So... Alright - More of your emails!

Episode Date: December 30, 2025

Geoff cries a little, laughs a little, as he answers your questions for the last time this year. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So we're back with another email episode. For posterity sake, I am recording this on Wednesday, December 3rd. I am not sure when this will release. But if you sent me an email after Wednesday, December 3rd, it will not be answered in this podcast, FYI. I've got to say, I've had a really good day today. Been a stressful couple of weeks, and for whatever reason, today's been a good one. I woke up this morning and streamed Bob. I keep on to say Bob the Builder.

I streamed this game called Dave the Diver. Well, my fucking problem is there. It's the second day I've streamed it. It's a game where you spend your days fishing for seafood, and then you spend your nights working in a sushi restaurant serving it to customers. and there's some sort of cosmic horror element to it, I believe. Anyway, I played it on stream for almost three hours this morning and had an absolutely delightful time. I've been streaming from 8 a.m. to 10 a.m. every day, but it's been trending a little earlier. I almost streamed at 7.30 today, but I stopped myself and I was like, it's too early.

But if I keep waking up earlier in the day, I might be the only guy streaming at 6 a.m. every day. We'll see. We'll see. After that, I ran a ton of errands, and I will say something that's nice about Austin in December is it's pretty empty, especially in the early part of the month. There's no traffic. There was no traffic today. I didn't have to deal with anything. Went to the post office, got a bunch of mail from y'all. Good Lord. I almost had to make two trips. It was everything I could do to finagle it all out of the post office in one go. I went to the dentist, which is always always a little treacherous and scary for me, if only for the years of PTSD I have. And it was a great, I was just to get my teeth cleaned, and it was a great visit.

I was in and out in less than an hour. My teeth are great, said my gums look better than ever. I got all ones and twos when they did the thing. And so I feel really good about that. That really brightened my day up, celebrated by going to in and out and getting a mustard fried burger, which has become my go-to since we started the burger thing. I believe that makes it my 37th hamburger since September 1st. But who's counting?

I guess I am. I guess we all are. We're all counting to see how many hamburgers we eat from September to September. And I don't know. It was just one of those days where it might just be the relief of having a good dentist visit, but it was just one of those days where I just, I enjoyed being out running errands. I was in a good mood. Listen to a bunch of Dan Patrick while I was riding around.

Just had a delightful time. I ate my hamburger in the in-and-out parking lot, as you do. but now I'm ready to buckle down and answer your emails. This is from Luke. Hey Jeff. Been a long time fan since the days

of Call of Duty World Award Achievement guides. Coll of Duty World Awards is the game that made me quit playing Call of Duty for a very long time. Veteran on that game was a dirty, dirty cheater

and it was a bullshit. It was bullshit, is what it was. It was bullshit. Maybe someday I'll go back and fuck with it again, but I doubt it. I just want to reach out and share how special it is

hear you speak about Avail, a veil is a punk band from Virginia that I like a lot, and their love of Richmond. Well, there you go. As a born and raised Richmonder, you are so correct in how much their pride means to this city. The former capital of the Confederacy is surrounded by hate and bigotry to this day, but we are a standalone progressive bright spot against that. We have an incredible metal, hardcore punk scene, Lamb of God, Guar, Avail, municipal waste, etc. Have one of the best art museums outside of New York and the United States and are currently the fourth most tattooed city in America. I didn't even know that was a metric. The people from here love this city in a religious

way, and they are right. Just wanted to say, thank you for giving us the little shout out I think we deserve, and I think you would enjoy the city in the way you fell in love with Austin of old. Much love, Luke, I've heard nothing but good stuff about Richmond. I can't remember ever stepping foot in it if I did. It would maybe have been on a road trip, you know, and I don't think I've ever spent any substantive time there, but I gotta find my way up there someday. I do. I really do, Luke.

It sounds like a pretty magical place, and I want to experience it myself. This is from Bob. Yo, Jeff, my co-worker developed the Shaqalicious, we are food scientists, gummies, and I thought you'd like to know that when Shaq came in to see them,

he had my friend jam his face into a vat of cornstarch. That seems like a very Shaq thing for Shaq to do. Super random, but I keep getting these situations, where the podcast goes into parts of my personal life, i.e. Andrew trashing the name Bob for five minutes. When y'all said you were going to burn carpet, I did my capstone in undergrad on that and all the ways those toxic chemicals can kill you. Some of the chocolate milk conversations, which is what I develop right now, and countless others, I fear. It's been so wild, but so hilarious. I've been listening since I've been developing lotions in a kitchen, but y'all have been the source of a dumb

grin for way more of my life than not. Thanks for keeping it going. Oh, that's so nice of you to say. thank you. Also, if you're looking for obscure sports, and I am, I always am, look up beach handball. That can't be real. Hold on. Beach handball. Motherfucker. That's a real-ass sport. All right, I'm not to go watch some beach handball after this, I guess. Oh, while I'm talking to you, let me look up most tattooed cities in America from the previous email before I forget. Los Angeles, Miami Beach, and Portland, Oregon. Austin is 1, 2, 3, 4, 5th that looks like on this list. Motherfucker.

All right, well, we're up there. I'm doing my part. I'm doing my part. That's actually not sure I'm not getting tattooed at all anymore. I should. I should get tattooed. I was going to get 50 tattoos this year. Why don't I do that?

What the fuck is wrong with me? I have the fun of playing for Team USA, but it's so silly and spectacular all at once. wildly fun and quick game to watch. Honorable mentions being Kadabi and quad ball. You are on the USA team? Are you gonna, is Beach Handball in the Olympics?

Is that a thing? Can I go see you? Are you defending America in some sort of world games anytime soon? Please respond and let me know, Bob. Also in regards to the latest, so all right. Oh, this is talking back about the

3 a.m. theater idea, which I'll address in a more complete way at some point. I'm still, believe it or not, you guys send me hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of emails and I'm trying to read them all. And then Bob goes on to tell me to follow my head in my heart if I decide to do the 3 a.m. theater idea and then says, oh, P.S. Pilgrim Land is the perfect outro

to a documentary and quite good. Okay. Oh, oh, and 56 hot dogs as of September 8th. You can see, I guess that's when he sent this email. Too many hamburgers to keep track of. Great email. Thank you so much. This one's from Jacob. He said, hello, Jeff. When you mentioned the silver jeep from the movie Enter the Ninja,

I immediately thought about one of my favorite websites, I'mcdb.org. I've never heard of it. I like to look up cars I see in movies like you might look up actors or locations. Here is the car in question. Oh, I want to see, is this it? He sent me a link to it. It is 100%.

That's it. That's the fucking car. That's the Jeep thing I want. And he knows what it is. He says, This Jeep is a modified Willys M-C-M-38 used in the Korean and Vietnam Wars. It's been modified in the owner style to the Philippines. I've gone down a bit of a rabbit hole,

and it seems like many of these M-38s and other jeeps ended up in the Philippines and were modded. Some were even turned into buses called Jeepneys. Love the podcast. Hope you have a great day. Jacob, one hamburger. Holy shit, Jacob. Thank you so much. that's so cool. Now I've got to figure out if I can find a modded Willie's

MCM38 to buy so that I can live large like the ninja. Here's one. Hey Jeff, old Andrew from Canada here. I remember you. Just listen to your Nata Fugazi episode. And I should have warned you

when you asked what your 50s brings you. I mentioned ankles and joints don't work as well as they used to, but it's the tearing up at everything. The memories come back listening to everything, seeing anything, smelling something, anything that can bring back a memory. Just write this email has made me think of things that are making me smile and tear up.

So yeah, it gets worse slash better because it's usually all the happy stuff you remember. Anyway, stay cool. Andrew, Burger Count 21. Oh, thank you, Andrew. Here's an email from Zach who says it's called Fugazi and how it ruined an AP English project I did in high school. Okay. Hey, Jeff, just listen to your episode, not about Fugazi. and it reminded me of something that happened to me in high school.

I was 14 in sophomore year at AP English. We were all given dystopian books, such as 1984, to give a book report on an English class. Except we would choose five songs to present to the class to encapsulate the feeling and tone of the dystopian nightmare in our books and the people the books followed. I don't even remember my book,

but I chose multiple Fugazi songs in a Cage the Elephant Song as I found them representative of the anti-establishment tone, such as five corporations. Gave my presentation to the class, even mixed them all together in one smooth mix in DJ software. That's nice. I got a D on the project as a straight A-plus student. My teacher didn't understand and seemed confused,

as if I were supposed to pick some Justin Timberlake bullshit to represent anti-establishment dystopian art. It really pissed me off. Ah, fuck you, teacher. Anyway, I've loved Fugazi since my dad showed them to me when I must have been 11. Waiting Room is obviously one of my favorite tracks of all time and being young, 27.

I found this episode to connect with me a little more than your other music-based episodes. I'll love Zach. I'll love back to you, Zach. Thank you so much. Good. Dickhead teacher. This one's from Big Papa Tav. Dear Jeff, been listening and watching your content for over a decade now,

and I wanted to thank you, as you guys at RTAH and even now in Regulation Podcast, have provided endless entertainment that from the bottom of my heart, I cannot thank you enough for. Well, I think you just did. On a recent episode of Saw Right, you mentioned that if you want to make something for yourself that you should just go out and do it. Well, after years of putting it off, after graduating from university with a degree in film, I finally decided to put myself to the task of doing just that.

All this month of October, obviously I'm reading this, get to this email a little late, I'm making videos every day on some new horror movies. And your episode on David Lynch inspired me to finally watch Eraserhead for the first time and make a video on it. This movie hit me in a way that very few others had. I feel the same way. And I found it very difficult to talk about in my video review. I completely understand where you're coming from there. And I even found myself getting choked up during my recording. Also understand what you're saying there, Big Papa.

You did not oversell it in the slightest. Well, thank you very much. Sounds like you and I are kindred spirits. I know these videos are not the highest quality content, and I'm not the most comfortable on camera, but I just want to thank you for not only inspiring me to try and invest in myself to make something, but also for the work you and the others have done to set the example of content creators on the internet. Thank you for everything. No, sir. Thank you for

holding yourself the task, making yourself actually sit down and do it something that you've wanted to do for a long time. It is so easy to almost do these things, to follow these paths, and it's so hard to actually take that first step or even take that final step. And you've done it. Please send me your YouTube channel so I can watch some of your videos. Thank you so much for the email. This one's from Jacob. I've been a fan of all your stuff since around 2013. I haven't specifically reached out like this before,

but I wanted to tell you how important this was to me. Like a year ago, for So All Right, you recommended songs by Lost Sounds, and I was immediately in love and listened to all of their albums and everything I could find by Jay Retard. His music really helped me through some of my lowest and most depressed eras of my life. I felt a strong connection to his lyrics and melodies.

If you ever did an episode focused on him, I would love that. You know what? I would love that too. He's definitely, there's a million people in the music industry I would like to showcase and do full episodes on. And he's definitely on that list. Maybe I'll get to it at some point. I'd like to for sure. P.S.

If you haven't heard anything from the punk hip-hop band, The Neighborhood Kids, I would recommend them as a rocking and relevant current artist. Okay, I'll check them out. Neighborhood Kids. Thank you so much. This is from Anthony. As a fan from the UK vacationing in Florida currently, the mall is well and truly back. Much love Anthony and Becky.

Glad to hear it, man. Glad to hear it. I had a... Well, I don't want to jump on future content in regulation, but I had a mall experience recently. It'll turn into content at some point, but I'm starting to wonder how back the mall in Austin might actually be right now. Michael says,

Hello, Jeff. I was listening to an older few episodes where you talked about the anniversary of you quitting drinking, and how much that means to you. It made me wonder about the idea of being proud of something we've done only on a yearly basis, which made me realize that while a year is significant, so was a half year. Following down that rabbit hole made me consider the half a year marker for your sobriety

would be, if I remember right, September 17th, which I realized I'd missed by a single day. So for no reason other than to spread some positivity, I decided to reach out and tell you that I'm proud of you. Michael, that is so fucking kind of you. I really do appreciate that. It is a tremendous accomplishment and no small feat. On a second note, I've been a fan of your work since RVB season three,

and your ability to look at the world around you and find something fun or lacking that, make something fun out of it, is something I've been inspired by constantly. Michael, that hit me. That meant a lot what you just said. Thank you very much. Thank you.

I feel very seen with you saying that and the way you said that. I really do appreciate that. That touched me. I like to use this phrase a lot, but I can honestly say that the world is a better place every day you're in it. Oh, man. I feel the same way about you, Michael.

Thank you. I feel that way about all of you. We've spoken a couple of times via email and once in person at a convention, and that was one of those things I always regretted not telling you. You just did. You really, really just did.

So with that, take care. Stay safe. Be reckless. and take chances. Thank you, Jeff Laser Ramsey for 20 years of comedy, positivity, and laughter. Thank you, Michael, Viking Overlord. Thank you for that email.

That... You just touched the shit out of me. Kevin has a deodorant solution for me. Hey, Jeff, I just started episode 74 of regulation. The solution lies in Old Spices soft, solid, antiperspirant. You put it on at bedtime, and the next day you're essentially

sweat-free all day long. And here's the kicker. specifically for little Jeffie, that was a kicker for me as well. The whole entire portion of the container that touches your underarm is completely rounded over. When the anti-perspirant gets lower, runs out. There's no sharp edges to encounter at all. It's quite pleasant to apply, actually, and if you're a serial sweater like I am, it can be a lifesaver to so dramatically reduce the amount of perspiration.

Hope that helps. I adore you. Made three burgers for dinner last night. Hell yeah. Kevin. That's a great recommendation, Kevin, and I'm going to look that up. I'm currently going through another recommendation from a community member. They recommended I try the Mondo cream deodorant, which kind of just looks like moisturizing lotion, but you rub it on your underarms.

Like the second it touches my skin, I smell like wet dog for two seconds and then it goes away. And so far that's been pretty decent. It's been pretty decent. But I'm open to trying a myriad of things. I've got another few solutions I want to try as well. And I will definitely throw yours into the mix. Thank you, Kevin. next email is a life hack from Matt he says anytime you go to a steakhouse local or chain easiest

as Texas Roadhouse so you know I'm there a lot because of my wife order a 16 out steak but stress the six and let off some of the teen so when they hear that hopefully Matt, you son of a bitch. I'm going to start this email over. That really tickled me. Anytime you go to a steakhouse, local or chain, easiest to Texas Roadhouse. Order a 16 ounce steak, but stress the 6 and let off some of the team. 16, you say.

So when they hear you, hopefully they bring you a six-ounce steak and you go, hey, then do it in reverse. I ordered a 16-ounce steak, 16 ounces. And then they'll feel bad, give you the six-ounce while waiting for your 16-ounce, and you only pay for the six-ounce. 22 ounces of steak for the actual price. And you only pay for the six-ounce. That's 22 ounces of steak for the actual price it should be.

I've done this successfully three times. No one has stopped me, Matt. Matt, you're a madman. You're a brilliant evil genius. I love that. This email is from Karina. She says, hi, Jeff. I feel weird sending an email.

Seems like I'm just sending it into a pit that will get buried. But I've been wanting to write it for a few episodes now. Well, I dug it out of the pit, Karina. The episode about your weekend with Millie is mostly where this comes from. The love you have for her is beautiful. I don't have a good relationship with my dad, and listening to you gush about your daughter just fills my heart in a way that I don't quite know how to put into words. Oh, man. She's my whole world. She's my whole entire world. Your ability to just talk and be honest about your feelings and crying

and your love is so great to listen to. You speak the same way about Emily, I feel the same way about Emily, and it's amazing to listen to someone loves so openly. Your ability to just talk and be honest about your feelings and crying and your love is so great to listen to. I don't really have a big point other than to say thank you for just putting out content that is so gentle and pure when the world feels like it's falling apart and no one has capacity for love. It does feel that way sometimes, doesn't it? I'm right there with you. I echo that sentiment. It feels like the world is just hardening around us at all times and I hate it. Thanks for always holding a space open that feels kind and welcoming. Karina. Burger count five, husband is at six. Nice. You guys better

eat up. Thank you for the email, Karina. That was incredibly kind of you to say. And I'm glad that you find the content that I create to be a welcoming place because I sure, I sure want it to be for everybody. So thank you. Corey says, hey Jeff, I wanted to tell you about a website I use when searching for movies and TV shows. It's called Just Watch. It also has an app. When you search for a movie, it tells you all the streaming sites the movie is available on. And also, which sites have it for free, rent or buy. It doesn't always return listings for YouTube since YouTube can sometimes be the Wild West, so if it says the movie is unavailable, I still check YouTube. I'm the guy who sent the Woodsy Owl Patch. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Hell yeah, I enjoyed

it, Corey. It's one of the best gifts I've received from the audience, I think. I'm genuinely as big of a Woodsy Owl fan as I let on. And thank you for the recommendation. I'll check that. Just watch. I'll check the app out. Really appreciate it. Next email is from James. He says, hey, Jeff, just finished this week's episode of so all right, and I love that you're getting into hockey. I'm a Columbus Blue Jackets fan, and we just played the Devils the other night. We had six fights, including a controversial fight,

between Voronkov and Dylan. The reaction from the fans surrounding this fight, I think, proves your hate for the Devils. I do want to highly recommend going to a Blue Jackets game once you're settled in after you're moved to Michigan. God, that feels like that could be a billion years away, but thank you. Our fans are known as the fifth line. Oh, that's cool.

And the cannon every time we score is something you never get used to. You guys fire a cannon? Every game we go to is electric from start to finish. Thanks for everything you do and keep me going during the work days. Much love James, Burger Count 5. All right, I got to go to a Columbus Blue Jackets game. I want to hear the cannon fire. I also like that you guys call yourselves the fifth line.

I think that's awesome. And the final email of the episode will be from Alan. And Alan's, he's taking me to task here in this email. He says, Dear Jeff, respectfully, you're a fool. Yellow watermelon is the nectar and flesh of the gods themselves. I think you got a bad one. Please try again. I had one years ago.

And I think about that yellow flesh lustily every day. Love you. Oh, Alan, thank you. Yeah, I'm definitely open to the idea that I had a bad yellow watermelon. I'm a watermelon fan. Growing up in Alabama, I got to say watermelon was a constant in our family. It was a staple that was always there. and so I definitely have some strong feelings about it,

but I will absolutely attempt another yellow watermelon. I would like to like it. I want it to taste good. I didn't want it to be mediocre and bland. But like you said, could have just been a bad melon. Chalk it up to that and we'll try again next time I have the opportunity. Okay, that'll be it for the emails today. Thank you so much for hanging out for another, oh God,

who knows how long this cut together. I need to give you a song of the episode, and I think today we're going to pick we're going to pick King of the Hill by Minutemen from Project Mersh. Give that a shot, see what you think. Minutemen in my top five favorite bands of all time.

The second favorite song of all time is a Minuteman song. Hopefully you enjoy this one. And hopefully, I'll see you right back here next week. All right. This is the end of the show.