So... Alright - Travel, Trauma, and Life Advice

Episode Date: September 3, 2024

Lots going on the last few weeks, Geoff gets into it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does possible sound like for your business? It's more cash on hand to grow with up to 55 interest-free days. Redefine possible with Business Platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and conditions apply. Visit mx.ca slash business platinum. So the last couple of the last week or two has been kind of insane for me. And to that end, this is going to be a bit of a stream of consciousness, just cat catching y'all and myself up kind of an episode, not necessarily a deep dive into anything.

And it'll probably be a little briefer because I have a little bit of travel ahead of me still. I have been go, go, going. Oh man. I wanted to talk to you guys. Well, I wanted to talk to you guys. I wanted to, the research I was going to do was going to be on home ownership

versus rental and the health benefits of both. I read a, well actually I didn't read anything. I listened to an NPR article many years ago that left an impression on me that was about how people who rent homes live longer, happier lives than people who own them, which seems insane. And that always stuck in my head. And I kind of wanted to talk about that

because I'm now a person who is renting, right? And I gotta be honest, I feel a lot of relief in a lot of ways that I didn't anticipate. And so the goal was to kind of dive into that and read a bunch about it. Didn't get a chance to because of a myriad of things. Went on vacation, went up to Michigan, had a fucking lovely time. My wife and I took our friends, Bernie and Vanessa, Batdog. From Trucks and her best friend, Vanessa,

a from Clutch, my, and their podcast together. And we went up for four days together and it was awesome. I didn't realize how badly I needed to relax, how badly I needed a break until I got one. You know, we talked a lot about, people have talked a lot about in the post RT world worrying about us burning out. And we've talked a lot about how we feel really good. And we're working a lot right now, but we're feeling great. And that is 100% true. But man, I definitely did appreciate and need that little vacation I had we got

to show some of our favorite parts of Michigan off to our friends. And I think that they really enjoyed it and had a good time. Finally got to go out to the DIA and wow, what an awesome museum. Loved every second of it. Got to see Aaron Judge hit a home run at the Comerica Park. Ate a bunch, ate a whole lot of hot dogs. Whole lot of hot dogs. Whole lot of hot dogs.

Unfortunately, it's been kind of a kind of a it was kind of an emotional weekend for me. I don't know when this episode airs, so the dates would be all screwy. So I'll just say I came back knowing that I was coming back to having two days with Millie at home before she transitions to her mom's house for two days and then takes off on a road trip to college. That's been a whole thing for me for a while, preparing for that. I am going to meet her at her school to help her move in. You know, the whole gang will be there. We'll all move her in and we're very excited. Obviously not going to dox my daughter and say where she's going to school at,

but she's going to school far away from here at a very, very, very good school that she got an amazing scholarship to. And it's kind of the most exhilarating and exciting and terrifying time in my life because I'm so jazzed for her and her new adventure and her to enter into And it's kind of the most exhilarating and exciting and terrifying time in my life because I'm so jazzed for her and her new adventure and her to enter into this next phase of her life. And obviously entering into the next phase of my life as well. The empty nest phase, which is it's weird because my daughter is still my daughter. I'm still her dad, but she's lived with me for 18 years and now she won't. She's moving on to the next phase of her life, adulthood.

And I'm fucking beyond excited for her and I'm so excited to watch her adventure and watch the woman that she is becoming. And I just like, man, I just, I couldn't be prouder of her for the accomplishments thus far, but wow, is it heartbreaking, you know? Every time I look at her, in the sweetest way, heartbreaking isn't a, that sounds,

it such sounds negative and I don't mean it to be. But for the last couple weeks, every time I see my daughter, it's like I'm looking at, I'm looking at a time accordion. The, it's like she's two and eight and 14 and 18, almost 19, and then seven and then nine, and then she's six months old and all at the same time. And I'm flooded with memories in every direction at all times. It's been a wild experience.

It's been insanely emotional. And the trip to Michigan really helped prepare me for that and process a little bit of it but unfortunately when I got there, um, I found out that My grandmother died She was 93 it wasn't completely unexpected. She her health had been failing for a while and she she died a quick and painless death

surrounded by her children which is a man. It's a death that I hope I'm lucky enough to have someday if I don't live forever which I kind of would like to. Anyway, I'm not trying to get too deeply into my personal life. Just wanted to say that, well, she was the matriarch of my family and she was kind of the fulcrum. And. You know, it hit me in a double whammy, you know, it's like talking about an emotionally overwhelming weekend, I'm trying to relax a little bit, but I'm also dealing with the impending countdown of my daughter leaving the nest and then also my grandmother leaving this world. The, you know, one of the few constants in my entire

life for 49 years. And, woo wee, luckily my mother and my father-in-law were incredibly supportive and insightful and helpful, and both of whom have been through this before. And, you know, it's just like, God, you really are lucky if you have family you can lean on in times of need. Whether it's, you know, family by blood or by choice, felt very lucky in the moment to have my father-in-law and my mother.

They really helped me through that. Both sides of that, losing my grandmother and, you know, my daughter leaving. Anyway, like I said, I'm getting a little in the weeds with my own personal life. I do just want to say that. Really appreciate my grandmother for a myriad of reasons. She she she was the heart of our family and she taught us all how to love and care and respect each other. She was many things to many people and.

I'm just. I'm just happy she's finally with her sisters and her husband again. Anyway it's a it's a it's been a little distracting dealing with the with that and then and then Millicent going to college and so I haven't had a lot of time to dive into like I said planning so all Alright episodes. I came back from Detroit. I was trying to explain the travel complications. I just came back from Michigan, had two days with Millie, and then to fly off to college to meet her there,

to move her in, and then immediately to visit my family in Grieve. Makes it hard to record episodes of So Alright and ANMA and obviously the regulation. So I've been kind of fitting it in where I can. I will say, wanted to give a little bit of a home. I've been thinking a lot about now that I am renting versus owning a home. I have spent many years of my life espousing the benefits of home ownership. Home ownership, I don't know if I said that right

or stumbled on it, but I'll just give you my history. At 23 years old, I got out of the army. I used my VA home loan to buy my first house. If you wanna know how different the world was in 1999 when I bought my first home. I bought it for $92,500. 1200 square foot home built in 1984, somewhere around there. And I was making $8.50 an hour at a tech support center. I got approved for a loan, partially because of the VA home loan. At the time, I had an insanely good interest rate.

I believe it was 7%. That was very good at the time. And I was able to, in 1998, support myself and a wife on an $8.50 salary with a $92,000 home. I didn't have a lot of money left over at the end of the day, but we paid the bills and it's crazy for me to think about how different the world is from that right now because that feels like yesterday to me in some ways.

And it is good luck finding any plot of land in Austin for less than $200,000, let alone a whole ass house for under 100K. But from that moment on, I have owned a home. I upgraded when I had a daughter and I wanted to move to a safer, more family friendly neighborhood. And then eventually I bought another house,

the house that I lived in, you know, throughout the entirety of the fuckface saga. From the first episode to the last episode was in that house, recently sold it, now I'm in a rental for the first time in, rental home for the first time since 1999. The last lease I signed was 1998. And so here we are in 2024.

What is that, 26 years later. And I was a little scared about renting. I was a little scared about giving up home ownership because I, if you've owned a property, if you've been lucky enough to own a property, your home is your castle and there is a certain feeling. It's very similar to getting married. If you've ever been married, when you'll know what I'm talking about.

When you, when, when, when the judge or the officiant or whoever says, I now pronounce you husband and wife or partner or however it's designated and it becomes official and legal, there is a. whatever it's designated, and it becomes official and legal. There is a instant feeling of safety and security and firmament in your life, where you feel like you have planted a tent pole, a foundational block of the building that is your life. And it's awesome.

Home ownership feels much the same way. You feel like no matter what happens in the world, I have this thing, I have this thing. This is my place in the universe. This is my spot. This is my kingdom. This is my little plot of earth that they can't take away from me.

But of course they can and that's the other shitty part of home ownership is that you're paying a mortgage every month and that mortgage is dependent on you having a job and being able to make that payment every month and if you can't make that payment every month and if you can't make it enough months in a row then your house goes away and you lose your investment back to the bank or to the lender if You've ever owned a home. You know what that feeling is like, especially if you're living month to month It's its own kind of Hell in a certain way because the worst thing that can happen to me if I get kicked out of this house is I'm on

the street with all my shit I've lost a place to stay house is I'm on the street with all my shit. I've lost a place to stay. But if I lose my house that I own, that I can't make the payment on and the bank forecloses on me, I lose that investment. I lose that piece of my life. I lose everything I put into that. I'm still on the street with all my shit around me, but I lose everything that I've invested into that home. And when you own a home, you invest a whole hell of a lot into it. And I'm not just talking financially, but you will invest a whole hell of a lot financially. You know, just

going back and looking at the old house, the fuckface house I had, you know, I made a lot of comedy out of all the shit breaking in that house. I had some bad luck with that house. But I wouldn't say I had worse luck than most homeownership I owned two houses previously This is part of it your air conditioner breaks the washing machine breaks something gets backed up and there's a flood in your under your sink a Rat chews on a cable and suddenly your lights flickered like there's a million

different things that can go wrong in a home and you're responsible for all of them. And that is a pressure I thought I was totally fine with. And I guess I was, I thought I was totally fine with it. I liked it. I loved home ownership. It was all worth it because I felt like even if I have to like buy a new air conditioner, you know, three weeks into buying that home, the AC went out and I had to put in a whole new air conditioner. But I was happy to do it because it was my air conditioner that was going to be there forever. I was investing in my future and my home's future. At that time, I really did think my life was very different. And I really did think that that home was a place I could be in forever. I learned over a few years that that wasn't going to be the case.

And when I figured that out, then I that that wasn't going to be the case. And when I figured that out, then I started to feel a little differently about the home and I stopped wanting to kind of invest in it in the same way, you know, didn't want to put like custom made shelves and that kind of stuff in after a certain point, because I had an idea that that, you know, we would eventually be moving point being you're okay with those investments in your home when you own it typically. However, you can't always afford them and that sucks. You know, they're often come as a complete and total surprise or shock. And it's very rarely at a time when you have a

bunch of extra money to throw around. And if you do, you probably don't want to throw it around at something as unsexy as new pipes under your house. You can get behind like upgrading your front yard, putting some new plants in, or painting a kitchen. You know, something where you can see the improvement, that helps a little bit, but man when you have to just sink a couple of grand into something to get it back to the way it was and you don't physically see the benefit other than it works again after it didn't work,

that part kinda sucks, I will admit. Anyway, whole point being, I thought that I would be a homeowner forever. I thought that that was the way. And I started to feel like real shit for the next generations, because millennials can't afford homes. And most Gen Xers, honestly, are having trouble

keeping their homes. Millennials can't afford to get a home, and Gen Z is completely fucked. That poor fucking generation. And so you start to feel like I gotta hold on to the thing I have because I'm very lucky to have it. But, you know, we decided to sell the house for a myriad of reasons, flexibility

being the chief one. And now that I live in a house that I don't own, you know, I talked a little bit on the regulation podcast about how in the first week I own the house, the washing machine on the second floor leaked and the ceiling in the kitchen had to be removed and replaced. And it was a whole thing. And it didn't cost me a dime and it didn't really take any of my time or stress at all, other than I had to be here to let a guy in twice to fix it. Man, in the four or five months that I have rented, it has completely and totally changed my perspective.

And I wanna say to the millennials and the Gen Zers out there, anybody that wants a home and they can't have one, I understand I'm speaking from a privileged place because I have owned homes in the past, I do not now, but I have seen both sides and I gotta say, don't sleep on renting. It's a much less stressful way to live

and it's a hell of a lot cheaper. I know that the idea is that when you have a mortgage, your rent, aka your mortgage is going to be recouped in some fashion, because you're in theory, paying your house off, and you'll get that money back in some fashion when you sell it. The reality is damn near for the first 18 years, you own a home, almost all the money you pay off on it is interest anyway. So you're really not paying a whole hell of a lot off on the house.

You're just either gonna hold onto it forever or hoping that you have it long enough, 10 years or so, that the value of the home has increased such that that's where you recoup your money when you sell it, right? Like that's where you get a return on that investment. But every sound financial advisor on earth will tell you, you should never look at your primary residence as an investment because it will only break you. And I think that is a hundred percent true.

So if you don't want to look at your primary residence, if you're not supposed to look at your primary residence as an investment. Don't. I gotta say, I was so scared to rent and to feel the impermanence and to no longer feel that ownership over something. How did I describe it earlier? That foundational block in the building of my life, right? To not have that or to have it knocked down. And I don't miss it at all. It's just easier every day of my life.

I wake up less stressed and I go to bed less stressed and that's for a myriad of reasons. But the house is a lot of it, it really is. Not having the headache and the overhead and the worry, even if it's not a tremendous worry in the back of your head of like, oh fuck, I gotta make my mortgage, you know? The new thing better work out or how long can I float the mortgage payment

before I gotta start worrying about, you know, figuring out. So I don't have those worries in the same way now. I mean, I have to worry about paying my rent. Absolutely, don't get me wrong. But it's a different level of fear in the back of your mind kind of clawing at your neurosis and I'm learning to enjoy it, I guess is what I will say. So the update on home ownership versus home rentership, if that's a word, is I am currently really

appreciating home renting for what it is and it is a it's a big stress relief at least Currently we'll see how I feel in six months or a year I'm sure the pendulum will swing at some point in the other direction, but I gotta say it the the peace of mind of not having to worry about the home is It's pretty fucking rad after 26 years of it. I need to wrap this up, but I meant to answer some questions last couple of episodes that I didn't get to that someone sent in that I appreciated.

And so I'm gonna do it now. This is for Richard S. who asked a couple of questions. He said, been a huge fan of your content for 10 plus years. Thank you so much for the laughter and joy you've brought me over the years. Well, that's very kind of you, Richard, thank you. And by the way, I'm gonna been a huge fan of your content for 10 plus years. Thank you so much for the laughter and joy you've brought me over the years. Well, that's very kind of you, Richard, thank you. And by the way, I'm gonna do a Q&A episode. Y'all sent in a bunch of questions.

I just wanted to knock these out because I've been meaning to. He asked me, what's your favorite experience while traveling? And I sat down and I really tried to think of that from traveling across the country with my mom and my aunt as a very small child to taking my child to Japan, to just getting away out in the desert in Arizona

with a couple of friends during the pandemic. There have been a lot of really one, I've been blessed to have a lot of wonderful travel memories and very few negative travel memories. But if I had to pick one, the one that jumps to my head right now is when Millie and I went to Iceland for a daddy daughter vacation,

we went all the way down to the, I'm gonna say it was like the southeastern edge of Iceland and we took a boat tour around icebergs. And we got to literally touch icebergs that were over a thousand years old and it was just a thing to behold. I gotta say it was a wild experience. It felt dangerous and exhilarating in all the right ways

and we had a blast and I've had a million other amazing experiences but that's the one that jumps to mind. Next question was, what has been your biggest piece of advice to this generation? I have been mulling over this question, Richard, for a while, not just because you've asked it, but I also have been, you know,

in the process of having these conversations with Millie as she moves on to college. And she and I talked about it. We had essentially this discussion yesterday and I gave her the best advice I could give her. And we both agreed that it sounded a little boomerish and maybe it wasn't good for this podcast. So I'll say this.

Generation Z needs to reclaim physical media. I was one of those people over the last 20 years who has been begging for digital media for day one releases for the ease and the convenience of a digital world. And I love it, I do. But I cannot deny the fact that physical media as it dies, ownership dies with it.

I didn't understand that. I couldn't wrap my head around that at the time, but I can see it every fucking day. Services turn off. Things that you think you own digitally disappear and you suddenly no longer own them. This is happening constantly. Every time you turn on the news or I read Reddit, I find out about a service that went away and people that thought they owned a bunch of movies

that they bought on that service now lose access to it. Or they buy a certain kind of satellite radio that gets discontinued and then it can no longer be used, even though they have a lifetime subscription to it. Things like this are happening constantly and we no longer, and I understand that this is a common and understood problem and that I am probably preaching to the choir here, but this is my advice.

Reclaim ownership. Do it via physical means. We no longer own things that we think we own. We only rent them. You think you own the things that you buy digitally on Apple or what other device or service you buy it, but you really don't. Those services can go away. They can just, they can fucking change the rules and decide you no longer have access

to things. Sure. Maybe you can try to sue, there can be class action lawsuits, et cetera, et cetera, but we are under the mistaken idea that we own things digitally, and I don't think we do. Even if we buy them, I think we are leasing them, and we have them until somebody decides to take that access away from us,

but they can't fucking take a VHS tape or a CD out of your hand. And so, start making shit again physically. I'm not saying that there's not a need for digital media, I still am gonna use it more than anything else in my life probably, but I'm just, that's just my dire warning to you. If you want to own something in the future, you need to physically own it. You need to hold it in your hand.

So if ownership is important to you in that way, if it's not, if you're okay with just basically a subscription service to everything you wanna enjoy for the rest of your life, maybe that's the new model, maybe that's just the way things are supposed to work going forward, but if you wanna own something and know that no one will ever be able to take it away from you, you need to have it physically in your possession, which I realize sounds very funny considering the conversation

I just had about homeownership versus rentership. If you could live forever, what is one thing you would want to experience? I would like to experience living forever. That's the one thing I want to experience. I would absolutely like to live forever and I'm going to plan on it. I'm hoping that technology will be as such by the time I get old enough that I can just transplant my brain into something else and hopefully my consciousness can continue in some fashion. If you could go to space, would you wanna go

or would you be frightened? Fuck no. We were talking about this the other day. I don't remember who we is. It was me and somebody. And there was a time in my life when I would have done anything to go to space. And I don't know when the switch flipped,

but you couldn't pay me enough money to go to space. I saw when Captain Kirk went up in the fucking Jeff Bezos spaceship and they only like touched space and came back down. And what he said, what Shatner said when he came down is exactly how I think I would feel. He was horrified by the expanse and emptiness of it. And it made him and us feel so insignificant and tiny.

I don't want that perspective and I don't want to be that far away from safety and ground. Absolutely not. Enjoy space, enjoy Mars. If I could teleport there maybe, but I have no desire to get on a spaceship and go into space to anywhere, even if it's just into space recreationally for a tour or something and then back 30 years from now when it becomes a thing, I'm good. I like earth, I like the ground.

I'm on the second floor of my little rental home. That's high enough, I'm happy. So there you go, Richard. Thank you for those questions I've been thinking about him for a couple weeks as I said So I'm glad I could finally answer them for you and I should probably stop rambling at this point I do need to give y'all a Song of the episode because I forgot recently and I don't want to do that again

So Today's song is going to be Easy Street by Aminaz. I hope I'm saying that right. It's a Zamrock band from the 70s. I think they are from Kitway Zambia and they had an album called Africa that is just fucking awesome. Really awesome. Listen to all their music if you can. But, Easy Street is a great place to start. So there's your Song of the Day. Have a wonderful day.

And I got a little bit of travel ahead of me. Then I'll be back, hopefully, sitting in this chair for a while and I can get back to streaming and doing that kind of stuff because I have missed it. And I have missed it and I've missed that daily connection with y'all. All right. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la.

This is the end of the show. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la. Mwah!