Sunday Sitdown with Willie Geist - Jerry Seinfeld

Episode Date: December 16, 2018

It’s been more than 20 years since “Seinfeld” left the air as the #1 show on television. Since then, Jerry Seinfeld has continued the career of a stand-up comedian that started when he was just a 20-year-old from Long Island. In this week’s “Sunday Sitdown,” Willie Geist chats with the comedy legend about that lengthy career, why he still loves the craft of writing jokes, and his latest residency at the Beacon Theater in New York City. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey guys, Willie Geist here with another edition of the Sunday Sit Down podcast. Thank you for bearing with my raspy voice at the end of a long week. On this week's episode, man, what else can I say except two words? Jerry Seinfeld. We met up with Jerry at the Beacon Theater in New York City, where he's getting ready to start in January with a residency, where he'll do stand-up shows to a night a couple times a month through June. You can get tickets online now. He doesn't do a ton of interviews, so we were so psyched to get the chance to sit with him for a while.

We talked about comedy, big picture, his start in comedy, comedy in general, Kevin Hart and the Oscars. Seinfeld, how it almost didn't happen, how the NBC research team said this is not going to work and how he got over that moment and became Jerry Seinfeld. And by the way, he gets into what his life might have looked like if Seinfeld had been killed in its infancy. A great conversation with Jerry Seinfeld right now on the story. Sunday Sit Down podcast. Thanks for doing this, Jerry. My pleasure. My pleasure. So this place has kind of become your home for stand-up in New York City. You've done the residency before coming back to do it again. What brings you back here again and again? It's that baseball glove that just you can't beat it.

You know, you have a few gloves in your life, but there's that one that's just the perfect fit and the sound when the ball hits the glove. And that's your glove. And that's your glove. And that's your and this house is my baseball glove. I love the stage. I love the way the audience is laid out. And at this point in my racket, what I like people, when people say I saw you at the beacon,

I know what they saw. Right. And it's what I want them. It's what I want it to be. The baseball glove thing I'm laughing about because I have my third grade baseball glove still with the phone number from my house back there. Oh, that's great.

Have a catch with myself. Yeah. So what do you do to prepare for a residency different than one-off stand-up gig? Is there something you do different? I don't really do anything different except that I just feel different. And New York things, you know, I know who I'm talking to. Right. You know, I'm talking to New Yorkers.

Right. So when I talk about how annoying is it to be constantly recommended restaurants by people and how they push you, you have to go to this restaurant. It's like, okay, you know, it's just the homeiness. Right. It's hominess. Or the street cleaner, you know, what is that guy doing? Are they cleaning?

Are they really cleaning the street? It's just kind of moving the trash around from what I can tell. Yeah. Spinning it. With the piss trail of water out the back and are they just laughing in there? Watch out. We're cleaning up. So what do you,

how does this process work for you? You've been doing this forever. Yeah. But to put a great act together that you know is going to kill in a room like this, are you walking around New York looking at stuff? What are you doing? Willie, Willie, stop, stop, stop.

There's no putting an act together. Okay. Okay. A stand-up comedian is an act. Right. You are an act. Right. You breathe and live an act.

It's not a, It's not, this is not Hello Dolly. It's constant. It's ongoing. It's constant. It's organic. You live inside it. It's like a snow globe.

Comedy is a snow globe. You live in it. It's not even a lifestyle. It's a ecosystem that I live inside of. So I was walk out and it's like, well, I was in Utica or I was in Miami. And so I have all my stuff. Right.

And then there's the New York aspect of working here that I love. And then it's just, you know, I don't really, I, the funny thing about, I imagine it's the same with actors and everybody else, but communities are constantly talking about it. Yeah. You know? Right. I get together with Colin Quinn, like twice a week at a diner, and we talk about the same things every time about writing and trying to make this bit work and that bit. But you're, okay, so within that ecosystem, you're driving or you're walking down Broadway, you see the street sweeper, you have that instinct that there's something weird about that street sweeper.

Yeah. You say that's stupid. Yeah. So what do you do? You go write it down and say maybe this works in? I like to play with it on a pad. Okay, right, the yellow pads. Yeah, I love my yellow pads.

And I find that to be, that's my, that's kind of like my steam room, you know. It's like I close the door. I'm going to play with some ideas. and I just like to just think of, well, what's funny about it, you know? Right. Most comedians do not do that, in my experience of talking to them.

They like to work it out on stage. I like to have both. I like to have a little architecture, and then I like to play with it on stage. And then here's the other big secret of comedy. The audience writes most of it. You kind of give them what you think is funny, and they grade your,

work. Right. Second to second. Second to second. Yeah. Good word, bad word. You know. I had a bit about the guy that has to come out and complain and the guy from the postmaster when he says, we're going to go up another penny on the stamps, the pain, that, you know, we can't make it. With the, the, so it's about, what was the word I had? The, um, the, the, the inference. It's the cost of the infrastructure is killing us. I just love the pain that the postal service is in about the stamp. For one more penny. Yeah, we're going to go up another penny and, you know, we're sweating it out and we're trying.

Well, the word infrastructure is not, they don't like that word. Right. It's just too much work to digest it. Okay. And I couldn't think of another word. I didn't really spend any time on it, but finally I changed it to system. This is the crap. And that just is a more digestible word.

Right. So the word infrastructure just slowed my rhythm there a little bit. But this is, I don't know if other people do this, but this is my thing. So if you don't test it out on stage, how do you know it's funny first? You don't. Before you walk out on stage. You don't. You just trust yourself.

No, you don't. There's no trust. It's not going to work. Eight or nine out of ten, it's not going to work. but it is going to work for you. No, no. Yeah. No?

What you see is what worked. But you're only seeing 1.5% of what I've tried. So who gets to see the stuff that didn't work? Every night you will see some stuff that does not work. Every night. I was working on a thing about when my wife asked me to take a picture of her, the clutch of fear, of marriage fear that I have, Didn't work.

I don't know. Other people don't experience that. Whatever picture I take as a husband of 18 years, she's not going to like it. No way. And the other thing that hurts my photography is my hands are shaking. Because I'm nervous, right? Right.

Do you have this experience when you take pictures of your wife? Oh, yeah, because you know, let me see it. Let me see it. And I already know what you're going to say. And then the worst part is, sometimes she just hands it. to somebody else. Yes. You know what?

Right. You're not up for the job. Yeah. Well, I'll tell you right now, this bit is going nowhere. Not even a smile over here. No, it's not funny. All right. Or whatever.

You don't even know why. Right. It's just. And you're okay just saying goodbye to a joke. You have to. Yeah, you have to. Yeah. It didn't work.

Forget it. Even though I loved it. No, sometimes it hurts. It always hurts. It hurts. It hurts. Sometimes you really fall in love with something. What was the thing I was, oh, I have this thing about, you may not like this for your Sunday morning vibe.

It might be too rough, but. No, no, go ahead. It's about how Uber is really some sort of a prostitution ring in that each one, each, if you look at the car, the phone, and the driver, each one's somewhat pimping out. Each one's taking advantage of somebody else. And so, you know, the phone, in the end, the phone is the biggest pimp because he's telling the drivers, you just get who I tell you to get, I'll handle the money. So I love that. That is good.

I love that. Now, has that been on stage yet? Yeah, that's been on stage just a couple times. Okay. And it works. But then I have to figure out who the other pimps and whores are in the story. Right. But the end of it is the phone is the big pimp going, you get who I tell you to get.

That's right. I'll handle the money. Don't worry about the money. I got the money. You give me the money. Might we hear that at the beacon? Yeah, yeah. I'll be doing that.

But I'm still trying to figure it out. Okay. So this is what in stand-up we call a switch piece. This is called a switch piece. Right. So you take the characteristics of pimping and prostitution, and then you take Uber and the phone. and you try and, we might call it a match cut

in film, we call it a match cut. You try and overlay the same thing. So if you think about it, the phone is pimping out the driver and the passengers. He's taking all the money. Right. Right.

He's controlling the money. That's good. So when does that come to you? You're in an Uber? You're thinking about Uber? At what moment? I'll tell you, it started with, it started with this joke, which is the only reason people still exist is phones need pockets to ride around it. So it started with that joke. And then I thought, what's the next part of it is that?

Well, the phones are in charge. That's the center of it. Yeah, the phones are in charge. Right. So is Uber on my phone so I can get around or because it makes me take the phone because the phone's using me to get around? Now, I happen to feel. Okay, so then that, now the first joke is, of course, completely absurd, right? The phones are using us for pockets.

That's just a funny, absurd thing. Right. So the next level, which is that Uber is just to trick you and to take in the phone because the phone needs you for transportation. Right? Right. Completely absurd, right? But it worked.

So now I'm on a scaffold on a scaffold. And then the third level, which is the prostitution and the pimp thing, which is why this is the most intricately complex joke I have ever done in my entire career. It's not a huge laugh, by the way. It's just my obsession with comedic structure. So if you look at that joke, it's three levels to it. Did you follow the whole thing? Totally. And I don't think people have any idea that there's that much construction that goes in it.

Yeah, each one is built on the other thing. All of it is completely ludicrous. Completely ludicrous. And I get them to stay with me through that absurdity. It's very MC Escher-esque. So that's my, this is my life. I love making these things. It's just something I like to make.

Now, another interesting question for a guy in your position, as famous as you are and as well-liked as you are, is that you know when you walk out on this stage, there's a 99% chance it's going to go well. In other words, these people watch Seinfeld. They've loved you for 30 years. They're here to laugh. They're here to see Jerry.

What does that feel like? Does it feel like you don't always have to earn it the way you used to in the old days? No, no, there's no such thing. The stand-up profession is, it's, it's, It's brutally accurate. There isn't a 99.9%. It's actually more like 42.7.

Well, Willie, if you, if your timing is off a hair, they don't laugh. Laughter is not, you can't laugh at a reputation. You don't laugh because you thought he was funny. It's either funny right this second. You can't fake laugh. Nobody fake laughs. I mean, I have dozens and dozens of comedians that I love. But when they're off, they're off.

And you're just sitting there and you go, yeah, I'm not laughing. It's not funny tonight. So that's why it is slightly terrorizing every time. And if you like that, if you like a daily slight terror, you will like being a stand-up comedian. But if you don't, and a lot of people don't,

a lot of people like being funny. Everybody likes being funny. Right. And it's so much fun to be funny and make someone laugh or make an audience laugh. But there is a thin ice. You hear the ice cracking under your feet. It's, and it's, you get scared, instantly scared. I do anyway. I never feel that confidence that you're describing, honestly. So, but you probably get the benefit of the doubt maybe? Sure. Yeah.

Of course. And I have a tremendous amount of experience that. But, you know, I can get myself out of a lot of tight spots. The thing you don't know when you start out is, oh, I'm just talking a little too fast. Or I'm too loud. Or I'm too soft. Or I need to stand over here. Oh, I've been standing over here too long. You don't know any of that in the beginning.

In the beginning, you just kind of do it, and it works. And you think, oh, I got this. It's like bowling. Oh, you just kind of hit the middle pen, and then a lot of them fall down. And then you learn how to, like your cameraman, he knows those little dials. Right. And you learn, like, if I go out and it's not where I want it to be,

a lot of times I can solve it on the flight. Like a good athlete. Like hitters getting fooled on a certain pitch. He knows he thinks I can't hit that. I think I can. I just have to wait a bit. You know what I mean? So that's what you rely upon, is you know how to adjust,

which is why I also say comedy is so much closer to sports than the arts. Stand-up comedy is very, very close to sports in the life of it and the do or die of it. Right. And these adjustments and the dailiness of it. Right. And the fact that you can't rest on it.

and what you're saying, you're laurels. Exactly. You strike out four times. Yeah, nobody cares how many hits you've had. Right. This guy's on base now. Right. Right. You're also, one of the things I've always been impressed about you

is how professional a comedian you are. And by that, I mean, not just the layering the jokes and all that, but you got a suit on, you walk out on the stage, like a presidential candidate going into a rally with his chest out. Do you know what I mean? And as a fan, as somebody who follows your comedy, say he's taking his job seriously. Like this is, you don't lean on the mic and go, what else?

No, no, no what else? No what else? No. And I think there's something to be said for that. What else maybe works for some other people? Yeah. But it's never been your thing. No, I am very grateful and I feel very, very fortunate to have this profession.

And I want to look like my heroes from the 60s. I want to look like Frank Gorson and, old George Carlin and Alan King, I love those guys. So I wanted to be those guys. Right. So that's another reason. It's a little salute to them. But you also don't even pause

between jokes. No. It's just, I mean, this guy is precise. He knows where he's going with every word he says literally. Yeah. And I don't see that with all stand-up comedians. I don't even know if people like that anymore. What I do. Oh, I think they do. Well, maybe they do.

but it's very old-fashioned. Yeah. And it's not the current vogue, and I'm fine with that. But I think people like a little more personal revelation in their comedy. And that's fine. There's three generations behind me doing it. But my thing is I want a number of jokes of a certain quality. and laughs.

I want the room to just be ringing with laughs. That's what I, that's what I want. So what is that current vogue of comedy? What's different now than it was when you were coming up? I think it has more depth, more texture. I think it's terrific. It's not my style, you know? If I thought there was something that funny about my life,

I probably would talk about it, but I'm giving you the funniest stuff I have every time. Right. Yeah. So, in other words, they get into their personal life and relationships and sex and all the rest of it. Yeah. Well, sex is, you know, nobody, nobody's, you know, nobody's thrown off by that type of thing anymore. And nobody thinks, oh, my God, this is a little risque.

Right, right, right. You know, nobody thinks that. Right. But in my, you know, when I started, you couldn't do that and get on TV. And then I just kind of like the elegance of it. I kind of thought, well, what if Carrie Grant or Frank Sinatra was a comedian? Wonder what kind of material they would do? And I thought, well, that's what I want to do.

I like that, you know, those guys. I like those guys. I love, I was talking to a comedian the other day, whose name I won't mention, who was struggling with his wardrobe. And I go, he says, I want to look grown-up. and I said James Colburn Steve McQueen

Sinatra they look grown up but they look like they mean business you know don't don't look like you're there to put out snacks no you know you want to see a V-neck sweater you know

so there's a I like a manliness yes you know like this is this is you know I like to come out here I'm a man doing a job. Yeah.

Yeah. And you are. It's a tough job, and I'm up for it, you know. I don't want to hang out. And it's a respect for the audience a little bit, too, right? I'm here. I know you paid money to be here. Yeah, yeah.

No notes. You don't see any papers coming out. Right. What else am I thinking about? Right, right. I do that in little clubs, but I would never do it here. Is the elegance point also the reason that you've never worked blue? Yes.

Same idea? Well, it's also, it's just an aspect of the skill. You know, can you get the same laughs that the other guys get without doing that? In the world of comedy, inside it, we all know. Right. We know. Right. That's garbage.

That's beautiful. You know. Right. There are people that do work dirty that do incredible stuff. But for the most part. part, it's an enormous, it helps your material a lot, you know, to use profanity. It helps. But isn't it easier to, maybe a little lazy?

I feel like it's harder to do what you do than to drop F-bonds all the way. Other audiences might feel like, well, it's not raw enough. There's no edge to it. You know, that edge doesn't interest me. It's valid. I mean, Bernie Mac, who's pretty dirty, is one of my favorite comedians of all. time. And even when he's dirty, but he's never, he's never relying on it. Right. It's just a subtle little, when you hear a curse word in the last line of the bit,

that's when you know. Not solved. That puzzle was not solved. That's the cop out. Well, it's like, it's okay. It's fine. Right. But as comedians, we know. I love listening to talk about comedy with other comedians. Obviously, the show is the comedians and cars. But I saw an interview where you said once that comedians don't really laugh at each other. If they hear a good joke, they go, that's good. Because you're always studying. Yeah, but you laugh too.

Yeah. But there's stuff that's going to work for the audience that's not going to make a comedian laugh. Right. I thought of this because I was at a charity event about two weeks ago. and Jim Gaffigan was on stage, and I was sitting across the dinner table from John Mullaney. And I was just watching Mullaney watch Gaffigan. That's funny.

And Gaffigan, the room's blown up, and he was going, mm. Yeah. Or, hmm. Right. You know, even not heckling. I'm just like, I don't quite get that one. But I was just watching another good comedian, observe, and study. It's an incredibly intricate thing you guys do.

It's very, very intricate process. It's a surgical process. You know, if anyone who's ever done an open mic night and tried to make an audience laugh, it's incredibly difficult. And everyone thinks they can do it. Sure. Until they get up there.

Yeah. So do you remember the first time someone told you you were funny sometime in Massapequa? Yeah, sure. Was it your mom or your dad? No, I was never funny around them. But my friends did. But I thought they were just as funny.

Yeah. So the first time I got up in a little club in front of 20 people in Midtown Manhattan at a place called the Golden Lion Pub, who had opened mic nights Tuesdays and Thursdays, and they left. That was just, I never thought I could make a non-friend left. Right. laugh.

Right. That's, you know, now you're going across an ocean. It's a person doesn't even know me, you know. No turning back from there for you? No, that was it. How old were you at that point? 20. And then so how old are you that night on Carson that we were talking about?

26. 26 years old. Yeah. I told you before we started watching that clip again, I know how big a night that was for you. But to watch Johnny Carson, not just give you the famous that one, Uh-huh. But as the applause continued, and I'm waiting for him to throw to a commercial break or something,

he's got this look on his face. And he's looking over at you, like, almost like, hmm, there's something there. And in hindsight, knowing who you became and all your success, there's almost some prophecy to it. It's crazy. How big was that night for you? Well, I described the other night at the Golden Lion, and then there was that night on the Tonight Show. and then there was performing in the East Room of the White House for the president and Paul McCartney

performing. And that's it. And that's the end of it. Those are the nights. Those are the three nights. Right. Yeah, those are the three nights. As you moved along from and moved into Seinfeld, I interviewed Julia Louis Dreyfus for the show. And she was laughing as I read back to her that famous NBC research note.

Yeah. Do you still have that framed in your bathroom somewhere? Yes, yes. How did you, I mean, people don't realize how close Seinfeld was not to becoming a show. Yeah. I think the line was no segment of the audience expressed an interest in seeing the show again. Right. How did you get through that?

How did you power over that? No, I figured we were dead at that point. It was over. Here's the funny part of the story to me. You know, the whole thing started. The reason I got the series was my manager George Shapiro wrote a note to Brandon Tardukoff, the president of NBC,

and it was one sentence. He said, call me a crazy guy. But I think someday Jerry Seinfeld is going to be doing a series on NBC. Now, when he wrote that note, it was 1988. I had been on the Tonight Show for seven years.

three times a year destroying for seven years. Nice young man is coming out in front of our show as a total unknown time after time after time and making these people laugh. And George still has to say to NBC, I know this sounds crazy. I thought this just the other week. What was so crazy about the idea?

That was network television in the 80s. We don't need you. Right. Who the hell are you? So what? So you're a young stand-up comedian who goes on the Tonight Show, whatever number time, 20 times in a row and kills. So what? That was the dominance of network television at that time.

There was no competition. There was the only game in town. a guy like me, could you imagine, I would never have gotten past my second set today before they would have grabbed me. Right. Right? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Hey, this guy's pretty good. Just grab him. Let's do somebody come up with something for this kid. Get him on Netflix, Hulu, something. Yeah, he's decent. So that's what I thought was. It just struck me so funny the other day.

That's interesting. What a crazy idea. He's been on TV for eight years and doing great. Imagine giving him a show. Why? So did you think it was dead at that point? You did? Yeah. Do you ever think about what your life would have been like if it had actually been dead? I guess it would have been okay. It wouldn't have been as good. I don't know. Look, I mean, look at what happens to stand-up comedy in the past few years, which I, of course, never would have quit it, obviously. I was doing fine, actually, even before the series.

I'd still be around. Who knows? I might be in the same place. I might be. But, you know, it was great to be able to make that and contribute that. I was, I took the kids, my wife and I took the kids to do meals on wheels yesterday. You know, you go around and you give food to people who only get. get that one meal a day and they only see one person a day. And every room we went in, it was,

you know, an older person or a sick, a frail person and the TV's on. In every one of these rooms, the TV's on. Yeah. And I thought, oh, that's what you're doing for people. That TV, they're not, they're not coming to the beacon. They can't see that, you know, but you can reach them through TV. and it made me realize, oh, that was really worth it to make that TV show because I never would have gotten in that room, that little room with that sick person. It's worth it. Wow. Yeah, it was really powerful.

It just hit me. That TV, that's the only thing getting in there. You're not going to show, you know? TV is still a lifeline for billions. millions of people. You never thought of it that way. No, I never thought of it that way. Kind of think of a thing of show business. I'm thinking, well, I want to be in show business.

Want to do a TV show business. Right. You're not thinking your, you know, whatever, the jokes on wheels, right? Right. How else could I get? And they, you know, a lot of them recognized me. And it was terrific. It was lovely. But I can't stay and talk to you. But that show, I'll be on tonight. Yeah. You know, you can watch

that. Right. So it's just about connecting. You know, it's a nice feeling. It's a very nice feeling. The other side of that, you talk about elderly people. There are young people now who weren't alive when the show was on. Sure. I mean, I've got an 11 year old and a nine-year-old who were figuring out the world and what's funny and they're watching the Simpsons and then they see Seinfeld. Yeah. Like, oh, what's this? And so now you've got a nine-year-old who's going to know all the episode?

because they're on every night. Yeah. I mean, this thing might go on forever, Jerry. They might. That'd be a good thing? Good thing. Yeah. All comedy is a good thing.

Yeah. So we were talking a minute ago about modern comedy and what it's like to do comedy in this age where people are perpetually offended by things. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Your response to that in the past has been, it's not real, it's a joke.

Mm-hmm. Is it hard? Is it harder for you or do you get to just do what you've always done? I don't really have much problem with it, but I see a lot of other people having problem with it. And do you remember the bit in one of my episodes where I have the dentist, the great Brian Cranston, who converts to Judaism because he wants to tell Jew jokes? And then I go into confession and I tell the priest, I think he's converted to Jewish. Judaism just so he can tell these Jew jokes. And the priest says, and this offends you as a Jewish person.

You know the punchline? And I go, no, it offends me as a comedian. So that comes to my mind. When I see some of these things, it's like, okay, really for that joke? Why, you know, I understand that we, the comedians have to fight certain battles, but at least make it for a joke that's worth it. You know, if the Pimp Association of America decides to boycott me or picket me because of my Pimp Uber joke, at least it was worth it. Right.

It's a good joke. Right. At least I could say, all right, you know, but it was a good joke. They're going to come down hard on you. They might. They might. Yeah. Yeah, you don't want that.

But somebody, you look at somebody like Kevin Hart, who had to step away from the Oscar. because of tweets from years ago that he felt like he'd already talked about. What do you think about that kind of culture where you have to explain and apologize for everything you've ever done or said? Kevin is in a position because he's a brilliant comedian to kind of decide what he wants to do.

He doesn't have to step down, but he can. And when you look at that situation, well, who got screwed in that deal? I think Kevin's going to be fine, you know. But how many people? Find another Kevin Hart. That's not so easy.

He's a brilliant guy with a movie career, you know. I don't know. So I thought it was kind of a funny little, what do they call it? Tet of Tet or something? Who really lost that battle? I don't know. But most of the time, comedians, we are expected to be the most agile in terms of how we think and construct our thoughts

and what comes out of our mouth. That's how we got the job. Right. You know, so I'm not really worried about comedy as a thing and comedians as a group. We have been navigating these slalom gates forever, forever. Look, when I started out, you know, there were dirty comedians. You know, go back to the cursing thing.

Well, if you want to get on the Tonight Show, if you want to get on TV, you can't use any of those words. All those words are out. And a lot of us went, okay, I still want to play. I'll play. Yeah. Oh, here's a new rule. This, we're cutting this out.

Okay, I'll get around that. So that's our thing. Right. That's our thing. Whatever, it's like Lindsay Vaughn, wherever you put the gates, I'm going to make them. Right. You know.

Right. I'm going to make the gates. that's that's the gig and do you I mean but that the whole it's not just comedians it's politicians it's anybody in public life if you do it I mean the guy won the Heisman trophy the other day

you win the trophy and somebody combs through your tweets five years ago and you have to explain all that what do you think about that that culture it's annoying but don't be a schmuck don't write stupid things on social media

don't be a schmuck there's an easy way out Yeah. Before you, look at what you're writing. I mean, at this point, you've got to be a schmuck, if I can use that word. Sure. You've got to be a schmuck to not have noticed. Hey, this is dangerous. This medium is dangerous. Be careful. That's all. Just be careful. Be smart. Don't be an idiot. So you, I mean, you're on social media, but purely as a professional venture. Not really. I'm not really. I don't write much stuff. I certainly don't. comment or do stuff like that.

It doesn't interest me enough, frankly. There's no temptation to fire off a tweet. Nah. This is, this is, I mean, how does it compare with that? Right, right. When you come up with something that works here, it's a rush. It's like my blood just goes into my head. It's like, wow, why would I spend my time on this

when I could spend it on this? You still get that rush? When you come out here and the crowd laughs? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I don't hear the applause when I come out. I have no interest in that. Really?

Nah. Because that's for the past. Right. They're saying, we like what you've done in the past. Right. And that's not what tonight's about. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah, tonight's about tonight.

We've got to make this happen tonight. I want you to go home tonight and go, we saw a great show. That's what I want. And also your habits and your rituals. I was joking that we were in Florida, and I was going to introduce you, and you said, do me a favor. I got one thing.

Don't say it was the number one show. He's the greatest comedian. Just say my name and get off the stage. Right, yeah. So you still feel that way about, like, here's the process, keep the bar here, and let me get over it. Right, right.

Yeah, you don't see the hitters changing their routine before they get in the box. They generally, if you're going to tap the plate twice with the end of the bat, They're going to do that for their whole career. Jeter did it right till the end. Right to the end, yeah. No Mars playing with the gloves, the whole thing.

You look like a Yankee fan. I'm picking a Yankee fan. What does that mean? Uh-oh. It's just a look. Go ahead. No, it's a look. Go ahead.

No, I just like to be able. You should be able to pick that out. Would you pick me for a Mets fan? Well, I already knew that, so it's not fair. It's not fair. Yeah. Please, could you elaborate on that? No, I don't need you elaborate.

I think I know what you mean. What do I mean? You do it. I think you're saying there's something grittier about a Mets fan. There's something that a Mets fan has had to endure more, has been through more. And isn't rewarded. You have to have a little loser about you. Which I feel that I have.

I may not look at it, but I feel that I do have that. I will say when I was a kid, the 86 Mets. Yeah. I mean, you know, I have done that band. And even as a Yankee fan. But who doesn't love the eat? Come on. Yeah, that was a great team. So you always have a little Mets in you.

Yeah, yeah. All right, I got a couple minutes left with you. I was watching one of your comedians in cars this morning, the one with Zach Galfinacus. And I love, what's great about those is that you're able, as famous as your guest is, you're always able to pierce the balloon of that person. So he's talking about, basically, the subtext of what he was saying was,

you know, I got famous. Hangover was a big deal. Yeah. And now I can't go out and observe people anymore. Yeah, yeah. Because they're observing me. And you sat politely and listened. You said, I disagree with every word you just said.

Right. But it's a way for me to say to you that you've handled your extraordinary fame in a way that I think is more normal than some people have. In other words, you go walk down the street, people yell at you. How you doing? What's it been like since Seinfeld, the last 20 years, to be Jerry Seinfeld, and how do you handle that? Well, I was lucky in that I was introduced to fame in a very slow, incremental way. So that, and I'm a very analytical person, as you know.

So I analyzed that day-to-day, what works, what doesn't work, and how to do it. You know, I had to learn how to do it. And I was watching Sinatra's last interview with Larry King on YouTube. And Sanantra was talking about that what Bogart, Humphrey Bogart taught him about being famous, was that you really don't owe the public anything, but your best possible performance you can give when you're working. That's what you owe them.

I think it's nice to be civil. I try to be civil and polite in every encounter. But I don't really feel like I owe anything that I have to feel guilty if I can't take a picture of I can't do an autograph. That's okay. That should be okay. You should be okay. And if you're not okay, maybe you're the one not being polite.

So that's kind of how I navigated it. Like, I'm going to be polite. I do expect a couple basic things, you know. I like just basic manners. Right. If you're ill-mannered, it's not going to go well with me. Right. I can tell you that.

Like, hey, Jared, let me get a picture like that. Yeah, if you're talking with someone, they interrupt you and just say, or grab you physically. Yeah, yeah, no. We don't know each other. You can't do that, you know. So, but in New York, you know, I was sitting yesterday with my daughter on Columbus Avenue. having a coffee on a bench. Columbus Avenue is a busy street.

And a lot of people said hi. A lot of people asked for things that, you know, no, I'm just sitting here with my kid and we're having it. Just, we're having an afternoon. And 99.9.9 are fine. Sometimes, you know, it's not, but that's fine too. It's all okay. Yeah.

It's all okay with me. But your message to Zach, which I think he took, was sort of like, stop complaining about it. Exactly. There's nothing to complain about it. Yeah, right. No, nothing. And don't you think New York's better than most? I find people just, you know, on the subway, they just go like... Yeah. They're busy.

Yeah, I'm busy. I got a job, too. Yeah. I see you over there, but I'm going somewhere, too. I got a job, too. Yeah. That is the New York attitude. And actually, my job is more impressive than yours. Yeah, it might be.

Right. It might be. We're talking about where you test drive, your material. Mm-hmm. You've talked about your audience at home. home being pretty brutal because they're funny. Your kids are funny. I know your wife is funny. Do you test drive some of that around the apartment material-wise? Sometimes. I do sometimes. But they are so brutal that I have to say, do you think this is funny? Because if I just do it,

like with normal people, you will just kind of drop it in a conversation and see if it gets anything. But with my family, you've got to announce, I'd like to try a joke out. Because if I don't, you're liable to get, which is far worse than, it's bad enough people don't laugh, but they'll go, you feel funny now, Dad? You feel like you're being funny now? Which is just a gut punch. They really will gut you. And I'll use it on them too now. That's their little thing that they came up with.

Right. Dad feels funny. Dad's being funny. So you maybe don't want to test drive it on them. It's too hurtful. They're good. They're a good audience. They're smart.

If they like something, they'll give it out. They'll go, that's funny. I like that. So, like, a lot of people think their kids are funny. Yes. They're your kids. They're not. Your kids are.

Nobody's kids are funny. No, I agree with that. Yeah. But are yours getting some of that? No, stories about your children are not good stories. Terrible. They're not interesting, amusing. or relatable.

What you think is going on, the experience you're having with your kid, we're not having. We're not having that experience. Parents, it's cute to you, okay? It's not a good story that your kids sent you a funny text. Don't come up to me and show me the text. It's bad.

It's really bad. That took me a long time to learn. And I have a lot of friends with kids that don't know it. Oh, sure. What happened with your kid this morning at breakfast is not funny. And then will you tell your friend, or do you listen to the story? No, I know.

They don't know. You can't. Yeah. You can't. Now they know. Yeah, but they should know. Almost, I mean, and if you do tell a story about your kid, it's got to be great.

Right. Really great. Right. Just move the bar. Change, move the bar for, my kid said something funny this morning. Thanks, Jerry. Thank you.

My thanks again to Jerry Seinfeld for spending some time with us on the Sunday Sit Down podcast. You can catch Jerry during his residency at the Beacon Theater in New York City with 10 shows running between January and June of next year. For more of our Sunday Sit Down interviews every week, be sure to click subscribe and don't forget to tune in to Sunday today every weekend on NBC. I'm Willie Geist. Thanks to all of you for listening to the Sunday Sit Down podcast. We'll see you right. back here next week.