'll say something like this. There's no media attention on him as far as I've been able to tell, so just saying business trip should work. I'm going to speak to my mom again tomorrow and offer to come home for however long she needs. Someone else says, your family should definitely get tested for diseases.

That's probably the most important thing to do at this time. And the OP responded saying, oh god that didn't occur to me thanks and uh just wow i feel so bad for the op in their family because they seem like a nice people and their dad is just a complete crazy guy who's going around all the world killing and eating exotic meats like what this is especially like the timing of this like he went to china right before the pandemic started i mean like the precipice of the pandemic, February of 2020. So who knows if he ever even got out? Because like, I mean, there was a travel lockdown for a long, long time after that. He could have been in China for a long, long time. But truly, this is one of the most insane posts I have ever read. Wow. Someone else says,

I remember your first post. I have no sympathy for him at all. He deserves the full law to hit his ass, he selfishly caused you and your family this turmoil, and his greed had no boundaries. He won't learn from this. He's just one problem in the bigger problem. So they need to get everyone else to sickening what he has done. See if you can hold off your studies to help your mom, and hopefully this cruel saga will end. Someone else says, I remember reading your first post and distinctly thinking that his behavior was going to come around. and bite him in the ass hard.

Welp, here he is. Dealing with what was a long time coming. While I agree with being there for your mom as emotional support, I strongly recommend you stop there. You really don't want to get tangled up in the international legal issue where, let's be honest, he's most likely guilty of everything that you listed. You have your own future and your own livelihood to deal with. He knew he was playing with fire.

It just took him until now. to now to get burnt. And that is the last update we have ever received from the OP because since then, the OPE's account has since been banned and it's been six years now and we have no update in sight. So who knows what happened, but man, what's an insane thread. Someone broke into my sister's car, reversed parked it, and left a note to call him anytime to help. Originally posted to R slash RBI and let's get into the post.

Last night, my sister parked her car in her apartment building, just like any other day. This morning, she found it reverse parked in the same exact spot. No signs of entry with a note on the windshield. And the OP links a picture to the note she found and it says, Hey, Saw you parked the wrong way. turned your car around for you, call me anytime, glad to help. And then a blacked out part,

which I guess is a phone number. But that's wild. I'm very interested to see how this goes. Someone broke into the car to reverse park it? That is beyond weird. And then the OPE continues, obviously she freaked out and went to the police. They told her they could not do anything

because the car showed no signs of being broken into. And neither the car or anything in it had been stolen. Taking matters into her own hands, my sister called the number on the note, and it went direct to voicemail. She found out the name of the guy whose number it is. Searched it on a database of the gym she works at Intervie University and found him. We know it's a male student at her school, and we have his picture, email, and phone number. My sister's car is a Kia Soul, 2019 brand new. Her spare keys are in a secure location with her passport.

Now, I just really need some advice on the steps moving forward. Although my sister swears she locked the car, it's possible that this guy just walked into it if she didn't. But how did he move it? If he went through the trouble of hot wiring it, just to repark it, is he just a really good Samaritan? Should we actually contact him, or would that be unwise because, based on the entire event, he seems like a huge creep.

And yeah, I agree. There's no way this is a good Samaritan. And if they are good Samaritan, they're a crazy good Samaritan, and you still don't want to be associated with them. I mean, like, that's beyond crazy for someone to see a car reverse the wrong way, break into it, hotwire it, turn it around, take nothing. That is just beyond weird. But let's continue because the OP gives us an update.

So let's get into that. Hey, guys, thank you so much to those who commentating, gave us great suggestions, my sister ended up going to the University Police Department this evening, and an officer there actually paid attention. On the note, earlier today, my sister drafted to send to the number on the note. Basically, it said that police have been contacted and to back off. My boyfriend, who lives in another state, sent it. Phone number person responded something to the likes of, quote, I think you have the wrong number. We sent him the picture of the notes, and he was like, what the fuck.

Obviously, he could be lined through his teeth, but given the rhetoric of the note, this wouldn't have been the response of whoever wrote it. Back to the cops on the note. They called the person whose number was on the note, and he denied any connection to the event. He said he lived in that same apartment building last year. We still have no idea who did this. On the mysterious car reversal. After that, the officer called my sister's apartment building.

When my sister spoke to them, they told her. nothing. Straight up dismissed her. On the phone with the cop, they said my sister's car had been towed, or actually, it had been mistakenly towed because they hadn't seen her permit sticker. After successfully towing the vehicle, they realized the sticker was there. So they put it back, just facing the other way. Mystery solved, ish. This entire freak out was about a potentially creepy dude with access to her car. Now it's just about a creepy dude who left a note on a car that had just been moved. We are waiting on further investigations on whether the creepy note was left by the driver, some creepy passerby with a vendetta against phone number dude, or even phone number dude trying

to hit on my sister. In any case, the best case scenario ish turned out to be true. I probably wouldn't have pushed my sister to go to a different police station or even the university-specific one had it not been for you guys. So thank you. Hoping we don't find that the note was written by a creepy stalker. But at least he doesn't have direct access to her car. And that is the last update we have ever received from the O.P. And this was seven years ago,

so I don't think we're going to get one anytime soon. But just such a weird situation. Obviously it makes sense if the tow truck guy came, mistakenly towed it, saw that the person actually had the permit, put it back, but why would some random passer buyer leave a note

or who was the person with the phone number? Like there's so many like things going on, it's like why? It's just super, super weird in my opinion, but what do you guys think? Like, who do you think left the note or why did they leave the note or what? Because I'm truly puzzled

and unfortunately, like I said, we don't have an update to go off of. My uncle is acting strangely with my sister. To be blunt, I noticed that my uncle, 49 male, has been paying a lot of attention to my sister, 14 female. It's not just that he gives her more gifts or just prefers her, but whenever we show up to his house for a family event or just something similar,

he always talks about how she looks and is doing stuff like patting her lower back, rubbing her shoulders, or he'll grab her waist without warning. His gifts for her are also more expensive. It was fine at first. He was at my sister's birth and was one of the first to hold her. So she's always been his favorite to an extent, and he's always spoiled her. But it's like I blinked and he's suddenly acting like this. I don't know exactly when he started acting differently with her,

but I noticed it a week ago, and we haven't been to his house since then. I've tried talking to my grandma about it, but she just brushes it off, and my parents are always too busy. I'm also scared of telling our other excited family because of the fact my grandma brushed me off the first time. What should I do?

Because I don't want to just ignore it, but I'm also scared of telling anyone in case I'm overreacting. And then the OPE makes an update or edit one hour later in the edit reads, this isn't really an update, but for the comments who asked, I haven't talked to my sister about it yet, but I'm planning to do so later. We are at our grandma's house right now, and considering our grandma brushed it off what I said, I don't want to cause too much of a fuss if she ends up hearing me bring it up again.

I'm also planning to talk to our parents as soon as we get home. All your comments, drilling it into my head that I had to tell them helped. Thank you for helping me, not be a coward. and for your guys as support in general. And now let's get into some of the top comments on this post. Someone says, did you tell your parents? And the OP responds saying, I've tried, but they both work and are frequently out of the house. So I haven't been able to really talk to them about it.

Someone else asks, do you literally never see them? It only takes like 30 seconds to tell them. And the OP responds, they work in the early morning up until nighttime. I'm usually at school or on the weekends. at her grandma's house. It's why I told her grandma first because I thought she would be able to tell my parents, since they'd probably listen to her better than me. Another commenter says,

Are your parents kind people? Do they have narcissistic tendencies? I'm asking because I grew up with a mother that was not all there and definitely had narcissistic traits. Perhaps leaned towards schizoid and a father that often tried to avoid all people and simply work and be alone a lot of the time. And the O.P. response saying, I don't really understand what you mean,

but my parents do work a lot, and they aren't abusive to me or my siblings. I just think they're overworked and don't have the time to worry about us. And then another commenter says, just curious, how old are you O.P? I'd rather say something and be wrong than not say anything and be right.

In the O.P. response saying, I'm 16 and I agree. I'm just scared that I might be making a bit big deal out of nothing because what I've seen, accusations like this do to people. And then the OP makes an update 13 hours later. And let's get into the update. Hi, I'm not sure if I'm doing this correctly, but I've seen people do updates this way before, so I'll just do it this way. First things first, thank you for everyone for your comments and giving me advice. Second, I talked to my sister as soon as we got home from our grandmas and

Turns out, she's aware that it's weird, but actually liked it at first. She said that her uncle is nicer to her than our parents and that the gifts are nice. She said that she only started feeling uncomfortable when he began to make physical contact, specific actions mentioned in my previous post. But that, because she's been accepting all his gifts for her, she thought it might be rude to start saying no now. I asked her when it started, and she revealed he started making physical contact in that way when she turned 12. She said that he only did it when they were in her room.

Since we visit so often, our uncle and aunts have set guest rooms for me and my siblings. And that was the reason why she has no locks on her door specifically. She also said that she was scared of telling anyone that she was weirded out by his behavior, because both our grandma and aunt brushed it off when she was 12, saying that she's always been his favorite and that she was probably just misreading everything he was doing because she's a teenager now. I showed her your comments.

She's never heard of the word. I can't say this word on YouTube, but what do you do to a dog to clean it and get it cleaned up? You groom it, that sort of thing. Before, so she was pretty shocked and a little angry saying that our uncle would never do something like that, but I managed to convince her to tell our parents about our uncle together, even if it was just to ask them to stop him from making physical contact.

I've also sent texts to our parents about it, detailing that my sister is uncomfortable with how our uncle behaves with her, but our parents have yet to respond to any of the texts I've sent about our uncle, and I've just texted that. We'll talk about it when we get home. They're both working late today, and won't be home by nighttime probably. And the OP makes a comment under her own post saying,

My sister said that she talked to her aunt about it, but she brushed it off like our grandma did, and I'm not sure if I should bring it up to her again for the video recording. I don't want to let my sister be in a situation where she has to be physically touched again on purpose in order for us to get something, but I also don't want to say anything without having proof. I'm still figuring it out, but thank you,

all for the advice. And then the OP makes another update the next day. Let's get into that. I'm sorry if this isn't allowed moderators, but I'm just really confused, but also really angry right now and don't know how to fix that. Our parents got home an hour ago, and me and my sister talked with them. In short, my mom was pissed and my dad was surprised, but he also revealed something. Turns out that he knew our uncle, his brother for context, had been acting weirdly with my sister,

but didn't do anything because, quote, didn't think he'd ever try anything with his kids, and that he thought he'd changed. He said that our uncle had done something with one of my cousins a few years before. My sister was born. My grandma was the one who caught him and got him into therapy. Our dad said that our grandma made her uncle promise not to do it again in order for them. not to report him. Our aunt, this specific uncle's wife, is also aware of this, but, according to our dad, she said that our cousin had tempted him with how she dressed around the house.

Our dad said, that's why that specific cousin doesn't talk with the rest of the family. My mom apparently didn't know this, and they argued. She threatened divorce and a restraining order against his entire family if our dad doesn't only tell our uncle to back off but also report him to the police our dad doesn't want to and last i heard he's calling our grandma i'm sorry that this is a complete mess i don't know what else to do and i'm stressed out of my mind my sister looks okay right now though so that's all that matters to me at the moment it feels like my life is falling apart because our uncle, and at this point, I'm starting to feel like beating them up

is the only way to fix everything I know that it's not and that's irrational, but I'm just so angry. I also mentioned telling the police or counselors at school like you guys said, but she doesn't want to. She says she's embarrassed about it and she said that they'd just blame her

because she let it go for two years, even though I told her that she didn't do anything wrong and was just scared. She wouldn't budge. And now let's get into some comments. Someone says, do you have any contact info for that estranged cousin? It might be helpful for your sister to speak to them about it.

And the O.P. Respond saying, I met that cousin only once and I was really young back then. I haven't heard anything about her since aside from the info that her dad shared, I'm thinking of trying to contact her, but I don't know how to do that. Someone else says, your uncle is a pervert and your dad is a wimp who offered your sister up to a pervert. I hope your mom divorces him because he has not only allowed your sister to be harmed. He encouraged it by giving your uncle access to her and covering up his past. Even now, he won't choose his kids and protect them.

He is worse than your uncle, in my opinion. And then some in response to that saying, the entire family is a group of enablers and actually are more worried about their image than protecting children. Dad is pathetic to not stand up to his family. He should have done more to protect his kids. He should have never allowed his children around the uncle. This information should have been shared with mom. Instead, he lived in denial, thinking his brother was magically fixed and would listen to his mom.

Like he decided to ignore all the behaviors and actions of his brother, then to do what was right. If dad won't report uncle, mom needs to. Don't leave it to him because grandma and aunt already brushed sister off when she was 12. and allowed it to continue. They victim blame instead of holding Uncle accountable. O.P., you have done what is right. Your sister should probably get therapy to work through her experiences and feeling around what has happened to her.

I'm glad you are there for her to support her and make sure this ended. And then the OPE makes an update three days later and the update reads as follows. I'm sorry I haven't updated for a bit. A lot has been going on and I've been a little out of my mind trying to remember everything so I could put it down here. In short, my mom and dad are divorcing.

And my mom brought me and my other siblings, including my sister, back to her parents' house for the time being until it goes through. My mom's parents are really old, but they're really fun. So my sister and other younger siblings like being here, even though there's everything's a big mess right now. too big has happened, but I want you guys to know that my mom signed my sister up for therapy. I told her mom about the fact my sister doesn't want to tell the police or anything, and our mom is planning on telling the police herself. Our mom is also trying to go through on the restraining order, but it's taken a while, so she's trying for a temporary one for now,

until she can file out a permanent one. Our mom and dad both worked full time, but now that my mom is taking care of five kids by herself while working, she's been really stressed out and tired. Her parents help, but like I said, they are super old and can't really do much on their own. No information on our cousin at this point, so our mom is super swamped.

Sorry, this isn't a good update. I don't know what's been going on with her dad and his side of the family, but our mom told us not to worry and that she'll handle it. Thank you again for everyone who took the time to read my posts and give me advice. I think I'd be pretty helpless without it, so thank you. This is just more of a life right now kind of update than anything too big.

I'm not too sure what to do right now since our mom is trying to handle everything on her own, so I'll edit this post if anything comes up. And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says, no opi. This is a positive update. Your mom has got you guys out to a safe place. well away from the pervert uncle and away from your pathetic dad and evil grandma who would just try and gaslight and manipulate you and your sister to keep quiet.

Your mom is a great woman and you are an amazing sister for stepping up and supporting her. Just try and help your mom and good grandparents and know you did the right thing helping to expose this. Another commenter says this is a good update. I'm sorry that your dad let you all down. I can't imagine the pain you're all feeling right now. Fathers are supposed to protect us. I am so glad that your mom is handling this the way she is. Bravo to mom.

I hope that the restraining order is approved quickly and that you all find healing through therapy. You are a very brave woman and I'm so proud of you. And then another commenter says, I know it doesn't feel like a good update right now, but it absolutely is. Your mom is incredible and doing exactly what she should be doing

in the situation. The best thing you can do is to be there for your sister. And when it comes up, remind her that it's not her fault and your uncle is the messed up one for making her think that. Be there for your mom too if you can.

Even if it's just thanking her for protecting you all. It's going to be hard for a little while. But you have each other. Be gentle with yourself too. It might feel like your fault everything blew up, but just like it's not your sister's fault, it's not yours either. You didn't mess things up by telling your uncle did this by his actions. He deserves 100% of the blame. And then the OPE makes another update about a week later. Let's get

into it. I'm sorry this took so long. Not a lot has actually happened, but considering I talk a lot in these posts, this will probably be long. I've been rereading all of the comments and advice people gave me over and over again, so thank you again for taking the time to read my family's bullshit. Our mom and dad's divorce is still going through the system, so they're still legally together, but our mom's already gotten a good chunk of me in my sibling's stuff and brought it to her parents' house.

Our dad's tried calling her mom at first, but since she doesn't respond, he's been calling me. For the last few days, it's gone from him, saying sorry to asking how I'm doing to getting mad that I said something. He says that it wasn't my business to meddle with adult business and that he, our grandma and aunt had it under control. Our mom started taking my phone away after the call started, so that's one of the reasons I haven't updated for a while. Sorry again for that. Our cousin, the one our uncle also physically violated, also called us through her mom's phone yesterday. She's older now, and she was really awkward when she started

but eventually talked about this stuff our uncle did to her at the time. When he started doing all the stuff he did, my sister hadn't been born yet. She said that she cut off our dad's family after my sister was born because she found out that our dad had let our uncle meet her, saying that the fact our dad let him even be a part of her their lives still disgusted her.

She also said that she never reported him because she says that she would have relived everything, and though she didn't really go into detail, said that he did a lot more to her than how he was with my sister. This cousin is also our dad's other brother's kid. I should have said so a while ago, but didn't think it mattered much. Sorry. For some lighter news, my sister's birthday is in a few days from now. She'll be 15. She says the therapist, our mom got her, is really nice. And though the lady is a little scary to her sometimes, she says that she's nice to her. I've also been learning to cook food

that don't just use the microwave in putting my younger siblings to bed. They're all old enough to do it themselves to an extent, but I help still sometimes. My sister is also journaling too, but she mostly just draws anime in them, L.O.L. My other younger siblings are also having fun, and though they don't really understand what's happening,

they know that. With her mom's explanation, our uncle did something really bad and that our dad was okay with it, so that's why we aren't living at home anymore. Sorry, this is so long. This was supposed to be just an edit, but I saw how long it was,

and it would probably be a little annoying to read, so I just made it into a separate post. I'm also sorry if this is hard to follow. I'm typing this out at night, and I'm really tired, so sorry. And now let's get into the top comment. Someone says, also just want to throw out there that your sister can always consider finding a different therapist,

who could be a better fit. It's always important to feel comfortable with therapists, trust instead of fear of them, so that we can share more openly and find the support we need. And the OP responds saying, My sister was scared of her at first. She says that she has a really serious face,

but she's actually nice to her, but thanks for the advice. And then the OP gives us one final update a few months later. Let's get into it. I didn't think I'd ever. ever post here again. But with everyone helping me back then, I felt that all of you deserved an update from me. My sister died a few months after my last post. No, it wasn't anyone from the

rest of the family after what happened. The judge made sure none of them ever got near us again. I won't go into any details, but she wasn't getting better as quickly as I thought she was. even though she was laughing going to a therapist and acting like herself again she was hurting badly and didn't want to tell anyone i feel like i failed her had i seen it sooner or stopped it faster or checked up on her more or try and help her more maybe she wouldn't have done that she used to ask me if it was her fault or if it was better if she hadn't said anything i always told her no but now I know I should have tried harder. All I can think about is the fact she was suffering because of her uncle for almost her entire

life. And I didn't see it. And then even a year later, she was struggling and I couldn't see it. All I keep thinking about is the baby victories I used to celebrate, the fact she could be around her mom's dad without being uncomfortable or that she was okay sleeping by herself again. but now it all feels like I was just doing nothing to help her get any better and it feels like I just tricked myself

into thinking that everything would be okay when in reality my sister was suffering again and all I could think is that is how useless I was in protecting her this time sometimes I wish I was where she was I hope she's somewhere

where no one will ever hurt her again mom talked about this all the time in therapy I should have seen this coming, but I didn't. And I failed her, and I'm sad and so angry because it feels like even though my dad, aunt, uncle, and grandma didn't ever violate her again, it feels like they killed her. I wish I could tell them now that they're the reason she can never go to college, or that even after everything, she didn't want them to get hurt sometimes. I wish that it were me instead of her, so that she never had to. deal with all of that in the first place and did what she did there all days. I think about going with my mom, but mom is a wreck and my other younger siblings can't handle it,

so I have to be here. I'm sorry that if the format is bad. I just wanted you all to know. My husband got fired for harassing a coworker and won't talk to me about it. My husband Charlie and I have been together for 10 years, married for 6. We've had our ups and downs, but are currently in and up. He has never done anything like this in the past. So it came out of left field for me, and I'm very much shocked and at a loss here.

Charlie is a computer programmer and was a senior engineer at his former company, where he had worked for four years. He never had any trouble with coworkers and were both friendly with a few of them, mostly other men and their wives. On Friday of last week, he came home around 11 a.m. and told me he'd been fired. He was really upset and agitated, and I didn't want to push him about it. But he told me that they'd said he was harassing a coworker and was fired, the information I've been able to get out of him. The co-worker is Beth, a junior engineer who he's never mentioned to me before. He said she's terrible at her job. Beth slept with a senior engineer we were both friendly with, Darren.

Darren wasn't involved in the harassment, wasn't fired, etc. The company's lawyers were there and among the things they told him was that Beth could have pressed charges but chose not to. Something happened with her car, but he won't say what. His exact words were, there was something with her car. He was escorted off the premises and is not allowed back. in the building to get his belongings and instead has to arrange with security to pick them up after business hours as far as anything else goes he won't give me any details he isn't interested in seeing a lawyer because he says everything is legal he has basically admitted to sending beth some emails but won't say what they said or anything like that i don't know if beth sleeping with darren had to do with it

but the fact that he gave me that detail makes me think it does. I'm not sure how it relates. Darren is a very nice single man who is in his late 20s in approximately the same age as Beth. My mind is running wild here. Charlie has been depressed and withdrawn all weekend. Won't talk to me about it. And won't talk much in general.

I work remotely, so I was home all day with him and he played video games all day and then went to bed at six The fact that he won't tell me anything and isn't interested in seeing a lawyer makes me think that it's bad. It makes me worry that everything is true and not just a misunderstanding or a small thing blown out of proportion. He has never been flirtatious with other women or cruel to them. And he's never said anything bad about other women engineers he works with.

I don't know what to do here. My instinct is to be supportive of my husband, but I don't know what kind of behavior I'd be supporting. I don't want to run to his coworkers we know and ask them, since they're more our friends than my friends. And while we spend time together at get-togethers or bars, I'm not close with them in an immediate sense. I don't know what to do about helping someone who is so depressed and won't talk to me. And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says, I would tell him you have to assume the worst if he won't be honest with you. I've got to say, he must have done some bad shit to be escorted off the premises with no warning like that.

Either he was hating on her and went over the top, or he tried to be intimate with her and went over the top. Or he tried to F her and then hated on her. Edit, reread, I'm guessing he tried to F her. her, sent crazy emails, and vandalized her car. He could easily still be charged criminally and or sued. Someone replies to this saying, I've worked at larger companies and when they fire people, sometimes they're walked right out of the building. The reason it is, is they don't want the fired person to make a scene and rock the boat. It's heartless in my opinion, but it does happen.

something tells me Opie's husband did something terrible because lawyers were there and apparently the girl could have pressed charges. That is very unusual. My guess is Opie's husband got jealous that Darren was sleeping with Beth and not him as he had a crush on Beth for a while and he flipped out and went all nice guy on her. He mentioned there are emails so there is evidence in writing as well.

This does not bode well for OP. Another commenter says, seen as it got so far that he's been fired and doesn't want to fight it, sounds like the allegations are probably true. The fact that he brings up Darren makes it seem like he's harassed her as a result of some sort of jealousy. Does he usually shut down conversations on things? Does he usually keep things from you? I'd be very cautious about what he's hiding and what it means for you in your relationship. Even if it's a lot of it's, not intimate and it's just plain old harassment, do you want to be with a grown man who harasses young women to the point he gets fired? And then the OP gives us an update the next day, and the update

reads as follows. My thread was locked before I was able to respond to any of the comments, but I was able to read them this morning. I got up at 5.30 to go to the gym before work, and my husband was still awake playing video games. I presented him with the very good idea. Someone suggested of sending me an email with the details, but that it wasn't acceptable to shut me out of the situation, since it affects me too. His response was basically, the paperwork is in my car. Go get it if you want to read it. I asked him to go get it so we could look at it together and he said, you're going to believe what you want anyway. All of this is unusual for a marriage because I'm a pretty patient person, I think.

We went out to the car together and he got in his car, handed me the papers, and left. For about two hours, I was panicked because I didn't know where he went. If he was okay, if he was thinking of doing something to himself. But his mother texted me at 9 saying he is over there, asking me what happened, if everything is okay, etc. His parents live about 15 minutes away and I guess he told her he's going to be staying there. So, the paperwork. According to the paperwork, he sent her multiple harassing emails from anonymous email accounts.

The emails are printed out and attached. He apparently did this while at work, and they have been monitoring his user account for three months. The emails aren't intimate or romantic in nature and are all anonymous and about how she sucks at her job. Wouldn't be there if she wasn't a woman, how she should quit before she gets fired, and how everyone in the office hates her. He made fake user accounts for his company's product that she works on and submitted bad reviews of her work. He also did this while logged in at work.

He sent an anonymous email to her boss saying that she was sleeping with a senior engineer on another project. He put a gun catalog on the windshield of her car. I don't know what this gesture means, but I obviously understand that it was meant to be threatening. Unfortunately, inside was a subscription card that the company auto filled with his name and address. She also says she has been harassed for the same length of time

about three months on Twitter. He only logged into one Twitter account that harassed her at work, so they can only say one was him, all telling her to quit her job. So I don't know what to do now. This is all terrifying to me. and I feel so bad for this woman. I have no idea what this is all about.

He works with other women engineers, and he has worked with male engineers who don't pull their weight, and he's never done anything like this. I would have bet a million dollars that he'd never do anything like this. He's at his parents right now, and I don't know what my next move here could possibly be. This is so scary and out of left field to me. And then the OP adds some more context in the comments saying,

I forgot to mention. This paperwork is copied from the original and was signed by both him and his company. I don't know if that's a full admission, but it seems damning either way. And then someone replies to this saying, Time to sit your husband down and give an ultimatum. He needs to give you his side of the story or you two are done. This is clearly a jekyll and hide thing going on. Someone else comments saying,

your husband needs serious therapy. What you describe is absolutely abhorrent behavior. If he is unwilling to get help about this or do anything to convince you that he understands how wrong what he did is, you should seriously consider getting as far away from this man as you can. What he did is evil. And it has been seven years, since the last update.

So I don't think we're going to get an update anytime soon, but I'm curious what the OP ended up doing. Did the OP try to salvage the relationship? Did the OP divorce their husband? Or what happened? Because what the OP's husband did is completely wrong. I mean, putting a gun catalog on her windshield, like that is extremely, extremely unhinged and deranged.

Like, that is just a threat, like threatening to, like, obviously, do something extreme, possibly with a gun. And so that is unhinged, and let alone all of the other harassment. It's not okay. But the husband is absolutely deranged. It is clear as day. And I'm just very curious as to what the OP did and whether or not they left their husband. But what do you guys think?

O.P. is in a psychology graduate program with a predator slash gaslighter training to be a counselor. Let's get into it. We're in a professional graduate program for psychology and in our early to mid-20s. I met him. I'll call him Nate at the start of the academic year and thought he was very put together, charming, and sensitive. He was very good at group exercises when we practiced counseling skills. He had away with words and came off as deeply compassionate.

it. When we first met, I got a strange feeling from him that I couldn't quite put my finger on. However, he was a super charismatic guy with a trusting face and dazzling smile, so I felt my guard come down. One weekend, we are drinking and watching movies at a mutual friend's house with a small group of people. Nate was very flirty with me and wanted to take shots with me in particular, which my friend, Mia, noticed. I was later told that he was saying how bad he wanted to hook up with me. By midnight, I was admittedly very drunk and warm and wanted to go change out of my sweater. While I was completely topless, I saw someone walk by out of the corner of my eye. Thinking it was just someone walking to the bathroom, I didn't pay much attention. But then I noticed

the person came back and peered through the doorway. Fortunately, Mia had come to check on me moments before and saw him looking into the room while I was unclothed. She blocked me from view and yelled at him to get out. I was confused because I thought I had imagined it even though Mia saw him too. Nate later said that I misperceived the situation and I believed it and buried the incident. Before you judge me or anyone else for not coming forward sooner, just know that this man is the king of gaslighting and was able to manipulate all of our professors who are experienced doctors of psychology.

After the night, Mia told me why she didn't want to let me go alone when I left to change. Weeks before, she had been at a party with Nate where he took advantage of a drunk girl who could barely walk straight. He would have R-worded her, but his roommate heard what was going on and stopped him. Apparently, they argued with him for an hour before he agreed to leave the barely conscious girl alone. Then, another woman came forward. She was in a relationship with Nate for two months and set boundaries in their intimate life because she was saving herself for marriage. She said she didn't even realize they were having intimacy and didn't want to be.

to, but was told by Nate that this was normal and how relationships worked. Another classmate who was emotionally vulnerable at the time dated Nate for four weeks and said that he constantly projected, gaslighted, and manipulated her. When she confronted him about the concern she had about his alleged behavior towards women, not knowing the severity of it, he berated her for being abusive to him for, quote, bringing up things that happened years ago, which, is a line used on multiple women. It makes me think he has past allegations beyond this.

He justifies all of his behavior, no matter how egregious and claims that he is actually the victim. The only person that tried to stand up to Nate, his roommate who stopped the S.A. on that woman, was discredited and retaliated against by him. He made sure no one would take her seriously and intimidated slash manipulated her and staying quiet and not reporting the incident. He has lied to and deceived people trying to discredit his victims and uses people's personal information and compassion against them. Unfortunately, the professors and managers only see the mask he wears and all love him. I am honestly scared

of Nate and believe he is gaining the power of psychology to take advantage of vulnerable people and fulfill his own ego. I know in my gut that he will continue to hurt women, including future patients and students. He has his next hunting ground set too. He was appointed the training assistant of a counseling skills class where first year students disclose personal info

in order to practice therapy skills. Most of his students will be young, compassionate women who won't know what hit them. I am terrified. So I brought this information, along with witnesses and tons of hard evidence to the misconduct committee. They are taking it very seriously, and it sounds like this motherfucker actually might be expelled and unable to practice psychology in the nation.

This would be the best outcome. However, he was tipped off that women in our class, including me, are involved in a report against him. He is emotionally unstable and has a history of retaliation. So that's not great. He has already sent me a text saying that he needs to talk to me before things get out of hand. Right now he thinks there is no way he'll be held accountable for his actions. I truly think he believes he's done nothing wrong, but he has no idea how stronger case is. He's going to find out he's screwed when they notify him of the formal claim. Then it's a matter of time before he finds out I initiated the process that's going to bring him down.

Kind of scary, but kind of worth it. Nate is the ultimate wolf in sheep's clothing, and it's terrifying to think he could have become a counselor with that much power over vulnerable women. I can't believe a person like this exists, and I'm so glad so many women have come forward to stop him. And now let's get into some of the top comments. Someone says, who tipped him off on who was reporting him? That's a very important question. How does he know? It's important because you and I both know that psychology is a heavily female field,

but the majority of those in charge are men, just like in education, just like in health professions, just like in most female majority industries. Question why he was chosen for the teaching, an assistant position, were other just a qualified candidates applying? Is the person or committee that chose him a part of who has received a report against him? Did you apply or one of the reporting women?

Was it not even an application process? Look at his connections with everyone involved in the process, including the people in charge of the people. I work for a community college health professions department. Not as rigorous as your program, obviously. but there are many similarities. The biggest is how the men in the program are treated. If you watch, the men will lead discussions more often, especially about anything female-oriented.

Will be prompted for an opinion more, often by professors and students alike. We'll frequently become in charge of whatever extracurricular activities are going on, or if not, in charge, they will act like it, or get close to whoever is in charge. They treat professors very different than other students. I suspect he is probably almost superingly differential to the professors, but if you want, he will probably still do things the way he wanted and spin that he misunderstood or know that's definitely what was discussed.

We think professors should surely notice, especially psych professors. But in my experience, there's just too much to do in the day to notice student behaviors when they are being. easy. Don't automatically assume he will get punished. Not if he found out before he was officially told about the reports, and definitely not if he was told by whom the reports were made. Question everything. Keep a log of connections. You say you have solid evidence. Is it just recounts for other people? Because nine times out of 10, that's not good enough. The school will pass it off as a police issue, and police will say it's a type of.

I-X issue and it'll disappear. You're awesome and badass about all of this, but I don't trust colleges as far as I can throw them. Working for one, even just a community college has taught me not to. If it's a public and state-funded school, they will avoid scandal to keep funding. If it's private, they will do anything to keep a tuition-paying student on board. Be careful. Don't automatically trust anyone involved in the report and be safe. And also, the greatest revenge for someone being a gross human being is to be awesome. So do your best in your program. Psychology has at least 50% intuition and you have a solid gut instinct.

You'll go far. And then the OPEE responds to this saying, Thanks for your reply. To clarify, he was tipped off by a friend of, one of the survivors slash victims. The survivor wanted to warn her friend because she also knew Nate. Since Nate used preemptive strikes to protect his reputation in case someone came forward, the friend believed that people were just out to get him.

So she warned him that a group of women were filing a report, but no other details. The evidence we have include a ton of documented communication, including him admitting guilt. messages also document his toxic narcissistic emotionally abusive tendencies towards women it's a small program and quite liberal the only way for him to get out of this with zero punishment is if the title iex committee determines the victims are lying which i don't believe they would do i don't want to assume the best outcome will happen but odds are in our favor someone else says this guy sounds like Ted Bundy. Decent looking guy using his looks and charm to get what he wants as well as being manipulative? How sick to go into a profession so you can also prey on women possibly.

This guy, deaf needs to be stopped. Don't forget there's a power in numbers, and the other girl that came forward is an asset here. I would write something anonymously to every professor as well as the dean. If you don't feel comfortable with them knowing who did it, it, but I would sign all three names, including your friend Mia, that he is a danger. Hold nothing back either. You could be saving countless women from having their lives ruined.

It's so disheartening and sickening to read things like this. And then we don't hear from the OP in about a year and a half. And then we finally get an update, like I said, a year and a half later. So let's get into the update. reading back on this post is like I'm reading someone else's writing. There was too much I didn't know and was not prepared for. So much happened after this that it deserves its own post. The long story short, another survivor, Sophia, not real name,

and I went forward and participated in a title IX misconduct hearing against Nate. The university found him in violation of multiple misconduct violations including SA non-consensual intimacy in Sophia's case and S-H in mine. For reasons unknown, they went against the recommended sanction for SA, which is expulsion, and gave him a four-year university suspension. My guess is that they did this to protect him under FERPA, F-E-R-P-A, I don't know what that stands for, which would therefore protect the institution. Also, the friend who tipped him off about the investigation

was, in fact, the classmates who was, quote, emotionally vulnerable at the time. Turns out she was a secondary aggressor who was in an off-again-on-again relationship with Nate and befriended me in order to help Nate manipulate and keep tabs on me. We even signed onto an apartment with a third roommate, a week before the hearing.

I discovered, in the most shocking way, that her and Nate were secretly dating, and that she gave him our new address as well as other private information. She did so much worse, but it ended with her moving out upon our request, only to move within our same apartment complex, of course, then harassing and stalking me and another friend involved. I told you it's enough for a part two. I was moving forward and trying to put it all behind me. Then a few months ago, Sophia and I discovered in a separate incident that Nate was working for two mental health jobs in our city. One of them was a mental health clinic that specializes in domestic and violence. Sophia and I met up with a lawyer to discuss what we could legally do. We decided to file anonymous reports with our state's licensing board and reach out.

out to his work's HR with his misconduct violations. The HR I spoke to was a domestic violence counselor who had a similar experience to me. So she seemed genuine when she said she believed me and took this seriously. Of course, I know by now how to proceed with caution in terms of hopes and expectations. This situation was traumatic. And something tells me I might not have seen the last innate. But I am stronger and older now. I see things through a more realistic lens

and have learned how to accept things that seemed impossible to get past. I know that one day, Nate is going to slip up so bad that he won't be able to get away with it anymore. I just hope that our work will make a difference for the next person who tries to stop him. And the top comment on this post is, man, what a disappointing ending. Nate escaped his deserved punishment and still managed to work with vulnerable people.

O.P. got harassed by one of Nate's victims because she tried to do the right thing. My husband left our 5-year-old and 9-month-old home alone and refuses to explain why. Originally posted to R slash True Off My Chest, and let's get into it. My husband is 43 and I'm 31. My husband left our children alone and he refuses to admit to or tell me where he was.

I'm furious, enraged, and my husband keeps telling me I'm making a big deal about nothing. This just happened this weekend. I'm on the board of directors for a local nonprofit organization. I had to attend an event for the organization this past Saturday, and I was gone for most of the day. My husband was supposed to be home with our kids. I texted him a few times and he responded. When I called about midday, he didn't respond. But that's not very unusual.

Shortly after that, I got a call for my mom. She said my son had just called her, and when she asked him what he and his sister were doing, he said they were both watching TV. When she asked where their dad was, he said his dad wasn't there. My mom asked him several other questions and from my son's responses,

she believed he was telling the truth, and that my husband wasn't there and that there was no adult there at all. She said he didn't seem scared to be alone or worried about where his dad was at. He just called her to chat. He has a tablet designed for children with pre-programmed contacts that he can call.

It's only a few people, just family members. I left the event immediately and began texting and calling my husband repeatedly. He didn't respond to my first several attempts. It took him about 10 minutes, I was halfway home at this point, to respond. I was so confused, so worried, really mad, and I asked him where he was. He said he was at home. I told him our son had just told his grandmother that he was home alone with his baby sister watching TV about 15 minutes ago.

My husband denied it, and I told him I was too upset to talk and drive. When I got home, I checked on the kids right away. and they were both fine. I asked my husband again. Where was he? He said he was home the entire time. He doesn't know what our son was talking about, but he must have just been confused since he had gone to the basement to do some laundry.

I ran down to the basement. It was the same load of laundry I had thrown in the dryer the night before. He didn't do any laundry when I was gone. I asked my husband why my son would be confused about whether his dad was home or not. Where in our home would he had gone, and for how long for our son to think his dad wasn't home? That doesn't make sense with a five-year-old and a nine-month-old. You wouldn't leave them unattended that long. Why was he nowhere to be found when my mom asked my son to go check certain areas of the house?

I begged my husband to just admit it, to stop treating me like an idiot, and to stop accusing our son of lying. Just tell me the truth. truth. Because being lied to right to my face is so incredibly maddening. He insists he was home, but he can't come up with any believable story of where he was at or what he was doing during that time. The way he answers me when I ask about this and demand truthful answers is so dismissive. When I tell him, you left our children alone. He quickly says, no, I didn't. So anyway, he says, I'm overreacting.

and letting her son's imagination drive me crazy. I am convinced he was gone. We don't have a ring camera, but at least one of our neighbors does. I'm so upset about this that I'm tempted to ask our neighbor for the ring footage. I had to go out to my car and scream and cry because I got so upset.

Of course, I didn't want my kids to see my reaction. I can't put into words how upset I am about the fact that I know he must have really left them alone, but have no proof and am being treated like I'm just a paranoid nutcase of a mother slash woman by him. And now let's get into the top comments. Someone says it's either drugs or an affair. Also, the fact that your five-year-old was calm and nonchalant about the situation makes me believe that he does this frequently enough that the kids are used to it. And then the opi response, saying, my mom said she and my son

chatted for at least five minutes before she asked him where his dad was. And when she asked that, she still didn't think anything was wrong. She was just trying to make conversation. He gave no indication that anything was wrong, and when she started asking him more questions regarding his dad's whereabouts,

he just didn't seem phased. Some other commenter says, I agree that it's either drugs or an affair, if he's truly leaving them alone. To ease your mind, get the footage from your neighbor, but do not tell them. Furthermore, given your son's nonchalantness about being left alone, this may not be the first time your husband has done this.

Ask your son. Aside from the fact that this is highly dangerous, there are legal ramifications that the both of you can face should the authorities be alerted that the children are being left home alone. You should also get nanny cams. These are discrete cameras unlike a ring camera. Place them in strategic locations throughout your husband. home. And the O.P. Respond saying, he definitely won't be left alone with them anymore, unless it's a

test where I'm secretly watching the entire time. And then people ask if the O.P.'s husband has any accounts that she isn't aware of, such as bank, etc. And the O.P. Respond saying, he has a separate bank account that I don't have access to. It's not a secret account. I know it exists. I don't have debit card for it. I'm not named on the account. and I don't have his logging details. I have no clue what's in it. We have a joint account too. He has his own credit cards.

I don't know what's on those either. Another commenter says, I feel like the timeline is weird. How did your husband get home in 10 minutes since he answered your phone call and you got there? Doesn't mean I think he's telling you the truth and I think you should get the ring footage to put either claim to rest.

Is your husband friends with any? neighbors. And the O.P responds saying, if he was within 10 minutes from our house, well, he speeds on a good day. So if he was in his car and within 20 minutes of our house, he technically could have got home in time. I've wondered if he actually got my initial panicked calls and texts, didn't answer, started racing home, and then finally picked up once he was home so he could pretend he was there all along. And then there's some additional information from the OP on our conversation with her five-year-old son regarding her husband slash his father. And the OP says, I talked to him after I calmed down a little bit.

His story was virtually the same as what he's told my mom with a few more details. But nothing that gave me any clue about what my husband was up to. I asked him what he did when I was gone. He said daddy made him pancakes and they drank coffee outside. My five-year-old doesn't actually drink coffee. but he pretends to drink it in the morning, and he likes to sit outside with his hot coffee. His sister had a giant poop explosion,

and of course he remembered that. And apparently Dad was there to clean that up because he said she pooped everywhere, and he had to help Dad give her a bath and it was disgusting. Curious that my husband supposedly did laundry, but left poop-covered onesie unwashed. That was the highlight of his day, and he loved telling me about how gross it was.

I asked him if Daddy did he said, left. He said, yeah, Daddy left like it was no big deal. I asked him what he did when Daddy was gone. He said he watched TV. I asked him what he watched. I asked him what his sister, nine-month-old baby, was doing when Daddy was gone, and he said she was in the living room watching TV with him too. I asked him if he was sure Daddy was gone. He said, yeah, Daddy wasn't home. I asked him how he knew. And he said Daddy's keys were gone and Daddy told him to stay in the living room with his sister. He has no real concept at time. So asking him how long Daddy was gone for wouldn't really mean anything. I don't want him to feel like he was in trouble or like I was grilling him.

And it sort of seemed like that's how he started to feel when I kept asking questions. And then the OP gives us an update four days later. Let's get into it. Last weekend, my husband My husband left our five-year-old and nine-month-old, home alone while I was gone, and then refused to admit it or provide a plausible explanation. Since then, we had many arguments about it. I've been living in a constant state of anger and frustration. I don't want to fight about it anymore. But I couldn't help it, and I kept bringing it up again and again.

I couldn't lay low and pretend to get over it while I waited for him to do it again. and catch him in whatever was going on. I also knew that demanding he'd tell me the truth wasn't going to get me anywhere, since he'd been refusing to talk and deflecting for days. All it was doing was making me enraged and feel like I was about to have a brain aneurysm. I told him to hand me his phone so I could check his location at the time. He refused. He said he wouldn't do it and that it was a violation of his privacy.

He won't be treated that way. refuses to give into my delusions. You think I enjoy being in a situation where I have to beg my husband to show me his phone so I can see where he was at? I hate it. I don't want to live that way. I told him it's simple. If he really was home the entire time, just prove it. Why wouldn't he want to clear this whole thing up? I got so mad that he wouldn't turn over his phone that I told him I was going to get the neighbor their doorbell footage. At first he was like, fine, go do it. He didn't think I actually would.

He knows I don't like to air drama to others, so he probably figured I'd just swallow all this crap he's been giving me. Luckily, I was totally being driven by anger at this point. So nothing was going to stop me from going to the neighbors. When I actually started to go out the door, he tried to stop me and follow me out the door. I felt pure anger rushing through my veins, nothing else. The neighbor, who have probably said less than 10 words to in the entire time we've lived here,

told me he'd send me the footage. I went home, told my husband that the neighbor didn't have the footage from that day anymore, and told him I just needed to go to the store and cool off. So I put the kids in the car and went in park somewhere while I waited for the neighbor to send me the footage. I have the neighbor's number now too, and he told me if I need any more footage, you'll be happy to give it to me. The video shows a blue car that I don't recognize. Show up and park in our driveway.

A blonde woman gets out of the car and goes towards my house. She walks on the outside of our garage toward the gate leading to our backyard. The gate is too far back and out of the way to be seen on the doorbell footage. She and her car was there for 23 minutes. Imagine that. The car leaves right around the time that my husband called me to say he was home and had been home the entire time, as I was rushing home in a panic and calling him on repeat. One of two possibilities as to where they went.

She either came in through the side door of the house, which does provide direct access to the basement, or, and what I think is more likely, is that they were in the backmost area of our yard, which is a gated pool area. Immediately behind our house is a grass lawn, then you step down a few steps and we have a patio. And then there's a fully gated area where the pool is. It's not like you think of when you picture a gated pool.

It's a full six-foot wood fence all the way around, plus even taller landscaping for added practice. privacy. You can't see into the area at all unless you're inside. I think it's more likely that they were back there because my son said his dad's keys were gone and we keep that gate locked with a key. The pool is closed for winter, but there is one small building back there, sort of like a shed we converted into a changing area, and there is a covered patio with furniture. I'm convinced that's where they were. So technically, he was home, but in an area totally removed from the house and where he couldn't see or hear the kids

if something happened. I asked him how he could explain this. What were they doing? I obviously don't need him to tell me what they were doing, but for some reason I still had the hope that he'd finally be honest. He wasn't contrite. He showed no remorse. He was just like, yeah, she was here, but I obviously never left. Who is she? How long has this been going on? And if he's going to be such a disgusting, despicable excuse of a man,

then why couldn't he at least have found any other time and any other lie or excuse other than when he was home alone with our kids? I told him I know this has happened before. And I demanded to know how many times he's done this when he's been home alone with the kids. He swears this is the only time, but he still doesn't have the boss to confess to what they were doing. I don't believe him that this was the only time, FYI. I still have so many questions, and I still feel like my heart is beating 200 times a minute.

My blood pressure is through the roof. I've cried a lot, sobbed, begged for somebody to help me, yelled, screamed, ordered a bunch of books about divorce and custody. And you know what? The next day after our multiple explosive fights, him putting his hands on me and me seeing the evidence, he acted like everything was totally normal. And like none of that stuff ever happened. I woke up still exhausted, seething, broken,

and he's acting like everything is totally normal. He said he was ordering breakfast to be delivered from our favorite breakfast place. He asked if I wanted to go to the store together later and try this new recipe for chili tonight. What? Why would I want to do any of those things with you now? Absolutely no acknowledgement of anything is done or what's transpired between us in the past few days. He deserved an Oscar for how well he was able to act like none of that happened. Completely comfortable and non-phased.

I know that it's a waste of my energy. but I just desperately want him to admit the full truth of what he did that day and any other day with this woman. I want to hear from him. It won't change whatever he's done, but he could at least have the respect and decency to be honest now that he's caught. That's a ridiculous thought though, right? How foolish of me to expect this man to show decency and honesty now. If he was a decent and honest man, then he wouldn't have had a chance. strange woman over to our house and been out of sight from our kids for 23 minutes.

His continued denial and refusal to admit to anything other than the bare minimum. His attitude, like I'm somehow being controlling or infringing on his rights by asking for information. That's almost more hurtful than him cheating on me. And now let's get into some of the top comments on this post. Someone says, So he effed a blonde in the back while leaving the case. while leaving the kids unsupervised.

Sorry, but that is the only explanation. He wasn't planning a surprise for you. He wouldn't shit on the kid's safety for that. He left the kids alone for something selfish, and he was brazen and comfortable enough to bring his sidepiece to your house. At this point, every word out of his mouth has been a lie. You should ask the neighbor if he's seen that car before.

and the O.P. Respond saying, I know they were effing. I'm not trying to delude myself and to think that she came over to talk or for a cup of tea. I just wanted to admit it. It's driving me crazy that he won't admit it,

even though he's been caught. Another commenter says, O.P., he has not been honest with you and won't be honest. Even if he is, what would that give you? Could you even believe it? O.P., you know what he is doing.

You don't need him to spell it for you. Put yourself and your children first. And the OPE responds saying, at the end of the day, him admitting to what he's done wouldn't really change anything. It certainly won't change anything he's done. It won't make it better. And I probably still wouldn't believe I was getting the full truth. Yet, I can't stop seething over the fact that he's refusing to give me any info. Another commenter says, weird thing is, if he showed his location, it would have been at home and probably put you more at ease that he didn't leave. He is garbage, especially to be doing that shit when he has the kids.

Leaving them on their own? He'd rather cheat and possibly his kids getting hurt or dying. Disgusting. And the OP response saying, yes, it doesn't even make sense. Why wouldn't he have just given me his phone? It makes me think that there are other things on his phone besides his location that he doesn't want me to see. Another commenter says, I'm really concerned for your mental health. I read the original post too. Maybe I watched too many psychological thrillers, but this comes across like he's a

psycho. We're making you looking unhinged so we can admit you to a psych ward or at least divorce you. Get out of alimony and child support and keep the house and kids. I'd pack the kids up if I were you. Go to your parents for a bit and cool off. Call the lawyer stat. Start the divorce. Start the divorce. and keep that recording. And the OPE responds saying, I'm concerned for my mental health right now too. And then we get an update one and a half months later. Let's get into it.

It's been around a month since I last posted. I received so many messages and comments asking for an update and if me and my kids are okay. I'm sorry for not responding. I'm sort of scared to post this because I don't think people will agree with my decision. Initially, I really wanted to be able to share an update saying I had filed for divorce. When I saw that footage of a strange woman sneaking into our backyard,

and even more so when he refused to give me any info or admit to anything, even going as far to say he'd never give me the satisfaction of admitting to anything, I was 100% divorce. I immediately started to research and make a plan. I wasn't in a position to divorce right away. I thought that it might be better to try to keep my head down. pretend like everything was okay and quietly slash secretly prepare everything divorce is still on my mind and a possibility but i'm no longer 100% committed to it my husband and i are still together currently

and living under the same roof although he held out on admitting to anything wrongdoing both with leaving our kids unattended in the house and about having intimacy with another woman in the pool shed he held out for a long time and we argued a lot. I kept telling myself that it was pointless and I was only driving myself crazy. He wasn't going to suddenly be honest and he admitted more than once that he wouldn't tell me the truth and felt no reason to tell me the truth. During that time, I also found him secretly going out to the garage to drink alcohol, which he denied. I drive myself crazy finding his stash of alcohol and other things out in the garage. He still denied it, even though I was literally holding the evidence. Then about two weeks ago, he admitted he had a problem,

or multiple problems, and that what he did that day was wrong. He finally admitted to leaving the kids alone in the house. He admitted to having intimacy with the woman in our pool shed. She's not a woman he's having an affair with. She is a intimacy work. worker. She's transgender. He said in a way like I should have been relieved by all of this. The thing is, I knew he watched adult videos, never seemed to get in the way of our relationship or our lives. I even knew that he liked to watch transgender adult videos. He was open about these things with me, but should I have suspected that this meant he was hiring transgender intimacy workers to have the real-life experience?

Honestly, I'm really asking that. Was I naive to think he was seeking that out just because he liked to watch that type of adult video? He didn't keep the adult video a secret from me, and I honestly never thought he was going to seek it out in real life or cheat on me with a trans person. He also assured me that he now only regularly sees two trans women who are clean and safe and very professional.

and when I asked him how much he pays these women for their services, yeah, they better be a lot of things for that price. I can't believe it. He also admitted to drinking too much and to drinking a lot before he engages with these women. At times, he's taking drugs during these encounters too, but insists he doesn't have a problem meaning addiction. I personally think he's addicted to alcohol

and possibly other substances, but he binges them when I'm not around. and manages to remain normal and sober when I'm around. He started drinking more heavily and regularly since that day. Hence, the hiding booze in the garage and chugging it when he thought I was in the shower. He says he's doing it because he's so stressed about me leaving him and because he knows he's a POS for everything he's done to me and our kids. He's not allowed to be left alone with our kids anymore. He's also not allowed to have intimacy with me for the foreseeable future.

neither are meant as punishment. These rules are in place to keep me and our kids safe. Plus, I have no emotional or physical desire to have intimacy with him now. So I don't know that our relationship will survive. He fears his job will be compromised if he seeks help for any of this. I'm at the point where it's like screw your job. We'll find some way to survive. This is way bigger than a job.

He stopped drinking, at least as far as I can tell. He took two weeks off work to try to figure himself out. He's been helping around the house and doing all of the things a good husband should do. I have hidden cameras installed all over my home and property. I don't want to live this way, but I'm not ready to file for divorce yet. I hope to get to a place financially and logistically where I can at least be prepared so that I could file for divorce at the drop of a hat if I absolutely needed to. I've told him this. He's aware that I've been preparing for divorce.

divorce. He did ask me about intimacy today. How long it'd be before I finally have intimacy with him again? It's been mere weeks, and he's already asking for that, which is unbelievable in a way. Yet this man jerks it several times a day without fail. I don't believe in intimacy addiction, or I didn't before, but I'm starting to wonder if it could be a real thing and if my husband has it. He isn't saying he does, but I'm starting to think my husband, may actually have a number of hidden addictions that he can't even admit to himself. In a weird way, it's comforting because I see it as a defined problem that might be fixable, but on the other hand, I'm totally grossed out by it.

And it makes me feel completely uncomfortable to think about dealing with this possibly forever. For now, me and my kids are safe. Things have calmed down. I'm not living every moment feeling completely consumed by rage. I still feel that way sometimes, but I feel a lot more steady than I did. I feel more clear-headed and surprisingly almost lacking emotion about the whole thing. It's like all of my emotions came in one big wave, then just washed out to see. I honestly feel more clear-headed right now than I have in a long time.

And now let's get into some of the top comment. Someone says, you truly don't sound clear-headed to me. Why are you with someone who cheats on you? and left your young children by themselves, and has multiple serious addictions. He can't be trusted. He needs actual professional help, rehab, or something. Do you have any family or friends you could possibly stay with? I am super concerned for your children.

And the opi response saying, I don't know that he actually has any addictions. I've just to wonder if he does. Either way, I'm trying to convince him to seek some sort of professional help to deal with his issues. My kids are fine. They are never left alone with him. They're with me at all times,

or if you absolutely needed, they're with friends or family. Another commenter says, now only regularly sees. O.P., so he's cheating on you, and you're okay with it? Get yourself tested for SDs. Separate your finances,

and keep building up that plan to leave for the day you, hopefully, come to your senses, and stop teaching your kids they don't need to be faithful in a relationship. or that it's completely normal and acceptable to be cheated on and lied to. And the O.P. Respond saying, The way I worded it makes it sound like it's ongoing presently right now.

When he confessed this all to me a few weeks ago, he said he had only been seeing the same two intimacy workers that he knew and trusted. He had been with other ones before them, but decided it was safer to stick to his two favorites. That's even the word he used, his favorites. He looked at me with a straight face and said, that. But he's not supposed to be doing anything with intimacy workers anymore. Another commenter says, how on earth are you safe if you're still living with him?

Honey, I grew up with an alcoholic father. No way in hell is your husband going to stay sober. You and your kids aren't safe. And the OPE response saying, I don't know that he's an actual alcoholic. I mean, he's sober most of the time. And drinking doesn't get in the way of his work or anything like that. And that is the last update we have received from the OP. The OP has since deleted their account, but wow, what a saga of posts. I hope the OP comes to their census soon

and leaves him so that the kids can grow up in a safer and better environment and the OP's husband can learn his lesson. I'm about to ruin my best friend's life, and I don't feel remorse. Originally posted on R slash true off my chest and the post reads as follows. My soon-to-be ex-best friend and I have been friends since middle school. We know everything about each other. Our families are basically one big family now.

You get the idea. Like I said, we tell each other everything. Recently, she came to me telling me she's been having an affair for about four months with her superior. at her new job. She started about a year ago. She told me, not out of guilt, but to brag about the dream vacation she's going on with her AP, disguised as a work trip. She asked me to cover for her if her husband asks if we've been in contact, because she's planning on going back for that week, so he would have no way of finding out. Side note. We've both known her husband since high school. They are high school lovers, so they've been together for almost 15 years. Her husband is one of the

most honest, hardworking, genuine people I know. He, of course, took everything she said about working late in the business trip at face value because he trusts her more than he trusts himself. I told her I would not be covering for her and to get out of my house because I couldn't even look at her right now. Later, I told my husband everything that happened, and he was just as shocked and disgusted. Her husband is basically his best friend now. So he, of course, has a loyalty to him as well. My husband pointed out something I didn't even think of. Our security camera. It caught everything. We plan on going to her husband tonight with the proof. It will be up to him to do. what he wishes with it, but he deserves to know.

Secondly, we're taking this to her job. As far as I know, fraternization of any kind is prohibited at her workplace. She was also promoted once by this same supervisor. So this could be seen as favoritism. Our guess is that they will both be fired. Finally, I'm going to send a snippet of her admitting the affair to all of her family, including mine. As I said, our families are very intertwined,

so I will easily be able to contact the majority of her family. I'm not going to give her a chance to spin this against me or her husband. Some may think this is harsh, but I wholeheartedly disagree with what she is doing. And then the OP makes a quick update saying, I decided to take the advice of some of the commenters here and leave it up to the soon-to-be-X to decide to go nuclear or not. As some of you pointed out, he may decide to stay with her, and going nuclear would ruin his life in turn.

The other reason is going nuclear and making her lose her job could affect the outcome of the divorce. We still plan to tell him, but we have decided against the other two options for now. I'm going to let the soon-to-be-x know if she tries to pin this on either of us or tells anyone a single lie. I will do a 180 and go nuclear. I will not be seen as a villain for a situation I didn't even ask to be in the first place.

She was the one who thought it would be smart to tell her monogamous friend with traditional values that she's cheating on her spouse. She can lie in her bed. Small update. Everyone involved. Alyssa equals best friend, Noah equals BFF's hub or husband. I decided to take the advice of a few people

and reach out to Alyssa before I went to her husband. I recorded the conversation and let her know I was for my safety. She seemed still extremely nonchalant about the whole thing. I told her I was worried for her. And even for her, this was very out of character behavior. Long story short, she's felt very weak, and unbalanced in her and Noah's marriage for context. Noah went to a trade school and makes very good money.

While up until her promotion, Alyssa was making slightly more than minimum wage. She has recently been reading up on some anti-traditional values, and the woman in those forums attacked her for making less than her husband. She then explained that she noticed her supervisor was trying to flirt with her, and her internet friends told her to run with it. and use him to get higher up. She, of course, did, but admitted she'd become emotionally attached to him as well. All in all, she admitted she doesn't really regret the affair because it, quote, helped with her career, and, quote, she found love.

I told her she had the option to tell Noah the truth before me, but hubby and I were coming over tonight with the video of her admitting the affair, so she wouldn't be able to sway it in her favor. Again, she very nonchalantly said, Hmm, okay, and hung up on me. I don't know what the heck is going on. I can't tell if she's having some sort of psychosis, or she's literally just so detached from her marriage that she doesn't care what happens. Hubby and I still plan on going to know it tonight,

but I'm honestly intrigued to see what she says to him, if she says anything at all. And now let's get into some of the top. top comments. The OP is replying to a comment on the OP having legal rights and consent to the video as evidence to Alyssa's workplace. And the OP response saying, I'm pretty sure we'll be fine legally. If we do ever end up sharing it, we've decided against it for now. She knew we had cameras in our house. We have a very obvious ring doorbell as well as outdoor cameras. The indoor ones are obvious as well. Plus, where we live, you have the right to record on your property without consent.

so there'd be no ability to retaliate against us. And the OP also said, this is the whole reason I got so upset. She's a new hire with basically no experience in the field. And she got a promotion for the stereotypical banging the boss. She's always been the person to look for loopholes or easier ways to do stuff, but this is a new low.

I hope at the very least, the supervisor gets fired. Someone like that shouldn't be in a position of power because they obviously can't handle it. I thought about making an anonymous tip to the company about him specifically, but I don't want it to lead back to my ex-friend for now. And then the OPE on telling Alyssa's husband about the video evidence and then going nuclear, the OPE responds to this kind of claim saying,

the only reason I'm against it for now is because of some insightful comments. He's a very good man. And he might forgive her and decide to reconcile. Even though I don't agree with it, it's his decision. And I don't want to, in turn, ruin his life by letting everyone know he stayed with a cheater. Someone also said affecting her job could affect the outcome of a possible divorce, and I wouldn't want anything to play against him. And then the Opie also says, I completely agree,

and hubby and I decided against going nuclear, because at the end of the day, soon to be X will be the only one who gets hurt here. It will be solely his decision. Unless she tries to spread rumors or lies about me, my husband, or soon to be ex, I plan to tell him if she decides to try and spin this. I will send a clip of the video to anyone she tells and let it spread from there. Another commenter says, agree. Also, O.P., please be prepared for her husband to stay with his wife and cut you and your husband off. marriages are complicated, and sometimes things don't play out the way you imagine they will.

You should tell him, 100%, but what he does with that information is up to him. And please remember that this is not just blowing up your ex-friend's life. It's blowing up her husband's life, too. It's his call, whether he wants to go nuclear or not. And the OP response saying, I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he decided to stay with her. He's a very forgiving man and may be willing to give it a shot. As though it will be, we do see ourselves going no contact with both of them unless a divorce were to take place.

Because as much as we love to continue being friends and support husband, if ex-friend is part of the deal, we can't support that. And then the Opie makes an update two days later, saying apologize for not having time last night. we are obviously busy, people involved X Besti equals Alyssa and Bestie's husband equals Noah. I took a lot of people's advice and decided not to go nuclear. As many people said at the end of the day, it's not my circus. The decision should be left up to the wronged party, and that is Noah. I also decided to reach out to Alyssa before telling Noah and decided to give her a chance to confess to Noah herself. After I talked to her, I was legit thinking about reaching out to her parents about medical help

because she was so unbothered and so non-remorseful about the affair that I thought she was having some sort of mental break or psychosis. Yeah, Alyssa's always been the kind to find loopholes or ways ahead, but cheating on your spouse of almost two decades for financial gain? It's not normal. If you didn't see my small update, the whole reason a list started the affair was to get the promotion at work. It evolved into an emotional affair, eventually, though.

She admitted that her new friends from some feminism forums and Facebook groups told her she wasn't as valuable if she was making it significantly less than her spouse, something I learned she's been more insecure about than she's been telling people. They also told her that using a man isn't cheating as long as there's no emotional attachment. She's just being a, quote, girl boss. She admitted she couldn't separate her feelings from the intimate aspect and started going on regular dates and vacations. And eventually, they started calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend. The AP knows she's married, but was told they were on the verge of separation.

My husband and I arrived at Noah and Alyssa's with some booze and some dinner. And by the time we were there, Noah had already gone through a bottle of. of wine. Surprisingly, Alyssa did confess to Noah about the affair. He told us it was extremely non-apologetic, though. She sat him down and told him that she wasn't going on a business trip this week. She was going on a vacation with her boyfriend. Noah, being the clueless and loyal person he is, thought he meant to say husband and was so excited. He asked if they're going to Italy like that plan for, and Alyssa just stared at him. She repeated, with my boyfriend, it took a few minutes, but it finally sunk in.

He told us it wasn't pretty after that. Instead, he embarrassingly got on his knees and begged her to fix everything. She yelled for a bit, but then just stonewalled him again. She was already packed to leave and just left him there sobbing. She turned off her location, which both Noah and I were a part of her family on the app, and we have no idea where she went. We assumed she went to her AP's house because if she had gone home with two suitcases, her mother would have reached out to Noah immediately.

She sees him as a son. We sat down with Noah and said we have video and audio proof of Alyssa exposing and explaining the affair, and we will send them to him in case he needs them. I explained to him that in a moment of blind rage, I was planning on going scorched earth and telling him. everyone. But once I calmed down and looked at this rationally, I realized that wasn't the right thing to do. The only person going full nuclear would hurt was him, because Alyssa obviously doesn't care anymore. As I suspected, the idea of reconciliation is still on his mind. But he

doesn't see it happening. In order to reconcile, both parties must admit fault and want to reconcile. Alisa clearly doesn't. We've gotten him in contact with a friend of my hubby, whose agrees to help him with pro bono until the divorce shows results. I can tell him he's still hesitant about going forward with divorce, but he knows he also can't force Alyssa to stay. As comments have suggested, this is where we bow out. We are obviously going to continue to support Noah,

but it's not our situation to handle. It's his. If there's any few. future updates, I'll of course ask Noah first, but you'll be the second to know. Thanks for being so supportive and helpful. It made me realize that how Noah handles his life and his marriage is his responsibility, not mine. And then a quick update, wanted to clear up some things from the last post that I didn't really answer in the update. What did Alyssa ever do to you that made you want to go soon nuclear. Honestly, nothing in particular. Like I said, for the past few years,

our friendship has been for convenience at its best. We've basically been friends because we know each other so well, and we have at least one friend. Alyssa has always had qualities I don't agree with, but who doesn't? I think it was just the whole situation that made my blood boil, especially since Alyssa has always been disgusted by cheaters. She was the kind of person to cut dozens of people out of her life if it meant not supporting someone's infidelity. So for her to make a complete 180 and not even have guilt for it,

it just grinds my gears. That's part of the reason I think she's having some sort of mental breakdown. Not only is it hypothetical, it's extremely out of character, even for her. Are you in love with Noah? Of course not. Singing someone's praises and trying to portray that they're a genuine and good person doesn't automatically mean you want to sleep with them.

Our relationship has been nothing more than Plotonic for the entire time I've known him because he loved Alyssa and I loved their happiness. I love my husband and literally only ever saw Noah like a brother. Logic, people. And now let's get into some of the top comments. says, I hope he, the husband, has some self-respect and dignity and goes through with the divorce. If he decides to inform their employer, tell him to do it after the divorce. And the OP response saying, as much as I love the guy, he basically worships the ground Alyssa walks on.

If she came through the door right now and said, sorry, even with no remorse behind it, I'm 99% sure he'd pretend like the last four months were a fever dream. Another commenter says, You handled this incredibly well. And even though it's a painful situation for all involved, your thoughtful approach will likely help Noah through this difficult time. If there are future updates, I'm sure everyone following this story will be eager to hear how things unfold.

Wishing the best for Noah and for you and your husband as you continue to support him. And then the OPE responds saying, thank you. Like I said, I made this post in the decision to go nuclear in a fit of blind rage. But I soon realized I was being irrational. It's not my place to serve Alyssa, vigilante justice. In all honesty, if she's not careful, she may out herself at work. And it's their decision what to do with the two of them. And then the O.P responds to someone asking the question on whether or not they're going to notify

Alyssa's workplace and the opi says no I'm not going to if no one decides to reconcile she'll be out of a job which just adds to the problem that caused the affair in the first place if she gets fired during the divorce it could be grounds for alimony she doesn't deserve and now let's get into an update number two eight days later well I didn't expect to be back so soon But the last week has been basically a speed run of terrible events. This will probably be my last update, so feel free to consider this the conclusion of the events. Everything bad that could have happened happened. The past two days specifically have been absolutely horrible.

Sorry if this is all over the place, I'm still all over the place. So I don't know if it was the day she left or the day after. but Alyssa and AP went on their vacation. The only reason I know of because she posted pictures all over social media of her and AP. She had absolutely no shame. It was very clear that even if she wasn't divorced, this was her new boyfriend, which of course notified her family of the issues. Noah's phone was blowing up with apologies.

accusations, everything you could think of. Noah, being the people-pleaser he is, decided to tell her family they were on a mutual break instead of telling everybody she cheated and that was the AP. Alyssa's mom, fortunately, didn't believe him and came to me. I didn't hold back. I told her that she's been cheating on Noah for months and that she recently bragged to me about her Sugar Daddy AP. and that's the only reason she's come clean to Noah.

Alyssa's mom then dropped a bomb on me that even I didn't know. Alyssa is a serial cheater. Her mom said in high school, Alyssa would bring boys back home under the guise of school projects or sports-related things. But she caught Alyssa kissing two different boys. Keep in mind, she was dating Noah all this time. She said she didn't think much of it and just chalked it up to being a crazy hormonal teenager. She also said she never expected her to marry her a high school boyfriend.

And by the time they were married, she figured Alyssa had stopped doing all this stuff. Neither her nor I have no idea if she's done anything like that since high school through to the present, but I'm not interested in digging further into it. This just explains why Alyssa was just so nonchalant about cheating, because apparently she has just always done it. I'm guessing her girl boss friends awoke something inside her, and she remembered how easily and nonchalantly she would cheat, and it inspired to just do it again? I don't know. I'll be honest. I kind of yelled at her mother, something I'm not proud of, like I've said in previous posts.

Alyssa's mom is basically my mom. So formalities and everything aren't something I think about when I talk to her. So I freaked out and told her she sent Noah up for this kind of life when he could have found somebody ten times better. She took it like a champ and just let me vent until I was calm again. I apologize for yelling, but calmly said you and I both know Noah deserved better. You should have said something before he got married to her. She agreed, but said it's too late now to focus on that, and that the real issue at this time

was supporting Noah. I told her if she wanted it to support Noah, she could have told him his fiancé was a cheater ten years ago and hung up on her. I've since talked to her, we're fine, but I was just too mad at her in the moment. Next thing that happened was that the photos got back to a colleague, and both of them were out of a job before their vacation was even over. As I assumed, their workplace was extremely upset and did consider Alyssa getting the promotion favoritism, and they were both let go.

Noah told me there was at least three HR complaints about them, so it was a no-brainer. Of course, the beautiful relationship Alyssa and her AP had turned sour as soon as he learned he was let go from his six-figure job because of her. He was so pissed. He even canceled Alyssa's plane ticket home out of spite and planned to leave her stranded there. This is where all of you will be disappointed and so am I. But Noah immediately forgave her, bought her a ticket, and moved her back in. She told him it was just a huge mistake and seeing how her AP treated her, made her realize what she could have lost. It's obviously all BS to me and my husband, but you already know, Noah ate that shit up.

He told us that he's urging her to go to couples counseling, but of course, it's not an ultimatum. So basically, she just got to have her cake and eat it with no consequences. We told Noah previously and reminded him that if he decided to take Alyssa back, we'd be going at the very least low contact. We kept to our word and have completely blocked Alyssa and have Noah unblocked, but don't plan to engage in small talk to invitations to stuff. We refuse to be like him

and just act like this never happened because that's not normal. He understood, but told us he has to stand by the vows he made to his wife, which we both understand to an extent and wished them well. So, yep, Alyssa got to sleep with another man, go on a nice vacation, lose her job, and still gets a bed and a husband to come home to.

All's well that ends well, I don't even know how to feel about this. Like, if they want to live there fucked up, broken marriage life, that's their choice. I'm not even mad anymore. Just drained. I'm almost glad it's over now because I don't know if I could deal with this for months on end. I knew this was going to happen eventually. It's just who Noah is, but it feels just as idiotic as it sounds. I don't know. I'm just rambling at this point. I'm glad we'd just. decided to step back because honestly, both of them have very clear psychological issues

that needs to be addressed with a professional, but neither of them will ever do that. I'd rather be rid of people like this. Sorry if I'm being blunt or mean, but at the end of the day, both of them have issues I didn't sign up to deal with. I don't need this kind of stress where husband and I are trying for kids, so yeah, I guess this is it. Yep. Now let's get into some of the top comment.

Someone says, I feel bad for Noah. He'll always be a sucker for her, and she'll always get away with anything. No consequences for anything. MC is not an ultimatum. Sigh, unbelievable. Maybe one day he'll catch her with a guy in their own bed, and he'll snap out of it. You did the right thing the way you handled it and distance yourself right now. Don't turn your back on Noah though.

He's going to need people. Another commenter says, I feel no sympathy for Noah. He needs to find his balls from wherever she hid them because she will cheat on him again and again. And he will always stupidly take her back. You are completely justified, staying away from that mess. And then the OP actually gives us an update a month later. So let's get into that.

It's been about a month since I last posted. I wasn't planning on updating, but the most hilarious thing happened with Alyssa and Noah. I needed to tell someone. Bear with me, this is all through the grapevine because hubby and I are still no contact with them. So first off, Noah has rewarded Alyssa's cheating with another vacation. They are planning on going to Italy for their vow renewal. This plan is to basically start over their marriage, even though they've been together for 15 plus years. Knock a lie, I burst out laughing when I was told this.

I just think it's so hilarious that they're both going to sweep this under the rug and try to act like their life didn't implode. But hey, if it makes them happy, who am I to stop them? The second thing is they've decided to try for a baby. One thing Alyssa and I always bonded over was being conservatives who wanted to be child-free. Neither of us just felt like we would be good mothers. Of course, since we live in a largely conservative community with conservative families, we were always basically bullied into changing our mind. But we had each other, so that's the important part.

Once I met my husband, I had kind of changed my mind about kids, which we are also currently trying for. but Alyssa never swayed. The last conversation we had about our family pressuring her into kids was about two months ago, a week or two before the cheating incident. Not only do I think this is a terrible idea because the baby is going to grow up in a dysfunctional family, I guarantee Alyssa won't love this child. I honestly just feel pity for everyone involved now.

Noah for thinking his life has to be staying with a cheater, Alyssa for basically forcing herself to live a life she doesn't want to live and their future child for being born into this cluster fuck. But yeah, consider this the official end. Maybe I'll be back in a year or two when it turns out Noah has been raising another man's baby. And then the OP updated five months later saying, Hey, I'm back. Let's get into this post.

I doubt anyone will even see. this, but at the same time, I found it cathartic to write this all down. And I'm here to bring some much needed good news to my story. My husband and I are doing wonderful. I am now pregnant. I'm approximately 12 weeks long and everything looks fine. We are starting to throw around nursery ideas and we are so happy and excited to be parents. I can't wait. And now onto what everyone would actually care about. Noah and Alyssa. I'll be honest, not much news.

Early on, they kind of went through every phase with us. They reached out begging to reconcile. Then got angry with us that we wouldn't want to talk to them. Then eventually just gave up. We never replied to anything they sent, just saved anything in case it were to ever escalate. I think it finally set in for them, and they just stopped trying to contact us about after two months.

The rest of this is secondhand information, so bear with me. And don't take it at face value. Alyssa and Noah tried for a baby with no luck. If I had to guess, I assume it's because she probably didn't actually get her birth control removed. We both got IUDs together only a few months before her D-Day. And since they last for years, I assume she just still has it. And then a quick update. Yes, I only had my IUD for about four or five months total. My husband and I felt we weren't ready for it yet.

We ended up coming into some money that changed our minds. It was a mutual decision and I got it removed. Just adding this before I got flooded with questions about how I got pregnant when I just got an IUD. They're still together, obviously, and most of their family has agreed to brush this under the rug. Apparently, it's easier for everyone involved to just pretend the whole thing never happened. I assume her family all agreeing to ignore those months of infidelity are why both her and Noah were so confident in trying to have us forget this too. Haven't heard anything about AP or the whole job mess other than Alyssa may have taken legal action against her place of work. I assume she's trying to play the victim card.

Well, I think that's pretty much it. Sorry Alyssa didn't get pregnant by AP and now Noah is their third wheel or whatever reddish. it likes nowadays just some rumors through the grapevine and my life continues just fine sending love and that is the last update we have ever received from the op and all right guys that wraps up some true unsettling reddit threads and this was actually my longest video i've ever recorded for a reddit threads or write-at-stories video so i really hope you enjoyed as you can probably tell i was losing my voice intermittently throughout this um like my voice just is a little bit strained and so hopefully it wasn't too much of a difference than usual but thank you guys so much for watching at the end if you watch

at the end comment down below a true snook fan because you are a true snook fan if you watch through three hours and you're still listening you guys are actually the best fan base on youtube you guys are the best please comment down below it i read every single comment i appreciate the support so much and yeah you guys are amazing and please like the video and subscribe to the channel if you watch at the end i mean i think you like the channel enough if you watched after three hours so please like the video and subscribe to the channel and also if you enjoyed this video check out some other videos i have on the channel it helps more than you know and uh yeah that's enough you happen this video was long enough already so uh thank you so much for watching and this is snook and i'll see you

next time bye